#is this a little depressing? yes.
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The pain of wanting to do something for myself but my whole childhood all I did was worry about money so now I don’t feel okay spending money unless I’m buying something for someone else
#have spent like 200 dollars on my brothers in the last month buying shit for their game and soon I’m going to be buying them mw3#and I’m fine with it but the moment my hoy con breaks for my switch I feel like shit for needing another one#would rather see if I could fix it myself first#but I couldn’t so I bought a new set of eBay cause I got two brand new ones for the price of one on Amazon#my main reasoning in my brain is that it’s for my birthday so it’s fine#random0lover rambling ♡#vent#is this a little depressing? yes.#am I going to still complain about it on the internet? also yes.
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no time to celebrate
#drew this thinking their bdays were during night yorb summer for some reason#i went looking for the clip midway and when i saw it was the other way around i kinda died a little inside#BUT I AM NOTHING IF NOT COMMITTED !!!!#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#so anyways we can pretend this is a time quangle thing yes yes#they fall asleep making the solar lasso and no one has it in them to wake them up (esp riz)#so the rest of the bad kids leave them stuff for when they wake up#joint birthday party is real and depressing ! but not really ! the power of friendship is still very real#dont ask me the logistics of the hangvan interior ill die#i dont wanna thnk about this piece anymore it aged me 10 years#my art
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yesterday late night sketch i did of naru that i really liked bc of the shapes and she came out so cute (ft sena also)
#enstars#arashi narukami#izumi sena#doodles#feeling a little depressed these days (health issues mainly) but listening to naru's solo really cheered me up a bit yesterday#'yes i will live for myself and wake up and believe in myself and be a greedy prince(ss)' you're so right thank u etc etc
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N2 Floyd in the first movie
Sad little man got himself captured :(
He also gets punched in the face, but that's neither here nor there lmao
Also sorry for not posting for a fat minute I've been busy XD
Bonus: What John and Branch be doing
RIP in pieces John Dory, you were a brave troll and will be missed
I've got some more doodles of them going through it in the first movie, maybe we will see them soon teehee .
#my art#trolls au#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls 3#trolls john dory#trolls floyd#trolls branch#trolls oc#n2 au#not the only one au#ye floyd is singing that song from DBH#its a good song#and he also cant hue shift cuz depression and stress#that little sketch of bridget was the first time ive drawn her#shes so freaking cute#she reminds me of my aunt#also someone seems to recognize floyds little angry face#i wonder why#hehe#i say having out the reason why in the picture#john and Branch are also going through it#cuz in the dream this originates from jd legit tried to throw hands with a whole ass bergen#and loses obviously but he tried and thats all that matters#branch is just losing brothers by the second#hes obvi gonna assume Floyds already dead and then JD is family guy death posing in front of him#but he still goes out to help poppy#cuz john asked and hes also in love with poppy so he wouldve gone eventually either way#and he doesnt want floyd to get left behind 🥺#like a certain green someone hehe
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Little saying in 'Horrible from Supper' that he never wants to feel ice under his boots again after leading the advance trek to land.
I propose to you the standard rescue AU, back in London, people celebrating the standard Victorian Christmas with snowfall, what jolly good fun, how exciting, how simply splendid, all of London turned into a winter wonderland - all except for Edward Little who is having a panic attack on the sidelines from such a simple sensation returning him to those moments and struggling even to enjoy this simple joy now.
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anyways speaking of like. femininity affecting mirages behavior i want 2 talk abt her conformity to the norm
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so here i find a really interesting relationship between the way mirage presents herself and the way she navigates the world. like its always been fascinating to me how mirage's identity as a woman, as the prettiest girl in town, is entirely performance. look here for a second:
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in these two bits, mirage plays up her femininity to to the player's perception of her. mirage knows that the player doesn't know her well enough to have a strong opinion and quickly jumps to playing into one of two things when you first meet her. if you're generally nice to her, she leans into self-aggrandizement and almost uses her title/reputation as "the prettiest girl" like a tool to feel better about herself. if you're rude, she ramps up her aggression and leans Hard into the insults.
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but all of these are just very exaggerated performance of what mirage believes she should be. it's pretty easy to tell that most of mirage's insults aren't really rooted in actual anger towards you - she's just pissed at you but she'll forgive easily. like you can choose to aggrieve her (refusing to help her up) and then immediately step back (admit you're lost too) and her mood fluctuates with yours. also she quite directly says that "Blowing off steam is just how [she] cope[s]"
so we know that mirage's anger is mostly her way of avoiding the despair and internal pain that comes with her nihilism. BUT what about her femininity? how does her presentation affect or indicate her character? ok see here
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mirage says she doesn't care about school. she cares about nothing and nothing matters, she's gotten to the point where she doesn't give a damn what others think of her. basically, mirage is at a point in her life where she doesn't care about herself. her aggressive attitude probably pushes people away, her academics certainly aren't a priority. maybe she's the prettiest girl in town, but this only references what she looks like and never what she Feels like. her whole persona is the true mirage.
therefore i interpret mirage being in a schoolgirl outfit, her title as the prettiest girl, her referral to herself as a fair maiden, and her entire presentation of femininity as a representation of her being stuck in her ways. (in the story, at least. of course mirages physical appearance is a riff on dating sim tropes, but i think that the schoolgirl outfit is too interesting to be forgotten when it comes to her personality and character)
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it's clear that mirage is unhappy. it's clear that her nihilistic perspective has made her devalue herself. so i think she continues to wear the schoolgirl outfit and go to school and use her title because she's unable to break free of what's been set out for her.
i think personally that mirage's character is all about being stuck. stuck in your view of the world, stuck in your lifestyle, stuck in a town you hate surrounded by people you hate going to a school you hate. mirage is about needing to be pulled out of the haze that is total despair, and you (as the player character) are meant to do exactly that.
so to me, mirage's outfit and reliance on the classic version of femininity just emphasizes how she is stuck. mirage doesn't know how to get out of her societal role as the prettiest girl. she continues to act as this specific version of what a girl is, she continues to dress as a schoolgirl and go to school because she believes she has to. she enjoys none of it, but it's okay if she rationalizes it as "all of life is supposed to be painful anyways". with mirage's acceptance of the world's meaninglessness, she also accepts the idea that she has to be a girl in this specific way. and it sucks for her
#pig originals#idk if this makes any sense i have to go like. work and shit now but holy fuck mirages outfit and demeanor#ARE SO IMPORTANT!!! and its a little sad to me to see them used as props for funny joke so often#lol this schoolgirl is depressed. YES i know! have you considered how her identity as a schoolgirl contributes to her utter despair?
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#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#a little#isat loop#a little too#sorry from always coming back into your feed#my mind is a machine that turnes energy and depression into hyperfixations#oh yes cat sif is the most pathetic creature ever#in pos light you know
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adrift
#FORGOT TO POST HERE. yes ill post a science experiment of an art piece w a dramatic caption. who do u think i am this is my BRAND#i am nothing if not consistent. and dramatic. and this boy's mom. i love him#i do stuff like this sometimes to go 110% in the loose direction to remind my hands they can do that#my art style leans stiffer and exercises like squiggles are good for muscle memory and exploring new expression its fun#i can draw a million different art styles if i must but i want the default to have a lil more flow yaknow. (that rhymes <3)#ill never get over how fun the imagery potential of his little miserable depression map moment is. the white hexagons of woe#tastee#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#suntails
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It’s crazy how expendable all the crew members were to the Pony Express.
A 30% chance that your shipment would be lost. Cargo and crew are inseparable if we are to believe the shitty layout of the Tulpar. People use it because it’s cheap. The labor is cheap. The lives are cheap.
They are all relatively easy to forget about. It’s implied Anya and Curly don’t have many friends or much family to be concerned about them back home. She mentions nothing and no one to fall back on and he feels like wasted his life with the company. Jimmy probably only has Curly, otherwise people wouldn’t care or ask. Of course Daisuke and Swansea have family’s but Swansea thinks poorly of his and Daisuke’s poorly of him. All people in the companies eyes that wouldn’t stir up too much trouble if they became part of the 30%.
It makes it so much sadder because that ladder they were climbing was so small and shitty. There were rungs, ranks, but even the highest was barely off the ground. Jimmy wanted to reach the top of something that was brutally cut off and knocked everyone else off just to not see it.
#like yes curly was slightly better off but he’s not getting a severance package he’s a top show pony to the company#but they will just shoot him if he becomes a horse with a broken leg#Anya was likely picked cause she had enough knowledge but not enough to concretely call malpractice and Swansea was already a cog in the mix#he was an alcoholic getting back on the straight n narrow he needed it Daisuke is forced on the trip and eager to prove himself#Jimmy also need the job and got it from nepotism and won’t care as long as he’s paid#complains but yknow and Curly likely doesn’t do much but work he’s like a perfect little face man and he kinda hates it#like it’s a misconception that he was bored at the top or he needed a new ladder because he was done with this one he literally is miserable#and feels like he unfulfilled and doing nothing with his life as he’s ONLY successful in his work like he has nothing else#which makes it so mad cause Jimmy saw Curly as this guy with a perpetual golden goose but he’s just like them#like shiny gold appearances aside he’s like the second saddest like next to Anya because shes like depressed#because yknow she’s a victim but she had hopeful and happy determined prospects like Curly is just sad with his life and Swansea is chilling#like he’s made his peace even if he’s not like clicking his heals and Jimmy is less sad more angry#he’s a sad mans tho like he’s like Dan vs to me#mouthwashing#the pony express#mouthwashing game#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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charles rowland please for the love of all things good KEEP EDWIN AWAY FROM MAURICE
#IK HE WOULD LIKE THE WOULD LIKE THE HAPPY ENDING I AM NOT REFERRING TO THAT!!!!!#GUYS THIS ISNT ABOUT THE ENDING FYI it’s about the hypnosis scene#while yes there is a happy ending it’s still so depressing#and it would hit a little too close to home for edwin#dbda#dead boy detective agency#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin paine#edwin payne#why did they change the spelling of his last name tho#edwin x charles#payneland#that scene makes ME cry like maurice looks like he’s in pain
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I heard we‘re redrawing the neki owo
#tg#ken kaneki#tokyo ghoul#kaneki ken#draw kaneki again#haku's art#my intention was drawing him kind of dead/vacant#a little unsettling (though I can never resist also making him pwetty)#the way that Ishida drew shironeki in his bio#yk where he looks like the definition of depression itself#yes#painting on one layer is so fun#im glad I started doing that#do you see the centipede
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/98a25f99626ac9d88ea6b21d3d3e620d/e74257126677abca-3b/s540x810/df542cbc61635170b78750af1ee7bf75a7a021bf.jpg)
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mafuyu brainrot
#yes this is numb by linkin park#did you know that animals avoiding her is canon?? yeah it is#she's also one and only character to see ghosts. isn't it fascinating#my little depression blob#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#niigo#25 ji nightcord de#proseka#mafuyu asahina
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what little i still know about re and what fun little facts i've seen about leon made me wanna do a "what if leon, but b.o.w"
#resident evil#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#i saw something about leon being the most likely to be killed off bcuz he's loved#and the devs love to bully the hell out of him#and also the thing that happened in jill in re5#so like what if leon got weaponized lol#yes he's designed like the shape of the las plagas symbol :)#he's so cute as a little monster man#i was gonna design him older but i have yet to play re6#i just know he's depressed in that game
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yeah the big bad wolf and little red riding hood falling in love and getting married and having a family is all cute and sweet until you think about the fact that they’ll have to watch their daughters try to kill each other, and one of them will succeed
#i’ve always loved their storyline#cause YES go against destiny#but like :(#they did kind of set it up so that cerise has to kill her sister which is incredibly depressing#cerise hood#ramona badwolf#little red riding hood eah#bad wolf eah#ever after high#eah#angelsaysshit
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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Inquisitor!Brea is one of my favorite angsty AUs cause I can just SEE how the drama would unfold, especially being one of the universes where Kepler actually lives 0u0 certainly that has nothing to do with her speech bubble!
(Taglist + alternate hairstyle under the cut)
Taglist♡: @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus
@changeling-selfship @crushes-georg @cherry-bomb-ships @rosieaurora @rejaytionships @sunflawyer @in-true-blue-love
@tropicalgothships @little-miss-selfships @hotrodharts @cupiidzbow @frozenhi-chews @limey-self-inserts @candyheartedchy
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self insert community#self ship community#star wars#star wars the clone wars#star wars inquisitor#inquisitor oc#🌟 brea callisto 🌟#🪐 kepler quinn 🪐#i know hes not actually in this art but cmon AS IF IT WASNT OBVIOUS#i have SUCH A GOOD SCENARIO IN MY HEAD THAT HURTS SO MUCH 😭😭😭#i would make a comic and ive been good lately but im not THAT good#i need a little rest. especially since ive been kinda depressed lately :/#am i indulging in the angstiest of my aus bevause of that?? maybe#idk it just feels good when the ache is for story purposes#anyways YEAH in this au kepler escapes order 66 and brea DOESNT but she also doesnt die...#and yes rex is ALSO around for this au#thats a whole other can of worms that i wanna talk about too!!#imperial rex 0u0 but hes a spy!!#rex gets to be fulcrum this time hehe
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