#is. alarming. but also exciting. i think.

[weirdkpopgirl]

only kissing you | jaemin fic #4

title: only kissing you

genre: college au, friends to lovers

warnings: slight angst, (y/n) is a little negative-minded, mildly suggestive, descriptions of kissing

word count: ~2.5k

author's note: hey guys, this was an idea that just sprang to my mind a week ago. i know the kissing booth trope has been done before and it might be a little cliché, but this is my take on it. also, i have a feeling you guys like this type of stuff lol. anyway, happy reading ^ ^

side note: "sunbae" is a Korean honorific for "senior." i wrote this story with the setting of the characters attending a korean university in mind.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

You were sitting in the library peacefully finishing up an assignment that wasn’t due for another week. Yet you told yourself that staying ahead on schoolwork was far more productive than what most girls on campus were up to. The lively giggles echoing through the hallway reached your ears, drawing a quiet sigh of annoyance from you. 

“Someone doesn’t sound too happy,” the familiar playful voice of Zhong Chenle brought you out of your thoughts.

Glancing up from your laptop, you found the dark-haired male in a basketball jersey grinning down at you. Unsurprisingly, standing beside him was Park Jisung, a tall yet shy boy who had recently dyed his hair cherry red after losing a bet with Lee Haechan.

Your cheeks flushed when Chenle called you out, but you quickly tried to mask it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied, feigning indifference by crossing your arms.

Unfortunately, Chenle wasn’t someone you could easily fool—  especially considering that he was able to crack through your reserved exterior by the end of your freshman year. Even now as sophomores, he could decipher your mannerisms better than your own family.

“Uh-huh,” Chenle replied, not sounding very convinced. “I think the fact that you’re like the only person here on a Friday night says otherwise.”

Jisung chuckled nervously, “Hey, let’s not peer pressure her.”

“Peer pressure me into what?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. Your suspicion deepened when you caught the spark of mischief in Chenle’s eyes.

“Into going to the student council’s kissing booth, of course,” Chenle then answered, as if it were obvious. 

The mention of the fundraiser instantly set off alarm bells in your mind. “I still can’t believe Mark actually approved of that,” you muttered, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Well, Haechan managed to convince him,” Jisung said with a shrug. “And it is a pretty great way to raise money.”

You didn’t need to question further to know what he was referring to. Ever since the pink flyers with animated kiss marks had gone up, the campus had been buzzing with excited squeals from every girl on campus. Not that you could blame them when the line-up featured some of NCIT’s campus heartthrobs. 

Chenle lightly nudged you on the shoulder. “You should go (Y/n). Na Jaemin will be there, you know.”

“Yeah and that’s exactly why I don’t want to go,” you exhaled, tapping on the mousepad of your laptop to wake up the screen. 

Even though you dropped your gaze, the guys didn’t miss the way your cheeks started to turn red. For they were both aware of the “small” crush you had on the junior majoring in biomedicine. You cursed internally, wishing you were better at hiding your emotions. 

Out of all the popular boys at NCIT, Jaemin was known to be the most attractive with countless fangirls. While you weren’t nearly as dramatic as them, you were not spared from falling for him. To be fair, you hadn’t paid much attention to him at first. It wasn’t until this semester when Chenle started dragging you to join his group hangouts, that you began to see Jaemin more often. 

And it didn’t take long for you to understand why all those girls loved him. Na Jaemin was the definition of a gentleman. He was always respectful, holding doors open for you, and unfailingly kind in the way he maintained steady eye contact whenever he spoke to you. Not to mention his ridiculously long eyelashes that only added to his flirtatious charm. 

Although Jaemin seemed aware of how attractive he was, he never came across as cocky about it. However, when you found out he was participating in the kissing booth, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d misjudged him. Maybe he was just like every other guy after all.

Noticing the disheartened look on her face, her friends quickly tried to reassure her. “Hey, it’s not that bad,” Chenle said. 

“Yeah, they’re only giving out kisses on the cheek!” Jisung piped in.

Knowing that didn’t make you feel better. The thought of Jaemin, your sweet, kind Sunbae, kissing other girls—  even if it was just on the cheek—  made your chest ache in a way you couldn’t fully explain. Perhaps you were being selfish. It wasn’t like you were in a relationship with him or anything. He had the freedom to kiss whomever he pleased. 

You let your gaze fall to the table. “It’s not a big deal. I’m just not interested in going, okay?”

Chenle and Jisung exchanged a knowing look, one that you didn’t quite catch. Despite their teasing, they could tell this bothered you more than you were willing to admit. But they weren’t about to let you sit here and wallow.

“Look, you don’t have to get in line or anything,” Chenle persisted. “Just come with us to check it out. We don’t even have to stay for that long if you don’t want to.”

Jisung nodded, chiming in with a shy smile. “Yeah, we’ll stick together. Plus, Renjun Hyung said they’ll be giving out free snacks too!”

Their lighthearted banter and genuine effort to put you at ease chipped away at your resolve. Nibbling on your lower lip, you pondered whether it was worth the risk of seeing Jaemin. At the same time, you didn’t want to be the one to dampen Chenle and Jisung’s mood. So, with a small nod, you finally gave in. Hopefully, you won't end up regretting it.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

The event was being held in the courtyard of the student union. Just as you predicted, the area was packed the second you arrived. From a distance, you spotted the members of the student council gathered behind a long table draped with a light pink tablecloth. A bold sign posted on the table read: Hugs - $5, Kisses - $10.

Mark looked slightly reluctant in his seat, shifting awkwardly under the attention. Next to him, Jeno wore a bashful smile as girls giggled and pointed his way. Haechan, of course, was up to his usual antics, drawing laughter and cheers. And then... there was Jaemin.

He looked unfairly handsome, dressed in a knitted pink cardigan over a white shirt that complemented his honey-toned skin. With a smile as charming and inviting as his, it was no surprise his line was the longest. Yet, you couldn’t ignore the slight ache in your chest as you took in the scene. 

Just as you began to entertain the idea of backing out at the last minute, Chenle took charge. “Come on,” he urged, already nudging you and Jisung toward the booth.

Renjun, seated at the end of the booth managing the money as the student council treasurer, looked as the three of you approached. His eyes lit up when his eyes landed on you in particular.

“Hey guys! It’s good to see you, (Y/n),” he greeted, flashing a polite smile. “You’re not gonna get in line?”

You shook your head lightly. “No…I just came to show my support with Chenji,” you explained nonchalantly, gesturing to the boys next to you. 

The junior’s mouth parted in understanding. “Ah, I see. Well, I’m sure Jaemin will be happy to see you.”

An eyebrow raised, unsure of what he meant by that. Just as you were about to question him, Jaemin glanced up from his spot at the booth—  his gaze locking onto yours almost instantly. A kind, familiar smile spread across his face as he waved, making your heart skip a beat.

“(Y/n)-ssi!” Jaemin called out, his deep, warm voice cutting effortlessly through the noise of the crowd.

You couldn’t help but smile in response, the gesture almost instinctive. Just as you lifted a hand to wave back, you noticed him rising from his seat and making his way over.

“Hey, Chenle, can you cover for me for a bit? Thanks,” he said smoothly, flashing a quick grin at your friend before turning his full attention to you.

Chenle blinked in confusion. “What?!”

However, Jaemin didn’t wait for a response. With a gentle touch, he took your arm and guided you away from the booth, leaving a bewildered Chenle and a snickering Jisung behind, clearly amused by the unexpected turn of events.

Meanwhile, you were speechless as Jaemin led you to a quiet hallway on the east wing of the building. The silence around you was overwhelming, and your heart was pounding so loudly you were certain he could hear it. He turned to face you, offering a soft smile before letting go of your arm.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said, his tone warm and genuine. “But I’m glad you came.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks as you nervously tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Y-yeah, well... I thought it couldn’t hurt to visit you—  I mean all of you,” you stammered, your embarrassment growing.

Jaemin tilted his head, studying you with a playful glint in his eyes.“Are you sure you don’t want a hug or a kiss? I can give you one for free, you know.”

“What? Oh, that isn’t necessary Sunbae!” Your eyes widened, holding a hand up in protest. “It wouldn’t be very fair to all those other girls.”

He laughed, the sound light and melodious. “Relax, I’m just joking. Unless… you actually wouldn’t mind?”

Gosh, he was certainly being extra flirty today. It made sense given the kissing booth, but you definitely didn’t want to be another victim of it. Still, his suggestion didn’t make your cheeks burn any less.

“I-I’ve never…” Your voice faltered, too insecure to finish your sentence.

A flicker of surprise crossed his face. “Never? Really?”

Unable to make eye contact, you fidgeted with your hands nervously. “It’s embarrassing, I know–”

“It’s not embarrassing,” he interrupted gently. “I’d be happy to be your first if you’d like.”

You stared at him incredulously. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Dead serious,” he replied, his expression unwavering. 

Your breath hitched as he took a step closer. You weren’t immune to the pull of Jaemin’s peach-tinted lips, yet you had never allowed yourself to indulge in the fantasy of what it might feel like to have them against yours. That seemed like a dream too distant to even consider. Though your mind screamed at you to say no, your heart overpowered any reason. Slowly, you nodded.

With a smile, he lifted a hand to rest on your nape. He then leaned in slowly, giving you plenty of time to back away. But you remained still, closing your eyes as a final yes. The first time his lips met yours, it was soft and sweet—  like a whisper. He pulled back briefly, his eyes searching yours. Something clicked in that single shared glance as if this unspoken agreement passed between you. In the next seconds, the both of you were leaning in for a deeper kiss without any hesitation.

His hands naturally slid from your neck down to your waist, while yours settled on his broad shoulders. As he pulled you in closer, his lips moved against yours in a steady, deliberate rhythm, the pressure deepening with each passing second. They were just as soft as they looked, and the more he kissed you, the more you felt yourself melting into him. At some point, the two of you stumbled and he was backed up against a wall—  though neither of you seemed to care as your lips continued their seamless dance.

Although this is not at all what you imagined your first kiss to be like, you couldn’t complain. The world of college seemed to fade, leaving just the two of you in your little bubble of warmth and intimacy. His hands tightened tenderly on your waist, grounding you in the moment, while our fingers found their way to the back of his neck. They brushed through his soft, bleached hair, drawing a low hum from him that sent shivers down your spine.

What was meant to be an innocent first kiss inevitably turned into a making out, but eventually had to come to an end. As the kiss gradually slowed, Jaemin pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against yours. Both of you took a few moments to catch your breaths, cheeks flushed and heartbeats in sync.

He broke the silence first, his voice low and earnest. “Can I be honest?”

“Uh, yeah sure,” you said, unsure of what he had to say. Your lips were still tingling, feeling at a loss for words after that passionate exchange.

“I’ve been wanting to do that so long,” he confessed, his words hanging in the air like a secret he’d been holding onto.

You pulled back in disbelief, looking to see if he might be joking. “You have?”

“Yeah, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you after Chenle introduced us,” he began to explain. “As I got to know you more, I knew for sure that you were the girl I wanted.”

Though you appeared calm on the outside, your mind was racing with a whirlwind of questions. Was the man of your dreams really confessing to you? Had you been too pessimistic to see that your feelings weren’t one-sided? And if he’d liked you all along, why had he participated in the kissing booth?

Jaemin seemed to sense the confusion in your silence and spoke up. “I didn’t want to be in the kissing booth,” he said sincerely, “But all the other guys in the student council were doing it and Haechan wouldn’t stop spamming my phone until I agreed. And I wasn’t even sure if you liked me back so I thought-”

His sentence was cut off when you gently covered his mouth with your hand, giving yourself a moment to process everything. “Sunbae…I’ve had a crush on you for so long. But I just assumed it was unrequited.”

He took your hand, vulnerability shining over his eyes. “I like you so much, (Y/n)—  you have no idea. If I had known you felt that way, I never would’ve signed up for the booth. I’m sorry if I upset you.”

“It’s okay,” you said, letting out a shaky laugh. The genuineness in his words was evident, and suddenly the kissing booth felt like a distant memory. 

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your heart for the umpteenth time today. “I just didn’t expect any of this. But I’m glad you feel the same way.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” he smiled, “Because I don’t plan on going back there. From now on, you’re the only one I want to kiss.”

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach, but they were the kind that made your heart overflow with pure happiness. As Jaemin pulled you into another kiss—  true to his word—  you started to realize that maybe, just maybe your quiet dreams weren’t that impossible after all.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

previous masterlist -> current masterlist

[egophiliac]

IT'S BUNNY TIME EVERYBODY

(feat. Dilla)

(bugle accompaniment by Yuu)

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

[lupucs]

Gosh I love your art!

But uh whats your favorite deltarune ships?

Thank you so much!! Oh gosh, you really caught me off guard with this one hah!

Well, uh I think it should be pretty obvious which ships I like by now...

It's clearly-

It-

It's obviously...

THOSE GUYS!

[dannybobany]

OH MY GOD I’ve never brought up Nephilim!!! I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM BUT IVE ENTIRELY NEGLECTED TO SAYYYY ANYTHING OH MY GOSH….

Ok so. Angel right. You know the omori character named Angel- well, I used reflection (hero) to symbolize Basil’s self worth issues so you’re never gonna guess what Angel turns into- yeah. Yeah a creature that symbolizes Basil’s religious anxieties

Why is called ‘Nephilim’? Well IN THE BOOK OF ENOCH- (<- lost it, this is an omori au, why am i talking about Nephilim) which is considered one of the unofficial books of the Bible (those are a thing, yeah) (I AM GREATLY SUMMARIZING BY THE WAY) (THIS IS NOT HOW I WOUPE TALK AHOUT TJIS USUALLY BUT IT IS LATE AND I NEED TO GET THIS OUT BEFORE I FORGET AGAIN) the origin of these creatures called Nephilim is explained, these creatures are supposed to the children of angels and humans, which biblically speaking is an abomination

But for the sake of my omori au (STAY WITH ME) this is a very cool and interesting being to design, and making Angel an ACTUAL ANGEL would’ve been a little too op for that character… so what IS a Nephilim if not an Angel? Well it’s a Giant. Of course. Duh (<- again. Lost it)

Which is ✨amusing✨ because Angel is the smallest hooligan, so turning him to the largest monster in Marzenie (not counting the water beast) (ignore that) (not right now) (it’s one in the morning when I’m typing this and I am NOT elaborating at the moment) is a silly haha

Also Nephilim are very interesting and I need an excuse to put them in my work somewhere (iceberg boy has me on that giant juice) (please don’t question that)

Anyway

So!! That’s what I’m doing with Angel!!

[hauntingblue]

Jinbe not even on the crew yet and already talking about sacrificing himself for his captain... insane

[i3utterflyeffect]

i have only gotten more insane about untitled-3. watch out

[moontxt]

Okay so I think things are starting to look up! Today I completed my onboarding for a remote job and I’m actually pretty excited about it because the pay is good and I get to choose my own hours/schedule!! I already have a project assigned so I’ll start that tomorrow and hopefully it goes well and I get paid soon and all that. I don’t think this will be my forever job by any means but I really want to start working on seriously submitting my writing for publication and I feel like I can fit that really well into a remote working schedule. I also think I’m going to start a youtube channel for tarot readings. I’ve always wanted to do it and I feel like now is finally the right time. It’s scary because I don’t know if it will turn out or how things are going to look in a few months or even weeks but it’s so much less stressful knowing I have a plan instead of just applying for a million jobs and stressing about money while not getting called back. So now I think I’m going to just keep an eye on job boards so I can jump on something if I really want it and it comes at the right time. Or maybe I’ll really like this remote work and I’ll do this for a while! Either way I’m excited to be able to start on publishing my work/starting youtube. It’s what I really want to do and I finally feel like I can do it. So yeah happy :))

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[commanderfreddy]

i never remember to explain shit anymore i just vaguepost and expect people to catch up but i finally have good news, we've made a lot of progress with my parents' estate (they both ran their own businesses and you know those images of nightmare cable management? well imagine that with bank accounts) and i actually have money now - im taking a trip to Aotearoa NZ with my mate Jules next week (dark sky reserve! lotr filming locations! snow! FOOD!) and then in august i will be moving to nyc to pursue a 2 year masters degree in library science with a focus on rare materials archival studies!! shits happening in my life!! im not just sitting in my house doing nothing all day!! and like i said i have money!! if you're taking commissions lmk bc while im focused on my getaway for the next few weeks i wanna support my friends and their art and when i get back i wanna throw u cash to draw my ocs!!

[eosofspades]

just unlocked absolute shrimp feelings in the home tonight

tried to kill a mosquito (right above my bed) but it charged right at me and when i instinctively ducked i absolutely SLAMMED my face into my bedframe (sucked), went to the kitchen to get ice (thought i had just hit my face really hard, would bruise), realized i was bleeding (thought it was just a little cut), went to the bathroom to check, flicked on the lights, immediately found that my WHOLE CHIN and mouth were COVERED in blood, and in that moment i experienced what can only be described as a horror protagonist moment

[gestippeldedieseltreinworm]

Ok firefighting is not for me

[elytrafemme]

spoke to my father over lunch about my future, the field of psychology & neuroscience, advocacy law, etc. and i’m honestly beginning to seriously look into being a professor, most likely of psychology. because what i’ve been grappling with a lot lately is an interest to go into clinical psychology, but also the fact that while doing that may leave me time to pursue research endeavors, i may lack time to actually pursue the ethics of the field of psychology & psychiatry. which as we all know, there are so many ethical problems with how psychology runs currently, the DSM-5 is a disaster, my father (bless him) is going to get me an autobiography about someone who was misdiagnosed six different times under the DSM-4 (iirc?). like there are so many things i want to tackle rather than just sitting there and upholding the system; there’s a lot of good in therapy but ideally i would want to be a therapist who actually seeks to change systemic problems.

i think the ideal future for me, honestly, would be if i could juggle being a therapist, a professor, and a lawyer all at once. whether i can actually do this is unlikely because that requires (1) having the ability to get all those degrees which would cost so much money and (2) having the fucking time to do any of this, while working a job, which would get me that aforementioned money. so i don’t think this is actually plausible, but like. 

being a college professor sounds like a good lifestyle i think. be it for political science (which i’m still thinking about in terms of lifelong prospects) or for psychology, i would find that interesting. i am just wondering how i can adapt law into this so i can challenge some ethics constitutionally or within the field of psychology, because i know for certain i can only do one of those two if at all. 

i don’t know. i’ve just been thinking about it. we’ll have to see where this all goes. 

[wexpyke]

how did setting out to write a slutty, fun throbb valentine’s day fic turn into me debating myself (and raniyah, ily) about the politics of modern au westeros, what the different countries and languages would be called, and also how student life in modern au oldtown would work…

my halloween fic was 2k words, this one currently stands at 5.7k and i haven’t even got to the smut yet!!!! it’s all just theon being gorgeous and HAPPY and (mostly) carefree because while balon is still a deadbeat his grandfather is still alive and quellon cares. robb is well and a little troubled but mostly happy. they’ve found each other again after more than a year!! now kiss!!!!!!!

[reinemichele]

We're in your car (in your car) It's still silent (so quiet) Can you break the silence? 'Cause I don’t want it All I can hear is the sound of the radio in here (in here) This is so sad, say something please... We're not talking at all in the moving car And we just ride (na-nanana) I'm staring at my phone, you're looking out the window I'm so frustrated; we're hopeless, babe I know, you know, we both know We must break the silence (I don't understand) I know, you know, we both know But we just can't start a conversation...

[fable-x4]

Doing this because it makes me happy •Ꮂ•. Im making it difficult on all of you though.

1 note- I'll go drink water

10 notes - I'll set alarms to actually care for myself

50 notes - set up a daily productivity system so I stop wasting my time doing nothing.

100 notes - ask my friends to help me buy a skirt

500 notes - get a bra & a whole bunch of other affirming clothing !!!

1k - tell my dad that my gf is also trans

2.5k - ask my dad to address me by my prefferred name & pronouns 1k went pretty poorly, so I dont feel super comfortable making an attempt on this.

5k - try to get therapy/psychologist

10k - girl mode at all times (start actively wearing makeup/clothing/doing voice training around people at all times)

50k - try for HRT (0% chance) (also no guarantee on this one)

Asfgg. It feels surprisingly good to have a bunch of strangers who want me to be happy

I have now set up alarms for eating, waking up, and hygene related stuff. I seriously doubt we get to 500, but this has made me significantly happier •Ꮂ•

Doing some math... 25 notes in 4 hours. 6.25 notes per hour. 8000 hours or 333 days until this hits 50k. Hrt in a year ig.

Um. Wow. Its been a day, and we're almost at 300. Everything 500 & below was supposed to be things I'd do with minimal intervention. But now, we're getting to the scarier stuff. I am very intimidated, but also excited

My gf really badly wanted to be here when I buy some of the clothing, so the skirt will be this week, the rest of the clothing will be when she comes back from vacation

Saying that you're force femming me is so not allowed. This is unfair. You have no right to make me feel the ways Im feelingggg. Stop making me happy.

Welp. I told him about my girlfriend. And things went about as poorly as expected. He said that Im parroting what other people think. Slowly taking little parts of them, and applying them to myself. Specifically, being trans. He didnt even leave it to maybes. He said with certainty that I was copying everyone else. I know 9 trans people total. Only 2 of them are my close friends. Everyone else, Im barely aquaintences with. I should have told him that regardless of whatever theories he has, this has boosted my confidence massively. Slightly less excited for 2.5k notes. At least everything after that is very positive. And at least this lets me talk about my girlfriend for ages. I dont have to say her deadname through gritted teeth. Oh context. He already knows Im trans but was ignoring it.

I GOT A SKIRT!!!!!

Thank all of you so much. At first when I got the skirt, I was pretty intimidated by the idea of showing my legs. I thought everyone will just see me as a man. But there's a degree of confidence you all have given me. Yeah. Im pretty. Yeah, Im beautiful even. Yeah. Its a friggin fantastic skirt. And anyone who thinks otherwise is dumb. Im happy, and thats what matters.