#is our prey

[muzzleoleum]

that feeling when you like someone who's also a wolf so you can just be feral and wolf out with absolutely no judgment

biting and claws but in a romantic way

[dcfilmblr]

Birds of Prey dir. Cathy Yan | 2020

[sunderwight]

Shen Qingqiu gets hit by a rare wife plot.

And it actually is a rare one because Airplane didn't even write this one down! He toyed with the idea before ultimately dismissing it as being too controversial for the tastes of his readers, and adapting only a few of the same elements for a subsequent chapter of PIDW.

But apparently the System can pull inspiration even from the author's thoughts, especially when there's nothing to contradict the concept and even a few threads of it still to be found in the original, and somehow Shen Qingqiu runs afoul of this previously-unwritten plot bunny.

The core concept was a cuck scenario, of all things. One of the Luo Binghe's wives gets afflicted by a poison that can only be cured by dual cultivation, but specifically can't be cured by by dual cultivation with anyone who has mastery over demonic qi. Something something conflicting energies, something bullshit something. Peerless Cucumber would have ripped the chapter to shreds if it had actually made it to publication, not just for the insult of implying that Luo Binghe should let one of his wives sleep with someone else, but also because why would Luo Binghe -- able to use both kinds of cultivation -- somehow not be able to keep his demonic energies from influencing the situation just in this one case?

Well it turns out that in his specific case it's because sex gets him too worked up to keep things strictly separate, and the degree of control required to treat the affliction whilst dual cultivating is extensive enough that even a little slip-up would be fatal.

Of course, in the actual chapter of PIDW, this same plot device was altered and used to create a harem orgy where Luo Binghe oversaw several of his wives "treating" one another's "afflictions", but Shen Qingqiu just had to go and get a fatal of dose of the more severe version (he didn't realize the risk, because again, this version didn't even make it into the novel).

Anyway, of course this ends up with Shen Qingqiu trying to figure out another way to cheat death, while Luo Binghe goes through the five stages of grief before accepting that he's just going to have to let someone else fuck his husband. This leads to an argument because of course Shen Qingqiu's not going to cheat on Luo Binghe, and he's especially not going to force one of his martial siblings to sleep with him, come on now, and Luo Binghe trying not to cry tears of blood while bringing himself to explain that a fair few of Shen Qingqiu's sect siblings would be happy volunteers for this task.

Shen Qingqiu's just like, well of course you think that, for some bizarre reason you think everyone wants to sleep with me. Bias is what it is. Really it's flattering Binghe but obviously every other person we know is straight, that's just statistics, and everyone in the entire cultivation world knows that Qi Qingqi would sooner chew glass than have sex with a man!

Luo Binghe, weeping now: Shizun please. This is serious. I need you speak words that make sense in the order you're saying them.

They argue, they reach an impasse, the clock is ticking. So Luo Binghe reluctantly turns to the most reliable source of information (outside of himself) on Manipulating Shen Qingqiu to Do Things That Are in His Own Best Interests -- Shang Qinghua.

At first Shang Qinghua is like, well I'm flattered Junshang but I don't think I could shoulder the baggage of fucking Cucumber-bro for you. But then Luo Binghe is like no I need someone who is way hotter and more capable than you, if Shizun is going to fuck someone else at my behest they're going to be TOP TIER so that when I fuck him better afterwards he's really impressed with me. Liu Qingge, obviously.

Not Yue Qingyuan, Shang Qinghua asks? (He'd take the insult a little more personally but honestly he's just relieved that he's not being asked to navigate this social minefield.)

No, Luo Binghe says. He's not 100% sure he could beat Yue Qingyuan in a fight even to this day, which in his mind also translates to not being 100% sure he could do sex better than him either, so Yue Qingyuan is an emergency last resort. He's way more likely to cry on Shizun too and Shen Qingqiu is into that shit, it's too risky.

Alright, says Shang Qinghua, and he thinks about it, and then he comes up with the beautifully simple solution:

Luo Binghe has to fuck Liu Qingge first.

Because of course the crux of the issue is that even with permission, Shen Qingqiu doesn't want to cheat on Luo Binghe. But in the twisted annals of his mind, Luo Binghe himself is still entitled to a harem, even if Luo Binghe is also happily monogamous in this life. So if he shacks up with Liu Qingge first then Liu Qingge essentially joins Luo Binghe's harem, at which point if Shen Qingqiu sleeps with him it's not an affair, it's the gay version of those fanservice-y 3P scenes that the wives in PIDW did. Shang Qinghua translates the concept as best as he can to Luo Binghe, who -- though slightly dubious -- must accept that so far Shang Qinghua's wisdom hasn't steered him wrong with regards to his shizun's eccentricities.

Luo Binghe's mission: seduce Liu Qingge, or at least convince him to have sex, or possibly to lie and (convincingly!) tell Shen Qingqiu that they had sex. That last one is the longest shot so he's probably going to have to just fuck him (Luo Binghe still underestimates how willing his husband is to believe that just about anyone would have sex with him).

Shang Qinghua's mission: convince Shen Qingqiu that he owes his husband steamy threeway gay sex or something so that this plan he pulled out of his ass doesn't backfire and get him killed.

[sbd-laytall]

Barbara casually mentioning that she steals money from rich people genuinely makes me laugh.

Birds Of Prey (1999) #19

[femalescharacters]

Harley Quinn in Birds of Prey (2020)

[unicoo]

Viserys neglecting his children is OKAY, but Aegon & Alicent doing it ISNT OKAY?…

Rhaenyra sleeping with a man who isn’t her husband AND having said man’s children is OKAY, but Alicent sleeping with Criston AFTER Viserys DIES ISNT OKAY?….

Rhaenyra & Daemon hooking up at Laena’s funeral is OKAY, but Aemond claiming Vhagar at Laena’s funeral ISNT OKAY?…..

Jace possibly cheating on Baela with Sara or Cregan is OKAY, but Aegon stepping out on Helaena ISNT OKAY?……

Daemon planning & plotting against literally ANYONE is OKAY, but Alicent, Criston, Otto, & Aemond plotting & planning ISNT OKAY?…….

Rhaenyra defending her sons & demanding Aemond be sharply questioned is OKAY, but Alicent wanting Justice for her son & an eye for an eye ISNT OKAY?……..

Baela & Rhaena being passed over for their BIRTHRIGHT is OKAY, but when it’s Rhaenyra who’s cheated out of her “birthright” it ISNT OKAY?………

Rhaenyra acts entitled & spoiled it’s OKAY, but let the Green kids act entitled & spoiled it ISNT OKAY?……….

Daemon pays to take young girls maidenhoods (most of them brothel workers who were TEENAGERS) it’s OKAY, but Aegon does it and it ISNT OKAY?………..

Daemon orders the death of a child & it’s OKAY, it’s JUSTIFIED, but Aemond takes RIGHTFUL REVENGE against a boy OLD ENOUGH TO FIGHT BACK and it ISNT OKAY?…………(idgaf what you say if someone bullied you then jumped you then took your eye & got away with it YOU’D BE PISSEED TO LIE & SAY YOU WOULDNT 😐)

Rhaenyra having “bastards” is OKAY, but Aegon & Aemond having bastards ISNT OKAY?………….

Daemon can allow for women & children to be hurt in all ways imaginable that’s OKAY, but Aemond taking ONE woman as a spoiled of war ISNT OKAY?……….…. (If Alys wanted to she could’ve ended up in various different positions yk being a WITCH & all)

Rhaenyra can lose nearly all her children & get compassion that’s OKAY, but giving Aegon & Helaena compassion over their son dying when he literally DIDNT DO SHIT ISNT OKAY??…………...

Visenya dies, being sad about that is OKAY, but being sad about Jaehaera’s death ISNT OKAY?………….…

Rhaenyra being a shit to children is OKAY, but Alicent being a shit to children ISNT OKAY?……….…….

Luke & Jace bullying Aemond is OKAY because they were younger, but AEGON bullying Aemond ISNT OKAY, because…?………………………….…

Because y’all are hypocrites! The whole point of this post is to showcase just how hypocritical the toxic fans (mostly team black) are. Rhaenyra & her side do it, all is fine & it doesn’t matter. Aegon & his side do it and there’s an uproar, they’re evil & deserve horribleness. Give me a fucking break honestly 🙄

If you see this tragedy and decide to make it worse by picking sides or not giving empathy, sympathy, & understanding to both sides then you need to grow tf up, mature A LOT, then look at the media again because somewhere along the way you missed the importance of this story and OUR WORLD is shitter for that!

[jes12321]

Love it when media portrays humanity as unbeatable simply because of how goddamn stubborn we are. Not because of our brains or technology or hardiness. No, we’re just thick headed bastards that don’t know when to give in.

[crumplstiltskin]

mr chilchuck...mr chilchuck tims...please...mr tims..

[zestys-stuff]

A little pov of Ralak checking you out from across the bonfire 🔥

Unholy… unholy thoughts behind those eyes

[lesbians4armand]

i really do love the daniel x fake rashid dynamic just for how delicious the power dynamics are. the assumed age gap and servitude putting daniel in a position of power that he is not really in at all in dubai in a house of a vampire. but that same assumed dynamic giving “rashid” knowledge that daniel does not have as the personal assistant to a vampire, who is fed on by him, and as daniel assumes, he also sleeps with. Daniel is jealous of this proximity to louis but jealous of “rashid” himself as well, wondering how he tastes.

then of course, the fact this is all a premise. Daniel is in no position of power at all, hes being played with, toyed with, all his private comments and desires are transparently observed by not one but two vampires that have the power of life and death over him.

but they ALLOW this, they allow daniel’s perceived power, his desire, putting themselves in a false submission to him as both an interviewee and a servant, letting him feel this power as a taste, but every time he gets comfortable in it, reminding him that its a game. wonderful truly

[sculkshrieking]

date idea: i give you a 60 second head start before i persistence hunt you through the woods til you get so tired and scared you start crying

@degloved and i are chucking more small town boy strahm AU stuff at you all. this time featuring big city boy hoffman <3

[dcfilmblr]

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn (2016-2021)

[awkward-parabuteo]

Sunrise in the field

[xplore-the-unknwn]

WAIT I just saw this!! 😭This is so wholesome!

Our man Dan Trachtenberg leading the predator franchise and celebrated the holidays Yautja style! That sword is so cool! Cant wait to see it in Badlands! 🔥

[femalescharacters]

Harley Quinn in Birds of Prey (2020)

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Jurnee Smollet as Dinah Lance Birds of Prey (2020) dir. Cathy Yan