#it breaks me and it hurts and it's sad but at the same time it's like I get it?
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nastybuckybarnes · 1 day ago
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The Aftermath
Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley X Reader
Summary: How can what's done be undone? Let's watch.
Warnings: Language, PTSD, Angst, Fluff, Injuries, Angst,
Word Count: 2.3K
A/n: I made y'all wait for this one lol. I hope you enjoy. Yes, there will be more so dont you worry. i really wanna try hammering out more of this and tbp cause i may or may not do another 12 days of ficmas or somethin but we'll see!
~*~
When Task Force 141 finally heads into the basement to free you, the scene before them has more than one of them sick to their stomach.
You're curled up in a ball, whispering to yourself in a language they're not familiar with, and when you finally catch a glimpse of them, it's like gas to a flame.
You're pleading, begging in that same language as you slowly back up, shaking your head at them as tears fall down your cheeks.
The words are desperate, spat with haste and fear, and it hurts Ghost's heart to know that the first time he's hearing your mother tongue is when you're trying to escape him.
"Mouse, it's me. You're safe, please. Please, s'just me," he tries, getting on his knees to seem less imposing.
You only scramble back further, holding your hands out in front of you in a pathetic attempt at protecting yourself from danger that doesn't exist.
The blood on your hand catches his attention and he's immediately looking for the source.
"You're hurt. Let me help, please."
You're hiccuping and sobbing, beyond consolation at this point and he's at a loss.
Slowly, he glances over his shoulder to his teammates, the ones who were so quick to follow the traitorous finger that was pointed in your direction.
Soap's eyes are on you, full of sadness and guilt, while Price has his eyes cast down to the floor.
They were just trying to protect their team. Their family.
An idea pops into Simon's head, and he slowly brings his hands to the chain around his neck.
He pulls off the necklace and holds it out in front of you, watching closely as your gaze slowly focuses on the silver pendant.
Your fighting lessens, breathing evens, and then you're reaching out with trembling fingers, gingerly brushing against the warm metal.
A soft word falls from your lips in the same language you were speaking before, and new tears well up in your eyes as you grab the necklace from him and hold it close to your chest.
Slowly, he backs up, motioning for the other men to get out of the way, and then he's swinging the cell door open as wide as it can go and carefully peeling his mask back.
Your wild eyes are focused on his face as he slowly reveals himself to you, and you feel your stomach flip.
"Simon?" You croak, voice scratchy and hoarse.
"S'right, little one. S'me. C'mon out now, you're safe."
You glance over at the other men in the room, your lip wobbling slightly.
"Don't look at them, look at me. Eyes on me, m'right here 'n m'not goin' anywhere."
Reluctantly, your eyes meet his again and he nods encouragingly at you.
Soap can feel his stomach tying in knots with every moment that passes, every word spoken between the two of you.
He never expected this to be the result of his accusations. Of his efforts to be a good soldier.
Slowly, you crawl toward the door, pausing every few seconds as if bracing yourself for an attack.
When you get to the doorway you take a deep breath, holding it as you cross the threshold.
And then a sob bubbles out of your chest and the dam breaks.
You're hiccuping and crying, reaching for Simon desperately, and he all but yanks you into his arms, shushing you quietly.
"I-I didn't do it!" You gasp, bloody hands grabbing handfuls of his sweater.
Simon only nods, rocking you gently in his arms.
"I know, lovie. I know."
"I-I'll be good! J-just don't... don't bring me ba-ack here, please!"
Price's jaw clenches hard, hard enough to almost crack a tooth. His hands are in tight fists by his sides and the lump in his throat is getting harder and harder to swallow.
Simon hadn't exactly been the most forthcoming with your personal information, your history, but in their search for you, they found your sketchbooks. It wasn't hard to piece together your past after that.
"Shh, it's okay. You're safe. You're never going to come back down here, I swear it. Let me take you upstairs."
Your entire frame is trembling in his arms, your bloodshot eyes focused on the men over his shoulder.
Your pupils are wide and your gaze is piercing, sharper than a blade and harder than the walls that seem to be closing in around you.
"Not safe," you whisper, tugging at his sweater then pushing out of his grip and crawling away.
"You're safe, Mouse."
"No, no not safe! Not here! Not with them!" You hiss, glaring at the men behind him.
"I try so hard! But everywhere I go you-you people... you try to hurt me! You lock me in cage! I do nothing wrong!" You're shouting now, voice hoarse and broken, but it makes Soap wince nonetheless.
You look between the men, the soldiers, and push yourself back until you hit the bars of the cell.
"I know your time here hasn't exactly been the easiest, but I swear I won't let anyone else hurt you," Simon tries, holding his hands up in surrender as he scoots closer.
"This... all of this... is because I met you," you finally whisper, the words slicing Simon to his core.
Because you're right.
From the kidnapping to the Corporal in the shower to the accusations. None of it would've happened if you'd never met the man.
"Her thigh" Gaz says softly, eyes focused on the blood darkening the fabric of your pants.
That snaps Ghost out of his feelings and his focus is on you once more. Your safety, your wellbeing.
"Mouse, you're hurt. Let me help you, please."
You glance down at your leg, the still-bleeding wound from yesterday, then cover it with your hand.
"Don't need help."
"You need medical help. Food, water. Please, Mouse." He glances over his shoulder at his teammates. "Leave."
With that one word, the three of them are gone, leaving you alone with your Ghost.
"S'just you n me now, little one. You know I'd never hurt you. Let me help you. Please."
You swallow hard, looking at him for a long silent moment before dropping your gaze back down to your thigh.
"I'll take you upstairs, we can go straight to medical and then-"
"No."
He frowns.
"No?"
"I-I don't want to see... anyone else. Only you."
He nods immediately, inching toward you carefully, as if you're a wild animal that could lash out at any moment.
It's not like he couldn't handle it, couldn't overpower you. But he wouldn't. Even if you did decide to lash out, he'd take it. S'what he deserves, after all. He should've been faster. Should've convinced Price sooner, killed both Jacobs and Matthews in that alley the first night he met you.
But he didn't.
"Can I touch you? I just want to see how bad it is." He motions to your leg.
Slowly, you give him a nod, watching through puffy eyes as he gets close enough to inspect your wound.
His hands are gentle when he touches you, tilting your leg to the side then looking back up at you.
"Let me take you out of here. Please."
"Where?"
"With me. Our quarters."
Ours. Not his. Ours.
Yours.
That's where you belong.
Up in your quarters with your Ghost and far far away from here.
Far from the holding cells that remind you too much of the cages you used to call home.
Far from people who would hurt you, lie to you, betray you.
Ghost's words from what feels like only days ago ring out in your ears, taunting you, humiliating you.
Johnny's not gonna let anything happen to you.
The man's own words when he'd cleaned that Corporal off of the bathroom floor.
You've saved my arse.....I owe you.
This is how they repay people?
Simon, upon seeing the distant starry look in your eyes, smooths his bare fingers over your wrist, tugging you gently toward him.
You follow wordlessly, lost in thought, in your mind, and he seems to recognize this.
"M'gonna bring you upstairs. Straight to our quarters, yeah? Nobody's gonna be around, I'll be quick."
He takes your silence as understanding and tugs his balaclava back on, then pulls you up into his arms and heads out of the basement and up the stairs.
A shiver rolls down his spine when he emerges in the hallway.
All of this bears an eery closeness to when he first brought you to base.
Your limp body in his arms, the looks from the poor few stragglers around base, the determination in his eyes and the pit in his stomach.
He hates it.
He hates that his team, the men he's supposed to be closest with, are the ones who've brought him back here.
The ones who've pushed you to this.
But he's not absolved of wrongdoing in this.
No, he's the one who closed the cell door behind you. He's the one who locked you in your deepest traumas.
He turned the key and tucked it in his pocket.
He's just as much to blame as they are.
His self-loathing comes to a momentary pause when he finally pushes open the door to your shared quarters.
He sets you down on the desk, much like he did the day he came back to find Corporal Jacobs dead on the bathroom floor, and grabs his first aid kit.
Expert fingers slip the blade of a knife into the tear in your pants, and then he's cutting the fabric away from your leg and spraying the wound with antiseptic.
His eyes dart up to your face, searching for any sign of pain or discomfort as he begins bandaging your wound.
He finds none.
Your eyes are still distant, as if you're not really here with him, and he feels his heart drop into his stomach.
"Mouse?"
Nothing.
Swallowing hard, he reaches for your face, smoothing his fingers over your cheek and jaw. To anyone looking, he's composed, but you feel his fingers tremble the tiniest bit as they meet your skin.
Your eyes flutter to his, pupils dilating slightly as you focus on him.
"You with me?"
You blink a few times then slowly nod, eyes staying focused on his.
"Yes... here... with Ghost."
His eyes get sad for a moment before he nods, tugging off his balaclava and dropping it onto the ground.
"Simon. You're here with Simon."
You let out a quivering sigh and nod, reaching forward to touch his face.
Red stains his pale cheek and you look to the source, brows pulling together when you see the blood on your fingers.
"What...?" You inspect your hands, the blood covering them, then drop your gaze to the half-covered wound on your thigh.
"Oh."
"Looks worse than it is. Just gotta stay off it a bit," he says softly, getting back to work until your wound is wrapped.
You say nothing, your gaze shooting back to your hands. Specifically, the necklace in your left hand.
"Want me to help put that back on?" He asks after a moment, watching the way tears fill your eyes as you nod.
He takes the necklace from you and carefully reaches around your neck, leaning in close to watch himself clasp it.
You're engulfed in his scent as he invades your personal space, and you can't stop your hands from darting out and grabbing onto his sweater to hold him there, to pull him close.
When the necklace is secure, he pulls back just enough to fix his footing, and then he's yanking you to the edge of the desk and wrapping you in his strong arms.
He hunches over the desk, dropping his head to yours and pressing kiss after kiss to the top of your head.
You wrap yourself around him, in him, as much as you can, pressing your face to his chest and burrowing into him deep enough to taste his soul.
He pulls you closer still, eyes squeezed shut tightly as he lets himself feel you. Really feel you.
Feel you in your pain, in your trauma, your helplessness. Feel you in your trust, your fear, your love. For him.
He feels you as much as he feels himself now, and all he wants is to take your pain away. Strip you of it even if it kills him.
But he can't.
So instead, he holds you close until you begin to tug away. And then he's taking your hands in his once more.
"I'll run you a shower, yeah?"
You nod wordlessly, eyes cast down as silent tears trek down your cheeks.
He moves swiftly, turning the water on and testing the temperature.
When it's finally warm enough, he returns to you, reaching for you only to freeze when you flinch back.
Refusing to meet his gaze, you slide off of the desk and step around him, cringing away when dusts his fingers over your arm.
The rejection stings, but he knows he has no right to feel hurt.
"I'll stay right here 'till you're done."
You say nothing, only close the bathroom door and turn the lock.
Simon ends up staying there for hours, long enough to realize that you're not coming out of there anytime soon.
With the lights off, he leans his head against the door separating you.
"I'll be right out here, if you wanna come out. Make sure I save a spot on the bed for ya, yeah?"
You say nothing.
He can hear the steady sound of your breath so he knows that -physically, at least- you're okay.
Sighing softly, he slides his hand down the door then turns away and takes a seat on the bed.
He sits there for a few minutes, hoping he'll hear the lock click, that you'll come to bed and the two of you will be able to put everything behind you.
But he's never been a big dreamer.
Instead, he settles down in bed, his eyes locked on the bathroom door, the faint light shining through the cracks.
Simon goes to bed that night with a full bladder and an empty bed.
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pepperyduck · 5 hours ago
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porcelain. toji f.
a/n: nsfw, angst?????? idk what this is really, just me yapping, very unhealthy boyfriend behaviors from toji, toji pushes ur buttons & makes you snap, DACRYPHILIA!!!!!, p in v. 18+ mdni.
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toji's always treated you as what he calls you; a doll.
no, he's never been the type to treat anyone delicately, but then there was you.
to him, you were but a fragile flower, asking to be crushed. toji's hurt a lot of people in his life. he would never hurt you. he never reciprocates the kindness of others, usually, but he couldn't help but treat you with the same love and respect you showed him.
he knows the real you.
toji knows that even among the most precious, delicate dolls, their porcelain skin will begin to crack if you play with them too much. he understands that under your angel-like persona, there's something much darker.
he sees the abyss of emotions inside of you, when you begin to crack.
he's too rough with you on purpose. because he wants that monster inside of you to come out. to be shown to him, what you really are. and it's all for his own pleasure. just for him to break you.
he wants you to snap at him so he can treat you accordingly. and he's so happy when your tired of your buttons being pushed, in his own twisted way.
"fuck off, toji!" with a hard push to his chest was all it took to make him happy. it gave him an excuse to not treat you like a doll anymore, toss you around a little bit. make you cry.
as crazy and sick as he was, you enjoyed it even more.
not even thirty minutes after your action of defiance, he had you laid out under him, eyes glossy with tears while he slowly stuffed you with his cock. toji's lips twitched in a sadistic grin as you allowed the tears to flow, all while staring dangerously into his eyes.
"y'er gonna break my heart, doll," toji groans. "cryin' like a baby all 'cus you feel bad, aww." he's cooing and it's doing nothing but pissing you off; but the drag of his length against the soft walls of your cunt melt the anger away.
"shut up, toji," you grumble, blinking your eyes to clear them so you can get a good look of the condescending man above you.
yet as he hears your snappy words, toji rams his hips into you one good time, bouncing your soft body against the sheets of his bed. you're sure that singular stroke bruised your cervix. the sudden jolt of pleasure that courses through your body brings you to reality quickly.
please.
toji's change in demeanor towards you is slow at first. he's always been so careful. so gentle. all to not hurt you. right now, though, he needs it.
please, baby.
another particularly harsh thrust makes your eyes widen and you panic. you look into toji's eyes, but it's almost as if he isn't even there. his eyes are low, dark and filled with hunger. and anger and sadness, and pain. that same mess of emotions hidden under your sensitive shell is staring you right in the eyes. empty, like a doll.
"toji?" you squeak, earning another stab of toji's cock into your gushing cunt, "toji!"
"i'm 'ere, doll," toji says, though it seems a bit untrue, and his pace quickens too fast, right before your eyes. he's losing himself in his mind and in the feeling of how tightly you squeeze around him when you panic.
break for me. please.
he's begging.
toji can feel how badly you want it, how much you want him to lose control over you. his porcelain doll.
he knows that underneath your glass skin, you're just like him.
he knows it.
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kastighur · 17 hours ago
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← back. ᝰ.ᐟ i’ll wait for you.
𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 homicipher. mr. crawling. angst ( i tried ). gn! reader // wc : 681
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standing in front of the elevator doors, the human turned towards the crawling entity. staring at him with a solemn gaze as they knew what was bound to happen. though it didn’t look like he did.
“ thank you. “
you told him with a smile, one that was trying to hide the ever growing pain that spread throughout your chest.
“ …you go ? “
he asked and you confirmed it.
“ go together ! “
mr. crawling eagerly replied, moving slightly closer in preparation to enter the elevator with you.
it wasn’t that you didn’t want him to follow you, in fact, his presence would brighten up your lonely lifestyle in that dull apartment. but there were factors that needed to be considered.
firstly, how were you supposed to provide for both of you ? your space was barely enough for one, and if a 8ft ghost was added it was surely going to cramp up the area.
secondly, could he even survive in your world ? what would happen if other humans saw him ? if someone called the cops they would definitely find out about the late night activities you’ve been committing. plus if someone saw that he had skin for eyes….
of course, there were other problems at play but it would take too long to list them all.
with a heavy sigh, you kneeled down.
“ me go, one. “
his smile slowly disappeared.
“ one…? “
his typical bubbly booming tone in his voice now soft and flat.
“ me sad. “
to say your heart hurt was an understatement. it was the kind of pain that made you understand what a heartbreak truly felt like.
“ me wait for you ! “
he offered, beaming once again. he understood that you had a life before landing here. since the beginning he had been helping you find this very exit, and you made it ! he was happy for you but he didn’t understand that you would be gone forever. in his mind you would go through those doors and appear at that same spot where he found you.
“ you go ! me wait ! “
it’s been a while since you’ve felt that sting in your eyes.
“ oh mr. crawling.. “
you whispered in your own language, he tilted his head in confusion but he knew that you’d called him. having heard those two words a few times.
“ hurt ? pain ? “
he quickly asked, reaching out to check your head for injuries and doing a quick scan over your body.
you had to leave before your heart told you to stay. so you stood up and forced a smile.
“ thank you, goodbye. “
mr. crawling stared, then smiled, holding a hand up in an attempt to wave.
“ goodbye. “
the elevator doors opened, you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding in. you caught one last glimpse of mr. crawling before the doors whirred and finally closed.
mr. crawling waited and waited. he would just sit there and stare at those elevator doors which he last saw you. every few hours he would make his way back to where he found you first.
out of desperation he would search around. inside boxes, behind walls and such. maybe you were hiding just like last time.
every whir and creak that emitted would cause him to snap his head up filling him with hope. mr. silvair saw him smiling at the lift once and asked why, mr. crawling replied that you were finally coming back... but hours and hours passed and nothing happened.
usually, he would find a cramped area that he could squeeze into for comfort when he’s upset ( like a little meow meow ). now, he couldn’t bring himself to leave his spot. afraid that if he left and you returned, you would leave again, upset because he broke his promise of waiting for you.
mr. hood stumbled upon the scene once, seeing an ever growing collection of crowbars, wedding dresses, raincoats and…ears..? scattered across the ground.
a long time would pass before mr. crawling would finally break. his whines and whimpers echoing the quiet halls, at one point even trying to pry open the elevator doors.
“ miss you… come back… please. “
> wanted to try angst, but i lowk hate this one. maybe pt.2 where you come back ? idk.
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© @kastighur
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thursdayinspace · 17 hours ago
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ficlet (breaking up just doesn't work for them)
or: thing that can stand on its own but might also maybe possibly be a WIP now, who the fuck even knows anymore, my WIP folder has given up on me at this point. Rating: Explicit
tagging @today-in-fic
---
They shouldn’t. They said they wouldn’t do this anymore. And she knows it’s the right decision—they can’t risk it interfering with their work, with their partnership. What they have together is too important. That hadn’t stopped her from spending the weekend on the couch crying after they’d decided to end it. And he’d been quiet on Monday morning, looking like he hadn’t slept in days, and the pain in his eyes every time he’d looked at her told her he was as heartbroken as she was.
It’s been weeks now. And she misses him like a severed limb even though they’re together all the time. But he doesn’t put his hand on her back anymore. He looks quickly away every time their eyes meet. She understands. He’s hurting the same way she is. She’s starting to wonder if they made the right decision. Some days it feels like she’s losing him, and she has to excuse herself and step outside for a moment, sit down somewhere out of view because her head is spinning as she tries to stop herself from hyperventilating. She knows it wouldn’t take more than a single look, a single touch to have him in her arms again, but she can’t, she can’t. They said they wouldn’t.
Five weeks. That’s how long they last before he knocks on her door on a Wednesday night after a long day at the office where they barely exchanged a word. He looks awful, like he’s been crying, and her heart hurts in her chest.
“Send me away,” he says, his voice breaking on the last syllable. “Please send me away.”
She doesn’t answer, keeps one hand on the door. She should close it. She should step back and let him in. She shouldn’t look into his beautiful sad eyes that cut into her soul and destroy her utterly until she feels tears prickling behind her eyes. She stands frozen in speechless indecision as the seconds tick past and give him her answer, and his palms framing her face make her paper-thin walls crumble. His first kiss is tentative but she can feel him trembling as she puts her hands on his chest, she can feel the pounding of his heart, and she wraps her arms around him and jumps as he lifts, her legs coming around his hips. She kicks the door closed once he steps over the threshold. Neither of them speaks as he carries her to the bedroom.
Touching his naked skin as he stretches out next to her isn’t the comfort she expected; it makes her desperate for him until she feels like she’s shaking apart with the love that’s pushing at the confines of her being. Finally he meets her eyes, the hunger in them stealing the breath from her lungs. All she can do as he kisses his way down her body is to close her eyes and put her hands in his hair. She can’t move, all her muscles are gone. She’s his now to do with as he pleases.
His mouth on her makes her moan and arch her back off the mattress. There are no words, not after these past few weeks, not for the magnitude of this love that only managed to grow during their separation. But she understands what he’s telling her. There are no words, but his mouth is saying everything she longed to hear for so long. His lips closing around her clit, his tongue pushing into her, the sounds he makes as he presses in closer, buries his face deeper against her and eats her out like he’s been starving. There’s relief and ecstasy in his voice as he gives himself to her, gives her what she needs.
Her orgasm washes through her in wave after wave of release so intense it makes her tears finally spill over; she’s coming for the first time in five weeks. She hadn’t even been able to touch herself with the loss of him numbing every part of her body and soul. He waits until she’s done before he crawls back up the bed, waits for her nod before he lowers himself between her legs and pushes into her, stretching her, filling her so completely. She’s always loved his size, but she welcomes it more than ever now. He’s everywhere.
His thrusts are slow and hard, his hands hooked around her shoulders to keep her in place, and she’s pinned to the mattress beneath him. He’s taking her, claiming her, and she digs her nails into his back, knowing he likes when she marks him, she’s seen him twisting around in front of a mirror admiring the scratch marks on his skin. He fucks her like he owns her, and he does, he does. The same way he’s given her ownership of his heart a long, long time ago.
She knows he needs to come, she can hear it in his breath, can feel it in the controlled, forceful roll of his hips, but he makes her come again first, and this time it happens slowly, the pressure building and building until she falls over the edge with a final push. She can’t breathe, can’t make a sound, her whole body is alive with pleasure that won’t end as he keeps going relentlessly even when his movements become frantic, erratic. He waits, he holds on until she’s spent, her body unclenching, sinking down against the rumpled sheets.
She holds him as he lets go, as he buries himself deep inside her and cries out, and she’s missed this more than she can fully understand. He’s shaking in her arms after he’s done and she wonders if it feels like this for everyone, like the universe isn’t big enough for everything she feels.
They don’t say the words. They don’t have to. They both already know.
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daisymbin · 3 days ago
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vernon angst 46 please! any ending is fine 🫶
will do!!! thank you for requesting 🤍
request your own: full prompt list!
check out my masterlist! // hansol's m.list
angst prompt #46: "we can't keep doing this."
it’s late, too late, but you’re here again. the soft knock on the door was all it took for hansol to let you in, like he always does. his heart is a traitor; it betrays him every time, even when his mind knows better.
you’re standing in his living room now, avoiding his gaze, and he doesn’t know if he’s relieved or angry about it. the air is heavy, thick with unspoken words, the kind that choke him when he tries to sleep.
“you didn’t have to come,” he says, voice quiet but strained, hands shoved deep into his hoodie pockets. he doesn’t mean it, not really, but it’s the kind of thing he thinks he should say.
“i wanted to,” you reply, just as softly, but you’re looking at your hands, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your jacket. you’re always like this—distant but close enough to ruin him.
he takes a deep breath, the weight of everything between you pressing on his chest. “we can’t keep doing this,” he says suddenly, the words tumbling out before he can stop them. his voice cracks, just slightly, and it feels like he’s tearing himself apart.
your head snaps up, eyes wide, like you didn’t see this coming. maybe you didn’t, or maybe you just didn’t want to. “what are you talking about?”
he laughs, bitter and short, like the kind of laugh you give when there’s nothing left to say but too much to feel. “you know what i’m talking about. this. us. whatever this is.”
you flinch, and it hurts him more than it should. but he presses on, because if he doesn’t say it now, he never will. “you show up when it’s convenient, when you’re sad, when you’re lonely, but then what? you leave. every time.” his voice rises, not loud but enough to echo in the silence.
“it’s not like that,” you protest, but it’s weak, and you both know it.
“then what is it?” he snaps, the frustration finally boiling over. “what are we? because i can’t keep pretending this doesn’t hurt.”
your lips part, like you’re about to say something, but nothing comes out. your silence is louder than any excuse, any half-hearted apology you could give.
“do you even care?” he asks, quieter now, the fight draining out of him. “or am i just... someone you run to because it’s easy?”
“hansol, that’s not fair,” you whisper, but your voice wavers, and it’s all the answer he needs.
he shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “no, what’s not fair is the way you look at me like i mean something, only to disappear the second i think i can believe it.”
you take a step closer, and he backs away instinctively, the space between you feeling both too much and not enough. “i didn’t mean to—”
“but you did,” he cuts you off, voice sharper than he wants it to be. “you always do.”
the tears in your eyes are the final blow, because he knows he’s hurting you, and he hates it. but he also hates the way you’ve been hurting him, over and over, with every fleeting moment you give him only to take it all away.
“maybe you don’t know what you’re doing,” he says, softer now, almost like he’s talking to himself. “but i do. i know what it feels like to hope, to think maybe this time it’ll be different, only to be wrong again.”
you’re crying now, silent tears streaming down your face, and he looks away because if he doesn’t, he’ll break.
“i can’t do this anymore,” he whispers, his voice trembling. “i can’t keep letting you in, knowing you’ll leave. it’s killing me.”
“hansol, please,” you choke out, but there’s nothing left to say.
he looks at you one last time, taking in the way you’re falling apart in front of him. it’s ironic, he thinks, how the person breaking him is the same one he wants to hold together.
“go,” he says, barely audible, but the weight in his voice makes it feel final. “just... go.”
you hesitate, like you want to fight, but then you turn and walk toward the door. the soft click of it closing behind you feels like the end of everything, and maybe it is.
hansol sinks onto the couch, head in his hands, as the silence wraps around him like a suffocating blanket. he knows he did the right thing, but it doesn’t feel like it.
it feels like losing, like ripping out a piece of himself and leaving it in your hands, knowing you’ll never give it back.
and as the minutes stretch into hours, he sits there, drowning in the quiet, wondering if you’ll ever come back—and knowing, deep down, that he hopes you don’t.
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scramblescrew · 19 hours ago
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Hey can I request uh....ancients with a y/n who finally gives up but ends up depressed? Like they usually lay there and do nothing and be basically a sad doll that needs lots of comfort?
((Sure thing, Anon! Here ya go! Sorry it took me so long! Writer’s block has been killing me
(TRIGGER WARNING FOR THEMES OF DEPRESSIVE TOPICS! IF IT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU, PLEASE MOVE ON PAST)
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Dark Cacao Cookie would start having a bit of an easier time realizing what you’re feeling. He had felt the same depressed, empty feeling when his son, Dark Choco Cookie, forced his hand and he was cast out of the kingdom.
But when he found out you were just laying in bed, usually motionless, he was concerned. He understood that you weren’t in an ideal mental state but you still needed to care for yourself.
Instead of having one of the citadel staff bringing you your rations, Dark Cacao did instead. When he unlocked the door to your chambers and entered. His heart ached even more watching you lay motionless on your bed, your chest slowly rising and falling with each breath.
“Y/N…”
DCC walked over with the food, set it down on the bedside table and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Please understand why I had to keep you here in the citadel…the world outside of these walls would corrupt you…take what it would from you then leave you for dead. I couldn’t have that for you…I can’t lose you…!”
After a few minutes of silence, DCC sighed and laid down beside you, pulling you in close, and wrapped his arms around Y/N.
“Please know that I love you…even if in your eyes it doesn’t seem so…”
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Scared. Pure Vanilla Cookie is scared when he finds to mindlessly and silently pacing the grounds of his kingdom for who knows how many hours and even more fearful when he catches up to you and you stare blankly and wordlessly at him.
His heart breaks at this as he pulls you close and hugs you.
“Let’s get you back to bed, you must be exhausted…wondering for so long isn’t good for you…”
PV helped you to your shared bedroom and let you have privacy to get changed into more comfortable clothing before helping you into bed and healing any injuries you may have gotten from your wonder.
After everything was settled down and you were physically well again, PV got into bed with you, pull you close, and started kissing your forehead and gently rubbing your back as you lay there.
“Please don’t scare me like that…I never want to see you hurt…”
_____________________________________
Hollyberry was excited when you had taken your stay in her castle, your new home, better than she had anticipated, you occupied her to events without complaint (maybe a bit of reluctance and though not very much), you started to give her small bits of affection like holding her hand and reciprocating her hugs even if you were still very reserved, but somethings were still worrying…
What she worried about was went you started having sudden outbursts of rage and berating her for getting to close. It was like flipping a switch in your brain at random and it was…SCARING your captor.
After leaving you be for a while and do research on what she could do to help you and came up with a solution.
That night she sat you down and gently hugged you, explaining that she understands that you’re going through a rough time and that she wanted to help you. She was going to set up meetings with a therapist and will let you roam the kingdom with less strict supervision. All she wanted was you to get better and to love her.
“All I want in return is your love…please give me your love, my dear…”
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White Lily Cookie understood… being forced to stay in a barely familiar place with someone who claims to be your lover but is actually your captor can take a toll on a cookie. So it was understandable that you would fall into a depression. One where you couldn’t sleep(understandable as White Lily Cookie made you sleep in the same bed as her), you refused food or drink much to her worry, and your memory was getting worse by the day due to the aforementioned symptoms and more.
It all came to a head one day when you…just stopped moving at all, you didn’t get outta bed, you stopped what little resistance you gave to White Lily Cookie’s attempts to give you affection. You accepted all the hugs, kisses and the cheek and forehead, accepted her cuddling you at night, everything. You just stopped responding.
After a thorough examination from a doctor that was called in (No, Pure Vanilla Cookie was not asked for help. He had his own darling to deal with), it was found out that your depression had gotten worse, to the point of you had fallen into a Catatonic state.
After this revelation, White Lily would try every day to get you to get up or even just open your eyes and look at her. But White Lily soon conceded and focused on being there for you, gently holding you close and letting you be her sad little doll…
“My sweetest doll…it’ll all be ok. Please just open your eyes..for me..?”
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Golden Cheese Cookie held you in her arms with her wings wrapped around your body. With what has happened to her in the past, Golden Cheese Cookie understands what it’s like to feel so empty and hopeless.
But you staying in your bed all day….something in her….BEGS…for you to get up again…
The next thing you know, you are subjected to bi-daily tests and a sarcophagus is built to hold you and keep you inside of it. It was built so only Golden Cheese Cookie could get you out if she ever wanted to.
And that was the hardest part, the easiest part was locking you inside. You didn’t really fight back like you used to, like you did when she first brought you to her kingdom. But that just meant you would be hers sooner…
Once you were in GCC’s digital kingdom, you felt the urge to get up, to walk around, to be free, much to Golden Cheese cookie’s satisfaction and joy. She once again hugged and held you close with her wings wrapped around you.
“It’ll be ok now…I’ve got you…and you’ll never want for anything, my gem…”
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Im here this is here, it’s raw, it took forever- I need a nap (I pulled an all nighter for this request so I could get it out for you all😊) *Dies*
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1ris5starlight · 12 hours ago
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Uh??👀⭐
(Start) Hi Earth! How are you?
(0:22) Hi Monty!
(1:12) Aww!!❤
(1:57) Oh Earth... I know that must feel horrible...
(2:39) nono, he cares Earth..!
(3:38) Sometimes it might feel like that, I know what you mean..
(4:45) uh?
(6:00) Awww!!!❤
(6:25) Hi sleepy Solar!🤭
(10:28) Hi Sun!
(13:50-16:54) I'm crying.... their bond is so strong and they are such good siblings to each other!❤❤❤❤💞💞💞
(17:49) 😭😭😭😭❤💞❤💞💞💞
(18:42) So you noticed!!
(20:14) Oh...you forgave Moon..? That's really brave of you Sun..!!!
(20:28) NO buts, you ARE a strong, kind and brave person Sun!❤
1. And with this, Sun and Earth wins the best siblings to each other of all times!!!
2. This was that ONE pinky promise that you cannot break for nothing in the world.
3. When Earth talked to Sun she sounded so.... sad and distressed, almost desperate to make Sun understand that she WILL NEVER hurt him in any way possible, because he is the only one who hasn't hurt her on purpose or not.
Sun is the first sibling she ever had, the first who always stayed at her side, the one who was always here, the one who helped and bonded with her in one of the most unique ways and the same goes the other way around with Earth to Sun.
They NEVER leaved each other sides and with this promise they NEVER will.
They love and care about each other very much and this kinda of bond is almost impossible to break!
So believe me when I say this, they, this two siblings, brother and sister, no matter what, they'll love each other ALWAYS!
(Me after saying this: PLS TELL ME I DIDN'T JINX, PLS TELL ME I DIDN'T JINX, PLS TELL ME I DIDN'T JINX, PLS TELL ME I DIDN'T JINX, PLS LET AT LEAST THIS PROMISE BE KEEPED).
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einaudis · 10 months ago
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LA SOCIEDAD DE LA NIEVE | SOCIETY OF THE SNOW (2023) dir. J. A. BAYONA
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opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months ago
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ra-vio · 7 months ago
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semester is almost over. im dying
#my oc#rune#mori#i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing#even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED#i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately#trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day#and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt.#and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom#a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere#and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man#i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH#but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week#this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail#and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont#i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i#how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project#my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that#so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work#because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it#but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO#anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again
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resonabilis-echo · 4 months ago
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#also. also. shes like “i hope i was a better friend once you reframed it as 'im upset because youve been a really shitty person towards mw#for months - before that i thought it was because you were sad i probably didnt have feelings for you#(in which case of course my actions would have been totally justified). anyway after that i became a totally good and reliable friend“#when what she did since i framed it that way was (1) ghost me for 3 months (2) met up and immediately said she needed space (after one#conversation since the summer) (3) broke up with me under the most inconvenient conditions when im totally isolated from all of my friends#and during a long drive where im forced to be around her for hours to a camp where she is my only means of leaving#good friend behavior????#she always seems so thoughtful and phrases everything in a way that makes sense in the moment. but sometimes i wonder if she ever thinks#about other people at all#it feels like she wants all of these experiences and connections but only while theyre convenient and exciting and new. and what i thought#was a meaningful connection was maybe like a collectable trinket? or i dont know maybe. a fun experiment so she could learn more about#herself. framing every time she hurt me as a lesson she was learning about Relationships#ughhhhh I'm not a fucking educational tool#“i want to do all the same things exactly but not call it a relationship. and i have a crush on you but i dont like you enough. and i dont#want to ever date anyone and i dont want to be in relationships but of course im not going to break up with my boyfriend“#im so fucking done
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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sugared-violets · 2 years ago
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who needs surgeons when you can just reread the book that defined your adolescence and get your heart ripped out for free
#i didn't get through a whole chapter before i started crying#this is about the dusk gate chronicles which nobody on the face of the planet has ever heard of lol#it's just. these books meant EVERYTHING to me#i've never connected so deeply with any other protagonist. like there are others i LIKE more but this is different#quinn (the protag) just feels... idk like the same as me. almost every decision she makes is the one i would make and our flaws are the same#the love interest reminded me so much of the real boy i was in love with too and that kills me now#the core philosophy of the book literally held our stupid dysfunctional relationship together a couple times#but even now that i'm out and regret ever knowing him the philosophy still means so much to me just in a different way#the rose garden i was trying so hard to cultivate and grow and protect turned out to be nothing but thorns#and the dandelions i used to root out are the happiness i needed all along. yes they're easier but it's easy now because it's right and good#and now it hurts bc these books brought me so much joy but now its stained with associations to someone who hurt me carelessly#in a character that made me want to fall in love#for fucks sake he has the same NAME even. Will this and Will that i can't take it!!!#god. maybe i could find a way to read kindle books in my browser so i can use a deadname replacer on him lol#rename him something that won't break my heart every damn time i read it#anyway. sorry for this i am very sad#dani.txt
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kavehater · 3 months ago
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Oh . . . This girls friend wants to see her win but fatema just seems to always get upset or faults me by pitying herself when I do win (sometimes win is in quotations cause it’s a win in her eyes but it’s torture for me) and when I lose which is always she’s happy about it I think deep down but masks it as comfort and stuff :/
#:/#dora daily#and sometimes when people tell me these types of nice things her friend said to her my heart can’t help but break a little because there’s#always something faulty with the way it is said unlike how this girl said it#for instance with dahlia she said something nice to me a bit more idk vulnerable yesterday and it was sweet but it hurt because she said#basically : I know I don’t say this a lot but I value you a lot and you’re one of my best friends even though we don’t talk a lot#but that made me sad because of the last part because that’s just so :( but why don’t we talk a lot#why not#I always am available unless the off chance I’m not and I’m panicking and even when I do so I’ve only had that happen once with her#which was like last month or so#I was like that with everyone mind you#and yeah#every other time I always speak to her even tho I’m not speaking to many others#but the way she said this also implied that maybe she speaks to others and just not me#and the way she was explaining a situation w her friend implied that them not speaking for a couple of days is unusual and stress inducing#but :(#but that means maybe I over estimated my importance#yet again#why does this always happen to me#I’m genuinely nobodies bestest best friend#wth am I doing wrong#you know what I am not really that sad#but I kind of am#but I just accepted it mostly#everyone says oh you’re just looking at the bad and ppl actually do like you#well they don’t like me how I want to be liked so what’s the point ?!#they might as well not like me at all#if I don’t get to be liked how I wish to be liked in the way I want to be liked then there is no point#to me that is just not my ideal friend and sure we will talk but#but they will never again be in my eyes uplifted to that same status in my eyes
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heyitslapis · 5 months ago
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its times like this when i really wish i had an SO's shoulder to cry on
Because I think i factrued/sprained my foot the other day it happened wednesday but its still pretty swollen and pops when i try to walk on it without hobbling. i know i signed up for health insurance through work. i wrote down the insurance company name as Bayside and I have my personal insurance id number but the card never came in/got lost in the mail (and i already called for one replacement that never came so idk if theyll send me a third) so i cant confirm the insurance name nor call them, but i need to because ive called/visited 5 health care facilities around me and NONE of them have even heard of Bayside. So im calling the phone number that my manager provided me with telling me that was the insurance company. I keep calling the number (and mind you ive called them before to try to get a second insurance card sent to me but that was in like April) and i get that its saturday but theres no answer and the stupid automated machine wont let me leave a voicemail. the automated answering voice on the phone also says that theyre called National Benefit Plans by SafetyNet and google says the phone number im using belongs to National Benefit Plans out in San Antonio Tx (i live no where near there). I found National Benefit Plans' website on SafetyNetPlus dot com but National Benefit Plans doesnt have their own website, just through SafetyNet, and also the SafetyNet website says on a side panel that "this is NOT insurance" and instead keeps saying "health benefits" instead so idk what the fuck ive been paying for for the last 6 months tbh and im having an emotional breakdown bc i dont want to fuck my foot up for life just cause i couldnt figure out my health insurance/benefits shit
#ive been fucking sobbing on the phone for 20 minutes calling the phone number over and over again#im about to mcfucking lose it and im sad and confused and scared because my foot is still so swollen even though it doesnt hurt very much#and google says if swelling on an injury like this persists after 48 hours to go get it looked at#all the walkin clinics near me dont have any xray techs til monday & quoted me anywhere from $130-$300 if i dont have insurance which i can#provide proof of nor am i even sure i actually have at this point and im ngl my guys i only have like $180 to my name until next friday#but then basically my entire next paycheck is going to Geico#and overall im just having a really really really bad time rn and im scared that if my foot is actually fractured im gonna fuck it up worse#by walking around on it without a boot/cast. yeah ive been sitting at work the last few days#but its front desk at a hotel so at least for the first hour of my shift and last 1.5 hours i HAVE to be standing#my foot was so swollen after work today it hurt to get my shoe off#im just really fucking stressed and anxious and confused and im sitting here sobbing my eyes out realizing theres literally no one i can#call just to vent and cry it out with#cant call my mom cause i busted my foot leaving her place after her husband got in my face & screamed at me for saying you cant hit people#cant call my siblings cause none of them can help/we dont talk often enough that i feel like i can burden them with this#i have a few casual friends but same sitch im not close enough with them that i feel comfortable venting while sobbing to them#i could call my ex but shes got a new boo now/its not her problem/we rarely talk anymore/she cant help so no point in calling#only other person who knows/is worried about me is my ex's mom but she wont be home from work for break til 2pm & its 11:30am rn#not close enough to any of my coworkers either#its times like this that i realize how truly alone i am these days with no one that can physically comfort me#which of course is only making me more upset#thats what i get for being depressed and reclusive the last 2 years and only letting people get an arms length reach from me emotionally#there is a medical clinic i can go to that is a 50 minute drive from me and without insurance you just pay a $20 sliding fee plus a little#extra for the care services but again theyre not open until monday and also its a 50 minute drive from me#so all im learning is i shouldve gone some place thursday morning after it happened and im fucked at least til monday#FUCK my STUPID BAKA life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#whatever. guess imma keep icing it try to keep it elevated and just endure it and hope it doesnt get worse#emma rambles#vent tag#DONT REBLOG
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angelkeitai · 5 months ago
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don't get me wrong, i do love her, but it breaks my heart seeing that most of the posts in the flotus tag are about jackie kennedy....you're acting like the other girls dont exist and you are breaking my heart in two
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