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kasienda · 3 years ago

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The Five Minute Adventures of Snake Noir: Ch 7 - Five Minute Adventures of Ananta

Chapter 1: I Want It To Be You

Chapter 2: Best Friends

Chapter 3: Best Laid Plans

Chapter 4: A Thank You

Chapter 5: Unwanted Revelations

Chapter 6: Miraculous Abuse

Chapter 7: Five Minute Adventures of Ananta

Adrien’s room felt more like a prison than it ever had before, and he had always felt like the walls were closing in on him a bit, and so that afternoon he had snuck out to Nino’s the second he had managed to chase Nathalie out of his room.

Nino’s room - despite being small and cramped - never made Adrien feel claustrophobic. Adrien suspected it had something to do with the company.

“What should my snake name be?” Nino asked out of nowhere.

“You’re not going to use it!” Adrien objected. “You don’t need a name.”

“Come on, dude! Just for fun!”

Adrien sighed. “Basilisk.”

Nino tapped his lips in consideration. “It’s okay. I don’t feel much like the king of anything.”

“Python.”

“Boring.”

“Diamondback.”

Nino’s eyebrows furrowed together. “What does Diamondback have to do with anything?”

“It’s a type of snake,” Adrien explained, and then turned to Nino with a smirk. “But it’s also a type of turtle.”

Nino just shook his head. “That’s a better reason not to use it. No associations with turtles! We gotta keep my identity super secret!”

“The best way to keep it secret is to not use the snake at all!”

“What about something to do with time?” Nino asked, ignoring Adrien’s objection.

“Cronos.”

“Also boring! Dude! Why are you so bad at this?”

“I don’t see you coming up with anything.”

“Because you’re definitely the cooler of the two of us,” Nino said.

Adrien shook his head. “Nino, I named myself Black Cat. I’m not super original when it comes to names.”

Nino laughed. “Fair point.”

“And you are just as cool as me,” he insisted, though he whipped out his phone anyway and typed out a search for ‘names related to time’ and started scrolling through various sites with baby and pet names.

“What do you think of Baqi?” Adrien asked. “It means eternal.”

Nino frowned. “That’s an arabic name. Do you think me taking on an arabic name is potentially identity revealing?”

“Okay, here’s one in sanskrit. Ananta.”

Nino nodded. “A bit of a mouthful, but I like it.”

Adrien’s eyebrows rose. “A mouthful compared to Carapace?”

Nino laughed. “What’s it mean?”

“Infinite.”

“Dude! Perfect. Let’s go with Ananta. I wonder what I look like with the snake.”

Adrien groaned, seriously regretting in that moment giving Nino the Snake instead of Ladybug.

“Do you not want me to?” Nino asked seriously.

Adrien waved his hand in encouragement. “Just do it. I’d be curious too.” He was curious, too.

Nino grinned and scrambled to his feet. “Sass! Scales slither.”

Adrien found himself mirroring Nino’s excitement. These silly stupid moments with Nino were the ones that were keeping him sane at the moment.

The rest of the time he was a bit of a mess.

Keep reading on Ao3

Adrien found himself a lot more resentful of his homework than normal when it stole away most of his time to spend on his friends and on himself now that he was used to being able to finish at least half of it in the space of five minutes as far as the rest of the world was concerned.

And it didn’t help that it was suddenly so much harder to pay attention in class since he was hyper aware of Marinette sitting right behind him every single day.

Seeing her in general was really hard because he knew how she felt. He knew that if he asked her out she would likely say yes, and he had to hold himself back. Before he had given up the snake, he had been able to scratch that itch by visiting her in the evenings in a time loop.

Now? Now, he had to survive off of her garbled greetings and flustered blushes.

He lived for her blushes. The blush that had always been there since he had apologized to her in the rain the day they met. He had thought she was just shy and self-conscious. But now, it was easy to recognize that she didn’t do it around anyone else - not even Chat Noir. That blush was reserved for Adrien Agreste and Adrien Agreste alone.

It meant that she loved him.

It was a good thing that it didn’t take much to trigger. Just a simple greeting often did the trick.

“Good morning, Marinette.”

And the pink would bloom across her cheeks like flowers in spring every time.

That blush kept him from going out of his mind. It reminded him that she still loved him even if she wasn’t able to say it.

A god, he hoped that she didn’t say anything because right now, he wasn’t ever going to be able to say no.

“G-good morning, Adrien.”

He smiled. Her stutter was less reliable. She was getting better at talking to him, which he figured was a good sign, but he also loved that he could still fluster her on occasion. “How are you?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” she said.

He didn’t like that answer. He knew that it wasn’t real. He turned to her as she sat down, and leaned into her space. “Marinette, how are you, really?”

She looked at him in surprise. “I’m… things were rough for awhile, but I think I’m starting to get a handle on the new order of things.”

“I’m glad.” And he meant it. Telling Alya had clearly changed things for her for the better. He was so glad she didn’t have to hold the weight of the world alone anymore.

“How are you?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I’m still figuring out my new order of things, but I like to think that things are actually trending in the right direction.” It might even be true. He wasn’t sure, to be honest. He was definitely getting better at coping with the absolute insanity his life had become if nothing else.

“Will you let me know if you need anything?” she asked.

He smiled. “Of course.”

It wasn’t everything he wanted. It wasn’t everything he knew the moment could be.

But… it was enough.

At least most of the time.

When it wasn’t, he called Nino and screamed about the injustice of it all, whines about how unfair and unreasonable his father was, cursed Shadowmoth’s existence to all nine levels of hell, ranted about how much he just wanted to be able to be done with it all so that he and Ladybug didn’t have to worry about akumas or the end of the world. They could just be teenagers.

They could just be happy.

But Shadowmoth clearly had other plans. After a lull, the akumas exploded both in frequency and awfulness. The encounters were taking longer to handle - especially without the benefit of the snake - and Adrien was having a much harder time explaining his disappearances and his father was suddenly breathing down his neck even more than usual.

“Your marks have not been up to your usual standard, Adrien.”

“I’m sorry, father.”

“Need I remind you that you promised you would continue to excel if you started at public school? If you cannot maintain the usual standards of excellence, I will not hesitate to return you to lessons with private tutors.”

Adrien hung his head. “Yes, father.”

“In the meantime, you will spend less time with your friends until your grades improve.”

Adrien sighed, and trudged back to his room. The punishment meant almost nothing because as far as his father was concerned, he only was allotted an hour a week with his friends, and usually a photoshoot got scheduled on top of his scheduled “friend time”. And of course, Adrien was actually hanging out with Nino almost every day without his father’s knowledge.

But he felt exhausted anyway. He was tired of shoots, he was tired of homework, he was tired of Akumas, and he was most definitely tired of pretending. Tired of pretending for the sake of his father’s company image, tired of pretending he wasn’t worn down to nothing from all the responsibilities of both his personas, tired of pretending Marinette was just a friend.

He flopped onto his bed only for the akuma alert to go off two minutes later. Adrien groaned. It was the second one that day and the fifth one that week.

But Adrien dragged himself to his feet anyway. At least he would get to see Marinette again.

But it wasn’t Ladybug he ran into on the scene.

It was Ananta.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Chat Noir demanded.

Ananta was hiding hunched over in an alleyway with the whole akuma scene in clear view. “Just offering a little insurance. I haven’t actually engaged in any of the battles, but they’ve seemed a little rough lately.”

“Battles?” Chat Noir repeated. “As in plural, as in more than one?”

Ananta winced. “Yeah, I’ve been doing this for the last four or five akumas because things have seemed super dicey for you. But I haven’t actually engaged with the akuma or anything.”

“How many loops?” Adrien asked harshly.

“So far, none. You’re that awesome, dude!” Ananta raved, clapping Chat Noir on the back. “You would have known if I had been through a loop because I’d have to intervene to give you the info on the last loop, right?”

Adrien relaxed. “Right.”

....

But the akuma after that, Nino did intervene.

But at least Ananta had managed to stay out of Ladybug’s sight and out of any pictures.

And after the fact, Nino had insisted he had only needed three loops to defeat that akuma.

“I don’t like it,” Adrien had insisted anyway. “Please, don’t use it anymore.”

“Dude! I’m not doing this for some adrenaline rush. I’m not like Alya who goes looking for trouble, or like you who insists on throwing yourself in front of the blasts. I’m doing this only because it’s clear that Hawkmoth has stepped up his game, and you need support.”

Adrien started to object.

“Ladybug needs support, too,” Nino added.

Which was such a low blow. Because Adrien was never going to be able to argue with that.

“Unless you want to take it back?” Nino offered.

Adrien considered it. He didn’t want Nino to get stuck in a battle loop. He didn’t want Nino to experience anything like Desperada. At least in his own case, he was already damaged and traumatized by what he had experienced.

But even the idea of taking it scared the crap out of him. Because there was no way he wouldn’t use it to visit Marinette.

He missed her with every fiber of his being. It had only been three weeks. Three weeks where he hadn’t been able to have a conversation with her without filters, three weeks since he had been able to kiss her. He hadn’t been able to kiss her for like three weeks. Three excruciating long weeks where he hadn’t been able to tell her that Adrien and Chat Noir were one in the same. Where he had been truly seen for all that he was and truly loved because of it.

And the more time that went by the less convinced he was that he’d be able to come out of that loop.

“No, you should still hang onto it,” he whispered.

“Or if you wanted, we could give it back to Ladybug,” Nino suggested. “She could hand it out to whoever Viperion is.”

Which was reasonable. Though Adrien wasn’t sure he wanted Luka to experience a bad battlefield loop either.

Then the akuma alert rang simultaneously from both their phones. Adrien covered his hands in his face.

“Gah! Does he never sleep?!”

“Come on, mec. Let’s go.”

“I’m coming! I’m coming!”

During the battle, Nino had intervened, but he hadn’t intervened with Chat Noir; he had spoken to Ladybug in the final loop. The battle had gone amazingly smoothly after that, but Ananta slipped away before the traditional fist bump and Ladybug was not pleased.

She was pissed.

“You lost the snake?!” Ladybug demanded, her blue eyes flashing in anger.

“I didn’t lose it!” he said defensively. “I know exactly where it is.”

“You gave it away? Why?”

His claws tore through his own hair as he took a deep breath. “Because… it wasn’t safe with me anymore,” he admitted softly.

Some of her anger faded, replaced with concern. “What does that mean?”

“I can’t explain without telling you things you’ve told me not to tell you.” Which was mostly true.

She fidgeted on the spot, considering. “Can you tell me who he is?” she asked.

He laughed. “Definitely not.”

“What?! Why not?”

“I gave it to my best friend, Ladybug. If you know who he is, you’ll know who I am. And that apparently might lead to the end of the world,” he bit out sarcastically.

She frowned. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he admitted.

“What can I do?” she asked.

“You can’t do anything,” he told her gently. “I’m handling it.”

“I… I don’t like not knowing what’s going on with you,” she admitted.

He laughed darkly. “Welcome to my world.”

She blushed. She actually blushed! He had made her blush as Chat Noir! Sure, it was probably more out of embarrassment than love, but he would take it!

“I guess I deserved that one,” she said.

He took her hand and squeezed it. He wished he could sweep her into his arms and kiss her senseless, but he couldn’t risk that. “I know exactly how frustrating it is to be left in the dark.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He shook his head, squeezing her hand through their gloves once again. What would it feel like to hold her hand when neither of them was transformed? He wanted to find out. He wanted it so bad.

“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty,” he said. “I just want you to know that I understand. And I will tell you everything when it’s safe. In the meantime, can you please just trust me?”

She nodded. “Absolutely. You know that I do!”

And he did, now, didn’t he?

He smiled.

“I’m just… I’m scared that if something happens to you, the snake will be lost,” she said.

“The person I gave it to knows how to get it back to you in that case,” he said.

“And how would he get it back to me?” she asked.

“He’d give it to you or to Rena Rouge during a patrol.”

She seemed startled at his inclusion of Rena Rouge, but she nodded. “You trust him?”

“I trust him more than I trust myself. And as much as I trust you.”

“And they can handle the side effects of the snake?”

Adrien sighed again. That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? Could anyone handle the effects of the snake? “He’s done really well so far. This wasn’t the first battle where he’s been here, offering us a bit of insurance.”

She winced. “Yeah, the akumas have sucked lately.”

“Tell me about it.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry that I questioned you. I do trust you and your judgement. Your friend can keep the snake as long as you think it’s best.”

“Thank you, LB,” he said softly.

She nodded and smiled. He returned the expression and offered her a friendly salute.

Then he vaulted straight for Nino’s family home.

“How many loops?” Adrien asked without preamble.

Nino rolled his eyes. “It was nineteen this time. But it wasn’t bad at all, dude. Kinda weird and trippy, but not so bad.”

But Adrien didn’t like it. He feared the number would keep growing. How many loops was too many?

Adrien didn’t know.

…

His father had missed eight dinners in a row, and Adrien couldn’t decide if he felt relieved or disappointed.

On one hand, his father’s absence meant Adrien could ask to eat in his room, which meant he could escape the mansion that much sooner. And Nino actually wanted to spend time with Adrien.

It also meant he’d avoid his father’s censure about everything from his last photoshoot to the way he held his fork. Adrien simply did not have the energy to be on his best behavior.

But his father’s continued absence also felt like it reaffirmed Adrien’s fears - that his father didn’t care. And the longer his father’s absence the more desperate Adrien was for any sign, no matter how small, that his father had thought about him at all.

When his father’s scowling face did join him at the dining room table on evening number nine, Adrien regretted ever wishing for his father to make an appearance.

“Your grades have dropped unacceptably low,” were the first words out of his father’s mouth.

Adrien fought off his eye roll. He literally had two B’s and the rest of his classes were A’s. Admittedly one of them was borderline, but he didn’t think anyone else’s parents in his class would have found his performance subpar even if this was the lowest his own grades had ever been in his life.

“You also didn’t behave professionally at the last photoshoot. You arrived late and your hair and make-up had to be redone.”

Adrien sighed. That had been four Akumas ago. Or was it five? Honestly, Adrien was losing track.

“We didn’t get all the shots we needed. It has been rescheduled for Monday morning. You have two weeks to turn around both your attitude and your grades,” he father said without an ounce of warmth or concern, “or you will return to home schooling.”

Adrien sighed. “I’m sorry I have disappointed you father. I have been… having a hard time maintaining my motivation lately.”

Gabriel’s expression did not change at all. “Why?” he asked.

Adrien froze at the question. He didn’t know what to say because he knew there wasn’t a correct answer. And not answering at all wasn’t acceptable either. He was going to lose here no matter what.

He shouldn’t have said anything other than he would try harder.

Well, if he was screwed no matter what, might as well go with the truth.

“I think I’ve been depressed lately,” he admitted.

“You’re not qualified to make that assessment.”

“I suppose not,” Adrien conceded. But would his father offer to send him to someone who was?

Most likely not.

“What do you have to be depressed about?” Gabriel asked coldly.

And something within Adrien just snapped. Whether it was his sleep deprivation, being beyond overworked both physically and mentally, or his longing to drop all the masks, or some combination of all of it, Adrien didn’t know.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Adrien demanded. “Every second of every day of my life is planned without my input or consideration. I have no control. But I do all of it anyway. I train for national fencing competitions, get perfect scores, work I-don’t-know-how-many hours a week modeling for you. I have no space to breathe, let alone enjoy anything. I feel like a programmed robot going through a routine!”

The room fell into silence as Adrien’s tirade ended abruptly. Every muscle was locked and tense, waiting for punishment and condemnation. And despite that, Adrien couldn’t bring himself to regret it because, well, he was screwed either way at this point, so he might as well go down with a bang.

“Are you finished?” his father asked. He didn’t raise his voice, but Adrien flinched anyway.

“Yes, father,” he said meekly.

Gabriel removed his glasses and began cleaning them. “Clearly, I have expected too much of you.”

Adrien knew better than to find any relief in that conclusion.

“I will arrange with Nathalie to have your schedule adjusted. She will add additional recreational activities suitable to a boy of your age, and reduce your current obligations significantly.”

Which translated to they would remove him from school and schedule his so called free time with activities that Adrien had no interest in or with other teenagers he didn’t know.

“Father, I appreciate your concern,” he said formally. “That will not be necessary. I was having a weak moment. I will work harder,” he promised, though Adrien knew he wouldn’t be able to manage much more at the moment.

His father nodded. “I look forward to seeing notes of your improved performance this Friday.”

And now he had five days instead of two full weeks.

Adrien wanted to scream. And he did scream later that night when he had escaped to Nino’s bedroom for the tenth time that week. He ranted and complained about the unfairness of it all, and Nino just listened with rapt attention.

“Can I at least deck him, dude? Please?” Nino asked when Adrien had finally run out of steam. “Just once? He won’t even remember!”

Adrien laughed. “It won’t help anything.”

“I might feel better,” Nino disagreed. “You might, too.”

And then an akuma alert sounded from both of their phones.

They both groaned, but a second later, they had both transformed and were leaping out of Nino’s bedroom window.

The akuma was a porcupine the size of a bus. It’s spines did not look remotely friendly. That first impression solidified tenfold when the akuma started hurling the spines off its back like javelins in a jousting tournament.

But despite his initial misgivings, the fight could not have gone more smoothly.

Ananta had barreled both he and Ladybug out of the way, and helped them identify the akumatized item pretty much instantly. The whole encounter lasted about three minutes.

But when he turned to Ladybug and Ananta for their traditional fist bump, Ananta had pushed past the offered fist and tackled him in a hug. Adrien returned the embrace with a surprised grunt. A second later he felt Nino’s quaking form in his arms.

Apparently, the fight hadn’t been all that smooth afterall.

“How many loops?” Adrien asked softly.

“You don’t want to know,” Nino sobbed into his shoulder.

“Ananta,” Adrien growled.

“1,674,” Nino admitted.

Ladybug tried to reassure them both with small hands on their shoulders. Nino just pulled her into the hug, too, and didn’t let go.

“I’m really glad you’re both okay,” he cried and then he dissolved into wracking sobs again. Chat Noir and Ladybug both held him tightly.

But Ladybug couldn’t stay, as she was about to time out. She pulled away from their group hug with a concerned frown.

“Are you going to be okay with him?”

“Don’t worry,” Adrien assured her. “I’ll take him home and make sure he’s okay.”

“I’m sorry I have to run,” she said.

“Don’t worry about it,” Adrien said again, before wrapping one of Nino’s arms over his shoulder and vaulting them both up to the nearest rooftop.

He then ducked them both into a secluded alleyway that Chat Noir had used to transform before. Nino hadn’t stopped crying the entire time.

“Nino, can you hear me?”

Nino nodded.

“You need to lose the transformation, so we can feed Sass. Can you do that?”

Nino managed to follow the instructions through hysterical sobs. Adrien followed suit and both kwami’s ate a slice of Plagg’s cheese. It was a sign of how serious everything was that neither kwami complained. Adrien transformed again.

“Okay Nino. You need to transform again, and then start a loop. Stay in that loop until you’re able to stop crying, you got it? It doesn’t matter how long it takes. I will be here with you the whole time.”

Nino was still shaking and crying, but he managed to choke out the transformation phrase and called for his second chance.

Instantly, Ananta stood before him, infinitely calmer than he had been just a second prior.

“Woah,” Adrien said. “That’s weird. How long?”

“Just a few hours,” Nino said, his voice was quiet, but it was steady. Adrien wrapped him into a hug.

“Thank you,” Nino whispered.

“As you have told me many many times, as many times as you need, whenever you need.”

“I don’t know how you have dealt with it so well,” Nino said.

“I mean, you don’t remember all the times I was as much of mess as you were just a few seconds ago.”

“I remember you freaking out about learning Ladybug’s identity,” Nino countered. “I… I didn’t understand why you didn’t want me to use it for battles. I… get it now.”

“I’m sorry,” Adrien whispered.

Nino shook his head. “The alternative would have been so much worse, dude. You would have lost this one.”

“Thank you for saving our lives then. I’m sorry for what it has cost you.”

Nino shrugged. “I think I’ll be okay. Can I keep it for a few more days? Abuse it a bit?”

Adrien nodded. “Yeah of course. Abuse it like crazy and it will put space between you and what happened.”

Nino nodded, and actually smiled. And for the first time, Adrien was positive things would be okay.

“I already have some ideas,” Nino said.

“Do I want to know?” Adrien asked.

Nino’s grin was wolffish. That was a no.

“Have fun, dude.”

…

Nino still felt shaky the next morning. It was too easy to close his eyes and see his best friend impaled through the chest, his green eyes wide in shock. But it almost worked out in his favor because it hadn’t taken any convincing for his parents to agree he should stay home from school. They thought he was coming down with something - that he had chills.

He didn’t correct them.

He just rocked himself back and forth, nursing the tea his mother had brought up to him, and waited for both of them to leave for work. The second the door had closed behind them, he had bolted out his window as Ananta.

The freerunning helped, but it wasn’t enough. He had just gotten too good at it - he could leap across rooftops almost without thinking now, and certainly without any fear. What could seem terrifying after everything he had seen the day before?

And that was how Nino found himself on top of the Eiffel Tower staring down at the ground below - the ground that according to his best friend was 324 meters below him. Adrien had said at one point long before Nino had ever known of his friend’s superhero identity that it would take just over eight seconds to fall to the ground, probably a little longer because of air resistance.

Nino had never thought anything of why Adrien had taken the time to calculate that. He had just assumed Adrien was a nerd who liked physics and had too much time on his hands. Now, he found himself wondering if Adrien had calculated that for an entirely different reason.

Nino activated the second chance and leapt off the tower backwards with an ecstatic whoop. He slid his fingers across the bracelet five seconds into his fall, and rematerialized at the top of the tower giggling.

Now, that was base jumping. He performed the trick dozens of times diving off the tower in different angles and positions.

He knew Sass did not approve. The kwami had said as much when he mentioned the idea this morning. Adrien likely wouldn’t either, but Nino would only tell him well after the fact.

But the adrenaline rush was exactly what he needed to wipe away the memories from the day before.

Next, he had broken through his homeroom’s window, and swept Alya up in his arms. He definitely noticed Marinette’s disapproving glare, and Adrien burying his face in his hands, but he didn’t have to care about this. In four and a half minutes, this would have never happened.

“Ask me to tell you that I love you,” he said.

She arched her eyebrows. “Am I going to regret this?”

“Nope! No repercussions today.”

“Tell me that you love me,” she said, her face alight in a grin.

“I love you,” he said.

“How much?”

“More than a superhero,” he said.

She smiled, and her fingers locked around his neck. Then he kissed her hard. The whole class was catcalling behind them, and Ms. Bustier was trying to restore order.

Alya was giggling against his lips. “I can’t believe you.”

“I’m just getting started,” he promised.

He went through hundreds more loops abducting Alya from parts of her day. It was different every time, and he was insanely grateful that she played along as soon as she realized it was him each time without even knowing that he was having a tough time.

Or maybe, she did know. Like, she had covered Ananta’s exploits the day before on the Ladyblog. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to read the post, but someone had no doubt had caught the tearful group hug at the end of the battle, and Alya would have had a better guess than most what that likely meant.

And so when he showed up as Ananta and revealed himself to be her boyfriend she would know that had been him.

She didn’t ask questions or demand explanations. She just laughed and kissed him over and over. She let him abduct her from their dreary classes over and over and bury his face in her curls and wrap himself in her protective embrace until his senses were overwhelmed with all things Alya.

God, he loved her so much.

The tricky part was then trying to escape from each of their teachers. Surprisingly Mendeliev had been the easiest to slip around, but Bustier had given him quite the run around.

Once the school day was over he had followed Adrien’s limo home. He had intended to spend a few loops just being stupid with Adrien, but once there… well, he had been wanting to give Gabriel a piece of his mind since Nino had befriended his son. He had only held back because Adrien wanted him to, and Gabriel was terrifying. If only one of those things had been true, Nino thinks he would have pushed it ages ago.

Ananta set the timer from the rooftop of the mansion and then broke through the front doors.

Nathalie jumped to her feet, but he ignored her and stormed straight for Gabriel’s office.

Gabriel rose to his feet more slowly than Nathalie had to face his intruder.

“Gabriel Agreste, I’m here to tell you that you are the absolute worst parent.”

The older man gestured Nathalie away from the door. She stepped back, but she did not close the door.

“You are trespassing on private property. I demand that you leave,” the stoic man said, barely raising his voice, which Nino found infuriating.

“No! Not until I’ve said my piece.”

Gabriel took a visibly annoyed breath. “You’re clearly a teenager.”

“Your point?”

“You’re hardly qualified to judge my parenting approaches.”

Nino wanted to pull his hair out.

“Except that I am because I’m the one who picks Adrien back up everytime you tear him down!”

Gabriel considered him stoically for a moment, his hands hidden behind his back.

“Mr. Lahiffe, I have already banned you from the premises. Your adopting an anonymous persona does not negate those rules.”

“Your rules are stupid and unfair! Adrien is amazing! He gets the highest grades! He has an insane work ethic, and is always kind and respectful to everyone! He does everything you ask of him! And then he does more! He’s an Olympic level fencer and is fluent in three languages!

“And somehow, you still find him wanting. You never give him the time of day. You never tell him you’re proud of him or that you love him! At best, you ignore him, and at worst you take the time to point out every tiny fault!”

“He internalizes everything you say, everything you ask for. He tears himself to pieces trying to meet your impossible expectations, he buries his struggles and doubts, and you don’t even acknowledge his effort or his love for you.”

Nino was shaking in rage at this point. Gabriel still seemed unaffected.

“Are you finished?” The man asked indifferently.

“No! I’m not! I don’t know if you know how much you’ve harmed him! How many times I’ve been legit worried that he was going to hurt himself or give up!

“Somehow, he’s been able to survive it. But not because of any of the crap you’ve taught him about being strong and exceptional. He’s just that resilient!”

“Which is a good thing because he’s also Chat Noir!”

Gabriel’s lips tightened and his eyes narrowed, and Nino wanted to run a victory lap for finally getting a reaction from the asshole.

Nino barreled forward. “He manages being a superhero in between all the hoops and circus you run him through! And if he’s been struggling more than normal lately, it’s only because Hawkmoth has been putting him through the wringer.”

“Nathalie!” He called.

Nathalie marched into the room so fast, Nino was convinced she had been waiting right outside the open door the entire time listening in.

“Didn’t we eliminate the possibility of Adrien being Chat Noir during Gorizilla?”

Nathalie typed something into her tablet and handed it to him.

“It looks like we did not get facial confirmation, sir. The person we presumed to be Adrien was wearing a helmet.”

Gabriel removed his glasses and began cleaning them. “My own son, this entire time.”

Nino felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise at Gabriel’s emotionless words that felt like a prison sentence.

Nino’s miraculous beeped.

Gabriel’s stormy grey eyes shot toward the sound, and Nino took an involuntary step back.

And then Adrien’s father did something Nino never would have predicted. He lunged forward and struck Nino in the knee, and grabbed for the snake miraculous.

Nino dropped to the ground in agony, and jerked his arm just out of reach behind his back.

“Second chance!” Nino screamed, sliding his other hand over the switch, grateful that he had so much practice in the last few days that the motion was automatic.

He was back on the roof of the Agreste Mansion. His knee cap was fine, but his heart was roaring in his ears.

That had not gone as he had been expecting. Not at all.

Gabriel had actually attacked him and tried to take his miraculous.

Nino wasn’t sure what it all meant. But he knew it couldn’t be good.

...

#miraculous ladybug fanfiction #platonic adrino #nino lahiffe #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ladynoir #hurt comfort #supportive friends #coping #identity reveal #time loops #the five minute adventures of snake noir #my own content #ml spoilers #ml s4 #this fic keep writing itself #write just the fun part project #happy reading

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baoshan-sanren · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 37

of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling Fuck the Canon: Happy Endings For Everyone

There is no tea.

Not only is there no tea, but the Emperor’s small private study, located just beyond his personal chambers, is distinctly lacking in any accommodations necessary to serve or consume tea.

Ordinarily, WangJi would find himself irritated, even by such a harmless deception. After five days spent in the Immortal Mountain, however, he finds that he has become more patient. Perhaps not with others, but certainly with the Emperor, whose careless attitude and playful nature seem to conceal a much more complex character, one that WangJi has grown to respect.

The Lan Sect does not listen to gossip, but their new lodgings in the Jade Sword Palace make gossip impossible to avoid. Wei WuXian had lingered by WangJi’s side long past midnight, sunrise only hours away by the time they had finally parted. Yet, great many things seem to have happened since then, each one significant enough to shake the Immortal Mountain to its roots.

Before noontime tea, the Young Master of the Jin Sect had seen his betrothal annulled, the Jiang Sect had fallen out of favor, Sect Leader Nie had been given a title, and the Council seems to hover on the verge of being dissolved.

WangJi cannot begin to guess what all of these events mean, separate or together, but he knows that Wei WuXian could not have possibly had a sufficient amount of sleep. He also knows that the world of court schemes and maneuverings, as distasteful as he finds it to be, is an inevitable reality of Wei WuXian’s existence. A part of him is even slightly curious, tentatively attempting to forge a connection between these seemingly unconnected events. Another part of him feels pity, that Wei WuXian cannot begin his day without some sort of upheaval.

Even now, standing by the desk, wrapped in the heavy, intricate layers of the Imperial dragon robes, the Emperor is all exhaustion and tension. Less than a dozen hours have passed since they had seen each other last; WangJi had spent those hours in the peace and silence of the Imperial guest chambers. Wei WuXian looks as if he had spent them on the battleground, fighting for his life.

Still, when he sees WangJi, his face tranforms.

“Lan Zhan.”

WangJi nods in response. He is not sure when he had become fond of the way Wei WuXian says his name, but he can no longer deny the inevitable elation following on its heels. Each time, his name comes with an accompanying smile, and each time, that smile is for him alone.

“I hope you were not expecting tea,” Wei WuXian says ruefully.

WangJi does not dignify that with a response. One must adjust their expectations when faced with an Emperor who runs barefoot over the rooftops, and becomes unreasonably excited over rabbits.

“Uh, right,” Wei WuXian says, “there is something I need you to see.”

The bookcase behind the desk is filled to bursting. Perhaps, if it were only used to hold books, there would be plenty of space, and little to no chaos. But Wei WuXian seems to have filled the shelves with anything that could fit, and many things that could not, creating a precarious mess of objects that could topple at the smallest disturbance. There are numerous jade figurines of all sizes, small pots, boxes and ink stones, a few odd shapes that resemble children’s toys, books and scrolls crammed in between the objects, all with no sense or order.

It is a surprise when Wei WuXian manages to pull out three books and a flat box hiding behind them, without knocking anything to the ground. WangJi realizes that he has shifted to stand on his toes, fully expecting to have to provide assistance, or perhaps even protection from any wayward object that may come flying off the shelf to cause potential injury. No such thing occurs, however, and he places his heels back down, feeling silly for his overabundance of caution.

The flat box looks plain and light. Inside, it holds a single piece of paper, although it is immediately obvious that the paper is an Imperial Order, the Emperor’s stamp bright and bold, and difficult to miss.

WangJi does not expect Wei WuXian to simply offer the paper for perusal, without ceremony, and without any hint as to what the Order holds.

He is even more confused once he realizes that the paper is actually a declaration of succession. In the event of Wei WuXian’s death, the throne is to pass to--

He blinks. The Imperial Order is not long, for there is not much to the actual succession except naming the heir. Still, WangJi reads it again, just to be certain that he has not read the name in error.

He has not.

Well.

While he is reading, Wei WuXian is fidgeting. The dragon robes are not designed for such impatient movement, and WangJi resists the urge to grab him by the shoulders, and tell him to stop plucking at the golden thread on his sleeves. The robe probably costs more than thirty villages are capable of producing in a year.

He offers the paper back.

“I do not understand.”

“Which part?” Wei WuXian says slowly, and WangJi blinks at him.

Is there more than one part to the succession? No, he has read it twice.

“I do not understand why I need to know this,” WangJi clarifies.

“Oh,” Wei WuXian says, smiling again, but it is a nervous smile, as jittery as his hands, “This-- it is important. The-- line of succession. The person I intend to marry should know that the heir has already been chosen.”

WangJi narrows his eyes. He feels as if he had missed a part of their conversation.

His mind inevitably turns to the rumors that had flown rampant in the palace that same morning; the new title granted to the Nie Sect Leader, the dissolution of the Young Master Jin’s betrothal, and the possible dissolution of the Council.

Does-- Wei WuXian mean to marry Jin ZiXuan? It is a preposterous idea. Absolutely ridiculous.

But even so, WangJi suddenly finds that Jin ZiXuan cannot be allowed to live. WangJi will challenge him to a fight, then remove each and every one of his limbs, starting with his head. This should not be difficult to accomplish.

“You are angry,” Wei WuXian says, “I should have-- perhaps I should not have begun with the line of succession. I am not good at--“ he waves his hand, as if the motion is somehow supposed to make his words less incoherent.

He looks agitated and unhappy, and WangJi wants to help, but he is not sure how.

“You want to marry,” he says, trying to establish some logical narrative.

“Yes,” Wei WuXian says, “I want to marry. And before you disagree, I am aware that five days is an extremely limited amount of time to truly get to know another person. I have already gotten a lecture about this from A-Sang. And I have already gotten a lecture from your uncle, who can be extremely rude while remaining polite, a skill I admire, but do not want to confront again. Not if I can help it. And I-- I know life in the Immortal Mountain is probably not what you had in mind if-- if you had marriage in mind. Before today. But I think-- if you are willing to give it a chance, I could make you happy. I would like to try. To make you happy.”

There is a lag in WangJi’s understanding, as each sentence needs to be rearranged in his own mind, just so he can comprehend its meaning. Still, even with the lag, it takes him an abominably long time to fully grasp what Wei WuXian is saying.

Once he does, he finds himself shocked into stillness.

“Are you--“ Wei WuXian looks as if he means to move closer, than stops himself at the last moment, “You look-- more angry now. Than before. I understand that this is not an ideal proposal, what with the-- lack of gifts and ceremony and everything else, but--“

He sighs, apparently forgetting that his hair is neatly arranged, because his fingers make a mess of it in moments.

“An offer of marriage should not make you angry, Lan Zhan. I thought we-- does the idea of it bother you that much?”

WangJi needs to speak. Wei WuXian is capable of drawing thousands of incorrect conclusions before WangJi can formulate a single sentence, and WangJi needs to prevent this from happening, as soon as possible. But what is he supposed to say?

Clarify. This is always a good strategy, especially with Wei WuXian.

“Are you asking me to marry you?” WangJi says carefully, fully expecting Wei WuXian to laugh and deny it.

He believes that he had made his peace with the fact that the Emperor really likes him, whatever that means, when coming from a Divine Ruler. But marriage is-- something else entirely.

Even saying it out loud sounds ridiculous.

“Yes!” Wei WuXian exclaims, “Yes, I am asking you to marry me.”

“Why?” WangJi blurts out, incredulous.

“Why?” Wei WuXian repeats, the dumfounded expression on his face a perfect reflection of WangJi’s own feelings, “wh-- what do you mean, why? Because I fell in love with you. Why else would I marry someone?”

“You--“ WangJi’s throat is completely dry, and seems to have shrank into nothingness.

It is difficult to breathe, let alone form words.

This is utterly ridiculous. The most ridiculous thing WangJi has even heard, seen, or experienced, in his entire life.

And yet, he wants to hear it again. He wants Wei WuXian to say it again. The rush he had felt at those words cannot be described. It is obliterating.

Wei WuXian inches closer, his posture careful, “I still cannot tell when you are just angry, or so furious that you might try and kill me, so-- do not try and kill me? I should have probably led with the declaration of love, huh? I can try again. Lan Zhan, I am in love with you. I would really like it if you would marry me, and become the Emperor Consort. Your uncle has already given permission, and the Council is about to do so as well, or Empire will no longer have a Council. The throne already has an heir, so the succession is nothing to worry about. And since I cannot imagine sharing my life with anyone else, I can swear to take no other spouse, as long as we are both alive in the world. Is that better? Did--“

WangJi does not plan to move.

He does not plan anything. The chaos of thoughts and emotions rushing through his mind can hardly be called thinking, let alone planning. Therefore, he is astonished to find himself acting so brashly. But Wei WuXian does not waste a single moment with something so banal as surprise.

His arms immediately wrap around WangJi’s shoulders, as if they belong there. There is a faint, lingering taste of pears and honey on his lips. His mouth is soft, his breaths hot and fast, his heartbeat a forceful thunder against WangJi’s chest. The exquisite texture of the Imperial dragon robe under his hands has nothing on the actual shape of Wei WuXian’s waist. WangJi can feel the ridges of his spine through the material, enticing but also fragile, and raked with barely perceptible tremors.

Wei WuXian smiles against his mouth, then laughs, his lips pressing a quick kiss to the tip of WangJi’s nose.

“Is that a yes?” he says, “Please tell me that means yes.”

WangJi is not yet capable of forming words. An extremely advantageous hindrance, because he cannot simply accept an offer of marriage, regardless of his feelings.

The bright smile on Wei WuXian’s face begins to fade, and WangJi feels panic, that he cannot explain himself quickly and succinctly, the way the situation demands.

“Lan Zhan?”

“I cannot accept,” WangJi says.

Wei WuXian blinks at him, then shifts slightly, as if to pull away. WangJi refuses to release him, his arms wrapping more securely around the silk-clad waist, fingers clutching handfuls of delicate material.

Perhaps he does so with more strength and urgency than necessary, because Wei WuXian stumbles, catching himself against WangJi’s chest.

“I want to accept,” he clarifies, “but I cannot. I must speak to uncle first.”

“Oh,” Wei WuXian says, “That-- but he-- I have already spoken to your uncle.”

“You have spoken to many people,” WangJi points out, “Everyone whose opinion you care to hear. Other than myself.”

Wei WuXian huffs, his restless fingers now plucking at the thread of WangJi’s robes instead of his own. WangJi would grab his hands to prevent it, but this would mean releasing his hold, and he does not think he is capable of doing so, at least not yet.

“I should be allowed to do the same,” WangJi says, “You must give me time.”

Wei WuXian’s fingers have now found their way to the collar of WangJi’s robes, and the brush of them against the skin of his neck is extremely distracting. The logical part of his brain insists that this is an inappropriate way to have a serious conversation. A marriage, especially one that would make him the Emperor Consort to the Divine Ruler of the Shan Empire is perhaps the most serious conversation that can possibly be conceived.

But Wei WuXian’s hair smells like pears, sweet and heavy, and he keeps biting his already reddened lip. The other part of WangJi’s brain, the one that does not care for logic or propriety, insists that he should stop speaking and kiss him again, regardless of the seriousness of the conversation.

Lan Zhan, I am in love with you.

His arms tighten of their own volition, and Wei WuXian huffs out a laugh. It is a small laugh however, and there is and nervous edge to it, carrying over into his voice.

“How much time? Because-- what if-- what if you think about it, and then-- decide that you do not want to marry me?”

“Then, I suppose you will have to marry Nie HuaiSang,” WangJi deadpans.

Wei WuXian splutters for a few moments, the expression on his face rapidly shifting from shock to displeasure to pure exasperation. Considering how many times Wei WuXian has managed to exasperate him in turn, WangJi does not feel bad.

“Do not joke,” Wei WuXian says, “I am serious. Your uncle had given permission, but he does not like me, and he will tell you all the reasons why marrying me is a terrible--“

“Wei Ying,” WangJi says, effectively cutting off the flow of words, “I want to marry you. I will not change my mind. But you must give me time.”

He is utterly unprepared for Wei WuXian’s bright smile, the warm glow of delight that washes over his face, the tiny crinkles in the corners of his eyes. He is even less prepared to be kissed again, but he is more than willing, Wei WuXian’s mouth eagerly searching for his own.

They should have spent the past five days kissing. Any moment that WangJi had not been kissing Wei WuXian now feels an unacceptable waste of time, one he has every intention to remedy. Although Wei WuXian seems as invested in this plan as he is, he cannot seem to help smiling into the kiss, his lips often darting to press to WangJi’s cheek, his chin, the side of his nose. It is sweet and silly, his restless excitement, and WangJi is now certain that Wei WuXian had been right.

He will be more than capable of making WangJi happy.

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cheri-translates · 4 years ago

Text

[CN] Idle Chat with Gavin

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a feature which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

The CN server was recently graced with a new feature called 随便聊聊 (“Idle Chat”), where you can select a mood and talk to the love interests about work, life, and studies :>

Idle Chat with: Kiro / Lucien / Shaw / Victor

[ WORK - Topic 1: Overtime ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Yay! I don’t have to work overtime today! Want to have a sumptuous meal together?

Gavin: Good timing. I’m off shift today

Gavin: Apart from eating

Gavin: We can find other things to do.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I’m sorry I’m sorry. I might reach an hour late today. I have to work overtime suddenly to handle something...

Gavin: It’s okay

Gavin: I’ll come over to accompany you during that one hour. That way, you won’t be considered late.

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I really don’t want to work overtime any longer. I’ve been sleeping right after getting home for so many consecutive days, and have absolutely no personal time...

Gavin: Have you been sleeping well?

Gavin: Once you’re done with this busy period, let’s go for a long vacation together.

[ WORK - Topic 2: Income ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I had a shock when I checked the accounts. Without realising it, I’ve saved so much money! It shows that persevering in financial management is very useful!

Gavin: I find it very useful too.

Gavin: When I was young, I’d put my future into a savings box

Gavin: Now, I’ll put my future into our hands.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Why is it always so easy to spend money, but so difficult to earn it

Gavin: Mm, I also wonder about this question...

Gavin: Want to do up a plan to save money together?

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Barely ten minutes after being happy about payday, several notification messages for arrears arrived! I shouldn’t have purchased so many things last month!

Gavin: This month, I’ll be your shopping supervisor.

Gavin: If there’s anything you want to buy, let me know.

[ WORK - Topic 3: Program Progress ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Do you still remember the program I talked to you about before? After persistent hard work, we managed to secure a partnership!

Gavin: I remember

Gavin: Back then, you said you wouldn’t give up

Gavin: I’m also very happy to see that you didn’t give up.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: There hasn’t been any progress in the recent program... All inspiration has been expended, and our operations have also been exhausted...

Gavin: Want to go for a short trip with me over the weekend?

Gavin: To refresh your inspiration and motivation.

3. Mood: Angry

MC: The data provided by the partner is absurd! If I were to go along with them, nothing would be done!

Gavin: In that case, give them an absurd proposal

Gavin: They’ll know where they’ve gone wrong.

[ WORK - Topic 4: Program Results ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: This program was successfully approved! I think my incredibly~ superb proposal was one of the contributory factors! We can officially start working on it tomorrow!

Gavin: Will you be busy from tomorrow onwards then?

Gavin: If you need to work overtime during this period

Gavin: Remember to call me.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Is the work produced for the other party really okay... Even if it gets approved, there still seems to be something missing

Gavin: The MC I know is a persistent and confident girl

Gavin: No one can deny your accomplishments.

3. Mood: Angry

MC: When will the program finally get approved! There are seventeen versions stuffed in my file!!!

Gavin: A senior from the Task Force once told me a technique to examining clues

Gavin: List down the mistakes made in the previous seventeen versions

Gavin: And you’ll have new inspiration.

💙

[ LIFE - Topic 1: Losing Weight ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Did you notice anything different about me today? I’ll give you three seconds to think about it! Forget it, I think you might not have been able to see it...

Gavin: Cough, I could tell. You’ve lost weight.

Gavin: But it wasn’t because of what I saw. I used another method to determine it.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Should I reach a compromise with my weight? I’ve been losing weight then gaining weight - it feels like a waste of time.

Gavin: There’s no need to lose weight

Gavin: No matter what, you’ll always be the best-looking in my eyes

Gavin: ...mm, but exercise is still needed.

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I shouldn’t have gone for the dinner party yesterday! When I weighed myself today, I really became heavier by 1kg!

Gavin: It shows that you’ve gained 1kg of happiness yesterday

Gavin: Let it get absorbed into your body.

[ LIFE - Topic 2: Meals ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I accidentally bought too much... I don’t think I need so many vegetables since I’m cooking for myself...

Gavin: In that case, could you leave me a share?

Gavin: I’ll pay for the food expenses

Gavin: Mm, and I’ll also be responsible for washing the dishes and being an assistant.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I bought the snack which is especially popular on the internet. But when I ate it, I didn’t think it was great. Has my taste become disconnected with the masses?

Gavin: Taste is something personal

Gavin: Want to head out together today?

Gavin: We’ll find snacks that you and I both find delicious

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I made an absolutely perfect bento for lunch at work, but my hand slipped when taking it out of the microwave and it all fell out!

Gavin: Did you scald your hand?

Gavin: Let’s have dinner together.

Gavin: To make up for the regret of not being able to eat your absolutely perfect bento.

[ LIFE - Topic 3: Reading ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The science fiction book I read today is really interesting! It’s also especially rich in imagination. I think you’ll like the style as well!

Gavin: All right.

Gavin: But I’ve been busy with missions these days, so I might not have time to read

Gavin: I’ve noted down the name of the book. I’ll tell you my thoughts after reading it.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I was looking for spiritual comfort when I came across a book on philosophy. In the end, I think I’ve become even more perplexed by the world... Have you felt this way too?

Gavin: Mm, there are times I’m perplexed by the world too

Gavin: But once I think about you, I’ll feel calmer.

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Today, I borrowed a murder mystery novel from the library. Some unreasonable reader wrote the name of the murderer directly on the first page!!

Gavin: ...

Gavin: That’s really going overboard.

Gavin: Try treating it as backwards reasoning, and observe the process.

[ LIFE - Topic 4: Games]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I’ve finally defeated that difficult boss! I was even thinking that if I failed again, I’d refer to the guide. I didn’t expect to beat it!

Gavin: That level is really difficult

Gavin: I only managed to defeat it after reading the guide

Gavin: You’re very strong - a first-rate gamer.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I think I’ve outgrown the age of game addiction. I just feel like leaving once I go online. I can’t find anything interesting...

Gavin: Maybe you just temporarily lack motivation towards this game

Gavin: Want to try a new game?

Gavin: Minor recommended a multi-player game involving solving riddles

Gavin: I think you should like it.

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I met a cheater in the game again! People who ruin the experience of the game are so annoying! It makes me feel like giving up on the game...

Gavin: Report him.

Gavin: People who contravene the rules are being played by the game

Gavin: And not playing the game.

💙

[ SCHOOL - Topic 1: Progress ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The method you taught me is really effective! Today, I finally overcame the temptation to slack off, and successfully completed my task!

Gavin: There are many methods

Gavin: You don’t necessarily have to use the one I taught you

Gavin: But if you can get used to it, it shows that you have a lot of potential.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I’d rather doodle on paper or stare into space than look at the textbook... I’m a girl who’s tired of studying T-T

Gavin: It’s already late - don’t force yourself to read the textbook

Gavin: The girl who’s tired of studying should become a girl who sleeps early

Gavin: That way, she can become a diligent girl tomorrow.

3. Mood: Angry

MC: There are only ten more days till the end of the course, and my learning progress has just begun...

Gavin: There are still ten days

Gavin: Which means there are 240 hours, 14400 minutes

Gavin: If you look at it this way, there’s still time.

[ SCHOOL - Topic 2: Homework ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The teacher actually complimented me today. Even though all she said was that my work is neat... I’m still very happy!

Gavin: Even back then, your handwriting was always delicate and neat

Gavin: Just like you as a person.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I can’t help but find excuses to slack off whenever I scan through the questions. I just scanned through five minutes worth of video clips...

Gavin: And now you’ve slacked off by sending me 25 words.

Gavin: Be a little more focused.

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Even though there isn’t much homework in each course, when you put them together, it’s basically WAY. TOO. MUCH.

Gavin: When I was in school, I also felt that there was a lot of homework

Gavin: So I would prioritise the easier questions first...

Gavin: It isn’t a special method, but you can try it.

[ SCHOOL - Topic 3: Pre-exam Revision ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Today, I memorised all the examinable points. Tomorrow, I’ll be entering the battlefield. Everything has been prepared - all I’m missing is a little bit of courage from you!

Gavin: All right, give me your hand.

Gavin: I have a lot of courage,

Gavin: And I can give it all to you, the one stepping into the battlefield tomorrow.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Although I’ve looked through all the examinable points, I still feel unsure and uneasy...

Gavin: Don’t be anxious. Since you’re done with revision, rest early

Gavin: Tomorrow, I’ll send you to the examination venue.

3. Mood: Angry

MC: It’s too difficult, it’s way too difficult. I really shouldn’t have registered for this class. I still can’t memorise anything when it’s almost the exam...

Gavin: I’ll bring you out for a ride in a while

Gavin: You can share all your grievances and stress with the wind.

[ SCHOOL - Topic 4: Post-exam celebration]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: My exam is over! I’ve been freed! And my results were much better than expected!

Gavin: You know your results immediately?

Gavin: Congratulations

Gavin: I’m outside the exam venue. Sparky and I are waiting for you.

2. Mood: Upset

MC: A weight has been lifted off my shoulders since the exam is over. Even though I planned so many celebratory activities, I don’t feel like doing them now...

Gavin: If you don’t have any ideas

Gavin: Leave the planning to me.

Gavin: Wait for me at the entrance of the examination venue. I’ll be there soon.

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I’m so angry! I shouldn’t have compared answers with other people! I feel unwell after doing that...

Gavin: Did you get many answers wrong?

Gavin: Since the examination is already over

Gavin: You could alleviate your anger and hunger with me.

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc gavin #just gavin being prime husband material

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readyplayerhobi · 5 years ago

Text

Flower | 27

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Angst, slight fluff

; Word Count: 4k

; Warnings: Not really an argument but close to it, depictions of anxiety and stress

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: This is one of the more angsty ones, not as bad as before, I swear! I hope you don’t think too harshly of the MC, she’s trying :( the next one is super fluffy...as it’s their anniversary! :D so fear not. As usual, please reblog if you enjoyed it so others can read it and leave me comments, feedback and asks! Thank you!

; Flower Masterpost

Straightening up from the bent-over position you’d been in for the last five minutes, you wince at the pain in your back and rub at it with a slight pout to your lips. You don’t remember if moving into your apartment had been this stressful or tiring, but then your place had been much smaller and you’d had less stuff.

Even with the help of Jimin and Jungkook, it had taken Hoseok and you three days to get everything out of both your old apartments and into your new place. The two of you had started looking for somewhere soon after agreeing to the idea and it had been pure luck to find your new home.

The two-bedroom house that you were both renting was only half an hour away from your parents. It was bigger than you’d originally anticipated but small enough to make it perfect for a couple. There was a backyard that was currently a little overgrown but offered a surprising amount of space while the driveway had space for both your cars.

The interiors needed a little rework initially but the landlord had promised to have everything repainted and fixed for you both, which they had thankfully. You also had permission to put up decorations on the walls and treat this place like your own home, as long as it all went back to looking neutral at the end.

There had been no reason for either of you to turn it down, especially as the rent was low and the utilities more than affordable. Okay, so you both would need to drive a little further to get to work every day. But both of you were making up for it with the reduction in what you would be paying now compared to before, so you’d eagerly signed the lease agreement as soon as possible.

Which was how you were now here, kneeling on the floor of your new living room as you let out a deep sigh of resignation. Even though you’d been the one to ask Hoseok to move in together, which had surprised pretty much everyone you both knew, it had unsurprisingly been you who’d ended up having issues about the whole thing.

The issues were nothing to do with him or even the idea of living with him. Instead, they were everything to do with the fact that you hated, and struggled to cope with, change of any kind. There probably wasn’t a bigger change out there than uprooting your entire life to a new house and then sharing that house with someone else, a person whom you were romantically involved with.

Suddenly, any decisions you made regarding your home would need to include Hoseok in them. You wouldn’t be able to change things on the fly like you were used to, nor would you be able to be by yourself at home when you were feeling overwhelmed. It sounded silly when you thought about it logically, or said it out loud, but you’d found yourself struggling over it all.

You’d thought you were ready for it all. After all, you’d been the one to ask him the big question. Only you’d had more than a few meltdowns in the process of packing up your apartment. It made you cringe to think back on them, embarrassment and shame flooding you as you recall the way you’d handled it all.

If there was one thing you’d learnt over the years, it was that you didn’t handle things well in all honesty. Which was why you bottled it all up until it got too much. The results of those explosions got you even more upset, producing a never-ending cycle. Which was why you would often get set off by the smallest, most unimportant thing.

Only last week you’d slipped into, what could only politely be termed, a temper tantrum. A big, fat, adult tantrum. You’d been in the process of breaking down one of the bookcases in your old living room, unscrewing everything carefully after you’d packed away the contents.

The combination of tiredness from all the packing, the stress of moving and changing over debits, the strain of all the lifting, the fact you were doing all this after a full day of work and how your body ached from all the lifting and dismantling had accumulated after you’d accidentally dropped one of the wood sections onto your foot. Almost immediately you’d yelped out in pain before cursing loudly, frustrated tears seeping as you’d visibly trembled in rage at the stupid bookcase.

It had taken half an hour locked inside your bedroom until you’d finally calmed down enough to go back out and carry on. Thankfully, Hoseok hadn’t been there to witness that moment.

Your boyfriend was far more than you deserved as he hadn’t complained about your slowly souring mood. If you were being honest with yourself, he’d probably seen it coming. He had been the one to make completely sure that you were okay with the idea and had tried to make things go as slowly as possible so you didn’t freak out too much. But you were still struggling with it all.

Your antidepressants were working fine and you were thankful that you hadn’t fallen into a slump, but you just felt like you couldn’t think properly. Nothing was in its right place and everything was just...wrong at the moment. Then there was the fact that you were going to have Hoseok’s stuff here too and you’d both bickered about whether or not to set up the second bedroom as a spare bedroom or an office.

He was truly a saint, you were positive, because despite how grumpy you had slowly become he had taken it all on the chin with a patient smile. You, however, just wanted to go to sleep and for everything to be ready to use in the morning.

It frustrated you to look around the house and see everything that still needed to be built and put away. If you stared too long then you often ended up feeling the heat build in your eyes, tears threatening as exhaustion buffeted you. But that wasn’t how it went, and so you had been unpacking box after box only to find it was more stuff that needed to go in the storage unit that Hoseok was going to build.

Or rather, should have built. He’d promised a few hours ago that he’d get it all set up for you so that you could at least get these boxes out of the way. This unit was going to store all the books, board games and Hoseok’s vinyl records. Instead, they were all still in the boxes and you were glaring at the box that held the storage unit. Still not made.

“Hoseok!” You yell, the tone of your voice a little harsher than you’d intended it. He wasn’t used to hearing you get angry or annoyed but he’d certainly gotten used to it in the last two weeks. Being the good person he was though, he hadn’t snapped back at you. Yet.

“Yeah?” Comes his muffled response and you hear the quiet, low voices of the other two men from the main bedroom. They’d been putting together the bedroom furniture all day while you’d unpacked the kitchen, carefully storing the fragile dishes and glasses before finding homes for the food that you’d run to the store for.

“I thought you said you were going to build this unit?” Even as the words come out of your mouth, you can tell that you’re being unreasonable. He’d spent all day sweating and swearing as he’d set up bedside cabinets, drawers and even the bed. The two of you had decided to invest in all new furniture given you both had rather dated furniture that didn’t match at all.

Unnecessary? Yes, but you’d just wanted to have a nice home that looked right. Yet again, more unreasonable demands from you and more expense. But he hadn’t complained about any of it, instead just going shopping with you and getting it all. Maybe he thought there was no point in complaining or something, but you had the furniture you’d wanted in the end.

And you weren’t being a mean person. You had offered to help them build it all but they’d waved it off with the eagerness of men wanting to be manly and build things. Plus, you were pretty convinced that Hoseok knew how frustrated you’d become just dismantling furniture and didn’t want to risk you getting even angrier if something went wrong while building.

After repeated offers to help them being rebuffed, you’d finally just shrugged and settled yourself for putting away everything that you could. You liked doing that much better really as it gave you a sense of peace and satisfaction to see things in the places you wanted them and looking tidy.

Maybe that was why Hoseok had suggested you do that. He’d been amused the first time he’d seen your food pantry all in neat lines for ease of storage and access but had slowly learnt that you liked everything to have a place and always be in it.

As it was, the kitchen was pretty much completed and so was the ensuite bathroom and the guest bathroom. The living room had Hoseok’s couch and your coffee table while there were a dining table and chairs towards the back. Perfect for both eating and gaming, of course.

But there was no storage in here because...well because Hoseok hadn’t built it!

“Sorry, I’ve been busy here. We’ve just got to finish up with these drawers-” Huffing, you scowl at the unopened box before looking over all the other boxes that haven’t even been touched as his excuses wash over you. The rational part of you knows that they’re valid excuses and you even want to tell him it’s fine, the living room can wait until tomorrow.

The dark cloud of annoyance, stress, anxiety and tiredness has settled fully over your mind though and you grit your teeth as tears form in your eyes. Why did you always have to cry when you were angry? It was pathetic.

“It’s fine. Whatever.” There’s a terse silence that follows your short words and you can practically hear Jimin and Jungkook cringing at the tension that’s suddenly ratcheted up. Pursing your lips, you wipe at your eyes furiously before closing the box back up and pushing at it harshly.

“I’ll build it now for you.” Hoseok’s voice is much closer and you look up, noting his carefully neutral expression on his tired face. Almost immediately you feel remorse for being short with him but the words get stuck in your throat. His hands are a little dirty from the dust of the furniture he’s been building and you note they’re also a little red, probably sore from using the screwdrivers and stuff.

You go to look for some of your hand cream to rub into them for him before realising that you have no idea where it is and the negativity comes rushing back. The box that he’s carrying clinks quietly and you know it’s got all the tools he needs in it to build the unit.

“I said it’s fine. We can do it tomorrow.” Looking away from him, you rub at your forehead from the headache you’ve got while rolling your shoulders, trying to stretch the aches and pains away. There’s a deep sigh from Hoseok that sounds incredibly controlled and you wince slightly, realising that he’s holding his temper back.

“It’s okay, it’s a quick build. It’ll take half an hour or something and then it’ll be done. Better to get it done now and then we get some of these boxes gone, right?” Closing your eyes, you bite your lip hard as you try to settle yourself. When you’re in one of these moods, you normally just take yourself off somewhere to be alone so you can’t be rude or mean.

But there is nowhere to take yourself to here. Nowhere that’s ready, anyway.

Pressing your hands to your eyes, you feel the hysterical urge to just cry and scream. The knowledge that all your safe spaces have vanished for the moment and you have nowhere to go to be calm tipping you further. Even Kasumi is stuck just sleeping on the floor as her stuff is also packed away, waiting to be rebuilt.

You just want it all done so that you can settle back down and allow yourself time to get used to the new environment you live in. Let it all become familiar and warm once more, a home that you can retreat to and feel comfortable in. Right now, it resembles more of an IKEA and you hate it.

“Baby-” Hoseok starts and you shake your head furiously, wiping hard at your eyes before pushing the box of books as hard as you can in front of you. It’s a futile way to get out some of your anger and stress, but it feels good. Better than saying something that might hurt the one person who’s understood you more than anyone in years.

“Leave me alone. Please. Go build the bed or whatever. It’s fine. Tomorrow. I just, I need you to-” You’re not even sure what you’re saying anymore and you feel the anxiety of it all building up. Leaving your old apartment was so much harder than you’d expected and you’d struggled with the idea of knowing you no longer had anywhere to truly be alone. If you got mad at Hoseok in the future, he’d still be in the house somewhere.

You’d spent so many years making your place somewhere that was comfortable and familiar to you, a home that you enjoyed being in and now it was all gone. Now you have to relearn how to make this space comfortable and learn entirely new ways of how to cope with your moods and behaviour with another person.

The quiet sound of the door shutting clues you into the fact that Jimin and Jungkook have left. Unsurprising really, because you sure wouldn’t want to hang around to hear a domestic argument. Particularly given one of those involved is perhaps the quietest person they’ve ever known.

Standing, you pick up one of the boxes that are filled with your board games and move it to the other side of the living room, providing plenty of space to build furniture tomorrow. Going back, you don’t look at Hoseok and you’re not entirely sure why. Maybe you’ll explode on him or maybe you’ll burst into tears. Who knows?

You don’t, which is why you clench your jaw.

There’s an awkward silence between you both as Hoseok doesn’t move, simply watches as you rearrange the boxes in the living room. It makes absolutely no difference now that they’re on the other side of the room but you feel a small sense of relief and peace when they’re all lined up neatly in one area, stacked on top of each other carefully.

The floor is visible once more and you frown at the sight of all the dust covering it. You should vacuum that, only you don’t think you have a vacuum anymore. That may have been one of the things Hoseok said to throw out as yours was ancient and he didn’t even have one.

Scowling at it, you go to the kitchen to grab some cleaning spray and a cloth to at least get the coffee table looking nice. There was no reason for it as it was just going to get dirty again immediately from all the furniture dust but you just needed to make it look clean for now.

“I’m not gonna fight you, Y/N. Please tell me what’s wrong?” Hoseok says quietly, his voice carefully neutral and you pause at the kitchen cabinet, fingers on the door handle. “Please. I don’t want to argue with you when I know you’re not mad at me.”

He sounds so reasonable and calm that you don’t snap at him immediately, instead frowning down at the countertop and rubbing at a mark on it. For a few minutes, you don’t respond and he doesn’t push either. You’re not entirely sure what nation you saved in a previous life to get him, but it must have been a big one.

There’s plenty of other men who would have had a full-scale argument with you by now. The kind of argument that would have let you in tears while you struggled to breath from the anxiety of it all. But t Hoseok knew you. After almost a year together, he knew what upset you and made you angry. Most of all, he knew that you didn’t respond well to conflict. Which was he was just waiting for you to talk to him instead of shouting at you.

Maybe the knowledge that he wasn’t going to snipe at you or be mean was the final straw. All you know though, is that his soft and reassuring words seem to cause something inside of you to crack and all the stress that’s been building up inside your mind finally bursts free.

Lips quivering, you frown hard as you wonder how you’re meant to get across what you’re feeling and thinking. You don’t even really know yourself, so trying to describe it to the one person who you want to understand the most is even harder. Made more so by the fear he might find your excuses pitiful.

“I don’t...it’s just,” Your throat closes tightly as thick tears slowly start to fall. “It’s a lot. Everything’s a lot right now and I just...I can’t handle it. I don’t know how to. I mean...I don’t feel comfortable here yet and it’s making me so anxious and unhappy. And then everything is in these fucking boxes and nothings built properly, we don’t even have the television set up and it’s just...I’m just struggling. I’m trying Hobi, I’m trying.”

You whisper the last words, wiping at your eyes and nose as you try your hardest not to completely break down. If there’s one thing you hate the most in the world, it’s probably crying. It makes you feel pathetic, and when you’re struggling with something as simple as moving places it makes you even more so.

“I just...nothing’s where I like it and I don’t know where everything is. It all feels foreign to me and even Kasumi doesn’t have her stuff! I don’t even know what I’m saying, it’s not even that bad but...but...I just want it all finished so I can start getting used to it! Start thinking of it all as a home and getting used to a routine here! And I’ve had to change all my routines around now because it takes longer to get to work so I have to get up earlier which means I have to go to bed earlier and find out the traffic and-” You’re interrupted by Hoseok wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you tightly.

For a few seconds, you do nothing until the warmth of his embrace causes you to turn around and link your arms around his waist too. Inhaling deeply, you take in his scent and start to cry once more as everything all comes to a head in your mind, all the ramblings thoughts and stressors and worries you’ve had flooding out as you ramble on to him.

Finally, though, you run out of things to tell him about why you’re so upset about seemingly nothing and instead just hold onto him silently. Your tears are soaking his shirt and you feel a little embarrassed at your minor meltdown but most of all, you just feel safe in his arms. Like no matter what you say or how silly it sounds, he won’t judge you.

In the chaos of your mind and surroundings right now, he was stable and familiar. Comforting.

“Why didn’t you argue with me? I could practically hear you restraining yourself. I was being so stupid and mean for no reason.” You whisper after a while, lips brushing against his shirt with every word. His chest shakes as he chuckles, a hand stroking along your back reassuringly.

“Oh, I almost did. Today was the closest I’ve ever come to snapping back at you. There’s every chance I might’ve done if you’d been someone else. But I know you. And even though you haven’t confided it to me...I know you’ve been putting a brave face on with this whole moving thing. We’ve been together for almost a year, sweetheart. I know what makes you upset and I’ve learnt that change is one of them. And this? Is a big change. I’m stressed over it all so I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling.” The tears return to sting at your eyes, pricking at them hotly and you sniff almost pathetically at his sweet, soothing words.

“I’m sorry. I just…” He cuts you off once more with a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“It’s okay, honestly. I’m just happy you’ve finally told me. I’d pretty much figured all of this out and I knew you weren’t coping too well. But you weren’t talking to me and I didn’t want to push it if you didn’t feel comfortable. But baby, please, in the future just talk to me. I don’t want us to get into another situation like today where we’re on the verge of an unnecessary argument over something as stupid as a storage unit.” He’s rubbing his hands along your arms in a warming gesture, giving you a soft smile that has the tears banking once more.

“I’m sorry. I just...I always feel so stupid. It’s not even anything that bad and I’m here acting like a baby over it all.” Your words are a little thick from how tight your throat is and Hoseok sighs once more, only this time a little more affectionately. The small smile he gives you cuts through your wallowing self-pity.

“You’re not being a baby. If you’re upset over it, then you’re upset over it. I don’t want you getting stressed or anxious over anything but I’ll take having your routine changed and the places where you feel safe and comfortable changing over you getting pissed at me just because I hadn’t built something on time. Those are real reasons to get upset, emotions that are a part of you and I’ll try my hardest to never be angry at you for feeling them. I can’t guarantee it’ll always work because Lord knows I’d almost reached my point today but I will try. Because I know you don’t mean it. You’re the least angry and mean person I’ve ever met, to be honest.” A kiss to your forehead once more seals his words and you sniff, wiping at your face again.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. Or upset you. I’m sorry. This is just, really big. And I’m scared too. Because if something goes wrong between us then this,” You gesture round to the house in general. “Makes it harder for us to go our separate ways. That frightens me.”

“Hey, it frightens me too. But you know what’s good about that? I have zero plans of leaving you anytime and I’m pretty sure you have zero plans too. Right?” A head tilt from him adds to his questioning tone and you can’t help the soft smile as you nod. Enveloping you in a tight hug once more, Hoseok does his best to reassure you before pulling away slowly.

“Okay, we finished all the bedroom off so...how about we just get the bedding sorted, order takeout and then just watch something on my laptop? No more negativity and no more work today, okay? Let’s just cuddle up and relax.” Looking out over the living room that you can see over the island in the kitchen, you twist your lips at the sight of everything still packed away before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

“Yeah. That sounds good.”

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obaby-me · 5 years ago

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Late Night Comforts

Hugs can solve most problems. And even when they can’t, they’re always a good place to start.

Author’s Note: Raffle prize for @rikersone! Per your request, one late night comfort cuddle with Beelzebub!

It’s that time of the night. Even when he eats as hefty a meal to feed three of his brothers just before bed, he still wakes up at the sounds of his own stomach growling threateningly at him, and the pains of the unreasonable hunger. Groggy, he sits up from his bed, looking on in envy at his twin who sleeps a full night without any disturbances.

With a small sigh he begins his walk through the halls, trying to keep his steps light but quick, so as not to awaken any of his other brothers who don’t happen to sleep as deep as the Avatar of Sloth. Or worse, you. His stomach could sound quite beastly and in the large echoing halls during the dead of night, he’s sure it would startle if not downright frighten you.

The thought of you scared of him hurt his heart. He still regrets that his first impression to you was his implying that he would eat you sooner than protect you.

The light is on in the kitchen, which he finds unusual. He was the last to leave and he was sure he turned the light off. He remembers he had to wipe ketchup off the switch he accidentally left when flicking it off.

Given the time of night, if he had to take a guess, it was Mammon. He was always up at ridiculous hours of the night. Where Beel was predictable in his evening adventures, Mammon was not. The second-born could be up to any number of things—including taking Beel’s meals.

Cautiously he enters the rooms, eyes narrowed and looking for his sneaky elder brother. Instead he finds you, with snacks strewn across the counter as you nibble away at a cookie, perusing your D.D.D. You look exhausted, miserable, really. Dark circles, and thick curls every which way as if you had been rolling about in your bed tell him sleep has not been restful for you.

“You hungry too?” He asks as he enters and begins to pull out an array of his own snacks to munch on.

“Something like that,” you mutter, putting your phone down to give him a tired smile.

Looking at you curiously, he sits down across from you, a jar of cookies stuffed full now in his arms for him to eat through. “You aren’t hungry?”

“Only a little.” You tell him with an embarrassed chuckle as you try to pick up wrappers and pile them away.

“Did you wake up because you were hungry?” He asks curiously, popping two cookies into his mouth with ease. “I do that all the time.”

“Not really,” you say into a mug of what he can smell is hot chocolate. “I never fell asleep.”

“Are you cold?” He gives a nod to your choice of drink.

“Huh?”

“The hot chocolate. If you’re cold—"

“Oh, no! That’s not it,” you laugh. “It’s just my comfort food.”

“Comfort food? Is something wrong?” He asks, pausing in his devouring of the cookie jar.

“No. Not really.” You murmur. Beel can see the obvious deflection, so he waits, staring intently, and you fidget in place until you give in.

“It’s not like one thing that’s bothering me,” you admit, “it’s a lot of things. But like little things. Little things that just happened to pile up. And when I get stressed or overwhelmed, I—well, I like to, uhm, eat.”

His brows furrow with concern. “What little things?”

“I don’t really feel like talking about it,” you whisper quietly. “Not right now anyway. Actually, I want to not even think about it. I’d rather just do a little stress eating.”

The way you shuffle your arms right against your body, your hands gripping your mug tight, paints a lonely picture.

Suddenly the hunger to devour the second half of the cookie jar takes a backseat to the new urge to hold you. He stands from his seat and walks around to your side to slip his arms around your small form. He has to bend a little to do so, and so he rests his head gently on your head, your curls feeling like the loveliest pillow.

“B-Beel?” You’re flustering in his hold, and he can see the red that paints the tip of your ears. It’s cute.

“You looked alone,” is really the only way he knew how to describe it. It seems to at least have been a satisfactory answer given that you leaned back into him, and let out a content sigh.

He holds you for a while, as long as you’ll let him, until you yawn move gently against his hold. “I think I might be able to fall asleep now. Thank you, Beel.”

He doesn’t want to let go, he realizes, and unconsciously his grip tightens.

“Beel?”

Embarrassingly, he’s not sure how to explain himself. “Sorry,” is all he can mutter as he lets go of you guiltily.

“Actually, would you like to—” You swallow nervously, pausing as if debating your next words very carefully, “stay in my room?”

It’s not like the two of you haven’t shared a room before. Or even slept in the same bed before. Holding hands, no less. Yet his heart beat quickens and he feels a little light. Airy, like he’s dreaming.

You tense in his hands momentarily given his silence. “Uhm, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” You attempt to backtrack.

“I want to.” Really, really want to. “I’ll go get some blankets and a pillow—” he offers, as he pulls away.

“I’d rather that you stay in the bed,” you squeak abruptly.

“It’s your room. I won’t let you take the floor,” Beel states firmly. Lucifer raises a gentleman.

“No, I mean, with me. In the bed. Together.” Your eyes can no longer meet his, a tint of red painting your cheeks.

“O-oh,” Beel breathes, catching on. “Yes, okay.” Leading you back to your room, when he feels the back of your hand tap against his and your fingers reach. Eagerly he slips his fingers in with yours and flashes you a blushing grin. Your smile in return is adorably flush as well.

As quietly as he can, he points out where to step so the floorboards don’t creak beneath your feet, as to not wake the eldest brother. The man had a sense of hearing for anything remotely inappropriate—especially when it came to you.

Your shoulders are shaking, holding in giggles as you play this game of essentially lava with him to his bed, where he crawls in slowly and lifts the covers to invite you in. You lay down beside him and much to his surprise, you cuddle right up against him, draping and arm around his waist. This is more intimate than he thought you had in mind, but he’s delighted. There was only one minor drawback.

Can you hear his heart thudding in his chest?

Gently he lays his own arm around you, and hold you to him. You fit perfectly against him, he thinks to himself. Like you were meant to be here.

He waits until you’re breathing deeply, when he decides to indulge just a little. Gently he leans down just enough to give you a small kiss just in your hair, a confession without words that you’d never hear.

Suddenly you shifted, and Beel went rigid. Were you awake? He was sure you’d been sleeping!

“Beel?” You whisper up at him.

“Yeah?” He’s holding his breath.

You don’t seem to have words to say as you stare up at him. It’s dark but he can feel the heat radiating off you. Or that could just be his own heat that’s heating you up in return. He feels like he’s sweating bullets. Please don’t start sweating, Beel, he begs of his body. Don’t get wet and gross while you’re holding on to her.

But his nerves feel like fire as the silence magnifies his embarrassment.

“Sorry.” He mutters at the same time as you do, a muffled request into his chest.

“W-what?” He asks.

“N-nevermind then,” you say a little louder, hands gently pushing away. You were as flustered as he was by the sound of it—that’s a good sign at least.

His arms unclasp just slightly to give you the leeway you ask for. “I didn’t hear you.” He admits, wanting you to repeat, a little hope that he’s not misreading your shy voice and nervous squirming.

“Will you do it again?” You whisper, tilting your head up to him.

A smile spreads across his face—he’s more than happy to oblige. Due to the way your head is angle, he no longer kisses the top of your head, but instead the soft skin of your forehead, where beneath his lips he feels the furrowed tension. You’d been pouting, and he can’t help but chuckle, pleased in so many ways right now.

You lean back into his arms, and he tightens his grip just slightly to keep you against him, as he presses another kiss into your forehead, happy to find that you had relaxed.

“Thank you, Beel,” you sigh happily against him.

He hums as he gives you another kiss to the forehead. “Any time.” And he means it. If you would call on him for a hug, a kiss, to hold your hand—he’d jump, sprint, fly at the opportunity to.

He feels your lips press into his shoulder, and he jolts, adjusting to peer down at you. His heart is surely leaping from his chest. You’re staring up at him, waiting for his reaction, but when he gives none, you give him another kiss, and nudge your head upwards just a little towards his chin.

“Wil you do it again?”

You want him to give you another kiss in return, he realizes. He needs a minute to have his spirit return to his body. You nudge him again, looking a little forlorn. You’re too cute.

Grinning, he places his lips once again on your forehead, and you kiss his shoulder once again. Just a gentle peck, sweet and sleepy as you lay against his chest. For every kiss he gives, you give a kiss back. The placement of your kisses is just lazy placement on your part. It’s just the closest bit of him for you to kiss without much movement as you comfortably drift to sleep, just as your forehead is for him. His heart rate comes down from orbit, the more kisses he receives, growing comfortable with the soft affection.

Between yawns and giggles in the silly rhythm of peppering each other, one after the other, like a little game. Slowly exhaustion overtakes you and drifts you off to sea of sleep, leaving Beel with his thoughts, as he listens to you sleep.

It’s perfect here in your bed, surrounded in the scent of you, with you wrapped around him. He’s more at ease than he has been in long time.

He’s not hungry, he realizes suddenly. He ate half a jar which nowhere near enough to satisfy him generally, but his stomach hasn’t growled or aches even once since. He might just get a full night’s rest for once—instead of waking up every few hours to snack.

He hopes you’ll invite him again soon.

#obey me #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub x reader #fic #art #i always write beel as a super stoic guy with not much to say #but in the game he talks a lot more than give him credit for #mostly when he talks it’s about important explanations though #he doesn’t speak to tease his brothers generally #he’s just a nice little giant brother

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mimssides · 4 years ago

Text

Never Met You

Chapter 5: Defence

To protect those who they love is an act of strength and kindness. To protect they need rest themselves. They shall rest.

It was late and the palace was asleep. The rose maze was peacefully quiet and the moonlight bathed the world in a silver shimmer. It was beautiful.

And lonely.

Roman could not help himself. He had known Janus for so many years who loved and adored him. He had Virgil by his side who kept him sane and safe. He had Logan who had put up with all the unreasonable decision he had ever made.

And yet, as Roman sat down in the middle of the maze beneath the rose arch on the bench, he felt void. He had for all his life felt a certain longing for something that was not there. It had become worse in the last few weeks, especially since Janus had been mostly preoccupied with meetings and aiding Logan with his duties. He knew something was off and he was glad when they finally approached him and asked if he could go to Sictes to get some allies.

He would get going tomorrow, and while he didn’t like to leave Janus back, he knew it was the most reasonable thing he could do right now. It also was easier for him to not be in the castle. It made the void hurt less in a way.

Stillness.

Roman’s heart began to race. He jumped on his feet, feeling the tip of cold metal barely scratching the middle of his back. Twirling around, drawing his sword, which was sharp despite Janus’s protests, and facing a figure in black, face hidden behind a black mask.

An ambush.

The ambusher stormed at him but Roman dodged and evaluated his situation quickly. There were more people coming, he could hear the scurrying around now that he was listening for it. His chances could be worse. He knew the maze like no other, better than the gardeners even, and they were not aware that he was able to hold himself in a fight.

Dodging. Duck. Go for the legs and shove to the bushes. One distracted, a second and third one came from the opening to his left and one had jumped over the bushes in front of him. They were trying to corner him.

They would not succeed, Roman decided. With a grunt he manoeuvred himself towards the one on the left, went for his wrist and made him drop his sword. Next, he focused on the one in the front and-

He barely managed to pull away as the first ambusher grabbed him by the arm. Roman panted. No, he wasn’t exhausted yet. But they have been cornering him and he did not know how to get out of this situation anymore.

He couldn’t go like this. He couldn’t lose like this.

“HeeEEllooOOO!”

The squeaky maddening scream had the ambushers turn around. Roman used his chance and fled to the side as someone barrelled into the one in the middle and threw them right into the thorns. Without thinking Roman turned to the closest ambusher and began to duel them.

In the corner of his eyes, he saw the third one approach him from behind, calculating already how he could fight that one off.

“I’ve got your back! Worry about what’s in front of you, Romy!”

There was something in Roman’s chest. It was warm and loud and wild. It made him grin and go for his attacker, made him move quick and nimble, made him light as a feather and made it almost playfully easy for him to fight them off, as he cut them into their right shoulder.

They whistled. At once the two others moved away. Roman was about to follow them, but he stopped as a hand was put on his right shoulder and held him back. And just then the three ambushers were gone in the shadows.

The night was quiet again. As if nothing had happened. Roman could be dead now and no one would know until the gardeners would find him. Janus and Virgil would not find him, would only see the dried blood beneath his form, his lifeless corpse rotting amongst the grass and thorns.

“It is okay. We are okay, Roman. Breathe. Slow and steady. Slow and steady does it.”

In front of Roman was Green, standing in the faint moonlight. He had stepped in front of him, had put his other hand on his left shoulder and was asking him to calm down. And Roman did calm down. He had to. He had to quiet down and get out of the maze. They were still out in the open and needed to get away.

But first he had to focus on calming down. It would be fine. Never in his life Roman had found himself calming down so quickly but he was not going to question it and nodded at Green who waited for him to give him the green light to proceed. The two hastily went back to the castle.

When they were barely in sight of the guards, Green already called for them. Ordered them to immediately search the castle walls, the gates and passage ways to the door. No one was to go alone and they needed to search the rose maze this instance. They were about to dismiss his orders when they spotted Roman behind him. They froze on the spot and Roman told them to follow his orders.

The castle awoke. Roman and Green went inside, immediately heading towards the backroom in the servant wing. Roman had never told Green that they should go there but Green found the way nevertheless. On their way Roman requested the guards to wake the king and tell Janus and Virgil to “retreat”. They would know where to look for them.

Meanwhile, Roman and Green slipped by the guards and servants eyes, along the shadows and hallways rarely someone used. Roman knew them by heart. He had explored them when he was younger and studied every corner after the day it had happened. He needed to know where he could hide in a dangerous situation and after all those years the fear and terror had kept him from forgetting a single detail.

The backroom was in the last corner of the castle, a dead end where no one went when they were trying to escape or hide themselves in. And still, Roman had chosen this room to be his safe haven. There was security in an unlikely hiding spot and he sat down on a wooden chair as Green positioned himself next to the door. He was looking over to him and scanning the room all while listening at the door for whoever was to come in. They were quiet and waited.

Roman wasn’t quite sure when it happened but after some time, he had begun to analyse the intruders’ behaviour. He thought about how they entered the premises, how they fought and how they had focused on him. The conclusion he got to did not sit well with him and he was glad when he could change his focus on the door as he heard someone approach from the outside.

He knew the steps and before he could say it Green opened the door and let in Janus followed by Logan and Virgil. The king had still a rather sleepy look in his eyes and was wearing a nightgown but tensed immediately as he saw Roman sitting on the chest. Worriedly, he looked over to Green, hands pressed over his chest and motioned Virgil to close the door.

“There was an ambush.”

The terror on Janus’s face was indescribable. Without thinking he rushed over to Roman’s side, kneeled down in front of him and cupped his face between his hands.

“How? When? Why were you not in your room?”

Virgil’s voice was booming despite his low volume. Roman straightened up and softly pushed Janus’s hands out of his face. He then pulled Janus to sit next to him, while putting his arm around his shoulders.

“I could not sleep,” Roman explained and observed with one eye, how Green led Logan to sit on another box as the king trembled under the stressful revelation. “I did not mean to alarm you and went outside to catch some fresh air. They came for me in the rose maze. Green came and fought them off. It cannot be longer than half an hour ago.”

“You are not allowed to simply leave your room without informing us! Not in times like these!” Virgil hissed towards the prince.

“I can be killed in my own room just as easily as in this rose maze, Virgil. It makes no difference, if they want, they will find me anywhere.”

Virgil’s face froze and Janus gripped Roman’s arm, exclaiming loudly: “Roman!”

“This changes nothing. I will go tomorrow. We need the backup. Now more than ever.”

“You are most certainly not leaving! We haven’t even found out who did this yet! It might as well be someone from Sictes who allied with George to find you! I will not send you into your death.”

Janus had tears in his eyes as he begged for Roman to stay. He begged for his friend to be reasonable and approachable, to not fall back into habits that could have him hurt or even killed. And Roman just looked at him with those determined eyes and this heavy look. This look that made it clear that he would not just stop.

“This was not someone from Sictes,” Green broke through the moment and all eyes landed on him. “It was an Raganian blade these attackers wielded. But it was not someone sent by King George directly, otherwise they would not have tried to kill him.”

“Wha-” Janus stuttered but Green continued.

“It is smarter to take the prince hostage, instead of killing him. It would force us to act quietly and would keep the other kingdoms from interfering out of concern for Roman’s wellbeing, while killing Roman would lead to a guaranteed uproar in Sictes as well as in Kainen. And while King George is proud and overconfident, he is far from stupid. This is not a risk he would take.”

Another pause. Logan sighed and buried his head in his hands. He went mentally through what he had heard Green and Roman tell them just now and tried to puzzle the picture together. The timing was eery, he had to consider if there was a mole among their midst. Even so, it could have been a coincidence. What was not a coincidence though were the attempt on Roman which could have also caused his own fall, since he only was holding this position because of Roman’s order.

“So, it most likely was an operation contrived by someone in George’s court who went behind his back?” Logan concluded and glimpsed up to Green who nodded.

“Yes, that is it most likely. The way these people moved hints towards special training for a secret force, and their weaponry and clothing were perfectly tailored for each of them, which hints to a benefactor of high standing who could pay and arrange those things to be given to them secretly. They knew what they were doing and probably had scouted the area. Still, that they found Roman in the maze could mean that-”

Roman continued Green’s sentence as if they had coordinated it: “-they found me through magic. Yes, I came to that conclusion as well. They should not have known that I was not in my room. I haven’t been outside in the maze for the entirety of my stay. They should have looked in my room first, but they haven’t been there, as otherwise Virgil would have caught them.”

Silence stretched over the five men in the room for a moment. Outside, far away in the halls, the guards were bustling around, servants running and following the instructions Green and Roman had given them a few minutes prior.

“Why were you outside?”

Logan’s voice was not sharp but still cut through the silence like a hot knife through butter. Green, who the question had been posed to, opened his mouth but was promptly cut off by Janus adding: “We need the truth here. Only the truth will let you leave this room alive right now.”

Roman froze. No, how- Green was not the traitor! He knew he wasn’t! Janus was wrong to assume that Green was a mole just because he was out in the night without reason. Because he somehow had the perfect timing in rescuing him. Because he somehow had known that the swords were Raganian and their fighting style one of a secret force.

Oh, no.

Then Green dropped on his knees before the king. There was a look of deep devotion, certainty and the uncharacteristic hint of shame in his face. Roman watched Green’s hand twitch as he lifted it towards Logan’s knee but stopped and put them onto his own thighs.

And Green spoke: “I am aware that my knowledge of the situation and the details surrounding it are suspicious. If you need me gone, I will be happy to rot in your prisons or decapitated on your demand, Your Majesty. Because I know the reason, I have to give you will not be able to cease your worries, but I shall give it to you nevertheless.”

He took one last breath as he bowed his head and resumed his answer.

“I – I am plagued by nightmares, have been for many, many years. They are senseless and violent and bloody. Cruel with no rhyme or reason to it. I am quite used to the imagery but once in a while they get especially troubling and I found myself having such dreams far too often lately. I try to get to bed late because of this, but tonight I forgot the time and wandered to the gardens. They were quite beautiful in the moonlight and it was then that I heard the ambush. I know this is not a sufficient answer but it is the answer I-”

“I believe you,” Logan spoke the words which Roman thought.

Roman watched with a smile as Logan tapped Green under the chin and the guard looked up with big disbelieving eyes. For the first time since Roman had come back from his journey Logan did not look like he was as tense as an overstretched spring.

“You do?”

Logan grinned and nodded. He eyed Janus from the corner of his eyes and saw him pressing his lips together in displeasure. The guard had spoken the truth and Janus could confirm it despite the sour taste the whole situation left on his tongue.

“Yes, I do,” Logan confirmed now verbally. “You did not lie, the Royal Advisor could tell so much, and you have yet to make a single mistake in front of me or the others which would lead to me distrusting you. And I have to admit that it is quite a relief for me to learn that I made a good choice by having you by my side.”

***

“I don’t think, I’ll ever get used to this,” █████ said as he looked at the crown in his hands.

He and Roman had met up in Roman’s room after the mourning festivities had ended and all of the castle had quieted down. Now it was only the two of them, █████ leaning against Roman’s side. Roman had put his arm around his shoulder and was staring at the sparkling crown in █████’s hands as well. The faint candle light threw dark shadows and Roman tensed up a little. █████ noticed and pressed himself closer to Roman’s side.

“Neither will I,” Roman said after a few moments and took the crown out of █████’s hands and set it on the night table.

They looked at each other for a moment. Roman opened his mouth to say something but stopped and instead signed “I’m sorry.” Talking was still too much of a task for him, after a whole year of silence. █████ just shook his head and put his arms around Roman’s torso to squish him in a hug.

Minutes passed by and eventually Roman wiggled out of █████’s embrace. Quietly, he got off the bed and motioned for █████ to follow him. He followed and the two went to the bay window, which Roman opened and promptly climbed out off. Perplexed █████ stared at him for a moment before he followed as well and climbed down the ivy vines which grew beneath Roman’s window.

When █████’s feet touched the ground, Roman took his hand and pulled him along in a hurry. █████ let him do so and simply observed the dark surroundings until they ended up in the rose maze.

Months later Roman would finally explain to █████ how he had spent many days out in the gardens and familiarized himself with the gardeners and how they maintained the bushes and the maze. Thus, he knew exactly at which spots he could hide the wooden swords, which he pulled out of the bushes close to the middle of the rose maze. But at this particular instance Roman did not explain █████ what he was doing and simply handed him the wooden sword.

“What is the meaning of this?” █████ asked without taking the sword.

Roman sighed and looked up to the sky. The moon wasn’t out anymore and stars were sparkling up there in the prettiest lights.

Roman licked his lips and looked back down meeting █████’s eyes directly.

“I’m scared that they’ll come for us me.”

█████ stiffened. He heard the unsaid I’m afraid they’ll come for you.

“I want us me to be prepared. They don’t teach us me to fight properly and I want to know how. I want to train. I want us me to be able to survive.”

A moment passed. █████ took a deep breath and then the sword. For a few minutes Roman explained the basic fighting stances he had seen the soldiers and guards practice, until he began to simply show them as talking got too hard for him. They didn’t stay outside for much longer and soon went back through the window.

Many nights like these would follow but that night █████ and Roman did not think of the future any longer, huddled together in Roman’s bed and slept peacefully for the first time in a year.

***

Roman had never been so relieved to hear somebody admitting that they had nightmares. Green’s words had done something in his mind and for a moment, a very small split second, the loneliness in his chest shrunk a little.

“Alright, then. Green’s good but we still aren’t through with you Roman. You will not leave tomorrow,” Virgil said stubbornly.

Roman shot up from his seat and balled his fists.

“You cannot decide this!”

“No, I can’t but I won’t accompany you to your fucking death, Princey! And you know that I am doing you a favour. You are smarter that this!”

“I am not stupid or naïve!” Roman all but shouted towards his friend and tried to get a grip on himself.

Instinctively Roman stepped back, his back touching the wall of the chamber and he watched through the group gathered around him. Janus’s expression was apologizing but stern, he was on Virgil’s side, no doubt. Logan was unreadable but Roman knew that in the end Logan was a strategist and him leaving the castle after what had happened tonight was far too risky. Yes, Roman understood their stances, but the problem was that he was useless except for diplomacy missions. He could not help prepare an army, he could not plan infrastructure or safety plans. The only thing he was, was a pretty face and a charming voice with some good social networking skills. And in the castle that meant nothing.

“Your Royal Highness.”

Roman’s view was blurry but he managed to look at Green who spoke softly: “You are quite brilliant with your words and your charm. And I don’t doubt that you could get through another ambush. But remember that Sictes has no guards like we do. Remember that their walls aren’t as thick as ours and their history hasn’t been filled with assassinations and bloodshed. We shall not bring danger to other kingdoms if we needn’t, Your Royal Highness. We cannot bring the doom to other places just to safe our neck. I know that at heart you are too caring to do something like that.”

It was not the words exactly. Nor was it the phrasing or the intonation. But never in his life had Roman felt his father’s presence shining so much through a person. And with everything that had been happening tonight he felt his hold on himself crumble. Trembling he sat back down on the chest, pressed his hand over his nose and mouth and tried to not cry like a small child because this man somehow reminded him of his father.

Of course, Janus shimmed closer to him and asked what was wrong. Of course, Virgil knelt down next to him and calmingly pressed his hand against his thigh. It took a minute until Roman was calm again, he managed to keep himself from crying and brushed his two worried partners off.

“I see your point. I know it has been a close call and I understand the risks. I just wished I could be of use somehow. Here I can’t do anything,” Roman explained to Green first and then pushed his focus towards Logan.

Logan raised his eyebrows and shook his head. Swiftly he crossed his legs and told Roman: “I can think of a few things you could help me with. Tomorrow we can talk about it in detail but for now I will remind you that your mere presence and smile will let the people hope. They have lost your father and mother, the first to finally bring some sort of peace and prosperity to these lands, and you are the result of their believes and strengths. You are what remains and no matter how good of a king I am, they need to know that their prince is alive and well. They need you alive and so do I. So, thank you for staying here. It will be a great relief.”

Roman nodded and Green and Janus announced that they were now going to check in with the patrols that were sent out to see if it was safe for both king and prince to get back into their sleeping chambers. Virgil would stay with them and keep them safe.

The door fell into its lock as Green and Janus left. Virgil eyed first Roman and then Logan for a few moments. He said nothing as Logan stood up, his legs shakier than usual. He only reacted when he suddenly leaned against the wall to keep himself upright.

“Logan?” Roman asked as Virgil helped Logan regain his balance and led him to the prince.

A little floppy Logan sat down next to him and rubbed his temple.

“Just some light-headedness. Nothing you shall worry about. Now, what had you moved so deeply by Green’s words? I have rarely seen you in such a state and I would like to know what brought it up.”

Roman kneaded his hands and opened his left one. He had thin long fingers, long nailbeds. He was told that they were the hands of his mother. But his complexion and facial structure were his father’s. A memorial to them both.

“I don’t know what it is with him but-” Roman looked up and found the courage to meet Logan’s eyes- “he reminds me of something I can’t quite pin down. And just how he spoke, the way he addressed me, it was as if my father was here for a moment. He just. He really reminded me of him there and while it was painful to remember, it was also unspeakably comforting.”

Logan was not a touchy person in general. So, when he hugged Roman it came a bit as a surprise. What was even more surprising was the fact of how much Roman leaned into the touch. He buried his head in the nape of Logan’s neck and Logan let him do so wordlessly. They parted when Virgil remarked that he could hear Janus and Green come back.

The area had been scouted and a few traces of the intruders had been found close to the eastern wall but otherwise there seemed nothing to go off. Janus had the guards patrol the walls and would initiate a closer look on the kingdom’s borders as soon as the next morning broke. Though for now Logan and Roman could retreat to their rooms, with heightened security of course.

“Thank you very much, Janus. Would you and Virgil accompany me? I wanted to have a word. Green, please bring Roman to his sleeping chamber,” Logan ordered and slowly stood up.

Virgil quirked his up but wordlessly moved up to his side and opened the door for him and Janus. Green followed with Roman and they parted in the hallway to get to their respective wings. Roman looked at the guards standing alongside the walls, the servants bustling around with sleep still in their faces despite the hustle in the castle.

“How late is it even?” Roman mumbled to himself when they finally go to his wing.

Green opened the door to his chamber and said in the same moment: “Half past 1, Your Royal Highness.”

Roman blinked. That was indeed rather late. He gulped and walked towards his room. In the doorframe he stopped and turned around to look at Green. For a moment he mused and then he had made up his mind.

“Would you terribly mind to come inside for a moment? I know your day has been long but I doubt that another few minutes will make that much of a difference.”

Green’s lips twitched but he bowed his head and followed Roman inside. Easily, Roman strode across the room to his little sitting corner and told Green to sit with him. The guard followed and sat silently waiting for Roman to say what he wanted to say.

Roman straightened his pants for a moment and looked over the ruffles and dirt that had been caught on bottom of them. It was rare for him to get this dirty. Not because he didn’t want to but because he was kept from doing so.

“You didn’t tell them that I fought alongside you. Why?”

Green shrugged.

“You said I fought them of, so I assumed you didn’t want them to know that you fought as well. And I had never heard people talking about your sword fighting skills, so what I saw was most likely something you learnt in secret. And while Janus would react delightfully appalled to you hiding this from him, I did not want to be a tattletale. You’ve got your reasons and I respect that, Your Royal Highness.”

Roman listened closely and saw how Green gesticulated during his speech. The movements of his hands were peculiar, not random and agitated but had a method to it. Like the signs he had made up during his year of mourning Roman’s mind added. Green had handled his panic more masterfully than Virgil had after five years of knowing him. He had used nicknames for him, had included himself when he told Roman they were fine.

“Thank you,” Roman settled with instead of voicing any of those observations. “For the secret keeping, the saving and for talking some sense into me. The gods know what would happen if I had kept fighting Virgil and Janus on this. Eventually this would have escalated a lot worse than it did, and I have no intention of hurting these two.”

The look and grin Green had on his faces told Roman that he had known so even if he hadn’t said it. How odd. This stranger being able to just understand him so effortlessly did not worry or bother him nearly as much as it should.

They sat there in silence a little longer. Roman’s head was buzzing, his chest felt heavier but more fulfilled than usual. He again and again eyed this new guard. Thinking about what Janus had told him about Green. About the kid he saved, about things he knew but shouldn’t know about.

Green meanwhile decided that he needed to get Roman to sleep. Calmly, he said to him that they should probably head to bed now and got a silent nod as an answer. He stood and turned away as the prince went to change into his nightclothes and watched as he silently crawled into his bed. He was about to bow and turn away, when a question kept him in place.

“Will you stay?”

Green looked over his shoulder. The faint light of the candle next to his bed illuminated him in a flickering but faint glow. He looked so much smaller and fragile than he should.

“In the room?” Green asked with furrowed brows.

Roman’s voice was quiet as he said: “Yes.”

And in the castle. In our lives. Here, with us. Roman added in his mind but the words were stuck in his mouth. He didn’t know why but with Green here he felt just less lonely.

To his luck, Green didn’t question him. Instead, he simply nodded and sat down on the bench to the foot of his bed. Roman thanked him again and asked if he should blow out the candle.

“You may,” Green said and the room was coated in darkness.

___

Link for AO3, Taglist, Masterlist, and next Chapters are in my first reblog!

#intrulogical #remus sanders #roman sanders #platonic creativitwins #logan sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #fighting #talk of murder #panic attack tw #attempted assassination #eir writes #please reblog #Never Met You

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nostalgiabones · 4 years ago

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As Time Goes By // L.H

So here it is — part two to Missing Piece! This is officially the longest fic that I have ever written. I put so so much into this as people seemed to enjoy the first part so much, so I hope I did it justice! I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has sent me kind & encouraging messages about this — I don’t think i’ve ever had such an amazing response to a fic like that before, so it means the world to me! Also, a huge thank you to @calumrose for putting up with me rambling about nothing but this for the past three days, and reading it over and over everytime I added another line! I would LOVE to get some feedback on this, so please let me know your thoughts ♥️

Word count: 12,635

Bella had been home for just over a week.

It had been a long nine days of sleepless nights and adjusting to each other, in more ways than one. You and Luke had been thrown into the role of first time parents, but not with a newborn — instead with a 14 month old. Bella was confused. It was as if she didn’t understand that she lived with you and Luke now; that your house was her home. She wasn’t comfortable just yet.

She didn’t like being held for too long, she would never openly indicate that she wanted affection. She would push away from you and Luke if you tried to hold her or comfort her when she cried. You’d usually have to wait until she crashed somewhere in the house before cautiously carrying her up to bed. Yet, if she woke up in her crib, she would cry for attention until you or Luke brought her into bed with the two of you. It made sense — she was in an unfamiliar house, with people she was unsure of. You had to remember that it was a big adjustment for her, as well as for you and Luke.

She just wanted to know that you were there.

It was exhausting. Getting very little sleep during the night was having an effect on all three of you during the day. Luke had taken a few weeks away from the studio in order to be at home to support you and be there for Bella. She needed to get to know you both as her parents.

“What time did Sarah say she would be here?” Luke asked, slumped against the cushions of the sofa. He had his eyes on Bella, sitting up on her play mat on the floor. They had been up since 5:00am, after having only several hours of sleep — the new normal in your household.

He was tired, and so was she. He promised he could watch her whilst you caught up on sleep. You had worked out a system where you’d take shifts in the morning; one of you would watch her for a few hours whilst the other slept. It worked as it meant at least one of you was running on more than three hours sleep.

It won’t be like this forever.

At least that’s what you had read on countless adoption discussion forums, in the middle of the night when you couldn’t sleep. You just needed some kind of reassurance that Bella was going to be okay. Even though it had only been a week, it felt like much longer — and so far, things weren’t easing up.

“I think around lunch.” You replied, tapping on the screen of your phone to check the time. It seemed to lose all meaning now that night and day were practically the same.

There was a moment of silence before Luke asked, “Are you nervous about it?”

You watched as Bella reached out for her stuffed bear on the floor, before rubbing her eyes. Two clear signs she was tired. Signs that Sarah knew too.

“I just don’t want her to think we’re doing something wrong,” You sighed. Luke held his arm out against the back of the sofa, gesturing for you to lay against him. You happily obliged, the familiar scent and warmth of his body providing comfort that you needed in the moment. “She’s so tired. I don’t want Sarah to think we aren’t taking care of her.”

“I know what you mean.” Luke nodded in agreement. It was good to have him going through the same process as you — there was never a time where he made you feel unreasonable, or as though you couldn’t tell him how you felt. “But you know Sarah told us none of this was going to be easy. She’s done this before, she knows it takes much longer than a week for her to settle in.”

The rational part of your brain knew he was right.

Sarah would still be visiting for the foreseeable future; you and Luke weren’t able to apply for the adoption order to officially adopt Bella until she had lived with you for at least ten weeks. Until then, Sarah was still partly legally responsible for Bella as well as you and Luke. It seemed like a long time, but at this rate, you were grateful to have her ongoing support.

“I’ll go put her down.” Luke moved cautiously. He kissed your cheek in a gesture of reassurance before lifting Bella up, praying that she would stay asleep until he put her down. Cradling her in his arms, he looked at her face as she slept. Her soft, rosy cheeks sucked on the pacifier between her lips as she slept — one of the things that always helped her calm down. She felt warm against his t-shirt. It made his heart ache that she wasn’t comfortable with the two of you yet. She looked so calm; it made him forget about the hours that she spent crying that kept him up at night.

Luke went through the motions of what he usually did when putting her down for a nap. He had spent far too long researching different ways to help her adjust to him, and to her new home. One of the things that was meant to help was surrounding her with familiar items that would remind her of you and/or him, and since he found this — he let her sleep with his well worn cream Friends of Friends hoodie. It was soft and smelt like him. He grabbed it from the chair in the corner of your bedroom (one that often turned into his laundry pile, no matter how many times you told him to not do that) and set it down in her crib. He held onto her a little tighter for a moment — it felt nice to hold her without her pushing away from him, which she often did. The rejection from her made his heart ache, when all he wanted to do was love her and have her love him back.

“Sleep tight, bubs.” He whispered to her, being gentle as he set her down on top of his hoodie. She stirred for a moment, burying her face in the soft material and pulling her stuffed bear closer to her as she got comfortable. He felt relieved when she curled up into a ball and stayed asleep. It was then Luke noticed Petunia had followed him upstairs; she flopped at the end of your shared bed, ready to watch Bella as she slept. She had become very protective over Bella in the past week, even though she hadn’t warmed up to Petunia yet.

Luke knelt down at the foot of the bed, squishing Petunia’s cheeks in his hands like he always did.

“Don’t wake her up, piggy.” He murmured to her, kissing the top of her head before quietly leaving the room. He hadn’t heard the knocking at the door whilst he was upstairs, but when he got back to the lounge, he found Sarah sitting on the sofa — warm mug of tea in her hands and the same kind smile on her face that he had seen at every encounter with her.

“Hi, Luke. It’s good to see you! I’m looking forward to catching up.” Sarah greeted him, standing up to wrap him in a hug. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look just as tired as your lovely other half does.”

“No offence taken,” He replied, knowing the bags under his eyes were a clear indication of his lack of sleep over the past week. “It’s good to see you too. We have a lot to catch you up on.”

“So I hear.” She sat back down on the sofa as you joined the two of them, handing a drink to Luke as well as holding your own. “So, how has she been? Fill me in. Please don’t feel like you have to hold back, I hope you know that i’m not here to judge you. I know it’s tough at first.”

“She hasn’t been sleeping, well, at all really.” You began, your tired mind trying to recall everything from the past week. “It’s been really hard to comfort her too, she pushes away from us when she’s upset and we try to hold her.”

Sarah nodded as you spoke.

“You might be relieved to know that those behaviours are completely normal,” She replied, offering you a comforting smile. “I was expecting you to say that. It’s all part of the process — she’s probably not sure that you can comfort her yet, which is why she’s so reluctant.”

Luke sighed in relief at her words. It was nice to get reassurance from someone who knew Bella so well — who had cared for her pretty much since she was born. Time was so important in this situation. He just needed to be patient.

“It’s hard for her to understand that she lives here now,” Sarah continued to explain. You knew all of these things, yet the difficulties over the past week had clouded your mind. You needed to hear her say it again. “Everything has changed for her. It’s a huge adjustment. I know you know this, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded. Please don’t think you’re doing anything wrong.”

“It’s really good to hear that.” Luke ran a hand through his curls as he spoke. “We’ve just been really worried that she’s sad or feels unsafe.”

“I know you’re probably sick of hearing that it takes time, but it really does.”

She listened to all of your worries and fears, letting the two of you get everything out. It felt good to talk to someone other than Luke about them — he listened, but was in the same position as you. He didn’t have the answers that you needed, as much as he wished he did. You talked until the sound of Bella’s cries came through the baby monitor, and Luke jumped up to get her.

“I’ll be right back.”

Luke climbed the stairs, getting closer to the sound of Bella crying and Petunia barking. He knew Petunia was probably trying to help by getting his attention, but he was also sure it scared Bella. Especially when she wasn’t her biggest fan.

“Hey, you’re okay.” He soothed, giving her a minute to wake up before he tried to hold her. Luke had a feeling Sarah was about to see exactly what you’d been talking about. He tried to pick her up the best he could, despite her wriggling and protests to be put down. “Shh, it’s alright Bella. Someone is here to see you.”

He grabbed her necessities; a pacifier and her bear before descending the stairs once more. She was sniffling in his arms, upset like she usually was when she woke up. The pacifier helped a little; the familiarity providing some comfort.

“Look who it is!”

Bella’s eyes lit up as they landed on Sarah. She immediately held her arms out to her, pushing herself away from Luke as she tried so hard to get to Sarah. Luke’s eyes caught yours as you watched Sarah comfort Bella. It was hard to see. She calmed down so quickly and looked so content in her arms. You knew Luke was thinking the same thing.

“Hi, you.” Sarah cuddled her as she clung onto her, as if she didn’t want to let go. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Silence settled over the room. It wasn’t awkward, but the uncomfortable realisation dawned on you and Luke that this was the most content Bella had been since she moved into your home.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Sarah broke the quietness with her words. “This last week is the longest we’ve been apart in her life. Don’t let it discourage you, okay? I promise, you’re doing great.”

Bella got upset once more when Sarah had to leave.

Luke’s heart felt heavy as Sarah attempted to pass her back to him, reassuring her that she was okay and safe to stay with him. She wailed against his shoulder, pushing her arms against his chest as a gesture to be put down.

“Hey, c’mon Bella. You’re okay.” He murmured, patting her back as Sarah left the house. The exhaustion from not sleeping combined with the guilt that ate away at him for how upset Bella was made it more difficult to think rationally. He just didn’t know what to do.

“I think we should just let her feel it out.” You suggested to Luke, a comforting hand rubbing over the spanse of his back and shoulder blades in an attempt to provide some reassurance. Seeing Luke beat himself up everytime he couldn’t calm her down was tough. “She’ll come to us if she needs us.”

“Will she?”

Luke didn’t mean to snap. He was tired. He wanted Bella to stop crying, to not be upset anymore — to want him, and to love him like he loved her.

“It’ll be okay. We’ll come back in a few minutes to check on her, okay?” You reassured him, trying to win over the resistance you could see in his face as he held her. She pushed her little hands against his chest once more, before Luke set her down on the ground. She sat on the floor in front of the front door, looking up at it as to wonder where Sarah had gone.

Luke flopped down on the sofa, running a hand over his face and through his hair. You joined him, resting your hand on his thigh to calm him down.

“Sarah said it’s normal, Lu.” You reminded him, knowing that it was hard to get through to him when he was in a mood like this, but knowing he needed the reminder. “I know it’s taking a long time. We just have to be patient.”

Luke nodded. He understood, and knew you were right — as well as not having the energy to argue.

“It’s only been a week,” You continued, resting your head on his shoulder. “We have a lifetime with her.”

Your words made Luke feel better. He had a lifetime to get to know her, to love her — to be her parent. You sat together in a comfortable silence for a few moments more, thinking about the visit from Sarah, along with how Bella had reacted. She still felt safe with Sarah. It felt a little like a punch to the gut, as the two of you were trying so hard. It wasn’t her fault, though.

It just takes time.

“I’m gonna go get her.” Luke’s lips brushed yours in a sweet kiss before he stood up, stretching out his shoulders and preparing himself for how she might react to him. “We should probably have lunch soon.”

You nodded in acknowledgement, waiting for the cries which usually came whenever either of you tried to comfort Bella. Although, a few moments passed and the tears never came. Luke stepped back into the lounge where you were sat, Bella passed out against his shoulder. She looked content for the time being, her soft cheeks rosy from tears, a small hand clinging onto the neck of Luke’s hoodie.

“I know it’s not nap time but I don’t think we should wake her up.” Luke spoke quietly, his hand gently patting Bella’s back as she slept. The happy moments with her really did make it worth it, knowing she felt comfortable enough to sleep on him did make you think that everything would be okay. She would feel safe eventually. “She probably tired herself out.”

“She looks pretty cosy on you.” You murmured, resting your head on his other shoulder after he sat down next to you. He could feel every emotion through the way you were looking at him — the love, the adoration, the desperation for everything to work out okay. Seeing Luke with your child made your heart swell. It was something you thought you may never get the chance to see, when you found out the two of you would be unable to conceive naturally — something that had laid heavy on your heart. He was meant to be a parent. He had too much love in his heart not to be — especially when you saw the love he had for Michael’s daughter, Harper. You knew it was just meant to happen.

You were Harper’s favourite babysitters; there was many a time she spent the evening with you and Luke, when Michael and his partner needed a night to themselves. Luke never seemed to get bored, happy to go along with any game she wanted him to play, as long as she was happy. He loved her cuddles just as much as she did. By the end of the night, when Michael came to pick her up, he’d usually find her fast asleep, tucked up on Luke’s chest. It always made your heart ache, wondering when or if you’d get to see Luke with your own child.

No wonder how difficult things got with Bella, she was worth it.

She deserved a happy family, one that could show her the love and nurture she had missed out on. She deserved a home, which as you looked at her with Luke, you knew she already had.

***

A few weeks later, you were still taking things a day at a time. Bella was slowly getting more comfortable, and had settled into a more consistent sleeping pattern — meaning you and Luke managed to get some more sleep too.

Things were slowly but surely getting easier.

You were all still learning things about each other. You and Luke were adapting to being parents, to having responsibility for another human life who depended on you for everything. It was also amazing, though. Every smile and happy expression you saw on Bella’s face made everything worth it. She had become much more playful with the two of you — showing more interest in the many toys you had gotten her, as well as making her way through some new books with the two of you. It had become part of her bedtime routine, settled in the rocking chair with either you or Luke whilst you read her a story. It calmed her down before going to sleep.

Something else you were currently working on with her, was getting her to take her first steps — she had started pulling herself up against the sofa or anything else she could reach, standing on wobbly feet until either you or Luke helped her.

“Bella,” Luke called softly from his spot on the floor, where he was sitting cross legged with Petunia resting her head on his knee. Bella had warmed up to Petunia too — she didn’t cry whenever she went near her anymore, and was more comfortable being around her. “Can I have a hug?”

The two of you were slowly trying to get her to be more affectionate. You never pushed her into hugging you or to being held — it was important she had her own space, and that she never felt pressured into being close to you both if she didn’t want to be. You and Luke always made the effort to ask her if she wanted to be held, and if she said no, you didn’t.

She was sitting a metre or so in front of him, a pacifier in her mouth and her teddy bear in her hands as she looked up at him. Her eyes watched him for a moment, recognising his gesture of holding his arms out to her — she’d ignore him if she didn’t want to be close to him. Yet, she seemed to decide against that — pushing herself up on unsteady feet against the sofa, trying to get her balance. You watched their interaction, stood at the door to the lounge to observe. Pulling your phone out, you set it to record — wanting to have the special moment to look back on forever, as well as to show Sarah.

She looked down at her feet and then back up at him, as if she was trying to work out how to get there.

“Should I help her?” Luke asked you, knowing she was unsteady on her feet but also intrigued to see whether she could do it herself.

“Just wait a minute, let’s see what she does.” You replied quietly, not wanting to startle or distract her. She rubbed her eyes, whining softly as she rubbed her cheeks against the soft cushions on the sofa. “I think she’s tired, probably why she wants a hug.”

Luke moved a little closer to her, shuffling so she wouldn’t have as far to get to him. He held his arms out to her, not close enough so she could hold his hands, but not too far that she could fall.

“Come here, angel.” He coaxed her, noticing the apprehension on her face, but also how her eyes kept moving between her feet and him. “You can do it.”

Bella pushed herself away from the sofa, one hand clinging to the edge whilst the other helped her to get her balance. She moved one foot forward, and then the other, before wobbling a little and whining around her pacifier.

“It’s okay, sweet pea. You got it,” Luke soothed her, desperate to reach out and get her, but knowing she needed to do it for herself. She took another, moving forward again before falling into Luke’s arms. “You did it!”

Tears welled in your eyes at the milestone she had achieved. You sat down next to the two of them to join them, placing a hand on her shoulder as Luke cuddled her.

“Bella, you did it! You walked, baby!” You exclaimed, trying to stop the happy tears from falling as you sat with them. “We’re so proud of you.”

She seemed happy with herself, not completely understanding why you and Luke were so excited, but enjoying the attention she was getting from the two of you.

“Hug?” She asked softly, wrapping her arms around Luke’s neck. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing at the sight — her openly asking for affection from Luke really was a huge step. It wasn’t often she spoke, only really doing so when she needed something — so to hear her ask for a hug was a lot.

“Of course, angel.” Luke was overcome with emotion too. He rested his head against hers as she clung to his neck, patting her back to hold her close. “I love you. Thanks for the cuddle.”

You kissed her cheek as well as Luke’s, before standing up to resume making dinner in the kitchen, your heart melting at the events from moments ago. As you stood up, you heard a soft whine from Bella, before a sad “no.” You turned around to look at her, asking a concerned, “what’s wrong, baby?”

“Hug.” She pouted up at you from her spot in Luke’s arms, holding her arms out to you. Luke couldn’t stop the smile on his face — he knew you worried about not bonding with her, about her not seeing you as her parent. Moments like these were so important to all three of you.

You reached down to pick her up, holding her in your arms — close to your chest. She rested her head on your shoulder, wrapping her arms around you like she just did with Luke. It made everything worthwhile, knowing she felt comfortable, safe and loved. You just wanted her to feel the love that you and Luke tried to show to her.

“You’re so sweet, Bella.” You cooed to her, running a hand through her soft curls. It felt so good to have her so close, so content with being held. Luke couldn’t take his eyes away from the two of you, a sense of relief washing over him that things were finally starting to improve, little by little. “Shall we go make some dinner?”

Bella was gradually becoming more open to affection. She seemed much more relaxed, much less sad — her grieving had lessened, but hadn’t completely gone. Luke found himself pacing around your bedroom every so often, letting her cry and process whatever she had going on. Sometimes she wanted to be held, sometimes she just wanted someone to be near her whilst she cried — it really depended on the situation.

Some nights she wouldn’t sleep — it seemed as though she didn’t really know what she wanted when she was in one of those moods. She’d lay in between you and Luke, not really wanting any attention but also not wanting to be alone. You and Luke didn’t sleep on those nights either.

“Bella, shall we read one of your books?” Luke asked quietly, gently setting his hand on her back to get her attention and offer some reassurance. He hoped it would help her sleep. She blinked up at him, sucking harder on her pacifier as she thought about what she wanted. She was so tired, but there was no way she would sleep. She didn’t cry either, but it was hard to know what she wanted.

“I’ll go make her a bottle.” You slipped away quietly, heading to the kitchen to get her some warm milk, hoping it would make her sleepy enough to actually fall asleep. She whined a little as she watched you leave.

“It’s okay, she’s coming back.” Luke soothed her, pushing her soft curls away from her face. She wasn’t really sure of how she felt or what would make her feel better, but yours and Luke’s faces were familiar to her, and she wanted you both around. She seemed to get upset when one of you left the room, no matter what situation you were in. “Shh, you’re alright.”

She laid down in the bed again, rubbing her face against the soft cotton pillowcase. She sniffled and sucked harder on her pacifier, which was one of the only things that brought her comfort. It was familiar to her and it always helped, even just a little. You and Luke had discussed trying to wean her off of it, but it wasn’t the time.

Luke’s heart ached as he looked at her.

She looked as though she was thinking far too much for someone who hadn’t even been alive for two years. She was only a baby, and it broke his heart to know she had felt so much sadness in her life so far. He couldn’t change what she had been through, but he could try to make it better going forward. That was all he wanted to do.

“I know you’re sad, sweet pea. That’s okay.” Luke murmured to her, not knowing whether she really understood what was saying, but wanting to say it anyway. His fingertips gently grazed up and down her pyjama covered back as he spoke. “You’re allowed to be sad. We love you though, okay? You’re so strong.”

She looked up at him as he spoke, like she wanted to hear his voice. There was no expression on her face, but it seemed as though she listened. They sat in a comfortable but somber silence until you returned, a bottle of milk along with a warm blanket in your hands.

“Here we go,” You sat back down in the bed, handing her the soft yellow blanket you had just warmed for a few moments in the dryer. She still wasn’t sure of what she wanted. You tried to hand her the milk too, but she shook her head, not accepting it. You and Luke had learned to be patient in these situations. You just had to go with whatever she wanted, and try not to get frustrated.

She held the blanket against her face, cuddling it close to herself. The warmth made her sleepy, her eyes heavy as she rubbed them. She held her hand out once more, towards the bottle — she decided that she did want it after all. You gave it to her and she took her pacifier out, then started to drink it, before deciding she was too tired and letting it slip out of her mouth.

“I got it.” Luke whispered, picking the warm bottle up from where it had fallen onto the bed. She snuggled up to the pillow and you wrapped the blanket around her, making sure she was comfortable. Luke held the bottle to her mouth, seeing if she did actually want it but was just too sleepy to hold it herself. She accepted it, sucking at the milk as Luke held it for her. “There we go.”

You softly ran your fingertips up and down her arm as she drank the milk, watching as her eyes grew heavier. She didn’t resist the affection — holding her blanket between her fingers and rubbing it against her face. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, her eyes finally closing her and breathing evening out. Luke slipped the pacifier back between her lips, waiting until she took to it before letting go.

“Shall I put her in the crib?” Luke asked, not wanting to risk waking her but knowing she should be sleeping in there, rather than in your bed.

“Not yet,” You replied, shaking your head. It was too soon — she would wake up if he tried to move her now. “Wait until she’s in more of a deep sleep.”

He nodded in agreement. You sat in a peaceful quietness; the soft sound of her breathing being the only one in the room, along with Petunia’s snores from her bed in the corner.

“She’s getting better.” You whispered, realising that it hadn’t taken as long to soothe her as it usually did. She hadn’t cried, she didn’t fight against either you or Luke when you tried to comfort her. It felt like progress. “She’s calming down faster than she used to.”

“It’s good to see.” He murmured, a soft smile on his face. It was reassuring to know she felt safe and was able to calm herself down enough to go to sleep. It meant more to you and Luke than words could describe — you didn’t need to say it. You both knew.

You sat together for a little longer, waiting until Bella was properly asleep before Luke tried to move her to bed. He scooped her up, resting her against her chest — soothing noises spilling from his lips as he tried to keep her asleep. He moved to the crib, rocking her in his arms for a moment before setting her down against the soft sheets.

“Shh, shh.” Luke whispered. She stirred a little, shuffling until she got comfortable before curling up into a ball, falling back asleep. He pushed her hair away from her face, kissing her forehead softly before whispering a quiet, “Goodnight, baby.”

***

Around a month after Bella being at home with you and Luke, the guys were desperate to meet her. It was important that she had time to adjust at home, getting used to living with the two of you before introducing her to anyone else. She had been getting more comfortable everyday, seeming to accept that this was her home now. You were nervous to introduce the guys to her. You didn’t want her to be overwhelmed, but it was important that she felt comfortable around them — it was especially important to Luke. They were his brothers, and he wanted his daughter to feel safe around them.

Bella was sitting in the middle of the living room floor, pushing her trains around the soft carpet, mumbling quiet noises to herself as she played. It was her new favourite game — she’d push them around the house, on any surface that would work, softly imitating the noises that they would make. The noise was something you’d come to hear a lot of, it was almost comforting — to know she was happy and content to play. Occasionally she’d call out a “choo choo!” making yours and Luke’s hearts melt. You had no idea where she had picked it up from — most likely a show Luke sat and watched with her when he got up with her, early in the morning.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” You asked Luke, watching her from the kitchen as she played happily. She hadn’t been introduced to anyone other than you and him — you had no idea how she would react.

After speaking to Sarah, she had suggested that it would be a good time to introduce her to other people close to you, to see how she felt around them. The boys were a good place to start.

“I dunno,” He replied, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. He really wanted her to be okay. “I hope so, though. She’s been doing really well recently and Sarah said it seemed like a good time, so hopefully it’ll be okay.”

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Michael was bringing Harper over too — you wanted to know how she would react around another child of a similar age to her. Harper, at the age of three, was around two years older than Bella but they were close enough in age to be able to play together. Harper had missed you and Luke, as you hadn’t been able to see her over the last month or so since Bella came home. Michael had told Luke several times over text that Harper was excited to see him — he had missed her too.

“Hey, guys!” You greeted them at the door when they arrived, Bella’s big brown eyes instantly looking up to the front door. She clutched onto her trains a little tighter, curious as to what was going on. Harper excitedly let go of Michael’s hand and jumped up at Luke, wrapping her arms around his legs.

“Uncle Luke!” She squealed excitedly, holding her arms up at him until he picked her up. “I miss you!”

“I’ve missed you too, sweetheart.” Luke held her on his hip as she happily chatted to him about what she had been up to. Calum, Ashton and Michael followed behind her, greeting you both and following you into the lounge.

“I brought some toys for Bella to play with!” Harper told you both excitedly, gesturing to the backpack hung on Michael’s shoulder.

“Harper,” Michael quietly got his daughter’s attention. “Come here, honey. Remember what we talked about, okay? Bella is a baby and she’s still trying to get used to living here. We don’t want to scare her, okay?”

Harper nodded, the reminder complete with a kiss to her cheek from her dad.

“It’s so weird that you’re parents now.” Calum placed his hand on Luke’s shoulder, in a show of support. “Congratulations again though.”

“Thanks, Cal.” You replied, smiling at him softly. They had all been so supportive throughout the whole process, and them meeting Bella had been a long time coming. “She’s just in here.”

“Bella,” Luke called out, crouching down next to where she was sitting. He was extremely worried about overwhelming her. “Shall we say hi? You have some visitors.”

Bella immediately became shy, her eyes observing the three unfamiliar tall men, along with the three year old girl holding onto Michael’s hand. She stopped pushing the train around in front of her and immediately clutched it to her chest, not knowing how to respond. She looked up at Luke, as if she expected him to know what to do. Ashton, Calum and Michael spread themselves out around the room, sitting apart on the sofa as not to scare her. There had been an extensive FaceTime call the night before, explaining how she was coping at home and how she may react to them— as well as giving them suggestions on how not to overwhelm her. Luke was happy to know they had paid attention.

“Up.” Bella’s voice was quiet as she spoke. She held her arms up to Luke, her gesture for him to pick her up. He did immediately, lips brushing over her temple as she observed the people in front of her.

“It’s okay,” He murmured, patting her back as she sat on his hip. The guys couldn’t hold back their smiles, at seeing Luke as a parent — especially Michael. They had all seen the effect that the whole process had on the two of you, and on your relationship. Michael felt guilty everytime Harper had been around you both, as much as he knew you loved her and how much you wished for a child of your own.

She wrapped her legs around him, ensuring he wouldn’t be able to put her down as small talk ensued between you and the guys. Ashton had started talking about a song he had written that he needed Luke’s expertise for, hoping to get him back in the studio soon. Although, he completely understood why Luke had needed the time away.

“Daddy,” Harper’s soft voice was heard in the room. She sat in Michael’s lap, waiting until he told her it was okay for her to play. “Can I play with the trains?”

“You’ll have to ask Uncle Luke baby, I think they’re Bella’s.” Michael replied, pushing her blonde hair out of her face as she slid off of his knee.

“We can play, honey.” Luke told her, sitting down with Bella in his lap. “Bella, shall we play with your trains with Harper? Let’s show them how we play, huh?”

Harper sat opposite them, picking up the first train she saw in front of her — which so happened to be the one Bella played with the most, her favourite red one. Bella whined in Luke’s arms as she realised, reaching out to take it from Harper.

“Hey, hey,” Luke took her much smaller hands in his, stopping her from snatching it from Harper. He knew she didn’t mean anything badly by it — she wasn’t used to sharing her things with anyone, especially not another child. “That one is her favourite, Harper. We can’t snatch though, okay Bella?”

“Why don’t we play with this one, bubba?” Michael had moved to sit next to his daughter, wanting to intervene to help Luke out. You chatted with Calum and Ashton as they played, as well as watching the interaction between Harper and Bella. You and Luke had been taking notes of her milestones, so you could report them back to Sarah on her next visit.

Bella’s eyebrows furrowed at the girl sitting in front of her, playing with her toys and getting Luke’s attention. She didn’t understand. She didn’t know who these people were, or why they were there, and she still wasn’t sure about them. Luke noticed how unsettled she seemed, her eyes curiously looking around the room as well as at Harper and Michael. She sat in his lap, arms crossed over her stomach in apprehension.

A few moments later, Bella reluctantly took another train and pushed it around in front of her, at an attempt to join in. It seemed like a little bit of progress, even though she barely interacted with the people in front of her. It was then Luke realised she didn’t have her pacifier, which could help to make her feel more content.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” He told her, setting her down on the soft rug to keep playing whilst he quickly went upstairs. He wouldn’t be long, and he knew it would help. You watched Bella as Luke stood up to leave, noticing how her lips formed into a pout and her eyes filled with tears. She stood up on wobbly feet, slowly trailing behind where she had seen Luke go, as if to say — where have you gone?

“Bella, it’s okay baby. He’s coming back.” You reassured her, moving to stand to make sure she didn’t fall. She kept going though, unsteady steps heading to the stairs where she knew Luke had gone. She whined softly from the bottom of the stairs, bottom lip stuck out in a pout as she looked for him.

“I’m here, Bella. Wait there, okay? I’ll be right back.” Luke told her, with a little urgency in his voice — she wasn’t steady enough on her feet to get upstairs, and he couldn’t bear the thought of her hurting herself because she wanted him. Although, he did find it sweet that she sought him out for reassurance. It made him happy that she recognised him as familiar, when she was surrounded by new people.

He grabbed her pacifier from her bedroom, as well as her favourite book and a few other things to keep her occupied. He quickly made his way back down the stairs, his heart melting at the sight of Bella standing up against the bottom step, waiting for him.

“Hey, you.” Luke cooed at her, picking her up and setting her on his hip again. He handed her the pacifier, watching as she slipped it into her mouth, hoping it would make her a little more relaxed. Luke sat in between Ashton and Calum on the sofa, setting Bella down to stand between his legs. She clung to him, her face resting against his stomach as she tried to hide her face.

“Hey, Bella.” Ashton smiled at her, not moving closer to her but wanting to interact with her somehow. She looked up at him, continuing to stay close to Luke but smiling at Ashton softly behind her pacifier.

“You can’t really tell but she’s smiling at you.” Luke told Ashton. Luke ran his fingers through her hair as she looked at Ashton, like she was deciding what she thought of him.

“Is she settling in well?” Michael asked, from his spot on the floor where he was still playing with Harper.

“We’re getting there,” You replied. The guys had been getting regular updates since Bella had been home, but you and Luke had been too busy adjusting to your new family to keep them up to date with every little thing. “She’s much more affectionate with us now, and is sleeping much better. It’s up and down, but we’re going in the right direction.”

“That’s good.” Calum replied, watching how Bella looked up at Luke every so often for reassurance. It was clear that she felt safe with him.

“Daddy, can I give Bella her present now?” Harper asked Michael, hoping it would entice her to come and play with them both. Harper was a sociable child, always wanting to make new friends and play with whoever was around — she wanted to be friends with Bella.

“You brought her a present? That’s so sweet, Harper.” You watched as Michael passed Harper her backpack, and she pulled out a small plush dog, similar to the one she had herself.

“Look! It’s a doggy, like mine! And now they can be friends!” She explained excitedly. Bella’s eyes landed on her as the attention was diverted in her direction. “Can I give it to her?”

It made your heart melt at how cautious Harper was being, taking great care not to overwhelm the baby she so badly wanted to get to know.

“Bella, look what Harper has for you.” Luke rubbed her back, coaxing her to look in Harper’s direction. She sucked harder on the pacifier between her lips, not making an effort to move any closer — but Luke spotted the curiosity on her face. “What is it? Shall we see?”

Harper moved closer to the two of them, cautiously handing the stuffed dog out towards her. Bella looked at the object in her hand, still not acknowledging it. Luke kept his hand on her back, so she knew he was there.

“This is for you.” Harper said to her, waiting until Bella held her hand out to take it.

“That’s so kind, Harper! Thank you so much.” Luke used his free arm to pull her into a hug, kissing her forehead. Harper smiled, happily that Bella accepted her gift. “Look, baby. Isn’t he so cute?”

Bella played with the soft toy in her hands, pushing her hands through the soft fur on its head. It took her a moment, but she finally decided that she liked it, hugging it to her chest. A soft chorus of “aww”’s broke out amongst the group as they watched the sweet moment.

“She loves it!” Luke exclaimed. It seemed as though in that moment, Bella decided that the unfamiliar faces weren’t there to hurt her — like she was accepting that she could feel okay around them. She let go of Luke’s leg, stepping forward on wobbly feet as she headed back to her trains. She sat down in front of them, grabbing her favourite one and pushing it around the floor like she always did. She took another in her hands — holding it out to Harper, as an invitation to play.

“She wants to play with you, honey.” Michael told Harper, knowing how relieved everyone in the room was feeling that the day was going well. They so badly wanted to get to know Bella — they knew that had to be patient. It was all a long process.

Harper sat down next to her, accepting the train that Bella held out.

“When does everything become official?” Ashton asked, as Harper and Bella played quietly on the floor in front of you all.

“We can’t apply for the adoption order until she’s been with us for 10 weeks, so we still have a little while to go.” Luke explained, thinking about the legal process they still had to go through before she was an official member of the Hemmings Family. “We’ll have to go to the family court. Our social worker will be there too to share everything we’ve reported to her from Bella’s time with us, and then the judge will hopefully grant us the order and we get full parental responsibility.”

Ashton nodded in understanding.

“It’s all worth it though, right?”

It definitely would be — it already was. Luke didn’t even need to think about the answer, and neither did you. The love you had already felt from Bella over the last month made you grateful for the lifetime you had ahead with her.

***

Until the court granted you and Luke the adoption order for Bella, Sarah was still partly responsible for her. You had kept in frequent contact with her — sharing photos and videos of Bella’s milestones and cute moments to keep her updated.

With the court date coming up in the next few weeks, Sarah wanted to pay another visit to your home. She wasn’t worried, she had made that clear — it was more for reassurance for you and Luke, as well as hearing more about Bella’s progress.

You were intrigued as to how Bella would react to Sarah this time.

The last time had been so soon after first moving in with you that she had missed her so much. Since then, Bella had made a lot of progress, including meeting new people and becoming much more affectionate with both you and Luke. You were hoping Bella wouldn’t get so upset when Sarah had to leave this time.

Bella was sitting, playing with her trains, like she spent a lot of her time doing. Her stuffed dog, known as ‘doggy’ — the gift that Harper so lovingly gave to her when she visited with the guys — sat next to her as she played. She had grown very attached to the stuffed animal to the point where she wouldn’t sleep without him.

A knock at the door diverted her attention from the trains.

“Hello, you two!”

Bella pushed herself up onto her feet at the familiar voice, taking wobbly steps towards the front door where you and Luke greeted her.

“There’s my favourite girl!” Sarah knelt down and opened her arms, gasping when she realised Bella was actually walking towards her. “Look at you walking all by yourself! When did you get so big?”

Bella smiled and wrapped her arms around Sarah’s neck, clearly happy to see her.

“It feels like it’s been so long since we last saw you.” Luke spoke as he closed the front door, inviting Sarah into the lounge with Bella in her arms.

“It does,” Sarah replied, setting Bella down on the ground in the hopes of seeing how she would interact with you and Luke, as well as the several toys scattered around the floor. “I have a feeling I’m about to get some positive updates though.”

You and Luke joined Sarah on the sofa as Bella resumed playing with her toys. Sarah observed her carefully, watching her body language to see if she was comfortable. She seemed content — making her “choo choo” noise as she pushed the trains around in front of her.

“That’s her new favourite game,” Luke explained, a smile on his face as they watched her play. “She’s obsessed with them.”

“Has she had the chance to interact with any other children yet?” Sarah asked, curious to know how Bella responded around other children if she had been around anyone else.

“Yeah, she met my bandmate’s daughter a few weeks ago.” Luke replied. “She’s three, her name is Harper. Bella was really shy around them at first but she warmed up after a little while. Harper gave her the little dog she has next to her there, and she’s grown really attached to that.”

“That’s good to hear.” Sarah replied, nodding as Luke spoke. “Did they play together?”

“Harper tried to play with her favourite train and she wasn’t happy about it at first, but after she came around a little bit they played together without any issues,” You replied, recalling the events from when she first met the guys and Harper. “She’s learning how to share which is really nice.”

As if Bella knew what you were talking about, she stood up with a train in her hand and took it to Luke — as an offer for him to play with her. He obliged, moving to sit on the carpet with her and play like she usually did.

“What is her sleeping pattern like?”

“Definitely a lot better than it was.” Luke informed her. “We give her a bottle before she goes to sleep. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night but not very often, and she’s happy to sleep in her crib.”

“She seems to be doing a lot better, this is all really great to hear.” She assured you, writing notes down in her clipboard that she would need to add to your file. “This will definitely all go in your favour for the adoption order too. How are you feeling about the whole court process?”

It had been something you and Luke had discussed many times — the process of going into court to prove that you could be loving and responsible parents for Bella was a daunting one. The risk of them not granting you the order laid heavy on your hearts, although it was extremely unlikely — especially with the way that Bella had settled in. Sarah would be there to share all the information she had, which was nothing but recommendations for you to get the order.

“Nervous,” Luke responded, turning to talk with Sarah whilst continuing to play with Bella. “We just want everything to be certain now, you know? Even though we know the likelihood of them not granting us the order is low.”

Having the adoption order would mean you and Luke gaining all of the parental rights that you would have had if Bella was your biological daughter. It would also mean Sarah losing her legal responsibility over Bella — even though you were sure she’d keep in touch in the future.

“Absolutely, please don’t worry about that.” Sarah reassured you. She had been through this process many times, enough to know that there would be no reason for you or Luke to be rejected by the court.. The two of you had shown nothing but love towards her, and she was happy and safe in your home. “I’ll make sure the judge sees exactly what’s going on here, okay? That she has a loving and beautiful home with the two of you.”

“Thank you,” Luke smiled, following a sigh of relief. “We really appreciate that.”

“Bella, do you want to help me make dinner?” You asked her, wanting Sarah to see her interacting with you too. It was something you did together to bond with her — she enjoyed helping you out and it was a good chance to spend time together. You and Luke tried to involve her with activities around the house, hoping it would make it feel more like home to her. “Come on, bub.”

You held your hand out to her which she took, toddling along next to you as you headed to the kitchen. Sarah stayed next to Luke, happy to have the chance to talk to him individually. She watched as you picked Bella up, setting her on your hip as you got out the ingredients for her favourite dinner — a pasta bake. She could hear you quietly talking to her, explaining what you needed her to do, and getting her to help you find the ingredients in the fridge. Luke loved watching you together too.

“Have you been referring to each other as ‘mama’ or ‘dada’ in front of her?” Sarah asked. Luke shook his head. The two of you had the conversation about whether to start using that language to refer to each other, so she would pick up on it, but it seemed to soon. The looming worry of the adoption order being rejected hung heavy over your heads, and having her call you mum and dad before she was officially a part of the family was too risky. You didn’t want to confuse her if the worst was to happen.

“We talked about it, but we decided to wait until we got the order.” Luke explained, worried that Sarah would disagree with what you opted to do — especially since she was so sure of you being granted the order. “We just didn’t want to risk her getting used to calling us that for it to go wrong.”

“I understand,” She replied. “I know it’s a worry, but please try not to focus on it. I promise I will do my absolute best, and it’s extremely unlikely that you’ll be rejected. You’re doing a great job, she seems very happy even from what I’ve seen of her so far.”

“Thank you,” He smiled, his heart melting as he spotted you and Bella together in the kitchen — she sat on your hip as you stirred pasta in a pan, her eyes curiously watching everything you were doing. Luke had waited so long for these moments. There was nothing he loved more than seeing you with Bella — seeing her look at you like you were her whole world. Getting to know her over the last eight weeks had been a beautiful experience. He thought touring was the most chaotic part of his life, but since Bella joined your family, he realised he was wrong.

“Thank you so much for having me again.” You handed Sarah her coat as she prepared to leave. With dinner eaten and more discussions over Bella had, it was time for her to go — and you hoped Bella wouldn’t get upset again.

“Of course. Thank you for everything, as always.” Luke spoke. He felt Bella pull on the leg of his trousers, trying to get his attention. She was reaching up to him, mumbling an “up!” behind her pacifier. He happily obliged, resting her in his arms as Sarah stepped outside. Bella asking for Luke’s attention was a good sign. “Shall we say bye, Bella?”

“Bye bye.” She called out quietly from where her head was resting on Luke’s shoulder, lifting a hand to wave at her as she left. Tears welled in your eyes at the sight, thinking back to what happened the last time Sarah visited, and how Bella had reacted to her leaving.

She had made so much progress.

Luke patted her back as she yawned against his shoulder.

“Is it bedtime, baby? Is someone ready for bed?” Luke asked her, kissing her forehead. She needed a bath, pasta sauce ending up smeared all over her hands and soft cheeks.

“Bed?” She replied, rubbing her eyes. She pushed against Luke, looking around for something in particular — you. As soon as her eyes landed on you, she called out again and held her arms out towards you.

“You want me to put you to bed?” You asked, trying not to let any tears slip out again as she tried to get out of Luke's arms to get to you. It was usually his time with her, she seemed to go to him for comfort most of the time and when she wanted someone to play with. It had played on your mind that she seemed to have a stronger bond with him than you. However, all she wanted now was to be in your arms. “Come here, sweet girl. Let’s go have a bath and head to bed, huh?”

Luke felt a sense of relief wash over him as he watched you carry her upstairs, quietly chatting with her as you held her close. He knew you thought a lot about your relationship with her and whether she had bonded with you or not — but as he watched you together, he knew she had. He saw the way you looked at her and the way she looked at you too. He knew she loved you just as much as she loved him too.

Luke worked on cleaning the kitchen from dinner. As he did the dishes, he could hear water splashing from the bath upstairs — he knew you’d be lathering her soft curls with your favourite coconut shampoo, and making bubble beards to hear her sweet laughter. He felt so content. He waited a little longer, before heading up to her nursery, where he could hear your soft voice reading her one of her favourite books. He didn’t want to disturb the moment, but he couldn’t resist peering in.

The sight he was met with made his heart swell.

You were rocking in the soft chair in the corner of her nursery, humming under your breath as Bella fell asleep. Curled up in your arms, her hand clutched on to the neck of his t-shirt that you had borrowed, her eyes were heavy as you rocked her.

Neither of you needed to say anything. The way you both felt in the moment said more than words would be able to.

You thought back to her first week at home, where she would refuse to be held or accept any comfort, and cried until she eventually tired herself out. Moments like these, where she wanted to be rocked to sleep, had seemed like a lifetime away. It had been so difficult at times, more than could be explained, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the overwhelming love you felt towards her.

Luke also noticed the tears lining your eyes.

He couldn’t tell where the tears were coming from. He had noticed a few times over the past few days where you’d gotten emotional, but he had gotten distracted with Bella and you’d been okay again. However, now, he wanted to talk.

“I’ll put her down, and then we can talk, okay?” Luke whispered, his hand landing on your shoulder in a reassuring touch.

You shook your head softly before replying, “it’s okay, I got her.”

You carefully stood from the rocking chair, shifting Bella in your arms so she was pressed against your chest. She stayed asleep, the pacifier in her mouth helping to keep her content as she snoozed. Luke lingered in the hallway, waiting until you’d settled Bella into her crib in your room, tucking her blanket around her body and leaving the door open ajar behind you.

“C’mere.” Luke murmured, holding his arms out for you to slot into as you broke down in tears. He hated the sound of you crying, it always tore his heart into pieces, no matter the situation. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you flush against his chest as you sobbed into his neck. His fingertips ran up and down your back, soothing you by touch as you cried. “Shh, it’s okay honey. I’m right here.”

You tried to catch your breath as you held onto Luke, the faded scent of his cologne that clung to his skin and clothes comforting to your senses. The past eight weeks had been a lot. You hadn't had time to process any of the feelings, as well as hardly speaking to Luke about them. Everything had built up.

“What’s the matter?” Luke asked softly, his finger gently placed underneath your chin, to tilt your face to look at him. His thumbs landed on your cheeks, softly brushing away the tears that had fallen as he looked into your eyes. It made him realise that he hadn’t held you for a while. The two of you had been so focused on Bella, that it seemed as though you had forgotten about each other. “What’s with the tears, gorgeous?”

You didn’t know how to verbalise it, or even where to start.

“I love you,” You whimpered, trying to keep your sobs under control as you looked at him. The beautiful, kind, caring man you were so lucky to call your husband. “I love you and I’m so proud of us. I just… I love Bella so much. And I think she’s starting to love us too.”

His thumb traced your cheekbones, holding your face in his hands but without speaking — he wanted you to get everything out first. He nodded, though. He knew you were right. The two of you had been terrified that Bella wasn’t going to settle in — it wasn’t something you often spoke about, since it scared you both so much. He knew the tears were out of relief.

His nose nudged against yours as he moved his face closer, just needing to be intimate with you. He just wanted to feel close to you, as connected as you always were. His lips gently brushed yours, a sign of the love he didn’t have to speak of to know it was there.

“She does,” He confirmed to you, thinking about the scene he had been met with just moments ago. “You should see the way she looks at you, babe. She adores you. You’re giving her the love that she’s never felt before.”

The wetness of your tears met his fingertips as he wiped them away, his words being everything you needed to hear. The desperation to be a parent that had built up over the last few months and years all seemed to be coming out as you thought about the sweet baby girl fast asleep in your bedroom.

“We are.” You corrected him, trying not to cry even more when you thought about them together. Luke had only become more affectionate and soft in his new role as a parent — one he was always destined to fulfill. “She feels safe with us now, she wants us. You’re amazing, Luke. You’re everything a parent should be. She’s so happy when she’s with you.”

Luke sighed against your lips, closing his eyes momentarily as he tried not to get emotional too.

“You’re going to make me cry with you.” He chuckled, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. “I know it’s been hard. It’s been so much to handle, but look at us now. We waited so long for this, and we did it.”

“It’s not over yet,” You reminded him, not wanting to ruin the loving moment but not being able to forget the looming court date at the back of your mind. “But we’re so close.”

“So close,” He smiled. Every day was a day closer to Bella officially becoming a Hemmings. “We’re getting closer every day.”

***

With just over a week until the court date, Luke was anxious.

Michael’s partner had offered to take you out for the day, knowing you needed to take your mind off of everything just for a few hours — leaving Luke and Michael in charge of Harper and Bella.

“So, how are you holding up?” Michael asked, accepting the beer Luke handed to him as he joined his bandmate on the sofa. Bella had been happy to see Harper, instantly searching out her doggy, the one that matched hers. Harper had been happy to see that Bella loved hers so much.

“Good, man.” Luke replied, his fingertips drumming along the edge of the sofa. A telltale sign of his anxiety that Michael knew too well. “We’re just so close to everything being official now, we’ve waited so long for it.”

Luke couldn’t take his eyes off of Bella as she sat on the floor in front of him, watching as Harper pulled a few of her toys out of her backpack. She was fresh from a nap — cheeks rosy and hair tousled from how she had slept.

“It’s the best feeling though, isn’t it?”

Luke smiled at Michael’s words. He knew exactly what he was talking about.

He loved the little moments. Waking up every morning with her asleep in the crib at the end of his bed was one of his favourite things. Even though he knew she shouldn’t be sleeping in your bed, he savoured the moments where she fell asleep in there accidentally, and he’d be woken by little pyjama covered feet resting against his back. Her cuddles were nothing like he had ever felt before — the love and sweetness she radiated gave him a feeling he was sure he’d never find anywhere else. At bedtime when she was getting sleepy, and she’d go to him for his warm cuddles — it made him melt. He knew she felt safe with him now. Luke loved the way she wanted him to be involved when she played now, too — at first he sat and watched her from a distance, knowing she was content to be alone — but now she’d openly invite him to join her. She had learned how to share, and seemed proud of herself when someone accepted whatever she offered them, whether it was a toy or a piece of her afternoon snack. Her laugh was his favourite sound. She had brought so much happiness to your lives and to your house — she made it a home.

He nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

“I miss having a baby,” Michael admitted as he watched Harper play — he felt as though she was growing older and older with every day that passed. “Even now, when Harper falls asleep on me it still melts my heart. I hope she never grows out of it.”

“I’m sure she won’t. You’re her idol.” Luke replied, knowing it was true — Harper had looked up to Michael ever since she was born. He loved seeing her grow up, and seeing Michael evolve into being a parent.

Harper stood to run to the stairs, remembering that she had left something in one of her coat pockets that she just had to show Bella. Bella wanted to follow — standing up and attempting to chase after her. Although, she wasn’t as steady on her feet as Harper was, and she tripped over the edge of the rug, taking a tumble to the ground.

Luke was instantly out of his seat as he heard her cries. They hurt his heart, not knowing whether she had bumped her head or grazed her knee.

“Oh dear.” He scooped her up straight away, holding her against his chest and gently patting her back like he always did to soothe her. “Shh, you’re alright baby. It’s okay.”

He bounced her in his arms as she calmed down, hiding her face in his neck as she cried.

”Hey, Bella. It’s alright, honey.” He reassured her, running a hand through her hair. He waited until her sobs quietened down into whimpers, before she lifted her head to look up at him. “Where does it hurt, angel? Can you show me?”

She sniffled against his shoulder as she pointed to her knee. He looked to where she was gesturing to, seeing a little red mark from where she had scraped it on the carpet.

“It’s only a little bump, sweetheart.” He reassured her, kissing her damp cheek. He rubbed his thumb over her knee, as if him touching it would make it magically go away. “You’re okay.”

Michael had watched the whole moment between them and he couldn’t help but smile, despite the fact that Bella had hurt herself. He loved seeing Luke in dad mode. A mode that never went away once it started. It had been rough for them all, hearing about your troubles conceiving and then trying to make a decision about how to start a family — they all wanted you and Luke to be happy. Michael knew, from what he had just seen between Luke and Bella, that he was happy.

***

“Do you think we’re gonna get any sleep tonight?”

You spoke quietly, breaking the silence that had settled over the room. It wasn’t uncomfortable — it never was with Luke, not after being in love for so many years — but it was anxious. You both felt it. Tomorrow was going to be a big day.

“I think we should,” Luke replied, turning to look at you, at the other side of the bed. “However, I’m not sure we actually will.”

Bella laid fast asleep, blissfully unaware of how her parents were feeling. Her parents, who after tomorrow, would officially be just that. For some reason, the two of you needed to have her close to you — the crib at the end of your bed wasn’t close enough. She was snug, cuddled up in between the two of you, her feet pressed against Luke’s bare stomach in the awkward position she had fallen asleep in.

“I can’t believe how far she’s come.” You murmured, ever so slightly tracing your finger down her nose and over her cheeks. She squirmed a little at the contact, her hand moving up to touch her face before she settled down again.

“I know,” Luke replied. “Remember when we were scared to even go near her whilst she was asleep? In case she woke up and got upset again.”

You nodded, realising how genuinely relieved you were that she had settled in so well. The nights where she had been inconsolable and wouldn’t sleep as well as pushing you and Luke away were so painful — you were sure you’d never forget them. As she slept soundly in between you both, it made you appreciate how grateful you were for how things had turned out.

“I love her so much.” You whispered, moving a little closer to Luke and resting your head on his shoulder. Even though your lives had changed so much, and you no longer had time for the several date nights you tried to go on every month — your connection to him had never been stronger. The struggles had brought you closer together. “And I love you.”

“I love you too, gorgeous.” He replied, kissing the crown of your head. “Whatever happens, we have each other, right?”

“Always.”

***

“Okay,” You, Luke and Sarah were about to hear the words you had waited a long time to hear. “Looking at everything we have here… it’s safe to say that Isabella has settled into your family very well. Congratulations to you both, you officially are her legal parents.”

You clasped your hand over your mouth to conceal an excited squeal, trying to contain your emotions until you left the courtroom.

Isabella Hemmings.

Sarah was the first to leave the room, after thanking the judge — you and Luke being quick to follow. You couldn’t stop the tears from slipping down your cheeks as Luke wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a tight hug. A hug that displayed all of the emotions you had felt ever since deciding you were going to adopt. It had been a rollercoaster of happiness, sadness, uncertainty, but mostly — overwhelming joy. Every emotion had lead to this moment.

“We did it.” You sobbed into his shoulder, not wanting to let go of him.

“Congratulations, you two!” Sarah pulled you both into tight hugs, trying to hold back her own tears. “I know it’s been a long, difficult process but we got here eventually. I could not have hoped for a more loving family for Bella to go to, and I know she’s going to be very happy with you both.”

“Thank you so much for everything.” Luke didn’t know how to show his gratitude. Sarah truly had changed your lives, and her support had gotten you both through the process. “I don’t know how to tell you how appreciative we are. Thank you for bringing her into our lives.”

It was then you heard Bella’s happy squeals.

“Look who’s back, Bella!” Michael exclaimed, trying to keep a hold on her as she squirmed excitedly in his arms. Harper stayed close to her dad, one small hand holding his larger one for reassurance in the unfamiliar surroundings. The court had been daunting for you all, and with not being able to take Bella in with you both — Michael had offered to watch her and to tag along for moral support. Bella had grown attached to Harper and was more than happy to play with her whilst you went through the legal proceedings.

“There’s our sweet girl.” Luke held his arms out and took her from Michael, holding her flush against his chest as he cuddled his daughter. She had been his daughter ever since she was allowed to go home with you both, but now, it was official.

“So I’m guessing everything went well?” Michael asked, already knowing the answer by the elated expression on yours and Luke’s faces.

You nodded, your hand going to cover your face once more as you composed yourself.

“Come here.” Michael chuckled as he pulled you into a warm hug. “I’m so happy for you both. You’re already the best parents to her, she adores you. She’s an angel and you’re going to do the best job at raising her.”

“Thank you, Mike.” You knew he truly was so happy about the situation. You knew he was worried about Luke, when your future as a family was full of uncertainty — all of the guys did, and now, they no longer had to. Your family was finally complete.

“Now, miss Isabella Hemmings,” Luke cooed, tapping her nose to make her giggle as she looked up at him. “Shall we get you home?”

Home. A place that now had a completely different meaning — one that Bella could call her own. When you first met her, she needed you, she needed a home, parents to love her like she deserved to be loved — but little did she know, it was you and Luke who needed her just as much.

Isabella Hemmings.

***

I would really really appreciate it if you could let me know your thoughts on this fic! I worked very hard on it and would appreciate any feedback you have <3 thank you so much for reading and making it this far!

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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

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About all the stuff you were talking about, do you know any fics that handle those things well? It is exhausting trying to go through the Dick Grayson tag to try and find ones that handle even one of those remotely well so any you can tell me would be wonderful.

I use my Bookmarks page as a go-to for people looking for that sorta thing. I haven’t added to it in awhlie which is like, a useful reminder for myself to rectify that.

I’m not sure off the top of my head what fics on there address these particular areas of canon or fanon issues, but they’re in there, and I don’t bookmark anything I wouldn’t reread since that’s....the only reason I bookmark stuff lol. Aka nothing that contains elements or fanon tropes/issues that would’ve pulled me out of the read on the first go-through.

Specific authors who I consistently like for their takes on all of that, hmmm....off the top of my head, @dustorange only deals in Quality Stuff and her Hierarchy of Needs for Dick’s characterization has similar enough rankings to my own personal one, that I’m always like, yes, this hit all the beats I was hoping for from this summary, I am full, I could not eat another bite. But maybe a dessert course later. I guess. If you insist.

In terms of specific takes and tropes I’ve been talking about tonight, @themessofthecentury has a fic that delves into all the Spyral aftermath in a really satisfying way. Y’ever been like, ugh can someone please write a lengthy beast of a multi-chapter that takes all of that and says ‘Lo, there is Gold in these hills” and has a range of POVs but that all consistently prioritize and center Dick in the areas and matters he should be the one prioritized? That’s the one, that’s Fault Lines, its a WIP but its alive and kicking and very much what you’re looking for to read something actually catharctic after the way all of that was handled in canon and most related fics.

Umm, lessee.... @hood-ex is all about Top Notch Tropes, especially for great scenes where Dick’s with a wide range of characters, and its like, casual slice-of-life stuff, but delivered in a way that Just Says No to fanon and even when writing Dick as light-hearted and having a good day, its like...actually in character for him and he’s not Dick Grayson, The Balloon Animal That Walks Like A Man (but is actually 70% sugary cereal). You gotta follow her on tumblr though to get all the fics, cuz she’s like me in that she writes a lot of done-in-one scenes that never get moved over to Ao3 because eh, we’ll do it tomorrow but also we’ll forget about it by tonight so no actually we won’t. And thus there’s a lot of hidden gems to be found there.

@ckbookish writes a lot of stuff set in the early Nightwing days when Jason was Robin, and from what I’ve read there’s a lot of focus on Dick and Jason bonding and also exploration of Dick’s thoughts and reactions to Bruce’s “Bruce NO” behavior of that era that’s very much in character and IMO hits all the right notes in the complicated arrangement of allowing Dick his Feels there and placing the appropriate blame where appropriate but without demonizing Bruce and over-embellishing the more than enough to work with fuck-ups canon helpfully provided for that era.

In fact, in general I’m inclined to say the author sticks as closely to canon as possible while just....making it better by just adding the little ingredient that is ‘Actual Exploration of Dick’s Feelings and Choices As Viewed Through Empathy-Colored Glasses By Someone Who I Feel Actually HAS Met or Been A Teenager At Some Point in Their Life and Thus Is Aware They’re Not Actually Unreasonable Wild Animals Whose Behavior Even When Rational Is Actually Irrational Cuz Hormones Yeah I Know I Was Surprised Too’. So I’d say their work consistenly delivers the story and emotional beats I look for from Bruce, Dick and Jason in that era, actually humanizing all three of them without going overboard with adding flaws all willy-nilly just cuz.

The only reason its not on my bookmarks page is cuz unfortunately, the sticking close to canon means Dick joining the Bludhaven police force to try and clean it up from the inside, and like.....not a criticism or condemnation of the execution of that premise at all, like, Dick’s clear in his reasons and from what I read goes about it in a way that actually fits if Dick had criticisms of the institution as a whole and an earnest belief he can effect change to it from the inside, its just like, purely as a personal subjectivity thing, Dick Grayson and Being a Cop is like my ultimate NOTP, I see it and I reflexively hiss like a vampire who forgot the sun was a thing. Its just not for me in any execution, but if that’s not true for you then its got everything else I’d look for in fic and thus while I can’t vouch for his characterization or the dynamics in later stories, like, I’m pretty sure you’d still be in Primo Characterization territory.

There’s stuff on my bookmarks page from an author named discowing(amelia from a fairytale) - something like that. I can’t recall their tumblr off the top of my head but I know she says it somewhere in some of her author’s notes. Anyway, her stuff runs the gamut but consistently delivers on moments I really wish we could see in canon, so def worth a read. And I know her views on the Spyral aftermath and what’s needed for actual catharsis there are right in my wheelhouse, just in general, so if that’s the barometer you’re going by, then like.....idk whatever a barometer says or does when it gets the readings its supposed to, look its late, that’s the metaphor I’m going with, just pretend it was solid.

Those are just some of the authors where I’m familiar with more than one of their works off the top of my head and tend to like their focus and narrative/character choices across the board. I don’t know the full extent of work of every author linked on my Bookmarks page, like a lot of people write a lot of fic in a lot of fandom and I see a long list of fandoms and fics all organized by date posted so its more like one DC fic per page, and my ADHD self is like hahaha what if it was naptime tho zzzz.

But yeah, that’s not nearly enough to sate my greed and want for Good Dick Grayson Takes but it should get you started. There’s some good stuff out there, that’s never been in question, its just that like you said, it can be exhausting trying to wade through fics that you can’t tell at a glance if they’d be to your liking or not because the tags are all complimentary of Dick but two chapters in you’re like wait is this the other kids’ brother or is this their nanny, I feel like I’m reading about what if Fran Drescher wore tights and fought crime with flippity-flips. Which I mean, that’s a Premise right there, alright, its just not remotely the premise I look for out of fic where I have the weird expectation that Dick should be treated and regarded more like equal family to his siblings than like, okay what if he was actually just an au pair that was mostly hired to be eye candy.

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assembledherethevolunteers · 4 years ago

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A Very Johnica Christmas

A/N: Surprise @eileen-crys !! I am your Secret Santa for the Get Down, Give Joy Gift Exchange! I really hope you enjoy this and I hope that you have a very happy holidays! Special thanks to @warriorteam1924 and @thosequeenboys

Pairing: John Deacon x Veronica Tetzlaff

Summary: John and Veronica are getting ready for the holidays, but something might get in the way of that.

Warnings: Fluff, A Bit of Anxiety, Pregnancy, and Mentions/Implications of Sexy Times (but nothing explicit)

Taglist: @queenlover05 @theblossomknows

John sat down at the dining table in the small flat and looked over the song sheets one more time, trying to decide if he really wanted to give it to the band for the album.

“John, what are you doing?” Veronica asked from the kitchen as she continued making dinner. He’d been unusually quiet today. She wasn’t sure what was going through his head.

“Just working on a song,” John replied, not looking up at her.

“Can I read it?”

John’s eyes traveled to her, trying to decide if he really wanted her to read it. “I think I might make you wait with the rest of the world.”

Veronica pouted at him. “Well what good is being engaged to a world famous musician if I don’t get sneak peeks of things?”

John chuckled and Veronica tried to hold her pout, but that laugh always got her.

“World famous? Not sure we’re there yet, love.”

“Maybe not, but I think you will. Especially if Fred and Roger have anything to do with it.” Veronica checked one of her pots on the stove. “Are you ready to eat?”

Later, John was getting ready to leave, giving Veronica a chaste kiss.

“Sure you won’t let me read the song?” Veronica tried one more time, running one of her fingers down the zipper of his coat.

John grabbed her hand and pulled up, gently gilding his lips across her knuckles. “Sure you won’t let me spend the night?”

Veronica giggled. “Not tonight. I’m very tired. And you need to be at the studio in the morning.”

“I can be late. Freddie’s always late,” John’s lips continued up her arm.

“John,” Veronica whined. “Go. I’ve got to work in the morning.”

John pulled back with a wide smile. “Alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Hm…I may have another date but I may be able to squeeze you in while I’m decorating the flat for Christmas.”

“I’ll take what I can get,” John pulled Veronica in for another kiss before he reluctantly left.

Veronica watched him go, arguing with herself about whether to call out to him and have him spend the night. It wouldn’t be the first time and wouldn’t be the last.

She decided against it and went back inside to get ready for bed.

The next morning, Veronica started getting ready for work. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she wasn’t feeling very well. Probably just something to do with the time of year. It was winter and didn’t everybody feel a bit worse around this time?

“Veronica, don’t take this wrong way,” Laura, one of her coworkers, said the next morning.

“Great way to start a conversation,” Veronica rolled her eyes. She liked Laura, she just could be a bit much sometimes.

“You just…um…you look a little…different.”

Veronica frowned. She already didn’t like where this was going.

“Different how?”

Laura looked around, as if somebody might be able to help her, but nobody did.

“You’re tired, and you just…that shirt seems a bit…tighter.”

Veronica glanced down at her shirt. It wasn’t like it was unreasonably tight or anything. Maybe she had put on a few pounds here and there, but it wasn’t like she had gained an unnaturally amount in a short period.

It was the holidays after all and the additional stress of planning a wedding meant she may not have been eating as well as she usually would. It was a bit rude to say something pointing it out. After all, Veronica hadn’t mentioned all the times Laura had come to work noticeably hungover.

“Well, thank you for your concern, Laura, but if you don’t mind I’ll be getting back to work now.” Veronica grabbed some paperwork that may or may not have actually needed to be taken away, but needed a reason to get out of the conversation before she said something she would regret.

Veronica was sitting on the floor, pulling things out of boxes when John walked into the flat with some take away.

“Hello, gorgeous,” John called to her.

Veronica hummed in acknowledgement, working on a stubborn string of lights that just would. Not. Untangle.

“How was your day?” John placed the bag of food on the table and started to unpack.

“Oh fine, had to go down to the creepy basement to get this box,” Veronica kicked it from her spot on the couch. “And one of the kids stained one of my favorite skirts.”

“A full day,” John brought over a plate of food full of Veronica’s favorite.

She smiled and took the plate from John before he went to make his own.

“How was the studio?” Veronica took a bite of her food, not realizing how hungry she’d been.

“Well, all four of us are still alive, so there’s that.”

“Always a plus,” Veronica smiled as John walked over and sat next to her.

The two of them continued catching up with each others day. Veronica stood up and went into the bathroom.

She glanced at herself in full length mirror and realized that she did seem to have gained a little weight. She hadn’t really noticed,but now looking at herself in the mirror, she could see it.

“John?” Veronica came out of the bathroom to find him unwrapping some ornaments.

“Yes, love?”

“Do you think I’ve gained weight?”

“Of course not, darling. You’re perfect,” John replied, not taking his eyes off the ornament in his hands.

Veronica rolled her eyes. “You didn’t even look at me.”

“I don’t have to. You look incredible, my bride-to-be.”

Veronica knew how to get his attention. She looked down at her her chest. “Really? Because it seems even my breasts have gotten bigger.”

John’s head whipped around and he then looked Veronica over.

“Made you look,” Veronica smirked. “But seriously, Laura made some comment that I’ve gained weight and I don’t know if I disagree with her.”

John stood up and walked over to her, looking her up and down as he did.

But Veronica couldn’t stop talking.

“...and if I gain too much weight I won’t be able to fit in my wedding dress and you won’t have a beautiful bride and,” Veronica’s vision started to swim.

“Ronnie,” John took her hands, pulling her left hand up to their eye level. “What is this?”

Veronica frowned, not sure what John was talking about.

“Come on, sweetheart,” John kept his voice gentle, trying to coax an answer out of her.

“My engagement ring?”

“And do you know why I gave you this?”

“Because you want to marry me?”

“Exactly,” John pressed a kiss to her knuckle just in front of her ring. “And I will want to marry you whether you’re as big as a house or if you shrink down to a tiny little thing that I can put in my pocket.”

Veronica smiled and shook her head. The tears were gone as soon as they appeared. She knew that John wouldn’t have cared how she looked. “If I can fit in your pocket, huh? I don’t know if I’d fit in those tight trousers of yours.” Veronica slid her arms around John’s neck.

“I’ve never heard you complain about my tight trousers before,” John smiled, happy that Veronica was no longer upset.

“Oh I’m not complaining about them now,” Veronica gave John a kiss.

The next few hours, the two set up the flat so that it was a Christmas wonderland.

John finally left around midnight, because Veronica was just exhausted.

Veronica got ready for bed and started to let her mind wander.

She had been feeling extremely tired lately, and she had gained weight (she may not have noticed and it was rude for Laura to say something, but she was right). Now she was thinking about the last time she’d had her period. She counted back and seemingly couldn’t come up with a time after October.

There was no way. That didn’t seem right. She’d had her period in November, surely. And it was only mid-December so she had time still.

However, maybe it would be better if she just made an appointment. That would be a good idea. She didn’t have to work the next day, so maybe she could call her gynecologist.

The next morning, Veronica went to her OB/GYN’s office. She was nervous. If she was pregnant, her parents would be furious. They were under the impression that John and Veronica were waiting until marriage. Would she be able to hide it until the wedding? If her calculations were right, she’d be nearly three months along by the time they got married.

“Miss Tetzlaff?” The nurse’s voice called.

Veronica looked up and made her way over. “Good morning,” Veronica’s voice shook slightly.

The nurse gave her a calming smile, which made Veronica relax a bit. “Follow me.”

Veronica and the nurse made their way to an exam room.

“So, what brings you in today, love?”

“Well, I…um…this is a bit embarrassing, but I’ve just realized that I haven’t had my period for a couple months.”

The nurse nodded, making a note on her clipboard. She then asked a couple more questions that Veronica answered.

“Alright, love,” the nurse smiled at Veronica. “Doctor will be in soon. Get yourself comfortable on the table there.”

“Thank you.”

Veronica got up on the table and waited for the doctor to come in. She was nervous. What if John didn’t want the baby? Yes, they’d talk about having children, but so soon? And their parents would be surprised, if not disappointed.

Veronica’s mind was whirling so fast that she didn’t even hear the doctor come in.

“Miss Tetzlaff? Are you alright?”

“Hm?” Veronica looked up to the doctor.

The doctor gave her a smile similar to the one the nurse had in the lobby. “Just asked how you were doing.”

“Oh, I’m…well, nervous if I’m being honest.”

“Nothing wrong with that, love. Now, why don’t we get started?”

The doctor made some small talk with the doctor as she did her job. It was little uncomfortable, but Veronica needed to know what was going on.

“Alright!” The doctor pulled up and gave Veronica a triumphant smile. “Well, everything looks good and healthy, but we won’t know anything for sure until we get the results in a day or two.”

“Do you have a guess?”

The doctor lifted one eye brow. “Do you really want me to guess?”

Veronica sighed and shook her head. “I suppose not.”

“We will give you a call tomorrow or the day after and let you know either way. In the meantime, relax, get some rest.”

Veronica nodded. “Thank you, Doctor.”

The next day, Veronica couldn’t focus on anything other than her results. She was okay when John decided not to come over after the studio that night because she wasn’t sure if she could keep if a secret from him, even if she wasn’t 100% yet. She tried to sit down and relax but couldn’t do that so she deiced to go for a walk, but even being outside didn’t help.

Veronica came back inside, hearing her phone ring. She ran over and grabbed the phone as quickly as she could.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Miss Tetzlaff?”

“Yes, this is her.”

“Hi, this is Doctor Wes. Are you available to talk?”

“I am.”

“Well, Miss Tetzlaff, I’ve got your results and let me be the first to say, congratulations. You are pregnant.”

It sounded like wind was howling in Veronica’s ears. She knew that Doctor Wes was still talking, but she wasn’t retaining any of it.

“...another appointment some time next week. When’s a time that works for you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“We’ll need to make another appointment for you so that we can do a little bit more of an in depth appointment. We can figure out how far along you are, what to expect, all those conversations. And you’re more than welcome to bring your partner.”

“My partner…” Veronica nearly dropped the phone. She now had to tell John. There was no way that she could hide something like this from him.

“Miss Tetzlaff?”

“Yes, sorry, um…what times do you have available?”

Veronica made an appointment for December 23rd since it was the next available time. And on Christmas Eve, she and John would be celebrating their own Christmas in the early afternoon, so maybe the two of them could have serious conversation about it then.

Until then, Veronica would keep it to herself. John would be busy with the album since the band wanted to get as much done as they could before the holidays, so the two of them didn’t have very many plans until Christmas Eve.

Maybe she could surprise him…

The 23rd, Veronica went to her appointment and found out how far along she was and when she was due (mid-July).

“So, we’ll want to see you once every three weeks or so, just to make sure that everything is still going alright. Is that okay with you?”

Veronica nodded, still trying to completely warp her head around the fact that she was going to be a mother. She and the doctor made an appointment that she knew John would be able to come to. If he wanted.

But what if he didn’t?

Veronica ran through all the possible scenarios that could happen when she told John. Would he be happy? Excited? Would he be annoyed that they hadn’t been careful enough?

Would he leave her?

They could talk about it tomorrow. And if that’s truly what John wanted…well, she supposed she would have to deal with that.

Veronica was walking by a store when she noticed something that caught her eye. She debated with herself before deciding to go in and grab it. If John saw this, maybe he’d decide to stay.

The next morning, Veronica was trying to act like it was a normal day. Well, a normal Christmas Eve.

She started with making herself some breakfast and a pot of tea. John was supposed to be coming over around noon, so she had a little bit of time. She took a shower, paying attention to her midsection, realizing that it really had grown.

Once she was done, she got dressed and then waited. There was nothing more to do. The flat was decorated. There was no food to make because they were just going to have something small before having a bigger meal at her parents’ house before Mass.

With nothing to do but wait, Veronica couldn’t sit. She paced around the apartment, trying to figure out how to tell John the news. Just blurt it out? Give him the gift and see how he reacts? There weren’t really any good options in her eyes.

“Happy Christmas, my love!” John announced himself as he walked into the flat.

Veronica looked up at him from her spot on the couch and did her best to smile.

“What? No kiss?” John pouted at her.

“John, why don’t you come sit down?”

John’s face went from a pout to a frown. “Ronnie, are you alright?”

Veronica just scoot over on the couch so that there was room for him. John hesitated for a moment, but came over and sat next to her.

“I…I want you to open your present.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Alright?”

Veronica got up, grabbed John’s present from under the tree, and handed it to him. It was box, wrapped in green paper.

“Do you want yours?” John asked.

“I’d rather you just open yours now.”

John frowned again, but didn’t ask again. He slowly unwrapped the box and opened it. Inside was a baby onesie with a bass guitars all over it and some papers. John looked at the onesie and chuckled at it a bit. Veronica was surprised that he didn’t put it together there. But that’s why she included the papers.

“What are these?” John asked, holding them up.

“Read them.”

Veronica watched as John read the papers. She watched his eyes widen when (she assumes) he read the word ‘Pregnant’.

“Pregnant?” John whispered, nearly mouthing the word. He then looked over to her. “Y…you’re pregnant?”

Veronica nodded and watched all the color drain out of John’s face.

“A…and…I…that means…I’m going to be a father?”

Veronica nodded, still waiting for John to react.

John’s eyes filled with tears and he broke into a face splitting grin. “We’re going to have a baby.” John wrapped his arms around Veronica and basically pulled her into his lap. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, pressing kisses where ever he could reach.

“Y…you’re not mad?”

“Mad?” John pulled back so that he could look at her. John put his hand on her cheek, wiping away tears.

When had she teared up, let alone let them fall?

“Oh, Ronnie, how could I be mad? We’re going to be married and already starting on our family. I couldn’t imagine anything better!”

Veronica didn’t know what she was expecting, but it wasn’t exactly this.

“Are you not happy?” John asked her, now concerned himself.

Veronica honestly hadn’t let herself have feelings about the situation. But now that she knew John was happy, not only happy but excited, she could be as well. And she let herself feel it. She let the anticipation of being a mother wash over her. She allowed herself to imagine her and John’s child and they were beautiful. She imagined their soon to be life and it was beautiful.

“John,” her voice came out hoarse, but she couldn’t help it. She knew she was on the verge of tears. “I’m ecstatic.”

John grinned again before pulling her in for a kiss. “This is the best possible Christmas gift I could have ever gotten. Thank you, thank you so so much.”

Veronica cupped John’s face in her hands. “You helped a bit, you know.”

“I suppose so, but,” John put one of his hands on her stomach. “You’re going to be doing so much more than I am,” John’s hand gently rubbed Veronica’s stomach with his thumb. “And you’re going to be the best mother there is. I just know it.” John looked up at Veronica again, the smile never leaving his face.

“And you’re going to be a wonderful father, John.”

John gave Veronica a lopsided smile. Veronica burrowed herself deeper into John’s arms, resting her head on John’s shoulder. John placed his cheek to her temple.

John and Veronica sat in quiet for a few moments, just holding each other.

“It’s snowing,” Veronica noticed.

John lifted his head and looked out the window. “So it is.”

They watched as the snow drift down to the London streets.

“Merry Christmas, my love,” John whispered before pressing a kiss to Veronica’s hair.

Veronica hummed, happy and content, with her soon-to-be husband and child.

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