#is this ableism????

[furiousgoldfish]

got called 'too sensitive' today because I got offended at this situation:

I was minding my own business when a new roommate asked me where I was this morning, and I said at work. They asked what do I do for work (mind you we were living together for 2 weeks this is the first time they asked what I do), and I explained what I do. They commented on how quickly I got back from work, and I said, yeah, I can only work part-time because I'm chronically tired, and they started to make jokes about it, asking 'haha imagine if you had my job and had to work 8 hours' and I stopped them right there, saying 'I'm not able to earn properly, yes.'

Because it's just shitty to make fun of me for not being physically able to work full time, I already struggle to survive because of that, and this is not a person I know well, or feel comfortable joking around with.

And the conversation should have ended right there, but then they had to go and say 'it could be worse. you could be fully disabled' and I froze because I was not up for 'be grateful it isn't worse' talk and I immediately responded with 'it brings me no comfort to know people are struggling even worse, it only reminds me how painful it is for people to live on this planet' and then they didn't stop there, but went on to say 'I have a cousin that is autistic, she can't work even for an hour or anything, can't even make food for herself, and she'll probably end up living in a facility' and I froze completely there because what the hell. I can't imagine in a thousand years that an autistic person would want to be brought up in such a scenario, to make an otherwise disadvantaged person feel 'grateful that at least they're not autistic'. I can't even fathom bringing this up in a situation that compares one person's disadvantage to another's to point out how one has it worse and to shut the other down. I literally don't even talk about my exhaustion, I only mentioned it to answer a question! How did the situation demand this comparison!

I figured this was disrespectful both to me and to the autistic person who is brought up to be a representation of the 'worst case scenario'. Nobody deserves to be represented like that.

And I got offended. I complained to another roommate and they asked me 'who was insensitive here, you or the other roommate?' and I'm like 'how was I insensitive', and the roommate goes 'you didn't understand that the roommate was only trying to comfort you that it could be worse.'

And now that pissed me off even worse. Would you get upset, both on your own behalf and on the behalf of the autistic person who got brought up, with zero respect to their humanity? Or is this just acceptable behaviour for people? On top of struggling I have to listen how it could be worse, and of course, the fully abled are never brought in on that comparison, it's only to make me feel like I don't have the right to speak when prompted.

[2003-playground]

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

[animentality]

[canonkiller]

I just think everyone should take a moment to consider the question "what is your visual shorthand for cruelty?" and then follow it up with a critical "and who taught you that?"

specific examples include but are not limited to

why is an evil timeline character design disabled? (why do the heroes go through equally punishing battles and never lose an arm, a leg, an eye?)

why are the futuristic scifi terrorists uniformly darker skinned? (why are the heroes so much lighter?)

why is the greedy boss fat? (why are the heroes skinny?)

why is the criminal mastermind heavily scarred? (why is the brooding, traumatized hero unscathed?)

why is the predatory creep a bearded person in a dress and makeup? (why are none of the heroes trans women?)

who taught you that this is how things are?

how long do you plan on repeating it?

[compassionatereminders]

The worst thing is that there is so much potential for exploring the horror of psych wards from the angle of medical abuse, ableism, forced treatment/drugging, loss of autonomy, power imbalance, demonization, dehumanization, etc, and YET the horror genre keeps defaulting to "insane asylums and psych wards are scary because there are mentally ill people in there"

[skipppppy]

“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.

You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are

[crippled-peeper]

“ew thick water gross and weird” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!! “ew why buy pre-cut vegetables when you can cut your own” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!!! “I don’t need a device to help me put my socks on I’m not lazy” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU !!!!!!!!! “Why drink liquid meals when you can cook them” ITS!!!!! NOT!!!!!! FOR!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!

[jokerjokinghahaha]

Call now to recieve help with the inability to make phone calls!

Fill out this forum to receive assistance with your difficulty filling out forms

Come on down to our center thats two hours away so we can give assistance with your inability to walk or drive

There's help out there! You're just not trying hard enough!

[disableddyke]

[icarusinfreefall]

reminder that adhd medication isn't a luxury or preference, but a lifesaving medication. a 10 year long study in the usa showed that, when properly medicated, the rate of car crashes people with adhd get into goes down significantly--men's rate drops by 38%, and women's by 42%. the med shortage, denial of meds by doctors, rising prices, and the "war on drugs" has killed--with such a car dependent society, not driving frequently isn't an option, which means we need better healthcare and need it now.

https://shorturl.at/8VD8B

edit because i forgot to explain: short link is to an article by the washington post, it should be free to read

[some-pers0n]

Saw a thread on Twitter of "gifts to give a person with ADHD and autism" that was full of stereotypical and quite frankly patronizing items, so here's a list of I (autistic individual) want instead as a gift

Money

Fourteen billion dollars

Free coupon to kill somebody with my teeth

Suitcase full of money

Cool looking rock

Scratching post for me to sink my claws into

An albino elephant

The head of Jeff Bezos mounted on my wall

Uncooked rice

A cup full of blood

100k in cash

[auschizm]

"Autism traits that are actually advantages-" Hey guys did you know that the problem with eugenics and ableism is the act of assigning different degrees of worth and moral value to different people and abilities and not that we were simply attacking the "wrong" group?

[smoov-criminal]

we need to stop equating lack of independence with lack of maturity. people that live with their parents or have a caregiver or don't work or need more support than others aren't inherently immature. there's lots of reasons why people would be in this situation, even outside of disability (plenty of cultures out there expect people to live with their parents past what we consider the beginning of adulthood), and regardless of the reason we deserve support and community through what is already likely to be an isolating experience. don't make it worse for us

[creature-wizard]

Since the r-slur is making a comeback (you know, the word that starts with R, has six letters, and ends in D), I'm gonna make a little PSA:

Yes, it's an ableist slur.

Terms like "asshat," "head-up-ass," "up their own ass," and "high on their own farts" exist. There's also words like crap, dogshit, half-assed, assclown, and chucklefuck. And on the less vulgar side, there are terms like ridiculous, nonsense, train wreck, pointless, insipid, self-absorbed, pretentious, annoying, boring, contemptible, vile, and disgusting.

Substituting words like restarted, poptarted, brain damaged, smoothbrain, etc. is still ableist, because either 1. you obviously still mean the r-word, or 2. you're still using disability as an insult.

[spooniestrong]

[beaft]

it is legit bizarre to me how hard video game creators and film directors and showrunners try to pretend that fat people don't exist. can you think of the last time you saw a fat person in a lead role? god forbid a fat woman? i can walk down the street or go into a shop or restaurant and see fat people everywhere but then i switch on the tv and suddenly it's like a glimpse into an alternate universe where no one has a bmi over 24. insidious and weird