#is what I meant ugh
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𓆩♱𓆪𓍼⊹ ˚.
#evidence of life#freezer bride#winter fairy#angelcore#pale#coquette#leg warmers#poc coquette#winter coquette#wardrobe#layering#sculptural fashion#sculptural styling#is what I meant ugh#ice mermaid#cold#legs#forgot the layering tag zzz
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petal
붉게 물든 장미, 꽃잎을 입술에 깨물고 𓇢
practicing with felix gets a little more.. intense than last time
pairing: bff!felix × gn!reader
wc: 4.4k
content: sequel to rosy (pls read first)! the same kinda stuff.. shy/inexperienced reader, hickeys!!, dry humping for literally 1 second, borderline smut istg, TENSIONNN, fluff, a little angst? (sorry)
a/n: tysm for the overwhelming love for rosy! i never imagined it would get as much attention as it did 🩷 i rewrote this a lot and i feel like it wont live up to expectations but ahh whatever. kinda gets straight into it so be warned lol
[also read on ao3]
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
—
You don't know how you got reeled into this situation again.
He was joking. You're sure he was joking. So why the fuck are you sitting here, on Felix's lap, sucking on his neck again? Again!?
You were bored. He had suggested practicing again. Because, why not? The marks you gave him before are fading, and he “wanted to test something.” Plus, you need practice, and it's just fun, right? Wrong. You feel like you're dying. Every sound Felix makes is making you feel as if you're burning from the inside out.
You should stop. You should stop now. This feels weird, even if it's just practicing, it's too... What are you even doing? One time would've been enough, right? Why did he suggest this? What is any of this serving to do?
You should stop. But god, it's not easy when he's so reactive. It seems as if any restraint he had last time is slipping now. You try to ignore how your heart flutters every time his shaky breaths stutter or when he squeezes you ever so gently when you suck a little rougher, making new marks over the faded ones. You feel dizzy but you can’t stop.
“Mmh..” Felix gasps as you bite down a little harder than you'd intended. “A-Are you practicing being more rough too? Ahh…” You feel his hands on your waist slowly pull you a little closer to him from your perch on his lower thighs as he tilts his head back, letting out a soft groan.
The sound is doing something unholy to your mind. It makes you crazy. It's like it shoots straight to your gut and makes you feel like you’re buzzing all over with excitement and a need for more. But you force yourself to lean back slightly. “U-Um, is it too much..?”
He shakes his head. “You’re.. you’re, uh—” His voice wavers and he clears his throat. “You’re doing really good.” And then he’s gently guiding you back to where you left off, baring his neck to you again.
“Try here, too…” he mumbles while tapping the underside of his jaw. “Please…”
With your brain so far beyond functional at this point, you do as he asks without second-guessing it. You're starting to think this is actually a pretty good arrangement. The more you do it… the more.. used to it you get. Right? Like exposure therapy or something. Yeah, this is fine.
You lean in to where he pointed to. Oh, the angle is definitely more difficult here. The first few attempts are messy, and it's a little embarrassing how you're suddenly back to being clumsy and unsure of yourself.
But Felix doesn't seem to mind at all; his head falls back again in a rush, fingers digging into your waist again, but you're too focused on the way his pulse is fluttering under your lips to really notice. Little gasps and moans escape him as you start sucking, and he tilts his head back further, giving you better access. You’re so hyper aware of every small movement; the way his skin twitches under your mouth, the way his fingers press into you when you bite down a little too hard… You're beginning to lose your mind.
You're not even thinking anymore, you just want to see how far you can take this. How much more you can make him react. You bite down a little harder and he lets out a strangled moan followed by your name. “God... why... why are you..” He's panting now.
You start to lift your head up but he presses your head back down. “No, don't stop,” he mumbles.
Is this normal for Felix? Doing this kind of thing with people… You never really talk about this stuff with him. The topic of hickeys only came up last time because he noticed some sort of bug bite on your shoulder and, “thought you were finally getting some action” (You wanted to punch him). You didn't even really know how hickeys work, and that's when he so generously showed you. So nonchalantly, like it was nothing.
And here you are again, after he brought it up like it was nothing. Like this is all just casual, normal.
Really, when you think about it, of course it's normal for him. With his pretty face and bright personality how could he not have people all over him, right? You guys are close, but you never talk about like… hookups or anything like that. Well, it's certainly obvious enough that you're a blushing virgin, so it's not as if you have anything to talk about. You never really gave a second thought to his potential… sexual endeavors… But you are now.
How many other people does he let kiss him like this? Does he make these pretty sounds with other people too? Does he let them do more? Fuck. Fuck. You can't stop thinking about it.
Your mouth is still on his jaw, and his hands slip into your hair, pulling you out of your thoughts. “God…” he breathes. You suck a little harsher. “F-Fuuuck…” His fingers tighten in your hair for an instant as he lets out a strained groan.
He sounds so... hot, and god, his fingers in your hair feel amazing. Without realizing it, you start moving a little, trying to get closer to him, wanting more. He immediately grabs your waist again and helps pull you higher up his lap until your hips are pretty much resting on top of his. Oh. This is new. This position feels a little… You can't even think. Maybe if you were in a more sane state of mind you would have some objection to this, but as it is, you just can't care.
Plus, it's way easier to reach Felix's neck from the new angle, so any complaints die in your throat and you sink your teeth even harder into him, pressing down and sucking. He lets out a low groan, suddenly turning into a whine as he squeezes your waist harder, pulling you in flush, so close to him you’re practically pressed chest to chest with him. It makes your head spin. Everything is spinning.
It's so good. Like… this feels way too good to be normal. You feel high off of his reactions alone. You never really understood the appeal of… this before, but now you can't think of anything else. You feel his breath shudder under your mouth and it's like a switch flips. Your brain is gone, replaced by an overwhelming lust for more.
It doesn't help when Felix starts shifting underneath you. He's panting, his hips moving in tiny circles, seemingly unconsciously. His eyes are closed, and you can hear every shallow gasp, every shaky exhale that escapes his lips.
His lips. His lips that are pink and swollen from his own biting. His lips that were on your arm not even a week ago. That you want to touch. Wait… what? What the hell? You can't stop thinking about if the roles were reversed right now. What that would feel like.
You can no longer help the little whine that comes out of your mouth. You swear your body is on fire and you don't even know what you're doing when you grind down instinctively against him, craving friction or some kind of release. His breath catches in his throat and his hands quickly grip your waist, pulling you flush to him, and he suddenly lets out a low moan, hips bucking up into yours, and it feels so fucking good but what—
What.
The fuck.
You’re so shocked by both your and his sudden actions that you pull away, lips leaving his skin with a small pop.
Oh.
The sight in front of you is insane. Felix looks wrecked. His head is thrown back, blush high on his cheeks and his lips parted. After a few seconds his eyes flutter open, locking with yours. There's a dazed look in his eyes and he blinks slowly, as if he's waking up from a trance. For a few moments, neither of you say anything, you simply stare at each other in the quiet room, the only sounds being your labored breaths.
The longer you look at each other, the more his expression becomes panicked, his eyes widening as he seems to realize what just happened. “Shit. I— sorry, I—” His fingers keep gripping into your waist sporadically, seemingly out of instinct, before he abruptly jerks his hands away, as if burned. “I-I’m so sorry, I didn't— I don't know why I— s-sorry.” He’s mumbling a string of apologies, frantically pushing you off of him as he stutters.
Everything is moving in slow motion. You don't know what to do. Felix’s head falls into his hands as soon as you’re off of him, covering his face (You don't dare look lower than that). He sucks in a few deep breaths, as if he’s trying to steady himself. Maybe if your freaking brain would turn on you could say something. He's sorry. The room is spinning again.
His eyes flick up to yours briefly. “Uh… haha.” He laughs nervously. He pushes some of the hair out of his face, his cheeks are pink. “Uhhhh, w-wow okay. I think… I think you got it now. You're um— really a natural huh?”
What? You're too stunned to react. What are you supposed to say to that? You're not even sure what happened anymore. Why did he react that way? Why did you react that way? How hasn't the world imploded on itself yet? How are you still breathing?
He stares at you for a bit longer before suddenly turning his head away and burying it into his hands again. “Ugh, this is so embarrassing, I…” His voice is quiet. “I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
“N-No, I… I just…” You try to talk but your throat is stuck. You aren’t really sure what exactly you're feeling. Confused? Flustered? Embarrassed? All of the above? Your head is pounding and your brain won’t function, thoughts swirling around and making you dizzy. But mostly, you feel really, really hot. Too hot. You can hardly breathe from how stifling the air is right now.
It suddenly hits you. Oh my god. You and Felix almost just… that was way too intimate. Intense. Insane. And you… why did you kind of like it? Sure, it was practice but it felt good. What the actual hell is wrong with you? Felix was being nice letting you practice on him and you… got way too carried away.
There's a part of you that's still reeling at how you got that kind of reaction from him but you push it down. You need to relax. Holy shit. Breathe.
“A-Are you okay..?” you finally choke out.
He still won’t look at you. “I'm fine,” he mumbles from behind his hands. “Should be asking you that instead.” Silence hangs between the two of you before he sighs. “I wasn't trying to do anything. I— I don't want you to think I…” He lowers his hands and angles his head towards you. There’s a strange, conflicted look on his face. “Are you… upset?”
…Huh? Something in your expression must make him more nervous because he cringes and scrambles to explain himself. “I… Y-You’re just not really saying anything, I mean… uh…” he stutters.
You haven't even realized you've been holding your breath until your lungs start to ache. Oh. You force your stupid brain and mouth to cooperate. “N-No I'm not upset.” And you're not. Just really freaking confused. “Um, I… I don't think you were… trying to.. do anything. It's okay.”
Felix sighs in relief. “Okay. Yeah, it was just a reaction. I don't see you like that. Obviously.”
Oh. Okay. You don't know why those words sting a bit. He doesn't feel anything about this. He's just worried that you might be uncomfortable. Right. You knew that already. Of course. But why does it kinda hurt?
You try to ignore the way your chest pangs uncomfortably. “Yeah… same….” Obviously.
“...Yeah.” He looks at you with a pinched expression for a moment. It’s gone quickly though and he laughs a little. “You look like a mess.”
Your hand darts up to your face, feeling it heat up. You’re sure your cheeks must be flushed red, your hair wild and tousled. Not to mention your lips. They feel so swollen right now. You run your tongue across them self consciously.
“Shut up… You look worse,” you grumble, trying to sound normal and most definitely failing. He lets out another breathless laugh at your reply.
“Yeah, I feel like a mess.” He seems to finally loosen up a bit and he exhales before he straightens up, clearing his throat. “Maybe let's not… do this anymore—? I mean—” he runs a hand through his hair. “Since… that… I think you got it now. Haha.. We can just… forget this happened… if you want?”
Forget this? You're not sure that's possible. You kind of want to throw up at how easily he's brushing this off. Like it's nothing. You have to remind yourself it is nothing to him. You should feel relieved but for some reason it's pissing you off.
You just sigh. “Uh, yeah, okay. Sorry.”
“No, you didn't do anything wrong. I mean, I—” He huffs in frustration and glances up at the ceiling, as if searching for words. “I— just… you’re sure you’re not upset, right? You're okay?”
You nod.
“Okay…” he breathes. “Sorry again if… I made you uncomfortable. I didn't—” He inhales shakily, letting out a short sigh before offering a sheepish smile. “I mean, yeah, we're cool, right? Are we… are we cool?”
Your heart hurts. Yeah, you’re totally cool. Everything's cool. You just want your Felix back. “...Yeah. Of course.”
He exhales, shoulders visibly relaxing. “Awesome. Uh. Good. Okay.” A beat of silence passes through the room. Your heart is still stuttering from how flushed he is, his neck littered with marks that you sucked onto his skin. You did that. And he liked it so much that he…
“W-Well!” he exclaims as he claps his hands together. He looks back at you, and like a switch flipped, he's back to his usual cheerful self again. “I think we both learned a lot from that. For example,” he raises a finger as if to make a point. “You have a talent for it, for sure. You were literally so good.” He laughs and the sudden nonchalance of this all but sends you reeling. “..And I guess my neck is like, way more sensitive than I realized. That's crazy. But like, you’re, you know, you did really well. You’re gonna have people alllll over you in no time.”
You can hardly pay attention as he's rambling, eyes still fixed on the marks on his neck. Your mind starts going crazy, the memory of the way he looked just a few minutes ago—eyes squeezed shut, body trembling, head thrown back and his pretty, pretty voice making those soft sounds, gasping your name—it’s burned into your mind so vividly. How can you ever look at him normally again?
But you have to. You have to. Holy shit, get a grip. Just pretend it's nothing. Easy.
..Apparently not so easy since his eyes flicker back over to you and he seems to notice the way your eyes keep darting between his neck and his face.
“U-Um, I gotta hide these,” he says with a nervous chuckle, quickly lifting a hand to touch his neck self consciously. “Do I even wanna see what I look like right now..?”
Oh, god. “..No.”
He laughs a little. “That bad? Well, now I definitely need to see.”
Felix pulls out his phone and angles the camera towards himself. His eyes immediately go wide. “Holy shit,” he murmurs as he brings his phone up a little closer to his neck, face turning slightly pink as he stares at himself. He winces when he brings his fingers up to touch the quickly darkening marks. “This is.. probably gonna be a pain to cover up.”
Your face is in your hands at this point, mortified. You groan and mumble some sort of incomprehensible apology.
“Hey, don't worry about it,” he says. “Well, I look a bit like I got attacked by a feral vampire. You're brutal. But, hey! Maybe I can request your services again for Halloween.”
Oh my god. “Please shut up,” you mumble.
He chuckles. “C'mon, I'm just kidding. Look at me.” he pokes your hands until you huff, lifting your head up to look at him.
The sight of him sends a burning guilt right to your stomach because your eyes automatically go straight to his neck before shooting back up to his face. He's still flushed a little pink, messy hair, dark marks on his neck… in a word, hot. But you'd never actually admit to that.
His expression softens when he sees your face. “Hey… c'mon, I can tell you're overthinking it,” he sighs and pokes your forehead a couple times. “Don't be embarrassed. It's seriously fine. I'm the one who should feel bad if anything since I… y'know.” He swallows, eyes flickering away. “You're sure you're okay?”
“I'm fine,” you mutter. Stop asking.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay. Well, I'm good if you're good.” His face is drawn as if he wants to say something more, but he just sighs, dropping his phone in his lap before grinning at you. “Honestly, they're cool. I look pretty hot like this, don't I?”
He has the biggest smirk on his face, and you’re tempted to smack it off him just a little. You scoff and try not to think about the fact that he just voiced your exact thoughts. “You wish.”
Felix laughs. “Hey, this is your own doing! You don't think it looks hot?”
“No!” You really do hit his arm this time, making him laugh again and hold his arms up in defense. “You look stupid. You better cover them,” you say indignantly, even though your eyes keep flitting back to his neck, unable to look away.
His eyes seem to drift down to your neck for a second too, lingering for a moment, but what could he be looking at? It's not as if your neck is a sight to see. You swear his expression changes for a second before he gives you a teasing smile.
“I should make you pay for all the concealer I'm going through.”
You look at him pointedly. “As if this is my fault? You literally asked me to do this again!”
He scratches his neck. “Ah… Yeah I did, didn't I…?”
You huff. “Yeah..” Why did you do that? You almost want to ask, but no. Just try to go back to normal.
He smiles sheepishly and shrugs. “Yeah, sorry. Well, it was… nevermind. I'm an idiot.”
You nod. That much is true.
It's silent for a moment. “Well, we're doing a pretty bad job of forgetting about it,” he says, smiling nervously. “Nothing happened today. Right?”
You swallow. “Right. Sure.” It takes all your focus to not glance at his neck again as you say that.
“Cool. Alright.” Then he suddenly jumps up. “I know. We should play video games!” he exclaims cheerily.
He stands up beside the bed and ruffles your hair, grinning. “Come on, I'll even let you choose the game this time and still kick your ass!”
You roll your eyes and attempt to fix your messed up hair. “Riiight. Bold claims from Mr. Twelve Year Bronze Streak over here.”
He gasps. “Take that back right now.”
“Oh, you're right. It's actually kinda impressive how you don't have a negative win rate by now,” you can't help the grin that takes over your face.
“Dude. At least I have a win rate. What's yours again? Oh yeah, you only play games like Mario Kart—”
“And I destroy you every time, so..”
“There's no skill in that game! It's literally just luck!” Felix protests, pouting adorably as he crosses his arms.
“Uh, I literally beat you even with items turned off,” you point out, giggling. “You take terrible lines. That's a skill issue.”
“Whatever. Mario Kart isn't even a real game. I mean, like— you know what I mean,” he grumbles.
“You're just mad ‘cause you suck,” you sing-song.
“I do not suck!”
“You totally do. You’re a sore loser about it too. Remember that time—”
“Enough!” he exclaims, trying to look outraged but you can tell he’s holding back a laugh. Suddenly he springs into motion, climbing back onto the bed. “Say I'm better at video games,” he says, poking you all over, your ribs and neck, tickling you.
You start shoving his shoulder in protest but only succeed in falling back against the bed as he sits, grinning down at you. “Ah— S-Stop! Get off!”
“Say it,” he repeats, grinning like he's won and pushing your shoulders back into the bed so you can't escape.
Normally, you'd hold your ground but your brain dies a little bit at the sight of him above you, hair falling into his face, practically pinning you down. He doesn't even seem to realize the position. Probably because this is normal, and you're the only one still feeling lingering weirdness. God.
“Fine! You’re— better,” you say quickly, eyes darting between his eyes and neck, suddenly remembering everything that happened just prior. You weren't able to forget about it for more than a minute. Great. “At fighting games, at least,” you amend petulantly.
He smiles victoriously. “I'll take it.” He lets up a bit, shifting his weight off you, but he’s still sitting right over you, keeping you pinned between his legs. “Was that so hard?”
“Yes,” you huff, face warming for some godforsaken reason.
“Really?” He pokes your cheek a couple times and grins widely, watching as you immediately push his hand away. “I won. You said it. You surrendered and acknowledged my supremacy as a gamer. No take backs. I'm the best,” he declares, poking your cheek again.
“Yeah, yeah,” you say as you shove him again, face still burning. “Let me up.”
He laughs, but for some reason, he still shows no intention of moving. Rather, he seems to be having a lot of fun keeping you trapped here.
You’ve found yourself in this situation countless times before so you don’t know why you’re suddenly finding it difficult to remember how to breathe. His eyes dart all over your face before resting somewhere just below your face. They stay locked there.
You swear time stands still for a second as he stares. It’s almost weird how intently he’s staring. What the hell is he looking at? Your neck? Why?
There's a strange expression on his face that you've never seen before. The normal playfulness is gone. He stares at your neck intently, as if he's studying every inch of it.
You feel your breath hitch in your throat and you swallow. “What are you looking at..?”
“Nothing…” he murmurs, eyes still locked somewhere on your neck. You swear you feel his fingers flex where they're sitting on your shoulders.
The silence stretches awkwardly and he still doesn’t move. Something about the way he's looking at you now… it has your heart beating harder, chest thumping at an irregular pace and your stomach doing backflips. Is this payback for you staring at his neck so much? But there's literally nothing to see on yours. And he's staring so seriously.
“Um— Felix,” you mumble.
That seems to snap him out of his trance. He blinks before quickly glancing up at you, eyes wide, then suddenly pulling back like he wasn't expecting to find you staring right at him. “Oh, uh…”
He pushes himself up until he's fully off of you and extends a hand to you. You blink at it for a second before realizing he wants you to take it. You let him pull you up into a sitting position, trying to keep your heart rate under control.
“Sorry… I—” He laughs. “I zoned out for a bit there I think.”
He scratches the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish. You just nod in response, heart still fluttering in your chest. That was… strange. But okay. You're not gonna think too hard about it.
“Anyway…” he finally says, breaking the silence. “Uh, let's go play!” You blink in confusion for a moment before he stands up and reaches over to pull you off the bed. He takes your hand in his and tugs you toward the gaming setup.
You sit next to him and he hands you a controller, his legs crossed underneath him. “Alright. Since you recognized me as the king of gaming—rightfully, may I add…” He grins at you. “I'm gonna kick your ass in Mario Kart.”
You give him an exasperated look. “You say that every time but I keep beating you.”
“Silence! The king hath spoken. And so it shall be.”
You roll your eyes and settle in next to him as he starts up the game, trying to ignore the way his knee brushes against yours. He’s so close. But it's normal. It's fine.
“Try not to cry when I obliterate you, Your Majesty.”
He sticks his tongue out playfully, seemingly back to his usual self. "Just you wait. You're going down. Say goodbye to your winning streak.”
Really, it’s not your fault you can't focus on the screen. It's not your fault that your face is warm, your head feels fuzzy, and you're all too aware of how close he is. It's not your fault you keep finding yourself stealing glances at him: his arms, his throat, his tongue that's sticking out in a pout as he concentrates. Oh, and he smells nice too. It’s really freaking distracting. And so not fair at all.
You would have floored him otherwise. You're sure of it. But when Felix raises his arms celebrating a victory that should've been yours if you could concentrate on a single thing besides him for two seconds, you can only mourn your winning streak for so long before you have to face it:
You're so screwed.
—
a/n: i just wanna play mk with felix. is that too much to ask
these idiots. if they just kiss everything will be fine bro. sorry if this wasn't what you were expecting/hoping for ahh i struggled a lot with this and decided the plot flows best split into 3 parts. so i do have plans for a final part which will resolve everything if yall are still interested in this story haha
feedback good or bad is always appreciated! thank you sm for reading!!
part 3
#i rly meant this to be out within 2 weeks after rosy and then. a month later. hi#i changed the plot of this like 17 times sorray#idek whats wrong w me#i still dont like it!#but idc anymore!!#like#ugh#what eva#pls enjoy#skz fic#felix smut#skz fanfiction#felix fic#felix fluff#felix#felix fanfic#lee felix fluff#skz felix#felix x reader#stray kids x reader#felix imagines#stray kids imagines#stray kids hard thoughts#skz imagines#skz fanfic#lee felix#lee felix smut#lee felix fic#lee felix x reader
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okay focusing on NATASHA when Peggy and Steve were reuniting was really a choice wasn't it
#a choice to cause me pain specifically#this ENTIRE EPISODE was meant to cause me pain#of all kinds#there was SO MUCH GOOD SHIT#and oh god so much not so good#I am still reeling#I needed to pause and pace around the house like 4 times#ugh my baby are you okay??#and still after all that willing to go with Peggy to look for steve??#Natasha my baby we've all been there I admire the dedication#What If...?#what if...? spoilers#what if#what if spoilers#peggynat#natasha romanoff#black widow
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wyllstarion. to me.
#that one banter where astarion is like 'ugh look at this waste' about the blood lake and wyll replies 'you mean the tragic loss of life?'#and astarion just goes 'um. yeah. that's what i meant.'
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sry im always living in the past but has anyone ever acknowledged from an impdubs perspective how fucking crazy it was when king ren made bdubs kiss impulse’s severed head
#idk why ive been thinking about this so much lately#i know we were all laughing at the time because it looked like bdubs was drinking from the fountain of youth iykwim#but honestly that was such a crazy awesome moment#wheres that painting of like. a soldier and it looks like hes getting sucked off but hes really just holding his helmet u know the one#i need fanart like that of this moment#where it looks like rens getting his rocks off but actually its so sinister because its bdubs kissing impulses severed head#and showing it as an act meant to please the king ugh#does anyone know what im saying or have i lost it
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No desire to convert to catholicism but the desire to kind of pretend that no schisms ever happened.
#[sigh] and we'll pray that our unity will one day be restored and they'll know we are christians by our love#txt#It's the bi-monthly angst about denominations don't mind me#whichever church I'm attending I know it's better than my very bleak new age era so it's not worth getting too upset over I suppose#what do you do when the UCC is too reformed and not litergical enough but catholics don't like gays or ordain women and episcopalians#make me angry because they like to ignore the atrocities they orchestrated in the southern united states and honestly every single#denomination has blood on their hands from various atrocities and ugh#too transgender for orthodoxy also#the eastern orthodox church in my city says that women can't wear pants that aren't obviously pants meant for women#so I can't check it out#I will keep going to my UCC church
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I still haven’t been able to pick up a copy of the new PPG comic but you know what? I saw this panel online from it and…
…if this is like a Super Zeroes-esque comic where the girls are envisioning alternate versions of themselves with different destinies and if Blossom wants to be a detective GOD! BLESS! whoever wrote this ‘cause it’s perfect.
Bubbles as a bunny and Buttercup as a wrestler are also both perfect but that goes without saying. 🙏
#is Miss Bellum coming to like… find out who kidnapped the mayor???#he got lost AGAIN after she accidentally left the baby gate unlocked UGH#it’s out of context so maybe if I read the comment I’ll get more context but if it’s the context I think it is#finally some good Blossom characterization BECAUSE IT IS FULLY ACCURATE 🥹🥹🥹🥹#seriously I’m legit happy for the first time in…… a while#watch I’ll read the comic and then cry tears of sadness lmao I MEAN I DON’T WANT TO but what if#I swear I’ve written about my love of blossom’s love of detective work on here too……… curious…….. 👀#also I didn’t meant comment I meant *comic I can’t edit tags easily on mobile I AM SORRY I CAN WRITE I SWEAR
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SW Hades AU August Update
Links and previous updates: May - June - July, everything else in this AU
In contrast to the July update, I didn't make as much progress in August as I'd intended, but all the same I'm quite happy with what I get to share with you here:
In the previous poll I only promised to get Echo and Fives to lines and flat colours by this (more than a bit belated) update, but thanks to @lesquatrechevrons keeping me company while I was working on them I managed to get the Domino Twins character art to a state of "almost finished". (I had posted them as "finished" but that was before I realized that I'd forgotten to add the little specks of neon colour to them, but oh well, I hate that stage anyway XD)
I also did some brainstorming with the amazing @elwinged about all the characters, as well as the various weapons and their aspects for this AU. They had some great theories and ideas, and also made me actively think about these things, which was real fun!
Before I go into some ramblings about what went into Echo and Fives' art and design (gotta pad this update with something, and some of you seemed to enjoy it with Omega last time), let's have another poll for next month! I've looked over my table of characters and plans, and I came to the delightful realization that I've made far better progress than how it feels on a day-to-day basis. So maybe it's time to work a bit on the boon-giver characters for a change:
Also would anyone be interested in a taglist for these updates, or are you all fine with me just putting these out whenever and let tumblr do its thing in getting them to you? (send me an ask or reply here if yes, I know my tumblr is a mess XD)
Now on to some thoughts on Echo and Fives:
Depicted but not illustrated in its fullest is that Rex has been a constant presence next to Echo and Fives (and to Cody, too, previous to that). It bears repeating that I really wanted to make sure that the clones are the same in size, and share as many colours as possible (so Cody also stood around as moral support when it came to Fives' hair). So you can also see how the shading on their faces are very similar in their shapes, except for the shadows in that part where nose, cheek and mouth meet, because I wanted to make the Dominoes look a bit younger.
Same with how Rex still has that wrinkle in his forehead that I oddly fixate on so much (don't ask), but Echo and Fives very clerly don't. I'll claim that it had been a completely conscious decision, and not just time passing between the two designs - well over half a year - during which I got it into my head that I should depict the clones during wartime as close to their barely-20-ish age as possible.
One thing I didn't commit to enough though (because I chickened out) was to make Fives look a bit more "dead" and ghostly before I put the blue-green soft light adjustment layer on him was the deeper and darker circles under his eyes, and I fully intended to leave out the light reflection from his eyes... but in the end I went back and added a duller shine to them because I'm weak, it's barely visible and he looked too grumpy and mean already T^T I also didn't want to make his cheeks more hollow or anything, because then I would just feel bad and weird about taking away the roundness from their shapes that I've worked so hard to put on them.
As I was working on this piece I've also thought a lot on the style that I've been trying to mimic through this project.
The thing that gave me pause is that I see more and more of my own style slipping into these pieces, I allow my lines to round out more... and I can claim that it is mostly because that's the compromise I can make with the clones, but I open up and look at Hades references less and less, and I just go freely with what's stuck in my brain while I'd tried to wrap my mind around the style when I first went at it.
I've also always had trouble with grouping my shadows and shapes, and this is exactly what I should be pushing more from now on forward. I keep letting myself get distracted by all the tiny details that I so enjoy to put into my work (case in point all that scarring on Echo, and even Fives' hair - as well as Cody's previously, but I didn't know how else to convey the texture of their hair in less and larger shapes). Hades character designs always feel so rich with detail, but at the same time they are a lot more streamlined than what I'd do if i let my own instincts and desires run wild. I'll try to work with that in the future!
Last but not least a few words on Echo's armor:
I'm slowly but surely stretching my artistic muscles a little and going a bit off-model for the characters, so I wanted Echo to wear armor that is a mix of his ARC and Bad Batch commando armor. So he's got the old plates on his arms (where he still has one LOL), all the straps and pouches (and both blasters!) and old kama hanging from his belt, as well as the hand print paint (because that is personally very very important to me that he has it). Then, beause I desperately needed some other colour in my characters that's not blue or black or grey, he's got elements of the red and orange paint he wears later in TBB (I really wanted him to have that orange stripe down the middle of his chest piece too, but I couldn't make it work with the handprint :() I'm real happy with this balance, and particularly with the shades of blue in his worn paint ^^
I also really wanted to give him a hand (I'll never not be frustrated at how Echo was kept literally handicapped with only his left hand to shoot and grab things (and people) with. It's good that he'd been an ARC and trained in dual wielding, but in a world where people keep losing their appendages (and sometimes half of their bodies) as if it was np big deal at all, it couldn't have been too difficult to get him a hand!! ANYWAYS. I'd first learned how to draw mechanical prosthetic hands/arms during my time in the Overwatch fandom, and I don't think I could draw them any other way (especially the fingers and the lights showing through in their joints) than how I'd done for Cole Cassidy way back when he still had a different name XD
I know there is a relatively limited way in how and what parts you can use to build up a hand/forearm, but I just cannot unsee it, and I thought I'd share this tidbit fun fact as well XD
I hope you enjoyed these ramblings, and I promise to try and keep to the normal mid-month-ish schedule for September!
#my art#hades au#hades au update#long post#domino twins#star wars#star wars fanart#tcw fanart#sw fanart#work in progress#artists on tumblr#arc trooper fives#arc trooper echo#tbb echo#I have the same imahe in this post twice so sue me :P#I meant to talk a bit about the stars and constellation element in their design as well but... I lost my steam and I just want to post this#I've been meaning to type this up last week but ugh.... I got very stressed and tired with other things so.... this is what it is#I hope you enjoy!
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“It was all for the Games,” Peeta says. “How you acted.”
“Not all of it,” I say, tightly holding on to my flowers.
“Then how much? No, forget that. I guess the real question is what’s going to be left when we get home?” he says.
Tearing my hair out over “Not all of it”
#not all of it#ugh#ughhhh#I really wanted him to appreciate what that meant#I mean I understand why he didn’t#but ugh it feels like such a big confession that we just blow by#man#if I was Peeta I would need a play by play of each moment#maybe that is eventually part of real/not real years later#everlark#thg#the hunger games
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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Already said this but since everybody is too busy on the failmance happening im gonna say it again: Vi starting their confrontation by saying “never thought [my sister] would orphan kids” only to be stopped from killing jinx. By an orphan kid.
#its about how jinx specifically calls vi her sister. thats WHY she has to kill her she wont balk from that#but vi disowns her as a sister (crazy bc she was her only blood family but thats nbd in zaun) bc thats the only way she can kill jinx#vi just GASSED zaun and is a COP now jinx should be disowning her#it wouldve been SO good if jinx flipped the s1 finale situation#and started asking what vander or mylo or claggor would think while wearing his stolen goggles#if vi wasnt so hot yall would actually call out her bad decisions or red flags but go off ig#bc this scene is also after she watched jayve KILL a kid. not even orphan one! and she was LITERALLY like ‘so? kids be dying.’#anyway the fact that isha is also aware of cait trying to shoot jinx so she hugs her. puts her head in the mf WAY on purpose#and vi has to have the same moment as jayce. ‘what have we done’ you became the very thing you swore to hate sweetheart :))#to have a child from zaun. your home btw. look at you in an enforcer uniform and shes full of fear and rightous fury.#its that day on the bridge again. vi had that same look in her eyes when vander carried her away. when did her lines and her values become#so easy to sway. well bc she loves someone of course. but she betrays you too. i can only laugh#its stupid bc s1 jinx is literally only doing what vi grew up wanting to do for vander. like actually.#bc its the same that they cannot steal from topside so it wouldve meant stealing and fighting and eventually killing people in oposition#like your sister was building nail bombs at 9 years old. you encouraged her. ‘theyll work eventually’ and then she kills and vis like 😰😰🤢🤢#bc she only sees silco. ugh kill me#can somebody talk about THEM please yknow one of the main focuses of the show#arcane#netflix arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane spoilers
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redraw of the crane wives' album "the fool in her wedding gown" cover art with owynn,,,,
He has Tongues & Teeth in his playlist and I like to kill him
#πa art#fnafhs#our au#fnafhs au#fhs#fhs fanart#fnafhs fanart#owynn fnafhs#owynn fhs#this would kill him btw#this would kill the dude. sorry to send you to dysphoria hell i just like to kill you for fun. ugh being “the bride” he would skin me alive#cheer up dawg at least you look really really pretty [gets mauled to death]#i like that i gave him lips and it doesnt look that weird! i never do lips cause they look weird but these worked yayyy#i couldnt tell what the flower was meant to BE so its just sort of... a thing.#i feel like his hair is too big but everything is in one layer so i cant shrink it without fucking up the veil..... rip me#i didnt make his eyes shiny because of bug i promise its not lazyness#i think i killed all of loop's morale with this. audibly just stoped everything and made despair noises
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dan and phil are a married couple in every sense except the official traditional married on paper sense
#ugh can’t get them out of my head#they’re so meant to be it’s ridiculous sometimes#i dont care if they get married (okay i do care in the way that it would be super cute and i would go insane)#like what they have is already so special it’s magic#:’)#jenna rambles#dan and phil#phan
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Does anyone know what the FUCK this damn cipher means???? I'VE BEEN TRYING EVERYTHING FOR LIKE AN HOUR
#ive never seen anyone talk about it before#and i wabted to know what it meant so badly#but i just can't figure it out#ive tried translatibg it into english#ceaser cipher. aston cipher. etc#wtf#bob#book of bill#the book of bill#bill cipher#gravity falls#code#codes#ugh
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they aren't roomies anymore but they may as well be by how much time they spend at each other's apartments
#shoots tumblr in the head point blank. this was meant to be just 4 gifs but the poor little stupid thing just couldnt handle it ugh#ts4#ts4 edit#zoe patel#mitchell kalani#gavin richards#j huntington iii#p#i think im gonna start cutting down on the tags i use i cba typing everything out nowadays#this is what minimal cc looks like to me okayy
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I know it’s been talked about ad nauseam, but I think one of the things that got lost in the discourse about TTPD and the muses and whatnot is how one of, if not the core trigger points of the album is the yearning for commitment and perhaps even more poignantly, motherhood.
The reason she was so susceptible to falling for the “conman’s get love quick schemes” is because she was grieving that imagined life with the person she had long assumed would be the one to give her that. What has been beyond clear in several albums, let alone interviews etc, is that those plans for building a family were very much real and top of mind for years, and she kept holding on and shifting her world in service of making that happen. And when whatever happened happened that pulled that rug out from under her, it left her bereft not just for the relationship that had once been her world but also the imagined family she had been hoping for and sticking out the hard times for.
And that’s likely why she was swayed by and trusting of the promises of someone who knew her history and knew how unmooring that loss was to her. It may have been partially about the person himself or lust or whatever, but the core issue was the pain of giving up the dream, and sublimating that dream into this new opportunity in front of her, because she was so desperate to hold onto the last scraps of that imagined life she wanted so badly. (And I don’t mean desperate as in pathetic or negative, I mean as in fighting within the last ounce of energy and hope she had.) It wasn’t rational and it wasn’t love, it was grief, not just for a relationship but even more so for the family it represented.
So to me the core issue of TTPD isn’t just the Joe vs. Matty or whoever of it all: it’s Taylor and her yearning. She wanted a family badly and a life that was theirs and was processing losing that in all kinds of ways. It’s all over the album in overt and subtle lyrics. It may not have been grieving a literal death but I’d bet it felt pretty darn close.
And I’d also bet that’s why we’re seeing… what we’re seeing now.
(I have so many more thoughts about womanhood and motherhood on TTPD but that is another post being worked on piecemeal in my drafts… this is just a little Saturday morning post-zoomies reflection)
#I’m trying to be delicate about all this on main#if you catch my drift#obviously I don’t know any of these people#I’m just using my ears with the music and my eyeballs on the screen#honestly think she’d almost gotten to the point where she would have given up almost anything#(including marriage)#if it meant having kids and a commitment#let alone all the career stuff she was willing to let slide#but in the end none of that mattered#writing letters addressed to the fire#the tortured poets department#and like..#this is also why she was so clear minded about what she wanted in a partner when she started dating killa#and not as in opportunist but as in she knew what she wouldn’t compromise on anymore#and luckily for her he was on the same page#and tbh why this isn’t all that fast#ugh I wish my brain would let me finish the other post I was working on#like I know we’ve kind of been dancing around this in recent years in discussion#even if we all had our own assumptions#but she kind of ripped the bandaid off in ttpd#and with ~everything~ now happening#I think it’s ok to talk about? respectfully? lol
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