#it all boils down to 1) i have no faith in men and 2) i have faith in MYSELF that i will be better off.. not doing all that business | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

afatlotofchance · 1 year ago

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Commission-story 4: Vali's Vampire (part 1)

This commission was done for the same person that asked the two first stories I shared on this blog, and... it is halway between story 1 (the cute love story of two big guys) and story 2 (a harsh kinky medieval soft-torture story). As we are entering the spooky season of autumn, I invite you to read this vampire story, this vampire romance. With all it implies. A vampire romance must only be a tragic, painful, beautiful by morbid romance. A vampire story will always be something disturbing and creepy - though sad and sexy.

Romania, 1894

The people of the village felt sorry for Vali.

“Poor lad. Doesn’t deserve all that.”

Even though, it was hard to tell if they felt sorry for Vali because of the storms, or because of his wife.

The storms destroyed Vali’s crops. Stefania blamed Vali for it.

The storms made a hole in Vali’s roof. Stefania blamed Vali for it.

A bolt of lightning had burned down the old tree of Vali’s garden. Stefania blamed Vali for it.

Everyone around here knew Vali. He was born and grew up in the village. All the elders could tell you how he was as a child: smiling, polite, faithful, hard-working.

In a similar fashion everyone around here also knew Stefania, for she too was born and grew up in the village. The elders also remembered her as a child. Capricious, spiteful, ever-complaining and greedy. Just like today.

Of course, her parent’s beatings and teachings had managed to calm her down for some time, grooming her into a quiet, pretty and pleasant young girl. But as soon as she was wed, and far away from her parents’ grasp (who died soon after), she returned to her true self, the one of a nasty little thing.

Nobody knew why Vali chose her out of all the girls of the village. He was himself quite a good-looking man - fair eyes, strong brows, brown hair, without any kind of scar or deformity - despite the roughness and crudeness his farmer life gave to its appearance. Field work had given him strong muscles - bulging arms, wide shoulders, thick trunk - while generous meals and abundant drinks at the inn had rounded his face, curved his belly and widened his thighs. He was certainly one of the village’s strongest men, and could have easily beaten Stefania into submission. Yet, he supported her cries, and screams, and insults, without ever raising his voice or flinching. Some called him a true saint. Others called him a true fool.

And now, if this first plague wasn’t enough, came the storms… Bad storms, frightening storms. “The work of the Devil” some said. Heavy and violent rains, sometimes turning into hail. Howling winds calling forth black clouds turning the day into a pitch-black night. And of course, the lightning, great white spears hitting the ground and burning down trees. The water, the wind and the celestial fire destroyed not only the growing crops of poor Vali, but also everything he kept in his granary. The couple was left with barely anything to eat. While Vali tightened his belt and started working twice as much, Stefania could only weep about their misery and berate her husband for his inability to protect their food or gain money faster. The people of the village were generous with them, yes, and offered them a loaf of bread, a ham or some potatoes from time to time - but this charity wouldn’t last forever. And Stefania never liked these people much anyway.

Stefania, despite being born to mere cobblers, living in a humble village and being the wife of a farmer, had always dreamed of another, higher, much different life. The life of an aristocrat, the life of a princess, the life of a lady, filled with wealths and luxuries. She had seen, several times, noblewomen in their horse-drawn carriages pass by the road near the village, and each time she envied their pretty dresses, their shining jewels, their loyal servants and their beautiful husbands. In this God forsaken village, dressed in ugly rags, eating raw or boiled vegetables, walking and working in the mud, she felt humiliated, smothered, slowly dying. She knew that there was better out there, she knew that she deserved better than that, and she knew she was better than all of this.

And she was ready to do anything to make her dreams come true.

“We will sell the farm.” she declared one night.

It had been a foggy day, followed by a rainy night. Far away, you could hear the faint rumblings of a heart storm thunder, the kind that merely echoes in the darkness, without any lightning to split the dark skies.

“This is the only way for us to obtain money fast.” she went on.

“We don’t need to do that now.” Vali objected. “We don’t need huge sums of money for now. Just little ones. If we are strong, hard-working and wait until next summer, we can…”

“What if there is another storm? Or a freezing spring, or if the crops burn in summer? No! It is all too risky, too dangerous! We lost too much! I can’t possibly let you gamble on some fickle land and capricious weather!”

“Farming is not gambling, and these lands are not fickle. These lands are my family’s and farming is hard work.”

“I am telling you, Vali, that we need to sell the farm! We can’t wait anymore! I’m starving! With the money we’ll get, we’ll be able to move out of this dreadful village, into a bigger, safer city. There we could… we could become servants for a wealthy family! Gardeners, nurses, gate-keepers, floor-scrubbers, the jobs aren’t lacking! It will provide us with a roof, with food, and with money for a time until…”

“I don’t want to move out of this village, Stefania. I love this village. It is my home and family. I am telling you, I won’t sell this farm.”

“You are acting stupid! Stubborn and stupid like a child! We need to sell it! Once you’ve gained some decent and honest money, you will…”

“With this farm, I earned decent and honest money, Stefania, just like my parents did. Remember? This was my father’s farm, and my grandfather’s farm, and this is now my farm. I won’t sell it. It is my duty to keep it.”

“Duty? You don’t have any duty, you big oaf! To who will you transmit this piece of swampy land? To your son maybe? Ha! Don’t make me laugh! As for your father, he is dead, and your grandfather, he is rotting away! Corpses don’t care what one does with their farm! Their eyes were probably already devoured by the maggots!”

Vali hit the table with his fit. For the first time in her life, Stefania saw harshness, coldness and darkness on her husband’s face, and for the first time, she heard angriness in his voice.

“Stefania, don’t insult my family, and don’t treat the dead lightly. You seem to forget that I am your husband, and thus you are bound to obey me. I let your vile tongue run free to spit all the poison you want on honest and decent people, but remember that it is still my right to close your mouth so that you’ll choke on your own venom. Are we clear?”

Stefania was boiling with rage.

“Don’t you dare say such things to me, Vali! Don’t you dare threaten me! Never, ever have you dared such… such an infamy! You are a prideful, stubborn and wicked man, Vali! Threatening your own wife! You want us to starve and die rather than selling this rotting wooden box! A coffin, this is what this farm is! A coffin with a cursed land, haunted by your rotten ancestors! You want us to die, Vali, but I want to live! So go play with the corpses and ghosts if you like, die this instant if that pleases you, but you won’t…”

They were interrupted by loud, booming noise, so deafening it seemed almost as if the thunder was right outside of their house - but it was just someone hitting violently on the door.

“Who could it be at such an hour? And why are they knocking so loudly?” Stefania complained. “What rudeness. Well come on, don’t stand there, go!”

Vali, still vibrant with rage, got up and opened the door.

Outside of it stood a massive black silhouette.

“Excuse me, is this Vali’s home?”

“I am Vali. What do you want of me?”

“Merely to salute you, old friend.”

“Who are you?”

“Don’t you remember me, Vali?”

“Your voice sounds familiar.”

“It is because we have been friends, Vali. Brothers of milk, brothers of tears. May I enter? The rain is cold.”

Vali nodded and gestured for the man to enter. The stranger squeezed himself through the small door. Vali was flabbergasted to find someone taller and wider than him. In fact, this mysterious guest was so big, his flesh seemed to sink into the frame of the door, and he had to push himself to pass the threshold. Vali feared that he would get stuck, but the man managed somehow to compress his bulk to pass the door, and when inside immediately expanded back into a huge, gargantuan fat man.

Vali only knew of one person, one friend, who was taller than him. But it couldn’t possibly be him… And yet, when Vali raised his head to look at the stranger’s face, he recognized those small and narrow eyes on top of a rounded nose.

“Dragomir? Is that you?”

The stranger smiled, his pointy teeth shining in the dark.

“Yes, Vali. Long time no see.”

XXX

Vali and Dragomir sat near the chimney and talked there for a long time. Now that his old friend was here, Vali had forgotten all about his anger and the unpleasantness of his wife. He was all smiles, laughs and joy, for he hadn’t seen Dragomir since he was a fourteen-year-old lad. Dragomir and him used to be best friends, well more like brothers, raised by the same nurse, partners in games and partners in crime. They cherished each other dearly and cared one for another, through protection, gifts and other lovely things. Their adventures together had however been brutally interrupted when Dragomir’s parents passed away. Now an orphan, he was soon bought by a nobleman from a far away city who wished to make him his personal assistant. It was a very good situation for Dragomir, but the two boys still cried heavily upon saying goodbye.

And, after thirteen years, they were reunited. A lot of things had changed in thirteen years. Beginning with Dragomir’s body.

Back when he was still a child, Dragomir was a tall and thin boy, almost skeletal. He was nicknamed the “branch”, the “twig”, the “bone”. His skinniness was due to some sickness, that also prevented him from doing any hard work at home or in the field, and made him vomit food that was either too hot or too cold.

Yet, here he was, as fat as a winter hog! A true mountain of flesh dwarfing Vali, who was reputed for being one of the biggest men of the village.

“He must eat so much, in his fancy city manor.” Vali thought. “He must have feasts every day and every night. He was really lucky to be chosen by this nobleman.”

Vali couldn’t take his eyes off Dragomir’s body - a body so different from the one he used to know, the one he regularly hugged or hit. It was now a body of wealth, of abundance, of domination. A beautiful body of riches. Dragomir’s face was now as round as the full moon, with a double-chin that spilled over his tight collar and his white bow-tie. His shirt and vest, immaculate, were stretched to the point of almost popping by his belly the size of a haystack, a belly so big Dragomir, in fact, couldn’t have closed his jacket even if he wanted to. And his pants! As black as his jacket, as beautiful as his red-lined cape, and as big as a ship’s sail! It was simple: Dragomir’s pants were so big Vali could easily fit whole into just one of the legs! And up there… Between the tight vest and the small bow-tie… His shirt was so white it blinded Vali, but the cloth couldn’t hide it… Dragomir’s chest. Bigger. Plumper. Fatter. Two firm mounds of flesh, which reminded our farmer of the generous chest of some of the most charming girls of the village, and this thought made him blush. Hopefully for him, Dragomir hadn’t noticed anything - he was too busy speaking.

A long, complex, flowery monologue, detailed to Vali everything that happened to Dragomir after he left, said all there was to say about his new houses and brought him the latest gossip concerning the members of the government. Many things Vali didn’t really pay attention to, for, to be honest, Dragomir was dreadfully boring. Now that he had learned the language of the cities, he spoke long and twisted sentences filled with delicate, eccentric words Vali ignored the meaning of. He spoke of names and places Vali had no idea about, and he talked so easily of money, expenses and spendings - without any shame, restraint or care - that it shocked deeply Vali. It shocked him and it made him quite sad, for now he was realizing that Dragomir and him were part of two different worlds.

He was a wealthy and cultured man, belonging to cities, politics and banks. Vali was an humble, dirty, nearly illiterate peasant. They made a strange duo, Vali thought bitterly. He was there, a big, stinky, raggedy man with a skin turned red by the sun, and Dragomir was in front of him, an even bigger man, dressed finely with an expensive suit, impeccable, without any stain on his delicate clothes or noble pale skin. The hunched servant in front of the caped master.

Quickly, Dragomir began asking questions about Vali’s situation. He wanted to know every single detail of the farmer’s life, just like he had shared his own little (and often boring) details. Vali, torn, between a desire to share everything with his truest friend and the shame of his own life compared to this extraordinary existence of Dragomir - who was now nearly a stranger - decided to merely mumble vague answers, even though each time Dragomir pressed him for more details and more information.

“I have never forgotten you, Vali.” he insisted. “Every day, every night, when I lied down or when I woke up, I kept asking myself, what could possibly have happened to him? Where is he right now? Is he happy? Is he sick? Is he…”

Dragomir stopped for a time, before turning his eyes towards Stefania.

“And I see you are married!”

Vali’s wife took this as an invitation to share the discussion. She took a chair, sat next to Dragomir - in fact, very close to Dragomir - and began describing him her wedding to Vali by the detail. Usually, it was a tale of woe where she listed all the accidents and incidents, all of the bad omens she receives, all of the mistakes and failures of her husband. But today, she had to adapt to her audience, so she rather told a glorious tale of a beautiful and perfect Vali swearing his undying love for her in a beautiful pastoral, almost arcadian, setting, under a blue sky filled with singing birds and a shining, golden sun.

Dragomir listened carefully, nodding to everything Stefania said, even though his piercing eyes never left even once Vali. Stefania went on speaking about her own family, about the death of her parents, about the kindness of Vali and her proudness to be his wife. She finally ended up talking about the dreadful storms.

“Storms? Really?” said Dragomir.

Vali noted something strange in his voice. He was obviously trying to fake surprise, and failed to do so. In fact he sounded… almost amused.

Stefania painted him an apocalyptic picture, a true Wild Hunt trampling down their farm, a fight between demons and angels cracking the sky open in a swirl of wind, water and fire. She concluded by how now Vali and her were doomed to misery, poverty and hunger.

“It was the Devil’s doing, good Sir! God couldn’t possibly punish people as good as ourselves! The Devil wanted Vali’s ruin because he was too good, and he succeeded! We don’t have nothing anymore! We are forced to sell the farm! We will go away, become homeless beggars on the road!”

“No.”

Dragomir had said this word softly, and yet it seemed that it spread in strong, piercing echoes throughout the entire room, stunning both Vali and Stefania.

“No, I won’t let it be. Vali, my friend, I can’t possibly leave you in such misery. I’ll help you. I’ll give you enough money to repair your farm and survive this year.”

“Dragomir…”

Stefania, overjoyed, interrupted her husband:

“Good Sir, we thank you kindly for your kind help! You are our salvation and savior, and we are redeemable to you, in body and soul! Your feelings are the most noble! We will pray for you at the next mass.”

Dragomir laughed.

“Oh good Sir, we can’t possibly thank you enough! You are saving our lives! To last for this year, we would need at least…”

Dragomir whispered a “shush” and, quite surprisingly, Stefania immediately stopped babbling.

“No need to give me an amount. I’ll give you what I want.”

Dragomir slipped his dark-gloved hand into an inside pocket of his jacket, and took out a purse the size of wolf’s heart. He threw it on the nearby table, and it opened, spilling glittering golden coins.

Stefania had a shriek of surprise, followed by a moan of pleasure, her hands tightly clutched on her heart. Vali opened wide eyes, flabbergasted and pale.

“Oh, thank you! Thank…”

“No.”

This time, it was Vali who interrupted Stefania.

“No, Dragomir, this is too much. I can’t possibly accept…”

“I insist, my dear friend. I want you to receive this money. If it can also help you for the years to come, then I’ll be more than pleased.”

“No, Dragomir, I can’t possibly… It… It is not right! I don’t like it!”

“What are you saying, you stu…” started to shout Stefania before calming down. “Darling, we need this money. Without it, we will starve.”

“I don’t want to steal from you, Dragomir.” Vali insisted. “And this feels like stealing. In the worst way. Exploiting your kindness and generosity… A freud. That’s it, it feels like a fraud. And I can’t possibly accept so much. We barely found back each other and…”

Vali stopped for a time, looking into the fire.

“We are not beggars yet.” he finally went on. “We still have hope. If we work hard and honestly, we can survive on our own. I appreciate your gesture, and I know you mean well, but I possibly can’t… It is not right.”

Dragomir had… an expression on his face. The weirdest expression Vali ever saw on a human face. He couldn’t put a name on it. Was he disdainful, or admirative? Surprised or curious? Or maybe all at once, or maybe none, maybe it was something more complex, something only a city man with a big vocabulary could name…

Dragomir slowly leaned forward, took off one of his gloves, and took Vali’s callused hand into his own. Wide, fat and plump. Pale and smooth. Very strong. But very cold.

“Vali. Look at me in the eyes.”

Vali did so. And he felt… something. Something he hadn’t felt for such a long time… something wonderful and terrifying at the same time. Fear, trust, adoration and shame rushed in his head and twirled like the storm’s mad winds.

“Vali, I don’t want to turn you into a beggar. I couldn’t stand the thought of you… I just couldn’t. I don’t want you to become a thief or a crook either. I am deeply sorry if my gift offended you, but please, accept it. I am not acting out of pity or charity here, for I am by no means a charitable man. This is a gift. A present. To my friend. My truest, dearest, oldest friend. Brother of milk and brother of tears. I left you so long ago… and we haven’t seen each other since. And we probably won’t see each other again for a very… very long time. If ever. So please, accept this gift. A friend’s gift. A symbol of my trust, of my faith, of my devotion to you. You are a good man, Vali, and awful things happened to you. I want justice in this world, and if this storm was the Devil’s work, then… think of myself as one of God’s angels. Please. I cherish you so much… I can’t possibly let you in the hands of Famine, misery and Death. They are no ladies of good company. I want to at least try to do something to help you. I can’t just abandon you like that. I just can’t.”

Vali felt tears in his eyes. His heart was beating fast and hard, so much it hurt. He quickly took his hand away from the one of his friend, smiling.

“I’ll accept your gift, Dragomir. Thank you.”

The gentleman, satisfied, raised his enormous body off the chair, which suddenly bolted up like a spring upon being released from the crushing weight of its charge.

“I must be going now. I am pleased to have seen you again, Vali. I hope we will be able to meet again.”

“Another day. I would like that too.”

“Another night.” mysteriously answered Dragomir.

Stefania tried to salute him, but he paid no mind to her, didn’t even look into her direction. He rather turned his back to the couple, his black cape twirling and dancing around him, before opening the door. He squished his mass through the frame and disappeared in the darkness of the night and the rain.

“Wait!” said Stefania.

But it was too late. Dragomir had vanished in the shadows.

XXX

Vali woke up in the middle of the night. There was a noise. A weird one, inside the house. He turned in his bed, trying not to wake up Stefania - only to realize that she wasn’t there anymore.

Another sound, louder than the first one, followed by some mumblings. Half-asleep, Vali got up and went out of the bedroom.

He found Stefania in the living room, in front of the fire, several bags by her side, putting on her coat.

“Stefania? What are you doing?”

She looked frightened upon hearing his voice, but quickly smiled.

“Nothing! Go back to sleep, it’s nothing!”

“Stefania, why are you dressed up?”

“I… I heard a noise outside. I am going to look at it.”

“Then let me come with you.”

“No! No need!” she shouted.

“And all those bags, what are they for?”

“It’s… a…”

Vali looked at the chest on which Dragomir’s money had been stored. It was now opened and empty.

“Stefania! The chest is opened! The money is gone!”

Stefania sighed and brandished a knife.

“You poor stupid fool… Couldn’t you have just go back to sleep?”

“Stefania?”

The ugliest expression Vali ever saw on a human face appeared on Stefania’s traits.

“I am leaving you, Vali. I took the money, and I am going away, and you won’t stop me or I’ll stab you.”

“Stefania… I don’t understand…” stuttered the man.

“This money! This is too much! Too much to simply mend a roof or buy food!” she screamed. “I could buy a house, a manor with all that! Move in the city! Have pretty dresses, and rare jewels, and servants, and fine diners! This is what I always wanted! This is my dream, this is my life, Vali! God sent it to me and I have to take my chance!”

“This is Dragomir’s money! You can’t do that!”

“For years I have been a slave, trapped by you in this horrific coffin! If I have an opportunity to get out, I’ll take it. You are a stupid man, so stupid you would waste this money! But I am clever! I know exactly what to do with it! And you are just a rock tied to my leg! You drag everything, you stop everything, you ruin everything! You are a dead man Vali, a walking corpse with an empty head and an empty heart! Dumb, blind, stupid! If I stay, you’ll lead me to ruin!”

“Stefania, stop it!” Vali shouted. “Don’t you hear yourself? You’re mad! Mad with the gold… The fever of the gold! You need to…”

“Stop telling me what I need to do or not to do!” Stefania screamed. “You think you can go on giving me orders? Now I have the money! I have the power! I give orders!”

“I am your husband!”

“Oh, really? Is that what you are? Even in bed? Huh? Where are the children, Vali? Why haven’t I fallen pregnant yet? Where is the love? Where is the flesh? The other men would act like the animals that they are, but you… you don’t have any life or heat in you. A corpse without any passion or desire! Not with me, nor with any other woman for that matter! You dare tell me I’m mad? You’re the sick one, everyone knows that!”

“Stefania…”

“Else, why would you have your parents and mine arranging this wedding? They paid well to cover your derangement. But all the money went into my parent’s grave, and now it is time for me to find a new source of income.”

Vali felt all the dark emotions he had bottled up for so long come back boiling into his mind. Stefania reminded him of very dark times, and with this memory came back all of the poisonous whispers of… of the dark things. Of the wrath, of the hate, of the rancor and the grudges, of the despair, of the shame, of the injustice, of the punishment, of the vengeance and of the forbidden thing.

He had managed to forget all that. For years he had been working so hard so forget all that… And now, she dared to…

Think something else, Vali said to himself. Focus. This money. She wants to steal this money. Dragomir’s money. Your friend’s money. Your friend’s trust. Dragomir’s love. She won’t get away with it.

Groaning, Vali stomped in front of Stefania, trying to catch her arm with his big hand. They were thin as twigs, he thought. I could easily break them.

But she was fast. Hate and greed excited her so much she was now fast, agile, and deadly.

She escaped Vali’s clutches, and stabbed him - right into his stomach, his wide and bulging stomach, an easy target. She smiled and immediately stabbed him two more times - above the stomach, in the chest - before hitting him on the jaw with her elbow. Vali fell on his back. She was giggling like a child.

“Thanks for finally giving me some sort of pleasure.” she laughed. “Goodbye Vali. May you rot in your coffin-farm and this dreadful village.”

She took her bags, opened the door and fled in the night. Vali, his cramped and bloody torso hurting and burning, managed to get up. He still felt his wife’s elbow in his jaw. A coldness was starting to sip in his body, making him shiver. His flesh was tingly, his wounds were stinging.

She’s getting away, he thought.

He walked towards the opened door, but once the threshold passed, he started to stagger. The fresh, humid air of the night hit him like a wall of ice. His legs felt weird and weak. The coldness was in all of his body now, and his head was buzzing. His cranium felt tight, as if his brain was being crushed by an iron belt.

It was hard to see. The rain had been reduced to a mere fog of water. With that and the clouds before the moon, it was hard to see.

He walked a bit before falling to his knees. He was cold. Too cold.

Only then he realized what was happening.

“I am dying. I am dying. She killed me.”

He felt terrified. He feared what was going to happen to him. He thought about hell, about damnation, about sin, and he deeply regretted it. He regretted not to have been into confession. He regretted his actions. He regretted his being. He regretted his own essence, his own life. He started to cry - and, suddenly, the pain started. Violent aches making him scream, as if Stefania was stabbing him again.

He screamed her name, without any answers. He cried her name, and still no answers. He then merely called for help. He called his neighbors, his priest, everyone he knew, every name he could remember. No one answered. His limbs were getting numb, and his throat dry.

“I failed.” he thought. “I failed. I died for some gold. Worthless gold.”

A whisper in his mind answered: “Not worthless gold. Dragomir’s gold. His gift, for you. His friendship, his trust, his love.”

Vali thought to himself: “I still failed. I couldn’t keep that. I couldn’t protect it. She got away with it. I betrayed Dragomir. I failed him.”

He lied down on the ground, for it was too tiring to stand up and so easy to just lay down. He was tired. Weak, tired and cold.

“Dragomir.” he whispered.

He remembered his surprise upon seeing his friend’s new appearance, and this surprise made him laugh. He tried to remember Dragomir as he was before, and the image of the sick scrawny kid appeared, the picture of the weak not-so-little-fellow he cared for and played with… Vali smiled and wept at the same time, for he was both happy and sad. But more than that, he was so tired.

“Dragomir!” he shouted boldly, and he decided that would be his last word.

“Usually I wait until my name is uttered three times, but for you I’ll make an exception.”

Dragomir. He was there. Standing over Vali.

“Dragomir! You’re… here.”

“I was always there. What happened to you? All this… blood.”

Dragomir licked his lips.

“She stabbed me. I am dying.”

Dragomir lost his composure and looked torn. Torn between pleasure and sadness.

“She? Who? Your wife?”

Vali tried to nod but he shivered so violently he decided not to move. He tried to say yes, but found himself unable to say this simple word. His tongue just wouldn’t let him pronounce this short sound.

“She went… with the money. Gold fever. Mad.”

“She stole the gold? It doesn’t surprise me. She reeked greed.” he answered with calm before kneeling down.

Vali studied Dragomir’s face. It was so beautiful. His cheeks were so round and fleshy. He wanted to touch them, to caress them. To kiss them. And his pale skin… He wanted to feel it. Feel it rubbing on his body. These thin lips… he also wanted to kiss them. To lick them. And these pointy teeth… he wanted them to bite his own lips, bite his own tongue, bite his own body.

Vali’s dizzy and blurry mind was now filled with all sorts of lustful and indecent thoughts, as if dying was breaking down the wall he had carefully built all these years. But he did not care. He felt like a dream. With before his eyes, a spectral beauty. Vali felt so light it was as if he had no body at all. Which was quite funny, for when he fell down, he was so heavy… to heavy to stand up, to heavy to move… He felt so heavy and now he felt so… ethereal. It was a word Dragomir said, a word Vali didn’t know the meaning of, but one he thought fit well in this situation.

“I am sorry, Vali.” Dragomir whispered. “I am sincerely sorry. I haven’t felt sorry for… such a long time. But I do.”

It was still a calm voice, but one with no pride, joy or confidence. It was the sad voice of a lonely man.

“I can’t even cry… I am sorry for causing all that. For I caused all that. I just wanted to play a bit and see you again and… Maybe I was foolish for thinking I could just go back. I am now a harbinger of doom and misery. I am the mad men’s king, I am plague personified. Vali… Just because I wanted to see you again, I tore apart your life, I turned the woman you loved against you. I only know how to destroy and…”

Vali laughed.

“She never loved me and I never loved her!” he said.

His breathing sounded almost like a whistle.

“I… To hell with that. T’is where I’m going anyway. I can’t love her. Can’t love… women. I’m sick. Drago… I’m sick. I… I loved you. Cause I’m sick.”

Vali felt a new pain in his chest. Not a physical one. He bit his tongue as tears rolled down his chest.

“I loved you. Ever. Since kids. I… I still. Drago…”

Vali found out he couldn’t say no more. He didn’t have the strength. His eyelids were so heavy… the ground so comfortable… and the cold was going away…

Dragomir smiled, and laughed too.

“As usual… I shouldn’t be surprised. I should know by now that everything turns out good for me. I knew I was a lucky boy, but that lucky? Blessed be the blood gods!”

Dragomir laughed, much louder this time. A laugh that echoed through the land.

“Oh… such a waste of blood. Oh, I’m going to enjoy this so much! It will be fun!”

Dragomir giggled. He had the same manic, childish glee as Stefania had earlier.

“If you love me, since I love you too, shouldn’t we kiss?”

Dragomir leaned on top of Vali’s body. Vali felt it, and it was dreadfully heavy.

“It will sting a bit, my Vali…” Dragomir whispered in his ear. “But don’t worry. You’ll live… you won’t feel pain… and you’ll be mine. Forever.”

#weight gain #kink story #commission #fat vampire #obese #overweight #fat romance #gothic kink i guess #fat

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mybeautifulchristianjourney · 1 year ago

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Hezekiah’s Sickness and Recovery

1 In those days Hezekiah became sick and was at the point of death. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came to him, and said to him, “Thus says the LORD: Set your house in order, for you shall die, you shall not recover.” 2 Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, 3 and said, “Please, O LORD, remember how I have walked before you in faithfulness and with a whole heart, and have done what is good in your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

4 Then the word of the LORD came to Isaiah: 5 “Go and say to Hezekiah, Thus says the LORD, the God of David your father: I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will add fifteen years to your life. 6 I will deliver you and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria, and will defend this city.

7 “This shall be the sign to you from the LORD, that the LORD will do this thing that he has promised: 8 Behold, I will make the shadow cast by the declining sun on the dial of Ahaz turn back ten steps.” So the sun turned back on the dial the ten steps by which it had declined.

9 A writing of Hezekiah king of Judah, after he had been sick and had recovered from his sickness:

10 I said, In the middle of my days I must depart; I am consigned to the gates of Sheol for the rest of my years.

11 I said, I shall not see the LORD, the LORD in the land of the living; I shall look on man no more among the inhabitants of the world.

12 My dwelling is plucked up and removed from me like a shepherd’s tent; like a weaver I have rolled up my life; he cuts me off from the loom; from day to night you bring me to an end;

13 I calmed myself until morning; like a lion he breaks all my bones; from day to night you bring me to an end.

14 Like a swallow or a crane I chirp; I moan like a dove. My eyes are weary with looking upward. O Lord, I am oppressed; be my pledge of safety!

15 What shall I say? For he has spoken to me, and he himself has done it. I walk slowly all my years because of the bitterness of my soul.

16 O Lord, by these things men live, and in all these is the life of my spirit. Oh restore me to health and make me live!

17 Behold, it was for my welfare that I had great bitterness; but in love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back.

18 For Sheol does not thank you; death does not praise you; those who go down to the pit do not hope for your faithfulness.

19 The living, the living, he thanks you, as I do this day; the father makes known to the children your faithfulness.

20 The LORD will save me, and we will play my music on stringed instruments all the days of our lives, at the house of the LORD.

21 Now Isaiah had said, “Let them take a cake of figs and apply it to the boil, that he may recover.” 22 Hezekiah also had said, “What is the sign that I shall go up to the house of the LORD?” — Isaiah 38 | English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Cross References: Numbers 16:33; Deuteronomy 6:7; Deuteronomy 6:18; Joshua 10:12-13; Judges 6:17; 2 Samuel 12:22; 1 Kings 21:27; 2 Kings 18:12-13; 2 Kings 20:7-8; Job 10:16; Job 33:24; Psalm 27:13; Psalm 33:1; Isaiah 31:5; Isaiah 39:1; 2 Corinthians 1:9; 2 Corinthians 5:1; Hebrews 7:22; Hebrews 12:9

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moments777 · 3 months ago

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HOW THE APOSTLES DIED.~~~

1. Matthew

Suffered martyrdom in Ethiopia, Killed by a sword wound.

2. Mark (not an apostle,but one of the first missionaries)

Died in Alexandria, Egypt , after being dragged by Horses through the streets until he was dead.

3. Luke ( not an apostle, but was Paul's doctor)

Was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous Preaching to the lost.

4. John

Faced martyrdom when he was boiled in huge Basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution In Rome. However, he was miraculously delivered From death.

John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison Island of Patmos. He wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation on Patmos . The apostle John was later freed and returned to serve As Bishop of Edessa in modern Turkey . He died as an old man, the only apostle to die peacefully

5. Peter

He was crucified upside down on an x-shaped cross.

According to church tradition it was because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die In the same way that Jesus Christ had died.

6. James

The leader of the church in Jerusalem , was thrown over a hundred feet down from the southeast pinnacle of the Temple when he refused to deny his faith in Christ. When they discovered that he survived the fall, his

enemies beat James to death with a fuller's club.

* This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.

7. James the Son of Zebedee,

was a fisherman by trade when Jesus Called him to a lifetime of ministry. As a strong leader of the church, James was ultimately beheaded at Jerusalem. The Roman officer who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial. Later, the officer Walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and Knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.

8. Bartholomew

Also known as Nathaniel Was a missionary to Asia. He witnessed for our Lord in present day Turkey. Bartholomew was martyred for his preaching in Armenia where he was flayed to death by a whip.

9. Andrew

Was crucified on an x-shaped cross in Patras, Greece. After being whipped severely by seven soldiers they tied his body to the cross with cords to prolong his agony. His followers reported that, when he was led toward the cross, Andrew saluted it in these words: 'I have long desired and expected this happy hour. The cross has been consecrated by the body of Christ hanging on it.' He continued to preach to his tormentors For two days until he expired.

10. Thomas

Was stabbed with a spear in India during one of his missionary trips to establish the church in the Sub-continent.

11. Jude

Was killed with arrows when he refused to deny his faith in Christ.

12. Matthias

The apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot, was stoned and then beheaded.

13. Paul

Was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment, which allowed him to write his many

epistles to the churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire. These letters, which taught many of the foundational Doctrines of Christianity, form a large portion of the New Testament.

14. Simon the Zealot

Simon was traditionally martyred by being sawn in half.

15. Philip

Philip evangelized in Phrygia where hostile Jews had him tortured and then crucified upside down. Some sources have him being stoned

Perhaps this is a reminder to us that our sufferings here are indeed minor compared to the intense persecution and cold cruelty faced by the apostles and disciples during their times For the sake of the Faith. And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: But he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

Pass on to encourage other Christians.🪶

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thedaveandkimmershow · 7 months ago

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Our Easter experiences traveled great distances over the years. They took place in a lot of different locations, with a lot of different people, with sometimes just ourselves.

Of course of course of course, the birth of Jesus Christ and his death and resurrection is the focus of high church holidays. That's always been. I think over time, though, what captures my thoughts the most on these days is what Jesus was doing here in the first place. What did He care about? Who did He care about?

And why.

Through the years, I'm less inclined toward a Yay Us! mentality and more inclined toward wondering if we're doing what we say we're here to do.

What we're here to do.

Or, if you prefer, think of it as what we're doing while we're here.

Matthew 9:36

36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

Which brings me back to what did Jesus care about? Who did Jesus care about?

And why.

If I'm feeling especially lazy, I boil it down to

Matthew 22:34–40

34 But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. 35 And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Of course the 10 million dollar question becomes...

What is Love?

1 Corinthians 13

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends.

And then I think about my own experiences, the paths of other members of our human tribe with whom my life intersects even if for only a moment. I think about a lot of narratives I've seen play out. I've seen the hard way a million variations on a theme. I also observed a ton of predictable outcomes. Not as in oh that person made bad choices but as in examining the circumstances of their lives, the big picture across years, the puzzle pieces of growing up that should contribute to a stable, healthy, engaging life...

But don't.

A lot of times they just don't.

And it's not that tough to figure out why.

As well, we see a lot of trauma and chaos. More and more depression and failing to thrive. A lot more disconnection, drawing apart, and isolation. All of which is ongoing outside whilst a celebration's going on inside on these high holy days.

Our purpose, as I understand it, though, is not navel-gazing. Is not circling the wagons.

So what are we doing?

The dissonance grates, is the thing.

So.

I'm more inclined to contemplate what was most important to Jesus?

Who was most important to Jesus?

And why.

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arthurmargon · 1 year ago

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i totally agree about the mary post. i like mary and i really like the hints about her relationship with arthur but it’s distasteful and lowkey classist like you preved when people act like everything intelligent and cultured in arthur was taught to him by mary and not through his own and the gang’s

same!! i don’t feel one way or another abt their relationship tbh. well no that’s a lie i would’ve liked to see much more of them and a flashback to what they used to be so i could like mary as arthur’s love interest more bc mary as her own person outside of arthur is so interesting to me. we have to assume she’s smart and strong-willed on her own to survive high society as a widow with a father whose reputation is ass, she cares deeply abt her family despite their flaws which is smth she and arthur have in common, she’s witty and kind and brave.

but mary’s not without her own flaws and i think what bothers me abt these types of posts implying arthur was a braindead illiterate oaf before her are:

1) the classism. obviously.

2) that mindset disregards the basis of the game, which is that poor ppl, disenfranchised ppl, migrants, thieves of necessity—they’re all human beings with intelligence, sociability, culture and hearts of their own. to say that a rich woman is the only reason a poor man known 4 syllable words and etiquette is not just classist but shows ignorance of the game.

3) it boils down mary’s character. she’s not just a stereotype of prim and proper victorian womanhood. clearly she’s fucking not bc for a sizeable portion of her adolescence and early adulthood she was going to marry an outlaw and was willing to give it all up for love. both arthur and mary, and quite frankly most everyone in the game, are examples of goodness in their own way and to act like mary didn’t have any flaws in the game and was just a paragon of victorian virtue, a concept itself created by men, i feel is an act of bad faith. she’s so much more and her flaws and positive traits don’t cancel out and are not more important than arthur’s or hosea’s who we know is who taught arthur most of what he knows.

#ask #masked gunslinger

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droctarine · 2 years ago

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There's a couple things this has made me think and since nobody reads my page (not begrudging this I much prefer it lol) I wanna get those written down to try and make sense of them. Feel free to call me a dipshit if I'm way off base with any of this ig.

1. Feels like the logical endpoint from that last paragraph in particular reads as: "If you are A Man that wants to support trans people, then you should avoid being GNC, as you will be used against us." Maybe I'm misreading that, I dunno. Don't mean to take op in bad faith or anything.

1a. If that is the correct reading, then doesn't that necessarily mean that "femininity" can/ought only be practiced by non-men? Feels like backing into traditional roles from a different direction to me.

1b. I suppose it might boil down to differences in goals. The abolition or dismantling of gender as a whole may not be for everybody. Personally I think anything that expands, attacks, or otherwise alters Gender Roles and Norms is a good thing. At the same time though I also get that a goal like that shouldn't supersede trans lives as they stand now. It's all one big Process, and ya can't skip steps.

2. As far as being used as a bludgeon, I mean... they can just invent bludgeons. Like the "bathroom menaces" rhetoric. There doesn't have to be an actually existing thing to give them an excuse to be transphobic. There will never be a shortage of bludgeons as long as the will to employ them still exists. Why not simply deflect it? "Yeah this trans woman and this fem cis guy are in fact two different things. If you have a problem with it, go fuck yourself about it."

3. Don't really give a shit about the streamer guy himself funnily enough, though that's mainly from a general disdain for all of his kind. Very fence-sitter I guess. Don't think he's revolutionizing gender, don't think he's doing absolutely nothing of importance.

All in all, I am relatively new to Gender (both in myself and in Society Writ Large), so take all this with a salt lick or two. Gender Expression should make ya happy at the end of the day, and while I don't mean to discount the severity of potential reprisal from transphobes, I also don't think the fear of those reprisals should prevent you from being true to yourself.

i think f1nn5ter makes a lot of people more uncomfortable than drag does because they cant dismiss what he does as ironic and therefore nonthreatening. it isnt a parody of femininity, its legitimately looking like a woman while being fully a man and it scares people.

he represents all the fears cis people have of not being able to tell if somebody is trans, and hes living proof that humans are not nearly as dimorphic as they like to think.

#gender rambling #seriously though if I have the wrong idea about something here I would very much like to hear about it #ultimately I just wanna do right by people yknow

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madewithonerib · 1 year ago

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How to Love like JESUS P1,2,3,4 | Tim Mackie [1 Corinthians 13:1-13]

In this sermon, Tim Mackie shows us what it means to love like JESUS loved us, from 1 Corinthians 13.

Here's what Paul means at least when he uses word love & it's anchored in the teachings of JESUS is that it refers not primarily as it does in in our culture to a feeling that happens to you.

There is feeling involved, as we'll see, but it primarily love refers to action or behavior. Love is something you do--so we've been here for three.

There's our third Sunday in here & on Resurrection Sunday, Easter we finished 1.5 year long journey in our teaching series--as we explore the Gospel of Matthew.

One of the earliest accounts of JESUS's life and what we focused on were his final words in that account about JESUS declaring as the resurrected MESSIAH of Israel--that HE's the KING of the universe.

The KING of Heaven & Earth, HE said what HE commissioned HIS followers to do is to go out & tell everybody & to call them to join JESUS's new family & to become part of it & then HE defined what that meant

So HE said:

[1] Joining the family of JESUS followers you come in by getting baptized symbolic sacred symbol of going into the water & we did it last Sunday

We baptised over a dozen people.

Awesome stories unbelievable. The stories of what JESUS is doing to mess with people; here in our Church Community it's outstanding--so we celebrated that.

First JESUS talks about at end of Matthew then the second thing--it's very simple HE says what is it you're going to add?

All these Disciples & followers to the family of MY people & as their KING, here's what it means to follow everything I taught you to obey & in JESUS's teachings in Matthew we focused on a few themes & we just saw it everywhere.

What you would hear JESUS talking about on any given day is Kingdom of GOD that GOD is taking back HIS rule & reign of the world and JESUS is here to bring it all together..

So what is the appropriate response to the fact JESUS is KING of Heaven & Earth, here it comes into what HE boiled down as the basics of what it means to follow HIM:

[a] Conversation HE had about what's the greatest of all of GOD's commands & HE boiled down to the great command that had two parts.

Do you remember it was 1st love GOD, love people so the Kingdom of GOD is here; JESUS is KING over Heaven & Earth

What should I do about that as HIS follower here's my true north as a Disciple of JESUS

[1] love GOD & [2] love people

Growing in my capacity to love others well is order number one of a follower of JESUS so we thought before we dive into another Book of the Bible--which we're going to do week after next.

We're going to jump into a few of months exploring the Book of Daniel in the OT.. but before we do that we thought no let's just take JESUS at HIS Word like HE wants us to obey what HE taught us.

To love GOD & to love people, so we just wanted to take a few weeks & just camp out on what it means to truly follow King JESUS & grow in our capacity to love.

We're being guided in our reflections on what it means to love by one of the most beautiful expositions of what love is for Christians anywhere in the whole Bible.

It's in Paul's first letter to the Corinthians CH 13.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 | ¹ If I speak in the tongues of men & of angels, but have not love, I am only a ringing gong or a clanging cymbal.

² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries & all knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor & exult in the surrender of my body, but have not love, I gain nothing. ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

⁵ It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. ⁶ Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth.

⁷ It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be restrained; where there is knowledge, it’ll be dismissed.

⁹ For we know in part & we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when the perfect comes, the partial passes away. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.

When I became a man, I set aside childish ways.

¹² Now we see but a dim reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope, & love; but the greatest of these is love.

How to Love like JESUS P1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 | Tim Mackie [1 Corinthians 13:1-13]

#1 Corinthians 13:8 #Love #Love Will Outlive All the Gifts

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antiloreolympus · 3 years ago

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7 Anti LO Asks

1. Do you know what really gets my blood boiling about this comic? Persephone and Demeter's relationship.

In the myths, Demeter and Persephone loved each other more than anything. Their reunion is so important - it marked the coming of spring and growth. A whole cult was dedicated to this for crying out loud. Yes, the myths were far from perfect, but the Persephone and Demeter myth showed the strength of a loving mother-daughter relationship with Demeter searching endlessly to find her child that was ripped away and had her innocence forcibly taken.

Now, RS is not the only author to make Demeter this over-bearing mother type in order to put more positivity onto the Hades-Persephone relationship. However, RS takes this trend to a whole new level - to the point where I would even consider it misogyny.

How is it, she takes this beautiful mother-daughter relationship and makes it out to be an abusive and controlling one, and then takes the Hades-Persephone relationship from a forceful one to a loving, perfect relationship with no problems? How is it ok to ruin one relationship to elevate another?

I understand that many versions of the myth try to downplay Hades' actions, and even make it so Persephone actually falls in love with him and there is no rape. But it doesn't change that this relationship was problematic, and meant to represent the loss of innocence.

Then fans have the gall to claim this comic is feminist and then claim on top of that that Demeter and Persephone's relationship was the same in the myth? These fans clearly don't know the myths, and neither does RS.

Making Hades a good person is fine. Changing it up a bit to make Persephone's loss of innocence something else is also fine. But ruining Demeter and Persephone's relationship? Especially when Persephone has to spend half the year with her? So horrible.

2. im sorry, but rachel cant introduce KRONOS coming back and then dropping it for several episodes to focus on a stake-less trail and persephone not knowing what lingerie to seduce hades in. like thats too much of an earth shaking development and huge stake plot point to just ignore for months to focus instead on something as minor as hxp's relationship, which only points out a huge flaw: why is hxp's relationship so minor in this? isnt the whole point supposed to be about them?

3. I think LO completely dropped the ball over Hades’ characterization.

From the first ep I thought ok, this is good, we have some bones to see he’s not that lucky in love and is just tired and lonely, and while ignoring the creepy actions towards Persephone, I thought ok, Artemis hates him, Hestia hates, even Ares hates him, maybe once Persephone finally sees the underworld and probably gets to know him it’ll be a clever twist and they’ll be proven wrong. The underworld will turn out to be fair and just, the citizens will love Hades, he’ll be revealed to be a good leader and king and not like his brothers, it’ll be like everyone saying Hades of myth isn’t actually that bad, and it’ll help reinforce why this sweet and bubbly Persephone wants him, she sees the real him, not the mean rumors and assumptions, this is perfect.

And then it just didn’t happen. The exact opposite happened, actually.

We’re shown the LO underworld is cruel and unjust, where the poor dead are forced into slavery and Hades created a harsh class divide with him and him only on top, the citizens hate him, the underworld gods don’t trust him and openly seem ok if he’s taken out of power, he’s not a good leader and king and doesn’t even want the job yet keeps it for his own ego and grip of power m, and on top of it all he is just like his brothers, if not worse. He loves to get violent over any little slight against him, he hoards wealth and resources to enrich himself while his citizens starve and struggle to survive, he’s corrupt, he controls all the media and laws to bend to his will, sleeps with his brothers wife for centuries behind his back while claiming to be holier than thou, he has sex with his secretaries who are made dependent on him for any way to survive, and now he lusts after his barely legal intern who is also now dependent on him for her way to survive, and that’s only what I remember off the top of my head.

LO perfectly set up to prove Hades isn’t the devil or the false pop culture assumption that he’s evil and to show some actual facts from myth, and yet Rachel only ended up reinforcing exactly that and even making him even worse with her made up ideas, all while thinking having Persephone ignore or excuse it somehow makes it not bad or even a good thing. It’s honestly kind of impressive just how bad of writing that actually is.

4. Chapter 172 is not that interesting. It’s setup had me excited to see Hephaestus and Hera and learning more about echo, but it’s cut so short. Because again the story can’t leave HXP out for 2 seconds.

I can also see why Zeus is gonna go insane.

5. i agree w/ other anon. LO should have pulled a PJO or a BoZ and just made up OCs and have them interact with the gods than whatever Rachel thinks shes doing, which is lying she's being accurate and faithful while completely changing all of it, removing what is needed, and adding what isnt so that it lines up with no actual myth besides like, various 50 shades fanfic she read in 2015 and some popular tumblr text posts.

6 . the animation studio behind blood of zeus literally can only draw one face for the men and one face for the women and they were still able to make the gods all look distinct and hot while LO can't even bother to use more than 6 colors and can only have the women look as tiny as possible with the biggest boobs while the men are all just lego men.

7. ////FP SPOILERS////

Okay so like I stopped reading LO way back before season 1 ended, and a majority of my knowledge of the series comes from what I read here on your blog which is enough for me lol and I decided to read the latest 5 chapters just to see what's up (on zahard. I refuse to give the actual series any views)

And I just. Could not take the whole scene with Daphne running from Apollo seriously? The anatomy and art inconsistency was so distracting that i genuinely could not find it serious. Even when Thanatos discovers her hibernated body I couldn't take it seriously because of how she looked?

And when Hades had that call (??? Was it a call? Or his inner dialogue? I couldn't really tell ngl) with Zeus and said he's causing Persephone unnecessary distress, and that she didn't pose any threat. B!tch??? She killed a ton of mortals??? She has no control over her powers???? She's literally a fugitive for the aforementioned things??? She apparently woke Kronos up? (Idk if anyone knows about that, again my knowledge only spans to whatever I read here) Hello????

And I have a lot to say about the chapters starting the trial but I'll only mention one thing; Hades saying "I don't think blindly supporting my little brother would be doing him any favours (as a ruler)" had me cackling. This is coming from a guy blindly supporting a girl he's literally only known for a few weeks, who's like what, only recently turned 20? Sit tf down Hades you're not cool, you creepy ass overgrown smurf.

Overall I still hate this series lmao. Regarding art though I feel like I wouldn't be so miffed about the anatomy much if the character designs were consistent and the story was compelling. They literally change hairstyles and body types frame by frame, and it's distracting.

The timeline from what I read here is laughable. 4 years in publication with almost 200 chapters and you're telling me only like a month has passed canonically. That's wild and such poor writing.

And as someone who literally will sympathise with any lead character pretty quickly, the story makes me hate them. It makes me want to root against them. I also hate the fact this trash is somehow top ranked on webtoons when so many other stories are far better then it.

Anyway, many thanks to this blog for existing and allowing me to dump so much text here to vent out my hate for this series lmao. You the mvp fam, hope you're having a good day 🥂🥂🥂

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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raeynbowboi · 3 years ago

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How to Play as Morgan le Fey in DnD 5e

Morgan le Fey just dropped in SMITE, and I’ve had worse excuses to build a character. However, I don’t want to boil her down to just one single source. Morgan has over 800 years of appearances in stories and media to pull from. So, for this build, we’re wanting to explore Morgan’s entire repertoire of appearances in media from her first appearances in Geoffrey of Monmouth’s Historia Regem Britanniea to modern appearances in television, movies, and literature. I have not seen everything she’s ever been in, but we can extrapolate a lot from a cursory glance.

While Morgan is called Le Fey, I don’t believe it’s ever clearly stated which parent she inherits her fey ancestry from, though it may originate from her mother Igerna, as in the 14th century work of Huon de Bordeaux, King Arthur goes to war with Morgan’s son King Oberon over the realm of the faeries. Igerna being Arthur’s mother and Oberon’s grandmother would explain how both men could have a claim to the throne of Fairyland. It’s possible she’s a water faerie, known in Wales and Breton as Mari-Morgans, which drown men.

Morgan’s first education came from a nunnery where she studied necromancy of all things. Morgan later becomes the young pupil of Merlin, with a deep fascination with magic, and showing tremendous talent for it. She was very studious, exploring astronomy, astrology, and healing. However, she always favored dark powers and malicious intent. Under Merlin’s tutelage, she studied or furthered her knowledge of necromancy, illusions, shapeshifting, charms, enchantments, and hexes. Older good versions of Morgan’s character were far more benevolent, with powers of healing and protection. Malory paints Morgan as a queen among mages and villains, with other nobles seeking Morgan’s help at making other mages and villains fall in line under her authority. Morgan’s primary talent seems to fall into two primary camps: trickery and destructiveness. In older stories, she banks the entirety of her schemes on trickery through charms, illusions, and shapeshifting to mess with people. However, in more modern media, she has grown to favor raw power and destructive shows of force. Morgan is usually considered the greatest enchantress of all time, second only to Merlin in magical power. In some cases, she’s considered more powerful than Merlin, but less skilled than he is.

While modern pop culture makes Morgan out to be Arthur’s nemesis, and the plotting mother of Mordred, she’s actually Mordred’s Aunt by her sister Morgause, and her rivalry is more aimed at Guinevere, which started after she caught Morgan fooling around with Guinevere’s own cousin, Guiomar. Most of her evil schemes involved trying to reveal Lancelot and Guinevere’s adultery to Arthur, though she did also attempt to usurp the throne with her lover, Accolon, and murder her husband, Uriens.

Although Morgan’s mother Igerna might be part fey, possibly even part of the faerie royal family, Gorlois appears to be a normal human. As such, Morgan is a Half-Elf. She’ll get +2 CHA, +1 INT, +1 CON. We’ll give her Deception and Medicine for her free skills of choice, and Sylvan for her free language of choice.

For her background, we’ll make her a Noble for History and Intimidation. She also gets a free language, and we’ll give her Draconic.

Most iterations of Morgan le Fey makes her Chaotic Evil, as even before she becomes Guinevere’s sworn enemy, she rebels against society and defies her father.

WIZARD SCHOOL OF WAR MAGIC

I debated which Wizard school was best for Morgan. In her literary origins, she’s a trickster who mostly messes with people. It wasn’t until the pop culture version of her took center stage that she became more of a magical powerhouse. The School of Illusions is the best choice if you want to play up Morgan’s mythical origins as a trickster more, but ultimately nothing is lost by putting more faith in her War Magic. With this, she’s made for the battlefield, as appropriate for a witch who chose to study magic as a weapon. Evocation was a little alluring for increasing the damage of her spells and also causing her to harm herself while overpowering her spells, which feels very true to Morgan’s nature. However, while modern Morgan is power-hungry enough to be an Evocation wizard, it felt disingenuous with mythical Morgan who is far craftier and smart enough to not study a subclass where she could kill herself. Necromancy is being passed over because while it can be VERY good with its life-sustaining properties and empowered undead, it’s highly situational. Although it can provide Morgan with an army of undead thralls if set up right, I tried a level 20 necromancer against a Tarrasque. All of my undead thralls had mundane weapons, and were useless against the threat. Short of buying magical weapons for the entire army, there’s no way to really make Necromancy useful against high power enemies. If you have the patience and funds however to buy and carry around an army’s worth of magical weapons to arm your thralls with, then the Necromancy Wizard becomes a lot more viable, as a legion of skeletal archers can help Morgan slay a dragon, or any other foe that gets in her way.

BASIC INFORMATION

STATS STR 8 DEX 14 CON 18 INT 20 WIS 12 CHA 14

SAVING THROWS STR -1 DEX +2 CON +4 INT +11 WIS +7 CHA +2

COMBAT INFO HP: 162 AC: 12 Speed: 30 ft Initiative: +7 Darkvision: 60 ft Passive Perception: 11 Spell DC: 19 Spell Attack Mod: +11

SKILLS Arcana (+11) Deception (+8) History (+11) Intimidation (+8) Investigation (+11) Medicine (+7)

LANGUAGES Common Draconic Elvish Sylvan

FEATS Fey Touched +1 INT (Bonus Spells: Misty Step, Hex)

MORGAN LE FEY’S SPELLBOOK

C Fire Bolt, Mage Hand, Mind Sliver, Minor Illusion, Prestidigitation 1 Charm Person, Detect Magic, Disguise Self, False Life, Hex, Silent Image, Shield 2 Blur, Darkness, Earthbind, Invisibility, Mirror Image, Misty Step, Nathair’s Mischief, Phantasmal Force, Silence, Suggestion 3 Animate Dead, Bestow Curse, Counterspell, Dispel Magic, Fireball, Major Image, Summon Undead, Vampiric Touch 4 Blight, Confusion, Dimension Door, Phantasmal Killer, Polymorph 5 Dominate Person, Enervation, Mislead, Modify Memory, Negative Energy Flood, Seeming 6 Create Undead, Disintegrate, Eyebite, Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Flesh to Stone, Mass Suggestion, Mental Prison 7 Finger of Death, Simulacrum 8 Feeblemind 9 Shapechange

FEATURES

REACTION Arcane Deflection: When you’re hit with an attack or fail a saving throw, add +2 AC or +4 Saving Throws. After, can only cast cantrips the following turn.

FEATURES Arcane Recovery: Recover up to 10 spell slots of 5th level or lower on a short rest Deflecting Shroud: When you use your Arcane Deflection, deal 10 Force damage to up to 3 creatures within 60 feet. Durable Magic: +2 AC and Saving Throws while concentrating on a spell Fey Touched: +1 INT. Gain the Misty Step spell and 1 Enchantment or Divination Spell. Each can be cast once without using a spell slot. Further castings require appropriate spell slots. Both are cast with Intelligence. Fey Ancestry: Resist Charms, Immune to magical sleep Power Surge: Add +10 Force Damage to spells by using a power surge. Can hold up to 5 Power Surges at a time. Gain Power Surges by interrupting magic with Counterspell and Dispel Magic. Resets to 1 on a short or long rest. Signature Spells: Cast two 3rd level spells without a spell slot once per short or long rest. Spell Mastery: Choose a 1st and 2nd level spell. These spells can be cast at 1st level without using any spell slots. Tactical Wit: Add your INT mod to your Initiative rolls.

All things considered, Morgan emerges as a rather fearsome battle mage. Admittedly, she would benefit from a maximum Dexterity, but for what we have, she’s pretty well-stocked for battle. If she can get her hands on a Robe of the Archmagi, or a good Barrier Tattoo, it would really help boost her AC. You could also take a 1 level dip into Monk if you’re really desperate, but all you’d get for it is +1 to your AC, so it’s hardly worth it. Still, if you can get her some Rings of Protection or Cloak of Protection, or an Amulet of Health so you can focus her ASI on DEX, it would really help Morgan’s Arcane Deflection spend more time deflecting rather than not. Even though she’s neither a Necromancy or Illusion Wizard, I still stayed true to her character by giving her a wide selection of Necromancy and Illusion spells to stay true to her origins as a dark sorceress. Honestly, her stats are the only thing that I feel don’t live up to the hype, as I built her to be in character and less for power-building. But a few tweaks to the stats to really get good use out of her stats, and give her spell mastery over a concentration spell and/or shield, and her AC will be pretty much permanently better. She may not be the most terrifyingly powerful mage build ever created, but at the very least, she’s a force to be reckoned with, and that’s the real prize we were after. So sally forth and don’t stop until you’ve successfully usurped your bastard half-brother.

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nizzleus · 2 years ago

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HOW THE APOSTLES DIED.

1. Matthew

Suffered martyrdom in Ethiopia, Killed by a sword wound.

2. Mark

Died in Alexandria, Egypt , after being dragged by Horses through the streets until he was dead.

3. Luke

Was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous Preaching to the lost.

4. John

Faced martyrdom when he was boiled in huge Basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution In Rome. However, he was miraculously delivered From death.

5. Peter

He was crucified upside down on an x-shaped cross.

According to church tradition it was because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die In the same way that Jesus Christ had died.

6. James

enemies beat James to death with a fuller's club.

* This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.

7. James the Son of Zebedee,

was a fisherman by trade when Jesus Called him to a lifetime of ministry. As a strong leader of the church, James was beheaded at Jerusalem. The Roman officer who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial. Later, the officer Walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and Knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.

8. Bartholomew

Also known as Nathaniel Was a missionary to Asia. He witnessed for our Lord in present day Turkey. Bartholomew was martyred for his preaching in Armenia where he was flayed to death by a whip.

9. Andrew

10. Thomas

Was stabbed with a spear in India during one of his missionary trips to establish the church in the Sub-continent.

11. Jude

Was killed with arrows when he refused to deny his faith in Christ.

12. Matthias

The apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot, was stoned and then beheaded.

13. Paul

Was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment, which allowed him to write his many epistles to the churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire. These letters, which taught many of the foundational Doctrines of Christianity, form a large portion of the New Testament.

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: But he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

Pass on to encourage other Christians

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anthonycrowleymoved · 4 years ago

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I know this is old discourse but in light of destiel becoming canon, what are your thoughts on neil gaiman not allowing Crowley and Aziraphale to be gay lovers? He said that they're angels, not men, so is that supposed to imply that they're not gay simply cuz they're non-binary (so they're asexual)? I just wanna know if they'e in love or not lol. I ship them so much.

yeah okay this is gonna have to be tagged neil discourse because thinking about this over a year later i’m still mad huh

so like. i know very well what he said at the time. he was basically like, and i’m paraphrasing but that’s because i simply do not care enough to give a direct quote but on twitter he was like ‘oh well angels don’t UNDERSTAND human concepts like GENDER and SEXUAL ATTRACTION so NO they’re NOT GAY’ and then someone was like ‘but they’re in love right?’ and he was like ‘of course.’ right? everyone agrees that’s what happened right after the show aired? and like, okay, i’m not going to begrudge people seeing this as representative of themselves if they’re nb and/or ace, that’s cool and fine, and you do you. i find it interesting that i saw a ton more criticism about it on here than on twitter, but that’s probably just more indicative of who i’m following and how much i’m on here than anything else. anyway.

let’s break this bullshit down and explain piece by piece why i think neil’s quote unquote representation in gomens is a hot garbage fire and why it kind of rubbed me the wrong way from the moment i saw it.

1. he posted it on twitter. he wrote the script and could have like, you know, put it into the show, if them being In Love was like, actually part of the story. he had the ability to do that. gomens was already going to piss off right wing groups because of how it treats religion, this wasn’t something i legitimately think amazon/the beeb would have just said ‘no’ to if neil was serious about it. mean, maybe that’s a bit far into conspiracy territory, but i truly believe if they really wanted to make azcrow canon the one person who could have managed getting a scene would have been the author/showrunner. and because he didn’t if you’re a casual viewer who’s not fucking following his goddamned twitter seeing gay representation is now a rorschach test

‘they don’t adhere to human ways of thinking about gender and sexuality’ MANY THOUGHTS HERE but let’s start with

2. i think hallie originally said this and neil i know you wrote the book but like. did you read the book neil. because i thought one of the main points of it was that aziraphale and crowley had effectively ‘gone native’ and saw themselves more like humans than like celestial beings. and they’d been on earth for all of human history. it’s a bad take i’m sorry i know he literally wrote it but like really. really.

3. look i’m nb and i’d love some nb rep. but that was not nb rep. those were two cis male actors playing (largely) male presenting characters with absolutely no in-text indications that they aren’t cis. there’s one (a few? god it’s been a minute since i watched the show) character referred to by singular ‘they’ and it’s not aziraphale or crowley. and like, look, i get that in real life there’s nb people who don’t go by gender neutral pronouns and that’s cool and fine because that’s what those people feel inside. but, like, this isn’t real life, it’s a tv show, and referring to male presenting characters as he/him and then occasionally putting them in feminine clothing isn’t representation because people who aren’t looking for that kind of representation aren’t going to see it, they’re going to see a joke about a man in a dress

4. and i’m not ace so i can’t speak on that, but i do remember at the time ace people being like ‘that....was not ace rep’ so like, make of that what you will. again, i’m not going to tell you you can’t see them as nb and/or ace, but like, i’m just asking you, was that really representation? like, was it? in your heart like, would you have been happy with that representation if neil didn’t tell you it was representation? because if you’re just starved for content, that’s FINE, you’re ALLOWED, all i’m asking you is to not praise the creator for doing fuck all.

5. ‘of course [they’re in love]’ again where??? where??? where is it neil. where is it in the actual text of the show. like there’s in text evidence that they love each other platonically and there’s lots of jokes made by other characters but like. i hate to say that but that’s it. i don’t know why this off the cusp response still makes my blood boil but boy does it

6. i don’t want to go looking for it because i’ve done that like six times but there’s a post on neil’s tumblr from before the show dropped about how there would be moments that people who ship it would be happy with but it wouldn’t become canon. you can look it up i swear he said that in like....december of 2018ish? something like that. which, again, is fine on its own, but combined with the fact that after he was like ‘lmao that’s what i was going for’......not my favorite look

what i’m saying is like, if he wanted to create an actual queer narrative he could have but he just like, chose not to and then when he realized he could have people watching his show just because they’re thirsty for representation that isn’t there i think he went ‘oh i’ll jk rowling this’ i don’t KNOW that that’s what happened but, like, that’s what it looks like to me.

i used to regularly refer to the “representation” in gomens as nu-queerbaiting, which i still like as a term, because to me it’s the person in charge (not the actors, usually, unless they have some say in the writing process) going, oh no they’re totally in love with each other totally trust me :) and then like, they’re not, not really, not to the people who like, watch the show but don’t fucking follow the author on twitter. and that’s. i’m sorry, that’s not canon to me.

and, to be honest, how this is presented honestly makes me more angry than if it was just maybe in-universe wink wink nudge nudge, because i’m USED to queerbaiting and i know that like, almost nothing ever ever ever comes of it and i get it and i like having fun anyways, so i deal. and like, i was a book fan before the show came out. the book was written in the late 80s, and i knew that it wasn’t going to be anywhere near as gay as the fandom has made that work for thirty goddamned years, and i was fine with that. like, going into it, i joked, but it was fine because it was a relatively faithful adaption of a book i like. i wasn’t looking for gay representation, even though i ship aziraphale and crowley.

but like, there was this wave of people who came looking for representation, and the show is so vague on that concept that they saw it, but it’s like. it’s not actually really there. there’s no one saying ‘yes they’re really irl in love.’ there’s two male-presenting characters who COULD be in love, if you choose to view it like that, but maybe aren’t. and like, that’s FINE, on it’s own, but i hate that someone in a position of power said ‘no you’re right lmao’ even though he didn’t do shit. it was made in 2019. queer representation should be better than that. i’m not patting neil on the back for doing literally nothing.

so like, tldr: yeah the rep is bad in my opinion!!! it’s not good!!!! i don’t like how neil handled it and it’s gross!!!! i hope this answers your question!!!!

anyway that being said azcrow is such a good ship anyway, so like, why does it matter if they’re canon? ship em anyways no one can stop me from doing it even though how it was handled by the actual creator is a garbage fire when you look at it for more than like, thirty seconds. like......why must a ship be ‘canon’? is it not enough to read a book and see two celestial beings, in love with humanity?

#neil if you're searching your name again and see this no you didn't #neil discourse #go #go tv #nonny mouse #inquiries

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about-faces · 4 years ago

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The director Joel Schumacher has passed away, and everyone's reactions have boiled down to two topics: 1.) "He was the guy who made the bad Batman films," and 2.) "Hey, he did lots of great films besides the bad Batman films!"

Thing is... I get it. I remember being a teenage comic fan in the 90's. Not just any comics: especially Batman! But ESPECIALLY Bart especially Two-Face. I remember how "Joel Schumacher" was a name that could invoke white-hot rage in myself and everyone in the fandom. He was our modern equivalent of Dr. Fredrick Wertham, the boogyman who had (far as we were concerned) single-handedly destroyed the mainstream credibility of superheroes.

Look at that picture, and try to imagine that this was the face so loathed and mocked by Batman fanboys in the 90′s.

Never mind that Schumacher didn't WRITE the Batman films. The main credit for that goes to Akiva Goldsman, who has gone on to win an Oscar and continues to find A-list success despite ruining other geek properties like Jonah Hex and Dark Tower. Never mind that Schumacher was at the mercy of producers who wanted the movies to be nothing more than merchandise machines and toy commercials. No, Schumacher was the only name associated with the films, and he was cast at the villain.

The fact that he was openly gay played no small part in making him an easy target.

One year after the disastrous release of the infamous Batman & Robin, the beloved fan-favorite cartoon Batman: The Animated Series (then rebranded as The New Batman Adventures on the WB network) produced an episode that featured a pointed jab at Schumacher. The episode was titled "Legends of the Dark Knight," a reworking of a classic 70's Batman tale where a group of kids share their own ideas of what the mysterious Batman is really like.

Halfway through the episode, the kids are overheard by another kid, who shares his own ideas about Batman. The kid, whose name is Joel, has long dirty-blond hair, and works in front of a store which bear the sign "Shoemaker," despite clearly being a department store. He waxes dreamily about the reasons he loves Batman: "All those muscles, the tight rubber armor and that flashy car. I heard it can drive up walls!"

This last line--a reference to a silly bit in Batman Forever--he says as he flamboyantly tosses a pink fur stole around his neck. To drive home the joke, one of the kids dismisses, "Yeah, sure, Joel."

At the time, it seemed like a cathartic joke for us REAL Batman fans. Now, it's clearly just cheap and gross. Instead of any actual criticism about the films, Joel Schumacher was just seen--even if just subconsciously--as the fruit who ruined Batman.

Over time, the hatred for Schumacher lessened. Starting with Blade, X-Men, and Spider-Man, on through to Batman Begins, Iron Man, and onward, superhero movies became huge mainstream successes, with greater fidelity to the source material than most adaptations we saw up to the time that Schumacher "killed" the superhero movie. There was no point in hating him anymore, if there ever was (again, Goldsman more deserves that ire, if you're gonna be angry about anyone. Why does he still get work?! WHY IS HE NOW WRITING FOR STAR TREK?!?!).

But even still, especially among Millennial and Gen-X fans, Schumacher is still--at best--considered a low point for fandom. Even though the same generations have come to appreciate and love some of his other films, such as The Lost Boys, Phone Booth, and the chillingly-prescient Falling Down, there's still this need for people to dismiss the Batman films as embarrassments that are best forgotten in favor of Schumacher's better films. And if they're to be remembered at all, it's to trash them all over again in a tone suggesting that the films are objectively, irredeemably bad.

Except they're not. Oh sure, if you go in looking for a grim and gritty capital-M "Mature" take on Batman, of course you'll hate them, just like you probably also hate the Adam West Batman show. Remember, that show also used to be hated by decades of Batman fans because of how it didn't take the comics seriously.

... except it did. The show was VERY faithful to the Batman comics of the 50's, which often out-weirded and out-sillied its TV counterpart. If anything, the show made some of those stories even more entertaining with camp value and jokes that added different levels of enjoyment to the adults watching. Comic fans resented how Batman became a pop culture joke, and increasingly fought against anything that was colorful and campy (which makes me wonder if this might also be related to latent homophobia). Whether or not they admitted/realized it, the Batman fans of the 70's and 80's carried a chip on their shoulder about a show that DARED to make Batman FUN.

And really... how is that any different than Schumacher's two films?

You don't have to agree, but I think Schumacher's films are fun. I think Batman Forever is highly entertaining, that Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey are bringing their hammy A-games as much respected actors like Burgess Meredith and Caesar Romero brought to their roles. Same goes for Arnold and especially Uma in Batman and Robin. They KNOW what movies they're in, and they're all having a blast.

(How many of us remember the exact line Eddie says at this moment? I bet you probably do too, which should tell you something about how memorable this movie is)

Now, BF and particularly B&A are by no means GOOD movies, but you can't tell me that you couldn't have a blast putting the latter on at a party and riffing it with friends. It's not a pretentious, ponderous, self-serious slog like, say, the shit Zack Snyder cranked out (apologies to the one or two cool Snyder fans here, I just find his films interminable). Even besides the many things I could say to defend Schumacher's Batman films (that's a whole other essay), you can't say they were boring. They were entertaining, even if on a level of making fun of the film, and that is NOT as easy as it looks.

Let me put it to you this way: Batman Forever has, objectively, one of the worst takes on Two-Face I've ever seen. He's one-note, he's kind of a rehash of Nicholson's Joker, he gets completely overshadowed by the Riddler, he gets killed by Batman in a way that completely betrays the whole “DON’T KILL HARVEY” arc with Robin, and worst of all, he CHEATS on the coin toss. That alone would be enough for me to condemn this depiction in any other Two-Face story.

And yet, even I--the most passionate, opinionated, and picky Two-Face fan you will EVER know--still have a soft spot for Tommy Lee Jones' take on ol' Harv. He’s just too fun, too flamboyant, too damn extra not to love. If only all bad takes on Two-Face could be this fun!

But that’s the thing: it’s not because the script was good. Oh god no. I've read the script, and if it were put on the page like a comic, I would have hated it just like any other bad Two-Face comic. I have to imagine that, as director, Joel Schumacher deserves the bulk of the credit for pushing the restrained and laconic Tommy Lee Jones into that oversized performance, and making it a delight to watch despite everything it does wrong.

I'm rare for my generation to have learned how to stop worrying and love Schumacher's Batman. But the younger generation, the up-and-coming Gen-Zs getting into Batman, don't share the same grudges we did. There's a genuine, shame-free enjoyment of those films among The Kids, many of whom are LGBTQA+, who love the jokes, the silliness, the camp, the Freeze puns, the swag of Uma Thurman, and the homoerotic subtext between Two-Face and the Riddler. Maybe it's just a reaction to so much GRIM, SERIOUS shit that DC and their fanboys are trying desperately to push even today.

But comics--especially Batman--have a long history of colorful, stupid, fun shit. Schumacher's films carried on in that tradition, and they should be appreciated on their own merits by those of us who aren't limited by narrow ideas of what Batman "should" be, and who still remember how to have fun.

Schumacher's Batman films should no longer be seen as embarrassments. They didn't ruin superheroes. They didn't ruin Batman. They didn't even ruin Two-Face. Nor should they be disregarded in favor of Falling Down, like losers in a respectability competition. They're fun. They're entertaining. And they didn't pretend to be anything else.

And if you still think they're bad... I mean, objectively, you're not wrong! But be mindful of the reasons WHY you think they're bad, because on another subjective level, you may not be right either. And it's certainly not worth holding a geek-grudge over after twenty-five years.

#batman forever #batman ampersand robin #long post #homophobia #slur

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daniclaytcn · 3 years ago

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Hey, i love your blog and reading your thoughts on all things Buddie and there’s something i would love to have your input on. I don’t know if you saw posts like this, too, but there is an ongoing trend of people stating that there are two ways the show can go on with this, and that’s 1) keep on developing Buck and Eddie’s relationship (essentially leading to them becoming canon) or 2) untangle and distance them from each other and build up other love interests as the most important person in their life, leaving their friendship to be only referred to and rarely shown. And while i absolutely get where they are coming from and have seen mainstream tv taking that second path many times (don’t expect it from 911 though, i have faith in those writers)i think it’s simply not true that these are the only ways to write Buck and Eddie’s relationship going forward.

It absolutely is possible to keep their relationship as it is and still write different love interests for them. There will be less scenes with them together and I sure won’t fucking like it, but there is no need to have them become less important to each other. I hate that so many people seem to be not only of the impression that the most important person in someone’s life always HAS to be the romantic partner, but also that this place can’t be shared with someone else, like a best friend or some other platonically beloved person. I hate that people seem to be convinced that this is some kind of popularity contest that the love interest wins by default and that getting in a relationship with someone automatically makes your bond with others less important, automatically makes you invest less in those relationships. Not saying that that can’t happen, it sadly does quite often, but in 98% of those cases it’s because of a severe lack of trying from one party. It’s truly not in the nature of friendships that they deteriorate when not the sole focus of a person, you just have to be willing to put a little work in.

Anyway, rant over, would love to hear your thoughts on that matter.

hi, nonnie! first off, i'm so glad you like my blog and want my input on this! i do have a lot of thoughts on this, so here we go!

i have seen these takes going around, and while i don't necessarily disagree with them, i do agree with what you're saying. i don't know if buddie will go canon, but even if they don't, i highly doubt the show will shove their relationship to the side to prop up their new love interests. because look. the show has had every—and i mean every opportunity to take a step back from them since s2. they could've kept them at the place they were in the s2 finale, cute and shippable but not necessarily something fans would get invested in. they did not have to go as hard as they did with the tsunami and lawsuit arc. they didn't have to take every opportunity possible to cement them in each others' lives. these were all conscious choices, and this relationship is clearly too important to the writers to throw away just because both of them have new love interests. putting the rest under a cut:

onto your main point, while i don't really care for buddie staying platonic since they don't behave like other platonic relationships on the show and we have enough of that in media already, if they were to stay completely platonic, i don't see their relationship being diminished or undervalued by the writers and idk why people think that. it's like you said, just because you enter into a romantic relationship with someone else, doesn't mean your friends become less important. platonic love is only a different sort of love, not a lesser form. the writers have put way too much work into developing the buckley-diaz family unit, at the expense of buck and eddie's respective love interests, for them to suddenly sideline them completely in s5, regardless of whether they stay platonic or not. eddie was dating ana for about half a season and his relationship with buck never wavered, it only got stronger even. a bunch of the big buckxtaylor moments were overshadowed by buddie completely. whether you want to read buddie as platonic or not, their relationship with each other isn't gonna become any less important just because they have different love interests (who are side characters to boot, and won't even get as much screentime as either of them do. and this is assuming ana even shows up next season.)

It’s truly not in the nature of friendships that they deteriorate when not the sole focus of a person, you just have to be willing to put a little work in. this is so true, and in buck and eddie's case, both of them have always put a lot of hard work into their relationship and fought for it, in one way or the other. it hasn't been all sunshine and roses (contrast that to eddie's it's easy being with her in reference to ana). they're definitely not gonna forget about each other just because they're dating other people, especially in light of the finale.

i think a lot of this thinking ultimately boils down to heteronormativity. people are quick to assume that the m/f ship will automatically 'win' and receive better treatment than the bond between these two men, whether these people are buddie shippers or antis. people were (and still are) so hesitant to refer to buck, eddie and chris as a familial unit, but instantly jumped on the bandwagon after a couple of cute scenes with eddie, ana and chris. and i'm not trying to dunk on anybody—everybody is entitled to their own opinion and i respect that—it's just that its very telling that two men can go through so much together, form an unbreakable bond over three whole seasons, be completely devoted to each other, form a sort of a family unit along with one of their's son, have the other one who's not a parent yet even so fill in a parental sort of role, and people will still insist that seeing anything more is delusional, while automatically accepting that two women who have been on the show for about 6 episodes are gonna be there indefinitely and that the m/f ships are definitely endgame, and the bond between these two men will be sidelined in favor of that. it's all a very black and white sort of thinking, people need to understand that the story is deeper than that.

thank you for sharing your thoughts, nonnie!

#buddie #otp: you two have an adorable son #neethu answers

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gstqaobc · 4 years ago

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Our dear Queen: never alone THE MONARCHIST LEAGUE OF CANADA 🍁🇨🇦

FOR TOMORROW, OUR QUEEN'S ACTUAL BIRTHDAY,,,We invite members to respond by return email by completing one of the following sentences in no more than 25 words of which we will publish an assortment of the most interesting tomorrow. You never know what might happen if yours is judged best. NB: this challenge is not the place to express condolences to The Queen or refer to her recent loss, which we each will do in our own way, with a full heart and no interest in publicity or reward. 1) I find The Queen's most endearing trait to be... 2) If I could ask HM one question, it would be... 3) If I were asked to give one piece of loyal advice to our Sovereign, I would say... LEAGUE POETRY COMPETITION ON THE NINETY-FIFTH BIRTHDAY OF THE QUEEN THREE WINNING POEMSWe were surprised and delighted by the number of entries in this first poetry competition of the League. But then, given its subject, perhaps we should not have been taken aback. The sentiments were universally heartfelt and the loyalty clear. We are therefore awarding three prizes. Two were written in English and one in French: naturally, we are not translating them! The first is a subtle evocation of The Queen’s sense of duty and her love of horses - the poet’s reference to giving up riding was of course an allusion to HM’s ceasing to ride at Trooping the Colour - she enjoys riding as relaxation to this day! The second is true to the spirit of Holst’s stirring melody, known to many as “I Vow to Thee, My Country.” And the third, the winner, explores HM’s Realms whimsically with a touch of gravity by means of their national foods. The poems could not be more different - which is as it should be. Our thanks to all who entered the competition! SECOND PRIZE TIED by Tom MacGregor, Ottawa ON QUEEN ELIZABETH’S 95th BIRTHDAY On her ninety-fifth birthday, I think of the Statue on Parliament Hill Of her confidently seated On a horse named Centennial Given to her by The Royal Canadian Mounted Police. The small woman unveiled it In 1991 after she had given up riding. Still, she carried on More than 60 years as Queen And 95 of service. FIRST PRIZE by an anonymous member who is donating the value of the prize to supply a food treat to the homeless today in honour of The Queen’s birthday QUEEN OF THE SIXTEEN REALMS On the 95th birthday of Elizabeth II PROLOGUE Elizabeth, to your Realms grandmother, sister, friend and Queen: How can we embrace you, and today let you know That we would your sorrow share, wish you could lean On our sixteen hearts, like the drums, beating slow. We look back as you must on Philip’s decades: Your strength and stay during storm and fair days. We gaze also to our future wish: grief ‘midst memories fades To joy of life full-lived, walked on the fields of praise. So follows our birthday wish, from Realms richly diverse, Who now tune their heart-strings to the happier times Which will follow, dear Ma’am, as sure as sunrise: A great truth of life, which we need not more rehearse, But, rather, assure you: north, west, east, southern climes Gather round to uphold you, dear Queen - loving and wise! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elizabeth, our Queen and friend, the nations’ joy and pride, Her 95th today is hailed through Realms both far and wide; And since all share in most fond wish to serve special birthday treat - These lines some local fare suggest - loyal banquet so replete! In ANTIGUA AND BARBUDA, small islands to be sure, But big in heart and loyalty - FUNGIE ‘tis special allure: Polenta-based and spicy hot, with pepperpot ‘tis served, A treat for their beloved Queen, one surely well deserved! Down Under, AUSTRALIAN mates present their VEGEMITE: This brewers’ yeast extract not yet the world’s delight! But served on toast throughout the land, a tribute singular - quite - Antipodean Queen finds on Aussie plate a most distinct delight. THE BAHAMAS offers special dish: folk there pluck CONCH from sea: And dressed with lime and vegetables - ‘tis rich in Vitamin C! Bahamian Sovereign will enjoy devouring “Queen Conch” recipe, Dressed with fruit, offered with love and Island loyalty BARBADOS, amidst disloyal dance, bakes up its famed RUM CAKE On which Monarch’s pain at such dalliance might well her sweet tooth slake; Since toothsome confection is topped up with frequent rum infusion: EIIR hopes (though’d never say) “Drink deep: to republican confusion!” BELIZE proffers its BOIL UP, reminiscent of the pie in rhyme: No blackbirds for its Queen today, but fish, eggs, veggies: good time! Tis topped with broth and dough, then baked - a treat fit for a princess, The Central American domain diverse could offer her no less! CANADA may indeed be home to most loyal Maple Throne: Thus on this day POUTINE shall stand in prominence, alone: Like the Dominion, flavours many, with toppings beyond measure - As each in own way toasts our Queen, the True North’s splendid treasure! GRENADA’s OIL DOWN, savoury-sweet, a one pot dish of stew, With coconut leaching flavours out to make each casserole new To taste - and variegated ever for all this island nation. Which prospers under Reign of she whose birthday brings elation! Next in our roll of Realms, JAMAICA, island, of many peoples, blest To keep cool ‘neath tropical sun with ACKEE AND SALTFISH zest: Its spices mirror nation’s mix, from planters to Bobsled team; And dread-locked Rasta men, who share deepest love of Queen. PAVLOVA is NEW ZEALAND’s gift to the arts culinary, Its Kiwi, cream, meringue mix cherished by settlers as by Maori; Whether Hobbits share such taste, brave Frodo first and foremost, We know not - but all in the island realm drink to EIIR a toast! If MUMU you were offered while exploring PAPUA NEW GUINEA shore, Polyglot island lines hot coals with leaves - adds meats, fruit, veg and more, To make a stew from ground oven of savour nonpareil, Thus honouring their Queen and friend with two Hemispheres’ “hooray.” SAINT KITTS AND NEVIS to birthday brings STEWED SALTFISH, which they blend With coconut dumplings and plantains for feasting without end, As no close they ever sight in good Queen’s service to tiniest sovereign state In Hemisphere - large they be in duty, love - thus this day they fete! SAINT LUCIA pairs fish and fig, GREEN FIG AND SALTED COD! Antilles population takes a week to give the nod To stew that melds, as island does two seas, Atlantic and Caribbean, And mix a Bounty cocktail to raise their glass to Queen! A BREADFRUIT ROASTED in iron pot, add fried jackfish for great repast, Is SAINT VINCENT & THE GRENADINES’ entrée, not easily surpassed: Its thirty-two islands celebrate their Monarch’s special day, Sing “...Land, so Beautiful” to big drum, calypso, steel pan and reggae! Now Taro roots make sticky POI, SOLOMON ISLANDS’ favorite food, The wise old King lends his name to 900-strong island brood; Thus Melanesian Queen presides, with Governor-General elected: Their birthday bouquet beauteous, as from 200 orchid strains selected! TUVALU brings to feast PULAKA, swamp taro cooked for hours: Raising ocean discourages cultivation - ‘tis time for Commonwealth powers To use their world wide fellowship to save this crop essential: Their Queen fears global warming looms, Polynesian threat potential. The UNITED KINGDOM is Elizabeth’s home, of sixteen Realms The Queen: No longer a colonial power, but from Empire’s legacy yet seen: Its “national dish” CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA now claims pride of place, Transcending old-style differences of climate, Raj and race! ~! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ EPILOGUESo, all hail, dear Queen, gracious Lady: your true realms lie deep within, Not geographic, to be sure, but values kingly. gracious, human; Constant Commonwealth care for its nations great and small, Reflects deep-reciprocal, hailed to your heart, one voice echoed by all! So here’s to Elizabeth - long may she reign, long live our monarch so great! Here’s to her courage in fair weather or foul, duty done, chosen not - happy fate! Here’s to the faith ever kept, beyond clamour of sectarian creeds; Here’s to the hope she brings all, so nourishing humankind’s needs; Here’s to her ninety-fifth birthday, her years’ gift to us, thus today we proclaim:God willing, all your Realms do their duty And each subject in turn do the same!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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