#isn’t the mind incredible
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karkat kinnie arc 2 and dreamworks trolls obsession were not on my card for this year i didn’t see this coming man fucking god damn it
#any of you who follow my tumblr know the depths of how much of a fucking cringelord idiot nerd i am it’s so terrible#i think i get misread as a down to earth folk musician who is aloof and cool and whimsical#man im a fucking freak have you ever seen me without this stupid hat#maybe i don’t get read as whimsical#i dont know what’s obvious#i know in some alternate timeline my characters are real and im friends with them#isn’t the mind incredible#hope you’re all well xoxo
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I think one of the most interesting ways to write Steve’s parents (or his mom, at least) is as a deeply flawed person with good intentions.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a fic where they’re just bad people. Sometimes that’s all you need for a good story and this is not a criticism of anybody’s interpretation.
My personal preference in writing his parents is as people who are trying to be good parents.
Like, im currently messing around with this AU concept where Steve has a really complicated family dynamic. In it, he has bad parents. His mother made a choice to follow her husband because she thinks it’s the only way to preserve her marriage and thus preserve a good life for her son. It’s not malicious neglect but it is neglect. She’s trying to do the right thing but she’s making the wrong decisions. In the end, she’s still hurting her child.
A couple years ago I wrote this fic about Steve spiraling into a severe depression and his parents are trying to help him. They just don’t listen. They don’t understand what he’s dealing with and they make the wrong choices when trying to help him. Everybody that tries to help him makes the wrong choices, but with the best of intentions. Steve says repeatedly throughout the fic that it’s not his parents fault they don’t know how to be parents.
It’s really fun to write and it’s really cathartic if your relationship with your parents isn’t easy.
#I’m very lucky to have great parents but I don’t have parents who really understand me#so you know…✨inspiration✨#I also have an unfinished companion piece to a fic where Steve is dying#and in the foc Steve talks about his dad going out of town while his son is actively dying#he mentions that his dad had watched both his parents die slow deaths and implies that his parents are killing his in their minds to#make it easier when he actually dies. which isn’t a good to do but it is an incredible hard situation to be in#people don’t make the right choices all the time and I think it’s an interesting place to explore in your writing#again this isn’t like a diss at people who write them as like evil#I do that too. there’s not a lot of depth to his parents in the tiktok saga#steve harrington
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tim rejecting kon as robin because he believes kon already rejected tim and so would be disappointed once he finds out....this is the worst ending yet...i love it....
(this scenario) listen, tim is so smart and strategic and logical and also (especially post-breakup/misunderstanding) would plan for every single outcome except the one where he is actually wanted
#like without clearing the air tim is now operating under the assumption that kon does not want tim drake#and unfortunately tim for all his aliases is also. at the end of the day. tim drake#like from his perspective there were no…how to put this…extenuating circumstances#like to tim things were incredibly easy and he hadn’t even asked anything of kon as tim; they kissed and hung out#sure kon had saved tim before but never in a way that seriously stressed or even inconvenienced kon#and tim is still learning not to see himself as Too Much#so when (to his understanding) kon decides he isn’t interested in tim before anything bad even happened#before tim ever even asked for anything or did anything obviously wrong or caused any real problems#then tim takes that to mean: the thing that is wrong is just fundamentally tim himself#there’s nothing he can do to course correct or change that#so of course in a scenario where kon asks robin out (before knowing robin is tim) tim will—in his mind—spare them both#(this is obviously not how it shakes out in the fic but it has been fun to imagine)#(and by fun i mean pangy 🫡)#asks#my fic
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nuclear fusion can also be a metaphor for “star-crossed” lovers. if you think about it.
two protons, repelled by each other’s electrical barriers, can only ever touch under conditions of extreme heat (I’m talking 15 million degrees Celsius i.e. inside the Sun’s core) which cause them to accelerate to speeds enormous enough to overcome that repelling force which grows exponentially as the distance between the protons decreases, and only then, if they manage to get close enough, will quantum mechanics kick in and allow the protons to tunnel through each other’s repulsive electrical barriers as if by magic, and finally unite.
#and don’t even get me started on the proton-proton chain and the energy they release being the source of a star’s (and our own suns’s light#and by extension a pillar of our entire existence#we are feeling very nerdy on this fine autumn morning#don’t mind me romanticizing particle physics#is this what they meant when they said romanticize the mundane#it’s mundane in the sense that it happens all the time but not in the sense that it isn’t incredibly fascinating#ro speaks#nuclear fusion#star crossed lovers#quantum mechanics
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thinking about a no upside down au steddie fic where steve and eddie run into each other years after moving away from hawkins, and eddie remembers steve and his fall from grace as king, and is kind of intrigued to see what kind of person he is now
and steve doesn’t remember him at all at first, because, look, eddie changed his hair again, and steve’s had a few head injuries (no upside down but i imagine he still went thru some shit with the party and with robin), and he didn’t really think about eddie in high school anyway, and he’s trying to forget about hawkins as much as possible (besides the kiddos, but they’re all moved out for college now, anyway) (obviously he lives with robin)
but steve is different now, happier, more open, flirts with guys, flirts with EDDIE, and eddie….. well, he wants to know more! and he tells steve he knows him from hawkins, and steve’s sunny little smile flickers a little, but he just apologizes for not remembering him and mentions he has some memory problems
and they get to know each other, and eventually as eddie tells him more (and maybe with the help of some yearbooks) steve remembers eddie. and. well. they like getting to know each other. and they like each other. and then they get together
eventually they’ve been together for a while, and eddie thinks he wants to maybe introduce steve to wayne, and he mentions he’s going to go back to hawkins for a long weekend (as he’s done a couple times) and this time he’d like steve to join him
and again steve’s sunny smile flickers a bit, but he says he’d love to meet eddie’s uncle, and… they go to hawkins. and it goes well— meeting wayne, at least, but steve seems a little on edge the whole time they’re there, tense when they drive in, fidgety when they go to the grocery store, et cetera. eddie thinks maybe steve is nervous about staying with the man who raised eddie, which is ridiculous, because wayne LOVES steve.
it’s not til they leave the town altogether that steve relaxes, and eddie realizes it wasn’t “meeting the parents” but rather going back to hawkins. and speaking of meeting the parents, steve didn’t ever bring his own up, even though eddie knew they still lived in hawkins. and the way steve glanced around whenever they went in public, like he was scared of getting recognized
and he asks about it, and steve doesn’t really want to talk about it, but he gives eddie snippets of it. people he wanted to leave behind in hawkins, memories that resurfaced, things he wants to forget
eddie goes back to see wayne sometimes, and the first time he doesn’t know whether to ask steve to come, so he just mentions he’s thinking about going to hawkins for some weekend and steve immediately starts making plans with him as if the invite is implicit. they go back to hawkins several more times, steve still tense and pent up the whole time they’re there
over time steve reveals more and more to eddie. everything that made hawkins hell for him, from the things he himself did in high school to the things people did to him. stuff tommy and carol and billy said to him. some of it is just typical high school bullshit (and oh, the nancy thing.) some of it is the tragedies steve went through, the horrors he had to protect his kids from. the injuries he sustained. more generally the homophobia that permeated the whole town, keeping steve from being himself. the lack of support in the indiana public school system for a high school senior who’s had two concussions and gone through incredible trauma.
his parents. the reason why steve’s mail is addressed to ‘steve buckley’ now, not ‘steve harrington’.
(that doesn’t come out until much, much later, and eddie is kicking himself for ever suggesting steve come back to hawkins.)
eddie, who hardly had an easy time of it in hawkins, is absolutely blown away by what steve had gone through in the same town, right under his nose. the entire persona that steve was trying to leave behind — the cool as a cucumber, unaffected, douchey mask he wore to hide all that he had endured. the head injuries. the emotional tragedies he had gone through. the way he had to be the rock for the kids even as he went through the same things as them.
he tries to tell steve they never have to go back to hawkins again, and steve is having none of it. he tells steve wayne can come visit them in their new city, and steve thinks that’s completely unfair to the man who had raised eddie, seriously, you’re going to make him come all the way up here?
and well i don’t know exactly what the ending is but steve is so stubborn about trying to love hawkins because it was eddie’s home and he wants to be able to go see wayne because wayne deserves to see his kid and eddie deserves to see his uncle and steve doesn’t want to be the problem :(
#steddie#stranger things#this isn’t very fleshed out but just. hawkins as an incredibly scarring place for steve#something built up in his mind as a very dangerous place for him not just because of what happened there but who he had to be there#i think ultimately it would culminate in them going back to hawkins and running into steve’s parents when they least expect it#and steve gets to yell at them in public and tell them they suck and ruin their image and eddie is being his little guard dog next to him#baring his teeth#for the no upside down part of the au i think it would have to be like. nebulous tragedy of season 1 struck them#barb still died (sorry barb) so that his relationship with nancy falls apart. will and el are twins and they disappear the same night#steve knows the kids earlier in the timeline in this one and has already basically adopted them when will and el go missing#eddie was never the victim of a massive witch hunt but jason still harasses him during his third senior year and gets ppl to gang up on him#so he was never like Wanted by all of hawkins and can never return but he sure doesn’t feel welcome there besides w wayne#oh i also think it would be important that one of the trips steve snaps at eddie bc he’s so strung out and immediately regrets it#and takes it as proof that when in hawkins Steve Is A Bad Person and tries to explain this to eddie#eddie meanwhile is trying to convince steve that he’s not a bad person and that he was being mean because he’s completely stressed out#and he wouldn’t be so stressed out if he didn’t make himself come back to hawkins#anyway ultimately. steve realized hawkins is just a place where bad things happened. it is not a place that makes people (including himself)#bad. it’s just. a place. and steve did not grow and change for the better bc he got out of hawkins. he got better bc he put the effort in#god i just. love steve so much and the version of him in my mind is so much better developed than what the duffers are doing
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I do think people overestimate how mad Fearne is going to be about Orym’s deal. He’s moving in with Nana forever? She loves her Nana! She’s always intended to go back to the Feywild, maybe this moves her schedule up a little… maybe he’s a little further than she’d like, but Nana would never hurt someone Fearne loves. Now she just has to maneuver everyone else in her treasure box of friends back with her and Orym.
#critical role spoilers#bells hells#Everyone Moves In With Fearne In Nana Morri’s Pool House#is incredibly plausible as their ending#the Titan tots are a boon in wartime but you know as soon as the bloody bridge is wrapped up#the tal’dorei council is going to have some conversations about how metaphysically safe#having two unstable harbringers of destruction on their plane is#‘put the Delilah vessel a whole semi plane away’#isn’t going to solve Percy’s anxiety but might ameliorate it a little#if chetney doesn’t beef it the feywild is his best bet for a happy ending that last >a few months#I’m not sure Ashton’s going to be mad either he’s also a nana#fan and well aware of how tactical leadership works#staying forever with a cool grandma is one of the less bad deals in his mind because he doesn’t have that bias towards bio family#though if prompted he’d probably recognize it sucks from orym’s perspective
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*staring at the stalking post in my drafts*
hm… this could be problematic.
#lemon talks#pls keep in mind that obviously i wrote the post with cool funky consensual intentions#stalking is very clearly not okay and can genuinely ruin people’s lives#HOWEVER#i would be lying if I said in a purely fantastical way#that the *idea* of being stalked isn’t incredibly hot#like okay you just wanna be obsessed with me?#be possessive of me?#a little fucked up about me?#yeah i can get behind that#nsft#nsft mlm#nsft ftm#mlm#ftm#nsft t4t#t4t#ftm nsft#ftm t4t#mlm t4t#ftm top#ftm cnc#nsft cnc#t4t cnc#cnc stalking#stalking fantasy
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like if therapy and meds help you that’s so cool but it drives me insane how people treat those as some magical cure all that EVERYONE needs to seek out even though the psych industry is fucked and biased and not affordable and if trying to find a good therapist or find the right meds is doing nothing but causing you even more stress and anxiety even after you’ve been trying to get help for years than maybe it’s not worth it at that point
#do people just like forget that every med has a shit load of potential side affects??#that can make your mental health and even physical health WORSE??#like no one in my family has actually had meds work for them#they just kind of. didn’t do anything for me and my#brother is cursed with getting the Bad side effects of any medication he takes#so like#and when you have mental health conditions that entail#having an incredibly difficult time opening up emotionally or even talking about vulnerable topics#what’s the fucking point#I’d go thousands of dollars into debt before a therapist would ever get me to open up#and that’s IF I was lucky enough to find one that worked for me#also no psych is gonna solve the housing and economy crisis lol#they can’t do anything for me being depressed cause I’m stuck living in a tiny apartment crammed with other people!#even therapists and psychs have straight up told me I don’t seem to benefit from their services#idk just like. if you see that a mentally ill person isn’t on therapy or on meds by choice#consider there’s a reason for that and mind your own fucking business lol
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watching hsr twt say the xianzhou goes around purging peaceful planets and murdering inhabitants for following yaoshi is insane to me actually. once again. are we playing the same game?
#I’m going to sound like a boomer here but stay with me#I’ve also noticed a lot of these takes come from like#16-19 year olds and not to say that idiocy is not unique to age#because it’s truly not I’ve seen it from people even older than I am#but I truly have to wonder where this lack of media literacy comes from#is it schooling? is it just a generational thing#because I genuinely do not understand these takes#and trust I’ve seen a lot of young folks with really profound and interesting thoughts on the game#that would’ve never crossed my mind! and I love it#the critical thinking is incredible#but some of these?????#like some of them are actually harmful#ie the Sunday eugenics take#idk dude#I imagine it’s because they’re more vocal or something but I’m just#media illiteracy applies to all age groups ofc#especially with hsr apparently#like we can’t have rich backstories without someone being dumb#once again this isn’t isolated to that age group#it’s just something I have seen#♡ out of character.
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Another comment from The Witcher fandom which I’ve seen here that I dislike is people snarking about how the show abandoned Geralt’s autistic representation. Some said in season two and others said season three? I get the person posting may be autistic, but FYI even autistic people, certainly those over a hundred years old, contain multitudes lol. People can not talk for a long time and be perfectly capable of talking depending on the situation—even articulately. It doesn’t mean all non speaking people are that way at all, obviously.
We see Geralt not talk to too many over the years (though we only see snippets of his life, not every waking second). He’s not a big fan of large crowds or Jaskier and those who don’t stop talking. He speaks to Yennefer and a few others fairly “normally” (in contrast to people who say he only speaks like regular normal dude in season 2 / 3). He and Ciri don’t talk much, but being around her so often, he talks (to a human) more than usual. (He of course has talked to his horses plenty.) Even if he still grunts.
In season three he continues to be somewhat taciturn, though obviously speaks more to Yen and Ciri, in spite of trying to ignore Yen. (Thus… still speaking less than usual.) He still has no interest in large groups, bluntly dismissing everyone he encounters at the ball. He does give a few speeches—but he’s been capable of that for a while, it’s just they were usually a bit more acerbic.
Anyway, just not a fan of seeing almost non stop narrow mindedness from The Witcher fandom, which again stuns me since I thought the show at least was about alterity. And difference. As opposed to “if you don’t fit my stereotypes exactly, you deserve to have bad things happen and are objectively a horrible writer.” Which I’ve repeatedly seen posed as legit criticism.
So yeah there’s my take on autistic Geralt and how not all autistic people are identical or static. I know dunking on the show might feel necessary or good, because it seems like mocking it is almost a requirement when mentioning The Witcher (yes the Netflix version). But you really don’t have to, especially if what you’re saying isn’t true or makes no sense. You can write that down in a diary, never publish it, or say it to your friends, instead of publishing it for the world to see and for white supremacists to like and reblog. (Last part is for real lol.)
#Twn#The Witcher#the Witcher Netflix#Geralt#Netflix#autism#autistic#speaking#Talking#I know my bitterness is unattractive but it is what it is lol#the point isn’t supposed to be my bitterness but just to let people know that diversity exists#particularly to let the Witcher fandom which has an extraordinary sense of group think#More so than any fandom I’ve been in willikers#Or not even fans but viewers or people who are aware of it and express how they feel and create content about it#they are often incredibly closed minded and anti diversity INCLUDING to my surprise ‘leftists’ on tumblr#obv in a different way and not nearly as perniciously as the alt right ‘fans’ who flood the media with their takes#but they also take the word of a lot of these alt right bozos WAY more than I expected
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fyodor priest au. Discuss
#He’d be a priest in a small Russian villiage#Very religious place#He himself was raised and still is very devout#He’s incredibly smart but never got any education after high school#(a mix of his family probably never went to university+he already had his sights set on becoming a priest)#and despite him believing in his role/job in his village he still finds life mind numbingly boring and repetitive#(he just isn’t getting the mental stimulation he needs in such a boring and small place)#Starts questioning wether he made the right decision and having such extreme and blasphemous thoughts as taking a break moving out and#Getting a degree……….. shocking#He’s also gay. And I think he knows this. Or at least knows he’s had such thoughts towards men. But his town is very conservative and he#Himself has some internalised homophobia and religious guilt stuff going on#So he’s either in denial or represses it all#I’m rambling. The exam stress is really getting to me#But I actually really like this idea wait#bsd fyodor
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Should I force myself to talk to women on hinge
#I do not want to#but I am also actively trying to overwrite unrequited attraction that is actually making me ill#so like. idk.#would that count as exposure therapy in this context?#I was introduced to the concept of limerence and I feel a lot more normal about it#not in the sense of ‘I am okay now’#but in the sense of ‘this is a shared and recognized phenomenon that acknowledges the compulsive nature of it#and suggests that it may come from a similar neurological place/process/imbalance as OCD#so instead of well meaning people who don’t grasp how overwhelming these feelings are telling me to just try to date other people#I at least have the validation of ‘you are not crazy because other people have experienced this kind of debilitating intensity too’#and the suggestions for coping with and overcoming limerence include CBT/DBT#which is a lot more structured and helpful than my friends giving me well intentioned advice for something they don’t really understand#like I cannot tell you how much relief this has brought me#I don’t just have a crush on a straight woman and can’t get over it i literally have these non stop intrusive thoughts about her#coupled with the constant mental noise of i know she isn’t interested and i need to be respectful and maintain boundaries#it has literally made me feel like I’m losing my mind or some kind of stalker#but a mental stalker#anyway it has been incredibly unpleasant and upsetting and now I’m focusing on consciously stopping and countering those thoughts#and approaching it the same way as my other intrusive thoughts#also note: I tried to make an appointment with my therapist but she is overbooked and if this does not yield change I might spiral again
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youtube
I find this funnier than it objectively is.
#I keep trying to describe Nancy Cartwright’s interpretation of Bart in the early shorts/Season 1 in case I’m ever called upon to explain it#I think the way to best way to describe it is “simultaneously extremely jaded and cynical + extremely innocent and clueless”#that’s an incredible combination of traits to me#The Simpsons#I really love the thing in the Ullman shorts where if a character isn’t in the short they throw their picture in the background somewhere#you can tell that they were already obsessed with these characters because they had the presence of mind to go “Marge is here in SPIRIT”
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Either people with scrupulosity OCD need to stop being so relatable or I need to go to the doctor
#ocd#this is abt taylor swift based on a discussion I just had with an intellectual colleague btw#this post brought to you by my mind.#I always just call my symptoms/bs related to this kinda thing a ‘purity complex’ to myself but that’s not really an actual thing is it#that makes me sound like an anime character .. 💀#but like#does everyone not have that incredibly strict moral code that if they break it they Explode into a billion pieces?#any time you see yourself doing something mildly immoral like telling one white lie or not doing the laundry you start to feel like#‘wow! maybe life isn’t worth it <3’#no? just me?#ok….#bbge.text
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rise of the tmnt being the first iteration to make me give a shit about Capril as a pairing but then nickelodeon takes the show out back and shoots it and the creators say there were never any plans for them to get together in the show even if it'd gotten to continue
like don't get me wrong i understand the creators wanted to focus mainly on found family/familial love and i very much respect that. so much media gets needlessly filled with romance and not to mention nickelodeon probably would not have even allowed Lesbian Capril anyway but...
but...
BUT C'MOOOOONNNNN!!! LESBIAN CAPRIL. ENEMIES TO RIVALS TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS LESBIAN CAPRIL. WHAT WE COULD HAVE HAAAAAD!!!
#i'm not tagging this with any actual fandom tags bc i'm just rambling into the void here but#yeah#i mourn everything about the loss of rottmnt#but this one sucks even more bc apparently the pairing was never even going to happen#like we get an incredibly interesting & fresh take on Casey Jones as a character#and she's even a chick#but of COURSE#THAT'S the time that Capril isn’t gonna happen#whatever#in my heart of hearts rise capril is real and neither the creators nor nickelodeon can pry that from my grubby lesbian fingers#and don't even get me STARTED on the existence of Casey Jr & how he's basically replaced Casey in everyone's minds just bc he's male#that still pisses me off to this day#i am talking
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I’ve been playing bg3 so much I hear the dice roll sound effect in my dreams
#this is just like the time when I first started playing genshin and was playing it so often that I would wake up with the Mondstat theme-#blaring in my head#im so normal guys I promise#LMAOAOO#does this even make sense tho like do you guys know what I mean 😭 I feel like I’m not describing it well#like imagine ur me lying in bed sleeping#it’s morning and I’m just starting to wake up#all of the sudden in my mind BOOM#bg3 dice rolling sound effect incredibly loud in my brain#I wake up#confused and disoriented#“where the fuck did the bg3 dice rolling sound effect come from???’’ I ponder#until I realize it came from my own stupid little head bc I’ve been playing the game so much the sound is ingrained in my brain !!!#isn’t there like a scientific word for this#this also happened a while back when I would watch sitcoms a lot—#and I’d wake up to the sound of a laugh track it was so disorienting 😭#somebody pls relate to this ☺️#bg3
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