#is. so fucking incredible.
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woke up to an email from ao3 alerting me to a new comment on tsnm that immediately made me burst into tears
#the fact that that fic is still reaching people#especially people for whom it has become SO tangible and personal#is. so fucking incredible.#i was. what. 21? 20? when i wrote it#and it was the biggest and most ambitious project i had ever worked on#and by far the most public#and it’s easy now for me to see the flaws all these years later#but there was really so much love and so much care put into it#and . that people can return to it so many years later#and find new things to resonate with and find new comfort in it#means. so fucking much to me.#remember writing???? remember the thing that is the most meaningful and fulfilling thing i can do on the earth???#GOD.#izzy.txt
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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Listen, Otto realizing that he helped put a moron on the Iron Throne and then going through the five stages of grief before dipping is peak comedy, bro really fucked around and then found out.
#thoroughly enjoyed today's episode#helaena babygirl i'm so so sorry for all of this#also apparently you can't spell delusional without criston cole#all my homies hate criston cole#also rhaenyra this episode?? emma d'arcy the actor that you are#and i would in fact let olivia cooke slap me#also peak acting from her goddamn the acting is just incredible this season#also THE FUCKING STITCHES ON THE BABY'S NECK BRO#fishgills speaks#house of the dragon#hotd#house of the dragon season 2#hotd season 2#hotd spoilers#spoilers#house of the dragon spoilers
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Ahmed Saad, a Palestinian man who had to jump through an insane amount of loops to get the funds necessary for escaping Gaza, is asking us all to donate to his friend’s family fund.
Mohamed is a hemophilia patient who needs access to medicine and to do surgery on his knees, his 11-year-old daughter also needs thigh surgery (she was supposed to do it outside Gaza in November but couldn't travel due to the border issues). Mohammed’s condition is worsening rapidly and, with Israel destroying the last functional hospital in Gaza, things are looking dire.
Please donate generously!
#Ahmed has truly an incredibly empathetic soul#and Israel is so ludicrously and inconceivably evil#there were 36 hospitals in the Gaza Strip four months ago and now there are none#these fucking monsters deserve nothing#so please feel for the Palestinians desperate to leave and get help#you can make a difference in a persons life today#please donate generously#palestine#free Palestine#call to action#from the river to the sea#free gaza#free West Bank
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okay but can we talk abt the minecraft movie’s complete erasure of the personality of steve???? like that is not even steve minecraft that is just fucking jack black with a blue shirt on.
have yall have seen the cinematic trailers for mc updates? steve literally has a completely different personality. steve is just a silly lil guy. hes just a curious dude who loves building and exploring! hes not jack black, or a wackjob who went crazy from being isolated for too long. he loves and parktakes happily in the world hes in.
i know we only saw one real scene, but i can already tell that jack black is not going to be playing steve minecraft, he is just going to be playing jack black. its so intensely disappointing when they had the opportunity to employ a new actor to bring to light like. imo steve minecraft should have been cast as just an average looking guy. just some random dude. BC THATS LITERALLY WHAT HE IS.
anyways tdlr the real steve minecraft just simply just a lil guy and he is NOT JACK BLACK
#minecraft#minecraft movie#minecraft the movie#rant#ishi talk tag#also WHERE TF IS ALEX???? WHAT IS THIS ALEX ERASURE#there was so so SO much potential for the minecraft movie to be gorgeous and incredible and they just.#they just fucked it.
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INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 1x2 After the Phantoms of Your Former Self
—You should just throw me in the incinerator, make another one. —Hm. And what a waste that would be.
#does anyone else think they fucked after this and before they went to the opera#AAUUUUUUUGH SJFKHKSDFJHKDFHDK#you've got to hand it to lestat he is being so incredibly sweet here#even though louis just dismissed the notion of them being family#he really is doing his best to make his sadsack husband feel better#i love him#and i love louis being adorable with his handkerchief#I LOVE THEM#loustat#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#amc iwtv#iwtv#amc interview with the vampire#my iwtv gifs#my gifs
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FUNNIEST fucking shit that comes with making Danny eleven years old when he had his accident in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" is the implication following, that everything that happened in the show did too. And I fully intend on (mostly) keeping it like that. There'll be some changes (of which I need to figure out) but for the most part??? Yeah relatively the same.
Like I FULLY intend on keeping Dark Danny occurring 6 months post accident. Do you know how fucking HILARIOUS that is??? That Dan got his ass kicked by a goddamn FIFTH-SIXTH GRADER?? I'd never show my face ever again. Homeboy spent the last ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, only to get his ass beat by a kid who hasn't even lost his last baby tooth. That's hysterical. I'm losing my mind just thinking about it.
AND PARIAH DARK TOO. Imagine being an eons old tyrant capable of dragging whole towns down into your dimension, and you get singehandedly shoved back into your coffin in less than 48 hours by a kid whose bedtime is still 8:30. You didn't even have the time to expand your army! You were still trying to take over the city the kid came from!
And he just!!! Shoves you back in!! Insane! This kid hasn't even been dead for a full year yet! He's still growing in his ghost fangs! And he just knocked you flat on your ass in an oversized mech suit. What the fuck! It's like looking down and seeing a four week old kitten meowing very indignantly at you and trying to bite your feet, except that kitten is also actually a black-footed cat and they have a 60% kill success rate, and oops! Now you're dead. You took too long laughing at the kitten trying to attack you that it clawed up your pant leg and ripped out your throat.
COULD I, realistically, span these episodes out over the course of 2.5 years prior to Danny's family dying?? Yes I could! Do I think it's hilarious (and horribly traumatizing, which makes it twice as fun) to shove all of this into the span of (roughly) a year instead?? Yes. Because the show has such a skewed timeline that I've always just assumed that at the end of the show, Danny was starting his sophomore year in high school. So fuck it, lets go for it!
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#blood blossom au#my fic#danny fenton#danny phantom#if i REALLY want to get into it i'll have to look at the show's episode synopsis and pick and choose which episodes happen when in the year#maybe pull a scarlet lady and have some of the season 1 episodes happen further down the line instead. but i can do that later. for now#come laugh with me at the mental image of teeny 11 year old danny curbstomping ghosts twice is size and thrice his weight.#bruce is watching old footage from the phantom fights in amity and going 'HNN' in increasing concern. he's got his hands folded and his#chin in his hands and he's going (ಠ_ಠ) with his face and he has SO many questions and concerns. for many. many different reasons#first of all he's incredibly upset that danny had to go through this at all in the first place. like no kid should've gone thru this alone#but he. is also. very very softly. going *'what the fuck...'*
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#tv: star trek: deep space nine#ds9edit#trekedit#julian bashir#elim garak#garashir#what was the reason?#what was i supposed to get out of this?#that they're madly in love?#that they're married?#that they're meant to be together forever?#well if so mission fucking accomplished#they were always married#anyway they're in love#how incredibly straight said no one#things i made
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Forgotten Friendship is the best piece of MLP media no substitutes. It's a gift that keeps on giving
#sunset shimmer#trixie lulamoon#forgotten friendship#pony posting#that special has so much good shit on it#the fact that things are so bleak that sunset has to rely on TRIXIE OF ALL PEOPLE#is fucking hilarious#equestria girls#mlp#ah forgotten friendship is the BEST.#my little pony#has every good thing#gen 4#mlp fim#twiset scitwi somehow suntrix lmao#incredible#AND wallflower blush one of the most interestin antagonists
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of course brennan’s vip ep was an art house film about the metaphor of the self through the lens of false dream logic and time loops delivered by a wild man from the woods who is also a physicist from Newfoundland who carries around rocks in a briefcase that he has to hatch and doesn’t know the word alligator but does know the words centrifugal force and is afraid of bowls. of course.
#the IMMEDIATE lore. incredible#he and Vic were an incredible duo oh my god djdjshjskskd so fucking funny#brennan lee mulligan#vip#very important people#dropout
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Something something Mumbo's hair turned grey and he didn't even mention it and in the exact same episode he introduces the science lab that he had originally said was meant for him to investigate the strange happening of the server but was actually introduced to be a corporate lab looking into the idea of immortality and is letting waste runoff poison the farmlands of the town he has referred to as being like the hometown for his minecraft character. He was meant to be looking into strange happenings that he worries might be 'too late' to solve if left to fester. The lab itself is causing strange happenings. They are poisoning the town. Mumbo's hair is turning grey. The merch drops seemed to imply that the Grumbot AI originated in this town, was made by Big Ron and passed down to Mumbo, who went on to improve it throughout his time on hermitcraft. The company mentions their work in AI in relation to their work in the field of immortality. Mumbo remains working there despite seeming to know what they're doing to this town that he seems to care about deeply. They are researching immortality. His hair is turning grey. Do you. Do you see what I'm seeing.
#mumbo jumbo character lore gets fucked up?? gets so incredibly fucked up???#my man. WHAT.#feeling so so normal about the implications of all this#mumbo jumbo#hc s10#hermitcraft
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glinda running away screaming and crying and then standing against the wall and closing her eyes and waiting for death... elphaba saw firsthand how much of a TERRIBLE fugitive glinda would've been and was still like mmm yes please come with me we'll be the greatest team there's ever been. she loves glinda so dearly.
#gelphie#wicked movie#rambles#glinda covering her ears and then closing her eyes... my sweet autistic baby was just overstimulated leave her alone!!#elphaba is soooo fucking down bad for this girl#she saw this incredible stunt and was like yeah she can 100% help me overthrow the government#GOD glinda would've been so bad on the run and yet elphaba would not have regretted it even once#if anything she would've regretted taking glinda away from her comfort zone because now glinda is Struggling 24/7#but she wouldn't regret having glinda by her side#because having glinda by her side matters more than anything!!#she loves her so much hello can anyone hear me
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mouthwashing post. jimmy is a raging narcissist and im tired of people trying to give him benefit of the doubt. his inability to see two feet beyond what immediately concerns him dooms everyone on the tulpar, and even in the end, he only really cares about himself.
big list of all his narcisstic bullshit below bc im here to motherfucking prove it (mouthwashing spoilers of course)
most obviously: everything is a personal attack on him. EVERYTHING. you can see it most clearly at the birthday party; while everyone else is understandably freaking out about being laid off, jimmy starts telling curly off and insulting both him and everyone else at the table, as if being laid off is a personal attack on jimmy specifically. it doesn’t matter that anya has nothing to go back to, that swansea’s life is thrown away- jimmy is the ONLY victim here, apparently. curly is personally responsible for getting laid off, in his eyes.
i don’t actually know the words for this but the way he’s constantly going “i have to do EVERYTHING around here”- again, feeling like its a personal attack to be asked anything at all. anya asks him to take care of curly because her entire fucking life is falling apart, its her end of days, but somehow shes the villain for struggling.
also the general antagonization of anya. she’s extremely competent for the hand she was dealt! shes too poor to attend med school yet shes very knoqledgable in medication and wound care! and yeah no shit shes struggling now, someone she cared deeply about is suffering immensely and now the ship is being “run” by a man who assaulted her. no fucking shit shes breaking down. but jimmy makes it clear time and time again that this is somehow her fault, all this shit of “shouldn’t nurses EARN their titles?” while she’s having a mental breakdown.
similarly, swansea being villainized for holding the cryopod for daisuke and killing him. like, i get it, but jimmy’s whole thing of saying he can fix daisuke is… c’mon man. he’s a hero to himself, he “always” fixes things the same way he “fixed” the ship, and he will fix daisuke and claim heroism even though it’s very clear nothing else can be done for him.
“someday you’ll thank me” while forcing curly to eat his own leg. the incredible confidence that he is in the right even when literally torturing someone.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: the final scene with curly burning. jimmy doesn’t earnestly believe he has anything to be sorry for. even when apologizing to curly he says “we can BOTH be heroes!” despite everything, he still thinks he’s in the right. he STILL thinks he’s a hero, because he’s right, he’s ALWAYS right, surely. he can apologize and grovel all he wants but in the end he still thinks he’s the hero of this story; he doesn’t genuinely think he has anything to right, he’s only doing this to be freed of consequence. and/or believes a simple “sorry��� is enough, that it can fix completely ruining the lives of four people with his own inferiority complex.
i do think the choice to put curly in the pod instead of himself is the only time he recognizes his own guilt, if any. maybe it’s realizing that he DOES need something more than a simple “sorry” to even begin to try to fix things, maybe it’s that he thinks this will cement him even further as a hero. even then, does this fix anything? all it’s doing is making curly suffer more. is this actually a good thing?
to him, he’s the hero here. he always is. crashing the ship is a heroic thing, putting all his crewmates through hell is a heroic thing. all because something nobody can control is somehow a personal attack on jimmy.
not to mention all the “hallucinations” he has- it’s what he thinks should happen, it’s what he wants to hear. curly still calling him a friend, the dead corpses of his crewmates praising him, even in the final cutscene with curly burning where he says “no, YOU take the pod”. none of it’s real. it’s just what jimmy thinks is “right”. despite everything, he thinks everyone should thank and praise him, because he can do no wrong.
conclusion: jimmy is a narcisstic piece of shit.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#sorry not sorry for being so incredibly fucking passionate abt this#its partially bc. if im being real! i see a lot of my narcisstic mother in jimmy. like almost one to one#so im really really angry abt him.
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Part of something, once (but in a practical sense, all that matters is whether theseus still recognizes the ship)
#doodles#great god grove#comic#gettin real annoying with these titles#thats not an apology thats whatever the opposite of one is#anyway. so like. have we talked about thE FUCKING TAIL BEING TAPED ON??????#IVE BEEN GOING LOWGRADE CRAZY OVER IT FOR WEEKS NOW#HE NEEDS TO BE WITH PEOPLE SO SO MUCH BUT HE THINKS HES SO DAMN UNIQUE AND MAYBE THAT! MADE HIM! LOOK LIKE THAT!#incredible toothpaste boy!! he can bend in whatever shape u need!!! bc theres no longer anything of substance in there!!!!#Only What's Useful :)#mooney if youre reading this im blaming you#ggg spoilers
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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she's middle aged. she's a serial killer. she insults a god to its face. she's a failed sacrifice. she's aromantic. she's a poor little meow meow. she's unkillable. she's so tired. she's god's favorite and she desperately wishes she wasn't. she's mean. she cares about people more than anything but doesn't want to be around them. she loves pancakes. i didn't say a name but she popped into your head didn't she?
#carpenter glass#tsv#the silt verses#i say it all the time but believe me when i say. carpenter glass is truly theeee character of all time#i fucking love her so much#one of the best written characters ive ever seen tbh. and ofc voice acting was incredible too
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