#forget everything as soon as im meant to do it forget that i have assignments

[vee-lociraptor]

bad and useless forever. incurable

[strxbrymochi]

random when you're sick jaemin drabble

pairing: jaemin x reader (i tried to make it gen neutral djsjsjs)

words: like less than 1k ish??

warnings: mentions of sickness, illness, id say it be too close to home fr

synopsis: basically you're sick and jaemin's here to comfort you as much as he can long distance style.

note: a random ass drabble i came up w as im lying in bed sick for the 4th day and after a conversation i had with my mom bc i needed an outlet lol (its like 99% based on real life events other than the fact that i unfortunately do not have a jaemin with me 💔)

you absolutely despised being sick. okay, maybe sometimes you would be okay with it because it served as a formidable excuse to get out of work or your responsibilities for a couple days but that was when "sick" constituted to simply a cold or a fever that passes over the next day, not when you're tied down to the bed and the toilet every second of every day.

you wake up one day to shivers, brushing it off, you continue on with your day, heading over to work. on your way to work, you start feeling dizzy, nausea hitting you. you take a pill to calm down and make your way to your shift. today, you were working at a small fast food chain restaurant and if things couldn't get any worse, you were assigned to deal with the blowtorch. the heat from the fire and small space rushing all the way to your head but you push through, making it to the very end of your 3 hour shift.

making your way to your next appointment, you scavenge for food to hopefully give you back your appetite. you haven't eaten a proper decent meal all day; only crackers before you drank your pill. oh, and did i forget to mention, you headed into work with a 38 degree fever; claiming "to be fine" because you needed the hours to sustain your living expenses in a foreign country all alone.

at your meeting, you're met with fatigue. a wave of exhaustion rushes over you and coughing fits take over. your brain barely processing what was being discussed, only speaking when directly being asked a question. but still, you push through, ensuring everyone around you that you were going to be okay. that it will all brush away soon and that you really are just tired. your fever has reached close to 40 degrees.

you sigh, throwing your phone on your bed. on any other day you would have loved to talk to jaemin, especially now that you two were oceans apart. it killed you to know that if only you hadn't moved he would be right there and you could see him in person. that alone would've been all the medicine you need to get better. but alas, life had other plans.

the next couple days consisted of sleep, wake up, repeat. occassional trips to the toilet and visits from coughing fits disrupting your sleep that make you sound like you're entering into an entirely different dimension. you had absolutely no energy-- to eat, to move, to do anything really. when you said you needed a break, this wasn't what you meant.

jaemin would call you, or attempt to call you and you would pick up, if you were awake and if you were in the mood to speak. he would send you daily messages to drink your medicine, eat meals, get some rest. you knew he was worried and it killed you not to be able to ensure some type of reassurance everything was going to be fine. you knew if he found out what you had been actually doing, you would never hear the end of it.

one night you had awoken from your nap struggling to find something to eat, let alone the energy to consume anything. at this point, your stomach is practically bounded to an electrical heating compress to temporarily soothe your pains. you weren't sure if you were getting any better. your fever was relatively gone sure, but the coughs, stomach pains and diarrhea remained. let alone, that morning you almost passed out in the toilet, hearing muffled, ears ringing, vision blurred. all you could do is pray.

well, at least your sense of humor was back.

---

LOL such an abrupt ending idk i just needed an outlet to express how im currently feeling and whats been going on these past few days so if theres a delay with mtt or my other stuff i apologize once again 😭😭 need all the prayers and support i can get fr; being sick is one thing, being sick in a foreign country alone is another story. for anyone else who has gone thru or is currently going thru same thing, i hope yalls feel better soon and that know things will get better! bc i know thats what i need rn 🫡

[infiltracion]

INTEL 🞂 FILE 003 🞂 HOBBIES & SKILLS.

starting off with the most obvious hobby of her’s: tech. since she was a child, sombra has always been interested by tech. her fascination began at very young age when she was given an old, dingy laptop for school assignments. she definitely snuck it out of the school and kept it for herself to use in the orphanage. this was where she began to learn her most valuable skills - programming (aka hacking) and social engineering. you can learn so much on the internet! (derogatory)

her strong suit has always been in software- she learned the inner workings of a computer and how to troubleshoot any problem, get into places she wasn’t meant to go without getting caught, hide her location, etc.. if you give her a program and tell her to figure it out, she can tell you everything about it within the hour.

that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know about hardware, though. the intricacies of hardware was something she picked up soon after her interest in hacking was sparked. she began by dismantling and reassembling electronic devices like phones, tablets, cameras, computers. much of her late childhood was spent learning as much as she possibly could on her own about how these things worked the way they did. it was during this very experimental phase where she created the first prototype of what would eventually become the cybernetics she has today.

she is also canonically skilled enough with hardware to use the schematics of lena's chronal accelerator to create her own version of it that essentially teleports her which means not only did she had to understand the complex tech that went behind the workings of the accelerator, but she knew enough to modify it for her own purposes. also, pretty sure she's one of the only people who's figured out teleporter tech for her own use besides satya unless i'm forgetting somebody.

related to the above, she can type absurdly fast. like god DAMN everybody is lucky she tends to use touchscreen keys because if you get her on a mechanical keyboard it sounds like a constant keysmash. basing this off of myself because everybody constantly says i sound like this and im at a 130wpm speed so. she's probably around there or faster.

she knows so many coding languages she literally learned these for fun as a kid. javascript? she’s probably developed her own coding language for her personal systems too.

next hobby… so i know this is a punch to the face but just. i think she likes classic literature. shakespeare shit. is this because there's a potential reference to her in havana on one specific screen where they quoted twelfth night, specifically a scene with the character olivia? absolutely! i don't need to justify this! she also likes sci-fi and the like, which is a given, and she has so many opinions on it. don't get her started

anyways, i think that sombra’s favorite subjects in school were spanish, art, science and math. in spanish class they read and wrote plenty of literature and she found herself really enjoying the older stuff. something about period pieces hit considering how futuristic the world was + she was in a war torn region that hardly had limited, generator powered electricity for most of her upbringing. weird sense of familiarity + escapism. she enjoys similar historical themes in other media like television and movies, but she likes it best in books. she was very well read in her younger years, but nowadays most of her reading tends to be news articles and restricted files. still fun for her, but it’s not the fiction she grew up loving.

on a similar line of thought, i think sombra really likes art. she did a lot of sketching and painting when she was younger, dabbling in various types of art. her favorite mediums have always been traditional pen & paper and graffiti. she can do stylized people and animals, but her favorite things to do are landscapes, objects, and letters. a common theme with these hobbies is that she hardly gets to indulge in them anymore. it’s been longer than she can remember since she was able to sit down and draw, write, read, etc.

she did a lot of writing in her youth, mostly for school but she also indulged in personal writing that she would never show anybody. it was basically fanfic of shit she read or watched because yeah. mood. now any writing she does is in the non fiction territory like articles, e-mails, essays, etc. etc.

whatever time isn’t spent working typically gets spent watching tv or movies. she keeps up with the newest stuff, but she has a soft spot for “older” media (aka… shit we watch now). she canonically likes star wars (she named her stuffed bear artuito which is … R2-D2) which would be really old by their standards. she loves older scifi the cheesy effects and all that are just … chefs kiss. she also likes more historical period works too, you’d be surprised at what she’ll pay attention to. she has a lot to say about the things she watches and could go on for hours with analysis but she doesn't cuz that's some nerd shit and she is NOT a nerd.

this wasn't exactly a huge hobby for her but she did dance pretty often with the people around her, especially in her teen years when she started going to parties n all that. she wouldn't consider that hobby territory though even tho she does like it.

[leafcabbage]

Hello!! Hunger Games anon here and yet again leaving a question here before I forget lol. (Again, sorry if I’m piling these up on you 😭)

In terms of the DRDI lot, during the time when everyone was in district 13 and the second rebellion was in full swing, what kind of roles did everyone have? Like who was the ones going out on field missions and that stuff vs who stayed back in district 13 if that makes any sense ?

hi hi sorry about the delayed answer its due to i had to use my brain lol but here you go! dont worry about piling them up on me, i just happen to be interacting with the outside world more than usual with delays my replies /lh (thats in no way meant to be sarcastic at you its a little dig at myself for never going anywhere haha)

okay, so, i am heavily using the hunger games wiki right now because despite my knowledge of the books/movies it has been long enough that i need to brush up on them... gonna read the books again soon though. though i suppose i should stop apologizing for inaccuracies in an AU haha

tubbo's the mockingjay. he's the face of everything. he's out there in the field at times, and filming stuff at others. he's got bargaining power, which he uses to his advantage. his role basically takes over katniss's but still not exactly the same. but the rebellion needs a face and he's it

tommy is pretty much on the exact same assignments and stuff as tubbo, his job is to play the right hand man, the best friend, everything that everyone expects from him. basically he does what tubbo does but is still seen as less important. he's more expendable. or would be if tubbo hadn't made it clear that if tommy dies, he's out.

wilbur... if i was going to compare him to anyone in the books it would be finnick. his entire focus at first is getting techno back. (and niki and ranboo of course but techno is who he's closest to). phil kind of keeps him sane. he isn't really doing much fighting or anything until techno is back, and then he pretty much sticks with him, wherever hes going

niki and jack did a lot of planning attacks and stuff. niki isnt really able to go out in the field until later on, so the two focus on helping from back in 13.

sneeg is also a good planner and goes on the rescue mission to get ranboo, but after that the majority of his focus is on helping them. he's really stubborn and doesnt really do whats asked of him, but tubbo's got bargaining powers and makes sure sneeg doesnt get shit for it. Someone has to be with ranboo as often as possible

ranboo... is mostly recovering. i dont know exactly where they end up yet, it would be interesting for them to end up in that final move toward the capitol, but im not sure how feasible it ends up being.

ive gotta think more on some of the others i think, there is a FULL cast out here dang. but thank you for asking!!! i always love answering this stuff :D

[littlemisslipbalm]

“your turn”

Harry Styles was a romantic. He hated weddings. Rori Williams was practical. She hated weddings, too. How could she deny a man who had just drunkenly confessed his love for her at a wedding? Even if it was completely and totally untrue.

A story of two semi-strangers to lovers with weddings, drunken confessions, and girls with two names.

gif has nothing to do with it but he looks fancy and i like it :) tpwk

Hi! this is for @meetmeinfleetwood to lovers fic challenge! and it’s a little cruel of me to post it today after those wedding pics came out but i have been working on this for awhile and tomorrow’s the deadline so if it’s too soon im sorry and if its just what you need enjoy! I used prompts 12 and 15! It’s my first ofc story which is a little strange for me but i wanted to use a name for this, but besides her hair and eye color and a name she’s pretty generic,,, idk thank you all for always reading and all of that. lmk what you think and reblogs are always really appreciated

Word Count: 9.3k | Warnings: drinking, swearing, implied? smut (couldn’t bring my heart to write any my apologies), harry being a silly drunk, mentions of being afraid of someone taking advantage of someone under the influence but ofc no! actual any misconduct -- a SITCH wedding!!! so cute ::))

Harry Styles was a romantic.

He loved love songs that professed their undying love for their significant other. He loved romance movies, rom coms especially, because they were happy and in love and he got to cry and laugh all in one. He loved writing his own songs about love and he loved spreading the idea of loving and treating others with kindness. He loved first dates and the relationships that sometimes sprouted out of them. He loved reading books about love and how to make it last. He loved poetry that waxed eloquent about love. He loved love.

He hated weddings.

Well, he hadn’t always hated weddings. In the beginning, they were like every other aspect of love, he loved them. But slowly, as he kept receiving announcements of engagement and wedding invitations and he kept not sending out letters of his own, his aversion grew.

Sure, he still loved going. He still wept for the happy couples when they committed themselves to each other. He still clapped profusely and danced to the dj or live band. He still tried to enjoy it. But with weddings he had a nagging sense in the back of his head reminding him that he still hadn’t found it yet. Each of his relationships had fallen short in some way as to not lead him to this destination. So when he sat at his assigned table at these various gatherings, he held a bit of apprehension, a bit of envy, about everything going on. He knew that his smiles were all a little forced and his laugh not quite genuine. His thoughts always managed to be controlled by his green-eyed monster that he always attempted to keep locked away. But at weddings, especially when the alcohol started flowing, he had a harder time controlling it.

Seeing all his friends getting together, getting married, and having children wore on him. Wore him thin more than he ever let on to anyone but his therapist. And his therapist couldn’t seem to give him a better answer than to be patient and not give up hope.

By 2021, Harry had decided that maybe he was just meant to be alone. Love was something he could admire, but it wasn’t meant for him. He could chase it, but it would never let him have it. He was unlucky in love and by Sarah and Mitch’s wedding in the Spring, he had come to terms with it.

He had even been optimistic for it, being Mitch’s Best Man and all had gotten his hopelessly romantic heart all aflutter. He was introduced to Sarah’s Maid of Honor, Renee Williams and she had been lovely. She was 31, a little older than Harry - but age wasn’t something that deterred him, and she had worked with Sarah in Los Angeles before Harry recruited Sarah for the band. They were best of friends and Sarah had known for a long time that Renee would be her Maid of Honor.

When Harry met Renee, he was sure that she was meant to be his person. She was beautiful and hilarious, her beauty mark at the side of her lip was so utterly unique he called her a “right Marilyn”. She insisted she was not a Marilyn Monroe type at all and had laughed. Harry had charmed her with his expert flirting and claimed that just because she was a brunette didn’t mean she was a Marilyn. She had smiled and bantered through the rehearsal dinner with him at her side. He was entranced, it had to be Renee, he had been so sure of it.

When Renee had walked down the aisle just before Sarah, Harry had been sure of it. When Renee had smiled at Harry as Mitch slipped on Sarah’s wedding band, Harry had been sure of it. When he had hooked his arm around hers as they walked down the aisle and into a foyer, Harry had been sure of it. When she laughed at his jokes while they waited for their wedding party photos to be taken, Harry had been sure of it.

When Renee walked up to Harry at the reception with another man wrapped around her, Harry wasn’t so sure of it anymore.

“Harry, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Corey,” Renee smiles giddily between the two men.

Harry’s eyes widen slightly at the word ‘boyfriend’ and he swallows harshly before blinking and putting on a sweet smile. He thrusts his right hand out for Corey to shake.

“Hullo, mate,” Harry says happily.

Corey greets Harry, extending his hand to meet Harry’s with a warm smile and a “how are you”. Harry laughs boisterously and takes a sip of his champagne flute. They shake hands with a firm up and down motion.

“Planning on getting really drunk,” Harry says in response to Corey’s question. “Have a great night, you two,” he finishes and stalks off for a refill.

Renee watches him go with a little bit of a confused look on her face. She sees him tilt his head back and finish his drink before turning to face her boyfriend and peck his cheek. She mumbles to him, “He’s a really nice guy, wouldn’t stop chatting my ear off the past few days. All these people must make him antsy.”

He nods back to her, “They must.”

Harry sidles up to the open bar, discarding his empty flute and exchanging it for a much stronger drink.

“Tequila. Neat...Please.” He sighs and runs a hand through his curls that are slowly becoming less and less coiffed. His fingers slide to the collar of his shirt and tug, attempting to loosen it a little.

“Rough night already?” Someone asks from beside him.

His face turns to them and sees a smiling brunette. Her eyes are big, larger than most eyes he’s come across. They’re brown with tinges of gold and green, likely making them hazel by her standard since most people prefer saying hazel eyes to brown. Her smile is bright and clean and if Harry hadn’t already heard her speak he would assume she was American from that smile. It was perfect, too perfect - the teeth both straight and blindingly white.

He raises his eyebrows at her and thinks about his response. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, leaving them parted, but he remains silent when the bartender hands him his tequila. Harry wraps a specifically less ringed hand tonight, he had forgone his ‘H’ and ‘S’ rings as well as the rest of them actually on his left hand. His right hand still had two: the large flashing lavender gemstone encrusted in a gold casing from Stevie Nicks on his middle finger and then a clean gold signet ring with little crosses on the sides on the adjacent ring finger. Every other finger was noticeably empty. So when he picks up the glass there is no familiar clink which draws the attention of himself.

The woman doesn’t pay any attention to his hand, she’s still waiting for him to respond to her question, as well as waiting for her other drink to be made. She was taking advantage of the two drink system and getting two for herself right now, so she didn’t have to come back until much later.

“You have no idea,” is how Harry decides to respond and then turns to leave. He forgets about the woman and sits at his assigned table for his entire drink, talking casually with the people who come to speak with him.

When he's finished, he goes back to the bar to order a second tequila. He thinks about the girl who had stared at him with her big brown eyes. How she had seen him and thought to ask how his night was when it seemed to be going to shit. And how he had blown her off with barely a glance. God, he could be such a prick. After he receives his drink, he forgets yet again and continues to drown his sorrows in the golden liquid that helps him numb the pain that he had once again missed out on his fairytale love story.

The girl Harry had run into sat in the corner of the ballroom for the majority of the night. She settled on just having that first round of drinks for herself and one glass of obligatory champagne during the toasts. Other than that, she had promised herself she wouldn’t get drunk and go off with a random stranger. This was not a wedding for that. This wedding couldn’t be for that. She just needed to keep her head low and try to have a semi-pleasant time.

When she was nursing her champagne through the toasts, the man at the bar caught her eye again. She knew who he was. He was the Best Man after all. Sarah talked about him a lot, even Renee after the past few days, but seeing him at the bar had been the first time she’d ever seen him up that close. It was strange, he was so human. So tangible in that moment. His shoulders shook with each breath he took. His fingers tapped as they waited for his drink. His green eyes blinked and darted around as he took in his surroundings and even looked at her. He simply was and it had startled her to see him in a slightly bewildered state at the bar, but again, she wasn’t one to judge.

Get through the wedding. Try to have a semi-pleasant time.

It was time for the Best Man’s speech. Renee had just given the Maid of Honor’s and now Harry was up. He stood up and wavered a little as he tried to stand up straight. The neat tequila likely makes his stance a little harder to maintain. Mitch looks up at Harry at his side and smiles fondly.

Harry raises one hand in an awkward wave while the other is planted firmly on the table.

“Hullo,” he starts, “I’m Harry and I’m the Best Man, but I’m sure you knew that already.”

The entire group of guests laugh wholeheartedly, taken by the talented young man.

“To start,” he stutters, his words slurring slightly from the alcohol he’s had, and his smile slithers into a smirk. “Let’s hear it for the bride and groom, the lovely Sarah and Mitch Jones!”

Queue the laughter again. Harry laughs too when Mitch slaps his arm playfully, he turns to look at him with a mock ‘what did I do wrong’ expression.

“I had a speech written out, took a week to write, made it nice and poetic for these two lovebirds, but it seems I’ve misplaced it,” he pats at his pockets and sighs before rubbing his forefinger at his bottom lip. “I hate weddings.”

Everyone laughs again, thinking he’s joking. Harry grimaces but it passes as a smile even though she can tell it doesn’t meet his eyes.

He rambles on for a few minutes about love and commitment, how this is just the beginning for Sarah and Mitch and everyone laughs at the appropriate times and just when he’s wrapping up, successfully stumbling through his messy mind, everyone begins to clap.

“To the happy couple…” queue applause, but she sees him say something else, it’s drowned out by the crowd cheering and clinking glasses again.

He sits back down, downing his champagne glass that’s been refilled twice already during the speeches. Mitch leans over and whispers something in Harry’s ear as he twists a hand through his hair. Harry shifts away from Mitch and gives him a look, telling Mitch that he’s fine.

The party goes on, a few more speeches, a few more glasses of champagne for Harry, a few more sighs from the girl in the back of the room.

She watches the first dance of Mitch and Sarah but once that part is over she slinks off. She’s got half a drink left and all she wants is to be alone. Tired of the party, tired of the people, tired of having to try to have a good time. The Rowland-Jones Party had rented the entire place out, so she wanders out of the main room and down a hallway until the music is a faint buzz in her ear. The air grows colder as the amount of people dwindles from over a hundred to one.

There’s a door to her right that has an intricate golden handle that she pulls down on. It opens quietly onto a similar ballroom that is slightly smaller than the one the party was going on in. It’s quiet and spacious, her steps echo as she enters on heeled feet. The clicking of her satin stilettos resonate against the linoleum. She walks to the center of the room and turns around herself, lifting her head to the light in the room. An ornate chandelier is still above her, it’s the same gold as the handle that let her in. Her eyes travel to the walls that contain swirls of gold as well, everything was encrusted in gold and splotchy vintage mirrors. It was beautiful and she saw herself in the reflection of one of those splotchy vintage mirrors and actually felt beautiful in that moment.

No one else saw her but herself and she thought she was beautiful, a fleeting thought as she watched her body move. No one to watch as her reflection swayed with her. Her lavender dress swished back and forth, the end of it brushing around her ankles. The tulle fabric climbed her torso, cinching at her waist and draping over her breasts. The sleeves fluttered over her shoulders and ended midway down her upper arm. The somewhat sheer material made her tan skin look all the more carmely in the golden light of the chandelier. Her pendant necklace was silver and glinted in the light as it sat evenly over her exposed clavicle and decolletage.

In the corner opposite of the door there was a single table with three chairs. It seemed whoever was meant to put things away had grown tired and left these out. She wasn’t complaining as she crossed the floor to take a seat. It was the perfect escape. It was quiet and not too cold in the room, which was especially nice since she had left her jacket in the coat room. What wasn’t so nice is that her phone had died and she had nothing to do in the room. It wasn’t horrible though, she had wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She just feared what would happen if she sat alone too long with no escape of the internet to drown those thoughts.

That contemplation was squashed with an unwitting solution not ten minutes later. She had been sitting at the table, sipping her drink occasionally and staring at the chandelier. Sighing with content that it was finally silent beside the clink of her melting ice cubes. The house mixed drink was strong, but with each passing second it grew more and more diluted. She considered herself completely sober.

She only questioned that when she noticed a second person in the room. She hadn’t heard them open the door, but she heard their loud footsteps shortly after.

He all but stumbled in and was entranced by the chandelier like she had been. He walks to the center in a similar fashion and twists around, only this time his balance isn’t as good as hers. He ends up on his ass, legs splayed in front of him and hands behind him only cushioning his fall a little. He lets out a huff, “Fuck.” He runs a hand over his face before bringing it down to look around the room again. His eyes are foggy with alcohol, everything hazy and slightly blurry. It feels like he’s moving with superspeed but as she watches him with a tilted head she wonders why he’s moving so slowly.  

He squints while looking around after a moment, running a hand through his thoroughly tousled hair. His tongue comes to wet his lips, but this time it's for a touch too long like he’s genuinely tasting the liquor on them. She raises her brows, observing him, her presence seemingly unknown.

“Oi, you!” He slurs the words and points lazily at her reclined in her chair. “Are you real?”

She half smiles and replies with a simple ‘yes’.

“I like your dress,” he says merely like he was stating a fact rather than giving a compliment. His hair falling into his eyes again despite him just pushing it back.

“Thanks.”

He makes his way to standing, his process rather ungraceful. He twists onto his hands and knees and begins to push himself up. He slips once before making it to full standing, he sways slightly and looks around again like he’s forgotten why he stood up. His eyes land on her again and he decides to make his way over to the table.

“You should probably sit,” she says, watching him splay his arms around him to keep his balance. She had seen him an hour and a half ago and he seemed fine, but now he seemed absolutely and utterly pissed.

“Thanks, mum,” he says as he thunks into the seat beside her, his hand waving off her suggestion.

Her brows raise at the slightly rude comment, but she leans back in her seat still observing him.

“Why do you hate weddings?” She asks once he’s settled and has his head propped up with one of his hands. She takes a sip of her drink as she watches him scan her face again, trying to see if he recognizes her.

His mind must come up empty, a vague memory of the bar slipping away without a second thought.

“It was a joke,” he shrugs.

“No it wasn’t,” she replies easily.

His eyes narrow and he leans forward a little shakily, “Who are you?”

“Aurora.” She licks at her own lips, a stray bit of liquid lingering on her lips.

“That’s a Disney princess name,” he says, unconvinced, how most drunk people were when you told them the truth.

“And my great-grandmother’s and mine,” she responds, a grin playing on her lips as she watches him think it over. “It’s wild how multiple people can have the same name. Did you know people can share a last name as well?”

He leans back in his chair now, unhappy with her snarky response.

“Isn’t that why we’re here, two people joining together and sharing the same last name now?” He threads his fingers as he speaks, mimicking something coming together.

“Yep,” She perks at the question he poses. “You still didn’t answer my question.” Her brows raise once playfully.

“What?” Harry seemed to have lost the plot, his fuzzy drunken brain choosing to forget the first thing she asked him while in this private ballroom of theirs.

“Why do you hate weddings?” She repeats, louder and with emphasis, the words echoing this time.

“Oh,” he looks up to the ceiling and blows air past his lips harshly, “S’ a long story.”

“We got all night,” she offers, and raises her glass to her lips once again.

“A night wouldn’t even cover half of it,” he ponders seriously, his mind reeling. “I’d rather talk about you.”

“Why me?”  She laughs like she’s just received the most delightful surprise.

“Because,” He starts and then sits quiet for a moment before leaning forward, elbows on the table as he peers at her, “I think I’m in love with you.”

“You only just met me,” she responds. “Not to mention, you’re drunk as fuck, Best Man. Just minutes ago I watched you stumble in here and truly fall on your ass.”

“Then tell me about yourself and I’ll explain my hatred for weddings.”

“You’re awfully good at bargaining for being this inebriated.”

“I never lose my charm, no matter how pissed I may be,” he smirks and gives a sloppy wink, hair falling in his face yet again.

She scoffs, but she is rather amused and intrigued by the man beside her. His tie now completely loosened, hair falling every which way, and his green eyes set on her. The shiny shoes he wore slipped around on the ground as he shuffled his feet below him like a child wanting to go play. She figured it was just his drunk brain trying to amuse himself or something. How could she deny a man who had just drunkenly confessed his love for her at a wedding? Even if it was completely and totally untrue. She at least had to entertain the foolish notion that maybe he actually was interested in getting to know her. If anything, it would help pass the time until she could go home.

“I’ll bite,” she relents.

The smirk doesn’t leave his face, it only widens, “Only if I can, too.”

“I wasn’t saying-”

“Shush, sh-sh-shush. I know that,” he holds a hand up at her, trying to get her to be quiet. He sways again, even in his seat he looks as if he could fall over at any moment. She wondered if he might not remember this tomorrow. “I was bein’...” he licks his lips in a pause, “suggestive.”

She laughs again, knowing his sober brain probably would have chosen a more articulate and suave word since ‘suggestive’ was rather tactless and more straight to the point. If she learned anything from all the conversations she overhead about him, Harry was definitely one for tact.

“You were something, that’s for sure,” she wraps a hand around Harry’s wrist, she draws the hand down from its hovering state and lays it against the table again. She withdraws her own hand back to her glass, her drink almost completely gone now.

He smiles, pleased with himself, but unaware that his charms had worn off with his exorbitant amount of alcohol consumed. At least on this girl they weren’t working. She had never been attracted to people who were too drunk to help themselves and she always hoped that’s how others felt too. She was thankful he had stumbled in on her rather than someone who didn’t feel the same way. It made her sick to think of what someone with evil intentions might do if they came across a babbling drunken version of Harry. Pushing those thoughts away since that wasn’t the case, she decided to pat his hand once just in reassurance to herself and him that this was really happening.

“I’m twenty-five.” She states.

Harry nods, a small smile on his lips now rather than a smirk as he watches her again. He liked how smoothly she moved rather than the rest of the world in his drunken eyes, everything else was choppy and fast. She was elegant and fluid, calming even.

“I love love,” Harry says, eyes remaining on hers, no trace of a joke in his tone, “And it hates me.”

“That can’t be true,” she squints at him, a frown gracing her face for a moment at the sadness she sees in his watery eyes. Not crying watery, just watery from his drunken state.

He says nothing, waiting for her to offer more information about herself before he says anything else. This was the deal after all. She quickly realizes why he isn’t responding and sighs, conversation with drunks was tedious already, but Harry seemed determined to make it even harder.

“I’m from California.”

“They always are,” Harry mutters to himself. He ignores her hum of a question, asking what he just said with a simple sound. “All my friends, they’re either getting married or they’re already married and got kids on the way or whatever. They all found love and I’m just here with fuck all.”

She sincerely doubts what the drunken man is telling her right now, but she knows how to play the game now to get more information. “I hate my job,” she states.

“Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed, like I fucked up one too many times and now I’m doomed to never find love.”

Her eyes widen at this, he sounds so damn sad and she wishes she could take his pain away. She knew what a good guy and she couldn’t imagine why he would deserve to feel this way. No one deserved to feel like they weren’t worthy of love. His sad state truly almost brought her to tears. She’s there in a stunned silence and Harry is confused why she hasn’t said anything more about herself. It was her turn.

“What’s something else about you?” He asks, his hand fiddling with itself on the table. She notices once again that there aren’t as many rings on his fingers as what she thought was usual.

She licks her lips and reaches her hand forward. She grasps Harry’s fiddling hand and stops his movement. “I feel sorry that you feel this way, no one deserves the kind of pain you’re inflicting on yourself. I’m very very sorry for you, Harry.”

“That’s not really…” He trails off, losing his focus on her face and instead looking at their hands touching. The feeling is so intense in his buzzing body. Her touch was so calming compared to the electric feeling in his body. It felt nice.

“Can I ask you a different question and then I’ll tell you something no one knows about me?”

He nods eagerly.

“And you can’t dodge the question, you really have to answer it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“What did you say at the end of your speech? It got drowned out by applause, but I saw you say something.”

“You noticed?” He asks kind of surprised, then scratches at his eyebrow. He sees her slight glare and knows to get to his answer. “Asked when it’d be my turn…like to fall in love, y’know.”

She sighs, saddened yet again by his words. “Okay, well, here’s my secret... I hate weddings, too.”

Harry’s eyes light up, maybe he really was in love. She purses her lips and pulls back from him.

“I think you’re my soulmate,” he breathes out, again making a false confession. His drunken brain wants it to be true. He’s desperate for his search to be over, for her to be his person.

She smiles that same sad smile that she keeps getting when he says these sad things to her.

“I assure you, I am not, Best Man.”

He looks at her confusedly. She was beautiful, she was clarity to him. Her brown hair was straight with a little wave in it, like it was straightened for the occasion but never truly that way otherwise. It flowed around her head and shoulders, but she had it tucked behind both ears. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone, she just simply was beautiful. Her sun tanned skin looked soft under the golden glow and Harry was sure she was an angel or something.

“Why not?” He insists, leaning forward.

She stands up from her seat. He follows clumsily behind her, standing as well. He was still taller than her even in her high heels. He smiled like a lovesick child down at her, his eyes as big as the moon. She bites at her lip as she sees him look at her so lovingly, so misguidedly. Then she leans up towards his face, up on her tiptoes and past his lips. Her hands hold him straight with them curled in his suit’s lapels. She presses a sweet and gentle kiss to his cheek, closer to his jaw than anything.

“Good night, Harry,” she whispers against his skin before pulling away.

His eyes flutter open, his looks at her confusedly, slightly unaware that he had closed his eyes at all.

“Good night…” He had already forgotten her name, something with an A...or was it an O? He’d have to ask Sarah and Mitch about the girl who had talked to him in the empty golden ballroom, the girl he had fallen in love with. He was certain. She was the one - if only he could find out her name. If he remembered this at all or if he just thought it was a dream.

She leaves the room before him and as she leaves she wonders if she maybe should have made sure he was alright, but she figured their talk was sobering enough. The night was ending and she had a sneaking suspicion that there were plenty of people here tonight looking out for him.

-

Harry forgot about the girl in the ballroom. Or at least he wasn’t sure if it was a dream or reality. He had woken up at Tom’s place where he had said he would stay after the wedding reception so he hadn’t gone home with a girl. He couldn’t remember her name so he couldn’t really ask anyone about her and he didn’t exactly have a lot of people he could ask. He wanted to ask Sarah and Mitch, but they were already off on their honeymoon and he was one of those people who would never bother a couple on their honeymoon. He was too embarrassed to ask Renee and anyone else for that matter.

So, instead, he forgot. Harry forgot about her for three weeks until Sarah and Mitch returned. He had called them for a hike and lunch the moment their plane had landed. He had missed some of his best friends. It was a lull in the year, where he wasn’t touring or in the studio, just living and writing when he felt like it. So maybe he was in need of some inspiration.

“Ah! The Jones’!” He exclaims as he walks up to their parked car at the head of the trail.

Sarah laughs and Mitch rolls his eyes, half-heartedly since he’s just as happy to see Harry as Harry is to see him.

“I missed you,” Mitch says as he brings Harry in for a hug.

“Don’t let the missus hear that,” Harry tuts while he sends a wink over Mitch’s shoulder to Sarah.

“It’s all he could talk about for the past few weeks,” Sarah jokes as she goes in for a hug with Harry. “How do you think Harry is? Hope he’s eating? I miss Harry.” She mimics Mitch’s voice.

Mitch shakes his head shyly, a smile spreading on his face after a moment. “That. Is not true at all,” he assures Harry, “But you do look a little thinner. What have you been eating?”

Harry elbows him with a grin, “I’m fine. Been bored so I’ve just been filling the time with working out.”

They start their ascent up the hill and into the canyon. Mitch nods, his worry for his friend subsiding momentarily before he says something strange.

“I’ve been wanting to ask, but you’ve been gone, about a girl at the wedding.”

“Oh?” Sarah gives Mitch a knowing look.

“Yeah, well the thing is, I’m not sure if she was real or not. I think she was real, but I was so drunk, there’s so many bits missing in my memory.”

Sarah and Mitch both laugh. “You were very drunk, H,” Mitch confirms.

Harry ignores him, “I even asked her if she was real and she said yes, but y’know people can lie in dreams. All I remember is she was amazing and she had a princess name, I think.”

Sarah thinks about the guest list. “No princess names that I can think of. What did she look like?”

Harry squints ahead of them, his sunglasses pushing his curls back on the top of his head. “She had straight brown hair, not long or short. She said she was, uh, twenty-five. She was in lavender, I think.”

“You think a lot,” Mitch interjects which earns him a glare from Harry.

Harry thinks about this part that he remembered vividly, how she had been so confident that he wasn’t. He adds, “...And I told her I was in love with her.”

“Oh god, Harry,” Sarah sighs.

Mitch gives Harry an apologetic smile.

“She didn’t buy it, but she didn’t run off either. We talked for awhile.”

“Maybe it was a dream,” Sarah says.

“Okay, let’s see,” Mitch grows to be the leader of the investigation, wanting everything for his best friend to find the love he knew he deserved. “Twenty-five year old brunettes at our wedding who are single. C’mon there weren't that many people there.”

Sarah thinks about it again. “Renee’s sister is twenty-five. I don’t remember what she was wearing, I hardly saw her all night,” she pauses, “Which is strange since she wasn’t on the job for once.”

“What do you mean ‘on the job’?” Harry asks curiously, remembering his girl saying she hated her job.”

“She’s a wedding planner,” Sarah says, glancing at him because she was almost sure that Renee’s sister was not who Harry was talking about. “But she had referred me to someone else for the wedding, she consulted sometimes and got us a discount, but said she didn’t like working with people she knew personally.”

Harry nodded, how could Renee’s sister be his girl? How could a wedding planner hate weddings? And wouldn’t it be all the more awkward if the girl was Renee’s sister? Renee’s little sister, could it be? He had no clue.

“I don’t think it’s her, though,” Sarah gives a half-smile, “She’s not super...uh, how do I say this?”

As Sarah says “touchy-feely,” Mitch interjects.

“She’s pretty cold-hearted. She’s relatively nice, but what makes her such a good wedding planner is she doesn’t get caught up in the sentimentality of it, she just understands other people’s emotions and knows how to make them feel amazing.”

“That’s a little harsh,” Sarah looks at Mitch with a strong glare. After all, he was talking about her best friend’s little sister.

“Well, what’s her name?” Harry insists, semi-off put, but knowing her secret made him think it was possible for Renee’s sister and his ballroom girl to be the very same.

“Rori Williams, think it’s short for something else, but I don’t know, as long as I’ve known her she goes by Rori.” Sarah gives Harry a sad smile and it reminds him of his mystery girl.

“Do you think I could meet her or something? I just want to know if it’s her.” Harry says as they reach the first peak on their hike. He looks out at the view from there, Los Angeles was green for once, but he knew it would quickly fade to brown and tan as the spring plants died off again from the summer heat.

“Pretty sure she’s off working on some destination wedding right now. She doesn’t like being bothered when she’s working,” Sarah gives Harry a look for two reasons as she says that. One, because she knows his next question would be to contact her anyway. And two, she’s saying how he is exactly the same, hates being contacted when he’s busy with work. “I can text Renee to see what’s up.”

Harry nods, “Please…” He begins to imagine Rori as his ballroom girl and mutters to himself, “A June Wedding…” getting lost in a silly little daydream.

-

“Harry Styles is asking after you,” Renee snickers over the cellphone line.

“What is this? The 1800s?” Rori sighs, as she holds the phone to her ear with her shoulder. She tries to brush her hair from her face with a flick of her head, which makes for a rather silly sight as her head and shoulder move awkwardly. “People don’t ‘ask after’ anyone anymore.”

She was in Hawaii, Maui specifically, steaming a sneaky last crinkle out of the latest bride’s wedding veil.

“Well, he still is doing it. You know how he is.”

“I actually don’t,” Rori responds, easily, ignoring the memories of her two encounters with him. “What does he want?”

“Wants to meet you or something,” Renee says easily. “Thinks he met you at Sarah’s wedding, obviously impossible since I know you scampered off half way through the reception and he was falling down drunk at the half way marker as well…” she trails off.

Rori knows her sister well and expects the next thing to come out of Renee’s mouth.

“Oh my god! Did you hook up with him?!”

Expecting this, Rori responds quickly and calmly, “No, we did not hook up, I would never... I did watch him fall on his ass, though.”

“So it was you!”

“What was me?” Rori squints her eyes at her sister over the phone and finally straightens from her steaming task. She feels like she’s only half paying attention to the conversation, especially since she had no intention of meeting up with Harry. He had been so sweet and sad, and she truly wished him the best, but she knew she wasn’t the answer to his problem.

“You!” Renee all but yells into the phone, “Are his dream girl! He’s been wondering if you were even real for weeks.”

“I’m real,” Rori sighs and crosses the room she’s in to sit at the desk she was using as a work space. She flicks through the planner she was using for the Hearst wedding, set to take place tomorrow. “But I’m certainly not his dream girl...I told him that when he said he was in love with me.”

“He what?!” Renee exclaims and hears her sister sigh once again, she knows Rori is growing tired of the conversation and is ready to offer an excuse to hang up any moment now. “Nevermind that, I’m going to tell Sarah to give him your number and the date you get back to Los Angeles. Keep next weekend clear.”

Before Rori can open her strawberry pink lips to reply, Renee is squealing a goodbye and hanging up. She felt her shoulders sag with the empty line, she reclined into the nicely plush swivel chair. This is why she stayed out of love and relationships when they didn’t relate to work, they were exhausting. Too much ‘he said, she said’ going on at all times. Color palettes, seating arrangements and menus were simple, they made sense, they could be arranged and put into place. Relationships were messy, the actual event of a wedding could even be messy, but when she planned them out, for a single moment everything was orderly and simple. She was in control. She knew she couldn’t be Harry’s dream girl because she knew she couldn’t control that situation.

-

Upon arriving back in the continental United States, at the end of June, Rori ubered immediately to her apartment in Silverlake. Well, it was a converted garage behind a house of a friend of Renee’s. Like most apartments in Los Angeles, it was funky, but it was Rori’s until she decided where she wanted to move. She never wanted to buy in LA and she never wanted to upgrade from the place she had called home for the past four years.

Almost immediately after dropping her pink work tote bag and worn backpack on the floor next to her medium sized navy suitcase, her phone rang through the ‘Do Not Disturb’ setting with an unknown number. A New York number. Possibly a new client, she picks up quickly and shuts the window-paned door behind her. The days were long, the longest day of the year had almost arrived, yet the sun was still beginning to set in the sky and turn the light blue into a painting of oranges pinks and purples.

“Hello?”

“Is Rori Williams there?” A British voice asks, almost timidly.

“Who’s asking?”

“...Harry.”

“I was told you’d be calling or something along those lines,” she smiles to herself.

Harry sat in his room, chewing at his lip, still unsure if the voice on the other side of the phone call was the woman he had talked to previously.

“Can we go for a drink sometime? How’s tomorrow?”

“Someone is quite enthusiastic.”

“It’s just...I’m trying to figure something out.”

“So I’ve heard,” she chuckles slightly.

“So you won’t tell me whether you’re the girl I talked to at Sarah and Mitch’s wedding will you?”

“What would be the fun in that?”

“So it’s a right Cinderella, if the shoe fits situation,” he mumbles, slightly to himself, but she hears him clearly.

She laughs.

“I don’t really care for Cinderella, I’m not really one for Disney princesses at all, actually.”

His breath catches, a foggy memory of something having to do with princesses tries to break into his mind. He couldn’t remember still and he vowed time and time again that he would never get that drunk again. Too much time lost.

“Alright, Harry. I’ve just gotten home from a work trip so I’m planning on a bath, some wine, and some terribly raunchy TV to get my mind off of my life. How about you pick a time and a place for drinks and hopefully I will show up? Great! Goodnight.”

She doesn’t wait for a response, just clicks the red button that hangs up the phone and goes on with her professed plans. Harry sits in stunned silence for a few moments, whatever he had gotten himself into was going to be a ride of a lifetime.

-

At a quarter past six, Harry sits anxiously at the bar top of a semi casual, semi fancy, totally cool bar he loved. It was private so he wouldn’t be bombarded with people, but it was still lively enough that it wouldn’t be dead silent if conversation lulled between him and Rori. That is, if she showed up.

His foot begins to tap, ever so persistently against the silver footrest at the bottom of the bar. His eyes shift from right to left, not wanting to order a drink before she arrives, but also not wanting to wait much longer and not order a drink. He’d waived off the bartender twice already.

She walks in, right on time, Harry had just arrived early. Her lips part into a happy smile at his anxious stance at the bar, he mirrors her expression at the sight of her.

She’s wearing a billowy white button down, the sleeves cinching perfectly at her petite wrists, cinched beneath a brown corset-like tank top. Her breasts showed their true size today in this outfit. She had the collar pulled out and the corset made it so that her cleavage was perfectly sculpted just beneath the crisp white cloth. Her pants were sleek and black, understated to draw more of a focus to her top as well as the lavender jewel inlaid pendant hanging just above the swells of her breast. Harry’s eyes dipped to that level for a moment, but quickly recovered to focus on her face. The night of the wedding had been blurry, but he was sure Rori’s face was the one of his mystery girl.

He’s shy tonight and a little more reserved than last time. He’s out of his comfortable bubble, what could anyone expect from a man so constantly watched. He fidgets with the top most button of his shirt that was buttoned and thinks about unbuttoning it to reveal a little more of his chest, but he refrains. At a friend’s wedding he feels safe, but in public he’s always watching, always aware of the possible prying eye. But like he had said drunkenly to Rori, he always maintained his charm, no matter the circumstances.

“Lavender was gorgeous on you, but this…” he gives a graceful sweep of his hand to gesture at her outfit tonight, “is extremely enchanting.”

“So you remember me in lavender? I thought you couldn’t remember me at all.” She grins as she stands directly beside him, similar to the first time they had chatted at a bartop.

Harry clears his throat at her tease, “I knew once I laid eyes on you, I would know. So now I know.”

She smirks at his reasoning and orders a vodka cranberry, both not wanting to get off her ass or look any certain way. Vodka cranberries were acceptable mature drinks, but not overly pretentious in any way. Harry tells the bartender to make it two. She looks at him with a discerning eye.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” She asks as she slides into the bar seat that seems to be trying to look vintage but was likely made no less than five years ago.

Harry sits too, more easily since his legs are longer than hers. “We met in the ballroom for the first time, did we not?”

“No...we met at the bar in the reception room.” Her hand splays to feel the stone of this counter, cold unlike the wood of the previous one. “We were about this close after you’d rudely stepped ahead of me and ordered before I could...not that you noticed. I asked if you were having a rough night and you pretty much dismissed me.” She bites her lip as she tells him the story, her eyes widen as she watches the distress roll over his features at what she says.

“Oh god,” One of his hands reaches to grab her hand to emphasize his apology, “I’m so sorry, that’s so rude. I was having quite a rough night as you would eventually see.”

He stares at her face, trying to meet her eyes, but she’s glued to the sight of their hands intertwined. He was so smooth and it was making her melt, making the walls she had purposefully put up for this date weak. She had rules, especially for guys like Harry - not that there was anyone that compared to him in her life, but she had them and she knew she couldn’t just be swept off her feet by his sweet voice and gorgeous face that has the most puppy-dog look on it.

She knows she shouldn’t but the extra ice she had added to her personality melts away, her eyes going slightly moony as she watches him visibly relax again. “No worries, I enjoyed your company upon the second meeting, even if you didn’t even remember my name after it.”

“Well,” he finally catches her eye, “That’s where I have a bit of a bone to pick.”

“Oh?”

“You didn’t tell me your real name...gave me some fake name I can’t even remember, but it certainly wasn’t…” His eyes shift to her pendant again and he looks back at her brassy eyes in the bar’s lighting. “If your name is Rori Williams, why is your pendant an ‘A’?” He says slowly, another foggy memory trying to break the surface of his knowledge but still failing.

She finally feels in control of the situation, calm and assured of herself, which was maybe unfair since it seemed Harry really had a hard time remembering that night and she could really fuck with him if she wanted to, but she wouldn’t - couldn’t - with those earnest eyes looking at her.

“I told you my real name the first time we talked, Harry. It’s Aurora,” she retracts her hand from beneath his grasp and touches at the necklace, “I go by Rori both socially and professionally, but officially it’s Aurora and this had been my great-grandmother’s. I don’t go anywhere without it.”

“Almost as beautiful as its wearer,” he smirks, his gaze stuck on her face, attempting to convey something specific. She thinks she knows what he’s saying with his look.

“You’re quite the flirt,” she rolls her eyes playfully before specifically choosing to take a sip of her drink through the little straw the bartender had put in it. It draws Harry’s attention to her lips, and after a moment they were wet with a bit of excess vodka cranberry and Harry felt himself grow a little hot at the tips of his ears when her eyes meet with his. She had caught him staring, but he recovers easily.

“I remember telling you I never lose my charm, it’s true is it not?” Harry inquires, head leaning closer to her as he takes a sip of his own drink, making a show to lick his lips after removing them from the edge of the lowball glass.

Her laughter is loud but not overbearing, Harry thinks it’s the best laugh he’s ever heard even if she’s laughing at him. She’s true in that laugh, she’s not trying to make him fall for her with that laugh, it’s just her enjoying herself.

She responds with something sweet and the two begin the back and forth of a successful date. They both drink around three drinks as the night persists, but it’s enough for her to feel the burning pull inside the pit of her belly for Harry. His hands stay relatively to himself besides a few subtle touches at her hair and hands every so often, his feet are the ones to blame. At one point in the night, he hooks his loafer covered foot around her ankle and she is quick to lean into it, reciprocating the footsie with ease. Each brush of his leg against hers is electrifying, every nerve in her body was beginning to go crazy. She was buzzing in a way that she hadn’t when she had first encountered Harry. Tonight he was more suave, but with a tinge of timidness that made him irresistible.

Harry made sure he wouldn’t get drunk tonight, ordering only as much as Rori. He didn’t want to be the fool who couldn’t remember their time together, again. Plus, he didn’t want to forget any of their time together, he wanted to remember it all. Everything about her was amazing, the feeling he had about her, the nagging desire to meet her was for a reason, he was sure of it. If her voice was a melody, then she was the most beautiful love song he had ever heard.

At 11:30, he leans in close to Rori, his nose brushing at the hair tucked at her ear and asks her if she wants to leave. She looks at him confused, the warm feeling in her stomach falls because she thinks he wants to end the night.

“Oh,” she says dejected, she swore it was going well. “Right..That’s it.”

Harry’s brows crinkle at her sad face.

“No, love, I was saying,” he raises his brows, “Y’know.”

“Oh! Right! You just sounded so...I don’t know, serious.” She sinks in her seat, realizing her presumptions had been wrong.

“I was trying to be,” he twists his lips trying to find the word, as blush rises on his cheeks. “Seductive.”

The two of them are quickly realizing they can’t pretend with each other. Rori can’t keep up the harsh facade against love with him, he sees right through it. Harry can’t play his old tricks with her, she sees right through them.

She laughs again, “Well, it just sounded like you were bored. Sometimes your moves fall really flat.” She offers a sweet wink in consolation for his failed attempt at trying to really get her weak in the knees.

They were a lovesick mess together as they clambered off their bar seats and exit the bar that had gotten increasingly loud.

“So what’s next?” She asks on the warm summer night.

He steps closer and takes the liberty of fiddling with the strap of the corset she has on. His head is tilted down as he towers over her. “You know me Rori, I’m a hopeless romantic so I desperately want to take you out for dinner sometime and slow dance with you until the sun comes up, but,” his breath fans over her face now as he shifts impossibly closer, “I also want to grip your hair as I watch you writhing underneath me. Just tell me what you’d prefer and it’s all yours.”

Her breathing has become a slight pant as his words wash over her. His nose brushes over the ridge of hers and she takes the moment to put her hands on his shoulders and pull him onto her. They were in the alleyway beside the bar, away from prying eyes except a few people too drunk to recognize Harry's face that is all but hidden in Rori.

“Harry,” she breathes, her eyes fluttering shut as she makes the decision to cross them into the point of no return. She wants this too much. She hadn’t thought this would be how her night would go, thought she would brush him off and never see him again, but god, she needed his warm body everywhere. Needed him to touch every part of her.

“Rori,” he responds.

“I want the second one first,” she whispers, feeling a little too eager, but feeling Harry press excitedly against her reassures her.

His lips press a searing kiss to her and she makes a sound of happiness at the contact. Her hands fist at the fabric of his shirt as she presses her lips feverishly back onto his. Harry’s quick to grip at the back of her neck and the small of her back, keeping her tight to him as he licks into her mouth.

“Can still taste that last vodka cran,” he notes before kissing her again.

Their tongues rub against each other, sloppily but with a tenderness hidden there as well. She snorts at his words which makes him smile and they’re kissing is becoming more silly as they try to contain their laughter. He pulls away, finally giving up trying to maintain the kiss while they both laughed.

“Would you like to come back to mine?” Harry asks as he leans his forehead against hers.

Rori’s eyes flicker open and stare into his, the focus only on his eyes and the sprinkle of light freckles and beauty marks below them. She nods her head, making his move with it. They both smile, trying to contain their laughter once more.

She presses her lips against his once more for a small peck and then lowers her head into the crook of his neck. The skin warm and smooth against hers as she whispers happily to him.

“It’s your turn now, Harry,” Rori says blissfully.

She had been the answer to all his questions.

-

[2jaeh]

THREE DAYS  I  LEE TAEYONG

When your over controlling boyfriend invites you and his best friend to a three day resort did he not see trouble approaching? especially when said best friend has been trying to get in bed with you since the moment he met you.

Genre: mature theme, slight smut

warnings: cheating, suggestive masterbation, slight public scenes, cursing. 

words: 3k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you sure it's okay for me to tag along ?” Taeyong spoke into the phone as he threw a dress shirt into his already overflowing suitcase. “Okay cool, well I`ll see you guys at the resort then.” Taeyong sighed as he cut the call and took a good look at himself in the mirror. He wondered if he was too overdressed, or not dressed enough. He bit down on his lip and looked at the caller ID, his best friend Inseong holding on to the person Taeyong desired most, Inseong`s girlfriend. 

He had no idea when this “crush” began, if you could call it that at this point. Inseong and Taeyong had been casual university friends for a while but it was after graduation, when they both got hired by the same corporate office did they really establish a close friendship. 

Taeyong and Inseong did most things together, whether it be catching up at music events or a sunday afternoon golf trip. But if he were being honest, the real reason he loved hanging out with Inseong was because he knew he’d bring her around, the girl who had stolen his heart without having the slightest clue. 

DAY 1 : FRI

“Taeyong is afraid he is going to third wheel” Inseong chuckled as he concentrated on the open road in front of him, casually looking over at you scoffing down a bag of jelly tots. 

“Youre working though” you stuck your tongue out at him, “Im gonna be just as alone as he is.”

“I guess you are” Inseong let out a sigh, “I don't understand why the dude cant get a date though he’s pretty good looking right?”

“Uhm yeah he's attractive.” Attractive was an understatement. You will never forget the day Inseong introduced you to Taeyong, It was around the time you two just started dating about two years ago, and you had never seen someone that good looking up close before. It wasn't the fact that you didn’t find your boyfriend attractive, you loved Inseong and he was a good looking guy but Taeyong, he was different. 

Taeyong barely spoke to you but he was always polite and had a warm aura unlike the rest of Inseongs friends. He was the one you got along with most and because of that Inseong had a habit of inviting him on many of your trips, much like the one you're venturing on now. 

You stuffed the empty snack packets into a trash bag as Inseong pulled into a very fancy resort one you weren't quite familiar with. Inseong was actually on a work trip that involved meeting with potential clients and partners, this did not include Taeyongs sector but their boss allowed him to bring you two along as a treat. Inseong’s firm absolutely adored him, which made sense because he was practically married to his job. 

“I'm going to get the room keys” Inseong placed a peck on your cheek and you watched him jog off to the front desk while you meandered around the foyer of the hotel. 

“y/n” you heard a chirpy voice call from behind you. Turning you were met with those bold black orbs and that ever so charming smile.

“Taeyong” you grinned back pulling him into a tight hug that drowned you in his rich scented perfume. 

Taeyong wasn't sure if you noticed his fingers linger on the small of your back. He would always leave you small signs but you’d never notice. His bright eyes dulled for a second when your attention turned back to Inseong who returned with the room keys. 

“Oh you're here great! y/n and I are staying in the room next to yours, do you mind taking her up ?” Inseong said, handing Taeyong both sets of keys. 

“What? You’re not coming up to see the room ?” you asked, a little hurt that he was already ditching you on this trip. 

“Sorry honey they want to do a meet and greet and tour of the resort, i'll be up as soon as it's over” Inseong gently stroked your head and you watched him walk off with one of the resort employees.

“I guess it's just you and me then” Taeyong smiled although regretting his words when he saw the fake smile grace your face and made your way over to the elevators. Taeyong was all too familiar with this scene. Inseong being busy, he excludes you from the rest of his corporate friends and eventually calls on him to babysit you. He wondered if you resented him solely because of Inseong’s habits. He tried his best to always make you feel comfortable even if it put him in the most uncomfortable position both mentally...and physically. 

“Well I'm going to take a nap so I'll see you around I guess” you pressed your lips together and took the room key from him. 

“Are you not gonna eat anything ? We could go down for Lun-”

“I'm good Taeyong, I'll see you later okay ?” Taeyong watched as you disappeared into the room and it felt like he had been punched in his stomach. 

DAY 2 : SAT

Taeyong lay in bed utterly exhausted after barely getting a wink of sleep courtesy of the screaming match that happened last night. Although muffled, Taeyong already knew it was about Inseong coming back at around 3am. ‘What meeting would go on until that time especially on the first day’ Taeyong thought as he rubbed his bare chest and stared up at the ceiling. Inseong loved his job and he loved socializing with people who shared that interest. To him coming home at that time absolutely plastered was normal, because it was part of his work lifestyle. 

Taeyong groaned and turned onto his stomach, burying his head into the pillow as he heard your sobs replaying in his head from the fight. He was tired of sitting around not doing anything when he knew for a fact he could treat you way better. At moments like this he didn't give two shits about Inseong, especially after he got the new promotion and made a new friend group of pretentious assholes. Taeyong wanted to be with you by your own choice, he wanted to hang out with you without Inseongs name attached to the reason you two were together. 

Just as he was lost in his thoughts Taeyong’s ears perked at the sound of Inseong leaving the room and the sound of the shower running. 

“No fuck not now please not now” Taeyong groaned as he felt shudder overcome his body and his underwear became slightly restricted. His mind raced with thoughts of you. It all came to him so quickly he barely noticed that his hand was already down his sweatpants as he buried his face further into his pillow. He wished he was with you. The things he would do to you were unspeakable. He wouldn't give a shit if Inseong walked through those doors finding him on top of girlfriend, he didn't care. 

You finished drying yourself off and put on a cute yellow sundress that hugged your curves, showing off the two piece bikini that Inseong told you not to wear around the resort especially when he wasn't with you. This was payback for the way he treated you last night. Not only did he ditch you in a foreign room for an entire evening, he also returned drunk out of his mind and blamed you as usual for not taking care of him. You wanted to at least enjoy whatever you could from this trip and if it meant looking hot and hanging out with Taeyong, then so be it. 

You made your way next door and rang the doorbell patiently waiting for your assigned babysitter. Taeyong swung open the door, dressed in only in a pair of black harem pants and a towel on his neck that he used to dry his hair. You took in the site of his bare chest, drinking in his pretty figure that matched his gorgeous face. 

“I'm sorry I was gonna go down for breakfast I was wondering….i’ll just wait outside”  you stuttered and you heard Taeyong giggle

“Come inside y/n.” 

You walked inside his room and it was surprisingly neat in comparison to yours. You felt kinda embarrassed at the state of your room even though most of it were Inseongs doing anyway. 

Taeyong continued drying his hair as he watched you scan his room, his eyes already on your figure in that goddamn sundress. His only thoughts were ripping it off until he noticed you were staring right back at him. 

“Your hair is sticking up a bit at the back, here let me help you” 

Taeyong watched as you approached his figure and reached up to neaten his hair. He really admired his will power to keep his hands off your body as you inched closer and closer to him. 

“Thanks” he smiled sweetly masking his dark intent and threw on a loose hawaiian shirt gesturing towards the door, “shall we?”

The two of you had a decent day lounging around the pool area and took a stroll on the beach before heading back for lunch. You never expected to bump into Inseong and his colleagues during lunch and the way Inseong looked at your outfit, you knew you’d never hear the end of it. He practically ignored you the entire time while he and his friends chatted away, even going as far as introducing Taeyong to a few of them but not you. 

Just before you and Taeyong made your way to the elevators to retreat back to the rooms, Inseong jogged over and tugged on your wrist. 

“I know we had it out last night but was all of this really necessary ?” Inseong gritted his teeth as he looked over your skimpy outfit. 

“I thought it was cute, not everything I do is to ruin your perfect life Inseong” you rolled your eyes and pressed the button to signal the elevator. 

Inseong let out an exasperated sigh and released your wrist before massaging his temple. 

“Just dont pull this kinda shit at the dinner tomorrow please, the chairman is going to be there.”

You and Taeyong watched as Inseong stomped away and Taeyong noticed that for once instead of beating yourself up about Inseongs reaction you seemed somewhat proud to piss him off to that extent. 

“I'm sorry you're always in the middle of all of this Taeyong” you apologized as the two of you stepped onto your floor and made your way to the rooms. 

“It's okay y/n it's not your fault, and besides I think you look ridiculously hot in that dress” he replied and licked his lips as you felt your face heat up with his bold words. “Also,” he continued as he scanned his room key

“I think you should own it, wear something sexy tomorrow, not for Inseong but for yourself and maybe a little for me.” 

DAY 3 : SUN

You looked at yourself in the mirror, smoothing out the classy black velvety dress you had saved for a night out. The dress was intended for a Valentines date with Inseong but that never happened because he had a more important meeting to attend. 

As you made final touches to your outfit you wondered if subconsciously you did also dress up for Taeyong. God the way he looked at you when he told you to wear something sexy, you hadn't felt flustered yet intrigued like that in a long time. 

You put on the final touches to your make up and made your way down to the banquet room. You already felt a bit awkward as you noticed a few people stare at you and whisper until you saw Taeyong. You barely noticed Inseong sit directly in front of him, all you could see was Taeyongs dark eyes taking every bit of you in. 

Inseong’s eyes though we're different. He looked annoyed but still got up to help you into your seat which was weirdly next to Taeyong instead of him. But then it dawned on you when you noticed that the name card next to him was the chairman. 

Typical. That was all he cared about in the end. 

Taeyong’s eyes were still on you as you took your seat, unbothered if Inseong even noticed at this point, he was in awe. Did you dress up because he told you to ? Did you dress up for yourself and maybe, just maybe for him ?

“You look gorgeous y/n” he whispered, his deep voice sent a shiver down your spine. You brushed your hair behind your ear and nodded a thank you, trying to keep your focus elsewhere. Although Taeyong was conversing with the people at the table something made you feel as if you still had his full attention. 

You almost jumped when you felt his cold fingers trace circles on your knee, his focus was still in his conversation but yours was solely on his movements. Taeyong lightly squeezed your thigh to test the waters, a smirk he indefinitely couldn't hide graced his face and he allowed his hand to move higher. 

You gulped as he began to move, completely entranced by his touch as you felt him trace more circles on your upper thigh until his hand settled in your lap. Taeyong moved his chair closer to you and the table in order to obstruct the view of a passerby or any suspicious eyes at the table. 

“You work with Inseong right?” a man said to Taeyong as he laced his fingers with yours under the table.

All of it was so incredibly promiscuous but it gave you an adrenaline rush and Taeyong knew you were completely on board when you squeezed his hand back and bit down on your lip. 

Taeyong grabbed your hand and placed it in his own lap, allowing you to feel exactly what you were doing to him at this moment. You sucked in a breath as you palmed him and he gave your thigh another squeeze, this time much harder, rougher than before. 

Eventually into the night you decided to excuse yourself and Inseong preferred it anyway. You couldn't believe how oblivious he was to the closeness of you and Taeyong that it only angered you even more of how he would really choose these fake people over his girlfriend for the night. 

As you made your way to the elevator you didn't even realise Taeyong had already followed you there, putting on his usual laid back demeanor. The two of you stepped into the elevator and it was silent. You wondered why he was so quiet especially after pulling that stunt during dinner. Completely confused you grabbed your room key but before you could scan it Taeyong blocked your path, scanning his room key and pulled you inside his room not giving you any time to process this. 

He was all over you, his lips his hands his body, you felt almost every part of him as he pressed you against the wall. He used his knee to separate your legs as he planted open mouthed kisses on your neck, practically growling into your ear when he heard a moan escape your lips. 

“I-I didn't do anything in case someone from dinner saw us” he explained as he found the hook of your dress but stopped to look in your eyes, “are you okay with this?” 

You answered him by practically ripping open his white dress shirt and ran your hands down his body. Taeyong smirked and moved you to the bed, ridding himself of his shoes and trousers before attacking your neck once more. 

“I'm sorry if this all moves too fast I literally can't help myself” he growled once more as you got undressed and the sight of you in your scantily clad underwear made him lightheaded. 

“Well its best we hurry the fuck up before that asshole comes back” you sighed as you pulled him on top of you. 

“Fuck I dont want to hear about him, youre mine right now” Taeyong groaned and skillfully unclipped your bra and rid you of your lace panties. You bit down on your lip as you watched him pull down his boxers and free his member, licking your lips unconsciously. 

“Don't worry baby you can suck it next time” he teased and without warning pushed himself into you with one brisk movement. The room filled with both of your moans as Taeyong’s hips slammed into yours, while one hand laced his fingers with yours while the other was wrapped around your throat. 

“Oh my God Taeyong” you cried completely in ecstasy thanks to the way Taeyong handled you. He was animalistic yet not hurting you in any way. His eyes burned holes into yours as he moved his hips faster and faster until you came undone and he followed straight after. 

Taeyong quickly cleaned you up and kissed you softly, his touches were much lighter as he held your face in his hands moving his lips gracefully against yours. 

“I'm going to end things with him Taeyong I can't take it anymore” you rested your head on his chest as he stroked your hair. 

“I know baby just do whats best for you, and just know I actually do like you like really fucking like you” he replied and he felt you smile. 

“You fell for me in three days ?” you giggled against his chest. 

“No baby i've liked you since the day I met you, these three days were for you to finally come to your senses.”

[anxsity]

central division teams as paramore songs

as assigned by me: part 3!!!!! (once again: don’t take this seriously)

wild - hallelujah ”and we’ve got time on our hands / got nothing but time on our hands” ”this time, we’re not giving up / let’s make it last forever / screaming ‘hallelujah!’” oh man have the wild been patient. truly paid their dues. but now: they got their promised boy!!!!! hallelujah kirill the thrill has arrived, now is no longer the time to give up, but to give the central division a run for their money. hallelujah yall

jets - here we go again “forget the things we swore, we meant / i’ll write you just to let you know that i’m all right / can’t say i’m sad to see you go / cause i’m not” oh man, what better team for a resentful breakup song than the jets? who hasn’t left winnipeg at this point? here we go again..... and again....... and again...... don’t worry jets im sure you’ll find the one soon enough.

coyotes - franklin “and when we get home, i know we won’t be home at all / this place we live, it is not where we belong” “so we stand here now and no one knows us at all / i won’t get used to this, i won’t get used to being gone” do i even have to explain this choice? one word: asu :/

blues - grudges “strange how we found ourselves exactly where we left off” “well, we just pick up, pick up and start again / cause we can’t keep holding on to grudges” i don’t know what they did to woo tarasenko into staying but it worked? i guess? congrats! gotta put that water under the bridge and move on, pick up and start again babey you ain’t done yet

predators - never let this go “one day, you’ll get sick of saying that everything’s alright.” ”because i’ll never let this go / but i can’t find the words to tell you” one day maybe the preds will accept the inevitable and give in to a rebuild. one day. if they find the words to part ways perhaps. this one is sadder than i meant it to be i’m sorry

stars - interlude: moving on ”let ‘em have their time / sit back and let ‘em shine / let ‘em rise and rise / cause one day they’re gonna fall” ”i’ve counted to ten and now i’m feeling alright / and besides i’m moving on” maybe this one’s just for me, but ever since the appearance in the finals it feels like moving on. recapturing what was there and, man i don’t wanna necessarily say it but tampa missing a threepeat does lowkey help. moving on now, feeling alright with a sick ass goalie in net.

avalanche - looking up “could’ve given up so easily / i was a few cheap shots way / from the end of me” “cause i’ve always wanted this and / it’s not a dream anymore, no” for the team that climbed the summit! that claimed it all! a song thats so..... hopeful? ecstatic? relieved? for the vets that had something to prove, that got so close time and time again. it’s not a dream anymore. 

[hopeless-starry-kingdom]

Drivers License | Peter Parker

Summary: Peter broke your heart and now its time to let it out

Song: Drivers Licence by Olivia Rodrigo

“I want each of you to write a poem that has meaning to you. Make it heartfelt and make it good. At the end of the week you all will present them to the class.” The whole class groaned in annoyance at the thought of presenting. You dint say a word, though.

You sat quietly with your head in your hand and stared straight ahead. You tried not to look at him as the class session went on but you found it so hard and stared right at the back of his head. His brown curls were messy yet groomed, just like how he always wore his hair. And today you seen him wearing a science pun t-shirt and a jacket over it. His jeans were dark blue and his shoes were vans. You liked his outfit today.

The bell rang as your English teacher reminded everyone of the assignment. You walked out after him and when Ned called his name from the classroom behind your guys’, he turned his head. You both made eye contact and you could see him swallow harshly as he sent a timid smile to you. You didn't smile. You didn't wave. You held your head up high and walked straight past him.

As you began to put your change away in your wallet, you seen your brand new drivers license. You got it last week. You were so happy that you had passed the test and ran to your phone to call Peter because that was all he was talking about for months. But you stopped short as you opened his contact name and realized what he had done. He broke up with you. And It hurt.

“Stop staring at it. He’s an asshat. There’s no going back, you have to try and forget about him now.” You looked up and tried to blink back your tears as MJ held your arm.

“It just hurts still. A-and he's in two of my fucking classes, god MJ.” The curry haired girl sighed and nodded. She was never one to show affection but she could see you were hurting. She knew first hand how much you loved him and MJ swore Peter loved you just as much. MJ was usually never wrong and when she told you not to doubt Peter hanging with Gwen Stacy so much, she swore up and down Gwen was just using him for a good grade. She never actually thought Peter would leave you for her. Because MJ was usually never wrong.

It caught everyone by surprise. All your friends and family. It was all so sudden. The school caught wind of it the next day it seemed. The girls called Peter a jerk for not waiting to jump into a new relationship. The guys all patted Peter on the back and saying they didn't know he had it in him. It only made it worse. But now almost two weeks later and the breakup still wasn't easier.

“Is she with him?” You asked and you knew it wouldn't help your case but you just had to know.

“Y/N--”

“MJ, please.” You begged. You didn't want to turn and look for yourself, afraid that if anyone caught you, or worse he did, you’d be the laughing stalk of the school. MJ sighed and turned her body to see Peter and Gwen laughing with each other. Peter had his arm wrapped around her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Ned looked uncomfortable.

“Yeah, she is.” You sighed and bit back the tears as you looked down at your drivers license and remembered how he broke up with you.

“I can't do this anymore” You furrowed your brows and stood up from his bed to face him.

“What?” You whispered and you felt your throat clog up as tears blurred your vision. Everything was fine, you were rambling about the drivers test and how hard it might be for you. Everything was fine, or so you thought.

“Y/N, I just, Im not really... I don't know how to tell you this, I-”

“Peter just spit it out!” You threw your hands out.

“I like someone else.” He clenched his jaw and sighed as he ran a hand down his face. “I’m sorry but you and I, I just don't feel that way anymore.” He finished in a whisper and the tears finally fell from your face. You didn't know what else to say in that moment. So you fled.

You then found out it was Gwen Stacy who he liked. The girl he said was just his lab partner, his study buddy. Just friends he said.

“C’mon, we have to get to class before we get detention.” You stared long and hard at your drivers license and had a thought. You quickly put it away and stood with your best friend.

“Right, next up. Y/N.” Everyone turned to you as you picked up the piece of paper with your poem on it. You were nervous to recite it since Peter was in the room. However you were also ready to let out how you felt since Peter was in the room.

You sighed shakily and looked up. You met eyes with Peter and felt your jaw clench.

I got my drivers license last week

Just like we always talked about

Cause you were so excited for me

To finally drive up to your house

But today I drove through the suburbs 

Cryin’ cause you weren't around

Peter immediately tensed up as your words ran into him. He took a glance around and seen some of his classmates looking at him and whispering to their partner. Peter gulped as he focused on you again and nearly fell out of his seat at your words.

You're probably with that blonde girl

Who always made me doubt 

You said not to worry about her

Yeah, I drove through the suburbs

Cause how could I ever love someone else?

Your eyes began to blur as tears came forward and you tried to blink them back, you didn’t want the whole class and soon the whole school to know you cried for Peter Parker during a presentation.

And I know we weren't perfect but Ive never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that im gone

Guess you didn't mean what your wrote in that letter about me

Your words were harsh as you spit out each syllable and made direct eye contact with Peter, who wished he could shrink into the floor in this moment. Now everyone was looking at Peter with a disappointed look.

“Okay, well thank you for that Y/N. Everyone give a round of applause for Y/N.” There was scattered claps as you hastily wiped your cheeks.

You ran to your desk and grabbed your bag before leaving the classroom. Your teacher didn't say anything when you pushed the door opened and stormed into the hall, ready to go cry in the restroom or better yet, your car.

“Y/N!” You didn't turn around but was now forced to turn as he grabbed your hand and twisted you.

“What-What the hell was that? In front of everyone? Couldn't you-”

“How could you be so okay? Im hurting inside and you-your with Gwen Stacy!” You screeched as tears rolled down your cheeks. Peter cleared his throat and stepped back.

“MJ is tired of me telling her how much I miss you but she doesn't know you the way I do! I drive in the suburbs and picture that you're there with me.” You whimpered and Peter felt his heart break. He knew you were hurting but he never imagined you would be so torn like this.

“Y/N, please I never meant to hurt you like this. You have to believe me, I just-”

“I can't drive past placed we used to go because I still fucking love you! And I still hear your voice in the traffic, you are everywhere! Tell me you love me the way I love you! It’s okay that we aren't perfect because I've never felt like this, please Peter. You said forever.” You step up to him and he sighs before shaking his head,

“I-Im so sorry, Y/N..” A sob rips through your throat as you turn and walk away from the boy. You make it to your car and you begin to cry as you hit the steering wheel.

You know you shouldn't be where you were at. But you couldn't help yourself. You parked your car and stared up at Peter’s apartment. You turned down your music, only a bit as you rested your head on your window.

Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street

[mashiraostail]

please momnight conent? Like student reader is upset/struggling with the material and goes to her for help or something literally please momnight im begging u

omg u do not have to beg kind anon i am happy to write momnight

“I’m sorry I feel really stupid..” You scrub at your face sitting in front of your teacher, she’s crouched down to eye level, one arm draped across your desk. “I just don’t understand this part at all..” You set your pencil down to use both hands, scrubbing at both of your eyes now.  “Hey come on, don’t say that!” Nemuri squeezes your wrist, “you’ll hurt yourself, just try reading it over again, sometimes that’s all it takes to get it to click.”  “I’m wasting your time, you have way more important things to be doing.” You mutter, “I’m sorry Midnight I think I’m a lost cause.” She lets out a loud gasp at that.  “Don’t say that sort of thing! NO way are you a lost cause!” She closes the book between you, “look at me.”  “I’m embarrassed. I know I’m strong but when it comes to bookish stuff I’m totally useless. You must think I’m an absolute moron-”  “No, I think Present Mic is a total moron.” She rests her chin in her hand as you finally look at her, chuckling to yourself over her jab at your English teacher.  “There we go. A little smile helps you feel much better huh?” She nudges your calf underneath the desk, you nod meekly.  “And anyways... I don’t think you’re a moron, I think you’re a kid. A student with a lot to learn. But you’re learning, even if its hard. Honestly, that's commendable, if this doesn’t come naturally to you putting in all the work to still do well is admirable, you don’t have to be the best you just have to do your best.”  “But I-” “No buts.” She frowns, “don’t talk back to your teacher.”  “Ow did you just pinch me- stop!” You pull your legs up into your chair as her attack on your leg continues.  “No one is good at everything. And yes I mean no one. Not a single person.”  “Well... what about All Might?” As soon as you finish she’s rolling her eyes. “He can’t even make a cup of coffee, and he’s never sent me a text that doesn’t have some sort of spelling error.”  “Principal Nezu?”  “He’s not a person he doesn’t count.”  You snort at that and rest your chin against your bent knees. “Well what about you? It sure seems like your good at everything...” You hug your legs to your chest and she pricks up a bit as you continue, “I just wanna be like you. You’re strong and smart and everyone likes you and you’re reliable and even if people underestimate you you always prove them wrong, even when you aren’t in the spotlight you’re doing the most to help...I... I wanna be like that, I wanna be just like you Miss Kayama.”  “Oh god I...I think I’m gonna cry.” She sucks in a deep breath. “What? Why would you do that dont-! Don’t cry!” You fumble as she sits back on her haunches.  “Well then don’t be such a little cherub!” She argues and then sighs, “look, I’ll be honest with you okay?” She reaches out and takes your hand, “it’s a really long time coming. Three years is a lot longer than it seems, and you’ve got a lot to learn. But you’re right, you are strong, and you are smart, smarter than you think.” She promises as she rests her chin on your desk, “even by coming to me for help you’ve proven how much you want this, how much you care about getting to your destination and..you know between you and I..you really do remind me of myself when I was your age.” She sighs wistfully and you grin at her, “yes you do, we’re practically spitting images of each other.”  “Shut up Midnight.” You chortle, unfolding your legs. “Ouch! What happened to Miss Kayama?!”” She pouts, picking her head up, “I’ll report you for insubordinance.”  “No you won’t.” You cheese at her and she shrugs, waving her hand.  “Ehhhh, yeah I guess you’re right. I won’t. especially not after you said you think I’m perfect.”  “Well are you or aren’t you?”  “Hm...I’d like to think I am.” She taps her bottom lip with her free hand and you snort, “though Mic says I have a terrible music taste, and Eraser says my sense of humor is shot...once Vlad told me I’m the worst driver he’s ever had the displeasure of accompanying on a grocery run, All Might says I’ve got one of the messiest cars he’s ever seen...oh Hound Dog also told me once that I make the worst cup of coffee on the planet and Cementoss agreed with him. But those are just opinions and they’re subjective so I’m...subjecting them to the trash.”  “I don’t think that’s how constructive criticism is meant to work.” You grin at the thought of her fellow teachers digging into her though.  “Ehhh..you say tomato..” She waves it off and then piques, “now I’ve got a question.” “if it’s about this material then sorry because I’m really shot for-”  “No, no. You really want to be like me?”  You flush, you can feel it in your ears, you murmur, “...yes...”  “I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you-”  “Yes!” You shout it a little louder than intended but she’s just laughing. “Really? Me?” I didn’t think I was exactly childhood role-model material.”  “That’s why I liked you..” You pluck at the fabric of your shirt, “everyone always wrote you off, but you always came through in the end, you always proved you were a lot more than your branding. I thought it was cool...that you didn’t try to be one dimensional, that you could be pretty and strong and smart.” You look up at her, “everyone likes you, everyone relies on you. I want to be that sort of strong. Forget picking up cars, forget punching in villains..I want people to need me like they need you. Like I need you.”  “Wow, I’m really gonna cry.”  “I told you don’t cry!” You snap, “you’re embarrassing me.” You cross your arms and she gasps. “You’re the one who went on the wild tangent!” Her laughter fizzles out and she stands, “come on.” She offers you a hand, “I think you get to call it for the afternoon, you’re probably the last student left here.”  You let her pull you out of your seat, she wraps an arm around you and squeezes you into her side, “how about an extra day to work on the assignment?”  “Are you playing favorites?” You ask her wearily.  “No. If someone else needs an extra day all they need to do is ask.” She hums, “try rereading the chapter tonight, and writing a summary of it. Give that to me tomorrow and I’ll let you know if you’re on the right track.”  “What if I’m not?” You gnaw at your lip nervously. “That’s what I’m here for, duh. Now let me walk you back to the dorms.” 

[shadowstalker732]

ALRIGHT LETS GIVE THIS POSTING THING A GO

MY REVAN TIME (one of them at least)

Also spoiler warning a guess for a game over a decade old? (Am I meant to say spoiler warning? Who knows not me)

(Please don’t yell at me about stats I do what I want)

Anyway first playthrough where I don’t stop and hard restart Tarris or Dantooine 13 times because choice reasons and me forgetting that stealth is useless and just letting the game auto level for me (learnt that the hard way), I’ve basically done Tatooine but I haven’t beaten the dragon yet cos I wanted to bugger off to another planet first and chose Kashyyyk. And I’m down in the shadow lands now (do not worry Zaalbar I WILL GET YOU BACK) and yeah that’s where I’m at.

ANYWAY, Shay or Shar Stalker (because the game won’t let me do non-binary) is a light side Revan. Good of heart dumb of ass and yet will still rob you dry if you place bets on a strategy game against them. Height wise around the 1.6m mark (5′3″ for the Americans). Prefers the double lightsaber look (currently got a short green one and a normal blue one for amnesia version). Not a flirt but definitely had something going on with my Exile in the past but that ended in the Mando war at some point… teenagers in war don’t usually do well mentally wise.. back story and post events of Kotor under the cut (also warning it’s long, like super long, and goes into their future story? As well)

SO BACKSTORY,

Shar got some Mando blood floating in their veins from some ancestor and that causes them to go full buir sometimes hence why Mission, Zaalbar, HK-47, T3-M4 and Juhani get bed time stores aboard the Ebon Hawk and chocolate space milk whenever they stop (Rev gets some too because who doesn’t love some good old Choccy milk), droid duo get cleaned basically daily while Bastila gets the bird for even thinking that this is a waste of time and resources.

Wait I said backstory… TEMPLE LIFE!

Rascal trio with Exile and Alek at their heels. All three, good of heart dumb of ass. Shar was a prodigy and excelled in basically all Jedi subjects at the time, was pretty popular with most people and just a nice person who didn’t stand for bullshit. Got into a few “heated” (honestly that’s an understatement) arguments with council members about how some things in the galaxy were handled but mostly had a positive response from people. At this time their main saber was purple and their off hand a short cyan. Joined the Republic in the Mandalorian wars a few months before their 17′th birthday. Didn’t not return to the Temple once after leaving for war.

The War 

(I should mention I get most of my knowledge from wiki skims (not deep reads) and other Tumblr posts so if it’s off canon… it’s my story and Star Wars is my sand box so I MAKE THE RULES HERE BABY!)

After many battles and the relationship between the battle trio growing stronger with time it was also weakening. At one point Shar and Exile had a romantic relationship going but only kept that going for a few months, they both decided that this was not the time to be doing this and if they both survived would actually give the lovers thing a shot (doesn’t happen). Throughout the war all three realise that they must make sacrifices to stop the war, the old saying “sacrifice one to save the many” is said often between the three at first before it becomes second nature. During one of the battles Shar’s cyan lightsaber is completely destroyed including the crystal being completely shattered. After taking the mantle of the Revanchist only uses the name Revan and never removes the helmet unless it’s only the trio and only then will respond to their old names. All three are slipping mentally in this war but have all managed to hold onto the Light side by trusting each other. After the mass shadow generator event Revan looses all contact with Exile (force and otherwise) and assumes death, despite it being Revan’s own order it’s a major pushing point towards the dark.

The End of the War

Revan faces off against Mandalore the Ultimate and slays him, in his dying breathe speaks of the Sith Empire growing in the Unknown Regions and how this war wasn’t only about giving the Mandalorian’s a good fight but also to weaken the republic for Ultimates Empire allies. Not many Mandalorians knew of the Sith truth behind the war and just followed their Mandalor’s word that this war would bring them the honour of a good fight, and it did in a way. After Revan learns of the empire growing hidden amongst uncharted routes, knew that the council would never believe them and so took matters into their own hands. Taking a fleet and insisting it was to chase down the last of the Mandalorian high command, Revan left for the unknown regions.

The Unknown 

Yeah everything went to shit. Rev and Alek get captured and Sith tortured and kind probed by old man Sith Emperor but in that time Revan gains acute knowledge via reverse mind prob, of how the Sith empire is running, where resources are coming from and key weak points. During this time Alek falls completely and Revan fains it for now. Torture continues for a good while until Revan makes the choice that they have been making all through out the war “sacrifice one to save the many”… Revan embraces the dark side and makes a plan, a plan to empower the known galaxy enough to destroy the “true” Sith empire by uniting it as their own Sith empire. Revan knows light will always rise to face the dark and that the light side is strong, someone will rise to take them down after the “true” Sith empire is defeated and only in death will Revan have fulfilled their promise to the unknown Mandalorian and finally be able to be one with the force. Revan embraces the dark fast and is soon sent off by the Sith emperor who thinks Revan is under his control to take control of the star forge and start building the Sith army in the known galaxy, Revan assumes command with now Malek as their right hand.

Beginning of Darth Revan

Basically what is described in the first Kotor game, Darth Duo go find star maps, get to forge, start fucking up the galaxy yadeyadeya. Malek pulls a sick move and fucks up Revan’s plan to stop the Sith Emperor and boom Amnesia time baby. Oh also during Sith times used a red and their old purple lightsaber but when they got captured by Bastila both lightsaber’s goy yoinked and locked up on Coruscant for simple reasons. 

No Memory Time Baby

Council is smart as fuck and call them Shay Stalker AKA their old name to see if that will reawaken light memories or thoughts in Revan and basically try and nudge amnesia Rev to stay lightside cos they don’t want to see their lost padawan fall back to the dark, (Jedi are a complicated subject), also ONLY SHAY no mention of their other name Shar at all! So that will cause problems later for poor Rev when they start remembering things :), basically the game from here on. Memories of a calm life on a farming planet before joining the military, lost both their siblings (AKA Alek and Exile) while away on service. Joined to stop the Sith from taking any more innocent lives. Throughout the game Shay try’s to help as many people as they can and choose the option that will benefit good and innocent people, constantly says fuck to corporations and nasty people, is not afraid to kill a bitch. As I haven’t completed the game fully (but I am planing a lightside finish and I’m not exactly sure when the “I am Revan” bit comes in I’m gonna leave this as it is. Oh and blue main saber and a short green saber with a crystal they managed to purify (AKA was red but returned to its natural colour through meditation and force cleansing, also helped by Bastila)

Memories

Like I said I haven’t finished the game yet BUT after the whole “oh fuck oh stars IM REVAN?????” Lots of shit starts to make sense and the force “spell” (I’m gonna call it spell) that repressed Revan’s memories had already begun to weaken somewhat before this point but this kinda opens the flood gates but not too far just enough for it to not make any sense at all. Team is there for Rev and the game finishes lightside. (Also I know I said this rev not gonna romance but this is post game stuff now and I just don’t wanna romance Bastila in game so yeah) ANYWAY, Revan and Bastila build a healthy relationship together and Revan starts to regain a lot of memories that their friends help them through. Revan remembers why they took the name Revan and actually goes to Coruscant to the high council to explain why they put on the helmet in the first place and the Council adheres to Revan’s request and returns the original helmet. The Star forged one stays in storage for now. Revan also requests their old armour and lightsabers to help regain memories as to why they fell, the council is hesitant at this request and only allows Revan to meditate with their old things at the main temple with a council member present. Over one or two years a lot comes back but there is still a few key dates, names, moments and details missing. Oh and Revan uses force powers to make Bastila preggers. IF BOBA FETT CAN SURVIVE A SARLAC AND PALPATINE CAN EXIST IN THE SEQUELS. REVAN CAN PULL FORCE BULLSHIT TOO!

The Unknown part 2: Electric boogaloo 

Revan finally remembers what made them go dark and realises they fucked up their own plans pretty bad and the Republic IS WORSE OFF THAN HOW IT STARTED COS OPPS REVAN ACCIDENTALLY KILLED A SHIT TON OF FORCE USERS LIGHT AND DARK SO yeah. Bastila was holding the brain cell of the force bond in this moment and Revan decides the best course of action is to go face the Emperor alone… fucking brilliant Revan how the fuck did you win the Mandalorian wars again my good sir? Revan tells Bastila that they (Rev) has been assigned a mission to infiltrate the remanence of Revan’s old Sith Empire and basically destroy it from within and that this mission is basically so hush hush that Bastila isn’t meant to know but Revan thought it only fair to say that they would be gone for potentially a long time for this mission and Bastila, unaware that this would be the last time she saw them, accepted this goodbye and hoped they would return before their baby was born. But Revan has always been a good lier… even to themselves. Without anymore fuss they left the Known Galaxy leaving all their friends and family behind never to be seen again to face off against the bitch that started it all. (I haven’t read the novels or played the SWTOR game and never plan to do either so again I say this is wiki knowledge that I’m doing what ever I please with that knowledge because Star Wars is a sand pit and I’m the kindy kid that’s decided to sit and play with it today)

Mmmmm Watcha SaaaaaaaAy

Revan gets their ass handed to them and imprisoned for three hundred years and tortured and mind probed AGAIN. Also cut off their connections to any other force user to ensure old dude couldn’t get to them as well. Absolutely not having a good time here. After the 300 years of PAIN the force within Revan gets so fucked up that their physicality splits into two entirely separate beings, Dark Revan and Light Revan. When this happens the prison breaks and Light Revan makes their escape and gets out barely alive while Dark Revan hangs back and swears allegiance to Sith Empire and starts plotting to overthrow old dude cos Sith. Light Revan makes it back to the council and they heal them and have a very hard time believing they are Revan until Revan perfectly describes a gift they gave Bastila before they left that now a descendent of Revan now owns. The council doesn’t understand how Revan split into two entire different beings but accept “the force acts in mysterious ways at times”. Revan is FINALLY given knighthood and helps prepare the republic for the Sith Empire that hasn’t attacked yet but definitely will soon. And this is where Tarre comes in.

Mando Time Yeah!

My Tarre will get his own beefy post (def not as big as this one) maybe tomorrow or the next day so for now it’s just what Tarre does and means to Revan. ANYWHO, Tarre becomes Light Revan’s padawan. (I should mention that Light Revan despite being called Light Revan is leaning towards a grey area within the force but isn’t down right evil like dark Revan is. Dark Revan is killing puppies of an endangered species cos their bored evil). Tarre is Revan’s padawan and becomes a knight. Revan enjoys teaching Tarre about the force and understanding how Tarre was brought up a Mandalorian and with the peace between Jedi and Mandalorian’s at this point was welcomed into the Jedi temple later than most. Revan raises Tarre like he is their own son/little brother and they form an extremely powerful force bond because of it. I’ll go in depth on Tarre’s post but Tarre still gets Mando training for 4 months of the year but the jedi training is the rest of the year. Revan joins Tarre when he return to Mandalore to continue his Mando training and learns more about Mandalorian history and culture while there. While on Mandanlore Light Revan truely feels relaxed for once despite random Mando’s sometimes jumping out and challenging them to fights because apparently Revan is now a ghost story and a feared mighty warrior legend and when anyone finds out that Revan is “alive” immediately tries to prove that they are stronger than Revan (which they are not). A few years after Tarre is knighted the war with the True Sith Empire begins.

I don’t know what to call this bit sooooo UWU

Battles, fights, old shit, it’s a war. Revan proves to be supper fucking useful in leadership but doesn’t do as much “sacrifice one to save the many” moves anymore. Revan keeps predicting what the Sith are gonna do an THATS cos Dark Revan is leading the, and Revan knows Revan best but not the reverse. Light Revan knows how Dark Revan will act but Dark Revan doesn’t know how Light Revan will act since Light Revan technically includes Shay/Shar, Mandalorian War Revan, Amnesiac Shay, and post Amnesia. While Dark Revan is only really Darth Revan and post Amnesia so Light Revan technically outweighs Dark Revan. I’ve probably butchered that explanation or done it too late but that’s how it’s gonna be cos it’s midnight and I wanna finish this and post it today. ANYWAY, final battle between the Revan’s. They have a massive duel on the battle field and eventually Light Revan strikes Dark Revan down but also receives some pretty nasty injuries. Light Revan understands the need to be whole again and as Dark Revan “dies” reunites with that half of the force and Revan returns but Revan is so done, so fucking done with living and trying and they had a good run and now they have what was Dark Revan’s and Light Revan’s injuries all on one body and sure if Rev really tried they could probably suck the life force out of some Sith warriors to keep themselves alive but… they just don’t want to. Eventually Tarre finds the fallen Revan reunited at last and stays by their side as Revan finally lets go and becomes one with the force. After the battle Tarre brings Revan’s body back to the Temple to be burnt as Revan had requested but their armour, lightsabers, and other possessions would be taken to a place only Tarre knew of to be sealed away until a far descendent of Revan’s comes along to claim them as their own. The war isn’t over and Revan’s passing only fuels Tarre further into defeating the Sith empire that the republic eventually does after 20 years of war. 

Conclusion 

And that’s the overall story of this Revan, I know very long, very deep, wtf this is your second post after a what? 1 year break? Actually let me check… yeah nope about a year has passed since my Crash post. If you have made it this far thanks for reading my first ever “decent” post about something I’ve been developing for a while now in bits and pieces. Sorry it was so long but then again I did miss a lot of shit. If you want to interact and ask more questions about this Revan go ahead my ask box is open (don’t be weird tho and just cos I post long doesn’t mean you have to ask long unless it’s legit). I’ll try and get the Tarre post out tomorrow around this time too or earlier depends. Thanks again for taking the time to read my word vomit. Also sorry if there are any spelling mistakes I have missed.

Have a good one!

[theaviskullguy]

Ink and Petals

@dapple-dualies-propaganda here's the au

Tattoo artist! Rider x Florist! Goggles

hope you enjoy!

---------

When was it not busy at Squid ink?

It was one of the top Tattoo Parlors in Inkopolis. and it was also on a pretty busy street. So, it got a lot of customers. Also the fact that one of the artists was a famous turfer.

Rider hadn't formerly retired, but he had eased out of playing Turf Wars. He had found other interests outside of the sport: Theater, art, reviewing old movies online... He still did Turf from time to time, albeit the adult league. He was too old for the more popular teen division.

So, he found a job as a tattoo artist. And he rather loved it. Not only did most of his friends consult him for tattoo advice (from where the best places are to good designs), but he also knew some gossip. One of his regulars had beef with her neighbor because he has a pet raccoon who keeps stealing her trash and Rider could NOT wait to hear more about this story.

Another thing was, well, Rider had seen some shit. From people covered head to toe in tats, to people eagerly wanting their first tattoo, even to shyer folk who wanted one to defy controlling parents or to mark something important.

None of that prepared Rider for the news he got when tattooing one of the customers. More specifically, Gloves.

You see, Gloves had been coming in for the past few days. They had wanted a pretty complicated butterfly tat, so for the last 3 days Rider has been exchanging stories with the resident enby about... pretty much anything.

This is how this exchange happened;

"So you remember Goggles, right?" Gloves asked.

Rider rolled his eyes. "What, you think I'd forget the guy who kept pulling down my pants?"

"Oh ha ha. Anyways, apparently he works at that flower shop now."

"...He what?"

"You heard me!" They said. "I went there yesterday to get something for a project and there was Goggles! He misses you, 'ya know!"

Rider was just. quiet. He hadn't talked to his crush in a while, contact dwindled when Rider stopped doing Turf as much. Never once did he think Goggles would miss him, but that was probably the self hatred talking.

"...I'll think about it." Was all Rider said.

The conversation continued like nothing happen; Gloves saying multiple cursed things and Rider sharing interesting stories he heard on his job. Time flew by and soon, the tattoo was done; a butterfly with the bi colors on one wing and the nb colors on the other. Rider was quite proud of it, and Gloves seemed to like it. They waved, and left the store, humming to themselves.

Rider looked at the clock. His shift ended in just a few minutes. He knew he had no other appointments that day, so he took to watching old recorded matches in his phone.

Those were over a decade ago. Yet he still remembered everything. His favorite part was still learning he won a match by such a small margin. It was just... amazing.

He sighed. Rider missed those battles. But he has to say, he missed his crush a bit more.

He clocked out, saying goodbye to the other employee-Cherry (business relationships were easy to maintain when your coworkers were your siblings), and headed towards the flower shop for more reasons than one.

Army had a performance the next day. And yeah, Rider knew it was romantic, but platonically giving your best friend flowers was always nice. Plus, he wanted an excuse to see Goggles again.

He looked into the shop-the blue inkling was nowhere to be seen, but then again neither was the front desk. So, Rider shrugged and stepped in.

The floral scent was strong, but not overwhelming. Plenty of blossoms lined the stands, along with tags of what the flowers were and what they meant.

Rider looked around, trying to remember which flowers Army liked again, when he heard a familiar, youthful voice.

"Hi! Need any help?"

The inkling turned around. Goggles had definitely changed since Rider last saw him; his tentacles were longer and in an actual bun, for once. His blue eyes still had that clarity, and he still had that goofy smile. Though he didn't seem to recognize Rider.

"Uhh... I'll be fine. I'm just trying to remember what flower my friend likes the most." He said, hoping his accent didn't give him away; there weren't many in Inkopolis with an Australian accent.

But, Goggles didn't seem to notice or care. "Oh, okay!"

Rider internally breathed a sigh of relief. That would have been awkward if Goggles recognized him.

He looked around the shop, before spotting a bouquet of lilies. He knew Army liked lilies. If they weren't his favorite flower, it'd be close enough.

Rider took a few of the bigger ones, and a few white roses for variety, and took them to the counter.

Goggles smiled. "This a special occasion?"

"Not exactly. Just, my friend's doing a performance for a musical and I wanted to get him something for it." Rider explained.

"What musical?" Gogs asked, arranging the flowers with a sheer, white ribbon tying them together.

"Hadestown. He got Eurydice."

"Oh! I went to go see it last night! Army's amazing at that role. He's your friend, right?"

Rider internally panicked, but calmed down after remembering he wasn't Army's only friend. "Yeah. We've been friends for a while now."

"Well, tell him I said hi!" He handed the bouquet to Rider. "On me, alright? It's for a friend anyways!"

Rider nodded. "Thanks, mate."

"You're welcome!"

------

A few weeks went by. Rider occasionally stopped at the flower shop and got flowers for...well, no real reason. He'd use them to add color to his house, or give them to friends. He just wanted an excuse to see Goggles.

He'd talked to the blue inkling a bit more, too. He'd gotten into the business since, well, he really liked flowers, and he wanted a job where he could just...relax! He still did Turf, of course, but the Adult league was more serious than the teen one, and he just wanted to have fun instead of be expected to take a game seriously.

He still didn't recognize Rider. The yellow-green inkling was a bit hurt by this, to be honest.

Though, it was a bit startling when Goggles actually walked into Rider's work. And Rider was assigned to give Goggles his first tattoo: A blue jay on his shoulder, taking off from a branch.

This time, it was Goggles' turn to ask questions as Rider worked.

"Sooo.... you've been coming into my shop for a while and I still don't know your name!" The blue inkling stated. "I mean, you can probably recognize me though!"

Rider shrugged. "Well, who can forget Goggles of the Idiot Blue team?"

Goggles giggled. "You do know me! I still don't know you!!"

"...I can assure you, we've met before that day I got Army flowers." Rider said.

"Ooh! Can I try and guess who you are?"

"Ehh, why not."

"Okay! Umm..." Goggles thought for a moment. "Clams facemask?"

Rider shook his head. "Nope."

"Inkfall?"

"Wrong."

"Eging Jr?"

"Not even close there."

"Stealth Goggles?"

"Getting closer, I'll give you that."

"....Rider?" Goggles asked.

Rider chuckled. "Took you long enough, idiot."

Goggles smiled wide. "I finally found you! Hi Riri!"

"Hey, Gogs. It's been a while."

"Yeah! I'm a bit surprised I didn't recognize you, since we were pretty close!" Goggles stated.

Rider shrugged. "Well, I'm not the most memorable person anyways."

"Riderrrrr don't say that!" Goggles said. "You're still really popular!"

"To some people, maybe. Not everyone."

There was a tense silence, other than the hum of the tattoo needle as it made the drawing.

"....So." Goggles started again. "How's life?"

"It's...well, better than it was." Rider said. "Got my own place, for one. Though it gets a bit lonely.. You?"

"I'm still living in an apartment. I really want a roommate!" Goggles proclaimed. "Maybe we could move in together?"

"..I'll think about it, Gogs. Though it might be fun being your roommate."

"Really? Thanks Rider!" Goggled smiled.

The conversation grew more casual. Rider enjoyed it; turns out Goggles had his fair share of gossip. It was kinda cool.

And as the next few days passed, Rider looked forward to each of those sessions. His crush seemed to go from "this person would be fun to date i think" to "hOLY MOTHER OF THE GODS IM IN L O V E", and it didn't help that during those meetings, Goggles had to be shirtless.

The days turned into weeks and months. Goggles moved in with Rider, and the two became incredibly close friends.

And, it came to a head near valentines day. Goggles' shop was very busy, as expected. Luckily, Squid Ink wasn't as much.

So, on his day off, just before Valentines, Rider headed to the flower shop and got a bouquet of roses. Cliché to confess on Valentines day, Rider knew, but he's a pining gay cut him some slack.

And Rider came home right as Goggles was leaving for his shift. So, that left Rider with a good 3 hours to practice his confession.

"Alright, Rider. This has to be CASUAL. 'Hey, I've liked you for over a decade but just now had the confidence to confess!' No, too creepy sounding. 'Yo, Gogs. I really like you and maybe we could go out to dinner sometimes?' ...Too casual."

....Yeah, this went on for a while.

Rider groaned, collapsing his his bed. "I wish feelings were fucking easier...I should just call Army."

So, he grabbed his phone and selected the contact, Veronica Sawyer Kinnie

"C'mon, Army... pick up."

And not one ring later, "Rider, what is it?"

"...I need romantic help. Please." Rider asked.

"Look, just because I'm married to Aloha, doesn't mean I know how I ended up here."

"Yeah, I kinda know that." He stated. "Still. I really need some help."

Army sighed. "Who is it? It's totally that one person with the raccoon story-"

"Actually, no. It's, um.... It's Goggles."

The octoling on the other end of the line could be heard sighing. "Still a morosexual I see."

"OI! You're the one who married a fuckin himbo!"

".....Touché. Still, there's a difference."

Rider huffed. "Just... give me some advice. I wanna confess to him tomorrow but I've got no idea how. I'm giving him roses, but like, there's gotta be something more I could do, y'know?"

"Have you tried asking Prince?" Army suggested. "He is the one with the obsession with rom coms and romance novels."

"This is his exam period, Army. I'm not about to potentially interrupt a cram session by asking for romantic advice!"

"Fair enough. I'd say...well, just rip off the band aid. Like... 'Hey, Goggles, I really like you and was wondering if you'd like to be my boyfriend.'"

"...Thanks, Arm. I'll, uh, give it a try."

-------

Rider couldn't sleep that well. Mainly out of anticipation.

He was gonna confess to his crush of...over a decade, at least. He didn't fuckin know what was gonna happen!

Like, would Goggles reciprocate? Would he hate Rider after it? WHAT THE FUCK WOULD HAPPEN-

He sighed. He needed to get his mind off this shit.

Rider looked over to his bedside clock: 5AM. 5 hours before his shift. 5 hours to get his shit together and plan for confessing to the world's cutest but also dumbest man later that night.

C'mon, Rider. Think. Army said to rip it off like a band aid, but Goggles might find that a little sudden and out of the blue. He could write a letter and leave it for Goggles when he went to his shift (The flower shop was closed on Valentines day). That would be a safe option.

Rider sat up, and got out a piece of paper and pencil, writing a note.

"Hey, Goggles.

There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while. I really, really like you. As in, a crush.

I totally get it if you don't like me back, or think I'm weird, but hey, I was wondering if you'd wanna go out to dinner or something. Probably not tonight cause of Valentine's day but maybe tomorrow night or something.

-Rider"

Quickly, he folded it and wrote Goggles' name, putting a little heart sticker on it. It was corny, but hey, Rider had to use up those stickers somehow.

Rider attached it to the roses, and kept it on his desk.

And so, the morning went as normal. He had breakfast, got out of his pjs, put his hair up... the usual.

But as Rider left to go to work, he left the note and rose on the table, and left the house quickly.

During the day, he nearly forgotten all about it; He caught up with the gossip-Apparently the neighbor with the raccoon and the regular were now dating. So that was a nice little end to the story.

Squid Ink wasn't AS busy-probably because it was Valentines day, people were spending it with their lovers, not getting inked up (unless they made the appointment when single)

And it was near the end of Rider's shift when he heard his name mentioned. Probably someone making an appointment before he heard the familiar voice of Goggles going "Okay!!"

The blue inkling walked over to his station. "Hi Ridey!!"

"...Hey, Gogs. Getting another tat?" Rider asked, trying to keep his cool.

Goggles nodded. "Yeah!!!"

"A'ight anything specific in mind or-"

"Can I get just a simple quote one?"

Rider nodded. "Where do you want it?"

Goggles pulled down the collar of his shirt slightly. "Right here, please!"

"Okay. Just try to keep holding that down so I don't mess up.

-----

And so, tattoo conversations ensued.

The quote Goggles had wanted was a simple Pride one, that said "love is love". It was discreet, but a bit of it could be seen poking out if Goggles ever wore a v-neck.

"So, any plans for tonight?" Rider asked, trying to keep things subtle. Maybe Goggles hadn't read the note yet.

The blue inkling nodded. "Kinda! I had mental plans buuuuut nothing serious."

Rider raised an eyebrow. "Who with?"

"..I m-mean, I still have to ask him.." Goggles' face turned a shade of blue, and he averted his gaze.

"....Can I guess who he is?"

"If ya can!"

He smiled. "Does his name have an R in it?" Rider had a guess it was himself, but it wouldn't hurt to check.

Goggles nodded. "Yeah!"

"Got an accent?"

"Yep!!"

"Is he doing your tattoo?"

"....y-yeah?" Goggles sheepishly smiled. "I'm n-not that discreet, am I?"

Rider chuckled, but on the inside he was screeching. "Honestly? I had no clue myself."

"Really? I've been dropping the most obvious hints!"

"...Like what?" Rider asked, now a bit curious.

"Welllll I've been picking movies you like during movie night, I've made sure to get your drink on coffee runs, Oh! And I offered to cook dinner that one time!" Goggles stated.

"...Damn. I'm just oblivious then." The former dynamo user laughed, before turning off the needle. "There. It's all done." Rider held up a mirror for the blue boy.

Goggles' face lit up. "Whoa! It looks amazing!!! Thanks Riri!"

Rider smiled. "You're welcome. Now, uh, ...did you read my note?"

"..Y-yeah, I did. And, um...I like you too Rider!!" The blue man pressed a small, quick kiss to Rider's cheek.

Rider blushed. "S-so, you'll let me t-take you out?"

Goggles nodded. "Yeah!!!"

"I...thanks, Gogs."

"You're welcome Riri!!!"

----------

aAAAAA RUSHED END

but like. hope yall enjoy!

[nekomasmngr]

unwind

➳ synopsis: You wanted to be warm more than anything. After a rough day at work and the bitter weather that seemed to cloud your mood, you couldn’t wait to get home and shut yourself away from the world. But, as much as you yearned for warmth, that wasn’t the only thing you needed today.

➳ genre: slice of life, comfort to fluff, established relationship between you and Suga!

➳ warning: just in case, there are mentions of being overworked and exhaustion, fidgeting behavior, self-deprecating thoughts, signs of an upcoming breakdown, post timeskip!suga, patient and loving suga <3

➳ word count: 3.861k

➳ a/n: here’s my sfw secret santa gift for @bugmomwrites !! this was a joy to write and i think i have a thing for writing long one shots for suga and i’m really glad you enjoyed reading this! posting this on record cause im quite proud of it hehe (っ◔◡◔)っ

Warmth. 

That was all you had in mind. It was all you needed. 

Feet were being dragged as you trudged along the side of the road. Adjusting your form that was bundled up in layers to trap your own body heat. Yet, every step you took, every breath you released; warmth just kept escaping you. 

Your mind felt so muddy. You fidget and flex your fingers to try to keep them from freezing stiff from the brisk blow of the cold air, yet you had your attention recalling the events that occurred earlier in the day: the mistakes, the slip ups, and the lectures you got from your ever so judgemental inner critic. You’ve probably spent most of your energy making sure to get through the day as best as you can even if it meant feeling more overworked and exhausted than usual. 

Today wasn’t kind to you at all. You just wanted to warm yourself up with a nice bath, maybe order in some pizza and pig out on some ice cream, close the blinds on your windows and turn up a good sob story, maybe even cuddle up with your fluffy blankets and pillows—

A sharp buzz from your pocket pulled you out of your thoughts of relaxation, with a text from Sugawara that read: ‘Hey bubba! how was work? I’m almost at your place! can’t wait to see you!’

Oh no. 

It was date night with Suga. 

How could you forget?! 

Suga’s job at the elementary school demanded a lot of his time and attention. You, being the supporting girlfriend, didn’t want to be a distraction or an added burden to his job. So, you both agreed to focus on yourselves for the meantime. But, you both also decided to dedicate a night, once a week to see each other again— hence, date night.

Knowing the holidays were coming up, both of you had been assigned more tasks that usual, as the year comes to an end. Days were long and nights were lonely, weekends would be filled with other demands and unfinished deadlines. The time spent apart couldn’t be more evident that it was now and this night would be the first date you would have in weeks. You wouldn’t deny it— you missed Sugawara desperately. 

You started to think of what you both could do for date night. ‘Would he want to go out for dinner? Maybe see that new movie that was just released last week? Hm, or maybe we could catch up with some of his old friends, it is the holidays after all. Oh no, I have to change my clothes. Maybe put on a nice dress? But, it is colder at night, maybe some dress pants? Ew, that’s like going out with work friends.’ 

Your thoughts were running through every activity you could do and all the other things you needed to do to prepare for the date. An overwhelming burn rose inside of your chest, bubbling up with a mixture of excitement, panic, and nervousness. 

Another gust of wind blew through your face, biting your cheeks and nipping your nose. You were instantly reminded of the earlier weight you just had on your shoulders. The exhaustion you still felt made you think of how much energy you had already lost and how much you would have to use to get through tonight. It would take too much energy to entertain someone today, even if it was your boyfriend. 

You frowned for even thinking of cancelling date night. What kind of girlfriend would you be if you did? He might think you’d rather not spend time with him at all or worse, he might think you believe that both of you started to drift apart. 

You were slowly feeling more irritable at the different thoughts and little noises that just irked you more than they should. If you had to see Suga today, you definitely didn’t want to accidentally snap at him. Your head started to get dizzy as you kept thinking whilst fighting off your fatigue. 

Inside, you knew you missed Koushi so much. Just seeing him would probably make you feel better, with that smile of his that always brightened your day. However, you couldn’t ignore your aching muscles, the crick in your neck and the stress on your back. Your nerves were on fire and all you really wanted was for it to stop.

It seems as though your thoughts held your attention ever so fervently, because next thing you knew, you were standing right outside the door to your apartment. 

With a sigh, you squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath before jamming your key into the door. Stepping inside, you were greeted by a deafening silence. 

You had some coats and jackets strewn across your common area. The weather had been getting chillier lately and you had different articles of clothing available to you if ever you needed the extra warmth. A few knick knacks, memorabilia, and picture frames decorated the walls and shelves. The slight mess was homey to you. It made the place look alive and lived in, but right now it was an unearthly empty apartment. Something didn’t feel right. You didn’t know what it was, but the walls didn’t hold the warmth you yearned for. 

Frustrated at your dissatisfaction, you took a straight path to grab a glass of water that would hopefully clear your head. 

In the middle of your third glass of water, a knock at the door sounded. 

You flinched at the sound. Suga.

You mentally kicked yourself for getting distracted. You were so preoccupied with your own thoughts and feelings, you completely ghosted your own boyfriend. If only you had better focused and weren’t so bothered by every little thing that did bothered you; you would actually be a better employee or a better significant other— just someone better that deserves love. 

Dejectedly, you put down your glass and timidly inched towards the door. Opening it to meet soft doe eyes that looked at you in anticipation. Suga started out with a simple greeting and a bright smile that slightly put your aching heart at ease.

“Hey,” you replied, giving him a small smile in return. 

Entering your apartment, he started to get comfortable as you always allowed him to do so. Taking off his coat and putting down his bags, he turned to you to start the night’s activities. But you cut him off as soon as he opened his mouth. 

“I’m sorry,” your eyes casted down on the ground, both of your hands coming together to fidget with your fingers. 

“Oh, for what?” 

“I didn’t reply. I—,” with hesitation, you bit the inside of your cheek at how ridiculous you must have looked with your weak excuses, “I had a rough day and I’m just really…” Everything suddenly came rushing back to you: your thoughts of self-criticism, your slip ups at work, the cold that prickled your skin, the wasted time you spent on being preoccupied with your own thoughts, your tiredness and headaches—  all the things that seemed to drive you to your limit. 

You sounded silly with your struggle to form words without getting choked up by your exhaustion. You shut your eyes tightly to try to reset your mind and say what you wanted to say straight. 

Suddenly, gentle arms wrapped around you as you were pulled into a warm embrace. 

“Hey, hey. It’s alright.” A familiar hand rested on the back of your head and soon you rested your forehead onto your boyfriend. “It’s okay, there’s no rush, love.” 

Time seemed to stand still as you took in every bit of reassurance that spilled with his every word. Suga immediately saw your inner battle as he was attuned to most of your quirks and habits. He knew you just needed someone to hold you close. 

Unlike the present, most days, you would be filled with so much energy, just bouncing around, talking about the most random things. Bright smiles, heart-filled laughter, and matched chaotic energy exchanged between the two of you. 

You could easily ease up the most stressful days of work, where he’d come home tired from teaching the kids and administrative work for the school. But as soon as he saw you, all his exhaustion seemed to turn into more energy. You’d be so eager to listen to every word he would say about his day and he’d be just as happy to tell you all the cute little things the kids did— any sign of his own exhaustion had disspelled.

But of course, there are the days when you would be just as exhausted as he would be on those days, if not more with all the extra energy you spent trying to keep yourself together. Perhaps, today was one of those days. 

Tender lips pressed on the crown of your head. You felt soft movement against your skin as you heard your boyfriend’s kind words, “Is something wrong?”

You deeply sighed into his chest, your breath expelling heat that warmed the both of you. Shoulders and back muscles instantly relax into his strong arms. Your head slowly motions into a nod, but you don’t quite want to face him just yet. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

You bit your lip and buried your face further into Suga’s chest, shaking your head. 

He smiled at how adorable you had become and piped out a suggestion, “Hmm, how bout a nap first?”

You turned your head to look up at him, but your eyes shifted away as you saw his soft gaze. “But, date night…” you trailed off, not knowing how to say that you didn’t want to cancel on him. 

“It’s okay. You need to rest first, okay? We can talk later, but right now, take as much time as you need.”

Keeping an arm around you, he led you to your room and stopped at the side of your bed. Your own arms instinctively wrapped around your form to trap the leftover weight that lingered from the absent arms. 

“Do you need anything else?” Sugawara asked, fluffing up your pillows and opening the bedsheets up for you to slide right in. 

You took his hand and tugged him beside you; a signal for him to take a nap with you. 

As comfortable as you may have looked, with your head on his chest and your arms wrapped around his middle; your body didn’t fully relax just yet. You didn’t usually feel this shy when cuddling with Koushi. In fact, being vulnerable with each other was something you loved most about your relationship. But, there are still days when you would retreat into your own shell, when your mind kept up with your racing thoughts that only ever burned at your tired heart. 

Smooth thumbs ever so gently rubbed on your shoulder, pulling you out of the tension you were holding yourself hostage. Like a silent knock of permission, you were reminded of his overwhelming presence; the absolute love and lack of judgement that you would always be reassured of. No amount of shame, guilt, or sadness that you might feel would ever be hidden from Koushi. Just as he could never hide something from you. 

Trying to steady your beating heart from the rush of emotions that just went by you in such a short time. You slowly focused your mind on what's happening now, at that moment. 

With plush covers enveloping you, head resting on your loyal pillow and your favorite part— warm arms that led to careful hands. Suga dragged his palms slowly from your shoulder to your head. 

You felt gentle fingertips push against the middle of your brows, unaware that you had furrowed them in an attempt to make sense of your thoughts. 

“You can go to sleep, love.” Sugawara whispered, with a voice so soft and deep it was like a lullaby to your heart. With a last hum, you acknowledged his words and focused on the steady beat of Suga’s heart that hushed you to sleep.

Cold.

That was what you awoke to. 

Sitting up from your nest of blankets, you pouted at the absence of your boyfriend from your side. Stretching out your limbs from your position, you heard satisfying cracks from aching joints that have been stiffened for what felt like hours. Taking a glance at the clock on your nightstand, it had been a little over an hour since you were sent off to sleep in the sweet arms of home. 

Raising your nose into the air, you gave a whiff of something utterly delectable. Muffled sounds of padding feet and subtle rustling of metal, you suspected someone was in the kitchen area. With the thought of the mystery that was happening outside of your room, your stomach grumbled loudly as to add to the equation. 

As you entered your small common area, you were fixed on a familiar head of fluffy grey hair that seemed to float across the living space. Your boyfriend was carrying a couple of plates and glasses and arranged them on top of the placemats and utensils that rested on the low coffee table. All that was missing was the food.

Wondering if you had just imagined the earlier scent of delight, a couple of paper bags that were placed near the floor of the couch caught your eye. You perked up at the size of the bags and the likelihood of the great amounts of foods and snacks that could be inside. 

As if on cue, Sugawara greeted you with a shining smile that struck a good light into your soul. “Good morning, sleepy Bugs!” He walked towards you and gave you a sweet peck on the cheek. “How was your nap?”

“Um, it was good,” slightly suprised from the amount of affection you had just been given and from the sight before you, you remember feeling rejuvinated after that nap he suggested you take. “It was really good.” 

After having rested, you definitely felt better than you did the whole day. Suga definitely grounded you when you needed it the most and gestures like that never ceased to warm your heart at how he knew you so well. 

Fixiating your gaze on your boyfriend, you observed him unpacking your favorite foods from their packaging, placing them neatly on your dishware. 

“What’s all this?” You gestured to the set-up he had laid out on your coffee table. He gave a little shrug and looked up at you with a small smile, “I figured you would be hungry once you woke up, so I got us dinner.”

He was right once again. Your stomach cried at the sight of your favorite foods spread out infront of you.

“And since, it’s still date night. I thought we could just have a little self-care date just here.” he said as he motions to his little dinner party layout; both of you would be seated on the ground, with backs against the couch facing the television, fresh food on both your plates, a couple of bags of chips and soda on the side. It was comfy and casual, but seemed just perfect for the two of you. 

With a blanket on his lap, Suga looked up at you, head held high in anticipation of praise and a smile that lured you to sit by his side. 

“You sure you don’t want to go out?” you asked just to be sure. Your eyes locking on his, analyzing any hesitation or disappointment he might have over having to have to stay in on date night.

“Any moment spent with you is a date to me already.” He admitted with a grin. Your face scrunched at the sound of his affectionate line. You snorted until you both let out a laugh at how cheesy that sounded. “That was too cheesy, even for you.” You smiled at him. 

He whined at your tease, but quickly pushed your plates to yourselves eager to dig into your meals. 

As you ate, you conversed about what he had planned for the night, thinking of the time he must have spent devising this lovely impromptu evening. 

“We could watch a movie together,” he offered, “maybe do some skin care, what do you think of that?” 

“Skin care? You want to do that?” 

“Yeah! I want the full experience! I wanna get a fluffy headband to pull back my hair.” As if to show proof, he excitedly shook his head, making his fluffy grey hair bounce around. 

“I want to know about those uh, face washers?” he thought for a moment, turning away to take a peak at another paper bag that you didn’t notice before. “Or was it face masks? You know, to bring a little glow to the skin.” Suga said as he brought out some sheets of face masks that he must have bought when you were sleeping.

You almost awed at the sight of how enthusiastic and prepared he was. But, it was nothing unexpected of your boyfriend. Any spontaneous antics you would come up with, he’d support it either way, whether it was a surprise visit at each other’s work areas or a 2am drive to the nearest 24 hour fast food restaurant for a ridiculous craving; it was always something exciting with Koushi.

After a second to think, you answered honestly. “Yeah, we could do that. My skin’s feeling a little dry lately.” 

Immediately thinking of the other products you had that the two of you could use, but curious eyes pulled you from your thoughts as Sugawara studied your face, “Oh yeah, it does.” He leaned back and nodded, “You might need the whole treatment more than me, Bugs.” Taking a bite of food, he put on a classic innocent smile, but that could never fool you. 

How cheeky he had become all of a sudden. You groaned at his little act of mockery and gave him a sharp shove on the shoulder. 

The little joker lurched forward, spilling his food back on his plate, “Oi! I could’ve choked on my food!” he exclaimed.

“Oh, do you need some prune juice to water it down, old man? ” you retorted back at him. 

The night continued on with your customary jokes and teasing. As Sugawara planned, after your dinner, you were both seated on the couch, swaddled in your comfiest clothes and blankets. Headbands clearing any stray hair away from each other’s line of sight, as fresh face masks adorned your gleeful faces. 

It was refreshing to not have to worry about what happens next and how much energy you had to spend to act as though you were enjoying. It all just came so natural with Suga. You didn’t have to keep up a facade, like a professional one at work, thinking over each task and mistake you inevitably made and repenting for it. 

Tonight was just about the two of you. Addressing each other’s needs and soaking in each other’s genuine presence. It was a slow day, nothing extraordinary, but it satisfied you both to know the security you felt in each other. Feeling as though you were both constant in each other’s lives, especially in this age of uncertainty. 

As the night came to a close, you both retreated to your earlier position. Limbs entangled with one another, the comforting beating of each other’s hearts slowly tuning in sync. You both haven’t quite fallen asleep yet, having felt the air fill up with unsaid thoughts and yet, none were uttered as a blanket of silence covered the entire room. 

You didn’t know how long you both just laid there, but you remembered feeling the dancing fingers that were playing with your hair, halting its movements. Followed by a light poke on your cheek which brought you out of your own trance.

“Hey,” Koushi chimed in, “we forgot to do one last thing.” You hummed as you turned your head expectantly at him. 

“But we don’t have to do it, if you don’t wanna talk about it okay?” You nodded in agreement, paitently waiting for his next words.

“We haven’t talked about your day yet. How was it?”

Ah, you knew this was coming. Sugawara would never let you go to sleep without acknowledging both the good and the bad things of the day. Having spent a good 4 hours on your date night, ignoring the bad and recharging your emotional battery, it seemed like a good time to bring up what bothered you. 

In a way, this was something you were grateful for. Recounting the events of the day felt easier to talk about  now rather than how you would have expressed them earlier that evening. Allowing yourself to understand the bad things in life validated those rush of emotions you felt which didn’t seem as muddy as it was before. Which is why you would always be grateful for Sugawara for being who he was. Knowing that he knows how you work made you feel special, made you feel seen by someone who was a witness to all of the different parts of you. 

As you end your cathartic narrative, you gave your boyfriend the softest of smiles that hopefully showed how thankful you were for being able to have a safe space for your emotions.

He mimicked your look and added, “I know it’s sometimes hard to admit these kinds of things.” His smooth palms took your hand that was on his chest in the softest of grips, bringing them to his lips for a kiss. 

“But, you can always talk to me about them, alright?” 

It was in the way his eyes glowed along with the moonlight that spilled in from the window, hinted at something deeper than just ‘these kinds of things’. Trust seeped out from his gaze and into yours as you understood his real message that Sugawara meant. That he was here for anything; anything you wanted to say, anything you wanted to do, and anything you felt like—

He was here for you. 

Sugawara wrapped both of his arms around your frame for a firm embrace and poured every reassuring emotion into his hug. Making it known to you that you can always count on him to be there for you. 

Basking in each other’s arms, you savored in the overwhelming soothing warmth that you both shared. A knowing inkling chimed at the back of your head bringing to light the earlier encounter with the unknown missing presence after having entered your empty apartment.

Warmth was missing.

More importantly, Suga’s warmth. 

This was all you needed to unwind from the worldly chaos that you go through everyday. It is in his arms where you feel the safest and it’s a place you wouldn’t want to leave anytime soon. 

His actions today showed you how attentive and dedicated he was to you. Pure love and care was all that you felt while being with him today and you believed in him to be there, with just as much love and care (if not more), in the days to come.

[wkemeup]

In the Embers

summary: Bucky finds his burdens weigh a little less when he’s with you pairing: bucky x reader word count: 4.6k warnings: self-loathing!bucky, PTSD symptoms, talkin bout ✨S P A C E✨ a/n: this was done for @sourpatchkidsandacokecan writing challenge! I had the prompt “I’m having a bonfire. You should join me” and because im incapable of writing fluff without first prefacing it with angst, I apologize. (Also included anon’s request of playing with Bucky’s hair)

The universe simply wouldn’t let Bucky Barnes set right all the wrongs he’d committed in his life. He was certain that in every attempt he made to step closer to the light, the cold embrace of a cruel, empty darkness would shove him several paces back and down into the abyss of a never-ending pit, leaving him with no way to climb back up to the surface.

The universe would find a way to keep him alienated from those who worked so tirelessly to help him, to make sure he stayed as lost and broken as Hydra made him to be, to ensure that he never made amends for his crimes the way he so desperately needed.

He was never meant for anything more, he supposed. He was tempting fate at it was, just simply continuing to live after all he’d done.

Perhaps he should have known his first mission with the Avengers would be a colossal failure. It was supposed to be simple, something to ease him back into the field; something his stupid, mushed up brain should have been able to comprehend, but he couldn’t even do that, could he?

No. Instead, when Bucky was meant to stand guard while Natasha finished downloading the software she was assigned to extract from the Hydra warehouse, he’d been distracted. He lost his focus for only a moment; his eyes having darted over to a room on his right. No, a cell. A prison.

It looked too much like the one he’d seen in his nightmares; the one he only got bits and pieces of in his memories. He recognized the cement flooring and the metal door with bars over the impenetrable glass. He knew the faint discoloration of red along the floor in the hallway leading into the room, like a bloodied body had been dragged and thrown inside without remorse. The smell of something decaying burned in his noise and his breath felt shallow in his lungs.

He knew this wasn’t where he was held. Steve had been able to track down enough answers for him to know Hydra had never kept him in South America, but it was just so familiar. He froze up, hands sweating and heart pounding so loud he was certain someone might hear it through the coms. His breaths were too pained, too fast, and he didn’t notice the Hydra agent come up on his left and lunge at Natasha.

A knife scraped along her arm as she attempted to dodge the attack and her yelp was the only thing that shocked Bucky back to his body. He rushed in to help, but it was already too late. The Hydra agent had managed to destroy the computer before the download was finished and alerted the entire building the Avengers were present.

Red flashing lights and sirens echoed in the halls as Natasha sprinted past him. She shot him a look; something of frustration and understanding mixed in one, and Bucky clenched his jaw so tightly he was sure it would never unlock again. He chased after her, escaping the influx of dozens of Hydra agents because he knew staying to fight wasn’t an option.

The jet was quiet on the way home. Fury had called in for an update and Bucky all but slumped into his seat in an effort to disappear as Steve reported the mission had failed. Stark, who was still getting used to the idea of having Bucky around in the first place, was grumbling under his breath, staring daggers at the reformed Winter Soldier and Bucky couldn’t help but think Steve should have just come out with it and told the director that he was the one that fucked up.

Steve was too understanding, too forgiving of his old friend, and everyone on the jet knew it. It was the disappointment in Steve’s eyes that hurt more than anything else. He thought Bucky was ready for something like this, thought Bucky was stronger than he was, but he wasn’t.

He was weak, and pathetic, and set to lose it at any given second. He was a raging mess of trauma and panic attacks and nothing he did seemed to make any of it better. Steve should have known not to trust him. He could barely trust himself.

Hours after the jet landed, Bucky sat alone in the dark of the living room, clutching at his hair enough to burn in his scalp, hunched over on his knees. He didn’t know why he even bothered to leave his room after the team returned, but the walls were just so white, his lack of belongings so evident, it left a kind of emptiness hanging in the air mirrored to that in his chest.

The whole team was elsewhere, no one around to witness his unbridled self-loathing and poor attempts to pull himself together. Steve and Stark were still holed up in meetings and attempting to explain why the team would need additional resources to run the mission again to extremely disgruntled higher ups in the Pentagon. Natasha and Sam were sparring down in the gym, getting out their frustration and testing the limits of their aching muscles. Clint was off at the farm with his family, where the guy belonged. Thor was still out in space doing who knows what.

And Bucky?

Bucky was alone.

Until, he heard the soft patter of footsteps sneaking down the hall, a light humming through the air that sent a shiver down his spine, just enough to lift his hands from his head and peak over the edge of the couch.

You whizzed around the kitchen, headphones in and swaying your hips along to a song Bucky could only vaguely hear; something with a light, melodic beat and lyrics you clearly didn’t know the words to. Smile on your face and wrapped up in dark black leggings, a sweatshirt that looked to be about twice your size, fuzzy slippers and a worn scarf, you gathered items from the pantry and set them on the countertop.

Bucky watched, not noticing that his anxiety had started to go down as you filtered through old cereal boxes and dug out a box of graham crackers from the back of the shelf and tossed a bag of marshmallows onto the counter. You dug into the plastic bag and popped one of the white clouds into your mouth with a content sigh, almost a moan, and Bucky found his lips curve just a little. Certainly not enough for anyone to notice, but enough that muscles were used that hadn’t been in a while.

Next, you snuck a block of a chocolate bar from the top shelf Bucky was almost positive belonged to Sam. As you turned back to the counter, gathering everything up in your hands, you froze, eyes falling on Bucky and a breath hitched in his lungs.

You slowly removed your headphones, raising an eyebrow as a smile easily pushed on your cheeks.

“Whatcha doin’ sitting in the dark like that?” you asked, voice sweet as ever and Bucky swore his face must have been beet red from the rush of heat in his cheeks.

He swallowed nervously, hands raking through his hair to tame the mess he’d created as he nearly ripped it out just moments earlier. He stood, slowly, and realizing his legs were a little numb from how long he’d been sitting there.

“Nothing,” he replied, straightening out the wrinkles on his pants. He looked down and realized he was still wearing his stealth suit. You must have noticed too because you started to laugh a little. It made Bucky’s stomach twist in knots. 

He turned to leave, needed to get out before he made an even bigger fool of himself. You were the last person he wanted to know that he was as broken and damaged as the rest of them thought.

“Well, if you’re not doing anything,” you called after him, unbothered as Bucky tried to escape the room, a mischievous smile on your face as you gathered up your snacks. “I’m having a bonfire. You should join me.”

Bucky froze in his tracks, a careful look over his shoulder. “What?”

You nodded, walking closer to him. “I mean, you should change first. Can’t imagine Kevlar and thigh holsters will be very comfortable out there. Dress warm, alright?”

You turned to walk away, just assuming he’d come because you always did think the best of him, despite having absolutely no reason to. Bucky watched as you practically skipped down the rest of the hall, waiting impatiently by the elevator, and you sent him a beaming smile before you stepped inside. If Bucky didn’t know better, he might have thought he was dreaming.

He’d only been living at the compound for a few months now since his pardon and he’d largely kept to himself. He'd take long runs outside alone and eat most of his meals in his room. Never one to initiate interaction, though he agreed to spar with Steve and Sam on occasions. Throwing fists was easier than talking. Talking was how his demons seemed to fall out. He’d say the wrong thing or remind Steve that he wasn’t who he used to be and he’d just get those sad, disappointed eyes again.

Steve never meant to make him feel so unwanted. He knew that, but Steve longed for Bucky as he was before the war, forgetting that pieces of him were still right here; damaged and broken, but still here.

Things were different with you. You never once asked him to be anything he wasn’t. You never stepped around eggshells or treated him like he was something to be feared. You never left the room as soon as he’d walk in and often purposefully went out of your way to ask him what he was doing that day or to include him in whatever pop culture argument you were having with Sam, even though Bucky couldn’t begin to follow what you were talking about. You’d invite him to every movie night, no matter how often he declined. You encouraged him to come to the publicity events and promised to make fun of Sam the whole time if he came.

Try as you did, you never could get Bucky to open up.

Except for tonight, it seemed.

He appreciated your gesture more than he admitted; out loud and to himself. He did start to notice the way his stomach hurt when you’d be a day overdue on your check-in’s while on missions overseas and how he often glanced over to your spot on the couch when you weren’t around. He noticed that his heart skipped a little when you’d touch his shoulder as you walked by and how your smile seemed to always make him blush.

He put too many rules on himself; so easily giving into the voice that reminded him that he deserved to be alone and isolated and without someone as kind and forgiving as you. He wondered, if maybe he told that voice to shove it, if he could find an ounce of something other than self-deprecation tonight. Any time spent with you would be better than his original plan of allowing his guilt to swallow him whole.

Bucky was already changing out of his suit before he realized it; throwing on an old SHEILD crewneck from Steve and a pair of sweatpants he stole from the training center. The cold didn’t bother him much, but you’d been so sweet all wrapped up in your sweats, it made Bucky want to try for something normal.

You made Bucky want to be normal.

It was how he found himself standing at the edge of the compound, looking out into the dark field to the soft flicker of a fire. You sat curled up on a blanket, smiling and proud of your work. You didn’t notice him just yet and Bucky decided he liked the way you smiled to yourself when you thought no one was watching.

He started to make his way over to you and you nearly jumped as he approached, hand clutching at your chest to still your heart and you started to laugh.

“Bucky! You scared me!” you grinned, making room for him on the blanket and patting the surface next to you for him to sit down. He did so, amazed that the feel of your thigh against his didn’t scare him away. If anything, it made him want more.  

“You’re surprised I came?” he asked softly, a semblance of a smile on his lips.

“Of course, I’m surprised, Bucky! You never come to anything I ask you to,” you replied and Bucky frowned, a twinge of guilt in his chest, but your smile was too bright for it to stay long as you continued, “but I’m really glad you did. Now I can give you partial blame for stealing Sam’s chocolate.”

A laugh escaped him before he could suppress it. It felt odd in his chest, but warm, welcoming maybe. “I see your true motives at work here.”

You shrugged, sending him that teasing grin that made his stomach twist, and you plopped a marshmallow on a metal stick and handed it over to him before doing another for yourself.

“You know how to make s’mores, right?” you asked, almost nervously, as Bucky eyes the marshmallow.

“Of course, doll, I wasn’t born in the stone age,” Bucky teased, surprised by his own voice.

“Just before sliced bread,” you shot back, grinning wildly and nudging at his shoulder. You didn’t seem to be affected at all that it was metal you touched, hard and cold beneath the surface of his sweatshirt. Bucky couldn’t help but smile.

***

Ten minutes later and Bucky had already consumed two whole s’mores before you got the perfect toast on a single marshmallow. You berated him for not caring about the ‘art’ of the s’more and that he under toasted or set them ablaze just to eat it sooner. He agreed and you shoved him playfully in the side.

“So where is everyone?” he asked, wiping the marshmallow from his lips, as you lit your third marshmallow on fire with an aggravated huff.

You stuck a new marshmallow on the end of your skewer and held it with careful precision over the flame. It was adorable, the way you squinted at the flames, determination over your features. After a moment, as you felt content with the ratio of flame to heat, you shrugged, answering his question, “right here”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Were you just going to do this by yourself if you didn’t see me in the living room?”

“Sometimes it’s nice to just get away for a while, have some place to think and just be,” you replied softly. “Besides, I like looking at the stars. It makes me feel small.”

If Bucky thought he had a decent read on you before, he was certainly at a loss now. “You like feeling small in the universe?”

“It reminds me that there are things out there that are bigger than myself,” you said, turning the marshmallow over the flame, a pleased smile on your face as the underside was toasted to the color you were looking for. “It reminds me that the little things I used spend days agonizing over only have power if I give it to them.”

The confusion must have read on Bucky’s face because you smiled at him, readjusting in your seat.

“We’re like these little blips,” you explained, pulling your marshmallow away from the flames, “and we only have this impossibly small amount of time here with so much before us and an eternity after we’re gone, and... I don’t know... I guess that makes me remember how important every moment is. I don’t want to spend my time here suffering, you know? I want to enjoy it. I want to do good with it and make it matter.”

Bucky nodded, looking up at the stars as you started to make your first s’more. The patterns of constellations were so clear outside of the city, imperfect patterns and arrays of tiny shiny specs in the sky, stretching out into the vast universe. Each one was a sun to its own solar system, each one surrounded by planets with potential life, and there were billions more than he could take in with his own eyes from this very small corner of a single world.

He knew what you meant about feeling small, though, he wasn’t quite sure how to get to the part about being thankful for his time here. If anything, if felt like his mark has been nothing but pain and violence and destruction. He should be sentenced to spend his time here agonizing over it, shouldn’t he?

“What are you thinking about?” you asked, noticing the contemplation on his face as you finally took a bite of your s’more and marshmallow oozed out the side. You groaned, eyes rolling back before you could catch yourself, and you giggled with full cheeks.

Bucky smiled at that. He might have forgotten entirely if he could just watch you do that again. “Nothing.”

“A face like that isn’t thinking about just nothing,” you retorted teasingly, shoving the rest of the sandwich into your mouth with a satisfied grin.

You had a bit of chocolate on the corner of your lips and Bucky’s hand reached out to brush it away without thinking. Your cheeks were warm from the fire, lips sticky from the marshmallows and the chocolate brushed off easily onto his thumb. He let his hand fall away and wiped it on the grass. He didn’t notice the way you watched him with a kind of awe that would have set his heart on fire.

“Come here,” you urged, pushing your legs out to lie flat on the blanket and gesturing to your lap. Bucky raised an eyebrow, confused, and you tugged on his shoulders, motioning for him to lay down.

Bucky didn’t quite know what to do, but he knew he’d do just about anything you asked, so he laid down along the blanket with his back pressed against the earth, his head resting on the soft cushion of your thigh.

“Look at the stars. They’re never ending. They go on for infinity and carry worlds of possibility. They’re limitless. Let them take some of your pain, Bucky,” you told him gently, leaning back to rest one hand against the grass as another gently wove into his scalp. 

He flinched at first, surprised by the sudden action, but found himself soon melting against the movements as it sent waves of shivers through his head and down his spine.

He did as you instructed, trying to find purpose in the stars, focusing on the gentle lull of your fingers tracing patterns in his hair. He only saw what he could; something beautiful, something vast and endless, but nothing that could take any the guilt he carried.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever find a way to let go of that. It was engrained in him. It was a part of him. The things he did were unforgivable, irredeemable, and it was all consuming. It weighed on him unlike anything else and pushed him so far beneath the surface, his lungs were filled with dirt.

After a while, Bucky’s eyes started to drift, losing focus on the stars you so endearingly found hope in, letting himself fall into the soft embrace of your nails as they wove patterns on his scalp, drawing a calm about him he hadn’t known in years.

“I heard about the mission,” you said quietly, suddenly, like you’d been thinking about it for a while, and Bucky stiffened instantly under your touch, his heart skipping several beats, but your fingers continued to rake gently against his scalp, drawing him back to a sense of calm. “It’s not your fault, you know. They never should have sent you to a Hydra facility on your first mission in the field.”

There was a hint of anger in your voice, like you’d had this conversation before, like maybe you’d argued with someone about it, tried to stop it from happening and no one had listened. Bucky’s stomach started to hurt, thinking that maybe even you, who thought so highly of him, didn’t think he was good enough to be an Avenger.

“There were too many reminders there, you know?” you said, continuing as you looked up at the stars. “I kept thinking they should have sent you to Bratislava with me; ease you into the field by breaking up trafficking rings first and maybe stop a few drug shipments, not by sending you right back to the people who hurt you for so long. I don’t know what they were thinking.”

That surprised him. You wanted to work with him? He knew you didn’t usually take part in Hydra missions after your father had been exposed as one of the double agents in the attack on D.C. There were enough agents with vendettas against Hydra to take on the cause and you were plenty happy to take down bad guys without worldwide organizational skills.

“We’d make a good team, don’t you think?”

Bucky realized then that he wasn’t watching the stars anymore, he was watching you. The flicker of the fire illuminated your skin in soft waves of reds and yellows, warm flush in your cheeks. You glanced down at him, fingers still gently carding through his hair, and he wondered if he’d ever seen a more beautiful smile in his life.

“Yeah, think so,” he replied. He never wanted to raid a Hydra base again if he could spend more time with you like this.

You smiled at him, proud, before you looked back up at the stars. “You’re more than just a culmination of your actions, Bucky. I know you feel like the things you did under Hydra’s control have turned the universe against you and that you’ll never be able to make up for all of it, but you don’t have to save people from burning buildings and throw yourself straight into your trauma to prove you’re good, Buck.”

Bucky sat up slowly, letting your hand fall away from his hair and trace down the side his left arm until it rested delicately on his hand; the metal warm to the touch as it absorbed the heat of the flame. You turned to him, smiling sweetly, though your eyes were sad.

“The small moments count, too,” you said.

“I thought you said the universe took away the small things, that they didn’t matter?” he replied, confused, but you shook your head.

“Only the bad things, Buck; the things that cause you pain.”

“That’s convenient,” he teased, enjoying the way your nose scrunched up in feigned frustration.

“You forget that small moments of good can change someone’s entire day. They can make a world of difference,” you countered, your free hand reaching up to cup the side of his face. He shivered under your touch though he didn’t dare pull away. “The first day I saw you smile is a pretty good example of that, actually.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes at that, surprised.

“I had just gotten into a fight with Fury over the mission he was trying to send me on, one I didn’t believe was the right call, and I was about to go hit a punching bag for hours until my knuckles bled,” you explained, thumb brushing gently along his cheekbone, “but then I saw you sitting in the kitchen with Steve. I don’t even know what you were talking about but Sam had dropped the entirety of his lunch plate on the floor and you just... you smiled. It was wide enough to see the dimples in your cheeks and the wrinkles by your eyes, and I forgot why I was so angry to begin with.”

Bucky didn’t know what to say. He shook his head. “I never knew you were there...”

“I could list dozens of other moments like that Bucky,” you said softly, “and they all add up. Like the days you’d leave out an extra cup of coffee for me on Wednesdays because you figured out I only drink it before my mandatory board meetings and how you always pick up the empty dishes of those sitting around you when you go to clean your own or when you offer to help new recruits struggling with their hand-to-hand in the training gym. Please don’t disregard those moments. They matter. If anything, they matter more because they’re small. These tiny little moments that make the smallest differences and create a chain effect of something... good.”

How long have you been picking up on things like that? 

Did you also know that it was him that always made sure your stockpile of microwave popcorn was full or that he took Natasha’s shift training rookies once a week so the two of you could spend more time together, because he hated seeing you so disappointed each time your schedules clashed. Did you know that his heart eased a little when you walked in the room and the soft hum of your voice made his stomach twist in knots?

“Do you think I’m crazy?” you asked quietly, studying him for a reaction as he got lost in his own thoughts.

“No! No, of course not,” Bucky said, shaking his head, and reaching up for your wrist as you stared to pull your hand away from his face nervously. “I never considered that before, is all. I think I’ll have a lot of small moments to go before I can make up for all I’ve done.”

He said it in a teasing way, but you frowned.

“Not to me,” you said quietly, almost in a whisper. “You’re overflowing with good, Bucky, and I swear, I’m reminded of that every time I get to see you smile.”

Bucky paused, his heart aching and swelling with every word you say. He pulled your hand into his lap, holding it gently. “So, not very often then?”

You grinned, letting out a laugh, and it brought a smile to his face. “No, not very often, but it’s nice to see it now.”

“Might have to start smiling more, I guess,” he replied, a hitch in his breath as you leaned into his chest, arms wrapping around his waist. You started to shove him down to the grass and he let out a heart-filled laugh, letting you lay down beside him along the blanket, head resting on his shoulder, arm draped over his chest.

“Can we just stay here a little longer?” you asked, glancing up at him and he swore he’d never say no to you again. He’d let you take him anywhere you wanted; to movie nights, to extravagant galas, to the ends of the Earth.

“As long as you want, doll,” he sighed, reveling in the warmth of the fire and the press of your body against his.

He’d stare at the stars for an eternity with you.

*insert that meme of Jenny Slate screaming about space*

Thank you so much for reading! ❤️ If you enjoyed this fic, please consider supporting me at my ko-fi account ✨

[buckthegrump]

one stroke and you’ve consumed my waking days

Summary: Bucky has a penpal.

Word Count: 3.4k+

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, mentions of death,

A/n: this does take place in the 40′s but like reader could be POC if y’all catch my drift also this is for @writingbychelle​ ‘s writing challenge prompt is bolded

“I ship out tomorrow ya know,” Bucky said as he leaned against the trunk of the tree deep in the forest. He had decided that it was their spot, a place where they could be in public without really being in public. Hiding in plain sight, or so it goes.

“So you’ve said,” Y/n said. She picked up a small twig and twirled it around in her hand. “Is there a point to your ramblings? Or do you think that my memory is so short that you need to remind me every ten seconds?”

“My point is, I’ve heard that it’s awfully boring the downtime. Unless someone, such as yourself, were to provide me with something that should entertain me.”

She scoffed at him and put the stick back down. “Oh, go fuck yourself.”

“That is not what I meant,” he said sighing but he still had a smile on his face.

“Ok, Barnes, what did you mean then?” She turned to him.

“Write me, please,” Bucky pleaded. “You are the only person I will really want to hear from.”

“And what about Steve? Your family and sisters?” Y/n spun around and walked away from him, knowing he wasn’t far behind.

“Well, of course, hearing from my family and Steve is a given,” he slipped in front of her and stopped making her stop as well, “But it doesn’t sound quite as good when I add so many people does it?”

“You truly are a ladies man aren’t you?” She raised her eyebrows and took a step only for Bucky to stop in front of her again.

“The only lady’s man I care to be is yours,” Bucky said.

She stared at him surprised by the commitment implied by his words. She smiled sadly at him.

“Barnes, you and I -” she began.

“You worry too much about what people think,” he whispered.

“It’s not what they think that scares me, Mr. Barnes,” she looked around terrified that someone would venture this deep into the park, “but rather what they do when they don’t like when someone is different than they are.”

“And that’s the beauty of letters, no one can tell you what’s different,” Bucky said. “And hopefully in the future things will be different.”

“That future seems to be a long ways away,” she said and looked down at the ground.

“I’m just asking you to write me, nothing more,” he said.

Y/n lifted her chin and looked at him. “I suppose I could find time to write you a letter or two.”

“Nothing would make me happier.” Bucky smiled at her in such a way that earned him the smallest of smiles in return.

* * *

James Barnes,

I hope you’re happy. I told you I would write a letter and here I am. Taking time out of my day to write you a letter. Things here are just as they always are. I hope this letter finds you well. I’m sorry to say that I started writing this letter only to realize that I haven’t got much to say. So I shall end the letter here. Sorry I couldn’t entertain you in the way that you’d hoped.

Best wishes,

Y/n L/n

P.S. Steve is well, although if he says that he hasn’t gotten into another fight since you left. He’s lying. He got into one the other day. He’s fine, and I cannot believe I’m writing this but you should see the other guy. Anyway, bye again.

Bucky folded up the piece of paper carefully and placed it in his bag that was under his bed. He pulled out his paper and pen. 

“What are you smiling at Barnes?” One of the men in his unit, Smith, asked from his bunk.

Bucky continued to write but tried to repress his smile.

“Nothing,” Bucky said.

“Yeah, right!” Private Davis said. “Who’s the dame?”

“Leave ‘im alone,” Fraizer said sitting on Bucky’s bunk. “But it is someone from back home?”

“I’m trying to write something, can I please get some quiet?” Bucky asked.

“Fine, fine,” Frazier waved him off and got off the bunk. “But make it quick.”

* * *

Y/n open the mailbox and immediately saw the envelope and her breath got caught in her throat.

She threw the rest of the mail on the table in the entryway and took her one piece of mail and ran to her room.

“And just where are you going in such a hurry?” Her mother yelled after her.

“My room!” She said and slammed the door behind her.

“Y/n! Don’t you go slammin’ no doors!” Her mother yelled.

“Sorry, Ma!” Y/n yelled back with a grimace.

She jumped on her bed and opened the letter.

Dear Y/n,

There are a few things I would like to address from your letter. Number one, I am overjoyed that you wrote me. You don’t know just how happy it made me. Number two, I could never not be entertained by what you have to say. I don’t mind your ramblings so much. 

I feel I should tell you though, all the other boys teased me relentlessly over the smile that I couldn’t wipe off my face no matter how hard I tried after I read your letter. But I fear that you will find some sort of joy in the idea of me being teased.

So Steve really got into a fight? And actually landed a few punches? That might be the most surprising thing I’ve ever read.

Yours truly,

Bucky

P.S. Didn’t anyone tell you that you should open a letter with ‘dear’?

She pressed the letter to her chest before placing it in the drawer of her bedside table. After grabbing everything she would need, she rolled onto her stomach and drafted her next letter.

* * *

“Oooo,” Smith teased holding up an envelope. “Looks like Barnes has got another letter!”

Bucky snatched the letter out of his hand and glared at the younger man. “Fuck off, you piece of shit!”

“You kiss your mama with that mouth?” Davis gasped.

“I fucking hate all of you,” Bucky muttered, he grabbed his notebook and pen before leaving the tent.

It was one of the rare occasions that the weather was nice and Bucky didn’t feel the need to stick around his unit if they were just going to make fun of him. 

He found a semi-secluded area and sat down.

Dear James, (happy?)

Had I known that you were so easily entertained I might not have wasted so much energy in worrying over the lack of content in my last letter. As for your second point, you seem to forget about all the times you found creative ways to get me to stop talking when I was rambling.

And no, Steve didn’t land any punches. I was only joshin’ ya. But Steve did get into another fight but he held his own ok. He’s getting tiresome waiting around while all the other boys get their assignments. He misses you. And I know you’re going to tell me to tell him that he should be happy he is the only eligible man in the area. But not many will give him the time of day. And it’s not like there’s much room for our social circles to overlap so I can’t invite him out with my friends.

I don’t mean to worry you, and I know that you will worry no matter what I say, I just thought you should know the truth so that you don’t read one of his letters and worry even more when all he ever tells you is how good he’s got it.

As for the boys in your unit, I do take a small joy in knowing that you aren’t going to come home with a big head. I hope they continue their teasing, someone has to make sure you stay grounded in my absence.

It’s odd not seeing you. I miss you, but don’t let that get to your head.

Come home soon,

Y/n

P.S. Hasn’t anyone told you that it’s rude to only talk about yourself without asking how the other person is doing?

* * *

Y/n was walking down the street. An unopened letter in her bag. She was on the wrong side of town for her, but she had to see Steve. The trek to his apartment was unusually quiet. She supposed she had the war to thank for that.

Not that she liked the war in any way. She just found it refreshing to walk around and not have to continuously fear for her safety.

“Y/n,” Steve greeted when she finally got to his place.

“You do realize that if you don’t write him and I stop mentioning you, he’ll get suspicious. And you cannot write him from boot camp.” She bounced on the toes of her feet. “I still cannot believe that you actually got into boot camp in the first place.”

“Y/n, I’m begging you. Cover for me, tell him that I’ve fallen ill or something -”

“Oh, yes, because that will put his mind at ease. Great idea Steve,” she rolled her eyes.

“Just find something?” Steve begged again. “I can’t sit around here and do nothing while Bucky and other men lay down their lives.”

She huffed and glared at him. “Fine, but when he comes home I will throw you under the bus.”

She turned back towards the stairs and began her descent.

“Thank you, Y/n,” Steve called after her.

“You owe me big time, Rogers.”

* * *

Dear Y/n, (yes very happy thank you)

I’m glad my misery has brought you joy. Damn, I miss your smile. And your laugh, I know you always say that you don’t have much to laugh about but anytime I got you to smile brought me a sense of pride. Also, I didn’t hear much complaining when I interrupted you. Besides, as much as I like listening to you talk, I enjoy kissing you more.

Thank you for being honest with me about Steve. And I should’ve guessed that he hadn’t gotten any good punches in.

And I’m sorry for coming off as rude. How are things with you? I hope that you aren’t getting into too much trouble. And tell your ma that I miss her food. Everything they feed us here doesn’t taste like anything. If we’re lucky we get salt to ‘season’ our food with.

I’m sorry this letter is so short I’m writing it in secret so that I don’t get made fun of again and I can hear them looking for me.

I miss you too.

With love,

Bucky

P.S. How many times to I have to tell you? Call me Bucky.

* * *

Bucky, 

You can either have ‘dear’ or ‘Bucky’ you don’t get both so make up your mind. But I thought you liked it when I called you James?

Things here are good. Ma says that the second you get back your to come over and eat some real food. I suspect that she will also want to talk to you about something, but I can’t figure out what about.

You assume that I enjoy kissing you as much as you do me. I do but that

I don’t mind a short letter James, as long as I get to hear from you.

You signed the last letter with love. Did you mean it?

My best,

Y/n

P.S. Steve hasn’t gotten into any trouble so far as I know. Promise

* * *

Y/n, (two can play at this game)

A compromise, when you refer to me as Bucky no dear necessary but when you write to James, you must add some sort of affection to it.

I actually have an assignment tomorrow, and I know you won’t get this letter until after but I know what you would say if you were here. You’d tell me to be careful. I will have you know that I am always careful. Or do I have to remind you that I’m not the one who constantly is getting into fights?

And yes, I meant it. I do love you. The war will be over soon and then I will go home to you and we can finally have the life we deserve and if you truly feel we won’t find that in New York I will happily run to distant lands for you.

Your ma loves me, I don’t know why you continue to be surprised by this.

Anyway, I will send you again soon and cannot wait to hear back from you.

All my love,

Bucky

* * *

Y/n sent him another letter, a short one detailing how things were going at work, but when it took longer than normal to respond she feared the worst. It had been about two months since she last heard from him and she hadn’t heard from Steve either. She knew where Captain America was, he was plastered on every poster across town, it would be hard to miss him. 

She still couldn’t get over his growth spurt though, she wondered if Bucky knew. Probably not because Bucky would’ve found a way to get back here just to kick Steve’s ass.

It was two weeks after Steve had gone across the seas to visit the soldiers when she heard from Bucky again.

Dearest Y/n,

I cannot apologize enough for not responding sooner. I was indisposed and couldn’t find any time to write. I’m sorry if I worried you at all but I’m back.

I’m glad things are going well at work and I hope nothing too drastic has changed since your last letter.

Although, I find it funny that you failed to mention in all of your writings that Steve not only grew but is now a superhero? Like from comic books? Because I know that you knew he went off and did something stupid. I thought you loved me.

Respectfully,

Bucky

P.s. I’m not really mad

* * *

Bucky, (I stand by my you can only have one)

Well, I didn’t know he left to become a superhero but ok I didn’t tell you he’d enlisted and actually been shipped off to boot camp. 

If I had told you, you would’ve been distracted and I want you to come home. And clearly, you found him so now the two of you can look after each other.

And as long as you’re ok, I’m ok.

I hope that you are not lying to me about your well being because Steve may lie to you but he won’t lie to me.

All my love,

Y/n

Bucky stared at the letter. ‘All my love’, Bucky knew that she liked him but she had restrained from using language as strong as ‘love’. He had been keeping himself from writing the next letter but he could no longer justify not writing it.

* * *

She didn’t find it odd that he hadn’t responded although, it had only been a week and he’d gone longer than this before.

So she went about her day to day life. It wasn’t until she got an unexpected visitor when she began to worry.

There was an urgent knock at her door and when Y/n opened it Becca Barnes was standing there. Y/n knew something was wrong before Becca could even open her mouth.

“Becca, what’s wrong?” She asked. Although she could probably guess. Nevertheless, she hoped she was wrong. That Becca was having boy troubles and just needed an opinion on what to do.

Becca released a shaky breath not looking away from Y/n. “It’s Bucky.”

“Did he -?” She couldn’t bring herself to finish her question.

“He’s dead, Y/n,” Becca said tearfully, “I’m sorry.” 

Y/n leaned her body weight against the doorway unable to keep herself upright without extra support. Becca was still talking but she barely made out what was said until the end, when Becca handed Y/n a box.

“These are things I think you should have, I’m really very sorry,” Becca said. Y/n pulled her in for a hug. “He really loved you.”

* * *

It was a few weeks before she opened the box. After the funeral, after countless nights crying into her pillow, after forgetting only to remember moments later that she would never speak to him again.

She sat on her bed just as the sun was beginning to rise. Her hands trembled as she removed the lid and caressed the contents. There were a few trinkets that she recognized. There was a letter addressed to her sitting on top of everything.

She almost didn’t want to read it. Because once she had that was it, she would have no new interactions with Bucky. They would never know what would’ve been.

Curiosity got the better of her and she opened the envelope.

Y/n, my love,

This war seems to be never-ending. I miss my home. I miss a bed that doesn’t feel like rocks. I miss you.

I’m not sure what I will do once I get back, job-wise. What does a veteran do after he’s served in the war? That is about the only thing I’m uncertain of though.

I do have plans for other things. Specifically you and me. Don’t think that I don’t plan on asking you to marry me, because I do I just thought I would give you a warning so it doesn’t come as quite a shock. And if you say yes, I will buy you a house, or we could live in the city if you prefer.

Honestly, as long as I have you nothing scares me.

I probably shouldn’t have told you that I plan to propose when I get back, but you know me always jumping the gun on something.

Forever yours,

Bucky

P.S. I’m not sure if I want you to respond to the proposal thing or not, so if you decided to do so please be gentle

She laid her head down on her pillow and stared at the ceiling, unmoving until she finally fell asleep.

* * *

2023

Bucky hadn’t even dared to dream that he would find someone from his past still alive. But when Sam mentioned that his sister, Becca, was still alive he didn’t waste any time in finding her. 

They sat on Becca’s porch and Bucky listened to her tales from her life and the adventures she went on. She tried to apologize for believing Bucky to be dead up until just recently but Bucky insisted that it wasn’t her fault and even if she’d known there was nothing she could have done to change what happened to him.

Near the end of their visit, before Becca made Bucky promise to come back and spend more time with her, which of course he would, she gave him a box.

“I was holding on to this but now that you’re here, I think you should have it,” she said not giving him any context as to what was in the box.

When he got back to the apartment he was currently sharing with Sam, a temporary situation because Bucky wasn’t sure how much more he could handle, he sat in his room and opened the box.

Laying on top of everything was a note addressed to him.

My dearest, James,

I have been putting off writing this letter for a while now, but now seems as good a time as any to do so. It felt odd not writing you back like there was so much left unsaid, unfinished.

For clarity’s sake, I think you should know that I would’ve said yes. Without hesitation, my answer to your question would’ve been yes. And I think we would’ve done well in the country, somewhere upstate. Closer to the city so we wouldn’t have to deal with small-town mentality, but I’ve always wanted a house with a porch.

And whatever job you wanted, I would’ve supported you.

It’s been years since I got your letter and people are telling me to move on. But I cannot find the strength, not that it matters anymore. I’m not sure if anyone has told you but I’m sick. Terminally so. 

I’m actually relieved, this means I won’t have my friends and family telling me that I should find someone new because I don’t think I’d be able to. No one could ever live up to you in my eyes.

That and I will get to see you again. 

I will see you soon my love.

Love always,

Y/n

[authorized-trash]

To Tie a Knot: Chapter 4: That Moment When Fate Ships You With Four Other People

Ao3

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Five

Content Warnings: Mentioned character death, vomit mention, self deprecation, panic attack, cursing, (tell me if there's more)

Chapter Summary:

That moment when you need to find yet another boyfriend to add to your collection, *sigh*.

Word Count:

2,500+

Note:

I was hit with inspiration for some reason, so here’s this chapter, and the next one will be up in a little bit, I just got to format it for tumblr. Sorry its been awhile, this story is kinda just, I update whenever my mind decides to. 

Everyone over on Ao3 has taken well to this chapter and the next chapter, so I hope you all do too!

(Incase you were wondering, i changed up the chapter titles, i got tired of trying to come up with different alliterate phrases, so im just gonna be dumb with the titles as;ldfkj)

- -

Damian hadn’t even noticed when he slumped to his knees. Tears dripped from his cheeks and landed onto his outstretched palm. Remy’s eyes widened and he quickly moved to get on Damian’s level.

“Dee? You okay there? Did you not know?” He asked, gently taking Damian’s trembling hands in his own. Damian let him, too shocked to take them back.

“N-no? What? How am I supposed to deal with four Remy, I already lost one I can’t- I can’t lose four!” Damian said, staring blankly at his hands, at the strings he was now aware of. He could feel them tug and twitch as his soulmates moved. They were all pretty close to one another, stretching in the same direction. Figures, they had probably met up by now. 

Damian was the outcast.

“You aren’t going to lose them,” Remy said, an edge to his voice, “Damian you won’t lose them, you were jus- just unlucky the first time, babes, I promise. This time will be better.”

“No Remy you don’t understand, they’re paired with me, they’ll die, I’m bad luck or something-”

“Damian Janus Lyer, don’t. Don’t say that. You’re not. I know you, this isn’t you, you’re just tired and not thinking clearly. This is a good thing. You aren’t bad luck. You aren’t, and babes, if I hear you say that one more time I’m going to throw some punches,” Remy said. Damian gave a watery chuckle, and Remy smirked.

“Listen, you are in no state to go in there right now. Why don’t we ditch for a little while and go get some food or somethin’”

Damian nodded, moving to stand. He dusted himself off. He looked down at his strings. The four colors were all lovely, red, blue, indigo, and purple. The colors were deep and ethereal in a magicky sort of way. 

Without thinking he strummed a finger across them, and startled when three out of the four tugged back. The last one, purple, started vibrating in a way that one would think meant the person on the other side was running their finger across the line.

More tears gathered in Damian’s eyes. He was connected with these people. They were his soulmates. They were there, on the other side, waiting. The thought of them being disappointed weighed heavy, but in this small moment he could only think of the opportunity that was given to him.

Remy watched this with a small smile, ruffling Damian’s hair as they began to walk off campus to his car.

Damian followed, hurriedly wiping the tears from his eyes and smoothing his hair down.

“Listen, babes, you pick where we eat, and I’ll pay.”

Damian shrugged, “Thanks.”

“What? No arguing that you’ll pay this time?”

Damian rolled his eyes, “You offered and I’m too emotionally confused to argue.” 

His voice was thick with tears and still wobbled every once in a while, but he had managed to compose himself well enough by now. He slid into the car seat next to Remy.

He made a point not to touch the strings, not wanting them to move. He didn’t want to seem needy or something. He relaxed fractionally, attempting to gaige some personality from the strings. Indigo (Or was it navy? It was rather dark, nearly black. It was decidedly not black when reflecting light), was shaking around as if someone was writing with that hand. Red was pretty still, expect for a few swoopy movements, as if the person was flailing their arms around. Purple was shaking slightly but otherwise not moving, and blue was fluttering around like crazy, and Damian was certain the person was messing with their string.

For a moment he wondered what his string looked like to them. He hoped it was yellow, maybe gold. He liked those colors. Green would also be nice, but he doubted that was the color, seeing as his last soul string was gre-

Damian’s breath hitched, and that feeling of loss hit him hard, and he clenched his hands into fists. Remy glanced over at him, but didn’t comment.

He was so caught up in this new soulmate business he had forgotten he had already had one. One he had lost. The string he had grown up with, the one he had talked about with friends in grade school. The one that appeared on his fragile little hands when he was born. The part of his soul that he grew to know.

The one he knew would shake wildly sometimes, or tug painfully at others. The one he would console with gentle strokes late at night when he would wake up to it trembling. The one that would do the same for him, that had always been a comfortable weight throughout his recovery as a kid.

He would never meet the other end. Never know who it was. 

They could have died suddenly or painfully, and here they were, forgotten by their soulmate a month later due to the reassigning. Damian was so ready to forget them, and the guilt of that was weighing on him so hard he wanted to vomit.

He pulled his knees to his chest and tried to steady his breathing, ignoring the light feeling of the dangling frayed string on his hand. 

He closed his eyes and lied to himself about how bad it hurt.

-

“It is a very lovely shade of yellow,” Roman commented from where he was laying on the couch. He was looking up towards the ceiling, his hand containing his string collection in front of his face as he examined the sun colored string as it swung with the others.

“It reminds me of a sunflower when hit by the sun juuusst right,” Patton said, curled up on Roman’s chest. He was also looking at Roman’s hand, messing with his own strings absentmindedly. 

Logan was sitting in the arm chair across the room, having stayed home. They all had decided to take the day off of responsibilities, this was a large occasion, after all. He had a notepad on his lap and was writing down everything he could about the situation. He had a knack for writing information about anything and everything down. He liked to be well documented.

Virgil was curled up on the floor, scrolling through Tumblr in the way he does when he’s thinking, and not reading a single thing. If it looked like art and was colorful, he reblogged it without thinking. He was more focused on the way the new string on his hand looked as he occasionally typed.

They all sat around in domestic silence, preparing for the long talk they were going to have to have soon. 

They all noticed it, despite no one saying it aloud. That feeling of something missing. They grew up with it, but had by now gotten so used to that feeling of wholeness. Now that it was gone, so suddenly? They didn’t know how to feel about it, really. It’s easy to lose something you didn’t get a chance to know or experience, but getting a taste of something amazing to have it disappear was near torture.

“I think it appears to resemble the yellow paint Roman likes to get all of the carpet,” Logan said, lips upturning slightly at Roman’s upfronted sound.

“Nah, it def’ looks like… I don’t know, snakey,” Virgil said.

“Snakey?” Roman asked, laughing slightly, “What about the color looks like a slithering reptile?”

“Uh, snakes equal yellow, duh? Same as seven being green,” Virgil rolled his eyes as if it were obvious.

Patton laughed, “Kiddo, seven is pink.”

“Seven is seven? It cannot be either pink or green, it is a number,” Logan said, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“Just let them be weird, Specs, with their weird color assigning,” Roman laughed, sitting up. Patton yelped as he slid off the couch.

“Listen, I’m just saying its snake yellow,” Virgil said, “But if you wann-”

Virgil was caught off as a particularly hard twinge came from the yellow string. He looked around at the others, and noticed they had felt it too. Up until this point the string was pretty chill, if a little shaky. Logan had suggested earlier it was due to shock.

As crazy as gaining a new string out of the blue was a wild, gaining four strings must have been insane. Virgil pitied the poor person, it probably scared the shit out of them.

Without thinking, he reached forward and ran his index finger over the string a few times, showing that he was here.

“This is so exciting! We have another soulmate to hunt down!” He waved his arms around animatedly. He looked as if the idea had just clicked for him.

There was a whole other person out there waiting for them, someone who would fit into their little dynamic. Someone with likes and dislikes and quirks and feelings, a whole human being.

Virgil felt himself smiling along with the others. Logan had gone back to scribbling on his notepad, even faster this time. Patton was chatting with Roman about the possibilities while rolling the string around in his fingers.

Virgil curled into the warmth of his hoodie, and for once, allowed himself to look forward to the unknown future.

-

By the time Damian had gotten home late that night, he was exhausted. He collapsed onto his bed in a pile of limbs, kicking his shoes off and snuggling into the covers. He didn’t bother with his shirt other than unbuttoning the top couple of buttons, and he had long since ditched his gloves. They were currently somewhere buried in his bag.

He and Remy had loitered around town for a while, talking about anything and everything. Damian had really tried to be in high spirits and give his usual sarcasm, but he just wasn’t feeling it. 

His eyes drifted shut, and the beginnings of a dream had already begun to swirl, sounds and nonsense conversations were supplied to his mind, and he let his mind wander as it drifted into resting mode.

That is, until he felt a tug on his ring finger.

 He opened his eyes a bit, glancing down at his hand, at the indigo string.

Tug.

His eyes opened, he was paying attention now.

Tug tug tug tug. Tug. Tug pull tug tug. Tug pull tug tug. Pull pull pull.

Damian moved to sit up, but found the effort to be too much. He decided, through the hazy-slow process that was thinking when half asleep, that this was a matter of importance, and therefore should happen in the morning. So he fell back asleep without paying it too much mind.

-

Logan sighed heavily as he stood from his chair, giving up on tapping out a message to their new soulmate. During their talk earlier the group had decided that it would be a good idea to try and meet this person as soon as possible, in order to diminish the time they felt incomplete.

It shouldn’t be too difficult. They could all drive, and all felt like the soulmate had to be relatively close. Reassignments normally happened to people who are near each other. The farthest recorded reassigned soulmates were four states away from each other. Almost everyone else was within the same state at least.

Logan had proposed morse code, the same way he and Patton had found each other, and the way they would occasionally send stupidly sappy quotes to one another on occasion. It must have been too late because the person wasn’t answering. He would have to try again sometimes tomorrow.

He heard a soft knock on his office door, and a few hushed whispers from somewhere farther in their shared house.

“Yes?” He called through the door, looking over as it slowly opened. It was only a little past midnight, but he still felt it to be inappropriate to talk any louder.

“Hey Lo? Me and the other two were wondering if you could join us in the kitchen to talk… again,” Patton said softly, leaning against the doorframe.

“The others and I,” Logan corrected, but nodded as he stood up, “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. My sleeping schedule is probably messed up at this point anyway.”

Patton smiled fondly, and turned to lead Logan back to the kitchen. Virgil and Roman were sitting across from each other at the table, bickering about something under their voices.

They both looked up when Logan walked in,

“Okay, so, now that we’re all here,” Patton started, clasping his hands together as he sat down. Logan pulled up a chair, spinning it so it was backwards. He loathed to sit in chairs normally, both he and Virgil seemed to share that small quirk. Roman simply splayed himself out on the nearest surface, and Patton tended to sit criss-cross on the floor more often than a chair.

Logan shook his head to snap himself out of his wandering thoughts, focusing back onto Patton.

“We’ve come to a decision, Logan, and I’m sorry you weren’t here a little earlier, but we didn’t want to bother your work.” Logan nodded, not at all perturbed by being left out of the conversation. In fact, he was happy they left him to his own devices for awhile. It’s not like he was out of the loop, they were having the conversation for a reason.

“And?” He asked, quirking his head to the side.

“-And we’ve come to the conclusion-”

“Patton, please stop sounding so serious, it’s unnerving, that’s Logan’s thing,” Virgil cut in, rolling his eyes fondly.

Patton snickered, but continued, “We think it would be best if you were the one to go find our new soulmate. Like you said earlier, meeting all of us at once might be too much for them, and you’re one the… er… easier of us to handle.”

“Roman would probably serenade them the moment he saw them,” Virgil teased, elbowing said soulmate.

“Excuse you, you’d scare them off with all that,” Roman gestured to Virgil’s outfit, “Edge.”

“I see. So when should I leave? I’ll have to call off work and do extra to catch up in my classes.”

“Sometime tomorrow would be good, Lo. I’m hoping to meet them by the end of the week. I really do think they’re close, if not in town.”

“I agree,” Roman nodded, and Virgil shifted and did so as well.

“Very well. I’ll leave around noon, then. I planned on continuing with the messages until I manage to get an answer, Perhaps they’ll tell me where they are. It shouldn’t be much harder than that.”

“Yeah! That sounds awesome,” Patton smiled, then suddenly squealed and flapped his hands, “Ooh I’m just so excited to meet them, my goodness-”

“I wonder what they will be like, I don’t think I could stand another emo in the group,” Roman joked, and Virgil swatted at them.

“Listen here Princey, you like my emo. Besides, your eyeliner was a hot mess before I showed you how to properly apply it, so you better thank this emo,” Virgil snapped playfully.

Logan watched them with a soft expression, standing up and stretching.

“We should all get some rest, then. Big day tomorrow,” Logan said, walking towards their room. The others nodded and moved to stand.

Big day, indeed.

-

-

Taglist in reblog

[heronwritingx]

chapter 3

im sorry this took so long!!!! also originally this chapter was longer but I ended up splitting it into 2 so its not that great and im sorry about that but also I hope you enjoy it...

Heather tapped her pen and chewed on her bottom lip as she sat beside Alejandro in their regular Biology class, it was the one class he had with her where her usually snappy, mean attitude was non-existent. She was quiet and tended to keep her head down and her attention as far from that disgusting teacher as she could. He’d never seen Heather intimidated or scared, he didn’t know she even could feel that way but for that hour or so she spent in that man’s classroom, her body remained tense.

Alejandro could do nothing but watch, eh couldn’t say anything in class and he didn’t dare to say anything to her outside of class either.

“It’s time to return the previous homework assignments and discuss the answers,”

He felt it too. He saw her eyes. He’d never seen her look so scared. Her body went straight and stiff and for just a moment, she didn’t breathe.

Alejandro watched as every student received a piece of paper, even himself, but her. He thought something like this would happen soon. The man wasn’t going to give up, even if she was taken. Alejandro quietly slipped a copy of her homework from his book and placed it on her desk.

“It seems, Heather,” she had to stop herself from shuddering, “you didn’t hand in your copy.”

“It’s right here.” Alejandro spoke up, her shoulders were trembling, and her voice would’ve cracked if she tried to spoke, “It seems she didn’t forget.”

Her eyes widened and Alejandro didn’t seem smug or like he was trying to one-up her, she genuinely thought he was trying to help her. She didn’t like that she had to rely on him to help her, but she’d take it right now. She could not be left alone with that man and Alejandro wasn’t going to let her be.

“It seems…I must have made a mistake.” The man spoke through gritted teeth and Alejandro smirked in victory.

After that, the lesson continued on as one would think it would. Heather, however, spent the time just trying to calm herself down. For that moment, her heart stopped. Every horrid memory she had flooded back and overwhelmed her. Her breath was staggered and sharp and she did everything she possibly could to maintain composure. HE would not break her.

Not now. Not ever.

She let out a deep sigh of relief and while acting as though she was fine, she’d never moved so fast to get out of that classroom. Hell, she even forced herself to skip the next class. She couldn’t concrete, she wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else. She had to calm herself down properly, she needed to be completely out of that school.

However, she shouldn’t have been surprised that Alejandro followed her and called her name. She didn’t want to see him, let alone thank him for helping her. She was embarrassed he even had too!

“Will you quit following me!?” Heather finally snapped, flinging around.

“Is that how you’re going to act after I helped you?” He retorted, folding his arms.

“I didn’t ask you to help me! I don’t need your help!” She yelled.

“That was our deal,” He said, sighing a little, “You help me with Jose, and I help you with him.”

She flung back around, and he didn’t know what she was thinking and Heather sure as hell wasn’t going to let him see her eyes water. It was humiliating. She was being controlled by such a sick, horrible person. He had control of her every movement in that class and she hated, she DISPISED the fact she had to rely on Alejandro to help her.

“Just…leave me alone.” She muttered.

He sighed and while a tinge in his heart told him to reach out for her, he didn’t. What was he meant to do? Try and comfort her? She’d never let him. She’d swear and carry on until she was able to flee. Heather was also nothing more to him than an associate, his rival at most. They were in this for their own personal gain.

Heather had managed to sneak out of school without any staff members noticing and flopped onto her bed, she was ready for the day to end. She closed her eyes and laid there, her mind wandering. Deep down though, a feeling of dread sat in her gut, unable to be shaken.

Bzzzzt. Bzzzzt. Bzzzzt.

Alejandro groaned but ignored the buzzing sound, despite the fact it had woken him up from his rather peaceful slumber. He rolled over and buried his head in the pillows to drown the noise out, but it persisted and persisted until he gave in.

“Que?” He seethed out, not realising what language he was even speaking because it was literally two am.

“Alejandro! God, finally!” Heather practically shouted into the phone, her voice a little panicked.

“Heather?” he blinked.

Why would she be calling him at this time of night?

“I need you to come over.” She told him, this time whispering her voice, “Right. Now.”

“Heather, it’s two am.” Alejandro retorted in a deadpan tone.

“I don’t care! I think someone is trying to break into my house!” She snapped at him, “Who the hell else am I meant to call!?”

Alejandro’s eyes shot open properly and now that he focused, she did sound panicked and her breathing was much choppier and faster than usual. She sounded scared and he’d never heard her sound like that before, so he had to do what he could to help her.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can then.” He told her, “Just stay where you are, okay.”

“Okay.” Heather complied, she wasn’t going to argue with him in this sort of situation, after all.

He quickly pulled on a shirt and a jacket as the temperature was starting to get colder, then his shoes and quickly headed out the door. He was worried about her; he wouldn’t deny that. She could get hurt, or worse…no, he couldn’t think like that. He just had to help her – Heather wouldn’t have called him if it wasn’t serious to her. She sent her address to him via text and he made his way there, he didn’t even care if he woke any of his family members up when he left. He just needed to know she was okay.

“Heather?” He called her as soon as he parked in her driveway, attempting to deter the potential criminal.

“Jeez, you took long enough!” She snapped at him, “What if they’d gotten in!?”

“I wasn’t going to call you while I was driving.” He retorted.

“Yeah, yeah…” she grumbled, trying to stay calm, “Can you see anyone?”

“Not yet. I’m hanging up now, so they don’t hear me.” He told her, “I’ll call you if I find anything.”

“Promise?”

He was surprised how childlike she sounded, maybe this was just how she was when she was scared? She sounded genuinely vulnerable and Alejandro ignored the skip of his heart that he felt.

“I promise.” He told her, only to hang up the phone a moment later.

Heather sat in her bed, her knees up to her chest as she just…waited. She never thought she’d freeze up like this. In her head, she’d convinced herself just who was wanting to get to her, and it made her sick. Alejandro had put a stop to his moves towards her, but she didn’t know how long that would deter him for. Would Alejandro even be able to fight him off it was him? Sure, he was strong, but this man was a grown adult – Heather just hoped her gut feeling was wrong.

Alejandro grimaced as he walked around the side of her large home – it wasn’t quite as big as his but still big. He stopped however when he heard a whispering voice, a girl’s voice.

“You said your keys would work!”

“They must’ve changed the locks!” a male voice followed the girl.

How would a burglar have a key? He moved as quietly as he could as the distant lights from the street showed him to shadowy figures rattling at the glass door that led from the home to the back patio and garden. The rattling at the door stopped and Alejandro realised they’d probably heard him.

Heather just heard a commotion; she didn’t know what the hell it was. She just hoped Alejandro was okay. When the noise stopped, she found herself out of bed and tiptoeing down to the back door where she heard the noises come from and flicked on the lights – hoping to fight Alejandro victorious over the person trying to rob her.

“Heather!” The male voice shouted, as Heather found Alejandro standing beside the two perpetrators with a rather unimpressed expression.

She just…stopped. She stared at them for a moment. Then she almost screamed.

“Henry!?” She yelled back.

It was her brother. Her stupid, older, meant to be away at a college halfway across the country, brother. She would admit though; she didn’t recognise the young woman beside him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” She spat at him as she opened the door.

“Trying to get inside, obviously.” Henry retorted.

Alejandro just watched them for a moment, if he had to describe her brother, it would be that he looked just what she’d look like as a young man. He was tall and lean, his hair was short, black hair and his eyes matched her. His expressions were even similar. If Alejandro didn’t know better, he’d assume they were twins.

“I mean, what the fuck are you doing here!?” Heather repeated, looking ready to pull her hair out.

“Oh, I dropped out of college. I’m moving back in. Don’t tell mom.” Henry told her.

“What!?” Heather screamed, “Hell no you’re not moving back in here!”

Alejandro could tell this wasn’t going to end well, especially not at that time of night and the fact that Heather was already on edge due to what happened at school. Henry’s girlfriend at his side seemed to think the same as Alejandro, she was trying to quell the situation on her side.

“How about you two discuss this in the morning?” Alejandro suggested, placing his hand upon Heather’s shoulder, “When you’ve both rested.”

“No way, he’s not moving back in here.” Heather grumbled, folding her arms.

“What’s the big deal? It’s not like mom’s going to be back anytime soon.” Henry shot back, glaring at her.

Heather’s eyes widened for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure, she wasn’t going to let him so easily have his way. However, she was tired, and her day was already long enough. She just wanted to sleep.

“Whatever…I’m going to bed.” Heather huffed, stomping off once more.

Alejandro grimaced and followed after her but not before introducing himself to his brother – it would’ve been strange not too. He caught her door before she could slam it shut and ended up in her room.