#is the only time they throw in a break in the middle of an episode

[leonardcohenofficial]

one of the rare fourth wall breaks we see in tmfu delicious we love how they're playing with form and style in the early days of the show also fleabag AU real

[tootiecakes234]

Katsuki “asking” you to move in with him

You were almost back home when you got a call from your boyfriend. He didn’t even greet you when you answered.

“Where are you?”, he grunted into his phone.

“Well hello to you too handsome.”

“Yea, yea… where are you? I’m at your place to pick you up and ya ain’t here.”

“Heh… maybe if I knew you were coming over I would’ve been home. Why didn’t you text me and let me know. I don’t have any clothes packed or anything.”you informed him.

He does this all the time. Just comes over to your house and tells you that you’re coming back to his place with him. So very demanding.

“You have a dresser full of clothes in my room, your toothbrush and all your toiletries… what do ya need to pack?”

“Ya got me there. I’m almost there. I got stuff to drop off then we can leave.”

When you get through the door Katsuki is digging through your fridge.

“Why do you never have groceries in your house?” He questions you.

“Because I’m never here sir. They always go bad because I have a needy boyfriend that wants me at his house 25/8.”, the sarcasm drips out of your voice as you head to drop off the things you had bought.

“ Tch…. Needy. Please. You’re the one always complaining that we don’t spend enough time together.” He states.

“This is true.” You shrug your shoulders. “Anyways I’m ready. Let’s hit it.

“It’d be easier to spend time together if you just moved in with me” he mentions all causally as you guys head out to his car. You pause a little and look at him a little baffled.

You and Katsuki had been dating for about 8 months but you didn’t know he felt that seriously. Maybe he was just joking, so you shake it off and continue on like he didn’t say it.

The next thing you know you’re at his house getting ready for bed.

Kats comes to the bathroom and leans against the counter while you’re in the middle of doing your skincare.

“Do you wanna say something?” You ask because he’s just sitting there staring at you.

“Do you not wanna live with me cuz you could’ve just said that when I mentioned it earlier instead of fucking ignoring me.” He asked it harshly but you could hear the vulnerability in his voice. Like he didn’t want to bring it up but it was bugging him bad enough that he had to say something.

“I- uh…”

Apparently you were taking too long.

“Just forget it.” His eyes fell from yours and he started moving away towards his room. “Are we watching the next episode of that stupid show of yours? If not-“

“I didn’t think you were serious Kat.” And you reach your hand out to catch his arm before he can leave.

“I thought you were joking or something. Also it wasn’t a question so I didn’t know you were waiting on an answer babe.” There’s a small grin pulling at your lips when he looks at you again.

“Why the hell would I joke about that? And it was obviously a question…. So answer it dammit.”, his brows were furrowed and he was scowling a little.

Poor nervous boy.

You reach both of your arms up and wrap them around his neck. Then you lean in and press a kiss to his pouting lips.

“Katsuki Bakugo *kiss* I would absolutely *kiss* love *kiss* to move in with you *kiss*”

His arms have wrapped around you waist pulling you tighter to him.

“About damn time. I’ll have people come over to pack your shit tomorrow.” And this time he leans in to give his a deep kiss. His tongue reaching out to invade your mouth.

When he pulls back you’re all twinkle eyed and dopey in love. It takes a second for reality to catch up to you.

“Tomorrow?? Kats I have a lease and I don’t want movers breaking and throwing my things around. I’m gonna need at least a week or two. And I’m gonna have to pay-“

“I’ll pay for the lease break and you have til this weekend. If ya don’t want movers I’ll get our shitty friends to come over and help. Ain’t waiting no two weeks.”

“This weekend? It’s Wednesday. That only gives me 2 days!” You reason.

“Yea and I don’t wanna give you that so count your blessings princess. And I’m done arguing about this.” He sweeps you up bridal style and carries you to bed. Then He dumps you down onto it.

“Now how about we start christening your new place,” he says while hovering over you with a sexy smirk playing at his lips.

Hmmmm….. and just like that you forgot why it was you weren’t moving in tomorrow. He could be so very convincing when he wanted to be.

Katsuki Masterlist

[tastesousweet]

⭒ blurb : podcasting

bf!hamzah x poc!reader

summary: based on this ask!!! little blurb of the times you pop up on the ooc podcast

mickey speaks: this was so funny to write!!! also i need to be hamzah's gf yesterday bitch

─────────── · · ୨୧ · · ───────────

hamzah having you in an episode with mandy and martin

“oh wow this couch gets kinda tight when four people are squeezed on here” hamzah says while adjusting a few pillows

“yeah,” martin starts before addressing the audience, “and, well, you’re probably wondering ‘who the heck is that?!’” he gestures his hand over to you, beside hamzah with your legs folded and knees lying against his thigh

you can’t help but smile as hamzah introduces you, “and, yeah, believe it or not i have a girlfriend.”

“i’m right next to you so i’d hope they believe it” give a soft giggle

“only hamzah would announce he has a girlfriend with ‘believe it or not’” mandy adds and hamzah throws a hand up in the air in defeat

★

martin: “i can’t help but think this feels like in middle school when people were just group dating all the time”

hamzah: “was group dating that common? i don’t remember that”

you: “i remember certain friend groups at my school doing that but i definitely wasn't participating”

mandy: “this isn’t really a group though martin, more like a double date? there’s four of us”

martin: "it's not all about numbers mandy sometimes there's just a vibe"

★

martin: “but you two have been dropping hints about dating for a while now”

you: “yeah, we’ve been doing a little soft launching here and there”

martin: “i like that term a lot actually”

mandy: “i think it’s cute, but i've seen a lot of people online that don't use it properly”

you: "i agreeeee, like you didn't soft launch by posting the back of his head if we already saw the front of it a week ago- we know who he is!!! there is no mystery"

martin: "oh so the appeal is the mystery... almost like scooby doo?"

hamzah, nodding his head: "mhm... exactly"

you: "it's always two dumb bitches telling each other-"

you and hamzah together: "exactlyyyyy"

martin looks over to mandy as the two of you laugh: "oh come on this is their first episode together and look at them mandy! we have to be cuter, come on. lock in."

hamzah: "hey no need to be jealous, my friend."

hamzah pats martins thigh

mandy: "so what was that right there?"

hamzah: "you wouldn't understand..."

martin: "no but seriously mandy you never soft launched me- only hard"

mandy: "there was no need to??? next time i'll do it i guess"

you, laughing: "next time???"

hamzah is sat in thought for an extra second before he replies to martin, making them both laugh

hamzah: “okay martin you said like that term so much? boy, now imma soft launch these nuts in your mouth”

you: "and i know you were thinking on that joke for a minute"

martin, through laughs: “okay, okay, enough”

hamzah, wiping his eyes: “well, now the jig is up. you know it's all aired out and public”

martin: “yeah... a hard launch on the podcast, that’s crazy bro”

you and mandy, mocking: “that’s craaazzyy brooo”

★

hamzah answering your call during a podcast

martin: “hamzah whenever you buy clothes from the store or get it shipped in the mail always wash your clothes!”

hamzah: “i do wash my clothes but if it’s new that doesn’t make any sense”

martin: “so you’re just gonna open it up and put it on?”

hamzah: “yes!”

hamzah’s phone starts ringing

martin: “and wow. now look who’s breaking the phone rule!”

hamzah: “stop shhh. it’s y/n”

he answers, hamzah: “hey what’s up?”

you see the mic in his hand and widen your eyes, you: “oh shit, i’m sorry to interrupt”

hamzah: “it’s okay i have something to ask you now anyway.”

you: "okayy.. do you wanna go first or me?"

hamzah: "you go ahead"

you: "okay quick- is this business casual enough for an event tonight?"

hamzah: "nobody is doing business lookin' that hot, you can't be serious"

you: "kay thanks"

hamzah, jokes: "you are not anyone's office siren, girl"

you: "i'm gonna hang up"

hamzah: "no!!! i need to ask if you wash your clothes after you buy them."

you: "if they smell like stale water and factory chemicals, yes"

hamzah: "martin is educating me on the importance of this unimportant thing right now."

you: "and you should listen to him, stinky"

martin: "thank you!"

hamzah: "oh nahhh, now i'm gonna hang up"

you: "mkayy bye, sorry for interrupting! bye martin!!!"

martin: "byee"

★

you drop something off at the warehouse studio while they’re filming

hamzah: "what was that noise?"

martin: "i don't know..."

hamzah: "it sounds like someone's actually trying to break in, what?"

martin: "were you expecting company?"

hamzah: "no, were you?"

martin: "no...i mean let's ask the audience"

martin turns to the camera, concerned

hamzah: "okay i'm actually about to go check. this is weird."

it cuts to a clip of hamzah sat again and you peeking your head in the frame to wave

hamzah: "nevermind. it was just my sweet girlfriend bringing us lunch, sorry if that scared you guys."

martin: "should we make like a super artifical thumbnail for clickbait? somethin' like; 'someone tried to kidnap us in our studio!'

hamzah: "no"

★

they have a trolling episode where you and mandy both sub in and act as martin and hamzah for an entire episode

mandy: "you know i find it crazy how we manage to talk about nothing for an entire hour"

you: "this is the talent people expect from us bro! and if we ever get too boring we can always discuss the state of sabrina and barry's relationship."

mandy: "true. and don't make fun of me but everytime man-crush monday comes around i'm always picking barry..."

you: "well if i can't make fun of you then i'll just stay quiet for your sake."

taglist -★ (some of u didn't ask to be tagged but have frequently liked my hamzah content lol, just lmk if you'd prefer not to be tagged!!!)

@sirenedeslily @333michelle @thatmartinkitten @@maybankfr @imsosillygoofylol @certainfestivalnerdshepherd

[callme-holly]

Could you maybe write dally with a reader who's in the middle of a depressive episode? Like can't leave their bed, stopped brushing hair and teeth etc...?

𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 [𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫]

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - in which dallas does his best to show he cares 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - im back from my break but content wont be as frequent bc im going into my final year of high school and stress is high 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 1k 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - mentions of depressive episodes, not eating, etc

Dallas knew something was wrong the moment you didn’t pick up the phone. He knew something wasn’t right the second it went straight to voicemail, that dull, grating tone sounding through the line instead of your usual soft voice. Something was wrong, and the fact that this was the fifth time he’d called you with still no answer didn’t bode well with his growing concern. 

Maybe that’s why he found himself balancing on the ledge outside your window, desperately trying to figure out a way to get in without getting caught by your parents—or showing that he cares too much. He’s got a reputation to uphold afterall, and while it’s not entirely untrue that you’re important to him, he’d rather look tough than risk appearing vulnerable by throwing himself into your room and demanding an explanation. 

With a carful and much practised ease, Dallas manages to make his way onto your windowsill, flicking out his blade and jamming it into the gap just under where your lock would sit, twisting and turning until the lock releases from its place in the frame with a quiet click. You were going to kill him one of these days for how many times he’d left little marks against the woodwork or broken off pieces entirely, but there was a time and a place for everything and he knew better than to mention the new scars on the paintwork to you right now.

The inside of your room is uncharacteristically dark when Dallas slips in through the window, lit only by the small lamp on the your desk, the dim glow casting tall, looming shadows across the walls. It’s as if the entire room were swallowed up, consumed by the darkness which has cast itself over every inch of your space, hiding you away, making you seem smaller, weaker, somehow. 

Your bed is a mess of blanket and pillows strewn about haphazardly, and tangled in the midst of all the chaos is you, curled in on yourself like you have been all day, face hidden from the light of the world, eyes shut tight. You breathe deeply, in and out, in and out… 

Dallas has never seen you so still before, and even though he doesn’t want to disturb you, he knows that you're way too caught up in your own head, too wrapped up in your own self pity, to notice him standing in the middle of your room. He can see the rise and fall of your shoulders and chest, can see the way you shift every now and then, the tension and sadness clear in every movement, as if you’re fighting off some invisible demon.

The sight frustrates him, the thought of you sitting here alone, unable to do anything against your spiralling mind causes those gears to grind within him. He knows what it’s like, how it feels to be trapped in your own head, and he hates to see you suffer from it.  

“Hey,” he murmurs softly after a moment of prolonged silence, attempting to break you from the trace you’re submersed in without startling you. He takes a tentative step forward before carefully moving to sit on the edge of your bed, not really knowing what to do from there. “You good?”

You don’t respond immediately, your response getting stuck halfway up your throat, struggling to get past the thick wall of emotions blocking any kind of sound from leaving your lips. You swallow heavily, the action painful and raw, and your words come out in a tiny, hushed whisper, barely louder than the wind whipping through the trees outside.

“Don’t know.” The word comes out as more of a sigh than an actual word, and though your mouth opens to continue the conversation you’ve cut it short, unable to force another syllable past your throat. It seems as if your brain had completely gone blank, the thought of continuing speaking seeming impossible. There’s a pause between you two. A moment in which you’re both waiting for the other to speak, to say something, but neither can find the words to fill it. It stretches on, almost unbearable in its intensity, the silence so thick and heavy with unsaid thoughts and feelings you could cut it with a knife if you wanted to. 

Finally, it becomes too much and Dallas is the first to break, shifting awkwardly to sit beside you. He's not good with this sort of thing, emotions aren't exactly his area of expertise, but he isn't completely heartless and he sure as hell isn't gonna leave you like this. 

“Have you eaten anything today?” There's a strange note to his voice, and even though you don't turn to glance at him, you feel his eyes on you. You shake your head in confirmation and he huffs. “Then eat,” he says simply, reaching forward to brush some of your knotted hair from your face. 

The gesture is gentle, comforting almost, but his touch is still firm despite his attempts at being a calming presence. That much about him doesn’t change.

You want to tell him that it’s not that easy, that you haven’t actually left your bed since yesterday morning—except to go to the bathroom—and even then, the effort it took drained what little energy you had left. You want to say that the thought of forcing food down your throat feels impossible because your stomach hasn’t stopped feeling like lead weights. But instead, you bite your tongue. It’s too difficult to explain something like that to Dally, and honestly, you’re not sure you could handle his bluntness right now.

Instead you reach out blindly for him, gripping onto his wrist tightly and pulling him close, ignoring any protests he may make. He sits stiffly, unsure how to react to the sudden contact, but after a moment of hesitation he allows himself to relax, one arm coming to wind around your middle.

He doesn't smother you, doesn't tease you for wanting him so close like he normally would. Instead, he remains quiet, offering nothing but silent support. And you appreciate that; you appreciate how he doesn’t push you away, how he doesn’t leave you alone to deal with things yourself. You appreciate that, despite it not being his scene at all,  he stays beside you, lets you cling to him and rest in his arms without complaining. And then you realise, maybe Dallas Winston isn't as heartless as everyone makes him out to be. 

Maybe, just maybe, you mean more to him then he lets on.

[jasperandhenryslovechild]

now that the shock of watching this trailer over and over and over again has worn down a tiny bit i need to ask, what the fuck is that hero costume and what does this mean for the preexisting canon dangerverse timeline

it is evident that these three costumes are NOT the same thing and it doesn't make me happy at ALL.

INDIVIDUAL BREAKDOWN/ELABORATION RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT

this one

is henry danger canon, like in the very last episode.

a muted version of the danger force canon one, with a fugly mustard hoodie with the strings tied so tight that it makes me question his breathing abilities and middle-schooler-who-just-discovered-what-mouse-is hair/j. he looks like he had to pull something together last minute unlike charlotte (curse me for cropping her out) who is literally THE COOLEST ONE HERE why is she not in the movie???? she is literally a fucking cyborg with purple hair someone explain this shit to me??? it's her superiority that allowed her to absolutely EAT THIS UP while henry looks like he just went dumpster diving

it's a vibe but it's also giving ramen noodles so im giving it a low 5/10 out of pity

danger force switches it up on us with this version

henry "we don't wear masks in dystopia, we're kinda above that" hart

this one is my favorite, it's cohesive and it goes together well. it's got the more grown hero vibe that ive always wanted to see in henry ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF HIS GROWTH AS A CHARACTER!! THE RETURN OF THE KID EPISODE IS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT HOW FUCKING DIFFERENT HE IS AND IM HERE FOR IT SO HARD!!! i will absolutely drop a df henry hyper analysis some day but for now this is what we've got

the shades of burgundy and washed out red throw it together well and i can totally see an explanation behind this costume vs the old one being a simple upscale/revamp. that jacket has pockets to hide weaponry, leather would probably be a lot easier to take a tumble in (+ the knee guards not shown in this picture and like the plastic covers on the sides of his legs that i don't know the name of, implies that he takes enough hard falls to need protection in these areas!), it helps camouflage well in dystopia because the 2 seconds of clips we've seen of that place show that it's pretty dark despite its bright neon flashing lights that give it an evil sanfransokyo at night sort of vibe. it's superhero-y, but it also doesn't have all those staple childhood iconic hero things either— if anything he looks kinda ashamed to be in a superhero show and that's okay/j

overall, 10/10 because it has nothing to do with the capitan man/kid danger brand, it shows henry evolving beyond that point in his life into his own entity after being so soley dependent on ray for his entire previous career in superhero-ing

now to address this fucking monstrosity we were given just a few hours ago

i want to preface this by saying i am not ungrateful. the things i am about to say come from a place of pure dissatisfaction yet constructive criticism. ive been waiting years and years for this movie and i will literally take an hour and thirty minutes of jasper and henry twirling in a circle and make 183829992 edits of it i don't care, i love henry danger sm and the movie looks pretty cool

this being said

dear costume team of henry danger the movie,

have you ever watched henry danger and or danger force? do you even know what you're designing for? be honest, did the producers hand you this stock image

and tell you to make it mean? because every time i look at this costume there is something else wrong with it and it PAINS MY EYES. it makes him look like a cartoony ass space crusader instead of a hero fighting crime one of the most dangerous if not THE MOST DANGEROUS city in the world.

let's break this down, shall we? head to toe motherfuckers.

only not complaining about the hair and it being slicked in the same direction it used to be because it's consistent throughout the entire trailer (unlike SOME danger force episodes... cough cough return of the kid....cough cough.......)

that mask. firstly, i have issues with there being a mask at all, because danger force establishes that there are no masks in dystopia. nobody moves a finger to try and put on a mask, henry even fights SUNGLASSES. those sunglasses ray forces on him to hide his identity are brawled against, he's clearly grown out of masks. putting him back in one puts him back in that kid danger box he's been working hard to build up and out of, a concept established throughout the entire finale of henry danger and further reassured in danger force.

and if you were gonna inarguably give him a mask for simple minded audience recognition, nickelodeon, the least you could do was make it a PRETTY MASK. red was an.. okay choice for the base, but making the silver SURROUND IT? BLACK OUTLINE???? you're trying so hard to be new and cool and it is just painful on the eyes instead. the black eyeshadow under it makes him look like one of those 2020 emo dsmp cc edits and it's just like a throwback to an era nobody wants to go back to. that face card makes him looks like he listens to believer by imagine dragons while chewing that magic bubblegum. his lips are PALE, SOMEBODY GET THIS MAN SOME IRON— OH WAIT, THEY WASTED THEIR SUPPLY ON THIS NIGHT REFLECTIVE SILVER MAKEUP THAT MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A STOP SIGN WITH A FLASHLIGHT UP IT'S ASSHOLE

then we move onto the base of the costume itself. firstly, the navy blue undershirt cut out to expose his neck says nothing to me. it does not make the statement you guys thought it would— in fact, it makes the whole thing look a pit incomplete? unkempt? it looks like theres something missing and with that black eyeshadow i think it's a thick silver chain SORRY IM DONE I'M OVER THE MASK

the vest over it gives me even more issues. you can't pull up with an audio of ray manchester going "you're not a sidekick anymore, you're a hero!!" and have THEIR FUCKING LOGO ON HIS CHEST. IT'S NOT RIGHT. ON TOP OF THE FACT THAT THE ENTIRE VEST IN AND OF ITSELF LOOKS LIKE IT WAS ROLLED IN DIRT AND HAS THE COLORATION PROPERTIES OF A DYING SEAL, THE LOGO BEING THERE AT ALL IS A MASSIVE ISSUE.

the entire POINT OF THE FINALE was that henry wanted to move on from his life as kid danger. he sacrificed himself and faked his entire death to thousands of people in order to become his own person. he had no life outside of crime fighting because he has no skills or traits outside of crime fighting— he gave up his entire childhood for it so naturally it's all he can gravitate to as he moves forward in dystopia. being a crime fighter once more is a punch in the face enough that he will never really escape who he once was despite the fact that HE GOT AWAY.

HE GOT AWAY.

in NO WORLD WOULD THE HENRY HART I KNOW AND LOVE PROUDLY WEAR THE SYMBOL OF THE VERY MAN THAT FAILED HIM. ray manchester failed him throughout his entire childhood— failed at giving him a normal kid life, failed at providing context and details before or even during the time he accepted the job— and yet here the movie is. he is wearing a rip off of his old costume in an attempt to leave behind who he was. that is ironic, that is HORRIBLE. because by putting him in this FUGLY ASS DOLLAR STORE COSTUME, not only are you retconning the evolution he's been working towards, you are denying him the right to become something greater than just kid danger

in the old costumes, the designs were different because he as a person was different. his entire character arc throughout the hd finale to now was just that, becoming different.

this is not different— this is just an older version of the ghost he's been leaving behind time and time again. dragging him back to his roots. there are millions of ways to drag him back to his roots in the movie itself because those roots will never free him, that is the entire point of him post henry danger and there's so many ways to show that. but changing his costume, one of the only parts of his new hero identity that he himself gets to choose, to resemble his old costume so similarly is just blatantly saying fuck you to the current dangerverse timeline and who that has made him out to be.

my final question is, what does that mean for everything else?

cause like, if the hd/df costumes are no longer a thing in the movie, what happened to them?? why did henry choose this bullshit over the FIREEE costumes in his past?? why would he ever do that to himself bro

and also BLACKOUT?? DO WE NOT GET AN EXPLANATION ON THAT???? BECAUSE EVEN NICKELODEON THEM FUCKING SELVES MADE A THEORY VIDEO ABOUT BLACKOUT BEING JASPER AND THEN WE PULL UP WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER

LIKE GUYS I'M NOT GETTING IT ARE WE EVER GONNA GET AN EXPLANATION ON WHO BLACKOUT IS AND WHY HE WAS CAUGHT UP WITH HENRY— ALSO JASPER'S JUST TRANSFORMING RANDOMLY IN PUBLIC??? DOES THAT NOT NUKE THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF HENRYS MASK?????

i do have very good things to say about this teaser, do not let your eyes deceive you, but i also have these complaints that i don't necessarily need answered if not I just need them to be heard

if you've made it this far thank you so much for coming to my insanely long ted talk

[heartach3d]

it's okay.

luke castellan x reader

not requested!

1.3k words

showluke implied because Im a charlie bushnell girl

today has been the absolute worst day. from the start of the day towards the middle of it all of it. has been the absolute worst.

it's making my patience small and I know I'm gonna burst out at someone any minute now. and then I'm gonna regret it terribly.

I just hope it isn't at someone who doesn't deserve it. I mean if it's some douche I wouldn't really feel bad (not at all)

but if its to annabeth or luke or something I would feel so terrible.

in the morning I had to clean the pegasus stables and that is already terrible enough.

then I was late to breakfast so I ate nothing and lunch is disgusting today! so I just sat at my table and I had no one to talk to and when I tried talking I would always get cut off!

I mean I love my siblings but sometimes they talk to much! so I was lonely like all day basically and I don't do good with no one to talk to.

I don't know why I just have to talk to someone or I'll go crazy in my own thoughts and then that's when it gets bad again.

I've tried to fix it or help it but I just can't. it always comes back.

now I have to do training with luke. and don't get me wrong I love training with him it's just. I feel like he treats me like a baby. I've seen the way he let's me win.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling little. and I know that's not his intention so I try and go harder. and maybe when he realizes I can take care of myself then he'll go a little harder.

I walked to our spot where we train. it was always in the woods for some reason. maybe it was more intimate

"you ready?" I heard from behind me as I was looking for him. "I guess" I say fiddling with my fingers and looking down a little.

"what's wrong?" "nothing- nothings wrong okay?" I say setting my stuff down and getting ready.

"let's just get started?" I say trying to lighten up the mood i created when I saw his confused face.

-

I had tried my best I know I did. and I could tell. he wasn't trying at all!

I mean I get he's only training with me because I could use some help but damn this isn't helping at all!

he's the best swordsman at the camp and he can't even make it seem like he's trying? I'm just getting so frustrated putting my all for.. for.. nothing!

my sword slices through the air one last time before I had gotten to my frustration point.

"why do you always have to do this?!" he looks up for a second before I continue "I mean your supposed to be the best at camp and you can't even pretend to fake it for me!"

"I hate this, I hate this sword, I hate these people and everything!" I say throwing my sword to the floor and going down with it.

it was all really a blur next. but I don't know if its because I was crying or because of my little episode.

I'm sitting on the floor knees to my head and holding onto myself like if I let go I would fall apart like a puzzle and never be able to put myself together again.

I heard lukes voice from the side of me. "hey hey it's okay! what's wrong please tell me what's wrong." he said wrapping his arm around me.

"please I want to know your okay what happened, are you hurt?" he keeps persisting and I don't even know what to say.

'oh I've been mad all day so now I'm bringing it out on you!' see when you say it in your mind it sounds worse.

"I'm sorry luke I'm so so sorry!" I say rocking back and forth slightly. I just whisper to myself sorrys and how I shouldn't have brought it down on him.

"hey hey you have nothing to apologize for." he says trying to get my attention from my head still burried in my knees.

"I promise I didn't mean it please don't break up with me I'm sorry!" I ramble not knowing what to say but wanting to express my sorrys.

he gently lifts my head and cups my cheeks. "I am not breaking up with you over something this little. I could not even think about it" he slowly wipes my tear stained cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

he allows me to calm down a bit before asking again "now would you mind telling me what happened to make my girl freak out like this?"

"it's dumb. just a horrible morning. and you didn't deserve to have it brought onto you." I say blinking my wet lashes away.

"I don't care for any of that. your my girl and I just want to know what's going on so I can help." he whispers as he kisses my temple. "got it?"

"got it." I say smiling lightly at him. "good now come on its getting a bit late" he says patting my leg and helping me get up.

helloo! I thought this would be cute so I whipped it up quickly before I went to bed! also! the cut was only a few minutes later I would say to support the timeline more!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

The fandom can't make up its mind on what's supposed to be a joke and what's supposed to be serious because the show can't either half the time. It's a tonally disjointed mess that wants to have absurd over-the-top humor as well as a plot and moments of drama, romance, and angst that demand you see the characters as people and feel for what they're going through. Except you can't do that without also treating the dumb bullshit in a somewhat grounded way. Like, you're still dealing with the same characters. You can't just go "Oh, that? Let's ignore that!" the moment it's no longer convenient to you. You've opened this can of worms and now you have to sleep in it. So, every character flip-flops between two different versions of themselves depending on what the writers need in any particular scene.

This is not to say surreal humor can't be used right alongside characters you're supposed to empathize with, Teen Titans (not Go) did that and it worked. It's just that the absurdity can only come from the setting (Mad Mod, Mother Mae-Eye, pretty much anything Control Freak is in) or from designated joke characters (Date With Destiny). Teen Titans never had the main characters acting in clearly absurd ways as the butt of a joke unless those characters were brainwashed somehow, because the writers knew that would ruin any of the more grounded moments they wanted to write. The writers of Miraculous missed the memo on that one.

I don't disagree. A perfect example is Derision where the show takes all of the bad jokes about Marinette's crush and decides to take them seriously as if you can possible take them seriously without making Marinette come across as unhinged and dangerous. You can't, which brings us to the topic at hand: how do you even begin to understand these characters when the show is constantly making character-breaking choices?

My approach - and the approach I recommend others take if they're going to keep watching the show - is to focus on the characters' cores and reject anything canon does to violate those cores. I don't argue for this stance because I love the characters so much that I only want the good things to count. I take this stance because, if you don't, then the characters fall apart. There is no way to make them work as fully realized characters while embracing every choice canon has made. Miraculous has massive characterization issues that go well beyond the humor.

For example, Adrien has multiple moments of terrible behavior that are played in a serious manner such as the moment in the episode Frozer where he tries to start a fight with Ladybug in the middle of an akuma attack because she wouldn't accept a rose from him earlier:

Setup

Ladybug: I can't accept this rose from you. I told you already. I'm in love with someone else. Cat Noir: I know, M'lady. But if he weren't here, would things be different between us? Ladybug: Well, you know, I can't even begin to imagine him not being here. I'm sorry, Cat Noir. I really gotta get going, and you better do the same. (Swings her yo-yo to head back home; Cat Noir is sad, looking downwards, with one petal of the rose falling.)

Payoff

Ladyice: Cat Noir. We need to set up a trap for whoever turned the city into a giant ice rink. (throws yo-yo) Icecat: (bitterly) My feline instincts prefer to track and observe before I attack. You go your way, I'll go mine. Ladyice: Please don't tell me you're mad at me about the rose. Icecat: There may be a certain chill now between us. Ladyice: I get it, but we should really focus on saving Paris right now. Icecat: We don't always have to do everything together, after all. It's not like we're a couple. (skates away)

There's no way to argue this off as a bad joke. While Adrien has every right to feel hurt, those feelings don't excuse him acting like a pouting child in the middle of an akuma fight. It doesn't excuse him acting like this at any point! Ladybug is not a villain for telling him no. She wasn't even mean about it!

I clearly fully agree that Adrien looks awful and selfish here, but I'd still argue that it's not something that should be used to define Adrien's character if your goal is to tell the "ideal" version of Miraculous. "Ideal" being the version that canon seems to be going for based on the overall picture we can sort of make out if we back way, way, way up and look at the extremely abstract picture canon is clumsily painting.

Unless canon is going to do something monumentally stupid, Adrien is Marinette's endgame romantic interest. It's also clear that there is no plan to cut him from the team. He's going to be Chat Noir for the rest of his life or at least well into his adulthood. This means that he is supposed to be a good hero who deserves his miraculous just like he's supposed to be a charming and cute romantic lead. These are the two things I keep in mind when trying to shift through canon to figure out what writing choices I should fully embrace and what writing choices I have to either ignore or treat as true flaws that get an actual character arc. In my book, either approach is fine because most of the characters are deeply flawed at this point and you can't give them all arcs without bloating the story to nonsense levels.

My goal with this approach is never to say, "oh, that moment shouldn't count in terms of how people feel about the character." It's more, "that moment goes so hard against who this character is very clearly supposed to be that I can't take it into account if I want to tell the kind of story that Miraculous is trying (and clearly failing) to tell."

As an example, let's list off Adrien's worst behaviors. The things that make him look terrible:

He sucks at communicating his needs and feelings, leading to multiple moments where he gets mad at Ladybug for things she's totally unaware of

He has quit or considered quitting without warning multiple times and only one of those was because of something he did "wrong" (NYC Special)

He puts his feelings before the safety of Paris on multiple occasions, even going so far to purposely miss akuma fights to see what happens

He is incredibly pushy about his crush, often ignoring Ladybug's feelings on the topic by continuing to bring it up even after she asked him to stop

There have been multiple instances where he almost cataclysmed multiple people in a fit of anger

His love for Ladynette isn't strong enough to let him break free of things like akumas and nightmare dust even when he's looking her in the eyes making him a pretty crappy romantic lead

People will argue that some of this behavior makes sense for his character because of the abuse that canon has technically introduced, but that the writers seem blissfully unaware of. I don't disagree with that argument, but that doesn't change the fact that none of this is acceptable behavior for a hero and Adrien is a hero who keeps doing these things. A sad backstory doesn't give you the right to behave poorly without consequences.

At the same time, if I fully embrace these elements of canon, what I get is an Adrien salt fic where he loses his miraculous for good while Marinette finds her real true love or even just a non-salty fic where Adrien leaves for his own meatal health and gets replaced by someone who can handle being a hero right now. Canon's not writing either of those, so the only way to engage with these flaws while enjoying canon or aiming for the same end goals as canon is to say, "I guess this doesn't count" or "I guess I need to tone this way down and work through it via a character arc" or even "I guess that was just a bad joke maybe?"

That is the essence of what I mean when I call myself a writing salt, character sugar blog. It comes from looking at canon and seeing that there's simply no way to embrace the worst moments and the best at the same time. We're not dealing with a coherent plot and/or complex characters. We're dealing with a nonsense plot that will warp the characters to bizarre shapes to make random ideas work even if those idea go wildly against canon's end goals.

As an example, Glaciator and Frozer should not exist in the same universe or, at the very least, something should explain why Chat Noir randomly changed his stance on Ladybug's crush from acceptance to pushiness. As is, the pieces don't fit together. The behavior is too contradictory. Remember, this is how Glaciator ends:

Perhaps Ladybug will love me someday. I mean, like, I love her. I have to believe. In the meantime, her friendship is the best gift of all.

Where did this version of Adrien go? Why did he regress in Frozer? There's no in-universe reason. It happened because the writers weren't ready to let the love square date or grow close, but they also wanted the love square to cause drama, so Adrien ends up looking terrible just like Marinette ends up looking terrible when it's her turn to cause love square drama. Her terribleness takes a different flavor so it can be hard to realize that this is a systemic issue, but that's what it is. It's deeply frustrating, but it also clearly stems from cheap writing and not quality characterization.

This is also why my stance is that canon as a whole only supports my Doyalistic core-character analysis style of approach. The writing is too poor quality to do Watsonian analysis where you embrace the full picture and try to put it all together. The closest I'll get to Watsonian analysis is pointing out how much the writing botches a Watsonian take by showing you all the way the writing contradicts itself, twisting into a nonsense pretzel of frustration where the payoffs never satisfy! (See the season four rant for an example or anything where I talked about Chloe's supposed damnation arc.)

There are even characters where canon is such a total mess that you can Doyalistically argue for two separate takes! Gabriel is a perfect example. He is all over the place and his ending was so poorly handled that you can make strong arguments for writing him as a cold-hearted villain or a sympathetic villain without the end result feeling like it spits in the face of canon because both takes maintain his one core element: villain.

That's the big thing I keep in mind when I look at the characters and the lore and the plots and try to come up with versions that the average fan would like. I don't think that there's one true version of any of these things, but I do feel comfortable saying that there are versions that will very clearly only appeal to people who are salty about a specific thing that canon did poorly. That's not who I want to appeal to in my adaptions, so while I'm not going to argue that those takes have no backing in canon, I will argue that those takes are not supported by canon as a whole. Embracing them requires you to take the worst parts of canon at face value while ignoring what canon is clearly trying to do with the overall story.

I get the appeal of that, but it's not fun for me because that approach feels like rolling around in the mud with the pigs. I don't want to sink to canon's level! I want to have fun! That's why I talk about how to make canon into its best self, not its worst self. If you want its worst self, just go watch the actual show. I will be shocked it if disappoints you.

[thedialup]

every episode of house

a middle aged woman is in her home having heterosexual vanilla sex with her heterosexual vanilla husband. she falls over and starts seizing and shitting and coughing up blood. she is brought to the medical malpractice center of new jersey.

wilson is walking with house. he looks at him with an unexplained homosexual longing. this is never addressed. house does not care. or maybe he does. house finds this middle aged woman interesting. he takes the case.

house, cameron, chase, and foreman are standing in front of a whiteboard with the patients symptoms on it. they are circled to form the shape of a penis. house diagnoses her with peepee poopoo disease, which can only be cured with regular bleach injections, which have a 99% chance of killing the patient.

the husband refuses, and asks for a second opinion. house insults the husbands exact childhood trauma. the husband accepts the bleach injections. suddenly, 5 minutes later, the patient is seizing. nurses suddenly materialize. she is given cpr, despite not meeting any of the requirements.

the patient does not have peepee poopoo disease. house instead diagnoses her with poopoo peepee disease. she is started on formaldehyde injections. she goes into cardiac arrest. the husband is pulled sobbing out of the room. The Blinds are pulled. the entire hospital once again materializes. the patient gains more tubes. cuddy throws paperwork at house. he does not care. he eats paperwork for breakfast.

finally, the husband admits that the patient was kidnapped and swapped at birth. cameron and foreman break and enter and determine that the patient is being poisoned by vanilla sex. the hospital rejoices. the patient opens her eyes and smiles. all is well.

house is in his office, at night. he says that patients always lie. wilson is once again looking at him with that same longing. NEXT TIME ON HOUSE-

[kinardsevan]

How confident are you about BuckTommy getting back together? How do you think it might happen?

I don't know that I've put a number on it. And on one hand, it's because I live in this weird limbo where I'm positive they're getting back together because that's just how you tell a story. but I'm also one of those people who struggles to trust the writers not to fumble shit. So... I mean it's definitely more than 50/50. if I had to choose a number, I guess somewhere around 85/90%. because realistically, that number has only strengthened with my resolve over time (aka the hiatus).

now, I don't have a crystal clear idea on when they get back together. in fact, I spent roughly an hour on a video chat last night throwing out all the various scenarios that I think play into how it happens. hear me out:

so I think I was the first (and possibly only) person who commented on the fact that 806 being when they broke up signaled the end of the opening arc of the season. we're now in the midseason, telling that part of the story, and then obviously 807-812 will be the mid-season, and so forth with 813-818 being the final third. You can even arguably flex the middle part back into 811 if TM really wants the finale to be a multi-episode arc, as has been suggested. that all said, I think there are a few things that 805-808 set up for the rest of the middle of this season.

we got a lot of suggestion toward something happening. I'm really kinda sold on a helicopter crash actually happening midseason, mostly because I feel like holding it off for the finale would piss off the people who would be like "Tommy's not a MC". I also think that (unfortunately) not everyone views Tommy in the same blorbo shape we do, so as much as we would enjoy a three episode arc with a helicopter crash, coma, etc.,....it's just not going to shake out that way. Not even if all of this has been done (the break up I mean) as a push for the network to pony up more money to add him to the main cast (that's my own theory, there's absolutely no proof of it).

I know I've listed all of these in previous asks, but just in case this is the first one you're seeing, let's go through the list:

805: "having a crew like this around you when things go wrong" "especially when things go wrong" // "our people are what make our lives worth living

806: "no matter how badly I want it to be, I'm not your last" "they can be the same thing" // (Buck's entire understanding by the end of the Glee scene that yes, he is in fact in love with Tommy, even if he didn't say it)

807: ALL the baking. We have to reference back to 705 when Buck told Eddie "I kinda can't stop thinking about him", which then translatd in 807 to "whenever I think about calling Tommy, I channel it into something positive" (i.e., the baking), and we also know he's constantly baking. Even in 808, he has the entire basket that he shows up to Eddie's house with, which very much suggests, he's trying to move on, but is still very much in love with Tommy. ALSO, the "what if he's hurt and needs my help" 808: I honestly feel like the only real scenes that we got in this entire episode that moved the plot forward at all were the scene (sort-of) with Eddie and Brad (which honestly should've been Bobby/Eddie, but whatever), and the scene with Buck and Eddie. There's also this fascinating conversation that could be had about Buck with the whole "I'm still jonesing for it"/wanting to keep baking. There's so much out of 807 and 808 that really point to Oliver's commentary with the post-806 interview where he talked about Buck swinging like a pendulum, trying to figure out if he should reach out or just let go. But here's the thing: there's no closure on this. Given that we follow the story through Buck's eyes, the show is telling us that Buck has not been able to shut the door on this relationship, which really serves us (the audience) then, with the need for this to be hashed out, for Buck to say his piece, and then let pieces lie where they may.

Now, the naysayers will argue that this could just be a final conversation of goodbye, and they're welcome to feel that way. Except.

"No matter how bad I want it to be" // "We don't have to get engaged or married" -- Even as a general audience member, I think people can understand that these are serious statements. They're both saying that they want a future together, but Tommy's fear (and Buck's steamrolling) have (temporarily) put a stop to that. I think there's also a point in some of the statements that came out of that same post-806 interview, where TM said Tommy was setting Buck "free" to explore his sexuality and learn more about himself.

now, there are a million and a half interpretations to this. some people think that Buck absolutely needs to seek out and understand more about himself (and by extension, Tommy). some (like me) don't feel that this is a show that's ever going to publicly acknowledge Buck having a scene where he says the words "I'm bisexual" out loud. I've also seen a take recently that was half meta/half fic kinda looking at the idea of Buck's questioning in 806 being because he didn't fully understand the engagement of the outside world to their relationship. the only problem with that rhetoric is that we have 705 and 706. we have the coffee date, where he holds Tommy's hand and publicly asks him on date, and then we have him kissing the other man in public. if he's done it once, he's done it a million times after six months, so I don't think you're facing a situation where he's uncomfortable with who he is, especially when he openly outed himself to every person he loves with said boyfriend. (granted, there are complaints about the whole "I noticed you didn't" conversation, at which I feel the need to remind people that, in the grand scheme it may not seem like that conversation makes much sense, but Buck is the vehicle through which the show was using to get to the story about Abby; also there's a difference between asking someone about their sexuality versus asking them if they've ever been with x gender. I also cannot stress the importance in that particular scene of, Buck is and always has been bisexual. Even if he's only recently come to understand that's what it is, he has ONLY EVER KNOWN having the concept of being sexually attracted to both genders, even if he didn't think that dating men was an option before Tommy. [and also, there's such a full-on essay I could write about this issue alone, given his upbringing]. I think in relation to that, you have to be understanding to his "I noticed you didn't", because he probably can't conceptualize a version of people who are only straight or gay, because he's always looked at both the same way.)

THAT ALL SAID:

obviously I've commentated on the fact that we're going to get some kind of injury/accident/etc. Another quote that stays in my mind with the interviews post-806 was the final line in one where Oliver made the statement that "it's 911, there's always trauma coming". (I'm butchering that, but it's the general point). granted, we can take that as we choose/view it through the lens of Maddie's kidnapping... except, someone asked @nqueso-emergency recently about the episodes that had been directed by the directors of 809/10, and looking at that list as I was literally watching several of those episodes really led me to the idea that there's the possibility that we're been fed a swerve with what we know about the coming episodes. we've been told Maddie will be kidnapped, and even shown those scenes. I've personally questioned/theorized whether that will somehow feed into the b/t of it all, and Buck's situationship he's going fall into. obviously because we don't actually have answers, there's a million different ways that could pan out.

when I tell you I have a million and a half theories... I have a million and a half theories.

Like... what if Buck also gets kidnapped and it has to do with the situationship? Or what if it doesn't, but he still gets kidnapped? Or what if Tommy is kidnapped along with Maddie, and it is or isn't related to the situationship, but generally has something to do with Buck and Maddie? I just keep coming back to this thing of the eventual rescue that has to come out of the kidnapping, and the different ways that can play out. One of the things I was thinking most about lately was how I feel like you could see the episode end similarly to 610, where things feel like they've settled and they're going to be okay (Maddie's been found; Tommy and Chimney going after the Buckleys to bring them home, helicopter crash being the final scene of the episode), which would then tee up an entire episode where you can play out the drama of the break up, whatever confessions came through the kidnapping, etc. because that's my other thing: I genuinely feel like whatever disaster is going to befall Tommy that leads to him realizing that these people are also his people, is going to be with Evan. TM has done this before (most notably with Judd, from my own memory of LS). crashing the helicopter with the two of them together and forcing them to survive while having unresolved issues really forces them to lay things out to one another. now. will that necessarily be how the show does it?

who knows.

I've also flirted with the idea of Chimney and Tommy going after Buck and Maddie (because at the end of the day, this is a rehashing of Doug kidnapping Maddie, so we know Buck will go after her), and there not being a helicopter crash, but Tommy getting into trouble for taking government property (again), but this time getting in actual trouble for it. if they wanted to play into the entire "Eddie going to Texas" storyline, they could demote him, ship him back to the 118 (I just keep hearing Chief Alonzo tell him "since you love the 118 so much, you can go back there"), and the following episodes really playing into OS' slow burn of them not being together but also having forced proximity, which obvs would ultimately lead to them getting back together by the end of the season. this also really tees up the option that people like where we get storytelling on Tommy's past through him and Buck just generally being forced to engage more in a way that isn't romantic. and then obvs by the end of the season, Eddie would come back, Tommy would do some heroic shit that would get him back to the 217, and so forth.

the last little idea I've played with most recently, post-810, is the idea that they do the kidnapping, the resolution (without Tommy at all), and we see a massive time jump. Truth be told, I don't think they'll skip over baby Han #2's birth, but I also was kinda like "...but what if they did?" what if we skipped ahead in the timeline a year or two? Eddie going to Texas, Madney having their baby, Bathena's house being finished, Henren having their time with their kids, and Buck having his "discovery stage".... only to circle back around to the fact that over the course of a year (or two, etc), he's still in love with Tommy. Sure, the infatuation is quieter now in his head, not as prominent and the grief doesn't hurt as much... but any time they run into each other on-scene or in public, that pang is still there. the love is still there. you could really parlay that into something akin to when Maddie went back to Chimney in 218 to reconcile, which I think is an option. Maybe even twist it into a version of "you were my first, and I still want you to be my last".

the only other version of this I have personally conceptualized is the idea that the kidnapping happens (once again without any involvement with Tommy), things are working out, Buck is having his situationship... and then the helicopter crash happens. I've definitely flirted with idea leaning towards Buck/Josh because I think the bones are all already there, at which point you then get some level of a scene where there's a group scene, the news of the crash is heard, and you swiftly get this acknowledgment of "welp, that's over". because I am not at all putting it past this show to use a NDE to be what pushes b/t back together. especially because, at the end of the day, these are two people who told each other they want to spend the rest of their lives together (refer back to my barriers comment above). I will not put it past them to have what shakes Tommy's resolve is one of them almost dying and realizing he'd rather be scared and alive than know one of them could be dead and not have had that time together.

anyway....i've word vomited for ages now. this took me like an hour to write. you're welcome.

yall really gotta stop sending me these asks b/c then I just hyperfixate and go all "look at my brainmap!"

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

a/n: happy january! for @wyattjohnston ‘s 2025 winter fic exchange i got @tkwrites and this was my first exposure to sean durzi! i hope you enjoy the fic and the vibes are suitably cozy 🥰

word count: 5.5k

tw: friends to lovers, kissing, no smut

summary: lizzie arnold decides to surprise her best friend for christmas, but she could never have imagined how the holiday season would shake out

Elizabeth Arnold is having the travel day from hell.

A flight from Phoenix to Salt Lake City should only be an hour and forty five minutes. But when you add in mechanical failure, overbooking, and icy weather in the destination state, suddenly the quick trip turns into a logistical nightmare and she’s being rebooked on a flight that has a stopover in Los Angeles, adding nearly four hours to her travel itinerary.

Four hours on top of the three she’s already been wasting sitting in the Phoenix airport due to delays.

Honestly, it would’ve been faster to just drive to Salt Lake City at this point.

She pulls up Google Maps on her phone and taps in Sean’s address, just to see. Oh, more than ten hours of driving from the Phoenix airport. Actually, maybe she will just take the flight delays. At least it means she can just sit back and go where the airlines tell her, instead of having to focus on the roads.

She can’t even text Sean to tell him about all the airport bingo spaces she’s hitting - delayed flight, toddler throwing a tantrum in the middle of the terminal, fourteen freaking dollar bag of almonds, woman completely overdressed for the flight - since her trip to Utah is a surprise.

With her two week Christmas break, she’d made the executive decision to work remote for the couple of days before Christmas and fly out to Utah to surprise her best friend since he’s been in a mood for months as he rehabs a shoulder injury.

Lizzie figures that she might as well spend the holidays with Sean since her own family is scattered to the four corners of the US and she doesn’t feel like deciding which parent she’ll see. When she’d told her mom she wouldn’t be coming to Boston for Christmas, her mom’s immediate reaction had been to blame her dad for monopolizing her time. Not that explaining she wasn’t seeing her dad in Dallas for Christmas either had stopped her mom’s rant. Nearly ten years divorced and both her parents still hated each other.

Her dad had taken it slightly better, assuming she was going to spend the holidays with her sister Jane in Seattle. Nope - Jane was going to her fiancé’s family’s place in the Adirondacks. Lizzie hadn’t been invited. Which was fine. No, really it’s fine. Lizzie doesn’t want to spend the holidays with her bossy older sister anyway.

It might’ve been nice to be wanted though. Not that Lizzie will admit that.

Her younger sister, Cath, is somewhere in Los Angeles trying to make it as an actress. She’s not entirely successful since she hits up Lizzie for money every few months, but Lizzie did spot her in an episode of FBI: Most Wanted, as a bystander running from an exploded building, so she supposes that’s a start.

Needless to say, spending any sort of holiday time with her family is a non-starter.

And something about the life she’s living in Phoenix isn’t making her happy any more, so she’s more than happy to pack up and spend some time in Utah with Sean. He can’t really do anything physical that would set his shoulder rehab back, but maybe she can convince him to come along to the slopes anyway and sit in front of a fire while she skis.

Her flight is announced and she hefts her carry-on to her shoulder and treks down a few gates to stand in line and scan her boarding pass. It’s a packed flight and of course she’s wedged into a middle seat, fighting for elbow room. Closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths - she hates meditating and has never been good at it - Lizzie clamps her AirPod Maxes over her ears and tunes out everything around her until the plane lands at LAX.

Where she’s greeted by another flight delay because of bad weather in Salt Lake City.

Honestly, fuck Gary Bettman and Alex Meruelo. Life had been much easier when the Coyotes and Sean were in her neighborhood and not a nightmare travel day away.

When she finally lands in Utah, Lizzie nearly sprints off the plane and books it for the Enterprise kiosk so she can pick up her rental car. They upsell her on a Chevy Tahoe that’s probably way too big for her to drive, but has excellent capabilities for snow driving, per Andy at the desk, so Lizzie figures better safe than sorry. As a Maryland native, she’s no stranger to driving in snow, but it’s also been a good eight years since she had to do it regularly.

Last year, when she visited her mom and stepdad in Boston, Mitch had insisted on driving everywhere, even though Lizzie was twenty-five and more than capable of navigating her mother’s Hyundai through the streets.

When she emerges from the airport, the Tahoe’s keys jangling in her gloved hand, Lizzie gasps at the sudden hit of cold air. It’s crisp and clean and it hurts her face in the best possible way.

Phoenix is great, but there’s nothing like the cold weather to get her in the mood for Christmas.

She wrangles her two (overstuffed) suitcases and carry-on into the Tahoe and plugs Sean’s address into the built-in GPS. He lives just fifteen minutes from the airport, but since it’s still actively snowing, Lizzie is barely going thirty miles an hour and it takes her thirty minutes to get to his house.

“Oh thank god,” she mutters, spotting his car in the driveway. It occurred to her about ten minutes into the drive that he might not actually be home. It’s nearly nine thirty at night, so odds were good that he’d be home but wouldn’t that just have been the cherry on top of her day? Having to sit in Sean’s driveway in her rented car because he was out of the house.

As she pulls her car in behind his, Lizzie sees the curtain in the front window shift and a smile stretches across her face, excitement bubbling in her stomach. She hasn’t seen Sean since the Utah home opener in October - there was no way she was missing that piece of both NHL history and Sean Durzi personal history - and she’s missed him a lot.

Lizzie leaves the luggage behind and makes her way carefully through the snow covering the walkway to the front door. Sean already has it open and he’s backlit in the doorway, but Lizzie can see the confused expression on his face.

“Surprise!” She squeals, giving him excited jazz hands. “I’m imposing myself upon you and staying through the New Year.”

It takes a minute to click, Lizzie’s pronouncement, but when it does, Sean shakes his head and laughs, stepping back so she can come inside. “You’re so lucky I decided not to go out tonight,” he grins, opening his arms for a hug. Lizzie steps into his embrace, puffer coat and all, squeezing him around the middle. Sean’s chin comes down to rest on top of her head and something that was missing clicks into place.

“I legit just had that same thought as I drove up,” Lizzie laughs, shedding her coat, hat, and gloves. She kicks her boots off and lets them fall in a pile next to Sean’s sneakers at the front door. “But then I figured that you’re a giant loser so where else would you be except at home.”

She smirks at him and Sean pushes at her shoulder, deadpanning a laugh. “Ha,” he snarks. “Why are you getting unbundled? I’m not getting your shit from the car. I’m injured, in case you forgot.”

“Okay, bullshit,” Lizzie shoots back, even as she pulls her boots back on. “You’re in the actively rehabbing stage and are more than capable of lifting my suitcases.”

Sean hands Lizzie her hat. “Are they under forty-five pounds? Because I have limitations,” he says the last word like it’s a four-letter one, nose wrinkling up in disgust.

Lizzie’s mouth snaps shut on her response. Because no, her bags aren’t under forty-five pounds and in fact both of them have bright orange tags with the bold black HEAVY lettering. In her defense, winter clothes take up a lot more space than summer clothes. Boots, sweaters, jeans - all heavier than shorts and tank tops.

“That’s what I thought,” Sean laughs. To his credit, he shoves his feet into his sneakers and follows Lizzie out to the car, whistling when he sees the Tahoe. “Did you not have to tell the rental people how you nearly had your license revoked with all the points you racked up?”

He hoists Lizzie’s carry-on out of the trunk and over his good shoulder, leaving her to handle the two roller suitcases. She can’t blame him, not when he’s just following his rehab plan.

“They don’t ask about past infractions,” she informs him huffily, dragging her bags through the snow. “How aren’t you cold?”

Sean’s shoulder lifts in a shrug under his sweatshirt. “I’m used to it I guess? It’s not even that cold right now,” he stomps the snow off his sneakers before heading back inside and Lizzie does the same.

Once everything is inside and the door is shut behind them, Lizzie exhales roughly, finally feeling like she can relax. Her shoulders slump and she feels her spine curl as she slouches, one hip popped to the side. Her mother is somewhere in Boston, cringing because she can feel Lizzie’s terrible posture from a country away.

“Well, I’m not,” she shivers, the residual cold making its way through her body. Sean rolls his eyes at her and reaches out to roughly rub his hands up and down her arms, making her laugh more than it warms her up.

Through laughter, Lizzie manages to say, “that’s not working! I’m still freezing.”

“Yeah, but you’re laughing and not pouting about it,” Sean points out with a grin. He gives Lizzie’s arms one more up and down rub before letting his hands drop to his sides. “I hope you packed warm because it’s literally only going to get colder.”

“Whatever I forgot,” Lizzie smirks, “I’ll steal from your closet, Seanie.” She wanders off into the kitchen and makes herself comfortable, finding a glass and pouring herself some water. Sean trails after her and takes a seat at the kitchen island, propping his chin on his palm. He stares at her and she wrinkles her nose at him.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” Lizzie swipes her hand over her cheeks, feeling nothing.

Sean shakes his head. “Nah, sorry. Just trying to wrap my head around the fact that you’re here,” he shrugs, the corner of his mouth ticking up slightly. “It’ll be nice to have someone else ratting around the house with me.”

“I don’t rattle,” Lizzie leans her forearms on the counter, “I’m young and vibrant and not depressed, like someone else I know.”

“I’m not depressed,” Sean counters quickly. Too quickly. His mouth tries for a convincing smile, but ends up in a grimace. Lizzie winces.

“That’s not convincing at all,” she deadpans. “We’re gonna work on that while I’m here.”

Sean raises an eyebrow and Lizzie lets her face morph into a bright smile, forcing it bigger and more exaggerated until he cracks, laughing at her with a genuine smile on his face. “C’mon,” he slips off the stool and makes a ‘come here’ gesture with his hand, “let’s get you some dinner. I bet you haven’t eaten in a minute.”

Lizzie’s stomach rumbles before she can answer and Sean smirks at the embarrassed, sheepish look on her face. “Knew it!” He crows, pulling open the fridge and rummaging around. Lizzie keeps up a string of chatter, filling him in on the things he’s missed back in Phoenix, until Sean deposits a Scooby Doo sandwich in front of her, icy glass of water dripping with condensation.

“I can’t eat all of this,” Lizzie says, picking up the hulking sandwich as she protests. A tomato slips out and lands on the plate with a wet plop. Sean snags it and pops it in his mouth, chewing quietly.

“I’ll finish what you don’t eat,” he rolls his eyes at her. Lizzie should’ve known that since Sean’s been her leftovers garbage disposal since the day they met.

She manages half of the sandwich before a yawn cracks at her jaw and the adrenaline of her trip wears off. Lizzie tucks one leg up underneath her and watches Sean polish off the sandwich. She’s always been a little bit in awe of how he can eat at any time of day and keep going. Her late night dinner is sitting in her stomach and making her sleepy.

“Guest room’s clean,” Sean ushers her upstairs with one hand between her shoulder blades. “Get some sleep and we can discuss your itinerary tomorrow.”

“I don’t have an itinerary,” Lizzie protests half heartedly, stumbling over her feet so Sean has to catch her around the waist and steady her. His hand is warm through the thin fabric of her shirt and she shivers a little. His fingers flex on her waist.

“Bullshit,” Sean laughs, pushing open the guest bedroom door for her. “You definitely have an itinerary. And lucky you, once I’m done with PT for the day, I usually have no plans.”

Lizzie ignores the bitterness lacing his tone - she’ll have to cheer that right out of him. The injury had taken a toll on Sean’s attitude, knowing that he was missing the first season they’d ever play in Utah. Besides that, Sean’s never been one to sit still.

“I will neither confirm nor deny the existence of an itinerary,” Lizzie replies, faux-haughtily. “Besides, I’m visiting you so you really should be the one to entertain me.”

Sean leans against the doorframe, looking slouchy and comfortable. “Liz, I didn’t know you were coming. If you want plans, you gotta give me some notice,” he kicks a foot in her direction, lazy.

“Consider this your notice,” Lizzie kicks back, making brief contact with his socked foot. “I want to be entertained.”

“We’ll see,” Sean pushes her shoulder gently. “Get some rest, Liz. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Sleep comes quickly and morning comes even quicker. Lizzie tumbles out of Sean’s guest bed in a cloud of bed head and jaw cracking yawns to find him bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at the kitchen counter. He’s fully dressed in jeans and a sweater and Lizzie’s heart does a funny little twist while she watches him make eggs at the stove.

He’s humming to himself and Lizzie doesn’t recognize the song, but she wraps her arms around her stomach and listens quietly, the warm feeling of home washing over her. It’s peaceful until Sean turns and spots her, yelping and dropping the egg covered spatula to the floor, clearly startled.

Lizzie shrieks in an automatic response and Sean nearly nails her in the head with the salt shaker he’s reflexively picked up from the counter and drawn back.

“It’s me!” Lizzie rushes to say, heart beating wildly. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”

“Fuck, Liz,” Sean growls, setting the salt shaker back down with a loud clatter. “I think you just took five years off my life. Why were you sneaking around?”

He bends to pick up the spatula and toss it into the sink. Lizzie huffs a breath, “I wasn’t sneaking! I just…was quiet.”

Sean grabs a new spatula and shakes it in Lizzie’s direction, an amused scowl on his face. “You need a bell on your neck,” he teases. “Coffee’s ready to go, just hit the button.”

Lizzie makes an appreciative noise in the back of her throat and jabs at the start button on Sean’s fancy espresso machine, doing a little happy shimmy when the coffee starts brewing. “Did you already do PT today?” She asks, leaning on the counter and picking at the bowl of fruit Sean has out.

“Mhm,” Sean plates up eggs and bacon for both of them. “Bright and fucking early so I have plenty of time in my day to think about all the non-hockey things I get to do.”

“Well,” Lizzie waves her fork in the air, bits of egg falling to the counter, “I’m here to entertain and we all know how terrible of an ice skater I am, so non-hockey things are my specialty.”

Sean manages a faint smile and Lizzie nudges his thigh with her foot. “Seriously,” she continues, “I’m not going to stop until you’re in a better mood. And I’m stubborn as fuck.”

“Yeah, you really are,” he agrees easily. “But okay, we’ll do whatever you want to do. I won’t even complain, well, that much anyway.”

“It’s all I ask,” Lizzie replies with a beatific smile and a sarcastic flutter of her eyelashes.

After breakfast, Sean decides he wants to get in another workout and Lizzie takes the opportunity to get a few hours of work in. She’s knee deep in an Excel spreadsheet when Sean deposits another Scooby-Doo-esque sandwich in front of her, lettuce and tomato hanging out of the bread, cold cuts and cheese stacked cartoonishly high. A small pile of chips are on the plate next to it and he sets a fresh can of Cherry Coke down too. She tries not to think about the warmth that spreads in her chest when she remembers that Sean doesn’t drink Cherry Coke. She has an addiction though and for Sean to have the drink in his fridge means he stopped this morning to pick up a case.

“Thanks,” she beams up at him, chest feeling a little gooey. “My blood sugar was a little low.”

“I know,” Sean laughs, snagging a chip and crunching on it loudly. “I could hear you starting to mutter to yourself and you only do that when you’re getting hangry.”

Lizzie wrinkles her nose at him, but can’t dispute the fact. She shrugs and picks at the corner of the sandwich, pinching off a small bite. There’s chipotle mayo on the bread and she spots a pickle as it slides onto the plate. It’s a perfect sandwich, made exactly to her liking.

And Sean’s probably made her dozens of sandwiches over the course of their friendship, so she doesn’t know why this one is making her heart flutter.

“Eat up, Lizzie,” Sean takes a bite out of one half of the sandwich and finishes his sentence with his mouth full, “time to show you downtown Salt Lake.”

Two hours later, Lizzie’s bundled up against the lightly falling snow and taking two steps for Sean’s every one to keep up. He pauses at the end of the block and waits for her, grinning.

“What?” Lizzie huffs, brushing her staticky hair off of her face. She’s cold, but sweating slightly, and her nose feels frozen. Sean, of course, looks like he belongs in the cold weather with his perfectly flushed cheeks and the dusting of snow bright against the black of his puffer and beanie.

“Nothing,” he says, holding out a gloved hand for her to take. “You just really do not look like you’re enjoying this.”

Lizzie takes his hand and ignores the muffled spark that travels up her arm when his fingers close around hers. This is practical, it’s just so she doesn’t fall behind and get lost.

His fingers squeeze hers and Lizzie squeezes back.

“It’s been a while since I dealt with snow,” she admits. “Phoenix has made me soft.”

“Let’s get you a hot chocolate then,” Sean offers, tugging her gently back into the crowds. Lizzie gets her hot chocolate and they split a pretzel, Sean biting off a chunk straight from the piece in Lizzie’s hand. Salt crystals scatter and a few grains stick to the stubble on Sean’s cheek.

“Messy eater,” Lizzie teases, reaching up to brush the salt from his face. Sean briefly leans into her touch and Lizzie ignores the way his gaze locks on her face, studying her as her face falls into a more neutral expression. He doesn’t say anything, but he takes hold of her hand again as they explore the shops and other offerings of downtown.

The next few days fall into a similar pattern - Sean does his PT, Lizzie does a couple of hours of work, he feeds her and then they explore Utah. They see the Olympic Park and Lizzie hops in a bobsled, screaming her head off the entire ride and falling into Sean’s arms when she climbs out, legs wobbly and adrenaline spiking in her veins.

“Oh my god!” Her eyes are wide and her hands shake a little. “That’s actually insane. Like, I have no idea how athletes do that all the time.”

“We can mark Olympic bobsledding off the future career paths, huh?” Sean teases, tugging at the end of Lizzie’s ponytail.

“Definitely!” She bumps his hip with hers. “I think we can safely take all sports off the table.”

She trips up the stairs as if to punctuate her sentence.

Christmas Eve rolls around and they’ve been inside for two days because it started snowing and didn’t let up. Lizzie’s curled up on the couch with her crochet project on her lap and a thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders that she doesn’t need because the fireplace is cracking, letting off plenty of heat. It smells like the gingerbread cookies she’d taken out of the oven half an hour ago and the pine candle she’d dug out of a hall closet.

It feels like home.

“If you spend any more time on the couch, you’re going to fuse with the cushions,” Sean teases from his end of the couch.

“You’ve been here just as long as I have,” Lizzie kicks a foot out to nudge his thigh. “Maybe we both just give up on life and become couch people.”

Sean tips his head back to rest on the arm and Lizzie watches the column of his neck move as he swallows. “I could get on board with that,” he says, shifting his shoulder in a circle.

“Shoulder bugging you?”

“It shouldn’t be,” Sean grumbles. “But the weather fucks with it, I think.”

Lizzie sets her crocheting to the side and pats the couch next to her. “Come here, I’ll give you a really mediocre massage that definitely won’t help,” she laughs and Sean shakes his head, but shifts around anyway and comes to sit closer to her, blanket tangled in his legs. His body radiates heat and Lizzie finds herself subconsciously leaning into him as she settles her hands on his shoulders. He’s broad and warm, muscles jumping under her touch.

They’re both quiet as she works, the noise of ESPN SportsCenter (Sean’s choice) fading into the background. Lizzie’s thumbs dig into the knotted muscles at the nape of Sean’s neck and she can feel his shoulders release some of their tension.

“Feels good,” Sean mumbles, dropping his chin to his chest and changing the angle for Lizzie’s fingers to dig into a different muscle.

She hums a non-response, focused on the faint stripe of paler skin where he’d gotten a haircut and the scent mix of his laundry detergent and soap. Lizzie’s fingers tingle a little and she scratches her nails against the back of his neck, a noiseless laugh slipping past her lips when he shivers.

“Can I ask,” she starts, quietly, “why your family isn’t spending Christmas break out here?”

Sean’s quiet and Lizzie worries that she stepped on a land mine for a minute, until he clears his throat and ruffles a hand through his hair. “I told them not to come,” he admits. “They would’ve wanted to go to a game, you know my mom, she would’ve been all worried about me. I just didn’t feel like dealing with the whole thing.”

“So the only plan before I got here was for you to be miserable alone in the house?” Lizzie asks rhetorically, thumbs still working at a knot in between his shoulder blades.

Sean shifts again and drops his head back against Lizzie’s shoulder, looking up at her with big, puppy dog eyes.

She can’t help herself, she melts.

“Old plan is irrelevant,” he says, smiling a little. “I’m glad you’re here and we’re having a good time, right?”

“Right,” Lizzie replies softly. Her heart pounds in her chest and she doesn’t think before she leans forward and kisses Sean’s temple, a quick graze of her lips more than anything. Her hand slides up from his shoulder and curls over his heart, fingers pressing lightly into his shirt. Sean freezes and Lizzie’s eyes widen when she realizes what she did.

“Liz…” Sean says her name slowly, planting one hand on the edge of the couch to push into a sitting position.

She shakes her head and pats his shoulder. “It’s the heat. Super hot in here, do you want a cookie? Or should we order dinner?”

“I…um…dinner sounds good,” Sean sounds bewildered and falls easily to the side of the couch when Lizzie nudges at his shoulder and practically rolls off the couch. She’s in the kitchen in a few quick strides, putting distance between them. Sean watches her go, eyebrows drawn together over his nose. “Lizzie…” he calls at her back.

“Chinese still good?” She asks, ignoring him. “I know we said it earlier, but if you changed your mind, I don’t mind switching up.” She starts cleaning the counters, transferring the gingerbread cookies from the baking tray to a plate.

Sean gets off the couch too, follows Lizzie into the kitchen and leans his forearms against the counter. “Chinese is still fine,” he says slowly. “But, can we… Lizzie, stop for a second.”

She pauses, crumpling up the tin foil in her hand, a gingerbread cookie hovering in mid-air.

They stare at each other wordlessly, the tension in the air growing thick.

“It was nothing,” Lizzie finally mutters, unconvincingly.

“Then why’d you run away?” Sean counters.

“Because I needed to order dinner,” Lizzie sets the cookie down on the plate with the others.

Sean shakes his head. “No you didn’t,” he squints at her, head cocked. “Can we just…”

“Nope,” Lizzie shakes her head. “It was nothing. I’m drunk.”

“You’re stone cold sober,” Sean snorts a laugh. “We both are. And I want to talk about it.”

“Well I don’t,” Lizzie snaps back. Sean shakes his head and steps closer to her, her heart jackrabbiting in her chest. “There’s nothing to talk about, Sean.”

“But what if there is?” He takes another step closer to her and Lizzie finds herself chewing at her lower lip, leaning closer to him. “I meant what I said before, I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you and I don’t think I realized just how much until you showed up on my doorstep.”

The air crackles between them and Lizzie nods reflexively, words caught in the back of her throat because something’s changing and she’s powerless to stop it. She doesn’t think she wants to stop it, even if she could.

“Tell me to stop right now if I’m out of line. Tell me to stop, Liz, and I’ll stop. I’ll go right back to the couch and we’ll order dinner and we’ll never talk about it again,” Sean says, finally closing the gap between them and lifting a hesitant hand to cup Lizzie’s cheek.

She leans into his touch instinctively, her breath puffing a soft sigh against his palm. Lizzie stares up at him with searching eyes and Sean maintains eye contact, refusing to look away from her as he studies her face for a hint.

“Sean,” she murmurs his name softly, lifting up on her toes, “you’re not out of line, but…”

Lizzie can’t verbalize her fears, her worries that this will ruin their friendship. It’s so easy being with him and she doesn’t want to lose that.

“I know,” his mouth ticks up at the corner, his eyes softening, “it’s supposed to be scary as shit, right? But you’re my best friend and it’s not scary at all, because it’s you.”

Her breath catches in her throat and Sean leans in closer.

“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” He whispers, his breath a warm brush of pepperminty air on her cheek.

All Lizzie can do is nod and then Sean’s mouth is on hers, warm and soft and perfect. Her hands find their way to his shoulders, curling around the back of his neck, holding her upright as she kisses him back. He tilts her head with the hand on her face, his other hand finding her hip and pulling her close.

Lizzie’s been kissed before, felt the butterflies and the drumbeat of anxiety in her chest, felt the kick of adrenaline in her veins or the pit of dread when it becomes obvious that the guy is a bad kisser or there’s no chemistry.

Kissing Sean is like a warm blanket on a cold day, all of her thoughts and worries silenced because it feels so right. There’s no anxiety in her stomach, no sinking feeling of wrongness.

There’s just Sean’s mouth, curving into a grin against hers, his tongue tracing over her lower lip until she parts them slightly for him. There’s his hands on her body, fingers dipping under the hem of her sweater and brushing against her bare skin. There’s his thumb stroking an arc across her cheekbone.

Lizzie leans into the kiss, pressing her body against Sean’s and she lets out a little whimper that’s swallowed up by his mouth. Sean’s hand tightens on her waist and she hates to have to break the kiss, but she’s starting to get lightheaded from lack of oxygen.

She’s breathing hard, fingers still curled around Sean’s neck, when she says, completely breathlessly, “I want you to do that again.”

Sean laughs against her cheek, forehead resting on hers, and he nods. “I’ll kiss you as many times as you let me, Elizabeth Arnold,” he replies, kissing her again, softer this time.

Lizzie’s not sure how long they stand there, arms wrapped around each other, kissing and giggling, but Sean lifts her onto the counter at one point and she can’t stop smoothing her hands from his neck and down to his shoulders, her entire body fizzy and light. Sean’s hands are warm on her lower back and he keeps shaking his head in disbelief, muttering to himself how he can’t believe it’s finally happening.

“What are you saying?” she asks, scratching her nails against his scalp. She’s always been a touchy kind of person, but it feels different now that she’s allowed to touch Sean like this, she can’t keep her hands off of him.

Sean laughs, his smile wide and infectious, and he presses a kiss to her cheek. “I just…I’ve been trying to figure out how to, you know, bring this up. I was going to just plant one on you on New Year’s Eve.”

“That would’ve been a bold move,” Lizzie comments dryly.

“Yeah, well, it was a last ditch effort plan,” he rolls his eyes. “I’ve been thinking about it, about us, for a while. And you showing up out of the blue? Felt kind of like fate.”

“I’m really glad I decided to come then,” she leans in and kisses him again. “Maybe I’ll have to change my return flight.”

“Cancel it,” Sean says, eyes twinkling. “Work remote, stay here with me for a while.”

It’s not the worst idea Sean’s ever had and it sounds pretty appealing to Lizzie. More time with Sean is never a bad thing and now that they’ve added kissing? She’d be pretty stupid to go back to Phoenix on the second as planned.

“Okay, yeah,” Lizzie nods, answering with only a few seconds of thought. Despite her surprise trip to see Sean, she’s not a spontaneous person, so this feels crazy, but right. She needs a little spontaneity in her life. “I can probably swing remote work through January? If that’s okay? And then we’ll reassess?”

She can hear how her voice ticks up at the end, making each sentence a question, and she hates how unsure it makes her sound.

Sean cups her face in his hands and she melts at his touch. “It’s more than okay. What do you say about getting back on the couch and making out until dinner gets here?”

“Second best idea you’ve had all night,” Lizzie replies, shrieking a giggle when Sean lifts her into the air to carry her back to the couch.

“What was the first?” He asks, draping his body over hers and dragging the blanket over them so they’re in a warm, cozy pile. His leg slides between hers and Lizzie hooks her leg over his hip, her foot resting on the back of his thigh. Yesterday it would’ve been one of Lizzie’s wildest fantasies to be curled around Sean like this, but right now it feels like she’s been doing it forever.

With a cheeky smirk and already giggling, she replies, “deciding on Chinese for dinner.”

[borderline-fixated]

Why Jinx has BPD

Going thru the DSM to prove this

1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

Coming to save Vander after being told not to, to avoid being abandoned for being useless / a jinx

Screaming for Vi after killing Vander, Mylo, and Claggor

Using the flare to bring Vi to her

Almost killing Vi and Caitlyn after using the flare; “sister, thought I missed her, bet you wouldn’t miss her” (talking to her gun, Pow-Pow)

2) A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

Idealizing Vi while growing up

Devaluing Vi when she walked away and ‘left’ (was kidnapped)

Immediately idealized Silco after splitting on Vi

Devaluing Silco when he ‘lied’ aboutVi being dead & stabbing him with his medical tool after she found out

Splitting on Vi after she and the Enforcers came for her

Attempting to commit suicide in front of Ekko, and the next day them going to war together after an implied night together preparing (paint all over them, the hair cut, his jacket)

3) Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

Her identity split between Powder and Jinx, being egged on Silco

Forcing Vi to choose between Powder and Jinx during the dinner scene, ultimately placing herself upon the mantle of Jinx

Hallucinations and psychotic breaks about her unstable identity

4) Impulsivity in at least two potentially self-damaging areas (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)

Recklessly following Vi, Mylo, and Claggor to save Vander

Using 3 hexcore’s without rational thinking of how big the explosion would be

Recklessly jumping into fights she could easily die in

Being forcefully pumped full of Shimmer but seemingly continues to use it

No sense of rational thinking when it comes to explosions

5) Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

Throwing herself into fights as a form of self-mutilating behavior

Stapling her injury shut, the pain clearing her head enough to remember Caitlyns name

Trying to blow herself up after her fight with Ekko

Allowing Vi to kill her after their fight

Skin picking after Isha died

Implying to Vi, who she trapped in the cell, that she was going to commit suicide

Attempted suicide with Ekko multiple times

Allowing herself to ‘die’ with Vander (obviously she didn’t die)

6) Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and rarely more than a few days)

Sees Caitlyn as Vi leaving her, and triggering intense episodic dysphoria

Deep paranoid episodes about Vi and Caitlyn conspiring against her

Paranoia about Silco lying to her

Irritability seen throughout the show, nearly in every episode

All of these are triggered by something (which is necessary)

7) Chronic feelings of emptiness

Seemingly ‘empty’ in the first episodes she’s revealed as Jinx - killing and murdering with no impact on her psyche

Emptiness after Isha died, self harming to feel something

Her emptiness seems to only end when Silco dies and she can be herself without his influence

8) Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

This is like her main personality trait

Intense anger when Vi broke Fishbones, her giant gun

Intense anger whenever she sees Vi with Caitlyn

Recurrent physical fights that end with severe consequences (death, losing her middle finger)

This doesn’t deter her from fighting

9) Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

Paranoid ideation throughout the series with loved ones abandoning her, creating plots against her

Psychotic episodes and hallucinations of those she’s killed and lost

Dissociation whenever she’s about to lose someone or does

Psychosis and dissociation when Isha is kidnapped

Dissociative episode in her jail cell

I will definitely go more in depth on this once I can get ahold of my DSM-5 (6 hours away)

[knightobreath]

oliver's epic ii2 movie act 1 trailer analysis

ok so ! theres a lot. im going through it scene by scene

steve cobs KEEPS calling mephone. what the hell is his plan here. i would say mephone should just block his ass but i have a feeling that he is unable to. I predict that he's gonna have to answer at some point.

(also, i went and checked, but the sound that played is the same as the hang up sound from ep15)

also hotel oj party yayyy everyone gets to hang out and have some fun before everything goes to Shit!

this shot's just fucked up man. i don't think i need to explain what this parallels.

this is either a realization or someone walking in, and i think it's the latter because there's little build up. I cannot tell who it would be based on his reaction only, but it Would be someone in the hotel.

OR. what if it's another hallucination like with 4s in the iii finale? That would explain why there's no light from a door opening.

baseball was already upset before seeing taco & mepad

his reaction BARELY CHANGED when he did see them (the eyebag line showed up after he looked through the door)

mepad is comforting taco, who is likely worked up about you know. talking to pickle and mic

man i actually like the bullets format im going with this from now on

mic is happy! I don't have any predictions for the context of this scene

we're getting stuff on knife and trophy!

can't really extrapolate from this scene, hard to tell if trophy was throwing the can there on purpose or not.

test tube, fan, and paintbrush are going to play a very active role in the episode

As pointed out here, they're in the area that Paintbrush burned down in episode 12.

This area has a direct tie to Cobs with the painting, it's possible that they're trying to stop him on their own.

The device test tube is holding is a reused asset, and was both the time machine from episode 12 and the gem detecting device from episode 13. due to this reuse of the asset, we can't know for sure what it does here.

My prediction is that the device is being used to detect something meeple-related.

I'll note here that mephone is only shown inside of the hotel for the duration of the trailer, I believe that he might be hiding in there for most of this act while the contestants go out and actually try to fix things.

NOW THIS IS INTERESTING. Knife and suitcase are traveling in the Grand Slams balloon from Theft and Battery.

Since it's only the two finalists, this could be a part of the final challenge.

Hot air balloons in ii have only been used twice. once in theft and battery to get to mecloud, and once in the great bluish bake-off to get to the end of the desert.

I predict that because of cobs's importance to the plot of this episode that this balloon is going to mecloud, although I'm not entirely sold on the idea.

I predict that this goes before the scene where they're outside of the hotel.

tt and pb have an idea! and they're confident in it.

Judging by paper's expression, this was brought on by something Not Good Happening.

blah blah somehow i connect this to meeple shenanigans okay moving on

simple! suitcase and knife entering the hotel

hi lightbulb

Cobs is PERSISTENT. voiceover backs this up

He must call mephone a lot during the episode

Mephone is clearly running off so people don't see him constantly receiving these calls. i bet hes having a complete crisis over it. panic attack

I predict that as the justification because hotel OJ seems to be a relatively safe space. Theres a total horror to it, a looming danger only one person can really see. He's being hunted down in the middle of a party.

I predict that Cobs's presence in this episode is mostly through this looming horror.

Then there's the flashback of episode 15 with mepad being mad at mephone, voiceover is mephone asking mepad for help, and i'll take a break from dissecting visuals for a sec

MEPHONE: We can't escape him this time! MEPHONE: You have to help. MEPAD: We no longer work together. MEPHONE: Then, don't do it for me.

The voice lines may be put together from other parts of the episode

ehehe i get to talk about mepad. Okay

Mepad not working with mephone extends beyond the show. He actually just doesnt want anything to do with him anymore. oh my god

listen. i would write a whole essay about mepad and mephone rn But i have more scenes to get through.

mephone being the one guy that mepad refuses to help anymore is sending me Dude you fucked this up bad. you ruined your relationship with the one guy whos willing to help literally anyone. but it also shows how out of depth he was coming back from iii because his previous development is not helping him with his mental health this fucked

the "don't do it for me" is said over a scene showing all of the hotel oj guests implying that mepad should do it for everyone else. while this is definitely true i think mepad should also just do it for himself. please. please have mepad start doing things for himselffffffffff PLEASE

I'll touch on this more as i go through the visuals

taco knocking on pickle's door. it's happening chat

and i think he saw her

judging by the eye height though? I'm not actually sure. Taco isn't that tall, so either he sees Mepad or someone/thing else. Most likely has to do with taco though.

off topic but does oj seriously decorate his hotel's walls with images of cups and oranges. someone get this guy an interior decorator PLEASE

Don't have much to say here. not much is happening and there doesn't seem to be any implications with this bit.

whys paper so mad at those hats

off they go!

i bet these two will be running around in the background of everything a lot.

likely not using mepad's teleportation because it's flashy and noisy, which doesnt work well for stealth.

everyone's here! except for nickel, who doesnt show up at all in this trailer. don't know what to say about that.

salt also isnt in this particular shot, but she was at the party in another shot earlier.

Oh and mephone. He's probably stepping outside to take a call hehehehehehehehehehehe

pickle also isn't here, but i expect he's either avoiding the party for some reason or preoccupied with a certain sideplot. Or both.

ANIMATION ERROR SPOTTED!!!! BOMB IS ON A LAYER BELOW TROPHY!!!!!

everyone seems to be having such a nice time enjoying themselves! it would be a shame if something horrible were to happen and several characters were to permadie

*cough*but of course that wouldnt happen. Um

the final shot of the trailer is mepad

i love mepad

i hope he doesnt die

this means hes gonna have another big role in an episode...

it seems a lot of the plot is gonna hinge on the decisions made by mepad. specifically if he's gonna help mephone or not

okay I'm tired. i may add more later. WAIT my final thoughts,

BIG PREDICTION: Mephone will try to hide the cobs calls at the party but will get found out. When he's found out various characters (including tt pb and fan as shown earlier) will try to help in some way. This is act 1, so a lot of stuff will be set up but there wont be any big deliveries.

Mepad will play another big role.

Taco WILL talk to pickle.

Any big deaths, especially permadeaths, will either happen right at the end of this act or in a later act altogether.

more toilet. please animaitonepic Please show us toilet again. i have hope since we saw the ep12 challenge area.

this party is not ending well.

i need to rewatch season 1 i barely remember it

[l4brvtality]

Hey, can you write about damian x reader reader going through a horrible depressive episode where her friends left her out, her mom passed away and he broke up with her, after finn and dom gave him their thoughts he went to her home to make things right for her and found her in a horrible state that made him take care of her like, prepare a bath and cook her dinner

Moonlight on the river | 1/2

Gif Creds

Pairings - Damian Priest x Reader

Word count - 1.1k

Warnings - Angst , Damian breaking up with you , Reader have the worst day tbh, Mentions of parent death , Just over all angst :((

NOT PROOFREAD

You sat in the bathroom stall. Tears quickly falling as you tried wiping them with your hands. Your breathing was out of control at this point and you couldn’t even control the tears that would fall onto your cheeks. You had been on a girls day with your friends , but it felt like you were the only one being left out. This was supposed to be something to distract you from the problems that had been going on. But today , you felt like a burden instead of a friend. 

You tried brushing it off , thinking you had just been overthinking. But after a couple time of them ignoring you and eventually walking off in the middle of you talking.  Which is how you ending up here. In a bathroom stall. Letting the tears that were begging to be released, falling onto your cheeks.

You eventually got the strength to open the bathroom stall, splashing you’re face with water. As you walked to your car , you saw a text ping on your phone. You felt a smile form onto your face as you saw Damian , you boyfriend had texted you. A smile that quickly faded when reading the seriousness of the text.

“We need to talk.” It read

Your face morphed into confusion as you realized what this text could mean. Did he want to break up with you? Did something happen to him? The seriousness of his text was unbelievable as he had never been like this before. But nonetheless, you drove your car to the house you and Damian shared. 

Pulling up in the driveway, you saw the light to the bedroom was turned on. You got out of your car , walking over to the door. You unlocked the door and immediately walked upstairs to the bedroom you and Damian shared. Where you found Damian sitting in the front of it. He was fidgeting with his hands. What was he so nervous about? You thought.

“Hey whats up,” you asked seeing his nervousness.

“I think we should break up,” he spoke up. After a couple minutes of silence he finally spoke up again.

“We’re too different. And I feel like I cant love you if you cant love yourself. I mean , there’s other people that understad me in a million ways that I just think aren’t possible for you,” He  finally looked up at me. He had a cold stare. You felt yourself shiver from the atmosphere of the room.

You were confused. Although You had always been insecure , you thought that Damian didn’t care that much about it. You thought he wanted to help you through these insecurities not slander you for them. But you were wrong.

“I-I,” You tried speaking , but Damian cut you off.

“I just think I cant be together with someone so insecure. Someone who cant bare to love themselves and cant love me the way I want to be loved.” He spoke. His voice was cold. Unfazed. He had no remorse for the things he was saying. And that made break.

Once he saw the tears shine in your eyes, he got up grabbing his bags and heading for the door. How could he be so cruel? You thought. All you could do was stand in the doorway as you felt him brush past you. Giving you one more looked he went downstairs. You soon heard the front door slam shut as his car unlocked. You felt like you were going to throw up your insides. No way your day could get shittier than this. But atlas, it did.

Your POV —

I took a shower feeling the tears threatening to fall. I tried to hold in my emotions. But thinking about the day and how I had been treated by someone I lived most , it was hard to say the least. I heard my phone buzz on the counter as I stepped put the shower. With shaky hands I picked up my phone and answered it. But I wasn’t prepared for what was said on the other side.

“Hello is this Y/N?” The person asked

“Yes this is she.. what do you need?” You began feeling worried. 

“We are sad to inform you but , your mom (Moms Government name) has been hit by a drunk driver. She unfortunately passed away this morning. Im sorry we couldn’t get to you at that time—“ as she continued to speak, I felt myself getting dizzy. This couldn’t be happening. Not today.  You thought.

Damians POV —

I walked into The Judgment Day’s locker room, getting ready for my match. But I noticed the atmosphere felt different. Dom and Finn were mostly quiet. They were never this way before?

“Guys tell me whats up why are you two so quiet?” I asked.

Dominik scratched his head as Finn opened his mouth to answer me.

“Look man we’ll talk after the promo,” Finn and Dominik both walked past me as I stared at them in shock.

After the promo , me , Finn , and Dominik walked back stage. Back to our locker room. I tried not to let my confusion get into the way of the promo, but I ofter found myself zoning out whole thinking about it. They had never acted this way towards me , so what made their feelings change? 

I sat down on the locker room bench as I waited for Finn and Dominik to talk.

“Look we know about the Y/N situation..,” Dominik spoke first.

“And we dont think what you did was valid man , I mean did you know what happened to her mom that day, and the fact you put the weight of a breakup on her is just cruel..” Finn chimed in.

I felt confused. 

“What happened with her mom?” I asked.

Dominik sighed as he began to speak.

“She got into a car crash — A drunk driver is what she said.” 

“Look the only reason we know this is because Rhea told us about. After she texted Rhea about the breakup, and she repeated what you said— she just broke down man,” Dominik had a sour look on his face , meanwhile Finn turned away from them both.

Then the realization hit me. Thats why her eyes were so red. She had been carrying a hard weight in her shoulder. And when I broke up with her , that was just the cherry in top. A heavy weight of guild filled my mind as Finn and Damian told me what had happened. By the end , I knew I had to talk to her. Make things right. That was the least I could do, I thought to myself.

A/N 💬 - Yall please bare with me 😭 Im fr trying to get these requests done I have like 8 left so just be patient 💕

[ananke-xiii]

The Identity of the Man in Yellow

These are just my speculations but you still have to have watched S3E10 of FROM to get all the references. So it's not exactly spoiler-y because S3 ended weeks ago, but if you haven't caught up with all the episodes it is, lol.

The first thing I want to say is that I havent't found anybody talking about the significance of the color yellow and it's a bit weird because it's such a glaring thing! I'd like to write about it because the use of colors in general but in American media is always very precise. I mean, yes, color studies and film studies go hand in hand but also I've always been fascinated by how American writers are very intentional with their choice of colors in their works (Poe and Melville with white, Hawthorne and red, Morrison and blue, Perkins Gilman and yellow but also Fitzgerald and yellow/gold etc).

If it wasn't clear enough before, it is now: one of FROM's undercurrent themes is race. This is why I'm baffled by people being confused as to who the monsters are. I mean, guys, please. An eerie town stuck in the fifties, isolated, in the middle of nowhere. Where there's a sign for a motel but no motel (which I take as an unwillingness to welcome foreigners but an interest in luring them in). Where all monsters are white (I have things to say about the Kimono Girl but I won't now) and blood is represented as being infectious and carrier of weird things&death.

I think it's safe to say that one of the meanings of the monsters is to represent the cultural anxities of white people around racial purity. Throw in the Civil War soldiers, the never spoken-about-but-it's-there Vietnam War and the fact that Boyd is black and his wife Abby is white and their son Ellis marries Fatima and that from their union SYMBOLICALLY (I have to highlight this word everytime) a monster is reborn... That the monsters want to BREAK Boyd... There's no escape, the monsters are all about race.

So what does this have to do with the Man in Yellow? (It's a long post)

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I believe that the Man in Yellow is Jim's father.

No, not his actual father, rather the reincarnation of Jim's father. I don't know how to technically fit this into the reincarnation aspect, but, I believe, just like Tabitha and Jade are destined to go back to the town to save the children (and fail), the Man in Yellow is destined to go back to the town to continue the abuse (and succeed). Because the thing about the cycle of abuse is not only about victims who keep being sacrificed but also about abusers who keep doing the sacrifice. And since the sacrifice is all about parents and children... the Man in Yellow must be someone's father and my money's on Jim.

If you really think about it, it makes sense because monsters are connected with immortality but they were CLEARLY scammed by someone because, surprise!, they can very much die. Sure, they can be reborn the same as before (not reincarnated) but they need actual people there for them to come back. Which means that someone must send/attract/lure these people to the town.

It's not a coincidence that a lot of screen-time is given to Jasper, the ventriloquist dummy. To me the monsters are like the dummy so there must be a ventriloquist as well.

The facts are these:

in the pilot the little girl opens the window because the monster tells her that she's her grandma. It's established from day 1 that we need to watch out for grandparents or people claiming to be them;

the father of said child MUST die because he failed to protect his child (and wife). In hindsight THAT was a HUGE clue;

right before the Matthews met the tree (lol), Jim says how he wishes things were like they were before and recalls the day he and Tabitha met her parents. Tabitha says that she was terrified that they wouldn't like him. So the theme of fear is very much connected to that of the parents' parents since the very first scenes of the show;

for the love of all that is holy I cannot find this scene but I am SURE that, at one ONE point in season 2, Ethan asks Jim if they will ever see Thomas and his (Ethan's) grandfather again. By linking Thomas with his grandpa I think it's safe to assume that grandpa is dead just like Thomas is. Now it could be Tabitha's father but I think Ethan's talking about Jim's here;

in season 3 when Jim talks with Henry in the bar he mentions that his father was/is (I don't remember but, see above, I think grandpa is dead) an alcoholic. He says this because he recounts the night Julie was born because that night he went to a bar and decided to quit drinking because he didn't want to be like his father;

the link between the Stevens and the Matthews is Julie. Future!Julie saves Boyd by giving him the rope (even if she doesn't know that there's Boyd in that shaft) and Boyd saves Julie in return from whatever happened to her, Randall and Marielle in S2. In a similar fashion, future!Julie will try to save Jim, although she seems to be unsuccessful;

music: Boyd had to destroy the music-box to save Julie and the others and, in so doing, he destroyed his chance to uncover his past (well, this is my hypothesis tbh). On the other hand, music allows Tabitha and Jade to remember and, potentially, to save the children;

Boyd's father, thus Ellis's grandfather had Parkison's and Boyd thinks he has it too;

and now for the meatier part: Jim and the Man in Yellow scene in "Revelations" and Boyd and Smiley scene in "Pas de deux".

The scenes:

In "Pas de Deux" Boyd is faced with a dilemma: his son, Ellis, needs a blood transfusion because he's been wounded by Dale. However, Boyd had been "infected" by Martin ("infected" is such an ugly word but this is the general vibe that I get from the show and I think it's intentional albeit uncomfortable. Sometimes discomfort is important) and doesn't want to "pass it on" to his son. Kenny, Boyd's putative son, steps in and accepts to get whatever Boyd has in his blood "passed on to him" so that Boyd can be free and Ellis can be saved.

Boyd solves the dilemma by going out into the night, slit one of the monsters' throat and pass his blood on to the monster. In a surprising turn of events, the same monster, so-called Smiley, will turn out to be Boyd's SYMBOLICAL nephew. Smiley is what comes out from Fatima's pregnancy and Fatima is Ellis' wife. It's stated in the show multiple times that, before it was revelead that the pregnancy was real/unreal, Boyd would become a grandfather (I mean, of course, but like, mentioning it was meant to focus our attention to Boyd becoming a grandpa, not just an obvious, throwaway line like "oh you'll become a grandpa, you're old haha").

Therefore, when Boyd says to the monster "My blood is your blood now" he wasn't... wrong.

In "Revelations: Part Two" the Man in Yellow appears in the woods, by the RV where Jim and Julie are. He also slits Jim's throat and tells him that "knowledge comes with a cost". Since the previous scene had established that the "monsters" sacrificed their children (the "cost") to gain immortality, I think there's room to see the Man in Yellow as sacrificing his child (the "cost") making Jim the Man in Yellow's son.

My hypothesis is reinforced by all of the above facts but specifically about the scene with Boyd and Smiley in S2 because these two scenes are visually very, very similar. This would be good news because it could mean that Jim can "resurrect" just like Smiley did (hopefully in a different, less gory way).

There's also the element of Future!Julie linking both Boyd and Jim as father-figures to be saved.

Would this make Ethan closer to Ellis/Kenny in terms of narrative function? I don't know, Ethan baffles me because we know from day one that he's a super-key element to "solve" the story but the writers are rightfully doing their best to cover the answers they've disseminated throughout three seasons. So it's not easy to fully understand him but one thing is sure: he's connected to the Man in Yellow by the color yellow.

To sum up: Boyd and Man in Yellow are grandfathers of monsters. They represent the ancestors, if you will. This is the reason why the monsters are so obsessed with Boyd and want to break him. Boyd is the antagonist in the Man in Yellow's immutable, immortal story while he is the protagonist in our story.

Their sons are Ellis/Kenny (whom Boyd didn't want to sacrifice) and Jim (whom the Man in Yellow definitely wants to sacrifice). This also makes Jim and Smiley stand very closely to each other. Julie is Boyd's symbolical daughter and Jim's actual daughter. She managed to save the first at a cost (what happened to her in S2 started because of Boyd) but couldn't save Jim who, in turn, had to bear the weight of the cost of having helped Jade and Tabitha unearth their past.

The show is about reincarnation, generational trauma and children sacrifice. There's an element of "what goes around comes around" that must be stopped or this "cost" will keep be "passed on" from character to character and from parents to children. In other words, the story must be changed,

Mothers are shown to be the ones who are bent on breaking the cycle while fathers seem to keep repeating it because they haven't shared light on their trauma, yet. In this respect, Jim, if he ever makes it out alive, is/was actually closer to Boyd in breaking the cycle. For example, Jim clealry states that he doesn't want to be like his father, while Boyd is shown to believe that he also has Parkison's just like his father had (I insist on the "believe" part because Boyd refuses to be examined by Kristi and says that he "knows he has it" but I think he's being an unreliable narrator here). This makes me think that Boyd is convinced that he will end up just like his father, even if he says that the town won't break him. Perhaps he already feels broken inside. In "spirit" he's much more like the Man in Yellow than Jim is.

In all season finales Boyd is undergound which is a symbol of the unconscious and repressed trauma. A good indicator of whether he's gonna make it to the end alive or not will be to check S4 finale: if Boyd is still shown in an underground, dark place I don't think a happy ending is in for him. Ultra Sad Face.

You might have noticed that my first point (and the show's first introduction of the monsters) is about a grandmother. So how do grandmothers fit in all this?

There are also several grandmothers in the show: Tabitha's mother who we only hear on the phone (just like the Man in Yellow before his appearance); Elgin's grandmother who, I believe, was the person he was supposed to go see when he took that fateful bus; Tillie and her seven grandchildren (just like the number of the angkoohey kids) and, finally, Jim's mother, the piano teacher whose teachings proved to be THE key to solve the numbers' enigma. This brings me to my final point:

Jim's mentioning his mother in "Revelations" reveals that the Man in Yellow is his father (or, rather, his father's reincarnation). Why?

The facts are these II:

the last three scenes of "Revelations" are about remembrance, birth and death. Two parents remember their child, one "child" is born and the grandfather watches his "birth", Jim dies and his child watches him "dying";

the two parents were able to recognize their child because of Jim's mother's teachings;

Boyd watches the birth of his "nephew";

the Man in Yellow kills Jim while Julie watches.

There's a signifier vacuum around Jim in all these scenes: he's a father-figure for sure but right now he's a son, a child. His mother's child. And as one "child" is born... one "child" dies. And this child is Jim. Jim is a sacrificed child. This makes the Man in Yellow his father, because the sacrifice of the town is not about random kids: parents must kill their children. And so the Man in Yellow kills Jim. And so the father sacrifices his child.

In S3 of FROM we got a "I am your child" moment.

In S4 of FROM we'll get a "I am your father" moment.

[lightningfury13]

Stupid Todoroki family shit

The kids all decide to live with Rei afterwards. They tell Enji off and leave with her. Leaving with Rei actually ends up with them staying at their grandparent's who they've not seen a lot of. At first they think maybe Enji isn't paying enough alimony and child support in the case of Shouto but Rei overhearing this tells them flatly that's not it.

She's not allowed to live alone. She was under psychiatric care for well over a decade. She's just flat out not cleared to live alone. So she's living with her parents.

See the kids have thought for years that it was all Enji's doing. Rei's confinement, the restriction on them seeing her, and whole shebang.

Not that Rei neglected to watch her volatile son which resulted in his death, not that Rei poured boiling water over her son's face permanently scarring him, not the neglect of her middle children.

Nope in their mind it's always been Enji's fault. Whole thing. Forgetting that as a busy hero Enji wasn't home a lot period. That when he was home was he probably hurt or exhausted. That in the aftermath his sole focus was protecting his kids.

After all they were young, they just lost their big brother and their mom. They didn't need to know about the investigation, the ligation, the sentencing. They didn't need to know about their mom's psychotic break. The determination she was a danger to herself and others but especially her kids.

Enji let them blame him because in part he blamed himself. If he'd done more, if he'd been home more, if he'd helped more. Something, anything. Forgetting the countless lives he's saved, the cases he's solved. Some how some way he could have done more and prevented all the tragedy. So he takes all the blame. Never says a bad word about Rei to the kids ever.

At the same time though it's well over a decade before Natsuo and Fuyumi are cleared to see her. And only then because as adults they can sign waivers at the hospital.

By the time Shouto goes to see her she's mostly stable. Seeing Shouto and not reacting violently was a very big hurdle for her though he didn't know it at the time.

That said she's on a cocktail of drugs to keep her that way and one reason she can't live alone is someone has to take responsibility to make sure she takes all those drugs.

Now if the kids had known any of that? They'd have made sure she took her meds.

Her elderly parents concerned with their own meds and knowing how important they are for their health and unable to fathom that Rei might just stop taking them because she felt fine? Less certain.

It takes about a week before she has an episode. Sees Touya sitting with Natsuo on the couch and throws ice at his head screaming "why didn't you die?!"

Her parents restrain her successfully and but beg the kids to get out and to not tell Enji Rei broke her parole. Clearly she still can't handle seeing the kids regularly but they don't want her going back to the hospital.

Confused and baffled the kids have little choice but to make their way back home to Enji's the house they grew up in.

They're sitting around discussing what happened. Trying to call but getting no response from Rei's parents.

Enji comes homes. One arm in a sling. Looking like shit warmed up. Just exhausted from a 72 hour shift. Small grocery bag with the things he was gonna make one handed.

He's confused by the kid's presence but less so when they ignore their injured and exhausted father to immediately attack him about what's wrong with Rei?

He sighes and since they're all more or less adults now...he sits down and offers to order take out. He just doesn't have it in him right now to got back out for groceries and food for 5.

He then explains that Rei was convicted of child abuse and neglect and abandonment back then. Enji had actually supported the defense in getting her declared mentally unfit which prevented a prison sentence.

A lot of her time in the psychological hospital was as an inmate not just a patient.

There at first even pictures of her kids sent her into an episode which is why the kids could never visit.

At first the kids just don't believe him. Claim he's making shit up to make her look bad...but then Enji retrieves the case file which he hands to Shouto and Touya who should know how to read them and her medical report which he hands to medical student Natsuo and teacher Fuyumi.

Touya wants to say Enji interfered in the investigation but it was conducted by heros Enji was rivals with. Ones above reproach that wouldn't have given Endeavor a by if their lives depended on it. In fact it's noted in the case notes that Enji seemed guilty and encouraged then to find anything to stick to him.

Touya notices the note first...that Enji had been hundreds of miles away locked in a fierce battle with a villian that left him severely injured when Touya had set the forest and himself a blaze. His mother should have been watching him. Knew he was a danger. Had the powerset to stop him....but did nothing.

On the other side Natsuo is shocked by list of diagnosis and meds his mom was on before noting...she had been drinking grapefruit non stop.

It seems non sequitur until he explains that grapefruit cancels out a bunch of these drugs and Rei had to have been informed of that. In fact in the aftercare notes for her release it's mentioned several times.

Which means she hadn't just stopped taking her meds...she'd been actively trying to flush her system.

Okay this is turning to Rei goes supervillian territory. Might revisit that idea.

The rest is the kids seeing Enji dutifully taking his pain meds complaining lightly that they make him sick because Hawks has been trying to get him to humanize himself in front of his kids.

Natsuo of all people gets up and gets his dad some warm milk to take the pills with because apparently in all this time no one had actually just taken the time to take care of Enji and tell him how to take narcotic pain meds without getting sick so he'd just suffered through it silently all these years.

He goes to bed afterwards because the pills also make him sleepy leaving the files with his kids and the dawning realization that maybe, just maybe, their father isn't the root of all evil.

[the-tired-gay]

*i've connected the dots meme*

crazy theory time: so we know the breakup was filmed sept 17, and lou said in the last interview that he found out about the break up 2 weeks before filming it, so early september, and his last scene was filmed late september, according to exif-data on promo-pics

so it's totally possible that he's been filming for swat since early october, and will only be there for some episodes, and will be back on 911 for 8b

makes sense for him to get other work now if he knows tommy won't be back until early/middle of 8b, right? let's be a little delusional until the show completely kills all hope

I haven’t watched SWAT yet but from what I’ve heard it’s that Lou is only there for a handful of episodes a season, the first season being the only exception of that. Plus 9-1-1 knows it has to share Lou with SWAT, so it makes sense to get Lou out of the door to let him film SWAT. 9-1-1 can give Oliver the “will they/won’t they” storyline while Lou is away.

I just find it so bizarre that a show would just throw away a relationship that has gotten them so much positive attention, especially with no foreshadowing. If they wanted a clean breakup they could have done that, but they purposely chose to have it be sudden and confusing.