#is... is something happening re: adaptation?

[personalzombie-tv]

I just got an ad for House of Leaves on YouTube. While I fully endorse that yes excellent book absolutely my favorite, it's also 23 years old? I've read it several times? And am actively reading it again now? Why am I getting ads about it?? Hello???

[the-monkeies-girl]

I s2g if you give me anything Caesar I will love you forever 🙏🏻

*Stumbles as thousands of Caesar pics fall out of my trench coat* Listen - Shit - I can explain, This is just a small little blurb. I have another Caesar request I'm working on that'll be longer!

Title: Phoenix. Fandom: Planet of the Apes. Pairing: Heavily Implied! Caesar x Human ! Reader. Words: 1.8K+ Rating: K. ( Tiny mention of blood, but other than that, fluffy introspective. ) Summary: **Below is set in an AU - Cornelia passed away due to complications from childbirth after Blue Eyes was born. This is happening during the events of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.** You were chosen to help Caesar put his war paint on. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻

It was very apparent that you didn't know how to hold your body when you were with him, Caesar huffed out a small laugh at that. After all this time, he still made you sweat to the point where he could smell the nerves radiating off you in fragrant waves. Caesar had watched with deathly silent observance the shift of your weight from one side to the other in front of him, perched on a rock to give you enough of a boost to be face to face with him as he propped himself to sit straight. Almost straight as a pin, you thought to yourself and wondered vaguely if it was really comfortable for him. If he had evolved for it to be comfortable. Before the Rise, Chimpanzees were able to walk upright, but never did for extended periods of time, their spines more curved and adapted to move quickly on all fours. But Caesar--- You have a small pause as your fingers dipped into a crudely sculpted bowl to your right, coating your fingertips with a white, chalky like substance. He held himself with such confidence, an air of arrogance but you doubted that that’s how he intended it to be interpreted. He had to have known how he looked to his fellow Apes, it was obvious in how they talked to him, how he interacted with them, even his own son. But, you asked in your mind if he knew that humans, at least the handful that had seen him in such close proximity, thought similarly. You scoffed to yourself, raising your hand and taking a deep breath in as your hand was quick to draw a line of white against the side of the Chimps face. He reacted only slightly. If he was pleased being touched, he never showed it in moments like this as you began to intricately trace his war paint. You started with his cheeks, figuring it was the largest bit of the canvas. Or maybe you were being biased in this entire situation. It would be impossible not to, having the intimate bond with Caesar that you did. Not mates, you were convinced of that. Caesar never brought it up, never asked if you cared to be, if you liked to be. That was a mixed bag in itself, the reaction from his Colony might not be so accepting of Caesar’s bond with a human, especially when compared to the previously loved and adored Cornelia, You were just an outlet for Caesar who craved here and there the intricacy of human interaction as opposed to Ape. 

Your hand swept upwards after re-applying a dabble of the white makeshift paint to your fingertips. Caesar was silent as his green eyes dug holes into your own, so human-like, so entrancing that you felt he could grab your hips and pull you into him,  just consume your entire being and you would allow it to happen with such gratefulness. There was a brief second where the corner of Caesar’s lip jolted, like a fleeting thought of something good passed through him before he slid his eyelids shut, allowing your gentle touch around the bridge of his brows and eye sockets. He wasn’t going to smile, you told yourself over and over, it was most likely a reaction to you touching his face. An involuntary twitch.

You swished your hand upwards into the line of his fur, tapering the white paint off in a flutter.  His fur was thicker at this time of year than during the spring and summer months, you noticed. You didn't dwindle there too long despite the growing urge to just grasp a handful of his fur to gloat to others that you had taken initiative for your own selfish fantasies. Uncomfortable again at the fastened sensation resting in the tail of your spine from the intimate nature of the situation, your eyes peered at his broad chest.

With three fingers now splattered with white, you draped coordinating lines along his collar bones, the first set of mirror lines reaching from the middle of his sternum all the way to the end of the shoulder. His fur wasn't rough like you had anticipated, in fact, it was… Hot. Smooth under the paint as it bunched together here and there as you traced what looked like bones down his chest. You only fleetingly placed a touch on his scar, feeling the dip of your touch when you went from fur to bare skin and then back to fur again. How easy it would be to just… Dig your fingers in… Swallowing hard, you admired your work pensively to keep your train of thought from derailing further and nodded in meager self-satisfaction. Caesar was still unmoving in front of you, almost getting a full face of hair as you had moved to give him the last set to complete his ceremonial rib cage. He wasn’t breathing; he couldn’t allow himself that pleasure, feeling that your smell so near to him could cause a snap. He did exhale though, feeling the thrust of your fingers against his diaphragm. Wiping your fingers on a damp cloth, you drew a deep breath into your lungs. Caesar watched that, how expanded your ribs got when you breathed in and how they deflated, almost in haste as you shifted attention to the bowl with red in it. Green and golden orbs found yours again and your heart jolted in your chest. The deep intensity of his stare always left you feeling weak in the knees and you were incredibly grateful to be sitting. You knew what was next. Caesar knew what was next. You had studied the last few times, Lake working the paint to Caesar’s face. How she applied, how Caesar preferred it to look. Finally, it was your turn. And while you thought Lake would assist, giving you advice as she watched you do it, you found yourself alone with the Ape King. Better to just rip the metaphorical band-aid off. 

The red was thicker than the white. Where the white was chalky in nature and would surely only stick to the places on Caesar’s face with deep wrinkles, the red felt goopy. Almost like actual blood, you thought to yourself and felt it trickling down your fingers, tracing the lines on your palm. Caesar closed his eyes again. Two fingers, pointer and middle, pressed to his fur line on his head and trailed down, splattering color onto the otherwise monotone Chimp. You stopped before hitting his nose, taking a few seconds to stab two adjacent lines right at his nose. One shooting off to the left and one to the right, looking like an upside down arrow. Your fingers cupped more red, more than you probably needed. Scarlet droplets hit the ground between you as your fingers finally landed on his sternum itself. The bone was hard under a layer of muscle. It often slipped your mind just how muscular Caesar was. He wasn’t bulky, but dear lord, he surely had lean muscles that served him well. Stopping a few inches downwards, your fingers shook. 

‘Cold.’ Caesar must have seen your hand shivering. He didn't speak and you wished deep down that he had. Something about the coarse nature of his voice, laxed from years of not verbalizing, made you feel that guilt-ridden bile in your stomach. 

“No,” You said with a forced smile, hating to hear the reverb of your voice. “Nervous. Want to make sure you look good.”

Caesar chortled at that. It was a laugh, sarcastic. ‘Always look good.’ 

Rolling your eyes at that, you realized that he was trying to calm you down. He had a strange way around it, often relying on his knowledge of human emotions to do just that. It varied, but in experience, joking and being sarcastic was a good way to get them to trust him. If they could see themselves in Caesar, they were more likely to be accommodating and listen to what he had to say. It was a funny way of analysation and when you first met him, it impressed you that he possessed such a quality. 

“I need to finish your face,” You whispered this time, Caesar watching your mouth form words so delicately. “Don’t move.”

He wouldn’t think of it. A tinge of pink still lingered on your fingers as you raised them, now four of them pressing to his mouth. Actually, a centimeter or so above his top lip. He pressed them together, silently eager to know what it was going to feel like. If your touches in other ways would feel similar. He’d think about it alone, perhaps when he returned. Tickling your fingers down, You were slow, obsessing over how your fingers felt against him, knowing he could bite all your fingers off here if he chose. You were so focused on getting the paint right that you were oblivious how he looked at you. Tracing his gaze along your face, admiring the tiny freckles that speckled around, only noticeable once close to you, the flick of your lips as you muttered to yourself.

It was a dragging movement you set forward, catching his bottom lip and pulling it enough for you to see his teeth for a split second before his lip bounced back to normalcy and Caesar went back to his regular gruff and flat expression. You pressed pink and took away some white to give Caesar the appearance of a skull mask. Holding his face for a brief moment, grasp on his chin, Caesar furrowed his brow at your action. Fur tickled your fingertips, you wanted nothing more than to continue moving your hand downwards. To scape it across his chest, destroy the paint you just put on him. Smearing over your own body. 

“You better not ruin my piece of art.” You shook yourself out of your own thoughts, snapping your hand back just as quickly as you decided to actually hold him. Clearing your throat, you hoped he didn't mention you lingering. You knew he noticed and now, all Caesar got was another awkward smile from you, Knees rubbed together for a second before you decided to occupy yourself with cleaning up. “Hm…” He muttered, perking up at the sound of clay clanking against each other as you stacked the paint bowls. Eyes were burning into your back, you felt them as you shuffled across the cave to put your things away. “Cannot help it… if it rains.”

A small laugh left your lips at that as you looked over your shoulder at him. The vibration of his voice rocketed through you and it felt strange that your legs were unable to move. He picked his body up, now shifting to his assortment of weapons. So broadening in nature, it wasn’t a surprise to anyone that he was the King.  

“Course not.” You laughed again, drawing your bottom lip in, hoping to yourself in secrecy that he’d ask you to help clean himself up when he returned. “Can’t help that at all…”

[crystalsenergy]

Astro counselling- Rising Signs (all)

Ascendant in…

ARIES Self-sufficiency is not the same as self-sabotage. Beware of behaviors that harm your physical and mental health because you are someone with an extreme focus on doing things alone and end up carrying the world on your shoulders.

TAURUS Your material possessions don't define who you are. Having more, having less, doesn't make you better (or worse) than anyone else. Beware of material attachment as a way of seeing yourself. Do you believe or have you ever believed that you are how much you have?

GEMINI Your tendency to be very adaptable to environments and exchanges can make people unable to define exactly who you are. Be adaptable and flexible, but not superficial in your conveyed image.

CANCER Beware of a tendency to want to be everyone's mother figure and feel too responsible for the lives of those around you. Beware of emotional manipulation because of your kind and compassionate nature - which is beautiful but needs to be shown in doses to some people.

LEO If you have pride and defensiveness as your tendencies, see that you are greater than your ego forces. Find ways to improve this. Realize how much pride can be preventing you from expressing your true feelings to others.

VIRGO Pay attention to your overcompensation behaviors. What is this, Paty? This happens when you want to make up for something you think you failed, and you do this very intensely. You don't have to act this way in order to (re-)establish the sense of inner usefulness. You are already useful. Your successful or unsuccessful tasks don't erase this.

LIBRA See the value YOU have. Your worth is not conditioned by how much others appreciate you. You are self-sufficient. You don't need to be dependent on other people's approval because you are enough. You are enough.

SCORPIO Your depth and intensity tend not to appear so much to others, after all, you are, by nature, a deep and mysterious sign. If you just internalize everything and not externalize, it can do you more harm than good. Your inner intensity can make you IMPLODE, which will be bad for you. Beware of self-destruction, even if “imperceptible”.

SAGITTARIUS Your essence is deep, optimistic and grandiose. However, beware of attachment to optimism and hedonistic philosophies of life (which seek more happiness and pleasure than anything else). Life is full of ups and downs, and the lows are just as uplifting and educational as the highs. You can live blinding yourself in the optimistic vibe, forgetting to see where you need to grow, evolve.

CAPRICORN Contrary to what they say (“Capricorn is indifferent, Capricorn is cold”), you know that this is not the case. Deep down, you care a lot about others, however, the mistake is exactly in the focus you give - your focus is very much on the opinion of others, on the image of being successful, on the importance of pleasing society, even if society is not just a person, but the whole - and that's why this search can imprison you so much. This is a lesson for the sign of Capricorn, eliminating the search for appearance and being in standards, however, on the Ascendant this search is focused on the vision of oneself. So, take care of how much your self-esteem is linked to your level of social approval.

AQUARIUS You are very mental, you are constantly stimulated by your thoughts, your behavior is largely based on your mental activity. Just be careful with excessive thoughts moving in your mind, it can generate a lot of anxiety. Therefore, pay attention to the amount of subjects you come into contact with in a short period of time. You have a more reflective nature, so you can be overstimulated in your mind and lose mental energy.

PISCES The greatest care of the Ascendant in Pisces is exactly the one that involves the outside world, what is outside of him/her. Because Pisces is a sign that is not natural aware of what enters its mind, since it captures energies from the outside quite automatically, it is important to pay attention, more than anyone else, to whom you talk, with whom you exchange energy, the environments you frequent...

[katerinaaqu]

The Humanity of Odysseus and the Importance of the Curse of Polyphemus (an Odyssey Analysis on Fate and Destiny)

I believe there is one thig that needs to be said about the Odyssey and Odysseus in particular and something I have rarely seen properly adapted. It is the importance of the unchangable fate in antiquity in general and homeric poems in particular. One can say this starts from the character itself; Odysseus name meaning "Anger Bringer" or "Furious" is an indicator that not only the character will be dusliked by many but that he would also cause anger which one can expect would lead to terrible consequences. However I believe the moment Odysseus was truly deprived of all his choices was the infamous Curse of Polyphemus:

In Rhapsody/Book 9 of the Odyssey, Odysseus describes his misadventure with the cyclops Polyphemus and when he revealed himself to him, Polyphemus prays to his father, Poseidon, giving Odysseus a double-curse (as it happens to most predictions that have at least two ways they can go) which goes like this:

"I call upon you, Poseidon, Earth-bearer with cyan/black/dark hair, if I am your son and you wish to be my father (you wish to be called my father), do it for me so that Odysseus the Sacker of Cities will never reach his home, the son of Laertes who calls Ithaca his home, but if fate calls for him to see his friends and reach his well-built home and his ancestral land, make it so it will be terrible (here return), that he will lose all his companions and in a foreign ship and find misery waiting for him at his home!"

(Translation by me)

So as you can see the curse has two different outcomes

He will never see his home again

If he does, it will be without his companions brought by a foreign ship and he will find misery at his own home when he arrives

At this point, given that the story is "in media res" aka "told from the middle", we know now that the second part is fulfilled, or almost fulfilled. Odysseus is in Scheria, he is alone, he is shipwrecked, there is no sign of any of his companions anywhere so we expect him to return at this foreign ship, aka a Phaeacaean ship to his home at any moment. However by the moment the curse is placed, Odysseus doesn't know which outcome is to befall upon him. And while the second part is weirdly specific (and in a way preparing us for the outcome) the first one is not nearly speficic enough!

Make it so he never sees his land again.

This could mean anything; does he get killed in the ardous trip? Does he get straddled to a place for the rest of his life? Does he somehow lose his...memory and never return home again (similarly to how his men ate the Lotuses at the Lotophagi land)? What is more, nowhere in this part does it say his comrades will survive the ordeal. Although the curse means specifically for Odysseus not reaching his home and one could assume his men would but not Odysseus, that is not guaranteed.

Both of these scenarios are terribly gloom for both Odysseus and his men. So what does Odysseus do? He does what every human being would have done;

He tries to change fate!

He tries constantly to lift the curse:

Even if he knows deep down is pointless, even if he more or less has realized they are off for an arduous trip that will cost them probably all of them their lives, Odysseus STILL TRIES to change the fate! He sails off to find help. He goes to Aiolus and asks for help. He gets the bag. At this point Odysseus is at the end of his wits. He has a chance, he thinks, to change fate, to change the curse. He remains awake for 9 days to make sure he will (see also my other analysis in regards to that) and yet it is all in vain. His men open the bag JUST A LITTLE BEFORE they reach Ithaca and pushed back.

At this point it becomes all the more clear that they are up for an endless journey or a settlement away from home at best case scenario and all to die at worst case scenario. Odysseus doesn't give up! He asks AGAIN, this time he is denied.

And then comes destruction...

They reach the idland of the giant Laistrygonians and here Odysseus suffers the worst loss he has suffered so far; he loses 11 out of his 12 ships in a single raid and barely manages to escape with the rest of his comrades resting on his ship. Right now is clearer than ever that the curse is taking place so the real question is; which of the parts shall it be fulfulled? And they reach the land of Circe. Plenty of his men turn into pigs. Eurylochus barely escapes doom and runs at him to tell him "LEAVE THEM AND GO". Odysseus knows in his bones they are doomed! He knows he either leaves them and fulfulles the second prophecy (for his men already perish little by little) or either way the first part of the prophecy is fulfilled. What does Odysseus do?

He tries AGAIN!

He sells himself to Circe, he requests his men's freedom. He ASKS Circe for advice, he descends the Underworld, asks Tiresias for a course; how he can reach his home, how he can save his men, how he can REVERSE THE CURSE. Even if he knows it is impossible to challenge fate (not even Zeus could transcend fate). In a way he comits a form of hubris hoping to change fate. And yet he is HUMAN! He cannot accept that his men would die that he cannot go home. He wants to TRY! So sure enough he gets a possible way out...

Tiresias gives him hope...

The prophet tells him he can save his men AND reach Ithaca IF they do not eat the cattle of Helios Hyperion. What is more Circe gives him advice for the trip; the course they can follow, the steps they can take and again the warning of NOT eating the cattle of Helios. Odysseus takes heart to those, he DESPERATELY GRABS on them! He thinks he has a chance. Maybe...JUST MAYBE he can reverse this terrible curse! He can MAKE IT RIGHT! He has a chance to change fate! He has a chance to reverse it!

Self-Fulfilled Prophecy

Little does he know though that the trip is already set for failiure. Skylla claims 6 of his best men (his men CONTINUE TO PERISH) and yet Odysseus thinks that this is a sign that he can make it, that the terrible sacrifices will pay off and that he is on his way to break the curse. He is following the instructions therefore it must go well. And come the Cattle Of Helios Hyperion.

An attempt to dodge fate...

Odysseus tells to his men that they should not stop at the island now. He is not ready to take another risk. He will not do the same as the sack of Aiolus. He wants to AVOID THE ISLE ALTOGETHER. If his men are not tepted, they will not break. He intends to keep going and it could have worked...but...

Sure enough his men are tired they need to stop

Odysseus has no choice. At this point he probably realizes there is no way to change fate. He sees it now that everything is up for destruction and he still doesn't know WHICH VERSION will be fulfulled! And even if every part of his brain tells him everything is lost Odysseus REFUSES TO GIVE UP! No, this cannot be the end! There must still be time and space to reverse it!

He makes them promise

Odysseus makes his men swear to everything sacred that no matter what they shall not touch the cattle. That they would survive only with the provisions given by Circe, that they will not be tempted no matter what. Sure enough he extracts the promise from them but of course the prophecy is now moving. Wind is opposite. There is no way they can go. They get straddled for WEEKS. Food is over. Odysseus sees the path is for destruction and yet...

HE TRIES AGAIN!

He goes to the island to pray! There MUST be another way! The gods can hear him...maybe pity him and release them from this! And yet he falls asleep from fatigue, stress and godly intervention. Now the clock is ticking! His men cannot withstand hunger anymore and slay the cattle. Now their fate is shielded. We now know they will die. We know also which part of the prophecy will be fulfulled; Odysseus will come home ALONE, just like we see him narrating alone (even if we might as well wonder whether Odysseus would remain in Scheria, it is pretty much settled that Odysseus returns to Ithaca). However Odysseus doesn't know...but what he fears the most has happened

One last desperate attempt.

Odysseus is human above all. He sees the slain animals, he KNOWS his men will die and even that time he REFUSES to accept it! He REFUSES to give up! He sets sail again, hoping to save them, to save them all (himself included) as they roam for 7 days in the sea

And doom strikes...

His men all perish, his ship is gone! Odysseus is left alone in the sea, fighting for 10 days to the brief of death. Right now Odysseus is no longer struggling to change fate...he is no longer struggling to save anyone but himself...he is struggling

...SO THAT AT LEAST THE FATE IN STORE FOR HIM IS HIS RETURN...

He now has suffered the ultimate loss. He needs to at least make it home! Even if that means without companions, even if that means to be home in misery...he just HAS TO GO HOME! He cannot just perish in the sea or be forever straddled outside Ithaca! And then Calypso happens. Odysseus is left in her isle for 7 years.

He now fears he will never see his home again

He cries every day on the beach. His rape every night is strong enough reason for him to do so but also the fact that he now FEARS that the first section of the prophecy is fullfilled; that he is never to see his home and friends and family again. That his fate was not to perish in the sea but to be forever held against his will away from his beloved home and family. And he is filled with despair. When he has lost all hope that he will ever roam about the sea again; with at least SOME HOPE that the second part of the curse would be fulfilled, he is ready to throw himself in the sea; give an end to his life since there is no point in hoping anymore. The worst scenario has happened for him. He has nothing else to expect...

And it is so...till Hermes brings the order to release him. Now Odysseus finds hope anew that he will return. And he struggles with all his might to survive! Even if he is days out in the sea in a small raft. Even when his raft is destroyed and he has to literally swim to Scheria. his mind goes "NO! I WILL NOT PERISH! I WILL GO HOME!" and sure enough he does and he does meet his friends again and he does find this misery at his home and yet now Odysseus can endure this misery, because he knows he managed to get home and he knows that he has left but ONE TASK according to Tiresias.

He tried to beat fate and he failed...but now he has hope...

So as you see, and forgive me for the long analysis, Odysseus is more human than anyone can imagine and always relatable character. Despite his flaws and mistakes one of the noblest mistakes he made was to think he could change fate and dedicate a large part of his trip trying to do just that; change the curse and save his companions which only ends up to a self-fulfilled prophecy but I doubt anyone can deny that we would all have done the same. I doubt any of us would just abandon all hope and sit tight waiting for the prophecy to be filled either way. He would all have tried to change such a grim outcome!

Because we are human. And so was Odysseus.

[penny-anna]

OK in advance of tonight's other episode, couple of thoughts on the Percy Jackson tv show's adaptational choices:

i haven't actually seen anyone flag this one up yet (it's a fairly subtle change and i know a lot of ppl haven't read the first book in like 15 years so maybe everyone just forgot?) but in the book the reveal that Percy's mother is still alive drops a lot later in the narrative. book!Percy heads out on his quest fully intending to bring her back from the dead. which imo is a stronger narrative beat & it makes the reveal that she's still alive and he was right to think he could rescue her that much more satisfying.

on reflection agree w the comments i've seen re the other kids should have knelt to Percy after he was claimed. actually saw complaints about this before reading the book so was surprised at how fleeting a moment it was but it really does serve to accentuate both what a big deal a Forbidden Child is and that Percy is an outsider even at Camp Halfblood

as per previous post yes it is explicitly stated in the book that Chiron suspect Percy was the son of Poseidon and i think omitting that was a mistake given the number of ppl i've seen picking up on it

in 2 minds about the omission of the hellhound bcos it is a pretty important plot beat and a cool scene but i can see why they wouldn't want to do a CGI monster fight that was technically extraneous

ALSO Annabeth having mistakenly concluded that Percy was a child of Zeus was a good character beat in terms of her being smart enough to figure out he was a forbidden child but not infallible. and maybe also biased due to her previous relationship w Thalia.

that said i enjoyed her shoving Percy in a lake too much to really complain.

changes i think are for the better:

i think having sending Medusa's head to Olympus have actual Consequences was a good move 👍 unless im missing something due to not having read the rest of the series. i was surprised reading the book that in spite of Percy getting warned not to do it there wasn't any fall out.

i don't think the scene w Percy petrifying one of the furies was in the book either? cool moment!

PLUS having Athena be petty enough to pull that shit was like. very on point for a Greek god flkghfdkj

really enjoyed Echidna getting introduced earlier. amped up the tension in a big way AND kept me on my toes, i was there like ohh is this a different monster? are they moving her fight scene to the train? what's going to happen here - OH NO

Echidna bringing up that the gods and the 'monsters' are all a single family was also 👌great scene all round

likewise Percy & Annabeth BOTH trying to sacrifice themselves for the group loved that. don't think this was necessarily an improvement as the book scene was good in a different way but really good moment

*slow hand clap* consensus!!

[artbyblastweave]

So I want to draw out some of the grousings I put in the tags of @phaeton-flier's recent post on Waller's characterization in My Adventures with Superman.

I think the problem you're gonna run into with adapting Waller in 2024 is that they basically nailed her completely twenty years ago in the DCAU Justice League continuity, they already captured the perfect balance of good intentions and ruthless utilitarian amorality. In the DCAU, Waller's arrival on the scene was contextualized by more than a decade of superheroic precedent- she lives in a world where Superman specifically got brainwashed into attacking earth, she lives in a world where Kryptonian war criminals took a shot at Earth, she lives in a world where an alternate-universe totalitarian Superman crossed dimensional boundaries to take a shot at earth. She lives in a world where Superman helped disarm the world's nuclear arsenal at the behest of a guy who turned out to be the fifth column for an extraterrestrial invasion. She lives in a world where the Justice League formed specifically to stop something similar happening again and then tripped over their own dicks when one of their founding members turned out to be a partisan mole for an extraterrestrial empire. She lives in a world where these city-leveling clowns have consolidated sixty or seventy other city-leveling clowns in an orbiting circus that's armed with a city-leveling orbital laser canon. This is just the stuff that would have made the in-universe news, there's even more I'm not mentioning here. In other words, she lives in a world where it's completely reasonable not to trust the superheroes and to want to have contingencies against them.

She does horrible things in pursuit of those contingencies, but they're targeted, goal oriented horrible things. Aside from her usual suicide squad routine she clones and basically enslaves dozens of super-soldiers, which is of course terrible on the face of it, but comparatively easy to justify from the realpolitik cold-equation way in which she approaches things. When her bullshit generates externalities for civilians, it's not because she sics those super soldiers on them. She doesn't declare martial law. That's not what she's after! She just keeps losing control of the bastards, and then she shrugs, and she signs off on additional bastards from scientists and magicians who've proven time and time again that they do not have their shit buttoned down- but what else is she going to do? Roll over? Let the capes treat the world like their playground?

Crucially, the DCAU version is also capable of realizing when she's prioritized the wrong threat- she's capable of re-evaluating and de-escalating. She's got a foil on that show, a guy who starts from the same place of concern as her but isn't capable of course-correcting because he's too much of a belligerent paranoid maniac. That guy is General Wade Eiling. And in a version of MAWS that doesn't need to set Sam Lane up for a redemption arc, I would have Waller as the one in Sam's position, as the well-meaning extremist who loses control of the monster she created and gets frozen out in favor of a significantly less principled hardliner in the form of Eiling. Alas.

The fundamental thing about Waller, at least to me, is that she's uninteresting as a ground-floor antagonist. While I've yet to get around to the original Suicide Squad run where Waller originated, I'm confident in my understanding that it was a postmodern project from the word go, exploiting years of ossified genre convention and rogue's gallery bloat to make the points that it was trying to make. This is part of why I think the first Suicide Squad film went over like a lead balloon- it tried to wish that built-up continuity into existence out of nowhere, whereas the second movie was simply a lot more naturalistic about faking that larger context. This show feels like it's doing something similar on a meta-level- exploiting decades of audience familiarity with Waller and how plots involving her tend to go, in a way that papers over how weirdly early in the progression of this continuity they've brought her into the fray. She usually isn't the joyless jackboot on the frontline trying to snuff out the incipient heroic age- she's the beleaguered repairmen brought in years after the novelty has worn off, after the superheroes have had their goddamn chance, with all the ups and downs and near-misses that entails, so that she can make entirely novel mistakes in reaction to that context. As it stands, she's kind of 0 to 100 in this, and something about it feels off.

[taylortruther]

also re: the racial component of TS/fan base, if you haven't you should watch Alex Avila's video on Taylor Swift, I think it was really well done

this is SO good. thank you SO much for this recommendation.

i really liked how avila noted how masterfully taylor blends authenticity and social normativity - "the reason taylor swift seems so authentic to young girls is because she's conforming to an image [of white patriarchal girlhood] that young women internalized from a young age." similarly, the popular feminism of 2014 (when 1989 was released) was flimsy and did not challenge patriarchal norms, and we see how she made feminism part of 1989's branding.

and he asks a question i often pose: is there anything subversive in idolizing the most popular cultural object? does poptimism (the critique of pop music as a serious form of art) simply reinforce existing power structures??

taylor swift and whiteness

understanding how someone becomes a legend and icon means understanding how they challenge, but also reinforce, the biases in society, which includes race, class, gender, and so forth. and "there IS something deeply white about [taylor's] image" (1:18:33). her image is cultural whiteness! taylor swift's relatability (which is and has always been part of her brand), her social capital, her social normativity, is directly tied to the neoliberal racial philosophy that, instead of calling whiteness superior, establishes whiteness as the norm (1:21:23).

millennials want celebrities to be morally pure. this is a mistake.

also - LOVE that he points out that millennials don't judge female celebrities by their sexuality or modesty anymore, but instead they judge based on political awareness, which is just another way of continuing the "patriarchal history of regulating narratives around women's actions" (1:42:39). avila focuses specifically on millennials here, cautioning us not to consider this a a sign of true political engagement from millennials. as he points out, systems of oppression adapt to our ever-changing culture. when we try to 'cancel' or 'hold a celebrity accountable' for their ideologies or missteps, sometimes it's because they're truly terrible, and other times it's because we hold women to "unrealistic standards of purity." ie, this isn't necessarily real political engagement, it is just another example of judging women. often it's both (pointing out missteps, and also being sexist.)

whiteness again

avila goes on to discuss how white women have long been held up as virtuous, moral centers of american families - and while this is a racist and sexist practice, given that woc aren't seen as virtuous, it also lays the foundation for why white women in particular dominate conversations about politics in the public sphere. it is an Event every time a white celebrity frames their political awakening as a personal, spiritual journey of self-realization. yes, this act is important, because women must learn about their own oppression, and talk about it, in order to educate others.

but when taylor (or any other famous white woman) frames politics solely through the personal, it relieves her of the obligation to critique systemic issues. her own political awakening is all that matters - she must prove her own political purity (instead of sexual purity, as before.) there is a deep problem in society demanding this, rather than larger systemic change, but we'll get to that later.

this personal political purity awakening earns her a lot of goodwill, but her resistance ends with herself. and this is a pattern that we see happen all the time, in what robin james calls "neoliberal resistance discourses" in pop: someone is damaged by oppression (sexism), she overcomes it brilliantly with an awakening (miss americana/lover/denouncing trump era), and she absorbs this goodwill into her brand. these individual damages and awakenings supposedly symbolize society's own awakening and resilience(!). (1:52:48)

🚨 some readers might be getting tired/annoyed at this; i can hear y'all saying "well, what do you even WANT from her omg!!!" just stay with me here. 🚨

she holds a mirror up to society, tho

what avila so brilliantly points out is that... this cycle of damages and resilience isn't helpful. it goes nowhere! and we are all at the mercy of the same patterns as taylor. it's not about taylor, it's about us, and how capitalism commodifies everything, including social movements! including personal 'goodness'! a neoliberal system wants individuals to care about their individual choices and looking like good individuals; it encourages the use of "purity tests" and "commodified algorithmic social movements" to discourage challenges to systemic issues (reminds me of the celebrity blackout situation earlier this year, and conversations we have about politics, well, daily on here.) and the pattern of a person failing politically as an individual is part of this machine. if we're too busy policing individuals for their purity, we won't ever organize together for shared material goals. unfortunately, unlike taylor swift, most of us are not extremely powerful, wealthy, and influential as individuals. she does have more power than us in this regard.

taylor as cultural hegemony

anyway, avila goes on to talk about how taylor had this musical renaissance with folklore, and became more honest about her masterminding her own career in midnights. she has shown herself not just to be a musical chameleon, but a cultural one as well, positioning herself as white teenage purity when the culture called for it (circa 2008-2010), neoliberal pop feminism (1989 -> lover), pandemic escapism (folkmore) - and the culture has become part of her brand, part of her music. music that is already heavily wrapped up in her own life. she is the brand she is the culture. of course she put the work in, and not just anyone could do this. but imo, her whiteness (which, again, gives her this "default" "neutral" background to work with) is part of this success. "sure, she's challenged the institution but all in the effort to become the new face of musical hegemony" (2:06:25.) she challenges systems to assimilate into them, or create them in a way that requires assimilation.

of course, this is all based on her REAL experiences, her REAL life. she is living her own life, and also living it in this metacognitive way that mirrors culture.

but we don't have to hate taylor, actually!

and MOST interestingly, avila closes out by suggesting: it's not actually super healthy to always be suspicious and critical of art (2:17:24.) yes, there is a long political history of "paranoid reading," of critique based on marx, freud, and nietzsche's philosophies. it is the basis of A LOT of our frameworks for thinking about the world, including art.

as i've said before, it's interesting to discuss taylor or celebrities because they hold a mirror up to society. but we can't just relentlessly critique ourselves - after all, the critique is supposed to protect us from being bad! the critique is what keeps us good! and it's why we project so much onto them (the celebrities, or "bad" people.)

this video dove into a term that may be new to a lot of people (i only learned of it recently) - "reparative reading." rather than relentlessly critique art or what-have-you, engage with it in ways that is "affirmative, creative, and caring." this does not mean you toss out critical readings - reparative readings can coexist, and give us hope, optimism, feelings of beauty/appreciation, and affirmation.

for example, it's why -while i enjoy critiquing taylor (or what she Represents) - i am also here to just... have fun. i don't want to linger 24/7 on her emissions, or what she hasn't done, or who she's friends with. it's also why, as a fan of color, i hate that she is often dismissed and minimized to "white musician making music for white women." i find affirmation in a lot of her music, regardless of her race; i find optimism and hope in the way women so deeply relate to her, and how queer fans (also like myself) relate to her! (which avila points out too 2:21:00.) it's why i stopped debunking stuff, because queerness - like any other aspect of the fandom - is such a critical, significant part of why her music is beloved. it's so important for people to recognize that she is more than just 'music for straight white heterosexual cisgender women.'

[obsessive-valentine]

How would Dark-Yandere!Farmer react to finding reader taking Polaroid photo shoots of his retired senior dogs in silly clothing like sunglasses, hair clips, etc. Btw love your writing keep up the good work!🫶🏼

Dark-Yandere!Farmer x GN!Reader

TW - Readers def developing Stockholm Syndrome or something of the sort, nothing else though this fix is sweeter as an apology for the intense one last time about reader being punished. This was meant to be a qick paragraph or two as an answer but I got to deep into lore and this sweet scenario as it’s a side of him we don’t see much. Thanks for the idea glad you’re liking this blog❤️

I’ll proof read later

You’d expressed an interest in his old cameras after he let you rummage through a few boxes he’d stored away. In a box he’s got a old digital camera a Polaroid one and then a really fragile one that’s much older than the rest, you didn’t dare pick it up in fear it would fall adapt just by touch. Then at the bottom of the box, a few images, some developed film some printed. You recognised him in some home images or family portraits, he looked like a happy kid with a cheesy grin sometimes even pictured on this very farm but most of them look to be taken in a small town house.

It’s weird to imagine at one point he was just a normal kid, living a normal life, photos of him blowing out candles on his birthday or with some older family members reminded you that no ones born ‘bad’. Makes you wonder why he’s the way he is now, what happened?

A part of you wanted to take one of those sweet images of him as a child and hide it away, to uncover and re-remind yourself he’s not a living monster but a human and a kind one at times. To ground yourself when he gets angry and all you can see him as is a living demon. To set the aspiration that if he was once so -he can be again.

You recognised a woman from the images as his mother because he kept a image of her in the bedside draw, she looked loving and kind. But he’d never talk about her, answering your careful questions about her with “she was a good mother” or “she was an admirable woman” he seemed emotionally withdrawn about it so you didn’t push it. You figured since she’s dead he’s just remembering her face.

The rest of the pictures seemed to be from the building of this farm, dated on the back in scruffy hands writing, maybe by his father or grandfather. You could look through this pile of history for hours, not just to learn more about your captor but about the history of this place and the his family that he’s so reluctant to talk about.

The ladder to the attic creaks behind you and his distinct heavy boots land with a thud and groan on the ladder steps “what’s got you so occupied up here?” You felt like you’d been caught looking in something you shouldn’t have despite having permission “j-just these cameras, I had a polaroid camera once” you turned to him showing him the old camera, he now off the ladder and standing over you.

“Hmm, old thing -maybe older than us” he gently took it from you hands to inspect it “probably still works if you want it, not any use just sitting up here” he hands it back “thank you” you reply with a smile he waves you off and crouches down beside the box with you. He shuffles through it completely ignoring the images from his past and he rummages in search of something “No film stacks though, I’ll pick some up from town next time”

“Really?” You look over at him in excitement, he shrugs “sure” he stands up ready to head back down stairs “had I known you’d be so happy I’d have gotten you one sooner” he chuckles at your excitement over something so small.

To you it’s much more than a old camera to take up some free time when you get bored. It’s yours, you can control it, keep it for your own. You don’t have much things that’s yours anymore but the collections growing.

...

You’d basically forgotten about getting film for your camera as a week or two had passed. But he hadn’t, he returned to the truck once again being one of may shops he had to stop at. But this time he didn’t have heavy bags of stock or material and tools for the farm but just 3 small boxes that he could carry in just one hand.

He sat down in his seat and extended his hand to give you the boxed, you furrowed your brows in confusion until you read one of the box’s. A big smile plastered you face when you got to the word ‘film’ “that should be enough to last you a long while” “thank you” you grinned giving him a quick hug out of appreciation.

Once you both pulled into the driveway of the farm you had already thought up many picture opportunities, and you couldn’t wait to get to it. The car parked and he gave you the go ahead “You can finally get to your photography, take some pretty pictures” you practically ran to the house to retrieve the camera.

...

You’d been in the house for a hour or two at this point and he’d began to get a bit concerned, usually you’d come outside now and then or spend the afternoon in the barn playing with the animals. But no sign of you. He put the final nail into the fence he was fixing and decided to come check on you.

He got to the front door and could hear you laughing before even opening it “good boy Berty, you’re so handsome” his curiosity peaked at those words, he quietly made his way to the room you and presumably Berty the elderly farm dog was in and observed from the door frame.

There you sat, infront of Berty whose dressed up in various items and fabrics mimicking clothes. The camera clicks and your silent as you watch it develop, Berty still sits patiently. “We got the picture, look at how dapper you look” you praise him and he gets exited leaving all the items fall off his as he runs up to you to get pet.

“When I said pretty pictures I was envisioning landscapes or with artistic vision” he jokes still standing in the door way unable to not smile at such a bizarre but cute sight. You stand shocked for a moment, he’s not one to creep up on you, it when you see his amused smile you loosen back up. “This is artistic vision, and Bertys my muse, look at how handsome” you joke and show him the photo “it’s something alright” he almost laughs out.

“Hey, this is worthy of a museum, the composition the choice of colours the muse, it all tells a story” you continue to joke, he just shakes his head unable to wipe away his smile “as long as your happy, I guess” “I am, thank you again” moments like this you forget everything you went though and are able to exist in ignorance.

Those moments are becoming more frequent now especially since he’s began to become more relaxed, he wasn’t as authoritarian anymore, your sure if you pushed it he wouldn’t have a 2nd thought of going back to the way things were. There’s always that lingering threat but it’s not as pronounced anymore. You’re starting to see the love he has for you, sometimes unconventional and deranged possessiveness but moments like this, seeing him smile and joke you can delude yourself into believing he’s a normal partner.

He brings you in closer by the hips “you’re so cute” his grin is akin to the little boy in those pictures, you’ve seemed to restore a part of his childish cheer. He pecks your lips “I bet the barn animals are missing you, maybe you should take this photography session to them, I’m sure they’ll appreciate the attention”

And that’s what you did, dressed up the chickens though they didn’t stay still -the cows were great models -but a few animals tried to eat the accessories and clothing which made things harder. The farmer got less work done than normal that afternoon as he found it quite amusing and cute watching you through the cracked barn door trying to wrestle a bow onto a goat.

[clairedaring]

if you're hoping for joe 2.0 to get his 'revenge' in the second half of the series...

warning: mild novel spoilers (but also not really because i'm just discussing things that have been shown in the trailer)

i really think you should either drop the series or give up the hopes of a satisfying makjang revenge storyline in my stand-in instead of setting yourself up for disappointment. because that simply isn't the story that my stand-in is trying to tell.

so what is my stand-in about really?

well, for me i think its a romance tragicomedy drama about an idiotic scum male lead losing the person he loves most because of his own arrogance and refusal to listen to his heart and the series of unfortunate events that happened consequently for our protagonist who was living a peaceful and quiet life as a stunt actor before the scum male lead entered his life.

joe 2.0 and his approach to life

i've mentioned it twice now that one of my favorite traits of joe/zhou xiang is that kindness in his strength where even if he can be choose to be mean or cruel, he simply doesn't because he has such a soft heart and he's weak to see others in pain (joe is my fellow enfp people pleaser okay) (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ which is why even in his 2.0 life, you won't get to see joe turning 180 degree and going around to hurt everyone who's ever hurt him like it's some makjang kdrama.

and while that seems like it could be fun, i think the reason why i loved professional body double (my stand-in novel) so much in the first place is because that very distinction between joe and other rebirth/second chance at life protagonists that you often see in revenge kdramas/cdramas/thai lakorns.

logically, if my stand-in was a 24-episode one31 lakorn/thai soap opera, joe would be full of hatred and burning rage after his rebirth and started his intricated revenge plot while still falling in love with ming whom he should hate the most.

and yet he isn't (or at least it seems to me so far).

if you read the lyrics 'Die For You' - the opening ost of my stand-in, i think you can have a good guess of what the second half of the story will be like.

Even running away to death can't help. If my heart had chosen to stop at you I'll have to surrender with the confusion I feel. To come back to the same old place. Even if I have to die, disappear and then be reborn But the love is still buried deep inside, even if it's been shattered into pieces Even if my life ends, I can't stop my heart from calling out to you Because this whole body, life, spirit It is yours only, for all eternity.

and even from the trailer of my stand-in, you can tell that joe 2.0 has a lot of internal conflicting feelings about whether he could trust ming again after the betrayal he faced in his 1.0 life. and i feel like essentially the journey of ming proving to joe 2.0 that he really does love joe is very much the central plot in the second half part of the story.

so i'd like to take this part to note how well the series has done to adapt the novel so far. i think a good adapted change they've made is this early realization of feelings for ming in the joe 1.0 timeline. i do think the novel made him realized his feelings a little bit later but my stand-in did well to show within ep.3 what happiness could have looked like for joe 1.0 and ming and i think it rationalizes a bit more more for why joe 2.0 would still have feelings for ming 'buried deep inside' even when he's been badly hurt the first time around. and reading the story i've always found it interesting that they took this route to focus on the re-entangled complex relationship between mingjoe rather than going for a joe-centric revenge makjang plot (i swear if this was your typical thai lakorn, joe would seduce ming while planning to take down his whole family or something).

of course, that's not to dismiss that there's a lot of character growth for joe in the second half of the story, especially in his building of self-confidence, self-worth, the ability to put himself first and the fight for his own happiness above all. but like i've mentioned above, his growth journey is not at the expense of a drastic personality change in regards to the kind hearted joe we saw in his 1.0 life. instead, we get kind hearted joe 2.0 who quickly adapts to his new life and attempts to start anew while conflicted feelings resurface for him as he is pulled back into the relationships he once had.

all in all, my stand-in is still at the heart of it, a love story. perhaps, a dark romance as my friend @dragonsandphoenix would call it, but a romance nonetheless. i think that is what also makes professional body double such a compelling read too, because the progression in the feelings and complex emotions of these characters are so tightly written that it's convincing enough for me (maybe not for others though) to believe that yan ming xiu has/will always love zhou xiang (to the point ymx would probably eliminate anyone else who dared to steal zx from him). obsessive love? yes. do they both need therapy? probably. yet i still believe in their happy ending? of course.

final note/disclaimer: then again, this is just my PERSONAL opinions based on the novel and up til 3 episodes of my stand-in (which seems to be very faithful to the novel so far), who knows maybe they can anger novel fans and adapt it completely differently later on (something i sure hope they don't but we'll seeeee) ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

[urdepressedslut]

Lovesick

♡ Pairing: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Platonic!Sam Wilson x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Bucky is so in love with you it hurts, and he doesn’t know if he can keep his feelings locked away from you anymore.

♡ Warnings: light angst, hints to past suicide attempt, mentions of imprisonment, fluff, bucky being oblivious and adorable

“You’re staring again… Kinda creepy.” Sam mutters to Bucky, snapping him from his thoughts. Which were all of you of course.

Bucky glanced to Sam, smiling with red cheeks at being caught gazing upon you. But he couldn’t help himself. He was so in love with you, it hurt. He was lovesick, his thoughts consumed longing for you. The lack of emotionally and physically connecting with you eating away at him.

Sam smirked at Bucky getting lost in his thoughts again, glancing from him to you with a knowing look. Bucky wasn’t one to express how he felt, but he’d confessed, and Sam knew he was falling apart.

You had come from a rough past, growing and adapting slower than most. You were kept trapped away from any human interaction for five years, which resulted in you becoming a whole different person.

Fact was you didn’t remember who you were before, you had remembered the basics, your name, parents. But that was about it. You felt like you had started over in life, but along with a fresh start you had issues that lingered.

You had been given a second chance at life some would say, but it was a life that would be tainted, haunted with ghosts from your previous one. So was it really a fresh start?

You didn’t know.

You met Sam and Bucky soon after you’d been freed of isolation. They were shocked to find out you had used to be a well respected agent, before everything happened. Feeling terrible that all your training, hard work was thrown away, now having to start all over again. Some was muscle memory, an instinct that never left you. But you found yourself re-training with the two. You found yourself healing slowly in the company of them. Of course you’d grown attached, and so did they. The three of you stuck together, a deep bond having formed.

While you and Sam had more of a sibling bond, there was something extensive about you and Bucky. He was able to empathize with you, knowing full well how badly you’d suffered, and that was something you’d grown to appreciate. Having someone able to relate, was reliving in a weird way, made you feel less alone.

Bucky had immediately liked you, admiring your strength, finding your kindness infectious. You were a rare pure soul, that didn’t deserve the suffering you’d endured. At first glance he was protective, his mother-like instinct kicking in at the sight of your skittish form.

Months had gone by, and you were doing much better. You were still a little slow, and you became overwhelmed quicker. You were to be treated with a little more care than most. Nevertheless, Sam and Bucky were proud of how far you’ve come.

“You should tell her.” Sam startled Bucky from his thoughts once again, looking over at him with a hesitant expression.

“I don’t know man… I don’t wanna pressure her. She’s been doing so well, I don’t wanna jump the gun and freak her out.” Bucky rambled on, anxiety clouding his mind.

“You aren’t going to freak her out, she loves you Buck. I can tell.” Sam assured him, no teasing tone lingering.

“You can’t know that. Have you talked to her?” Bucky wondered.

“No, but it’s hard not to think otherwise with the way she looks at you.” Sam pointed out.

“How— how does she look at me?” Bucky pushed, not believing he could be that oblivious.

Sam on the other hand, thought he was completely oblivious.

“Seriously Buck? Are you missing your eyes too?” Sam asked incredulously, “She looks at you like you’re her whole world.”

Bucky thought back to the days he’d caught you glancing at him and Sam.

“She looks at you like that too.” Bucky argued.

“It’s different… I’m like a big brother she’s never had,” Sam stated, “Then you… It’s different.”

Bucky took in Sam’s words, and he couldn’t deny that yes, you and Bucky had an amazing friendship. But he was afraid that’s all it was. His chest ached at the thought that you wouldn’t want to be something more with him.

Bucky was about to respond, when Sam interrupted him, grabbing him by his shoulder.

“Your girl is looking this way.” Sam told him, motioning his head to you.

Bucky glanced to you, his eyes meeting with yours. You were holding his gaze, your eyes warm and glowing. It’s like he had never seen it before, but now that he was gazing into your orbs, he felt like your eyes were saying a million words. It was giving him hope, that you might feel the same way.

Bucky excused himself from Sam, heading towards you. Getting closer he was careful not to interrupt the little girl talking with you, the sight making Bucky watch with fondness.

“My friend is being mean to me!” The little girl whined, crossing her arms with a huff.

“Oh, well that’s not okay. Where’s your friend?” You asked, ready to scold a kid for being rude to this sweet girl.

“She’s standing right next to you.” The little girl said as if it was obvious.

Your eyes widened slightly in horror, and glanced to either side of you, furrowing your brows in confusion when you saw no one.

“She is?” You asked her, receiving a nod, “Uh… I don’t see her.”

The little girl started laughing and you faked a smile, scratching the back of your neck.

“No one can see her, she’s invisible.” She told you with a wide grin.

You understood immediately what she was saying, and felt embarrassed that you hadn’t caught on. You weren’t used to hanging around kids, and you weren’t really good at talking to them.

“Of course, how could I forget?” You asked the girl playfully, trying to will your cheeks back to normal color.

Luckily for you, the little girl’s attention span had her running away to a group of kids, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Why did that interaction stress you out so much?

Bucky’s face hurt from how much he was smiling, but he couldn’t help it watching you talk with the little girl. Something about seeing you with kids had his stomach full of butterflies. You made him feel like a nervous school boy with a crush.

“Hey doll, making some friends?” Bucky teased you, and you met his gaze, smiling warmly at him.

“I think so, the kids are adorable.” You told him, the kids even though they were difficult sometimes, they were precious.

“You seem good with kids.” Bucky acknowledged.

“Oh not at all, I was actually very nervous. I feel like I talk to kids like they’re dumb sometimes… And I don’t mean it— Of course not, I just don’t have like any experience with kids.” You rambled on, while Bucky thought you were adorable.

“Well, don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re better with kids then I am.” He admitted, though the kids he’d seen today had taking a liking to him, which warmed his heart.

It was quiet for a moment, the two of you taking in each other’s company. Then you thought of a random question.

“Have you ever wanted kids of your own?” You asked him, your question taking him by surprise.

Bucky hadn’t always thought of the idea, but he found his mind wandering towards the idea more, ever since he’d gotten close with you. Though he assumed it was impossible, maybe back in the 40’s. But after everything that had happened with HYDRA, he wasn’t sure if his body was physically able to.

“Never really thought about it.” He lied, “You?”

“I’ve never really gave it much thought either, but it would be cool to have a mini-me running around.” You admitted, though the overall idea of kids terrified you.

Bucky smiled at the idea of a miniature you, the idea warming his heart.

“Uh, so actually… I wanted to talk to you doll.” Bucky started, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“We are talking Buck.” You said with a giggle, the sound giving Bucky butterflies.

“No no,” He chuckled, “I mean about something kinda serious. Something that I need to get off my chest.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at the word serious, watching his playful expression slowly fade.

“Oh? Is everything okay?” You asked him, growing concerned.

“Don’t worry, everything’s fine. I just wanna talk.” He assured you, calming you with his genuine expression. "Come on, let's go on Sam's boat."

Bucky grabbed your hand, helping you stand. The two of you walked onto the boat.

You immediately started fiddling around with the helm of the boat, pretending to be at sea. Bucky watched with heart eyes, leaning against the doorway.

“You know…” He started, getting your attention, “I’m super proud of you. For how far you’ve come.”

You smiled at his praise.

“Wouldn’t be here without you.” You told him truthfully, he was your rock. Sam too of course. But Bucky was special.

“I’m always gonna be here to help ya, but you gotta give yourself some credit.” He stated.

“I do…” You started to argue.

“(Y/n)…”

“No I do,” You trailed off, getting serious all of a sudden, “But sometimes I think back when things were pretty bad and… Well you were there. I really do mean it— I wouldn’t be here without you.”

Bucky immediately knew what you were talking about, and he cursed his mind for remembering the haunting image so vividly. You had been at a very low point in your recovery, and you tried taking yourself out of this world. His world. His hands clinging onto your crimson covered wrists was an eye opener, that he didn’t want to live in a world where you didn’t exist. The very thought horrifying him to his core, his body frozen with dread.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bring it up I just—”

“No no, don’t apologize doll,” His voice wavered, “Just hate that you ever felt that way is all.”

Despite rehashing over rough memories, you couldn’t help your chest from feeling warm, seeing Bucky care so much about you, had you feeling fuzzy. He had been so protective over you since that day, and some would call it overbearing, but you found yourself feeling safe. You knew Bucky would stop anyone from even blowing a breath of air your way if that meant you’d be in danger.

Bucky recognized that warm glow in your eyes again, as you gazed into his. He took a deep breath, seeing as this was his best chance.

“(Y/n), I like you… A lot.“ He rushed out, and you were still smiling, no shock shown on your face.

“I like you a lot too Buck.” You shot back, stepping away from the helm and closer to him.

“You— Really?” He wondered if this was all his imagination.

Sam was right? Psh, no way.

“Really Buck. I’m not good at expressing emotions— feelings, or any of that stuff. But I do know that I always want to be with you, I always want you around, even if we aren’t talking to each other. Just knowing you’re near is enough.” You confessed, hoping that what you said made sense.

By the look on Bucky’s face, you assumed you said just the right thing.

“Doll, I’m crazy about you. You’ve got me wrapped around your tiny little finger, I’m yours.” He told you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you to his chest.

“Buck?” You whispered, cupping his face with your small hands, feeling him lean into your touch.

“Yes doll?” He whispered back, looking at you like you were his entire world.

Well, because you were.

“I think I love you.” You told him shyly, your cheeks reddening.

Bucky’s heart nearly gave out at your words, but he couldn’t help the overwhelming rush of joy that your confession had given him.

“I think I love you too doll.”

A/N: my ideas come to me at the most random times, this one came to me a couple days ago while I was eating cereal 🥴🤷🏻‍♀️

[sexyleon]

Dracula has been my favourite novel for just under two decades and I have reread it multiple times throughout the years, but nothing compares to the experience of @re-dracula . Something about hearing the voices of all the characters, experiencing the horror as it happened to them, is more chilling, more compelling, and more terrifying than any other reading experience. Nothing is filled in and nothing is cut out. It’s a 1:1 adaptation that places you between predator and prey. The voice acting, the sound design, the pacing— all of it lends itself to a completely immersive experience that transforms Dracula from a silly little vampire story into a fundamentally horrifying tale.

Anyways, you can listen to Re: Dracula here.

[queerfables]

Taking away the glass?

Oh gosh I'm actually so keen to talk about this so thank you for the opening!

Context: Responding to akaitsukicat's artwork of Crowley and Aziraphale separated by a glass wall, I said that the reason we're all such wrecks over their kiss is because after 6000 years in canon and 33 years in real life, that kiss was "taking away the glass".

The glass is a metaphor that media scholar Henry Jenkins uses to explain the appeal of slash, originally published in 1993. Here, "slash" refers to queer re-interpretation of heterosexual media, including transformative works exploring those readings.

This is what Jenkins says about the glass:

When I try to explain slash to non-fans, I often reference that moment in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan where Spock is dying and Kirk stands there, a wall of glass separating the two longtime buddies. Both of them are reaching out towards each other, their hands pressed hard against the glass, trying to establish physical contact. They both have so much they want to say and so little time to say it. Spock calls Kirk his friend, the fullest expression of their feelings anywhere in the series. Almost everyone who watches the scene feels the passion the two men share, the hunger for something more than what they are allowed. And, I tell my nonfan listeners, slash is what happens when you take away the glass. The glass, for me, is often more social than physical; the glass represents those aspects of traditional masculinity which prevent emotional expressiveness or physical intimacy between men, which block the possibility of true male friendship. Slash is what happens when you take away those barriers and imagine what a new kind of male friendship might look like. One of the most exciting things about slash is that it teaches us how to recognize the signs of emotional caring beneath all the masks by which traditional male culture seeks to repress or hide those feelings.

The vid I refer to, inspired by Jenkin's comments, is The Glass by thingswithwings. It's a beautiful vid, sad and hopeful and empowering, with a very moving commentary on fandom history. It was originally published in 2008, which is relevant to understanding the position it takes in the dialogue around queer relationships in media.

Here's thingswithwings' summary of the vid, as it appears on YouTube:

Henry Jenkins, speaking of the Spock death scene from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, said, "slash is what happens when you take away the glass." It has been said, in response, that death also happens when you take away the glass. ie, if you took away the glass Kirk would die of radiation poisoning too; the barrier between desiring men cannot be removed on pain of death. Homosexuality, or just loving touch between two people of the same gender, is equivalent to death in this media narrative. One of the interesting things about slash is the way it takes away the glass, then puts it back, then takes it away, then puts it back, often pleasurably. I think this is both problematic and powerful. It is problematic because it reasserts the impossibility of the touch (it fetishizes oppression in a negative manner); it is powerful - and good - because it dwells on and thinks about and removes the glass (it fetishizes oppression in a transformative manner). One of the interesting things about mainstream media is that it continues to put the glass back up, no matter how hard we try to tear it down. Queer desiring touches have been, and remain, imaginable but impossible. TL;DR ALTERNATE SUMMARY: THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME KIND OF INVISIBLE BARRIER IDK WHAT IT MIGHT BE

In regards to Good Omens, it's relevant that this entire conversation about homosocial relationships in media takes place within the 29 year period between the publication of Good Omens the book and the adaptation of the story to screen. The vid was created 15 years ago - which is to say 18 years after the book was published and 11 years before season 1 was released - and it talks about realised queer desire in mainstream media as being so impossible that it is equivalent to death. That is the kind of resistance that queer representation in pop culture has been up against, these last three decades.

Crowley/Aziraphale, as depicted in the book, is such a classic example of slash. I've seen some people who read the book in a contemporary context saying they didn't necessarily pick up on any subtext between the characters, and I suspect this is a mark of cultural expectations. Firstly, because the cultural references that the intentional subtext relies on have become obscured over time - see Neil Gaiman's explanation of the "consenting cycle repairmen" line. But more importantly because the audience's frame of reference for unintentional subtext has shifted, too. What is unsayable and which silences are emotionally loaded has changed over time. Even if you are intentionally using a queer lens in your reading, you might not see subtext in the same places that someone would even 10 years ago.

For example, take this passage from the book:

On the whole, neither [Aziraphale] nor Crowley would have chosen each other's company, but they were both men, or at least men-shaped creatures, of the world, and the Arrangement had worked to their advantage all this time. Besides, you grew accustomed to the only other face that had been around more or less consistently for six millennia.

On it's face, this line suggests that the relationship between the two of them is a matter of convenience more than desire. Maybe that's the intended reading and maybe that's how it started or how they justify their association to themselves, but taken together with how deeply they know each other and how they are always each other's first thought in a crisis, suddenly "neither would have chosen the other's company" sounds like an extremely British way to say they care about each other far more than they were supposed to. Plus, this is Aziraphale's take on their relationship, and it plays rather beautifully against Crowley's much simpler expression of the exact same sentiment:

Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.

To go back to Henry Jenkin's wise words, what we're seeing here is Aziraphale thinking about Crowley through the glass - through the "aspects of traditional masculinity which prevent emotional expressiveness or physical intimacy between men". If you came up in slash fandom at a time when seeing queer relationships in canon was unthinkable, you probably find it easier to identify the gap between how Aziraphale thinks about his relationship with Crowley and how their relationship actually functions. That gap was where a lot of slash lived.

You might say that the book shows Crowley and Aziraphale watching each other through the glass, and season 1 is them pressing up against it. They're still prevented from showing the full depth of feeling between them, they still hunger for more than they're allowed, but they are reaching for it. We see the history of their relationship developing through the ages. The unsayable is still left unsaid, but we feel the weight of it in everything they do. They come so very close but they still can't cross that threshold.

And then there's season 2. Within the text, Crowley and Aziraphale are not just pressing against the glass, they're actively trying to dismantle it. They're searching for a door to the other side. They're inspecting for weak points where they could cut their way through. And then suddenly they're out of time and out of options and the glass is still between them, and there's nothing they can do.

As the audience, you feel that desperation. You feel that grief. And if you're someone who's been watching the glass go back up on every relationship you thought might stand a chance of tearing it down, it hits hard. You're longing vicariously with the characters, but you're longing for yourself too, to see queer desire made possible. To see queer touch made not just imaginable but real.

And then, with all hope lost, Crowley throws himself through the glass. It doesn't matter that it doesn't save them. They kiss and it changes everything. Queer desire is no longer up for debate. Queer touch is no longer impossible. They kiss and the glass shatters, entirely and irrevocably.

This is why it matters so much that they did kiss, even though the love between them was already undeniable. For thirty years, Crowley and Aziraphale were part of a media landscape that relentlessly reinforced the glass at every turn and flooded fatal radiation through any crack they couldn't fix. In a different context, that kiss would be less vital to affirming their relationship. But in the world we live in, with the specific history that this story has, I don't think anything else could have done what it did. The glass between these characters had been reinforced over decades, in a culture that made the barriers to open intimacy between men inescapable. Their kiss was what it took to break it.

And by shattering the glass, this story has fundamentally rewritten what is possible. It proves the rules preventing true affection between people of the same gender can be defied. Queer people are already becoming more visible in pop culture; we're no longer reliant on slash reimagining queer longing between heterosexual leads. But Crowley and Aziraphale's kiss is cathartic and vindicating in an entirely different way. It turns slash into intentional queerness. It takes a fetishisation of oppression vacillating between problematic and transformative, and finally stands up on the side of powerful, empowering transformation. It confronts the barriers that once rendered this desiring touch impossible, and breaks through them once and for all.

That's what taking away the glass means. That's what Good Omens did.

[sangoundercover]

Someone asked me how I draw faces a couple months ago and I never had a good example to show so here‘s a little snippet and some text about how I think while drawing:

I always make a copy of my first sketch in case i mess up. Sometimes I try to do a clean up on a new layer, and it doesn‘t always work out. Not because the lines or anatomy is bad, but because i lost focus and with that I lost the gesture/energy and emotion of the original sketch.

Don‘t try to fix what‘s not broken. When that happens I go back to my original sketch and start again, often I draw straight on that same sketch layer, trying to carefully clean it up, staying zoomed out to stay focused on gesture and emotion instead of zooming in and only seeing individual lines. There‘s no need to completely redraw something on a new lineart layer if the original sketch looks already good.

Other factors can play in too (first drawing of the day, not warmed up, tired after long day) So don‘t force yourself into thinking your first attempt has to work out.

Bonus:

Learning when to stop and start over is not just good for faces, it‘s something that helped me improve at drawing in general, be able to draw faster and more efficiently. I started to adapt this years ago when I drew a lot of short comics.

This is especially useful if you tend to get stuck on specific parts on drawings e.g. one part of a face looks wrong and then you erase,re-draw,erase, re-draw -> repeat for an hour and get frustrated. (i think we‘ve all been there)

This is where you have to learn to STOP and START OVER. Recognizing the frustration cycle before it can happen. Re-Drawing the whole face/thing from scratch instead will often get you better results than trying to „fix“ a single sketch for hours. The longer you spend trying to fix a sketch the less likely you will want to start over because you already put so much time into it.

People often ask me how I draw a lot/fast and this is a big part of how☝️ Learn to stop early and start over if something doesn’t work instead of getting hyperattached to every single line you draw.

[re-dracula]

Welcome to Re: Dracula

We're a bite-sized audio adaptation of the horror classic. Think Dracula Daily for your ears!

Re: Dracula takes the famous horror tale, breaks it up chronologically (every entry of this epistolary novel has a date), and sends the story directly to your podcatcher as it happens. Every time something happens to the characters, Re: Dracula will publish an episode, in real time.

This audio drama is a faithful adaptation of the story we know and love, featuring a full cast to tug on your heartstrings and sound design to keep you on the edge of your seat. Content warnings will be present at the top of episodes, where needed.

We're currently working on a adaption of Carmilla, funded via our Patreon and set to air spring 2025.

Places to Listen:

Re: Dracula Website: redracula.live

Podlink (Links to all the apps!): pod.link/1679833472 

Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/6Mu1ME2CmFi7MpU0YrXcpx 

Youtube Channel: www.youtube.com/@redracula

Megaphone: cms.megaphone.fm/channel/BDA1314847644 

More Links:

Patreon: www.patreon.com/redracula

Ad Free Feed: bloodyfm.supportingcast.fm/products/re-dracula-1

Merch: store.dftba.com/collections/re-dracula

Website: www.ReDracula.live

Bloody Disgusting Website: www.Bloody-Disgusting.com

People are saying...

"I consider this to be the best adaptation of the work out there."

"Above and beyond in every single level."

"If I could I would eat this podcast."

"Dracula has never been more frightening."

"Nobody touch me I'm in a glass box of emotion."

"11/10. Flawless. Perfection. It did not have to go that hard but by the gods it was worth it."

Re: Dracula debuted at #2 on the fiction podcast charts, has seen over two million downloads, and was featured on Tumblr's 2023 year in review. Tor.com called it "a spectacular podcast."

Other Fun Stuff:

Transcript Folder: drive.google.com/drive/folders/1DJjLkhbax-HSyxszufNGQRXXOv8EBQIz 

Patreon Store (Digital Merch): www.patreon.com/redracula/shop 

Spotify Music Playlist: open.spotify.com/playlist/13uD34J7xQrTl9Ym8VbDmn

Youtube Channel: www.youtube.com/@redracula

Tal's Ko-Fi Shop: ko-fi.com/talminear/shop

Re: Dracula Tea (proceeds to charity): www.adagio.com/signature_blend/blend.html?blend=210196

Notion Template (by bluefireferrets): bluefireferrets.gumroad.com/l/Re-Dracula-Notion-template

Zazzle (silly merch): www.zazzle.com/store/re_dracula

Tal's Bandcamp (misc songs): sidequesting.bandcamp.com/ 

Newt's Bandcamp (misc songs): newtonschottelkotte.bandcamp.com 

[nib-mettaton]

(FYI: Comic shouldn't imply that classic Mettaton is suffering from emotional neglect. Headcanon is just headcanon. :P)

A short comic of Nib!Mettaton making good use of free therapy offered by Mettaton!Stitch (i.e. Stitch taking the shape of a Mettaton). Nib unpacking his emotional baggage was an idea I had for some time, but I couldn't figure out the best scenario where he would do it. And then I saw the Stitch AU and thought, yeah, he would eventually hear about Stitch's free therapy services through the cyberspace grapevine and try it out.

Credit where credit is due: Mettaton!Stitch is from the @stitchau by @centfornothing

There was supposed to be some stitching right in the middle of Stitch's face, but apparently my scanner did not pick up well on that. Also the scan of the last page went wonky and I'm too lazy to re-scan. Scanner troubles be troublesome. ಠ_ಠ

Slowly getting back into the groove of making more comics after the life debacles of the past two years. I had to adjust my comic-making process to adapt to certain life changes, so the comic style is experimental; let me know if the text is too small for the Tumblr dashboard.

Older readers might recognize the dialogue from the "Overgrown" chapter (from 2021!) and this minicomic happens sometime after the events on "Overgrown". I like to design my comics so that new readers can jump in easily without having to read any of the older stuff. But if you're new and want to know more (or if you're an old reader and need a refresher), more thoughts under the cut:

In "Overgrown", Reed!Flowey is the one who originally says that the reason for doing good things doesn't matter so long as the result is good. At one point, Nib and Reed have a bit of a spat, causing Reed to go onto a tantrum, and Nib throws back this same answer at Reed to get him to calm down.

But needless to say, that's viewpoint on being a good person makes more logical sense for Reed (because he can't feel most emotions) versus someone like Nib (whose actions would be emotionally driven).

There was going to be more explanation to where Nib's emotional neglect stemmed from. Essentially, it would be revealed that Nib's sense of emotional neglect was related to working at the farm at an early age. Basically, he was discouraged from things he really wanted to do due to farmwork, and most positive reactions was often tied to doing things for other people or just (i.e. being responsible) doing a good job.

Hence, he would sometimes have a hard time distinguishing when doing something good for himself is healthy/neutral versus something selfish/hurtful, as well as have a hard time telling people "no" or speaking up when a healthy boundary would need to be set.

But the mini-comic was meant to be experimental process, there was no way I could unpack all this info in three pages. Maybe in another comic.

[murderandcoffee]

okay so. here are my thoughts on the characters we've been re-introduced to.

celia, gerry, gertrude, and georgie exist in this universe. those are facts. however, we do not know which versions of them they are. the possibilities, however, give us some insight into how the whole situation works.

celia: high chance that she's the original celia from the tmaverse (member of melanie and georgie's cult, trapped in the not!them's domain, previously told the institute about her experience with a flaming ghost) and was carried over when the fears left her world. if that's the case, then she's probably had some time to adapt and establish herself, as she has found a job at the OIAR and befriended georgie. nonetheless, still possible that this is a different version of celia, who has been in this universe from the start. if so, that calls into question how she met georgie and got interested in the institute.

gerry and gertrude: definitely not the original ones. we have proof that this gerry has been here for decades (his time at the institute). also, both he and gertrude were confirmed dead in the tmaverse. these versions of them must then be originally from this world. this confirms (with like... 95% confidence, on my part) that there ARE versions of at least SOME people in both worlds.

georgie: I am inclined to believe that she, like gerry and gertrude, is the protocolverse's version of herself, NOT the original tmaverse version. I say this because we heard her after the fears left her world. we don't know if the gap at hilltop road remained open, but as of mag200 she was still in her original world after the fears disappeared. if the georgie we heard about today IS the original georgie, then she would have had to find a way across worlds. if she did that, then I see no reason why celia would be researching time travel, multiple dimensions, and the like--surely georgie would have at least some answers for her. thus, I think that this is a different georgie--this world's version of her. likely a version who can feel fear (but I wouldn't be surprised if something else had happened to her along those lines).

so with this, we know that there are multiple versions of people (at least some people--we don't know if that's the case for everyone, and if I'm being honest, I really doubt it) across universes. however, we don't know how many similarities their lives in the protocolverse bear to their lives in the tmaverse. gerry had a much different experience with the institute and gertrude is not the archivist, but georgie still has her podcast.

the one really interesting part is celia--if this IS the tmaverse celia, then how did she get here? was she caught in the tide that swept the fears through the gap in reality at hilltop road? if so, were there others--people who helped bring down the tower? if not, how DID she get here?

I'm intrigued to see what we learn about each of these versions of people, and what comes to light as we learn more.