#is this because I am a bit biased and view him as my own father?

[damian-al-ghul-wayne]

Why does everyone want Richard to become their father.

I apologize, but I'm saying no for him. He already has too many obligations to attend to. . . (¬_¬”)

[olenvasynyt]

“It seems like you’ve decided to fall in with two people without their homes of their own as well.”

I really need to talk about this, and the fight Feyre and Lucien have in ACOFAS in general because Feyre is so wildly frustrating during this whole conversation, and I want to delve into it line by line.

So this is when Lucien arrives for the Winter Solstice.  Elain has left the room and the argument him and Feyre have begins with Feyre saying he should live in Velaris.

Chapter 18 of ACOFAS: “‘You could come live here, is all I’m saying,’ I pushed.  ‘Truly live here, stay in Velaris for longer than a few days at a time.  We could get you nicer quarters—‘ Lucien got to his feet.  ‘I don’t need your charity.’”

First issue that isn’t a huge deal but “nicer quarters”?  Not a home, just quarters, an allowance, a charity, as Lucien says here?

And it just keeps going downhill, because when he explains that he is getting along with Vassa and Jurian just fine, she is almost taken aback and shows a bit of jealousy.  Her biases are really starting to show as well as her lack of self-awareness.

I rose as well.  ‘But Jurian and Vassa’s is fine?’ ‘You’d be surprised to see how well the three of us get along.’ Friends, I realized.  They had somehow become his friends.  ‘So you would rather stay with them?’ ‘I’m not staying with them.  The manor is ours.’” ‘Interesting.’ His golden eye whirred.  ‘What is.’ Not feeling very festive at all, I said sharply, ‘That you now feel more comfortable with humans than with the High Fae.  If you ask me—' ‘I’m not.’ ‘It seems like you’ve decided to fall in with two people without their homes of their own as well.’”

She lashes out and basically says that the Night Court isn’t Lucien’s home.  

This part is so awful to me for multiple reasons. Now, there is the critique of Lucien having prejudices towards humans in ACOTAR.  That is probably the only critique I will accept, he was an ass in the first book; the way he talked about humans negatively impacted Feyre.  And this could be applied to Eyre’s side of this argument, Feyre could be like “huh you’re friends with humans now, that’s interesting.  You always shat on humans before.”

But I do not think this can be applied to this argument because 1. Feyre, after her change to High Fae, is more comfortable with Fae than with humans, we can see this in ACOMAF, she does not like eating human food, she is hyperaware of all of the differences between being fae and being human.

and 2. Feyre and Lucien have had a conversation about the human war in ACOWAR.  Lucien said he would have fought for the humans if he was alive during the War:

Chapter 3 of ACOWAR: “‘If you’d been alive for the War, would you have fought on their side?  Or fought for the humans?’ ‘I would have been a part of the human-Fae alliance.’ ‘Even if your father wasn’t?’ ‘Especially if my father wasn’t.’”

Maybe he has had some prejudices against humans before but he does explain he would fight for their freedom, he talks about how he disliked their alliance with Hybern.  I always viewed his comments on humans in the first book as him directing his anger and frustration with Feyre and not his idea of humans in general.  He did not like Feyre for killing Andras and he had very little hope when it came to the curse. And after Lucien sends Feyre to capture the Suriel and almost gets her killed, he feels guilty and is also like “Feyre…I thought you would be more mad at me for this” and she is like “nah I get it, I killed your friend.”

Chapter 18 of ACOTAR: “‘You can’t possibly forgive me that easily for sending you into danger.’ ‘No.  And part of me would like nothing more than to wallop you for your lack of warning about the Suriel.  But I understand: I am a human who killed your friend, who now lives in your house, and you have to deal with me.  I understand.’"

People shit on Lucien for that moment but this was when he finally realized who Feyre actually is.  He realizes his mistake in judging Feyre and apologizes.  And this is when their friendship starts to truly develop.  

"‘Tam told me that your first shot was to save the Suriel’s life.  Not your own.’ ‘It seemed like the right thing to do.’ The look he gave me was more contemplative than any he’d give me before.  ‘I know far too many High Fae and lesser faeries who wouldn’t have seen it that way—or bothered.’”

And 3. also he met Vassa, Jurian and Feyre’s father and other humans during his mission to find Vassa and an army.

So him having past prejudices towards humans should not and is not Feyre’s issue with him being friends with Vassa and Jurian.    Feyre does not bring that up to him or imply it in her inner dialogue.  It seems like her issue is Lucien found friends outside of the Night Court.

“Friends, I realized.  They had somehow become his friends.  ‘So you would rather stay with them?’”

She almost sounds like she is jealous or confused.  “You would rather stay with them and not with me and the IC?”  It’s almost like she’s thinking “why don’t you love the IC and the Night Court as much as I do?” which is so ironic to me and lacking any self-awareness! You should know why he doesn’t like going to the NC, Feyre. He explains it after this moment in the conversation. 

And I will get to that point later, I want to go in order because Feyre just keeps going downhill:

After Feyre implies that Lucien doesn’t have a home, Lucien then makes a boundary.  

“Lucien stared at me, long and hard.  ‘Happy Solstice to you, Feyre.’”

He is saying, “I am done with this conversation, I do not want to talk to you anymore, I am leaving.”  

“He turned toward the foyer, but I grabbed his arm to halt him.  The corded muscle of his forearm shirted beneath the fine silk of the sapphire jacket, but he made no move to shake me off.  ‘I didn’t mean that.  You have a home here.  If you want it.’”

And Feyre does try to apologize and correct herself because she knows she was wrong for basically implying he doesn’t have a home but she is cutting over this line Lucien drew.  You can tell Lucien does not like it when she grabs him and forces him to stop leaving.

He does not want to talk to her about this, and for good reason because when he is like “alright I will continue this conversation” and begins to explain to her the Band of Exiles, she interrupts him, dismisses him, makes fun of him.  

“Lucien studied the sitting room, the foyer beyond and the dining room on its other side.  ‘The Band of Exiles.’ ‘The what?’ ‘That’s what we call ourselves.  The Band of Exiles.’ ‘You have a name for yourselves.’  I fought my incredulous tone. He nodded.  ‘Jurian isn’t an exile.’ Vassa, yes.  Lucien, two times over now. ‘He can call himself whatever he likes.’ But I asked, ‘and what, exactly, does this Band of Exiles plan to do?  Host events?  Organize party planning committees?’”

Frustration 1 with her saying, “what is the band of exiles planning to do?  Organize party planning committees?” Two pages ago there was a whole conversation and inner dialogue about how there has been no governing in the southern human lands and that Vassa and Jurian have a vision for the future and want to change, they are planning to actually do something for the humans and the land you used to live in as a human.

“[Vassa and Jurian] both trying to lead the humans who occupied the sliver of land at the southernmost end of Prythian.  Left ungoverned for so long.  Far too long. “‘Mercifully, their vision for the future of the human territories is mostly aligned.’”

and frustration 2. He was trying to explain to you his genuine feelings and struggles!

“I made friends who have something in common with me, who appreciate me,” and she interrupts him and she makes fun of him for it!  It sucks!

The Band of Exiles is a stupid name, I love Lucien but I do cringe whenever I hear that name.  And they have always had this back-and-forth banter and crude jokes with each other, but this is a terrible moment to joke around because Lucien is trying to explain his feelings and his reasons, but she’s just being dismissive.

Also another point: her looking down at him for having a group name.  She also has a group name with her friends.  The Court of Dreams, the Inner Circle.  And those aren’t any less cheesy, y'all, I’m sorry, I said it. 🤷‍♀️

Another thing that is so goddamn frustrating to me is he is like “these are all the reasons why I don’t like being in the Night Court.”  1. He can’t stand to be in the same room as Elain, he is upset that she is avoiding him.  2. He doesn’t like getting charity from her and Rhys.  And 3. he also hates how Feyre and Rhys ruined his chance of going back to the Spring Court because of the way she used him to get revenge, and the way Rhys acted with Tamlin when he visits.

“‘I don’t have anywhere else to go.  You ruined any chance I have of going back to Spring.  Not to Tamlin, but to the court beyond his house.  Everyone either believes the lies you spun or they believe me complicit in your deceit.’  ‘I can’t stand to be in the same room as [Elain] for more than two minutes.  I can’t stand to be in this court and have your mate pay for the very clothes on my back…' ‘…Tamlin sent it to our manor yesterday.  My clothes.  My belongings.  All of it.’”

And Feyre acknowledges this.  But she doesn’t feel guilty despite seeing how upset it made Lucien, how it so negatively impacted him.

“‘But the blame for that behavior was not on Tamlin’s shoulders alone.  I’d created that rift.  Ripped it apart with my own two hands. I didn’t quite feel guilty enough to warrant apologizing for it.  Not yet.  Possibly not ever.”

She can still hold resentment towards Tamlin but why can’t she apologize for how it affects Lucien?  I really dislike Feyre and Rhys because of this, and regardless of this making them look inconsiderate and thoughtless, I think this makes her and Rhys look like bad rulers.  Lucien is like, "this affected me negatively, but it’s also going to affect you.  And probably Prythian.  This was a bad call on your part."

“‘Why?’ ‘Perhaps it had something to do with your mate’s visit the other day.’ ‘Rhys didn’t involve you in that.’ ‘He might as well have…your mate should have known better than to kick a downed male.’ ‘I can’t say I’m particularly sorry that he did.’ ‘You will need Tamlin as an ally before the dust has settled.  Tread carefully.’ “I didn’t want to think about it, consider it, today.  Any day.”

Feyre just dismisses it.  She does not want to consider what Lucien is saying.  

The one thing I will sort of applaud Feyre for is when she tells Elain that Lucien is a good male after he leaves.

“‘He brought you a present.’ ‘And that entitles him to my time, my affections?’ ‘No.  But he is a good male.’  Despite our harsh words.  Despite this Band of Exiles bullshit.  ‘He cares for you.’”

However, she is lashing out at Elain because she’s frustrated with the conversation she just had and is upset that she was in the wrong.  

“I know I wasn’t truly angry with her, not angry at anyone but myself, but I said, ‘You couldn’t say a single word to him?  A pleasant greeting?’”

Feyre is misdirecting because she does not want to think about her mistakes.

I have some issues with Elain, it’s very true that she doesn’t owe anything to Lucien just because she’s his mate, I think it would be better for her to stop avoiding Lucien and actually say her feelings.  But I’m talking about Feyre in this video, I can make a Lucien and Elain video later.

I don’t know, Feyre has really gone downhill for me after ACOWAR.  You can still like her but I know I’m not the only one who dislikes her now and Feyre’s mistakes and biases and the way she hurts people cannot be ignored.  

Idk what else to say besides Lucien. Deserves. Better.

[lullaebies]

What the differences between aegon&helaena in the book compare to what we got in the show, and why do you think that their show!portrayal isn't good? (Didn't read the books)

Let me start this ask by saying that I am a biased blog to ask this and while I try to be objective, I highly rec reading the book and forming your own opinion on the matter. I will list here what I think didn't work in the show, but this is only my opinion from my point of view. This will be a very long ask - apologies. warning as well for spoilers.

Let's start with Helaena because she's a lot easier to go over. The issues with Helaena imo is not that she's better written in the books, she isn't - she has little lines and moments there too, but the problems are as such: she is described as an entirely different person in the books, and while the show is supposed to elaborate on the characters they adapt because the books describes historical figure and hence doesn't have much characterization, the additions to Helaena's character are very shallow and aren't fleshed out at all.

Helaena is not a dreamer in the book, nor does she have some evident hyperfixation on bugs or any neurodivergent traits that we know of. Now these additions would be lovely in the right hands! They even are lovely now, but the neurodivergent rep is tropey (autism comes with superpower trope), and not well done because don't give her much personality beside it. The dreamer plot is nice but overtakes her entire character because practically 95% of her lines are prophecies. We do not see her reacting to any pivotal event in a way that remotely expresses an opinion except "I feel uncomfortable" or "I feel happy."

In the books, we are told she's an active mother, we are told she has had a seat on Aegon's war councils to advocate for peace, we are told she is liked by the smallfolk to some capacity and had a happy personality overall. We are also told she is a bit plumper which is worth mentioning in this section - because everything I just wrote are things that practically erased from the show. So, people are rightfully upset - the Helaena we were described, despite being ingrained in traditional feminine roles, was an active person with her own thoughts and life, and her relatable/more admirable characteristics were erased in favor the show!personality that isn't in accordance to the text and isn't fleshed out enough in order to have her matter to the wide audience. I went on rants before about how she has been made solely a victim and nothing more but I will not get into this here.

As for Aegon, the issue lies with framing, entirely reduced screentime and lack of exploration of young!Aegon in a sympathetic way, the way they actively did not write scenes for him that are positive and have seemingly taken out the cores of his arc and made them not matter.

Aegon II is not a good person in the books, either, do not mistake it. He is not any better of a husband or a person and for his part as a father we don't really know how he was with the kids. That being said, the show has decided to make his absolute worst caricature of him, while taking away any positive quality he could have had or any relatable point to him.

Sunfyre, his dragon, is a big thing for Aegon - he loves the dragon. His sigil is made after Sunfyre. We may not know how involved Aegon was in his children's lives, but we know he raged enough at their demise he wanted to burn Dragonstone to the ground. We also know that Aegon took up the crown in order to defend his family, which is something the show neglected to say. Sunfyre and Aegon's children are two things that in Ep9 appparently Aegon is willing to leave behind to go away on a ship to Essos. It's egregious how butchered he is.

In the books as a child, he didn't get along with the Strong boys - he certainly didn't bully Aemond even if there was rivalry there. In the books, he didn't start the fight at the last supper by sexually harrassing Baela, and in fact, he was the one who got into a fistfight with Jace over the dance with Helaena. This is not about a ship moment here - but the fact the choice was made to make him seem as the instigator in every turn is not only crazy but also extremely unempathetic to him. He has reasons to be angry, you can glean them off of the text - even if it's jealousy, that makes sense - but no, in the show he's just a cunt who is the manifestation of all evil. The fact that we consistently see him naked (as a child, too!!) to portray him as a deviant is unsubtle and has no decorum about it.

He is consistently shown to be the devil in his family despite also being very much a victim in his own circumstances and the hypocrisy does not jive with me. I will not comment on the choice to make him a full on rapist because frankly that is not beyond his character in the books, but for a show that wants people to be conflicted, it was a damn bad choice, especially as other horrible actions to the smallfolk are not nearly as demonized when other characters make them.

Basically, all empathy escaped the writers when they decided to write him, it seems. Most his empathetic lines seem to come from improv by Tom Glynn Carney. They simply chose the worst possible way to go with him, took away the parts of him that made him sort of likable (using this word generously) and left him with self-depreciation that makes him so passive that he has to have his ass dragged to the throne instead of Cole or Aemond convincing him. It's just very clear the writers do not like him, basically. He has his downfalls but he is still human - he still could've had a decent arc and understandable reasons to most of what he does in better hands.

So basically, these are my thoughts. Sorry for the length again, but you did get me on a day where I needed to vent LMAO. Thank you for the ask.

[royalarms]

➤ HEADCANON : RELATIONSHIPS .

i've been meaning to write up this headcanon for some time now ! i really wanted to dig into noctis's relationships , how i view each one individually , and how he views the people closest to him in his life . for the sake of general interaction outside of ship partners or biases , there will be no mention of romantic attraction here ( perhaps with the exception of lunafreya because they have an arranged marriage in canon , but i'll keep it limited ) .

starting off , i want to say that noctis is a very dynamic character and how he interacts with people strongly depends on how they interact with him ( which i think is true for most people , haha ) . however , i think noctis is very feeling and often acts in accordance with his emotions , or lack thereof , depending on the circumstance . all this to say , some things listed may seem contradictory , but let's remember that noctis is Just A Guy , feelings are fluid , and everything is dependent on everything else . i'm going to organize this in a list - like manner to keep things more simple . i'm also not going to include EVERY single character ( even tho i strongly wish to .. i might do a part 2 with some of the more side characters down the line ) .

note : some interactions may shift depending on a rp partners portrayal / canon divergencies / general opinions . this material is crafting from my own headcanons and opinions , but i am willing to plot in different directions .

tw : parental death !!! long post incoming !

REGIS LUCIS CAELUM : noctis has always admired his father , looking up to him for as long as he can remember . he remembers yearning for his attention , but ultimately feeling as though he came second to his father's kingly duties . despite it , he always loved him . regis would read or tell noctis bed time stories ( along with aulea , until her passing when he was eight years old ) until he was thirteen years old , when noctis waved him off in an effort to "grow up" , but secretly missed the time they'd spent together before bed each night . this is also when his insomnia first started to become apparent . i think regis desperately tried to make time for noctis , and is the one who taught noctis to fish in the pond behind the citadel . taught him to drive in the car manufactured specifically for him , taught him that truly living is the most important prospect in life , to take care of business , but also to take care of himself ( some lessons of which he certainly casted aside ) . still , regis let him get away with things and do things he normally would not due to his knowledge of his son's inevitable demise . he desperately wanted noctis to be able to live his life in a way that was meaningful and full of joy . noctis's dealings with expectation , societal pressure , and depression had other plans . noctis loved him , before and after his passing , and always will . despite this , there is always a shallow bit of resentment he holds for his father : that they did not spend enough time together , that he did not learn the lessons he needed to survive as king , that he felt scared and alone so often in the citadel with a father nowhere to be found . his childhood beneath regis was not perfect , and he often felt discarded despite regis's best efforts . perhaps it comes with the territory , noctis understands after accepting his duty as king , but it does not negate his feelings on the matter . he is also angry in general , that his father was taken from him before he could learn all that it is he wished to learn ( though , truthfully , he thinks to himself that there's nothing that could have prepared him for the way of the world and bahamut's plans ) . i also believe that during noctis's teenage years , he began to reject his father for his priorities and viewed regis letting noctis get away with certain things as a lack of care , as he is not aware that regis is aware of the prophecy . he interprets it as an unwillingness to be his parent and puts a wall between the two of them , and becomes cruelly independent from him , relying more so on his friends than his father . it's part of the reason he also rejects his duty as prince/king , because he does not 'want to end up as his father . ' of course , this whole viewpoint shifts as he grows and matures more into himself , but there was a time when they hardly spoke . regis , letting noctis grow into adulthood and allowing him the space he craved , and noctis , craving his affection and attention , but distancing himself further from him despite it . they had their ups and downs for sure . (maybe i should have made the regis section its own post ummm)

AULEA LUCIS CAELUM : my headcanon for aulea is canon divergent , as in canon , she dies when noctis is an infant , and they were never able to spend much time together . in my portrayal , aulea lives until noctis is eight years old , and dies in the same daemon attack that injured his back and sent him into a comatose state . i think she was a very dedicated woman , to her role as queen , to her work , and to her family . noctis relied on her often for emotional support , and she did her damn best to be there for him when regis could not , though , noctis still spent a decent amount of time being cared for by the maids and hired caretakers he did not know very well , and did not like . despite that , they cherished each other greatly , and aulea taught him many things herself . many of the things he learned from her were things like empathy , understanding , nurturing ( even as bad as he is at it currently . i think he was really good at putting those things into practice before the daemon incident and her demise ) . she is the reason he has such a soft heart beneath his wishy washy exterior . she is the reason he loves so strongly and wholeheartedly . he also always admired the relationship between herself and regis , even if he , at times , felt excluded from them . he decided he wanted to experience a relationship like theirs , were the time to ever come .

LUNAFREYA NOX FLEURET : lunafreya starts off as a good friend to noctis during his healing stay in tenebrae . after he awakens from his coma , she meets him and they become close . sharing stories , books , secrets , and adventures through his healing journey . i think having luna there beside him was the only thing that made his rehabilitation manageable . he was often miserable and hurting , but he looked forward to her visits every day , and thought of her every night . she gave him a familiar comfort , an understanding , and an ear that listened to him after his mom's passing . that event reshaped the entire way that noctis approached life and himself , and she was the first person to get to know him after the fact , with no pre-conceived notions or expectations of who he is or how he should act . he felt at home with her , until niflheim had ripped them asunder . as he has been aware , tenebrae does not have technology in the way that lucis or , more specifically , insomnia , does . they could not communicate but through letters , but his way with words eludes him most often . this lead to their maintaining contact through their shared notebook , noctis's sticker collecting habit ( as he learned luna enjoys stickers ) , and his short sentences scribbled beneath a cute sticker he thought she might enjoy . big life events were written about vaguely ( with the knowledge that the book could be found and read by the empire ) , but for the most part , he kept things between them simple . he has always valued her presence in his life . into adulthood , i think they both continuously grew in different directions , despite always cherishing the other and maintaining what little contact they were able . when the treaty is announced and noctis hears of his arranged marriage to lunafreya , i know it throws him for a loop . he has always cared for her , but to not speak to someone for a decade and then be thrown into a world in which you must marry is daunting . he's thankful it's to her and not a stranger or someone else , but i think he really gets confused about his romantic feelings for her , and as they develop , has a hard time deciphering if they exist because he is forcing them to , or if he has genuine feelings for her . i think it all hits the moment he sees her giving her speech in altissia , and i think he can truly imagine a life with her , but the expectations and pressures of it all are so overwhelmingly unmanageable . he has had to re-evaluate the love he has for her time and time again , and while eventually he does realize the extent of his romantic feelings for her , it did not come without chaos and confusion .

GLADIOLUS AMICITIA : so , gladio and noctis have not always has the best relationship , as depicted in the animated mini series : ffxv brotherhood . gladio taught noctis to fight , and had training sessions with him several days a week , though it was not anything he'd considered more than his duty as future shield . this was a job and nothing more . gladio did not like noctis , his childlike attitude , or his willingness to give up . noctis knew gladio did not like him and often dreaded their training sessions , knowing he'd be bested no matter how hard he tried , in turn , viewing the training as a waste of his time . after the iris incident ( when noctis lied to protect her , taking the brunt of the blame for something she did ) and gladio found out , their dynamic shifted . gladio started to develop a respect for him he did not have prior and noctis felt it too . because of this , noctis started taking gladio and their training more seriously and the two were able to bond through physical battle and practice . they started sharing more conversations , but i think gladio has always had a way with giving noctis advice and "lectures" that noctis often considered a bit condescending ( albeit , at times , welcome ) . their relationship at this point goes so deep and i think they understand each other in that way that needs no words . they know each others movements , the fluctuations in their voices , and their body language . they're both similarly stubborn and manage to butt heads a lot , but carry immense respect for the other , and they both have a special place in their heart for each other . they have a closeness and a trust where they aren't afraid to lash out at each other . they know the other can and will take it , and that they'll remain at each other's sides despite it .

IGNIS SCIENTIA : ignis and noctis share a bond that goes beyond ordinary friendship , and they trust each other with their lives . ignis was deemed noctis's advisor at age six , making noctis three years old at the time . their fate and friendship was decided for them , and ignis has been dedicated to him for as long as they've known each other . noctis has known ignis for as long as he can remember , and he values him with great intensity . i think ignis's devotion to noctis goes beyond noctis's understanding , despite him being aware that it exists . at times , it troubles him , knowing how much ignis would do for him , knowing that the way ignis loves is through his actions , through his sacrifices , and noctis has never doubted his devotion to his job . i'm sure he's been through some phases where he convinces himself that the reason ignis takes his wellbeing so seriously is because it's part of his job , and not solely because he cares about noctis as a friend . though , when he's of a more rational mind , he does not doubt their friendship through such lenses . he knows and trusts ignis wholeheartedly . as a teenager , he often argued against ignis , as the advisor just wanted what was best for noctis , but noctis wanted to do things his way regardless of their benefit or consequence . as they grow older , noctis appreciates him more earnestly and through his twenties , while he can still have a gripe or two here and there , he cherishes his dear friend . it's into his thirties , though , (or after the time skip , depending on the verse) that he really really values all of ignis's hardship , care , and self - sacrifice . he begins to understand ignis's love and devotion , he accepts it , and wishes to stand beside him . to take care of himself , so that ignis does not have to , but he will never forget all of the things he has done for him . in a verse where they both live through the ending , i think noctis's display of appreciation for ignis and his general interactions with him change drastically ( mostly for the better , depending on your view ) .

PROMPTO ARGENTUM : prompto means so much to noctis because he is his friend because he wants to be . he has no obligation tying him to noctis or his princehood , he simply ... decided he wanted to be his friend . and noctis appreciated that more than anything in the world . prompto and noctis are the same age and went through schooling together and have a lot of cherished memories , and noctis values his fun - loving and dramatic attitude , but also values their more serious moments of vulnerability and care . prompto is someone he can just simply be himself around . he does not have to worry about prying eyes , different opinions , complicated expectations . prompto just feels like home to him , and he brings noctis genuine joy when they spend time together . he feels value at his side , not as royalty , not as noctis lucis caelum , but as noct . he trusts him with his vulnerable side , though he may not show it much . he can escape the pressure of the world with him , laugh , and goof off . his mere friendship is a relief for him , and he loves to spend time at his side . i think they had a lot of small moments together when they'd hang out in their secondary school days , and his presence brought so much joy and addition to noctis's life that he wanted him to join on the roadtrip , and through that , they bonded so much more . he knows prompto from primary school , but assumed he was uninterested in befriending him . after all , it wasn't as if he didn't attract unwanted attention . and prompto didn't seem the type to want a lot of that sort of attention , so he left it alone . he hadn't a clue that prompto took it upon himself to 'prove himself' and would have loved to his friend despite his looks or personality . a person who wanted to be friends with noctis for noctis , he'd appreciate no matter what . being around prompto truly brings him back to himself when all of life seems to be pulling him in separate directions .

[peony-pearl]

"someone PLEASE dare me to talk about the writing of Ursa's story from the comics"

This is your sign, child. Tell me all you've got

BLESS YOU!!!!!!!!

A bit of a foreword to anyone reading: I am going to be speaking about the writing of Ursa's trials from the comics in a critical light in the ways that her story was chosen to be written this way. If you find any kind of comfort or catharsis in her story, this post may not be for you. I am not here to be an anti, I am here to look at changes made to a character that I think could have been a lot more interesting if she had been allowed to keep her original backstory.

That being said:

Ursa's story of being plucked out of a happy home to marry 'the bad guy' could be interesting!

My problem with it is the inconsistencies it creates in it's own narrative... and the fact that it's such painful woobification of a woman who was willing to commit a high crime to save her son in the way that her circumstances create an issue where she is nothing but a martyr. It also continues the whole 'good lineage vs bad lineage' idea that completely undermines the power of Zuko's arc.

Ursa, in the comics, is presented to us as this bright eyed hopeful actress, in love with a man named Ikem when Azulon rolls up with Ozai, unlike some earlier lore where she was born into royalty and was the perfect match for Ozai. Now she's subjected to a wretched life which I can only imagine they put her through to make her completely sympathetic, because otherwise she would have been just like the rest of the royal family - EVIL.

Which I really hate that train of thought, but this is a family friendly show and as good as atla does with it's good vs evil nuances, I often remember I have to cut it some slack... but then I get a bit more frustrated because of the whole 'just because it's family friendly means they can simplify things' which I also don't care for but again... eh. I can't be too picky at times. (I was also raised on Gargoyles which did a great job on showing villains in sympathetic moments and heroes having big major flaws so I'm already a little biased)

Regardless; completely rewriting Ursa's backstory to the point that we no longer see her view of the war (or Ikem's! So they're good people!! We promise!) just comes off as almost manipulative and middle-school fanfiction-y. Ursa is a good person to sympathize with because she's being forced into these situations :C

And as such, she's a good person because of Roku!! And so Zuko is a good person because his mom loved him so much!!

And such, they don't have to show any changes on Ursa's part. No moral failings, no her and Zuko butting heads once they reunite to show how much he's grown... his morals come from her and Roku, because Avatar lineage = good.

And that grinds my gears so hard because then just like Ursa, that's robbing Zuko of his autonomy to make bad choices.

When Iroh tells Zuko in The Avatar and the Fire Lord that his legacy is the good and evil within him, it sucks because Zuko's legacy should solely be his own choices (I have my own issues with Zuko's view of the crown). Not the bloodline within him that he can't control. THAT'S A MAJOR POINT OF THE SHOW. People aren't born evil.

and yet Ursa is GOOD because she is Roku's GRANDDAUGHTER. That's really it. Yes, I can understand that she was raised in the moral compass left behind by him. But Ozai is only really good/charming to Ursa right up until their wedding when suddenly he's just EVIL and he's like 'you're MINE now hehehehe' like there's no in between, you just have to show Ursa in this miserable predicament which then also doesn't allow for any interesting development in our Ozai, aka previous big bad which could have been him following his father's orders to marry some woman and maybe he legitimately TRIED to make things work because NO ONE IS BORN EVIL. Ozai is such a shadow of Zuko that he would try to appease his father, and he might take this marriage on in the hopes that it would start building a bridge between them.

And we're not even getting into the fact that we don't learn that Ursa is the Avatar's granddaughter until the final season, JUST IN TIME for Zuko to learn this while he's locked in his self loathing and is utterly directionless. Again, this takes away the importance of his own choices. The boy who started the series completely devoted to returning home, willing to put himself and others through constant danger and misery just to appease his father is given a free ride card of 'oh you're actually good on the inside! Just do the good thing!'

Because he's Ursa's son, the woman who didn't want to marry Ozai because he was so so awful that his bloodline is OBVIOUSLY why Azula is the way she is (ugh).

Like this could work in more fairytale/simpler story settings but atla has gone so far out of it's way to continue to say 'no one is born evil' and 'people can change'; but when it comes down to it, they're really restricting the moral compass.

In the end, Ursa is good and suffered. Ozai is BAD because VILLAIN. (which yes he is but... ugh).

I don't know if I've made sense. I had a more cohesive idea when I wrote those tags but this is more or less my views of Comic!Ursa.

I don't hate her. But I hate that they just kind of shoved her on the misery train and kind of went 'wow that sucks right? This makes you want to see Zuko find her right?'

And then he does and all is well. Because Ursa is a GOOD WOMAN unlike that EVIL OZAI.

[vertebrates-and-pieces]

Not sure if this is within the comfort zone or not. But how would Morgott respond to the notion of babies?

How would he react if his beloved brought up the idea that they would like to bear his children? How much coaxing would it take?

Alternatively, how would he respond if it was an abrupt pregnancy?

His beloved taking him somewhere quiet, and telling him that they are with his child. This having not been discussed prior to sex.

But they are happy...

Give us the juice!

Very sorry for the wait, had some nasty writer’s block last month, but slowly getting back in the groove and getting those writing juices flowing.

Okay so I was lowkey dreading getting an ask on this subject haha. It isn’t that it is really out of my comfort zone (Please don’t ask for pregnancy/breeding kink stuff on my NSFW blog though. That isn’t something I’m into, sorry.) but more of a topic I am heavily biased on. I personally find the idea of becoming pregnant or raising kids to be very unappealing and that is one of the few things I tend to project onto characters I like even when it is unrealistic to do so. 

It’s probably me subconsciously lashing out against the random people who go on about how great motherhood is and telling me “you’ll change your mind once you get married.” Like no. That sense of obligation is how you end up with so many parents that resent their kids, as well as me working on my personal feelings regarding the preservation of ways… Due to a long family tradition that goes back around 7-8 generations in which the firstborn daughter of each generation is to in turn name her firstborn daughter the same name. So I sort of grew up being told that I was going to have children, including at least one girl, and pass on the family name. And going through the realization that no. I do not want to do that was a big coming of age moment for me (Fortunately my family was pretty chill about it, so it isn’t exactly a traumatic conflict or anything)

But that’s neither here nor there.

Because honestly, I don’t think Morgott would be opposed to the idea of children, so I’m going to do my best to put my own projections aside and answer this in a more objective way.

…under the cut because I ended up going through several paragraphs of introduction before even getting to my thoughts on the matter oops

So I see Morgott as someone who would be relatively neutral on the subject of kids.

If things are in the state we see in canon, a broken world where he views himself as very much alone, I think he’d consider himself procreating as cruelty. A reviled omen bringing new, probably accursed, life into a world where nothing but hate and suffering awaits? No. That would be wholly unnecessary. Besides, the fewer distractions from his duties, the better.

However, after undergoing some character development, learning to accept both himself and others more, challenging the status quo, and in this case, falling in love, I doubt he’d see things the same way. Now that he has been set ablaze by a flame of his own: one of companionship, one of change and renewal, the world seems markedly brighter, and the outlook of a child born into it less bleak.

However, I don’t think it would be something he would consider right away. It is pretty clear that he’s gone his entire life thinking he would never have a family of any sort, so it probably wouldn’t be the first thing on his radar. I think he could be fine like that. I can see him being perfectly content as The Last of All Kings. Yet, now that he is loved, now that he understands that, now that he has brought into question tenets he once thought unbreakable, I’m sure his mind would wander.

If his love were to bring up a desire to bear his child(ren), I think he’d be a bit conflicted at first. He would need to take some time to work through some of his feelings on the matter. Would he make a good father, he’d wonder. Could he show a child the love they deserve after his lifetime of hate? I don’t think it would take too terribly much coaxing, but there would have to be a long discussion before he’d agree. One of the major points he’d bring up would be the possibility of the child being an omen. Not that he doubts his love would care for an omen child any less, but he cannot help but worry about the other concerns regarding the safety of both the child and the person giving birth to it. As we see with the Omen Bairns in game, Omens are born with their horns. More concerningly, the horns they are born with are no mere nubs or buds. They are jagged, pointy, and liable to do some serious damage. To give birth to an omen would be�� traumatic. The thought that he could cause something to grow within his love that would hurt them so terrifies Morgott. What if they died? What if the child died? 

I do think after a good amount of discussion, and a healthy amount of reassurance that yes, this is really what they want, he would agree.

For he loves you so dearly, that if you consider this one of the greatest gifts he could bestow upon you, he will ensure it is so. And this great and profound love is something he looks forward to sharing with a child that you both created.

I think news of an unexpected pregnancy would result in similar initial terror. He would fall to his knees and hold them, worried that he may have just doomed them. They would ask him if he was okay and he would apologize. They’d hold him back, tell him that it will be alright, that they are honored, excited, to be with his child. And the genuine joy they show him. How they speak of looking forward to raising this child, to see Morgott as a father… He’s still shaking, but he is warm. He’s still crying, but his tears are not of grief.

[theredengineapologist]

So this is something I've been noticing for a while. Have you realized that James is usually shipped with Edward or Thomas? I'm surprised no one has shipped him with Gordon yet 😕

I wouldn't say no one has shipped James with Gordon. I went into Google Images and searched for "ttte james x gordon" and found a number of results. If there's one thing I learned from being in fandom spaces, it's to never assume that a ship has not been shipped. XD

But if you're wondering why James x Gordon is a less popular ship, especially in comparison to Jameward or James x Thomas, my opinion is that it has something to do with the character dynamics.

Long rant under the cut!

Before I begin, I need to state my biases right out of the gate. I'm a Jameward shipper through and through and I don't really like Gordon. So take what I say with a pinch of salt.

With James and Edward, you have a positive dynamic that spans basically over the course of the entire series. Edward was James's support since his debut arc, then during the HIT era you can see they have a bit of a rivalry (but James always comes back to support Edward in the end. You'll notice in a lot of their episodes, James makes up for his actions by being Edward's back engine), then from "James the Second Best" onwards they become respectful peers. Even if you don't ship them, you cannot deny that there's growth in their dynamic with each other and that James and Edward seem to operate on equal footing.

With James and Thomas, you can see that they also operate on equal footing. They have a rivalry that spans over the course of the entire series (highlights including "James and the Red Balloon" and "Reds vs Blues"), but there is also evidence that they support and lean on each other (first thing that comes to my mind is James specifically calling for Thomas's help in "Philip to the Rescue").

Both Jameward and James x Thomas also have significant moments that shippers can point to as "relationship milestones" or "highlights". For Jameward, it's Edward saving James in "Old Iron" and James trusting Edward with carrying the mayor in "All in Vain". For Thomas and James, it's Thomas saving James in "Thomas and the Breakdown Train" and (I'm guessing based on the synopsis but I haven't seen the movie) the entire movie Journey Beyond Sodor.

But Gordon and James, in my opinion, don't really have that. With their dynamic, it's a lot of James looking up to Gordon and Gordon looking down on James. In The Adventure Begins, James does a lot of shadowing Gordon and imitating him. James laughs when Gordon laughs and even imitates his whistle. It's very clear that James admires Gordon and sees him as a very important engine, but I would argue that this respect is not returned on Gordon's end. Examples include:

Season 1 Ep 10, "James and the Express": While they're in the sheds together, Gordon tells James that he talks to much. And then right after we get that famous exchange where Gordon brags about "seeming to know the right line by instinct".

Season 5 Ep3, "A Better View for Gordon": Gordon complains and James gets frustrated and is like "Why are you complaining all the time". To which Gordon replies by telling James he's "just a small engine with ideas above his station".

Season 20 Ep 3, "Henry Gets the Express": In order for Henry and Thomas to reverse psychology Gordon into carrying the Flying Kipper, Thomas immediately starts negging James and how difficult it was for him. This is what eventually convinces Gordon to leave the shed because he wants to prove he's certainly stronger than James.

Now I am NOT suggesting that Gordon doesn't care for James in his own way. What I AM suggesting, however, is that I don't think Gordon sees James on the same level as himself. I don't think they are on as equal footing as, say, James and Edward or James and Thomas. James looks up to Gordon like a role model or a mentor. I've seen one user even suggest that James looks up to him like a father. And Gordon sees James as someone of a lower level from himself. The point is that they are not on equal footing. I also don't recall them having notable moments together that one could call a "relationship milestone" either.

With all that said, please keep in mind this is just my opinion for why I personally don't ship Gordon x James. I think they have an interesting dynamic, but not in any way romantic. I suspect that others who don't ship the pairing are also inclined to view them similarly, but I can't speak for anyone else but myself.

[pauiful]

I can only add for Solomon, as I have not thought much about the Sallow parents. But yes, I agree that Solomon was not close to his brother as indicated in game quotes (“Always calling me my fathers son- as if that were an insult”-Sebastian AND Solomon himself I believe called his own brother “stubborn” but they way he said indicates he wasn’t close)

1. I think Solomon disagreed with his brother’s view on magic (much like Ominis) especially having left the ministry on bad terms by using dark magic.

Unpopular opinion, but I feel bad about Solomon in this situation- he knew the unforgivable were a terrible form of magic and in his own way, wanted to protect his family from dealing with such a terrible fate that follows when using that type of magic. He just didn’t know how to communicate other than being authoritarian. ( as an older sister I am biased and understand this perfectly) which leads

2. Solomon is older than his brother. I just get a sense that he was an authoritarian and had strong opinions on certain life values. He seemed controlling, aggressive, and stressed out all the time and I like to think he was like that since his youth as he also had to take care of his younger brother his whole life, and now his unruly children.

3. He resents his brother for leaving him to look after said children. He wasn’t planning on becoming a parent because he knew he wasn’t cut out for it. So when his brother died, it made him angry because he saw it as the final “mess” he had to take responsibility for from his younger brother. And with the twins being mischievous, he detested the situation more.

4. Cannon: it’s known that Solomon doesn’t particularly like Sebastian because he reminds him of his unruly brother- Sebastian continued to defy him just like his younger brother. Due to this resemblance, he was particularly harsher on him.

Sallow Family Origins

In my headcannon, the Sallows aren’t Scottish wizards by blood but plain old English. This is based off their English accents (and a bit posh if you listen to the twins).

I like to think the Sallow parents grew up in England and then decided to move to Scotland when young because of their work, while Solomon moved to the highlands for easier transportation to and from Hogwarts and away from facing his demons at the ministry.

I think people have officially said the Sallows are Scots. But with the lack of a Scottish accent and more lore or connection to said culture, I find it hard to believe. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Let's Talk about Sebastian's Parents

I recently needed to write about Mr. and Mrs. Sallow for my fanfic, and because there is very little information out there, I had to invent a lot of backstory as to who they were and what life was like for the Sallow family prior to their deaths.

I'm so curious to know what headcanons others in the fandom have created about them. It would be interesting if some of us had similar thoughts. If you're willing, would you share your own ideas via comment or reblog? Thanks!

I threw in a little preview above of one of my many commissions from @giselsann-opencommissions that I've been sitting on for quite some time. I don't usually post them until I get to the plot points they depict. This one is close enough - I'll show the entire thing real soon.

Before I get to my headcanons, this is what Hogwarts Legacy: The Official Game Guide has to say about Sebastian's parents (see last paragraph):

Here is the background I created for my fic:

Their names were Samuel and Selina (Ware) Sallow. Their family and friends called them Sam and Lina.

They were both pureblood and the same age.

They met at Hogwarts. Sam was in Slytherin, and Lina was in Ravenclaw.

When they were students, they were academic rivals - not "enemies," per se, but they were not exactly friends until they were assigned as partners for a project in Potions during their seventh year. They realized how similar they were and fell in love.

They got married very quickly after graduation but didn't have Anne and Sebastian until they were older (around 30).

The two of them eventually became teachers at Hogwarts. Sam taught Magical Theory (predecessor to Professor Fig), and Lina taught Defense Against the Dark Arts (predecessor to Professor Hecat). They were experts in their fields.

They moved to Aranshire when they became professors. I believe they lived in the spider house in Hogwarts Legacy (there's actually evidence to back this up). It was FILLED with books to the point that it was practically a library.

The cellar was their workspace, and the twins knew that when their parents were down there that they were not to be disturbed unless there was an emergency.

Both of the Sallows were incredibly studious and conducted a lot of research in their spare time. They sometimes teamed up to study particular subjects, such as defensive magical theory and love as a form of magic in its purest form. They didn't view Dark magic as inherently evil, just as everyday magic is not always perfectly good.

Mr. and Mrs. Sallow were quite lovey-dovey. Sebastian remembers them reading in front of the fireplace, engrossed in their own books, but always holding hands or touching. He also remembers being grossed out as a little boy by how often they would kiss.

Neither of them had big families, and just about all of their family members had passed by the time the twins were born. Solomon Sallow was their only living relative at the time of their deaths.

They took the twins to Hogwarts often during summer breaks, so they had a head start on learning the lay of the land and the school's curriculum. Sam and Lina had them read some of their textbooks prior to their first year so that they could get the most out of their education.

They wanted the twins to be well-rounded, so they taught them multiple languages. Lina considered music a language and taught them how to play piano. She also would sing them a song every night when she put them to bed.

Lina was exceptionally gentle, despite her interest in magical combat, Dark magic, Dark creatures, etc. She tended to coddle and fuss over the children. Every year on their birthday, she would bake a spice cake with vanilla icing. She was proficient in both Muggle and magical healing. Her nicknames for Sebastian and Anne were "little prince" and "little princess" - "the little twin rulers."

As far as looks, Sebastian takes after Lina, who had curly auburn hair and freckles. While Anne got a few of Lina's freckles, her hair is similar to Sam's.

Sam loved to give the twins sweets behind their mother's back. He had a distinct laugh and enjoyed reading stories aloud and "doing the voices." He taught the kids how to play Quidditch; he had once been a beater. When he traveled for his studies and would come home with unique artifacts and new information, he would share all of it with the twins in plain language, never talking down to them. I see Sam as an Atticus Finch kind of father.

Christmas was a simple affair. They'd have Uncle Solomon over for dinner, and he would leave pretty quickly after dessert (he and Sam were not close and disagreements were frequent). The twins were always gifted two items: a new book and something particularly interesting, useful, or coveted.

They liked animals and had an Old English Sheepdog named Endy (short for Endymion).

Again, I would love to hear your headcanons. Are yours similar or completely different from mine? Sound off in the comments or reblog! I love discussions like this.

[messymindofmine]

Ok so here we go with part 4 of my series. Just a quick disclaimer bc I am only going to say this once. As this series focuses on characters through the lens of their relationship with Robby and we all know that Robby has been done dirty in one way or another by just about every single character on the show, there will be a fair bit of criticism. Fair criticism being the operative phrase here. I have no intention nor desire to shit on characters for no reason. This is true of all characters. While I may be harsher on some characters than I am on others, it isn't due to me hating them but rather with the magnitude of how much wrong they've done. Also, while the main focus is the characters' relationships with Robby, I will be exploring the characters themselves as it their own characteristics that impact the relationship they have with Robby. I will also add that loving and defending characters is fine but I think that being able to call out flaws and acknowledging valid criticism is actually a healthy way to interact with characters. Let’s just remember that criticism does not automatically equal hatred and part of an analysis means making warranted criticisms.

So for this post I want to talk about Robby and his relationship with Kreese and by extension Silver.

What I find really interesting about Kreese is that he really does believe in what he’s doing. He truly doesn’t think of what he did to Johnny as abuse. Instead, he actually seems to view Johnny as some kind of surrogate son and extends that to Robby. He talks about “three generations of Cobra Kai” as though it’s some kind of family legacy. He continuously refers to Robby as “son.” 

From the moment Kreese is reintroduced, we can see the effect he still has on Johnny. For Johnny as a child, Cobra Kai was an escape from his horrible stepfather and Kreese did play the role of a father figure for him. It’s hard to admit that the person you view as a parent is actually the reason for your pain. Hell, we see this repeated with Robby and Johnny. Even when Robby can admit that his father has hurt him, he still craves his attention. With Johnny, he internalized the abuse Kreese inflicted on him to such an extent that it took decades for him to even acknowledge that Kreese had done something wrong. 

When Kreese returns at the end of s1, Johnny is shocked and definitely not as happy as Kreese hoped Johnny would be. They fight and Kreese once again hurts Johnny badly. However, despite this Kreese is able get under Johnny’s skin once again and convince him that Kreese has changed. Johnny believes him which is understandable and lets Kreese back into his life. It’s only after the school fight when Johnny begins to question everything around him that he starts to escape Kreese’s grip. 

One thing that is obvious almost from the moment Kreese returns is his desire to get Robby into Cobra Kai. He constantly tells Johnny that it’s not right for Robby to be with Daniel and that he should be with them instead. He keeps referring to Robby as “our boy.” It’s almost impressive the lengths Kreese goes to to get Robby into Cobra Kai. 

It’s hardly surprising that Robby would trust Kreese despite everything because when Robby was completely alone and scared, Kreese was the only one who even bothered to show up for him. Kreese was the only one who visited him in juvie. Sure, he had ulterior motives and Robby certainly wasn’t interested in what he had to say in the beginning. However, Kreese taught Robby how to fight back in a way that actually stopped him from getting beaten up in juvie. I find it interesting that before Robby even gave Kreese a chance, he actually looked him up. He looked Kreese up and learned about him without any biases clouding his judgement. Of course, none of the articles that he looked at would have told him the truth about how messed up Kreese actually is. So for Robby, it really did come down to who was there when he needed someone and that was Kreese. Of course, Kreese was the only person to acknowledge what really happened in the school fight. That Miguel was the one who escalated the whole thing and Robby was the one who was trying to stop it. 

In 3x10, Robby watched as Johnny and Kreese fought. Bearing in mind that the only reason Johnny was even at the dojo was to get back at Kreese for what he did to Miguel. He didn’t even know that Robby was there because he just let Robby go off on his own but he was willing to storm the dojo and fight Kreese for Miguel. So Johnny sees Robby and Kreese goes into his spiel about “three generations of Cobra Kai.” Kreese may be messed up but everything he said in that scene and in previous scenes since s2 all show that he truly does view Johnny as a son and by extension Robby as a grandson in an extremely warped way. So Kreese and Johnny fight and Robby sees it all. He sees Johnny on top of Kreese actually about to kill hi. Johnny only stops when Robby tells him not to do it. So now on top of everything else, Robby has also had to see his father almost kill someone. Then he outright tells Johnny how much he has hurt him and Johnny just stands there. Then when Robby snaps and starts fighting him, yeah Johnny says he doesn’t want to fight Robby but then proceeds to throw him into a set of lockers and knocking him unconscious. Yeah, it was an accident but there were so many things Johnny could have done in that moment to stop Robby that didn’t involve pushing him into those lockers. Then when Robby regained consciousness and went outside where Kreese and the others were having their standoff, Robby tells them to go. Johnny could have insisted he stay, he could have asked Robby if he was alright, he could have done lots of things but instead he chose to walk away thus making it clear to Robby that his only option was Kreese. Daniel said “keep your Cobra Kai away from our kids” yet had no problem leaving Robby in Kreese’s clutches.

Despite everything, Robby still wasn’t completely sold on joining Kreese. He told Kreese that he wasn’t interested in being a pawn in his games. It was really only after his conversation with Tory and then with Sam at the skatepark when he saw that there was no place for him at Miyagi-Do that wouldn’t require him to debase himself, he went to Kreese. Mind you, even then he makes it a point to tell Johnny that he doesn’t really trust Kreese. For Robby, going to Kreese really was more about survival than anything about Cobra Kai.

Robby’s relationship with Silver is interesting because he is the only person with the exception of Kreese who isn’t scared of Silver. Sure, he was bit intimidated by him at first but even after being beaten up by Silver, Robby never feared him. Robby clearly knew from the start that Silver was dangerous yet he had no problem openly challenging him at the avt. Then in s5, he took it a step further and challenged him in front of all his students. Silver by that point was already clearly unhinged and made it very clear that he would not hesitate to hurt Robby but Robby still looked him in the eye without a hint of fear. 

It’s interesting that there are similarities between Robby and Daniel when it comes to Silver. Both have been his students. Both understand just how dangerous he is better than anyone. Silver for his part seems to have a personal interest in both Robby and Daniel. With Daniel it’s obvious and goes a lot deeper but he became obsessed with Robby as soon as he found out who he was. He watched as Robby was teaching Kenny Miyagi-Do and tells Robby he knows enough to kick all their asses and then challenges him to a fight. There was no reason for him to do that other than to show Robby how much power he could exert over him and Robby understood that message. He taunts Johnny in the prom episode by saying that he would take care of Robby. He also looks directly at Robby at the avt and tells him that it’s his chance to prove to Johnny and Daniel that they don’t need him. He makes it a point to address Robby when even Kreese didn’t say anything. Even in s5, during the beatdown with Johnny, Silver is actually the only person to point out how Johnny has screwed up with Robby. 

As far as Kreese in s5 goes, now that he feels that he has been well and truly betrayed by Johnny and Martin Kove has even said will likely target him in some way for revenge, it’s highly possible he might try something with Robby. Robby obviously will not go back to Kreese but Kreese may target Robby. With Silver, I doubt we have seen the end of him. Given the murky legal situation regarding his arrest, I certainly don’t see Silver just accepting defeat. I’m actually interested in seeing what happens to these two in s6.

You can also see my other posts on Robby and his relationships here

As always, thank you so much to anyone who took the time to read this post and leave a reaction. I truly appreciate it. I hope to have the next post in my series up as soon as I can.

[mydivinepunishment]

My (very biased and emotionally based) opinion on Ugetsu Murata

Hello fellow Given fans, I'm here like many others to write my own point of view of Ugetsu Murata, in hopes to leaven a little bit of the dislike that he gets. Also like this is not a smooth read, I think my being projecting on Ugetsu made this a very tumultuous read. I did try my best to atleast go chronologically, (at least to a point)

I want to start with Ugetsu's childhood.

Ugetsu is known to be from an affluent family where his grandpa is a politician and his father is a diplomat. From this one sneak in the manga, atleast the grandpa had no interest in child Ugetsu, and a running trope for rich kids is normally how distant those family members are. For my introspection sake and due to lack of anything about Murata's past other than this snippet we will assume so.

Further, by being a portrayed a 'genius' Ugetsu's path is cemented to be lonely, even in Akihiko's flashbacks Ugetsu is always shown alone.

Now this guy is lonely, and Akihiko is the only one to approach him. He clings onto the relationship, he is finally being cared for and seen, as not the prodigy but as a friend, there is no surprise it turns to lovers.

I'm sure during the time together Ugetsu let's himself feel ease and relax in the security of Akihiko's love. He likes being cared for by Akihiko and even acts indulgent like a child. But at one point he realises how Akihiko is getting lax with his violin, to be honest that scene where Akihiko hands Ugetsu his violin before a competition maybe Ugetsu thought, you aren't supposed to support me, you're supposed to be here with me! Which is why for Ugetsu , for whom music was such an important channel to express his feelings, something he can't ever lose, seeing Akihiko do so probably because of him must have hurt him so much. Maybe he even had past trauma where someone may have blamed him for being to reason they gave up music. (Like in knb, maybe, just speculating). Would explain why he tells Mafuyu he doesn't have friends and why he chose to make Akihiko his everything. Friend, confidante,lover.

Their relationship is very wrapped into each other. Even if it was the dark basement, they were warm and fulfilled with just each other. At one point though you have to get out to face the light, I think the basement portrayed the ignorance to the flaws in their relationship, or their reluctance to reach out to anyone else other than each other, this would inevitably break it down.

I won't say Ugetsu is toxic. The relationship perhaps. I saw it from Akihiko's side too. The urge to own Ugetsu scared me. I know Ugetsu hit Akihiko but when u see the preceding scene with how Akihiko was pulling and grabbing at Ugetsu it seemed a defensive injury, done out of instinct, may i assume a bad childhood for Ugetsu? Still of course, hitting someone you love is not right.

Akihiko says in the start about Ugetsu, Ugetsu has a big heart and he feels immensely. He acknowledges in a way that makes me feel Akihiko knew he was taking advantage of that. Knowing that Ugetsu dumped Akihiko but he didn't have the heart to leave Akihiko alone and let him stay close.

When I say advantage I am in no ways portraying Akihiko as a bad person, see these two people are not emotionally developed, in a world that segregated them from others and the lack of a stable family dynamic as well, seeing as you develop emotional stability because of your parents care and attention, they turned to the next best thing, each other. While Ugetsu dumped Akihiko, he couldn't do further than that to distance himself and let his own emotional whims turn their relationship into a pull and push, where Ugetsu who didn't know healthy ways to handle his own emotions continued to hurt Akihiko , and Akihiko hurt him and then they reconciled because out of the people they slept and tried dating they would of course, when threatened, when lonely , go back to the security of familiarity, into each other.

But relationships are only wholesome when you grow with them, Akihiko and Ugetsu have been stuck into this stagnant dance where they are not improving themselves, they aren't inspired and they have grown resentful to each other even if the love still exists.

Ugetsu's basement is filled with the bare minimum, I think Ugetsu has a complicated relationship with attachments which made that basement void of a homely touch despite being rich enough to afford it, which is why I think when Akihiko got them matching cups he shows his displeasure because he does not want attachments that hold him back especially when he is trying to make Akihiko leave. When he slaps the cup and accidentally breaks it, he realises he ended up hurting Akihiko who probably just wanted to show his affection through those cups.

I think Ugetsu truly did love Akihiko, in a way he didn't love or get to love anyone else, which is why the dumping was most he could do. He wanted Akihiko to leave him because he was simply incapable of leaving himself because he didn't want to. He loved him.

When Ugetsu sees Haruki, he knows and he sounds a bit bitter but I think he whole heartedly approved of Haruki and I think he felt better knowing Akihiko was leaving him for something better which would make it easier for Ugetsu too, to move on.

The final scene of confrontation, Ugetsu is trying to protect himself by being a little condescending with his jibes, he wants to show Akihiko he's not hurt, which he is of course I think because it was the first relationship in his life he felt so loved. Akihiko picks up on that definitely, he knows Ugetsu but he doesn't say anything.

Even when Ugetsu cries looking back at Akihiko, he truly did love Akihiko and that love wanted something better for Akihiko, he doesn't run back even when his instinct is to because Ugetsu wasn't the chasing type in the end, he was but the holding type, and now that Akihiko was leaving on his own violation and on better terms, (he loves music again). What could Ugetsu want more.

I think after that , in the little snippets seen of Ugetsu alone, we see a much more relieved and freer Ugetsu who's not bitter about how things ended because maybe after all the probable crying he did after such a deep intense relationship he learnt to appreciate what he had when he had it, and to let go when it didn't serve the both of them. I think both Ugetsu and Akihiko through this relationship came out to be stronger and much more emotionally strong. And Ugetsu faced his fear of being alone after Akihiko and realised it's okay. It's okay to be alone.

So that's it what I wanted to say. I really love Ugetsu Murata and I hope we get more stuff on him that gives his character more depth and dimension, way more than this post can give. Thank u if you read!

[ifuckingloveryoshu]

PUNK ASS FUCKING ROYALTIY SHIT ASS FUCK YOU LORD OF HORIKAWA YOU FUCK I HATE THAT MAN SO MUCH BECAUSE IM BIASED BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKER ID THROW HANDS WITH HIM ALL DAY LONG ALL DAY FUCK

Also woo, I shill JIGOKU all day and all night. You are entitled to therapy and questions of consern for your mental well being from me. The rest of this reblog is going to be me yelling about Hell Screen stuff. I need more work understanding this peice and this is my excuse. Also, I am like the narrartor but biased toward Yoshihide instead so obligitory take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Why are you sacrifcing little boys, oh great Emperor of Horikawa?

OR or, lets think for a bit. On your knees in prayer, PRAYING NOT TO DIE. FUck. YOu.

I dont know anything about hiarchy but what is he supposed to do, poor painter man, interupt the high people's oh so coveted time and risk punishment? All he needed was a model to paint, if they looked pretty or accurate, what the fuck does rank in the palace matter?

This one feels like foreshadowing to a reason why Yoshihide would want his daughter away from this fucking Lord of Horikawa man. Yoshihide is just being used as a scapegoat here. That sounds like Mr. Lord Of Horikawa did something to them.

Ohh this is where that quote came from. I've already read this several times but my adhd brain has a habit of just skimming.

Single father. What the fuck do you mean "Not above hiring street thugs." What else can he afford or get if people keep calling him ugly names beheind his back, you need to protect your child. Yeah? Yeah?

That's called Focusing On Your Work. WHat man. What.

How else is he supposed to research? In fact, why is there a corpse on the roadside you fuck? Is Lord Of Horikawa not doing his best to govern his citizens? Is he running them over with his ox? He's too busy fucking woman, aint he? I don't fucking know.

This is after the nightmare, this is not even Yoshihide at any worse, man is having a night terror and you still feel the need to demonize him.

My guess is Yoshihide knows he needs to strangle someone, so he picked someone who looked strong and bulky who could handle getting choked, but this is just be thinking very generously. Of course, no one wants to get choked so he doesn't go, "Im going to choke you for a while." because that's not Yoshihide's style. People are already demonizing him, no sane person is going to agree to letting him get choked.

ALSO MR NARRATOR SERVANT MAN, YOU ARE JUST WATCHING. I guess from your point of view, it wouldn't make sense to object to such a *sigh* unreasonable grumpy stubborn old man and there might be socio-political factors but come on. Stop acting like you care. You don't seeem to. You ass.

Then snake comes out of no where some how, legitimate shock to everyone. That's not Yoshihide's fault.

This scene, fine. Whatever. I can't completly defend Yoshihide here when the owl comes for the child. He should have known better not to touch a bird that might not fully trust him, even if its feeding, esspecially from the back. They are sadly not that chill, you just got this bird Yoshihide. You have not developed a relationship with this bird, I own birds, I don't own birds of prey and their temperments are probably diffrent compared to a bird who is prey as opposed to a predator raptor, but you can't preen or touch them if they don't know you.

But, I don't think he threw the owl at the apprentice on purpose, that's my headcanon. He only got up to paint because it was already happening in front of him and he needed to hussle.

It clearly says "Yoshihide was a man who simply hated to have anyone pry into his business, ... he would never let his apprentices know what kinds of things he had in his studio." Moments later, Yoshihide answers the young apprentice, YOU DON'T NEED TO LOOK AT SOMEONE TO BE TALKING TO THEM AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. LET ME FOCUS ON WHAT IM DOING WHILE TALKING TO YOU, I DONT MEAN TO BE RUDE, OK? ITS THE AUTISM. I KNOW YOUR THERE, ITS NOT NATURAL FOR ME TO LOOK AT YOU. WHAT THE FUCK DO I LOOK AT? Your nose? Your cheek? If I look into your eyes, that's akward for me, ok? Almost vomited just thinking about it. Ill look at you in the eyes I guess but some people find that hostile so what do you want?

I think Yoshihide legitimatly called the other apprentinces to help out this other apprentice being mauled by the owl and its also dark, and then the snake again. After that, the apprentice is fine. Hes fine, you didn't say anything about that, Mr Narrator Servant Man.

Because hes stressed. I also would stay away from someone who is STRESSED. OK? (I like having beef with fictional characters, its fun and no one gets hurt most of the time.) This is the only way to get his daughter back, he thinks. Hes begging for it, praying for it.

Skipping SA scene but this is a big reason why I really don't like Horikawa. Im also skipping around because I'm getting tired.

Horikawa you bitch.

HORIKAWA YOU FUCKING BI-

Mr. Narrator Bitch Ass Servant Simp still needs to shoot the artist while hes down, eh?

I have problems deciphering this part. The narrator switches sides breifly. Yoshihide just feels so much contempt because his one and only daughter and their monkey was just burnt in a carriage. It's easy to say its beautiful as an outside observer but come on, that's his daughter. It's a complex feeling beyond rage because on one hand, your finnished. This was the best way to end the art. On the other, still your family memeber getting burnt and catching on fire. He's broken. Fuckass Horikawa should be fucking sad. He should be ashamed.

Fuck you and your fucking shit Horikawa. FUck you. FUck you. This is such an ABUSER RESPONSE. Abusive fucking response you shit. This is how abusers rationalize hitting their children, ok? To punish and teach them a lesson, get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck, the termites in their time machines better get to you faster than I will you peice of shit.

Fuck you. You people suck. Yoshihide and Yuzuki and Yoshihide (the monkey) deserve better then this. He has nothing left but his art. Your lucky as shit he event had the drive to finnish the peice before his death. God, and then you just forget him, just like most artist are treated. You saw the art, you enjoy the art, you don't give a shit that their blood, sweat and tears went into that peice. Labor. They don't get to see their families sometimes, they get demonized, they get mocked, art is very underappreciated as a medium that can change lives and hearts and thoughts thinking, rewritting, and me as an individual am no diffrent to that, someone who also takes a lot in their life forgranted. I'm getting heated for no reason. I'm using targeted langauge but this isn't an academic essay, this is me wanting to put letters to post. I need to learn more about this courtship culture and this higharchy to get more off this text, im doing it such a dissevice.

But yes, unreliable ass narrator. I will throw hands with him any day of the week. That is all I can say.

Hell Screen

narrator: Yoshihide was an artist that everyone hated and who was an awful person, but his daughter was kind and sweet and everyone loved her so we all kinda tolerated her dad

Yoshihide: I would do anything for my daughter, Yuzuki. I can't paint something unless I've seen it with my eyes.

Yuzuki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_piety

Lord Horikawa: You've painted some nice art for me. I'll do literally any favor for you now.

Yoshihide: Can you release my daughter from your service

Lord Horikawa: no. fuck you

narrator: he wasn't in love with her or anything, he just felt bad that Yoshihide was her only family.

Lord Horikawa: Also I'm commissioning a massive scene of the Buddhist Hell, artist who can't paint something without having seen it

Yoshihide: ok

[various agonies of Yoshihide's apprentices]

[psychological agonies of Yoshihide also]

Yuzuki: [is seen growing unhappier and more stressed as the days go by]

narrator: people are saying Lord Horikawa's forcing himself upon her. this is false because he is too cool. this is Yoshihide's fault

[incident in which the narrator encounters Yuzuki fleeing from what was clearly assault]

narrator: yeah

Yoshihide: I'm almost done with the painting. I just need to see a maiden burn in a carriage so I can paint it

Lord Horikawa: okay [puts Yuzuki in a carriage and burns it]

narrator: stop saying it's because she didn't reciprocate his love it was clearly to punish Yoshihide for being so fucked up. I know this is true because Lord Horikawa said so

-- End --

[sweetestpopcorn]

Why do you think Daemon cheated on Rhaenyra with both Mysaria and Nettles when he loved his niece and she was the mother of his son?

Hi 😃

Sorry it took me so long to answer you, anon, but I'm answering now so XD I guess it's something. I hate myself so much... 🤦‍♀️

Before anything, please, everyone, bear in mind that I am answering this ask according to my view points and to my interpretation of F&B and its characters. As I have said in the past, F&B is written in such a way that people can have a very different read. This is mine.

I think it's important to bear in mind not only the type of man that Daemon was but also the universe he lived in. Noble men having mistresses was not uncommon, in many cases even when they were said to love their wives dearly. Just look at Corlys Velaryon. We are told he loved Rhaenys yet he had a prolonged affair with Marilda of Hull having two children by her, yet no one questioned that he loved his wife, and I too think he did.

Daemon would never love a woman the way that, for instance, his father Prince Baelon did Princess Alyssa, or even as Jaehaerys loved Alysanne. I think he would love a woman in his own way which from what is known of him is in my opinion something similar to a "brownie-point" system, something of the sort of: Is she hot? One point. Does she love me and does what I want? Another point. Was she a virgin (I know it's disturbing, but hey it's Daemon)? Another point. Has she given me children? Point. Were the children boys? Extra points. You get the picture I think 😅

This being said I do believe he "loved" Rhaenyra, but in his own way, because of all the things she was and did for him. He does seem to have a god like complex which she definitely fed, and I do believe he very much liked to be the number one man in her life. Of all the women of his life - Rhea Royce (his one true love lol), Mysaria, Laena Velaryon, maybe Nettles - I don't think anyone quite adored him as much as Rhaenyra did, or was as serious about his love (to the point of it not being very healthy). Reminder that our queen was willing to kill a sixteen year old girl because there was a chance she could have Daemon's son and because he was in love with her (according to Mysaria) 😬 Not your proudest moment was it Rhaebae?

Now, before the Dance there's no record of him being unfaithful to her. In fact, they seemed to have an exceptionally boring marriage since the only events reported about them since they married was that they had two sons, that she had him collect Vaemond's head when he said the "Velaryon" princes were bastards, and that in 129 AC she was pregnant again (snore fest). Rhaenyra was also described, by George himself, as a proud and stubborn woman which definitely isn't very compatible with her turning a blind eye while Daemon collects women and possibly bastards and shames her.

Am I stating for a certainty that during this time he was faithful? Probably not, but he was at least very discrete about it. With how biased F&B is against Rhaenyra (and history books in general) I have no doubt that if he had mistresses we would have been told - as we were during the Dance. Adding to this her "sweet" temperament and how infatuated she was with him, I am convinced that if he had other women, she was kept in the dark.

What changed during the Dance you might ask? Well, at the time she ascended the throne Rhaenyra had suffered a very traumatic miscarriage, had lost three sons (Viserys was presumed dead), and was dealing with all of the sh_t that kept pilling up around her. It doesn't seem likely to me she was in the mood for... well Daemon.

Enter Mysaria, who we are told Rhaenyra knew about and didn’t care. 

If she wasn’t “keeping Daemon entertained” 💑 it did make sense for her to have him have some “fun” 🍆🍑 with Mysaria. Mysaria was older than her, no longer very beautiful, and likely at her age (and given the times they lived in) no longer fertile. Rhaenyra knew there was no danger of Daemon either leaving her for Mysaria, or fathering a bastard on her. As for Daemon, I don’t think he would be the type of man content with holding his wife’s hand in bed and not holding anything else. I believe that in his mind, Rhaenyra was his niece, his wife, mother of his sons, and his queen, but if she wasn’t willing to have him bed her, then he would find someone else to do it. Easy as that.

As for Nettles, to this day I am not sure what the truth was. By this I mean if she was his daughter, or his lover. On the one side given what we are told about their relationship, they do sound very much like lovers to me. Additionally, in “The World of Ice and Fire” where we have the short version of the story, she is ever only presented as his lover and no other hypothesis is raised. Now juxtaposed to this what makes me think she was maybe a bastard daughter of his and not his lover, is the fact that so much doubt is placed upon them being lovers. If it was so straightforward, why is it still so questioned by the sources of F&B?

In any case if they were lovers (I do lean a bit more towards this even though I wish it weren’t true because it just adds another point to Daemon’s darkness) I have two words for you: midlife crisis. What level? Yes.

Reading about their relationship gave me a huge Deja Vu. Allow me to elaborate.

1- Spending the days flying together? Check.💁‍♀️

2- Giving her countless valuable gifts? Check.💁‍♀️

3- Spending all of the time with each other, dining together, amongst other things? Check.💁‍♀️

Is this sounding familiar to anyone? Well, I have no idea, but it did to me. Now I ask, how similar was this to what had happened in 112 AC between him and Rhaenyra? And how likely it would be that Daemon, now almost fifty, older, no longer with his whole life ahead of him, likely no longer having a chick to worship the ground he walked on cof Rhaenyra cof would want to relieve his youth? To be in “love” again? To have a younger girl who loved him? I would argue that very likely and Nettles was the perfect opportunity.

In conclusion (I hate how long my answers are), Daemon “loved” Rhaenyra in his own way, but to a man like him I don’t think that “love” would be an impediment to having a little something something on the side every once in while, especially, if he wasn’t getting it at home.

People are what they are, and no one is magically changed or transformed by love, or by a person. Change, true change, has to come from within because only that kind of change will last. And some people will only ever love us in their own way. 

Moral of the story: Don’t ever think that if someone says they love you and then they do something like cheating that it’s your fault, or that they don’t love you enough. The fault is not with us, it’s with them. Love or lack there of isn’t the issue, people are.

XOXO, Gossip Popcorn 🍿

[hunterexamcheatsheet]

Explaining how the Mafia functions, Kurapika in the mafia community and why the other “Neon died” theories don’t work from the Mafia Structure perspective

Please read this if you’re interested in how Kurapika in the mafia functions in the HxH world. 

I went to roam around the Chinese forums using Kurapika and Neon's name (酷拉皮卡和妮翁; pronounced as Kù Lā Pí Kǎ and Nī Wēng) to try and find some KuraNeon content in the Chinese fandom. 

I found a Chinese blog that also talks about the dolphin theory that @anotherworldash​ has thought of. You may use Google translate for the link above to read it. You may also view what @u-named​ had summarised here regarding the dolphin theory. I had reblogged it before but I got very excited when I saw that another fan had thought of it. 

I’m so glad that other people from non-English fandoms had also thought of it (and not just the usual theories of Neon dying, but exploring other explanations why it’s possible for her to be still alive). I might be slightly biased, but I disliked how everyone just jumped into the assumption that she’s dead because her name disappeared from Chrollo’s book. From what I see, HxH deaths are often shown or at least heavily implied. We also got false narratives like the one with Kite in CA arc. 

We do not see her dead body. Or any major hints of what happened to her. 

What’s more, Kurapika implied that the previous owners where he had acquired the Scarlet Eyes from did not need to be killed. While this only means that Kurapika did not kill Neon, and it’s possible that other people might have killed her or she had died by accident/natural cause, it’s still something to think about.

The flaw in some of the “Neon’s dead” theories

I think u-named already discussed this a bit, but I’m going to elaborate it a little further. I am actually thinking of posting regarding the mafia theme, but that will take a while. I had been researching the functions of mafia in both reality and media, in order to understand what goes on in mafia families in HxH. 

The theories regarding “Neon was killed by the mafia community”, “Light Nostrade killed her” and “she committed suicide” are possible, but I’m going to need to nitpick on the reasoning. I suspect people who formed these theories don’t know how the mafia works or at least, attempt to understand how it works (not that I’m an expert, I’m still trying to understand it from mafia movies, videos, a book and journal papers). 

Of course there is a discrepancy between the actual mafia and what is depicted in media, but given that Togashi had mafia themes in his previous works like in Ten de Showaru Cupid and in Yu Yu Hakusho, and until now, he is using mafia families in his current arc. 

“Oh, but what if Togashi doesn’t do his research?”

I genuinely think he does. York New City and the Ten Dons could be a parallel to the actual Five Powerful Mafia Families in New York City back then, formed in 1931. The Five Families is also what inspired the five mafia families in The Godfather. (I don’t know, maybe Togashi was a fan of The Godfather or any mafia movies; that trilogy was very influential in the media). Even the family name Nostrade is both a reference to Nostradamus (a French fortune teller) and La Cosa Nostra (a nickname for the Italian mafia). The coincidence is too uncanny. 

From what I gather from resources, the mafia functions like an organisation/corporation, but their services are largely illegal. Their main aim is to acquire money (and also power, but power comes with money). 

Neon’s fortune-telling ability is highly sought after because accurate information in many places (which includes being in businesses) are crucial. If you guys are familiar with The Godfather, information and strategy is important when trying to win over people or crushing your enemies. The concept of knowing your enemy is also a huge main idea in Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. 

And it’s even more valuable when these information is from the future.  You will always be one step ahead of the enemy if you have accurate information in regards to the future. 

Now, there are people envious of Light’s climb to power because he exploited his daughter’s fortune-telling ability and they gained influence as she has fans among the Dons. They see Light’s acquiring of power as a threat, which is why Light protects his daughter. 

Another reason (not really stated, I just thought of it) is that information from the future is a disadvantage when your enemy has it and you don’t. You already lose when the other side has information that you do not have. 

By the end of the YorkNew City arc, we see that the Ten Dons are assassinated by Illumi. Therefore, there seems to be empty seats when it comes to the leadership of the mafia community. Not stated, but without leadership, a corporation/business will either crumble or someone else will assume leadership. Be it brutally or by succession of an heir, we’ll never know. 

Neon’s ability is no longer on hers. Who is affected negatively? Light Nostrade because he just lost his way of influence and attaining money/power. His enemies, who are envious of his climbing up the ranks, will see it as an advantage. A blessing perhaps. Because the threat (which is Neon’s powers) are gone. 

While murder among mafia members are not uncommon, killing one’s family member (especially one’s direct children) is irreversible and poses serious consequences. An all out war could evoke and it can be costly. Going back to my point about the mafia community’s main aim and how it functions as a business, negotiations are actually another way to deal with possible disputes.  They do not need to do the killing because her powers are simply GONE. Without her powers, she’s just an ordinary “citizen” who is a family member of a father whose in the mafia community. 

Therefore, “mafia community killed Neon” theory is flawed if you look at how the mafia community functions as businesses and negotiations. The reason why they decided to be brutal and aggressive in York New City is because they were up against the Phantom Troupe. Additionally, the lack of manpower and leadership that follows after their fiasco with the Phantom Troupe is another concern. A girl who no longer poses a threat is the least of their worries. 

Now, onto the “Kurapika let them die off”, “Light killed Neon” and “she committed suicide” theories. 

The reason why I have a problem with these is because it’s based on the big assumption that they became broke. Either Light Nostrade went crazy and he killed her; or they became broke and Neon couldn’t handle the stresses of being poor so she committed suicide. But the thing is, they aren’t broke. 

Even on the Hunterpedia states:

The Nostrade Family survived the loss of Neon's ability and is now led by Kurapika. The organization is exclusively involved in legal activities such as personal security details and gambling.

This is backed by what Linssen has said to Mizaistom in the Dark Continent Expedition arc. 

The reason why they survived the financial slump? Kurapika. 

During the Greed Island arc, Kurapika reassured him that he’ll “take care of it”. And during the Dark Continent Expedition arc, we see that Kurapika’s title is “Nostrade Family Waka-gashira”. Waka-gashira means “Young Boss”. There are many mistranslations to this text where they state that he’s the mafia organisation leader, but in the hardcopy (which I have), the title is “Nostrade Family Boss”. 

In the context of the Japanese yakuza, the Waka-gashira is the second in command, just below the Oyabun. 

The second in the chain of command is the wakagashira, who governs several gangs in a region with the help of a fuku-honbucho who is himself responsible for several gangs.

While it seems that the inspiration of mafia is from the Italian-American mafia families in York New City, the terminologies they used is that of the Japanese yakuza. I think that this is because the original language is in Japanese. 

In Italian-American mafia, the term “mafia organisation” is synonymous with “mafia family”. Therefore, if you say that a man is the mafia organisation leader, he is also by default the head of the mafia family. 

In the context of Kurapika, it does make sense that he is the second-in-command and Light is the oyabun (if you go by the yakuza terminology), or Kurapika is the head of the Nostrade family (if you go by the Italian-American way). 

Now, I’m just going to backtrack a bit because I want to address that theory that “Kurapika let Neon and/or Light die and overtook the Nostrade mafia organisation”. 

If you go by the Yakuza terminology, it already doesn’t make sense because it implies that Light is still in charge, and Kurapika is the second-in-command (wakagashira). The Yakuza also assimilate members into the mafia organisation and “making your own family” (via trust). 

If you go by the Italian-American way, it also doesn’t make sense if you look at the way they appoint the head of the mafia organisation. From what I read and seen in mafia movies, aside from mafia organisations functioning like a corporation, it functions like a family business, where typically, the head of the family is a male. This isn’t just exclusive to mafia families, but pretty much family businesses in [East] Asia. Togashi also depicts this male heir and family business dynamic within the Zoldyck Family. 

While there are actual records of women leading mafia organisations, what is depicted in media is that the mafia community are often populated with men. This is also evident in the York New City arc, where the mafia community is filled with armed men. 

Even among the Yakuza, it is like this: 

The Yakuza is populated almost entirely by men and the very few women who are acknowledged are the wives of bosses

Light Nostrade only have one child, a daughter to be exact. While Morena Prudo is the boss of the Heil-Ly Mafia Family, this isn’t the actual case for Neon. Neon is a young girl who likes to shop and collects dead body parts. She enjoys luxury and materialism. She doesn’t have an interest in the mafia business or where the money comes from. Besides, as mentioned before, a male heir is often depicted. 

In Japanese family businesses, when there is no male heir available, they will have to resort to mukoyoshi practice. Taken from Wikipedia:

When a family, especially one with a well established business, has no male heir but has an unwed daughter of a suitable age, she will marry the mukoyōshi, a man chosen especially for his ability to run the family business. 

This is done to preserve the business and name of the family when there is no suitable male heir, since traditionally businesses are inherited by the oldest male heir. Mukoyōshi is also practiced if there is no capable male heir to run the family business.

This is a centuries-old tradition and is still widely practiced today. Many Japanese companies with household names such as Nintendo, Kikkoman, and Toyota have adopted this practice.

This is why I often liked the whole “Kurapika married Neon for the title” theory because it takes into a Japanese practice when it comes to family businesses + how the mafia family business are run into account. 

We also have to note that Neon Nostrade’s character blueprint is Princess Luna from Level E. Princess Luna is betrothed to the main character, Prince Baka. Initially, Prince Baka did not want to marry her. Arranged marriages do not need to be founded by love or a relationship bond. In fact, arranged marriages are often agreed on because of practical reasons, such as a family business. 

Princess Luna is also why I take the marriage theory more into account, rather than the idea that Ligth adopted him. Kurapika is considered as an adult (or nearly) anyway. 

Side note: Whether or not you agree with this because it seems sexist or the possible sickening idea that Kurapika married a flesh collector, is irrelevant. Me being a KuraNeon shipper also does not make this theory hold any less weight. In fact, I started liking them together because of this theory. This is based on how [mafia] family businesses are depicted in the media, the mukoyoshi practice in Japan and Princess Luna being Neon’s character blueprint. Remember that theories are based on evidence, not based on how you feel. If anything, this gives more depth to Kurapika because it shows how far he’s willing to go through in order to gain power and money for his clan. 

Regardless of how Kurapika had gotten this title, it is via assimilation. Not coercion or force. 

It also doesn’t make sense if he were to function businesses under the Nostrade family name, if he disliked Light and Neon so much that he’d let them wither off. Why would he still keep their family name in honour if he had let them die off? The answer is getting the title via assimilation. Be it through trust or becoming a member of the family (literally or figuratively). 

Neon being uninterested also meant that there is no one to challenge Kurapika for the title, and Kurapika had already reassured to Light that the business during Greed Island arc. 

Therefore, the “Kurapika had let Light and Neon wither off to get the title” is flawed when you look at the way mafia organisations functions as a family business and Neon’s character. 

Why the Nostrades aren’t broke

Linssen stating the Nostrade family gains its income from gambling and personal security detail businesses that the Nostrade family runs, thanks to Kurapika being the head of the family. 

Aside from that, we also see Kurapika obtaining many sets of Scarlet Eyes, with him stating that there are various ways he had done so. 

“I’ve threatened, coaxed and paid people off” - Kurapika (based on the hardcopy Volume 33 that I have)

During the York New City arc, one set of Scarlet Eyes are already worth like what, millions? Not only money, but Kurapika needs influence and connections to gain these Scarlet Eyes. Threatening and coaxing meant that you’ll need to invoke fear or drive them into situations where they are forced to surrender the Scarlet Eyes. How to do that? Creating dilemmas. Give the person two options, both that are undesirable, with the lesser evil option being the one you want. 

Basically, giving an offer they can’t refuse (sorry, this reference was too good to pass up lmao). 

This is why being part of the mafia, and more so being a mafia leader is an attractive pathway for Kurapika because it gives him the resources, in terms of influence, finance and aggressive force. 

Another thing to note is that Kurapika has hired Izunavi, Melody, Basho and Bisky to apply for the Kakin Bodyguarding contract. It’s evident that Kurapika has the money. Therefore, the Nostrades aren’t broke. 

Hence, the idea that Neon was killed because her father could not face financial difficulties or that she committed suicide because she’s no longer rich, falls flat when you consider Kurapika’s involvement with their family. 

“But didn’t Linssen say that gambling and personal security are legal businesses and he told Mizaistom that they are not the crime syndicate? Why is it part of the mafia?” 

Yes. You see, the mafia deals with LARGELY illegal businesses, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deal with the legal ones too. Perhaps the Nostrade family has been legitimised, but it wouldn’t be the case because Kurapika’s title still states “mafia”. 

While these facts seem to contradict what Linssen claimed to Mizaistom that the Nostrade organisation is not a crime syndicate, it can be argued that Mizaistom is a Crime Hunter (aka like a detective). It makes sense for Linssen to tell a Crime Hunter that you are not a crook, and it’s easier to lie about it if your services in the mafia business is legal. 

Also, in actual mafia businesses where gambling is involved, the place of the server where online gambling may be legal, but in the place where the people use the online gambling may be illegal. 

Taken from 10 Businesses Supposedly Controlled by the Mafia: 

But mobsters have adapted to the times and taken their act online. These days, they are more likely to be busted for online sports gambling. In 2008, a Queens district attorney charged the Gambino family with illegal sports and casino-style gambling operations. Players were allowed to borrow gambling money at 200 percent interest [source: Bonner]. More recently, members of the Genovese family in New Jersey were indicted for making millions of dollars each year through illegal gambling operations [source: Ivers].

In Europe, officials have raised concerns over the vast amounts of money being laundered by the Mafia through online gambling, particularly sites based in Germany, where there are no penalties for illegal gambling activities [source: Walther].

Personal security details kind of vague, but I believe it’s Protection Racket. I went to have a look at Wikipedia for a short while and found ties with the mafia: 

A protection racket is a scheme where a potentially hazardous group guarantees protection from violence, looting, raiding, piracy, and other such threats posed by them outside the sanction of the law, to polities, businesses, individuals, or other entities and groups that pay to them in cash or kind. 

Protection rackets tend to appear in markets in which the police and judiciary cannot be counted on to provide legal protection, because of incompetence (as in weak or failed states) or illegality (black markets).

Certain scholars, such as Diego Gambetta, classify criminal organizations engaged in protection racketeering as "mafia", as the racket is popular with both the Sicilian Mafia and Italian-American Mafia.

While this “personal security details” the Nostrade family business provides, the stuff that involves in it may be illegal. 

We don’t really know why Kurapika resorted to these two types of businesses. I have two guesses: 1) He wants to compensate and retain his moral values, therefore he opts for legal businesses, 2) He wants to have a loophole in being in the mafia yet avoiding legal troubles. Either way, it’s a smart move for Kurapika in my opinion. 

Side note: With Togashi liking mafia themes so much, I truly believe that it’s a hard opportunity for him to pass up the idea of making one of his main characters a mafia leader. We get to have our own Michael Corleone, and that’s hot. (Simping hard for mafia boss Kurapika right now). 

What about the Kakin Bodyguard thing? And the fact that Kurapika’s a Zodiac now? Does this mean he’s no longer the Nostrade Family Boss? 

He is still the Nostrade family boss. These three are not mutually exclusive.

In the manga panel where they showed his title, it was slightly after the Zodiacs meeting. Therefore, he still retains his title as the Nostrade Boss. Being part of the Zodiac is a position within the Hunters Assocation, they are the counsellors to the Chairman. Just as when Kurapika is a hunter and the Nostrade Boss at the same time, he can also be a Zodiac and the Nostrade Boss. 

The Kakin Bodyguard thing is like an employment contract. As mentioned, Kurapika hired a few people to apply for being a bodyguard because six Kakin Princes were looking for bodyguards to get close to the 4th Prince Tserriednich.  You can actually see this as a link to his “Protection Racket” mafia business. Being a Kakin bodyguard is a type of Protection Racket. Therefore, he can still be a Kakin bodyguard while holding onto the mafia title. 

Kurapika doesn’t need to be in the mainland overseeing everything in the business, in fact, it’s kind of noteworthy that Linssen was not on board - it is definitely possible that he had left the other parts of the mafia business to a second-in-command (a consigliere, shategashira, or the saiko-komon). He may also leave the businesses back to Light Nostrade. 

Okay, what if Neon committed suicide because she couldn’t take how she’s being mistreated, rather than her being broke? 

That could be possible, but we don’t really have a clear hint of that. Yes, I can see some potential daddy issues because she’s no longer of use to her father and also the possibility that Light favours Kurapika more now and maybe even sold her off to Kurapika, but I don’t find any strong evidence of that. And we don’t actually exactly know how Kurapika will act around her now that he seems to have more power than her. In fact, we don’t really have any insights as to what Kurapika thinks of her, only sweeping statements when it comes to flesh collectors which may or may not apply to her. 

(I know people assume that he hates her, because they like to infer his prejudice on flesh collectors to her, but we really have ZERO clear indication of what he thinks about her specifically. To say that he definitely hates her is inaccurate. I literally just argued with someone on Youtube comments for this. And even if he did hate her, that’s hot if she’s his wife because hate-sex is wow.)

To Conclude: 

The theories surrounding Neon Nostrade being dead falls flat when you look deeper into how the mafia functions. I have also explained more in detail at a possibility of how Kurapika might function in the mafia community and as the Nostrade family leader. 

Other sources aside from above (so that ya’all know I don’t pull this out of my ass):

 New York Mafia Families

What does the mafia even do anymore? 

How to Make an Offer they can’t refuse like Vito Corleone

The Godfather by Mario Putzo [film/fictional book - watched Part 1 and 2]

Five Families: The Rise, Decline, and Resurgence of America's Most Powerful Mafia Empires By Selwyn Raab [book - only read a bit]

When culture matters: succession challenges for Asian business families

Behind the Yakuza: documenting the women of Japan’s mafia

How Japan’s family businesses use sons-in-law to bring in new blood

Pretty much the whole of Hunterpedia LMAO. 

I only wanted to post the Chinese blog but ended up a huge full-on essay about the mafia in HxH HAHHAA. (Because I’m so sick of people talking about theories without taking the mafia structure into consideration). 

[cryptiql]

untitled god song

pairing: bakugou/m!reader (trans reader in mind you can see it if you squint but can also be read as cis)

words: 2k

warnings: themes of religious trauma, homophobia, mentions of blood, the author projecting their mommy issues

a/n: this is purely self indulgent, don't mind me 😩✋ (written in first person)

i wish i had known him before the pain started. perhaps it is a fools dream to think that his presence would have solved anything, and it is likely that he might blown me sky high at the time, if given the chance, but i often ponder his place in my narrative. he is nothing less than a king—nay, a god—and what else am i to be except his humble servant, adoring him in the only way i've been taught?

i would bruise my knees as i kneel for him, and should he turn me away, i shall be lost and without purpose. but he does not, and instead, he snorts out a laugh and pulls me to my feet, roughly squeezing my cheeks together with a shit-eating grin. he'll tell me a joke i've heard a thousand times, and yet i laugh with him anyways, the pads of my fingers idly tapping the pulse on his wrists.

"dumbass, at least take me out to dinner first."

i never thought i'd ache to hear such a demeaning nickname, but it's like birdsong to my ears, and i long for the myriad of butterflies it provokes.

i would heed his every word like a faithful disciple, and—if i knew he would not use this power for the wrong reasons—carry it out without question. he'll roll his eyes at the notion, far too prideful at the idea of being praised, and card hands through my hair, gripping softly. "right. and if i told you to go to bed before five in the morning, would you listen?"

my smiles are genuine, as they all are with him.

"no." i wish my mother had been more open-minded; more loving to those she claimed were goners. maybe then, i could still call her my mother, and not a snarled version of her first name steeped in vinegar. maybe she could have met him, and maybe she would have keeled over in the process, but that is how we put it "killing two birds with one stone".

he was a fallen angel if ever i saw one—emblazoned in smog and ravenous inferno, the pieces of child-like innocence turning to ash. something happened to him when he was a kid, just as all gifted children, and oh, what a fool i was to let my gaze dawdle on his gorgeous form. but i will never regret it—no, not ever—for there is no such feeling that can compare to his eyes on mine, burning with a mind-fogging intensity.

it was instantaneous, the moment my thoughts turned on me with malicious intent, her voice ringing out like a gunshot.

you'll never be him.

his hand slots with mine perfectly; deliciously warm and comforting in a way i haven't felt in years; and hauls me up, the flecks of dirt and rubble from the road clinging to my jeans.

"watch it, pretty boy. i won't always be here to save you, y'know."

my heart batters against my ribs like a caged bird, screeching and wailing to be set free, and i wonder in a haze if i've died. judgement day must have come early, i think, not realizing that it was spoken aloud until the blonde quirks a brow inquisitively. he does not speak on the matter, but continues on his merry way, leaving my helpless; hopelessly enamored; and praying that we will meet again.

no, i could never be him. but i am like him. he has a sureness in his walk and fervor in the way he talks that is only recognizable when i look in the mirror. and we do meet again. it is a shame, however, that i must burden him with the weight of my past. i remember too often the troubles of my youth, even when all has passed into fleeting memories that haunt me as ghosts do to an abandoned house. yet, i still live in this house, and the ghosts are here to keep me company.

i remember the church, first and foremost; nestled between the barren country road and the outback; a beacon of hope to all those who stood in its doors. the luster of freshly polished wood still sits in my mind, accompanied by the echoing remnants of dulcet tones and multicolored bands of light, glaring from the stained glass windows and dancing across the musty carpet floor. the doddering pews were just as uncomfortable as the poorly padded chairs squatting in the front row, but every sunday, they were filled to the brim with hungry worshippers. they sang praise as though they were starved, but i was too young to understand for what. i am older now, and i still don't understand. all i know is that despite its reputation, the church was a cursed place, and i should never set foot in it again lest i go mad. i remember the creaking stairs which lead downstairs, and the winding halls that reeked of torment where shadows loomed. the paint was corroding and foul, and my conscious always loitered too long on the merlot stain on the ceiling; its origin unknown, but nevertheless urging my stomach to twist with nausea.

i remember the feeling of tall grass grazing my ankles; itching horribly from the old moth-eaten socks i was forced to wear. it had become second nature—running and hiding from my problems, from the church, from her. i shall never know a greater animosity than the likes that my mother encouraged, although unintentionally, with her pressuring views and sickeningly sweet smile. it's fake, and i would know, because ours are the same.

we are too similar, and i am sickened by the fact. will i become the wretched woman she is? will i fail to be the father i've dreamt of being? it is an easy thing to fall prey to haunting questions, and it serves as brain rot for every moment of silence that leaves me clawing at my skin, trying to reap the memory of her touch. then i began to think—about nothing and everything—and it does not stop. i will be kind; unforgivingly so, and without biased judgement; like my mother never was, and i'll make her hate me for it. i will grow in leaps and bounds, not for her sake or for god's, but for mine, as it always should have been. i will drink and curse with reckless abandon and kiss who i damn well please, because in no life does she have have the power to make me something i'm not. why should i feel sorry when the tears she wept were forged by my own blood; by the childhood memories locked away to rot in my subconscious? yes, she has suffered too, but it is through clenched teeth and raw-bitten lips that i must confess this, for her suffering was born in me and grew from a seedling into a thorned flower, nourished by her hatred and mine. she'll tell me the lie of all mothers before her: that she knows best, and i'll never know joy that is not from my savior's gracious hands.

one day, when she lies not with words but in silence, under worm-filled earth and withering pastures, i'll tell her that she was right. i'll tell her, with his hand in mine, that my savior arrived with hellfire in his eyes and fury unrelenting. his tongue holds venom that would make the devil blush, but he tastes of a sinful sweetness that i've drowned in more times than i care to count.

mother you should know, my god is like no other. he has a broad chest and muscles, i attest, that are sculpted like fine marble and smooth to the test.

my god is a man who loves other men, unashamedly; in all that is true; and kisses me like real people do. and i know it sounds silly, and a bit cliché, and he'd surely make a mockery of me if ever he heard, but i love him. i love him as passionately as you she does lord above, and it is a crime in itself how much i crave him, so yes, i will burn for this—not because my mother said so or by the ancient script that foretells it, but because i promise it. i promise to let neither hell or high water deter me from that which gives me life, and i'll do so with a ring.

"you hear that mom?" i'll whisper in the dead of night, his body flushed against mine in the most delightful way; his fingers curled into my nightshirt, pulling me closer as listless mumbles fall from his parted lips. he is dead to the world amid his dream ridden stupor, but still leans into my touch when i smooth back the wild tufts of hair to kiss his forehead.

"i'm gonna marry him." part of me wishes she didn't live on the other side of the planet, just so i could rub it in her face, but i won't give her the satisfaction of seeing me again. i won't let her think she's won, because i know, and katsuki knows, that he and i are one in the same.

i do not know who i should thank for my stubbornness, be it my mother or my father, so i will thank the pain they both caused me, for it made me stronger than they ever could. no, i did not become a better person, because the scars have yet to heal from how deep they cut, and the smell of blood still lingers, and i am angrier than i once was, but i cherish my wounds. the stench of my agony has long since been subdued, and i have learned to swallow the sickness it evokes. and yes, this anger is unhealthy and i've chosen not to purge it from my mind like the weed it is, but how lucky am i to have found one whose malice rivals my own?

the tales of his glory have littered my notebooks in smudged ink. you would hate him, is scrawled messily on the last page, but i only feel giddy with excitement. you would hate him for his spite and his unapologetic behavior, and that is why he's perfect. he's everything you hate about this world, but everything i love.

so when she gets to heaven and asks the angels "why?", they'll tell her it was him who made the devil cry. him, who held me like she should have—could have, if she hadn't terrified me—and who chased the nightmarish visions of her from my weary mind with his callous palms and soft-spoken reassurances. i wish i had known him when we were young; when things were not so simple and i needed a hand to hold; but i suppose we'll have to settle for faded photographs and stories told through the bitter aroma of alcohol. that's more than enough, i muse to myself, legs hooked over his as i rest my head on his shoulder, keening softly at the gentle scrape of his nails on my scalp. his arms wind around my waist as he mutters something along the lines of "i love you", his lips curling into a smile, illuminated by the televisions glow.

so when they ask of my religion, i will think of only him. i will recall the way he looks at me, the sound of my name on his tongue, the feeling of his lips trailing between the valley of my breast; featherlight, cautious and unfitting for a man of his nature. i've written songs of praise, all dedicated to him, and if only he knew, oh how smug he would be. but i love him, i love him, i love him. and when he spins me around like a marionette, it is with overwhelming pride and joy that i tell him this, and with rose hued cheeks and bashful grumbles, he tells me the same. so mother, wherever you are, i hope you know i've found my god.

[ccaptain]

10. someone they’re holding a grudge against

i am also going to combine this ask with another one i got:    12. someone who taught them a valuable lesson

we all know and love master crepus, but can we talk about someone who probably impacted kaeya’s life and views much more than they should have?

his biological fucking dad. you know, the asshole who left him in front of the dilucs winery and forged him into a spy because we should DEFINITELY talk about him.

i may be biased and aiming for maximus hurt, but i imagine that when he was a kid kaeya idolized THE FUCK out of his father. because he was an important figure in khaenri’ah, because in the eyes of still-learning kaeya he was entrusted this important legacy to keep up with and he didnt minded losing his childhood to this because it meant having the approval and the love of his father. little kaeya in his robes toddling behind his father, handing him important paperwork and always looking up at him with a big smile! he loved his dad so much. christ 

and this man repaid the trust and admiration kaeya put in him by being loving at first: sure, it’s easier to manipulate a child with affections, at first. it didn’t even costed him much, just some headpats, some unfeeling ‘i’m proud of you’ carefully masked by a sweet expression, and baby kae was OVER THE MOON and still toddling behind him as planned! this man must have had several sticks up his ass to treat his own kid like this, to feel both hope and hatred for kaeya. to treat him so coldly and distantly, to look at the progress they were making and say ‘yes, this is worth sacrificing my child for’. when he grew up a bit, kaeya learned the harsh truth that his father never actually felt anything for him except for disgust, and that must have hit him like a ton of bricks. 

the grudge took time to form. it took the now adult kaeya years to stop idolizing him, to stop reporting to him, to understand that this man really was heartless and cruel and strictly goal-minded for the captain to severe the link connecting them. it took years, master crepus dying and him and diluc to separate before kaeya was fully ready to elbow his biological father out of his life. jesus.

not to mention the OTHER PEOPLE he involuntarily hurt?? courtesy of smth @uncrownedt linked me as a fanart, but master crepus holding tiny baby kaeya and looking out of the window wondering if his dad was ever going to take him back, to rip him away from the safety of the ragnividr mansion and bring him back who-knows-the-fuck-where, taking him away from baby diluc who loved his brother fiercely and his new adoptive dad. poor crepus must have spent plenty of years in anxiety that this was going to happen. because a man who abandons a child in the rain would have come to take him back for his uses just as easily. master crepus probably ordering adelinde to double-check that all the doors and windows were locked and checked on kaeya as he was sleeping quite often, just... you know. in case somebody was going to take him away again.

i don’t think that a man this pragmatic and cold took kaeya retiring from being ‘the hope of khaenri’ah’ well, so i raise another sad headcanon: kaeya having letters from his bio father, and those keep coming even today, one every few months. they’re filled with distante, venom, disappointment, lowkey insults, scathing questions, calling him ‘’the god’s brainwashed pet’’. completely dropped the ‘loving dad’ façade because he figured out he wasn’t working anyway. letters filled with verbal abuse, with manipulation, with anything horrid a parent can say to a child both out of desperation for their plans of glory sinking and utter HATRED for the child that kaeya was and still is

in extreme cases, kaeya has no problems in pretending that a person never existed and meant anything to him. it’s easy: he just has to erect bigger, stronger barriers around himself, and no matter how much the other person knocks on them and begs/orders to be readmitted in: kaeya’s mind has already scinded himself from them, to never return.

yet, he feels like this isn’t the last time he’ll hear of him.

kaeya HATES him; for his lost childhood, for the pragmaticism he was treated with, and for being related to that individual at all. he doesn’t KNOW why he had to be the one to endure this, khaenri’ah had plenty of adults more willing to do the dirty deed, but he was chosen and his life was revolutioned. and then he feels nothing at all towards him, because his father was and has always been master crepus. master crepus, with his warm hugs and smiles and acting a bit like a child himself around small kae and small luc. master crepus, who saved him from the cold of the rain and warmed him up in his arms until kaeya cried his little heart out one last time before acting as the spy. the cold man who he remembers from his childhood is NOT his father, so why bothering to feel anything towards him? this is the less angsty kaeya has ever been over something: it’s just gone, poof, out of his mind and out of his heart.

despite having cut his father off for the rest of his life, he keeps the letters sent to him without even reading most of them. his father taught him the lesson that trusting is for fools and love is easily given and taken away, and that people may turn to you in a second if you don’t follow their whims. that blood family is sometimes weaker than the adoptive one, and that a child, even the most cursed one, didn’t deserved this. he would hold his child self and comfort him, while hitting himself over the fact that he can’t alter the past

oh, and that kaeya never, never wants to be like him. but the pragmatic way of thinking has been instilled into him from a young age, comes like a second skin, and he HATES it deeply.

[farfarawaygirl]

Hey Emma,

Hope you’re feeling okay! The weather changes where I am isn’t being friendly to my migraines.

This episode just wasn’t good. I get that it was fine to some people and it made sense to some. For this one, it’s as if we don’t like it, we automatically get called for bad takes. I’ve seen a couple things today where people said that we could keep our bad takes inside our brains. That doesn’t fly, we’re entitled to an opinion too.

I thought we were making progress and we were getting some of the old Tim and Lucy back as individual characters.

I was wrong. Tim just didn’t seem like Tim. I know him and the subject of fathers don’t get along for good reason, but that doesn’t excuse how little he tried to help Lucy. Like “call your mom and have that hard conversation”. That’s common sense and Lucy probably already thought of that. Prickly!Tim during Isabel’s downfall would have been more helpful and supportive! He could have gone with her for moral and emotional support when she went to talk to Aunt Amy! He could have volunteered to help Lucy dig for info on social media. There’s so much more that Tim could have done. As a friend, he did the bare minimum.

Lucy broke my heart this time. That’s understandable considering the situation. Yet, no one picked up on it. Yes, Tim asked her if she was okay, but outside of that, no one really tried to be comforting towards her except Tamara.

All of this makes me miss Jackson more, he would have at least been there for Lucy.

Then we get to the whole Patrick thing. Seriously? The same name?

Thank you for checking in! Weather certainly knows how to mess up a brain.

Honestly, the thing that is most import here - is that we are all adults and as such, should respect each persons autonomy to have their own opinion about how they are feeling. Instead of just calling something a bad take, why not create an environment where discourse is both fun, and a little bit persuasive! I like a lively discussion, and really do think that most (not all - use your common sense to draw the line) takes, are a valid. For me, it all comes back to being critical of the media you consume - that absolutely includes understanding your perception, and your biases, as you take it in.

Feel free to quote me on this, telling someone to leave a take inside their brain is rude at best, (based on feedback I have decided to change a word here - this was done in the interest of transparency) needlessly antagonistic, dismissive and a whole host of other problematic things at worst. Genuinely, we could all stand to be kind to people, and I try (and fail) to do that in my life. I didn’t see anything like this, but I am not always in the tags these days! 

One cool/fun/super shippy take-away that I haven't seen discussed yet happened in the little conversation that Tim and Lucy shared when she got Patrick Walsh's name. I don't know if anyone else had caught this specific detail, but I did see it giffed (thank you gif makers!) - Tim, in the show, on duty, called Officer Chen, Lucy. I still get a kick out of this. Obviously, this sticks out to me the most! In an episode where I was not blown away by Tim, this little use of her first name was a nice surprise.

Tim was not his best self this episode, in a show where we have seen him make himself vulnerable, and seen him push the limit with Lucy, a half joke about Dilbert didn't move me. This is not a shipping issue, this is a character issue, because Tim has been radically inconsistent in season 4. He is soft one moment, buddy buddy, dismissive, eye-rolling - and yes, everyone can interrupt those actions differently, but for me, Tim has consistently missed the mark, and lost his edge. Not in a character growth kind of way, but in a writing discrepancy way. This may not be surprising as by season 4 some of the actor would have bled through into the character and in how the writers might view Tim. Not cataclysmic, but annoying.

Had the writers wanted, it would have been an easy insert to have Tim be in the Tamara roll - which leaves me wondering, do they not want that level of intimacy with Chenford now, or are they building something more with Tamara? Lucy lost her best friend this season, and her biggest emotional highs and lows have been with Tamara. I think there has to be a reason for that, even if I don't know what.

Is this the end of Patrick Walsh? Does this springboard us into a real Vanessa and Lucy conflict? Why do both of Lucy's dads have the same name? As always, I have so many questions.

Here are some of my Tamara questions - is she a surrogate sister, or best friend? Is Lucy reparenting herself through Tamara?

Thank you for this lovely, thoughtful, kind and honest ask. This made my day. As always, be critical if the media you consume, and be kind!