#it calmed down at the beginning of this week
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Yesterday, I was nobody. I went hungry every other week, saving money for the light bill. I complained about the price of eggs, but bought them anyway. I had big opinions about the government, but never voiced them in any meaningful way. I was a star, in that I was surrounded by trillions of brighter lights in the night sky and destined to be extinguished without anyone noticing.
Today, I was woken up by tires screeching to a halt outside. A line of black vehicles tore through whatever counted as my yard, encircling the tiny trailer I called home.
"Honey, stay calm." My husband said, sitting on the edge of our bed and staring out at the chaos. Calm. The quiet of the morning was ruined by the beat of blades above.
Helicopters?
I opened my mouth to say something, anything.
"This is a good day for you. The CIA didn't make it first." My husband was saying.
My mind reeled. "The CIA?" I repeated as he pushed me to the laundry.
"You'll want to get dressed. Here's your favorite shirt, I already pressed it for you."
When did he learn to do that? We had an old iron, but it was never used. Not since we started working remotely. The computer screen didn't mind wrinkled shirts.
"Who's outside?" I asked as I pulled on a jade green shirt, tucking it into my favorite leggings.
"Don't freak out."
"I won't."
"You always do." He said in resignation. "Outside is General MacAvoy, he will take you to our acting president."
I freaked out.
"The president?" My voice cracked, my mind reeled. "This is a joke. You set up a joke. How did you set this up?"
He steadied me. I blinked away tears until he looked clear again.
"Listen, they are going to let me explain first, because you respond best when I do."
"Do I have amnesia? Retrograde?" I ask, trying to piece together the broken information I was given. My husband didn't look a day older. The same pile of laundry sat undisturbed on our dryer, as it did when I went to sleep last night. A scratch marked by wrist, from where I picked too hard at a scab just days before.
No, not amnesia.
"You already know it's not." My husband confirmed. "The world has been locked, repeating the same 24 hours for the last... God... Fifteen thousand years, now?"
I opened my mouth again, trying to even process that amount of time.
My husband rubbed his hands down my arms, smiling despite the grim news.
"I can't even imagine..." We say at the same time.
"You knew I'd..." He says with me again.
"Is this all you've known?" My voice is weak, his is strong.
"I know you." He continues, stroking a hand down my face. "Every facet of you now. Every secret. I spent hundreds of years hiding you from the rest of the world, to keep anyone from learning that you weren't looping."
"Why?" I ask, a chill running up a spine.
He looks at me patiently, and I knew. Being different was dangerous. "It started with people wanting to know you, because you didn't see everything coming. You were easily surprised, and it added fun to their lives. Then they looked down on you, because we all grew while you stayed the same. Then you became the closest thing to a child we have. Even toddlers outstripped you."
A felt a prick in my pride, jutting my jaw out in something close to a pout.
He kisses me, soft and gentle. "It's fine. You just had less time." He stroked back my wild hair. "But then, things took a turn. Cruel thrill seekers would race to our home, because you're the only person who hasn't become numb to dying. To being killed. They loved your fear. And the CIA filled itself with so-called scientists who thought you could break the loop, if they could just study your every dissected cell closely enough."
His hands trembled. Slightly. Almost imperceptively. "You've died so many ways. Died screaming, every time. Sometimes, I just let it happen. I got so tired of protecting you, just to fail at it again and again. Rinse and repeat."
I swallowed hard, wanting to comfort him. How? How would I even begin? "I forgive you." My words feel distant.
He smiled, "You always do. And that makes it so much worse."
The door opens, and in walks a man. No, a boy. He barely reached my ribs, with strawberry blond curls and big green eyes. A child.
"I am not a child." The boy said, hands folded behind his back. "I am General MacAvoy. For the next twenty-three hours you are in my protection, as you have been for the last two years. Ma'am, we will keep you safe."
I swallow.
Yesterday, I was a nobody.
God, I wish I still was.
Apparently, you are living in a time loop. Also apparently, you are the only person on Earth who DOESN'T remember the previous iterations. This is the first time you've experienced today; the rest of humanity has been stuck reliving today for years now.
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morganaawriterr · 1 day ago
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˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Chapter 05;
— Your Sweet Love
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Synosis: In a marriage born out of convenience and plagued by bitterness, You and Sunghoon find yourselves trapped in a cycle of cold indifference and unspoken resentment. Your quiet strength and tender care begin to reach the heart Sunghoon has so carefully guarded. Slowly, walls built from years of hurt and mistrust start to crumble, revealing a shared loneliness neither had acknowledged. With every tentative step toward connection, your hearts yearn for a closeness you’ve long denied yourself selves, leaving both to wonder if you can build something real from the ashes of your forced bond.
Navigation: Intro - 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 Pairing: fem!reader X husband!Park Sunghoon Genre: Arranged Marriage trope; Slow Burn; Angst; Fluff; Smut (kinda) Warnings: cursing, mention of pills (some are drugs); abuse; mentions of blood; sexual content; injuries; heavy themes; juicy tension ;) Music: Listen to 'nevertheless ost' and 'the trunk ost'!! Disclaimer: This story is fiction, and it does not reflect real life in any way. This story is heavily inspired by the kdrama 'The Trunk' on Netflix but with a special twist! Words: 7k - The status now is... complete!
A/n: YALL I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS RIGHT NOW! The last chapter is here after 5 weeks and I'm literally crying as I'm typing this. I never thought this story would get this much attention, I just wanted to have fun and post it. But you guys have been incredible to me, leaving nice asks, and complimenting the story... i can't express how grateful I am for each and every one of you! I hope you like this last chapter, it has a little bit of everything! Sadness, fights, sexy time, and fluffy moments too. Again, thank you so so so much for this love <3 Keep supporting me and I will work harder to bring more creative stories like this! (Get ready to get your heart broken ;))
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On that same night, Sunghoon didn't stop touching you for one second, as if he had to make up for the lost time. He was all over you, holding your waist as you walked back to the car while laughing like teenagers, and keeping his hand wrapped around yours while he drove home. His fingers never left yours, not even when he needed to shift gears. You walked into your home, and Sunghoon immediately got down on one knee and undid your high heels, being careful not to hurt you. His hands lingered on your heels after he was done, and he lowered his face to place romantic kisses along your legs, eyes permanently fixed on yours.
In the midst of giggles and the intense heat engulfing your body, you pushed him away, unable to calm your frantic heart as he gazed at you with his pleading eyes. With a mischievous smile, you ran ahead of him, darting toward your bedroom. When he finally caught you, Sunghoon gave you a long, lingering kiss before going to his own bedroom to shower. After you both finished, the usual routine of hanging out in the living room continued, except Sunghoon was feeling a little more brave this time.
When you sat in front of him, dressed in your usual bedtime clothes, Sunghoon’s curious fingers traced invisible patterns on your thighs. As the faint sounds of the TV echoed through the tranquil living room, your husband's lips never left yours, eager and desperate for your kiss. You tasted dangerously addicting, and he mourned not kissing you earlier.
The next two weeks passed by inexplicably fast. Sunghoon was busy with work and had to stop coming home for lunch, but despite that, he always tried to come home early to eat dinner with you. You could tell he was home when his arms wrapped around your waist and his head rested on your shoulder while you were making food. When he noticed you were done, he’d turn you around and press his lips to yours, savoring every second of it.
Though it's a new side of him, you love his clinginess. Sunghoon’s constant need to touch you and be near you reassures you of his feelings, bringing you comfort and safety. You've been touchier with him too, though more subtly. Your hands lingered on his while he spoke, and you pressed your body against his at every chance you got, occasionally rubbing your ass against his pelvis to tease him.
Aside from the teasing and the near-daily make-out sessions when you were supposed to be watching the basketball match, Sunghoon never made any intimate moves on you. Though your desire for him grows stronger each day, you let him take his time, letting him decide how far he wants to go each time.
Today is Friday, and Sunghoon came home at the same time as usual. You ate slowly while talking about his day. The company has been a mess ever since his father went to the hospital, so he has to keep an eye on everything. You listen carefully to all his frustrations, his raspy voice making goosebumps appear on your skin. He could talk for hours, and you would sit in silence, listening. That's how much you love his voice.
After eating and helping with the dishes, you both parted ways to have a quick shower and change into comfy clothes, the living room waiting for you. Moments after you stepped out of the foggy bathroom, you realized how dark the weather had suddenly turned, with heavy black clouds painting the sky. Your eyes then shifted to Sunghoon, who was lying down on the sofa, taking up all the space.
“Where am I supposed to sit, Mr. Giant?” you joked while stepping inside the enormous room, the soft sound of your slippers making Sunghoon lift his head and pat the spot right under his head.
“I'm not that big,” he complained as you stepped closer, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
“Sunghoon, your feet are dangling off the edge of the couch,” you said, arching an eyebrow but cracking a smile at his cute expression.
Your husband didn't say anything else; he simply closed his eyes and shook his head. Then he shifted to give you space to sit down so he could lay his head on your thighs. The smell of your sweet body wash enveloped him, and he let out a satisfied breath, loving the comfort it always brought him. Your hands reached for the remote to turn on the TV, but Sunghoon didn't let you; he slid it further away from you.
“What are you doing?” you ask, arching an eyebrow.
“I want to talk,” Hoon says in a low voice, his tender brown eyes staring into yours intensely. You nod and smile down at him, your hand sneaking into his hair to caress the soft black strands. “There's something I haven't told you about Jiwon,” he starts, his eyes scanning your face.
“You don't have to, baby,” you respond sweetly. Sunghoon felt his heart skip a beat at the cute nickname, still not used to it.
“I know… but I want to tell you.”
“Then go ahead; I'm all ears.” You offered him another caring smile, hoping to ease the nervousness so evident on his face.
“There was something she did that finally gave me the courage to leave her.” He pauses, trying to steady his breathing. “She installed hidden cameras all over my dad’s old house. She said it was to keep an eye on me, to make sure I didn't bring anyone home or do anything to provoke her. They were everywhere except in my dad’s office and the shared bathroom. My dad was quiet the whole time she abused me, but when he found out about the cameras, he kicked both of us out of the house.”
Your mouth opens in surprise, but no words come out. A lump seems to form in your throat, making it impossible to speak. Your hands tremble as they continue to caress Sunghoon’s hair, an electric pain burning deep in your chest like wildfire.
“She had cameras in our bedroom, living room, kitchen, and bathroom. And she watched it all day like a movie on her phone.” Your eyes scan the room, avoiding Sunghoon's gaze to stop the tears from falling, frustration building with every passing second.
Just when you thought she couldn't get any worse, your husband confesses something even more unsettling.
“I found out because one day she forgot to lock her phone when she went to the bathroom. I passed by the kitchen and noticed something strange on her screen. Turns out, she was watching me work in my office.”
An uncomfortable silence fills the room; the sound of the harsh rain hitting the window with no mercy turns loud and uncanny. You want to say something, but no words seem enough to express what you're feeling. This man has been so mistreated all his life; no wonder he was cold and distant at the beginning. The tall walls he built around his heart were only to protect himself further.
With a melancholic frown, your fingers hover over his handsome face, tracing his features slowly. Your fingertips tap his delicate moles and his lush lips. You need him to understand what you feel through your actions because words would never be as intimate or precise.
With your caring touch on his face, Sunghoon closes his eyes and relaxes against you, his breathing slowly returning to normal. The rain falls mercilessly from the sky, heavy gray clouds painting the atmosphere in dark hues.
Silent tears start to stream down your cheeks, while your gaze remains fixed on the large window, watching the storm unravel before your eyes. Your knuckles turn white as you tightly grip your navy-colored pajama shirt, trying your best not to make a sound.
Sunghoon remains with a peaceful expression against your thighs. As your gaze wanders to him, you close your eyes, trying to ease the ache in your heart as his last secret echoes in your mind.
Your husband shifts lightly beneath you, drawing your attention. You open your eyes only to find him gazing up at you with twinkling eyes. His caring gaze travels across your face as if trying to understand why tears brim in your eyes. Your hands slowly reach for his head again, your fingers softly caressing his scalp.
“Why are you crying?” Sunghoon asked kindly, his deep brown eyes fixed on the warm tears that ran down your face.
As he reached out to wipe them away with his fingers, you smiled faintly and shifted your gaze to your hands.
“The way you’ve been treated by the people who were supposed to take care of you—it’s just so fucking unfair,” you murmured anxiously, unable to contain your feelings anymore. Sunghoon tilted his head slightly, caught off guard by your words. It was the first time he had heard you curse.
The two of you sat in silence for several moments, gazing into each other’s eyes as the rain outside began to ease, much like the storm in your heart. Your hand remained in your husband’s hair as his gaze lingered on you.
Sunghoon found himself lost in your gorgeous eyes, framed perfectly by long, elegant lashes. His thoughts drifted to all the times you had cared for him without his notice. He remembered the confusion he felt when you invited him to sit beside you on the sofa, telling him he didn’t have to speak—just stay.
“I really want to kiss you right now,” he confessed in a low voice, interrupting the stillness that had settled and changing the subject.
Your eyes widened, and your cheeks flushed, caught completely off guard by his words. You suppressed a laugh, glancing away as anticipation fluttered in your chest.
“Sunghoon...” you whispered breathlessly, weakened by his seductive ways.
Your hand trembled slightly as you pulled it away from his dark locks. Your eyes wandered across the large living room, avoiding his gaze. The way Sunghoon’s eyes stared into yours today felt slightly different from usual; his iris seemed darker, and it made your stomach turn in anticipation of his next move.
Sunghoon suddenly sat up and moved beside you, his broad shoulders casting a shadow over you. His dark eyes searched your face and found that your cheeks had turned red, and a timid smile grew on your lips. He loved the way you melted into him so fast.
Slowly, he reached for your face, gently tilting your chin upward. His heart pounded as your pleading gaze locked with his.
“Can I kiss you, Y/N?” Sunghoon asked, his voice soft yet firm.
You couldn't hide it anymore. You wanted him as much as he wanted you. So, with your eyes closed and you're breathing unsteady, you responded:
“Yes, please, Hoon.”
Your husband didn’t waste any more time; he had already lost too much. He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours in a much-desired kiss. Butterflies spread across your chest and stomach as you felt the soothing touch of his lips. Your hands instinctively traveled to his shoulders, your fingers curling and tugging at his hair, driving Sunghoon to the brink of madness.
Besides being an amazing cook and wife, you were also amazing at kissing. Your lips molded against his as if they were made for him. Sunghoon felt like he was losing his mind when you pulled away to catch your breath, your timid eyes meeting his as you tried to steady yourself. Your lips glistened under the faint light of the tall lamp near the couch.
Sunghoon was certain you were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. Your sweet love won him over like a child deprived of sugar.
A sudden wave of boldness hit you. Your small, naughty hands went to rest on your husband’s legs, causing his face to quickly turn toward you. He arched his eyebrow and stared at you:
“Can you kiss me again?” you asked in a hesitant voice, craving the addictive warmth of his mouth once more.
A crack of thunder echoed through the room, filling the silence left by your words. Who was he to deny an angel with such need and love in her voice?
Once again, his right hand reached for your chin as he leaned in. Within seconds, his plump lips were on yours again. Sunghoon tilted his body toward you, wrapping a secure arm around your waist and pulling you flush against his chest so you could settle on his lap. The position wasn't new to you, but the way his grip felt desperate caused a surprised moan to escape your lips. Sunghoon seized the moment to slide his tongue into your mouth, initiating a playful yet passionate battle with yours.
Your body was no longer just warm; it was hot, melting under Sunghoon’s hungry lips and tight grip. He seemed to notice, as a sly smirk formed against your mouth while you kissed. Feeling your chest call for oxygen, you pulled away, completely out of breath.
You meticulously studied Sunghoon’s face before meeting his eyes, ensuring he was comfortable with what had just happened. He looked proud and satisfied. Eventually, the arms around your waist were gone, and he traded them for something else. His large hands held onto your waist, fingers dipping into the plush skin.
“I don't want to stop.” Sunghoon whispered against your lips, his breath fanning over your wet edges. He turned his head to the side slightly to kiss the corner of your mouth, eyes locked on yours, waiting for an answer.
“Then don't.” You responded securely, letting your head fall backward so he could access your neck freely.
Sunghoon smirked at your bold words and lowered his head to your slender neck, his lips warm as they came into contact with the skin. Goosebumps appeared on your flesh as he smoothed it, the feeling of need growing unbearably inside you, making your core throb. Your breathing became heavy, your chest rising and falling rapidly as he started to nibble at your skin, leaving faint bite marks with his attractive fangs.
Then you felt his hands disappear inside your baggy shirt. His curious fingers meet your lower back, and then he slides his hands upwards, feeling your smooth skin. He expected to feel a barrier where your bra should be, but he was only met with flesh. You bite your lip when you feel the tips of his fingers sneak a light touch just below the curve of your breast, testingly.
“You're not wearing anything underneath...” Sunghoon whispers more to himself in disbelief. He lifts his head from your neck just to take a look at your face. You slowly open your eyes and find his dark brown iris staring into your soul.
Your lips smirk at him, and then your hand finds his. Under your shirt, you guide them towards your breast and leave them there. Your heart is beating so fast you are sure Sunghoon could feel it. Completely drunk in love and aroused, he chases after your lips again, needing to feel your moan against his lips.
Sunghoon’s hand expertly massages your breasts as his mouth distracts you with an intense, hungry kiss, teeth occasionally grazing, but it doesn't matter. Your shirt rises as his eager hands sneak inside your shirt further, fingers expertly pulling at your sensitive nipples. Unable to focus on his lips, you pull away, letting your edges part as low moans escape.
“Let's go to my bedroom.” You whisper out of breath, opening your eyes to look at Sunghoon, but he just pulls his shirt over his head and smiles.
“But I want to do it… here.” He smirks, now reaching for your shirt to take it off too. As the cloth is thrown away from sight, Sunghoon slowly lays you flat against the couch cushions.
You opened your mouth to articulate something back, like how he needed to be careful to not stain the sofa, but your words were stolen from your mouth when you felt your husband’s burning lips wrap around your abused nipples. Unlike his usual clean and collected self, Sunghoon wasn't afraid to be dirty; saliva dripped from his mouth as he messily sucked your skin, his own moans being muffed by your breasts.
As he shifts the other boob, your back arches, and a loud moan of his name leaves your lips, your hips gaining a life of their own and starting to grind against his. The feeling of the evident tent in his pants makes you wetter, your impatience growing from frustration.
Sunghoon’s head leaves your chest for a few seconds so he can stare into your fucked-out face, all flushed and warm. You look so pretty and so needy for him. With his eyes still fixated on yours, his mouth slowly lowers into your flesh, smooching your lower stomach with open kisses, just above where you needed him the most.
The morning after feels like a dream—hazy and cozy. You wake up to the soft clarity filling the room, the sunlight streaming through the window, and wrapping your safe space in warmth. You yawn lazily and push yourself up on your elbows, your eyes lingering on Sunghoon as he sleeps.
His face is peaceful, his lips slightly pouted, and his chest rises and falls with each steady breath. With a content sigh, you rest your head back on the pillow, memories of the night before playing behind your eyes like scenes from a romantic movie.
Sunghoon had a strong grip on your body, possessive even, contradicting his eyes that were full of peaceful passion. His fingers dipped into your skin so harshly that you had marks from his nails on your waist and thighs. If you closed your eyes, you could still hear his needy moans, so desperate and hungry for you. For a reserved man, he sure wasn't as reserved when it came to pleasure. You would never guess he was this dirty, this starved, and eager. The way he licked his fingers after making you cum on them made your head spin.
“Good morning, princess,” Sunghoon says unexpectedly, his tender eyes searching for yours, interrupting your impure thoughts.
“Good morning, Hoon. Did you sleep well?” you ask with a smile, turning to your side to glance at him.
“Of course I did; I was with you,” he says with a smirk on his lips.
You giggle at his flirtation and let your body be pulled against his, craving the warmth of his skin. Sunghoon grins and kisses your scalp, his arms holding you tightly against him. Your head rests on his chest, listening to the calm rhythm of his heartbeat. A comfortable silence fills the space, and you slowly begin to doze off in his embrace, the safety it brings making you feel sleepy.
But a sudden ringing jolts you awake. You glance up at your husband, but he doesn’t move an inch.
“I’m not going to answer that,” Sunghoon assures you, eyes still closed. You smile at his words, but an unsettling feeling stirs inside you.
“Maybe you should,” you reply, your heart suddenly racing from the discomfort.
Hoon notices the shift in your mood and gives you a worried look.
He slowly sits up on the mattress, reaching for his noisy phone. You follow his movements and sit up, adjusting yourself comfortably. His shirt rises as you settle, and his cologne lingers, still present despite last night’s activities.
You watch his face turn pale as he reads the caller ID. When you lean in to check for yourself, a knot forms in your throat, your skin prickling with rage.
“Yes, Jiwon, what’s wrong?” Sunghoon asks, his voice uneasy as he picks up the phone. “What? Now?” He pulls the phone away from his ear for a few seconds, staring at the screen. “Sure… I just woke up. Yeah. Give me ten minutes.” And with that, he hangs up.
You watch his face meticulously, waiting for an explanation, but Sunghoon remains silent. His eyes are wide in shock, not quite believing what’s happening.
“What’s wrong?” you ask, concerned.
“She’s here,” he says, his gaze shifting to yours. “And she said she brought lunch to eat with us…”
“What?”
“Yeah, I don’t understand either. But she’s already at the door.”
The warmth in your room suddenly feels suffocating, causing your chest to feel heavy. This whole situation is bizarre, and it leaves you with an uneasy feeling. Without another word, Sunghoon gets up from the messy bed, gathers his scattered clothes from the floor, and kisses your lips briefly.
“I’ll meet you downstairs. Take the time you need,” he says tenderly, his hand cupping your jaw.
You nod and wait for him to leave the room before letting out a long breath that’s been trapped inside your chest. You don’t know what she wants or why she’s here, but it doesn’t feel right. From everything you know about her, it’s clear she’s not looking for friendship or forgiveness.
You take your time getting dressed, your mind spinning with different scenarios of what she might want from you.
With a deep inhale, you close the wooden door behind you and slowly walk down the spiral staircase, your footsteps echoing in the enormous house. As you approach the bottom of the stairs, you can already see her—a fake smile plastered on her plastic face as she sets the plates down on the table. Not knowing what to do or say, your eyes search for Sunghoon, hoping he can help.
“Jiwon, this is YN, my wife. I don’t think you’ve officially met,” he introduces you, wrapping an arm around your waist possessively.
“It’s so good to finally meet you!” Jiwon says in an overly dramatic voice, making your skin tense up.
But you don’t respond. Instead, you stroll to the fridge, grab a water bottle, and place it on the table. She watches your every move, her gaze tracking your body. Sunghoon finishes opening all the food she brought and sits down at the table, his arms tense from the uncomfortable situation.
You walk around the table to sit in front of Sunghoon, just like you always do, but Jiwon suddenly pulls the chair toward her and sits down.
“This is my seat,” she says with a vile smirk, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she locks eyes with you.
Despite the anger boiling inside you, you smile at her and take a deep breath, sitting next to Sunghoon instead. Your husband watches the entire exchange, his gaze fixed on you. He’s trying very hard to be nice to Jiwon, but if she continues disrespecting you, he won’t just stand by and watch.
Sunghoon reaches for your hand under the table, trying to ease the tension in both of you. Your eyes meet, and he gives you a small smile.
“So, how are you, hubby? I haven’t talked to you in months,” Jiwon queries, popping a piece of gimbap into her mouth. Her perfectly manicured nails reflected the warm sunlight streaming through the window.
“I’m great,” he replies simply, bringing a spoonful of rice to his mouth.
“Tell me more! How’s it living in a fake marriage?” Jiwon says intently, her eyes locked on yours, another plastic grin spreading across her face.
“It’s been great. YN’s a great wife. She cooks well, fucks well…” Sunghoon responds bitterly, trying to provoke her. But all that appears on her face is another fake grin.
Jiwon opens her mouth to say something but seems to hesitate, as if searching for the right words. She reaches for the water bottle and pours herself a glass, taking her time as if she were in her own home. You turn your head to the side and take a deep breath. You’re not sure how long you can stand having her in your house, acting like she owns it.
The sun shines brightly outside, casting light on the massive windows and making the house feel airy and dreamlike. As your gaze drifts around the kitchen, you wish this was all just a bad dream.
“How’s Sunghoon’s mom, YN?” Jiwon asks out of nowhere, her lips pouting as she twirls the water inside her cup.
“How would I know?” you ask, confused, not understanding where she’s going with this.
“Oh, I just thought you’d know, since you were with her a few weeks ago.”
Sunghoon turns to you when he hears her words, a confused expression crossing his face. You feel your cheeks flush under his gaze, your body betraying you.
“I—”
“Don’t try to deny it, pretty. Tell Sunghoon how close you are to his mom. He deserves to know,” Jiwon spits out, a mocking tone in her voice.
Your eyes return to Sunghoon, and you watch him slowly set down his chopsticks. His eyes are almost closed, his brows furrowed as he gives you a fierce look. Your hands start to sweat as you realize you’ve been caught.
Your eyes shift to Sunghoon, and you watch as he slowly sets down his chopsticks. His eyes are almost closed, his brows furrowed, shooting you a fierce look. Your hands start to sweat as you realize you've been discovered.
“Sunghoon, I meant to tell you this under different circumstances…” you start, your hands nervously fidgeting as you speak. “I’ve known your mother since I was a child.”
“What?”
“Remember when I told you I was alone when Ni-ki died? Well… I wasn’t exactly alone… Your mom was there with me; she was the one who stayed by my side…”
Sunghoon opens his mouth, but quickly closes it. His eyes dart to Jiwon, looking for any sign that you’re lying.
“Tell him why you were chosen to marry him,” Jiwon adds, her eyes locked with Sunghoon, trying to convince him that you’re serious.
“Sunghoon, let me explain—”
You begin, but he quickly interrupts you, anxiety taking control of his body.
“What is she talking about, YN?” Sunghoon asks, his voice faltering. His heart begins to race as you remain silent, confirming whatever point Jiwon was trying to make.
You take a deep breath and begin speaking.
“Your mom was best friends with mine when I was younger. When my mom was hurtful to me, your mom took care of me. When Ni-ki died, she was the only shoulder I had to cry on. She helped me through the grief, and when she found out about Ni-ki’s debt, you were freshly out of the relationship with Jiwon. To make sure you would still get the company, she asked me to marry you.”
You watch as tears start to form in Sunghoon’s eyes while you explain yourself, his beautiful brown eyes turning glassy right in front of you. Inside, he feels betrayed. How could you hide this from him? After everything he’s told you, after everything you’ve been through together?
Your hands reach out for his, but your husband pulls away, not wanting to touch you.
“Sunghoon, please…” you plead, your chest burning as you watch him turn his face, avoiding you.
Just when you think it can’t get worse, Jiwon smiles devilishly and speaks again, proving she has more than one card up her sleeve.
“Oh, while we’re at it! How’s your blonde stylist friend doing? Tell him his father isn’t as good as he used to be, and that I caught him stalking me.”
Your face turns pale, your hands go cold with sweat, and you close your eyes. This can’t be happening, you tell yourself. Sunghoon turns to face you again, his face as pale as yours.
“What—what are you talking about?” he asks Jiwon, eyes fixed on you.
“She made her father’s friend follow me because she was so, so, so curious about me!” she adds, her voice dripping with mockery, a smirk creeping back onto her lips.
“Wait, no. That’s not why I did it!” you say, irritated, standing up and pushing your chair back with force. You point a finger at her face as you look at Sunghoon, trying to explain yourself.
“No, I wanted to find out who was giving you all those drugs. So a friend of mine asked his dad to follow her and find out if it was her. And it was!” Your eyes harden as you speak. “She wasn’t just giving you sleeping pills, Sunghoon. They were real drugs. She has a friend who sells them to her.”
Sunghoon feels like his head is going to explode; this is too much information at once. He stands up and gently pulls your hand away from her face, then sits back down, narrowing his eyes.
“Let me see if I understand… You had someone following her?” your husband questions, then turns his face to Jiwon. “And you were giving me drugs this whole time?”
The hot air inside the kitchen feels like poison, and every breath he takes burns his lungs. So, you’ve been lying to him and following his ex, treating him like some kind of puppet you were playing with. And Jiwon, in addition to abusing him, gave him drugs?
Sunghoon wanted to be angry at Jiwon and shout at her, but he knew it would be in vain. She wasn't going to change or stop being an awful person. He also wanted to ignore everything he’d just discovered about what you did, but he felt backstabbed. As he gazes into your apologetic eyes, he can see that you’re genuinely sorry and that you never meant to hurt him. But he couldn’t help but feel ill; his heart was shattering with each passing second.
“I’m sorry I never told you any of this, but I was afraid it would scare you away.” You try to explain, tiny tears falling down your warm cheeks and dripping onto your legs, staining the denim of your pants.
Before Sunghoon could say anything, Jiwon spoke again, revealing her third card. She was practically glowing with joy that her plan was unfolding just as she’d intended.
“Aw, this is cute and all, but Sunghoon has something to tell you too!” Jiwon mocks from the other side of the table.
She stands up and circles the table, her high heels clicking mercilessly against the floor. Then she stands right by Sunghoon’s side. Jiwon takes a quick glance at Sunghoon and then smiles at you, raising her eyebrows to show you that she’s been planning this all along. You don’t even know how she found out about all of this, but you hate that she’s right.
“Come on, hubby. Tell her the truth about your marriage contract.”
You tilt your head in confusion, your hand reaching up to wipe the tears from your cheeks. Your eyes find your husband’s face, and you notice his cheeks and ears have turned dark red. You desperately try to make eye contact, but he avoids you.
A discomfiting feeling starts to spread through your body, and your breath quickens in the heavy silence.
“YN, there’s something I need to tell you—” Sunghoon starts, his voice hesitant.
“Ah, shit, you're so fucking slow!” Jiwon interrupts. “What this idiot is trying to say is that in that contract you signed, there were small letters stating that as soon as his dad passes away, he’s divorcing you and not leaving a single penny.”
Tears form in your eyes again, blurring your vision. You try to get up from your seat, but your legs feel like jelly, and you fall back into the chair. Your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest, and a burning sensation rises in your throat.
“Hoon,” you call with a shaky voice.
No, that can't be true. Sunghoon would never do that to you.
The silence that settles in the sun-filled kitchen proves to you how real it all really is. Your husband turns his head away and rubs his eyes, avoiding you. You don’t know what to say or do anymore. The harsh truth leaves a sour taste in your mouth.
Slowly, you get up from your chair and walk out of the kitchen; your footsteps were the only sound echoing through the large house. But before you reach the stairs, you turn around to face Jiwon, who’s right behind you. You step toward her, your eyes locked into hers, your blood boiling under your skin.
“I hope you're happy. You’ve finally done what you wanted. He’s all yours.” Your words echo through the house, your voice stern yet quiet. Jiwon only laughs in your face, her unnatural grin making you want to puke.
“Wait, YN, let me explain—” Sunghoon finally snaps out of his trance and walks toward you. He reaches out for you, but this time you’re the one who pulls away.
“I can't talk to you right now,” you say in a low voice, tears welling in your eyes as you look at Sunghoon. “Not while she’s here.”
Those were your last words before you went upstairs to your bedroom, leaving behind Sunghoon and that evil woman who could never seem to leave him. Deep down, you wanted to go back and kiss Sunghoon in front of her, show her he’s no longer hers, but you couldn’t even look at him anymore—not after what you’d just uncovered.
Back in the kitchen, Sunghoon stands still and quiet, trying to figure out what to do with Jiwon. His head is a mess, and though he wants to run after you, he knows he has to deal with Jiwon first. She’s sitting at the table, comfortably eating the dessert she brought. As he watches her eat, he decides to finally put an end to all of this.
“Get out of my house and take that disgusting food with you,” Sunghoon says harshly, shoving all the leftover food into a plastic bag, not caring if it spills out of the containers.
“Sunghoon, hubby, she’s not good for you. She lied.” Jiwon spits out, irritated.
“Don’t call me that ever again!” he warns, pointing a finger at her. “I’m going to tell the police about what you did to me—all the domestic abuse, the cameras, the drugs. Since YN has proof of the drugs, at least I can get you thrown in jail.”
Sunghoon looks different in Jiwon’s eyes; he’s now confident and secure in himself, and she hates it. She liked him quiet and obedient, like a stupid puppy.
“But Sunghoon, she—”
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!” he yells, the hairs on his arms standing up as anger spreads across his body. He can’t stand Jiwon anymore.
He should have known she wasn’t coming here to apologize, unlike what he’d hoped for.
Jiwon grabs the plastic bag and her designer bag quickly, slightly fearful of Sunghoon’s newfound confidence. He doesn’t even spare a glance at her as she leaves, knowing full well that if he did, he would break down in tears. After all, he was still the same hurt man from all those years ago.
Jiwon leaves the house feeling proud of herself, despite Sunghoon not taking her back like she intended to; at least she ruined whatever the two of you had going on. And that was all that mattered to her.
A few minutes pass before Sunghoon finally regains his strength. This chaotic moment has drained all the energy from him. Slowly, he walks upstairs, the heavy atmosphere in the house pulling him back, making it harder to reach your bedroom door.
When he finally reaches it, his hand prepares to knock, but he realizes it’s already open. He steps inside quietly, gently pushing the door open as he enters. The scene in front of him makes him question if he’s seeing things. You’re packing your clothes into travel bags, your quiet sobs echoing in the chilly bedroom.
“Wait, princess, please—” Sunghoon begs as he steps closer to you. His hand reaches for your wrist, trying to stop you from packing.
“Sunghoon, we were never good to each other. We could never be. This—” you gesture. “This is all fake. This marriage isn’t real. None of it is real.”
“No. We are real; what I feel for you is real.” Sunghoon insists, pushing your bags away and forcing you to look at him. “I made that rule back then because I hated you. But I love you now. I want to be with you. Please don’t leave.”
You can’t stop the tears that roll down your cheeks, his voice full of pain shooting through your heart.
“You never told me about that. If we never got along, you would have just left me. Like I’m a toy you don’t need anymore.” You express between sobs, your head starting to throb with a heavy headache.
“That would never happen because I love you. I’ve changed the contract, okay? I changed it weeks ago, even before we went out before we even got involved physically.” Sunghoon explains, reaching for his phone, which was forgotten in his back pocket.
He taps on the screen a few times and shows you a new document. Your eyes scan it briefly, and you realize he’s telling the truth. But it doesn’t feel enough.
“I lied to you, Sunghoon.” You remind him, turning your head to the side to take a deep breath and calm your racing heart.
“I don’t care.” He responds immediately after you finish speaking. “It’s not that big of a deal. I’ve thought about it. It would have been way worse if my mom hadn’t chosen you. She chose you for a reason, YN.” Sunghoon explains as his hands reach for your jaw, turning your head so you can face him.
“She chose me because I had a debt to pay, Sunghoon.” You respond coldly, stepping away from him to resume packing your bags.
“I forgive you; please don’t go,” Sunghoon begs as salty tears start falling from his coffee-colored eyes.
He kneels on the floor and wraps his arms around your legs, trying to stop you from leaving. Your hand covers your mouth to hide a sob, the act further breaking your heart. You gradually kneel in front of him, taking his hot face in your cold hands.
“I need space… I need to think about all of this. I need to think about what I feel.” You explain slowly, gazing into your husband’s melancholic eyes. “And it needs to be away from you.”
Sunghoon’s warm tears run under your fingers, wetting your hand along with his cheeks. As your own tears glide down your face, you try to show him a faint smile. Your soul feels like it’s being squeezed out of its life—a physical pain that burns in your chest. You place a long kiss on his salty lips, then stand up, grab your things, and walk out of the room.
Weeks have passed since you last saw Sunghoon. You sit alone in your small kitchen, the little apartment you found feeling crowded and suffocating. You stare down at the steamy bowl of soup on the table, unable to take a single spoonful. The room feels dark as heavy clouds hide the faint sunlight outside, and you find it funny how similar it is to what you’re feeling.
You regret walking away that day, now that your mind is clear. You wish you had thought more about it and not left Sunghoon behind so casually. But you're not perfect, and life hasn’t been easy for you either. So when you found out about the contract and when she told Sunghoon about what you did, you felt a mix of shame and betrayal.
You’ve always found it easier to leave than to talk things out.
The days pass by tediously slowly as you stare at your phone, hoping he will text you. You don’t even care if it’s just to curse you out; you just need him to be stronger than you for once. Without realizing, your eyes become glossy, your heart aching in your chest, missing Sunghoon’s safe embrace.
But it’s too late now.
You force your tired body up from the table and walk to the window in your small living room, admiring the rain that has started to fall. Your tired eyes carefully watch the water droplets paint the road, bringing you some comfort.
That’s when you notice a familiar face running toward your building, using a bouquet to try to shield himself from the rain. As the man gets closer, you realize who it is, and your heart jumps at the sight of him. How did he find you?
That was the sign you asked for. Without thinking twice, you sprint across your apartment and close the door behind you. Your legs feel like jelly as you step toward the hall of the building, tears already welling in your eyes from the memories of his familiar scent.
When you reach the outside, he is standing in the middle of the deserted road, confused. Sunghoon thought it was a mirage; maybe his head was playing tricks on him, but as soon as you wrap your arms around him, he knows it’s real.
The rain falls harder now, the drops heavy and cold, but you couldn’t care less. Sunghoon lets go of the bouquet to wrap his arms around your waist, his head nuzzling against your hair, your sweet perfume filling his senses.
He could die right now, happy in your arms.
“I couldn’t bear it anymore,” Sunghoon breaks the silence, squeezing you tightly as if you were going to dissolve in the rain.
“I’m sorry, Sunghoon. I’m so sorry.” You cry out, your knees almost giving way as you finally look at your husband’s face.
Guilt hits you like a truck, robbing you of your breath when you notice the dark bags under his precious eyes, his face visibly slimmer and paler.
The truth is, he has barely slept these weeks, missing your warmth against him at night. He regrets trusting Jiwon that day and not telling her to leave them alone instead. Sunghoon also regrets how easily he let you go. He should have pulled you into his arms and assured you that everything was going to be alright. But in the end, he’s human, just like you, and the thought of pressuring you into staying wasn’t the most appealing.
“I love you. I’m so sorry.” You insist, tears falling freely from your eyes.
You're thankful it’s raining, so he doesn’t realize how much you’re crying. Your hands reach for his face, cupping his jaw. You can’t believe he found you. He came after you, despite you breaking his heart.
“I love you,” Sunghoon says with a sad smile, his eyes hypnotized by yours. “I’m here, and I won’t let you go anywhere ever again.”
You smile as you rest your forehead against his, the rain soaking you both completely. “I love you too, Sunghoon. I won’t ever leave again. I promise.” You whisper against his quivering lips.
Sunghoon wastes no more time and chases after your lips, needing to feel them against his. Your lips are warm despite the cold water droplets, and Sunghoon giggles when he feels them. All of his worries fade away. The kiss is long and passionate, his velvety lips molding with yours slowly, savoring your taste that he missed terribly.
Under the freezing rain, Sunghoon is sure that all he ever needs in his life is to have you by his side, to feel your sweet love. He doesn't need the money, the company, or even food to eat. You’re all he wishes for, and he won’t ever let you leave again, no matter what happens.
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221 notes · View notes
midnight1nk · 23 hours ago
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So, this week's episode...
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[Spoilers below cut]
looks like I owe everyone 4 bucks and a can of rizz soda ��
... *record scratch*
OH HEY NOW WAIT A SECOND! This is the first time in a while that we got an episode with "SMG4:" in the title! and having peach's castle in the thumbnail?!
what. are. they. up. to. 🤔
(the following is my live reaction:)
oooh, what shenanigans are we up to now? and in Mario POV no less
FOUR IN HIS WOTFI OUTFIT AAAAA my boy 💙🥹
A DATE?! SINCE WHEN.... oh....
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4... hun, don't tell me you drew her last minute for a date (same Mario same)
he really did the whole "I'm bi (myself)", just like me frfr
can't believe he would betray dasani like this smh /j
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ARTHUR JUMPSCARE?! omg my childhood's coming back to me "That sign can't stop me because I can't read"
oh 3, you're on a date too? AND a fake girlfriend? what a coincidence... 🤔
somehow, all those smg34 fics that had 3 hosting a dinner date in his cafe are technically canon now, at least for 3's character (or has the Team been reading our fics oh god)
we even get a megari date? /silly
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"JUST YOU WAIT, I'LL FIGURE IT OUT SOMEDAY YOU'LL SEE" I say as I get dragged into a mental asylum
OOF MARIO damn, I know you feel down but no need to do Luigi like that
oh hey E.Gadd! it's been a while huh
our lord and savior jesus, is that you?
well that's one way, very sweet (...depending on how you interpret death in this universe ofc)
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PEAK SIBLING BEHAVIOR HELL YEAH
shit, we should've asked E.Gadd how to reverse that thing
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*chokes on my coffee* HUH?! pause this episode right NOW, because I need to leave my room for a sec
...ok ok. can we talk about this? we're talking about this. alright so, let's start off with the basics: the fact that these two separately have a date with their inanimate objects and at one point, they decided to have a double date outside of the Showgrounds? no doubt all of the smg34 enjoyers are going to freak out about this one, I can hear it
Before I say anything else, why don't we put our smg34-tinted glasses (you got them on? cool):
Just this frame alone, I'm going to dissect this bit by bit. Look at 3's fake date: aside from being out of bombs, she's got a messy ponytail (bangs swayed to the right), big eyes, and a big smile. You got that? Now look at 4. I'll give you a second to take that in. You're back? Ok, because we're not done yet. Onto 4's fake date drawn digitally, appearance-wise, she's got straight and neat pigtails with bangs swayed to the left, calm/relaxed face. NOW look at 3. Their inanimate dates somehow mirror the other and likely this is their way of hiding insecurities/internal struggles (that includes whatever happens when they're TOO close to each other). Just by them being defensive about their own date/judging the other man's taste. Honestly, very in-character for both of them, it's simply how they are. I mean look at them, they're not even eating or chatting or looking at their dates. Just each other.
We unfortunately have to take these glasses off for a reason. Is it just me or does this whole thing feel strange? Not in the usual show shenanigans or the fact that this happened to begin with type of way. It just feels strange.
Usually with smg34 moments, there's purpose to their relationship. Even in the "Forced to Hold Hands" episode, though it was clearly fanservice, it establishes their relationship well in the obstacle course scene. Sure, they disagree, fight, get on each other's throats on some things but when the moment is dire or their goals align, they make a good team and chemistry. Their relationship grew from rough patches, at times realizing they needed each other (IGBP). Though they tease and banter, they still care for each other deep down. ALSO it was good foreshadowing to WOTFI '23 their dynamic and Guardian powers, and 3's notebook.
Basically "they're content with their lives on their own (even if they never met to begin with), but it's hard to imagine not having the other in the picture". That's why I can't imagine them being stereotypical lovey-dovey if they ever became a couple. Sure, it's cute but it's not them. Honestly, nothing would change between them for the most part, and that's totally fine by me.
That's why I find this moment strange because it doesn't carry the same energy as it had before. Instead of this scene being smg34 crumbs, it's more like "glitter splat on my face and being mildly blinded by it with confusion". Hopefully that makes sense, maybe that's just me. But anyway, we gotta move on.
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU... AND THEN KILL YOU AGAIN (alfred always giving out the best of lines)
why do i hear boss music?
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I know right, at least E.Gadd got it under control
I guess we can't say the word spaghet— AW SHIT THEY'RE RIGHT OUTSIDE MY HOUSE
STOP THEM WITH WHAT? OH C'MON
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THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING
THE POWER OF THE 4TH WALL *waves at my laptop screen reflection*
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oh wait hold up the animation style changed, 4's so bouncy *squishes him like playdoh*
*PV arc war flashbacks ensue* huh, what are we doing again? oh right Luigi
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3 what on earth are you talking about?! You met the 4th wall a few times now
also 4's silly and yet somehow creepy face he has here. i need you to blink, buddy, for my sake.
...also why did 4's voice sound weird? (Luke, this better be normal for my theorist's sake)
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...FUCK
I never imagine a lythero ref in SMG4 but here we are :)
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good question, 3. i can't believe you're the sane one here in this episode, even if you also did the fake date thing.
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huh... well that looks familiar *looks at you unpleased through the screen*
It's funny to think how we the viewer or at least the camera person is the same height as the star trio
Luigi: "I've been traumatized" you're so real for that Luigi
FOUR YOU DIDN'T SWITCH IT NOOOOO
4: "Dude, seriously?" let's just give him a moment
"Clone" and "More Clone"? close enough, welcome back "why did I make a self-destruct button?"
CAN I GET A DATE?
I was gonna say, which ones were the OG's? Now we know.
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👏👏👏 WELL SAID
"if you're watching this, you must be clinically depressed" 😀
Congrats to Cookie for your art being featured at the end credits🎉 we love to see it 💙 and based on one of my favorite episodes too? hell yeah
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(...wait Team, why did you choose this one? what does that imply? Team? TEAM?)
.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.
Ok, I had a moment to think it over (and finish some biology).
I gotta say, this has been a pretty solid episode to see this Mario vs Wario dynamic. A rough start but I still enjoyed it. Hilarious moments and of course great animation (how many times have I not said that). A lot of the adorable faces made were by Shadow so applause to you bud for giving me this. And we got to see a more of Wiz' writing which is always a bonus, they have been going to a good streak so far! And I got to appreciate the Team putting 3 & 4 in their WOTFI suits, my absolute favorite matching outfits.
Now, come closer, can we talk about how strange this whole thing is?
The episode title is "SMG4:" now with no explanation by the Team after 56 episodes (44 episodes if we're only counting the main series) (also 44.... huh....) why now? Why this episode?
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Change of thumbnail with one having Peach's Castle in the background, despite everyone knowing that it wasn't in the episode at all and is at the bottom of a monstrous pit (my moot managed to screenshot the YouTube glitch for me)
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"Well, we can't exactly blame Ben. I'm sure it's whatever the Team wanted him to do for the thumbnail."
EXACTLY! The Team wanted him to add the Castle in just as it happened with the last episode's thumbnail with Mario. And we all know what Peach's Castle means.
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(that boarded room again, curse that door)
4's Breaking the 4th Wall scenes (and 3 somehow not knowing what that is???)
(should we count 3 & 4's strange dates? maybe not)
Oh, and one more thing...
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Chat, we might get goop!4 after all...
LET'S GOOOOOO🎉🎸🔥
Well, it turns out that the 3 & 4 scene really was glitter spat at my face just so it would distract us from what was REALLY going on, the Team is up to something. Hell, even my "for you" section was like "dude you have to focus on the mystery in hand" /silly
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The hints we've gotten so far from the episodes and the Team, it has to be goop!4. And it all comes down to the Steam page, still waiting on that though.
We might have a "man on the inside"/failsafe route with 4 here, I've told you all it might. The Team is really testing us on this one, but we'll wait. Well, chat, I'll see you all in the next one, and remember: numbers go first!
*knowing smile :)*
...wait I still owe you all money and soda FUUUUU—
43 notes · View notes
etherealily · 2 days ago
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𝕏𝕆𝕏𝕆, 𝔽𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕩.
this might be one of my favourite things i've written. hope you enjoy! happy v-day💌
Queued + not proofread!
Felix Catton + fem!reader. Warnings : Cussing. Drugs. Long.
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You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.
Desc. : You don't want to fix him, but you do, anyway.
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Okay, okay, so he beat someone up on campus, so fucking what?
It's called being a good fucking person. Look, you do not let some utter chav get away with cat-calling a girl in the middle of the dining hall, and then a frat party, where she might have been roofied if she'd have been dumber (thank god she wasn't), and in a fucking library, just because she couldn't cause a scene. Three strikes and he was out.
But apparently, so was Felix.
"No, Sir, I'm telling you, he was--'
"Professor Walker."
Professor. Asshole. "Professor. I apologise. Professor, I'm telling you, he was being absolutely dodgy!"
"Mr. Catton, I'd advise you to stay calm--"
His fist slammed on the table, the pens on this useless waste of a PhD's desk bouncing, seemingly in tune with Felix's blood pressure. "YOU are a philosophy professor, yeah? Don't bloody talk about practical shite to me, and don't tell me what to do about what happens in the real world, when your whole career is telling people to overthink everything and keep their heads in the clouds!"
Uh, whoops.
His adrenaline shot down as fast as it had shot up and all of a sudden, he was acutely aware of his ranking in this shithole.
Student.
He's lucky he wasn't expelled.
Because the philosophy 'professor' said "young minds often reject new ideas".
Figures.
He got let off with a warning, an extremely disappointed voicemail from his mother (Felix, dear, you know philosophy was my major, that was a horrid joke to make), to sit in on one month's worth of philosophy lectures - surprisingly, without charge - and a mandatory weekly anger management session for the rest of the academic year.
That last bit was what he was most chagrined about.
He did not need a bloody shrink. GOD. He was fine. He just couldn't handle the philosophy 'professor' telling him to 'stay calm' when he was perfectly calm. Maybe he knew that would set him off. Any class with Felix in it is sure to get more listeners. So maybe it was this Professor Walker mooching off his campus-wide popularity.
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Having to miss classes wasn't exactly on your bucket list, but your body was far less used to Oxford winters than you'd expected, and so the flu decided to scrape a week off your lectures. You made up for it, though, being a swot on your first free week of Uni, and not needing to catch up on much.
However, there was definitely no chance your professor took too kindly to your absence, seeing as psychology was your major, and she expected you to be there, rain, hail or shine. Star student, you were not, but the only one taking it seriously, you were.
So here you were, sitting in front of her as she regarded you. "You need extra credit."
"Yes, Professor."
"Your career path?"
"Uh... undecided."
"Career focus?"
"Psychology.' That, you knew.
She hummed, shaking a packet of sugar before ripping the corner. You watched the tiny, crystalline cubes get engulfed by the brown of her coffee.
"You should try going into therapy."
For a moment, you almost chewed her head off.
"As a career.", she clarified, almost snorting as she saw your expression. "You interact well with people, and you have a good grasp on the subject." Ah. Say that properly, bitch.
"Here's what I'll do.", she declared, taking a large sip of her coffee - you were almost 90% sure she'd made it Irish earlier - before sliding a small, stapled pile of papers over to you. "I'll give you all the tools you'll need. See if you can get them memorized and come back for a solo quiz later this week. Then, you can begin conducting."
Conducting?
You skimmed your eyes over the stack of paper. Weekly mandatory anger management sessions. Split second, and you thought it was for you, because maybe she had heard you mentally call her a bitch.
"An extremely hardworking and well-scoring student recently got into an altercation on campus, on grounds.", she explained, and you nodded, your eyes not leaving the stack of paper.
'Conducted by' : blank. You supposed that's where you were supposed to sign.
"Although we have a strict policy against harrasment and conflict, none of the three parties involved has openly stated discrimination. The only solid thing the university has got is a confession from the initiator and witnesses from the side of the victim. But given his clean record so far, we have resorted to only this. Sessions to contain any such future outbursts."
Who even was this kid, and why was he your form of extra credit? "But I'd be using him as a lab rat, basically."
"Come again?"
"I'm not qualified or licensed to conduct these sessions, so I don't think--"
She waved you off, the bint. "It's a mere formality, no need to put stock into it. That's not to say you can slack off, half-arse it, either, but he's had no history of violence and is known to be a relatively good-tempered student."
Then why the fuck?
"We figure he can be let off easy - we'd never take sides, so this is off the record, but he was justified - and you can get extra credit, and the victim can be appeased. Quiet and a win-win-win."
The coffee now completely drained, she watched you think it over while staring blankly at the space in which you needed to sign your name. Inhaling deeply, she leaned over, gently prying it from you and flipping the page. "This bit, very important. Sort of like an NDA. No, maybe... an ANS. Agreement Not to Sue. But less official."
"This looks more like summat he should be signing. Basically, since I'm not a licensed therapist, if he doesn't get better, or gets more fucked, the Uni isn't to blame?"
"You need to sign it, too. You'll have to record the sessions, as well."
"So you know I'm not 'half-arsing' it?"
"So we know he's coming to them. But yeah. That too.", she smiled, tilting her head. "You in?"
Well, yeah, you kind of had to be, seeing as she cut marks for your absences out of sheer fucking spite.
You nodded and so did she. "Brilliant! Sign here."
Scrawling your sign - that you came up with in the eighth grade instead of fucking having fun like a kid - on the blank spots her manicured nail hovered over, you bit the inside of your cheek. Was it weird that they weren't telling you who it was?
Was it weird that the sheet had been blank when it was brought to you, meaning whoever this bloke was, he had no clue what was coming?
Uh huh. Yeah.
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"A student?! A first year fucking student? I'm getting a kid-shrink?"
"It's a mere formality. Given your record, we're sure you don't even require these sessions--"
"Professor! Come on! Can't we just say I took them?"
It's quite interesting how chill a philosophy professor can actually be once you get to know them personally. And Walker was cool, as Felix had come to find out in the past couple days of knowing him.
"Afraid not. But I'm sure she's been adequately trained by the psychology in-charge to handle these sessions."
"Why can't the in-charge do it? Would actually do summat!"
"She's busy."
He scoffed as he was handed a stapled stack of papers. "What's this, then?"
"Read it."
He did, for a while, before looking up at him with raised eyebrows. "What is this, a Liability Waiver for if she bollockses my mental health by accident?"
"More or less."
Sweet lord. "Oh, fantastic, so I'm a scapegoat, a trial for this first year, am I? See if counselling is her 'thing'?"
"You know, a more positive attitude towards this, and you might not have to go the whole year.'
"What, sayin' she'll give up?"
Walker looked almost amused, snorting. "No. I'm saying you might actually get a solution for your rage issues."
"I don't have--'
"You could learn a thing or two, Felix. Learn to calm your temper - no matter how non-existent you claim it to be - and learn how to be happier."
"Brilliant. A first year is going to teach me about the joys of non-reactivity, then? Brilliant. We'll see her keep her temper when a girl's being near groped in front of her, hm?"
"We'll need to have you sign there and there and twice on the last page, please."
"She got this before me?", he muttered, glaring at the signatures already present on the pages. "So she got to decide whether she wants to deal with me, not the other way around!? Unbelievable."
"Sign, please, Felix."
He grumbled under his breath, attempting to recall whether he'd ever even heard your name before, as he messily signed something that was probably not his signature, on each page. He has no clue what his signature is. He figured he'd sort it out when he takes over the family estate (or business), or whatever.
"None of these look the same."
"Well, this is hardly official is it? 'S long as my name's there, it's not a problem, yeah?"
"You're gonna give me a migraine before my first week as your student advisor.", he muttered, accepting the sheets back anyway. "Okay, good. Sessions start Saturday."
Fucking spectacular, now this girl was taking his weekends away.
WEEK 1
Your pen twirled between your fingers and the inside of your cheek practically split open with how frequently you'd been resorting to chewing on it lately.
You'd passed the solo quiz that your professor had set up for you, and she'd declared you 'adequately trained' to take these sessions.
Okay? And? What, were you supposed to jump in joy?
Late. This arsehole, 'Felix Catton' was his name. You just... try as you might, you couldn't place a face to the familiar name. And that face was almost ten minutes late.
But one thing you would not do is get up and leave until the hour was up. Work ethic. Wait till the last moment. With any luck, he wouldn't show up at all, and you could complain, and get extra credit some other way--
The door exploded open, and shuffling, throwing-off of a coat and grumbled-settling-down was heard, as you looked up from your notes.
"You're the first year, then?"
Oh, THIS GUY?! Whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah, you remembered him!
You nodded. "Yes. Uh, just a second, Mr. Catton.", you muttered, angling the video camera right, ignoring the scoff it elicited from the junior.
"I'm two years older than you."
"What would you like me to call you?" That plug from the Christmas party who tried to overcharge me?
He watched you fiddling with the device for a bit before sitting up, one leg crossed over another as he huffed, playing with his rings. "Felix is fine."
"Felix it is, then.", you mumbled, finally getting the thing to work, before clearing your throat and sitting up. Here we go. "So, Felix.", you began, trying to smile off the awkwardness. "We're here to just go through these Uni-mandated sessions, so that you may have an insight into conflict resolution and--"
"Do you wanna know why I'm here in this bloody session?"
You glanced over to the camera for a second, feeling like you were in a fucking Office episode, before nodding, gesturing at him to continue. Fuck, if this shite went on the record and he said summat so unbelievably stupid you were at a loss for words, you could kiss your extra credit goodbye.
"I punched a lad. Hard, till his nose bled and he couldn't stand up without support."
You nodded, flicking through the file of information you'd received from some advisor of his, Professor Walker. Nice chap. "Yes, I see that. How does that make you feel? Did it make you feel powerful?"
"Mhm.", he hummed, nodding as he glared at you, a sort of smirk on his face, like he thought this would have you freaking out about his sadistic tendencies. It's funny he thought you cared.
"Happy?'
"Very."
"I see. But one thing that's conveniently missing from your file.", you replied, eyes flicking accusatorily to the camera before reaching his eyes once more. "Is why you did it.", you stated, your fingers intertwining as you looked at him with rapt attention.
This seemed to throw him for a loop, the self-satisfied grin fading for a moment.
"Why'd you want to know, sweetheart? So that you can record me confessing to the crime on tape?", he mused, gesturing at the camera before reclining back in his seat, his arms crossed. "Because I'm sorry to disappoint your wide-eyed, freshman dreams, but I've already said it, on the record."
You frowned, tilting your head softly for a moment. "No, I'm asking, because I truly don't know. They wouldn't give me your identity, let alone your case."
"Well, I hit a lad. For cat-calling a girl."
He observed your face almost twitch for a moment, and he figured you were about to throw the camera at him, but instead, you switched it off. "And they're punishing you for it?", you asked, leaning your forearms in front of him, basically whispering although the camera was off.
Huh. Whoa, maybe you were on his side.
"Yeah, isn't it mental?", he scoffed, leaning in, too. "I figured I should get some sort of medal, y'know? Maybe a commendation from the dean."
"I wouldn't go that far, but it's good, what you did.", you laughed, softly.
"Exactly!", he huffed, a genuine smile now on his face as he leaned back, rubbing his hands over his jaw. "Wow. I- sorry, love, but I didn't expect us to, like, agree."
"No, no, yeah, totally! I thought you were a hotheaded twat. I didn't expect...", you exclaimed, gesturing at him. "Reason."
"Right. Well, okay, great! Uh, phew, yeah?"
You nodded.
"So, yeah, this is cool. We'll just... you'll take care of it, won't ya? Thanks, you're a peach.", he grinned, standing up and not believing his bloody luck!
"Hey, hey, where are you going?"
Turning, he frowned. "Well, we agree. So you'll talk to your in-charge, and say I don't need it, yeah? Oh, oh, you want me to stay the hour so you can, like, log it in. Yeah, yeah, got it.", he mumbled, nodding eagerly.
"What? No." He was, uh... clearly not on the same page as you.
His smile faded slowly. "What?"
"We've got weeks left of this."
"Yeah, but. Wait, I thought you agreed with me."
"I do. It's bonkers to punish you, but, it's mandatory, so."
"'So'? So, go do summat about it, then!", he cried, gesturing at nothing in particular. "Tell 'em there's nothing to work on!"
"I'm not just going to--"
"WHY?!"
You almost flinched. God. Maybe he did have anger issues.
"WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?!"
Oh, oh-- uh oh. He didn't even know why you were doing it, and you were sure he'd blow five gaskets if he did.
"Just finish it, stop causing unecessary problems!"
"No, seriously! What's in it for you?"
"SIT DOWN!"
For some reason, that, he listened to.
He slumped down.
"Shut up and do what you were instructed to do." Lord knows where you'd got the balls to talk to a junior like that.
Reaching over to turn the camera back on, you began again. "What would you like me to call you?", you repeated.
"How about I call you something and we can workshop sm'n out for me later?", he grumbled under his breath.
"Sorry? You weren't audible. What was that?"
"Nothing. Felix."
"Felix.", you echoed, nodding. "We're here to just go through these Uni-mandated sessions, so that you may have an insight into conflict resolution and live an overall, controlled and more fulfilling life and have a more fruitful experience here at Oxford.", you read off the script, jaw clenched, mirroring his dirty look.
"Yes, I'm aware, thank you, freshie."
"I'd like it if you adressed me by my name. You already know it from the sign-up form for the sessions, but I am happy to repeat it if you wish.'
"Sign-up form?", he scoffed, looking directly at the camera. "Is that what they're calling it on the record?"
"That is what it is."
"Sweet Lord, it's a Liabil-- hey.", he grimaced, narrowing his eyes at you as you kneed him from under the table.
"Right. Y/N. Am I supposed to call you 'Doctor', too, freshie?"
"Just my name is fine."
He rolled his eyes, his hands fiddling with his rings. "Let's begin with your recount of the incident."
How many bloody times?! He was about to explode.
~~
You ended the session at exactly one hour, because you couldn't take this moron anymore, for fuck's sake.
He didn't object.
Shutting off the camera, you wordlessly packed up your things, stuffing them into your bag.
"Are they payin' ya?"
You snorted, zipping up your bag before slinging it over your shoulder. "No."
"Fuckin' snake."
"How am I a snake, Felix?", you sighed, tapping an impatient foot on the floor.
"Pretending you're on my side and that. Was that just to get information for the therapy part of it? Because that was a bitch move."
"What? No, I genuinely think it's odd that they're punishing you for something like this."
"Then why?! What could they possibly offer a fresher? They wouldn't increase your scholarship for shite this petty, so-- wait. EXTRA CREDIT?!", he gasped, standing up startlingly quick. "You're doin' this for a couple points of extra credit ?! WHAT?!"
"So what if I am?", you asked, schooling your face and your voice to be the picture of calm. "Either way, these sessions are mandated if you don't want this to escalate. It'll be over before you know it."
"EXTRA CREDIT?!", he practically shrieked, as he followed you out the door. "How bloody pathetic! You're going against what you know is right for extra bloody credit?! Just fucking study!"
"It'll be over before you know it, Felix."
"For the rest of the academic year, I have to come to you every Saturday and listen to you blabbering on about how to 'take deep breaths and count to ten'.", he scoffed, incredulously, easily overtaking you and obstructing your path in more ways than one.
"Doesn't always have to be a Saturday."
Oh, he was about to actually get anger issues.
"This pisses you off, too! Come on, admit it, fresher! You don't like this any more than I do!", he declared, crossing his arms defiantly.
You sort of liked pissing him off. Gave you much more to work with, sadistically. Reaching into your bag, you handed him the tiny blue journal you'd bought. "Here."
"What is this?"
"It's for noting down your feelings. You will have to fill at least one page every day and bring it back to me during our sessions."
He gaped incredulously at you as you shouldered past him. You're giving him homework?!
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WEEK 5
"You're not taking off your helmet?"
"No. Bothers you?"
You glanced at the camera for a second, before shaking your head, the corners of your lips turned down in feigned and exaggerated indifference. "No."
"Because I'll keep it on, mud and all. I fell on the way here."
"You fell?"
"Yeah. Helmet's now my coping mechanism. Calms me, y'know?" That made no bloody sense!
"So you're keeping it on."
'You wouldn't deny me my coping mechanism, would you, Y/N?"
You sucked on your teeth, shaking your head once more. Dirt on the desk, dirt on your laptop, dirt-- FUCK!
"No, it's alright."
He grinned slyly, nodding, before sliding the journal over to you. "I filled it."
"Entirely?" It's only Week 5, what the hell?
"Yes, actually. I'm an overachiever."
You raised a brow, taking it from him and placing it next to his file.
"So. How are we doing today?", you asked, once again intertwining your fingers and placing them on the desk as you leaned closer to the imbecile.
"You're not readin' it?"
Oh, please, like you had no clue what was in there. "No, actually, I've got to directly submit this to both your advisor and my in-charge."
"What?"
"Yeah, protocol. That's why I said to take it one week at a time so we can monitor progress, but it seems you're an 'overachiever' - your words, not mine."
"Can I have it back?" His tone was almost nervous, and you were now even more certain what he'd actually bloody written in there.
You almost smirked before you remembered the presence of the camera. "You want it back, Felix?"
"Yeah, I think I, uh, used a couple of profanities."
"That's alright, I'm sure they'll understand."
"Can I please have it back?"
You shrugged, holding it out for him to take, letting him tug on it for a moment before you released it from your grasp. "Would you like another one? Since you've filled this one?"
"I'll buy my own."
"Very well. I ask again, how are you doing today?"
He huffed, momentarily looking like he was actually prepared to answer honestly. "Great."
"Great.", you echoed, your pen twirling between your fingers. "And define 'great' to you."
"Not shite.", he said through gritted teeth.
"In more elaborate, less crude terms, please, Mr. Felix.'
"I am doing well today. Not bad.", he mumbled, playing with the buckle of the helmet he'd so adamantly kept on that was now seeming a bit too bloody tight. But he couldn't take it off. Not when it was clearly bothering you. "Nothing particularly terrible or triggering has occurred."
"And is that always the standard you measure your experiences on? 'Not bad'? If nothing 'terrible or triggering' has happened, it's a 'great' day?", you asked offhandedly, noting it down. 'Not shite'.
His eyes darted up to you. "What?"
"I said, is that always the stand--"
"No, I heard you. Just... isn't that what everyone does?"
"Do you think it is? Do you think it's what everyone does? Have any of your friends told you it is what they do?"
"What do you do?"
"Me?" Were you allowed to answer this? Is that against some therapist rule? You weren't sure, and you couldn't really ask your textbook right now, could you?
He nodded, mildly intrigued.
"Personally, for me to count a day as 'great', there should be an equal balance of absence of bad things and presence of good things."
"Well, then, I fell off my bike, but I did well on a test. Is that, in your books, a 'great' day?"
"Depends. Which do you weigh more? Is falling off a bike worse than getting a bad grade, or is getting a good grade better than staying upright on a bike?"
"Getting a good grade."
"Well, then, I suppose, there's your answer."
Huh. This was an odd perspective he's never exactly... heard before. Wait, no! This shite is not working, fuck off, fresher!
"Whatever."
"Whatever indeed.", you nodded. "You seem to have a better attitude this week, to the session." He did not. But it would piss him off if he thought that you thought this was working.
"I do not."
"Oh, well, then, pardon me, my mistake. So, tell me. Why do you think it is, that you're not particularly interested in these sessions?"
"Because I don't have anger issues. If a bloke catcalls a girl once, it's whatever - still bad - but whatever. Happens. But if he keeps doin' it, almost roofies her at a party and constantly tailing her, and then tryin' to score in a fucking library, just because she can't yell out at him, that's, like... creep behaviour!"
You nodded. "Yes, you mentioned this, in the first session, and also to your student advisor, it seems.", you replied, tapping the tip of your pen at the bit of the file that mirrored what he was saying.
"And you think that that's a therapy-worthy answer."
"Why do you not think you're going to get anything out of these sessions, Felix? Even without anger issues, per se, everyone could use some guidance in controlling their emotions and resolving conflict peacefully, wouldn't you agree?"
"No, I would not agree. I think that if you're being an absolute prick , then no amount of peaceful talking is going to do anything. You need to get physical. Teach a lesson."
"I see. And you know this works because...?"
"Because he's shut up, hasn't he?"
"Right, but maybe he's still doing it. Perhaps not to that particular girl, but how do you know for sure you've 'taught him a lesson'?"
"Because- well.", he muttered. Shut up, fresher! "He's not that daft! He wouldn't risk another beating!"
"If he's daft enough to do it three times even after she expressed disinterest, Felix, I'm sure he might be 'daft' enough to 'risk another beating'."
He tsked, taking off the bloody tight fucking helmet, and running his hands through his hair. You watched the brown spill through the gaps of his fingers, before your eyes came back to his face. "You're frustrated?"
"Yes, I'm frustrated."
"What do you usually do, when you're frustrated?"
"Certainly not sit in a room with a fresher and 'talk about it'!"
"Right, I suppose you don't.", you replied, smiling. "So what is it you do?"
"I dunno, smoke?"
"Smoke?", you asked, tilting your head, noting it down. "You smoke?"
"Yeah, I smoke. What, you going to turn this into a cancer-awareness session?"
"I'm simply trying to understand you, Felix."
"What is this, like a first date, you learn shite about me, and see if I'm worth anything in your eyes?", he scoffed.
"Would that make it easier to open up?"
"No! God! What high school did you go to? Idiot."
"Oh, so we are going with the first date thing?"
"No- I- you're so stupid! I don't actually care what high school you went to! It was rhetoric!"
His outburst, oddly, was not followed by a calm and infuriating retort, in fact, you just looked back at him, disappointed, it looked like. But that was impossible, because that would mean you gave a crap, which, you couldn't. You did this for extra credit like a fuckin' try-hard, right?
The silence almost devours him whole as he looks into your eyes - why were they so... he didn't even know, that look you were giving him just... freaked him out.
"Time's up. You can leave."
What?! No, no, no, he just got here.
"Already?"
He heard the video camera shut off. "Time flies when you're actually working with me, Felix, y'know?"
"Don't get used to it, I had a shit day.'
You chuckled softly, nodding. "I won't. Have a nice rest o' your weekend, Catton."
WEEK 10
"Hello again, Felix."
"Hi."
"You seem cheery today."
"Yes, actually. I went out last night. Downed a couple pints with the lads. It was fun."
"I'm glad you had fun."
He nodded, pursing his lips as he rocked back and forth, awkwardly.
"Yes, so. If you don't mind, I'd just like to go back to some things that were left unfinished in some of the previous sessions. Let's circle back to your mention of what you do when you're frustrated. Smoke. Anything else?"
He sighed, rubbing his temple as he looked up at you. 'No. Well, if you're talking about last night, uh, drink, yeah, sometimes, but never to change my mood or whatever."
"I see. So that's all you do, when frustrated?"
"Yeah. Smoke."
"How about this. Next time you feel frustrated, instead of picking up a pack of cigarettes, pick up a pen."
"What, write down my feelings like a thirteen year old girl?"
"No, draw. On paper, on a desk, on your hand, who cares? Draw."
"Draw?"
"Yeah. It's worked for me, and you seem to be responding slightly better when I give you real life examples of what's worked and not worked for me, so."
"What, the bike thing from Session 5?! Because I-- Oh, please, you're not that bloody smart! Anyone could've said that, doesn't mean I'm 'responding better' just because you said it worked for you, you're a fuckin' fresher, everything you read in your stupid little psych textbooks would work for you!", he snapped. He didn't even know what half of that meant. He just wanted to say something.
"See, it seems that this is more what you do when you're frustrated, Felix, per my observation. You're free to correct me if I'm wrong, but since our previous sessions, this sort of insulting defensiveness is what I feel you resort to."
"'M not defensive. I just think this is pointless."
"Yes, you've made that quite apparent."
"Well, then how about you just declare me fixed?"
"It's not about declaring you, alright, it's about finishing the minimum duration provided to us by the University."
"Fine."
Silence. "So. I ask again. Why not draw?"
"Fine, I'll draw."
"Alright. Thank you, Felix. Time's up."
"What?!"
"Just kidding. You've only been here five minutes. How about... and humour me here...", you muttered, reaching under the desk and groping around until you pull out two sketchbooks. "We draw right now?"
"What, and then you analyse how fucked I am in the head?"
"Or we just draw. We don't even have to talk.", you replied, handing him the sketchbook. God, this better work. You'd had to draw info from child psych books for this guy.
~~
It took barely five minutes for him to begin talking again.
"What are these pencils?"
"Don't ask me, they're all Oxford-provided."
"What a joke. You know, when I was a fresher, I didn't even let myself think of borrowing anything from Uni, I got all my own shite, and even if I lost it, I'd ask it to be sent over from home."
"Really?" Fucking rich boy cunt.
"Mhm.", he hummed, the scratches of his incessant scribbling almost grating in the silent room, but also comfortable, somehow, blending in with the smooth swish sounds of your own, lazy strokes. "Only the best. Can't afford mistakes, can I?"
Can't afford? You'd researched him enough to know that little existed of the sort for him.
"I suppose you can't."
"Y'know, I fucking lost my shite third week of freshman year. How about you?"
"I'm handling it okay, thanks for asking." You were, in fact, not. Your assignments were all overdue by now, and you were having to pull all-nighters that bled steadily into mornings because of this new extra-credit task you'd taken on, and to top it all off, none of the other Professors seemed to care that the Uni was milking the two of you. Abusing your need to improve your grade - although you shouldn't fucking need it -and subjecting him to these sessions with none of his own volition.
"That's good to hear. How close are you to offing yourself, then?", he mused, raising a brow and licking the back of his molars as his eyes slowly reached yours. Fuck. He was onto you.
You tsked, reaching over and shutting off the camera. "You know I have better things to do than edit this to cut out your little quips, right? I really can't have you talking about offin' yourself."
"Oh, so you're also a drown-in-alcohol kind of person, I see."
What in the everloving fuck-- "God, get a fuckin' life, mate.", you muttered, reaching back up to switch the camera on after silently glaring and counting down from three.
"I'm handling it okay, thanks for asking.", you repeated.
"Huh. Really?"
"Yes. Why, is your school year not going okay?"
"No, it's going spectacular. My parents pay for an afternoon to go off once a week for a useless fresher to tell their son to meditate."
You chose not to respond to that, instead pursing your lips and continuing to draw. A flower, it seemed, your hands wished to create.
"Why do you even need extra credit?"
"I was sick, and I missed a couple classes."
"Oh, and you flunked the tests?", he asked, reaching over to grab your pencil out of your hands and use the eraser on the back of it, before tossing it back to you. Prick, and if that smirk was any indication, smug prick.
"No, actually, I'd already finished a good chunk of the syllabus content my first couple weeks so I did fine in my tests."
"So why?"
He looked genuinely curious. So genuinely curious, that you actually felt like this was a first date and he was an annoyingly inquisitive romantic candidate.
"She just didn't like the absences." Plus, everyone else just took Psych to slack off.
"That's not fair."
"Yeah, well, you beat up a creep for a girl and they're punishing you, so."
His eyes flicked over to the camera momentarily. "That's on the record."
"It should be."
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Normalcy is hard to achieve because it's never truly been attained.
Now, this kind of knowledge is only acquired when you take a philosophy class - like you - but since Felix was a PolSci-stuck-up-arsehole, it really didn't strike him that the life he'd lived before you had neither been normal nor happy.
Which is why when he found you and a couple of your friends hanging out by the lawn of a frat party, passing around a spliff, he just couldn't resist.
"Is this your coping mechanism, then?"
He reveled in the groan you replied with.
"Ladies, if you could excuse us?"
You rolled your eyes as all your mates nodded slyly before scrambling up. With hungry and suggestive looks at him and then you, they waved subtly. Spectacular. They already thought you were hooking up and now... fuck.
"Ah. I think we're gonna need that, if you will.", he called, winking as he grabbed the spliff from one of them, before settling down next to you. "See? I'm a celebrity. You should bring that up next time, see if you can't do anything with it."
"What?"
"Like, ask me about that. Incorporate it. 'How's it feel, Felix, being the life of the party, and the apple of everyone's eye?'"
"Incorp-- do you think this is a game? Like this is a play?!"
"Well, yeah. It's basicall--"
"GOD, you absolute prick! I'm here freakin' out about the syllabus, tests, and stayin' up to analyse and collate your bullshit and I have to submit it and study resources for it and--", you paused, catching your breath and glaring at him before taking a hit to calm your nerves. "And you think it's a story, like an improv session, where we add off each other.", you mumbled the last bit out.
"What are you, burnt-out from this shite?"
You didn't respond and he watched the smoke flow above the two of you. "God. You are. What sort of a freshman's burnt out by second term?"
"The kind that has to be a shrink to some anger-issued arsehole."
"Hey, c'mon, you-", he huffed, tilting his head at you. "You don't have to put too much effort into this, it's a formality."
"To you!", you yelled, sitting up in frustration, your elbow on your knee and your blunt in your fingers.
He sat up, too, sighing. "I'm sorry. For what it's worth."
"Worth nothing."
"Yeah, I can tell.", he muttered, hiding a scoff. "Gimme."
You rolled your eyes, but handed him the spliff nevertheless, which he grumbled as he took a drag of. Knees elevated to his chest, he exhaled the smoke. "This is good. Is it American?'
"How should I know?"
"You don't care what sort of weed you smoke? This actually is one of your coping methods?"
"For the love of-- lay off, man!"
"Whoa, whoa, it's a joke!"
"You're a joke!"
He almost laughed at that. Almost, because he'd had quite fucking enough of you. He didn't forget who he was just because you might have changed his perspective a little. He was still Felix motherfucking Catton, a motherfucking Upperclassman. And when he was a fresher, he had to treat his Upperclassmen with utmost respect- no, reverence - so he'll be damned if he's gonna let you sit here and call him a joke.
"Stand up."
"What?"
"Stand up."
"Why?"
"NOW, FRESHER, NOW!" Okay, the startle in your body language made him feel the tiniest bit bad, but still, it was exactly what had been done to him, and he wasn't all whiny about it.
"Okay, okay, I'm up, I'm up!", you mumbled, straightening out your shirt. "What?"
He had no clue what he wanted you to stand up for.
"So. The reason I had you shoot up..."
Think, Felix! Think!
"...Is actually quite simple, really. I'm sure you've already guessed."
"You want to get my mind off it or summat."
Sure. "Good. You're smart. And how will I be doing that?"
You shrugged. "Take me on a joyride on your stupid bicycle or summat.", you grumbled.
Sure. Let's go with that. Better than Felix's idea of making you do jumping jacks, like his seniors had done to him.
"Wow, maybe shrinks really can read minds. And at least you have one of your own.", he replied, flicking your forehead as he shepherded you over to the exit of the party. Yeah, he didn't think through how far you'd have to walk before you actually reached his bike. Oh, well. Better for him.
"So.", he began, arms swinging exaggeratedly at his side. "Have you heard anything from your in-charge yet? Walker won't tell me anything."
You shook your head. "It's all the same. 'Received tapes. Good work. Keep going.' Like I'm bloody angling for a gold star."
"Well, you're angling for the college equivalent of a gold star, which is a smidge of extra credit."
Shrugging, you seemed to agree. It was a pleasant sort of... stoned sort of quiet for the rest of the walk until his bike came into view. "There it is."
"That's the bike you fell off of after you aced your test?"
"Yeah."
"How?", you scoffed, buckling up the little helmet he offered you "Thing looks brand new."
"What, you were expecting some post-war, ancient bike?", he snorted, clambering onto the seat.
"Yeah, I thought it'd be some rusty, squeaky, rickety thing. How's this supposed to work? Where do I sit?"
"On your own bike's seat.", he replied, gesturing to the rest of the bicycle lot.
"I don't have a bloody bicycle! I'm normal! I walk to classes!"
"How close is your dorm?!"
"Quite."
"Well...", he huffed, taking off his helmet. 'Well, okay, so, just... take one."
"Take one?"
"Like... a random one. Borrow an unlocked one."
"Steal, you mean."
"Semantics."
"I'm not stealing."
He groaned. He had way too much of a heart to punish you like his seniors did.
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"Could you slow down?!"
He watched you grumble before you slowed down, allowing him to jog up next to you. "I'm going to hold onto the handlebar because I wouldn't put it past you to steal my bike and then ask me 'how did that make you feel?' in the next session."
You actually had to stop the bike to laugh for that one.
"Oh, she acts human.", he remarked, crossing his arms across his chest as he regarded you. "Alright, it's not... that funny."
But you just didn't stop laughing.
Well, until you started crying.
Maybe that weed was laced. Yeah, he was feelin' a bit off, himself. Shit.
"I mean, fuck, Felix, mate, you- you know I don't think you should be antagonized like this, yeah? You're... you, you're good, you- you helped a girl, and your anger issues are good!"
Okay, clearly the laced weed was hitting you both at the same time, somehow. Either it was causing him to mishear some sympathy from your end or causing you to express sympathy. Either way, somehow, you were both oddly on the same page.
"I don't have anger-bloody-issues.", he gritted out, tapping his fingers impatiently on the handlebar.
"No, mate, you do, but, like, they're good, you don't have to get all touchy about it. I like it, personally. Think it's good. You're stickin' it to the man and all that."
He scoffed as he shifted closer, flicking your - well, his - helmet back a bit. "You're on thin ice, 'mate'! I told you, I don't have anger iss--"
"You're yellin' at me right now!"
"I'm NOT--", he cut himself off, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "You're pissin' me off."
"Everything pisses you off! That's why they're called anger issues!', you retorted, and he swore he was close to pushing you off the bike and seeing how many minutes of meditation you'd employ not to uppercut him.
"I don't need your shrink bullshit, and you can't do it anyway! I don't get how you're burnt out, y'know? You half-arse everything!"
He barely knew you outside of these sessions. He was straight up lying, but he wanted to prove that it wasn't that easy to keep your calm when provoked. Especially not by some smart aleck swot-freshman who thinks her psych major means she can read his mind and give him lip.
Ow ow, ow. Fuck. He needed to sit. down. The 'weed' was definitely about to make him pop a blood vessel, because did he just see three stars in the sky run down in front of him? No. Can't be, yeah?
"D'you think...?", you groaned, hastily removing the helmet. "D'you think there was summat in the punch?"
"Think it was the weed."
"Weed doesn't-- oh."
He nodded, gently steering the bicycle to the nearest bench, which was barely a hundred paces away, observing your feet elevated and the pedals rotating on their own as he tugged it along.
Grunting lowly as he sat, he held out a hand for you after you leant the bicycle against a nearby streetlamp. You slumped down next to him. "This is why I don't take Donna's weed, but she swore it was clean."
"Some friend she is."
"Hey."
"Oh, please, come on. She lies to you, gives you laced weed because, what, she thought she knew best on what would calm you down? That's not what a friend does."
"What does a friend do? Take you on bicycle rides across campus?"
"I mean, sure. Why not?", he asked, gesturing around. "It's fresh air, yeah? We had some talkin' happening, as well, sorted out our differences and that, yeah?"
You chuckled, softly, shaking (and lightly clutching) your head. "And what did we sort out?"
"That you're a bit of a cunt. And I'm a twat."
"Second one is accurate."
"That statement just proved the first one.", he retorted, before scoffing and breaking into a fit of breathy giggles. "Fuck."
You watched the world spin for a while, a dizzying amalgamation of shapes and stars and colours and suddenly you were aware of the clothes on your body, the wind in your hair, the saliva on your tongue, the beat of your heart.
And that's when you did it. You weren't sure what you expected or why you did it, but you just ended up kissing him like it was summat you were meant to do next, like a script. Like clockwork.
He, to say the least, was surpised it was you who initiated it. Honestly. He'd always been a very daft person when it came to... well, boundaries, for one. Sane actions, for the other. However, there was something less daft and more... crazed about this drug-induced haze you were clouded in that rendered his self-awareness moot.
And so he kissed back.
Ravenously.
This, it seemed, according to the faux marijuana, was all he ever fucking needed. Poof, no anger issues. And for you? Poof, no stress.
It was wrong, to say the least. Not due to anything besides the fact that there was no logical person who'd put you two together. He groaned softly, almost reverently, as he gripped a couple locks of your hair, a wordless direction for you to get your idiotic arse over here. And you did. The kiss didn't break. You guys should get an award for that impressive feat.
But the real award should be for your desperate, bruising grip to sobriety, the one that eventually led to you pulling yourself away from his lips, breathlessly.
"I know what you're doing."
He wasn't one for biting his lip, so he bit down on yours, instead. "Yeah? What's that, babe?", he asked, fiddling with the button of your jeans.
"You're tryin' to get off the hook of these sessions by claiming conflict of interest 'cause of this."
Oh, fuck, he hadn't even thought of that. Would've been so fuckin' smart, and plus, he'd have got a lay out of it. But he didn't exactly feel like giving a premature end to these sessions that he'd - never fucking admit - grown sort of fond of.
"Or maybe, I'm trying to get off, period.", he whispered, kissing at your cheek.
"Yeah, right."
"Trust issues much?", he murmured, his hand gently sliding into the front of your jeans. "Maybe next session, we should work on that, sweetheart."
Fuck.
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No one ever tells you this - lest you experience some form of joy in life - but waking up to good smells rather than any form of sound is heaps better, calmer, lovelier.
And you woke up, not to the sound of your alarm, but to the smell of goddamn butter and toast. Like, fuck, okay. Damn. This is what life should feel like, then?
You groaned, almost ready to scream at how at peace you were, before getting out of bed, rubbing your face. You shot right back in, though. Right. You were starkers.
"Felix?!"
God, you hoped it was actually him and you hadn't had some sort of adventure after him last night.
He practically left skid marks, the way he rushed to the bedroom doorway. "Uh huh?"
"Where the fuck are my clothes?"
"Oh, I put them in the wash."
"Felix--"
"Just kidding. They're in that drawer, there." Across the room.
"Could you get them for me?"
He smirked. 'Yeah."
"'Yeah' as in you will, or 'yeah' as in you could, but you won't?"
His smirk dissolved into an almost fond simper. "You know me so well."
"I'm not walkin' out naked."
"See, what is it with you girls, gosh! As if I didn't see everything last night, now you're suddenly all coy?", he teased, yanking the drawer open and tossing you your clothes, rolling his eyes before turning around so you could change. "Last night count as a breach of, uh, what is it...?"
"Not breach. But Conflict of Interest. Yeah. So, I'm guessing you're free, now. No more sessions."
"Mm. Shame, that. I had some really interesting things written in there.", he replied, pointing to a blue notebook on the bedside table.
"Like what?"
"Like... me realising I'm falling in love with you.", he whispered, softly, hand on his heart. He paused long enough for you to begin to question whether this was dedication to his joke or an actual, sincere fuckin' confession.
"Fuck! Wow! Gullible much? I'm joking, obviously! What, you think I'd have some, like, ten lines written every day, like 'Oh, my love, oh, my love, XOXO, Felix!', or summat?"
"Well, I don't bloody know! Your'e scarily good at the poker face, y'know?"
"Why, thank you, thank you very much.", he preened, tipping an invisible hat in your direction.
"Makin' French Toast. You vegetarian? Or vegan? Nah, I don't care, you're eatin' this."
Groaning, you got up, took his offer of an unused toothbrush, and let him escort you to the bathroom. "These rich-kid-dorm-suites, I swear--"
"Jealous much?"
"I swear to fucking god, you better stop saying 'much' after everything and thinkin' it's funny!"
"Anger issues much?"
"Arsehole much?!"
He giggled, waving at you before scrambling over to the kitchen to make sure his French toast was stil intact. Not before he grabbed your imaginary 'flipping-off' from the air and brought it to his heart, as if you'd blown him a kiss, instead.
Fucking hell. You had to now spend a. money, on Ibuprofen, b. time on coming up with an explanation as to how this happened and why you still deserve than extra credit, and c. energy on having to deal with this Felix Catton guy who you'd apparently come to be relatively fond of.
Spitting out your paste and gargling the remnants out, you walked out of the bedroom to the kitchen, where Felix had laid out the toast on crappy paper plates. "Left over from a party, figured I'd use 'em."
"Thanks.", you nodded, sitting down and biting a bit off one. "It's good."
"Thanks.", he parroted, dropping the last onto his plate before turning off the stove and sitting opposite you. "So, it just violates it all? Just 'cause we shagged, you can't 'fix me' anymore?", he asked, gulping down a sip of orange juice.
"Yeah, summat like that. I might, like, be more inclined to let you off the hook or whatever."
"Mm. What about your extra credit, then? Why don't you just act like this never happened?"
"Couldn't. In good conscience."
"But then you'll be extremely stressed. Might go back to Donna and her laced weed.", he pointed out, taking a bite. "Over the summer, you'll have to catch up on your missing assignments, yeah?"
"Yeah. Fuck. Oh, yeah, I do.", you whined, your forehead on the heel of your palm.
"Come to Saltburn, then."
"What?" What was he talking about?
"My family estate. Come to Saltburn. It's a change of scenery, and it works wonders, I swear. You'll finish everything by first week of summer vacation, and the next month or so, it's all just you-time."
"Why would I come to Saltburn?"
"I just told you."
You sighed. Logically, yes, it did make sense for a change of view. But. You didn't exactly want to get dragged into whatever a normal day for Felix Catton (and Farleigh Start - his cousin, apparently!) looked like.
"It's full of old shite, though, like, ancient stuff. Cobwebs, dusty, grimy, stuffy-- hey! Stuffy and boring. You'll fit right in.", he grinned cheekily, winking as he continued to chew.
Well, fuck.
"Suspicious much?"
'Much'. You were going to strangle this guy in his own mansion, you're sure.
"Seriously, think about it, just us, ice-cream, the sea, summer. Who knows, you could go in a loser and come out with a boyfriend. Moi."
"Oh, please.", you snickered, and he followed suit.
"I just might tell you what's in that diary. XOXO, Felix, yeah, but what'd I write before it? A confession of my love? A death threat? A riddle? Poetry? Secrets?", he mused, waggling his fingers as if to spook you. "Ooh."
You scoffed, shaking your head in amusement as you took a sip of the orange juice.
"Come on. Come to Saltburn. Worth your while, I promise."
Well, fuck.
41 notes · View notes
anyamaris · 2 days ago
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Title: Requited
Summary: A series of events lead to you having the worst day, and it doesn't help that it's Valentines Day. Your ex, who also happens to be your best friend even after your breakup showing up doesn't help the emotional turmoil inside of you.
Word Count: 2271
Pairing: Ex!BFF!Seonghwa x F!Reader
Trope: Exes to lovers/Fluff/Angst
Rating- T for teen/16+
Warnings: Vulgarity, some angsty thoughts and crying, allusion to previous intimacy as well as possibly bathing together, nothing explicit.
A/N: Well since Hwa is my ex bias, this seemed like a fun idea-thank you to @sanjoongie for suffering with me in regards to Seonghwa. You really helped me bring this to life for Valentines 🤍
Much love to @pars-ley for the GORGEOUS banner and you did it last minute (I told her last night and she delivered perfection!)
As always, so much love to @cafekitsune for the dividers, always supporting us writers 💜
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“Ugh, why is this all here?!” 
You yank out the box from the back of the closet, letting out a frustrated sigh as you turn to set it down on the floor.
Your sleeve catches on a hanger and the small box tumbles from your arms, spilling everything inside.
“Goddamnit…” you huff, running your palm over your forehead to push back the errant hairs sticking out everywhere.
You close your eyes for a moment, trying to calm yourself before kneeling to start picking up the mess.
It has been a long ass week and all you really wanted to do was guzzle down a bottle of wine and soak in a long, hot bath.
Ahh…a bubble bath, you think, then curse as intrusive thoughts fill your mind.
It’s been over half a year since you and your ex broke up, but it has been amicable.
The positives of dating your best friend and roommate, you think.
Well….ex boyfriend AND ex roommate.
Luckily, best friend was still ongoing.
Unfortunately, today was Valentine's day and you can’t stop yourself from the memory of last year with Seonghwa.
Today the loss of your relationship seems to be creeping in to taunt you from every angle.  
“Get out of my head, Stupid Seonghwa.” you mutter, finally stuffing the last of his random shit into the box.  
Of course it was a box he’d forgotten to take when he’d left.
Maybe he was having a great Valentine’s, not even remembering the romantic evening you’d planned for him last year.
Why am I even thinking about him?
Your break up had been mutual, yes, but you’d held back the little twinge of doubt about it.
Could you both have worked it out?
You’d both expressed the fear of losing each other completely after a series of arguments that neither of you were willing to compromise on.
Looking back, you can’t even remember what the arguments were over…
Laundry soap?
How to fold socks?
Leaving a towel on the floor?
The best brand of kimchi?
Who the hell knows. 
“Whatever.” you grumble, pushing off your knees to get up, grabbing up the box with you to take to the door.
He can come get it when-
A sharp, stinging pain rips through the arch of your foot and right through the rest of your body, causing you to let out the most offensive curse words your exhausted brain can conjure up.
The box you’ve just picked up drops, and luckily it doesn’t spill its insides this time.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you hiss out, moving your foot to look down at the villainous object that lit up all of your pain receptors like a christmas tree.
You freeze momentarily, then lean over to pick up the object that just destroyed your mood completely.
Of course it’s a fucking LEGO.
Park mother fucking Seonghwa-
Right at that moment, your doorbell rings and you just bite back even more expletives as you snatch up the horrid little plastic piece before making your way to the door.
“Coming!” You call out as someone begins to knock.
As if he was summoned, Seonghwa stands before you with a bright smile.
Instead of putting you into a good mood, his presence only makes you more irritated.
“Ugh…” you grunt at him, turning and walking away without another word.
“Nice to see you too,” he quips, coming inside even though he wasn’t invited.
“I’m trying to clean, Hwa, why are you here?”  
“Can’t I come by and say hello?” he asks, and you let out a slow breath.
You turn to look at him, as he sets down a small plant on your counter.
“What’s that?” You ask, narrowing your eyes at what appears to be a flower.
He looks at it, then turns a sheepish smile on you. 
Fucking hate how gorgeous he is, you grumble inwardly.
“I saw it and thought of you...why are you so grumpy today?” he asks, leaving the gift to walk over to you.
You run your hand over your face, shaking your head at him.
“I don’t know, just a long ass week, and I haven’t slept much, and….” you clench your other hand, the edges of the plastic Lego piece biting into your skin.
“-and then I stepped on your stupid Lego!” you thrust your hand out at him, palm up to present the disrespectful object.
“Ouch…sorry…” he says, walking over to take it from your hand.
He lights up, turning it over in his fingers, “It’s the missing piece I’ve been looking for!”
His brilliant grin has your insides crumbling and you hate that you’re feeling so emotional right now.
Why did he have to come by today of all-
“Are you crying? Did it hurt that badly? Let me see your foot-” he is suddenly ushering you to sit on the couch as you try to process his words.
Crying? You’re not-
You swipe at your face and let out a frustrated sigh at the moisture running down your cheeks.
Before you can protest, he’s kneeling before you, lifting first your right, then left foot to survey any damage done.
“I’m fine, Seonghwa-” you complain, but he just gives you a stern look before returning to his inspection.  
“Just a few little red marks…” he hums, rubbing his thumb gently over the spot where you’d stepped down on it.
You cross your arms over your chest, swallowing back the urge to kick him in his pretty face.
God, what’s wrong with me today?
“I didn’t think you’d be home, honestly.  Glad I took the chance.” He hums, looking up at you with those big brown doe eyes.
“Why? Cause now you have your Lego back?”  you snap at him, then regret it as a momentary look of hurt crosses his face.
He lets out a patient sigh, standing only to settle himself down next to you on the couch.  
“No...I just…” he shrugs, suddenly looking around at anything but you as he chews his bottom lip.
You glance at him from the corner of your eyes, noting how the long strands of his dark hair tease at his cheeks.
Before you can stop yourself, you unfold your arms and reach out to brush them back, startling him enough to stare at you in shock.
“Sorry…it’s gotten long.” you mumble, retracting your hand before you give in to the urge to trace your fingertips over his skin.
He holds your gaze, tugging on a strand and nodding in agreement.
“Do you…like it?” he asks softly, his eyes studying you.
“It’s…nice…” 
“Just nice?” He asks, a little teasing smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“What is it you came for, Hwa?” you ask, redirecting the conversation.
He takes in a deep breath, then lets it out slowly before answering.
“Just...I thought because it’s Valentine’s and maybe you …” he looks down at his fingers, suddenly interested in the state of his nails.
“Maybe I what? Am a pathetic mess because I’m single?” You bite out, hating how your voice wavers.
His head snaps up, brows drawing together.
“No. Why would I ever think that? Seriously?” he retorts and then he’s turning towards you, reaching out to grasp your hands in his.
“We’re friends, best friends…I’ve never once thought you were pathetic. What the hell even makes you think such a thing?”  
Friends.
For some reason, that cuts deep.
It’s been months since you’d both agreed to not be together.
To preserve the friendship.
He’d even moved out to make it easier on both of you; you’d both given in to the physical aspect far too much even after things ended.
Yet here you are, ready to hiss and spit at that term.
“I don’t want to be friends.” 
You freeze as you realize the words have slipped out unintentionally.
“What?” he asks, looking crestfallen.
“Hwa…no…I mean…fuck-” you stutter, angry at how your eyes sting from fresh tears welling up.
He lets go of your hands, cupping your cheeks to brush away the errant tears starting to spill down your face.  
“Don’t-” you try to swat him away, but he slaps at your hands, slipping an arm around you to pull you into a tight hug.
“What’s wrong?” he asks softly, tucking your face into his neck as he pets your hair.  
All of the internal struggles, the pressures of work, the sleepless nights…everything just seems to bubble up and you finally just feel the dam break.
Your hands fist into his soft sweater as you open your mouth and your heart just spills out.
“I feel so lonely, and sometimes it’s too much.  I miss you, I miss the stupid shit you do, I miss the way you get angry over how I leave my shoes or how I don’t dry things before putting them away.  It’s stupid Valentine’s and I was thinking about last year and all I want to do is just drown myself in wine and a bubble bath but I thought about you-” 
His body tenses in your arm, his hand halts, resting on the crown of your head before he’s slowly pulling you back to look at you.
“Shut up, I know it’s stupid, I know we agreed to be friends and I fucking thought I was fine-” 
The rush of words are cut off as his lips find yours.
Stunned, you freeze as the familiar sensation of his tongue prods at the seam of your lips, then you melt into his arms, opening up to allow him access.
His scent surrounds you, a small gasp escaping your parted lips before he’s planting kisses over and over on your mouth.
“I was going to tell you-” he says, breaking away for a moment before he closes the distance again.
“That I missed you too-”
“That I was stupid, I was wrong-” 
“I don’t even remember why we-”
You grasp his face, halting him before he can go on.
“I don’t either, why did we stop?” 
His eyes flick back and forth between yours, and he shakes his head.
That dark silky hair teases at his face and you feel the entire world fall into place.
Your lips quiver as your eyes fill once more, but this time it’s not painful.
It’s not in agony.
He blinks rapidly as he smiles as you, yanking you back to return his mouth to yours.
Time seems to stop, and bleed away as you cling to one another, basking in one anothers embrace before he’s breaking away from you.
“Hey…shhh…” he hums, pulling you into a gentle hug.
You nuzzle at his neck but he shakes his head as you brush your lips over that one place you know gets him going.
“Wait..” he protests, and you pull back to give him a pout.
“Don’t do that…you’re killing me here.” he chastises you, and your stomach flips as he gets a stern look on his face.
Fuck you’ve missed this.
He halts you once more as you go in for another kiss, taking your hands in his.
Confused, you tilt your head at him, about to ask him what’s wrong.
Before you can, he leans in to brush his plush lips over your forehead.
“Shh…I know how quickly things can escalate between us.  While I want that…I want you…I think rushing back into sex isn’t the way I want to begin again.” 
Your heart stutters in your chest, and while the ache between your legs argues against his logic, your mind and heart are in complete harmony about that sentiment.
Still, you give him yet another overdramatic pout.
He lets out a soft laugh, reaching up to flick his fingertip over your lip.
“Temptress.” he teases, and you can only grin as he tugs you back in to cuddle you.
Your entire body liquifies in his arms, and you run your hands over his shoulders, his back, his arms.
“Have you been working out?” you ask him, your voice muffled by his shirt as you rub your face into his chest.
He chuckles, his chin rubbing against your cheek.
“If you still feel the same way tomorrow, maybe I’ll show you.” he offers.
“Mmm…promise?” 
“I promise.” he answers, pulling away a little to look at you.
You hold one another’s gaze for a moment, then he stands and turns towards your kitchen.
“What are you doing?” you ask, watching as he rummages around, pulling out a stemmed glass, then finding a familiar cupboard.
“You said you wanted wine and a bath.  I’m going to give you exactly what you want, angel.” he hums.
Your heart thumps in your chest; firstly because he’s always been so caring and sweet, but also because of the use of his pet name for you.
“I love you, Seonghwa.” you blurt out, knowing you should feel embarrassed but the sudden admission but unable to find it in you to feel anything but relief at the confession.
He smiles softly as he pours the glass, walking back over to hand it to you before placing a kiss on your head.
“I know, angel…I never stopped loving you.”
His words linger in the air as he wanders off, tossing you a peeking glance before he disappears into the bathroom to start running your bath.
The familiar scent of your bubble bath fills the air as you take a sip of the velvety wine.
There’s still a lot to talk about, alot to discuss but tonight…
You stand, glass in hand and try to figure out how you’re going to get him to join you in your tub.
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fafnir19 · 2 days ago
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His Style
The bustling city streets buzzed with an energy that Zayne usually detested. Fashion Week had descended upon the metropolis, bringing with it a flurry of glamorous events, extravagant parties, and a never-ending parade of models and fashionistas. Zayne, a young businessman in his mid-twenties, found himself caught in the midst of this chaotic spectacle, his annoyance growing with each passing moment. He had always prided himself on his conservative corporate style, and the flamboyant displays of fashion were a stark contrast to his taste. With an important business meeting looming, Zayne knew he needed to look his best.
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His usual barber, a reliable and traditional man, was fully booked due to the influx of fashion-conscious clients. Finally, he spotted a high-end barbershop, the kind that radiated exclusivity. A glimmer of hope ignited in his chest. He stepped inside, the bell chiming above him, and was immediately assaulted by the smell of aftershave and hair products.
A man with a calm demeanor approached him, an vest wrapped around his waist. “Welcome! I’m Jason. How can I assist you today?”
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“I need a cut,” Zayne replied curtly. “Something classic. Slicked back. I have an important meeting.” He crossed his arms, trying to project authority despite the nagging doubts in his mind. Jason raised an eyebrow, assessing him. “You know, with your features, you could easily pull off a more modern look. Shorter on the sides, a bit messy on top. It’s all the rage right now.” “Pass,” Zayne shot back, his annoyance creeping back. “I want it slicked back. Classic. Like a businessman, not a fashion model.” He had always been particular about his appearance, especially since he was on the skinnier side and often felt he needed to compensate for his boyish looks. A tall, muscular build and a commanding presence were what he strived for, but no matter how hard he worked out, he couldn't seem to achieve the bulky, alpha-male physique he desired. The barber chuckled softly. “I work a lot in the model industry. You’ve got a handsome face, you know. Ever thought about modeling?” Zayne scoffed, shaking his head. “Not a chance. I’m a businessman, not some runway clown.” “Suit yourself,” Jason said, shrugging slightly, his tone light. “But you really should consider it. You’ve got a lot of potential.” Zayne rolled his eyes, sinking into the barber chair. “Yeah, right,” Zayne scoffed, running a hand through his dark brown slicked-back hair, a recent dye job to cover his natural blond. “I’m here to look alpha, not prance around like some runway peacock.” He had always wanted to appear older and more mature, believing it would make him more attractive to potential partners. The idea of being a sugar daddy to a beautiful younger woman had a certain allure, and he had gone to great lengths to transform his image.
The barber shrugged, moving to wash Zayne’s hair. The warm water cascaded down his scalp, and Zayne felt the tension in his shoulders begin to melt away. He closed his eyes, letting the soothing sensation wash over him, the sound of water lulling him deeper into relaxation.
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“Just try to stay awake, alright?” Jason murmured, his voice a low hum in the background. Zayne felt himself drifting, the world around him fading into shadows. He barely noticed when the barber began to speak again, his words a gentle whisper. “Don’t you want to try something new? I could make you look great. Just trust me,” Jason said, his tone persuasive. “Yeah, maybe,” Zayne mumbled, his mind hazy as the rhythmic motions of the wash lulled him further. “Give me free rein,” Jason continued, “and I promise you’ll look fantastic.” “Yeah, just do what you see fit,” Zayne replied, almost dreamily. With that, the barber set to work, cutting Zayne’s hair shorter on the sides and creating a messy top. He felt the scissors snipping away, but it all felt so distant, like he was watching from afar. The buzz and chatter of the shop faded into white noise as Jason guided him through the transformation. “Now, let’s freshen up that face of yours,” Jason said, pulling out a can of shaving foam. “You’ll look so much better without that stubble.” “I don’t know…” Zayne hesitated, the words escaping his lips with little resistance. “Trust me!” Jason replied, his voice firm yet coaxing. He began lathering Zayne’s face with the foam, the scent intoxicating. Zayne’s thoughts swirled as the razor glided smoothly over his skin. Each stroke felt like a gentle caress, pulling him deeper into a trance.
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As Jason worked, something unexpected happened. The dark color of Zayne’s hair began to fade, revealing his natural golden locks. Zayne didn’t realize it was happening, too caught up in the sensation of the shave, the foam, and Jason’s voice. “Your strong pecs would look better shaved too,” Jason remarked with a casual confidence. Zayne nodded, still in that pliable state. The barber’s hands moved skillfully, and soon, Zayne’s tie was discarded, and his crisp white shirt was unbuttoned. Another barber joined in, helping to shave Zayne’s upper body and pit hairs, leaving him smooth as a newborn. Every stroke of the razor felt liberating, as if layers of his former self were being peeled away. “Look at you, a true work of art,” Jason said with satisfaction, stepping back to admire his handiwork. Zayne felt a thrill at the compliment, still lost in the haze of relaxation. Finally, they dressed him in a baby blue silk shirt that hung loosely, undone to reveal Zayne’s newly smooth upper body. Jason handed him an espresso, the bitter jolt of caffeine bringing him back to a semi-conscious state. Zayne's eyes fluttered open, and he stared at his reflection in the mirror, his jaw dropping in shock. He looked so different, his boyish features accentuated by the new haircut and shave. His golden blond hair and smooth skin gave him a youthful glow, and the silk shirt draped perfectly over his toned body. Gone was the commanding businessman he had envisioned. Instead, he stared at a boyish model staring back, all soft edges and youthful charm.
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“What the hell?” he gasped. “I look like a kid!” “Perfect for the runway!” Jason chimed, a proud smile on his face. “Runway? No, no way.” Zayne’s heart raced as he tried to process the transformation. “I can’t go to my meeting like this!” Before he could continue his tirade, the door swung open with a flourish and a stylish woman entered, her confidence radiating.  She was in her fifties but tried hard to maintain a youthful appearance, with perfectly sculpted hair and designer clothes that clung to her form.
“Donata, right in time! I’m just finishing up with the new replacement model!” Jason beamed, gesturing dramatically toward Zayne. “Ah, Jason, you’ve done it again! This one is perfect for the show!” Donata’s eyes sparkled with enthusiasm as she approached Zayne, watching him like a piece of art. Zayne’s protests fell on deaf ears as she circled him, inspecting every inch. "You, my dear," she said, leaning closer, "are going to be the talk of the town. With that face and body, you’ll walk the runway like a dream. And I’ll pay you handsomely for it." Zayne clenched his fists at his sides. "I don’t care about your money..." he began, but Donata cut him off with a wave of her hand. "Ten thousand dollars for one show!" A silence enveloped the room as Zayne's mind raced. Ten thousand? His anger began to dissipate, replaced by the allure of the hefty sum. "How much? Ten thousand?" he asked, his voice laced with disbelief. Donata beamed, her enthusiasm infectious. "Exactly! Just imagine what you could do with that kind of money. Think of the opportunities!" Zayne shifted on his feet, torn between his desire for respect in the business world and the magnetic pull of easy cash. "Fine," he finally muttered, resignation creeping into his tone. "I’ll do it. But only this once." Jason clapped his hands together, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "This is going to be fun. You’ll be the star of the show!"
The runway lights illuminated the catwalk, casting a radiant glow upon the models strutting their stuff. Among them, Zayne, with his freshly cut and styled hair, exuded an air of confidence that belied his initial reluctance. He stood backstage, heart racing as he adjusted the baby blue silk shirt that hung open, revealing the smooth contours of his newly shaved torso. As he stepped out into the spotlight, a wave of applause rolled over him, and Zayne forced a smile, his heart racing. His eyes, a deep ocean blue, sparkled under the stage lights, capturing the audience's attention.
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The crowd's murmurs turned into whispers of admiration as he sauntered down the runway, his gait graceful and powerful. He owned the stage, his presence commanding yet effortlessly cool. Donata watched from the sidelines, her eyes fixed on Zayne with an intensity that bordered on obsession. She had an eye for talent, and in Zayne, she saw raw potential—a blank canvas she couldn't wait to paint with her creative vision. She knew she had to secure Zayne as her muse, the embodiment of her creative spirit.
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As the show ended, she approached Zayne backstage, her steps purposeful. "You were magnificent out there," she purred, her voice smooth as silk. "A true revelation." Zayne forced a smile, still grappling with the transformation that had transpired. “I’m just here for the money, Donata. This isn’t my scene.” “Oh, but it could be!” she chimed, brushing his arm lightly. “You have that rare quality—something so captivating. I must have you as my muse!” He shook his head, frustration bubbling up. “I’m not interested in being a model. I don’t want to be a trophy boy.” She leaned closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Just think about it! You, on the cover of magazines, walking runways all over the world! Imagine the doors this could open for you. The connections, the money!” “It’s tempting, but I love my business,” he insisted, though it lacked conviction. “Just one more show, the grand finale,” Donata pressed, her eyes narrowing, as if she could see through his façade. “You’ll earn even more, and I promise you’ll enjoy it. Just one last walk, Zayne.” With a resigned sigh, he replied, “Fine. Just this once.” “Excellent! You won’t regret it,” she beamed, her enthusiasm infectious.
Some days later, as the final show approached, Zayne found himself back in Jason's barbershop chair, the familiar scent of razor foam filling the air. “Ready for your close-up, Zayne?” he teased, a playful glint in his eye. “Yeah, I guess so.” Zayne felt a strange mixture of anxiety and anticipation. “Just relax,” Jason instructed as he began to shave Zayne’s face, the razor gliding smoothly over his skin.
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“You’re going to look incredible.” As the blade touched his skin, Zayne felt an odd sense of tranquility wash over him. The hum of the razor was oddly soothing, and he found himself drifting, his mind hazy. “You are a great model,” Jason murmured, the words wrapping around Zayne like a warm blanket. “Yeah…” Zayne replied, almost dreamlike. “So inspiring,” Jason whispered, his voice smooth and soothing. “Yeah,” Zayne murmured, feeling the world outside fade away. The hum of the salon, the distant chatter of stylists, all became a soft backdrop to Jason’s voice. “It would be a shame to waste your potential,” Jason continued, his hands skillfully gliding over Zayne’s face. The sensation of the razor was comforting, almost hypnotic. “Yeah,” Zayne nodded, his eyelids growing heavy. “You’re so inspiring for Donata. You make her feel young again!” Jason's tone was enticing, almost melodic. “But … I’m … not a boy toy,” Zayne protested weakly, the words slipping out as if they belonged to someone else. “You are Donata’s muse!” Jason pressed, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Don’t you want to explore something new? Want to feel how it is to let yourself fall? Let Donata lead!” Zayne stammered, caught in a haze. “Yeah... muse.” “Perfect,” Jason purred, a satisfied smile spreading across his face as the final stroke of the razor revealed Zayne’s smooth skin. “You’re ready to take the runway by storm.” Zayne blinked, a flicker of awareness returning as he glanced at himself in the mirror once more. The boyish model grinned back at him, and a strange sense of anticipation surged within him. The crowd would soon roar, and under the spotlight, he would be reborn. “Let’s go show them what you’ve got,” Jason said, placing a hand on Zayne’s shoulder, guiding him forward.
As the grand finale approached, Zayne stepped out onto the runway, clad in a baby blue groom's suit with a flowing silk capelet. The audience erupted in applause as he struck a pose, his eyes exuding a newfound confidence.
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He embodied the essence of Donata's designs, becoming the living, breathing embodiment of her vision. At the after-party, Zayne found himself at the center of attention, Donata by his side. She introduced him to industry elites, her hand resting proudly on his shoulder. Zayne felt a strange sense of ownership as he was paraded around, but he couldn't deny the thrill of being the center of attention.
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As the night wore on, Zayne's inhibitions lowered with each glass of champagne. He felt a surge of desire as he watched Donata's graceful movements, her eyes sparkling with mischief. In a moment of boldness, he pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her waist. She took the opportunity and their lips met in a passionate kiss, the guests around them erupting in cheers and whistles. Zayne's mind became a blur as  Donata kissed him, the taste of champagne and desire mingling on their tongues. He heard Jason's voice in his head, a distant echo—"model... smooth... muse... boyish... boy toy..."—and it sent a shiver of excitement down his spine. His cock hardened, pressing against the silk fabric of his suit. He was aware of the eyes on him, the whispers, but he didn't care. He was lost in the sensation, in the realization that he was desired, not for his intellect or business acumen, but for his looks, his body. The kiss deepened, and Zayne felt himself surrendering to the moment, to the role he had been given. He was a living mannequin, a canvas for Donata's creative vision. As their tongues danced, he accepted his new identity, the identity of a muse, a boyish model, and a possession of Donata's.
The next morning, Zayne awoke in Donata's mansion, the sun streaming through the windows. He felt different, lighter, as if a transformation had taken place while he slept. He rose, his movements fluid, and grabbed a pair of skimpy briefs and a silk bathrobe, the same shade of baby blue as the suit he had worn the night before. As he stepped out onto the patio, the morning sun caressed his skin, warming him. He stretched, his muscles flexing, and he knew he was exactly what Donata wanted—a living, breathing work of art. He would do as she asked, as long as it meant he could continue to look and feel this way.
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Unbeknownst to Zayne, Jason had arrived at the mansion, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he watched Zayne from a distance. He approached Donata, his voice low and conspiratorial. "When you're ready to move on, just give me a sign. I'll turn him gay, make him mine. A pretty boy like that, I can't resist." Donata smiled, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "He's quite the catch, isn't he? But for now, he's mine. I'll let you know when I'm done playing with my new toy." Jason chuckled, a hint of anticipation in his voice. "I'll be waiting. Just remember, he's a special one. I can make him even more... pliable."
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As they spoke, Zayne, oblivious to their plans, basked in the sun, his mind clear and his body relaxed. He was content, for now, to be Donata's muse, her boy-toy, a role that brought him a luxury he had never known before. Little did he know, his fate was not entirely his own, and the whispers of 'model... smooth... muse...pretty boy' would continue to shape his path, leading him further into a world of fashion, desire, and hidden agendas.
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fallenfawnn · 2 years ago
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i have lost count of how many times i have cried today, i have yelled and screamed more than 10 times, collapsed to the floor more than 5 … im so exhausted now .. and slightly more stable.. but still the tears won’t stop. im a little glad they won’t.. i haven’t *felt* so much in a while. and maybe it is a little bit nice after months of dissociated autopilot.
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krispiblueberry · 5 months ago
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SHADOW ! REMEMBER
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Maria design for reference under cut :]
Just a quick sketch for ref ^_^
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vee-lociraptor · 4 months ago
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bad and useless forever. incurable
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sheepcreature · 10 months ago
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not a really big fan of the noises I make when I get excited jngnskfnc,,,
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poguehearted77 · 4 months ago
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Winter's Chance
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Summary: It's Rafe's turn to have your son for the weekend, but it seems the weather wants you to spend the holidays together.
--Finally some Baby Daddy Rafe
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With delicate rubs to your son's tummy, you desperately tried to get him to calm down with soft pleads and overeager soothing. He'd been fussing all day, so much that you'd called the doctor to make sure everything was okay.
They simply reassured you that it may just be a prolonged stage of fussiness. Most babies grow out of it around 4 months which is exactly where Max had just reached a few weeks ago.
Just when he was finally beginning to calm for a moment your ears are filled with the chime of your doorbell. Max picks up his crying as if he had never stopped. Your eyes roll, already knowing who is on the other side of the door.
You gently scooped him up to rest over your shoulder on top of the little binkie you tend to have thrown over your shoulder at all times for moments like this. He was cute, but the spit-up was never pretty and you were always prepared.
Opening the door from a distance you weren't expecting to see Rafe step in partially covered in snow. It distracted you momentarily before Max's cries cut through the shock.
"I know, I know." You whine, gently rocking him, backing away from the cold air that swept against your feet. "Hurry up, and close the door." His eyes roll, "Hello to you too." He closes the door and stomps off the snow from his boots before stepping out of them and hanging up his jacket.
"Woah, woah, what are you doing? This is just a pick-up, then you can have fun trying to calm him down at your place." Rafe stands still, his thumb gesturing to the door behind him, "You haven't seen the news, have you? They're closing the roads, so we're snowed in. The only reason I made it here is because of the suspension on my truck."
Your face turns sour and Max continues to cry.
"So why did you come in the first place if you knew you wouldn't be able to make it back?" He ignores your question for the most part, "Relax, baby. As excited as you are to see me, I didn't come for you. I came for my son. There he is," Rafe's expression lights up as he reaches for Max and takes him out of your hold.
"Rafe you can't just take him and expect him to calm-"
For the first time in seven hours, silence consumes the room. No more screams and tearful cries. "You've got to be fucking with me," You don't say it loudly, but Rafe still hears.
"Guess he was just missin' his daddy, huh? Isn't that right, Max?" Rafe's tone is playful as he pokes at Max's tummy which elicits tiny giggles and the brightest smile you'd seen all day.
You walk away, headed towards the kitchen. Not sure why you were moving so fast, Rafe was hot on your heels. "It's not your fault, it's probably just been a long day-" He finally shuts the fuck up with his smug remarks when he hears a soft cry, "Y/n," Your name rolls off his tongue, tender and sweet. "Baby, what's wrong?" Effortlessly, he supports Max with one hand while he reaches to turn you so you're facing him.
Your eyes are filled with tears, lips quivering ever so slightly and he knows what's coming. He's seen you like this more times than he can count. He takes you under his arm, your cheek pressed to his chest and you break down, muttering into the fabric of his hoodie.
He comforts you with a big hand rubbing your back, soothing you the way he learned from those parenting books that he swear he never read. "It's so hard, Rafe." Is all you manage to say through broken cries for the first five minutes before you're pushing off him, expression more angry than upset? "He was crying all day, and the second you walk in, he's perfectly fine."
Rafe's lips frown, puzzled. "And that's a bad thing?--"
"Yes! Why do you get to be Superman?!" Earlier, the sound of a pin drop would disturb Max from calming, but now even your exclamations left him unfazed, as long as he was in Rafe's arms he was unbothered.
As a matter of fact, with a second glance, you notice he'd actually fallen asleep. Just Perfect. Another win for Superman.
He chuckles, leading you both to have a seat on the couch. Your son sleeping soundly in his father's hold. "Well, I think I've got the abs for it." His shit-eating grin spreads across his lips.
"You try carrying a baby in your stomach for nine months, and you tell me if you still have abs after." Subtly, his tongue wets his lips at the memory, "All I remember is how good you looked pregnant. Shit, wanna do it again?" You'd never wanted to hurt someone so badly.
"You're lucky you're holding my son." He scoffs, leaning in slightly as if to speak away from the baby. "I seem to remember the two of us going half on the conception, and a few times after that." You air-swat him and stand, making your way for the stairs. "I'm going to take a nap."
The hours flew by as you finally had your first uninterrupted nap in what felt like years. By the time you woke up, the sun was long gone, and there was a thick layer of fresh snow sitting on your window pane. You headed downstairs and stopped at the bottom of the steps to appreciate the view.
Nothing melted you quite like the sight of Rafe taking care of Max. You hated to admit it, but he was a good dad. A really good one. Hot, too. Rafe held the bottle to Max's lips, murmuring some undistinguishable babbles with a soft smile. Surely speaking a language only the two of them can understand.
"I hope you warmed the bottle before you gave it to him." You say, and he finally notices you standing by the stairs, stalking your way over and sitting beside him.He ignores you, knowing that you're just trying to get under his skin. "You look well rested." He remarks and you sigh with a soft nod. "Yeah, I am actually." He grins to himself, "Must be a miracle to sleep well on that cheap-ass mattress you got up there."
"Sorry, we can't all have premium mattresses." Rafe pulls the bottle back once he realizes Max has had his fill. "Y'know my money is your money right? I give you ten thousand a month but everything I have is yours, too." Standing him up on his lap first, Rafe holds the baby over his shoulder, gently patting his back.
"Well, I don't need to live in a fifteen thousand sq ft house to be happy unlike you." He shakes his head slowly, his gaze falls on you, somber. "I seem happy to you? I don't give a shit how big my place is. It's always going to be empty without you two in it... " He trails off, alluding there's more to come.
"Rafe.. What are you saying?"
"Move in with me, again." Your head shakes before you sputter profuse denials, "No, Rafe, we can't we tried that before remember? We don't get along. Technically, we're not even together." The conversation is briefly interrupted by a small gurgled burp on Max's behalf.
Rafe leans down to place a drowsy Max in his rocker in front of the couch before sitting back up. "Things were different then, we were eighteen. I can't do the back-and-forth anymore. Don't you wanna wake up in the morning, see that Max is taken care of and I'm making you breakfast, then we go back to bed and I take care of you? Huh?" He hums, his voice igniting sparks along the length of your neck as he nosed along it.
"Rafe.." your voice is shaky, feeling the heat from the discussion.
"Whadd'ya say, hm?" You reflect, having Rafe stay with you today, in just a few short hours you'd been able to take a break, he held you when you cried like he always did. You'd hardly even fought. Though that was no surprise, the two of you fought considerably less ever since Max came into the picture.
"Okay, yes." You can feel the lines from his smile stretch against your jaw just before he begins to pepper kisses on your cheek. "Y'know, we made the world's cutest baby ever right?" You smile, both your gazes focused on the little one before you.
"He's got your eyes, for sure." Rafe states and you giggle, "You're just saying that because they're brown." He sits up straight, heartfully disagreeing. "I'm not. They're the same eyes that I fell in love with when I first laid my eyes on you, and the same ones that humbled me when they looked up at me for the first time in the NICU."
His words were touching. You're seeing a whole new side of him. Not the usually hot-headed and impulsive man you were used to. This one was sweeter, softer, and more sincere.
You reeled him in for the first kiss, his lips soft as they pressed against yours, his hands confidently holding you at your waist. "Ah, I see you're taking me up on my previous offer. Let's go for a girl this time, yeah?" He grins, and you pinch him.
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heavenbarnes · 9 months ago
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in an alternate universe, you meet older bf!simon through a friend- well, a friend’s brother.
your friend’s brother, johnny. he overhears you whinging to his sister about how fucking hard it is to find a place to live. so he tells you about this guy he serves with.
‘L.t’ he calls him.
since he and L.t are on deployment so often, there’s a tidy re-purposed council flat that’s often empty. johnny says he’ll chat L.t about your predicament and see what he thinks.
L.t allows you to live in his home- problem is he’s leaving on deployment literally tomorrow so you have to exchange agreements by text.
you’ve got money going into his account, some basic agreements about no parties, no partners, no smoking, and no mucking about.
L.t gives the key to johnny, who gives it to his sister, who gives it to you- opening the door to an almost pristine little home. not a thing out of place.
military precision.
so you move in and you’re shocked to find more than a flat pillow and plaid duvet cover. there’s 3-in-1 in the shower but easily replaced with your own products.
the pantry and fridge are bare but soon filled with your favourites. your undies are drying over the dining chairs and your blanket is draped across the couch.
you’ve got your own profile on the netflix and your toothbrush is in the holder. you’ve done what you were told.
“make yourself at home”
so much so that you almost forget deployment will end at some point, hard to remember when you don’t even have the faintest idea when that’ll be.
johnny said it could be weeks, maybe months. he didn’t tell you that it could be at any moment.
you think you hear the door in the deep of your sleep but your brain reassures you it’s in the back of your dream- you don’t even wake.
it’s actually the weight dropping beside you on the mattress and shuffling up to your back that gets you. it’s a miracle you don’t scream.
L.t lands a rough hand on your back, something about “calm down, s’only me”
only him? he who’s name you don’t even know?
as if he can read your mind, he’s following up with a grumbled “simon”
simon ‘sans-last name.’
before his breathing begins to even out.
your heart is beating out your chest- perfect stranger climbing into bed with you?
the voice in your head that always wants you to be polite reminds you that this is actually his house, after all.
he was also kind enough to let you stay, charging a rent way below going rate.
he had just been away serving this country, duty to protect and all.
and johnny knows him, vouched for him- sure johnny can be a bit of a perv but he’s harmless.
simon must be too, right?
you decide to settle back under the duvet, telling yourself it’s you that’s being weird. you need to be more grateful!
mans tired, if he wasn’t absolutely shattered he would’ve taken the couch.
right?
you’re almost entirely convinced until you feel a strong arm loop around your waist, pulling you back into something unbelievably hard.
harmless.
right.
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fear-is-truth · 2 months ago
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making bf!rafe wait for the day to properly fuck you
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mature content ; mdni ┆smut
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the beginning of your relationship had been rafe’s longest celibate streak since he was old enough to chase his vices. alcohol, drugs, pussy, whatever—none of it had ever been out of reach. but you? you made him wait. you made him work for it.
it drove him mad—months of what he grudgingly called “courtship” (the word was ridiculous in his head, like he was some medieval knight or something) just to get to first and second base. then, even when things heated up, you’d stop him with a hand on his chest and that maddeningly calm “not yet.” weeks of dry humping left him wrecked, his patience worn thin every time you pulled back, lips swollen and breathing shallow. rafe swore he was fucking losing it. the softness of your thighs rubbing against his clothed cock sent his head spinning with lust, but no matter how desperate he got, you never wavered.
it was torture, plain and simple. and yet, he stayed. because you were worth it. even when he started to think he might be permanently stuck on third base.
when you finally let him touch you, it was everything he’d imagined and more. rafe cameron wasn’t new to this. far from it. but nothing—no past flings, no meaningless hookups—had ever compared to you. the promise land had never felt this good. especially because he’d worked so damn hard for it. he could’ve sworn he’d forget how to breathe every time you pressed him down, legs locking around his neck like you fucking owned him. like he was your bitch. and maybe you did own him. the heated way you looked down at him—half-lidded eyes, lips slightly parted, rafe could’ve gladly stayed in that position forever, could’ve suffocated between your thighs and wouldn’t have cared.
when you finally let him have you, there was no hesitation. you weren’t on that coy, unsure bullshit—you knew exactly what you wanted and made sure he knew it too. you were demanding. bossy, even. but rafe didn’t complain.
it wasn’t that you let him take control—you allowed it. and only because you wanted to. and it wasn’t easy for him, either. you made him work for every arch of your body, every wanton moan. your fingers dug harshly into his shoulders, inhumanly tight cunt hot around his cock, the quiet command in your breathy whisper of his name—it was enough to keep him completely hooked. your steady gaze stayed locked on his, unflinching, as if daring him to do better. and god, he did. every single time you pushed him to the edge of his limits, he rose to meet you.
pupils blown wide with lust, jaws set, but he was chasing your approval with every thrust. the way your lips parted, that faint, smug-ass smirk tugging at the corners as you clenched around him, drove him wild. when he finally hit the right spot, and you let out that soft, satisfied sigh—kiss-bitten lips barely moving as the high crested—he felt it in his chest like a victory. every second of waiting, every ounce of effort, every drop of restraint—it had all been worth it.
rafe had never worked this hard to please someone in bed, but with you? it was never a chore.
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honey-tongued-devil · 3 months ago
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Arcane preference reacting to a s/o with a mental health issues (eating)
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My disclaimer, as someone with this issue, I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted. I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while, but I was a bit cowardly about doing it, so I’m taking the opportunity now. I don’t want to go out of character, so I’m sorry if some characters come across as harsher than others. Unfortunately, I know I should write the name of the illness, but if I post it that way, Tumblr will take it down.
Jayce:
- He’s academically intelligent, but it takes him far too long to notice that something’s wrong. But you can’t blame him, it’s something so far removed from him that he couldn’t have understood it sooner.
- When he does realize, his first reaction is panic.
- Jayce can’t feel like just a blade of grass; he feels emotions deeply, taking on any blame, especially if something happens to the people he loves. His first thought is that he did something to make you feel that way, inadequate.
- But once the panic phase ends, the responsibility phase begins.
- He does the grocery shopping, he cooks, and his workouts become more regular, where he has you climb onto his back while doing push-ups or holds you in his arms during other exercises.
- He doesn’t know why you do it, but the quickest way to show you that your weight isn’t a problem is by showing you how easily he lifts you.
- And maybe, if you feel up to it, he can hold you in his arms with one arm supporting you while he cooks, letting you taste various ingredients.
Viktor:
- Unlike Jayce, it only takes two suspicious behaviors in a row for him to understand what’s happening. It’s something far from his world, sure, but he recognizes it.
- And he confronts you. He doesn’t beat around the bush, doesn’t stammer; he might even sound angry because he doesn’t understand why you’d hurt yourself like this and willingly give up your well-being.
- I won’t lie, I doubt that an open discussion about something this delicate with him wouldn’t lead to at least one hysterical cry.
- But he’s not brutal for the sake of being brutal; his suffering and frustration turn into anger. It takes him a while to calm down, but he won’t accept compromises.
- You’ll have meals together at home, either returning to your rooms together or straight to the house, so no one can see you and you won’t feel bad.
- And he won’t force you, he tries to handle it with as much care as possible, but there’s no day that goes by without him getting up from the table if you haven’t eaten at least two food items per meal.
- He loves you too much to see you hurt yourself in that way, and knowing that he can't do anything about it makes him feel powerless.
Ekko:
- It takes him a week—not to understand, but to process it.
- Having grown up in total poverty, the idea of giving up food “for whim” makes him react in a way that is only human.
- And the whole thing is too distant for him: everyone’s skin is grayish, 90% of the population of the Lanes has missing limbs and monstrous prosthetics, and everyone’s goal is to survive as long as possible. What does it mean that you’re against your own survival??
- As unsupportive as he might be regarding the issue, he becomes incredibly vigilant and concerned.
- He’ll always make sure you’re warm enough, that you’re comfortable, and no matter how frustrated he is, he’ll always try to stay close to you, even just holding you in bed until you fall asleep.
- Every single comment you make about your body, he’ll respond with, “Don’t talk about my partner like that,” 
- no one can speak badly of you, not even you.
Vander:
- The most understanding: he was young once too, and although in his size meant an advantage, he and Silco snuck into various galas when they were younger, and there, even though he never had these problems, he would feel a strange sensation seeing that he was the biggest in the room or that it was hard to find someone to steal clothes from that would fit him.
- He doesn’t lecture you or anything like that, he doesn’t get angry despite how he grew up; he just feels sadness for you that you can’t see how little that complex matters and how beautiful you already are.
- His compromise is vegetables. If you don’t feel like eating every meal every day, it doesn’t matter, but at least four days a week, you have to have three meals.
- And for the rest, he’ll cook, making sure to prepare the best dishes made from vegetables so that you don’t feel guilty and your body doesn’t deteriorate.
- But he doesn’t support your illness, he simply ensures that you get everything you need and never go below the necessary intake without having you feeling guilty about it.
Silco:
- Hoping that the most attentive and watchful man in the lanes wouldn't notice how, suddenly, meals go from moments of lightness to something you try to avoid at all costs is a bit foolish, but he says nothing.
- He waits for as long as necessary, basically to see how long it lasts and how much you're not planning to talk to him.
- When he realizes you won’t, not anytime soon, he waits for you to be alone in his office, where you’ll find a slice of cake on his desk. Sure, it’s a low blow, but it’s also the fastest way to get you to confront the issue without too many escape routes.
- He’s a big fan of the saying “dirty laundry is washed in the family,” so if you act strange about meals in front of others, he won’t allow questions or jokes, but in private, he won’t accept “no” for an answer.
- He has enough problems already without you crying from hunger pains or having psychotic episodes due to sugar deficiency, so as long as you're under his watch, under Zaun's eye, he won't let you live with unhealthy standards.
- During meals, he becomes the strictest. He doesn’t say anything, but one look is enough to make you think twice about contradicting him. In the evening, though, when your mental health is most fragile, he becomes gentler, comforting you as much as you need.
Jinx:
- You find fertile ground, but like any good bearer of the same issue: she feels she can do it, but you cannot.
- Being with her or in her space becomes like a live-action version of Thumbelina: she’ll leave sweets, chocolates, things she knows you like to encourage you to eat so you can’t hurt yourself.
- She usually forgets to eat herself when she’s caught up in her studies and work, but if she has someone to care for, it doesn’t matter how, she’ll make sure to remember. Even if it means setting a few colorful bombs with timers.
- She feeds you. In the most visible, worst way. It’s easy that if you turn your head, you’ll find a cookie shoved in your mouth unceremoniously.
- And every single tight-fitting outfit disappears from her lair. Magically, whatever clothes you pick up from her pile fit loosely, but if you ask her about it, she’ll claim she doesn’t know what are you talking about.
Vi:
- Want to see Vi in a panic, becoming super protective and possessive in a way? Just wait for one episode, and you’ll see everything you haven’t seen.
- She’ll check on you at least three times a day, and in the evening, when you have pain or a crisis, she’ll run back and forth from the room, thinking about everything she can do to help you feel better without making you feel guilty.
- During meals, she’ll hold you in her arms and insist that you eat, but not aggressively—in a way that’s almost frightened: she’s always been used to fighting big, real monsters, but even when it came to her sister, she could never defeat the invisible ones, and the fear of failing or hurting someone she loved again terrifies her in an agonizing way.
Caitlyn:
- Like Jayce, she’ll also try a more physical way of reassuring you, like body worshipping when you’re alone or working out with you to show you that your weight doesn’t matter.
- She doesn’t know how to react; she realizes it quite quickly but fears that by acknowledging it, she might only make you feel worse.
- One day, she gathers the courage to ask if everything is okay and tells you that she’s noticed those behaviors. When you open up to her, telling her about the issues, she doesn’t respond right away and simply hugs you.
- She becomes more caring, making sure that you don’t have to attend banquets or dinners where you wouldn’t feel comfortable, bringing you food in your room to eat together, and sometimes even leaving the room so as not to put pressure on you.
- When you mention a craving, she immediately springs into action to get it for you, even if you complain that you weren’t serious. Once she understands how your condition works, she orders everything in three portions, so she can eat with you and then be the first to say that she wants more, asking if you want to share the third portion.
- If you have fat accumulated in any area, she’ll knead it with her hands while kissing you, to let you know that she loves every inch of you.
Mel:
- She notices you're having a crisis before you even realize it yourself.
- She’s a ruler, but what she learned from a young age is that a leader must appear reliable and look good, so even if unconsciously, she too sometimes experiences small crises when she feels like she isn’t looking perfect.
- No conversations, no lectures, just an increase in cuddles, moments of intimacy, and later, she brings home sweets.
- “They were a gift to me today at the council,” she lies, but sometimes she says she got them for both of you.
- She doesn’t want to make you feel like you’re in the wrong.
- She knows that when you’re ready and if you want to, you’ll bring up the issue with her, but for now, the best thing she can do is help you get through the episode with euphoria, love, and treats that encourage you to listen to your hunger rather than the illness.
Sevika:
- Like everyone in Zaun, the idea that someone would voluntarily give up food is simply incomprehensible to her.
- But she won’t comment on your problems. She doesn’t intend to invalidate them, but she also won’t encourage it.
- “Are you sure? That’s a bit too little,” will be her comment when you eat something ridiculously small, before making you a proper portion of food herself. If you try to argue, she’ll respond with a smug smile, saying that if you eat that little, you’ll end up breaking when you’re in bed together.
- If a crisis is particularly bad, she’ll try to finish her work as quickly as possible to be able to stay with you for the rest of the day and not leave you alone.
- As much as possible, she’ll try to get the best, freshest, and most natural food, to reassure you that you don’t need to worry, but she’ll never insist that you eat if you say you don’t feel up to it.
- She’ll gesture for you to come sit on her lap and keep you there, occasionally offering you things she knows you like, telling you that she’s really craving them, and if you want them too, she’ll go get them.
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rafecameronssl4t · 4 months ago
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Deal or deal? || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
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gif by @rafeyscurtainbangs
Summary: inspired by this scene in ep 4 but with my own twist and it’s dad!rafe x reader w/ Mabel 😍
Warnings: nothing rlly!
Word count: 1,075
A/n: hey so um I caved in couldn't resist writing at least one fic w the new season during my break...
MASTERLIST (dad!Rafe au masterlist)
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divider by @h-aewo
You walk into the ensuite bathroom as you adjust Mabel on your hip. Her little hands curl around your shoulder, her head nestling against your neck. The soft scent of baby powder clings to her skin, and despite the busyness of the morning, there’s always something calming about her presence. Rafe stands by the counter, packing the beach bag with towels, sunscreen, and toys, his movements relaxed yet purposeful.
He looks up as you approach, his sharp blue eyes softening. “You’re just in time,” he says, zipping the bag with a quick motion and setting it aside. You smile back, setting Mabel in her bouncer next to him. "Thought I’d let you handle the sunscreen part," you tease, brushing your fingers gently over Mabel's soft curls. Rafe chuckles and kneels beside her, his large hands dwarfing the bottle of sunscreen as he carefully squirts a bit onto his fingers.
"Alright, princess, we don’t want you burning up, do we?” he murmurs, gently applying the cream to her chubby cheeks. His touch is so soft, filled with care, as Mabel giggles, her tiny hands reaching for his face. You smile, pressing a kiss to the top of Mabel’s head. She gurgles happily, her tiny feet kicking as she looks around, wide-eyed and curious. You turn away, heading toward the closet where your bikini is draped over a chair. The fabric feels cool in your hands as you slip it on, the rich colour contrasting with your skin.
“So,” you begin, your voice casual but carrying a note of seriousness, “I was thinking… about that business opportunity that came up last week.” You glance over your shoulder as Rafe’s eyes flick up from Mabel, curiosity piqued. “The investment thing?” “Yeah,” you say, fumbling a little as you try to tie the back of your bikini. “I really think you should go for it." He stands, moving closer, his eyes shifting between your face and your chest as you adjust it.
"Turn around," he mutters, his hands brushing against your back as he pulls the strings into a neat knot. His fingers linger for a moment longer than necessary, and when you glance at the mirror, you catch the way his eyes roam over you—an intensity in his gaze that sends a slight shiver through you. "You really think it’s that good of a deal?" he asks, his voice low, his hands hovering at your waist. You meet his gaze through the mirror, feeling the heat of his hands lingering at the small of your back.
"Yeah, don't you?" You adjust the bikini strap on your shoulder. His hands drop to rest lightly on your hips, and for a second, he doesn't' respond. Lightly biting your lip as you wait for a response, he meets your gaze in the mirror, a slight smirk playing on his lips. His eyes stay locked on you, a mix of thoughtfulness and something more. "I think you should go for it." Rafe’s eyes darken with thought, but his smirk doesn’t fade. He pulls you a little closer, his grip firm but gentle, his chest pressing against your back.
“God, this is just landing right in my lap, isn’t it?” His tone is a mixture of amusement and consideration. You give him a playful look over your shoulder. “That’s what I’ve been saying. You’d be stupid not to take it.” He chuckles, his breath warm against the side of your neck as his lips brush against your skin, slowly at first. “You always know how to push me in the right direction,” he murmurs, the teasing lilt in his voice sending a warmth down your spine.
His hands glide up from your hips to your waist, pulling you just a little closer. You let out a soft breath, your heart quickening as his kisses trail lower. "You could make so much freakin’ money, Rafe,” you say, your voice a little breathless. Rafe grins against your skin, “Could I, now?” His voice is a teasing drawl as his lips move along your skin, causing a ripple of warmth to spread through you. You laugh softly, leaning back against him. “I’m serious!"
“So am I,” he whispers, his kisses slow and deliberate. His hands tighten slightly on your waist, his touch firm but tender. But just as you start to sink into the moment, Mabel lets out a whine, breaking through the intimate bubble. You both pause, exchanging a look before bursting into quiet laughter. Rafe pulls away first, shaking his head as he glances at Mabel. “Perfect timing, huh?” he says, his smirk playful but affectionate.
You walk over to Mabel, scooping her into your arms as she quiets down instantly, snuggling into your chest. “Guess we’re not the only ones who need attention,” you joke, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Rafe grins, his eyes following you. “She’s just jealous,” he says, tossing a towel into the beach bag. Rafe smirks, watching the two of you, his earlier intensity replaced with something softer. You laugh, bouncing Mabel lightly in your arms as she grabs onto your bikini strap with her tiny hand.
“Can you blame her? You spoil me,” you tease, glancing up at him. Rafe leans against the counter, his eyes never leaving you. “I’ll think about that deal,” he says, his voice a little more serious now. “Sounds like it could be good… for all of us.” You nod, bouncing Mabel lightly in your arms. “You’ll figure it out. You always do.” You say, brushing Mabel's hair. Rafe steps closer, wrapping one arm around your waist, pulling both you and Mabel into his chest as he presses a soft kiss to your head.
“Yeah,” he says quietly, his eyes meeting yours with a knowing look. “We’ll see.” You can tell, though, from the determined glint in his eyes that he already knows what he’s going to do.
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targaryen-dynasty · 9 months ago
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REDAMANCY.
Cregan Stark x female Targaryen!Reader (Part 4 here)
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From the very beginning on you’ve been hesitant to accept your younger brother’s offer to return to the capital for your child to receive his blessings. And when you‘re finally on the way, it’s your husband‘s duty to take care of you.
WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT-MDNI; p in v, lactation kink, lactating, pregnant sex, pregnancy, slight breeding kink, praise kink, slight degrading, angst, fluff
WORDS: 3.3 K
NOTES: Redamancy means A love returned in full; an act of loving the one who loves you, and let me tell you: these two are in love. Thanks to @sylasthegrim, it‘s always good to know you help me with my zero grasp on English!
✖️ 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
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Ravens from Winterfell flying all the way down to King’s Landing has always taken quite some time. And therefore it was no wonder you were surprised that one of your younger brother’s ravens reached the castle not long after you'd informed him you were with child, inviting you to birth it in the Red Keep for it to receive the young king’s blessings.
Being the ever dutiful Lord of House Stark, there was no way your husband would refuse the offer, and once your pregnancy had crossed the seventh moon mark, a carriage and your husband’s entourage were sent south.
From the very beginning on you’ve been hesitant to accept the offer. Westeros’ capital has brought nothing but pain and grief to you, and you’re afraid coming back ruins the comfort and peace you’ve found far, far away from the castle in the North, in Winterfell. But a part of you misses and longs for your siblings and the part of your family that’s still left, hence it didn’t take too much convincing from your husband.
You’ve lost count of the days you spent in that damned carriage by now, solely accompanied by your maids as your dear husband rides at the front of his entourage, joining his men on horseback. But there’s one thing all days have in common: it’s you being exhausted beyond relief once night comes.
For the longest time you thought your unborn babe to be no-fussy and calm, which proved to be false just one week into the travel. It’s restless, kicking and moving especially when you finally find rest in the bed of the receptive inn you stay in for the night. Your feet are swollen, just like your breasts, and your body provides milk as though the babe has been long born already, and all you crave at this point is for the pregnancy to be over already.
As the wheelhouse comes to a stop, you rub your swollen bump with a sigh, looking toward the door with heavy footsteps approaching. Your beloved husband opens the door, and even though he won’t admit it, he looks just as exhausted as you do.
“Is it time?” you ask, slowly rising to your feet with another sigh. You place your small hand in his large one, allowing him to help you out.
He nods, bringing a hand to the small of your back. “Indeed. We have reached the crossroads. From here we are only ten days away from King’s Landing, which means the end of our journey is in sight,” he replies. “How are you and our son feeling?”
Cregan guides you away from the wheelhouse, escorting you through the crowd of his men towards a large inn sitting right where the river road crosses the kingsroad. And from old tales of your uncle you know it has to be the Bellringer Inn, a place where even your great-grandfather and great-grandmother have stayed at before.
“We do not yet know if this babe will be a boy or a girl, husband,” you chastise him in a teasing manner.
“You are right, we do not,” he says. “But I feel it in my bones. Just call it a father’s intuition.”
You roll your eyes at his words and nudge his ribs with your elbow, yet there also pulls a smile at the corners of your lips. He chuckles at that. “Careful, my love, I am not as nimble as I used to be.”
Shaking your head, you giggle softly. “Do not tell me that you are an old man now, Lord Stark.”
As you make your way through the courtyard and towards the inn, you can feel the curious glances of the passerby; a man of Cregan’s caliber always drew the attention toward him, just like your hair did. But you’re unbothered by it all. You carry a piece of your husband within you, and that thought fills you with a sense of fulfillment and pride.
He looks for the innkeeper as you reach for his hand, pulling it from your back around your frame, squeezing it softly. “Might you join me tonight? I know that you can not leave your men alone, but one night will surely do no harm. I must admit that I have hardly found sleep without your warmth for the past weeks.”
With a gentle, intimate gesture, Cregan brushes his fingers over your swollen bump, before pulling you against his side. “How can I ever be expected to refuse anything my beautiful wife asks of me? Of course I will join you tonight.” Leaning a bit closer toward you, he adds with a quiet whisper: “Your presence has been missed in my bed as well. The nights feel cold and lonely without you by my side.”
Heat crawls onto your cheeks at the proximity and the slight implication that comes with his words, solely interrupted when a stout man with a bushy beard but otherwise pleasant demeanor walks around the corner and welcomes you two.
Upon Cregan’s inquiry about the availability of a room, he hands over the keys and leads you toward your place of retreat for the night. More than once have you told Cregan you’re perfectly fine with sleeping in a tent with him, yet he always came back to your delicate condition, stating he only wants the best for you and his unborn child, and you eventually have given up and accepted it.
The room is decent. Not as big as your chambers at home, but still larger than what you’ve slept in for the last few weeks. Your maids already scurry into the room to bring some of your belongings and clothes to get you ready for the night, while Cregan leans in to kiss your temple. “Let me arrange for my man to sleep outside the inn for the night,” he mutters against your skin. “And then we shall spend the night in warm beds.”
Even with your maids bustling around you, you can’t help but feel a flicker of excitement at his words. The prospect of sharing the night with him is enough to make you forget the soreness of your swollen curves that has become a constant companion over the past few moons.
“I will freshen up in the meantime,” you say, leaning into his touch before he pulls away to take care of his men’s sleeping arrangements for the night. Once everything was adjusted in the chambers, your maids moved to help you out of your clothes, but you refused them, having planned something very special.
Standing in front of the small window, overlooking a stable with a thatch roof and a bell tower, you all but admire how quietly Cregan opens the door, and with the lock falling right into place behind him, the room grows even quieter and the atmosphere becomes charged with anticipation.
“Is everything sorted?” you ask, looking at him from over your shoulder.
“All set,” your husband replies with a low voice as he approaches you.
He comes to tower over your frame from behind, moving his hands over your hips up to your waist. Lifting your head, your eyes lock with his. “Alone at last, hm?” There’s a sultry smile on your lips now, and you gently reach behind you to cup his cheek with one hand. “Now you’re all mine for the night.”
You lean against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breaths against your back. Cregan seizes the opportunity and brushes your hair over one shoulder before he presses his lips to the crook of your neck. The touch makes you sigh, stirring something inside of you you have had to keep at bay for quite some time. When he brings his large hands to your swollen breasts, fondling them through the thick fabric of your dress, you can’t help but moan, the slight squeezing aiding against the heaviness.
But then his hands and lips leave your body, and he slightly leans around you to look at you – or rather your breasts – and you immediately know the reason why.
The gray fabric has become damp under his touch, two dark spots prominent in the front of it. While it brings a bit of shame to your cheeks, the low rumble that escapes his chest sends a fire straight down between your legs. “I should have warned you I started leaking a fortnight ago,” you admit ashamedly, biting your bottom lip.
“I quite enjoy the sight of it, you know,” he says, voice laced with a combination of awe, adoration and burning need. His hands shift to the lace in the back of your dress. “But let us put this to good use.”
The dress comes undone with ease, falling to the floor in a puddle around your feet. Damp spots are decorating your smallclothes, but this time you don’t mind the sight. Cregan’s hands now roam over your body, tracing the curve of your waist and your growing bump.
Although you know exactly what it is his words are meant to imply, you choose to tease him. “And what is it you have in mind right now, hm?”
His gray eyes briefly flicker to the bed close to you, before meeting yours again. “I have a few things in mind. But for now…” He cups your chin, tilting your head up so he can claim your lips in a slow, deep kiss that’s full of desire and passion. It makes you feel as though the air is sucked right out of your lungs by him, as if you can’t survive without his lips on yours. “How about we make the most of this night, my love?”
“I’m all yours,” you breathe against his lips.
His large hands roam your curves, helping you out of your undergarments, until they settle at your thighs, wrapping around them to effortlessly hoist you up. Although Cregan is quite the bull of a man and appears to be a brute, he possesses a tenderness you wouldn’t expect from him, gently keeping your body against his and lying you down on the bed not far away just as carefully.
Soft, gentle kisses are pressed to your collarbones, igniting a fire within you that has been smoldering for too long. As his fingers glide over your skin with featherlight touches, leaving a burning trail behind, he finds his hands drawn to your full breasts, cupping and holding them, and eventually squeezing them.
More droplets of your milk trickle into his calloused palms, wetting his skin, but he does not care–not when he has you writhing and whimpering beneath him at just the faintest of touches.
Your husband’s eagerness would have almost made you chuckle, watching him rise from the bed to rid himself off his clothes hastily, if it wouldn’t match your own desire and greediness. With his breeches falling to the ground, his cock stands to full attention, hard enough for it to almost seem painful.
His hungry gazes devours your bare form, tall frame slightly hunched forwards as his chest rises and falls with heavy breaths.
“Will you just stand there and watch, my wolf?” you tease, propping yourself up on your elbows. “What happened to ‘let us put this to good use’?”
It’s the teasing lilt in your voice that pulls him out of his stupor like a wave, the chuckle he releases low and throaty. “You are a temptress, my love,” he replies. “You are lucky I am a man of my word.”
“Then touch me,” you whine, words coming out more desperate than actually intended.
He doesn’t need any more encouragement. Slowly approaching the bed, Cregan bows forwards and grabs one of your feet. He lifts your leg and starts to trail sloppy, open mouthed kisses along the inside of your leg, occasionally nibbling on the skin of your inner thigh.
Your back slightly arches off the mattress, body thrumming with desire. Entangling your hands in his dark curls, you use the grip as reigns to where you want him most, but your husband acts completely unfazed, not allowing you to tug him higher up.
He takes his time, kissing and nibbling your thighs, before he boldly presses a kiss to the apex of your legs, tongue briefly dragging through your folds. It elicits a shudder in its wake, and you can’t stifle a moan.
Making his way up, he licks your navel, and eventually traces the curve of your full breast, circling your hardened bud. Cregan laps up every drop of milk that oozes out of your bud like nothing else than a starved wolf, the edge of his teeth applying just a faint pressure to the sensitive skin to stimulate the flow.
But when his other hand comes up to fondle and squeeze your other breast, that’s the moment you lose your composure, shamelessly smothering him with your breasts. “Gods, Cregan…” you whimper, immediately bringing you relief. There isn’t even time to waste a thought about the indecency of it all, not when it feels just so right.
It’s your mewls, your whispered whines and moans, the sound of you saying his name in such a desperate manner that drives him to continue. “You make me ache for you,” he rasps against your skin, voice thick with desire. Your husband never falters to ignite a fire inside of you with his words, especially when there’s an innuendo hidden between his praises.
Bringing his hand from your breast down between your bodies, he aligns himself with you, dragging the tip of his cock through your folds in a way that makes you bite back a moan and grind against him. You grip his dark curls harshly as he finally eases inside, pushing into you inch by inch, agonizingly slow to make sure you feel him enter you.
His suckling falters with the tightness of your walls embracing him, overwhelmed by pure bliss and a feeling he’s missed for the past few weeks.
Every gasp and whine that escapes you only serves to embolden him further, continuing to tease and taste your breast with unrivaled enthusiasm. It juxtaposes the slow, sloppy thrusts of his hips, and brings you two different kinds of sensations at once.
Cregan has made himself home between your legs, rocking his hips leisurely back and forth. He has dropped his weight on one elbow and leant his upper body to the side, determined to not put any weight on your swollen bump. His lips are firmly wrapped around your bud while his hand teases the other, pinching and squeezing it between his fingers. The proximity is unmatchable, feeding into your constant desire to be as close to him as possible.
You can practically watch him lose every ounce of self control, his suckling becoming more intense and the thrusts growing in determination. His groans and grunts are muffled, and droplets of your milk trickle idly down his chin, getting lost in the dark, coarse hairs.
You fully expect him to say something when he releases your bud, but he’s far too eager to get his fill again. Pinching the perky bud of your other breast harshly, droplets of milk run down the curve of it, only to be traced by his tongue, liking a flat stripe over your skin. He chokes on a groan as the sight has you clenching tightly around his hard cock.
“Please– do not stop,” you whimper, applying a bit of pressure to his head to urge him towards your breast again. “... not yet.”
Dark-blown eyes suddenly flicker up to meet yours, and a shuddered breath leaves your lips. “My my, what a greedy wench I have for a wife,” he chuckles to himself. You don’t take offense, but the statement does make you duck your head and bite your bottom lip sheepishly. “I do not intend to.”
Despite the teasing, it’s obvious your pleas fall upon eager ears as he heeds your command and closes his lips around your bud again. Every hungry pull of his lips draws more and more milk from you, and while relief makes itself known in your breasts, a different kind of pressure starts to settle in the pit of your belly.
Squeezing him so well, you make it impossible for Cregan to move on his own accord, and quickly take over, rolling your hips against his. It’s a race for completion, making your pearl throb with anticipation.
The coarse hairs of your husband’s beard drag over your sensitive skin with his eager suckling, tickling you and causing you to arch against him even more. You have your arms wrapped around his neck at this point, keeping him tightly against you.
A string of yesses falls past your lips like a chant, and the pace of your hips increases as far as your bump allows you to. Your mind grows hazy with pleasure, until your peak washes over you with a loud gasp.
You haven’t noticed Cregan watching you through it all, too focused on the sensations coursing through your body. His gaze is mesmerized, clearly relishing in the relief that’s etched onto your features and the way your walls flutter around his cock.
He pulls back, droplets of milk resting in the corners of his lips, and lifts his body to tower over you. The thrusting of his hips grows sharper now, determined to help you through your pleasure.
“That’s it,” he rasps, one hand resting on the mattress next to your head while the other gropes at your now relieved breasts.
“Once this pup is born,” he emphasized the words by rolling your sore bud between his index finger and thumb, drawing out just a few more droplets of milk. “I shall put another in you to keep you round with my seed.”
Your head grows dizzy, lightheaded even, and you can’t do more than whimper and whine through your peak, not fully comprehending what he’s said.
Cregan snaps his hips into yours once, twice before he topples over the edge with a loud groan, his throbbing cock spending itself deep inside of you. Cupping your breast, his fingers dig harshly into your flesh.
You continue to roll your hips against his, prolonging his pleasure. Switching roles, it’s now your turn to milk him for every drop, taking everything his cock spills inside of you. Every muscle in his body tenses, until eventually, he collapses to the side, careful not to put his weight on your swollen bump.
With his cock slowly becoming flaccid again, the sensation of his seed leaking out of your cunt is more apparent, causing heat to spread throughout your body. If it wasn’t for you carrying his child already, you would have mounted him to make sure his seed would bear fruit.
Cregan eventually lies down on his back, and you seize the chance to rest your head on his chest. It’s hard to keep your eyes open as his hand softly entangles into your hair, scratching your scalp in the manner that usually lulls you to sleep. His breath is slower now, his chest rising and lowering your head.
“I can not bear to spend another night without you by my side,” you all but whisper, bringing a hand to his stomach.
Your finger trails the contours of his muscles, before following the dark trail of coarse hairs down.
“You needn‘t worry about that,” he says. “We shall not stay in King’s Landing for too long. And I highly doubt that anyone could get me out of your chambers during the time we stay there. Once we arrive, we shall stay together.”
Nodding your head slowly, you hum a ‘mh-mh‘, too engrossed in the feeling of his hand in your hair and the other rubbing soothing circles over your back. Having trouble staying awake, you’re hardly able to process his next words, already drifting off to sleep.
“Let us sleep now, my love. We have another tiresome day ahead of us.“
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Cregan Taglist: @nats-whore @aemondsbabe
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