#is there even anyone left who wants to read these lmao. i mean other than nana since she was creeping my 2022 styling posts

[sanstropfremir]

ok nana unsubtly kicked me in the ass about this and i realized they were mostly done anyways so here we go! only four months late!

best stylings 2023 - first half

runners' up

rising - triples

there are two good stages with funky athletic wear, but it wasn't enough to bump it up to the overall category. mcountdown 230216, the show 230221

abyss - woodz

didn't promote it which is a shame, but the variety in the costuming for the different versions of himself is well done and it's a beautifully shot bottle mv.

moody - superkind

you got a fake member you gotta make it spooky!!! he's not real that's inherently spooky!!! anyways this is what i wanted them to do right off the bat some i'm glad they finally got my psychic memo.

golden hour - mark

absolutely fucking crazy. fantastic imagery. i think i talked about it earlier in the year but it's such a stupid and hilarious idea to make a whole diss track mv about a several year old meme and then actually make it strange and weird art. obsessed with it still.

sos - kang daniel

i'm also including the wasteland music sequence here because holy shit when this dropped i lost my mind. i'm always surprised by what kang daniel does bc i can never predict it, which over the last few years i'm coming to enjoy. and i absolutely did not expect him to produce basically an entire wild west mad max movie with equal the production value???? literally how did he do this. how. and then everyone paid it dirt??? it's an amazing mv and one of my faves of the year, the only reason it's not bumped up categories is bc although the styling was actually one of the only times tactical gear has been thematically relevant to a cb, its been so overused that it has no punch anymore, which makes me sad bc the tactical gear was good! and a good choice! and i feel bad saying it has no punch bc it should have!

small talk - kim sungkyu

we love when sungkyu acknowledges that he's annoying and a loser. all these outfits were so losercore. i loved this deviation from form for him; he's normally king wailer supreme, but he does smooth upbeat rock very well and it's a nice contrast with the capital y yearning that's in the bsides. it's only here bc he didn't promote much and i'm mad at him for putting dancing in the mv and then not dancing in any of the stages. mcountdown 230629, music core 230708, inkigayo 230709

ay-yo - nct 127

this is just here for taeyong's urchin outfit. well i'm a bit of liar it is actually a really fun early 00s inspired mv, but we all know the urchin outfit stole the show.

stamp on it - got the beat

i will hear NO slander against got the beat in this house, this was a great mv i love hot women planning a heist.

tricky house - xikers

FANTASTIC debut. does a really great job of establishing a character for them as a group and it's got such unique flavour. kq has made great use of their ateez money and also the lessons that they learned with ateez. i'm excited to see where xikers goes in the future, and since i'm writing this section from the future i can say that i do like where they've gone with full confidence. the only reason it didn't make the top list is bc the styling is kinda average for this era of kpop.

best overall

rose blossom - h1 key

i was aware of h1key before this but they hadn't really grabbed me, but damn this cb was so good. the mv is a nice mix of story and dance sections. plus a surreal section in the middle! and by virtue of being like the first cb of the year, they got the jump on this alt girl look that would be the dominating look for ggs this year. and i do think first did it best in this case, all the looks are smart with good group synergy and and a lot of creativity; when you do this type of alt-y punky style it's important that there's a diy element to it, which a lot of groups fail to grasp bc stylists are obsessed with luxury branding. h1key manages to avoid that mostly by being flops, but i'd like to believe its also bc their creative team cared about capturing the true spirit of the style.

stages: music bank 230106, mcountdown 230202, music bank 230203, mcountdown 230119, inkigayo 230108

tic tac - 8turn

honestly i was kinda ready to not like these guys since mnh shat the bed with chungha, but then i remembered that the mnh creative team is very good at their jobs, so here we are. this is one of the few debuts/cbs this year where every single stage was a hit and it was very hard to narrow down to just a few for here; lots of good emphasis on shape and colour and accent pieces with repeated motifs, which was a big part of the fashion in the 00s that they are remixing here. very strong debut especially for so early in the year and i'm looking forward to more.

stages: show champion 230208, mcountdown 230202, music bank 230203, show champion 230222, music core 230211, mcountdown 230223, music core 230225, inkigayo 230226

bonus: this absolutely hysterical 4minute cover (they even got the name bucket hats! not in the stage, but they had them in photos)

sweet juice - purple kiss

i'm not normally a fan of wes anderson or wes anderson inspired aesthetics because i find them too twee and perfect, but this wasn't too direct in it's inspirations and definitely had the spooky purki flavour. i really liked the uniformity of the costuming, both literally using uniform motifs and using the same fabrics; i really do miss the days when kpop costumes were design to actually be costumes with the group image in mind.

stages: mcountdown 230216, inkigayo 230219, music core 230225, music bank 230224, inkigayo 230226, music core 230304, inkigayo 230305

sour & sweet - bambam

bambam again proving that he's one of the few idols that knows his shit in terms of interesting styling. also if anyone knows where he filmed the mv/performance vid please tell me i need to know bc its so beautiful.

stages: mcountdown 230330, music bank 230331, inkigayo 230402, music bank 230407, music core 230408, inkigayo 230409,

bsides: music bank 230331, inkigayo 230409,

macarena - blitzers

i'm so so so glad blitzers got a bit more attention this year bc they deserve it and macarena was so good. perfect culmination of their goofy ass talents and the unusual creativity of their performance + creative directors. i'm even linking the mv teaser here bc its so goofy and offbeat and different. honestly i'd recommend watching as many of the stages as you can find bc they do different intros every time and it's very funny, but unfortunately tumblr has a link limit so i can't link them all.

stages: show champion 230426, music bank 230428, music core 230429, inkigayo 230430, inkigayo 230514, music core 230527

bouncy - ateez

yea yea yea nobody is surprised so sue me. this was a crazy followup to halazia and proved that ateez can deftly switch between serious dramatic performance and comedic but no less dramatic. i'm very happy to see how much work has been going into the main ateez mvs in the last year because it has very clear and striking direction that fits both their performance style and their creative ambition, as well as their growth as a group. also yea i'm not immune to neon cowboy shit.

stages: inkigayo 230618, music bank 230616, the show 230620, mcountdown 230622, music bank 230623, mcountdown 230629, music core 230701, inkigayo 230702

kick it 4 now - tnx

tnx had an absolutely banging 2023 and although kick it 4 now is has superior and more comprehensive production, love or die is also a very good cb, and both of them together have shown that they have a really good grasp on the genre of teen listlessness, from two different directions. kick it 4 now has been i think the most successful cb to actually capture the feel of first gen, and the creative team did a lot of extra work in order to pull that off. from all the graphic design to the goofy lil 90s style music show promos, to the styling, they had a clear goal and achieved it. i think it will be quite difficult for any other group to pull it off this thoroughly.

stages: music bank 230609 (the giant lyrics!!!), music core 230610, show champion 230614 (more giant lyrics!!), music core 230617, mcountdown 230622

shooting star + left right - xg

we all already know that left right was my most listened song this year, but the fact that the mv was b movie sci fi star trek themed? it's like simon made everything about this specifically for me thank you. xg blew everyone out of the water this year on every front; music, styling, choreography, you name it. i said i wanted groups to commit to their bits and i got it. they were completely unafraid to actually commit to the y2k nostalgia AND to harajuku styling; a lot of groups have weakly pawed at it but always back away due to the fact that harajuku and y2k are not actually 'pretty' fashion trends, which leaves their attempts half assed with no real understanding of why and how those trends happened. xg came saw and conquered the current trend in a way that only a japanese gg can do. my only annoyance is that they tone down the stylings when they promote on music shows, and i know why they do it, so it's not an annoyance at them, it's an annoyance at everyone else.

stages: shooting star - mcountdown 230202, con-tour 230217, the show 230221, inkigayo 230212, inkigayo 230205, con-tour 230224

left right - the show 230228, show champion 230222

circle - onew

absolute masterpiece. album of the year in every way. it's a profoundly beautiful unpacking of grief and the sadness that comes with acknowledging that things change, and the way that in that change life and humanity and story is eternal. a circle. the theatre imagery combined with the 60s style children's tv show use their similar but contrasting forms to illustrate the same point: something can be eternal and fleeting at the same time, and that heightens its value rather than diminishing it. the promo campaign was so thought out as well, i love the integration of the theatre imagery into the highlight medley and i highly recommend you watch it if you haven't. one of the best cbs from a solo artist in years.

stages: mcountdown 230309, music core 230311, music bank 230317, inkigayo 230319

--

ignore the fact this was almost five months late even though i started writing in like. november. i'm busy ok. it's planting season and i have to send so much post. the choreos post is the next most finished so that will probably be out before the styling second half one.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Sinners Remmick x male reader (preferably poc) where is a singer at the juke joint and Remmick sees him and tries to seduce him lmao. But male reader is low-key insecure of his singing tallent + kind of shy and Remmick finds out and is like "????? what do you mean" because male reader is like so good at music, and Remmick has to uplift him lmao.

you can make thiss smutty if your up to it

Remmick x POC male reader 

Headcanons 

Hate to admit, I dont know much about POC culture in America. I'm European, and we barely even mention America in history class. This also means I don't know a lot about African American culture, especially during the 30s and in the south. 

This means I won't be mentioning a whole lot about the times, cuz I don't know enough about it, and I wouldn't want to be disrespectful. I would love to read about it though, if yall know any good sources. 

Not as smutty as I had hoped, but hope it's good anyways 

You knew the Smokestack twins, as much as anyone around here did. Maybe you even knew them a little more than most, enough to know the truth about their father. 

Music had always saved you when times got tough. It started out as you simply singing to yourself, humming tunes that came from somewhere deep within. Then it became a harmonica that Stack had stolen as a gift. 

From there it advanced further, flutes, a banjo, a guitar, over the years you even learned the piano, and more devilish instruments, if Sammies father had to be believed. 

Music was all you had though, be it during the war you were drafted into it, and when you returned to the state to learn your mother had died, leaving you on your own. You didn't sing much anymore though, in public at least. 

You were still close with Annie after all this time, and you two would sing together at times. There were times she invited you over to sing for the very fact that you seemed to call only the good and wanted spirits. 

Part of you wanted to be mad when Smoke and Stack appeared, dressed as finely as they were and speaking of opening a juke joint of all things. For leaving, and all that. 

Stack had always been able to sweet talk you though, and when Sammie jumped into their truck, you followed, lugging your own guitar with you. It was old and patched in many places, but you loved that thing. 

The party was in full swing, and everything felt so alive. When you and Sammie sang together it felt spiritual, like something you couldn't put into words. It was an otherworldly experience. 

One that left you sweating and your legs shaky. It was easy to stumble over towards where Annie was serving up drinks, to let Sammie embrace all the attention for now. 

You were already known as the guy who could play most instruments, and could sing like his life depended on it, but that was all you could do. And even then, you never felt like it was good enough. 

You had been distracted with your drink and conversation to know what had happened at the door, of the white folk who claimed to hear your singing and had felt compelled to join. 

You hadn't caught how Remmick had craned his neck, trying to look above or around the group blocking his vision, trying to find “that other beautiful voice”, after he had paid attention to Sammie. 

Whatever Smoke saw on his face, he didn't like, and he had been itching to grab for his gun. It made an uncomfortable clammy feeling run down his spine, like it was something he wasn't meant to see. 

When the strangers left, the party returned to what it had been before, for the most part. You were still sweating and woozy, your shirt sticking to your back under the strap of your guitar. 

It was then that you decided that you needed some fresh air, all these people were making you itchy, and everything was starting to be too much. 

You waved at Stack and Mary as you passed them, giving them both a look up and down as if saying “just get on with it you two” as you trotted outside. Cornbread patted you on the back as you passed, as in his words, it had been too long since you let yourself go like that. 

Seeing the three white folks seated out by the front made you slow down though, there was something off about them. You were still far enough away so that you couldn't see Remmick's nostrils flare, or the way his pupils expanded at the sight of you. 

You were always weary when you knew you needed to be, you couldn't play white like Mary could. Somehow you still found yourself waved over, sitting down on the log beside the man you learned was named Remmick. 

“You must've been that other voice we heard all the way out here. You have a real gift” he said, voice almost reverent as he leaned in just a little closer, eyes boring into you in a way that made your hair stand on end. 

“Oh, nah. I'm not that good, it's all Sammie” you laugh, feeling flushed as you look down, hands messing with the strap of your guitar. Compliments always made your skin crawl, it didn't feel like you deserved them. 

“No, it was all you. Compared to him, you? You were like an angel” he exhaled, voice raw and raspy like a church goer who had been praying all day and night, Remmick's hand touching your upper back. 

Joan and Bert melted away into the night, not that you noticed, too busy staring at your feet as Remmick saddled closer, both his hands sliding over your body as he came so close. 

His breath was strangely metallic, it reminded you of the smell of old nails, or how it felt to chew on a fork for too long. “You bewitch me, how do you do it?” was murmured, his voice feeling... more. 

You should have gotten up, yelled, ran back inside the juke joint, anything. Not only were the both of you men, but he was white, it just made no sense. 

But still, Remmick's lips brushed against your neck, a shaky audible groan leaving him as he inhaled you. You couldn't have known that he was also feeling your racing pulse against his lips, and how it made him yearn and ache. 

“Sing for me?” he asked, voice thick like honey as he started kissing down your neck, Remmick's hands pulling your guitar into your own. It was sensual, the way he guided your fingers to the strings, intimate and heady. 

It was almost impossible to form words, this all felt like some kind of wild dream as Remmick's hands so expertly undid your belt and buttons, the Irishman sliding to his knees in front of you. 

Your eyes flicked from his burning look, towards the juke joint not that far away, but even as Remmick kissed at your growing hardness, nobody seemed any wiser. 

“Come on. Please? I'm on my knees beggin you and everything” he rasped, tongue flicking against your wet tip like one would a popsicle. 

All you could get out was a breathless yelp as he swallowed you down whole. Some sick part of your brain reminded you of a time where you saw a snake swallow a rat whole, that was the fervor he gulped you down with. 

Remmick held you there, throat flexing around you as he stared up at you, eyes so intense and unblinking, waiting for you to do as he asked. Sing, give him what he wants and needs so badly. 

Your fingers were shaking as you strummed the strings of your guitar. This was all wrong, this couldn't be real, but Remmick's mouth was so slick and hungry around you as the shaky words left your throat. 

If you had had any past experience, you might have noticed that his tongue was too flexible, or his mouth was too cold. It wasn't icy, but clammy, like waking up with a cold sweat.  

And it was wet, so incredibly sloppy and wet. Hearing and feeling him try to slurp up all his frothy drool around your length as you struggled to form verses and play your tongue was downright demonic. 

It seemed the more you sang, the hungrier he got. If you hadn't been shaking in your boots you might have worried about Remmick choking himself with how he gagged you down, his hands gripping the back of your thighs like a lifeline. 

There was no way the noises you were letting out sounded good, and the clumsy twitching of your fingers ruined any tune you tried, but it lit an unseen fire inside the man sucking the soul out of you, so you kept trying. 

Had you not been sitting down, you would surely have collapsed as you tumbled over the edge, your fingers scrambling at your guitar as your body locked up, a half-formed verse melting into an embarrassingly loud moan. 

But no matter how loud you got, nobody inside or outside the juke joint seemed to notice what you two had been up too, even as Remmick audibly gulped your release down, moaning like it was ambrosia and honey mixed into one. 

You hugged onto your guitar, like a blanket you would hug for comfort, as Remmick pulled back, moving slowly enough that you could feel the tight clenching of his throat a last time. 

“See? Gorgeous. Perfect” he gurgled against your thigh, looking at you the same way a cat looked at a mouse, licking your seed of his spit-soaked lips as he rose to his feet. 

“You just need to see it from my point of view, then you will see how great you are. Hold still for me” he whispered, moving closer until his lips hovered above your neck again. 

“W-whuh?” you get out, head still all steamy and thoughts all jumbled, your soft spit shiny length still hanging out of your slacks, trying to understand what had even just happened. 

You barely felt his lips kiss your neck before he struck, tearing into your sweaty salty neck like a vulture upon a carcass. Your scream as cut off with a gurgle as he pushed you back, pinning you against the ground as he feasted upon you. 

You should have trusted your gut, as much as you loved Smoke and Stack, they always brought trouble. It had never been like this though, being feasted on by a man who had just feasted on you in another way, just to hear you sing. 

A thought passed through your mind as everything was turning dark. Would you still be able to sing after the way Remmick ripped into your neck? But that was a dumb thought, you wouldn't need your voice anymore after you died. Right? 

[highhhfiveee]

the legend of fwb!sae itoshi continues! happy thursday! 🫶🏽

cw. angst (violence, arguments), smut (small mentions of previous encounters), fluff (y/n + karasu being cute and nervous).

wc. around 4k

an. sae itoshi, you will pay for your crimes.

previously: 1 | 2 | 2.5 | 3

your current location: the somewhat stuffy living room of rensuke kunigami, joining team blue lock and their legion of fans in celebrating their win against the U20s. it’d been a week or so since the actual game, but the intoxicating spirit of victory had yet to die out.

that notification on your phone all that time ago had been a complete blindside, leading you to this moment. a dm from a friend of yours, reading, the soccer players love you, huh?

under the message was a screenshot of her conversation with tabito karasu, who you’d seen play (and lose) against sae a few times. you’d recalled his physical features: spiky hair tinged purple, piercing blue eyes with a cute mole right below the left one. you’d also conjured a memory of his assertiveness on the field, how smoothly he led and took control…

yo

i can't stop thinking about your friend from the bar

what friend?

the pretty one you were with a few days ago who drank nothing but whiskey and coke

i need her

lmao RELAX!

if you need her so bad, why didn't you talk to her?

idk i got nervous

plus you didn't even introduce us

rude

tabito you could have anyone you want and you were nervous to talk to her????

plus you're a grown man!!! introduce yourself motherfucker!!

leave me alone this time okay, her beauty intimidated me…a lot

do you know if she's seeing anyone?

i'll give her your number and you can ask her yourself, how about that?

yes yes yes please oh thank you god

you were quick to reply, if he’s anything like sae, keep him away from me!

your thumbnail felt the rage of your teeth as you watched the three dots flicker over your screen.

it hadn't even been a full day since sae's rejection; the freshness of it all had you cynical towards talking to anyone, let alone another soccer player that was in his orbit. birds of a feather flock together and all that, and the prospect had you unnerved as your friend sent, he’s a good guy, give him a shot if you wanna xxx-xxx-xxxx.

you'd thought about giving it time, letting yourself refresh your mind with some sleep and a sae-free day, but karasu's adamance towards you had fascinated.

hi hi

i heard you needed me? (:

you and karasu hit it off immediately, talking about any and everything until the tangerine sunrise began spilling through your bedroom curtains. you felt like a teenager again, kicking your feet and giggling at how effortless your conversation was.

karasu had been so considerate and attentive through text, replying fairly quickly despite the time of day, and talking more about you than himself among other things.

even the unwanted inevitable conclusion of your exchange was filled to the brim with want and compassion, leaving you with a thwacking heartbeat and flimsy limbs.

you need your rest, beautiful. i’m sorry i kept you up

i didn't want it to seem like a booty call, i was just so lost in thought about you

i couldn't sleep, which is embarrassing

booty call was a thought i had, yes, but you've proven otherwise

plus, i chose to stay up and talk to you. i'm glad i did

i don’t usually do this sort of thing so you must be special

special enough to take you out soon? (:

hmmmm

does soon mean...later today after i’m done with work, all dolled up and ready to tear into some seafood?

if that's your definition, absolutely (: i’ll see you tonight darling

you were an absentminded mess on the clock that day, lost in thought regarding your newfound spontaneity. never had things fallen into place like this, so uncomplicated that you were committed to moving quickly; even more shockingly, you'd already begun to heal the wound that sae had left in your chest.

karasu was nothing short of a gentleman, if not the most chivalrous man you'd ever met in your entire life. he'd greeted you at your front door with a polite knock, slanted grin, and a large bouquet of your favorite flowers, and you'd nearly passed away from his gestures in combination with his lean, fit physique outfitted in a fitted navy blue polo and black jeans. he'd gawked too, although he tried to keep it respectful. how could he keep his eyes from sweeping all over, holding still in certain places…especially when every one of your curves was accentuated by your lace shawl and leopard-print dress.

oi.

you were the first to speak after a shared fit of nervous chuckles, twirling one of your curls around your finger and murmuring, "uh...hi."

"hey," karasu returned, shaking his head. "i'm sorry, i'm just...takin' ya in, i guess…the pictures of ya are one thing but…god, yer so beautiful." his accent made your heart lurch, and you worked quick to try and move past the butterflies of it all, waving him off.

"ah…you’re making me blush…thank you though, and ditto. it's really nice to meet you.”

"you too, darlin'. thank you for letting me take you out. i didn’t know [friend’s name] was gonna out me like she did…i looked desperate as fuck.”

“well, she’s notoriously shady…but it didn’t look desperate in my eyes. you just seemed set on what you wanted, and i liked that. a lot.”

“well, that’s a relief. i thought i’d killed my chance before i got one…” you shook your head “no” as karasu remembered the bouquet being suffocated in his hand.

“uh, these are for you," he passed the flowers off to you and you thanked him, giving them a sniff (mostly to hide your feverish face). "[friend’s name] said you loved tulips so…i ran around town looking for the best florist earlier.”

“oh my god, you didn’t have to do that…they’re beautiful, karasu. thank you.”

“gah, my surname’s too formal. call me tabito. were you ready to go? i made reservations at this seafood spot downtown. it’s kinda like those all-ya-can-eat steakhouses, but somehow more pretentious? anyway, they’ll feed us to the lobsters if we’re late.” karasu held his hand out to you.

he helped you down your stairs. he opened his passenger door for you. he buckled your seatbelt (after asking if it was okay!)

sae would never. sae could never.

you'd felt foolish for sweating over him the entire day before, but no longer. the next three months and counting with karasu had entirely eclipsed that one moment of hell that you’d lived in with sae, and you feel so thankful for your resilience as you plunge deeper into one of kunigami's shitty, weed-perfumed couches, karasu's lips sliding against yours in perfect sync.

he hadn't been off you for much of the night, giving his hand residence on your hip under the waistband of your skirt. karasu (or tab, as you'd come to call him) was beyond handsy, and though he backed off when you told him to, he loved all the sounds you made when you felt his skin connect with yours and make its claim.

the other blue lock boys had never seen him so enraptured by someone, but karasu swore he would never let you go. you were a gem, and from that night he’d seen you hanging off your friend at the bar, mouthing off to a rude security guard, he knew he would do anything to get and keep you.

his hands find the small of your back now, pressing you closer into him with a guttural moan. you’re throwing a leg over his lap in a heartbeat, gripping the neckline of his shirt in your fingers and pulling until you're basically swallowing each other. you'd both drank a lot little of this, smoked a bunch bit of that, and nothing existed outside of the steamy, trashed bubble that you two had forged. nothing at all!

nothing but the abrupt and inconvenient appearance of a certain itoshi brother.

one moment, you're lightheaded from having karasu’s tongue down your throat, and the next, you're blinking to clear your vision, choking out, "sae! what the fuck!?" at the top of your lungs.

you'd felt the stillness in the air once he'd arrived, but why would you pay attention to something like that? it didn't matter to you that people had started to go silent, or that rin had roared, "the hell are you doing here?"

you were rapt in your debauchery until it was wrenched from your grasp, translated into a frenzy of airborne fists and graphic curses.

sae doesn't stop throwing punches. even as he feels karasu's hands reach up, fingertips in his cheek and palm against his nose, he keeps throwing hit after hit after hit. he doesn't care if he can't see. he doesn't care if everyone is watching, gasping, whispering.

he doesn't care that this idiot is your everything now. he doesn't care that you're screeching for him to stop. he’s on a mission, and it wouldn't be complete until tabito karasu was a gory, unrecognizable corpse.

sae's assault is finally halted once kunigami irritably wrangles him into full nelson, forcing his hands into the nape of his neck in an attempt to tranquillize his anger.

hiori and otoya have already carried karasu off somewhere, working hastily in the heat of the moment, and all you can do is frantically follow kunigami as he makes his way towards the front door, disappointedly watching sae flail and spit vulgarities into the air.

he tosses sae to the concrete walkway once the door's opened, causing him to trip over his feet and fall face first onto the rock-solid ground.

"go home and cool the fuck off, itoshi," kunigami snaps, and you slip past him, crossing your arms over your chest as you look down upon sae with a deep-set frown. "beating the shit out of karasu isn't gonna change the fact that you lost."

"it's not about that," sae grits out, still face-first against the concrete. you wave kunigami and all the other worried onlookers off, assuring them that you'll handle it. "let tab know that i'll check on him in a second, please? thanks.''

you and sae are left alone to each other, the warm spring breeze operating as a temporary filler for the silence that stretches between you. this is your first time seeing him in months, and it's like this; disheartening isn't a strong enough word.

sae flips himself onto his back, and it's the first time that you make eye contact in forever. he buzzes with a foreign current, emotional and irrational and impulsive. you don't recognize him beyond his physical features, yet he sees you in totality.

you haven’t changed. it’s like no time has passed at all and he’s seeing you after practice, eager to take you home. it’s a film over his eyes, finished with how angelic you look under the halo of kunigami’s porch light.

he makes note of your hair being thrown up, a rarity for you, and how short your skirt is…how your bra peeks over the top of your camisole, and how it's not for him, but for him.

"tab…does he make you call him that?" sae rasps, his mouth desertic and numb. he's the winner in this.

"how did you find out where i was, sae? ” you ignore his jab, your voice a curt slice through the air. you knew he watched your story; he’d been watching and liking them the entire time, yet you never engaged. he’d even sent you a message once; a plain, boring hey y/n are we okay?. you’d been so unimpressed by his lack of awareness that you didn’t even open it. “no one in there knows about us, so you do look like a sore loser coming here to fight karasu.”

“if i was a sore fucking loser, i would’ve gone after isagi or rin," he barks, still splayed out on the ground. "karasu is nothing to me, nothing but a fucking prick trying to take you away from me—“

"oh, fuck you, sae! i’m not yours and i never was!" you try to stifle back the tremor that coats your words, and sae uses that brief pause in your momentum to cut in.

"so what? you're all his now?" he still hasn't looked away from you, and his hard glare squashes you against the front door, a force that constrains your chest. “have you fucked him?”

you refuse to tell sae that you let karasu eat your pussy on your couch after your first date, his middle and index fingers curling up to coax more come out of you as he glided his tongue over your clit, or that he’d fingered you in the back of his car with you pressed up against his chest after your second one, leaving you blissfully teary-eyed and begging for him to actually fuck you.

“not in the car…ya deserve so much more than that, princess. we’ll get there soon, 'kay? right now, i just want ya to come on my fingers.”

“even though it’s none of your fucking business, i didn’t let you fuck me for six months. you think i let him do it in three? is that really what you think of me?” you snap, bringing yourself back to earth and ignoring the ache between your thighs.

“you were…you’re my friend, y/n." sae despises the way that his eyes get tight with sentimentality. it sets in that this is most likely the way you felt when he'd brushed you off, called you needy...sent you home alone. it was a pit in his stomach, hollow and excruciating. “i miss my friend.”

“friends don’t do what you did to me that day, sae,” you state solemnly, shifting your eyes to the sky beyond the neighborhood. you’re not sure what you’ll do if you look at him…scream or explode or die. “what if something had happened to me? you didn't even ask if i made it home, and you never got me that plan b, so you owe me, like, $60.”

sae huffs out a laugh, the corner of his mouth ticking up at your words. he missed your attitude; the one that always made his laughs turn into smiles. his reaction makes you want to dig the stiletto heel of your boot into his throat.

“i’m not fucking laughing, sae! you have a lot of work to do if you wanna get back on my good side…if i made you feel weird by asking you to come in me that night, you should’ve said something. we could’ve talked about the whole thing. i would’ve told you that i was just caught up in the moment and that i didn’t mean it.”

sae blinks. “i figured you’d be pissed at me, so i gave you space. that’s what i thought you wanted.”

“that’s what you thought i wanted. you didn’t even ask, you just…left me.”

sae finally sits up, resting his elbows over his bent knees and flexing the stinging ache out of his fingers. the physical repercussions of his actions have settled in now, and the soreness he feels all over, accompanied by a throbbing headache and the burn of your vehement scolding, has him dropping his head between his legs like a disobedient puppy. "i'm sorry, y/n."

"you need to prove it," you're unsympathetic with your statement. "not now, but in time. i sure as hell don't believe you after what you just pulled. have a good night, sae. get home safe."

after a ride from otoya and a few hours of unremarkable sleep, it’s 8 am and you're sitting with your knees tucked to your chest, helping karasu hold ice up to his swollen cheekbone. he’d been able to think quickly despite his inebriation, blocking sae's efforts and minimizing the damage taken. still, the punches sae did get in left his face hammering with pain, constant discomfort temporarily inhabiting his muscles.

it registers to karasu that his condition has nothing to do with soccer, and you seem to read his mind, sighing out, "i'm sorry."

"hey, what're you apologizin' for? you didn’t do anything.”

you'd told karasu an abridged version of your history with sae when you first texted, letting him know that it ended poorly. he couldn't believe that he'd never noticed you at one of their games, but that didn't matter anymore.

"i know...i just feel so bad that he lashed out at you. he probably thinks that you’d been planning to get with me all this time so he’s even more pissed but…it's his fault that things ended the way they did. hell, when i tried to talk to him outside, all he gave me was this bullshit apology. he didn't even look me in the eye." you rest your chin on your knees, bringing your hand down from karasu's face to pick at a thread on the hem of the shirt you're wearing. "just 'i'm sorry, y/n', as if that truly means anything. no mention of what he’s sorry for, or an explanation for how he feels…just…meaningless ‘sorry’.”

your eyes are completely free of tears as you ramble on, the acidic sensation of irritation peppered throughout. you hadn’t been sad about the situation in such a long time; after last night, the apathy that you’d paid sae had been replaced with a bitter comprehension that this was what your relationship had become. no longer was he just your friend and frequent hook-up; now, he was an aggravating thorn in your side and a bitch to deal with.

"yer not responsible for that asshole's feelings, y/n. if he's not man enough to accept a loss by his own hands, he needs to do some more maturin'. a lot more, frankly. what happened, then and now, has everything to do with him and nothin’ to do with you.”

you shoot a small, toothless smile karasu’s way, rearranging yourself so that you’re laying on your side next to him under his heavy blanket. “mmmm...you’re right.”

you’re both stilled into a comfortable silence, interrupted once karasu clears his throat.

“can i ask you somethin’?” the question is a rumble in his chest, and you hum, raising a finger to trace over his collarbones. “if i’m crossin’ a line, let me know…i’m just curious…did ya like havin’ sex with him?” you can’t stop the blush that creeps its way onto your face, snuggling closer to karasu in order to hide in his neck.

he chuckles at the tingle of your breath spreading across his sensitive skin and reaches up to stroke your hand, disarming you a bit with his touch. “just a question, doll. i’m not gonna get mad at whatever yer answer is. shit, you don’t have to answer if ya don’t….”

“no, tab, it’s okay.”

you’d come to know sae as a selfish lover; he got you off every time, but it was always by his own MO. his main priority was his pleasure, and you’d felt that in the way he’d maneuvered and handled you, molding you into the sex doll he wanted in the moment.

karasu, on the other hand, never hesitated to put you before himself. you always came first, no exceptions, and sometimes, he’d make you come three times before he even came once. he always let you take the lead as far as comfort went, letting you choose the positions and adjust them to your liking. even when he was rough, his gentlemanly spirit radiated behind his actions, making you come 10x harder than you had before.

still, your times with karasu didn't fully negate the good times you'd had with sae. they'd become your memories, and sometimes recollection had you huffing at what had been.

sae knew how to use his dick, and even though he’d never taken the time to learn your body like karasu, you hadn’t minded being free-use adjacent to him back then.

karasu’s curiosity has you lost in thought, and it's not long til he breaks up your overthinking with a hearty laugh. “i’m gonna take that as a yes.”

"i did. i did like having sex with him,” you confirm with a defeated sigh. “but...it was complicated. it was different from what we have."

“different how?”

"you care more--a lot more. sae never even asked me what i was into," you snort, and karasu hoists himself to his elbows in disbelief, wincing with the effort. his ice pack slips to the ground with a clack, and you pout at him. "hey...lay back down."

he obeys, wide-eyed and repulsed. "i'm sorry, i just can't...never? not one time?"

"not once, tab. that's why it's complicated. in the moment, i didn't even think about that. i'd just let him take the lead because it made him feel good... i got to feel good too, so the idea of us not being equals didn't really click for me. it was...mindless, and i liked that until i didn't."

karasu brings one of his arms up, signaling for you to snuggle closer. he clutches you in a warm, protective grip, tenderly pressing his lips to your forehead. "i'm sorry. you don't deserve to be treated like that, ever. next time i see his ass, i’ll have him beggin’ for mercy.”

you chuckle, caressing his cheek with the back of your hand. "listen, there will be no more ass-kickings, okay? my heart can't take another one,” karasu playfully rolls his eyes at you, grumbling, “fineeee.”

“what makes you so curious? feeling a little jealous?”

“absolutely not. i just never thought him…capable of doin’ somethin’ for someone else. lo n behold, my suspicions are confirmed. mediocre as always.”

“mediocre for sure,” you bring karasu’s lips to yours, giving him a few smooches before continuing. “you kick his ass in sex and soccer and many other things, tab. i got what i deserved. he will too, and it'll kill him."

been sizzling this one for a few days 🫶🏽 i hope you enjoyed!

[liliewrites]

"MY SALVATION."

a/n : hi, so.. uhm, after a long hiatus lmao, i've finally decided to return and stay for good. yay! so this will be a part of a series titled "you who i worship, before you i kneel." which is a three part series featuring arlecchino, raiden ei and furina!:) all of which are NSFW. i'll be posting regularly every week during fridays!! thanks a bunch for reading.

-warning/s ; NSFW (mdni), transfem! arlecchino, maybe ooc?

-pairing/s ; arlecchino x fem! reader (men dni) - where in; these three women worship you, their lover, when hundreds and thousands, even millions of followers would drop on their knees to ask for blessings, for mercy, for prayers - and yet for you, at your beck and call, they would do anything you ask as they kneel for you at the same time , as proof of their devotion to you.

”my l-lord, i didn’t mean to-”

”silence, and shut your mouth. you imbecile.” the knave’s unforgiving tone had shut the fatui agent’s mouth, and a blade had been shot on the ground, just a few millimeters where the agent kneeled in front of her for mercy. it was a warning shot, no- a message telling that agent how badly they fucked up for even letting those treasure hoarders lay a single finger on you.

”incompetent, useless, even my children could do better than you. i made a mistake by entrusting my wife’s safety to you.”

the knave spat once more, turning her back on the agent, and the agent started to beg. he knew, that this could be his final moments as she started to walk away. “lyney, take him away. i shall go see your mother.” she ordered, and her orders were absolute. lyney had taken away the agent, to who knows where, and his cries echoed into the hallway- until they were no more.

arlecchino had walked in the chambers she shared with her wife, and on their bed, her beloved lay. at the sound of the door opening, you immediately sat up to greet your wife with a smile and were about to stand up, but she looked at you with a stare which told you not to, so you stay still on the edge of the bed. “my beloved, what is the matter?” you ask with a tired and worried sigh.

the knave kneels in front of you, gently laying her cheek on your lap.

this was a clear sign to you that your beloved had been troubled and you took it as a cue to start running your hands through her hair, undoing the braids and comforting her with your touch. “my beloved, i was worried..” she murmured, confiding her emotions to you, her most trusted confidante. she raised her head up to meet your eyes, and there, you saw her eyes filled with care, with worry, eyes that she’d never show to anyone else other than you. hell, you were sure that no one else knew or even thought that the knave was capable of even looking like this.

”my beloved, if anything were to happen to you..”

now it was her turn to touch you, her hand reaching up to caress your cheek— softly, gently, complete juxtapose to her intimdating appearance.“i could never forgive myself, my beloved..” she continued, now getting up to meet your lips with hers. oh, how she longed for you— she would always long for you, and how scared she was that she’d never get to do this again. to feel your warmth, the subtle sighs that left your lips, as the kiss slowly became more and more heated, fueled with more fervor, and she had gently pushed you down on the soft bed. her hands ran down your smooth skin, which were much different to her much rougher and bigger hands, and she spread kisses on your neck. “my goddess, my beloved.. oh how i’ve missed you.” she admitted, licking on your skin, craving to taste you. she kept chanting “my beloved” again and again like a prayer against your skin, and her hand trailed down, lower, and lower.

until your breath hitched.

”a-arlecchino, slowly.. please..” you begged, and your orders were absolute. arlecchino wanted to disobey, to ruin you, to rut into you with reckless abandon, but no, your words were her calling. she gently eased a finger in, then looking at you. “is this to your liking, my beloved?” she asked, and your nod gave her a positive sign that she was doing well. slowly, but surely, her finger felt every single corner of your insides, causing you to moan and cry, due to pleasure at first, but then it turned to one of need. it was her cue to start adding another in all while increasing the pace, and you let out a cry, she gently hushed you with a kiss and you looked at her with eyes filled with tears. “my beloved, are you okay?” she asked, and you nodded, unable to answer. her fingers felt so damn good. “then shall i take it that i can lead for tonight, my beloved?” she asked, and you nodded once more.

she got up, kneeling on top of you as she started undoing her clothes with haste as she took in your beauty, the breathtaking sight of her goddess under her, and she strongly believed that no sight in teyvat could rival this. as soon as all the pesky fabric was peeled away, the tip of her dick had prodded at the entrance of your folds, and no more than a little while— were you moaning and crying her name. asking her for more, to go harder, to go faster, and who was she to deny her beloved’s wishes and demands?

the knave’s loyalty does not lay itself to snezhnaya’s archon, no, for it belongs to her beloved. she lives to please you, to make love to you in more ways than one, to nourish life within the house of hearth with you as it was your wish.

arlecchino had let herself free from all the restraint that had been holding her back, her hips raised at a certain angle where it'd hit the spot she knew would drive you crazy. her lips pressing against the most sensitives spots of your skin, painting it with subtle marks that ignited a possessive ember within her chest. you were as much as hers, as much as she was yours. nothing could change that-- and arlecchino made sure of it.

with one loud groan and a sharp thrust, you felt her warmth flooding your insides. arlecchino slowly leaned in to press a soft kiss against your cheek, panting and breathless, with a gentle smile. tonight was a living memory, one of the many testimonies of her devotion for you, and the tsarita be damned. she lives for you, she serves you, and she would die for you. to her, you were her world. her goddess. her beloved.

[slaaverin]

I came across an old post the other day, about the nature of Jikooks relationship, this post was circa April 2018. The op said they thought Jikook had a special relationship (baring in mind this is after GCFT), but that they did not know if it was 'romantic' in nature. The post I was reading though, was about JM himself, and how he is a flirt. To summarise the view of the op - he is just that, a flirt, flirts with anyone, but this is not necessarily romantic either, just his nature, and the way he communicates/puts people at ease. To be fair, it kinda made sense what op was saying - ba I think we all know, JM loves to be loved, and loves to give love. Op then added on the end that bs of JM's endless 'flirting with everyone and anyone he encounters, it is hard to know when he might have a different interest in someone (I think they were truly referring to the members here, and ships).

However, what struck me reading it, is that, if that is the case, if that is how op/and others see JM, how is he ever meant to show romantic interest in someone? If he is only seen as an endless flirt, and reduced to that, how could someone differentiate between platonic/harmless" flirting and ‘romantic flirting'. It made me feel quite indignant about how JM himself might perceive that.

I say this also because if op decided that in their eyes jikook have a special relationship, but one which might not be romantic in nature. Because their own personal relationship is like that… typical lmao. But using jikooks bond as an example - how would one then decide whether it was indeed 'romantic?

So, if we think about jikook up until mid-2018 - and all the things they actually did up to, and during that time, that make their bond stand out - what more could anyone want? We're talking about, as I said above, post GCFT, post BV3 (filming at least, b I can't remember the dates), etc, etc.

And this got me to thinking what it would be like to actually date one of these boys. especially Jikook.

How in the world is one meant to think that JM is into you, if all he does is flirt with others? How would you feel special? How would you navigate a relationship with JM/JK, when they seem hell bent on dedicating time solely to each other. Would said person not feel left out, upset/angry? If I was with JM or JK in 2023 for example, and said bf decided to hop on a plane and fly 15 hours to go see his bft whom he had drifted from apparently, and film a show where they ended up in bed cosy and slapping ass, and then travelled again, and again, lastly to romantic and snowy Sapporo. I mean my bags would be packed sooner than you can say boo to a goose.

Or, hypothetically, even as a prospective future partner, even googling content like that would probably spike jealously in even the sanest person - because logically how would one ever feel comfortable letting them be around the other? What kind of sane person would put up with that? Where is the self respect! I mean that seriously.

Because to me, all these boys have ever done (esp in recent years) is single themselves out as something, and I would eat my own arm if that something is not 'romantic' in nature, because otherwise what is the point, truly. BTS are the biggest band in the wsrld, they do not need to do FS, they do not need to make up elaborate lies to sell themselves. Nothing about likeeks relationship actually sells with the fandom at large anyway, lets be honest, so there is no need for them to do what they do. Unless that is, they want to, and they cannot help it.

Objectively then, since ops post was mid 2018, 7 years has all but passed. We have had many, many ‘moments' that stand out, we all know them, I won't list them. Then we come to 2023, and we have the show, and the enlistment. I did wonder for a brief second what op might think about that, since they stopped posting in 2019, but then I thought, who cares, because honestly, to me, that sort of narrative is tired, and then some.

Jikook have singled themselves out as a duo to be reckoned with, in the charts and in life, and contrary to what those with views like op think, they have done that with purpose. Again, they didn't have to, they chose to, and to me that means something. I am not talking about how Hebi and JM have a really close relationship that the fandom acknowledges, or that vain are 'soul mates', or JK and Jin are close, or JK fell in love with Joon's thighs and has a man crush on him. This is different, markedly so.

But going back to JM and his 'flirty' personality, is it me or does JM do less of this in recent years? He was an extraordinary performer in LYS/SY era, he really did have an outgoing flirty persona on and off stage, but the JM of 2023 at least, did not ts me. He seemed shy, reserved, giggly sometimes, but also not always, by the latter half of 2023, more assure of himself. For example, he treated Sophia with upmost respect, he didn't flirt imo. His female dancers too, although solos go gah gal over their ‘interactions' (be they are hetro losers) he was literally just being professional. I call this maturity, and him coming into his own. Him letting some of that overriding need to be loved, or to be loud go, almost. If that makes sense?

This brings me to another thing the op said in a different post, but linked to the original, in that JM the flirt king' was simply that with JK at the start, just flirty and not in a romantic interest kind of way, and that JK (a baby gay), confronted JM about this eventually, said he likes him, and that JM replied with '1 don't like boys like that'. So not only did OP in their 'wisdom' confine JM to a flirt, but also a queer baiter of sorts? And that JK is happy with that because at least he gets JMs attention...I mean what the heck is that?!! The OP said it would not surprise them at all because JM flirts with anyone, that he is indeed straight. Well, I guess we do not know, but since said post, the portfolio was released, and I will leave that up to others interpretation. But I will say, to me JM has shown us part of who he is, and he is not a queer baiter like op suggests.

All this to say, that my overriding thoughts when reading opinions like that of op, or even recent ones of some of his solos, is that everyone pigeonholes JM into what they want him to be, maybe that is because he is an Idol, it's the job description, but he is so much more than that, much more human and much more nuanced. I mean what would such as op think a 'romantic' relationship looks like - the sheer love that excludes from these two, the way they look at so, the way JK sucked JMs ear in front of thousands, a romantic travel video with a love song bought for exclusive use, the sheer devotion you see from them, the domesticity, the companionship, they are the best of friends, the support they give, the laughter, the quiet moments, the commitment they showed when enlisting together, travelling together? What more could they do honestly?

As I said above, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with either one of them, given how they are with each other... that would be a hell no from me.

Anon, this is a lot to unpack.

(I want to preface and for reference for future posts, that I am an INFJ, so I can be somewhat analytical but I function and communicate primarly with emotions and intuition, so I can only convey my feelings to you, and it is very unlikely I will bombard you with any type of facts, dates ect. Due to my spiritual journey many memories from the past are also erased as soon as they enter my mind, due to focusing mainly on the present moment. So I usually can't tell you "yes but this happened at that moment!", the only thing I can truly say is my feelings about a situation, and the perceptions I had/have of it because from the memories that's the only thing that truly stays with me. Just so you know this is a particular way of answering asks and it is not my intention to stay vague but this is how I usually communicate. I'm ok at conveying feelings but that's about it lol so bear with me)

Look, I kinda hate this "Jimin is a flirt" narrative going on, even back then.

You know why? Because people take a statement such as this, and you know what they do with it? They make a generalization out of it, they reduce Jimin to it, they try to label him, and put him in a tiny box, which IS NOT how real people function. Jimin is a real complex human.

Did Jimin flirt? Yes. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Did he always do it? No. But the most important thing is HOW he flirted with everyone in contrast to Jungkook.

Because this OP reducing him to an endless flirt who couldn't tell when he had romantic feelings, it is just a load of crap to me.

There always has been A HUGE difference in how he flirts with other people vs Jungkook, and you have to be a fool not to notice.

With other people it's playful, it's cute, it's harmless, it's just for fun, IT HAS NO WEIGHT.

But with Jungkook? Cheesh it's a different story entirely.

I will put it simply: with Jungkook, Jimin cares. It is not for fun. It can be playful, but there is a tension, there is a weight, their is a different level of emotion that comes out from Jimin. It's in the body language, it's in the voice, I don't even know how to explain this, you just see it on his face, and feel it. It shows. And I know it is stupidly vague and subjective.

But even back in the beginning, when Jimin had a crush on Jungkook and was bodly showing it. Your OP might say it was all for fun, he was teasing, which he was. But behind the laughters there were repeated actions and words, their was a fucking intent behind all of this, and you can't tell me this intent this OP could not feel it.

The intent, the crush, the desire, the love, however how innocent it was presented, was real. It was real. It was Jimin's true feelings.

The difference is that when Jimin flirts with Jungkook vs other members or anyone, there are always a depth of feelings behind that flirting. Which he doesn't show with anyone else. How can people not pick up on this?

With Jungkook there is more. It's not all fun&games, in truth it looks quite serious at times, like this has an affect&effect on a private level we know nothing about.

With other people Jimin doesn't care and he does what he does because he wants to. I've never seen this side of him being immature in any way, but more of him being his loving self. It was harmless after all.

(Except with Jungkook)

Because I need to remind that he has never done the things he did with Jungkook with ANY OTHER MEMBER or anyone for that matter! Once again this is not the same levels of flirtations!

Jimin has never been a queerbaiter, he hates fanservice, so the only logical explanation is that his feelings have been true from the start. Even if on stage he has a persona, he often shakes his head when other members do fanservice, he disapproves. Why? Because the moments he has with Jungkook, they are real, the other stuff are not.

The moments with Jungkook have nothing to do with his persona, it's specifically for jungkook & their relationship, it's playing in front of millions but it's not about us at all, it's their own private moment that we just happen to witness, because their relationship is an alive ongoing thing that doesn't stop and continues with every one of their interactions, whether on stage, backstage, in interviews, in reality shows. They are constantly living it and it is ever enfolding. They are not gonna suddenly stop just because we happen to see it.

That's why they also have been so open about it, in a way they don't have much of a choice.

Unfortunately I think over time, circumstances of fame hardened Jimin in a way, he is more private now, more closed-off.

In recent years I have very few memories of him flirting with anyone but Jungkook. He has been nothing but polite and professional and caring with everyone he meets.

So the "Jimin is an endless flirt" doesn't sit right with me at all. He CAN flirt he HAS flirted but not all the time and he did it especially with Jungkook more than everyone else since debut.

Isn't that good indication whom he has romantic feelings for? If that's not enough idk what people want.

I wish people would stop reducing the members to cartoon cliché unidimensional characters they made up in their heads because that's not how humans work. They are not "just this" or "just that", they are layered and changeable and ever evolving. Do you know how complex we are as beings? Anyway.

So no, even when Jimin flirted, I never ever saw him as "nothing but a flirt" in my mind. That's not true, and it doesn't feel right to think it. Because I don't know him intimately enough to pass any kind of judgement like this. One of my favorite saying is "To define is to limit" so I tend to not do this with other people. Because once you made a definitive statement like this it opens the door to any kind of shortcuts, easy and lazy pathways to try to comprehend someone. But people are not easy to understand, and most people don't even understand themselves that well. So please, can we not do that? It's not that simple.

I agree with you. I couldn't date any of them with the other in the picture (I mean I couldn't date any of them period lmao). But yeah how can any other bond compare to jikook's bond, anything else would pale in comparison, they have more than 10 years behind them, bonding life experiences they won't be able to find with anybody else, a connexion so deep and fluid and easy and loving, how can you compete with this?

Since they met I don't believe there has been anyone else serious.

Idk, am I crazy? Does this post makes any sense to you? Am I the only one understanding it this way?

Anyway anon thank you for sharing this reading of yours which was like?? Weird but ok

Feel free to send me your thoughts anytime I will gladly read them 💜 and answer when I can

Take care 🥰

[cookiesandcrumbs]

To anyone who is thinking, “man I wish I could create cc”

Short answer: You can.

Long answer: It’s going to be an uphill battle of a learning process. For some people the hill will be like a mountain and for others it might be more of a bump. The process is still the same.

What I need people to understand when it comes to creating cc is that, your first mesh edit, it’s going to be Trash™. I know it, you know it, we all, Know it. See the thing is, if you go in to something like this with the mindset of “I need this done yesteryear and it needs to be PERFECT”, whew are you in for ride. It wont be. You can’t go in expecting it to be good, or even decent! No one is good at things the first time they try it. And if they say they are, they’re probably lying lmao.

My process was, my mija @moontrait helped me get in to simple mesh editing and when she wasn’t around to answer my questions, I would poke at blender and reading tutorials on my own. Let me tell you. It was Trash™. I don’t even have the first mesh edits I started anymore, I knew that they we’re ruined beyond repair. It would’ve been faster to redo the edits after I had learned more about blender.

I wrote above sometime in 2020. And now, 4 years later, my cc still isn't perfect but its okay! I'm proud of many of the things Ive created. I just make things to have something to do and to share it all for free. And i have learned a lot and i want others to learn too! The best thing you can do is to make small simple edits. Not for use, but just to make Something. Literally just take a skirt or a top and chop it off. You don't even have to finish the item, it doesn't have to have lods or even swatches. Just by simply opening meshes in blender and poking at it and testing shortcuts and things, you’ll learn. That’s what i did. I have so many small tips and tricks, some i posted here. I by no means know everything, in fact, i know VERY little. There are things about blender i legitimately *i pretend i do not see it* because i’m scared of it lol. For questions about cc you can nicely ask over at @thefoxburyinstitute or check out this post about my cc help desk! I also made a poll about cc making that’s got a little less than 2 days left on it lol.

So yeah. You CAN learn to make that One Specific Thing you want in your game, but you need to learn the basics first. It will help you in the long run. Trust me. I’ve had some experience teaching people how to make simple edits throughout the years and it’s always difficult when they’re Set on a specific end result and won’t listen to my advice. Please listen to my advice lol.

I wish you all the luck! ✨

[cieloclercs]

grace , send me a trope + a character and i’ll write a short drabble from it

hii, can i please request best friends to lovers with ollie?

congrats on 1k btwww 🫶🫶

call me cupid — ollie bearman

pairing. ollie bearman x best friend!reader

word count. 2.7k (i swear i tried to make it short lmao)

warnings. kind of a weird fusion of fluff and angst ??? unrequited love vibes (that’s not actually unrequited but u get what i mean), pining ollie, pining reader, arthur lowkey is the mastermind, and is also sick of said pining, abrupt ending i’m sorry 😭

author’s note. hello anon! thank you so much for your request ☺️ i hope this is ok ! i know it cuts off quite abruptly, but i’d be open to writing a part 2 with the confession if you want one <3

read below the cut

He’s staring again.

It’s becoming a problem, but can anyone really blame him? You look nothing short of angelic under the strobe lights, your shimmering dress catching his eye every time you move. You’re dancing with a girl he doesn’t recognise, that beautiful smile he adores stretched across your crimson-painted lips. It makes him wonder what she’s saying to you to make you seem so content.

Best friends shouldn’t look at each other the way he’s looking at you now. Ollie knows that. Yet on days like today, he really can’t help it. This is your party, celebrating your third Formula 2 victory in a row. He’d watched from way back in P5 as you stormed through the field, fighting off every challenge your opponents tried to throw your way. There’s a reason the fans call you the Queen of Formula 2, after all. You’re practically untouchable. All it does is heighten his awareness of his own pounding heart whenever you’re around; turn his insides to velvet when you so much as smile his way. Yes, it’s becoming a problem — and Ollie isn’t sure there’s anything he can do to stop it.

“You know, I’ve just thought of something you should try.” A voice speaks up to his left, breaking him out of whatever trance you’ve unwittingly put him under. He turns. Arthur Leclerc stands like the devil on his shoulder, arms folded, expression unimpressed. When Ollie says nothing, he goes on, “It’s called talking to her. Works wonders, really, I’d highly recommend. It’s how I met Carla.”

The younger of the two rolls his eyes. Arthur is the only other living soul on earth who knows about his infatuation with you — officially, at least. In reality, almost everyone in the Ferrari Academy has long since figured it out. Everyone except you, ironically. But Ollie supposes it makes sense; why would someone like you ever even consider him as something more than just a friend?

“Can we not do this tonight?” Ollie sighs, exasperated, “I’m just trying to forget about…all of that for a moment.”

This time it’s Arthur who rolls his eyes. Ever since he first caught on to his friend’s crush on you a little over eight months ago, he’s been trying every method under the sun to try and make him see that maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t be so pessimistic about his chances. But the answer is always the same. Ollie remains convinced, like some poor, naïve, completely oblivious child, that you’d never so much as give him a second glance if he told you how he felt. It’s complete bullshit, of course. Arthur has seen the way your eyes search immediately for his after a race, be it a good result or even a bad one. He’s watched you brush off close friends (including him, many a time) even family members, to get to Ollie. But of course, Ollie himself doesn’t notice. No fool in love ever does.

“You’re not going to forget though, are you?” Arthur muses, glancing at his friend out of the corner of his eye, “I know you, and I know you can’t stay away from her for that long. You’ll cave eventually.” he smirks. At the sight of Ollie’s pink cheeks, he knows he’s caught him out.

“Why don’t you go annoy someone else for a change?” the Brit grumbles. There’s the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. Arthur could pick it out even in the pitch dark.

“Don’t pretend you don’t love me.” he teases.

Within moments he’s cowered behind Carla on the other side of the room, chased away by Ollie’s (half joking) threats to crash him out of the next race on purpose if he doesn’t shut his mouth. But Arthur’s words stick with him throughout the entire night. Somehow, they always do.

In truth, Ollie's been grappling with the idea of telling you for quite a while; to put him out of his own misery more than anything else. He's sick and tired of the 'best friends' label. It seems so trivial, so reductive to say that it hurts him, when in fact, every time you refer to him as such, he’s sure you must be ripping his heart out of his chest. But then he can’t help but feel melodramatic — at least he has you, even if only as a friend. Even if you don’t love him in the way he loves you, you’re still there. Close, though perhaps not quite close enough. Ollie has decided not to take that for granted. He knows how easily it can be snatched away from him.

In the end (just as he always seems to be) Arthur is right — it’s not even an hour before he finds himself gravitating towards you; unwittingly being pulled into your orbit from which he fears, if he’s not careful, he’ll never be able to escape. You’re hovering on the edge of a group of engineers now, sipping on a glass of sparkling water out of a straw. How you can appear drop dead gorgeous yet so damn adorable at the same time, he has no idea. Ollie feels he’ll be spending the rest of his life trying to figure you and your many layers out.

“Hi, Ol.” you greet him with a smile like the sun when he finally plucks up the courage to approach. He mutters something in reply, though as soon as the words have left his mouth he’s already forgotten them — he could have said something completely unintelligible for all he knows. That’s the effect you have on him.

“Having fun?” you prompt again, your soft smile spreading into a full-blown grin. Ollie glances briefly around the room. It’s absolutely packed full of Ferrari Academy members, both drivers and personnel. Normally, this kind of event would be his worst nightmare. Even if he’s known these people for years, the idea of having to socialise and look like he’s having fun makes him feel sick. But then he remembers all this is for you. It’s to celebrate your achievements in a male dominated field, which no woman has ever managed to do before. When he reminds himself of that, all his anxiety suddenly seems to melt away.

“Of course.” Ollie grins back. His heart soars to see you light up at his words, to see you giggle behind the rim of your glass and look at him as if he’s the only person in the world. At times like this he can truly believe that maybe Arthur is right — maybe, if he confesses, his world won’t come crashing down. Maybe you’ll light it up for the better.

“What happened to you at turn one? Nic told me you dropped out of the points." you go on, eyebrows furrowing with the remnants of confusion. Ollie had begun the feature race in P2 behind you, yet you'd find that the competition you'd so anticipated disappeared not even before the first lap had ended. The Brit sighs, shaking his head.

"I collided with Jack trying to defend." he tells you with a wince, "Damaged my sidepods."

Your expression twists into one of sympathy. There's almost no coming back from that, even for a driver as talented as Ollie. Still, you think, to climb back up to P5 after sustaining damage like that is no mean feat. You don't miss the way he flushes bashfully when you tell him as such.

"It was my own fault." he mumbles, trying desperately to cool the flames in his cheeks as you watch him, eyebrows raised. He always feels like he's been put under a microscope when you look at him like this. There's no escaping the calculation in your stare, the curious scrutiny. "I took too much of a risk."

You shake your head. There's the tiniest of knowing smiles on your lips. Ollie is always so hard on himself. It's something you both admire him for, and find yourself exasperated with; he never seems to be able to see how brilliant he really is -- or at least, how brilliant he is in your eyes.

"Well, whoever was at fault, it's a real shame." you dismiss with a wave of your hand, "I miss sharing the podium with you."

Ollie is sure he must be melting. He can't figure out if it's from your words alone, or from the tiny pout that's fallen on your lips, or even the soft glint in your eyes as you gaze up at him. Suddenly the proximity between the two of you seems to have all but diminished. He chuckles nervously.

"Next race will be ours." the Brit murmurs. Little by little you inch closer to him, your hand resting on the ledge you're leaning on, just ghosting over where his own lays flat. He breathes in sharply.

"Promise?" you whisper. The point of your heel bumps against his foot. Ollie glances down at it in a panic, before his head snaps up to meet your piercing gaze. He fears that if he rocks forwards only the slightest bit on the balls of his feet, he'll be close enough for his nose to bump yours. He's never felt so consumed, so intoxicated by another person in all his life. He can smell the honey scent of your hair, feel your warm breath tickling his cheek. His gaze flickers down for the briefest of moments to your lips - soft and pink, parted as if there's something else you want to say, but the words have gotten trapped in your throat.

"I promise." Ollie croaks.

Just one more step, you think. One more step, and he'll kiss you. He's so close, closer than he's ever been before, and suddenly you can see everything falling into place: all the nights spent crying on Arthur's shoulder, wondering whether Ollie is truly just scared as your friend says he is, or whether he simply doesn't feel the same. It will all fade into a distant, long-abandoned memory. Finally, you'll be able to call him something more than just your best friend.

But then he steps away.

You flinch, taken aback at his sudden movement. Ollie stares at you, wide-eyed, breathing heavily as if he's just run a marathon. He can't believe what's just happened — can't believe he was about to kiss you. How could he be so stupid?

"I —" he stammers. The look on your face is hard to decipher: shocked, confused, hurt. If Ollie looked a bit closer, he'd be able to see the last of those emotions, or the way your shock is mixed with a horrible sinking feeling of disappointment. But, of course, he doesn't see it that way. He's stuck on the same, poisonous idea that's been plaguing his mind ever since he first figured out his feelings — you don't feel the same way.

"I'm sorry." Ollie gasps. Then, without another word, he turns on his heel and runs, leaving you stood alone, arms half outstretched as if to try and stop him. You're too late, of course. Within moments he's out of sight. Gone, just like your hope.

"Well that was a train wreck." a familiar voice speaks up from somewhere on your left. You spin around, groaning as you spot Arthur, arms folded, eyebrows furrowed in what you can only imagine is frustration.

"You don't say." you drawl bitterly, glaring down into your empty glass. Wordlessly, your friend passes you his own half-full one. You lean down to sniff at its contents, and pull away, nose scrunched in distaste — definitely not water. But you think, at this point, you're owed some kind of distraction.

"Why does he keep running away from me?" you grumble. It's been months of this cat and mouse game now. Tonight is the closest you've ever got; the first time you've seen with your own eyes that Ollie does reciprocate your feelings. Yet it feels like for that step forward, all you've gone and done is taken another two back.

"Because he's an idiot." Arthur answers plainly. The Monégasque watches as you take a gulp of his drink, pulling a face at the burn in your throat, and wordlessly reaches forwards to take the glass back from your hands. He's grateful that you don't complain.

"Well I wish he'd stop." you mutter. As much as you're willing to wait for Ollie for as long as he needs, it's painful, having to go on loving him from a distance like this. Every time you lock eyes, the longing grows more intense. You're not sure how much longer you can take it.

"You know, you're just as bad as he is." Arthur speaks up. Once again, your head snaps towards him, eyes narrowing.

"What?"

"You heard me." the Monégasque says with a sigh, "Look, I want to help you, I really do, but you could make all of this so much easier for yourself if you just tell him how you feel."

And there it is. You can’t help but let out a bitter chuckle. It sounds so simple coming from Arthur’s mouth — so easy. God knows you’ve tried, time and time again, to be honest with Ollie about your feelings, to rip off the plaster in the hopes the pain of it won’t be too great; that he might just tell you he’s been trying to say the same thing all this time. But whenever you feel as if you might be ready, the words catch in your throat. You just can’t stomach them. It’s a kind of vulnerability you’ve never shown to anyone before, let alone someone who already means so much to you. At the end of the day, you’re still young. No matter how much you love Ollie now, the chances of him being the one are low.

At least, that’s what you’ve been trying to convince yourself. But a part of you knows already — there’s no one else on earth you’ll ever feel this way about. Young or not, it’s always going to be Ollie.

“I don’t know if I can take that risk, Arth.” you say quietly, “If Ollie and I — if we’re not meant to be together…isn’t it better just to have him, even as a friend, than risk losing him entirely?”

You’re honestly not sure which is the most painful: having to pretend that you don’t love him, or the idea of one day not having him at all. Yet, you still know which one you’d choose — even if it hurts like ripping your own heart out of your chest.

“Huh.” Arthur says, eyebrows furrowing again. There’s something different in his expression this time, though. It’s less frustration, more a spark. As if he’s realised something you and Ollie may not have just yet.

“What?” you ask. Suddenly, Arthur begins to smile. You watch him disbelievingly, none the wiser as to what on earth he has to be so happy about at the present moment. Then he’s laughing, shaking his head as if in mirthful despair.

“You really are soulmates.” the Monégasque snickers, watching almost gleefully as you grow even more confused.

“What?” you ask again. Part of you begins to wonder if Arthur has lost his mind — you wouldn’t blame him after the game he’s been playing: acting as some sort of secret go-between in the middle and your and Ollie’s back and forth self-doubts. But Arthur hasn’t lost the will to live with it all just yet. In fact, he thinks he’s finally figured out how to make the both of you see sense.

“He said the exact same thing to me.”

And with that, Arthur turns on his heel, leaving you stood alone, your mind racing. All this time you’ve been trying to play the long game; trying to anticipate what Ollie is thinking, when in reality, your thoughts are practically shared. You’re both afraid. More than you ever have been in your life. But for the first time you begin to think, perhaps fear doesn’t have to be the dividing factor.

“Why do you look so pleased with yourself?” Carla Brocker asks her boyfriend as he retakes his familiar position at her side, still grinning like a child who’s just been told Christmas is coming early. Arthur says nothing, merely tilting his head in the direction of where you stand motionless. It only takes a few moments for Carla to catch on. She turns to face her boyfriend again, mouth hanging open.

“You think you’ve got through to her?” she whispers urgently.

Once again, Arthur Leclerc grins proudly.

“Just call me Cupid.”

[a-capricious-creative]

girl I just read a line that goes along

"Harry's been through nothing next to Snape" Like someone, who finished reading the series, actually sat down and typed this shit out. I am...speechless.

yeah like being orphaned, relentlessly bullied at home, at school, starved, neglected, made to do child labor, made to sleep in a cupboard, chased by the dogs of another relative who hates you, then going to a world where more bullying follows from peers and a professor, adults place mountain like expectations on you, gaslight you, manipulate you, calls you a liar, then expects you to be their ally and saviour, conspires against you, spreads damaging rumors about you, makes you participate in a deadly competition, and you watch a peer die, you get tortured, you get betrayed, then you get cut off, then your closest father figure dies in front of you, with a prophecy, a madman, dangerous creatures and soul sucking demons who makes you hear your dead parents' dying moments threatening your life every second, the madman in question is constantly fiddling with your brain, then you're a wanted felon, you’re forced into hiding, more danger, more deaths of loved ones just to know that you were kept alive for all these years so that you can die at the right time.

yeah but sureeee he has been through 'nothing' right ? snape worshippers truly amuse me 💀

Lmao I saw this because it was on my post. I saw it at like 3am I was dying because I had a night shift. I was this close to taking down the post so many times yesterday but I’m glad I didn’t.

I’m also so glad you listed it all out because I was so close to making my own post but I was putting it off because there was so much to say but you’ve just done it for me haha. That person also said that Snape doesn’t favour Draco, which is stupid. Anyone with a brain can see how Snape enables Draco’s treatment of others.

I’m also questioning what exactly is it that Snape went through that’s so hard. They said that Harry had an attitude problem. I’m not gonna list it out again because you already did but with everything going on in that year alone, I’d be giving all the attitude under the sun.

I honestly don’t know why Harry should feel bad about looking in the penseive, yes it’s a violation, much like the multiple Snape as committed with him over the last four years. He wasn’t even apologetic about it, afterwards when he left his office, he was thinking about what he’d seen. There wasn’t any remorse in the fact that he’d looked in there. He was skittish and stuttering because he knew Snape would be angry with him, whether it was fair or not.

He also said “Harry deserved more than a single 0 for something that probably wasn’t even Snape’s fault”, in response to what I mentioned about Snape intentionally dropping Harry’s potion to give him a zero. Like mate what do you mean, probably? The scene is literally there, Draco starts laughing for goodness sake

[geordikisser]

jealous!redacted boys | suggestive

characters: david, milo, asher & sam :p

☆ a/n: any porter missers? miss porter. this was an excuse to write abt porter but might as well spoil my milo & david mooties who follow meee >_O!! part 2 later :33 ☆

context: someone is tryna spit some sweet shit to you as he steps away

david:

- david will never hesitate to let it be shown when he is feeling a type of way about someone who’s interacting with you. it’s in his blood to devote loyalty & possessiveness upon things he claims as his

- whether it’s intentional, it’ll show when he is feeling upset at someone who’s seemingly putting moves on you

- “is everything alright.” in the scariest voice you’ve ever heard from him

- david is a direct man but that directness doesn’t mean he’s directed in the right direction sometimes,, he isn’t to good with social cues with you. he’s stupid with love. smart with most! but love? eeeerm.

- he has a history with that too,, looks at jealous tsundere bf confronts you.

- he will become very touchy/clingy with you once he begins reading signs he doesn’t like. to hand holding or even thigh holding. he’ll rub your thigh with his finger gently or hold you closely by the waist and play with the bottom of your shirt. actions speak louder than words! i guess

- “clearly social cues aren’t your strong suit. fuck off, they aren’t interested.” as blunt as he’ll put it, in that same tone. he isn’t loud or aggressive. just direct and stern, he doesn’t want to cause a scene.

- after you two left from hanging out, david felt the urge to meet your lips with his as he dragged you in the house practically. you chuckle in between kisses as you put your hands on david’s chest. “you’re mine, you know that right, angel?” he asked in a low husky tone. you nod as you caress his cheek. “i love knowing you’re mine.” he growls lowly, his breath hitching as he said that.

milo:

- unlike david, he isn’t quiet. he’s loud about how he feels with you & other people who try to spit some shit with you

- “yo, who’s this?” mentality

- he will glare and give nasty looks from afar. until he realizes the whole shtick going on with you. he will make his entrance very grand and big,,

- “hey sweetheart!” he pulls you in and kisses you everywhere he can within public. “how’s my sweetheart?— oh? who’s this?” he’s petty with it i just know it

- if the punk doesn’t get the hint milo will get real serious. he will puff out his big boy chest and rip that person tryna hit on you to shreds. he’ll even bare his teeth a bit too ngl, he isn’t scared

- “listen here, punk. your little act for my sweetheart isn’t cute. quite frankly, you could use some tips. good thing i’m not a teacher. though, i could teach you some manners if you’d like. no means no, now scram.” in a low tone but if anyone walked by, they could hear.

- milo isn’t bashful, he knows what’s his and wants to keep it that way. he doesn’t need small hints and signs to show what’s his, he will scream it to the roof tops lmao. he’s a blunt and bold dude, no hesitation w him

asher:

- asher’s dumb. he has 0 tone reading skills & doesn’t understand most things. he won’t catch on until it gets physical or you show visible discomfort.

- he is more polite compared to his other friends. he’s a sweet boy, has 0 bad bones inside him. he’ll tell the punk to go off somewhere or tell them you’re taken to actually avoid conflict

- asher, despite his loud & unruly nature, prefers peace over violence such as that. he hates conflict, he isn’t a aggressive person at heart!! doesn’t mean he’s afraid to be aggressive he won’t hesitate to be violent, especially if it’s over you? he’s a extremely protective person.

- “hey, i know your intentions are pure but they’re taken! they have a boyfriend.” & whatever the other person has to say he’ll shut it down immediately, he doesn’t care for what they have to say. positive or negative, he doesn’t care.

- if the person persists (which they do most of the time due to asher’s kind personality ) he will get nasty about it. not crazy like milo or quiet like david, in between.

- “if i need to remind you again i will trust me! i ain’t scared of you.” he’ll be laughing as he says this, he’s to unserious,,

sam:

- sam is also very possessive. he know you can handle yourself but sometimes that side of him makes him want to handle that. he lives in a general dominant nature, sexual or not.

- sam will try to remain calm & trust you can handle it on your own, he is similar to david, doesn’t wish to make a big scene but he isn’t afraid to cause one. he can just teleport away if it gets overwhelming

- he will have similar mannerisms to milo, he will come in being touchy a bit and just glare at the person. his eyes will read a very distasteful message hoping the punk would take their leave understanding your disinterest.

- if not, he isn’t afraid of course to speak up

- “unless you got places to be tomorrow, i’d pick up the pace and swing on out of here.” in a low tone, his accent gets heavier the angrier he gets and the lower his voice is

- he would be very forward about it, he hates beating around the bush. these sort of interactions are quick and direct, he has an intimidating aura about him that make alot of humans turn away, that stomach churning feeling

- “i bet you had that handled sure.” he rolls his eyes as he peppers your neck in kisses. “you’re strong, i know.” he sighs as he nuzzles into the your neck. “but i love defending what’s mine.” he bares his lovable shit eating grin to you as you roll your eyes in response.

[lynzishell]

I was reading the comments and I think we’re missing the point here. People are acting like Atlas is the red flag and now suddenly it’s his fault that Ash is drifting from his family and whatever. Hello? Did we forget that Ezra was a willing participant (if not straight-up the cause) of Atlas’s trauma? How did we go from “let’s give him time” to “Atlas needs to get over it bc that's toxic"? Like?? Atlas’s feelings are valid too. WAY more valid, actually, than the feelings of the guy who caused his trauma and a woman who’s always prioritized her own wants (even to the point of guilt-tripping Fawn for simply having a different opinion about HER OWN life lmao).

P.S. Ezra already got his second chance and used it to get defensive and treat Atlas like shit. So yeah, it’s totally fair if Atlas doesn’t feel like giving him a third.

Yes! Okay, so before I dive into this, because I have A LOT to say, I will preface by saying how much I appreciate everyone taking time to share their thoughts and opinions on this. I love getting everyone’s different perspectives, and it’s one of the reasons I love this topic/theme of forgiveness. I feel like, depending on the situation, it always hits a little different, and I can’t help but wonder why people are willing to give some more grace than others.

For example, I feel like there would be less debate for Phoenix if he had chosen to never give his dad a second chance. If he’d left that door closed and never went to Chestnut Ridge, would anyone have blamed him? I doubt it. Even when he did visit Chestnut Ridge to meet and check in with Danny, he was angry and closed off with his dad, and for the most part, people were pretty understanding of that. And he had no intention of sitting down and speaking with his dad, Joey really had to wear him down (but he’s persistent like that). Even still, after they left, if Phoenix chose to never speak to him again, I think people would’ve understood that.

So, what is it about the situation with Ezra and Atlas that sparks so much debate?

Proceed below the cut to read my literal essay on the topic...

Maybe it’s because, in a way, Ezra was also a victim of the place, the community/religion/cult, they grew up in. He was essentially brainwashed. And, deep down, he really believed he was doing the right thing. He was looking out for his best friend. Granted, he was incredibly misguided, and did far more harm than good, but he didn’t understand that at the time.

That being said, he never considered Atlas. He saw Atlas as the bad person, the negative influence, someone he needed to protect his best friend from. So, his actions toward Atlas (such as outing him to the entire school) were intentional and malicious and caused real harm.

And yes, Ezra has changed. He has seen that place for what it is, and he understands that he was wrong. He is remorseful. (Does he fully understand the impact his actions had? Not really, but we’ll get there… and yes, he did get defensive during their first conversation, but I’m going to cover why this happened in another ask, so I won’t get into it here) But, really, there’s nothing he can do to change the past. All he can do, the only thing in his control, is to apologize and be better in the present and in the future.

But does that mean that Atlas should be expected to shove his feelings aside and “suck it up” and forgive him? Or, at the very least, be civil with him. For what? For the comfort of those around him? Why? Why is their comfort more important than his?

At what point did his trauma start to be seen as petty? At what point did his feelings and his needs start to be perceived as manipulative? Maybe it’s because, in order for Atlas to have boundaries (i.e. not having Ezra in his space) it means Ezra not coming to the house, which impacts the other people in the house. But does he really need to come over in order to carry on a relationship with Iris and Spencer? Is it really that big of an ask? For six months? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because Ash offered to not spend the holidays with this family this year and spend them with Atlas’ family instead. But they live with his family, and they see Phoenix & Dawn far less often, so I don’t think he finds this unreasonable. I think when they move to San Sequoia he will obviously want to visit his family and see them for the holidays, and Atlas will have to decide if he wants to join him or not. But they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it. Right now, they’re just trying to get through the next six months.

In any event, I will say, I wrote this arc intentionally to move in this direction. First, we see Iris taking Ezra’s side and bickering with Atlas, which is not surprising, it’s Iris. But then we start to see the scales tip for Asher too.  He starts to see that Ezra isn’t a bad guy and shows signs that he’s not the same person that Atlas describes, and he gets frustrated that Atlas continues to be cold and closed off, storming off and slamming doors. He starts to view it as being immature and petty. And it’s not until he sits down and gives space for Atlas to open up that he realizes how wrong he was for that.

And this is what makes their relationship so valuable. The level of empathy and trust and respect these two have developed is unmatched. Not to mention, A+ in communication. But it didn’t come easy. These two have done the work over the years to get to this place. But I digress…

The reason I took the arc in this direction was to illustrate exactly what Atlas has dealt with his entire life. Even more than the trauma related to Ezra, is that from his own parents.

At the beginning of Part 4, Atlas wakes from a nightmare and describes the sensation of needing to cry but being physically incapable of it. “Something that was trained out of me from such a young age that I’m not sure if my body even remembers how.”

Due to the emotional abuse and neglect that he grew up with, he internalized early on the belief that he doesn’t matter. His feelings don’t matter. Maybe they’re not even real. Not the way other people’s are. To cope, he hid his feelings away, even from himself. Most of the time, Atlas’ emotional affect is neutral, regardless of what he’s thinking or feeling on the inside. (Ash is one of the few people who have been able to see through this… he struggled at first to understand him… but today, he knows him better than anyone)

For example, during the flashback scenes, we never see Atlas react to the bullying. He’s very calm, says he’s fine, refuses help. But that doesn’t reflect the truth. The truth is, Atlas is incredibly sensitive and feels things deeply. And this time in his life was painful and scary. He was afraid for himself, for his sister, for Henry, for the future, the unknown. His time with Henry was the only time he felt that weight lift, where he could just be. And Ezra took that from him too.

Henry turning on him was horrible. Not just the heartbreak of losing his first love. But the first person he opened himself up to turning on him, telling him, “Whatever this was… it was an illusion.”  This shut him down for a long time. It further drove home the fact that his feelings aren’t real. And he didn’t open himself up to anyone again until Ash… and we saw how much he struggled with that.

So, the fact is, Ezra showing up, Ezra spending time with Ash, it stirs up SO MUCH.

And maybe if I was still writing prose for him, if we still had the ability to be inside his head and know what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling, maybe then more people would understand why this is so hard for him. Because the storm of fear and pain that wells up in him is overwhelming. And then to be shrugged off as if he’s the one being unreasonable just piles on to all of it, reigniting the belief that his feelings don’t matter… or that the very least, matter less than other’s. And that makes him feel isolated, and like the people he loves are going to turn on him again. That maybe that’s always meant to be his fate. And it tears him apart.

Are these fears based in reality? No. But since when are anxiety and trauma rooted in logic? That’s not how it works.

Atlas clearly has a lot to process. His trauma is his to deal with, yes. But in order for him to be able to do that, he needs to feel safe. And that’s what Asher understood when he was listening to Atlas. Like I said earlier, Ash knows him better than anyone. He knows Atlas’ past; he knows his particular brand of abandonment issues (hence, always keeping his promise not to storm off during a fight). He knows that first and foremost, Atlas needs to feel safe, secure, and supported. And then he can start to process everything that’s happening inside him.

Perhaps people misunderstand and think that the idea is to keep them separated so Atlas can avoid Ezra and everything he brings up. But that’s not it. The idea is to give him time and space, compassion and patience, so that he can work through it. But it starts with him. If he tries to talk to Ezra again now, I guarantee it won’t go any better than the last time. He’s not ready.

And, on Ezra’s side, being asked to respect Atlas’ boundaries, to stay away from the house, gives him the opportunity to gain a little trust. He has the option to get angry, to talk shit about Atlas to Iris, to feel like it’s unfair. But he also has the option to accept the fact that he hurt Atlas more than he realized. He has the option to show up differently than he would in the past. To self-reflect. To see the events of the past in a different light. And I think, if he chooses this route, it will help him show up differently if/when they talk again too.

Maybe it feels controlling or manipulative to some. In some circumstances, it probably would be. But I don’t think it’s that black and white. Sometimes it’s for the best.

And for the purposes of my story, I wanted to give Atlas something he’s never had before: loved ones hearing him, seeing him, and showing up for him. Because that’s what the Goode family does. They show up for each other when it matters most (even Iris). And one day, Atlas and Asher will have the opportunity to do the same for their own children and the people they love. 🩵💛

[softpine]

So this might be a weird question. Do they have sex? Neither of them seem inclined

RIGHT WELL ABOUT THAT.... there are a ton of things i had intentions to write but probably wouldn't have gathered the courage to post because they ended up becoming far too personal for me. and frankly i don't think people were ready to read and be compassionate about this specific plot line, which was a huge problem because it was so personal to me. i don't want to go into detail, but it had a lot to do with intrusive thoughts. i realized that i couldn't portray that in the specific way i wanted to using this visual medium. i was terrified that my meaning would be misconstrued considering the topic is already so misunderstood by those who haven't experienced it. basically, i wrote myself into a corner by setting up this plot line and then realizing i actually am sooo not ready to share this with the world.

but i can still answer your question!! the short answer is yes, sometimes.

the long answer is that casper is ace, but for many reasons, you wouldn't hear him use that language himself. he wholeheartedly believes his complicated feelings about intimacy stem from OCD (oh yeah idk if this will be surprising to anyone, but i was in the process of saddling him with that 😌), and who his biological father is and knowing he shares his genetics, and also due to the way he was raised (mikaela may have been really good about teaching safe sex, but she was also a young mom who gave him an extreme fear of pregnancy lmao). it's hard to make sense of these outside factors and how they relate to inherent sexual attraction, and well, honestly... casper is not the type of person to investigate his feelings in this way. as he gets closer with coco and things start heading towards a relationship, he tells her that sex isn't his thing. he likes all the other parts about being in a relationship, he just wishes sex didn't have to be part of it.

she doesn't believe him at first and thinks that he's just using this as some kind of manipulation tactic. given her trust issues and the experiences she's had throughout her life and her career, she genuinely can't imagine that any man would want to be in a relationship without sex – specifically with her, as she has a hard time viewing herself as valuable outside of her sex appeal. neither of them are particularly good at communicating their feelings, so they end their already tenuous relationship and go back to being friends. but with time she realizes he's being honest. it makes her think about what she actually likes & doesn't like about sex. for her, it's a foregone conclusion, something she does even when she'd rather be doing something else, and the times she's enjoyed herself the most are when she's alone (truly alone, not in front of a camera) or when sex is the vehicle by which she can get closer to someone.

later, when they do get together, coco makes it clear that she's fulfilled with the relationship as it is, but that if he wanted to try it, she wouldn't make it a big deal. she knows better than anyone what it feels like to have sex with someone she's not sexually attracted to. it can still be fun, feel good, strengthen bonds, etc. and of course they would stop if it wasn't working out. this is something casper never got from the other people he's been with, no matter how understanding they tried to be. it's the first time he doesn't feel like he's being left out of a joke, or that he has a ton of expectations to live up to. so it does work for them sometimes! just not super often. but everyone's needs are being met and no one is getting pressured so it's all good :)

obligatory disclaimer: this is only representing the experiences of two individuals, this is not meant to be a representation of all asexual people, or all sex workers, or all people with trauma, etc.

[crazylittlejester]

Opinion time

honestly, I like the hero of time as much as the next person- OOT is one of my favorite games in the whole entire series and I love the characterization Jo-Jo gave him, but that doesn’t mean I can’t admit he’s an extremely flawed character

and I mean this in a good way, Jo-Jo wrote a character you can know did bad things and still like him /pos

but I didn’t like how, in the timeline parts, wind does confront and ask him “why did you leave?” And times only response is, in my own words

”I left it behind cuz I felt like it LMAO”

..????? yes he took percussions to make sure ganon “didn’t come back” (which.. he did, time knew the seal would break eventually. ganon literally screams out about how much he hates him and is coming for his descendants)

leaving an entire world behind to rot is just written off as “shit happens” and you can’t say “well time didn’t know what he was doing” because, at some point, yes he FIGURES OUT his actions have consequences /nm

Imagine being rulie, your entire world is a wasteland and you ask the guy who CAUSED its downfall “why does my land suck so much” he just goes “oops my bad”

in the child timeline he just fucks off, in the downfall timeline he dies, comes back, and says forget everybody else, he only really started giving half-a-shit in the adult timeline with twilight. We can see this with his blatant favoritism over him.

anyways this was me screaming at the clouds about how time isnt a cookie cutter hero, he’s flawed and he’s made mistakes and honestly? It makes his character better and more enjoyable. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk (feel free to give ur opinion on the matter)

okay sorry for any spelling mistakes or oddly autocorrected words, this was kinda a lot longer than i thought it would be alkjslkjs 😭

Okay this is an incredibly interesting perspective and I’m not sure I’ve seen anyone else with this exact take on Time. I have a much different view of his character and his actions, though it was nice to read yours! /gen

First off, I completely agree that Time is a incredibly flawed person, and that’s part of why I love his character so much. He is not perfect, he is not the best leader, he makes mistakes. I genuinely think that the only reason he’s leader of this group and why the others tolerate him being the unofficial official leader is because even they can acknowledge that Time is just the best person for that role. He is not a perfect leader, he is not and I don’t know if he’ll ever truly reach that, but looking at the other options, he really was the best for the role. (Warriors would’ve been incapable of fully separating the others from the military in his mind, Twilight wouldn’t have been able to go off as Wolfie without causing mistrust or doubt towards him in the beginning, and Legend simply didn’t WANT that. The only other person who possibly could’ve lead the group would be Sky, and while I do think that could work, Time has way more experience)

Time has made a lot of mistakes, in his games, in the comic, he’s not flawless. I think in the comic (LU) we most commonly see this through how he’ll say things that come across as incredibly flat, snappy, or a bit harsher than what was really necessary for the situation. And this is just something it seems like he’s always been like, at least with how Jojo characterizes him, because in that one sketch with him and Malon when they were younger, he said something that did very much come off as snappy/rude, and he immediately realized how what he said sounded and tried to make an attempt to apologize. In the most recent update, we see how his stress and emotions made him much snappier and harsh towards the others than he really needed to be. I’d even argue in some moments, when he’s talking about his past and we see parts of his past, he’s a BIT arrogant. He certainly isn’t that way anymore, or at least he’s not as arrogant, but we see some moments where he comes off ass a little full of himself, the one I remember the clearest is the expression on his face when he got into Gerudo Town and a bit how he was talking about it. He’s also able to admit his flaws and that he was too distracted and let that get in the way of him helping the others while Twilight was hurt

Where I disagree with you (AND THIS IS ALL MY OPINION AND MY INTERPRETATION) is on Time’s thoughts surrounding the whole timeline thing. I do not think he had ANY idea that he was creating a whole other timeline, nor do I think he really even had a choice. He was sent back in time in an attempt to stop Ganon from destroying everything, and I believe he’s spent all the years since thinking all he did was go back in time. I don’t think he ever even considered the fact that Wind’s timeline continued on without him there (screenshots taken from Timeline Talk 1, art credit to @/linkeduniverse)

He DIDN’T know what he was doing. He was like, 9-10 in the body of (roughly) a 17 year old, he was doing whatever he was told by Zelda, Rauru and the sages, the goddesses, whoever. And I don’t think ANYONE realized the consequences of sending him back in time like that. I genuinely think that this right here is where he realizes not only that the timelines split, but the timelines split because of HIS adventure/journey. And when faced with the idea that every time he used his ocarina he abandoned hyrule (kingdom) he seems horrified (also from Timeline Talk 1):

I also don’t think the others have any idea at all that Hyrule and Legend are on a separate timeline from everyone else. I think everyone who comes after Time on ANY timeline has heard of him, but Legend and Hyrule haven’t had the chance really to talk about their timeline with Time, at least not really like how Wind did. And even if they had, again, Time DIED in their timeline, which could not possibly in any way have been his fault 😭

So yeah, he did leave Wind’s timeline (which is the adult timeline), but he genuinely had no idea that it got ABANDONED. I think the way he was looking at is was like erasing and starting anew and not just writing over what was already written and leaving that there (if that makes sense). And even if he had realized he completely abandoned that time, I’m not sure it would’ve even been possible for him to go back, and if he HAD, there’s only one Time. Twilight either wouldn’t have been born, or he’ve been born in Wind’s timeline. Which raises some INTERESTING theories because if Twilight had been there, would his game have happened? If it HAD, would Wind even be a hero? Given that whole theory that Wind doesn’t even have the hero’s spirit and he CHOSE the hero life instead of the other way around. That’d honestly be so interesting to explore!! I kinda wanna write a fic on it

Time did was he was told to do, he did was he was guided to do by people older than him or who had more ‘power’ than him. He was around ten years old, I don’t think he had a “Lmao fuck this shit” attitude when timeline hopping, I don’t think he understood he was timeline hopping at all. He didn’t understand what he was doing and he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, he was just trying to survive, and I’ll even bet he really thrived on what little acknowledgement and appreciation he got for saving hyrule (kingdom) because he seems (to me at least) like after losing the Great Deku Tree and the Kokiri he was REALLY lonely

And yes, he definitely for sure has a soft spot for Twi. But aside from Twi JUST being his descendant, I think Time feels bad that Twi followed after him in the hero business. He probably realized Twilight was descended from him and then really LOOKED at him and saw everything that young man went through and Time probably felt AWFUL. And after realizing that Wind’s entire timeline suffered because of something he did, I’m sure he feels the same way towards Wind. Because he may not be Time’s blood, but he’s a KID and he’s been through so much. Also there could be an argument made that Time is such a hoverer around Twi rn because he was hurt. I’m sure Four could’ve been the one who was hit and Time would be hovering over HIM instead

TL;DR: Yes Time is incredibly flawed. That’s what makes him interesting, that’s what makes him a good character, I wouldn’t like him very much if he were perfect alkjslksj. But I do not think he intentionally abandoned the other timelines, nor do i think that has anything to do with why he seemingly favors Twi. He was a kid, I don’t think anyone understood what was happening. I think if Wind had never spoken up, Time never would’ve known

(also Timeline Talk 1):

but thanks for sharing your perspective! It’s always interesting to see the different ways we see the same character :) /gen

[ecoterrorist-katara]

hello hello! can i just say, i love your takes so much. it feels like you’ve read my mind on how katara would actually react in certain situations. currently myself, im rewriting the structure of the show in a way that makes more sense (aka, getting rid of kataang altogether and focusing on actual growth for each character including aang!) and im struggling a bit on aang actually!

we know how brykke basically stunted aang’s growth because of their weirdness. but what if aang never had a crush on katara? what if he sees katara as the big sister he always wanted instead, making their relationship more wholesome than weird? i think he’s such a centralized character, but when i develop the others beyond the show, aang feels like he’s left behind.

maybe that’s part of it too! he is a boy out of time, and now more of a concept than a person as far as anyone else outside of his immediate group knows. in this au where i intend to age everyone up, i’m just curious to see what kind of man aang would grow up into if his motivations for katara was never there. i see him as trying to hold onto his lost childhood and then having to come to terms with the fact he can’t. but i’d love to hear your thoughts. who is aang outside of that? his journey has the opportunity to be so fascinating, but brykke kind of said hey! let’s not get into that! let’s make him a creepy god boy who gets whatever he wants!

(also to note, this version of aang is meant to be with azula and while i love the meta ive seen about taang i do personally hc her as a lesbian but i do like them but yeah!)

also sorry if this is too rambly i’m just very excited!

hi! This is such a nice message, and please never apologize for rambling! My blog is a safe space for all ramblers. Your fic sounds like a very exciting project!

I definitely agree with you that he’d try to hold onto his childhood & have a hard time with his grief; coming to terms with the depth of his loss would be an exceptionally interesting arc. His people were victims of genocide: his culture and his loved ones were brutally murdered. Nobody can replace that community, not even his chosen family of the Gaang, and certainly not a romantic partner.

But Aang certainly is somebody outside of all that tragedy too. I think his cheerfulness and optimism, his playfulness, his resilience, his reluctance to assume responsibility, and his prodigiousness are all important facets of his personality.

Here's my piping hot take: Aang is James Potter with a more tragic backstory and less of a cruel streak. Think about it: mischievous, funny, adventurous, brave, enjoys attention, popular, devoted to friends, prodigious, entitled when it comes to love interests, morally inflexible, dedicated to Good, can be too arrogant to recognize his own faults. We hear that James became a pretty decent guy, so there's plenty of potential for growth for Aang, especially if he doesn't get his forever girl at age twelve.

Aang has a big heart and stringent morals, but is still a bit of a trickster. Not in a malicious way, but in a “I have a zest for life way” that gives him a little bit of an edge beyond just being a sunshine boy. You can see this even in ep 1, when he sacrifices himself so that the village would be left alone, only to haul ass out of the Fire Nation ship as soon as they’re safe. You can also see it in The Great Divide, where he straight up just fabricates history lmao. Lying is not an issue for him at all, which indicates it’s not really part of his moral code.

On the other hand, he obviously feels very strongly about taking life, which indicates a black and white approach towards morality that is not uncommon in kids. I could see an older, more mature Aang being led to question his own approach to morality, particularly by someone like Zuko, who probably finds violence a lot more palatable than lying. I think there are very interesting cultural differences that can be explored here, which doesn’t necessarily mean that Aang will change his opinions, only that he’ll have greater respect for how other cultures see right and wrong, and that he can keep Air Nomad culture alive without taking on the burden of being the manifestation of that culture. He has the innate impulse to try to see the best in people, which is at odds with his black and white morals sometimes. Related to that, he really struggles with morally grey characteristics in his friends. I think that if he had a fleshed out opportunity to properly disagree with his friends, he may not necessarily change his own mind, but he might grow to value his friends' freedom of choice over imposing his own values on them, since one of the cornerstones of Air Nomad philosophy is apparently about freedom. I think his pacifist voice is an important contribution to their ragtag group of overpowered pre-teens and teens and I love it when that aspect is explored in fics.

I've seen some really good depictions of Aang-not-obsessed-with-Katara in fanfiction (Southern Lights has my favourite one; in fact it's my fave characterization of basically everyone except for Mai). I see most of his flaws as things he can grow out of, but only if he encounters difficult situations and learns to grow. Have fun with your fic, and please do share in any relevant tags once you start posting!

[thatdesklamp]

Hello, and (for the moment) ‘see you in a while’ from old desklamp.

(Quick edit now I’ve written this all out: Oh, lordie—I’ve just realised that this sounds like I’m announcing I’m giving up on IW. I’m not! I promise. This is all about how I’m trying to facilitate my writing process. IW is not being dropped: let’s get that out of the way first, lmao.)

Hello all! I’ve been doing some self-reflecting, and I’ve come up with this: I’ve struggled with writing ‘Intrinsic Warmth’ for a long time now.

Alll too often I’ve been sat with my laptop for hours having only managed to squeeze out one or two paragraphs that I don’t even like all that much anyway. I haven’t felt satisfied by writing for a long time, and so I just haven’t written anything. It’s been months since I’ve written something worth reading for IW, and I’ve been having a think as to why.

I think it comes down to two things; I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure in writing IW, and I’ve become too fixated on the instant gratification of feedback from you guys.

First: the pressure. IW has gotten bigger than I ever considered it would be, especially recently (as in, in the jjk season 2 era). The support and feedback continues to blow me away, and I’m staggered every time I stop to actually consider the magnitude of the response that IW has gotten. It’s genuinely crazy.

All that is to say: I wasn’t prepared for this!! I don’t mean that in any resentful way at all, I want to be clear. Moreso that it’s easy to feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. I know that, relative to other huge ao3 fics, IW isn’t even that huge. But I also recognise that in the ‘Gojo x reader scene’, it’s pretty up there, even if we’re just looking through a ‘filter by most kudos’-ed fic angle. There’s a been big response, and I’m just one person, lmao. But come on, I absolutely love it, and I’m so grateful that people have enjoyed the stuff I’m writing—but as more and more people have been picking it up I’ve felt a definite pressure put upon me. It’s a pressure to write well, and to write more, and to write good things more often. This isn’t to do with anything anyone’s said, don’t worry, but more as an expected consequence of IW picking up traction.

I feel more and more like a ‘popular author’, and feel like I’m doing you guys a disservice with my infrequent updates. I truly do appreciate the reassurance of ‘you can update whenever you want!’, genuinely, but I’m also an ao3 reader myself! I empathise with and understand the frustration that must be felt when I go months between updates. Writing has never come at the expense of my personal, academic or social life (hence why I’ve never tried to tie myself down with an update schedule: I’d never be able to keep to it), and I’d never want it to. I want to keep writing as it’s always been: one of my hobbies. But as IW increases in popularity, it feels like it almost *should* take priority over other things, and this has left me feeling pretty overwhelmed.

My second reason: I’ve also become a tad too dependent on feedback. When IW was in its fledgling stages, I didn’t show it to anyone at all, and was ‘writing for myself’ in the barest sense of the phrase. Only one of my irl friends has read any of it, and when I was first uploading it, when I had about 5ish comments per chapter, any feedback I was getting would always be secondary to my own. I was writing for myself, because I enjoyed writing and I enjoyed what I was writing about, and it just so happened that there were a few people who felt the same as me.

It’s very different now! And I much prefer it now—it’s every writer’s dream to have had such an overwhelmingly positive response to their writing. And now it gets to the point where I can check my emails, or look at my tumblr notifications, and there’ll always be new for me. And whilst I absolutely love this, it’s pretty addictive, checking again and again, seeing what people are saying. This positive response from others is more instantly gratifying than the slow, steady, personal enjoyment I get from writing.

It sounds silly, I know, but I’ve been writing this hunger games fic (completely spontaneous, likely never to be published), and no-one’s read it but me, and it’s reminded me how much I really do like writing. I’ve loved the process of writing it, because the only person whose opinion I’m listening to is my own.

I don’t want to discourage people from reaching out to me, leaving comments, even talking about IW, anything like that. That’s not what I mean. But this is me recognising that I should probably take a step back from the non-writing side of writing: being active on tumblr, constantly checking asks, making posts, etc. Know that whilst I may not immediately respond to you, once I get back in the swing of things over here, I will do. I just need to sort out my personal priorities a bit, I think.

Saying this, I know I haven’t been all that active recently (this has honestly been intentional: I’ve been trying to wean myself off it, lmao) but for the immediate future, I’m making that more definite: I’m going to try to revert my focus to writing. I’m going to stay off tumblr for a bit, until I’ve gotten back into the swing of writing and don’t find myself so focused on the feedback side of it all. Hopefully this’ll spark up some more genuine passion in me! Please know that if you’ve written an ao3 comment, I have read it. I don’t know when I will respond to them, but I definitely will, I just want to keep my focus on the personal side of writing for the moment.

Thank you to everyone! Again, this is just me going off the grid for a while: not a big fuckoff goodbye or anything. If this is unreasonably theatrical, blame my drama GCSE. Going off to do some writing now. See you guys!

[melonteee]

Do you think shanks and buggy will become close again? I noticed ppl having this idea of them together again and how good ending it would be but I’m not sure if this would be good for them? I feel like Buggy needs to redefine himself and completely cut himself from shanks and I don’t see shanks actually needing buggy in his life anymore? He has his crew, Luffy, heck even Mihawk is his friend more than Buggy. They have completely separate lives. I wonder how you, with much bigger knowledge about oda writing style, thinks about this broken relationship?

Also, another question. Do you think shanks would react in any way to cross guild dynamic? The way Buggy is abused by Mihawk and crocodile? (I know some ppl like this ship, I’m not judging, I just can’t see it as anything other than abuse, I’m sorry if it bothered anyone 😭)

I adore every single of your video, and now when I finally catch up with story I can’t wait to watch your reading. (And I love your humour, always making me laugh)

It's not about NEEDING him in his life! It's about WANTING him in his life! Buggy was a person Shanks gave up Laughtale for, and you don't do that lightly! My biggest thing with Buggy is does he REALLY want to be the pirate king, or does he still desire to see Shanks wearing the crown?

Their story is about their broken bonds due to Roger's execution, and that's fucked up!! I can totally see Shanks and Buggy getting together again and fighting back to back, just like how they were on Roger's crew. If Buggy wants to be Pirate King, that means he has to face Shanks, and at this point we don't KNOW enough about Shanks to really know what he thinks of Buggy currently. He's clearly still fond of him, considering he saw Buggy at marineford and went :D BUGGY !! So I want nothing more than for Shanks to realise why Buggy left him since I don't think he knows 😭

I feel like the reason Shanks hasn't gone to see Buggy or anything is because Buggy told him to fuck off LMAO ofc Shanks wouldn't go after Buggy if he said that to him, Shanks probably thinks HE doesn't have a place in Buggy's life anymore. The miscommunication is tragic! Buggy is a person Shanks wanted on his crew, and who he no doubt wanted as his first mate! He told Buggy to come with him, and Buggy called him a COWARD and said he'd never work under him. If I were in Shanks' position I also wouldn't pursue Buggy anymore since I'd think he hates me 😭😭

I also think Shanks would see the cross guild and go "good for buggy" FHGJG

[howlsmovinglibrary]

Top 5 Books of 2023!

I don't know if this blog even counts as a book blog anymore, but this year I read 60 books, which is twice as many as last year (and therefore also double my 2023 Reading Goal). I'm so pleased to have overcome my three year reading slump that has plagued me since Covid, and wanted to celebrate by... yknow. Actually doing a book blog post lmao. So here are my five favourite books of 2023!

1) Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett

Not only was this book written Specifically For Me (faeries, rivals-to-lovers, academia), I just think it's a really good example of a cosy fantasy that is well-written and well-paced. The vibes are wholesome and fanfic-adjacent, but that doesn't mean that nothing happens. I'm not a fan of the new 'cosy' subgenre generally, but I think this book combined the right amount of comfort with action.

2) The Thousand Eyes by AK Larkwood

I read the Serpent Gates duology this year, and while the first book was good, the second book was just overwhelmingly brilliant. I loved the way this author manages time and character development - we follow all the characters for decades of their lives, so the final heroic triumphs in each of their stories just... hit different. It was such a wonderful book series, that left me feeling inspired to write.

3) The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty

I love Shannon Chakraborty's writing generally, but it was really fun (after the slowburn pining of the City of Brass books) to give her a far less pious and brazen heroine that resulted in an entirely different tone of story from her previous trilogy! I loved the narration and plot of this novel, also obsessed with this pirate milf and her demon boyfriend.

4) A House With Good Bones by T Kingfisher

I love T Kingfisher but I've never been able to get all the way through one of her horror books before - idk why, I just don't tend to vibe. But this book, which leaned more towards Gothic horror, twisted to fit a modern setting, was so gripping - I read it all in one sitting. I love the funky little bug archaeologist protagonist, who's first sign that her house is haunted is the fact that there are no insects in her mother's garden.

5) You and Me On Vacation by Emily Henry

I went on a beach holiday for the first time since Covid and proceeded to devour every single fucking book Emily Henry had ever written. Although I loved all of them, You and Me On Vacation was the one written Specifically For Me, which was surprising given that the other two most popular releases by her are about books (oh well...mutual pining, my beloved).

Special Mentions:

Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett

I read all of the Tiffany Aching books for the first time this year, based on a diagnosis from a pal that Wintersmith would be 'my' Terry Pratchett book. Reader, she was right... (which says more about me as a person than I'd like).

If anyone wants to give me any recs for good books they read this year, feel free to reply to this post!