#it can be hard at times to navigate through relationships where two people have different experiences (trans vs. cis for instance)

[uncanny-tranny]

Hi, I have a question I hope it's okay to ask here. I'm a ciswoman dating a transgender man. I know that there are a few things that he finds still difficult about being trans (but I don't know everything yet as we've only been dating for a few months). Lately I've noticed him saying some things that make me wonder whether maybe he wants some confirmation that I really see him as a man. Of course I want to do this for him, but I'm not entirely sure how. Do you have any tips?

I think so much of it boils down to being compassionate and direct. There's so much pressure on people in relationships to just "know" through divine interpretation of how to best love their partner, and there is almost no thought given about the idea of offering love being a continuous conversation.

I'm not sure what will "work" best for your partner to show that you see him and not a warped perception, so I really think asking questions about where he is at might be more beneficial, since you'll be hearing direct feedback. I know it can be hard to navigate through something you're unfamiliar with right now, so that makes it even more important that you navigate through it with the person in question.

Trans manhood looks different for... literally all of us, which is why I don't have a direct answer for how you can help your partner feel loved and seen as a man. Since it looks different for each of us, the things that affirm us and help us will all look different, as well as the things that make us feel less understood and hurt.

[faulty-writes]

Hello! I really love your work and your representations of the characters, i never seen a mha account write this good.

Could your please do romantic headcanons of iida with a chilhoodfriend? It can be anything you want.

Thank you for such amazing work, i really like your fanfics and how you write the characters.

[ Awe, thank you! I appreciate that you enjoy my writing and support my blog! <3 I hope I did your request justice. ]

The first time you met him, you were five years old, at a meeting, attending a prestigious school for gifted children. Tenya was standing across the room, observing his surroundings with his family, and when the two of you made eye contact, you shyly glanced away while he smiled.

You didn't tend to make friends, and Tenya put people off because of his odd way of speaking and bizarre arm movements. However, you found them endearing, and over the course of your elementary school years, you grew closer and had each other's back.

When the time came for you to advance to the next grade, you felt saddened that you would be separated from Tenya. But fate had other plans, and you, yet again, found yourself attending another school together. You happened to bump into him while trying to navigate through the crowd of fellow students. He was happy to see you. "It's quite astounding that we should meet again! However, I am quite honored to have you by my side once more!"

The two of you shared various hobbies. In fact, it was you who introduced Tenya to the wonders of encyclopedias and since then, he committed to them. Others might think he only read them because of his intelligence but the truth was, he read them because they reminded him of you, his dearest friend.

"I wish to make my family lineage proud and attend Yuuei to become a hero!" You'd be shocked at his confession if it weren't the same thing you wanted to do. But you remained silent as he took your hands, and your heart raced as he looked at you and said, "Forgive me if I am being rather forward. However, I want to request that you enroll at Yuuei as well. Regardless of whether we are separated into different departments does not matter because I do not want to lose you."

It wasn't until you witnessed Tenya during the entrance exams that you realized your attraction to him. His built physique and agility had you smitten, and this was the origin of your feelings for him. Likewise, despite ending up in the general studies department, Tenya's feelings for you shifted into a more romantic sense when he witnessed how hard you worked on your academic studies.

Apart from the obvious mutual attraction you felt for one another, neither of you confessed your feelings for fear of ruining your friendship. But those around you seemed to notice the romantic tension in the air whenever you two were together. Of course, every time someone questioned either of you, there was denial.

The first time you tried to kiss him was during the winter when you slipped and scraped your knee on a patch of ice. Tenya offered to carry you to the bathroom where he could properly dress and treat the scrape. He was so gentle when he was applying antiseptic that you couldn't help but lean forward with the intention to kiss him but ended up bumping heads instead.

Your first actual kiss was during the first-year prom dance, the lighting gave a romantic atmosphere as did the soft music. Tenya looked handsome in his blue suit, and his eyes sparkled in the darkened light. You couldn't help but lean forward, and to your surprise, he followed, and a spark came when your lips collided.

"Are you certain you wish to proceed with this…" he cleared his throat, "step in our relationship?" He was happy that the two of you had shared that wonderful kiss and had, at the same time, nonverbally expressed your feelings for one another. But he was still concerned that romance would ruin your friendship.

You managed to help Tenya through his worries and proved that despite your long-life friendship, the two of you were indeed romantically compatible. It was shortly after this that Tenya began to envision your future together. He, as a pro hero, and you by his side with the potential of expanding the Iida family.

[savebylou]

The article basically says what it's in the title but if anyone wants to read the article it is below. The book will be out in August 1st.

Lottie Tomlinson has documented the 'highs' and 'lows' of touring with brother Louis at the height of his One Direction fame and the grief she suffered following the devastating loss of her mother and sister in new memoir Lucky Girl.

The influencer, 25, was just 16 when she travelled the world with Louis and his bandmates Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Liam Payne, working as a makeup artist during their global On the Road Again Tour.

And she looks back at the adventure, which began when Louis was propelled to stardom on the X Factor, in her upcoming book, where she talks about how she coped amongst the madness.

Lucky Girl, set for release in August, also reflects on the enormously difficult chapters of her life, losing her beloved mother Johannah to leukaemia and three years later, her sister, who was only 18 when she died from an accidental overdose.

In MailOnline's exclusive video, Lottie revealed: 'I have been working on a very special project, which will be launching in August. 

'It's the release of my brand new book Lucky Girl. 

'It's such a special project for me and means so much, looking back on my journey for the first time, all the highs and the lows from the early days of my career when I was just 16 years old to finding my way when life changed forever. 

'Apart from being in a place where I feel truly happy, I have learned to navigate through the hard times even when loss and grief changes your life forever. 

'People often ask me how I got through it all and this book is my answer. I hope that it can inspire you to find your own luck.' 

Lottie was just 18 when her mum passed away, describing the sudden loss as 'shocking' and 'scary.' 

Just three years later, her sister Félicité died from an overdose aged 18, leaving Lottie and her siblings including sisters Phoebe and Daisy devastated.  She regrets Félicité not having access to the help she desperately needed in the years after their mother's death and has campaigned for families to have further aid when coping with grief.  The mother-of-one, who shares son Lucky, 18 months, with fiancé Lewis Burton, has spoken about the all encompassing grief she suffered and how it put a strain on her big family.

She said: 'It was interesting how I coped… obviously it was two different relationships, a mum and your sister, which is more of a friendship and then the different ages, there's a lot that comes into play.

'There's not a one size fits all with grief and everyone deals with it in their own way.'

Lottie told MailOnline that while writing the book was a 'very emotional experience' she also loved the opportunity to look back on her life so far.  She said: 'It's going to be personal to my story. It has been an amazing experience but also very emotional. I have loved it… it's something I have wanted to do for ages. 'We have been working on this for a couple of years, I can't wait to release it and see when it all comes to life.'

Lucky Girl: Family, falling and finding my way will be published in hardback, audio (with Lottie narrating) and eBook on August 1st 

x

[homestuckreplay]

EOA2 - Character Opinions

Just like at the end of act 1, I’m rounding up all the characters and how I feel about them so far, to see if my opinions change over time. There are a LOT more characters in Act 2 than in Act 1, so here’s hoping I remember them all. If I’ve forgotten anyone, let me know!

Love ♡

John Egbert – Still my most favoritest character. I love his facial expressions so much. He’s really going through it, but despite the horrors both immediate and hovering, he finds joy in the small things, which is a trait I love in both characters and real people. His excitement over making the pogo hammer is a highlight of the act, and his movie referencing so hard he breaks the box and his trying to be a paladin with the Slimer pogo as his faithful steed are excellent too. I love how John uses his very specific areas of expertise, like movies and magic and his other interests from the start of the story, to solve problems that don’t at first seem related. I love how he’s openly scared and reluctant and how he rises to challenges anyway. I love how he knows he doesn’t know things and is willing to experiment. I love how he has strong emotional responses often for no apparent reason. I just think he’s neat.

Rose Lalonde – I have so much fun reading anything Rose says. Her GameFAQs are so unintentionally hilarious but she’s also got a great intentional sense of humor, like her fake-mustache W and her trying to create the Colonelsprite. I do think she plays a little fast and loose with John’s life, expecting him to navigate combat on narrow platforms and stairs above an endless void, but I can cut her some slack because she’s having to balance her responsibility over John with trying to save her own life. All of her scenes so far have been based around her game connection with John – either actively playing the game, or trying to reconnect her laptop – and my hope for act 3 is for Rose to get a story of her own. Ideally one that involves summoning one of those sick ass creatures from the grimoire.

Zazzerpan the Learned – He is a twenty foot tall wizard, and as such, is the only Homestuck character I would describe as ‘hot’.

Wayward Vagabond – Easily the best mayor Can Town has ever had. Started off as a rude tyrant yelling at John, but it ended up just being cultural differences, and they’ve really worked on communication. I love how creative WV is, how ready they are to take enjoyment in life where they can get it, and how much they care for their non-edible possessions. They’re in this very structured, somewhat antagonistic, Sburb-mediated relationship with John, but I actually think the two of them have a lot in common, and if they could just sit down together with a big train set they’d have a blast.

Serenity – Not only is she glowing and sparkly, but she’s smart and good at taking responsibility in an emergency.

Like

Nannasprite – Ghost? Harlequin? Game construct? Loving grandmother? Nannasprite is all these things. Sure, she’s going way overboard on the cookies, but she doesn’t know John well enough to know he’s not into baked goods. And she really got him with the bucket on the door. That was a great prank. Mostly, I like her for giving me the Good Lore. Please Nannasprite, I will eat as many cookies as you want if you will infodump to me about Sburb for hours on end.

Rambunctious Crow – An absolute scamp who’s just doing what crows do. Made even cooler by the addition of a sword.

Neutral/Mixed

Dave Strider – I still think Dave sucks, just like at the end of act 1. I think his insistence on irony is exhausting and his raps are a chore to read, I hate how dismissive he is of other people’s interests and how superior he is about his own, I think he’s way too quick to resort to violence and way too slow to do any kind of self reflection. But. Having learned more about his bro and his living situation, I understand why he sucks so bad, and I don’t think he’s really to blame. I hope that Dave’s bro is kidnapped by imps soon, in Sburb or otherwise, because I think that’s the only way Dave could become someone I actually like.

Dad – I’m harsh on parents in fiction. I think Dad seems like an awesome guy, I love his Serious Business app, his preparedness re: shaving cream, his bucking of gender roles by always being in the kitchen, and his refusal to go quietly with the imps. But despite the external trappings of a father and his obvious love for John, he seems unwilling to meet John where he is and be the dad John actually wants and needs. I wish he would do more to get to know John as a person, to perhaps offer him some tasty roasted vegetables, to perhaps buy him the Nintendo DSi instead of a harlequin doll, to open up to John about his own life and to take him on some trips into Seattle. I wonder if he regrets not doing all that now that they’re separated.

Uncertain

gardenGnostic – I want to like GG, and I hope I will end up liking her, but Act 2 has built up so much mystery around GG that even though she’s had a few further pesterlogs I feel like I know less about her than I did at the end of act 1. She really plays up how she ‘can’t’ tell people things but still insists on mentioning them, which is an annoying trait, but I like her positive attitude and the fact that she’s so encouraging to her friends.

Peregrine Mendicant – I like that they are collecting mailboxes, as I am a huge fan of the postal service as an institution, but I do not have a sense of them as a character.

Mom – First off, we should eat the rich and redistribute Mom’s wealth. Her millionaire status aside, I don’t think she’s a good parent, or that exchanging passive aggressive notes with your daughter or ignoring her suicide threats is in any way healthy. But, it seems from WV: Ascend that her role in the story is bigger than raising Rose. Whether that goes towards redeeming her or makes her even worse, only time will tell.

Dislike

Sburb – I’m deeply fascinated by Sburb and I love to analyze it, and the story is making it increasingly clear that the game Sburb (2009) is just a small part of the larger entity Skaia (~4 billion BC). As a story element it’s amazing, but as a force acting on the characters it’s nothing but sinister. Willing to sacrifice the whole continent to achieve its secret goals, many of whom haven’t elected to play the game, and keeping its nature hidden from players until it’s far too late, it’s like a form of extreme gamer Darwinism allowing only its best players to survive. Its use of mind control and its impact on real life means it can’t even be fun to play, arguably the worst sin for a video game.

Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff – I would not hang out with these guys.

Midnight Crew – These four spent a hundred pages stuck in a bunker and all they were able to do was inflict violence on each other and fail to play 52 pickup. WV managed a skilful escape 32 pages after getting stuck. Case closed.

Hate

Bro – Just the worst guy imaginable. Anyone who controls a child through violence and fear, withholding food and a safe home, is irredeemable in my book and bad enough that I can’t even enjoy reading about him. There’s nothing wrong with being into puppets, or porn, or puppet porn, or even making a career out of puppet porn and ventriloquist rapping, but there is something wrong with forcing these things on people who aren’t comfortable with them and aren’t able to say no.

Lil Cal – He is bad to look at.

[the-mark-of-a-dying-star]

12 years ago, you were 15 and stood on stage with a nervous smile, excited to perform your debut song.

Critics labeled that move as "stupid," making predictions on how a soloist from a third-rate company can never survive the industry. Yet, against all odds, you won at a music show pretty early in your career.

This opened the door to success. You were able to release albums, hits after hits, won at music and award shows, filmed videos, tours around the world, and even modeling. When you decided to dwell into acting, no one was surprised.

Even when you find it hard to release any content, millions of fans are still there eagerly waiting for you. When did it become so hard? waking up has become a struggle, your manager is back to scolding you like you were some rookie, and your fans are beginning to get worried for you. It doesn't help you're still reeling from being linked to a scanda that shocked the nation. Becoming an idol was once your childhood dream, where did it all go wrong?

⊹₊⋆ play as a tired and depressed K-pop idol-actor on their 12th year in the industry.

⊹₊⋆ choose your appearance, personality, background, and gender preference. you also have to specify if you are known for your singing, dancing, rapping, or acting skills and what type of music you release.

⊹₊⋆ release your last song or last drama (or both depending on your choices!)

⊹₊⋆ spend time with 4 unique people in the industry and get a chance to either befriend them or romance them.

⊹₊⋆ navigate through the fall out of your career after a scandal that shocked the nation.

⊹₊⋆ continue to shine like a star or explode like one while trying.

Yoo Jinhyuk / Jieun ( M / F) — The Constant

Long before either you and J were idols, they were someone from your hometown who was hellbent on outdoing you. Your life was a hell, not only was K your age, they were also a family friend and your classmate.  For your entire life, whenever you do something, J will somehow find a way to do it better. It wasn't a surprise that their career as an idol flourished as quickly as yours. You have spent a chunk of your life wondering if you have done something bad to warrant such hatred. If only you could notice the looks J gives you, maybe you'd see there was never a trace of hatred.

Choi Kihoon / Kyuri (M / F) — The Newcomer

K is your senior in the industry, they debuted four years before the public even knew about you. Strangely enough, you and K have not formally met each other yet. There were many instances where you were supposed to meet them and even work with them in some films, but it always fell through. Who would have thought they would become your neighbor? Known for their intimidating looks and villain roles, K is surprisingly kind-to a naïve level. It's a surprise that they have been able to live in a world like this.  Would you give this kind newcomer a chance?

Shin Hojin / Hwayoung (M / F) — The Artist

Your relationship with H is extremely awkward even when you both come from the same company. As an industry senior, you do your best to guide H and their group so that they can avoid all your mistakes and be the best of the best. However, as H debuted later in their life, they are actually older than you. It throws you off. You don't know how to interact with them without sounding rude. Little do you know, you are their muse. The one H means when they write love songs. Can this hopeless romantic have a chance with you?

Lee Sunwoo / Soojin / Soo (M / F / NB) — The Reporter

You should not be seen with them; it will only ruin your career. It is best to stay clear of them. Well, that is what S convinced themselves. They weren't like this before. S was once known for their professionalism and straight-laced reports, up until two years ago. S was the main reporter who made the public aware of a devious crime done by different celebrities. While reporting it to the public was the right thing, S's mental health took a decline. Honestly, S is a hypocrite. They keep on telling you this friendship is a bad look when they're the ones who crave your presence the most. They want to protect you but fear crossing the line between protecting you and abandoning you.

⊹₊⋆ Trigger warnings: Depression, suicide, self-harm, internalized homophobia, and sexism. More will be added.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Thai QL Favorites Game

*sigh* y'all seem to love torturing me with the terrible, terrible weight of having to pick favorites.

Tagged by @telomeke

Favorite Thai QL: Moonlight Chicken 

gif by @jaehwany

This is so fucking hard because like…I Told Sunset About You, 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, and The Eclipse exist and I could wax poetic about all of them, about how much heart went in to them, about how strong the performances of the actors are, about how emotionally impactful these shows were for me. Because all of them were, and they were impactful and relevant to me in so many different ways. I can say with utter confidence that I have not been as impacted by a piece of television as I was with ITSAY and 180D. But, fundamentally, Moonlight Chicken is the show that started it all for me. Moonlight Chicken is the first show that I started writing analysis about, it is the first show that I started interacting with other people on this website over, I have so many tumblr friends now explicitly because of how I engaged with this show, and how others engaged with this show. And so, regardless of how many other incredible, impactful, cinematographic masterpieces grace my screen, Moonlight Chicken will forever be my favorite because it gave me a community I didn’t have before. 

Favorite Pairing: First and Khaotung 

gif by @gunsatthaphan

I want to make it very clear, I do not condone fanservice. I am generally opposed to speculating about the nature of two actor’s relationships to one another outside of work. So, when I talk about my favorite pairing, I mean it strictly as scene partners. First and Khaotung are my favorite pairing because they are incredible fucking actors. First is a fucking chamelian, like seriously, I saw him in Not Me first, then in The Eclipse, and I think it took me until I looked up what else First had been in during my first viewing of The Eclipse that I even realized he had played Yok. And that blew my fucking mind because Yok and Akk are radically different characters. Yok is loud, chaotic, comfortable, and open. Akk is quiet, stressed, distressed, closeted, suppressed, and First does such an incredible job with both of those characters. After I watched The Eclipse for the first time, I went back right after to watch Not Me so I could compare First’s performance, and I was just blown away. I have since rewatched The Eclipse about six times.

gif by @choikangho

Then I saw him as Alan in MLC and again, First was able to be an asshole to Jim while maintaining a sympathetic position, he navigates so well the razor thin edge that has to be balanced when it comes to making a character that first appears as an antagonistic force but whose pain and anger is immediately understandable, and he does it with ease. It both makes me sad and happy that Aof did not know how good of an actor First was. I heard from @so-much-left-to-learn that Moonlight Chicken started filming before The Eclipse was released, and that Aof wasn’t ever on set for The Eclipse and therefore would not have really had a chance to see him playing more serious roles. I am glad that Aof acknowledging how blown away he was by First means that First actually can act and I am not just distracted by the angelic face of his. Also, this boy can fucking cry. 

gif by @gaykey

Khaotung similarly, I think my first exposure to Khao was The Eclipse and then I saw him in A Tale of A Thousand Stars and I was like “Hello??????????? Where did my rat bastard go? This is a sweet ray of sunshine!” Khao is a powerhouse, and a master at displaying, expressing, and articulating grief that it radiates out of the screen. It is unsurprising to me that everyone was singing his praises in MLC and I feel some type of way about the fact that Aof knew how talented Khaotung was and trusted him to carry the heavy responsibility of portraying the grief of losing a parent so soon after Aof lost his. And everyone who said that your eye can’t help but be drawn to Khao whenever he is on screen is correct. Khaotung is a force to be reckoned with, and though you are drawn to him, I don’t think when he is not the focus of the moment that he ever steals the scene. Also, this boy can fucking cry. 

gif by @thebvbbletea

I think it was @ginnymoonbeam who said that First and Khaotung elevate every role they play, and I have to agree. But further, they elevate each other, and I so enjoyed the clips I’ve seen of First and Khaotung discussing their friendship and how they had never gotten to work together, and how they had a conversation with each other when they got cast opposite one another in The Eclipse being like “this is probably the one and only time they are going to have us work together, so let’s show them what we’ve got” and they just like…demolished those fucking roles, and now are scene partners in a number of shows. I loved watching the Behind the Scenes videos where First and Khaotung describe what they have learned from each other working together, especially how First is always going back to look at the camera and to observe the scene they have just recorded so he can see how the scene is looking, take mental notes, and adjust as needed, and how Khaotung had never done that until he was on set with First. 

Again, I will not speculate in any way, shape, or form about the true nature of their relationship to one another outside of work, but inside of work they do appear to be deeply deeply important to each other which is just so wonderful to witness. Regardless of whether or not their friendship is that strong when cameras aren’t rolling, I love seeing sweet, vulnerable, and strong displays of male friendship where First and Khaotung are literally crying at the thought of not seeing each other every day. Like, I just think shit like that is incredibly important for people to see in hopes that they will understand that it is okay to love your friends loudly and strongly.  

Most underrated actor: Jennie 

I love Jennie so much, my face always lights up when she is on screen. I think she is a great actress, and gave a very compelling performance as Mae in 3 Will Be Free. I would love to see her in more things, in larger roles. 

Favorite Character: Akk, The Eclipse

gif by @fuligongs

Thankfully this is a Thai QL tag only so that I didn’t have to pit two bad bitches against each other (Wen Kexing and Akk). Ohhhhhh Akk, you are trying so hard to please everyone around you, and you are so scared, and so prone to being manipulated, and so stressed out. You have so much pressure on you, you are carrying so much doubt and fear and pain. You tried to murder your classmates, you cry yourself silly over problem you are partially responsible for. You are complicated, and suppressed, and constantly on the verge of bursting, and I want to just wrap you in a blanket, give you hot chocolate, and tell you everything is going to be okay. Akk is my beloved BL boy. I relate very hard to the composition of his character. I am not an Akk apologist, because he has done some very wrong things in his life, but I love him because of all the wrongs he has done. Because he didn’t know any better, because he had a lot to lose if he did not do his job to a satisfactory degree, because he saw a hot boy who was immediately mean to him and fell head over heels, and because Akk is constantly evaluating and questioning his worldview, and adjusting it accordingly. He has such a huge heart and he’s not quite sure what to do with it. 

Favorite Side Character: Chot, Step by Step 

gif by @mushiemadarame

This man has his shit together and spends too much of his precious time corralling his love sick, dumb fuck gay boy boss and his love sick, dumb fuck gay boy coworker around their enclosure.

Favorite scene in a QL: 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us, Ep. 8

The farewell Wang gives to In near the end of Episode 8 is probably my favorite scene in a QL ever for a very innocuous and unexpected reason, and that is the flashback to Mon comforting Wang in the aftermath of their confrontation. Now, poor @bengiyo can attest that when I first saw the literal like…ten seconds of Wang falling against the doorframe of his mother’s bedroom, and then collapsing sobbing in to her arms, that I was sent in to the most intense emotional distress of my entire life for deeply, deeply personal reasons. I shared this entire clip because I think the confrontation itself is a marvel to behold, the way the tension has been building and building and building the entire show, and you can almost hear the whistle as the pressure finally becomes to much, and then erupts. GOD THIS SHOW IS SO FUCKING GOOD. Anyway, it took me thirty minutes to calm down and breathe properly from Wang’s “Ma” moment in this episode and because of how strongly it impacted me, it is my favorite scene. 

Favorite line in a QL: “You’re allowed to be weak, at least with me” / “You don’t have to be strong, not with me” 

This is a line that is very frequently said by at least one half of a pair, Akk and Ayan say it to each other in The Eclipse, King says it to Uea in Bed Friend, I’m pretty sure there is some variation of it that Praipai says to Sky in Love in The Air. It is cheesy, and tropey, sure, but boy oh boy how I love the level of safety and comfort it implies between characters. Like, fundamentally, an aspect of relationships that is constantly evaluated in romance, is who knows you better than anyone, how you show your most authentic self to the person that you love. I mean, seriously, how much of romance stories revolves around hiding parts of yourself you fear no one would ever love? How much of romance stories revolve around keeping secrets because you are scared of losing the person you have? How much of romance has their conflict arise from the revelation of the secret, but not the secret itself? How much of romance has their resolution occur after moments of complete and total honesty?

I love all variations of this line, non-verbal ones included, non-verbal ones especially: from Pran sobbing in to Pat’s shoulder in Episode 10, to Tien fainting in Phupa’s arms, to Akk and Ayan always holding one another while one or both of them cries, navigating nightmares, and panic attacks, bearing witness to abuse, etc.

All that said, the other line that has been haunting me recently is “No one has asked me how I am in awhile” said by Tawan in My Ride because oof, yeah, in many ways and in many aspects of my life I am Tawan and truer words…

Most Anticipated QL (& why): Only Friends 

First being a slut. Neo being a slut. Mark being a slut. Force being a slut. Khaotung being a slut.  Book being a slut. JENNIE!

This chart: 

This clip from the trailer: 

(gif from @ahxiang)

The playlist: 

I am 0% looking forward to the fan reactions because I feel like this is a show rife for the picking around discourse, but I am looking forward to seeing what kind of a ride (haha) Jojo takes me on. 

Healthiest relationship in a QL: Mork and Tawan, My Ride

gif by @save-the-data

I haven’t finished this show yet, I have the last two episodes to watch but I really love the reciprocal relationship the two of them have, I know it seems funny and ironic to say this, knowing that Mork did withhold information from Tawan and continued to try to alleviate his fears by lying to him about it, but they are open and honest with each other in a really wonderful way, I love their dynamic, and I think that as they continue to know each other, and love each other that they will only get better and better with open, honest communication, and mutual respect and care. 

Most toxic relationship in a QL: Akk and Theo, Enchante 

Sorry if you like this show, and sorry if you like this couple, and I know this feels out of left field when VegasPete exists, when FUTS exists, when Boss and Toy exist but like… 

Theo does fuck all for Akk, he just creates the most elaborate lie, doubles down on it, triples down on it, lets four other boys try to woo him, and Akk’s devotion to Theo and Theo’s downright obliviousness to Akk’s life needs leads to Akk getting fucking FIRED FROM HIS JOB BECAUSE THEO COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO RIDE THE BUS. Like…I’m sorry, but as much as I do believe that many relationships have some inherent level of imbalance, whether that is time, emotional needs, income, life experience, etc. and that can be fine and does not inherently make a relationship terrible or “toxic”, folks I’m sorry, I have seen 60 BLs at this point and I think this is the couple that I like the least. 

Guilty pleasure series: There is no such thing as a guilty pleasure, I own that shit…

My guilty pleasure series is not so much a series as it is revisiting certain scenes in different BLs that I love. I have rewatched a number of the fight scenes, make out scenes, and sex scenes in the shows I have seen: Eclipse, Bed Friend, La Pluie, LITA, KinnPorsche, Moonlight Chicken, etc. 

gif by @liyazaki

There isn’t a particular order, and there is no intentional plan, but sometimes a backing track of a scene gets stuck in my head and I have to watch the scene to get it out, and sometimes I’m like “damn I miss my boys”, and sometimes @colourme-feral is an asshole and reblogs King and Uea gifs and I am seized with the urge to see them again. I tend to watch kissing scenes and sex scenes a lot in the shows that I’ve seen because I love breaking down the choreography of the scene. If you don’t know by now, I spend a lot of my time in shows analyzing the body language of the characters and there are no scenes more rich with body language to analyze than the strongest emotional moments, which come through the eruption of a fight scene, or through the intimacy of a love scene.

gif by @alexshenry

I will often watch a particular moment of a scene like four times in a row, trying to parse through every microexpression on an actor’s face, or wonder how the hell they managed to get through a scene without laughing. I love watching other people have strong emotional responses in a television show because I cannot and do not act, and therefore I am constantly amazed and curious about how a person is able to make their face move like that, make their body move like that, make their eyes shine like that, etc. 

Most underrated series: He’s Coming to Me 

Honestly, I would say 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us is also a highly underrated series, but 180D is very heavily reminiscent of stage plays (which makes sense since the director is a playwright) and I that is not a style of performance that is as easily watched for everyone. So I can understand the physicality, and the pacing, and the space to be a barrier to actually enjoying the show. Which is why I am going to say something most other people have said…He’s Coming to Me. 

I am picking this one because it is filmed in a similar style to most other GMMTV BLs which means that it is accessible to a wider audience. But it’s released was impacted by a number of different issues, including fan pushback, which is to say the least a goddamn travesty. This is a beautiful piece of media, with (unsurprising) stellar performances from Ohm and Singto. Aof knows how to do an Episode 5 roof scene, let me tell you. I have seen it on a recommended watch list from time to time, with mostly just the statement that people should watch it because there is a really good coming out scene. Which is literally all I knew about the show when I started watching it, and which promptly became a thing I got a bit miffed over, not because I didn’t love the coming out scene (I super super did) but because this show is so queer. This show is a gay trifecta (by, for, and about queers) and no one fucking told me?!

Like, seriously the only thing anyone at all had to say about this show was that the coming out scene was good? Not the way that seeing ghosts is a metaphor of queerness, not that Ohm delivers one of the most gut-wrenching screaming apologies? Not a peep have I seen about Ohm’s ramble about people’s assumptions about what and who he likes by his friends in the locker room? 

Everyone needs to see this show. I know that the distribution of it prevented a lot of people from seeing it in any timely fashion, but it is available on YouTube now and I would highly, highly recommend it. This was a 10/10 show for me. 

Tagging @solitaryandwandering, @colourme-feral, @ranchthoughts, @rocketturtle4

[deathsbestgirl]

wanna hear all you have to say about fire / phoebe <3

oh mikaela, i hope you're prepared <3 (some of this is more well thought out than other parts, tbh the longer i watched the harder it got to put my thoughts into words because phoebe is truly maddening — like you said about scully, phoebe is bad enough for me. i didn't need them to go as far as they did with diana. i get it !!!)

phoebe’s first scene hits pretty hard. because just before she enters, mulder & scully were talking about court, scully was teasing him “must be an x file” and his face is just SO CUTE because as much as they tease each other, i just don't think he's used to it yet. and scully always does it so affectionately (no other motive than she likes him & teasing him is fun)

and it's just. he's so sure he locked the car. he doesn't understand how scully was able to open it and then scully sees the tape. before we even meet her, we see how she invaded his space. breaking into his car to play a cruel “joke” to ask for his help (that's just not how you ask for help, these are adults, they're professionals — i'm so mad about it). phoebe opens the door right on time, so she's also nearby watching so she can get the timing right. it's creepy & calculated. like scully was scared, the way she gasps & jumps. cruel.

i really don't know how to put this into words but “aren’t you going to thank me? …[for] saving your life” haunts me. she does this terrible thing she knows would frighten him (and anyone else he's with...) and then tries to make it look like a favor to him. like he's lucky to have learned this lesson, that she's waltzing back into his life — with a puzzle, people for him to help, a case that we’ll learn soon is all about one of his biggest fears.

and then he talks about her driving a stake through him and she sees that as the perfect opportunity to kiss him (i am not a fan of kissing someone to shut them up, no matter the context. let them speak bitch). waits for scully to exit the car, so she can witness phoebe stake her claim on him. a kiss he doesn't return, but doesn't exactly reject either. after, he tries to move forward, introducing the two women. phoebe immediately tries to set scully against them, against her. “she hates me.” it's an attempt to isolate him and make him more vulnerable to her tactics.

what really hurts is the way it kind of works. he lets scully stick around for learning all about the case, talks to her about phoebe a little, and then tries to protect her — when she isn't the one who needs protecting. but he knows phoebe's games. she will try to drive a wedge between them. she's already started with “she hates me” — it's belittling scully. creating a fake scenario of scully vs her. she's dismissive, acts like she forgets scully is there listening to everything she says. (the way scully always observes him, follows his lead — it's special, and it helps her figure out how to navigate the situations they find themselves in. this is no exception.) phoebe tries so hard to make it just her & mulder, and he falls right into that trap.

there's just something so distasteful about bringing up a private joke in the company of others who aren't in on it. again, staking her claim and another way to push mulder & scully apart, to isolate mulder, cut off his relationships & resources so they can go back to where they left off.

scully sees so much. she was obviously put off by their introduction, but had mulder’s response to phoebe been different, more receptive, happy, excited… she may have been able to look past her distaste. the way he becomes practically docile, which is very unlike mulder except in situations with people who have hurt him, taken advantage of him, neglected or abused him… scully understands exactly what's happening. here, she doesn't even say anything yet. she comments on his behavior, but the only thing she actually says about phoebe is he won't be able to get rid of her just by taking the case to their arson guys. they both know he isn't walking away having done nothing for the case, for phoebe. they both know her motives aren't simply the case. (and god, it could have been so easy for phoebe to be genuine. asking mulder for help because she know he can solve the case. respectfully, professionally. it could have been easy enough to swallow that she's a woman in a male dominated field and uses her ‘feminine wiles’ to get what she needs. but it isn't just that at all. phoebe knows the effect she has on mulder and uses it. it's twisted. someone who has grown would not continue to act this way.)

[i talked about “mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower” (with welsharcher’s tags) here]

the comparison beatty makes of the case & phoebe:

this is so sick actually. and scully is observing all of it, keeping herself on the outside.

something here about scully making sherlock & watson theirs <3

and oh god the rest of this scene!! this is what i mean about mulder “protecting” scully. the way he shares this … is a lot.

scully asks and mulder answers. one of my favorite things about them. they don't tend to just volunteer information, even to each other, without some kind of prompt. scully gives him the space to talk about it, never says too much but she says enough. her phrasing is SO important. she repeats what he just told her in a way that frames it as wrong and then mulder makes the same comparison beatty did, of phoebe to fire. but in the negative way we're meant to understand.

it's a little maddening that he's so aware. she was brilliant, he got in over his head, her mind games (manipulation, cruelty, forcing him to face things instead of letting him do it in his own time) and it’s a perfect contrast to scully. she’s the opposite of scully in every way. where phoebe is fire, scully is ice. where phoebe is cruel, she's so kind & gentle & supportive. where phoebe is manipulative, scully is supportive — literally so supportive, constantly throwing him a lifeline, making sure he knows he doesn't have to do it alone but (mostly) respecting his choice.

she lets him face is demons, but she’s going to continue working the case. because they're partners, and she can tell they're not going to get very far.

also. everyone should read kae's posts about fire/phoebe. they are the best ones:

fire script

scully is not jealous with kae's tags

scully knows phoebe is Awful

and bonus: i did one of my episode posts lol (genuinely don't remember it oops)

[thewayuarent]

Ways of handling addictions in Only Friends

Tw: drug abuse, overdose

Let me tell this straight away - I was in a relationship with addicted person. By the time we started dating they didn’t use drugs for about couple of months by still used alcohol a lot. They’d come a long way to be clean and I was there all the time every time. This year they collapsed. Drug overdose, the end of it.

So I know that my personal experience doesn’t make me a profi automatically. Addiction is a very complex subject and very personal experience. But I do know a thing or two about it.

And the first rule here is: addicted person will never stop because of you. They need to want it for themselves.

By this moment we’ve been shown three different dynamics where one person is addicted and the other isn’t: Sand and Ray, Mew and Ray and Mew and Top.

Start with Mew and Ray. The thing is, Mew has no obligation to save Ray. He was there for him in the worst moment and, yes, I really want to say that he had to do more for Ray - he is his closest friend and he is definitely struggling - but. But Mew has a right to step away. Because navigating someone through healing is very hard and very long process and Mew doesn’t have to deal with it. I can’t blame him honestly for that.

For what I can critique not Mew specifically but the whole friend group (all four of them yes) is the very next scene where them all - including Ray - are drinking. Like guys, Ray right here tried to overdose, may be it would be nice to have a fucking break?

The Mew and Top situation is way different. Mew finds out Top uses drugs - that’s not the best thing to learn about someone, sure. But Mew doesn’t take time to think about “do I need that in my life” (which would be understandable), no. He makes a statement: stop using drugs and I’ll have sex with you. There is your price by the way. And this is also understandable - it is a manipulation, yes, but it’s very common way to try to handle things like that, and I would argue Mew has good intentions here. And oh, Mew, my boy, I’m sorry but that’s not how things work. You know Top can have more in a phone call, right? You understand that person saying “I’m not an addict” while having a dose in his pocket it’s at least a bit shady? I know that it doesn’t automatically implicates that Top is a hard addict but still.

But he is already lying about it. Using drugs while having fun with your friends it’s not the same thing as calling your dealer and using it alone in your room because you struggle with emotions, just saying.

Making him choose will never work out. Because he will choose, and it won’t be you.

And what’s about Sand and Ray? Sand knows for a fact that Ray has problems with alcohol. He doesn’t know about drugs, at least for now. Sand and Ray know each other for a very short period of time, and Sand is “it’s not my business” type of person, so I don’t criticize him while saying the next thing. But.

Sand is unintentionally supportive of Ray’s addictions. He drinks with him a lot - they are drinking buddies. I can’t be sure but it’s kind of looks like there will be a weed smoking next episode? For Sand drinking time to time and smoking weed can be fine - he is not addicted (by what we know). For Ray it is a call. So of course Sand, so as Mew, has a whole right to live his life without dealing with Ray’s addictions. But they are definitely falling for each other. That can develop into relationship. And then it will suddenly be a problem. But isn’t it already? How will Ray react if Sand suddenly turns from drinking/smoking with him to trying to stop him? I would say not the best way. There is also an option that for Sand it won’t be a problem so we’ll see.

The addiction is not a verdict. Both Top and Ray are young and very rich and it’s a very common thing for young rich people to have some kind of stuff - drugs, alcohol or both. It doesn’t automatically mean they are doomed. But still whoever decides to be in relationship with them (Mew and Sand, talking to you) have to think about it and think hard. Do you understand what are you dealing with? Do you honestly want to deal with it? Are you ready for all of highs and lows you’re going to face? If yes, then good luck to you - it really can work out. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that there is nothing to worry about.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I was wondering if you have followed the story of Chappell Roan addressing fan behaviour?

https://people.com/chappell-roan-addresses-fans-predatory-behavior-in-lengthy-note-8700923

I have been following - and I love so much that she's both drawing boundaries and talking about it.

As I've said before, I think the fact that the pop stars breaking through this year are 26 rather than 16 is pretty significant - and the ability and willingness to draw this sort of boundaries is part of it. I remember reading a profile of Shawn Mendes when he was younger where he had three rules - and the one I can remember was that he would never refuse a fan a signature or a picture. I found that rule terrifying then. The idea that you can or should keep every single fan happy in a personal interaction is such a burden - one that people can't really bear. I think it's fantastic that artists are prepared to very publicly not do that.

It has been terrifying to see some people not getting it some of the responses have shown exactly why what she's saying is important. I feel like as she's held firm, more people have acknowledged her points (although the exact dynamic is hard to tell, because it is so hard to )

There is actually one thing that she said in both her Tik Tok videos and instagram statements that I disagreed with. And I've been thinking about a little bit - to figure out if I'm comfortable with where I'm sitting (that's why I haven't reblogged any of the material).

In her instagram she said 'please stop assuming things about me.'In her video when asking people about a random lady: 'would you assume she's a good person, would you assume she's a bad person, would you assume everything you read online was true.'

And in my head I answered 'oh yeah I make assumptions about random ladies all the time.'

Recently in the space of about ten minutes, two different friends told me personal gossip about two different people who had been involved in making my friend redundant at her work. I immediately passed on both of those pieces of gossip on to her, with my own embelishments, assumptions and implications.

While I think that an important part of acknowledging people's humanity and being able to navigate relationships is moving away from black and white thinking. I also think making judgements and assumptions is a key part of humanity and we cannot and should not give it up.I do think both those people are bad people, because they made my friend redundant (and any inclinations towards generosity I find it pretty easy to smother with the fact that they chose to take roles where they had the power to get rid of other people's jobs).

I find it terrifying that I don't know and can't control what people think about me and the stories people are telling - and I really am just a random lady. I'm sure it's exponentially more terrifying being Chappell Roan. But I also think it's true that what people think of us isn't actually our business - whereas the way people treat us is.

It's not surprising that that line is blurred for Chappell Roan at the moment. She has a lot of people violating her boundaries in all sorts of ways and people making their assumptions about her and then making those assumptions her problem. And I think her publicly communicating her boundaries and standing by them is an important cultural intervention.

[jeremywhitley]

Julie Power, Queer Relationships and OTPs

Hey, two provisos before I jump into what I’m about to say:

1) My last name is not Marvel and I don’t own these characters. Before and after I write them, other people will write and/or have written them. Most of them. That’s what success in corporate comics looks like in this day and age - not that you get to write a character/group of characters forever but that other creators remember they exist and include them in new stories and they get to have a long happy life. That said, characters change and the valid interpretation is the one that leads to more stories. You, as a fan, are also interpreted to love whatever version of the character you like as long as you don’t hassle creators about it.

2) As always, I am not the perfect person to write this mini-essay, I’m just the one writing the comic and therefore the one that can explain the thoughts and feelings that went into making the decisions I did.

We good? Okay. Let’s continue!

Being gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual or wherever else a person falls in a spectrum does not make a person more or less than human. It does not make every relationship perfect. In fact, having a sexuality for which there isn’t quite as many years of literature and self-help books often leads to complications that you don’t know how to navigate. It is a rarely acknowledged but pretty obvious fact that this would go double or more for people who were also dealing with the complications of being a superhero in the modern era. A lot of those people have experiences with multiple apocalypse scenarios, a knowledge that there are parallel universes in which pareallel versions of them exist (like a version of me who types parallel the same way twice in a row, one can dream), mind control, reality manipulation, and time travel. Their life is complicated and relationships are difficult in a world where few of those things are commonplace.

In talking about Schitt’s Creek, Glen Weldon expressed a frustration and distaste for the central gay relationship in that show, not because it wasn’t cute and precocious but because it wasn’t realistic. You have a person who has been dating around and having several unresolved and unsatisfying queer relationships paired up with a freshly out, just admitted he’s gay, never dated another man love interest. It’s sweet. It also gives an unrealistic portrait of what life is like for a queer person. It’s hard to argue with people loving that relationship, but it’s impossible to argue with Glenn’s point. Dating is complicated and difficult. Adding queerness to that only makes it more complicated, not less. We often don’t know what we want or need and it’s more difficult to understand what you want and need with less context. Straight people have been struggling with telling their partners what they want and need even as their relationship has been a necessity of human species survival.

But we tend to push the idea of an OTP or “one true pairing” onto queer couples for a variety of reasons, but mainly two:

1) There are so few queer relationships in media that when one happens, queer audiences tend to hold onto it tightly in the worry that there will never be another one like it.

2) The idea that all or most queer relationships are the result of an undeniable love between two halves of the same whole reunited at last and it would be horrible to part them, makes queer relationships more palatable to straight audiences who are still growing in their understanding of the difference between same sex sexual attraction, same sex romance, and same sex fucking.

The end result is a pretty warped understanding of queer people and same sex relationships.

All of this is sort of preamble to say that in this week’s issue of Love Unlimited, I broke up a romantic pairing off panel that I created in Future Foundation a few years ago. In the last issue of Future Foundation, I had Rikki Barnes and Julie Power kiss. They had just been through an extremely dangerous prison break during which they had both almost died and saved one another’s lives. The moment was absolutely ripe for two Sapphic people to get swept up in the moment and intensely make out. It was a relationship I would like to have explored more, especially as they are two characters I care very deeply about. I think it would have been fun. I also do not think it would have worked out long term. Most relationships don’t and they are very different people.

I saw a post somebody made earlier today on tumblr about how Julie Power throws herself at every queer and available white girl in the Marvel Universe. There’s only one part of that I would prefer to not be true and that’s the white part. It is true about the comics as they have come out, but I don’t see Julie as the kind of person who wouldn’t fall in love with a person of color. In fact, to the point of that post, I see Julie as a person who is open to connection and cares a great deal about physical affection. She’s a hugger. She’s constantly taking people under her wing. She falls for people hard and loves hard. Not to get too intimate with it, but she’s probably a person who enjoys sex and physical contact and affection. Those things aren’t important to everyone or meaningful in the same way to everyone, but they are to some people.

But also, that doesn’t mean that every relationship those people enter into has to be THE ONE. We all enjoy our own OTPs and a lot of us have that same investment in people we know in real life. God knows, I have had that investment in queer friends that found love and there are people that have had that same investment in my wife and I because we’re a mixed race couple. Those facts about a relationship don’t make it work out without the same sort of effort, love, affection, and sheer luck as any other successful relationship. I think ascribing that same sort of mythological status to every same sex relationship is ultimately short sighted and harmful.

Julie’s way of finding love, like a lot of us, is to throw herself headfirst into relationships, love hard, experiences extraordinary moments, and get hurt when things don’t work out. She, literally, has a heroic impulse toward relationships. Is that healthy, maybe not. But hey, I kind of admire it.

So yeah, I broke up a relationship off panel that barely had a chance to exist on panel because that’s the way I see it going. On the bright side, she’s in another relationship now and we’ll see how that goes.

If there’s a thing I guess I want people to take away from this, it’s that it’s okay for your relationship not to work out and that you shouldn’t treat your queer friends like they’re characters in a Shakespeare play that have to love each other unconditionally and die together in a crypt if things don’t work out.

[me-uglypretty]

wish for you

Pairing: Kate Bishop x F!Reader

Summary: Kate always fulfils her promises, either early or late, but this time, she wish for more than not missing another holiday.

Warning: (18+), fluff & angst | 4k words

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24th December 2023—

Day came, a golden dawn of fury, blanketing a cosy warmth over the cold that carried through the month and settled over a chilly Christmas week. Where the people, still cladded in layers of clothes to conceal warmth, walked beneath the sun’s glare, and breathe the freshen morning air. It was a serene sight from those around, and those perched at a higher altitude, attentively watching the scene below.

“Look at them,” Kate brutally remarked. “All happy, well slept, happy, living their best lives, allowed to do whatever they want— this isn’t fair.”

She casted a deep, angry glance at her mother. The older woman, Eleanor, was sat at her desk, shuffling through papers, humming a mindlessly tune and huffing annoyingly at every mistake she saw. While her daughter stood by the window, arms crossed, and frown fixed on her face.

“I don’t understand,” she continued. “Why am I here? I’m barely doing anything. It’s just a party and you have it planned. So, why can’t I do my own thing?” she takes daring steps toward the desk, waiting for her mother’s appalling response.

Eleanor looked at her daughter with an unbothered expression. “Kate, you would take over this company one day. You need to get used to this.”

The atmosphere seemed constricted as Kate pushed the chair and sat there. “It’s Christmas,” she pleaded. “I can’t have one day off?” and her request, so trivial than requesting something expensive, was met with a warning look.

Kate doesn’t, even if her heart gnawed for escape and to taste freedom—to taste the sweetness that seeps at your loving words, to those precious moments where bodies were huddled together, and the promises made since months before the festive day. It made her shiver in a warm room, thriving to hinder the tears from spilling and in turn, allowing her mother a chance of scolding her.

A foolish child was the dent that bleed in her heart. Grow up was met with a soft blow after confessing that she had found another job at a small and comfortable café close to her inherited apartment. You don’t know love was spat at her round eyes, feigning obscure for saying she had found love.

Her mother doesn’t accept the relationship that made her the happiest. Her love for you is something so tangible, a feeling she hasn’t felt before, and far better that the scorching ache that clashed through her life in different stages. But the life projected in the name of perfection and to carry themselves as the best wealthy people known in that city, it was the exclusive reason for her mother’s persistence.

It was crucial for her to be perfect.

And so, she followed through, staring straight at her mother’s stoic face. She would take the worse blow when faced with you, and the deceive in her chest for causing the frown on your face to appear.

It was incredibly hard. The need to remain there according to her mother’s wish and the dire need to stay by your side. She was stuck between two whom she loves, and only one was more understanding, pushing her towards her family’s wishes than allowing selfishness to slip.

“Can I invite Y/n?” she asked in a low tone.

Eleanor’s hand halted, hovering over a document. “How about you start taking this seriously?” she countered, without meeting her daughter gaze.

Kate clasped her hands on her lap. The conversation ended as that, an endless routine of never accepting her choices and a child, unable to find a common ground with her beloved mother.

And the terrible ache continued.

1st January 2024—

Sleep had settled in for those tired and had waited for the new year to flash through in vivid colours. The apartment buzzed the same, waiting for the rush of blood to smear warmth on soft cheeks and for the familiar arms, sturdy and gentle, wrapping around your body. It does happen in sort of dreams, blurry at first as you lay on a cold bed and whiff her perfume, which smells expensive and sweet.

On the other end of the apartment, the door pushed open delicately, and footsteps were gentle as another body joins the cold that slipped through an open window. Kate looked pale and uncomfortable in her flimsy dress. It was a hearty red, scratching her bare skin every move, and does nothing to flush her body with warmth.

“Baby?” Kate whispered, extending her neck to every corner where you might be. “Are you asleep?” she made a gesture for quiet, her forefinger pressed on her lips as her other hand clutched her jacket.

The wooden floor made a thud at a sudden harsh step, then creeks at certain places. She gazed at the table where an empty box of pre-made cookies was left upside down, at another glance, she saw a miniature box beside. It was neatly wrapped in sparkling paper and blue in colour.

At first, she advanced towards the obvious gift, but stopped herself. The beautiful vision of your smile appeared, and her heart thumps as she hurried towards where the bedroom was situated. Her feet take careful steps up the metal stairs, her jacket left on the floor and her hand clasping the metal railing.

There, on a beige bed, you were asleep on the left side while the accompanied purple blanket was thrown to the edge. A sight so ordinary that it pulled at her heart strings as she stepped closer and carefully crawled on the bed, enough for her face to be close to yours.

While deep in sleep, you dreamed of azure sky as you sat on a bed of fresh grass. The wind blew a certain warmness which made you confused at first, till your mind stumbled into a different visual. This time, you were sat on a table, and she was there, sat opposite you with a toothy grin. You felt a featherlike touch on your face, tracing the structure of your face then stopped at the bow of your lips.

It was strange. Kate laughed, guiding you towards her and you were suddenly sat on her lap. The warmth that filled your chest felt real, as though, she was whirling your dreams with her own presence.

Unbeknownst to you, Kate was there. Her fingers softly traced the arch of your eyebrows, the pad of her fingers aching to feel the texture of your skin, and she hums a song under her breath as she reminisced the first time, when she first laid eyes on you and desired to feel you close, and the last that made her weep.

“I missed you,” she muttered, “Next Christmas will be us, and New year…and everything,” she promised, resting her palm on your cheek and her head on the pillow.

She lay by your side, blanketed in comfort, and the reality that you stayed, despite her failed attempt of meeting you on Christmas and New Year faced the same devastation. The late night began with a mute narration of what she should had done than listened to her mother’s command and feared that lodged between—of losing you, of hurting her mother, and of never achieving anything great enough.

Then, you shift in your sleep, almost feeling the air hang with heavy sorrow and faint tranquillity. You made a noise, squeezing your eyes before fluttering them open and met the striking blue that gleams magically in your dreams.

Kate appeared calm. “Hey,” she whispered, her thumb brushed your skin before settling to the corner of your lip.

A sleepy smile appeared on your face. “You’re here,” was said as you contemplate if she was truly there or a fragment of your dreams.

But your answer was met by her lips firmly pressed on yours. The touch of skin, raven tresses tickling your cheeks, hot breath in cold space, the material of her dress scratching your skin and her cold feet trailing up your thigh. Kate was there, laying by your side and showering your face with kisses of missed days.

“What time is it?” you asked softly, pressing your body into hers and ignoring the roughness that itches your skin from her dress.

“Late,” she murmured, pressing a haste kiss on your soft lips. “Very late.”

Your hand rest upon hers, emitting a comforting warmth on your cheek. “How was midnight?”

Kate freeze. Her sapphire eyes dimmed, like night had casted a look of woe and the moon refused to glow. A frown settled solemnly on her lips. “It was…okay,” she spoke in a hesitating tone. “There was food, drinks, people, uh, music! It’s classical, you know, Beethoven. Or I think it was…but people were enjoying themselves and cheering when the clock strike twelve.”

“Bishop,” you whirred, huddling into her warmth and feel her heartbeat as your head rest over her chest. A sign for her to speak her heart and not what she hoped for you to hear.

It was clear since the moment she declared her absent to you and her mother’s satisfaction that her daughter was buzzed to attend their company’s annually celebrated year end parties. Through the phone, you could hear her dejected tone and when your eyes shut closed, you see her round eyes gleaming with tears.

“They kept talking about my father and asking me about my future,” she relented the requested details. “The food was bland. My dear mother forced me to wear this dress and I swear…it’s giving me a wedgie, down there,” she huffed, shifting her bottom half to emphasis her discomfort.

At the revealed information, your hand descents to the swell of her hips. “Hmm, tell me more about the last part,” you teased, and she scoffed. “I think you look perfect, just the most perfect girlfriend.”

The declaration slithers through Kate’s mouth as you kissed her. A sweetness like honey gliding down her throat, coating her heart and lungs with your taste, with your blooming love, and it worries her for what she had missed the past days.

But you knew that, the way her mind wonders from one thought to another and ruining her own tranquillity for chaos. So, your hand squeezed the flesh beneath your palm, and her eyes gazed into yours.

The contact wasn’t meant for lust. It thumps a song, a word, a feeling so pure—where you reassure her of life, of love, of everything that dare prod her mind with worry. You reminded her through silent discourse;

You’re doing just fine. Nothing’s wrong. I will always be here. I love you. I am not leaving. I know you and I understand. It’s not your fault, my love. Don’t forget. I love you forever.

Slowly, you watch her ease into your comforting gaze. The grey tide in her round eyes, waves through a serene sea, sapphire and alive, as a smile trace the corners of her lips.

You thumb brushed the material of her dress, contemplating the various thoughts in your head. All starting and ending with her. “Go shower and change to something better.”

Kate doesn’t response, instead, her hand pressed over yours, fitting perfectly in a warm clasp, the pressure appeased thumping hearts, and you felt your own wanting nothing more than her. The touch so special, carried a slumber sway through your body, fingers clinging to hers as you felt yourself slowly drifting into a deep sleep.

She counted the seconds till they danced as snowflakes out the window. Drowsiness leaped between the need to sleep and the need to stay awake, to feel your body close to hers and cherish the time without interruption.

Before resigning to complete rest, Kate pressed a tender kiss on the top of your head. She hummed at the sound you made, as if, to ensure she was there. You mumbled something that she couldn’t understand, but she answered with a soft yes, and it settled your mind as you slept peacefully. Soon, Kate felt herself drift into a peaceful sleep and the ache in her chest gone.

In the bed, where two lay, past Christmas and basking in the New Year, the same place where love blooms heavily and beautifully.

25th December 2024—

The night was forecasted as a stunning hour, perfect for family and friends as they manifest their time together nearing   the new year. White and grey particles fell carelessly upon those outdoor, some parting with a cold chill on skin and damp patch on cloths, while some a dusty stroke of grey and the awful burnt odour. While the alarming sound of police vehicles, ambulance, and fire trucks destroyed what merry was left in thumping hearts.

Kate was sat in the ambulance. Alone. Pain spread the width of her body, but nothing compared to her heart, pleading for a remedy after her horrid day. A mother gone. A battle she woke. A life changed. A hero—that she had become, or she hoped she had done something good. The bitter taste in her mouth made her sick at that.

The scene was out of a movie. Villains captured, their bodies battered from an unwarranted battle, and taken away in cuffs from causing more disruption to society. Civilians watched in awe as their beloved hero saved the day again. And yet, neither perceived the heart of a daughter who had lost her mother.

Kate glance at the empty sky. A darkness she wished to engulf her body with. Eleanor was wrong for what she had done. Still, it doesn’t lessen the ache within as her last remaining parent was taken away by her own confession.

“Hey kid, you good?”

She doesn’t answer. It seemed redundant. A daughter had her life twisted in various angles and now, she sat there with a completely changed life. How could she feel okay?

“I don’t understand,” she uttered softly. “It’s Christmas and my mom— she’s—” and the words fell as sorrowful cries.

The older man watched. Clint was at fault, in some way, and he felt remorse for her. “You always have a home.”

A home—with her idol. The reason she picked a crossbow and started training. He was incredible, but the home in question, wasn’t where she grew or someone, she found peace with.

The thought of you filled her chest with dread. Kate looked at him with a certain urgency. “My girlfriend, oh god, Clint, I need to find her. What if she’s hurt? I promised to meet her— I need to call her now.”

Clint paused her attempt of standing from where she was seated in the ambulance. “I think it’s better you don’t,” he said, eyes surveying their surrounding before whispering, “They didn’t find him anywhere. Kingpin is still roaming the street of New York.”

Kate ceased speaking. She felt a lump in her throat. It imprisoned her screams for your name. Danger blinks discreetly without her knowledge, and now, the possibilities of putting your life at risk. It wasn’t fair. She swore to meet you tonight, regardless of what might happen. Everything was meant to end in flutters of smile, not in this horrifying truth.

“I need to tell her,” the defeat in her voice aligned with her body, bruised and exhausted. “I can’t break another promise. I always make it— she’s all I have,” she plead helplessly.

Remembrance of brighter days taunts her as she watched the scene unfold in sheer chaos. She recognised the cold that made her shiver and not feel the warm that made her heart flutter. It feels wrong to mourn for those still breathing, when it feels that death had already placed bets upon them—all by her mistakes.

“Will she be safe?” the feeble question was answered by a curt nod. A wish settled, to see you, but to wish for your safety, if it meant time apart.

The guidance from her mentor, the people who stared at her in awe and some in disbelief. It doesn’t feel good. Why were her hands trembling, reaching for a body that wasn’t there? Perhaps, her mother wasn’t wrong. Love does make you weak, but for her, it was the fear that harm might be inflicted on you.

Like her mother’s mistake. Crashing her twenties in bits of misery. The betrayal in her mother’s eyes as the police car drove away.

And a daughter’s slip-up. The sound of your voice, breaking at each word that passed, and the silence that fell, a sorrow cloud hovering over two heads.

1st January 2025—

Fireworks flashed the night sky, casting multi-coloured sparks across skyscrapers and those cheering the arrival of a new year. The lively light appeared for seconds when the clock strike twelve, then lasting for minutes after, and fading hours later, where the night sky resumed its cryptic dusk. It was beautiful, if fear wasn’t triggered by the thunderous sound and if promises were kept, and a blanket of warmth—your love, if she was there, the night would had meant more.

You began to tremble when the night carried forward. At moments, you wondered if her disappearance was meant as an excuse. But you had saw those eyes, pools of sapphire that shifts tone accordance to the weather like a sea, all blue and alive when thriving, and dullest spheres when staring into yours with woe and regret, and the touch of love hasn’t fade.

So different, so special, so difficult.

The wind blew, cold, and dusty that tickled your throat, and the occasion hailed snow which meant so little, when not shared with her. It wasn’t a moment to spare, playing with the snow and grumbling about the cold.

But that’s Kate for you.

A clashing stroke of vivid colours in your life. She had, in many ways, resolved the conflict in your chest with her honest words and the warmth of her touch, always gentle and caring. However, it hasn’t calmed the worry that made known when the slightest alert wakes.

For nearly three years, you have been dating Kate. The shift happened during your first year of university, a friendship bloom effortlessly with her, then the next year fostered into a relationship. She had remained the same, someone you couldn’t help but allow your heart to fall into her embrace, and what may happen, doesn’t matter as she was enough. A love so perfect.

When the relationship advanced, it was the first that you had seen her crestfallen face at every cancelled occasion. Her mother was kind, if not hovering over her daughter’s shoulder and conveying her distaste for her daughter’s relationship. It doesn’t matter, your girlfriend had said, and the same day, she left your lone self in her apartment after her mother’s urgent call.

You, all at once, accepted her responsibility. It wasn’t her fault. In fact, she has a mother who still loved her, and filled in the position of her deceased father. Eleanor was a mother, and you haven’t found yourself angry at that.

And when that anger surfaced, it was bound by a daughter’s broken cries after her mother’s arrest. It wasn’t fair. Kate had a present mother and someone who remained in her life without finding the first exit out, but the mistakes made weren’t easy to forgive and lives were taken.

Despite the torture, Kate hasn’t changed. A little more broken to say the least, and yet, her love smeared your life with colours. She was the same girl you had befriend, the same girl to shyly kiss you and apologise before kissing you again. Just to be sure, the best excuse that lead to a night of confessing feelings to each other.

Though, life was unpredictable, and your loveable Kate became one with those who had saved the world countless of times before. Clint promised her safety, updates were passed through daily with a quick text. It was hard to know that a time would come, and you would accept that, her love was meant to share with world. A hero. But the first thing to do, remind yourself that hearts were threaded together, and it was only two. You and her.

“Oh Bishop, wherever you are,” your soft voice muttered. “I’m thinking of you,” and the wind blew, colder than before, as if, ensuring the message would be passed to your girlfriend.

The unfinished business must had been difficult. A day turned two, then a week after, and you were basking in the lonesome of your shared apartment. But you wait, staring at the door, checking your phone as you work, and hope as you lay in bed alone for another night.

You made a wish at that late hour for her safety, for her return, and for her love to meet yours again.

7th January 2025—

Blurry white spots fell outside the window, almost translucent by the declining snowy weather, flickers of blue and pink diffuses rays of luminous through the window, soft light dancing on ceiling and walls. The room was hardly lit, only a small lamp was switched on, situated in the corner, and casting a faux fiery warmth by its amber glow. The apartment stayed the same, conveying traits of loneliness and quiet. Nearly vacant, if not for your body huddled on an empty bed, tired eyes staring blankly at the white ceiling, and items thrown carelessly around.

It was two o’clock in the morning, or so, what you checked last time. You laid on the broad bed, absentminded and cold. The pleasant fragrance on her pillow had fade over time, and yet, you find yourself clutching the soft object as a brief memory flashed through, and you imagined yourself being held by her. It felt nice, till you wake lonesome again.

Kate’s absence was dotting the entirety of your life. It was a sharp cut through your chest, prodding your heart, teasing it and yanking it out, then the murmurs after, your body crying as you laid there, cheeks glistering with tears and hands stiff on the pillow. As you wallow in desolation, an almost inaudible thud drew your attention away, you counted till ten, and your eyes shut closed. It must have been another the dreadful illusion, you concluded.

While in despair, you had failed to hear the soft patter on wooden floor or the sound of huffs.

By the apartment door, a luggage was sat beside a large dog, and Kate, simply breathing in the musk of her beloved apartment. Her cheeks redden with excitement and exhaustion from guiding an excited dog, Lucky, while carrying her luggage. But it was nothing, when reality prevails that she was finally home.

“Baby?” Kate whispered, raising her head inquisitively, gazing at the upper floor where she assumed you were asleep. “You stay here,” she pointed at Lucky. “I’ll go see mama, okay?”

Lucky wagged his tail, as if, he understood, and she accepted that as an answer.

At first, she stopped, round eyes seized the empty packages of fast food, and perceives the disorganised state of the apartment. She takes a deep breath, trying to sooth her thumping heart before she starts spiralling for lost time. A reminder made for later, to clean your shared home, and another, to never leave you alone.

Her hand clasped the metal railing tightly as she takes slow steps upstairs and the sight that met her glossy eyes—your body laid motionless, tears spilling from your dull eyes, and you failed to notice her there. Her heart throbs painfully, hands trembling, she carefully walked closer and crawled on the bed. The sudden movement doesn’t wake you.

While deep in thoughts, you imagined her there, soft hand on your skin, and her kiss like a remedy to your agony. Then, you felt the featherlike touch on your skin, and your eyes flutter open instantly. You see her there, grey eyes gazing at your solemn state, your hand extend to softly cup her cheek.

It was strange. Kate grasps your hand, nodding her head, assuring you of reality, and a familiar warmth filled your chest, something you haven’t felt in weeks. Your lips quivers as she silently weeps, the overwhelming emotions shared between two.

“I missed you,” Kate whispered, “I missed you so much, I am sorry for leaving, I would never do that ever again. I promise you. I don’t care what happens. I will keep you safe. No matter what happens,” she promised, turning her head to press a soft kiss on your palm then leading your hand to where her heart beats.

The notion made you smile through tears as you carefully sat straight. “You’re here,” said in a soft voice. “You’re finally home? I miss— missed you so much,” you expressed, your other hand resting firmly on her shoulder and finally, you felt your body relaxed in her embrace.

Muffled cries were heard, from you, from her, and outside, where the wind whistles a song for united lovers, and the glow of night blessed pulsing hearts. Her hand strokes your back soothingly, the other holding your head while your hands clutched the cotton t-shirt she wore. Damp patches left where your face touched.

“It’s okay,” she comforted you, hearts equally wounded and mended at the same time. “I’m here, you’re here, we’re here together.”

You leaned back, still clutching the material of her t-shirt, and your frown deepens, contemplation swirls in red-rimmed eyes. “What if…you have to leave and—”

The worry that spilled from your heart was met with warmth on your lips, a yearning meld of lips, hands grasping bodies, teeth clashing at the sheer urgency to feel the other, and your body falls back. Kate doesn’t stop, her mouth bumping into yours as she straddles your body, as if, she was pumping air into your lungs by kissing you, and you needed to feel her or—life would cease to exist.

“I love you,” she murmured, “I love you so much,” she professed, leaning her head back to carefully witness the reaction on your face and her thumb smoothens the crease by your eyes.

She attentively watches the way your dimmed eyes seem to glow by seconds that passed, a hollow void stirring with life, the curves of your lips as your smile widens, and the silent vows made in response to her words.

“Kate,” was soft, and the inaudible affirmation made after; I missed you, I’m so happy you’re here, you’re alive, I have never felt like this, I love you, I love you.

It doesn’t take much for her to understand. Kate knew you, and you knew her, a mutual understanding and a blooming love—something so precious. A love that stayed throughout the most festive days, and continued, despite missed days, that kind of love doesn’t fade.

“It’s a happy new year,” you murmured, still wondering if life had blessed you with her, and you kissed her once, tasting her like it was your first. “Every single day is happy with you.”

Kate still felt the wound from Christmas, the old ones that throbs at uncertain time, her mother’s sad eyes and her father’s last smile, but she sees your love too, where you wholeheartedly poured your love into her heart, accepted her for all the mess and mistakes.

“You know, when they ask for your Christmas wish? Your new year resolution?” she suddenly spoke, “My wish will always be you,” she confessed, and carefully laid her body over yours. “My wish is you, today, tomorrow, forever…” and she listens to your thumping heart, where her head rest firmly on your chest.

You hummed, feeling light and happy. “Bishop, you are something else,” you teased, and she laughed, the sound resonates through your body like a heavenly crafted song.

Life wasn’t bad, it wasn’t perfect, but it was enough when shared. Kate believed in that as she laid with you, fully immersed in the warmth that emits as bodies unite and comfort that buzzed, the sound of hearts and the whistle of wind. You pressed her closer, as though, you understood what was conveyed and felt the same with the silent wish for love to last forever, a wish for her, a wish for you, a wish for together, and a wish for health.

As bodies mend, eyes shutting close in favour of finding the one remedy that would promise a serene sleep—a mass of blonde speeds through the room, an excessive weight falling upon you and her, then sticky slobber that grazed your face and recognisable barks of a dog.

“Oh yeah, meet our son, Lucky or pizza dog,”

You laughed, trying to guide Lucky from sleeping his entire weight on his new parents. “Son? And how do I know he’s mine?”

The joke was small, fuelling in hope and love, unlike the anguish that drew into dejection. Kate lifted her head, gazing down at you, the faux offended expression only pulled at your heart, a pulsing reminder that you were alive, so was she, and love is there.

Late, maybe, but always there.

In the same bed, where two bodies laid and a dog, laughter formed a lively ambience in the once lonely apartment, beaming smiles that match twinkling eyes, and the promise—past significant days and where worries fumes, the same place where love will always bloom, and she would hold you close till daybreak, and the days after.

[luvscharlos]

i was trying to not give any anons attention, but recently ive been getting quite a lot of anon hate for being both a charles & carlos fan. so imma go on a bit of a rant.

theyre both MY drivers like how many other people have their own set of ones they like/dislike. im well aware they are not besties (obv in a sport where your teammate is your first competitor its difficult to form such a relationship and ESPECIALLY when both of them have their fair share of insane fanbases). in the beginning of their partnership i do believe that they tried to paint them as besties when it was clear they were barely getting used to eachother. but throughout the time theyve been teammates theyve shown that they do have a special way of navigating their relationship. both with two different types of personalities but they manage to understand eachother so specifically. theyre both sensible and mature individuals who understand how the world of f1 works and are a good pair. the fact that even people outside of the respective fandoms notice how they work and have quite a bit too say on the delusion that they loathe eachother is quite insane. yes, they have spats sometimes, not everything can be sunshine and rainbows, but when its good its good! the argument of saying theyre just coworkers/ are acting is so.. dated 😬 (also when we’ve clearly seen them act..terribly).

do i think carlos went over the limit yesterday? yes. but as charles literally said theres times where one or the other goes over sometimes. they both have also said that they both push eachother to be better, thats what good drivers/and or teammates do. if we recall monza 23 where they both battled eachother HARD, which many people thought was too much, and both charles and carlos had crazy smiles on their faces cause they had so much fun. even charles saying that that’s what f1 is supposed to be like. its racing, they are there to be the best and there are no friends on track. perhaps in 25 they’ll have more of an opportunity to grow seperately and together (without the pressure of being teammates, like carlos has said before) instead of always being tied down by it every single weekend through the media hellscape of f1.

to conclude, i will continue to love my pr boys 😮‍💨 who are both top and hot competitors. (with inexplicable tension sometimes😵‍💫). let me enjoy the last year in PEACE.

[theconfusedwriter]

Hello!

My name is Ian and I’m a writer so I figured it was about time I joined the writeblr community.

A little about me…

I’m 24 and use he/they pronouns.

I have a degree in Music Industry that I am currently not using. I also have a certificate in Writing and Publishing which I am sort of using.

I’ve been writing stories for as long as I can remember, but only started pursuing it as a career about three years ago. Since then I have self-published two books that I am very proud of.

In addition to writing I have interests in music, film & television, and linguistics. I also love to read so this will probably be a little bit of a bookblr too.

A little about my books…

As I said, I have two books currently available in paperback and ebook. They’re called It Could Always Be Worse and Will It Ever Get Better? They are both part of a series called the Woodview Stories, which I plan to continue. I’m currently working on the next book.

It Could Always Be Worse

After a traumatic experience in her hometown of Miami, Elena Flores moves away to live with the father she’s never met. It’s not easy starting a new school in the middle of October, so when her half sister invites her to a party, she thinks “what’s the worst that could happen?” Elena must learn to navigate her new life in the wealthy suburbs of Long Island and try to build relationships, but that’s hard to do when she doesn’t know who to trust and she can’t let go of her anger and sadness.

Order here.

Will It Ever Get Better?

Jo Reilly has dealt with a lot of big changes lately. She’s sharing a room with a surprise half-sister, her parents are always fighting, her best friends aren’t speaking to her, and she’s falling for someone totally unexpected. All she wants is to be normal, but what does that even mean? Jo must learn to shed her insecurities, resentments, and preconceived notions, in order to be true to herself and find the people who really care about her.

Order here.

Woodview Stories

Woodview Stories is a Young Adult contemporary fiction book series. It tells the coming of age tales of a diverse group of teens living in the affluent Long Island neighborhood of Woodview. The overarching story progresses through the books chronologically with each installment switching narrator to focus on a different person's point of view. It all begins with Elena, whose sudden move to Woodview from Miami sets off a chain of events that affects the lives of everyone around her.

A little about my other writing…

The majority of what I write in YA, like the books I have already written. I also tend to stick to contemporary, but sometimes drift to other genres.

I also dabble in screenwriting. I’m currently working on a teleplay as a side project. I’ll probably post a lot about that in addition to my main project.

Anyway…

I don’t know if I’ve put the right stuff in the intro post, but here it is anyway.

That’s all for now. Bye!

Also, my main blog is @nothing-mancer so that’s where I’ll follow from :)

[alekyareads]

I never thought i would be back so quickly to posting on tumblr due to a lot of issues coming up in my life all at once. but i saw the discourse of who Anya loves more her mom or dad and made me realise how much of a essentially unhealthy relationship they have.

Now, before anything, let me say i love and adore the series so far and this post is not meant to hate on any of the characters. I love how they are presented in both the anime and the manga and how Endo brings out the nuances of the characters in the situations they find themselves in. Second, this post will contain manga spoilers.

Starting off with Loid/Twilight, cause currently where the manga rests, the lines are blurring between the two personas. He is caught thinking that everything he dose is for the mission, weather that is true or not is up for debate its not, he is falling for his family Hard The way anya perceives this is essential. She is younger than six, and at that age a child is still learning and cannot tell the difference between rejection/acceptance. if we look at a teenager, an example of behaviour could be if someone found out their friend was only with them for the benefits, weather it may be social or related to studies, that person will be hurt. Anya sees the 'for the mission' As taking part to save the world with her papa. When Loid brings up plan-C, Anya thinks of her mother as competition. Not necessarily as 'papa will send anya back to the orphanage if she doesn't get stellas' type, but papa will not care about me anymore or i am not the priority type. If at some point in the manga when all the secrets are revealed, if the Forger family doesn't sit down and have a talk about their thoughts, Anya will grow up to to have many issues on a healthy relationship dynamic in her daily life.

For Yor/Thorn Princess, the issue arises in two parts. one, Yors relation with herself, And two, How Anya perceives her mother as competition. First we know that Yor never really interacted with people and wes solely focused on her job as a hitmen and taking care of Yuri. This lead to her having insecurities and being unable to navigate social situations properly. This is seen in how she interacts with anya. She is accepting of anya the second she meets her and this relation has progressed quite fairly until Yors interaction with melinda Desmond. Here, we see two distinct paths of thought. Yoris slowly getting over her insecurities by interacting with a group of mothers and learning more of herself. While anya sees her mother as competition. Thus, what I predict is that some time in the future, Yor hears Anya say something about her in her childlike whims and the genuine fear of not being taken care of anymore, this will break a few of the bridges built between the mother and daughter.

Yet, even after looking through all of this, I still believe that there is love present in the family. Weather or not some may be ready to call it 'love', There is care and looking from the first episodes, we can see how well written and nuanced the character emotion and interaction towards each other have grown. And this family slowly yet surely growing from a place of lies and deception and fear to acceptance, love and care is one of the favourite parts of the series foe me.

[sitp-recs]

I just want to pick up a fic where harry isn't needlessly cruel to draco in an attempt to make him worthy of any love because of past canonical events. Especially when draco is painstakingly written to have worked so, so hard to change?I am so tired. And ridiculously triggered because you CAN'T filter these out 😔🙏... How do i refine my reading experience? There are no tags for this. The scenes just lie buried in fics. And i have spent so much TIME getting through long fics only for draco to be treated so poorly. It's such a common occurence! Or harry doing something really fucked up without consequence and draco being so accepting because he feels guilt. Like a casual use of veritaserum and then asking really invasive questions outside of what they agreed to be asking each other in what was supposed to be a safe space for the both of them. Or harry just sometimes casually being violent or angry in a way not necessarily part of the narrative... it's just something he does?

I'm not averse to harry with anger and trauma, this is why Balance, Imperfect, Heal Thyself, and A Sword Laid Aside are such treasured reads to me. It's just that they make sense...

So much of the fandom's fics will have something like this... like a really crude violation of draco's boundaries in popularly "wholesome" fics as a stepping stone for the romance. As them getting to know each other? But it really isn't that though... is it.I'm sorry, it's just NOT my thing. I don't know how to filter such things out. How do i keep a respectful distance away from such fics?

I respect the catharsis people find and seek with such scenes and pieces!! They're perfectly valid. I used to be just fine with such a relationship dynamic because they are undeniably good reads. And again, cathartic to see draco on the other end of the stick. But life just happens and somethings i can't enjoy anymore. I just don't know how I'm supposed to navigate my way around them.

Do you have authors that write these two with a more balanced perspective? Or maybe fics that deal with their hurt and pain and trauma with consideration but doesn't end up feeling like either harry or draco have to hurt the other more?

Also, l think you're one hell of an archivist and librarian when it comes to fics. Do you have any tips on how i can find the stories for me and peacefully navigate the ocean of fiction within the drarry tag?

Hi anon! I think I’ve received a shorter version of this ask a while ago but can’t for the life of me find my response so I’m not sure if I’ve already done a specific rec list for you. I love those long fics you mentioned, they all have excellent character arcs.

I totally understand where you’re coming from because I share the sentiment - and I’m pretty sure I know which fic you’re referring to re: the invasive Veritaserum scene. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time trying to filter those scenes out. As you said, they’re buried deep within the fics and to be honest I don’t think there’s an easy way to tag them, because characterization is very subjective and creators might see this topic differently. I might not come off as someone picky because I read and rec lots of stuff but I’m particularly sensitive when it comes to emotional imbalance in fic - I don’t enjoy characters being mean for the sake of it or taking advantage of another character written as meek/pitiful, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth so I try to avoid those if I can. Now I think about it, this might be one of the reasons why I’ve shifted away from long “redemption arc” fics and have been reading more “friends to lovers” and shorts recently, as I find them more emotionally satisfying. Hmm 🤔

Unfortunately I can’t offer any tips in terms of tag filtering - I think that would be extremely difficult and frustrating, especially if you find it triggering. If I were in your shoes I’d solely rely on rec lists made by people in whom I trust and crated within those parameters. Or just avoid the redemption arc altogether and focus on fics where they’re already in friendly terms? I wish I could help more because even a rec list would eventually end and chances are you’ve already read all the ones I have in mind. Let’s see if my followers have any interesting tips that might be helpful in this situation!

PS: some author suggestions I can think off the top of my head are firethesound, tackytiger, blamebrampton, Writcraft, thestarryknight, bixgirl, astolat, Omi_Ohmy, aibidil, shiftylinguini

[ishgard]

Ship questions: Who takes the lead in social situations? How are they around each other's friends?

Thank you for the ask! A sliding scale of three ships for this one.

Ahru & Zenos: Ahru is basically always leading here. Zenos isn't going to not talk or anything, but he's decidedly uninterested in most things/social situations, apart from perhaps observing how Ahru navigates them. (Please imagine with me the 'he asked for no pickles' with Ahru, who comes to like, his fucking waist 😂)

Needless to say, things were kind of tense with Zenos around almost all of the people she would call friends, like what are you doing walking around with that feral lion on a leash? But he's just a sleepy disinterested guy, they've had their spar, he's had his enrichment, it's fine. I do like to think down the line he'd start to gain some small rapport with the scions though, bonding over a variety of things. Him and Alisaie and Estinien sparring, or him and Urianger having hard-to-follow discussions about books they've read, etc. etc. But for his part, he's well-behaved enough, though he can get a bit snide and make the occasional scathing remark.

On the flip side of this... Zenos doesn't really have friends, so.... 🤷‍♀️

Ahru & Deryk: Of the three, he's the middle ground here. He's polite, absolutely knows all of the Scions and the rest of Ahru's friends and allies and the ins and outs of her relationships and feelings towards them, and does his best to maintain a less intensely knowledgeable presence. ^^ He won't typically take the lead in social situations where her friends are concerned, but isn't opposed and comfortable enough doing so, and shares that role of 'taking the lead' when dealing with others on their travels.

With her friends there's that degree of yeah, he knows them, but not as himself? But he knows precisely how important they are to her and are similarly important by extension to him, so while there can at times be a bit of awkwardness there, overall they're on good, budding terms. As for Ahru towards Deryk's friends........ :'''') Well, she did get along with them. Briefly.

Ahru & Thancred: These two. They're in perfect tandem, always. They can weave their way through just about any social situation together, each picking up where the other left off, leading conversations, getting information, or just being the life of the party. When they're in a room together, the bond between them is pretty unmistakable, like they're always in on a secret no one else knows. Who is leading and who is following shifts with the music of the moment.

Most of their closest friends (see: family) are, of course, shared. Friends outside of the immediate Scion-circle are rarely treated particularly different though because again, they've just got this deep and lasting bond and trust in one another; if you're his/her friend, I don't see a reason we wouldn't at least get along. (Loud exceptions: Zenos, Emet-Selch, Thancred's more obnoxious ex-lovers, etc.)