#it’s out of context so maybe if I read the comment I’ll get more context but if it’s the context I think it is

[bugeyedfreaks]

I still haven’t been able to pick up a copy of the new PPG comic but you know what? I saw this panel online from it and…

…if this is like a Super Zeroes-esque comic where the girls are envisioning alternate versions of themselves with different destinies and if Blossom wants to be a detective GOD! BLESS! whoever wrote this ‘cause it’s perfect.

Bubbles as a bunny and Buttercup as a wrestler are also both perfect but that goes without saying. 🙏

[petertingle-yipyip]

ALWAYS BEEN YOU - KAZ BREKKER

//follow-up to this (for context, really) but can be standalone// also @darker0moon221b asked for this//

Pairing: kaz brekker x reader

Word Count: 3,146

Summary: On the heels of a rough night and unbelievable confessions, Y/N still has to make sure Kaz is alright. What comes after is… shocking.

“I loved you first.”

“What?” Your head snapped up and your hands around the kit tightened till your knuckles were white. “You don’t mean that.” You laughed nervously.

Kaz didn’t waiver in his eye contact, dark eyes boring into yours. You shifted slightly under his gaze but he didn’t speak. Even when you rose to your feet, he didn’t look away, didn’t say a word. He just watched you intently, like if he looked away you would vanish.

Those four seemingly simple words bounced around your skull. You tried to imagine what his expression was when he said them, but you couldn’t. There was no way for you to know what he was thinking. That cursed unreadable expression crossed his features and you would’ve given anything for any of his other looks. That near smile that only you seemed to get or even his widely recognized scheming face.

“I loved you first.”

You had imagined it, right? He gave you nothing to think otherwise. Yes, that’s all it was. A tired brain mixing with a yearning heart to play on your own foolish infatuation. Kaz Brekker was many horrible things and few wonderful. But he was not someone who confessed love. Maybe he didn’t know love. Maybe he didn’t want to. Either way, it wasn’t about you. That much you could convince yourself.

“Okay.” You said finally. You had no idea how much time had passed while your thoughts ran rampant. “Well, make sure you eat and drink something to help with the blood loss. I’d say something with some sugar. Oh! Nina was by earlier, brought some new pie. You might like it.”

“Y/N?” He tried but you pretended not to hear him.

“I’ll come check on it in the morning, if that’s alright. Make sure no infection has set in and you still have your wits.”

“That’s all?”

“Is there anything else?” You cringed slightly at the desperation in your voice.

“You tell me.”

You swallowed the thoughts that threatened to embarrass you further and simply nodded, lips pressed tightly to a line. You moved to grab your fallen book but once your eyes went down, Kaz seemed to know your intention. Of course he did. You immediately stopped when you saw his movements, the stretch of his long yet muscle bound bare limbs.

You also realized he was still shirtless.

You turned on your heel instead and briskly walked out the room. You made sure the door was firmly shut behind you and then you practically ran to your own room. You all but slammed the door and dropped your kit to your desk. You yanked off the remaining glove and pushed your hands into your hair. You let out an uneven breath and tried once more to piece together the night.

You were reading in Kaz’s office. He came in, covered in blood. You cleaned him up and he smiled at you. He said he loved you.

You laughed slightly and then put a hand to your mouth.

“Oh Saints, I’ve gone mad.” You said to yourself. You shook your head and decided to sleep it off.

But your dreams were simply replays of that damn smile.

The next morning, you dragged your feet to get ready. You brushed your hair and teeth, then washed your face leisurely. You knew Kaz was likely already waiting for your promised arrival and he’d have some comment locked and loaded, just itching for an opportunity, but that only made you want to avoid it more. But the deal was the deal.

You tucked a pair of gloves into your pocket and cut a new bandage wrap from your fabric pile before you headed to see him. You greeted the few Dregs that were up at the early hour before you hesitated outside his office.

You tugged on the collar of your shirt, just so you didn’t pat your pocket, and shifted on your feet. You hated the fact that you were dreading something you were good at, simply because you had gotten something you had only dreamed of. And for what? Because you couldn’t believe it? Because you decided to want something so simple from the one person it always seemed so improbable from?

Then again, improbability wasn’t impossibility.

“Why are we staring?” Jesper whispered loudly and you jumped. “It’s just a door.”

“Ha ha.” You said sarcastically and jammed your elbow into his ribs. “And it’s not that I’m staring. I’m stalling, it’s different.”

“Okay… Why are you stalling? Meeting with the boss you don’t wanna deal with?”

“Of a sort.” You nodded. “Do you think…”

“Wylan would say no but I beg to differ.” He shrugged and glanced over with a wide grin. “What’s on your mind?”

You nodded towards Kaz’s door.

“What’d he do this time?” Jesper sighed and his smile fell.

“When he’s come back after having the ever-loving shit kicked out of him, have you ever heard him say anything strange?” You tried to keep it vague. Telling Jesper was just as bad as screaming it across the Barrel. You loved your friend but he was a gossip.

He gasped dramatically, thus confirming your hesitation. “Is there news?”

“Maybe… I’m hopeful, don’t get me wrong, but I also can’t convince myself it happened.”

“Well, what was it?”

“So you can tell all of Ketterdam and get us both in trouble?” You laughed. “No way.”

“Oh, come on!” He tried.

You shook your head with a smile and knocked on the office door. After a second, you could hear the tapping of his cane coming closer. You looked back at Jesper, who was still staring with wide, pleading puppy-dog eyes. The door cracked open so you shot your friend a wink and ducked inside.

“You took your time.” Kaz complained once you shut the door.

“Good morning to you too.” You rolled your eyes, both glad and disappointed to be back to your usual banter. You turned and found him sitting in your chair, cane resting against the arm while he rubbed out his bad leg. “How do you feel?”

He shrugged. You could’ve been mistaken, but he seemed more irritated than usual.

You made a face to yourself and crossed the room. You stopped a few inches from him, not even letting your shoes touch, and leaned in quietly. His eyes went wide for a moment and it almost seemed like he had a forward lean of his own. Your eyes were on the cut of his forehead, checking the length of it once then twice then a third time just for the hell of it.

But even with your focus on the injury, you could see the movement of his own eyes. Darting between yours, following the shape of your jaw, your lips, trailing down your neck.

“That one looks good.” You leaned away and nodded. “You didn't feel any sort of dizziness or sickness after I left?”

He seemed to lose himself in his thoughts before he answered you. You knelt in front of him, nudging his knees apart. The jostle seemed to bring him back to the moment, which caused a new flash of surprise. You wondered for a second if it meant something in your favor or if he was feeling some sort of after effect from the fight.

“Kaz?” You tried waving a hand in front of his face. “Is something wrong?”

He reached out and took your hand in his. You said nothing, but your expression betrayed you. Kaz let out a small chuckle and let himself smile again, smaller than the one that threw you last night but still genuine. Your eyes were wide and soft in awe at the simple contact but coming on the heels of the confessions last night, it had to have some weight.

“Nothing’s wrong.” He said quietly. “Truthfully, Y/N, I worried I had misunderstood you.”

“What?” Your brows furrowed.

“Do you remember what you said last night?”

You winced. “In painful detail, yes.”

He chuckled again and you lost the fight to hide a smile. “I thought about it all night.”

“Really?”

“I wondered if I had misheard you, if I had misread your cues.”

“Hang on.” You cut in, snapping into focus as if you had been hit with cold water. “Cues? I wasn’t giving cues.”

“Really?” He challenged lightly. “Should I list them?”

“Please do, but while you try and embarrass me, unbutton your shirt so I can check your side.”

“Those wide eyes that always find me in a room.” He pointed to your eyes before taking off his gloves to work the buttons. “You ask something specific of me then change it to mean everyone. The way you curl up in this chair and face my desk, pretending to read but you’re looking over your book towards me. Hell, even the way you say my name.”

“That’s… a good list.” You said carefully, admittedly embarrassed. You dropped your eyes and pulled the gloves from your pocket. 

“Do you want to know what really convinced me?”

“Not particularly but I’m sure you’ll tell me anyway.” You confessed with a sigh. Once your gloves were fitted to your hands, you leaned an elbow on his knee and looked back at him.

He leaned in as if to tell you a secret, though it was likely just to free some space while he wriggled out of his shirt sleeves. You wanted to lean in and meet him, finally kiss him, but you knew better. Instead, you forced your eyes to stay on his side. You tried not to let your gaze wander across his muscle-bound, scar-riddled torso.

Focus, Y/N.

You shifted to sit up on your knees and reached in. Your rubber covered fingers met his skin carefully and you gently prodded and pulled on the injury.

“Nothing to say anymore?” You asked lightly, hoping to break the now thick tension.

You dared a glance at his face and his eyes were closed, head leaning against the back of the chair. Your movements froze as you simply looked at him. He almost looked content, so much softer when his eyes were closed. It was small moments like that that made you forget he was the Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands Brekker. He was someone to be feared. Men with any sense wouldn’t dare to cross him. Women with any sense swooned and batted their lashes for his attention. Kids with any sense feared their closets because the monsters come from there.

But to you, especially in those fleeting vulnerable instances, he was just Kaz. And that was always enough for you.

You shook the thought and went back to your examination. You ran your fingers over the length of the wound and frowned when you realized one of the stitches were looser than it should’ve been.

“Were you messing with these last night?” You accused quickly.

“What?” He finally spoke. “No.”

“Dammit.” You cursed and pulled your hands away. You dropped to sit on your heels and blew a sigh while you threw the gloves on the floor in annoyance. “It’s not as tight as I’d like it to be. Must’ve been the gloves.”

“Do you need to fix it?”

You looked over at the discarded gloves and frowned. “More practice is what I need.” You muttered before looking back at Kaz. “It should be okay. It’s clean so as long as you keep it covered, it won’t bleed through your clothes or anything… But it’ll scar for sure now.”

He shrugged. “What’s one more?”

“You never told me what tipped you off.” You said, looping back to the prior conversation.

You knew you should’ve left, let the unspoken thing between you two stay unspoken, but you also knew you needed closure. You needed to know with certainty if your pining was obvious. If you needed to pack up and run from your embarrassment. Maybe Inej would let you join her crew next time she came to port.

He held his hand out to you and you went for it, then hesitated. You kept your hand just out of his reach before closing your fingers to create just a bit more space. The idea of putting your hand in his - his bare hand - was something you had only dreamed about. You heard him make a noise of impatience at your hesitation and he leaned forward again to take your hand in his.

“You’re always careful of my space.” He began carefully. It was a list he knew, something he had drafted and gone over a million times in the past few weeks. Or maybe it was months. It could’ve been years for all Kaz could tell. Everything with you seemed to come together in the best and worst ways. “You’re careful of contact.”

“Because I know you don’t like it.” You shrugged. “Doesn’t everyone seem to avoid you for one reason or another?”

“Well, yes, but you do it to be considerate not because you’re afraid.”

“I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

Kaz took a deep breath and his eyes finally met yours. You could see the war raging behind his eyes. The contact of your hand in his must’ve been driving him insane. You could see his chest rising and falling with deep breaths, like he had to consciously force the air in and out of his lungs. His jaw was tense. Hell, his whole body was wound tight as elastic, ready to snap. To shove you away, to scream at you, to start a fight neither of you would hold back in. But he didn’t. He willed himself to maintain the contact, even when you gave the slightest tug to free your hand.

“No.” He finally spoke. “Never you.”

“What are…” You tried, but the question wouldn’t form. What was he thinking? Why wasn’t he letting go? Why was he tormenting himself just to hold your hand?

“When I felt your gloves last night, it all made sense.” He explained and the grip on your hand seemed to tighten slightly. “I knew I hadn’t been crazy.”

“I might be.” You said mindlessly and he chuckled.

“We both might be.” He agreed. “But still… You didn’t have to use gloves, but you did, because you wanted to be able to help me. Right?”

“Someone has to.” You tried to sound casual.

“They don’t.” He corrected. “But you want to.”

“Because I care about you, Kaz. You’ve been my friend for years. I’d hate to lose you.”

“Do you love me, Y/N? Truly.”

You swallowed hard, licking your lips to stall. Your free hand twitched and knowing your pockets were empty, you tugged on your shirt to adjust the fabric. Suddenly, the room felt very warm.

“I…” You began slowly. “You’re still holding my hand.”

“Yes.”

“Without your gloves.”

He let out a shuddering breath. “Yes.”

“And that doesn’t make you want to run?”

“It does.” He answered tightly. “But I don’t want to run from you.”

“You don’t have to do this.” You put your other hand on his knee. “Let go, Kaz.”

“No.”

“Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“Because how can I be with the woman I love if I cannot bring myself to touch her?” He answered quickly and your eyes went wide. “If I cannot hold her hand or touch her face, her lips… If I cannot bring myself to hold her, what kind of love is that?”

“If she truly loves you, she’ll bear it.” You offered. 

“You shouldn’t have to.”

“Me?”

“Yes.” His expression shifted slightly to relief. “Yes, you, Y/N. It’s always been you.”

“So I didn’t imagine it last night? You said you loved me first.”

“Truthfully, I was worried I had imagined it all. But I couldn’t stop thinking about those damned gloves and how I wanted to feel your touch without them… Just be honest with me, Y/N. Do you want this?”

“Of course I do.” You said without thinking. “But I can’t ask you to torture yourself just to be with me.”

“You’re always so gentle.” He spoke softly, admiringly even, and it made you blush. “You don’t have to be so with me. I can take it.”

“And you shouldn’t have to.” You managed to wiggle your hand free and you watched his chest rise and fall with a heavy sigh of relief. “I do love you, Kaz, in a way that scares me. But I won’t be the reason you force yourself to do something you can’t.”

You stood and reached for the book you left the night before.

“No one forces me, Y/N.” He stood in front of, one small step to block your reach. “I want to do this for you.”

“Don’t make me move you.”

“You wouldn’t push a cripple without his cane, would you?” He feigned innocence.

“I’m serious, Brekker. Let me get my book so I can go and you can think this through.”

“I’ve spent weeks thinking it through.” He shook his head. “I want to try. For you, yes, but also myself… I want to hold you and kiss you and touch you for myself.”

“If I give in and if I’m with you.” You said firmly, pointing your finger near his face. “We need to be very open about limits. I won’t push and I expect you to stop when you need to.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted sarcastically and you had to refrain from kicking him in the shin. “Anything else?”

“You need to give me your word, Kaz.”

“Don’t trust me?” He raised a brow.

“I trust you with my life you buffoon.” You rolled your eyes with a small smile. “But I need to know you’ll commit yourself to what I’m asking.”

“Y/N, darling. I give you my word, on any and all Saints you want to invoke, that I will take that time I need so long as you’ll let me.”

“Good.” You nodded. You thought if there was anything else you could or should have him agree to. Your mind was blank so you shoved your hands into your pockets. “I suppose that means we’re together now.”

He grinned and you couldn’t help but smile in return.

“Finally.” He said and you could tell he was truly happy. “Can I kiss you?”He took a step closer.

You freed a hand and gingerly brushed your fingers along his temple, sneaking into his hair for a second. He gasped but you noticed he didn’t flinch. Feather-light, your touch went along the angle of his jaw and danced down his neck, curved with his shoulder, and skimmed his arm until you reached his hand. He interlaced his fingers with yours and you felt his other hand under your chin, tilting your head back.

“If you’re sure you can bear it.” You said quietly.

[navybrat817]

How does Bucky handle you being sick? 🥺

I may have gone overboard, nonnie. 😂

Sick Day

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky takes care of you when you get a cold. He also takes care of the guy who may have given you a cold.

Word Count: Over 2.4k

Warnings: Fluff, humor, established relationship, reader has a cold, implied smut, interrogation, Bucky Barnes being a ridiculously wonderful boyfriend in love (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: I don't know where this came from. Maybe a bit of inspiration from @inklore here. 😂❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

When you had a hard time getting out of bed this morning due to a cold you caught at work, you tried to brush it off. Bucky immediately called in to take a personal day and said he had to take care of you, which forced you to take a sick day as well. It was for the best. You had a tendency to push yourself past your limit some days and he kept you in check.

You snatched a tissue out of the box beside you just in time to sneeze into it. With a pained groan, you scrunched up your face and dropped the tissue into the small pile in your lap. It took you a moment to sip your water, followed by your herbal tea. Though your throat was sore, you had to stay hydrated. You also had to get some rest.

Bucky wouldn’t let you hear the end of it if you didn’t.

“I hate this,” you mumbled to yourself before your boyfriend rushed into the living room to check on you, his piercing eyes searching the room as if to assess a threat.

“I heard you talking, baby. You need to rest your voice,” he said, adjusting the humidifier he set on the coffee table before his concerned gaze snapped back to you. “Wait. Do you need something? Do you not have enough blankets? I can get you more tea. Or I can put something on TV. Shit, where’s the writing pad?”

You tried not to smile as the massive shirtless supersoldier bustled around the room. He hadn’t seen you under the weather since the two of you started dating and you should’ve known he’d make a big deal out of it. Whether it had to do with growing up with Steve who dealt with all sorts of ailments or simply because it was his girlfriend feeling less than stellar, you weren’t sure. Either way, it was endearing to see the former Winter Soldier worked up over you.

He had nothing to worry about though.

“I’m fine,” you croaked before you went into a coughing fit.

Bucky’s eyes widened as he crouched beside you and brought the water back to your lips once you had yourself under control. His brows furrowed when he checked your forehead with his right hand, which made you fall in love with him a little more. You tried to tell him earlier to keep his distance so he didn’t get sick before he gently reminded you that he wasn’t exactly prone to catching colds thanks to the serum.

A silver lining from the pain he had to go through.

“You’re not fine. You’re sick. Well, you’re still 'fine',” he smiled a little, making your heart swell. “I used that in the right context, didn’t I?”

You almost went into another coughing fit as you giggled, the sound huskier and deeper than normal. “Only you would think I’m fine when I’m like this,” you said, reaching up to run your fingers through his silky chestnut hair. He hadn’t brushed it today. Too busy taking care of you. “And I’m not ‘sick’ sick. it’s just a cold.”

“It isn’t just a cold. Not to me,” he said, his jaw clenching as his vibranium fingers curled.

“I’ll be better before you know it,” you assured him, raising an eyebrow as his cheek twitched. “What’s the matter?”

Why is he getting himself worked up?

“I just don’t like you feeling any kind of pain,” he said, leaning up so he could press his lips to your forehead. He huffed as they lingered there. “I wish I could take it away and I can’t.”

It was a sweet sentiment, especially after everything he went through.

“I know you would if you could and it’s okay that you can’t,” you said. You understood where he was coming from though because you didn’t like the idea of him in pain either. He had a heart almost as large as his body and you were lucky to get a single ounce of his love. “Don’t worry, okay?”

“You’re my girl and it's impossible not to worry,” he said, a touch of possession and tenderness seeping into his tone. Belonging to him was as natural as breathing. “But I'll try to relax a bit.”

“As long as you try,” you said as he pressed another kiss to your forehead.

Your head tingled from his lips before you frowned. This close, you could usually get a whiff of his woodsy cologne. Your eyes welled up when you inhaled again and couldn’t smell him, doing your best to blink the tears away so he wouldn't catch them. It was silly that you suddenly missed the comfort of that smell because your nose was acting up.

He didn’t need your tears on top of that.

But, of course, he caught your sad sniffle, which sounded slightly different from your cold sniffle. His body stiffened, like a cobra ready to strike. “Tell me what’s wrong, even if I can’t physically fix it.”

God, I love this man.

“I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I really miss the smell of your cologne,” you told him, your gaze probably nothing short of pathetic as you tilted your head to see his handsome face.

Your breath caught when he looked back at you and brushed a tear away with his thumb. There was nothing but love and adoration in those brilliant eyes of his. It made you feel lighter.

“That’s far from ridiculous because I smell amazing,” he teased, bumping his nose against yours to bring a smile to your face. “How about I spray the blankets after you take a nap and I make you some soup? That way my scent will be there even if you can't smell it.”

Tears clogged your throat as you gave him a nod, committing the moment to memory. You were used to going it alone before he came into your life. He couldn’t take the pain away, but he could make you feel better in ways that mattered to you. That likely comforted him just as much as it soothed you.

“That would be great,” you said, yawning a bit. “Can we watch a movie after my nap?”

“We'll watch whatever you want.”

You pulled him close so he could join you on the couch, knowing that his muscular and warm frame against yours would feel just as comforting and safe as the blanket that covered you. And he relaxed and quickly accepted your wordless invitation to wrap his arms around you, keeping you in his loving embrace. It was home and always would be.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” you said, closing your eyes as you nuzzled your head against his bare chest. “I love you.”

“I’ll always take care of you,” he promised, his vibranium hand moving in slow circles along your back as you began to drift off. “I love you, too.”

You let out a happy moan before you said one more thing. “And hunt down the person who gave me this cold, okay?”

With your eyes shut, you didn’t see the determination written all over his face. “You got it, baby.”

You were right as rain and back to work a couple of days later, thanks to Bucky caring for you and some much needed rest. Not even an hour into your shift though, Steve requested for you to meet him in the second lower level. You didn't hide your surprise as that was usually reserved for interrogations.

Which was exactly why he called you down there.

“What's going on?” You asked as you walked into the viewing room. Steve, Sam, Natasha, and Tony all looked your way, but didn't give you any sort of response. “Seriously, what's up?”

“You don't know?” Natasha responded, nodding toward the glass.

You followed her gaze with a gasp as you saw Bucky tower over some blonde male agent in the cell. Your boyfriend was almost unrecognizable with his face devoid of any emotion, dominant and on the edge of terrifying. It was a far cry from the loving side you were privy to, yet you loved this side of him just the same.

“Buck dragged John down here a few minutes ago,” Steve explained in a quiet voice as he punched the bridge of his nose. “Said something about him hurting you.”

You tilted your head as you looked at John, recognizing him after a second due to his punchable face. “Him? No. He didn't hurt me. He just bumped into me the other day in the break room,” you explained. Which wasn't that big of a deal to you, but probably offensive to Bucky. “But he didn't apologize.”

He also had a cold.

Oh, no.

“So, you had nothing to do with this?” Sam asked, chuckling as you lifted your chin.

“No, I didn't,” you replied as you bit your lip. “At least, I don't think I had anything to do with this.”

Your heart raced faster when Bucky pushed the sleeves of his shirt up and gripped John by the collar, the veins in his right arm popping out. You wished you could lick them. Maybe later.

“I know it was you, you piece of shit,” he said, roughly shoving the agent back into his chair. “You got my girl sick.”

Oh, Bucky.

You stared straight ahead as you felt the group collectively look your way, refusing to react under their stares. “Before any of you say another word, this is definitely not my fault,” you stated.

“Of course it isn't,” Natasha smirked. She knew Bucky loved to play the hero on your behalf even though you could take care of yourself. “Just enjoy the show.”

Your mouth fell open as your boyfriend slammed his left fist on the table, leaving a sizable dent as John nearly fell backwards in his chair. This guy was an agent? He was either new to interrogations or simply scared shitless of the former assassin.

Maybe both.

But you ignored him as you shifted your attention back to your beefy, perfect boyfriend.

When you had mumbled for him to find the person who gave you the cold, you didn’t think he’d actually do it. You weren’t sure how he narrowed down to John, but the former assassin was resourceful and you should've known he'd take you seriously. And, fuck, if it wasn’t slightly mortifying on your behalf and hot as hell watching him in action.

“That cold you gave her made her cry. You made my girl cry. Do you know what I do to guys like you who make my girl cry?” Bucky said through his teeth, bringing his fist down on the table again as John flinched and you smiled. With all the strength he possessed, you never had to worry that he'd hurt you. But you couldn't say the same for the frightened agent. “You're about to find out.”

You didn't think you could love Bucky more after he helped you get over your cold, but he proved you wrong.

And you could now add Bucky threatening people to your list of things that made you dreamily sigh and tingle between your thighs.

“Look, I'm sorry. I’m sorry! All I did was bump into her. It was an accident!” John shouted, putting his hands up in surrender and trembling when Bucky stood to his full height and cracked his neck. Your boyfriend waited a beat before he grabbed one of his hands and began to twist, making the agent pale as you bit back a whimper. “Fuck, stop! I won’t even breathe around her again. I’ll hold my breath! Just let me go!”

“You're enjoying this, aren't you?” Tony asked you, taking out his phone to type a quick message as you hummed. Maybe you were enjoying it. How many guys went out of their way to scare someone who possibly gave you a cold? “Does the Manchurian Candidate know how much I’ll have to pay to keep this guy from suing him?”

“We can tell him it was a prank?” Steve suggested, bringing another laugh out of Sam as Natasha shook her head.

Bucky's eyes narrowed as he flung the hand away, his hair falling in his eyes as you held your breath. He looked like a wild animal, untamed and stunning. “I should choke you. Make you see how long you can really hold your breath before you pass out,” he snarled as John rubbed his sore skin.

Steve snuck a glance at you, his cheeks a little pink when you put a hand to your throat. “I don't want to overstep because you're my best friend's girl, but you do know you just moaned, right?” He whispered low enough for only you to hear.

Oops.

“Oh, my god,” you groaned, putting your warm face in your hands to hide your embarrassment for a moment. “Is anyone going to stop him?!”

“Why haven’t you stopped him?” Natasha countered knowingly.

Because I’m too busy thinking of how I’m going to suck his dick so good later that I'll make him see God.

You took a breath as the ache between your legs got stronger and pressed the button beside the glass. “Bucky?”

He swung his head toward the glass and met your gaze even though he couldn’t see you. No matter what, he’d always be able to spot you. “Hey, baby. I found the prick who gave you a cold. Want me to beat the shit out of him?” he bragged as John paled.

“I love you,” you giggled from how sweet and ridiculous he was. “And no. I appreciate you defending me, but I think you can let him go.”

Tony playfully rolled his eyes when Bucky grinned. “Your crazy matches his crazy.”

True.

“Okay. I love you, too,” Bucky said in a light tone, his smile falling the second he looked back at John and smacked the table against the wall with a clang. The agent looked like he was on the verge of passing out. “Next time you see my girl, apologize and walk away. And the next time you have a cold, stay the fuck home or you'll answer to me.”

Yeah. I’m going to suck the soul from his body to thank him for everything the moment we get home.

And maybe the two of you could take another sick day to spend the day in bed.

Totally normal boyfriend, right? Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Why did they change Fellow’s and Gidel’s name for EN but not Rollo’s? So weird you’d think they’d at least be consistent and change all the names or none at all.

[Referencing this post!]

hchfxbjsbajCgwhq Deep breaths, everyone 😅 Deeeeeeep breaths…

I know a lot of us might be displeased with the name changes (moreso with Fellow’s than with Gidel’s) but let’s remember that, at the end of the day, they’re just names. They’re not erasing the original names, they’re not changing the context of the event story, and no one will force you to use the new names if you don’t want to. Your feelings are valid, but please be mindful about how you express them (because unfortunately I fear it can very easily veer into insulting or talking down to the localization/the localization team or fans who don’t mind/actually like the name changes 💦 It is partly for this reason that I did not include the other asks I received on this topic, as they could be needlessly inflammatory).

That being said, here are my thoughts on the matter: initially, I didn’t like the names. My automatic thought was that they sound like a corny 4Kids dub where they changed the Obviously Japanese Name (ex: Ichigo) to something Very Western (ex: Zoey). However, I’ll also be the first to admit that I also initially found the Japanese names odd because who names their kid FELLOW?? It’s like naming someone Person. I’m used to it now, but it definitely took me weeks and weeks to consider “Fellow Honest” a full name.

I’ve seen some people say that Fellow and Gidel’s names are meant to be silly sounding (and so the localized names are actually fitting), but I don’t agree with that sentiment. To my knowledge, no one in-universe ever laughs at their names or says they’re out of place. If the names were intended to be perceived as silly, there would be remarks indicating this. For example, “Tsunotaro”/“Hornton” IS silly because characters make explicit mention of how strange the nickname is. This is not true of Fellow and Gidel, so I don’t believe their names are supposed to be unserious.

I’ve also seen a lot of people poking fun at “Ernesto Foulworth” because “it sounds like such an obvious name for a scammer”. And yeah, maybe that’s true depending on who’s looking at it. I get where people are coming from. Buuut to play devil’s advocate, “Fellow Honest” invokes similar vibes. Both names have that element of honesty/earnest, but “Fellow” is more of a “John Doe” or generic name whereas “FOULworth” sounds bad since we associate the word foul with negativity. Essentially, both names are shady in their own ways but “Ernesto Foulworth” gets more flack because foul triggers an automatic negative association whereas fellow is more neutral.

So then I sat with the localized names for a little longer and the changes started to make a little more sense. To me, both sound very Italian, which fits given that Pinocchio has Italian origins. Additionally, “Ernesto” looks and sounds like “earnest”, which refers to being truthful. His surname, “Foulworth”, may be a reference to Honest John’s full name? Worthington Foulfellow. (I have no insights for Gino, unfortunately… other than making him “match” Fellow’s name better since they’re a pair?)

In all honesty (heh) though, I still don’t really like the new names even considering that context. I’ll probably keep calling them by their Japanese ones. I’ll never be a fan of any name changes because it means I have to go back and edit the tags on ALL my related posts, lol

Side note: shoutout to all the folks saying the names sound Ace Attorney-esque, how you think of Ernesto de la Cruz from Coco, and/or joking about how the EN names are Fellow and Gidel’s fake identities/aliases while they’re on the run from the cops 😭 I laughed too hard reading those comments cbwhebjzbwiwhwlek

Now, I’m not sure why the names were changed considering that names prior have largely been unchanged (Cheka, Marja, Najma, Rollo, etc.), save for maybe some spelling changes (Meleanor -> Maleanor, Baul -> Baur, Farena -> Falena, Leven -> Raverne, etc.). The only huge exception to this is Kifaji, who became Neji in EN. Here’s some theories and speculation going around in the fandom about Fellow and Gidel’s changes:

Copyright issues???? For example, you can’t really trademark “Fellow” and “Honest”, but you could maybe trademark “Ernesto Foulworth”. (This doesn’t explain Gino’s name or why they couldn’t trademark “Fellow Honest”.)

Another interpretation of copyright issues theory is that there’s weird legal stuff happening between Aniplex and Disney (international), which forced the name changes. (I think this one assumes a lot of tight regulations and hinges on how litigious big corpos and especially Disney are when it comes to “protecting” their brand and properties.)

Some have suggested that “Fellow Honest” is noun-adjective word order, which is uncommon in English. In “Ernesto Foulworth”, the first name looks and sounds like the adjective “earnest”, meaning the adjective(s) come first, which is more common in English. (This theory is a little incomplete though; there is no noun in the localized name to complete the thought. Additionally, Japanese also usually goes with the adjective-noun rule, so “Fellow Honest” would be an unusual name for JP too. And again, no explanation for Gino.)

… ITALIAn REP BABY 🇮🇹

[dreamywriter143]

Nihona

Title: Nihona (Endearing/Sweet)

Status: Prologue (0/3)

Parings: Neteyam x Reader (Step SiblingReader), Sully’s x Reader

Genre/Warnings: ANGST, Mentions of death, Pregnancy, Romance, Fluff, Jealously, Forbidden Love Troupe, Step-Siblings, suggestive content!!, NSFW/MDNI (later on? Maybe not, depending on the response) All characters are AGED-UP.

Summary: Miréya and Neytiri have been best friends since birth. Miréya was always by her side, comforting her when she lost her sister and when the sky people attacked. Neytiri loved her as if she was her own sister. Loosing her was unbearable for her and Jake. What will happen when they take in what is left off her? Take care of her daughter who is completely alone in this world? How will she adapt to her new family?

Word Count: 2.4k

**IMPORTANT PLEASE READ** A/N: This is a TEST! I was originally going to scrap this entire idea but I wanna see if you guys would like this. Please comment if you’d like me to continue ! And please read the Author’s note at the end for further context.

__________________________________________

“Neytiri-“ Miréya whispers, her voice cracking.

She reaches out her shaky hand feeling for Neytiri. Her eyes squinting shut in pain as another whimper escapes her lips. Neytiri leans closer to her, her eyes brimming with tears watching her friend suffer.

Neytiri held her hand tightly within her gasp as the female Na’vi groans in pain. A thick layer of sweat covering her entire form as Mo’at sat in between her legs which were propped up for better access. Mo’at frowns deeply before turning to another female Na’vi in the tent.

“Get me more water!” She orders, her voice thick with emotion. Something she tried to hold down as she was Tsahik, she couldn’t show emotion. Even if she knew the terrible outcome the current situation would befall.

“I’m here, I’m here sister” Neytiri whispers soothingly, wiping her tears as Miréya forces her eyes open. Her eyes were droopy with fatigue as sweat ran down her face, desperate gasps escaping her as she struggles to breathe.

“You’re going to have to push, are you ready?” Mo’at says from her spot, placing cloth under the girl. Miréya nods shakily, turning to Neytiri fully.

“Neytiri-“ she calls again, her hand gripping her tightly,

“-if I don’t make it-“

“No! No sister, don’t say such things!” Neytiri begs unable to hold in her own sobs. Maybe it was due to the fact Neytiri knew the pain her friend was going through as a mother herself. Or was it the realization when Mo’at gave her a solemn look of defeat mid way through the birth. But she wouldn’t let Ewya take away her dear friend, she couldn’t allow that.

“Sister, my dear sister. Please listen to me” Miréya gasps, clenching her teeth as a surge of pain stings through her body. A paralyzingly pain running through her and rendering her immobile.

“P-please take care of her. Take care of my pr’rnen” (Baby) Miréya begs, fat tears sliding down her cheeks. Neytiri shakes her head in denial.

“No! You must be strong, you must be strong for your baby” she encourages her voice cracking in pain. Miréya manages to smile softly at her dear friend, someone she confided with when she felt lonely. Someone who held her as she mourned her mates death many moons ago. The very same friend who couldn’t be happier when she heard of her pregnancy. Neytiri was the first person Miréya relayed the news too.

“I-I can’t….he’s calling me” Miréya whispers, smiling as a certain someone voice catch her ears. A voice she had missed so much.

“W-ho?”

“Ro’até…..Ro’até is calling me. It’s my time” Miréya says softly, her eyes getting heavier. The numbness from the tips of her toes travelling upwards.

“Promise me-“ She gasps, using what little strength in her to lean towards her best friend.

“Promise me you’ll take care of her. Promise me” she begs. Her voice full of raw emotion, Neytiri closes her eyes, her locks falling past her shoulder as her body shakes.

“Yes, I swear I’ll protect her with my life”

~~~~~~~

Jake smiles to himself as Neteyam cooes in his arms, reaching up to grab his much larger finger. Jake chuckles to himself watching in awe how small his son was, even though it’s been a couple of months already.

His ears twitch in alert when he hears his mates familiar steps near their family tent. Carefully getting up while still holding Neteyam, Jake faces the door as Neytiri walks in her shoulders slumped.

Within a flash Jake is by her side, his eyes filled with concern as he takes in her disbelieved appearance. Tears stained her cheeks as fresh ones well once again. Her hair was in disarray, sweat dripping down her forehead as she huffs out.

“Ma’Jake” she whispers, as if assuring herself he was there with her. She looked at her mate with a broken expression causing Jake to frown. Carefully tucking Neteyam under one arm he reaches out for her pulling her in.

“Shhh my love. What wrong? What happened?” He asked softly, his tone held that ofconcern. He had bid Neytiri off earlier today with a smile when she had let him know that Miréya, their friend, had gone into labour.

“She…….. Miréya is with Ewya Ma’Jake…” Neytiri whimpers out fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. Jakes eyes go wide, his throat closing in with sadness as he tries to confirm what his mate had told him. He pulls Neytiri down to sit on the mat as she was visibly shaking.

Miréya was the only other Na’vi who had accepted Jake when he had come to their clan. She convinced Neytiri that Jake could become one with the clan. Immediately became close with the friendly Na’vi and her mate. Though Ro’até was a man of few words, he respected Jake when no other male had at the time. Jake felt great loss when he couldn’t protect him. And now, he lost Miréya.

“Wh-at…what do you mean” Jake asks, his voice cracking under his own despair. He focused on Neytiri, pushing down his own sadness. He felt himself slowly slip into his thoughts, but he forced himself to stay alert. He had to, for Neytiri’s sake.

“She was too weak. She knew this pregnancy would be difficult but she still chose to keep the baby….she…” Neytiri whispers, glancing down at the small bundle wrapped in her arms.

Jakes eyes widen, forgetting the tears that slide down his cheeks. He stares at the carefully wrapped bundle that seemed to stir in Neytiri’s carful grasp. He was so focused on Neytiri he didn’t seem to register that she was holding a baby.

“She has no one Ma’Jake…I’m….we’re all she has left” Neytiri croaks, she gently removes the wrapping revealing a beautiful baby girl. Her e/c eyes shining brightly under the dimly lit tent. Her stripes and freckling glowing in the dark. She babbles quietly straining to open her eyes.

“We’ll take her” Jake responds without missing a beat. He stares at the girl in awe, she was significantly tinier and smaller than the boy in his arms, looking that much more delicate. Neytiri nods, her eyes locked on the girl in her arms. She smiles softly while wiping a tear.

“I want to name her Y/n…. Miréya would have liked that” Neytiri says, glancing at her mate who smiles warmly despite his own tears.

“What a beautiful name….Y/n, our baby girl” Jake agrees proudly, cuddling up next to his mourning mate. The sudden movement jolts the baby fully awake as she lets out a squeal of surprise followed by a cry.

“Oh, shhh. Shhh my dear” Neytiri coos trying to calm down the startled baby in her arms. At the sounds of her cries Neteyam peers over at her in question, his lower lip jutted out in a pout.

Jake notices his sons interest deciding to scoot closer to the baby. He smiles seeing how Neteyam reaches his chubby hand out to her.

“This is your sister, Y/n” Jake says softy wiping away the tears.

Neteyam reaches to grasp the baby’s hand, wrapping his chubby fingers around her tiny ones. The moment he grabbed on her cries immediately calm down. It was as if the mere touch caused her to relax.

Neytiri and Jake smiles amongst themselves at the sight. Neytiri leans down to place a soft kiss on her forehead as well as her son, who didn’t let go of Y/n’s hand.

“Protect your sister Neteyam, she is very special to us”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~13 Years Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And protect her he did.

Neteyam and Y/n were stuck like glue. Always a few steps behind one another, even after Kiri got adopted into the family followed by Lo’ak and Tuk. They never seem to far away from one another.

Neteyam always watched out from her, carefully taking care of her as if she were made of glass. In a way, she was. To him. He treated her with nothing but love. Neteyam always admired his baby sister, his precious sister he couldn’t help but love with all his heart.

He helped her with wielding her first bow, helping her with her very first kill she was ecstatic about. He helped her train hard in preparation to tame an Ikran. And celebrated with a flight over the hallelujah mountains when she finally tamed her green Ikran she named in hoi out of her mother previous Ikran. Seze.

Neteyam never seemed to get tired of her either. When she would get into mischief with Lo’ak and Spider, Neteyam always took the blame. He would face his fathers wrath all over again so he wouldn’t have to see his baby sister upset.

He also kept teasing Na’vi boys away, far away. He was her personal bodyguard. He didn’t know what motivated him, but he always made sure no one attempted anything with her. She barley had any guy friends due to this. Not that she complained, she was satisfied with her older brother that meant the world to her.

As the children grew so did their bodies and their thoughts. Touches and kisses that were nothing but innocent seem to morph into something else. Something passionate. At least to Neteyam.

The first time Neteyam felt jealousy was when he saw a guy make a pass at Y/n. In front of him. Due to his baby sisters innocence she didn’t understand the vulgar meaning behind what the boy had said, but Neteyam did. He had the boy on the ground before he could finish his sentence, his feet pressing his face into the soil beneath him.

Even whilst getting lectured by Jake and Neytiri regarding his sudden aggressive behaviour Neteyam couldn’t help but replay the event over and over in his mind. He felt jealousy, jealousy that stung him deep. But he also felt his heart clench with a feeling he didn’t know. A feeling he couldn’t quite decipher.

The next couple of years Neteyam finally understood what he felt as Y/n grew to be a beautiful Na’vi. His beautiful baby sister he couldn’t help but love, love in a way he knew was forbidden.

Neteyam tried to distance himself at first but the pain he felt while avoiding her was unimaginable. It was when he caught Y/n sobbing hysterically at their sudden distance he realized how tough life would be. He couldn’t stay away from her, but he couldn’t change his feelings either. He would have to be her brother, all while loving her in a way that seemed to cause heartbreak.

“What’s wrong? You’re unusually quiet today” Neteyam claims as he scoots closer to Y/n. Their feet dangled below them as they sat perched on a branch high above the ground.

The small and adorable pout that Y/n tried to hide did not go unnoticed by Neteyam. Then again, nothing ever did. He was always watching her, always keeping her in a close distance to make sure she was ok. Make sure she was safe.

“I overheard some girls today” she sighs out knowing very well she couldn’t lie to her brother even if she wanted to. Neteyam hums in response urging her to continue.

“They were talking about…kisses. A lot of them-most of them have already had their first kiss!” Y/n blurts out throwing her hands in the air out of frustration. Neteyam’s eyes grow wide, his body stiffens at her words.

“And?” He asks after clearing his throat harshly. He forced himself to keep his eyes trained on her eyes, avoiding the idea of glancing down at her pillowy lips.

“This is embarrassing….I haven’t had my first kiss…I’m starting to feel left out!” Y/n admits, blowing a practise of hair that was loose out of her braid.

Neteyam coughs at her words. It was true he hasn’t had his first kiss either, but there was a reason for that. He was so in love with his own sister he couldn’t find it in his heart to move on. Let out make a move on some Na’vi he would never grow feelings for.

“Do you….want a kiss?” He asks, carefully wording his thoughts.

“Yes-of course!” Y/n quickly responds, turning to face her brother. Her ears twitch in excitement at the thought.

Neteyam feels his heart race against his chest, his mouth going dry as he utters the words his heart wanted to scream.

“Do you want to k-kiss me?” He asks quietly. Y/n’s eyes growing wide at his words.

“-as a practice!!” He quickly adds as Y/n furrows her eyes in thought. It takes her a moment but she shyly nods. Her eyes twinkling with excitement.

Neteyam gulps loudly as he pulls her closer by grabbing her waist. It was slim and seem to fit perfectly around his arms, something that sent a shiver down his spine.

Neteyam felt guilt eat him alive. Knowing very well every fiber in his body wanted to kiss Y/n, for his own pleasure. Because he desperately wanted to feel her pressed against him. He desperately wanted her lips against his. He felt terrible for using this moment to his advantage in a way, but all that reasoning muffle out as he gazes down at her lips.

“Are you sure?” Neteyam asks one more time, wishing she would agree. Y/n nods back, pushing herself closer to him.

Neteyam gently reaches up cradling her neck with his large warm hand. He leans down watching how she closes her eyes in anticipation. Feeling her feathery breath tickle against him is the last straw as he places his lips over hers.

A shock of electricity runs through both of them at first contact. Their lips mold together heatedly as if they had kissed many times before. Neteyam pulls deeper into the kiss breathing through his nose, refusing to pull away. Now that he tasted her he couldn’t get enough. She tasted sweet, addicting. He didn’t know how he refrained from kissing her before.

Y/n pulls away gasping for air, her eyes blown wide. Neteyam desperately tried catching his breath knowing very well he looked just as flush at her.

“W-woah” Y/n whispers as the reality starts to sets in.

She kissed Neteyam. Her older brother….

And she loved it.

__________________________________________

A/N: I just wanted see if you guys would actually be interested in this story. In no way is Reader related to Neteyam by blood but this is a step-sibling kinda situation. If I get positive reviews back I’ll continue with the 3 chapters I had planned (which will include a NSFW scene), if not I’ll delete it! I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable while reading this. So please let me know what you think! Thank you guys☺️☺️❤️

[tojisbbg]

𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙

❝and i am the idiot with the painted face, in the corner, taking up space.❞  

♡ izana kurokawa ♡

pt. 1, pt. 2

a/n: please read the previous chapter for better context! reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated <3 talk to me! lmk in the comments or in my dms your thoughts :)

content: royal! au, prince izana x princess y/n (reader), arranged marriage, shitty/toxic parenting, angst, cheating, izana’s a jerk, swearing/cursing, maybe smut (?), strangers to enemies to lovers, not checked for grammatical errors.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

the long dreaded weekend finally arrived, a rainy saturday evening embraced the kingdom. you were sitting at your vanity in a robe, staring at yourself in the mirror as you tried to familiarize yourself with this new sight. 

you cut your hair. 

well, you didn’t do it, but the decision was impulsive. your once long hair that reached below your ass would always be in a bun or braid. now, it was shoulder-length with subtle wispy bangs to complete it. you smiled at yourself, feeling like the prettiest woman, as you finally had the freedom to do what you wanted. 

your mother never let you cut your hair, nagging at you about how men loved women with long and luscious hair. you hated it, absolutely despised it truly. your hair would always get in the way of tasks, tangled and was a nuisance to wash. 

not to mention your head felt like there was a boulder on it. but now, you felt lighter and a little dainty, too. 

you picked out a lavender colored dress to wear for the dinner, slipping it on as your hands reached for your back to zip it up. you struggled for a few seconds, huffing in frustration as you clicked your tongue. 

you opened your door a little, poking your mouth out as you yelled for one of the maid’s to come upstairs. your eyes suddenly fell upon the figure exiting in the far distanced corner, walking towards your room. as izana came closer, you got a good look of his fit. 

it was simple, a casual white silk button-up and black slacks. yet, he looked so handsome. 

“you ready?” izana calmly asked, approaching your door as you inched back, slightly closing your door more. 

“almost, i just need help with something. give me a few minutes and i’ll be out.” you replied, the tension between you both still a little off from the previous events from earlier this week. 

“move, i’ll help you.” he suddenly blurted out, catching you by surprise as you didn’t have the time to react when he opened your door, inviting himself in. 

“what do you need help with?” izana asked, eyes locking with yours as his hands were shoved in his pockets. for some reason, your words were stuck in your throat, not knowing he suddenly made you feel so nervous. 

“my zipper.” you meekly responded, making him hum in response. he placed his hand on the small of your back, pushing you towards the huge mirror on your vanity as you both now stood in front of it, with him behind you.

izana’s finger’s momentarily grazed the soft skin of your back, sending off goosebumps all over your body. your heart began to beat faster, the proximity to him allowing you to get a whiff of his scent, playing games with your mind. 

“you cut your hair?” izana asked, but his words came out like a whisper, his warm breath fanning over your ears. 

“yeah. why?” you asked, afraid that he’d make some snarky comments about how you look ugly as traditionally, women weren’t allowed to have short hair. 

“no reason, it suits you.” he complimented, making your heart jump from the sudden kindness coming from him. 

he slowly began to pull the zipper up, a hand on the side of your hips as you tried your best not to think much. you looked forward in the mirror, only to find his lilac eyes staring at you. you both locked eyes, unable to pull away. you could feel his hard chest against your back and it made you shudder. 

why did you feel so hot all of a sudden? was he always this attractive? of course, izana’s a king after all, yet; just something about him made your knees weak. 

“lord kurokawa! the car is ready for you and your highness.” the butler called out, breaking you both from the weird trance. 

izana pulled the zipper all the way to the top, clearing his throat as you quickly mumbled an awkward ‘thank you’ to him before he left. you sat down on the small stool, trying to distract yourself from what just happened a few seconds ago by doing your makeup. 

with a few final touches, you headed outside where the car was waiting for you as izana sat in the back next to the empty spot reserved for you. as per usual, the ride was silent as you played with the ribbon tied around the fruit basket in your lap, as you both were taking to your parent's house as a gift. 

as the driver parked the car, you saw your parents standing outside with a wide smile, making you roll your eyes. izana got out of the car, going over to your side as you were startled when your door got pulled open. you stared at izana in shock, watching him offer his hand. 

then you remembered that you guys have to put this little act together to show your parents that you both aren’t miserable with each other and are actually in love. 

without fighting back, you put your hands in his, which was shockingly warm and very soft. after exiting the car, you felt an arm snake around your waist, as izana pulled you close to his body. 

your breath hitched, never being this close to a person before, let alone a man. your knees felt like jelly, yet you tried to keep your facade, so that you and izana don’t get busted. 

“my little princess! how- what in god’s name did you do to your hair?!” you mother screeched, eyes widening in horror as she rushed up to you. izana watched with astonishment, seeing your mother pull you away from his hold. she touched your hair, in denial that you could ever do such a thing. 

“you stupid, stupid, stupid girl! have you not learned a single thing from me? how could you cut off the part of you that gave you your femininity? you look so hideous!” your mother cried out, making you scoff. 

“geez, missed you too, mom.” you walked past her, not sparing izana a glance as you didn’t want to know whether he’d give you a taunting look or a pitiful one. 

you didn’t want either. 

you walked to the dining space, placing the fruit basket in the middle as you took a seat in front of the usual bland and depressing food at your parent’s house. after eating so well for the past few weeks, you didn’t know if your body could go back to stomaching such awful food. 

“mother, all of this looks delicious.” izana smiled, making you snort as you gave him a questioning look. you could see right through him, there was no way he thought that this nasty ass food was good. nonetheless, he took a seat next to you as one of the maid’s began to serve everyone. 

“thank you, dear. i know my useless daughter isn’t much of a help, so please, help yourself. it’s my secret recipe too!” your mother boasted, making izana nervously chuckle as he dug in. you looked at him, waiting for his reaction and you could see how he quickly chewed and swallowed it before cringing. 

you smirked in amusement, watching him suffer, just like how you had to eat this disgusting food for your entire life. 

“so, how are things going between you both?” your father asked, making izana clear his throat before taking a hold of your free hand with his. 

“sir, i would cross the seven seas just to spend a second of my life with my beautiful wife. you have truly blessed me with your daughter and for that i thank you.” izana spoke, making your heart clutch in pain as you knew that those were a bunch of white lies that he told your parents. 

yet, for some reason, a part of you secretly wished that he meant it. 

“what joy! y/n, do you have nothing to say? it’s been ages since we’ve seen you.” your father’s eyes shifted to yours, as you silently picked at the chicken and surrounding vegetables. 

“i am simply following your rules, which is having my husband talk for me since i am of course to be treated like a porcelain bimbo doll.” you snarked, making both of your parents sigh out in frustration. 

“for goodness’s sake, y/n, can we all please have a nice family dinner?” your mother begged, making you glare at her. 

“i literally did nothing, why am i always the one to blame?” you said through gritted teeth, constantly feeling attacked by your parent’s bipolar decisions. 

“you’re no longer a child, y/n. you know how this world works and the responsibilities that come with it. ever since you’ve arrived here today, you’ve been nothing but a brat. you have nothing good to say or any future plans such as having kids-”

“woah, woah, are you hearing yourselves? having kids? we’re newly-weds, i barely even know his favorite color and you think we’re ready to bring in a child into this world?” your eyebrows furrowed, now getting visibly mad at your parents as your tone became laced with irritation. 

“we’re taking things slowly, nothing wrong with that.” izana tried to calm things down, but his attempt was futile. 

“your father and i had you a year after our marriage. you are a woman, y/n, your role in this world is to birth and nurture a child while taking care of your wife duties such as taking care of your husband. why must you always be stubborn and overcomplicate everything?” you mother shook her head in disbelief, giving you a disappointed looked. 

“your mother’s right. izana will go to war soon and he won’t be with you for some time. having a child would at least keep you distracted and make time pass faster while he’s gone.” you father added on, their ridiculous words making your eyes twitch as you couldn’t believe your ears. 

“so you think i’m some kind of sex machine? that i need a man’s touch and seed to keep me sane while he’s away? do you think i’m that needy and low? god, this is exactly why i don’t want to have a child now. i don’t want to make the same mistake as you both and raise my baby like how you both raised me. actually, i don’t even want you guys anywhere near my future child. you’ll only defile his or her brain with your shitty expectations.” your eyes watered, feeling absolutely humiliated as you dropped your fork on your plate, getting up from your seat as you rushed out of the dining area. 

you heard your parents and izana call out your name a few times, but you didn’t care. you needed to be away from them and get some peace, so you went to the garden.

you went to the cherry blossom tree at the very back, now drenched in the rain as your clothes and hair were now sticking to your body. 

but you no longer cared, sitting on the grass as you cried with your palms covering your face. you were so uhappy with your life, you hated your parents with a passion and you hated how you were stuck in an unhappy marriage. 

you had no one by your side. 

it made you wonder, was it even worth it to keep on going? this feeling of loneliness swallowing you was far too painful. 

there was no use of running away as your parents would find you no matter what, your father would sent out an army of soldiers all over the world to look for you. 

the only real option would just be to end your life, but you didn’t want to give up eveything because of a bunch of assholes. 

“i don’t know, please just shut up.” you whispered to yourself, wanting your inner thoughts to just go away and let you cry in peace. 

“but i haven’t even said anything.” you heard a familiar voice answer, looking up to see izana standing before you, an umbrella in his hands as he shielded your body with it. 

“go away, you’re the last person i’d wanna see.” you scoffed, hugging your knees as your eyes averted to your feet. 

“you know, if you didn’t want to come for dinner at your parents you could’ve just told me. i could’ve made up some excuse or something.” izana sighed, bending down to get eye-level with you. 

“both you and i know that we can’t avoid my shitty parents forever.” you said in a monotone, making him chuckle as he hummed. 

“you’re right, but atleast we could’ve gone when you were ready to face them. this whole marriage things is still very new to process, even for me.” he spoke with honesty, harboring a small comforting smile. 

for some reason, it made you furious. how dare he behave so well with you when he’s been nothing but an absolute shitbag back at home?! 

you didn’t want to be pitied, especially by someone like him. 

“can you leave me alone? i want to feel the rain on me and be sad.” you groaned out in annoyance. 

“okay.” izana blurted out, throwing the umbrella to the side which caught you completely off guard. he took a seat next to you, making you roll your eyes. 

“you’re seriously annoying, you know that? why are you suddenly being nice, i don’t need your pity or sympathy. i’ve been living like this for like my entire life, i’m not some glass doll who needs protection.” you nagged at him, wanting to hit a nerve of his so that he could get mad and leave. 

“i know, and i’m not trying to offer you any of those. your parents are assholes and that’s no lie. i guess what i’m trying to say is that i’ve been living in delusion.” izana’s eyes softened, making your breath hitch as you looked at him through your glossy eyes. 

“what?” you croaked out, still in shock. 

“i thought that you were the blame as to why i’m stuck in this marriage, because you were like those other princesses that begged their daddy to get them married to a rich prince. i didn’t know how badly your parents treated you, i was just so focused on my anger that i forgot about basic human compassion. i thought that because my parents were so loving and caring before they died, every family would be the same.” guilt was plastered all over his face and it was refreshing to finally have someone understand your misery. 

“i mean, in one way this marriage kind of saved me. i’m free from everything. it’s like my escape route, but one where my father won’t have the entire nation’s army search for me. so, i guess it’s not that bad.” you admitted, making him smile. 

god, why did he look so good even with his hair wet and face drenched in the pouring rain? 

your heart was skipping multiple beats at the same time, worrying you on if you were on the verge of having a stroke. 

“izana! y/n! there you both are, we were worried sick.” your parents came rushing to you both, startling you. 

“we’re so sorry, izana. y/n, you have spoiled your evening dress along with izana’s suit. dear god, you have so much to learn. you know, i had this meeting with other neighbhoring queens and they’ve put their daughters in these special classes. honey, we could fix this together. please, let me help you.” your mother gave you sickening puppy eyes, making your stomach churn in horror. you were silent, no longer having any words left to say to them. 

you looked over at izana, seeing his face darken as his jaw locked. you sensed some kind of dark aura embracing him, getting a little nervous yourself.

“what the fuck? can you please stop treating her like she’s diseased? god, you both are so obsessed with her! she’s perfectly fine the way she is.” izana angrily spoke, the vein on his neck popping out as evidence of his fury. you were shocked at his sudden outburst, not expecting him to fight back against your parents’ words. 

“oh dear, izana you’re too blinded by your love. this is not princess behavior, this is freakish, son.” your father tried to fakely empathize with izana. he placed a hand on izana’s shoulder, but izana roughly shook it off, making your parents gasp. 

“what’s freakish is how obsessed you both are in making my perfectly fine wife your little doll. she’s no longer your princess, she’s my princess and the future queen of my kingdom when i get crowned in a few months.” he bitterly spat, making your mother scoff. 

“you oblivious little child, one day you both will regret not listening to your elders.” your mother shook her head in disbelief. 

“yeah, well, i’ll be waiting for that day. till then, please do not ever contact me or my wife.” izana snickered, grabbing your hand before standing up as he pulled you along with him. 

before walking off, izana stopped in his tracks, making you stop as well. 

now what?

today was full of surprises and you couldn’t help but grow more curious as to what would happen. 

“by the way, mother. i would say thank you for the meal, but the dinner was absolutely horrendous. i wouldn’t even feed that to the stray dogs near my castle.” he smirked, as you turned to see the mix of anger and sadness paint your mother’s face. 

you couldn’t help but feel joyous inside, your heart feeling at peace knowing that your parents received the medicine that they’ve been deserving for years now. 

“wait, but how will we get home?” you asked, looking at izana and he looked at you with a mischievous grin. 

“a prince always has a plan.” he answered slyly, as when you both reached the front yard, you saw his car and the butler waiting with an umbrella as he welcomed you both inside the car. 

“lord kurokawa and your highness! i will inform the maids to prepare warm baths for you both as soon as possible.” the butler said in a panicked voice, making you smile. 

“take it easy, man. i just witnessed the best show of my life.” you let out a chuckle, hearing a soft chortle coming from your side. 

“yeah, it was pretty amusing.” izana admitted, making you hum in response. 

the rest of the ride was silent, neither of you knowing how to start a conversation with each other. you decided to sleep, knowing it would be a long drive home. 

---

you groaned, body aching as you sat up. you realized that you were in your bed and changed into your pajamas. you tried to recall memories of earlier and you remembered that you fell asleep in the car. 

then..

how did you end up here?

“the fuck?” you whispered to yourself. did izana carry you to your room? but what about your clothes, he couldn’t possibly change you out of your wet ones while you were asleep. 

“your highness?” you heard a knock at your door, giving them your command to enter. two maids entered the room, a tray with porridge and what seemed like medicine on the side. 

“what’s that?” you asked, pointing to the tray. 

“ginseng porridge and medicine. lord kurokawa has ordered the cook to make some for you and the royal doctor to give medicine to prevent a cold.” she informed you, making you unknowingly smile. 

“i see. oh, can you please tell me who brought me to my room?” you asked, trying to hide your embarrassment. 

“lord kurokawa carried you to your room and requested us to change you out of your soiled dress.” she said with dreamy eyes, making you blush for even thinking about izana changing you. 

“anyways, you may give me the medicine and take the porridge down. i don’t like eating porridge.” you cleared your throat, opening your palm as you waited for the pill. 

it wasn’t a lie, you hated porridge. you always flushed down the bowl of porridge your mother would bring up to your room, lying to her when she came back to your room to check up on you. 

“but, your majesty, this medicine has to be taken with food.” the maid meekly responded, making you groan in annoyance. 

“fine, i’ll just go downstairs and have yesterday’s left over.” you threw off the covers, the cold air hitting your exposed arms and legs due to the silk gown you were wearing. 

nonetheless, you were starving and headed down stairs. 

the hallway was quiet, the lights downstairs were turned off, indicating that everyone has went to sleep. 

you reached the bottom of the stairs, walking towards the kitchen as you tried to tiptoe. 

“what do we have here?” a groggy voice behind you startled you as you screamed, immediately lunging at the person behind you in defense. the person wasn’t expecting the sudden attack, falling on their back with a thud as you fell on top of them. 

you raised your fist to land a punch but the person beneath you tightly entangled their arms around you to prevent you from doing any harm. 

red alarms went off in your mind, tears welling in your eyes as you were now genuinely scared for your life. being caged in your parents’ castle had the only benefit of preventing you from any crazy harm, now you were fearful if they made any weird ties with shady people to make your life hellish. 

what if this time they wanted to get rid of you, for good?

“let me go! iza-”

you stopped midway when the familiar smell of light vanilla came to your senses. your heartbeat began to relax, making you let out a sigh of relief as you allowed yourself to melt into his embrace. 

“it’s you. thank god, it’s you.” you mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, hugging onto him tighter. you don’t know why, but you can’t decide whether you hate or like izana. all you know is that you didn’t want to let him go right now. 

“who else would it be other than you and me, princess?” izana’s voice was raspy and slightly cracked, as he comfortingly rubbed your back to help you calm down. 

you soon realized what was going on and quickly pulled away, standing up to your feet as you rushed over to turn on the lights. you cleared your throat, wishing you left the lights off as you knew your cheeks were bright red right now since you could physically feel them burning. 

“um, sorry about that. i was just a little paranoid and your voice didn’t sound like how it normally does.” you cleared your throat, avoiding eye contact with him. 

“it’s fine, i just came down for a glass of water and saw you lurking. oh, and for my voice, i have a sore throat. i sent your medicine to prevent it from affecting you, although maybe now i may have given it to you i think.” he giggled, making you smile. 

“yeah, i saw. i didn’t take it yet, i’m trying to look for some food.” you answered him, making him furrow his eyebrows. 

“did the maids not deliver you the porridge?” he asked.

“no, they did. i just don’t like porridge, it makes me gag.” you reasoned, scrunching your nose as he rolled his eyes. 

“that’s because you’ve been eating your mother’s shitty food for all your life so you’ve never had good porridge. this is my family’s recipe, i guarantee that you’ll like it.” izana swears, grabbing your hand before dragging you to the dining space. he walked into the kitchen and plated you another bowl of porridge and heated it up. 

“just take a bite, if you don’t like it i won’t force you to eat it.” he assured, making you sigh as you obliged with his request. 

you scooped up some of the porridge, making sure to get a little bit of everything in it. the porridge wasn’t bland like your mother’s, it had a lot of veggies along with chicken and what seemed like pickled vegetables as well?

you placed the bite in your mouth, tasting the food. the warm food going down your throat brought you some comfort, the taste of the different seasonings including the pickled vegetables brought your tastebuds back to life. 

you quietly inhaled the food, sensing the prideful aura radiating off of izana. 

“it’s good, isn’t it?” izana taunted, making you clear your throat. 

“it’s alright.” you said with a mouthful of the porridge, struggling to speak as he chuckled from your stubbornness. 

silence fell upon you both once again, running out of things to talk about as you ate. izana was trying to distract himself from constantly looking at you by reading his official papers. 

“finally some good fucking food.” you breathed out as you dropped your spoon in the bowl, accidentally letting out a burp as you quickly excused yourself. 

“for a princess that’s be imprisoned with obsessive royal parents, you’re so brash.” he snickered, making you scoff. 

“huh?! the hell’s that supposed to mean, jerk.” you mumbled under your breath, annoyed by his words. 

“i don’t know, you’re just.. weird.” izana laughed, making you roll your eyes. 

“and what about you? i don’t think you can even take a shit by yourself without the help of your butlers.” you retorted an insulted back at him, making his eyes widen. 

“you little shit.” izana narrowed his eyes, making you grin. 

“grow up, bitch.” you remarked, knowing that you won this conversation. you got up with your bowl, heading to the kitchen to wash it. it started to rain once again, the soft pitter-pattering noice radiating throughout the hollow castle, bring a sense of peace to you. 

you walked back to your chair, the shuffling sounds of your slipper against the tiled floor caught izana’s attention. he helped you with taking out the pills, handing it to you along with the glass of water as you drank it. 

“do you like living in royalty?” izana suddenly blurted out, catching you by surprise. 

“of course not, every noble that exists on this planet are nothing but slaves to the cycle of money and power. i am most certainly not one of those dogs.” you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“you have a point, but you must admit, we royals live in much better conditions than commoners. we have people to serve us, protection, great housing and food. i mean, it’s a commoners dream to live like us, isn’t it?” izana tried to defend, placing his face on the palm of his hand, now interested to listen to your rebuttal. 

“the devil never makes a deal with a desperate soul if it doesn’t sound appealing. these commoners are completely oblivious about our lives, the abuse and creulty that it comes with. i’d rather live in a old, worn-out cottage with bread and soup as my meal than live this shitty life.” you angrily spat out, wishing that things could’ve been different. 

you weren’t upset with izana’s words, but rather with the fact that every other noble thought the same way as him. which wasn’t a surprise or anything, royal children were brainwashed to believe in this crap. 

“convince me.” he egged further, making you scoff. 

“tell me, did you ever get to feel the rush of the town’s river beneath your feet? the sun kissing your skin as you sit a feild of flower, having a small picnic consisting of bread, butter and fresh jam? or how about watching the stars in the great night sky on a hill?” you questioned him, making izana go silent as he never had an answer to give you. his silence answered your questions, as you gave him a sad smile. 

“me neither, and it’s all because while living in such fame and wealth, we forget to enjoy and cherish the creation of god. we forget to appreciate mother nature’s beauty and the gift of life.” you sighed, putting your head down as you counted the number of drops you heard. 

“wow i... i’ve never thought about it like that.” izana breathed out, eyes widened from shock as you just opened a whole new perspective of life to him. 

“yeah, well, being imprisoned for your whole life makes you think a lot. i’d kill to be a commoner, dance in the streets during festivals with the small children, eat street food, and just live in peace. i want to have flowers in my hair, dance with the stars and sing with the moon.” you dreamily said, similing to yourself at the romanticization of life. 

“is it that fun?” izana hesitantly asked, intrigued by your passionate argument. 

“like a dream that i never want to wake up from.” you giggled like a child, delirious with sleep as you knew these medications would make you drowsy. 

“hmm, i suppose you’ll have to take me to one to make me convinced.” he playfully said, making you hum in agreement. 

“i will, but what’ll i get if i win?” you mumbled into your arms, trying to keep yourself awake to hear his response. 

“whatever that is that you desire, i will service you. but if i win, you must submit to me like we were taught as royals.” izana challenged, making you smirk against your skin as you gave him a thumbs up. 

“you’re on, prince jackass.”

[moonrisecoeur]

refuge — ada wong

author’s note: hi, hello, this is a piece i was really considering not posting. i know how resi tumblr feels about dark content and i didn’t want to subject myself to harassing anons or people commenting how gross and disgusting i am for enjoying writing and consuming content like this, but after some reassurance from a couple mutuals of mine, i decided to go ahead and post it. please read the longer author’s note at the end of this post if you’d like to hear more of my thoughts. also feel free to ignore it if u don’t care lol!!

tagging @xoxostarlet bc star's my hypegirl :3

wc: 5.5k

content: fem reader, dom reader, noncon, fingering, strap in v sex, possessive language, lots of pet names for ada (sweetheart, pretty girl, sweet girl, baby, etc), ada calls reader a bitch a couple times, ada and reader are partners during re4. 

warning: this is heavy dark content. this piece contains noncon, the r-word, somnophilia, and mentions of weapons (not in a sexual context). there is no implication that this is cnc or consensual in any way, please read with caution! if you don’t like it, just don’t read it!

no adas were harmed in the making of this fanfic and this is just fiction. 

—

notes:

as you continue to pleasure her without her knowledge or consent, ada's mind begins to slip further into a haze of ecstasy and submission. she is completely at your mercy, completely helpless and unable to resist or protest against your actions. 

you press your thumb to her clit, “shhh, sweet girl,” you whisper, knowing she���s still asleep, “i own this pussy now…”

—

final warning: this is rape, in which reader forces herself on ada while she sleeps. please heed the warning. i don’t know any other way to make this clearer other than...

DON’T READ THIS IF YOU DON’T LIKE DARK CONTENT! 

—

“stay here, i’ll find us a way in,” ada says, and you’d be remiss not to believe her. if she says she can do something, then she can do it. don’t ever doubt her. 

she uses her grapple gun to get to the roof of the abandoned home, slingshotting herself into the air. she lands gracefully, of course, and finds an opening that leads her into the top floor bedroom. it’s got some decorations befitting for a young girl. it almost pulls at ada’s heart strings, but… she tries not to pay much mind to it all. it’s hard to not feel sympathetic to the people in this village, honestly. 

she walks down the stairs and unlocks the door to find you, standing there obediently as ever, “fancy seeing you here,” you mumble to her, and she rolls her eyes like you’re the biggest annoyance to her.

“we’ll stay here for the night until wesker can send a helicopter to get us out of here. the weather is too bad for a pilot to fly through right now,” she says, heels clacking against the floor as she makes her was to the master bedroom, gun in hand in case there were people she didn’t notice on her first check of the building. 

you follow behind her, shutting the front door and entering the bedroom on the ground floor. it’s nothing crazy fancy, but it’s nice and the bed is big and comfy looking. 

“because of the gaping hole in the roof, i wouldn’t recommend sleeping in the upstairs bedroom,” ada chuckles, but she almost seems shy. it’s odd for her, “and the living room couch looked too small for either of us when i checked so..”

“well.. we’re both girls, you know? i’ve had sleepovers before,” you tell her, and she scoffs looking away and looting drawers for anything she can find, “we’ll.. be stuck here all night. might as well get comfortable.”

“by all means, make yourself vulnerable to an attack. i couldn’t care less,” her voice is sharp but there’s a warning deep down that’s a little more palatable. ‘don’t let your guard down just yet’ is basically what she’s saying. 

you don’t heed the warning, though, shrugging off your gear and your jacket as you sit down on the bed. a couple minutes later, ada sits down next to you. you look up at her, and she seems off. maybe she’s not used to people blatantly trusting her like you do, but you’re her ally. you have shared interests and she has no ulterior motive. 

should she be wary of you? maybe? she’s not very sure, but she does like the way your eyes wander even though you try to be polite and not look at her in that kind of way. you’re respectful, and she admires that. even if she did want to watch you suffocate between her thighs. 

so she takes off her gear and boots too, leaving her just a pretty girl in a red dress and stockings. she seems.. softer, without all of her weapons and tactical pieces. and something about that softness drives you wild, leaves you aching for more, craving for more. 

ada doesn’t notice despite how observant she usually is.

“i think.. i’d like to go to sleep, honestly.” she hums, running her fingers through her black hair, “we should both get some rest. don’t want to have you shooting yourself in the foot tomorrow,” she chuckles to herself before getting up to stretch and laying down on the bed as you still sit on the other side. 

“sweet dreams,” your words are sarcastic but sweet, and ada doesn’t miss the double meaning.

“thanks,” ada is almost… quiet, in a way you've never seen her before. she's sitting next to you, not even hiding the fact that she trusts you. something you've never seen her do before, at least not this quickly. it's almost off-putting, honestly. 

as she gets up to stretch, you notice the way she moves. the way her dress shifts and rises as she walks, the little shift of her breasts as she stretches, and the way she looks at you. even something as simple as a stretch is... entrancing. ada is gorgeous, you know this, she knows this. 

but there’s something about this kind of moment, where she’s not even trying to get your attention or trying to pull you in. she just exists in a graceful, elegant way. 

your eyes wander over to her again as she lays on the bed, turning onto her side, facing you.

she's laying on her side, facing you and your eyes can't help but fall on her curves. you watch the way her body shifts slightly as she readjusts, the subtle movement of her chest as she settles. it's both enticing and frustrating because there’s nothing you can do with all of these feelings of attraction to her. a part of you wants to do something, to make yourself known to her, but you know that it's too soon. you have to move slowly with ada, but moving slowly is growing tiring. 

"let me look for a blanket for you," you say as you look around, "don't try to tell me you don't need it. it's cold out."

"i don't need it, really." ada says with a soft chuckle, shifting her position slightly, “don’t waste your time."

she's being stubborn about something as simple as a blanket, but that's just her personality. ada is stubborn to the core, and even the slightest amount of advice sets her off. that's just how she is, and you've gotten used to it.

ada isn’t used to people trying to take care of her.

"ada," your eyes come back to ada, glancing at her almost patronizingly

ada rolls her eyes at your gaze, shifting her attention away from you and back to the ceiling. she seems... irritated? not at you necessarily, but at the fact you aren't listening to her.

"i'm fine, i promise." the tone of her voice sounds just a slight bit annoyed as well, as if this conversation was really tiring for her. she keeps moving her eyes away from you, unwilling to make eye contact.

you're a little confused. is she really fine? or is she just being stubborn?

"you're cold, ada. i can see that."

ada keeps staring up at the ceiling, but eventually she looks over at you with a soft sigh.

"i'm... fine." she says again, her tone softening just a bit once she realizes there's really no point in fighting about this.

you find one in the cabinet in the hallway and come back to the bedroom where she's at, "here," you say, laying it over her.

ada's eyes shift to you for a brief moment as you place the blanket on her, but she soon turns her head away. her body shifts slightly, and she wraps her arms around the blanket in a gentle grip. she isn't saying anything about it, but you can see that she's relaxed a bit, no longer shivering in her dress.

her eyes are soft, almost... grateful.

"you should stop trying to fight me when i try to help you," you smile as you gaze down at her.

"i'm not... fighting you." ada responds softly, still not facing you. instead, she keeps her arms wrapped around the blanket, refusing to give in to the fact that you're right.

in a way, it's adorable seeing her so stubborn about something like this.

"mhm, whatever. just go to sleep," you say, walking over to the desk in the corner.

she shifts her body once again, now facing away from you entirely as she cuddles in the blanket, secretly grateful for your tender care. you can see her closing her eyes softly as she tries to fall asleep, her breath slowing down as she tries to relax.

she really isn't fighting you anymore, she's letting you get your way. not only that, but she's accepting your help rather than pushing you away. 

it's almost like she trusts you.

you pass the time before you go to sleep however you like, communicating with wesker or reading a book, but in any case about 30 minutes later, ada is out like a light, and you’re looking around this master bedroom curiously, and find a drawer that ada evidently did not get in to, because if she did, you would know. it has a single black strap-on dildo inside of it. it doesn’t look like anyone.. ever had the chance to use it. you wonder why, maybe it’s because of the parasite everyone in this village has. don’t really have time for kinky sex, do they?

you look over at ada’s sleeping form, and she would be the perfect target, wouldn’t she? all vulnerable. it’s not like she could stop you before it’s too late. 

you do the courteous thing and clean it first, but then you put it on, confidently striding over to the bed with it attached. you walk up to ada’s side of the bed, just watching her rest for a moment. 

god there is so much power coursing through your body, making you feel alive and in control and you could do anything to her and she couldn’t stop you. the power starts to go to your head, naturally. you brush a piece of hair out of her face, pulling her blanket down slightly to see her chest, and then pulling it enough to see how her dress rides up at the hips, and you can see the edges of black lacy underwear.  

ada's breath quickens as she sleeps, she remains on her side, her body completely exposed and vulnerable, completely at your mercy.

she's so oddly... innocent.

she normally has this dark energy, this control and power over people and yet… she looks delicate. soft. she’s not a haunting crow signaling a bad omen, but a graceful white dove that brings out a side of you that doesn’t come out often.  and, despite her beauty before, now she looks absolutely stunning.

the wolf has become your prey, and you're nothing but a fox ready to pounce...

your hands shift her blanket slightly to reveal her soft skin, and her curves. you make sure she won't wake up, before teasing her with your touch, your fingers flitting over her skin... the way she shifts in her sleep is a treat for you.

as you watch her, ada seems to radiate a sense of calm and serenity, completely unaware of the effect she has on others while she sleeps. you can't help but feel drawn to her, wanting to touch her or kiss her or simply do awful things to her.

you use your hand to spread her legs, and ever so gently, rub your fingers against her puffy little pussy through her panties. ada remains completely oblivious to your actions, her body responding instinctively to the gentle caress against her folds. her hips begin to rock slightly as you tease her pussy with your finger, causing a low moan to escape her lips without her conscious knowledge. as she continues to slumber peacefully, ada's panties become damp, the wetness getting on your hand.

as you continue to tease ada, her body becomes increasingly responsive. her hips begin to move more erratically, betraying her deepening arousal even though she remains entirely unaware of it. despite the fact that she is fast asleep, her mind is fully engaged in the sensations coursing through her body. 

you gently, as to not wake her, pull her panties off of her and place them in your pocket, you know, just to have for later. you continue to rub her pussy lips while she remains completely unconscious. she stirs in her sleep every now and again, but.. maybe shes just chalking up the sensations to being from a wet dream. maybe all of this touch is morphing her dreams in sexual ones. 

you briefly imagine that maybe, just maybe, ada dreaming of you. 

she’s so unaware and it’s adorable. 

ada's body responds eagerly to your sexual exploration, her pussy becoming even wetter and more receptive as you continue to stimulate her while she remains completely unaware of what's happening. her hips begin to shift restlessly, and her breathing grows shallow as she approaches climax without realizing it.

she moans softly, her voice barely audible but conveying a sense of intense pleasure and surrender. as you continue to pleasure her without her knowledge or consent, ada's mind begins to slip further into a haze of ecstasy and submission. she is completely at your mercy, completely helpless and unable to resist or protest against your actions. 

you press your thumb to her clit, “shhh, sweet girl,” you whisper, knowing talking is a bad idea but you just can’t help yourself, “i own this pussy now…”

ada's body trembles in response to your words and actions, her pussy pulsing with growing intensity as you press your thumb against her swollen clit. her hips rock involuntarily, driven by the overwhelming sensations coursing through her body. as you assert dominance over ada's body while she’s helpless, her mind becomes even more clouded with pleasure and desire. she is completely at your mercy, completely powerless to resist or protest against your actions.

she gasps, her voice barely audible but conveying a sense of complete submission and surrender.

“aw, pretty girl,” you whisper condescendingly.

ada's body continues to respond to your ministrations, her pussy throbbing with building pleasure and excitement as she remains completely unconscious. her hips roll restlessly, and her breathing becomes more ragged as she approaches climax without realizing it.

as you assert your ownership over ada's cunt while she barely tip toes the line of consciousness, she is completely at your mercy, completely unable to resist or protest against your actions.

“cum,” you growl your command into her ear. 

ada's body shudders with pleasure as she climaxes, her pussy spasming. the release causes her hips to buck wildly, and she lets out a soft, involuntary moan as she succumbs to the overwhelming sensations coursing through her body.

she whimpers weakly, her voice barely audible. as ada cums, the sight of her glistening pussy and the scent of her arousal fill the air, leaving no doubt about the intensity of her pleasure. her body trembles and shivers and shudders in your grasp. even after ada orgasms in her sleep, her pussy is still so, so wet. how could you stop now? the wetness covers your fingers and drips onto the sheets, and it seems impossible to pull your hand away. 

you know she’ll hate you forever now that she’s waking up and about to realize what you’ve done. there’s still time to pull away, put her panties back on her and make her think she just had a wet dream, hide the strap-on away, but… you already have it on, and ada just looks so pretty, so vulnerable just lying there, helpless… 

she lays there, oblivious to your actions, her body still trembling slightly from the aftermath of her orgasm. the scent of her arousal fills the room, mixing with the musky scent of her sweat-drenched skin to create an intoxicating aroma that tempts you to indulge in even more depraved acts of pleasure. 

you decide that there’s no better time than now to get her back for all her taunting and teasing and condescending comments, “c’mon, sweetheart. let’s get my cock inside of you so you can sleep well..”sure, it may not be your cock, but right now, its just something nice and big and thick to fill her pussy with.

you pull her on top of you, guiding your strap inside of her gummy pussy, still feeling the aftershocks of her previous orgasm. you hold her close, her head resting on your chest as you fill her cunt with your strap. 

feeling the foreign object enter her tight, wet pussy, ada's body tenses up slightly, but she remains blissfully unaware of what's happening. her pussy walls clench and relax around it, coating it in her juices. you hold ada close to you, embracing her warm, curvy body as she lies atop yours. her weight feels comforting and intimate, adding a new layer of sensuality to your perverse act of sexual violation. this is such an awful thing to do to someone, force yourself on them while they’re asleep and helpless, but… you don’t care, clearly. and ada is too irresistible.

ada's pussy happily accepts your strap-on, willingly accommodating its presence within her sensitive walls. her body seems to instinctively know that it's a pleasurable thing to have something large and phallic deep inside of her while she sleeps, maybe the girl is a bigger slut than you thought she’d be. her pussy walls grip onto your fake cock tightly, coating it in slippery juices as they slide against each other with every subtle movement. 

her body relaxes, enjoying the fullness. her hips shift slightly, still in her half-asleep daze, for friction and pleasure. looks like the pretty little thing is already needy again. 

you just hold her close, whisper sweet romantic nothings to her sleeping body, and keep her pussy full for now, "oh, princess.. don't worry about a thing, i'll... i'll take care of everything now."

as you speak to ada in a soothing, romantic tone while penetrating her desperate and willing body with a strap-on, the contrast between your gentle words and your gross actions creates an intricate web of psychological manipulation. while technically assaulting her while she lies unconscious, the combination of your sweet touch and loving words creates an illusion of safety and protection. she feels small, loved, overpowered, delicate, all at one. 

all of these feels are so.. not like ada, but this side of her, the innocent victim, is so pretty, how could you resist it?

it almost looks like, to an outsider, that you would be lovers, especially with the gentle kisses you press to her forehead and the fingers tangled in her hair, but ada had no say in this. you’re 99% sure she’s still obsessed with that blonde dude from her past. she’s mentioned him before, vaguely and quickly changing the subject, but you notice the way her demeanor softens when she thinks about that man. if only ada were interested in girls too, then you wouldn’t have had to do such a disgusting thing like violate her just to sleep with her.

“it’s okay, baby,” you shush her as your hips start to rock up gently, giving her exactly what her body wants, “you’re okay.”

as you whisper soothingly to ada while continuing to penetrate her with your strap-on, ada's subconscious mind becomes increasingly aroused and responsive to your command. her body responds to your commands without question or hesitation, accepting your perverse act of sexual assault as natural and normal while she lies in a state of that borders on awakeness. 

your sweet words do bring her back to a state of rest and comfort, so you’re able to lull her back to sleep a little more. she wasn’t conscious enough to recognize the red flag that was you, her mission partner, figuratively balls deep inside of her.

as you continue to hold ada's body closely and speak to her gently, she remains blissfully unaware of the fact that she is being assaulted, allowing you to fully indulge in your twisted desires without fear of her interruption or resistance.

you notice the way she hums sleepily, her body slowly starting to awaken. she stirs, disoriented. 

as ada becomes more aware of your actions, she begins to struggle weakly against your strap-on, trying to regain control over her own body and resist the growing sensations of pleasure coursing through her unresponsive limbs. however, her attempts at break free are futile. for how strong she is on missions, she isn’t exactly muscular, and with your cock inside of her and your arms holding her down against you, she can’t get away. 

“pretty girl…” you whisper, pressing another kiss to her forehead.

“h-huh?” as ada slowly comes to full wakefulness, her eyes open groggily, and she looks up at you with a confused expression on her face, clearly feeling conflicted and upset due to the realization that she's being sexually violated while she lies unprotected before you, “w-what are… you doing? why..?”

her pussy is still dripping wet with arousal, despite ada's inner turmoil and dissatisfaction with the situation. the juices that flow from her swollen folds provide tangible evidence of the psychological bondage you've imposed upon her, making it impossible for ada to fully reject or oppose your disgusting advances.

“just couldn’t help myself..” you smirk, and ada has never been afraid of you, but she is now, “sorry, princess.”

ada looks at you with a mix of anger, confusion, and sadness in her eyes as she processes the reality of your actions. her voice trembles slightly as she speaks, struggling to find the right words to express her emotions in this surreal moment. "y-you... can't just... do this to me... i didn't... this isn't..." ada stutters, but despite her clear discomfort and distress, ada's pussy continues to glisten with arousal, betraying her inner conflict and highlighting the power you hold over her body and mind.

“i can do whatever i please. i wanted to fuck you, and that’s what i’m doing.”

“o-oh god, i… where did you even get a strap? do you just carry that around, waiting for me to- to let my guard down and trust you? so you could take advantage of me?” she keeps struggling, “i trusted you, i finally started to give in and- and trust you, you fucking bitch, you-”

but you notice the way she’s fucking herself on the strap now. despite how much she hates this, she can’t seem to stop chasing the high, “don’t talk to me like that, princess. i own your pussy now.”

ada's voice trembles with anger and indignation as she struggles against your strap-on, trying desperately to regain some semblance of control over her own body. but no matter how hard she tries, ada's pussy continues to clench and release around your cock, drawing out small moans of pleasure and frustration from between her clenched teeth.

her words are laced with venom as she accuses you of taking advantage of her trust and vulnerability, but despite her hatred and revulsion towards your actions, ada's body seems unable to resist the fact that she likes being fucked against her will, "fine, you think you own me? go ahead then! fuck me like the pathetic loser you are!"

you chuckle, leaning closer to growl in her ear, “oh, i’m the pathetic loser? you’re the one who’s going to cum for the second time while she’s being raped, princess. what does that make you?”

ada's eyes narrow with anger and indignation, but her voice is laced with a hint of defeat as she realizes the truth of your words. her pussy starts to throb and pulse, signaling that she's rapidly approaching orgasm despite her inner turmoil and feelings of utter disgust, "at least i'm not a disgusting bitch who gets off by- by-" she can't finish her sentence, instead letting out a soft whimper as her body begins to buck wildly against the artificial cock wedged inside her tight entrance.

"oh, sweetheart, i think you're the pathetic one here. you're the one who's so messed up that she gets off on being forced into sex by her 'trusted friend’,” there’s nothing more fun than watching the realization in her eyes that ada, closed off and guarded and untrusting, finally opened up to someone, and they immediately took advantage of her.

as ada's body starts to shudder and convulse with pleasure, she lets out a muffled cry of mixed ecstasy and despair, acknowledging the irony of her situation. her inner turmoil and conflicting emotions are reflected in the rapid movements of her hips, as they grind against your cock in an involuntary rhythm that only serves to further highlight her submission to your twisted desires.

despite everything, ada's pussy spasms with an intense orgasm, marking each passing moment spent under your control as a testament to her broken psyche and your ability to manipulate her most intimate areas with impunity, "ngh... fuck... y-you... ughh..."

"that's it, sweet girl, i got you. just let it all out.."

ada's breathing grows more labored and irregular as she approaches climax, her voice becoming increasingly strained as she struggles to maintain any semblance of control over her own body. she lets out a long, drawn-out moan, her eyes closed tightly as she gives in to the overwhelming sensations coursing through her unresponsive form. "uuugh... fuck…”

you lean in closer to whisper, “wish my cock was real so i could cum all over your pretty pussy, but… i’ll make do with what i’ve got.”

ada's eyes remain tightly shut, her voice barely audible as she lets out another muffled moan, completely consumed by the overwhelming pleasure coursing through her. she knows you’re watching her every movement and relishing in the knowledge that she has absolutely no power left to resist or oppose your perverse advances, "uuuugh... fuck..." her pussy continues to convulse and contract around the cock wedged deep within her dripping folds, as ada's body is pushed to the brink of orgasmic bliss, "s-so deep... i... i hate you... hate you... hate hate hate..."

“uh huh, i know, princess. that’s it, just breathe..” you whisper, helping her through her orgasm, “good girl, good girl… you’re okay.” the more she says that she hates you, the more you can’t help but adore her. she’s angry and helpless and there is nothing more cute.

ada takes several deep, shuddering breaths, her voice still strained and rough from the aftermath of her powerful orgasm. she feels your calming touch on her skin, and it helps to ground her slightly amidst the chaos of emotions swirling within her broken mind. "i'm okay... i'm okay..."

her pussy is still dripping wet with desire, it's apparent that despite ada’s mind hating it, her body loves being filled by your cock, even as she continues to struggle internally against the reality of her current predicament. "don't... don't touch me..." she says weakly, but there's no real strength behind her words anymore.

"shhh, there's no need to fight anymore, sweetheart. it's over.."

ada's voice is barely audible, her energy completely depleted from the intense emotional and physical experiences she's endured at your hands. her pussy is still dripping wet with desire, but now there's also an undertone of resignation and acceptance in her voice as she speaks. "no... more fighting... no use…”

“alright, i’m gonna pull out now, okay?”as you begin to withdraw the strap from her still-throbbing pussy, she lets out a soft, almost imperceptible whimper, closing her eyes tightly and burying her face in your chest. 

"just leave me alone... leave me..." she whispers, but it's clear that there's no longer any genuine strength or willpower behind her words.

the moment you pull out, she lets out a long, shaky sigh of relief, her body finally free from the overwhelming stimulation that had been forcing her body and mind into a state of constant arousal and submission. she also can’t help the small part of her that is disappointed when you pull out, her body craving being filled above all else. she hates that part of her, the one that feels so attached to you after this.

but despite her request for solitude, it's evident that ada's mind remains troubled, as she struggles to find any sense of tranquility or respite from the tumultuous emotions that continue to rage within her damaged psyche. "i want you to leave... but i don't want to be alone..."

as you take off the strap, placing it on the nightstand, you chuckle softly, “do you want me to stay with you?”

ada doesn't respond immediately, her eyes still closed and her voice barely audible as she tries to gather the remnants of her fractured composure. after a few moments, however, she lets out a soft, weak sigh, mustering just enough energy to answer you, “don’t.. touch me, but.. don’t go.”

you shake your head, ignoring her demands as you pull her close, tucking her head into your chest as you hold her.

as ada lies there, her voice reveals a vulnerability that belies the typically strong and confident demeanor she has maintained throughout much of your coworker relationship, "i hate you... but i need you... i can't stand you..."

“i know, baby,” you whisper back, “outside of our relationship, you can be ada wong, the… merciless badass who always accomplishes the mission at any cost, but to me? you’re just my little princess. whom i… sometimes use for my own amusement.”

ada hears your whispered words, and they cause a warm, bittersweet feeling to bloom within her heart, despite the harshness of your previous treatment of her. as you refer to her as "your little princess," she feels a strange mix of emotions coursing through her, ranging from gratitude for the rare display of affection to confusion and frustration over why you insist on maintaining such a twisted dynamic between you two.

and then when she hears you mentioning using her for your own amusement… she decides that, yeah, no matter how sweet and gentle and loving you pretend to be, she decides that she hates you. no matter what you do, she’s going to hate you indefinitely for what you’ve done to her.

but then you run your fingers through her hair and press more kisses to her forehead and she can’t deny how it makes her feel. her brain is frazzled and confused, if it even can still produce coherent thoughts at all.

she remains silent for a moment, taking comfort in the steady rhythm of your heartbeat as it presses against her ear. “how… why do i feel so safe with you? after you just… did that..?”

you shrug, kissing her forehead, "not sure. i expected you to be a little more.. feistier, honestly.”

despite her defiance and determination to remain independent, ada can't deny the odd sensation of safety and comfort that comes from being held close to you, even while acknowledging the humiliation you've inflicted upon her. "maybe because i am so stubborn, you find it satisfying to break me down? to turn me into your perfect little princess?" she asks, her voice betraying a hint of vulnerability and longing for something deeper than just your sadistic games, “...am i your.. perfect little princess now?”

you chuckle deeply, and she likes the way it feel so warm and vibrates through your chest.. oh god she cannot be feeling this way about you. you’re a rapist. you took advantage of her, she never even had the chance to consent..

but you whisper, “of course you are. also, i'm sure you're wondering what this means for our... relationship going forward.”

“yeah, i… this.. changes things..” she stutters. “well, we’re going to have to pretend that it doesn’t. we’ll finish our mission just like we were supposed to, and then.. we’ll discuss the details in the future. for now, you should, like, actually go to sleep.”

she sighs, feeling a myriad of emotions, from love and hatred (towards you and herself) and anger and confusion and so much more, but eventually she falls back asleep, feeling oddly and confusingly safe in your arms. you fall asleep with her, and when morning comes, nothing has changed. ada is jarringly reminded of how awful you are as we wakes up in the morning to your fingers inside of her. 

but she endures. 

and when she puts her gear back on, and practically begs you on her knees (very pretty sight) for her panties back so she didn’t have to go commando on a mission in a short dress, she feels like herself again. she holds her gun in her hand and takes a deep breath, determined to move past this and get herself back together. 

“you ready to go?” you ask her, and she looks back at you. you look somehow less threatening than you did last night, as if all of your actual weapons are less lethal than that fucking dildo you broke her mind with. she tightens her fists and remembers to breathe. ada is a survivor. she survived you. so she can survive this. she’s sure of it.

she looks back at her gun, wishing she could just shoot you point blank. she supposes she could if wesker wouldn’t be such a bitch about what happened to you. you’re practically the precious cargo she has to protect the whole goddamn time, forget the amber.

so she doesn’t, but… she imagines it. what an amazing picture that would be. she might just fantasize about it on the helicopter ride back. 

“yeah... i’m ready.”

extended author’s note: i think the discussion of ‘whether or not it’s okay or acceptable to write/post/read dark content’ is really odd to me. i mean, we read about awful things happening to characters in books all of the time, and we never tell those authors that they shouldn’t write about those things. is the problem then romanticizing these topics? i could name plenty of published books that romanticize these same kinds of tropes that don’t get nearly as much backlash.

i don’t know if people who hate dead dove/dark content actually have a problem with it, or if they just have a problem with their beloved  babygirl leon kennedy being portrayed as anything other than an innocent angel who could never do anything wrong. do i think leon would do half of the things he does on dc fics? no, but i do think people either 1) use dark content as a way to process their feelings and their traumas and 2) simply enjoy dark content because it’s taboo and, if replicated irl consensually, safely, and sanely, it’s also kinky and enjoyable. 

i think it’s also especially hard for people who enjoy the reader being the perpetrator/dominant character in this kind of content because in the opposite kinds of fics, you’re not actively doing something bad to another people. you’re just letting something bad happen to you. there’s a lot of justified guilt for wanting to be the dominant person/perpetrator in these fantasies, but just because it’s justified doesn’t mean you *have* to feel bad. it’s okay to like things as fantasies that you would find reprehensible in real life. i just want to say that no matter what your kinks and interests are (as long as everyone in your fantasies is 18+), you are seen and valid for them to me. please take some time to remember that you are not a bad person for enjoying this, and ada wong is not a real person who can be harmed psychologically by me writing this content or by you enjoying it. and if you don’t enjoy it, that’s okay too! you’re welcome on my blog whether or not you enjoy this type of media. 

as always, take care of yourself and read responsibly. 

[playedcrowd5610]

Little Hands Make Light Work - Danny Phantom x Transformers Prime

Summary: Starscream goes to the medbay and Danny ends up learning some cybertronian biology.

---

Notes:

Set in a series where Danny finds Starscream one day and decides to start haunting the Decepticons. That's basically all the context you need but if you want more here is the rest of the series:

Haunting the Nemesis

Part 1: Chasing Stars

Part 2: Burning Rubber

Part 3: Adventures of the Decepticons' Pet Ghost Or Tumblr Master List

---

Disclaimer: I am not an expert in cybertronian biology or human biology. So any medical jargon I use is mostly educated guesses and stuff described from content I have read before.

--

Knockout sighed dramatically as he watched Starscream limp into the medbay. “Really, Starscream? I just patched you up from that cave-in a week ago! You can’t seriously need attention again.”

Starscream growled, revealing his fangs. “I’ll have you know this is still part of that incident. You must have messed something up during your expert care, doctor.”

A new, smaller voice chimed in. “He was pacing, and his knee just gave out with a horrible crunching sound.” Knockout’s optics flickered down to the small human clutched in Starscream’s servo.

“Starscream, did you really have to bring your pet here? You’re introducing foreign contaminants into my lab. It was bad enough when you brought that thing with you in your subspace last time.” Knockout crossed his arms over his chassis.

The human glared up at him, mirroring the crossed arms. “Well, I’m the one who made him come, thank you very much, and I’m not leaving until I know he’ll be fine.”

Knockout sneered. “Delightful.” He turned his back to them and pulled out some tools. “Lay on the medical berth while I take a look at it.” 

Starscream took a few pained steps forward and placed the human down on the counter next to the incredibly sharp tools with far too little care. The human stumbled forward but didn’t say anything in retaliation, and only sat down cross-legged to stare at Starscream.

Knockout didn’t waste time focusing on the human and just turned to start looking at Starcream’s knee. His optics narrowed as he examined Starscream’s knee joint. He made an exaggerated tutting noise. “Well, well. What do we have here? It looks like a bolt slipped, not to mention some stress fractures.”

Starscream huffed, his wings twitching in irritation against the medical berth he was laid on. Knockout sighed as he picked up one of his tools from the counter and turned back towards Starscream. “After this, you will need to keep pressure off your leg for two solar cycles.” 

“Good luck getting him to sit still for more than ten minutes,” The human spoke up. “I swear all he does is pace and rant about his plans.” 

Starscream tilted his helm to the side to look at the human. “I don't recall asking your opinion, fleshling.”

The human threw his hands to the side. “Hey, I’m just saying! And if you didn’t strut around like a bird on stilts all the time, maybe your knee wouldn’t have imploded.”  Starscream rolled his optics at the human’s comment.

Knockout scoffed “How do you put up with this thing?” Even though he was secretly smirking at the comment. 

“I have a name you know.” It didn’t occur to Knockout that he never did learn the human’s designation, but he would rather do anything else than ask the human for it. When the human noticed that Knockout wasn’t going to ask he rolled his eyes. “Danny. My name is Danny.” The human -Danny- then gestured towards Starscream. “And don’t worry, he’s been trying to get rid of me for months. I’m like a parasite. Can’t get rid of me if you try.” 

“And believe me, I tried.”  Starscream scoffed.

Knockout transformed his servo into a buzz saw and held it close to the human. “Then allow me to try as well.” Starscream made a strange noise behind him, but the human didn’t so much as flinch at the show of aggression.

Starscream spoke up. “Stop threatening the human and do your job, Knockout.”

Knockout sighed and retracted the buzz saw with a dramatic flourish. “Fine, fine. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have real work to do, and your little... commentary is making this job harder, fleshy.”

Danny rolled his eyes and leaned back as Knockout bent down over Starscream and gripped tight to the joint to bend it to the right angle before pulling out one of his other tools. Out the side of his optic, he saw the human stand and walk closer to the edge of the counter to try and get a better angle of what Knockout was working on. 

“What exactly are you doing to his knee anyway?” He tilted his helm — or, Knockout guessed, the humans called it a head — to the side.

Knockout paused, genuinely surprised at the human’s interest. His optics flickered over to Danny, and he couldn’t resist a small smirk. “Oh? Interested, are we? Well, since you’re clearly dying to know... yes, this bolt connects the joint to the lower strut. Starscream’s stress fractures have weakened the metal around it, which is why his knee gave out.”

The human squinted, trying to follow along. “So, it’s like... when a human sprains their ankle, and the ligaments around it weaken?”

Knockout shrugged, not one hundred percent sure how accurate the human’s analogy was, seeing as Knockout didn’t know scrap about human biology, as he tried to stay away from them as much as possible. “Close enough, I suppose. Except with Cybertronians, we don’t have ligaments. It’s all metal and circuitry. Right now, I’m replacing the damaged components and reinforcing them with new plating.”  He explained idly.

Danny looked intrigued, his gaze fixated on the tech in Knockout’s servo. “And the tool? It just looks like a big soldering iron.”

Knockout raised an optic ridge. “This is a plasma welder. I’m using it to seal these fractures.”

Starscream groaned from the berth, wings flicking again in annoyance. “Do you two mind? I’m the one in need of medical attention here.”

Danny grinned. “Yeah, yeah, we get it. Big, scary mech in pain. Hold your horses.” 

Knockout couldn’t help but chuckle at that before turning down again to continue his work. After working a bit longer and getting the bolt back into place, he picked up a container of sealant and placed it down on the medical berth. 

Knockout huffed, looking at the joint again, annoyed at how small the seeker’s joints were and how hard it was to get his digit under the plating. It would be much easier if Starscream weren’t such a lanky mech. Or… if Knockout’s servos were smaller... He glanced over at the human sitting down again, but this time he had his legs dangling over the edge of the counter, swaying back and forth as he looked on. “Then again human, if you’re so eager to learn, I might as well put you to work.” 

Danny blinked in surprise. “Wait, you want me to help?”

Knockout shrugged casually, as if it were no big deal. “Why not? If you’re going to stay here and pester me, you might as well make yourself useful. Besides, Starscream’s less likely to kick you in the face if you touch the wrong circuit.”

Starscream shot them both a skeptical look before turning to face Knockout directly. “Are you seriously passing your job off to the human?”

Knockout leaned on the berth and closer to Starscream. “I mean, unless you like the feeling of my digits pressing around under your plating, then sure. The human is smaller and it will be less uncomfortable.” That, and there was the added bonus of Knockout not having to get that stuff on his servos again. Starscream simply huffed and crossed his servos over his chest as he tilted his helm to the roof. 

The human jumped off of the counter and landed with a running start on the medical berth, stumbling forward.  He saw Starscream wince slightly at the human’s leap across the gap. Danny waltzed closer to Knockout and toward Starscream’s knee. “Okay, what do I do, Doc?” 

“Take the sealant and put it under the plating over the parts I just welded. It will keep it together and help with the nanobot healing process,” Knockout explained. The human simply nodded and reached up to the container, which was almost as tall as him, and pulled out some of the sealant in a big glob on his hands, turning back to Starscream. Starscream stayed perfectly still during the application, probably trying not to crush the human's fragile fingers in the joint. 

Danny stepped back after applying it and looked up at Knockout, who scoffed and turned his helm away. “Not bad for a fleshling,” He muttered. “Maybe you’re not as useless as I thought.”

Danny smirked. “High praise, coming from you. Does this mean I’m officially going to be the new Decepticon pet lab assistant?” 

Knockout scoffed. “Please, I already have my assistant. You are just lucky he was out on a mission today. I don’t want any more of your carbon-based human filth in my lab...” He paused glancing down at the seeker on the table and back towards the human. “Though I suppose you can work on Starscream whenever he comes in. Maybe then, you can do that scrap on your own and I don’t have to deal with him anymore.”

Starscream sat up off the berth. “If I had my way, neither of you would be rooting around my systems. Yet here we are.” Starscream was ignored as the human addressed Knockout.

“If that will be the case, can I have some data pads on cybertronian biology, specifically seekers? I’ll try and read up before our next inevitable Starscream injury.” The human cocked a hip.

Knockout put a digit to his chin. “I’ll see what I can find. Then, maybe one day, you will actually make a useful second assistant.” The human merely chuckled.

Starscream groaned again. “Primus, spare me. If you two are done bonding, I’d like to get out of here before the next solar cycle.”

“Cool your jets, Heels, I’m coming.” The human responded, looking up at the seeker, who simply picked the human up and tried to balance on one leg.

Knockout did one last vital scan over Starscream and waved him off. “Just make sure to stay off of that leg as much as possible for the next two solar cycles.” 

Starscream muttered something in response which didn’t quite meet Knockout’s audials but the human shouted out a response. “I’ll try my best to keep him off it, Knockout. Thanks again!” He then waved over Starscream’s shoulder that he had climbed up onto. 

That really is one strange human.

---

Haunting the Nemesis

[firstkanaphans]

Not only do your FK Safe House posts give me life, because they were so freaking adorable when they were in the house together. I’m also so happy to see another person who cannot stand Foei and has not forgotten or forgiven him for the horrible things he said and did during SF, he is literally the reason they no longer have SF as a series. I was genuinely worried for First’s safety in the house once Tay also left, poor First left without close friends and with Foei and White still there, threatening to do the things they said!? I bet he was terrified to go to sleep at night. You know it’s bad when the producers pulled Foei and White out of bed first thing in the morning and marched them in front of the cameras - with First - to apologize to not only him but also the viewers for what they said. Foei gives me the ick so bad, so it’s nice to see someone else that feels the same way.

He’s a legitimately vile human being and just seeing his face makes me uncomfortable and angry. They should have pulled both him and White from the house after that happened. Like imagine the fallout if he had said that to a woman. He wouldn’t be employed. He wouldn’t be able to work in this industry. We would never have to see his stupid face again.

The sad thing is that I 100% believe First when he says he wasn’t offended, but I’m going to go ahead and be offended for him. I’ve always thought that Khaotung’s comment while they were doing Only Friends promo about how First is sometimes too nice and people take advantage of him was maybe referring to this incident—or at least incidents like it.

I also feel like it makes it 1000x worse that First and Tay didn’t even get the joke and they kept making it anyway. Like it’s one thing if you’re trying to get someone to laugh along with you, but it’s another when you’re making derogatory comments they don’t even understand.

And just to be clear, making those types of jokes is never okay, but I’ve seen differing opinions on just how bad what he said was in a cultural context (I believe the joke was part of a Thai TikTok trend at the time) and without being a native speaker it’s hard to completely pass judgment for anyone but myself. But for me, it was definitely not okay.

One thing I’m looking out for on my Safe House rewatch is Khao’s reaction to everything because he wasn’t in the room when it happened and I’ve seen plenty of people say he was acting differently towards Foei and White afterwards, but I didn’t notice anything myself at the time. I’m curious if he actually was more distant or if that was just wishful thinking on the fandom’s part. First was, of course, his usual cheerful self because he’s the nicest human on the planet.

Anyway, it was just a horrible situation all around and I agree that that is probably why we won’t ever get another season of Safe House. It still turns my stomach to think about and knowing they willingly said all of that in front of live cameras…What were they saying behind the scenes? The fact that Foei still has a job is unforgivable, but at least White’s gone. And good riddance.

I’m glad you’re enjoying my Safe House posts, Anon. I’ve had a lot of fun rewatching because it’s so rare to see FK completely unfiltered like that. They bring me so much happiness.

[And because I know I’ll probably get another ask about it, you can read the specifics on why I don’t like Foei here.]

[confirmeddead]

Going into season two, I was basically fifty-fifty if DM had happened in the past, I was also already okay with a reinterpretation of DM - in which past DM didn’t happen. Especially after the season premier, because I thought the tension between Daniel and Armand was great. I’m a little sad though that Daniel is already a vampire, because so much of what makes the DM relationship interesting and compelling is kinda related to it. I just don’t want it to be a cookie-cutter enemies-to-lovers - I can’t help but feel that would be a bit shallow. I want the relationship to have some depth and be actually romantic - you know? I see some speculation about a reverse chase, which could be cool - but Daniel doesn’t have a reason to chase Armand if he was turned out of spite. Unless he wants revenge, which given San Francisco is fair enough I guess. Also Rolin stating that the turning won’t be shown at any point and the decision not to show it made me lose some faith in the investment of the writers in the relationship tbh. I understand not showing it in s2 but never? I just feel like it’s even more of an important event if pastDM isn’t a thing. I’m happy to be proven wrong here, but I don’t know if I dare believe in what they have planned… but I’ll try to be more optimistic!

The three somewhat possible ”clues”/”hints” which might foreshadow a past DM are for me 1) Daniel’s comments about his memories of the 70s being ”all a blur” and waking up without any memory in a parking lot in Milwaukee 2) JA’s comments in the TV insider interview:  “But I will say, I think that Louis and Daniel, maybe there was more there. I’m going to get in so much trouble,” he giggles. “I’m going to start talking about it all.” 3) The comment about Daniel feeling freer to hold Alice’s hand in Paris.

To go into more detail:

1. Could be nothing, just a way for the writers to add some context to Daniel believing at some point that he did black out, as it becomes more believable for Daniel to believe that if his memories of that time are somewhat muddled in general. However, that line of dialogue does feel a bit like a foreshadowing line - as if there is something more about this very specific mention of an instance of memory loss. And if there is, it raises the possibility of a book similarity, in which Armand after imprisoning Daniel decides to stalk and follow him. In the show it would ostensibly be to find out what makes him ’fascinating’

2. JA’s comments are wild! What is he referring to? One way to interpret them could be that he is implying that there might be some sexual tension between Louis and Daniel, which might be revisited next season. “I’m going to start talking about it all.” does sound like someone talking about future plot lines. Another reading could be that there has been some sort of relationship between them in the past, which is to be revealed. This is especially interesting given that scene in s2e2 where Daniel asks about, and Louis and Armand tell him, about all the ’young men’ they would date/drain. Th framing of that scene, with Daniel at one point in-between Louis and Armand, could be read as foreshadowing a revelation that Daniel was at one point of of these young men. Of course, again this could be nothing. Just simple foreshadowing of s2e5, about specifically Louis draining the young gay men of San Francisco. I would not say it foreshadows Daniel’s encounter with the two of them, since that had already been revealed in earlier episodes (even Armand being asked to ’join’).

3. This one I’m the most doubtful about. I don’t believe in general that Armand is being kind to Daniel in this scene. I believe that he is actually going full ”manipulative gremlin” and trying to divide and conquer Louis and Daniel, to ensure the truth of the trial and San Francisco doesn’t come out. He is the one who in the previous episode told Louis that they together could bring the more manageable ’boy’ back (and starts off the whole thing of digging into Daniel’s past with Alice) and in the next episode he tries to apologize to Daniel on Louis’ behalf. Armand telling Daniel about Alice’s reasoning behind her refusal, can also be read as a form of intimidation - similar to how Louis asks if they should look into what Alice thinks of Daniel now. He does arguably try to hold back Louis a bit at one point, which could be an acknowledgement of them going too far and being hurtful (or being him as speculated being caring of Daniel since they have a past) but could also be Armand starting to try to play the ’diplomat’ or ’nice vampire’ to Daniel. The reason Daniel gets a PTSD-flashback is also in my mind not because there’s a connection between Armand and Alice, a take I still see here and there, but because Louis diving into his memories and bringing them up is so similar to Armand doing it that it triggers a flashback. However, with all of that said - what does Louis mean when he states that Daniel felt freer to hold Alice’s hand in Paris? It could be a reference to Daniel walking around in Paris with a guy (who would be Armand), finding it easier to deal with his internalized homophobia in a country where no one knows him, but could also be as others have speculated, that Alice is not white. The thing that does invite speculation about this is that they don’t reveal what the reason is, but this could be because at some point the idea was to actually show scenes of Daniel and Alice in Paris as they were brought up. So perhaps, that was cut because it wasn’t deemed necessary, leaving us with a bit of an unresolved comment.

Overall I find JA’s comments to be the most compelling possible clue. Also because I feel that the scene of Louis and Armand telling Daniel about their ’young men’ hasn’t really been resolved? But that could be nothing. However, if Louis dated Daniel together with Armand in the 70’s I can’t believe that Louis wouldn’t’ tell Daniel, especially after their connection at the end of s2e5. An easy reason could be that Armand erased Louis’ memories and that he did this simultaneously as he erased Louis’ true memories of the San Fransisco incident. This would also explain why Armand used the language of ”abandoning him” when referring to leaving Daniel. But, that would mean that Louis and Armand at some point decided to reconnect with Daniel after they left him at the drug den, which doesn’t seem very likely to me. Possibly Daniel sought them out again - similar to seeking out Lestat in the book, as he does not remember Armand torturing him. However in such case, Daniel’s last memory of Louis is the latter attacking him, which would be sufficient reason for Daniel to not seek him out. So while I’m intrigued by JA’s comments and would find a past DM-plot line compelling I don’t know if I believe that where the show is going.

What do you think? Any clues you find more or less compelling? I would very much like to hear about where you think the DM relationship is going/how it will play out - and what you would like to see? Especially if, as I agree is likely, pastDM won’t be a thing. Thank you! Sorry for long post!

So I actually have an idea as to why Daniel would reverse chase Armand!

Daniel’s background in investigative journalism and “nailing” the subject (no matter how difficult) is one of the main reasons he pursued Louis.

Let’s take Louis’ words as fact and agree it was out of spite (and Armand is gone)- do we really think DANIEL would just sit back and shrug it off? He’s independent and wouldn’t need as much guidance as book Daniel, sure, but if there’s one thing Daniel doesn’t do is drop the freaking subject. He keeps at it, even at a detriment to himself (continuing to poke at Louis even after Louis messed with his Parkinson’s in s1).

I get the whole enemies to lovers comment you make, but I think it’s little more nuanced than that given the SF event and Armand’s overall history. I made a post a week ago saying it’s SO fucked that even after everything that happened in SF, Paris, with Louis, and what Daniel will learn Armand did in Lestat’s past, Daniel will STILL go to Armand.

Daniel has gone through two divorces, has two kids, two Pulitzers, etc. like this guy has so much history with relationships and is an overall incredibly intelligent man (albeit a little self-destructive) and will still go to the evil, evil Gremlin that is the vampire Armand. It’s kind of hilarious.

Okay, Rolin’s comments regarding the turning were very odd to me and still kind of irk me tbh. Like it was such a pivotal moment for Armand and he shrugged it off. I gotta remember Hannah’s comments regarding this and her trying to calm the fans down about Armand’s character arc. They 100% know it pissed fans off (and annoyed Eric and Assad), so maybe they have something on the back burner regarding that? Just a thought!

Regarding your theories-

1. I 100% believe Armand followed Daniel throughout the years because we can all agree he can never let anything go EVER. Also, if this were true I’d be interested to know why he still didn’t want Louis to do the interview (besides the SF erasure)… maybe seeing him again would spark his fascination.

2. Jacob is a Devil’s Minion fan so I do think his little comments come from something. I’m actually making a big post on this and why I believe it’s literally in the script. I don’t know how much Jacob would know outside his own character arc but the scripts might have been very telling…

3. They may have been doing a good cop, bad cop thing but I do think Armand felt some sort of pity for Daniel, especially if we believe he was there the day of the proposal (doing his stalker stuff). I think the constant Alice comments are going to be important in season 3, especially with Daniel facing his immortality and likely having to contact his family. We’ll see more about this, I’m sure, especially with Lestat bringing up his own family dynamic (Gabrielle having to watch her own family die, Lestat’s estrangement with her, etc). Maybe getting to see Daniel’s thoughts about his family and his own maker in contrast with Lestat’s?

Overall I’m excited to see where they’ll go. My biggest concern isn’t the will they/won’t they (because we know they will) but moreso how much present-day Armand we’ll even get. Really biased look at things because I know it’s TVL time (and Louis is still a main character!), but it genuinely spooks me that we might not see him til Lestat meets him in 1700s Paris.

I want more Luke, I want conflicted feelings about his (Daniel’s) maker, and I would very much like at least one present day Armand and Daniel interaction to kickoff a 🤞season 4 🤞Devil’s Minion storyline (literally NO excuses, Rolin! It’s QotD!)

Thanks again for your ask and sorry for the delayed reply!

[forestfiresandfics]

Foils and Mirrors

Another oft misconstrued literary technique is that of the foil. It may just be me misconstruing it though, considering I have to periodically look up the definition because I’ve gotten it confused again. Character foils are two characters who interact and by their interaction, their differences are highlighted. TV tropes describes it as ‘the foil behind a jewel to make it shine brighter’ but another way to look at it would be the way yellow shows up better on a black background compared to white. Foils are defined by their differences. Mirror characters are defined by their similarities. 

While I don’t think it’s wrong to call 3rd life Grian and Martyn foils per say, I think a more interesting reading is them as mirrors. And really, the two aren’t mutually exclusive. I’m getting ahead of myself. 

Third life features a lot of parallels, both in plot and character arc, and the Desert Duo and Renchanting are often pointed to when it comes to discussions of this. I think it’s worth also including Flower Husbands in that list as well. And every day I consider adding Cleo and Bdubs to that list as well, but I haven’t quite decided how well they work, so for now I’ll focus on just the three groups. I will often in my writing and musing and comments and stuff refer to these three pairs as the ‘red-green’ pairs, because they spend a protracted amount of time where one of them is on their green life and the other is on their red. Scar and Grian are the most extreme example of this, spending 5 and a half episodes like that. But the timing of it aside, what’s maybe more important is that each of these teams entered into the battle of the red desert as one red and one green each. A pivotal moment in the story where we also see everyone mirroring each other. 

I think it’s fair to view Desert Duo and Renchanting as mirrors, with the flower husbands acting as foils to the others. Each share enough in common that it’s worth discussing all three groups, but while the desert faction and the kingdom share basically the exact same plot lines and traits, the hobbits serve as something of an alternative option—what they ‘could have been.’ Also fun, is that the Flower Husbands spend nearly, but not quite, equal time with both other groups: doing their job well as foils in the context of contrast-via-interaction. They discuss their statuses and their plans, and as far as the reading of ‘desert duo: protagonists’ and ‘renchanting: antagonists’ go, the flower husbands are ideologically neutral for most of the series. They make friends where they can, call out bullshit where they see it, and it wasn’t until they were thrown into the war that they actually participated in taking sides. 

So what are the similarities between each, and what are the differences? The similarities come first. All three groups are red-green pairs. All three pairs have some kind of strong partnership, all three pairs have a scene where the red of the relationship offers fealty with a trinket (flowers for the husbands, flowers for the desert, and depending how you see it either the rabbit’s foot or the axe for the kingdom). As I suggested before, Desert Duo and Renchanting have even more in common. Both partnerships began because of a debt, both leaders are businessmen, both leaders are red and indentures green, both of the indentures are the “brains of the operation,” both indentures grumble their way through the partnership at first before becoming devoted, and both sit on either side of the server wide war—not just as participants but as the ringleaders. There is also literally even a scene where Martyn tells Ren to put his clothes back on (“me lord? Fancy putting your armour on?”). Frankly this is just scratching the surface, it’s insane how perfect mirrors they are. 

This similarity between the two main groups on the server really highlight the tragedy (lowercase t) of the death game, how these two groups ended up mortal enemies simply because of the world they live in, despite having more in common than differences. And the flower husbands as foils in my opinion ALSO make it sadder. While renchanting and desert duo are messing around with complicated hierarchical relationships and testing loyalty and ordering their partners around, the husbands are working together out of trust and respect. Scott starts out with his fellow greens in rejecting the partnership at first, but he demonstrates what mutualistic relationship should look like, not to mention a relationship that doesn’t make itself the whole server’s problem.

This is already getting long so I won’t get into this next bit too far, but while the red-green pairs foil and mirror each other, each pair also serves as a foil for themselves. Scar is confident while Grian is timid, Ren is trying to do a lot all at once while Martyn is organized and keeps him in line. Jimmy is friendly while Scott is matter of fact. All the reds end up acting as cloudcuckoolanders with the greens to bring them back down to earth and on track. They are all somewhat odd couples, they are very different from one another, and the juxtaposition of these differences highlights each other’s traits as well as their strengths and weaknesses. These partnerships are all advantageous, and they can each fill in for the other’s weaknesses. All three partnerships wouldn’t have made it as far as they did without each other. Not that this makes them idillic partners, they each have their flaws as well, but that’s not really the point. They each help the other shine, like the backing of a jewel. 

Masterlist

[whalesforhands]

life never looked so bleak without you (alhaitham x reader)

warnings: reposted from my old acc cause i miss this fic, some parts might not make sense because you need context from the original fic, but can be read as standalone.

11k+ words

if you liked it, maybe i’ll migrate the fic here? haha comment and reblog pls, i don’t bite

log #1

age 3

“Welcome home, honey!” You bounced as you spun around from the makeshift ‘kitchen’. Made from corrugated cardboard and sheets of coloured paper, it was your dream household.

Which was apparently a self-heating kitchen where the oven could fry, bake, boil and cut all your food. The ‘bedroom’ consisted of a blanket draped over two chairs with the throw pillows from the couch thrown in to maximize comfort. Lastly, you had taken to using the plastic chairs and table as your main ‘dining table’. (“Haitham we can’t be married if we don’t eat together at the same table everyday!”)

(Haitham had helped you spell all the signs.)

Walking into your shared ‘home’, Alhaitham pulled out a chair and silently sat down, leaving the stuffed bear that was meant to be his ‘work bag’ by a leg of the small plastic table. Though, his eyes never left the words in the book were trailing over.

“I’m home.” 

You excitedly scurried over to the ‘dining table’, in your hands held a plate of freshly cut zaytun peaches and apples. (With the help of Granny, you acquired real food for your play dinner.)

Making sure the table was clear of leftover colour pencils and paper, you gingerly placed the plate down in front of your distracted ‘husband’ before moving to sit down across from him. 

Alhaitham reaches forth to grab a slice of the fruit, eyes still focused on his book all before he felt a sharp sting on his fingers. His eyes connected with yours as he saw your pointed gaze, “Haitham,” you whine, “How could you try to touch the food without washing your hands?” 

About to make a retort about how he was already very clean, you continued your pouting.

”And what husband keeps getting distracted by his books? His partner will definitely be very lonely!” With a puff of your cheeks you turn away from him, he was so not being a good husband like in the books!

Alhaitham froze. You were right. He promised to be a good play husband so that you would stop giving that book your undivided attention, and focus solely on him. 

Now that he’s grown complacent, with how much you’ve played this game, will you get mad and make him play the family dog? 

No. He can’t have that! (He likes playing the part of your husband the most. You call him ‘honey’ and ‘sweetie’ and it makes him warm inside.)

”I-I’m sorry, dear. I will make it up to you.” 

(“Granny, granny! What kind of names do married people call each other?”

The old woman paused in her steps, holding the lid of the pot of curry in midair. Letting out a chuckle at the glittering eyes facing her. “Hmm, well my children, aren’t you a little young to be married?” Placing the lid down and giving her curry a stir, she pondered over your question a little.

Clutching Alhaitham’s small hand in your own little ones, you raised it towards Granny.

”Nope! We’re already holding hands, so we’re all ready and set to be married, you see!” You let a huge smile grace your adorable face as you gently tugged Alhaitham towards you. 

”Aren’t you both simply adorable! Come here, I’ll teach you how to spell some sweet nicknames for married couples!” Granny definitely had some sweet nicknames in mind for her just as, if not sweeter darlings.)

On the makeshift kitchen, hung a small list of cute pet names for each other. (Some were ‘accidentally’ written twice by a certain silver haired boy so that you would repeat them more often.)

Ah. But there your dearest Haitham goes yet again, speaking words that you both hadn’t learnt on the list.

“Ah? You’ll make… it up to me? Haitham! I don’t like liars!” 

“No! It means I’ll do something nice and extra special for you so that you won’t be mad at me.” He let out a puff of annoyance as he crossed his arms.

”Really?! That sounds so nice! What are you gonna do for me?” You placed your plastic ladle on the kitchen ‘counter’, ensuring that it didn’t fall before hurrying over to his side to receive your ‘extra special’ gift.

Alhaitham thought for a small moment. He could give you a larger portion of his Padisarah Pudding today. Though, that might not work out. You were prone to feeding him even larger bites of your own pudding, citing that whenever Alhaitham leaned in towards your spoon, he looked ‘cute’.

He could read more of your storybooks with you? Though, you usually get a little huffy when he didn’t understand why the prince would trek through such dangerous trails to kiss a princess that’s been asleep for hundred of years.

Oh. That struck a chord in his brain. He knows what to do now.

Alhaitham got on one knee before you, his little legs stumbling a little as he tried to keep his balance. He fixed his hair, and straightened out his clothing as you looked on with a curious, bright gaze.

You were basically bouncing in place. You recognized the position he was getting in! It was the pose many princes were described to be in when meeting the princess! Ahhhh! (Though you would expect your prince to be a little taller. And wielding a powerful sword as he arrives on a white stallion. But Haitham will do for now.)

Gingerly, Alhaitham grabbed hand, tenderly bringing your soft, chubby hand towards his face. Placing his lips on your knuckles, he produced a soft chu!

His chubby cheeks brightened at what he had just done. (But it’s worth it. For you.)

You on the other hand, were speechless. You thought you’d be accepting the kiss with calm graciousness and elegance, but for some reason, your heart was absolutely soaring.

Weird. 

You’ve learned that princesses don’t only take, they also give. And give you will.

You grinned at the kneeling boy, retracting your hand and bending downwards towards his forehead. Clasping his squishy cheeks in your arms, you placed a soft peck on his forehead.

”This is your thank you in return my prince!” You released his face. “You are hereby forgiven and can have another chance of being a good husband!”

Yep. If Alhaitham wasn’t already red before, he definitely was now.

(Granny was watching all this unfold whilst sipping tea. You’d make a wonderful future in-law, if she could say so herself.)

(She hoped that you will continue to stay with that stoic grandchild of hers. The reactions you get out of him were absolutely precious.)

——

log #2

age 16

Granny’s library was a haven. Within the confinements of this small room, was the sanctuary of two friends who basked in presence of each other. A place to escape their responsibilities, a place to be simply and unapologetically be themselves.

Their special spot, that has subconsciously rooted itself into their hearts and never to be forgotten. From the tall shelves holding collections of academic journals, dictionaries and encyclopedias to the small exchanges between the two who have made this area their own.

In a quaint corner of the room, there sat an old, rustic piano. Once belonging to Alhaitham’s father, it was constantly played by to serenade the object of his affection, surrounding her form with a sweet melody he had created just for her ears to hear.

Unfortunately, it has been more than a decade since then. The piano had long lost its shine, covered in dust with its strings deteriorated from years of neglect. Granny did not have the heart to get rid of it, giving  Alhaitham free will to do what he wished with it. Though, he did not care much for it.

Until today.

Watching your door from his window, Alhaitham let a smile unknowingly crawl onto his face as he strode over to the door, hand clasping around the doorknob and turning before pulling it open. 

Your fist froze mid-air, you pouted at the male.

”How did you know I was coming?!”

Now, sat upon the dusty piano stool, you rubbed at your nose, trying to clear away the particles that had caused the red, irritable itch to rise from it.

”We should have cleaned it first.” Alhaitham sat next to you, fingers trailing over the keys of the old piano as he watched you struggle with the presence of the very dust. “I’ll go get you my handker-“

”No! Stay! I’m too excited to wait any longer!”

You had always seen the old piano stashed away in the corner of your favourite room. It definitely intrigued you, leading to you dragging Haitham over to have a better look at it. You needed his approval, it belonged to his family after-all. (And his discerning eye for safety in case you were going to accidentally break something.)

Sat upon the piano’s music stand, was an old, worn journal. Embossed on the leather cover was a small, silver heart. Reminiscent of Alhaitham’s silver hair. You gingerly picked it up, gently flipping through the pages as Alhaitham watched over your shoulder. 

“Haitham…! This is… This is your parents’ sheet music!”

“I see.” Alhaitham, having grown up entirely under his grandmother’s care, did not exactly feel any emotions pertaining to his parents. He simply did not grow any attachment to them, since he was far too young when they passed. So seeing the remnants of their existence did not send him into an emotional spiral, just left him feeling neutral. 

You, on the other hand, mistook his nonchalance for melancholy. You patted his shoulder, grinning.

”I’ll play it for you! Just… Give me a few weeks! And, um, lend me this book? Please?”

How could he ever say no to those eyes you gave him? Granny sure would not mind either.

So here you sat on the piano stool now, having practiced for a mere four days. You had limited knowledge in music, having been pressured to learn some basic piano by your father when you were far younger.

Unfortunately, you never progressed past the basics, your father being unimpressed with your sheer mediocrity despite having you to practice for hours on end. He ended the piano lessons soon after. 

Well, at least you could use your mediocre skill to help make Haitham’s day a little brighter. However, another problem soon arose.

You have only ever played in front of your father and piano teacher. Now, under Haitham’s soft gaze, you felt shy.

“You’re making me nervous, Haitham!” Your eyes were shaky as you faced the piano, dust having long been cleaned up despite your protests that Alhaitham didn’t need to. (His handkerchief was now in your pocket.)

”How did you even play in front of your teacher and father?”

”I don’t know! I just did, okay?”

Alhaitham thought for a moment, before giving you a suggestion. “Close your eyes then.”

”Eh?” 

“If you close your eyes, it’s as if I wasn’t here.” He continues, gaze now focused on the piano. “Since you won’t see me looking at you.”

”I only practiced for a while though…! I don’t think I’m good enough to be-“

”I believe in you.”

You went silent. Alhaitham’s praise and affirmations always left you shy.

“Okay… But could you also turn the other way? I feel like I could still feel your gaze since we’re sitting together.” 

Alhaitham huffed, “Fine. I don’t need my eyes to hear you play anyway.” And so he turned.

“You know, in my books situations like this usually ended up with the two main characters kissing!” It was an offhand joke to help you loosen up and calm down a little more before you played.

Alhaitham simply looked unimpressed. You giggled and cupped his face, before pressing your fingers to his forehead to smooth out his furrowed brows. 

“You’ll get wrinkles, you grumpy old man.”

As you began, Alhaitham had already quietly shifted his body to face you once again. He wouldn’t give up a chance to stare at you with no risk of getting caught, after-all.

He was simply entranced by you. How your hands glided over the keys, how your brows furrowed in concentration, how your hair shone in the light of the setting sun, how beautiful you looked in this moment. He felt something stir within his chest, a soothing comfort paired with a tinge of worry. 

What was this? He doesn’t know.

Though, he wouldn’t mind being frozen in time right now. Alas, the sweet, romantic melody filling the air soon came to its final verse.

“I don’t think I did too bad!” A proud look of satisfaction crossing your features as you faced him, expecting his back to be turned to you.

You had disregarded the existence of close proximity.

An accidental brushing of lips between the two friends sitting by the piano, three seconds of contact and a multitude of mushy emotions springing forth within their longing hearts. Is this what all those characters felt in your books?

Hastily, you both pulled away from each other as your hands came up to clasp themselves over your mouth.  You could feel the heat emanating from your face through your palms, eyes wide and shock filling your eyes as you tried to comprehend the situation. 

What just happened? You stupid, stupid fool! Why did you not watch where you were turning? That romance book comment was meant as a joke! Oh, what cruel archon is forcing you to play it out with your one and only dearest friend?! You shouldn’t have sat so close to him in the first place!

But… You kind of liked it.

But what if he didn’t like that? What if he thinks less of you now? 

Just because of one kiss?

Alhaitham was faring no better.

His eyes had glossed over, mouth slightly agape in genuine shock and surprise as his gaze was stuck on you. Red tipped his ears as he tried desperately to find reason and use his prided logic to regain his senses. He could not.

Overloaded by the intimate feeling of brought about from the kiss you shared. For the first time, Alhaitham had completely blanked out. His fingers gingerly placed themselves on his lips, he could feel the phantom texture of your kiss lingering on them. 

He wanted more. 

You were both no stranger to physical contact, considering your clingy self. Hands grazing each other as you walked next to each other, heads resting on shoulders when either of you get tired, and even that one time Alhaitham had kissed the back of your hand when you were both younger to act as your prince. (Because “Princes are gentlemen who greet princesses like that!”)

Yet, this was so similar, yet so entirely different to the feelings you both felt when it came to your casual, frequent acts of intimacy. 

You both sat in awkward silence for a full minute.

You had imagined your first kiss to be far more romantic, on a starlit night as you gazed into your faceless lover’s eyes, hands holding their face in your hands as they grasped your hips, pulling you closer to their form. They would’ve whispered sweet nothings into your ear, leaving sweet kisses starting from your forehead, down to your nose and both cheeks before their eyes would settle on your lips.

They would whisper another soft “I love you…” into your skin, before they would lean in and finally hav-

You were broken away from your thoughts when Alhaitham’s face was once again in close proximity with yours. Hand gently gripping your wrist and pulling you closer to him, “Can we… Do that again?”

The sheer desperation and raw want in his eyes caused you to fluster, and left you speechless. You could only close your eyes as your lips were once again captured by his, melting into the kiss.

Thus began the beginnings of a your crush on your dearest friend.

——

log #3

age 17

You would describe yourself as a simple person. You were okay with taking things slowly, simply going with the flow.

You were okay with the thought of living a simple life within Sumeru city, in a neat little apartment close to your workplace, where you work a regular 9 to 5, before buying groceries from the nearby market and cooking dinner at home 6 times a week and buying takeout as a treat. 

You were okay with delegating weekends to be the cleaning days. The days specifically for laundry, dishwashing and general housekeeping. 

You were okay with it. It’s not like you hated the thought of it or anything. If nothing else, you’d even say you would love to have that kind of life, especially if there was a romantic partner in the picture.

“You know, I don’t really know what I really even want to do in the future.” You smile, propping yourself up on your elbows as you lifted your eyes, averting from the boring textbook in front of you. 

“Planning for your future already? How thoughtful of you.” The dry response from Alhaitham came quietly, attesting to your environment. In a quiet corner of the Akademiya’s library you both sat, Alhaitham having buried his nose in The Law of Elemental Reactions, by his side sat a stack of just as daunting book titles, your eyes quickly scanning the ones he’s picked out.

‘Academic Infringements of Rights, Case Studies of Anthropological Sites, Cultivation of-‘

Alhaitham was smart, and that is a given fact. Though even you get tuckered out from trying to absorb the entirety of one of those books, let alone the towering stack Alhaitham had picked out.

Noticing your gaze, he responded. “These are to simply pass the time as I wait for you.” 

“W-What? You don’t have to wait for me,” Your voice lowered to a whisper as you caught the glare of a librarian burning into the back of your head. “I don’t think I’ll be done anytime soon…”

You, as a responsible student of the Haravatat Darshan, had completely lost your translation essay.

You dug through your haversack over and over, stress rearing its ugly head as you felt your heart sink to the bottom of your chest. 

“No… No, this can’t be…” You were devastated. Absolutely downcast. You threw your bag to the floor as you rummaged through, anxiety-induced tears quietly gathering at the corner of your eyes.

You spent a lot of time on that paper. Within your lecture, each student had been assigned a new foreign language to translate a script of text into. It was worth at least a third of your grade for this semester.  And you were almost 100% sure you had filed it away safely into the confines of your bag.

You were anxious, starting to hyperventilate. Your breaths quickened as your heartbeat sped up. “Hai-Haitham, hah…” You fell onto your knees. Your head was pounding.

Why, oh why? Oh Greater Lord Rukkhadevata, you will pray everyday to her if it means finding this essay. If it means that you won’t fail, if it means you won’t disappoint yourself, if it means you won’t disappoint Father, if it means you won’t be seen as incompetent by Al-

“I found it.” Handing you your essay, he helped you up to your feet, gently grabbing your forearms and guiding you up as your eyes brightened up, face drooping in exuberant relief as you grabbed onto Alhaitham for support. 

”You did?! Where was it?!” Your relief was, however, soon betrayed as your eyes scanned the text.

This wasn’t your paper.

”Alhaitham… This… It’s due tomorrow, Haitham, you can’t-“

”No. This is yours. Take. It.” Alhaitham took your hands to grip around the essay, his own hands clasping over your own. “I’m more than exemplary when it comes to grades, I’m sure you’ll do well.” 

“Haitham…” Your eyes glazed over with tears as you threw your hands around him. Crying into his chest as you both stood in his bedroom, his arms wrapped tight around you as his hand stroked your back soothingly. 

“Thank you so much. Thank you. I love you. I love you so much Haitham.” Your eyes begin to water even more as you looked into those softened teal-orange ones.

“But you know that I would never accept this.” Your hands reach to cup his face, bringing him down to your eye-level. “Haitham,” You sigh. “You are very smart.”

”That means nothing to me.”

You chuckle. “For such a smart man, I wouldn’t think that you would give up your very own work for me.” Your thumbs smooth over the skin under his eyes. He could only stay silent as he relishes in your touch. Another whispered ‘thank you’ before you place a gratitude-filled peck upon his cheek.

His heart skips a beat.(He hopes you didn’t feel that.)

“I’ll redo it myself, Haitham.”

“Then, do allow me to help.”

(He followed you to the library.)

Thus, an all-nighter was pulled. 

(You treated Haitham to a drink of his choice, to the point of even stealing his wallet away when he attempted to sneakily pay for the both of you.) 

You were always thankful for the good health you were blessed with. Despite not being the most physically fit scholar, you would argue that you were one of the healthiest.

‘Healthy’ in a sense that you barely ever got sick.

Alhaitham on the other hand, was a whole different story. Growing up, your poor Haitham always had had a weak body constitution, easily catching illnesses and catching common colds left right and center despite his sanitary precautions. 

You would be glum on the days where he was declared bedridden and too ill to leave the house by Granny, often sending over pots of homemade congee and herbal broths stemming from Liyuen recipes over in hopes of helping him recover sooner. 

(Granny refused to let you into the house. “What if you caught Haitham’s nasty cold?!”)

“The ‘Get-well-soon’ bouquet was unnecessary. Spending mora on such unneeded expenses is only going to put a bigger hole in your wallet.” Pulling your cheeks as he grumbled on and on about your waste of precious expenses on him, that you could’ve saved up money for something you would prefer, that he should’ve been the one to buy-

What was that last sentence? You didn’t catch that under all the pain.

“Haithammmmm, thawt hurtssss!” You whine as you let him continuously pinch and pull at your face. It didn’t actually hurt of course, you were just trying to lighten up your grumpy friend. “And of cworse you nweed flowers, Haithwam!” Placing your hands over the ones settled on your face, you held them in place. “Plus, I read once that men only receive flowers for the first time when it’s their funeral! Totally blasphemous if you ask me, so don’t worry Haitham! I’ve prevented that from happening!”

Why were you so goddamn cute? With a face as stoic as ever, but ears burning red at the tips, Alhaitham just continued his abuse on your squishy face.

”Nwoooooo, stop! I won’t hwave mwy cheeks anymworeeeee!”

However, in this situation, you have no one to blame other than yourself. Staying late after school within the Akademiya’s library to catch up with lectures you totally didn’t understand with Alhaitham, you had both just finished a progressive study session when the sky soon darkened.

Uh oh. Silly little you forgot your umbrella. Again. Good going, champ.

“You should’ve checked the weather forecast.” Alhaitham pulled out a sleek, dark green umbrella. It was plain, with no designs on it to set it apart from other umbrellas if he ever lost it. 

(Not that he will, but you wholeheartedly believe that even your ever responsible Haitham will mess up one day!) 

It greatly contrasted the pastel one you owned, with its cute designs and bright colours, you could easily identify it even when it has been stolen! 

(Not that that would matter now, considering you had gone and left it at home.)

”So….” You cleared your throat, fixing your green beret and dusting off your clothes as you faced Alhaitham with glittering eyes. “Remember that time you made me cry when we were younger?”

”Guilt-tripping, huh? What exactly rubbed you the wrong way today?” A smirk on his face as he looked down upon you. 

“Oh? Nothing much, just that my prince in shining Akademiya robes has yet to save me from this dreadful rain! Oh, when will a savior wielding a mighty umbrella come to my aid!” Your hand flew to your forehead for dramatic effect, as you slumped against a pillar.

”And I’ll give you a massage.”

”Deal.”

The walk back was eventful, full of chatter and laughter on your end. You would point out the highlights of your day, the fight to stay awake in class, what you had for lunch-

Despite you pointing out all little details you noticed throughout your day, you failed to notice wet shoulder Alhaitham was getting. He leaned the umbrella closer towards you, ensuring that you were dry, protecting you from the rain. He didn’t care that he was getting wet, as long as you were comfortable.

(How didn’t you notice that sooner?)

A sneeze caused Alhaitham to bolt from his lying position on the bed. Dressed down in his shirt and boxers, he was in absolute hell.  His body was cold when out of the duvet, but when he huddled under it, he was feeling far. Too. Hot.

He drank another sip of water. Granny wouldn’t be able to be back until evening. He had to get through this. He could. But why does everything ache? Why does your hand soothe him so much when you place it against his forehead?

”Haitham… I’m so sorry…! I should’ve noticed your robes were getting wet-!” You were feeling so, so guilty. 

“No… It’s not, ack, your fault.” Alhaitham sniffled out. Oh, how he wishes Granny hadn’t called you over to take care of him. He looks far from the capable, stoic version of his usual self.

Archons, this was embarrassing.

”Wait- Do you- do you want me to leave? You are absolutely burning up, please go to sleep, Haitham…!” Your whisper-yelled, removing your hand from his forehead. “I’ll go make you some of my congee, you haven’t eaten today.”

”You… You’re leaving?”

”Hm? To make you some food, Haitham.” You continued to whisper, moving off the seat to begin your trek to the kitchen.

”…don’t go… Stay…” His hand reached out from under the sheets, grasping the air for you.

Oh, archons. Alhaitham was so cute when he was sick.

You pet his hair, holding his hand and soothing him to close his eyes.

”Hehe, it’ll only be for a little while, Haitham.”

”You’ll… Come back?” His usually deep voice was now so soft sounding, so gentle. Like he would break if you even prodded him too much.

”Of course,” You cooed. “I’ll be back real soon.”

Alhaitham awoke to the smell of ginseng. You sat at his bedside, a serving tray placed upon his desk as you held a serving bowl in your hands. 

“Hello, Haitham” You murmured gently. “I’m back, as promised. Can you eat?”

Yes. He could eat. He was absolutely starving, but, he was also feeling weak. Feeling weak means he had lost his inhibitions temporarily, the logic holding back his heart’s desire has been unlocked.

His eyes glanced towards you, donning Granny’s pink apron as you held a bowl out towards him.

”…Feed me.” What in Teyvat was wrong with him? What did he just request?! He was almost a grown man- He can feed himself-!

“Ohhhh! You’re so demanding and needy when you’re sick! Of course, Haitham!”

He was mentally fighting himself the first time the spoon gently prodded at his lips, eyes averting themselves quickly to avoid your sweet gaze as he opened his mouth, taking the first bite. Each spoonful was fed to him with so much love and care. Your cooing after he successfully finished the bowl had him feeling warm and mushy inside. Alhaitham adjusted himself against the pillow, breaths getting less heavy as he felt more energy return to him.

Pressing the back of your palm against his forehead as you leaned in closer, you attempted to gauge his current body temperature.

Archons. You were so incredibly close to him. Please stay right here. Stay close to him. Keep your hand on him. Keep watching him. Only him.

”Oh, it’s definitely went down now! Congrats, Alhaitham, you’re getting better!” You attempted to pull away, to create more distance between you and your crush. 

He pulled you onto the bed with him. Encircling you in his arms, his grip tightened.

”…Stay.” 

Oh my archons. If this was how he usually acted when sick, you never want him to get better.

You sit up, still having his arms wrapped around your waist. You grab his face, slightly pinching the red cheeks. (Was this red from his fever or was he just blushing? He won’t ever let you know.)

”Haitham, I’ll get sick too, you know.”

”Then… You can spend more time with me here…”

Oh. Oh. So cute. Your heart really was gonna burst.

”Are you sleepy, Haitham?”

”Mmm…” His grip around you loosened a little.

”Then go to sleep. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

”…Promise?”

”Promise!” You interlaced your fingers with his. “I’ll keep holding your hand like this to let you ensure that I’m here.”

(Alhaitham woke up with you huddled into his chest. The lights were off and you had a blanket draped over you.)

(Granny definitely saw the both of you.)

——

log #4

age 21

Operation: Get Alhaitham to forgive you for being a horrible person!

Honestly, the guilt has been eating at you since you’ve been ‘forgiven’ by him. On what basis did you even deserve this? 

None. You were simply a terrible person throughout, running from your issues and using the ones the cared about you most.

At least you were self-aware.

(As if that was enough for someone to forgive you for all the bad you’ve done.)

You sighed, poking at your Aaru mixed rice as you thought about ideas.

Monetary gifts of high value? No, his salary is way higher than yours, and he could definitely afford whatever he wants at any given moment.

Apologetic flowers? Sure, but he’s already been giving you bouquet after bouquet of flowers every week. 

(Strangely, these bouquets have an unusual assortment of flowers within them. Mixed with sweet flowers, cecilias, padisarahs and dandelions and even more. It was definitely a strange assortment.

Upon questioning the strange arrangement, Alhaitham’s ears were bright red as he tried to keep a straight face. 

“I… Ahem. I grew them.” He coughed out, averting his gaze towards the now stupendously intriguing sentence he had been rereading ever since you walked into fray.

”…how did you grow so many all at once…? Sumeru’s climate is suitable for most species of flowers- but regional specific ones like these dandelions are-

He coughs yet again, or it sounded more like he desperately trying to clear his throat?

His brilliant mind could come up with a million different excuses. Oh, he picked them while on a short trip to the forest. A florist was having a clearance sale on their flowers. Kaveh had a few spare flowers leftover from his next project-

He could go on and on, but when it’s you, he blanks out. Plus, being honest with you was one of the key factors to being a good future partner, no matter the shame that came along with it.

“My- Vision. The flowers popped up whenever I thought of you.” His hand latched over his mouth as he felt his face grow hot. “I… Thought it was only appropriate for me to gift them to the one who occupies my mind.”

Now you were the one blushing, a moment of vulnerability of Alhaitham’s had turned into yours. How does he be so smooth with his words?

“Oh… That’s… That’s really cute… Thank you.”)

There was no way you could match up to that level of thoughtfulness behind your own bouquets. 

Should you offer him your bod- No. You slap your own cheeks, startling the silver-haired man sitting before you as you attempted to come back to your senses.

“Are you okay? I would advise you against hitting your own face. I am not comfortable with seeing you hurt.”

His reaction was immediate, hand reaching forth to stroke your red cheeks, his eyebrows furrowed in worry as his gaze of concern pierced directly into your heart. 

Oh, Archons save you.

Was it possible for you to get so red you’ll explode? Possibly. Alhaitham was so handsome that it was hard to even function properly with those eyes staring directly at you.

You immediately darted your eyes away, taking great interest in your food as your eyes flitted towards his own, half-eaten sandwich.

Was that all he was having today? For such a large man, he sure is holding back today. Usually, you’d see him eating much larger portions of protein to supplement the sheer muscle mass he possessed.

Your eyes looked between his food and your own.

An idea. An idea that required a great deal of your nonexistent confidence. 

“Um- Alhaitham…?”

”Hmm?” He replied, eyes still concentrated on your red cheeks as his fingers grazed your soft skin, attempting to soothe the irritated red patches. 

“Would you um-, like some of my food?” The last few words got stuck in your throat, barely audible to the man had he not have been listening so intently to you.

His eyes widened in surprise, heart momentarily skipping a beat. Are you kidding him? Of course, yes! Yes! He would love to eat some of your food, especially if-

“No, my food is perfectly adequate for my dietary needs.” 

Oh. Mission failed. Better luck next time? Your shoulders visibly slumped at your failure of a plan, a frown slowly etching onto your face as you fought to show a smile.

Ah. You should’ve known.

- -

Internally, Alhaitham was tearing at locks of his hair in frustration. He had said that out of habit, out of pure instinct. 

Many a times had some of his colleagues invited him out for a small lunch gathering, despite his slightly frustrated rejections, they managed to slip him into their group outings once or twice. 

And more often than not, female and male colleagues alike would notice how attractive the stoic scribe was. Seeing him from afar was not thing, but sitting up close to him? A whole different standard of beauty was met.

From the tight shirt obscured by his coat hiding the ripples of muscle underneath, his attractive facial structure and his gorgeously intense eyes all paired off with his apathetic nature shrouded him in mystery.

And anyone would have to be the world’s most deceitful, blind or a decent mixture of both to say that was not attractive in the least.

However, upon attempting to grow closer to the scribe, he would shut himself off, giving curt, blunt answers to keep a respectable distance between the individual attempting to curry his favour. Be it man or woman, Alhaitham was unfazed to their less than savory methods of subtle seduction, telling them to knock it off at point blank or physically removing himself from the situation when they grated too much on his thinning patience.

But you. 

You were different. You weren’t a stranger. You weren’t annoying to him in the slightest. Sure, your attempts at trying to flirt with him can only be described as plain awkward, but you certainly had your charm. You were no longer trying to avoid him.

His eyes followed you, internally devastated at himself for denying your offering.

(You could’ve been feeding him right this moment if he hadn’t had that stupid, stupid habit ingrained into him.)

He needs to fix this. Now.

He coughs, marking the page swiftly and tucking the book away as his arms laid on the table. 

“I suppose- A small bite wouldn’t hurt.”

Your body straightened in an instance, happily scooping a hearty serving as you moved to pass the spoon into the scholar’s hand. To your surprise, he grabbed at your arm, maneuvering the utensil to land in his mouth. (With you still holding it?!?)

Wha-What? Did you just- Feed… him?

Alhaitham had soon manually removed your spoon, due to you being, frankly, too stunned to move. That hot blush encompassing your entire face to the tips of your ears had made it obvious to his effects on you.

And Alhaitham was proud of it. No longer did he feel embarrassed having done that, if that flustered you, it was all worth it.

He chewed, swallowing the rather tasty morsel of food in his mouth. 

“Delicious. Though, I suppose you should add more chili flakes next time.”

Getting a taste of your cooking will always be the best treat to him. 

- -

Phase 2! Show something heartfelt to prove your sincerity!

What could possibly be more sincere than making the scribe handmade treats? He seemed to enjoy the bites of your lunch you would give him sometimes, so what harm could possibly come from this?

You stirred and mixed, going by pure instinct and feeling for your little baking escapade. Though, one extra thing you would need to make the perfect pastry would be one simple thing: love.

You had an abundance of it, keeping the ones you adored close to your heart. 

But… Alhaitham- Or, your Haitham was- is different. Your relationship was blurring the lines between close friends and an actual couple, the only barrier being your hesitance, your fear.

You didn’t like getting hurt. And sweet Alhaitham, he had always been patient. Waiting for you, promising you that he would always be right by your side.

You didn’t know if the ‘love’ you felt for him was those akin to the sweet sappy childhood first love, or the sensual satisfaction he could bring you. You knew, knew you were being selfish, making him wait like this. 

But, but, but. Your deepest desire was only to embrace him, allow him to feel all these overflowing feelings from your chest whenever you were around him. Hoping, praying he would help you understand all these unsaid emotions. 

- -

Maybe giving him treats was a mistake. You watched Alhaitham sigh as he lugged a small paper bag of treats onto one of his couches. Grimacing at the sheer amount of assorted treats falling out of the bag.

Hiding the the caneles that you had baked behind you, you peeked your head out from the corner.

”What’s with all the treats?”

Alhaitham held his head, plopping onto his sofa as he slumped into the soft cushions.

“Some of the younger students of the Akademiya gave them to me today.”

Oh. Maybe you shouldn’t have baked today afterall. 

“Are you going to… Y’know- Eat them?”

He pondered your question momentarily. “I suppose it would be rude not to.” He paused, turning to look at you. “Care to join me?”

“Ah- I wouldn’t- I’m kinda… Busy right now?”

Alhaitham scrutinized you, and the way you were nervously shifting around, hands held behind your back.

”What’s wrong?”

”Huh? Uh… Nothing?”

”Something is clearly wrong if you’re being so shifty. Are you holding something?”

”No!” Ah, ah, ah. Lying is bad. “Okay- Fine, yes.”

You timidly scooted over to the couch, presenting your neatly wrapped, cute little pack of baked treats.

“I… Made this for you today…” You shyly stuttered out, before quickly trying to retract your hands.

”But! Since you already have so many- Let me just-“ You sheepishly tried to pull them away, but the ‘feeble’ scholar, with unnaturally fast reflexes, caught your hands, gently tugging the bag away and into his hands.

”I’ll eat them.”

”You don’t have to if you don’t want to-“

He wasn’t listening, already undoing the cute ribbon and taking a rather large bite out of your creation. You sunk down onto the couch beside him, observing him as he chewed and tasted it. 

“So… How is it?”

Alhaitham remained silent, only to continuously eat your baking. He absolutely inhaled your creation, leaving not even a single crumb left, as you looked on, shocked.

”It was wonderful. Thank you.”

- -

Phase 3! Uh… Apologise?

”I’m sooo sorry!” You cried into his shoulder.

Currently, you were sat snugly upon Alhaitham’s lap, his arms cradling your drunken form as you weeped your apologies into his shoulder.

”I-I’m such a bad friend! I hurt you so much!” You sniffled even more, crying as your arms wrapped around the man’s shoulders.

You had both agreed to drink together within the confines of his home. Never did the scribe expect for you to be such a… Lightweight.

One glass in, you words were starting to slur.

Another glass was all it took for you to suddenly climb onto him, straddling him as you stared so sultrily into his eyes before you-

Broke down in tears?

He awkwardly patted at your back. 

You haven’t been so close to him so… willingly before. It felt nice.

”I wanna say sorry… Did I say sorry…? I’m sorry, Haitham!”

”You don’t have to apologise, I’ve already-“ Pause. His eyes snapped towards your clouded ones. “What did you just call me…?”

You smiled, bright, cheerful and full of adoration. “Haitham…?” 

Oh. Oh no. His heart was going to implode on itself. 

“Haithammmmm!! Why are you so red?! You look like- hic! A cute little hic- Harra fruit… hehe!”

You continuously shifted around on his lap, pulling and poking at his face as you giggled and ruffled his hair. “You’re sooooo squishy!” 

“(name). I implore you… Please stop moving around so much…”

”You’re not- Hic! Squishy enough yetttt!” You pinched at his cheeks, leaving a kiss on his forehead as you continued your alcohol-riddled goal of ‘teddyifying’ the scribe, to make him more suitable for cuddles.

Should he hold you down…? If he did, the growing ‘problem’ would become too large to handle.

His hands hesitantly shifted up to hold your hips. This was the lesser of the two evils.

You pouted, hands halting in their movements to press at his face. 

“Oh? Hugs?” You were in gleeful bliss.

”Hugs!” You unceremoniously wrapped your arms around the man, holding him close, holding him tight. Directly pressing his face into your chest due to your positioning. 

You were going to be the death of him.

Operation: Success?

——

log #-

age ???

“Hm…”

You hummed, tracing your fingers over taut skin of your boyfriend’s chest, whilst your lips were kept busy, kissing over the corners of his mouth. Sitting in his lap, you were over the moon at being given the chance to be able to feel him up. 

On the morning of the weekend, you had bounded over to the lax man that was sitting upright in his bed, book in his hands and earpieces, surprisingly, not slotted into his ears. It was a rarity that his roommate, Kaveh would be out of the house. As such, Alhaitham could enjoy a few hours of peace and quiet, listening only to the sounds of your tittering around his home, and calling out his name oh so sweetly as you call him over to the kitchen to sample the lunch you were making as you fed him with your chopsticks or spoon fed him some soup.

(“So is it any good?”

“Anything you make is good, dear. Delicious as always.”

You puffed out your cheeks in annoyance. “Haitham! I won’t ever improve my cooking if all you do is compliment me!”

“It is actually delicious, my de-“

A pout coupled with narrowed eyes. Another scoop poured into the small serving dish held out towards him.

He takes another taste. 

“A little more salt would suffice, darling.”)

Alhaitham is adamant on making you stay over as often as he can to spend more time with you. On nights, he would ensure that he was distracting you enough with tempting offers of new light novels that had just been released, ‘pretending’ to fall asleep with his arms wound tightly around you, ‘startling’ awake when you would even breathe a little too hard, to playing dirty and tiring you to exhaustion after an intense tumbling in bed. 

(He wonders just why you haven’t decided to just move in with him yet.)

You had crawled onto his lap, maybe a bit too excitedly, not noticing that you were brushing over certain, well, more sensitive areas. Comfortably seated upon one of his strong, rather large thigh, your intentions started off rather innocent.

Twirling locks of his hair between your fingers, squishing his face in your hands, leaving kisses trailing from his forehead, to the tip of the nose, to his left cheek, to behind his ear, down to the column of his neck. You were mouthing at his throat, playful and teasing as you kissed and sucked on the exposed skin.

”(name)…” A hand reaches up to hold the back of your head in place, preventing you from going further. “Please,” A sharp intake of air as he felt you leave another kiss. “Stop…” He sounded out in slightly breathy pants, the tips of his ears blushing a bright red as the other hand that had been lazily placed on your hip tightened slightly. 

You pouted. “Sorry, Haitham…” Cooing, you stroked his cheek. “You just looked so cute.” You laid your head against his chest, eyes glittering as you stared into his eyes.

You’ve got him entranced, and you knew it. The blush apparent on his face, all the way to the tip of his ears and grimace of fake annoyance on his face confirmed it. 

Alhaitham sighs, not being able to resist the look in your eye. He loosened his hold on you, slumping back against the pillow, body going slack. All whilst bringing you down with him.

Now longer on his lap, you were laying directly on top of him. You both let yourselves revel in the moment, physically close and hearts full of adoration and love.

Until Alhaitham felt a hand slide under his shirt, prodding at his chiselled abdomen. Ah. You were starting again.

Your hands felt like they were absolutely everywhere. Squeezing his biceps, trailing over his triceps, down to his hips. Your mouth wasn’t doing innocent either, now knowing that his upper body was off limits, you were entertaining yourself using his pectorals. Biting, and leaving marks littered throughout his built chest. 

He felt your hand reach up to squeeze one of his pecs, letting out a slight groan at your touch. You continued to squeeze, a huff of exasperation leaving you. Alhaitham met your eyes, arm now wrapped around your waist, holding you closer to him as he tilted his head in question.

Your brows furrowed. “It’s just,” Hand still on his pec, you squeeze again. “Why do your boobs feel bigger than mine?” 

You weren’t looking at him anymore, but you could definitely feel him rolling his eyes at you. 

“Dearest, I do not have breasts.”

”Honey, if these aren’t your manboobs,” Another squeeze. “I don’t know what they are.” 

He lets out a sigh in defeat. You certainly made the weirdest comments at inappropriate times. You giggle at his baffled self, head now cuddling itself between his pecs. 

“I still love them very much, Haitham.”

”More than you love me?”

”Hmm… Depends on the day then. These,” You nuzzle closer into his chest. “These do not leave their books in piles on the floor and cause me to trip.” 

Alhaitham brings his arm up to your nape, resting itself over it as the other stays over your waist, just above your posterior. He presses a kiss against your forehead.

”I’ve already apologised, dear.”

”Apologies don’t fix the bruise on my knee.”

Ah, whatever will he do with you. One moment you were kissing all over his body, giving him the love he needs from you, the next you were pouting about his habit of leaving books scattered throughout his home. 

You crawl up slightly, wiggling to loosen his hold on you so that you were face to face with him. “How about this, Haitham.” Your hands cup his face. “You make dinner for us and Kaveh tonight,” A kiss to his jaw. “And I’ll forgive you.”

”And you’ll stay the night?” The hopefulness in his voice was so cute.

”Mmhm.” 

You leaned forwards for another kiss, this time pressing your lips directly against his as he reciprocated in kind.

——

final log

2:33 am

In your post-coital bliss, you could hardly move. You were laying on your back, bites littering your skin as you heaved from exhaustion. Your back was sore, your legs felt heavy and the various marks left on you were beginning to sting as the high of pleasure wore off.

You whined out in your hoarse voice, doing your best to sit up against the propped up pillow in search of your husband. 

Just where was he? 

You could swear you felt him supporting your limp body after you had nearly passed out from the ecstasy of pleasure, his hands gripping your hips as his face buried itself into the crook of your neck. His hips were stilled, letting out a groan as he pushed himself against you, trying to get impossibly closer to you as he-

Ugh, you were sore just thinking about it. It wasn’t long before you heard the quiet click of the door, your husband, in his shirtless glory, back decorated with scratches and little marks throughout his neck and chest, while holding a glass of water and a pain relief pill. He knew you needed it.

As you hungrily drank down the glass of water, with Alhaitham supporting your back and holding the glass to your lips for you, he observed your tired form.

“Do you need a shower?”

You shook your head, too fatigued to currently respond with your hoarse voice. He stroked your head, leaving and returning swiftly with a small bowl of warm water and a soft cloth.

He pulled you closer to him, holding your nude form in his lap as he began with your face, and down to your neck, kissing at every mark and bruise he had left during your session. 

His breath hitched in his throat, eyes travelling your bruised body as he gently wiped you down, ridding you of the sweat and fluids as your body leaned against him. He gently pushed you back, giving you a sweet kiss to your forehead, to your nose and finally, to your oh so cute, kissable lips. 

Pressing his mouth against yours, you tried your best to reciprocate this sudden deep kiss of his. You pulled back, desperate for air as a string of saliva connected your once molding mouths.

A moment passes by as you both stare into each other’s eyes. Unable to resist the lovesick look in your eyes, Alhaitham leaned down to nip at the column of your throat.

“Noooooo…! Ngh, Haitham- Ah! I’m too sore…!”

”Please, darling. Just one more.” A kiss against your cheek. “You look too irresistible right now.”

7:04am

”Stayyyyyy- Don’t leave me, Haitham…” 

“Let go. I have to.”

”Noooooooo…! If you love me you’ll stay!”

Alhaitham sighs, “I already skipped my morning workout for you, dear.” He presses a kiss to your forehead as his hands glide across your naked back. So soft, so warm. How could he ever leave the comforts of his bed and embrace of his partner?

Unfortunately, work doesn’t solve itself. (Much to his dismay.) He unlatches himself from you as your hands clawed for the now empty space. He outplayed you.

You pout as you watch your handsome husband search for his work clothes, begrudgingly getting up as well. 

At least you can enjoy the view of your husband getting into the shower.

8:12am

“Haitham, you’re going to stain your books.” 

“‘’M not, I’m careful.” He retorts with a mumble as he, now carefully places down his mug of bitter coffee and shutting the book after marking the page.

(He knew you were right.)

He takes a bite of the jam-covered toast, nodding his head in appreciation and feeling his heart warm as you set down a plate of sliced zaytun peaches, assembled in a heart shape with an egg done over easy in the middle.

”Thank you, dearest.” 

“All for you, honey!” You grin, leaning down and pecking his temple.

His chair scoots ever closer to yours when you settle down with your own plate. 

8:31am

Alhaitham hums in content as he feels you place another kiss on his face. His back was hunched, face leaned down to your level as you peppered kiss after kiss on him. 

From his hair, to his forehead, his eyes, to his nose, both cheeks-

“You missed a spot.” 

“Hmm~? I think you’ve had more than enough now though.” You teased, cupping his face in both your hands as you stared lovingly into equally lovesick teal-orange eyes. 

Alhaitham huffs. Brows furrowing as he narrowed his eyes, his hands finding purchase on your hips and pulling you closer towards him. 

“‘s not enough…” He mumbled, barely above a whisper as his eyes averted away in bashfulness. 

“Haitham, are you pouting?”

”No.” He was now stubbornly trying to turning his head away.

You giggled, before giving in to his demands. Tilting his chin towards you, before peppering his jaw and lips with as many smooches as possible. “Mwah! I’m sorry, mwah, dear! Forgive, mwah, me, okay?”

The red tinted his face, from the tips of his ears to the swell of his cheeks.

 “I will if you kiss me again.”

“You’re gonna be late.”

”I’m never late.”

10:47am

And so, here he was, 1 hour and 47 minutes into work. Stacks upon stacks of paperwork. Another bothersome document to read through. Another signature needed. 

Another boring day to go through, and another 6 hours and 13 minutes before he could finally get off work and go home to you.

What exactly would you be doing now? Did you go back to sleep? He hopes you were getting enough rest. Perhaps you were cleaning the kitchen with the new cleaner he bought? You’ve been complaining about the stains in the kitchen lately. Or, were you within your shared closet, trying out different outfits? You tended to show him both the bad and good ones you’ve pulled together, giggling and asking for his opinion.

Whatever it was you were up to, it just made him miss you a whole lot more.

12:06am

Lunch time. Another period of free time he looks forward to, where he’s able to pull out a sturdy, sleek green lunchbox that was wrapped in a sickly cute cloth to keep it warm.  

He undid the neat little knot at the top, in search of the note you always leave in the lunches you lovingly prepared for him. Alhaitham decides that he definitely won’t make it through the day without your presence.

’Remember to drink more water today!!! I love you Haitham!! More than anything!! And stop frowning, you’ll get wrinkles! I’ll miss you, so come home soon!!’

It was cute. You were cute. The message written was sweet, your name signed at the bottom with various hearts drawn around it. Alhaitham let a smile creep its way onto his face, though he never spoke it, he always replied within his mind.

’I love you too.’

He folded the note and neatly tucked it into his pocket. It was gonna go into his collection. He definitely misses you more now.

5:15pm

”I’m home.” Silence. Alhaitham frowns, setting down his bag by the shoe cabinet as he took off his coat and kicked off his shoes.

The fifteen minutes he took to come home from work was already far too long! How could you not come to see him when all he’s been thinking about all day was you? Alhaitham felt betrayed.

He scoffed, clearing his throat and calling out once again, “I’m home.”

”I’m in the kitchen!” You emerged from the kitchen, not having heard him from the pair of soundproof earpieces lodged in your ear as you placed the pot of curry on the counter.

(A gift from Alhaitham. The earpieces, not the curry.)

“Archons, you won’t die if you aren’t greeted within seconds, Haitham.” You sighed, wrapping your arms around him as you tiptoed to press a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away.

“I just will if you made me wait that long again.” He pulls you into a searing kiss, arms encircling your waist and pulling you ever closer to him. He reluctantly pulls away, choosing to bury his face into your neck. “I missed you.” 

You hummed, stroking his head. “Welcome home, Haitham.”

7:52pm

You waited near the bathroom, ensuring that you heard the sound of the shower starting, before you took your husband’s used clothing from the hamper.

You silently snuck into the laundry room, clothes worn by him today folded into a neat pile that was held right up against your chest. 

Cautiously checking that the showering was still running and hadn’t yet stopped, you released a breath you didn’t know that you were holding. 

Time for your nightly routine.

You placed the pile down by the laundry counter, holding up his shirt, staring lovingly at it before you closed your eyes and deeply inhaled the scent of your beloved partner.

Don’t get yourself wrong, you had always loved how Alhaitham’s scent, it was clean and refreshing, akin to a forest after a gentle rain shower. It was apparent in places his frequented, the couch, pillows, the clothing in his closet. However, it was something about the potency of the scent after they’ve been worn by him that drew you in, that made you sick with love.

You absolutely loved sniffing his used clothing before you washed them. They smelled divine.

You buried your face into his shirt, cuddling yourself into the article of clothing that had been absorbing his sweat the whole day. Unfortunately for you, you forgot to refill the shampoo today.

”Darling? I think we ran out of- What are you doing?”

You let out a squeak of surprise.

8:34pm

You gently rubbed the towel into his head, trying to wring out the wet droplets from his damp hair. Alhaitham sat upon the edge of your shared bed, eyes scanning the words of his book that was held in his lap as you continued your administrations.

All of a sudden, you stopped. Your arms wrapped around his waist from behind, taking this chance to feel up your muscular husband’s well contoured body. You buried your face into his neck, taking in his smell.

”What? Was the shirt not enough?” A tease. You narrowed your eyes.

”I’m just taking this chance to appreciate my beautiful husband~!”

”Sniffing my sweaty shirts and groping my abdominals are a form of strange appreciation then.” You could just hear the smirk in his voice. Oh, he was never going to let you live your recently discovered secret down.

You weren’t a creature of revenge. You never held grudges against others, nor do you wish suffering upon them. Though, just this once, punishment was in order. Punishment for the sleepless nights he gave you, punishment for making your body sore and punishment for teasing you.

”If you needed my used clothing so bad, I could- OW! Did you just- bite me?”

You had chomped down on the side of his neck, not hard enough to actually hurt, but hard enough to leave the light imprint of your teeth on him. 

“Oops! Sorry Haitham, you were just so cute sitting there that you made my cuteness aggression act up!”

10:30pm

You were barely awake, head atop on your husband’s shoulder as you both lay side by side on the bed, blanket lazily draped over your legs as both of your arms were wrapped around one of his. 

You weren’t exactly reading the book he held in his hands, but you were watching his face. 

Despite his lack of expressions, with eyes glued to his book, lips relaxed in a line and reading glasses atop his nose, he was so cute. You were definitely sure your husband was the most adorable when engrossed in his literature. 

And when he would avert his eyes from the words to meet your own gaze? That smile he would give you as he leaned down to kiss your forehead? Perfect. Your husband was arguably, if not, the best in the world. 

(In your opinion, that is. Not that you would choose to marry anyone else. Ever.)

Alas, it was a shame you weren’t able to stay up forever to watch your him. If you could, you would do away with sleep, choosing to spend the extra time you have to simply bask in the wonderful existence that was Alhaitham. 

“Are you feeling sleepy already, dear?”

You let out a tired hum, your hold around his arm loosening as your head fell onto your pillow.

Alhaitham shut his book, marking the page with the bookmark of a dried qingxin* flower.

(A gift you had made especially for him.)

Switching the lamp off, he laid down next to you, turning on his side and bringing you closer to him. A kiss on your forehead.

”I love you.” A confession of love whispered under the darkness that engulfed the room.

”I love you too.” Requited.

[queenof-curses]

Kishibe: Paying the Price

Captain Kishibe is right, you'll never be strong enough to kill the Devil that murdered your family. You need to sign a Contract with a Devil fast, but you don't know any that are willing.

Good thing Captain Kishibe is more than willing to help you out, for a price…

Kishibe x Fem!Reader

wc: 3.5k

send me a tip: Ko-Fi

Minors DNI! Explicit Sex, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Cunnilingus, Office Sex, Teacher-Student relationship, Age-gap, a little dark, & NOT beta read!

--

“Decent work today, thanks to me. You’d be dead if I weren’t here, Kid…”

The older man sighs before taking a swig from his flask.

Whiskey, probably… you thought.

He was right though. If Kishibe weren’t there to check up on you during your mission, that Devil probably would’ve killed you. His next words pull you from your self-reflections,

“If you had train as I taught you, you wouldn’t be in a mess on every fucking mission.” He comments. “You have to take my advice, or you’ll never see your next birthday.”

Captain or not, the old man always seemed to pester you about not having any deals yet with a Devil. Your training up to this point with Kishibe has strictly been physical and strategic, and you were starting to feel the consequences of it all.

You joined Public Safety shortly after your family had been killed by a top Devil, being placed in Tokyo’s Special Division 4, under Captain Kishibe because of your smart and quick thinking. Now though, you wonder if that was a mistake…

You didn’t want to sell a part of yourself to a disgusting Devil, but how do you expect to get any stronger? Maybe the Captain was right after all…

Taking a moment to think it out, you finally decide to take a stance. You have to lose some, to win some- right?

You look up at Kishibe, his eyes slightly hooded and glossy (a state he was always in due to the job + alcohol), waiting for your response.

“I’ll do it.” you firmly decided.

He looks at you confused and you roll your eyes.

“Do what?” He asks.

“I’ll make a contract with a Devil… to get stronger. To kill the one responsible for my family’s murder.” You announce it to him.

You sounded so sure of yourself, a tone that Kishibe realized he hadn’t ever heard from you before. It perked him up a bit from his clouded mind.

He was quite proud, then, seeing you so confident. It was so different from the first day he took you into his division. He knew you were going to be great. But you should know- it wasn’t going to be easy.

“Alright,” he says. “And who do you plan on making a deal with?”

*Silence*

You look at him and think about all the Devils you know that would sign a contract with you… coming up empty. They were all dead!

The old man laughs out loud at that, “You don’t even know any one?!” he asks, incredulous.

“Uhhh… no…” is all you could respond with.

“Well shit Kid,” he pauses to think, scratching the rough stubble on his face. “You’re lucky I like you, I’ve got someone just in mind. But..”

He looks you up and down, eyes slowly raking over your body.

You shuffled under his gaze, adjusting your tight suit. Suddenly, you feel like your tie was choking you. Unable to keep cool under his stare, you feel your face flush red.

“But what?” you hesitantly ask.

“But!” He grins… “you’re gonna have to pay for the contact.”

What, just exactly, is up the Captain’s sleeve?

“H-How?”

“I think you know how.” He moves to leave, calling one last line over his shoulder before leaving you. “My office. 10 o’clock tonight. Wear something easy to remove.”

He doesn’t wait for your response before walking out, leaving you with a shocked expression and a wet spot in your panties.

—

Walking up to the Captain’s office was something you were used to, just not in this context. You were hesitant to come, but you couldn’t deny the fact that you were also excited and nervous.

You needed this contact; needed to be strong.

For my family, you think before knocking three times.

*knock knock knock*

“Captain? It’s me…”

“Come in, and close the door behind you.”

You were excitable as you entered.

It was no secret that Kishibe enjoyed his fair share of Alcohol, Devil Hunting, and Women. You just never thought he would find you attractive. He was so much older than you, so much wiser and experienced. Why would you even entertain the idea that he would be interested? Surely this isn’t what you were planning for, right?

Walking into his office, you shut the door softly. Stopping just in front of it, you look at the older man waiting.

Kishibe stood in front of his large, oak desk. His long trench coat was off for once, sitting on the coat rack at the edge of the room. He was wearing the usual uniform of a Devil Hunter, a slim black tie and dress pants. The tight white dress shirt accentuated his muscles, giving his regularly rugged look a more defined stance. His jaw was tense, you could tell even from where you stood.

He’d been waiting for your arrival, and it sent tingles of excitement to your lower parts.

The only light was a desk lamp, illuminating the man from behind and basking his silhouette in a soft yellow glow. The rest of the room was dark; the only occupants being the two of you.

You weren’t sure what to do next, so you stood your ground waiting for further instruction from the man. Your fingers brush against the hem of the short dress you decided to wear. It felt odd to be in this room without your suit and tie on, weapons discarded in the locker room of the building.

You felt exposed in the dress, remembering that your only other articles of clothing were your panties and shoes. A dress this short and tight didn’t have room for a bra, unfortunately, and it didn’t go unnoticed by him.

He watched you play with the short hem, enjoying the visible shyness that crept up your neck. Kishibe was glad you followed instructions, and he admired the tiny playful dress you picked for tonight. He appreciated how your little nipples budded against the thin fabric, and his mouth watered as he thought about sucking on your tits.

Despite his lustful mind, he knew you looked good. The kind of good, he thought, that a girl would choose to go out for a date in.

That wasn’t the plan he had for you tonight, however.

No, tonight he was going to have what he’s been waiting for since the very first time you stepped into this office. He wasn’t a patient man, and he was ready to get started.

He calls your name out loud, his voice making you jump.

“Y-yes, Captain?”

“Come closer, let’s see the pretty little dress you’re wearing.”

You walk towards him, dropping your hands as you make your way over to where he’s leaning against the desk.

Once you’re within arms reach, he grabs you.

Gasping, you suddenly find yourself engulfed in his scent. Cologne and a slight whiskey scent… He smells familiar, you can’t put your finger on it, though. Kind of like home… but do you even remember what home smelled like?

You expect the man to hug you. However, you seem to be wrong.

Your Captain reaches behind your head, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling you towards his shoulder. He tilted your chin up towards his face with his other hand, putting you in a helpless position under him.

A thumb comes to caress your jaw as he hummed in admiration, looking deep into your eyes.

“You know, Kid… I know a lot of Devils. I could make you the strongest member of Division 4. You could finally kill the one that murdered your family. But… it’s gonna cost ya. Are you willing to pay?” He asks you.

You spend a moment to think, though you knew your mind was already made up. You’d do anything to kill the Devil that went after your kin. Revenge was your only priority, but was having sex with your Captain something you’d be willing to do?

The yellow light reflects off his earrings and the sparkle catches your eye…

Kishibe really was a good looking man. You thought about him occasionally, mostly on your lonely nights… And although he was much older than you, he had his shit together.

That is, had his shit together besides the alcohol… and the brutality… and the women….

Okay, so he didn’t really have all his shit together. But he was good looking, fit, and willing to make you stronger. So you decide you need him.

You finally give him his answer.

Looking up at him, you lock your eyes with his before answering, “Yes, Captain…”

His smile stretches from ear to ear at that. He looked down at you and gripped your hair tighter. The pain makes you moan out, a sound he easily found himself wanting to hear more of.

“That’s Master to you, Kid…”

You correct yourself, “Yes Master…”

He grins, “That’s right Kid, and I am about to make you a very happy woman.”

Suddenly, he switches your positions. Flipping you around so that your front now faces his desk, he stands behind you. Using your hair as leverage, he yanks your head to the side, exposing your neck to him.

Hot, wet kisses are placed along your neck as Kishibe grinded his (from what you can only assume to be) huge bulge against you. His hips push your dress up, exposing the black panties you decided to wear for the night.

He groans against your neck as you push back against him. It was getting heated at a pace you weren’t used to. But you couldn’t deny that you were enjoying the passion of it all. You suddenly found yourself desperate, it was as if there was an aphrodisiac laced in the air of the room.

“Master…” you cry out, pushing your backside against his front.

Soft kisses were replaced by rough bites that soon decorated the side of your neck. Each hickey that he left was meant as a reminder of each time he thought about taking you just like this.

All those times Kishibe wanted to lay you out on the desk before him and mark what’s his. You were under his division, and he wanted to own you in every single way. All those filthy thoughts of his were finally coming true, and he was about to savor every delicious moment of it.

He lifts the rest of your dress over your hips before bending you over his desk. You brace yourself so as to not knock your head on the wooden table. Kishibe wasn’t messing around, you realize from his forcefulness.

You felt the cool air hit the heat of your pussy as he pulled your panties down to your ankles, exposing you to the room.

“Oh god,” you gasp out, realizing his hot breath was panting right against your core.

He must be on the floor, you realize, and therefore must be staring directly at your exposed pussy.

You try moving away, but firm hands come up to massage your backside.

“Don’t even try, Y/n, I want to see you…” He whispers, holding you in place.

His hands felt rough from all the years of Devil hunting he had behind him; his fingers were scratchy against the softness of your behind. His ruggedness only made you wetter, loving the savage-tendencies you knew this man had.

He brings his thumbs towards your core, using them to spread your lower lips apart.

You moan, knowing that he could see everything like this. You were exposed to your Master completely, and you knew what he saw was a wet hole that desperately needed fucking.

“This-” he starts before swiping his tongue from clit to your asshole, “is all mine… Got it, Kid?”

Another swipe of his tongue has you seeing stars. Your knees were weak, on the verge of collapsing against his face. You knew to answer him before he denied what you so desperately seeked.

“Yes, Master!” you cry out.

Kishibe laughs, knowing he has you exactly how he’s always wanted you. Spreading your lips further, he sticks his tongue into your folds.

You scream and thrash against his face as he tongue-fucks your pussy with vigor, his nose rubbing against that other dangerous place as you leak into his mouth and drip down his chin.

“Oh god, yes!” you beg him, “Please Master!”

He drives you insane as he brings a tumb to circle your clit, making buck against him like an animal in heat. The rough stubble of his chin teased your folds as you ground yourself onto his face.

Stopping for a moment, he slowly circles your clit with his thumb- edging you, but teasing your orgasm from completely unfolding.

“Do you want to cum?” he mocks. “Do you want to cream all over my face?”

“Fuck- yes! Please!”

“Please, what Kid?”

“Please, Master!” You cry.

He responds in a tone that is almost threatening. “Then do it.”

Diving his face back into your cunt, he slurps and sucks your pussy, alternating between fucking your little hole and dancing his hot tongue across your clit.

It’s enough to drive you past the point of teasing. Your orgasm hits you like a train as you squirt all over Kishibe’s face, soaking him and the floor below in your juices. He encourages you to keep going.

“That’s it, Kid- fuck my face.”

You rock back against his tongue, riding out your pleasure as you feel the wetness against the rough stubble on his chin. You grinded against his face, enjoying the way he ate your pussy like a man starved.

He slowly licked you clean as you came to. After a few moments, you seem to slow your hips and come back down to Earth.

You were a wet mess. Sweaty and covered in your own cum, you pant to try and catch your breath. Attempts to collect your thoughts were made. However, you knew this man wasn’t through with you just yet.

Kishibe stands up, keeping his hands firmly on your hips. His grip was firm, almost bruising.

You knew better than to move- he wanted you there and you would do anything to please him at this point.

“What do you want, Y/n?” He asks you.

You can hear the buckle of his belt jingle as he undoes the strap. The zipper pull is next, and all of a sudden you feel the hot weight of a giant cock sitting against your bare backside.

The heat of his shaft felt like a brand on your skin, and you wiggled your hips to tease the beast.

*slap*

A painful blow comes to your butt, making you yelp out in pain. He didn’t appreciate your teasing.

*slap slap slap*

Your cheeks were on fire as he delivered blow after blow onto your behind. You groaned and moaned underneath him, waiting for his hits to finally end- not daring to move from your spot.

“Now,” he said after a final eighth blow, “What do you want?”

You cry softly, the cracks of his hand that followed too soon after your ograsm left tears in your eyes.

“W-want you, Master!” you say out to him, keeping your eyes fixated on the wall in front of you.

“Want what from me?” He goads.

He’s teasing you, you realize. The embarrassment of this older man making you beg for him pushed the tears over, falling softly onto the desk below you.

“Want you!! I want your cock- Sir, please!” You manage to cry out, but not before feeling inferior under the wrath of his brutality. You were overwhelmed with pain and pleasure; your mind had thoughts of only one thing: Kishibe’s cock.

“If you insist…”

The tip of his shaft runs up and down your wet folds- he coats himself in your juice before stopping at your clit. Circling your little bundle of nerves, he notices how swollen it's become from your prior orgasm. He can’t wait to have you crying for him.

Kishibe had big plans for his little woman. He was not only going to make you great- but make you his completely. He wanted you drunk on his cock; wanted you to cry out for him every night. From here on out, you would be molded to the shape of his shaft.

Bringing his cock towards your entrance, the older man teases your hole. Pressing his tip in and out, keeping it shallow enough for you to become frustrated.

“Please Master! I need it- I need your cum…” you cry out softly, desperate for stimulation.

You were a mess before him, having no idea what you just signed yourself up for.

“Oi Kid, don’t worry…” He smiles down at you. “You’ll get my load and more…”

His hips slam against yours in one movement, sinking his cock into your cunt all at once.

You scream- It’s too much. You didn’t expect him to go down to the hilt in one thrust.

Kishibe was no small man- his body practically towered over yours, and he had a penis to match. He was huge…

Your cunt stretched around him, filling you up as he pushed against your cervix.

“Fuck!” you cry out, the tears spilling down your cheeks rapidly. “It’s too much! I can’t take it…”

“Oh you can,” he responds to your pleas. “You can and you will.”

His next movements match his demanding tone. He’s swift as he pulls out of your pussy only to sink back in. You continue to cry out for him to slow down...

Suddenly, he shifts and thrusts up. His hips push against that rough part inside of you and have your vision going white.

Your cries quickly turn into moans of pleasure as his shaft rubs against it. He knows he’s just found your sweet spot.

With a smirk, he drives himself up into your cunt. Slamming himself inside of you over and over again. He fucks you on his desk as if you were the last woman in the world.

Soft cries fall from your lips as you mumble about how much you love it, how much you want his cum inside of you.

He barely hears what you’re saying over the slapping sounds of his hips meeting your backside, the squelching sounds of your wet cunt quivering around his hard cock.

“Fuck- Kid, you’re gonna make me fucking cum soon.” He says, not being able to hold back his strength.

He drives into you hard and fast, relishing the way your warm walls welcome his hard shaft. The grip he has on your hips is solid as he sets a brutal pace.

“Fucking do it- please, cum in me! I’ll do anything,” you beg him, reminding him of his original deal. “I’ll do anything please, cum in me- I want to be strong!”

“Oh you’ll be the strongest, Kid…I’ll fucking bathe you in my seed.”

“Fuck… please.. Fill me up, I’ll let you cum as much as you want…”

Your last statement seemed to seal the deal with Kishibe. You rocked back against his thrusting hips, meeting his body with equal excitement and endeavor.

“Shit, I-I’m gonna cum…” he manages to growl out.

His pace begins to get sloppy as he feels himself come undone. With one final thrust, Kishibe buries himself inside of your waiting cunt. He fills you with his seed- coating your insides with hot cum.

Swaying against him, you milk his cock with all that you can. Squeezing around him tightly, you make sure to try and collect every drop he gives you, putting on a show with your hip movements. He filled you deliciously, your insides felt hot and full.

All he can do is groan as you take control- he was completely fucked out and absolutely mesmorized by your little winking asshole below him. He stared down at it as you continued to drain him.

Oh he had plans for that, too. You were to be his in all ways after this.

After a few moments, you feel him remove himself from your body. With his weight gone, you could feel yourself drip in his release and knew he was watching.

Kishibe couldn’t help himself as he found himself on the floor, sitting in the same position that he had been in to eat you out just moments before. With his thumbs once again separating the pussy lips of your swollen cunt, he looked directly into the deepest parts of you. The same parts that his cock was just buried in. He couldn’t help his lewd thoughts as he realized he was getting hard once more.

You let him watch your hole leak onto the floor in submission… You realize that you’d let him do just about anything at this point, loving the way you felt under his demanding gaze.

“Master…” you whisper out, not too sure what you were asking for.

“Shhh…” he says, voice hushed. “I’m about to make you a very strong Devil Hunter.”

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[dandelionjack]

as a natural skeptic i’m gonna be real with you. i’m slamming the brakes on this whole religion thing before i figure out what it really is that i believe. one thing i know for certain is that i don’t think my experiences of the world relate to what you call “hard polytheism” at all, so i will be refraining from referring to myself as “pagan” or “heathen” or similar terms from here on out — as i learned from reddit, actual pagans, i.e. those of you who believe that the Gods from whatever pantheon you follow are literal, actual, 100% independent, non-anthropogenic, non-metaphoric entities, tend to frown upon talk of “archetypes” and co. i don’t want to be seen as insulting your Gods with my home-brewed eclectic woo-woo nonsense, so i’ll keep at an arm’s length until i’m one hundred percent sure that i can defend my own beliefs because i know what they are.

i personally lean towards the chaos magic side of approaching these concepts — although, truth be told, i need to do more reading. a lot more reading. but once again, i stress, personally, i find myself far more comfortable with the concept of egregores. metaphysical entities, congregations of energy and intent, that have been given power and consciousness through centuries of dedicated devotion and prayer from humans. if enough people direct their thoughts towards an idea for long enough, leave offerings for that idea, hold festivities in its honour, write poetry and paint artworks depicting and praising it, then it’s no wonder if it gains a mind and will of its own. i lean towards the idea of deities/other spirit entities as personified aspects of the universe, as currents of energy or patterns of thought or representations of natural phenomena that were given different (or many) names in different historical/geographic contexts and have taken on a semi-solid shape with time

which is to say, i don’t know whether the Presence that has been visiting me — the one that rekindled/sparked/ignited my interest in all of this, pun quite intended if you know who i’m talking about, is genuinely the ambiguous, controversial Norse deity that i have been referring to Them as; whether They are some kind of thoughtform or another separate spirit; a manifestation of my subconscious desire to “Aren’t You Tired Of Being Nice Don’t You Just Wanna Go A Little Apeshit”; or a character i Made Up In My Head (not outside of the scope of possibility, knowing my tendency to spot patterns where there aren’t any). i’m treading with caution. that’s what you do. because after doing some wider research, i really, really don’t wish to be associated with that sort of person — you know the one. edgy. rebellious kid. doesn’t know what they’re talking about. witchtoker

after all, i did come here through pop culture. so, maybe, all this ends up being is another hyperfixation on mythology. i’ve had those before as a way younger teen — thanks, uncle rick. don’t really know how to conclude this, so: i’ll get more educated and get back to you. if any of you (you know who you are) have any BOOK or ARTICLE RECOMMENDATIONS based on what i’ve said above, please don’t hesitate to PUT THEM IN THE COMMENT SECTION

xoxo, ivy

[organizechaoss]

"We're Professionals" - a HuskderDust fic

Prewritten. Updates on Tuesday’s

Blurb

"Well you just gonna stand there? Open it." Cherri glared at him across the kitchen counter.

Gingerly, Anthony unfolded it reading over the first few paragraphs. He dropped the rest of the papers to the floor.

"I got the part."

A Hazbin Hotel Actor AU that gets into the dark nitty gritty world of publicity, fame, and love centered on HuskerDust. Husk is known to be Helliwood’s Sweetheart who’s tied up in a lot of contracts and people he has to please. Anthony is an up and coming actor from the theater world, who just got his first big break.

It’s a love story.

See more below ;) or just start reading here <3

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR WHOLE FIC, PLEASE READ: This fic contains elements of coercion, non-con drugging, sexual assault, and false assault allegations (not my proudest moment — pls believe all allegations in real life). If you have concerns, feel free to message me or comment any questions you may have.

Now onto a more polite introduction:

Hello and welcome! This is a self indulgent fic I started months ago that sort of possessed me and I haven’t been able to get rid of it since. It’s a HuskerDust Actor AU set in the Hellverse but not as dystopian (i.e. no extermination). Essentially, the actors Anthony and Husk are playing the characters Angel Dust and Harley in the show Hazbin (which is shockingly similar to Hazbin Hotel in our world, lol). Husk is already famous and known to be Helliwood’s Sweetheart. Anthony is from the theater world and at the start of his career. 

It’s a love story.

Some minor warnings before we get into stuff:

I started this when I was newer to the fandom and used a bunch of throwaway names from both Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel to try and limit OC’s as much as possible

I don’t know much about the acting industry or anything. Pls chalk up inaccuracies to this being a Hell thing.

I’m not really a smut writer (yet), so there’s no fun spice here. I’m an ace writer who’s used to writing ace love stories — which this ended up being one, sort of…

On the other hand, I am an angst writer so while this is going to start out like a classic actor au, this fic can get a bit dark starting around Chapter 10 — but has a happy ending <3

Here’s some world building stuff and how posting this fic will go:

I’ll be posting weekly on Tuesday’s

This fic is approximately 250,000+ words in total and is fully written

There are 3 main arcs and I added one more bonus arc pretty much full of healing to atone for the hurt I inflicted <3

Arc 1 (Filming): Chapters 1 - 17 (~100,000 words)

Arc 2 (Post Production): Chapters 18 - 24 (~50,000 words)

Arc 3 (Premiere and After): Chapters 25 - 37 (~60,000 words)

Bonus Arc (Healing): Chapters 38 - 46 (~30,000 words)

This is set in Hell where there’s no extermination. Heaven and angel’s aren’t mentioned and angelic weapons are not real

All characters are demons, not human sinners, they were born and raised in Hell and don’t have a past human life. Everything they deal with is here and now and in the context of show business

Demons can be killed like humans can

All characters maintain their name in ‘real life’ and I gave them new ones for the ‘show’ — this is with the exception of Angel Dust who is Anthony in ‘real life’ and Angel Dust on the ‘show’

Characters do not have the ‘powers’ you see in the show. They are just normal people that can heal a bit quicker than humans? Maybe?

Still interested? Start reading here ;)

[the-boy-meets-evil]

take my hands (we can fall together) | lee chan | pt. 2

(where you and chan are friends, but he's your brother's best friend. and you've always been just a little out of reach. until one season changes everything.) pairing: brother's best friend!chan (dino) x f!reader genre: friends to ??, pining, slow burn | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut rating: explicit (for the full fic) warnings/notes: mentions of unhealthy relationships (reader x boyfriend), mentions of food, mentions of drinking/alcohol, halloween parties, mentions of cheating, reader's boyfriend is an asshole, reader's brother is chan's age and reader is 2 years older, eventual smut (in pt 3 - see that for warnings), any names of other idols are considered to be OCs word count: ~7.7k (full fic is roughly 23k) a/n: huge thanks to @svthub for hosting this fall collab. check out the full list of fics here. make sure you go back and read part 1 for context, this is part 2 (so only 1 part left!). also thank you to my bby indi for creating an amazing banner @classicscreations. if you want to be tagged in the last part send an ask or dm or just comment ����

tagging: @christinewithluv @aaniag @dejavernon @tbzhub @bitchlessdino @seungkwansphd

part 1 | masterlist | part 3

When there’s multiple nights of dressing up for Halloween, it’s harder to put as much effort into costumes. At least that’s how Chan feels about it. So, he knows that he’s taking the easy way out by dressing up as one of the Kens from the recent Barbie movie, but he’s also not really bothered about trying to come up with something more elaborate. Not when it’s a Saturday night and they’re all going to a house party. He’s got another costume planned for the night of actual Halloween that he put a little more thought into. 

He’s also sure to arrive a little later, because this is one of Seokmin’s friends and Chan doesn’t really know the people hosting the party. It’s not like that matters, really. Things like this are always pretty open as long as you know someone there. Even though Seokmin said he’d be there early helping to set up, Chan still doesn’t want to be that guy that shows up at an inappropriate time. The unexpected tradeoff is that he sees you before he even gets to the front door. It’s almost comical to see that you’re dressed up as one of the Barbies from the movie. It’s hard to tell which one under your coat. Not that it’s surprising. Chan figures you won’t be the only ones to pick a Barbie theme. Still, it’s like you coordinated without even meaning to. You force a smile when you notice him, and he sees that you’re on the phone.

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” Your voice sounds angry when it reaches Chan’s ears. 

He hesitates when he’s far enough away to give you space, yet still close enough that he can offer support if you need it.

“No, I always have to understand. I don’t have to understand tonight. It’s a Saturday night and we planned this party weeks ago,” you retort. 

Chan figures he probably should let you be because it’s clear that you’re talking to your boyfriend. It could be a minute before this particular conversation ends. Your eyes watch Chan as he goes to step around you and you reach out to grab his arm. You mouth “please wait” to him. That’s enough to make him stop completely.

“It’s not just a stupid Fall tradition. This is Halloween. Everyone celebrates Halloween,” you start and then roll your eyes. “Yes, I’m aware that you’re 28, but what 20-something doesn’t celebrate Halloween? Be so fucking for real.”

It’s hard to know where to look because all Chan can focus on is your tone. It’s not upset or defeated. It’s angry. Maybe you’ve had something to drink already, maybe you’re just fed up. He wouldn’t blame you. 

“Forget about it, Seungsik. You do whatever it is you have to do,” you say, pausing for him to speak. “Yeah, I heard you say you have to work but it’s a Saturday night. So, you do what you’re gonna do and I’ll be with my friends. Don’t bother coming over if you were even still considering it.”

Your hand is still on Chan’s arm, not that he would leave anyway. It would be awkward to stay this long only to leave when the conversation is clearly over. 

“Yeah, sure, we can talk tomorrow,” you say. You don’t say a goodbye or an “I love you” before hanging up.

“Let me guess, Seungsik bailed again?” Chan asks. He knows he shouldn’t sound so snarky about your boyfriend and also doesn’t care.

“Shocking, right?” you snort. 

“Well, at least you still have friends here,” Chan says and motions for you to head into the house ahead of him. 

You remove your coat and Chan tries not to stare at your Mermaid Barbie costume. He removes his own jacket and your eyes show your amusement before a laugh escapes your lips.

“Looks like I still have a Ken to my Barbie, too,” you joke. 

“You mean Jay didn’t tell you I was coming as Ken?” Chan jokes back. 

“Wait, was he supposed to?” you worry.

“No,” Chan assures you. “I’m not sure he was even listening when we talked about costumes. This was kinda last minute.”

“Well, we should take a picture anyway, we look good together,” you suggest.

“I’m down,” Chan agrees, too quickly. 

Two of you end up, mostly unintentionally, spending a lot of the party together. People that don’t know you keep assuming that you’re there together and your friends think it’s funny, so they keep poking fun. At least it means that everyone stays in a good mood. It’s a little confusing, though, because you don’t correct the people that don’t know you about being there with Chan. At one point, you do ask Chan if he’s actually okay with how close you’ve stuck to him. You make something of a joke about not wanting to keep him from anyone. It’s confusing. It tugs at Chan’s heart as a reminder that even if you’re fighting with him, you do have a boyfriend. Maybe that’s something to consider. But, he shakes it off and insists that he doesn’t mind. Your shoulders fall in relief and you admit that it’s comfortable being around him. You don’t want to talk about the argument, so it helps that Chan knows some of what happens. You like it that he doesn’t ask you too many questions that you know you can’t answer. 

It’s also a little surprising that even at this house party, which is relatively small because the house isn’t huge, you and Chan are the only Barbie and Ken. It seems like everyone thought it would be too common of a costume and tried to think outside of the box. Or some people just were lazy and wanted to save their better costume for the actual night of Halloween. 

“You’re glued to my sister,” Jay observes when Chan excuses himself to get a drink.

“I’m not glued, we just keep ending up together,” Chan disagrees.

“Yeah, seems kinda glued. And you came back in with her after she left to take a call,” Jay says.

“Oh, yeah, I walked up and she was talking to Seungsik. I figured I’d wait for her to come back in,” Chan says. He’s not going to tell your brother that you asked him to wait for you.

“I notice he’s not here,” Jay tries to say casually. 

“He’s not coming,” Chan shares. Jay goes to open his mouth and Chan cuts him off. “I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why he’s not coming, you’ll have to ask her. But, she seemed kinda pissed off at him on the phone, so maybe let her enjoy tonight and deal with the bullshit tomorrow.” 

“I’m glad she has you,” Jay says.

“Not you too,” Chan starts.

“No, I mean literally. You’ve been a good friend to her with all the bullshit over that asshole,” Jay says, irritation clear in his voice. “Wish she’d just break up with him, but if I say that, I’m being over protective.”

“I dunno, I think she’s probably closer than you realize,” Chan shrugs. 

You come rushing into the kitchen. “Come on, Chan, we have to go crush it at beer pong.” 

“Forgetting her brother again. Good luck, man,” Jay laughs out.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” you chide before pulling Chan away with a drink in each of his hands.

He’s more than a little thankful for Jay not calling him on making two drinks. It’s obvious when you show up that the other is for you, yet Jay just lets him be. It makes it easier for Chan to focus on beer pong. You’re at that perfect buzzed point, apparently, where you assure him that you’re going to be at your best. Even though it sounds kind of bullshit, he goes along with it. 

It’s not bullshit, Chan learns two turns into the game. You sink both of your shots without even hitting the rim of the cup. Meanwhile, Chan is just thankful to make one on his second try so you don’t insist you’re carrying the team. You might be, or Chan might be a little distracted by the way you line up your shot. Might be a little distracted by the way you lean up against him. Might be a little distracted every time his arm brushes against your bare skin. Might be a little distracted by the way you celebrate with him every time either of you makes a shot. It’s easy to see why people who don’t know you assume you’re here with him. It’s harder for Chan to remember that’s not true when he’s watching you out of the corner of his eye. 

After you win at beer pong, both of you find your way to a quieter part of the house. The party feels a little stifling and you want some air. Chan agrees, but it’s a little too cold to just sit outside. Instead, you settle for a quiet corner. This time you don’t ask if it’s okay to be stealing all of Chan’s time. Either because you can tell he doesn’t mind. or you’re trusting him to say if he did mind, he’s not sure. 

Now that you’re a little buzzed, not drunk, just feeling a little happier, you’re ready to talk about how things are really going with Seungsik. It’s immediately a lot more honest than Chan is expecting and infinitely more heartbreaking. He’s working crazy hours, claiming that he’s up for some big promotion and has to put in the time. He’s canceling plans on you left and right. He’s making you feel silly for wanting to do all these Fall things. You feel silly for even complaining about it, but Chan interjects to remind you that it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. It’s hard to only be supportive when you’re admitting that you feel like there’s something you’ve been doing wrong and that’s why he’s doing all of this. Despite Chan insisting it’s definitely not you, he can tell that you don’t fully believe it. 

It’s like you’re in this weird limbo because you’ve been dating him for over six months, which feels long enough that it’s serious. But, you’ve only been dating him for like six months, which you say also feels like you shouldn’t be overbearing. You’ve always wanted partners to have the freedom they need. Always been really adamant about maintaining your own friendships and hobbies outside of your partner. That’s important. You don’t ever want to be one of those people that gets into a relationship and forgets about their friends. Those are the people who’ve been there through all the shit. There’s a part of you that feels like that’s being used against you with Seungsik. Every time you tell him that you miss him or want him to do something, he reminds you that you suggested keeping some hobbies separate from each other. Chan is quick to tell you that there’s a difference. It sounds like he’s using your well-meaning words as an excuse to not see you as much, which is weird. 

Somehow, you both come to a silent agreement that you don’t really want to dwell on your issues with Seungsik, anymore. You’re just happy to have someone that’s willing to let you vent and then let you move on. Sure, Chan shares his opinions and reminds you as often as he can get away with that you do deserve someone who values you. Then, he also lets you get away with moving the conversation on to lighter things. Even though Chan’s known you for over ten years, there’s still so much about you that he doesn’t know. And he’s not sure what’s shifted, but something definitely has. You’re much more open in the way you talk to him lately, much freer with your words. It’s comfortable, kind of like a warm blanket. 

By the time the party is winding down, Chan is essentially sober, having spent so much time just sitting and talking to you. You’re still a bit buzzed, but well on your way to sobering up. Chan planned to leave his car here and pick it up tomorrow (well, later today since it’s the early hours of the morning) and instead he can drive home. He offers to give you a ride as well, which you happily take to avoid paying for a ride. None of the rest of your friends, except for Jay, seem to be around, but he’s very caught up talking to someone. Good for him, Chan thinks.

The car ride back to your apartment is comfortably quiet. Aside from you asking if you could pick the music, you’ve just been softly singing along and looking out the window. It’s nice at this time of night, too. Everything else is quiet, just the traffic of people heading home for the night, whether it’s to their homes or someone else’s. It’s not until he gets to your house that Chan gets a text from Jay that makes him frown. “Everything okay?” you ask, hand on the door to get out of the car.

“Yeah, just Jay hoping I’m not headed home because he brought someone home with him,” Chan says. “I’ll just be quiet when I go in and put my headphones on.”

“Or you could just crash here tonight,” you offer and Chan grips the steering wheel a little harder to steady his nerves. 

“I couldn’t do that,” he says, causing you to turn back to him. 

“Do you really wanna hear whatever my brother is up to?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, no, but it’s also not like it would be the first time,” he responds with a chuckle. 

“Come on, weirdo, you can sleep on my couch and I’ll make us breakfast in the morning,” you say, getting out of the car without waiting to see if Chan is following you. 

Of course he is, though. He scrambles to get the keys out of the car and hurry after you. Once you’re inside your apartment, you put a pot on the stove to boil some water. Insist that you need some tea before you can sleep. While the water is boiling, you go to the closet to pull out some blankets. It’s entirely too comfortable, both the couch and the way you move around him. Something he can’t fully ignore when you sit down with a cup of tea for each of you.

“Are you sure it’s okay that I’m here?” Chan asks.

“Why wouldn’t it be? You were nice enough to give me a ride home and it’s my brother that’s sexiling you,” you reason.

“What if Seungsik shows up tomorrow?” he asks.

You take a sip of your tea and then look over at him. “He’s not really the type to show up unannounced. Besides, why would it be weird to offer to let a friend crash?” 

“You’re right,” Chan concedes. 

“Plus, he hasn’t been over for breakfast in weeks and I miss cooking for someone,” you say. 

It’s kind of hard to argue with that, not that Chan wants to. Well, he’d like to argue that it’s bullshit that Seungsik has you feeling whatever you’re feeling. It’s complete crap that he doesn’t appreciate what an amazing person you are. It’s just not healthy. But, at the end of the day, it’s also not Chan’s place, so he just lets it go. 

You get up to wash out the cups when you’re finished with your tea and disappear into your small spare room. It doesn’t have a bed, because you use it as an office area, but apparently it does have clothes that you loan to Chan. The protest is on his lips when you cut him off to say that they’re Jay’s clothes he’s left here when he’s crashed. That’s much better than the clothing belonging to your boyfriend. When he comes back out of the bathroom, you’re in an oversized t-shirt and shorts, obviously ready for bed. He clears his throat to be able to say goodnight and pads out to the couch. It’s even more comfortable to sleep on than you said, but Chan’s brain won’t slow down enough to fall asleep. All he can think of is just how…domestic this all feels. How easy it is to be around you. Again. 

Though it takes him a while to drift off, he actually feels like he gets a good night of sleep. The smell of coffee slips into his consciousness while he’s in that in-between state before he’s fully awake. When he opens his eyes, he can tell that you’re trying to be quiet, not wanting to disrupt him. Even though it’s your apartment and you can make as much noise as you’d like. Chan opens both of his eyes and finds your back to him as you look into the fridge. Possibly deciding what you want to make. Your hair is in a knot on top of your head and you’re still wearing that oversized t-shirt and shorts. Everything about you seems relaxed. Until you close the door and turn towards the living room to see him awake. You jump a little and your hand flies to your heart.

“Oh my god, I didn’t realize you were awake,” you share after a moment.

“Sorry,” Chan says and throws his hands up. 

“No, I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” you wonder and he shakes his head. “I was trying to figure out what’s for breakfast.” 

“You really don’t…” he starts.

“I promised breakfast and you’re getting breakfast,” you interrupt. “Plus, look outside.” 

It’s a confusing request, but Chan gets up off the couch anyway to look out the window. As soon as he moves the curtain aside, he sees how hard it’s raining. He’s a little surprised that he didn’t hear it. And he’s definitely not overly eager to leave in that.

“Guess you have company for breakfast,” he says when he turns back to you. 

Your whole face lights up and you let out a squeak. “I can’t wait, oh my god, I have so many recipes I’ve been wanting to try.” 

“Like?” he prompts. 

“Do you trust me?”  you ask instead.

That’s a dangerous question. One that Chan isn’t sure he really wants to answer, because the answer is that yes, he trusts you far more than he should. Probably more than he’s trusted anyone else. The last month or so of all these activities has only reinforced that. Instead, he pretends to consider it for a second, buys himself some time.

“I guess, you haven’t poisoned me yet,” he says, voice surprisingly even.

“I hate you,” you joke with an eye roll. 

“I’ll remember that,” he teases back. 

To do something helpful, Chan gets up and folds the blankets he used to sleep and asks you where they go. Once they’re safely away in your closet, he texts Jay to say that he’s still at your apartment and having breakfast at least. Jay sends back an inappropriate number of emojis and says he’s going to make use of the extra time alone with whoever it is he brought home. Thankfully, he only makes one joke about being replaced as the favorite sibling, which Chan answers that you’re a better cook. Was it ever really a contest? 

To avoid being entirely useless, Chan makes both of you a cup of coffee. You’re about to tell him how you like it when he asks if you trust him. As he hands over the perfect cup and turns around to make his own, he misses the look on your face that he knows exactly how you like your coffee. It’s a mix of wonder and surprise. When you tell him it’s the perfect cup, you’re not even lying. He also can’t resist peeking to see what it is you’re working on, despite your attempts to swat him out of the kitchen.

“Is that French toast?” Chan asks, eyes wide.

“Yeah, I know it’s kinda simple, but I had some really good bread that was going a little stale and I’ve been wanting to try a new mixture,” you say.

“French toast is my favorite, I don’t think it’s simple,” Chan admits.

“I think I remember you mentioning that, actually,” you comment. It’s so offhand that Chan doesn’t think twice about it. There’s so many things he remembers about you that he’s thankful something about him sticks too. 

While you continue making breakfast, Chan asks where the syrup is so that he can warm it up a little. He doesn’t like it cold and neither, apparently, do you. You also don’t like fake syrup so you direct him to where you keep it in the fridge. It looks like it’s some small company that you probably got directly from the shop on some adventure. That’s definitely one great part about living in this part of the country, you’re never far from good syrup. It makes the whole apartment smell like maple and the cinnamon from the toast. And something else that Chan can’t really place. But it makes everything feel warm and comforting despite the rain that’s only coming down harder outside now. Maybe Chan doesn’t hate everything about Fall.

Unsurprisingly, it’s the best French toast he’s ever had. Something he’s quick to tell you and you’re quicker to brush off like he’s just being nice. It’s just as easy to chat with you in the light of day in your apartment as the haze of the house party the night before. It’s harder to ignore the way your phone periodically lights up with Seungsik’s name. Harder still to ignore is the fact that it’s just his name. No hearts or emojis or pet names. It’s almost impersonal, not that Chan should be passing judgment.

“Are you going to answer him?” he finally asks.

“No,” is your immediate answer. 

“But…” Chan starts and you level him with a look.

“He doesn’t get to have things on his terms when he couldn’t even come to a fucking Halloween party last night,” you say. 

“Have you talked to him since…” he starts to ask before trailing off.

“Since I was fighting with him on the phone and you walked up?” you finish for him.

“Yeah, that,” he says.

“I read one text from him asking why I was posting matching costumes with you, even though my caption on it was clear and he’s literally all over my page,” you share. “So, I didn’t answer that. I texted him when I woke up to say that I hadn’t read whatever he sent and that I was mad from last night and would maybe talk to him this afternoon or tonight.” 

“He doesn’t seem to have gotten it,” Chan comments as your phone lights up again with his name.

“No, he doesn’t. But that’s also not my problem. Not everything is going to be on his terms,” you say. 

“I’m glad,” Chan admits. 

“About what? Me fighting with Seungsik?” you wonder and Chan’s eyes go wide at the realization.

“No, oh my god, no,” Chan rushes out. “No, I’m just glad that you’re not letting it all be on his terms. You’re worth a lot more than how he’s been treating you.”

“Thanks, I think so too,” you slightly tease. 

Breakfast turns into you asking Chan to watch a show, which turns into him spending the entire afternoon lounging on the couch. You talk a little more about your relationship and what you might say to him when you finally text him back. Chan also tells you some things he’s looking forward to coming up and about some plans he has with your brother and Vernon. Sometimes, you’re just quiet while watching the show, but that’s comfortable too. Eventually, though, Chan realizes that he has to leave. He knows that you’re using at least part of him being there to avoid talking to your boyfriend. Not that it’s the only reason. It’s clear you enjoy having him around, too. But eventually you have to talk to Seungsik and so Chan finally says that he has to head home. Jay is starting to wonder where he is anyway. 

It’s not that Chan really wants to be out and dating, but he also thinks that it might help to get his mind off of you. Even though he loves every minute of being around you, it’s also getting harder. Especially when the time spent together includes things like the Halloween party and crashing at your apartment. He wants to be a good friend to you, but at what cost to his heart? No part of him feels entitled to your attention and he’s not even sure if he would be a better partner to you than Seungsik. It isn’t even about him anymore, not really. Not now that he’s spent all this time with you. It’s just about wanting you to find your own happiness that doesn’t come from a partner. Which is why he agrees to go out for drinks with a friend of a friend, Carla, that asked him weeks ago. What’s the worst that could happen?

He’s meeting her at some trendy bar downtown where the music is usually too loud to hear anything. Not exactly the ideal place for a first date, but maybe that will make it all easier. He does like to dance. And he knows the drinks are good. It’s also always pretty busy, making it easier to blend into the crowd. What’s weirder, though, is that she asks Chan to just meet her there. Again, not Chan’s first choice, but he goes along with it all the same. It’s thankfully very easy to spot her once he gets there.

She’s standing by the bar, her long dark hair framing her face and wearing a dress that clings to her in ways that should be against the law. The moment she locks her eyes on Chan, he thinks maybe he can do this. Maybe it’ll all be easy and fine. They exchange a quick hello, get their drinks, and then it’s right onto the dance floor. 

Time seems to move in odd ways. It could have been ten minutes just as easily as an hour. All Chan knows is that he needs another drink. When he says that to Carla, she agrees and says she’s going to run to the bathroom. They can meet at the bar. Once Chan makes it to the bar, his stomach drops. He looks back out at the dance floor and sees Seungsik with a stranger, that is definitely not you, tight against him. Some bottle blonde presses her ass further back into him and he grabs her hips. As Chan looks at them, Seungsik ghosts his lips across her neck, moves a hand up her stomach. The woman turns around in his arms and pulls him in for a kiss. Seungsik’s hands grip her ass, dangerously close to causing her dress to ride up. It isn’t until Seungsik pulls the woman off the dance floor and into the shadows that Chan realizes just how bad things are. 

Carla seems disappointed when Chan says that something’s come up and he’s got to leave, but perks up when he says that they’ll find another time. He’s not even sure if he should be giving her hope, he just wants to get out of there as soon as possible. Once he’s in the Uber, he texts Jay to ask if he’s home or if he’s got company. The answer that he’s alone in the apartment comes quickly.

“Thought you had a date,” Jay says when Chan comes through the door. “Unless you’re angling for a threesome. I’d have to turn you down though.” 

“Come on, man,” Chan says as he collapses on the couch. He runs a hand through his hair without thinking about it.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Jay asks, he’s coming back from the kitchen with a bottle of water.

“It’s about your sister,” Chan admits. It’s clear that Jay wasn’t expecting that, but his surprise disappears quickly.

“Wow, are you finally admitting you’re in love with her?” Jay jokes. “Can’t say I’m surprised, but also it could’ve waited?” 

“No, it’s not that. Well, I don’t know, it’s about Seungsik,” Chan says.

“So you’re not in love with my sister?” Jay questions.

“Can we not do this right now? This is serious,” Chan begs.

“Fine, we’ll come back to that. What about Seungsik? Other than he’s been a total dick about all the Fall shit,” Jay says as he leans back further into the couch.

“It’s more than that, he’s lying to her,” Chan states.

“What?” Jay needs Chan to connect the dots and it’s a lot harder than it seems.

“He’s, fuck Jay, he’s lying to her. He isn’t working late. At least not all the time. He was at the club with some girl, grinding, making out, dragging her off to some dark corner,” Chan says. 

The color drains from Jay’s face. “Are you…fuck, are you sure it was him?” 

“I’m positive,” Chan says. 

“You’ve got to tell her,” Jay says after a moment.

“I thought it might be better coming from you,” Chan hopes.

Jay frowns like he’s considering something. “I’m not sure it would. I don’t even mean because you saw Seungsik. It’s just that she’s seemed to kind of rely on you lately. It’s you she was with apple picking and picking out pumpkins. You she spent all of that Halloween party with. She trusts you.” 

“Well I’d hope she does, we’re friends,” Chan tries to joke.

“I’m not trying to fuck with you, I know I started by saying you were in love with her, but I just think it’s different,” Jay says.

“So you don’t think I’m in love with her?” Chan wonders.

“Oh, no I definitely do. I’m just not gonna bust you over it right now,” Jay says. 

“I’m scared to tell her,” Chan admits. 

“She deserves to know, though,” Jay points out. 

He’s right. You do deserve to know. You deserve a lot of things that Seungsik seems unwilling to give. At the very least, though, you deserve respect. What Chan needs help with is figuring out just how to bring it up with you. Jay is right, you and him have been spending a lot more time around each other than normal. Chan’s been more than happy to keep you company to do all the things that Seungsik doesn’t want to. What he’s not prepared for, however, is this. 

Even though it sounds dumb, Chan listens to Jay and asks you to come over to help him make a couple pies for a family get-together. He does have to go over to his aunt’s tomorrow, something you’re very aware of as you and Jay are also invited, and you are excellent when it comes to pies. Chan had just been planning to buy a couple, but this is a ready-made excuse. Even if he thinks it’s dumb. He’s a little surprised that you agreed since he only texted you the same day. Then again, maybe that’s not so surprising.

You breeze in with ingredients, including some that he already has, and immediately get to work laying everything out. He realizes, as you’re looking through his cupboards and scolding him over the lack of organization, how domestic this all feels. Again. It’s not as if he didn’t realize how much he liked you. No, it’s that he realizes he may love you and he’s going to have to tell you something that will break your heart. Best to get it out of the way early before you start baking. Just in case you want to leave.

“Where’s my brother? Avoiding helping in the kitchen?” you wonder. 

“No, he went to help Vernon test out a new game,” Chan says.

“You didn’t wanna go?” you ask.

“I kinda figured I needed to make sure I didn’t show up empty-handed tomorrow,” Chan starts. “I was surprised you agreed to come over on such short notice.”

“Oh, well, I didn’t have anything else to do and I can’t exactly leave you in your time of need,” you say, trying for casual and failing. 

“Wow, I feel the love,” Chan jokes back.

“Chan, you were going to use fake vanilla in your pies,” you scoff. 

It’s hard to keep the smile off his face, despite the news he has to share, as he throws his hands up. “I didn’t know there was a difference!”

“Tragic,” you sigh. “Plus, well, I don’t know. I like hanging out with you.” 

“I like it too,” Chan says. It comes out as little more than a whisper and his heart constricts.

“You’ve made this whole season so much better,” you admit. 

“Yeah, I could say the same for you. I didn’t really get the big deal about Fall before,” Chan shares.

“You didn’t?” you ask. Chan just shakes his head. “But you agreed.”

“Like you said, I couldn’t leave you in your time of need,” Chan jokes.

You playfully shove his arm. “Do you get it now? The appeal of Fall?” 

“I do, yeah. I’ve had a lot of fun,” Chan agrees.

“Wish Seungsik felt the same,” you utter. 

That’s it. That’s the opening, the best one he’s going to get. He has to take a deep breath to steel himself. “Where is he today anyway?”

“Seungsik?” you ask to confirm or to stall, it’s unclear which. After another nod, you sigh. “I don’t really know. He told me he had to stay late on a project and then was going to possibly get drinks with a friend at this little dive bar by his office. I hadn’t heard from him when you texted me to ask for help.”

“Did he say who he was meeting?” Chan presses.

You give him a weird look. “I don’t know. Sejun, probably. I don’t know all of his friends, though. Why are you asking?”

“Come here,” Chan says and pats a stool at the counter. It’s clear you think he’s being weird, or at least weirder than normal, but you listen anyway. “I don’t think he was with a friend. At least, I don’t think he was with Sejun.”

“What do you know?” you ask, eyes intent on searching his face.

“I, well I was out at that place you don’t like because it’s too, what do you usually say?” 

“Try hard trendy,” you supply with a scoff. 

“Right, well I was out and I saw Seungsik there. I didn’t recognize who he was with, but it didn’t seem like a friend. She was blonde and wearing something really revealing, grinding up on him, kissing him. I don’t know, maybe there’s…” Chan hasn’t thought this part out, not really. He feels awkward. 

“Maybe there’s an explanation?” you snort. “I’m sure there is. I’m sure it’s that he’s cheating on me like I’ve assumed he was for the past month.”

“I’m so sorry…wait, you what?” Chan splutters.

Of all the outcomes he prepared for, your immediate acceptance hadn’t been one of them. He’s expecting tears and you asking if he’s sure. He’s expecting you to wonder if you did something wrong. He’s expecting all the tearful things you see in movies. Except this isn’t a movie, it’s real life. And you don’t seem surprised, at all. Somehow, that feels worse. Then, he remembers how you were at the Halloween party. How you were the day after. Maybe it makes some amount of sense. It wasn’t the same as before you went apple picking. It wasn’t meek, it was angry. Pissed off. This is more like that.

You stand and shake your head. “I’m not blind and I’m not stupid.” 

“I never said you were,” Chan interrupts immediately.

“Oh, no Channie, I know you didn’t,” you say, voice soft like he’s the one that needs to be protected. “I think I’m saying that to myself. I knew something was wrong. I knew he was up to something. He’s never been the best boyfriend, but he got really secretive. He blew me off a lot and just pretended it was because he hated this season.”

“Which is bullshit, by the way. It shouldn’t matter how you feel about something. You at least try for someone you care about,” Chan insists.

“Yeah, he was quick to have something to say about me spending time with you,” you admit. That brings Chan up short.

“What? We did most of the stuff as a group,” Chan points out. 

“I wouldn’t think too much about it. It felt wrong when he said it. Like he was deflecting from his shitty behavior rather than commenting on something I’d done,” you say.

“I’m really so sorry, you deserve so much better than everything he’s done to you,” Chan says. 

“You know, that’s the first time you’ve actually said it to me, at least in so many words,” you observe.

“Said what? That you deserve better?” Chan questions. Your face is a bit sad as you nod. “It sounds hollow to say, at best, or judgmental, at worst.”

“I could tell you thought it, though, even if you didn’t say it,” you share. “You said at the Halloween party that I deserved someone who valued me, but you didn’t actually say I deserved better.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it,” Chan says with a sigh.

“Don’t be, I wasn’t ready to hear it,” you assure him. “Besides, you’re one of the only people who shouldn’t be sorry to me. About anything.”

“Do you want to talk about it? About Seungsik and the relationship and what you’re going to do next?” Chan asks. 

You look at him for a minute. “On two conditions.”

“Which are?” 

“That you let me help you make pies if you do actually need them,” you begin. 

“I do,” Chan interrupts.

“And you have to promise not to pull any punches when it comes to your opinions. I want flat out honesty or I don’t want anything.”

“Deal.” 

It turns out that it’s still surprisingly easy to be around you. Obviously you’re sad. You’re hurt. There’s part of you that wonders what you’ve done wrong. But, there’s this vibrancy about you that’s been missing the last several months. The laughs come easier, the brightness in your eyes says you’re up to something, and you’re picking on Chan’s complete inability to make a pie at every chance you get.

In between making the pies, Chan is honest, just like he promised. Maybe a little too honest. He’s got a lot of opinions about the things Seungsik did, or usually didn’t do, and how nobody deserves to feel like the things they love are less important. When you share more about your relationship, Chan finds himself more irritated. It’s clear that you were dulling yourself down so that he didn’t find it annoying. Apparently, your laugh was too loud and you got excited about too many little things. You were too nice with new people and that was annoying because sometimes Seungsik didn’t want to be sucked into a conversation. Before he could stop himself, Chan was listing why those were some of the best things about you. He loves how everything about you brightens up when you’re passionate, loves that you can make anyone feel at home, loves how much you love life. 

Once you both get past bashing Seungsik, an activity that’s entirely too fun, you ask for Chan’s advice about how to break things off. He’s a little surprised that you seem so sure and that you don’t want to give him a chance to work through it. That’s when you remind him that things felt off, anyway. Remind him about the Halloween party. You’ve given Seungsik plenty of chances to not disappoint you. He’s missed all of them. And when you’re done, you’re done. In that case, Chan suggests that you catch Seungsik by surprise. Show up at his apartment without telling him and maybe he’ll even give you more reason to break it off. It’s blunt and honest and you thank him before he has a chance to second guess that level of honesty. 

“Chan, will you get the door?” his aunt calls from the kitchen after the bell chimes through the house. 

It takes a second to excuse himself from the conversation with his cousin and make his way towards the door. There’s no thought about who might be on the other side because he knows that his aunt always invites way more people than she should. She just loves to be surrounded by good people and good food. What Chan isn’t expecting, though he probably should be, is seeing you on the other side of the door with a bottle of wine and a bag of ice.

“Hey,” you say casually and hand the bag of ice over to Chan.

“Uh, hey, I wasn’t expecting you,” Chan says, “or a bag of ice?”

“Everyone always needs more ice at a party,” you provide with a shrug. “So, uh, are we gonna stand at the doorway or…”

“Is that who I think it is?” Chan’s aunt calls as she comes down the hallway. “Oh my god, it is. It’s my favorite almost niece!”

Chan steps aside so that his aunt can engulf you in a hug. It’s actually kind of sweet to see such a warm greeting. 

“I hope it’s okay, I didn’t think to let you know I’d be here,” you say.

“It’s always okay,” she says. “I’ll take any excuse to see you.”

“Actually, could I give you this ice? I wanted to have a quick chat with her about something before we eat,” Chan says to his aunt.

“Sure, I’ll take the wine too. You remembered my favorite, I see,” she says affectionately before disappearing back into the house.

“I suppose I don’t have to ask what this is about,” you joke.

“Come on, we’ll go this way,” Chan says without answering. 

The house isn’t nearly as familiar to you as it is to Chan, but you’ve been here enough to recognize that he leads you into a guest room. There are a couple chairs that save you from having to sit on the bed. That feels like it would be a little too intimate. All Chan wants to do is check that you’re okay. 

“I’m surprised you’re here,” Chan states.

“This time of year is about being with the people you care about,” you answer. “Plus, your aunt makes amazing food and I helped you with the pies. It felt like I should be here.” 

“I don’t think you’ve ever been here without Jay,” Chan says. 

It feels different to be alone with you like this. Going out on adventures, alone or in groups where you ended up together, was one thing. Different, yet easy to fall into. Crashing at your apartment after the Halloween party was entirely different from that, even if it ended up being easy. Having you at his apartment yesterday was surprisingly easy. But this, showing up at his aunt’s house without Jay and newly single, it feels weird. Not weird in a bad way, just weird. There’s almost an intimacy to it, like a glimpse into how things might have looked if everything was different. How it would be if you and him were together and spending time with his family. Yet, he also finds that’s not something he really wishes for anymore. It isn’t that he doesn’t still care about you, because that probably won’t ever change. It’s just that he cares more about helping you with your broken heart.

“Should I not have come?” you ask and Chan hates the way you seem smaller again.

“Of course you should’ve,” Chan rushes out. “I’m really happy you’re here. I’ve been wondering how you were since you left my apartment yesterday.” 

Once again, it’s too honest. It’s too vulnerable. Maybe it’s even too much of a burden to possibly admit that to you, but Chan also knows he needs to so he really can move past this. 

“You said the girl you saw him with on Friday night was blonde, right?” you ask and Chan nods. “I’m guessing it was the same girl that answered the door in his t-shirt.”

“What?” Chan nearly shouts.

“I didn’t even have to tell him that you saw him, which is probably a good thing. He can’t try to turn it around that you made it up,” you say. 

“I…is that a thing that he’d do?” Chan wonders because it’s easier to focus on.

You snort. “Yeah, he was convinced you were in love with me or something. Just another way he was deflecting from himself. Like men and women can’t be friends.” 

It’s hard to ignore the way his heart breaks a little at that. Yet the bigger issue is that you’re right, thinking men and women can’t be friends is insane. 

“You’ve been such a good friend to me,” you continue on. “I’m so thankful for that. I didn’t realize how much I needed to see an example of a guy just being kind and caring until you were right there.” 

“It’s pretty easy to be that to you,” Chan says because it’s honest and it’s real. 

“I broke up with Seungsik on the spot, obviously. He didn’t even try to deny it. Actually had the audacity to try and make it my fault. I guess she knew I existed too and didn’t care. Maybe I wouldn’t either if I was getting all his time like that,” you say, more like you’re talking to yourself.

“Yeah you would’ve, you’re too good a person for that,” Chan points out. 

“Maybe,” you concede. 

“I know it’s a cliche, but you really do deserve so much more than that. You deserve someone that’ll wake up every day and appreciate everything you bring to the table because it’s so much,” Chan says. 

“You have to say that, you’re my friend,” you deflect. 

“Oh no, I’ve been meaning to tell you, I don’t even really like you that much. I just stick around because of Jay,” Chan jokes and you laugh, bright and real. 

“Glad you finally admitted it,” you say. “Maybe you can tell that person, whoever they are, to hurry up and come find me.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Chan tells you. “I am glad you’re here, though.”

“Yeah, me too.” 

last part dropping 12/8 💕 let me know if you want to be tagged!