#is this even a meme?

[firedragon1321]

The Semicolon Rant

I realized I fucking hate semicolons.

I hate them more than any other form of punctuation. The period, exclamation mark, and question mark are a classic trio. The comma? A little difficult, but still good. Dashes are great- even preferred. The ellipsis? He is my horribly neglected lover, reunited with me after ages of cringe kept him at bay. Even the normal old colon has its place. I like lists, and she likes lists. It works out.

Every piece of punctuation has a place. Every one. Except the goddamn semicolon.

It started with people sprinkling them in "for flavor" in bad fanfiction. Maybe to sound more serious or whatever whatever. Like, you are not writing the next great American novel. That is 1k Sora/Riku Kingdom Hearts smut. Over the years, my opinion on smut became more complex than this. But that is not the topic of this rant.

So semicolons. No-one uses them right, and even I do not understand them. They are the wannabe eldritch gods of punctuation. Stare them in the eye, and you lose all comprehension. All that matters is they're fancy. "Wow! A type of punctuation I didn't learn about in grade school!" Yeah, great, now stop putting them everywhere you useless lump of mud.

Semicolons do have a technical use. They're apparently used as substitute periods for linked ideas. I.e.- "I saw an owl; he was eating a mouse.". That is apparently correct grammar. But it burns my retinas like I'm two inches from the surface of the sun. I long for the cooling release of a period. It would be a ladder out of the absolute hell I have created just to show an example.

I couldn't even take notes for my editing class like a normal person. My notes say "fuck semicolons" in two distinct locations. Because I fucking hate them that much. Even when they should be used, even when it's okay, they wound me like tiny daggers. They probably do it with that little comma they got floating under them for funsies.

Semicolons are like that one guy who thinks he's at a fancy party all the time. You aren't hosting a fancy party. You catered from the local pizzeria. It's in your basement. Everyone else has a t-shirt and jeans. And then in comes the fucking semicolon like it's a formal affair.

He's got a fancy coat- freshly pressed- and nice clean pants. Maybe a top hat. It's a borderline tuxedo. He looks dashing. Perhaps too dashing. Everyone else feels disgustingly underdressed. And then you look closer and see the hand-stitches in the jacket. The snot on his handkerchief. One shoe is a little less polished than the other. Maybe- if you wait long enough- you'll spot the tag from Walmart still stuck to the back of his pants.

He's a liar. A pretender. A snake who wants legs. He thinks he's worth a million bucks, but he's barely worth a million pennies. He is nothing and he knows it. So he wraps it in layers of artificial luxury, hoping that will justify his miserable blink of existence. Most return to dust only after death. He is already dust.

And that's why I hate semicolons.

[koubu6841]

This is me right now. I can't sleep, but I can't wake up either. Dammit.

Reimu in bed.

References below

[prokopetz]

I think "they don't even have X" is one of those memes that's actually funnier in its original context than in anything that's been done with it subsequently. Like, in its original context, this is a joke about a man who has lived his entire adult life alone in a swamp cold-reading the atmosphere of a corporate workplace and deciding that appealing to the receptionist's sense of working-class solidarity is going to get him in the door, and it fucking works.

[carefulzombie]

gf fandom in 2016: if you so much as hint - even jokingly! - about the nature of ford and bill’s relationship being anything other than platonic (and even then you NEED to give a disclaimer that bill is manipulating him!) then you support abusive relationships

gf fandom in 2024:

[wizard-laundry]

QUICK REMINDER

In the US: threatening government officials is a felony under federal law (the president in particular is protected under 18 U.S.C. § 871). Even memes.

be careful with your jokes if they spill over to active officials.

[42-clocks]

[image ID: Bernie Sanders meme with a small aromantic flag captioned “I am once again asking for you to include aromantics in your pride art/posts/merch” End ID]

[whomst-call-ghonsbubsters]

[reactionimagesdaily]

[thatratgo]

I love how they blindly trust the MC

[dillyt]

[glorytoad]

I posted this on an aroace subreddit and what I loved is that everyone seemed to have their own interpretation of what it meant and how it applied to them.

[cannibalchicken]

[lochrogue]

blacked out and made this

[jaybee2000]

I must not watch election coverage. Election coverage is the mind-killer. Election coverage is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will cast my vote. I will permit the result to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the election coverage has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

[nooooough]