#is usually just gonna make them feel worse rather than actually stopping them

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

So, I couldn't find much else on this post about like. How to actually go about alternatives beyond "just suck it up and do it"

So I'll try, as someone who will admit that they used Gen AI in the last few months, but also does write all of their public fics without it, has been writing fics on their own for years before it, and has now gone back to distancing themself from AI. First, elephant in the room: It *did* get less approachable to RP with real people, and it *is* really hard to be brave enough to do it. Having to rely so much on Discord nowadays really *does* feel like a big step backwards. I also feel it's reductive to blame this specific phenomenon on AI. To me, it feels like AI is just well-timed to capitalize on a decline that was in motion regardless. And realistically, your most approachable friends usually don't share *ALL* your interests. Sometimes an idea being weird or uncomfortable ISN'T just in your head, and not just anyone is suitable for it. It really is hard. Of course, hard things can be worth it, but we need to stop downplaying it and being so quick to discard compassion and ignore people's struggles. (and no, compassion doesn't have to mean you just enable them) Otherwise, they're not actually going to stop or really learn anything beyond "well, now i've made them all mad at me, so that's even more reason not to RP, I already ruined it for myself" Like. Anxiety *sucks* at grasping "people won't be mad forever". A lot of the time, it *feels* like "they all still hate you, they just decided to be polite about it" Personally, I still don't really RP, and I'm still afraid of it. But my general approach to hard things is to take a few deep breaths and just take the first step before I can talk myself out of it. Then let yourself feel the discomfort. Let yourself see that it's not going to harm you. Keep breathing. As for writing, I have plenty more experience there, but that's hard too. It's often slow, tedious, thankless, and I've gotten criticism that I would genuinely call traumatic. Again, I don't actually think AI is to blame for perceived reductions in fic engagement, either. People who don't want to read a fic were always going to find *something* to do besides read that fic. IMO, the only real option is to try to reduce your need for attention and approval, and keep in mind that people just naturally aren't in the mood to read fics 24/7. Do your best to calmly let self-doubting thoughts about it pass over you without feeding further into them or taking them as fact. I also feel like we don't really talk about how much harder it is to do things when you get past the age where you were able to confidently be bad. Devoting yourself to something that feels miserable and constantly makes you anxious and scared is extremely difficult. Start small. Aim for short, achievable things. Try to teach yourself that you're capable of *something*, and try to find people who are actually willing to be attentive and supportive. (Which is another thing that's way harder than people on this post keep claiming it is. A Ton of fandoms are tiny and/or mostly dead.) I would suggest starting with posting basic scenarios and ideas rather than actual stories. It gets notes and attention without all the commitment, especially if you keep at it, so then it's much easier to pick out people who'll be interested and supportive in the first place. As for private writing, it's once again the kind of thing that gets easier when you start. I myself often have to sit in the word document with no other distractions for upwards of 45 minutes before I finally feel like I'm able to make actual progress. "Just write a sentence or paragraph every day" flat out doesn't work on me, because I have to invest so much into getting the ball rolling for each session that I *can't* just "pop in" and do a little at a time. And don't be afraid to write out of order or write small snippet scenarios, either. I've lost loads of productivity to being irrationally uncomfortable with writing "out of order", or not writing a "proper" longform story.

[redxx95]

How Cherry Magic avoids romanticising self-sacrifice

Alright strap in boys, this is gonna be a long one.

Spoilers for the manga (mostly the english volumes but I will include a bit from vol 12. I'll mark it tho so yall may skip it if you don't want to be spoilered).

So in this one I want to examine how cherry magic does a great job at portraying self-sacrifice in a relationship as an actual flaw rather than a romantic ideal to aspire to. Very often you'll see characters in media putting their own needs aside for their lover. A lot of people will swoon at that because it is usually presented as proof of how dedicated they are to their partner and their wellbeing. (See... well the thai adaptation actually).

But what has pleasantly surprised me is how Toyota handles this in her manga.

Starting from the beginning, we all know the millions of things Kurosawa did for Adachi to get closer to him. After all, that is what's usually expected of him if we talk traditional gender roles. But one of the reasons Adachi even starts falling for Kurosawa is because of how he was for once able to do something for him.

For someone with very low self-esteem, being able to help this super-capable perfect man is a big boost in confidence and also raises his own selfworth.

So now let's look at a few instances of selfless action and the consequences resulting from them.

First one is the disaster-date in volume 4

Kurosawa does his very best to choose activities that he thinks Adachi will enjoy. That is his primary concern.

The effect this has on Adachi though is that the gap between them feels impossibly wide, only worsening his already low opinion of himself.

Whenever Kurosawa does something big, it makes Adachi feel that much smaller. That's why he'd rather them be equals in everything instead of one giving more than the other.

Next is the argument they have in volume 8

Kurosawa attempts to, very selflessly, protect Adachi from his lowkey homophobic parents. He doesn't want them and their opinions to hurt Adachi personally, so he ends up lying to him to keep the peace. The effect this has on Adachi though is disastrous. At first he's just generally worried about why Kurosawa would even lie to him in the first place, but then they have that fight in their living room and you really get a good look at how negatively this affects Adachi.

The very first conclusion he jumps to is that he's not doing good enough for Kurosawa to feel secure with him.

The next one is even worse, where he thinks he's not good enough in general. Both of these show how when pressed, he will default to blaming himself, believing that he is the problem first and foremost.

And then, if all of that wasn't bad enough, this happens next:

He's actually being self-deprecating again, something he hadn't done ever since Kurosawa told him not to in volume 5. And yes you can actually go back and check for yourself. Whenever he has negative thoughts after this point he's always pushing back.

So there's an escalation happening here, one that is entirely caused by Kurosawa not sharing his burdens with him, by making their relationship unequal.

I think it also hurts him extra bad because they've had this argument before, just with their roles switched.

So to him it must feel like Kurosawa is betraying the important lesson Adachi learned from that argument, which is that communicating with your partner is important, even when you feel like it might hurt them.

There's also something to be said about how most people would've probably stopped prodding when someone says "it's something I can't tell you", but Adachi knows that Kurosawa has a pattern of hiding his issues from him thanks to the mind reading, which is the whole reason they had that argument in vol 6 in the first place.

So, to summarize: Whenever Kurosawa acts selfless it takes a toll on Adachi's mental health. Because of his low self-esteem he needs to feel on equal terms with Kurosawa to be able to see himself as worthwhile. (And obviously he also loves Kurosawa and doesn't want to see him in pain just in general.)

So after all that, surely Kurosawa would have learned his lesson, right? Surely he wouldn't just do it again, right?

... Spoilers for volume 12 start here ✨

So volume 12 is all about Kurosawa overworking himself because he's been assigned this big project by their chief to oversee their company's spot at a stationery convention. (I didn't look up whether or not that's a real thing but it is in the manga universe I guess lmao.)

Adachi tries to help alleviate his burdens with mixed success.

(On the left he feeds Kurosawa because he needs to finish his work and doesn't have time to eat. On the right he tries to take a phonecall for Kurosawa but gets told that Kurosawa needs to hear it personally so relaying a message won't do.)

Then Adachi muses to himself how Kurosawa was always helping him out in the past and how Adachi can't do anything for him in return, especially since they're in different departments. He feels very useless, which is once again bad for his mental health.

Later at home, he offers to at least take over the chores for the time being, but gets told that Kurosawa actually enjoys doing chores so there's no need for him to help.

Kurosawa tells him that all he needs is Adachi to be close to him, while making out with him on the sofa. And right here we see how he only got half the lesson he was supposed to have learned in volume 8: In their fight Adachi told him that they should both be happy and he should share "all the hurt" with him, too. Well, the simple solution to that is not to see all his burdens as burdens, then he's not hurting and Adachi doesn't need to bother fussing over him! Win-win. Epic mind gymnastics 😎 (To be honest, I feel like this is actually very relatable to people that tend to give more than they take. We get so used to the weight of the burden that we don't notice it slowly pulling us down.)

So Adachi obviously notices what's going on and berates him about not having understood anything he said from that fight.

Throughout the volume Kurosawa gets more and more overworked, makes mistakes and is confronted with unexpected complications. He's very adamant about not asking anyone for help though, stating that he "can't be bothering his senpais any more than he already has" and that he's "doing this all for the sake of his future with Adachi".

He also still has some hangups about people seeing him as just a pretty face, as you can see in that flashback in the second page. He constantly feels the need to prove himself to others, which prevents him from ever seeking out help.

So when he inevitably reaches his limit, Adachi is finally able to be there for him, being the only one that sees through his facade.

(That hand kiss is so precious 😭)

Also, on that first page Adachi asks him whether or not he's fine, which reminds me of this panel from volume 6:

He really knows him so well.

Emboldened by his husband, Kurosawa finally does ask for help and is, of course, met with understanding and sympathy.

.

Spoilers for volume 12 end here ✨

So all this to say: Sometimes, when we try our best to be selfless and to protect the people close to us, we do more harm than good. Sometimes we cause harm to others (see volumes 4 and 8) and sometimes we cause harm to ourselves (see volume 12). It is of course a noble cause but it's not something to strive for at all times and can sometimes be actually counterproductive to what we wanted to achieve in the first place.

As someone who breaks themselves apart to help all the people around them, this aspect of the manga resonated very strongly with me and is probably the biggest reason I got so obsessed with this silly little BL romcom.

I know that this manga is not like, the best in quality. I know it's super niche and silly and cannot compare to the big popular mainstream manga with lots of depth and thought put into it, BUT.

A piece of art doesn't need to be "good" in order to resonate with people. You don't need to paint the mona lisa to reach someone and make them feel seen. You just need some sort of medium and a will to communicate something to the observer. (Something an AI could never replicate but that is a whole other discussion.)

This manga reached me when I needed it and it communicated a message that resonated with me and that is all it needed to do for me to love it to the point of obsession. 💖

Finally I'm done with this essay it is so long oh my god. If you reached the end of this, I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoyed it tho.

[jeanbie]

IF I LAY HERE (WOULD YOU LIE WITH ME?) ★ masterlist.

pairing: eren x reader

genre: best friends-to-lovers-au, actor au, fluff mostly | warnings: fem!reader | wc: 2.6k

note: hey. i still love u guys and i am still pining over aot. will never stop probably. anyway, this was an older fic i wrote but i'm handing it down to eren! title is taken/inspired from chasing cars by snow patrol (my fav song)

⏤ Eren has had enough - it's been four months since he's last seen you, and he's not going to let his fame status keep him from seeing you any longer. He just hopes that you feel the same way when you see him again.

Eren was taking a pretty big risk, he knew that.

It was risky taking any step out of his apartment at any moment; he’d think he was safe until he made it to the end of the road, earphones snug in his ears, and the flash of a camera behind the bushes in the corner of his eye blinds him back to his front door in a twisted shame. 

Granted, he’d expected it to be worse now that he'd booked a plane ticket and made a rather hasty, in-the-moment journey to the airport and on a plane with no layover. Usually when Eren takes a journey overseas, there’s at least one or two fans hiding in the corner of the suites waiting for him, or someone on the plane who’d recognise his face.

For this, he’d suck it up and take a photo. It was better to have good PR and be a little bit pissed off that he’d been discovered, than to have bad PR and to be known as the actor from Attack on Titan who didn’t give a damn about the people who essentially made him and his friends famous.

But Eren thought the risk was worth it this time. The plane touched down in a different country, and from there, it was an hour long train journey to a station he didn’t know anything about to meet a friend of yours he’d only seen in Instagram pictures.

You were at university now, a face he saw on a screen rather than a face he quite literally saw every day months before. It had been four months since Eren had seen his best friend, and fuck anybody who was going to make him wait a second longer before seeing you again.

You were his greatest risk, but it was worth it. You were worth it.

“Fuck, it’s insane to actually be meeting you right now.”

Frank is a good guy, ginger with circle glasses resting on the end of his roundish nose. He led Eren out of the train station, offering to pull his suitcase for him. “I mean, I’m a huge fan.” Followed by a sigh and a quiet, “Who isn’t…?”

Eren smiled at him, squinting in the sun as it hit his eyes in the direction of Frank’s face. “Thanks. I hear a lot about you, too.”

Frank grinned, whipping his head towards Eren. “All sexy and scandalous things, I hope. You know, none of us believed Y/N when she said she knew you. We thought the pictures were Photoshopped, you know how she is.” They both paused by the side of the road waiting to cross, “Shit, she’s gonna freak out when she sees you.”

That was three minutes ago, but Eren's still playing that sentence on a loop in his head. She's gonna freak out when she sees you.

He walks alongside Frank down one of the streets, past a redundant furniture store that quirks his brows. He’s missed it here, and how unbelievably, shockingly awful it all looks when you’re not looking at picturesque photos of it online.

“I thought you’d know that Y/N’s my best friend,” Eren says thoughtfully. He pauses as Frank does as a car zooms past when they’re about to cross. “I mean, people know. The photos got leaked, all of them.”

“Hey, give me a break,” Frank says dramatically. “I only really became a super fan three months ago. I'm more into Levi, you know how it goes. And yeah, I figured it out eventually. Finally, I understood why so many people at this uni wanted photographs with her and to be her best friend…”

Eren frowns. “Is it bad? She doesn’t tell me this stuff on the phone. I mean, they go crazy online when she posts pictures and we interact, but I didn’t…”

Frank shakes his head and grins at Eren as the words die out in his mouth.

“Nah, don’t panic. It’s not that bad. If anything, she might get a kick out of the fame. Trust, there’s always gonna be the girls who hate her because she’s friends with you and that’s like, what, threatening to their fantasy? But she loves you a lot, and a friendship like yours…it’s kinda like family, you know?”

Eren feels his stomach flip, butterflies going haywire. These butterflies are bitter and relentlessly fast, his heart racing that extra bit quicker. He likes the sound of family. He doesn’t like the way Frank implies it, because if Eren is ever going to consider you as family, it won’t be as his sister.

You’ve never been his sister, even when you became part of his family growing up on special occasions, or even just on a daily basis when you came to visit. There were times his family called you their own, but you were never his sister. It was different than that; you both knew it but never dared acknowledge it.

Frank makes small talk until they make it to the student accomodation you currently live at, and because Frank knows basically everybody, a student comes to the gate to let them both in. They’re nice and tall, wearing an Aston Villa shirt that Eren remembers looks a lot like your dad’s back in the day. Might be the same kind, might be a vintage.

He smiles at him, because maybe this guy knows Eren, but then the guy just turns back into the common room and doesn’t come out again. Frank doesn’t live here - he lives in a flat of his own around the corner, but Frank might as well be a resident here. He lets himself in towards the lift and shoots a text to one of your flatmates.

“Apparently she’s in the shower,” Frank says casually. He locks his phone, taps his foot as the lift rises, “Let’s hope she doesn’t stride out completely stark naked as you’re in there.”

He almost blushes, “Ha, yeah.”

He declines to mention the times you two have showered together, the time you went skinny dipping together when you were seventeen. Those were things that might end up getting misunderstood, and those are his memories he’d like to keep a secret. He says nothing, nothing but a thank you when he enters your flat with Frank and takes a different turn to the left whereas Frank goes right, towards the kitchen.

Your room is at the very end, your name on the door in stickers from a set you got from the market, and from inside, he hears the music in the bathroom. The door opens silently and closes with the same volume, and Eren manages to wheel his suitcase to the end of the bed and plonks himself down.

As expected from pixels on the screen, your room looks better in person - white walls and a bed set that’s white and covered with little peonies. Above your desk, Eren recognises all your photos together, new polaroids of you and the friends you’ve made at university who Eren always felt kind of threatened by. He smiles to himself, and rests his head against the wall your bed is attached to. From here, he can see the bathroom door in the mirror on the opposite wall, but he knows you’ll only see his feet when you come out.

Speaking of which; the song playing in the bathroom ends suddenly and the shower water has stopped running. Eren hears the toilet flush and his heart starts to race.

Four months of falling asleep on Facetime and texting when there was no time left in the day, and now, here he is, on your bed, waiting for you to step out and… And, then what?

Maybe you wouldn't even want him here. Maybe you were happier now that Eren was travelling the world with his other friends and film crew while you were still here, in a new city with new friends and a new life. Maybe the memory of Eren was burdensome to you. Worse - maybe he was something you felt you had to remember but didn’t really want to.

Eren's always been scared of the rejection he might receive from you. He might be a dream for fans across the world, but there’s a split second where Eren feels like he might not be good enough for you. He’s the world to other people. But you deserve the whole galaxy, and he’s afraid that’s something that he might not ever be able to give you, even with all the money and the fame.

The bathroom door opens and in two seconds, the light is shut off and he hears you sigh.

“Jesus, Frank, you gotta stop letting yourself in here without telling me,” your voice says. “Good thing I’m semi-decent. Usually I’m not.”

“No fun,” Eren teases, and silence follows. There’s a pause, and Eren cocks his head, his left cheek on his shoulder, waiting for you to click and appear in front of him.

Suddenly, he hears small but quick thuds across the carpet and Eren feels his chest tighten with a nostalgic feeling when you come into view with wide eyes, damp hair and nothing but a bra and those stupid black worn leggings you refuse to throw out.

The grin that reaches Eren's eyes now aches as he laughs at you, at the way you gape at his presence. It takes a moment, a moment of what feels like could be the rejection that Eren absolutely fears, but then you smile so wide that Eren feels it in his stomach.

“Holy shit!” you exclaim loudly, bringing a hand to your mouth as you hurry towards the bed. It dips beneath your knees and Eren rises up to a more comfortable position. “What the fuck!”

He laughs out loud, and when Eren wastes zero time in bringing you into his arms, hugging you tightly.

“Careful, my hair’s all wet,” you squeak.

“Don’t care.”

He really doesn’t. There’s probably going to be a damp spot on his clothes after, but that’s okay. You groan loudly with happiness as you hug him in return as tightly as he is hugging you, your weight on his lap and your arms around his neck.

Eren smiles so wide, sighing with content into your neck. Here, he smells the marshmallow body wash on your skin, the fragrance of your hair that kind of reminds him of Cabbage Patch babies.

“You smell good,” he mutters. You laugh quietly, squirming when his nose sniffs across your neck like one would kiss. “I don’t.”

“You do, you always smell good,” you reply. One sniff, he laughs, “See!”

“Mmm,” he plays along, “the sweet smell of planes and trains and jet lag.”

That makes you laugh, and at the mention of jet lag, Eren realises he could probably fall asleep like this given the chance. He has missed this, missed you, so fucking much. The emotions are overwhelming. 

Eren kisses behind your earlobe, and then just underneath your jaw. That’s new. Eren was always a cheek-kiss kind of best friend, but never this.

You’re not complaining. Your head drops to one side, almost giving him more access to the space free, and he occupies it. Those fucking butterflies; Eren feels sick with nerves as he kisses you, under your chin and across your neck, on that spot on your collarbone you found out tickled after Seven Minutes in Heaven in Year 8.

Maybe your fingernails in his hair are a way of you telling him to stop - it’s something he can think about tonight if he can’t fall asleep, something he doesn’t care to think about when he kisses on your actual jawline, to your cheek and the corner of your mouth, your cupid’s bow.

He moves away with a blush that matches your own, but maybe you can’t see his in the colour of your fairy lights. He plays with the dazed confusion on your face as he moves the hair from across your face to around your ears, smiling and raising his eyebrows.

“Your hair is so fucking wet,” he sniggers boyishly.

“I told you,” you shrug. You shrink, relaxed, “Fuck, why are you here? I mean, I’m literally so happy, but… Are you gonna get in trouble for this?”

“I dunno,” he admits. “Maybe, probably. I mean…the guys know I’m here. Jean drove me to the airport with Armin.”

“That’s not what I mean, though.”

Eren sighs loudly. “Yeah, I know. Frank told me all about the girls.”

“Little fucker. Is he here? I’ll punch him for mentioning it to you. It’s honestly fine. It's only a few. Most are really nice!”

“You’re my best friend for life, it’s important to me that you’re not uncomfortable by--”

“I’m not,” you assure him, hands trapped in his hair. You frown and try to change the subject, “Damn, this got long. Didn’t look long over the phone.”

“I've been growing it out,” Eren replies. “Heard you fancied Keanu Reeves, couldn’t handle the competition.”

“Ha!” you retort. “Simp.”

“For you,” frowns Eren dramatically.

Conversation fizzles comfortably, to the point where you both forget that Eren's underneath you and your legs are wrapped like a koala around his middle.

The fact that this is normality for you both is ignored. You’ve done worse things together. Eren even knows that the bra you’re wearing now is one he bought for you, half as a joke, half not. That could be why Eren feels the way that he does, why the confusion wraps around his body and traps him.

Eren knows that the butterflies in his stomach don’t just appear because you’re his best friend he hasn’t seen in a while. He knows what they mean when they flutter when your name pops up when you’re calling him, when an interviewer tries to catch him out by bringing you up in another interview that you don’t need to be mentioned in.

Eren knows that coming here was worth the confusion, and the nerves, and the fact that this will be a headline when it gets out. EREN YEAGER GOES TO VISIT HIS BEST FRIEND…BUT ARE THEY MORE? Or worse, NETIZENS HAVE PROOF THAT A.O.T EREN IS DATING HIS BEST FRIEND Y/N…

He doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s why he feels scared. For you to be scandalised by an article online that caught him out in his feelings, he knew it wasn’t fair. Eren might be too afraid to say he’s in love, and too afraid to find out if you feel it too, if all those years of confused relations and flirtations meant anything, but he’d risk those feelings and the headlines if it meant being able to spend one more day with you.

Eren's got a week and a half with you. Something’s gotta give within this week. He doesn’t want to go back to filming with more regrets than he came here with, and so for now, he’ll just have to swallow those butterflies back down when they pour out of his mouth.

Right now, he can’t afford to be caught out. It has to be said on his own terms, when the timing is perfect. It has to be perfect, because it’s what you deserve. It has to be perfect, because if it isn’t, then Eren doesn’t think it will be worth it.

Losing you to a headline and a butterfly is out of the question. You hop off him and shrug on a jumper from out of your wardrobe. If you noticed his unease, then you didn’t mention it. He almost wants to cry, wants the confusion to go away for the night so he can enjoy being here.

Fuck.

For now, he thinks as he follows you with an arm around your shoulders out of your bedroom and towards the kitchen to meet the others, he’ll just have to fake it 'til he makes it. Just like always. Put on a face, put on a show, until it all feels worth the spillage. He can’t let the butterflies escape yet.

It has to be perfect, and until then, he’ll just have to be patient, even if it breaks his heart more by pretending.

[maxislvt]

pls tell us more about omega!wanda x beta!nat x alpha!reader 👁👁

warnings: amab!reader (no gendered terms), smut, omegaverse, sub!reader, dom! WandaNat, pegging, voyeurism, collaring, mating claims, breeding kinks, spanking, threesomes

i said I was gonna sleep but that's nawt happening so uhhh here!

okay so similar dynamic to my usual omega!wanda fics. You're rather soft and sappy for an alpha. since you face a lot of bullying for it, you hide your identity at work and don't really pursue a relationship because you've always been told that no omega would want an alpha like you.

for this I'd like to think Wanda and Natasha are a match made in hell. they're not dating each other yet. they have feelings for each other but both of them are really dominant and lack interest in being submissive so they're hesitant to commit

They both have their eyes on you before they even figure out you're an alpha. at first it's like a game for them. the first one to take you out on a date gets to do all the nasty and inappropriate things they want to you and tease the other for not getting you first!!

however that goes out the window really fast because they realize you're really bashful and it's just too cute to keep from the other. also you tend to turn and run the second you think you'll be alone with one of them for even a second.

Wanda is subtle. the way she touches you seems so innocent and kind that you almost ignore how close she is to your crotch. You usually don't catch on to her innuendos until much later into the conversation. She never forces you to stay but something is always compelling you to stay put and listen

Natasha on the other hand is very bold and doesn't hold back. sometimes you're literally pinned down and forced to deal with all her perverted comments. you couldn't run away even if you wanted to. her intentions are very explicit and there's little room for what she wants to do with you

it only gets worse when they find out you are an alpha. mainly because their nasty little fantasies can get really explicit now but also because they know exactly how to tease you. they never push too hard, but just enough to get you worked up

you don't know that they know but after falling victim to their coordinated attempts at courting, you assumed that they guessed incorrectly about what rank you are. in an attempt to have some peace, you make this grand reveal to them and they're so unphased. in fact, they're more focused on how good your scent is more than anything.

one thing leads to another and suddenly you're sandwiched between the two of them and fucked out of your mind. they don't even let you put up another act about how alphas should behave and keep you spoiled in bed all day until you stop pouting and promise to give them a fair chance

they do make an effort to take you on nice dates and buy you actual courting gifts. they're really expensive and have a lot of thought put into them. some of them are literally just sex toys they wanna use on you at a later date. like the first thing they buy you is a vibrator and lube. the hope was that you'd be curious but too inexperienced to do it on your own and come running to them

they're very horny romantics. so their claim bites on are either layered on top of each other to make a heart or symmetrical somewhere on your body. the choice is yours but I think it'd be the same way on all three of you.

anyways, you guys are a very practical pack I feel. the three of you would love to have everything be matching and constantly do cuddle piles but it doesn't always get to happen. sometimes it's as simple as one of you is on a mission and can't do the cuddle pile. other times it's the simple fact that Wanda likes to wear pajama pants, you only sleep in shorts, and nat typically goes without pants when sleeping.

and I think that practically carries over into sex as well. in my mind Wanda and Nat are a complementary pair. Wanda is soft and Natasha is strict. That isn't to say they can't come together and spoil or tease you though.

if it's just you and nat or you and Wanda, the whole scene was likely recorded and there's a million photos of how you looked.

Wanda prefers to get you really deep into subspace and wait until you're practically leaking through your underwear before stripping you naked and filling your ass to the brim. she'll let you cum as much as you want so long as you're good and let her have fun too

Natasha likes to tease. She'll edge you for hours before she even thinks about pegging you. Nat is not above spanking you just for fun! After she's marked up your skin and left you a sticky mess, she'll spank your ass bright red until you have a hand print

80% of the time they top you together is to spoil you. it doesn't have to be a special event, but they like making you feel good together and watching you make a mess of yourself. they'll stretch your ass out with both of their straps and go for as long as they can.

The other 20% is always a punishment and not even Wanda's pampering nature can save you. If you break their rules, then you have to suffer the consequences. Since Natasha is a sadist and spanks you all the time, they get a little more creative. They fuck each other right in front of you and make you edge yourself with a simple fleshlight.

The only time they let your top is if you're in a rut and that doesn't mean you're not subbing. most of the time, you're breeding Wanda while Natasha is controlling your hips and keeping you in check via a collar.

Natasha likes to watch while you and Wanda fuck out your cycles. Maybe she'll ride you during rut if she's really horny and wants to be knotted but she prefers to watch you try and act all dominant and tough sometimes.

also their straps are enchanted and they love fucking your face. Natasha likes actually fucking your throat but Wanda just thinks you look absolutely adorable on your knees and desperate to please her.

the aftercare is always wonderful. they follow a similar routine even if they're not fucking you together because it's tailored to what they think you need most after sex. cuddles and a bath are mandatory, even if Wanda has to drag you to the bathroom with her magic. if they've tipped you together, they prefer you just go right into taking a nap but they will let you watch TV or play a videogame if they weren't too rough.

honestly they seem like the type to not even consider sex if they know you haven't eaten anything, but they still keep a few in the mini fridge just in case you need something.

[polyklok]

When they’re down bad

Dethklok and their massive, throbbing crush. You can interpret this as and xReader, xOC, or even towards each other idk I don’t make the rules.

Nathan Explosion

Unlike the other members, Nathan has had experience with actual girlfriends (rather than just flings) before, and so can identify the difference between attraction and actual romantic interest pretty quickly.

But he’s still a total idiot about it. He basically hasn’t developed his flirting style since high school; he hasn’t needed to. He’s famous! So, he just sorta forces himself into their attention all the time. He purposely bumps into them, asks to borrow random things, always stands or sits next to them. He just wants to constantly be around them.

He tries to start conversations too but, my god, he’s so awkward! They’ll be sitting in silence together and he just shouts “MAN, THIS WEATHER IS CRAZY.” While it’s been perfectly sunny for three days straight. BTW, he’s always yelling around his crush. It’s partly because he’s nervous, partly because he’s trying to assert his “dominance” (he doesn’t have any)

He tries to drop not-so-subtle hints about his feelings. Like, there will be a couple in public, clearly on a very romantic, cheesy date and he’ll be like “THAT LOOKS FUN, WE SHOULD DO THAT SOMETIME” to his crush. Or if there’s a kissing scene in a movie, he squeezes their hand or something. Just, out of the blue.

In general, he’s pretty obvious and is sort of a disaster, but it’s cute and oddly charming. 7/10 because I suddenly decided I’m ranking them

Pickles The Drummer

If Nathan was a disaster, he’s the end of the world

He desperately tries to play himself up in front of his crush, specifically trying to seem more classy and sophisticated, which are two things Pickles is not. He’s the kind of guy to try to be suave and lean up against a wall and then immediately eat shit, falling to the floor.

He likes to talk around his crush but never to his crush, ya’know? Like, if they are in a room, he’ll speak all loudly to a group about how cool he is and all the things he’s done. But in a one-on-one convo, he’s literally shaking and sweating and nodding along like his brain isn’t in full panic mode (it is). Because he physically can stand how gorgeous his crush is and how obsessed he is with them.

He’ll probably try to drink more than usual to calm his nerves, but it really makes it worse. Cause now he’s a bumbling idiot who’s only talking about how ‘damn pretty’ they are and threatening to get into a fight with the bartender.

Eventually, he does calm down. And he gets to be his natural, funny and relaxed self around them. His heart still flutters, but the anxiety doesn’t consume him like it used to and he has a real conversation with his crush and it feels like he’s falling in love all over again.

Like in most situations, Pickles is kinda a wreck. But he needs time and the right amount of booze to be a pretty great guy, 6/10

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Sound the fucking alarms because this Swedish whore has himself a crush. Seriously though, the realization hits him like a fucking truck. He’s just like, wow this person is hot and I like spending time with them and they have a great personality and they’re funny and they make me feel nice and HOLY FUCK

He gets so pissed. Like, genuine anger at himself and them and everyone else in the world because something is wrong. He can’t bring himself to take it out on them, so he just always scoffs and ignores them for weeks on end. But the whole time, they’re in his head. He feels all warm and fuzzy in more places than just his dick for once.

Eventually, he stops being just a baby and gives them a weird, half-assed apology his ego is still fragile, ok?! And starts flirting. Hard. Constantly praising their body and making unsubtle sexual innuendos, it’s the only thing he really knows how to do in this situation. God forbid they giggle or flirt back, because his face is gonna turn completely red and he’ll need to excuse himself for a 10-minute freak out.

Skwisgaar just feels so many strong emotions, and these new, affectionate ones are just kicking his ass. There’s a good chance that he gives up because he just can’t handle it. But, he might just persist and slowly open up and let them in.

He’s pretty much a noob for these sorts of things. He’s a sex god, not a Prince Charming. 3/10

Toki Wartooth

Toki is actually more passive when it comes to romantic feelings than you would expect; he can accept potential love interests as friends very easily. But once someone has embedded themselves in his brain as more than just a groupie or a good friend, my man is COMPLETELY ride or die

Doesn’t make any effort to hide it either. He gets all giggly around them, biting his lip, twirling his hair, kicking his feet. He’s seriously smitten and everyone can tell, including the crush. He won’t deny it either, “Of course I’s likes them! Who wouldn’ts?”

His wooing methods are completely cheesy as well. Like, leaving a large, lovey-dovey gift basket on their doorstep or writing awful poetry for them completely in Norwegian. In fact, he’s pretty much always getting them little gifts and they’re all genuine, even the stereotypical ones.

He also gets very, very touchy. Greeting them with hugs and holding hands and even little surprise kisses. He knows that they’re not technically dating, but he still sees them as his one and only, so he already begins cementing himself as their partner.

Although, if they don’t show any interest back, he’ll stop after a week or so simply because he gets bored easily. I’m not gonna sit her and act like he doesn’t have the patience of a four-year-old.

Man goes all in with his flirting but it fizzes out very quickly. 7/10

William Murderface

I was wrong about Pickles; THIS is the ultimate disaster. Poor guy really can’t take it, he’s so flustered and anxious and a bit furious at the whole situation. William is so fueled by hatred and hostility that he can’t fathom the fact that he genuinely likes someone and craves their love. For him, it feels like he’s gonna die without them and yet he refuses to go within a foot of them.

Most of the time, he just stares at them with his angry look on his face. If they ask what’s wrong, he just mumbles and walks away. But really, he gets so excited that they talked to him, even though he immediately fucked it up.

Maybe with some time, he can find a slightly better way to deal with his intense feelings. He mostly just needs to learn to relax and have some confidence, but those are both things he has never been good at. But, if he does manage do to so and have a conversation with them…it’s still pretty bad. He’ll stutter and stumble, walking on eggshells because he knows that he has a tendency to say stupid shit.

Even if the relationship doesn’t ever go anywhere, there’s a very good chance he’ll be this nervous around them for months, possibly years. If his crush manages to get the message and starts encouraging his ‘advances’, it’ll still be a while until he’s anything less than a wreck.

Someone please help Murderface, he’s dying out here. 2/10

Btw I wrote this last night and am posting it without much proofreading so sorry if it’s awful

[applesaucesims]

After work, Niall took his car a bit further than usual, following Franklin to his home that he shared with Laura. He needed somebody to talk to about his doubts, and Franklin was the one who understood the topic the most of all.

Once inside, Franklin led his friend to a sitting room and lit the fireplace. Niall's eyes immediately jumped to a bottle of whisky that had been placed on a small table in just the right position to have a relaxing night of drinking on the couch. Although he had been trying to stay away from alcohol, Franklin seemed to be making a good point that he could just have a sip or two. Surely that could not cause any issues.

After a number of whisky glasses that Niall had lost count of quite early on, he slowly opened up to Franklin about the worries he had about Louis. He told him about the dream that his son had told him about, and how that had released feelings of doubt he had been pushing away rather than working on them.

As he listened to Franklin's words of encouragement, Niall felt his head getting heavier and the world around him seemed to be getting blurrier by the minute. Suddenly, his body seemed to act on autopilot, and he pulled his friend in for a kiss, just as he was about to turn away from him.

Thankfully, though, Franklin pushed him away immediately. They might have been together like that in the past, but that was all it was - the past. Neither of them actually still had any feelings for the other, and they had moved on a long time ago.

Bringing some distance between them, Niall scooted away in embarrassment. In doing so, his eyes fell to the photograph of Franklin's partner, Maxim, whom he had actually introduced him to, and then, just above, another photograph of himself with Emma, his wife. What was he even doing here? Was it really that easy for him to slip into old habits and make it worse at that? What would she say if she saw him like this now?

[TRANSCRIPT]

Franklin: "So, may I offer you a drink? Let me just light the fireplace."

Niall: "Erm... what sort of drink?"

Franklin: "You still like whisky?"

Niall: "Uhm... technically... but I haven't had one in ages."

Franklin: "Really? I can't imagine."

Niall: "I swear! I haven't had alcohol since... some time after Louis was born?"

Franklin: "Maybe that's why you're so stressed out."

Niall: "I mean... I can't say it isn't."

Franklin: "Right, surely one glass won't kill you. To take the edge off, you know?"

Niall: "Right."

...

Franklin: "So, you're worried because of a dream?"

Niall: "You're gonna tell me it doesn't mean anything, aren't you?"

Franklin: "Maybe not, but either way... That's got nothin' to do with you in the end, does it?"

Niall: *sighs* "I don't know. I guess I just hate to face that part of myself."

Franklin: "You're never gonna find peace that way, Niall."

Niall: "I know. And I love Emma so much, but thinking about this makes me feel like a fraud." *hic*

Franklin: "That's ridiculous. You just like both, and most of all you like her. It's that simple."

Niall: "Easy *hic* for you to say."

Franklin: *laughs* "How are you this drunk already? I need to catch up! Let me just top up my glass and- Mh!"

Franklin: "Niall, stop! What the fuck are you doing!?"

Niall: "I- I don't know."

Franklin: "That's enough drinking for you then."

Niall: "I'm so sorry! I don't know what's come over me!"

Franklin: "You really need to start properly working through this shit. I'll help you if you need me to, but I'm not here for you to fool around with for some distraction."

Niall: "I know, I don't even want that from you. You know this."

Niall: "I'm so stupid! I never should have come here. I tell you, this thing is causing nothing but trouble in my life."

Franklin: "Look, it's fine. Just figure yourself out. Your damned sexual preferences are not the issue here."

Niall: "Right. I'll- I'll try my best. Thanks for the talk."

[simplysedusa]

Hii so idk if you've done this already but what are your hc on the boy's relationship between each other?

I actually haven't made a post on this. To be honest, there was this clip of their losing animation from Multiversus that I haven't stopped thinking about and I was eventually gonna post my thoughts on that, or just post my general takes on who I think the Rowdyruff Boys are (and grow up to be). But, this will scratch that itch momentarily (and help me better characterize them and flesh them out).

Once again, just give me a minute to collect and organize my thoughts lmao.

The Rowdyruff Boys:

There's the typical, rather popular headcanon that Boomer's the "odd one out" of the three because he's not as evil as his brothers, and how he's often teased and bullied by Brick and Butch. But that's baloney, Brick teases both of his brothers, it's just that Boomer's reactions are more entertaining. (Also, Boomer can be as bad as his brothers, at times, he might be worse...)

And it's not like Brick gets off scot free either, both Boomer and Butch know how to dish it back when needed, Butch is just less likely to on his own and will just simply laugh at Brick's antics.

Butch is the glue of the group, the foundation, the rock. He's the one they feel the most comfortable venting to and are able to express themselves with freely (lmao I mean look at their options, who else would Brick and Boomer turn to, EACH OTHER?!). I find him to be the most emotionally intelligent out of the three, in contrast to Buttercup, who's probably the least emotionally intelligent out of her sisters (but she's still better than Butch, she's a superhero after all). Without him, Brick and Boomer would've spent most of their childhood youth fighting each other instead of the girls.

Brick's the direction, the determination, the focus. While he may not be as uptight as his counterpart, he's unfortunately the brother that has to keep them on track.

Boomer, on the other hand, is the relaxation, the relief, the destress-er of sorts. Even if they tease him, they find Boomer to have a rather calming presence that's needed for the group. He's usually the one to suggest alternatives to some of the crazy antics of his brothers.

"Let's get the girls!"

"And BOMB THEIR HOUSE!"

"–but I wanna go to the arcade..."

"So you can lose again?"

"You'll never beat my high score, Boom."

"OH YEAH?!

And sure enough, they're at the arcade.

While the general dynamic between the three isn't exactly toxic, they come to realize the dysfunction amongst themselves as they befriend the girls. The Powerpuff Girls are all so different from one another and have their own internal conflicts within the group but still manage to be each other's best friends, and witnessing that starts causing the boys to be mindful of who they are as brothers.

Brick and Boomer:

The two argued often in their younger years. While Brick may not be/was not as stern of a leader as Blossom, it still drives him up the wall that Boomer tends to be so carefree.

They've only ever actually fought each other three times max. Even though they're the two brothers to most likely fight each other, they're not that serious compared to fights Boomer had to intervene in when Brick and Butch went at it.

A part of Brick feels bad for how hard he was on Boomer, but the other part of Brick is...well, Brick.

Brick will occasionally extend an olive branch, and tries to be nice to Boomer in a very subtle, low-key way.

But unfortunately, Boomer plays dumb to mess with him as payback.

I'm going to the mall...you coming?

I don't have any money.

You don't need any.

If the girls catch us shoplifting again–

We're not–I'm—ugh, ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?

*rolls his eyes despite the smirk on his face and the fact that he's completely aware of what Brick's trying to do*

They're the type of brothers who could marathon some cheesy sitcom together in silence (or as silent as possible for Boomer, he'll make a few funny remarks about the show throughout and get a good chuckle out of Brick) and be completely okay with that, even though everyone else (sans Butch) thinks otherwise.

While Brick and Boomer might have their moments, if you're not Butch (or maybe the Puffs), never disrespect one in front of the other, unless you're in need of a black eye and a broken rib.

Boomer and Butch

When left alone, both of these two assume they're the one with the braincell, but in actuality, it's with Brick (not that he always uses it, he just likes to hold it sometimes).

While Brick and Boomer can sit in silence, Boomer and Butch are headbanging and playing air guitar to whatever music they're blasting out of the boombox they definitely didn't steal.

And that's on a peaceful day. Mojo and HIM had another custody battle over the three, and HIM suggested they split the boys and take turns. Mojo assumed he got the better end of the deal when HIM gave him Boomer and Butch. His entire lair was destroyed in half an hour. They agree to never split the boys up after that day.

These two definitely talk shit about Brick behind his back whenever Brick's pushing their buttons.

Boomer's the instigator and idea man in their pranking misadventures. And Butch is down for anything if he's bored. Their "pranks" can be surprisingly more cruel without Brick (which explains why Brick wakes up to a whole pack of chewed chewing gum in his hair one morning, luckily Ms. Keane has a knack for removing sticky stuff out of hair).

Much like their respective counterparts, they're the night party, club partaking, fun-having, social duo in crime. The only difference is Brick tends to join the two on their night out more often than Blossom will join her sisters (and their nights may or may not end in some sort of illegal activity).

Boomer and Butch's fights/arguments tend to be over rather petty, material things (i.e lost sports game bets, eating the last cookie, 'borrowing' one's clothes or belongings, etc.) but Brick's great at squashing it while it's small.

Without Brick, the two would have been too distracted to fight the girls back in the day.

These two were forced to share a room during their school years thanks to Brick's constant demand of having his own room. Neither of the two seem to particularly mind.

Drama kings! Whenever one of the two has a juicy bit of gossip, the other's the first to know. Brick doesn't usually care unless it's something BIG.

Brick and Butch

I used to be subscribed to the notion that Butch was Brick's yes man. I was wrong, Butch is Brick's (and occasionally also Boomer's) HYPE man.

Brick doesn't usually mind, but sometimes Butch can go a little overboard and now Brick has to be the impulse control and that's no fun when Brick just wanted to kick back and chill.

If you see these two in an alley or hallway and they're suspiciously quiet, RUN THE OTHER WAY. They're not necessarily after you but whatever the fuck they're up to, it's BIG and you don't wanna be caught in the crossfire.

When these two are rarely at odds, it lasts for days. It starts with verbal insults, until eventually a day or two later, one (usually Butch) gives in to the intrusive thoughts of beating the other into a pulp. Boomer has to damn near taze the two to pull them off one another, and pray to whoever's listening that Townsville's still standing so the girls don't get invovled. By the end of the day, the two act as if it never happened.

While Boomer might be Brick's favorite punching bag, Butch is more prone to Brick's verbal attacks (which may or may not have to do with the fact that Butch's specialty is force field generation).

Without Boomer, the two would have been too busy committing grand scale arson to fight the girls when they were younger.

Somehow, they're both the brother to encourage the other to leave their comfort zone. Brick's a loner by choice, while Butch usually sticks to Brick and Boomer like glue.

[digenerate-trash]

I desire yan!Whitney, him beating the shit out of people for just looking at what's his.

I would expect nothing less to be honest with you. you know that one scene in math where one kid looks at you in math and Whitney goes nuts??? I made it worse

(this is gonna veer off into violence hope that's cool. also gonna trigger tagging this for blood/yan antics/gn pc/Whitney shenanigans.)

Whitney is always a menace. He has just been getting steadily worse. Usually, he's a big fan of whoring you out when he can for cash or approval from his less-than-stellar friends, but even that's come to a rather strange halt. He's more interested in spending time with you alone now. He even started to ditch school taking you with him. 

You’re actually starting to worry about him. He's barely the same guy you met at the start of the year. He's still an asshole sure. But he is /different/. More people are starting to avoid you. And they whisper Whitney's name when you walk by, even when you're alone. People don't dare touch you or even talk to you anymore. Even some of the teachers have started ignoring you. You can't shake the feeling that this is all by design somehow. 

It all comes to a head in the middle of math, however. River gets called away to attend to something, but you're not sure what, You weren't listening as you lean into Whitney's shoulder. He plays with your hair gently and zones out. He's not in the mood for chaos today. He likes the feeling of you relaxed against him.

When you look around the room just for a brief moment you tense. A boy is staring at the two of you. This seems to jolt Whitney back from his daydream and he immediately spots the boy. His face contorts into a scowl as his grip on your hair tightens. 

“Why are you staring at them?” *his voice is loud though he doesn't yell. His gaze is locked on the boy and the class goes silent as they look over at Whitney. Then their poor classmate as Whitney waits for an answer. 

Everyone knows there's no correct response. He's doomed. He's been caught /looking/ at something that's Whitney’s.

The boy stutters a bit. But no comprehensible words come out. Whitney pushes you back into your own seat and nods to one of his friends before he charges the poor student. It’s not long before the boy starts to cry out for help. At first, people are laughing or cheering. It’s fun when it’s not happening to them, but soon The screams and cracks of Whitney's fist against the boy only get worse as time goes on. Whitney's friend guards the door making sure no one leaves. The cheers die out the class watches as Whitney goes far beyond a regular beating. 

You can see it, Whitney is still enraged. He's biting down on his own lip so hard that its started to bleed. His fist is dusted with bruises and his victim's blood. His forehead is covered in sweat as he finally pulls back. The classroom is still silent apart from the haggard breathing of the boy. whitney straightens out his shirt and looks down at the boy before spitting on him before returning to you. He pulls you up by the arm dragging you out of the classroom. No one tries to stop him as he leaves. 

You don’t know what to say to him as you're pulled to the front gates of the school. Should you say anything? Should you have stopped him? Could you have stopped him? Whitney's grip tightens on your wrist as he takes you down into the alleys near the school. He shoves you up against the wall before leaning down and kissing you deeply. 

You can taste the blood in his mouth he seems to want you too as he holds you still against the alley wall. When he pulls back your panting, Whitney finally smirks. It's that cocky playful look that you haven't seen in weeks. He seems to have finally relaxed a bit as he brushes his hair out of his face with one hand the other still holding you still. 

“We should probably skip the rest of the day. I doubt anyone is going to rat on me, but I don't feel like answering any questions right now.” Whitney says before he rubs his bloody knuckles off on his shirt, It wasn't clean before but it looks worse smeared with blood. He tilts your head up slightly grinning “But it's worth it” he promises. “No one is going to ever look at you again.”

[one-vivid-judgment]

Hello! Stubborn patients hcs time or taking care of the boys (Sawashiro, Takabe, Ebina and Tomi) when they're sick 🤒 Thank you as always! 💕

Sawashiro AND Tomi??? Oh, hell yeah, you bet I'm gonna do it 🤧

Jo Sawashiro

Will try to hide the fact that he is sick to the very end. Even when he’s coughing up a storm, having sneezing fits every other hour, stuffy nose and teary-eyed. You will have to physically drag him to bed and force him to take a nap so he feels better. He does not feel better. In fact, he feels even worse: heavy-boned and dizzy, his throat dry, his ears itching.

He will try to insist he doesn’t need any medicine and that it’ll all go away on its own. Please, drill it through his skull that he needs it. If he sees that you are genuinely worried about his health (and, let’s be honest, he’s getting old; you are right to be worrying), he will stop and reconsider. Then, he’ll finally give in and take his medicine.

A home-cooked, warm meal is not something he’s had often. Usually, he just resorted to convenience store food or go to restaurants with Arakawa and/or his subordinates. His eating habits have gotten a lot better since he met you, honestly. Even now that he is sick and can barely taste it, he knows your food is delicious. Better than anything he could ever cook, really. If he smiles around a spoonful of chicken broth, it’s his own business.

Mamoru Takabe

Committed chairman is still committed even when he is sick. No turning off his phone, if his boys call for help, he’s going to them still. Which sadly means even the lightest of colds can easily get way worse in a matter of hours because he won’t stop pushing himself.

When he inevitably ends up having to stay in bed, he will still try to sneak some work in. You’ll have to scold him and take his phone and his laptop away so he can sleep it off. Oh, he’ll try to protest and argue that he can do some lighter tasks and paperwork, but he doesn’t sound convincing at all when a coughing fit interrupts his rant.

Once he’s gotten over the initial frustration of feeling ‘useless’ (yes, he may be sort of a workaholic when put like that), he will give the most earnest apology you’ve ever heard. He really appreciates everything you do for him—he would kiss you and thank you properly, but it’s probably not the best idea considering he is sick. Oh well, on the to-do list it goes.

Masataka Ebina

Accepts being sick surprisingly easy, considering who he is. If he doesn’t feel good, he won’t have any problems leaving the paperwork on the table and going to bed himself. He is 100% gonna call you (and maybe exaggerate how sick he actually is just a tiny bit) to take care of him though. Expect reciprocity when you are the one sick in bed, of course. You’re no less than royalty for him.

Even if he has a very sore throat, he’ll make sure to compliment your food. It’s not just mindless flattery nor is he trying to butter you up so you cook more often, it’s just how he feels, and he’ll be damned if he keeps quiet. Fuck the sore throat.

He knows it’s kind of irresponsible to kiss you when he’s sick; the virus could get you too if he does. But like... just a tiny kiss couldn’t hurt, right? It’s the least he can do to thank you for your service the whole time—honestly, he would rather get you under the covers and give you a ‘proper thanks’, but he might throw up if he pushes himself too hard. So, just a kiss will have to do. For now.

Eric Tomizawa

He is kind of a big baby when he gets sick. He can’t pretend he’s not happy to get out of work for a day or two, but also, not working means no money coming in, and considering he’s barely scrapping by as is... Yeah, it’s not ideal. You manage to soothe his anxieties away for the most part though, and that’s when he’s back to being a drama queen.

He’ll take the medicine no problem, but you bet he is going to complain all the time about how bitter it is. Why can’t adult medicine taste sweet like kids’ medicine, huh? The warm soup is very good though—he is a man of simple tastes, some chicken noodle soup and you’ll have him pretty much purring.

He also has no problem with sleeping in. Considering he hates getting out of bed in the morning, every excuse that allows him to laze around in bed for longer that usual is welcome. He’ll even try to convince you to cuddle with him. “Just for a bit,” he says, “you won’t get sick if it’s only for a bit!” he says. He makes a very convincing case.

[kaleidosouls]

random text post of day #

been watching creepcast more or less since the first/second episode and after latest i keep wanting to talk to ppl abt my thoughts and im tired of trying to engage with other youtube comments / i dont wanna keep bothering my spouse with this plus id want to talk to other ppl who are viewers but dhkdhfk im gonna rant behind the cut; tw animal death/violence, child abuse

gonna rant assuming readers is also a viewer cause too tired to explain, sorry. this is just “stuff id want to chat with fellow fans of the poscast but i dont have friends who watch it, and the youtube comments suck for the most part and id rather be turned inside out than login to reddit”, like i did end up using rhe comment section way toomuch already, jm tired and its like 3% normal ppl and 97% dicks and assholes with bully disorder

like it was a big enlightening to just properly label things last night at last and process the feelings and situation. this is jsut a podcast with isaiah bullying his cohost hunter (“as a joke”) and the fans at large are people who enjoying bullying snd find it funny, and try to bully commenters who disrupt their “fun”, trting to discret and demean them as friendless parasocial losers for not playing along the theater of mockery and treating it as socially acceptable.

like its one thing to tease between friends and make dark jokes, its another thing to repeatedly, insistently, laugh at your friend for being traumatized as a child by violent animal death? like. its like i get that initially he was just really baffled at the event like haha oh my god did that happened thats so fucked up (which is annoyingly normie in its own way like yeah dude, none of us have control over fucked up shit happening to us as children, like he makes such a spectacle about it like its this earth shattering thing). like its tragic and a big deal but like wrt trauma its usually safe to be on the level that the person with the trauma is setting, if theyre talkinf about it really intensely it makes sense to match up to that tone or lower. instead hunter is trting to move on while isaiah is just obsessed fascinated with it like its fiction almsot. idk just . uggghhhhhhh

i could kust make a collage fo commwnts that made me like lose hope for humanity each time but i dontw anna dwell on annoying bullshit and commit it more to memory. like people are jusr… like there is some dark humor inherent to like calljng your mom as an adult on your show to have her back you up only for it to turn out it was way worse, but like the way isaiah kept laughing about it for so long.. like hecan laugh and joke like that at his Own traumas if he has them. just. idk. tgisn podcast like just. ugh its making me irritated tot hink abt explaining whats happening in it to people like go watch it with adblock on, im gonnaskip explainjng more and jsut say some feelings to the void that id rather like scream at someone about. i was gonna say scream at assholes in the commmebts but i actually want their internet connection destroted and for them to be forced to dismantle their phones and pcs and set them on fire so they can never speak again.

isaiah is coming off like such a monster. like, “””as a joke””” acting like an asshole is still acting like an asshole, i dont care anymore that hes actually probably rly well intentioned and ncie bc he jsut needs to stop being fucking rancid and a shitty cohost and friend. an honestly i cant even believe the “hes actually nice” shit anymore. starting tj feel hes been an ashsole all along and just pretends to be a good guy. like he takes too much joy out of excessive bullying to be a good person. like genuine just bullying, with no consequences. ppl are like “oh hunters fine with it bc hes putting up with it” like as if every single person alive Never has to put up and laugh along shit that bothers them. specially on what is essentially their Job. hunter barely appears comfortable and he does not dish back nearly as viciously- and we jnow hes capable of rly dark humor and banter too, on his own channel tje vibe is completely different but he has none or that edge with isaiah. while isaiah is literally like i wnan dox you please fans m*lest hunter in the meet and greet, i want this guy dead; isaiah literlaly makea such a huge deal every time hunter had a disagreeing opinion irs clear hes started to just not weight in when he doesnt like something, itd be one thing to make these super intense mean comments if hunter did them back but every time isaiah would not take or tolerate it when it was towards himself,; and honestly all of the stuff before had been like accumulating to be pretty bad but rhe latest ep with the dog story eallyi guess like crosses a line of like, this is just genuinely wrong and i dont care how mcuh the comments say its ‘parasocial’to have basic human empathy! youre watchint a guy talk abt having the family dog shot in the back of the head in front of him by his grandfather, only to then find out on air feom his mother the shooting had been intentional and his grandfatehr was actuallt a monster instead of a disabled man traumatizinf you by accident. like the ironic tragedy of him calling his mom to back him up on that ‘its not a big deal’ only for her to contradict him is funny on a cosmic sense, but like it is iust. not that funny dude. like isaiah kept bursting into laughter just thinking about it. oh is it too absurd for you to take seriously? do yoh just not give a fuck about how tour friend might feel? dude didnt even fucking ask. he didnt eveb show a sliver of care , sympathy empathy anything. he literally says “ill never let you live this down”. LIVE WHAT DOWN???? having his grandfather intentionally shoot his dog in front of him as a 7 year old child? like what the actual fuck is wrong with him??!! have like even a shred of respect for your cohost, like its all ‘as a joke’ but if you consistently ‘as a joke’ act like a cruel manipulative bullying person, im just gonna choose to believe youre actually just that person using “humor” as a shield to excuse your behavior.

like wtf. i was actually a fan of isaiahs chanel first and i didnt rly vibe with hunter that much and i wouldnt have expected, bc i woildnt enjoy watching an asshole, that isaiah wouldve turned out to be such a self centered horrible person. like its all funny TO HIM, i dont get the sense its enjoyable at all to be in that room when isaiah is getting all giddy and having a kick out of treating hunter like a punching back. yeah he probably doesnt mean to be actually hurtful but it doesnt look like the thought even crosses his satan spawn eyes that someone could have a different reaction than the one he was intends there to be. like i dont know hunter and idk if id even like him if i talked to him in person but it sucks qnr is horrible to watch anyone be treated that way consistently. like i wish creepcaet juet actually ended or isaiah learned how to not be shitty. i dont care if its not in his nature to not be awful he should just try to pretend to be a decent person for once. like i feel bad for hunter becuase it comes across like hes more stuck in the podcast than enjoying it and i empathise with struggling to leave “friends” who treat you like shit. and its like work too, i have no idea how much of a monetary and reputation loss it would be to leave. ppl are like “theyre adults they surely worked within themselves” yeah bc no adult ever has struggled or been stuck in a situation thats hard to get out of. honestly like yeah this is just a shitty podcast with shitty fans who just enjoy watching a bigger guy get bullied for no reason because they are probably mostly awful bullies in their own lives too hurting the people around them and i dont need to convern myself over what people who get a kick out of hurting others think.

i guess obligatory like. insane and unwarranted comment to the hosts bc no one is readingnthis let alone either of them but its like what if they read it and like felt x or y way in reaction. maube writing this will give me some semblance of peace

@ hunter: you seem cool and youre a really talented artist and naturally funny on camera/audio. i relate to having memories from childhood warped like that, and im sure/i would imagine that was the story told because it was far from the actual worst one. i think you deserve to respect yourself more, im sure being bullied is no skin of your back, im fat and ive been derided bc of it my whole life, from since i was 70kg and im 100kg now. its smth you get used to and it feels like not a big deal but on a fundamental level i thibk everyone deserves to respect themselves at least enough to not let friends treat you like shit to this extent. like i know banter and teasing is normal, butlike. its so excessive dude. it comes across like youre just stuck there and idk your financials and maybe you coulr be, ive heard of stories like that wrt youtube projects, and subversive animations arent loved by youtube’s revenue. heavy condolences if this turns out to be the case and hoping things can change. im sure it would be hard to quit anyway bc ppl would make such a big deal abt it. but if you are free to leave at anytime and you have freedom and are safe with isaiah,thank god thats great, get the FUCK out of there or get isaiah to stop treatiny you like shit cause you deserve better. if somehow you iust love beint berated like that i guess like each to his own too, i just hope youre doing ok juwt oj the basis of beint a fellow human being who appears to be in a legitimately shitty situation. if you are ajd im insane, thats fine too, id rather be insane than someone be suffering.

sigh

@ isaiah: i really liked your youtube vids. you seemed like a decent enougu guy. ofc like i dont actualyl Know either of tou, injust am human and relating on basic emotional levels based on the behavior you choose to display online. man. what the hell is wrong with you? if i expected you to actually read this i would be more polite but i dont expect a single soul to read this, really. like, man… i want to believe theres capacity of good and kindness in every person so surely you must have it, and if you do.. why are you acting like that. is being mean That funny? i love dark humor but ive never taken joy out of actively bullying people so i cant really relate but like, surely you can find otuer ways to have fun with your friend? im sure you think its all fine bc hunter wont throw a tantrum like you do but some people are actually way more inwards with their emotions and like you coild try to be a little more interested in how someone else feels when you bully them. “as a joke”. like maybe its not as funny as you think itnis, or they migut not be enjoying it like you do. i know its hard to stop when you want to talk but please try to stop interrupting hunter repeatedly after you clewrly mustve heard him adter the call delay? honestly, i thought you were a fine guy but now its like maybe youre just on a power trip, havint someone hostage to validate your opinions on horror and to bully for fun who wont talk back to you in a way thats actually challenging. since you love the sounf of your own voice so much you could do a solo podcast, you dont need hunter to be there as a punching bag in order to make a podcast. if you lvoe and care about hunter as a friend sincerely and iust have been totally by accident actint like a major piece of shit, id like want to hope for you to improve as a person in how you act and id want to believe thats very possible, but episode after episode its just.. like i dont give a shit abt dark mean humor i dont care if you call us in the audience pieces of shit or freaks or whatever, we’re not there talking to you, but hunter Is hearing what youre saying and is actually there.like id say for a christian you are extremely cruel but that is just ao on brand for open christians to behave that way that i honestly wanted to believe you would subvert that expectation, but it seems i was wrong. you know like i dont get this being mean as a joke thinf and neber have, i would say if hunter died tomorrow would you not have rather spent time with him in a positive way where he was loved instead of berated, but youd most likely “joke” that youre glad hes dead and that you didnt bully him enough. im not christian and i dont believe in heaven or hell but i know for you that youre most likely not seeing the pearly gates until you learn to pretend to be a good person to your friends. its probably not even smth you genuinely want to do or care to do but you could make that sacrifice of being nicer so the world is a better place while it has to have you here.

big sigh this isjsut hggggghhhhhh like a shame bc i love horror and i had enjoyed isaiahs youtube vids but , man this is such a disappointment. obviously i dont rly wana watch the podcast anymore butni like hunter reading and his voice and i would just hope for the best for him going forward, and the insane in my brain is like i gotta check it out maybe isaiah apologizes and acts like normal and nice without being rancid for once. even tho i know that wont be true bc it hasnt been for weeks since i started watching, i guess ill tune in for the next and if he foesnt shape up i’ll quit it. find a diff horror podcast or smth. makes me sad imagining hunter stuck in there. kike idk if hes even a good person like hes edgy on his own channel too but in general like he comes across like isaiah used to , lile someone who just seems fine and i havent heard anything saying theres smth horribly wrong with him. just on a basic human level it sucks to see people struggle and suffer. speciallt when its situations i relate and have been to. its been at least (uhh math…) damn 10 years or smth since an event that really stuck with me, where i was kust telling soem school friend abt my life at home bc we were just talking, and i relayed one of the ways my parents would beat me and how i was so scary, and she burst our cackling in my face. its a feeling that took a long time to stop having it sting in my head. she wasnt intending to laugh At me, or bc she thought beating children was genuinely good or funny, but to her the situation was so absurd it was funny. i can understand that on a detached level like if it wasnt real there would be some comedy timing to it. but instead i iust felt like a joke. like i was stupid, like it was this really funny ass thing, and i tried to play along, and it was like the fear trauma and pain that resulted from those events was a joke too. like i was stupid for having my life warped ny the abuse and it affecting me, because it was just so absurd and funny! like damn, i shouldve been abused as a child in a less absurd and funny way so people wouldnt mock me to my face about it. i guess i deserve it and its natural to be treated this way. until i met someoje who actually respected and gave a fuck about me and wouldnt make me feel that way i thoight it was normal and like i was fine with it too. i used to get bullied communally by my entire classroom for half of middle school and i thought those people were called friends too because id never been treated any better by anyone.

hgggghj i think its helped a bit to get it off my chest, maybe. man this sucks. i wish people would iust be nicer to eachother. life is so short, and some people cant even have the courtesy to not be tormented by people they call friends

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Heyy, it’s been a couple of days since I’ve posted, even longer since I’ve been consistent. I would say I’ve been busy but that would be a lie because I haven’t actually had less time than usual to post. Truth is some stuff’s gone down, partially on this very platform, and it’s made it very hard to post. If you don’t want to read a kind of venty angsty personal post the TL;DR is I’ll get back to posting semi-regularly once I’ve dealt with some stuff but I promise it has nothing to do with the people who interact with my blog. You’re the highlight of my day even if it’s “just” a like and I’m sorry for the recent dip in posts.

I don’t wanna go into detail because surprise! I don’t actually like going out of my way to create drama with people and one person involved has essentially harassed me on every platform we share. That’s why I haven’t spoken about this before, and I’m only saying this now because I realized I’ve forgotten to respond to several reblogs and I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m ignoring them or abandoning this blog or anything. Basically, I feel bad about leaving without explanation and also I kind of want to vent? So without getting too specific: A close friendship recently died a slow, torturous death over several months, slowly getting worse until the other person threw me in the trash like I meant nothing. Then he came back two weeks later and tried to guilt trip me for being upset at him for how he treated me.

In that two week period some stuff went down on Tumblr here and well… there’s no way to sugarcoat this, so I’ll be blunt: it’s made me terrified to post anything on here. Every time I want to post something I feel sick to my stomach with dread because what if it’ll happen again? Or, alternatively, what if I’m next? And it sucks because I’m not even 100% sure it was aimed at me, but it lines up a little too perfectly and maybe I’m paranoid and it’s all on me but maybe it’s not and if that’s the case… I’d rather be wrong, for once, but the problem is that there’s no way to know for certain. I’ve been stewing in this weird, complicated mishmash of emotions and confusion and I honestly have no idea how to deal with it. I thought time would help, as it usually does, but clearly this is a special case.

Before anyone says it, yes. I’m aware that this is a subtweet, which is not a cool or nice thing to do unless it’s a joke between friends. That’s another thing that made me not want to post this. I hate being mean to people who aren’t mean to me first, and as I said I have no solid proof from a trustworthy source without ulterior motives that this had anything to do with me (which is what I usually use as my standard for when to start hitting back) but I just can’t seem to let it go. Every time I have an AU I wanna share I get this creeping, uncomfortable, clawing feeling crawling underneath my skin and tightening in my chest and I hate it. I hate it so much I cannot even describe it properly.

It makes me wanna scrape my skin off with sandpaper and scrub myself clean from the inside out with an iron sponge. I wanna claw my heart out of my chest and shake it until it stops feeling like this and the only comfort here is that I’ve found some fancy new descriptions to use in my writing. Speaking of: I’ll post on AO3 again soon, hopefully today or tomorrow, but just like with my blog I’m so drained of energy and I feel so nauseous about posting I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it again, which sucks because I love posting on all these platforms! It shouldn’t feel like a chore but it does now and I don’t know if there’s anything that’ll ever make it fully go away. It’s become more manageable, hence why I’m posting this, so I’m clinging to the hope it’ll all ebb away at some point. Until then though my posting schedule is gonna be even more inconsistent than it usually is, so I’m very sorry about that. Hope you all have a wonderful day and I’m sorry about the venty post I’ve subjected you to 😅

[twilightmalachite]

2×2 - Children on the Streets 3

Author: Akira

Characters: Yuuta, Hinata, Shinobu, Nagisa

Translator: Mika Enstars

"You’ve always had this tendency, but it’s gotten a lot worse lately, you know! Coddling Yuuta-kun so much won’t really help him—"

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Spring

Location: Chinese Restaurant

A couple minutes later. Inside the Chinese restaurant…

Hinata: —Actually, it appears the whole downtown area’s been in a recession lately.

Yuuta: Ah, I had the feeling it might’ve been.

We had been able to earn donations through doing street performances while we had lived on the street, but despite being supposedly better than we had been back then, we weren’t able to make much.

…Though, I guess it might’ve been easier to earn sympathy while we were clearly young children, so I don’t really know.

Shinobu: I dunno how much street performances typically earn, but it did feel like everyone might’ve had their purse strings tightened.

Nagisa: …This Chinese restaurant’s sales seem to be slowing down too.

…Although that person you call “Master” doesn’t seem to be worried. Still, as a way to return the favor, we were attempting to raise sales by attracting customers.

…I thought to help out any way I could, since he’s allowing me to stay here.

Yuuta: I think that’s pretty great! Ran-senpai, unlike his scary appearance, is really a good person, huh~, even though the world’s full of ingrates.

Hinata: Eh, are you telling that to yourself? Are you criticizing yourself using the mirror that is your Onii-chan?

Yuuta: What is he talking about? Do you know, Shinobu-kun?

Shinobu: Wha… N-No, no idea what he’s talking about, at all! ♪

Yuuta: Right? Man, Aniki’s always saying things that don’t make sense! ♪

Hinata: You can’t give in to him, Shinobu-kun! You’ve got a mega-ingrate right in front of your very eyes! If you don’t give my little brother a good talking-to, he’s just gonna get more and more arrogant, you know?!

Shinobu: Hinata-kun, I-I feel it should be you giving him the talking-to, though~?

You’ve always had this tendency, but it’s gotten a lot worse lately, you know! Coddling Yuuta-kun so much won’t really help him—

Yuuta: —Stop talking about irrelevant things. So basically, the problem is the entire downtown area is in recession, with the restaurant’s sales dropping?

Hinata: You could say that’s one of the problems… It’s pretty complicated.

Nagisa: …By the way, I believe the reason this downtown area is in recession is due to the center of the area’s idol industry shifting from Yumenosaki to ES.

…The downtown area relies on money spent by those who come to see Yumenosaki’s lives, and there are no other well-known tourist attractions in this area.

…But, nowadays, people who come to see a live will head to ES, located in a relatively far away area, rather than Yumenosaki.

…Of course, Yumenosaki lives are still held as usual, but if made to choose for the same price between a performance by an inexperienced student and a professional, the latter would be chosen.

Shinobu: You’re surprisingly knowledgeable about the economic situation surrounding Yumenosaki, despite being from a different school, Ran-senpai.

Nagisa: …Ibara’s always talking about these things, even if I’m not listening. But, I remember.

Shinobu: Ooh, talk about absorbing your surroundings!

Nagisa: …I have a good memory. Fufu, although I can’t beat Hiyori when it comes to memory alone.

…Anyways, it appears the public safety of the place has been declining, perhaps due to the recession causing a gradual desolation of the downtown area.

It appears that some young people have been causing quite a lot of trouble—color gangs, I believe they call them, or some sort of delinquents?

Hinata: That’s right. It seems that this restaurant has caught the attention of these ruffians for who knows why, and are causing harassment in all sorts of ways~?

Yuuta: H-Harassment? I haven’t been able to see Master since I came—Could it be that he’s been injured?

Hinata: Nah, I think Master’s doing some health exercises right now. There aren’t any customers, so he’s taking a breather.

Yuuta: Still always going at his own pace all too often, I see…

Well I mean, if these are just delinquents and not anything like the yakuza, Master would be able to just kick ‘em away with kung fu, wouldn’t he? Y’know, like “ka-pow~”?

Shinobu: Unfortunately, it’s not possible to simply solve problems with violence like that under modern Japanese law. The one who had gotten physical first would lose the court case.

Yuuta: But wouldn’t it count as self-defense if it’s in response to harassment?

Nagisa: …No, even if the violence is justified, it would probably be treated as a case of excessive defense.

Hinata: So far, it seems the harassment has been relatively trivial. Actually, since we’ve been staying here, we haven’t even seen anyone who could be delinquents around.

The restaurant’s clean and hasn’t been graffitied or anything either, has it?

Yuuta: You’re right… Well, I doubt somebody like Master would just say “I’m being harassed!” if there wasn’t any truth to it, so I’m sure there’s some people at least resembling delinquents causing trouble out there.

Hinata: Yup. So that’s why when we do our work here, we make sure to emphasize in our performance that we’re filming.

I don’t think delinquents want their faces caught on camera, so I doubt they’ll approach us during those times.

Yuuta: I see. So you claim that rather than cheating in order to win the “showdown”, you’re putting your own body on the line to protect Master’s restaurant?

Jurors, what do you think?

Hinata: Huh, was this some sort of trial?

Shinobu: Hehe, well, anyhow, I think I understand you guys’ situation.

I feel cases like these are typically left to the police though. Have you made a report yet?

Hinata: Of course we have. But so far, they’ve only had a small phone interview with us, and nothing else~… Apparently there’s been similar incidents happening all over the downtown area lately.

Shinobu: So it’s like the police can’t spare the labor to stick around the restaurant 24/7, since they have you guys to prevent any problems, huh?

Hinata: Yeah, basically. There’s only so many policemen out there, so they might not even have the option.

So I don’t think we’re being brushed off because the restaurant’s run by some (presumed) dubious foreigner or anything like that.

It’s kiiiind of a let down, but I feel we might have come downtown at a bad time…

Truthfully, since public safety seems to be real bad right now, you and Yuuta-kun should also stay at the restaurant where it’s safe.

Things might seem okay right now, but if you’re sleeping on the street, you might get attacked.

It wouldn't be called a “Experience Living On The Streets” anymore, but from the program’s perspective, the safety of the participants is probably more important.

Maybe the producers won’t have any issue with it.

Yuuta: … …

[ ☆ ]

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[donutsupremacy]

Adopt a good boy

•Razor's ending

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Warnings

Razor struggling to speak as fancy as he could, which isn't a lot but we love him

You're gonna feel the fluff tonight

Razor is shy

Doggo and kitties

A/N: Understandable choice. I would pick best wolf too.

I noticed Razor does actually have pretty normal grammar, a few mistakes here and there sure, but other than that he can actually speak rather normally. Hence, why I didn't make him go 'Razor want kiss' 'Razor bark woof woof' every 10 seconds.

If you're wondering why I included him when he had no physical canine/feline traits, it's because in this AU, one of guz biological parents would be a pure blood human and the other, a half-canine.

P.s. I don't know if Varka has an official design, even if he does, who knows if it'll change in the games. So, I just made him like an elder cause why not lol

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They weren't exactly happy with your choice, but had no heart to continue and compete for your heart.

Razor was a foreign student from Wolvendom, he was full of innocence and purity. Though, he may have trouble with his grammar and was still getting accustomed to everything, that didn't stop everyone from coddling him like a baby. Neither one of them had to heart to fight with him over you.

"Thank you, for choosing me." Razor spoke in his usual raspy voice, his cheeks flushing red as you smiled at him. "Razor... will make sure (Name) will not regret choosing Razor."

"There's no need, Razor. I'll be happy with you, no matter what." You reassured, your smile, as usual, sending his heart racing a thousand miles per hour.

For your Valentine's date, it was held at an adoption centre. According to the gray haired boy, his parents had passed away relatively early, but was taken in by his parent's close friends.

It was a group of elderly men, who had also adopted a young white haired boy named 'Bennett', Razor's adoptive brother.

Instead of a building, it was more of a sanctuary. The building was a little small, but had a large backyard with playful critters running around energetically. When you first entered the building, you were immediately tackled by a large husky.

You screamed out of surprise at first, only to enter a laughing fit when the canine began licking your face, the tongue finding it's way to the most ticklish spot on your face.

"Ah! No, stop!" Razor quickly knelt down next to you, gently prying the canine off your chest. "Bad dog! No good pushing people down!"

"Ahaha... It's fine, Razor, I don't mind." You reassured, wiping the slimy and thick saliva off your cheek. It's disgusting, but you've honestly went through much worse than dogs licking you.

The gray haired boy rushed towards the nearby counter, taking a small pack of tissues and handing them over to you before sitting next to you on the floor. "I am sorry... This is Andrius. Andrius is mascot of centre." He introduced, an arm hung loosely around the canine's back, holding him in place without hurting him.

"Nice to meet you, Andrius." You cooed, scratching the back of his ears.

Andrius panted happily, his fluffy tail swaying left and right. He barked, opting to lick your hand if he couldn't do so to your face. "Andrius... likes to be alone. Also not full of energy. First time seeing Andrius... very excited."

"I think Andrius likes me more than you do." You joked, unaware of the jealous mumbling that came from Razor as you pampered the dog.

"Oh, is that a new voice with Razor I hear?" Avoice spoke, causing you to flinch. Andrius barked, slipping out from Razor's arms and trotting over towards an elderly man smiling fondly at the two of you.

You quickly got up, straightening your attire as Razor slowly stood up next to you with a small smile. "Good evening, sir. I'm (Full Name), Razor's date." You blurted out, causing the boy to stare at you with widened eyes and flushed cheeks.

"Oh, there's no need to be so shy, Razor. And there's no need to be so formal around me. I'm Varka, the manager of the adoption centre. It's such a pleasure to finally meet you, Razor has been rambling non-stop about you." Varka chuckled, earning a quiet and embarrassed mumble from the younger male.

Your face grew warm, wondering what Razor had said about you, let alone rambling about you. You looked over at Razor who nervously fiddled with the collar of his hoodie, before flipping the hood over his head and shyly looking away from you.

"I won't bother you young ones on your date, the adoption centre's closed and the others are resting, no one will bother you two... Maybe Bennett will, but I think he might be playing with the critters right now." Varka said.

With a whistle from the elderly man, the husky barked before trotting off into a hallway. "Off you two go now, and take care of my boy, (Name). If either of you need me, i'll be in the office."

"Th-Thank you, Lupical Varka..." Razor stammered out, Varka's laughter echoing in the hallway with the husky's barking.

You stifled a chuckle, grabbing Razor's hand gently. The sudden warmth enveloping his palm caused him to flinch, his shoulders tensing up and the a faint blush spreading across his face.

"You said there were puppies and kittens I could play with, right? Lead the way." You lightly tugged on his hand, urging him to move.

His muscles loosened, nodding with a small smile, your enthusiasm and eagerness causing his heart to melt. You were just as adorable as the newborn puppies and kittens.

Razor intertwined your fingers together, leading you down a different hallway. Passing by several door, the sound of high pitched barking and meowing grew louder as you approached the door at the end of the hallway.

"Raz— I... want you to meet new lupicals. Lupicals are wolf family in Wolvendom. Very young and like to play. Also like to bite, but not very strong. No need worry." Razor grabbed the doorknob, twisting it and pushing the door open while stepping aside for you to see what was inside the room.

You certainly didn't expect a young white haired boy covered from head to toe in puppies and kittens.

"...Hi Razor!" The young boy greeted, unfazed by dull teeth sinking into his skin or tiny claws scratching at his hair. The gray haired boy jolted in shock before rushing over to carefully lift the newborns away, you followed suit, gently prying off the ones that were attached to his back.

Your arms and chest were now covered in colourful fur, but you couldn't resist when they started letting out high pitched barks and meows, their large neady eyes reflecting your face.

Your heart melted, bringing them closer to your face, resulted in a pepper of kisses and licks. You let out a laugh as more and more began to surround you, pawing at your shoes and nuzzling themselves against you.

"Bennett not hurt? You need to be more careful." Razor sighed, placing the puppies in his arms down that soon scampered toward you, their tails wagging in excitement.

"Nah, i'm alright! Is that (Name)? Nice to meet'cha! I'm Bennett, Razor's brother!" He greeted, extending a hand towards you. You placed them all down before accepting the handshake, now half of them decided to climb up Bennett's legs and biting his shoes.

"Nice to meet you too... Ah, how did you know who I was?" You questioned, now trying to pry the ones clawing at his legs.

"Razor actually talks a lot about you! He told me how pretty you are, how funny and smart you are and—" Before Bennett could continue and ramble about Razor, the said male placed a puppy on his head.

The gray haired boy's face flushed bright red, trying to distract you by shoving a (Puppy/Kitten) at your face. "R-Razor can take care of new Lupical. Bennett need rest."

Despite it clearly being an excuse to have Bennett leave the two of you alone, the innocent white haired boy fell for it. "Alright! If you need anything, let me know, you know where to find me, Raze!"

Placing the puppy on his head down, the white haired boy waved goodbye at you, only to walk straight into the wall, missing the door next to him. You winced, but Bennett only rubbed his head, seemingly unfazed before actually leaving through the door.

You waved the boy goodbye, still surrounded by the critters wanting to play with you. "...So, 'Raze', what kind of things did you 'ramble' on about me?" You teased, sitting down on the ground.

In a blink of an eye, not only several puppies and kittens crawl onto your lap, several more began climbing your back.

You didn't really feel much pain, their claws weren't as sharp as you thought, but your back was certainly not enjoying it. A blushing Razor came to your aid, prying them off your back. Holding one of the critters and sitting next you, petting it's head. "Y-You are very nice, I like to talk about you, a-a lot..."

"That's sweet of you Razor." You cooed, leaning your head on his shoulder affectionately. You felt his shoulder tense, but then a hand moving up from your back to caress your head.

As you gazed around the room, admiring the cute decorations, you noticed over a little puppy sitting on a large bed.

It was a gray puppy with (Colour) eyes, laying down while staring at the wall. Some of the puppies trotted over, nudging at it in an attempt to get it to play with them. Eventually, they gave up and either rested on the same bed or went to play with you.

"Razor... Why is that little one sad?" You asked, pointing at the puppy.

"...That one? That one always sad... because no one want to keep it at home. Lupical very shy and easy to scare. Difficult to make bond with new parents, so Lupical always return..." Razor awnsered, gazing at the poor puppy with a sympathetic expression.

"I see..." You mumbled, following his gaze. After being adopted several times, only to return back into the shelter, you can't imagine how rejected the poor canine felt. All it needed was time and patience, before the special bond between the puppy and owner could take place.

You stood up, slowly approaching the puppy with several more playful ones trailing behind you. Razor, though confused, followed you as well. "Hi." You greeted softly, crouching down to the fearful puppy.

It scampered backwards, it's doe eyes staring at you with fear. Your heart stung at it's terrified whimpers, when all you wanted to do is greet it. "Please don't be afraid, I won't hurt you." You reassured, holding your hand out.

The puppies and kittens were still either pawing at your legs or off to sleep, meanwhile, Razor was standing behind you, watching with a small smile on his face.

He picked up the puppies and kittens behind you, quietly urging them to not disrupt you. Though he was partially failing, as he was distracted by you.

At first the little one wouldn't budge, just remain at the back, shaking like a leaf while staring at you. It felt like an entire decade had passed by before the puppy finally leaned foward slightly, a paw out while glacing between your hand and you.

You suppressed the urge to coo at it's shyness, you used to be like that once. It took a step foward, sticking it's nose out to sniff at your palm, it smelt like daffodils.

Eventually, it reached a paw out. It patted the air a few times, missing your hand by an inch, before it's small fluffy paw landed on the tips of your fingers. You leaned foward slightly, causing it to flinch, but not withdraw. "Nice to meet you." You greeted softly, enveloping it's tiny paw in your large warm palm.

It's trembling ceased, licking it's nose as it glanced between you and it's paw in your hand with the same shy stare. "I think... It likes you." Razor knelt next to you, reached out to pet the puppy on it's head.

"Really?... I like you too." You giggled, scratching it's chin. "It's sad that you're stuck here..." You mumbled in defeat, fighting the urge to ask Razor if you could take it back with you to the dorm and keep it.

The dorms normally don't allow pets in the buildings, save for emotional support animals. But that didn't stop several students from trying to smuggle their pets into the building.

Luckily, the resident assistant doesn't care much if a pet was snuck into their dorms. So as long as it doesn't cause a ruckus every night or go around destroying things, they allow pets to secretly stay.

Still, you weren't sure if you could keep it. You've been quite busy lately, receiving a mountain of assignments that never seem to end.

"...We adopt." Razor blurted out. You turn towards him with a brow raised, was he seriously suggesting something you wished to do but was against it?

"...I'd love to, but... I don't think I would have the time to care for it. I'm sure there'll be better owners for it." You sighed, deciding to accept the truth.

"Razor think we take turn caring Lupical." Razor suggested, his smile causing your heart to melt.

You hummed, it would be nice to have someone look after the puppy if you're busy. Plus, Razor works at the adoption centre, if he was busy too, he could as Bennett to look after it.

You bit your lip, conflicted of the idea. "I don't want to force you. You choose." The gray haired boy reassured in a gentle voice, holding your free hand as the other was being sniffed by the puppy.

"..." You looked at the puppy, who in turn returned it's shy gaze. It's big beady eyes, as though begging for you to accept his offer, pleading you to take care of it as it desperately needs someone as loving and caring as you.

"(Name)? S-Sorry, Razor say something bad? O-Or I make you angry? I don't mean it!"

"No." You replied, putting out both of your hands for the puppy, allowing it to climb into your hands. You cuddled the puppy close to your chest, turning around and walking towards an anxious Razor with a soft smile.

Leaning foward, you place a gentle kiss on his coarse lips. The male flinched, nearly pulling away from you, but remained as still as a statue until you finally pulled away. Although, he wished you didn't.

"I was just thinking how good of a father you're gonna be." You buried your blushing face into his chest, the sound of his heart beating rapidly in your ears.

"R-Razor?... Father?" He managed to utter out in shock, seeing the puppy now staring at him with a rather joyous expression. Slowly, his dumbfounded expression morphed into an affectionate one, pressing a kiss on your head. "...You and me... best parents ever."

"We certainly will be."

For the rest of the day, the two of you continued to play with the puppies and kittens. And once you got home, it was safe to say you had a new roommate, a rather fluffy one.

And a someone special now in your heart.

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A/N: I should really stop rushing these endings lmao

As a cat lover it hurts me to write a puppy adopting ending (Not that I hate dogs, I just love cats more lmao), but I thought a puppy would be far more fitting for Razor

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What if...

You chose someone else?

[avillicit]

literally begging you to tell me where you got your eggs and all the other birthing stuff 🥺

alright, feeling a bit better, so let's see if i can answer this! if you don't mind, i'm gonna go into a fair amount of detail, bc i get this question a lot in dms, and i'd like to have it somewhere public.

so, assuming you've never done birth play before, we need to talk about safety before getting into toy selection. a few points:

lube is PARAMOUNT. while, yes, applying too much can make it too easy for the toy to slide out of you, applying too little (or, gods forbid, not using ANY) can lead to discomfort, chafing, tearing, and bleeding--potentially putting your pussy out of commission for weeks. this is especially a concern for trans guys on testosterone, or anyone else with vaginal atrophy. i've torn before, and it suuuuucks.

do NOT use the same toy for vaginal and anal use. don't share toys with a partner, either, unless you put a condom on it.

eggs are not safe for anal use, nor is any other toy without a flared base or a retrieval cord.

if anything feels wrong, or off, you stop. if you bleed, you stop. if it hurts in a way that's too much for you, or isn't normal, you stop.

if you run into any issues, consult a gynecologist. (while i don't condone lying to your doctor, if you're truly too embarrassed to say exactly what you've been doing, saying you were using ben wa balls or a similar kegel... thingy, or simply having rough sex, is a bit less embarrassing than explaining a birth kink.)

good breeding sluts take care of themselves.

now that that's out of the way...

for birthing, i use two different kinds of toys--eggs and inflatables. you may end up preferring one over the other, or you might switch between them as the mood strikes, like me. they offer a pretty different experience, imo, so consider what you're looking for when choosing a toy. do you want to feel yourself stretching around a huge "head", or would you rather birth something smaller over and over? do you want to feel it close to your entrance, threatening to slip out with one wrong move, or would you rather it start nestled against your cervix, so you have to struggle to push it out? do you want to move around while you labor? do you want to feel the pain slowly growing worse and worse, from a barely-perceptible pressure to an all-encompassing ache that has you desperate to push?

...um. that sorta got away from me. anyway.

so, eggs! these are the eggs i use most often, from fantasticocks. with a bit of coaxing, you can get both in at once--i feel amazingly full with both stuffed inside me. they can also slip deep in the vaginal canal, which can make it a real struggle to birth them, perfect for when you want to push until you're exhausted. eggs will also allow you to move around pretty easily while you labor, as there's no pump dangling between your legs to worry about. i've gone for short walks with them inside me, and by the end, i'm usually fighting not to squat down and push them out in the street.

however, the fact that they aren't attached to anything can make emergency retrieval a bit difficult--once they're inside you, you have to push them out. i personally find that pretty hot at times, but for someone who's never done birth play before, it can be scary! in addition, i haven't really found an egg that will give me a satisfying stretch when it crowns. aside from my organotoys egg, which i've never actually managed to fit inside me, they're just a bit too small to be much of a challenge once they're crowning.

as for inflatables, this lovehoney plug is what i usually use. (i have a plug from the unfortunately-named utimi, similar to this, but the specific model i have appears to no longer be on their website.) the major benefit of an inflatable toy is that you can insert it when it's deflated and then pump it up until it's massive, allowing for a really nice stretch when you push it out. i cannot overstate how much i love the feeling of it, my cunt straining around the plug, just like it would strain around a real baby's head. i also like to pump it up niiiiice and slow, to simulate the feeling of contractions getting worse over time, when i'm in the mood for a longer labor.

there are a few drawbacks for the inflatable, though. for one thing, mine broke after a year, maybe two years of use? the balloon is all warped somehow, so it no longer provides a good stretch. i really need to order a new one. plus, while you can get it kinda deep due to the fact that the balloon portion lacks a flare at the base, it still feels shallower than my eggs, somehow? i dunno. and the fact that the pump is permanently attached makes just changing positions awkward, let alone actually moving around.

[crystalelemental]

Pokemon Team Analysis - Geeta

Alright, time for something that’s stupid and ill-advised.  I’m gonna talk about Geeta’s team.  Because general consensus is “It’s a bad fight,” and while I don’t disagree, I think that, like usual, it’s kind of just a blanket statement of “Too easy” rather than something discussed and dissected as to why it’s not working.

Also I think there are legitimately great aspects of her team that deserve some recognition as fairly solid game design for a challenge, that maybe people miss because overleveling is basically the norm.

I’ll start with the big thing: “Geeta should’ve led with Glimmora” is a bad take.  “But the Toxic Spikes!”  Are borderline irrelevant.  Players have no significant issues getting around them.  And to make matters substantially worse.  Glimmora is setup fodder.  It’s slow.  While it’s strong statistically, it’s weak with offensive types (Rock and Poison is a bad combo).  It would be exactly like Cynthia’s fight: super weak to setup.  Seriously, if you replay Platinum, try a Calm Mind sweeper with decent speed, and see how much of her team just drops.  Cynthia’s fight is not especially challenging when you can set up, it’s why they locked the boosting TMs to Battle Frontier in post-game.  To prevent you from doing that.

In the situation where Geeta leads Glimmora, Geeta is now significantly easier to beat.  Because Glimmora cannot threaten a good booster.  But you know what threatens a good booster?  Opportunist Espathra.

This is my favorite aspect of her fight.  Espathra is a fantastic lead for the game.  Because this isn’t competitive, it’s main game, where the AI won’t switch ever.  Where the goal of the AI now is to stop your tactics from just running train on them.  Opportunist copies your boosts, which means anything short of Swords Dance benefits her as well, and Espathra is notably fast.  And, most significantly, has Lumina Crash.  Anything not Dark-type gets hit with -2 special defense.  So if you’re boosting but you’re slower, you are guaranteed to be dead.  That’s...actually a good lead.  That’s a smart tactic for the main game.  It’s very Emerald-esque.  In Emerald, where boosting moves started to take off, nearly every major fight has something in their lead slot that can obliterate yours, be it paralysis, accuracy drops, Perish Song, or outright Toxic in Steven’s cast.  Espathra feels reminiscent of that, and is, in fact, a pretty strong lead because of it.  I just think maybe they could’ve done more than Reflect to bypass Sucker Punch strats, you know?  Like maybe ditch Quick Attack for Hypnosis or Confuse Ray.  Otherwise, great pick.

Glimmora’s the other I like, but more for thematic reasons.  I think it’s really interesting how much conversation has been generated around the simple fact that Geeta even has this thing.  For the story, I think it’s a great inclusion as her ace...I just also think Glimmora should’ve had a better speed stat, or Tera shifted into a completely different type.  Personally, I’d say Grass, because you know what blows up four of Grass-types weaknesses?  Rock.  Though admittedly, I think Glimmora needs to go Fire.  It’s got a solid defensive profile, and notably means Tera Blast can cut through Steel that otherwise hard walls its STAB combo.  I think the big problem is that it’s just a bit too slow to ever be threatening with its offenses, but its typing, including Tera, is just too defensively poor.  Poison would’ve been more valuable as a Tera type, with only two weaknesses, than Rock with like five.

The other aspect I do like is that Geeta’s team is representative of the region.  Espathra from the west, Gogoat from the east, Veluza from the lake, Avalugg from the mountain, Kingambit from the north, and Glimmora from the crater.  It’s a cool idea!  But also, when you know that?  You can...probably build a better team yourself.  And you may also notice, Geeta has a battle focus.  She’s bulky offense.  All of these options, barring Espathra, are fairly slow but also reasonably bulky.

AND BULK DOESN’T WORK

The player has natural advantage, thanks to EVs, and Pokemon is a game that works entirely on hitting each other with supereffective hits.  As coverage has expanded to insane degrees, virtually every offensive threat packs ideal coverage.  It is not had to clean sweep someone with one Pokemon when you have four fantastic coverage moves and a solid offense and speed stat.  Because of this, bulky offense cannot work in favor of the AI, which doesn’t switch out to avoid supereffective hits or leverage resistances.  Moreover, it especially doesn’t work when your heavy defenders are (1) Grass type, (2) Ice type, and (3) quad-weak to Fighting, one of the most common coverage options.

Geeta’s team is poorly balanced for the type of playstyle she’s trying to run, and we’re going to talk about better options from around the region to keep that focus, while also playing a lot better.

Espathra stays.  It’s a good lead.  I also keep Glimmora.  It’s a very cool ace.

From the east, instead of Gogoat, I would recommend Cyclizar.  How is this not considered an integral aspect of the region?  Cyclizar is such a hugely important thing.  Also, for bulky offense, the substitute is ideal.  While you could argue the idea of leading with Cyclizar, and I don’t strictly disagree, I think you’d want to program the AI to cheat a little.  If the foe boosts, switch to Espathra.  If they attack, switch to a resist.  It’s a pretty clean solution.

The lake is the most obvious solution.  Dondozo.  Curse setup, Liquidation, Earthquake, Avalanche.  Dondozo fits perfectly in bulky offense, but unlike Avalugg and Gogoat, Dondozo is blessed with a wonderful defensive typing in Water.  Dondozo would be perfect.

For the mountain, I’m going to say all of them are bad.  Most of what could fit is already a staple on someone else’s team, and I assume they were avoiding a lot of overlap.  So instead?  Gholdengo.  We need to talk about this: how in god’s name does she not have Gholdengo?  I don’t even like the thing, but a bulky offensive Pokemon with fantastic defensive typing and absurd offensive capabilities, backed by potential for either Nasty Plot or Recover?  That feels like the most obvious pick.  I feel like this has to happen.

Which means dropping Kingambit.  I don’t dislike Kingambit specifically, but I also feel like it’s pretty easy to take advantage of, especially when she doesn’t let it learn Sucker Punch.  It’s just so slow as to be laughable, and its typing isn’t super weakness-laden, but it’s not as powerful as Gholdengo’s.  If you wanted to keep Kingambit, then I’d probably say take Drifblim as the mountain Pokemon.  Make it more utility-focused, maybe taking Tailwind or something to buff the speed of Glimmora or something.  But instead, I’d say give her Lurantis with Contrary.  It has Leech Life, an ideal recovery tool.  Also give it Close Combat, since you think it’s so funny to take away Superpower as like the only useful thing it could have.  Bastards.

I think these shifts would largely improve on what she’s got going on.  But also, I think it doesn’t matter.  Again, bulky offense on AI doesn’t strictly work.  Especially without items.  It’s probably worth noting that the easiest BDSP fight, despite how hard that game cheats, is Bertha.  Because it is not hard to beat bulky offense.  I just...think a major problem is that Geeta’s approach effectively stands no chance of being particularly tough for a player.  Especially not in the era of forced EXP All and infinite coverage.  It’s just...not going to be difficult to stop her.  At all.  And I think we have to acknowledge that, with the way Pokemon is...that’s going to be the case forever.  They literally cannot design a challenging fight.  The system doesn’t allow it.  The reason older games felt harder is because it was super hard to keep on pace with the opponent’s level, so you were statistically under-prepared.  There’s a reason the only modern game to be considered difficult was Gen 7, which comprised entirely garbage mechanics to massively inflate enemy stats and force stupid 1v2 matchups.  It’s because they can’t design a fair fight that’s fun.  Because your solution is to just set levels way higher, and when you do that, the only solution is grinding, but they’ve spent four generations changing the gameplay flow to no longer require grinding, so they’re out of options.  At this point, only a major overhaul to the battle system would be successful.  And I’m...not sure they’ll know what to do with it.

[91vaults]

What sparked your last breakup and what has got you hung up about it?

Ok I'm sorry but this is gonna be long.

breakup comes literately out of nowhere, one of those "i cant be in a relationship right now" things, ( ill call her Dianne ) had a rather blaze attitude to mental health where you just have your coping mechanisms and power through, except (and this is just my perspective on what happened) the coping mechanisms stopped working and I think they freaked out and quote " I can't be the girlfriend you deserve" and "I have to let you go". things had always been very cruisy ...so it was odd that the second she felt she had to address some MH issues she just decided it was best to cut and run? that doesn't usually happen like that. Everyone I spoke too after the fact was as confused as I was...even the psychologist I was seeing at the time was like "wut?"

I said I would support them through it but no....and it was very much framed in terms of ME and what I needed...which was a bit of a mind fuck because for someone to do that and then just not listen when you try and say otherwise is...a well meaning but kind of cruel thing to do, Dianne had a habit of making assumptions and running with them...and it felt like they got this notion the night before that I was better off regardless of how I actually felt

They got really fixated on the idea of my "next girlfriend" and it would all be ok because the "next girlfriend" would retroactively fix everything. And then proceeded to tell me about what my next girlfriend should be like...superficial shit I didn't care about. It also deeply hurt me that she told me I should be with someone into fashion and tattoo's and such like me, which made me feel like it was going to be an issue with every person I dated and just completely ignores what I actually value in a partner.

Imagine your at the vet and your dog is getting put down and as the vet is putting in the needle they say "yeah look this dog isn't the right dog for you, your NEXT dog is gonna be great. You should get a terrier...you're more of a terrier person" like holy shit let me just deal with whats happening right now.

I know she's someone who moves on from things very quickly and I don't think they actually understand how people work sometimes (I also don't think she's been on the receiving end of a major breakup) , so she might have just assumed I'd be like her and be sad about for like 4 weeks and get straight on the apps.

I had no Idea things had gotten to that point...and they never spoke to me about ANYTHING. So instead of being able to work on things (eg: her anxiety about money and me liking to buy things..perhaps too much) they just decided nope, I don't want to hold you back from the things you like...referencing past conversations and I just couldn't tell her otherwise.

What was so awful she was trying to spare me from? supporting and compromising are normal things even if it doesn't work out. Nothing could have been worse than those months after..I'm still a bit fucked up inside and it might take a year from the date of breakup for me to get past that.

We met up when I felt the time was right, 5 months (possibly earlier) she apparently felt better and was back on the apps...had gone on a visit to her home country and was on the apps there...and that's ok I knew that would be the case, but I wouldn't be human if it didn't cut me a little. She hadn't been for years and I think it made her want to go back and work there...which I am happy for her, maybe I was holding her back in that way, but it also hurts. I'm too that things didn't always align. Before COVID she had intended to move to Melbourne, but circumstances changed and she bought s house here..seemed she wanted to settle down. I felt lucky, but also had often had thoughts of wanting to move there. Now she wants to move to where she grew up in and do all these cool things (like go to pride in taiwan later in the year) and I feel like there's too much to give up if I moved, especially because I feel I'm finally finding my feet, I'm happy here but this is a small city, if she leaves then do all the people I'd want to be with leave? is this not the place for them? will I never find somone? we all get those thoughts of "am I too scared to be bold"?

Don't get me wrong, I am someone who takes things very hard. a breakup would have been devastating either way but this is worse. If it had been because she felt there were irrevocable differences then I could understand that (and there may have been) if it was because she wanted to go back to where she grew up then I would understand that. if our plans didn't align then I would understand that. But this? it haunts me to think that it only happened because she decided on my behalf. Like I was an exotic bird that needed to be let out of its cage instead of a person. It haunts me to think that if I had said "Hey I deserve better than this lets at least talk about it" then at the very least I would have understood better

I am genuinely happy for the most part, and I genuinely don't want to get back on the apps. But true at the same time I'm a bit fucked up when it comes to the idea of dating because for part of me to not date is to exercise agency because I had it all stripped away.

and I guess that's the thing, its the way it happened and it's partially the why. It's essentially the absolute worst way to be broken up with.

They didn't do me a favor. The fact is sometimes stuff happens and it sucks. Sometimes it sucks more for one person than the other, and sometimes things suck for a little while before they get better (like dating, that can really fucking suck sometimes) and that's OK and to try and spin it and insist it's all gonna be better and great right after the fact just hurts. The previous relationship doesn't have to be worse for the next one to be good

We are still friends (I took a break and waited until the time was right to initiate contact) , and the friendship feels right and when we're together I'm not upset (maybe a little pang when they mention dating but that's normal) it's only when I'm alone and having the conversation in my head do I spiral a bit . They haven't really talked about or acknowledged anything...but that's a very Dianne thing to do.

But the good thing is once the time is right we can have that conversation, and once that hanging thread is delt with then I'll be able to shut the door on the matter (hopefully depending on how the convo goes).