#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't

[babyjinsu]

son-in-law

pairing ; husband!anton x fem!reader || wc ; 2.5k

warning ; manipulation, gaslighting, anton is a bad son-in-law, slight angst if you squint, death, might be missing more honestly but nothing nsfw...

there’s something about their son-in-law. they’re sure of it.

they don’t have the proof yet, but… a parents’ intuition is never wrong. 

when you first introduced your boyfriend to them, he was almost too perfect. not to say you couldn’t bag someone like him, no—you’re their perfect, golden child. but your boyfriend… he smiled so sweetly it almost seemed forced. the way he pulled out the chair and complimented her garden like he’d grown up tending roses and lilies himself—it was all just a little too smooth. too studied.

you’ve had a few boyfriends before. your parents hated them all—loud boys with foul mouths and bad manners—but their flaws were honest. this one was like a mask fitted to your dreams.

“anton,” he said, extending his hand across the dining table. his voice was soft and polite.

your father shook it with a glance he thought you didn’t catch, but his wife did. she brushed it off as she served the meat, but from that first dinner, the house felt different whenever he came. 

she couldn’t explain it but—somehow, the air got thinner, and the house got colder. the way anton looked at you when you watched the television, or when you’re playing with the housecat—it was not out of genuine love. more like a prize. a claim. a stake. 

“what do you think?” you hummed, letting out a shy, flustered giggle. “he’s nice, isn’t he?” you said afterward, washing the dishes with a dreamy smile. you never liked washing dishes.

your mother just watched you with furrowed brows and hands damp with dishwater, a tight feeling bloomed in her chest. she didn’t say anything, just nodding her head in reply as she switched the topic—can you put this back in the drawer? 

maybe because of the way you looked around anton—that your parents never had the chance, or the heart to tell you what they really felt about your boyfriend. 

you’d always been headstrong, but never stupid. but with anton—your mother saw how you leaned into him like your body didn’t know how to stand without his arm around your waist. it wasn’t just love. it was dependence. it was devotion. 

so they bit their tongue, hard. how could they said it? how could they risk becoming those kind of parents when you so clearly thought you’d found your forever? 

and when your father said carefully, “there’s something about his silence that makes me a little nervous, sweetheart,” you laughed, covering your mouth and shaking your head like it’s funny. “pa, you always need someone to challenge you, don’t you?”

or when your mother asked, “honey, why did mrs. jung saw anton’s car outside of our house at three in the morning?” you looked at her like she’s weird, “mrs. jung’s like… 90. does she even know what anton’s car looks like?”

that was the last time they brought it up. 

still, you got married. their daughter was glowing in your dress, big bouquet in your hands, and a shiny, heavy diamond ring around your finger. anton looked at you like salvation. 

your father gave you a toast that night that sounded more like a warning. “our sweetheart has a good heart,” he said, voice tight around the edges. “i hope it’s never taken for granted.”

anton smiled, sipping on his champagne. but his eyes didn’t.

your mother wanted to try again after the wedding, but you were already moving out. 

and anton was so helpful—packing boxes before anyone else woke up, putting them in the backseat of his car, making lists in that neat, perfect, handwriting of his. 

he handled your life like he’d already lived it. 

——

“channie?”

you brushed your fingers through his damp air, still tousled from the shower. he turned from the mirror slowly, towel around his neck with water dripping onto the bathroom tile. 

“mm?” 

“ is it okay if ma and pa stayed with us for a few weeks?” you smiled.

he blinked, wiping his neck with the towel. “stayed?”

you nodded. “yeah. there’s a leakage at the house. a burst pipe or something… pa tried fixing it himself but it’s under the floorboards now. they called the plumber but he said it might take a while, so i offered.” you shrugged, giving him a cheeky smile. 

anton didn’t answer right away. he moved to the sink and started drying his face with the towel like he hadn’t heard you. 

“they could stay in the guest room,” you continued. “just for a bit. i feel bad when they said they could stay over auntie’s for the time being.”

anton dropped the towel over the counter and looked at you through the mirror. he wasn’t smiling, but he was calm. “of course,” he said, a second too long. “they’re my parents too.”

you smiled in relief and wrapped your arms around his bare waist, your cheek pressed against his damp back. “thank you baby. i know they can be a little—”

“they can stay,” he interrupted, gently. “i’ll move things out of the room tomorrow.”

“oh, you’re the best. i know you’d understand.” 

he touched your hands, resting over his stomach. “i’ll call other plumbers for them. maybe they forgot to check the water heater. easy to miss if they’re not paying attention.” he smiled, turning to kiss the top of your head.

there was something strange in the way he said it, but you didn’t catch it. too happy and busy thinking about the preparations to greet your parents when they stayed over. 

later that night, after you’d fallen asleep—anton sat in the dark of the living room, staring at the hallway leading to the guest room. it hadn't been used ever since they moved. 

but now it would be. 

and he’d have to pretend again. smile again. wait again. 

he flexed his fingers. two weeks. maybe three—if they’re shameless.

he could manage. for you.

——

the first three days were normal.

anton would come home from work one hour earlier than you, which meant he’d have to be alone with your parents from around four to five every evening.

you didn’t think much of it. you didn’t think it’d be a problem at all. they’d all be in the living room, maybe your dad reading on the recliner while your mom chatting in the kitchen while anton made tea for them.

but by the fourth evening, something shifted.

your mother was quieter when you got home. her smile was tight-lipped and brief and she barely touched the dinner anton made. she excused herself early and went to the guest room with a mug you hadn’t seen her fill.

when you peeked in an hour after freshening up, she was already in bed, lights off.

your father began misplacing things. first his reading glasses. then his phone. then his wallet. then strangely, the leather pouch he kept his medicines in. “must be my age,” he joked, but you didn’t laugh. anton did. 

“maybe you’re just not used to the space yet…” you said, soothing his back to comfort him. “new house and all…” anton stood behind you at the time, his hand on your shoulder. “i can start labeling the drawers, if it helps you, pa.” 

your dad gave him a smile. “no, that’s alright. i’ll manage.”

that night, when you and anton got into bed, you turned to him. “thanks for being so patient with them… i hope it’s not too stressful…” 

anton brushed a hand through your hair, murmuring, “it’s fine, love. it’s only temporary.” he kissed your forehead. 

by the sixth day, anton came home late. 

he was meeting an old friend after work—you’d been a little surprised. anton didn’t go out often. he was always home and always near.

sometimes you thought he didn’t like other people.

so it was just you and your parents that evening. the house felt a little lighter, as strange as it sounds. you had dinner together, your mother went for seconds. your father carried the conversation and cracked jokes over stew and rice.

“you know,” he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “i noticed something strange yesterday.”

you hummed, looking up from your bowl. 

“you have a little camera by the bookshelf.”

you blinked, nodding your head. “yeah. safety.”

your dad squinted his eyes at you. “safety?”

“yeah. you know, just in case? break-ins, or if we’re ever away.” you chuckled, eating your rice. “anton’s kind of paranoid about that kind of stuff.” 

your dad’s gaze didn’t waver. “but there aren’t any cameras outside. usually people put cctv cameras outside, right?”

you shrugged. “i think there used to be one,. but it broke.” you answered, now sipping on your soup. 

he frowned, shaking his head. he wanted to say more but his daughter didn’t seem bothered by it at all. instead, he just muttered a small mm, and stood up to get water. your mom didn’t say anything either. she just kept peeling the mandarins—every now and then, her eyes glanced at the camera in the living room.

when anton came back a few hours later, the three of you were lounging in the living room. “how’s dinner?” he asked, dropping his coat onto the rack and kissing your cheek. “everyone alive?” he joked.

your father didn’t laugh, but you did. nodding and smacking his forearm playfully. 

your father held his gaze. 

anton smiled wider.

—​​—​​

on saturday morning, your dad came into the kitchen to find anton already there. 

he was seated at the table, still in his pajamas, and sipping on his coffee. “morning,” he said, not bothered to look up from his phone as his thumb scrolled. 

your dad nodded and muttered a small morning in reply, then went to the cabinet to grab a mug. he reached for the top shelf, but the mug wasn’t there. not in another cabinet, or the other. 

“you reorganised the kitchen,” he said. anton smiled, his eyes still on his screen, “yeah.”

your father turned to look at him. “why?”

“thought it’d be easier. you kept forgetting where things were.”

there was a pause. 

“i didn’t forget,” your dad replied evenly. “i just don’t live here.”

anton tilted his head, finally glancing up. “yeah, exactly,” he stood, slowly, and walked to the sink, placing his cup down right beside your father’s unwashed one from last night. “i asked my friend who’s a plumber to take a look at your place,” anton said, rinsing his mug under the tap. the water hissed between them. “he said the leak shouldn’t take more than a day to fix.”

your father nodded. “that’s nice. the one i usually called said—”

the son-in-law interrupted, turning slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching like he was holding back a smile. “mhm. it’s odd they didn’t start the repair yet. it’s almost like… someone didn’t want it fixed right away.” 

he turned the faucet off and looked at your father, full now. the silence stretched. 

“but that’s alright. once they’ve fixed it, you can go back. you’ll be more comfortable at your home anyway, won’t you?” he smiled again, with teeth this time. nothing kind behind the way he said it, or his expression.

your dad didn’t answer. he watched as anton neatly folded the damp dish towel and draped it over the sink’s edge. like… like this was his kitchen, his house, his life, his wife, and there was no space for another. let alone, two. 

anton stepped back, nodding as if something had just been confirmed for him. “i’ll follow up with him again. maybe he can get started on it tomorrow. i just want to make sure you two aren’t stuck here longer than you have to be.” 

there was a moment where your dad almost said something. 

but anton reached for a clean cup and placed it on the cabinet with a soft thud. a small twitch in his eye. “enjoy your coffee.”

—​​—​​

when you got home that monday evening, your parents were no longer there. 

no texts, no calls, no nothing. just gone.

you stood in the hallway for a moment, keys still dangling from your fingers. you had expected to see your dad in the living room, and your mom tending your garden. but no. 

you went to the guest room, staring at the door slightly ajar, bed made too neatly. 

“channie?” you called.

“kitchen, pretty!” he replied, cheerfully. 

you walked in to find him standing by the stove, his sleeves rolled up (he hadn’t changed), a wine glass already poured for you on the counter. anton turned his head slightly to look at you and smiled softly. “why don’t you take a shower first?”

“where are they?” you asked. 

he stirred the gravy in the pan, then turned the heat low. “they went home. the pipe’s are all fixed.” 

you blinked, tilting your head slightly. “they didn’t even say goodbye?”

your husband dried his hands and came to you, pressing a kiss to your temple sweetly. “maybe they forgot,” he murmured, his lips warm against your skin. “you know how your dad is when he’s in a rush. they’re just excited to go back home.”

you frowned. “i helped them pack.” he smiled as he returned to the stove, giving the gravy a final stir. you hesitated. something didn’t feel right, but it wasn’t a big of a deal. 

anton walked past you to set two plates on the table—your favourite dish, perfectly and beautifully plated. a candle already lit. he pulled your chair out with a little flourish. “why worry? i paid for the repair and drove them back if you’re worried about that.” he let out a soft chuckle. 

you sat, anton across you. like usual. 

“i thought we could celebrate.” 

“celebrate what?”

he leaned in, eyes locked on yours. “just the two of us again.”

——

five days after your parents left your house, you received a phone call from an unknown number. 

your parents—gas leakage. home. carbon monoxide—

the words scattered in your mind like marbles rolling across the floor, impossible to catch. to stomach all information at once. 

“dead?” you repeated, not even realising you’d said it outloud.

the voice on the other end paused. then gently, “i’m so sorry. it looks like it happened overnight.”

you stared straight ahead at the dresser in front of the bed. 

anton walked out of the bathroom, towel draped over his neck. 

“channie, ma and pa…” you whispered, lips trembling as your eyes brimmed and pooled with tears. 

your husband’s eyes widened with perfect sorrow as he immediately walked towards you. anton wrapped his arms around your shaking body, took the phone from your limp hand, and ended the call for you. “oh, sweetheart…”

you buried your face into his shoulder, wetting his body with your hot tears. “they were just here,” you mumbled and hiccuped. “they were just here.” 

“i know,” anton whispered, lips pressed to your hair. “i know.” he held you tighter, rocked you in an attempt to comfort and slow down your sobs. “i’m here, sweetheart,” he mumbled, placing his hand on the back of your head. 

“i’m here.”

and as you cried, anton smiled ever so softly, it barely even touched the corners of his mouth. 

💭 i feel like i haven't written for so long... this is probably bad but i hope you guys enjoy nonetheless! i didn't want to get comfortable with not-writing.

[shannonsketches]

lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament

[pastelaeqy]

very generic swap AU for ava. Lots of yap below the cut where I talk about important changes and my thoughts about the differences between victim and Mitsi here.

couple important differences between her and victim

The big one is that she doesn't actually pursue revenge until she realises the guy who tortured her malewife would give her access to the guy who killed her malewife; before this, she basically has a big personality change, becomes a bit bitter, cold, managing with an iron fist etc and changes Rocket Corp's focus from general tech to arms/defence using blueprints victim had made.

unlike victim, who loses like 90% of his workforce and tanks the share prices, Mitsi instead sells to the gov because they are now obviously wanting some protection against terrorists. Whereas victim is too caught up in his own trauma to think of any other future for the company, Mitsi capitalises off the fear The Disappearance caused and quickly becomes the wealthiest figure in the entire Outernet. I think she’d be an absolutely terrifying boss using her old personality as more of a Customer Service mask. This would definitely be obvious though and I think it would make her more terrifying if anything 

As to how victim dies in the disappearance, my best guess is once people start disappearing from the party, he realises it’s to do with Newgrounds very quickly and he rushes over there with the rocket he fixed probably not long after he landed. He gets there, finds her, and saves her in a final moment of self sacrifice. I think this is a good setup because it puts Mitsi (and Agent) in the exact position Agent is in canon whilst also allowing Mitsi to see who the culprit was. I think it’s a good (temporary…) ending for victim as well, since he dies on his own terms rather than that of his creator’s

It's not until The Showdown that she realises she has a proper shot at getting revenge AND getting victim back; I'm certain victim has at least told her a little about how he was made, and she realises that she could totally get that revenge she's been craving for years whilst also convincing victim's creator to "make him again". Another big difference between victim and Mitsi here is that whilst victim quite obviously stews in his rage and grief for an extensive period of time (and quite frankly never actually has any real proof TCO and Alan are working together and simply just assumes that until he gets that showdown clip), Mitsi doesn’t let it show until she knows it’s actionable i.e. she has solid proof that going after TCO would give her access to Alan. 

Something else to add on here is that where victim is more or less using Mitsi’s death as an excuse for revenge, Mitsi is using her love for victim as a motivator. Because Mitsi simply doesn’t have the sort of background victim does (the disappearance is like THE traumatic event of her life rather than one of several), victim takes the emotional centre of her eventual desire for revenge. In canon, it’s pretty clear victim is more obsessed with getting revenge on Alan than getting revenge on TCO (still absolutely brutal towards TCO though, don’t get me wrong); his hatred for Alan/TCO outshines his love for Mitsi.

Big flaw here is that she doesn't really grasp how bad Alan was to victim; she’s so deadset on getting him back that she won’t stop and think “how might this actually be a bad thing”. I wouldn’t imagine he would be normal after being revived again and I think this would work as a good climactic point of conflict for like act 3. Where in canon there’s a good chance Mitsi will be revived no immediate consequences (thanks orange), victim would be redrawn the same way he had been all those years ago (and hence would not actually look like the victim Mitsi knew in the first place). A nice touch of “revived but came back wrong” to get Mitsi to hop off the revenge train. Another big aspect here is that victim would be like “what have you done to our company” much in the same way id assume Mitsi would in canon.

Overall I think the events we see in canon (other than the ones I have described) would play out about the same. I think it would be clearer that Rocket Corp. has a way bigger presence in the Outernet rather than being some weird creepy company that people vaguely remember as having a change in management some time after the disappearance. Mitsi would be probably more precise (and markedly less brutal) in capturing and extracting information from TCO because Mitsi doesn’t have the inferiority complex victim does. I think he’d still take a couple hits though, but Mitsi has no need to exemplify her control over TCO like victim does; she just needs to weaken him enough to make him talk.

That’s all i’ve really thought about so far. She’s spinning around in my mind like she’s in a microwave.

[ripplestitchskein]

Today I wanna rant talk about this

Versus

This

A lot, and I mean A LOT of people use these two moments as a way to compare Stolas and Blitzø with Fizz and Asmodeus. Specifically, Asmodeus with Stolas. And I get it, both Tiny Clown Imp with Giant Bird Aristocracy. Both dealing in different ways with the social hierarchy of hell. People keep using it as a “well Stolas HID while Asmodeus declared” and yes, that’s true but I don’t actually think we’re meant to be comparing Stolas and Asmodeus, at least not about this specific thing.

Blitzo doesn’t need someone to declare their love for him, he needs to declare his love for someone else.

People put the “Stolas is ashamed of Blitzo because of his station” on Stolas a lot and it is shown multiple times that it is not a factor for Stolas. He even like…sings about how it’s not an issue? Explicitly. The different stations was an issue for Asmodeus for awhile based on thier convos and the hiding. And it was for Fizz, though for different reasons I’ll get into in another post cause this is already going to be long as fuck. But this social hierarchy, famous person conflict is 100% Blitzo.

Blitzø is the only person who should be interpreting Stolas hiding his face as being because of the social disparity because that is a hangup of his. We, the audience, should know better because we’ve been shown the truth, or the reality of the situation in the scope of the show, MULTIPLE times. Blitzø is the one who harps on the class disparity, he’s the one who has the perception that Stolas is only looking for a fetishcentric fuck with the common rabble. The audience is supposed to see Blitzø’s reaction and know he is wrong, that this interpretation is because of one of his character flaws of feeling not good enough, and being compared to people, not because of the reality, because we have proof otherwise. Including the canon song where Stolas fucking says it outright.

There is a lot of talk about the “solution to Stolitz” being Stolas loudly and publicly declaring their relationship ala Asmodeus. But…Stolas already did his big public declaration at the BEGINNING way BEFORE Asmodeus. Stolas did it in The Circus flashback. He reinforced it at the Harvest Moon festival. He reinforced it at Ozzie’s.

His initial public declaration was following up a Imp leaving his bedroom in front of the Ars Goetia yelling “Sorry I fucked your husband” after a big aristocratic party by coming out well fucked and loudly screaming he was getting a FUCKing DIVORCE and ripping a banner in front of some of the most socially influential people in Hell. He then publicly thirsts over Blitzø at the Harvest Moon festival, multiple times and by name AND species. He takes Blitzo’s hand, and goes on a public romantic date with him, even reminding the doorman of who he was and who he was with and THEN when all eyes are still on them after the song at Ozzie’s, despite everything said, reaches out to him across the table and then gets up and leaves with him even taking his car home when he has the ability to just portal. No one who converses with him about Blitzø is left with any ambiguity that they are involved, not Stella, not Striker, not Octavia, he loudly declares he is into the imp to anyone who will listen, often in front of Blitzø, which he cringes away from and insists is just a transactional fucking.

The contrast to be drawn between Asmodeus making a public declaration shouldn’t be on Stolas but BLITZØ. He’s the one who needs to declare it, Stolas already has, repeatedly and out loud, and in public already.

Blitzø is the one who can’t say it out loud. He’s the one who shies away from conversations about it and dismisses it when anyone brings it up. He uses the excuses of social class and it being only for sex to justify his own inability to own it. There’s a reason all his exes are massively famous people who got famous after he destroyed the relationship. With Verosika it’s pretty clear she was super into him and he dipped. It’s not clear if it was because she was getting famous, that might be revealed, but the hints we have (her tattoo, his stealing her credit cards and disappearing) is that the end of that relationship was all Blitzø. When people find out he was in a relationship with her he is uncomfortable with the fact that she is famous, he goes out of his way to separate himself from her fame. Because people react exactly as he expected them to, incredulous someone famous could be into nobody Blitzø.

Somewhat ditto with Fizz, at least at first. Fizz was shown to be already pretty well known by the end of their friendship. Because of Blitzø’s self worth issues he doesn’t believe someone like Fizz could reciprocate his feelings, he sees him surrounded by people and doesn’t feel worthy to be one of them so he turns away and accidentally burns down a circus doing so. While a confession from Fizz first, if he felt the same way, might have prevented the catastrophe we have no way of knowing if Blitzø would have done the same thing to Fizz he did to Verosika and let his self worth issues eventually destroy their relationship too, especially after he signs on with Mammon. A big theme of their comments to each other before their reconciliation are about the disparity in fame, Fizz is also an imp so it’s not social class, but that Fizz is a beloved, famous figure and Blitzø failed at becoming one.

The Circus illustrates this so well, Blitzø is the failure who keeps trying his hardest and Fizz is the one who steps in and just kind of naturally does it. Blitzø’s dad makes no secret of the fact that Fizz is the more desired one. We also see Stolas appreciating Blitzø for who he is. Laughing against the crowd, just like during the sitcom taping, he doesn’t care about the public’s reaction to Blitzø, it doesn’t lessen Blitzø in his eyes at all.

We have also seen Blitzø be told very publicly a person loved him already as well and it STILL wasn’t what he needed. Verosika has it literally tattooed in a prominent place on her body, out there for everyone to see.

He doesn’t want a public declaration, he fears making one of his own and being compared to the one he declared for. “That guy is with THEM?!” It happens when Verosika steals his parking space and everyone realizes they dated, and it happens when the crazy fan goes after Fizz. People dismiss Blitzø in favor of the famous person he is with.

Hearing that, again, would invite the scrutiny that would just further validate that he’s not good enough, that he’s lesser and lower. That’s been his experience so far. Stolas declaring it would just put the spotlight on him once more, and I think it would actually make things worse for him mentally and emotionally. His reaction to Ozzie outing Stolas as his date to the crowd shows us this. I believe it’s why he split up with Verosika, the more famous she got the more eyes on him that could find him lacking. He’d be in the spotlight and his act wouldn’t be able to measure up to hers.

Just like at the circus with Fizz when they were kids, or during the sitcom, when eyes are on Blitzø he fails. Stolas gave him a bit more confidence each time. Not by loudly yelling “Hey, I like him!”to sway the audience, but just by quietly and genuinely laughing at his jokes and appreciating Blitzø for who he is. Stolas I think realizes this consciously, he sings it in Look My Way that the realm doesn’t appreciate what Blitzø is and because of this Blitzø built up walls around himself to protect from that lack of appreciation. Stolas tries to hype Blitzø up, he does so in the Harvest Moon Festival early on in their relationship but it makes Blitzø uncomfortable because the public declarations bring eyes to him. He has like….relationship stage fright in a sense. Imo the last thing Blitzø needs is another loud declaration.

Stolas though, he does NEED it. He has had one romantic partner publicly declare they don’t love him to all who will listen for like well over a decade, and now he needs a partner who will make it really really clear they do and I think preferably out loud where others can hear.

Stolas’s conflict and flaw is his family and his desire for reciprocal love. The shame of being an adulterer, of destroying the idealized family he strived for and the image he projected for so many years. And especially, the loneliness of his “romances” being one sided. With the exception of Octavia all of Stolas’s surrounding family and “friends” don’t give a fuck about him and he knows it. Why would Blitzø be any different? He also needs someone to choose him outside of a business or familial relationship. Stella was an arranged marriage to produce a heir. Blitzø was a sexual transaction for the grimoire. Octavia is his daughter. His relationship with his father shows that he isn’t special to him either. Paimon doesn’t even know his name. Stolas has no one declaring for him.

There’s a reason most of Stolas’s issues are told though “images”. The family portraits, the Sinstagram posts of Blitzø appearing annoyed or disinterested while Stolas does not see the picture Blitzø took, because that is his primary issue, he destroyed the image of himself he was trying to project for a chance at a reciprocal relationship. That image maintenance has nothing to do with Blitzø’s imp status, but more the public lack of perceived reciprocity in his romantic dealings.

He knows he looks like a fool, putting himself out there and not getting a confirmation back. This is why every problem Stolas had with his marriage seemed to come down not to attraction or status but mutual feeling. He doesn’t feel bad for cheating because Stella made it clear she didn’t care about him for him. Stella tells everyone loudly and publicly, even before Stolas cheated, how she feels about him. So as soon as Stolas can he jumps at the chance to say “HEY EVERYONE SOMEONE DOES LIKE ME! HE HAD SEX WITH ME AND EVERYTHING”and yelling out “THE ONLY MAN WHO CAN FUCK ME”. Flirting with Blitzø in front a crowd of people. He desperately wants to be publicly desired, to know he’s loved and for others to know he’s loved too.

I don’t think it matters to Stolas at all that who he cheated with was below him in terms of social hierarchy, or that people know about it, and he hasn’t ever indicated visually or with words that Blitzø being an imp was the root of those issues for him. Stella brings it up because she’s obsessed with status and EVERYONE KNOWS that her husband fucked an imp and is now divorcing her. Asmodeus brings it up because the entire Lust song at Ozzie’s is to distract the audience from his very real love affair with Fizz and maintain the public fiction that what he and Fizz have is just physical.

The whole social hierarchy issue is a deflection, and a misdirection.

This is further emphasized by the fact that Fizz and Asmodeus fucking isn’t even really an issue? People seemed to know they were fucking, like them being walked in on at breakfast and loudly declaring “ we are just banging, we are not in love”. The social hierarchy conflict as an external factor kind of falls apart on that alone but let’s move on. It’s not 100% clear if people outside of the household knew about Fizz and Asmodeus so we can maybe assume the public at large did not. But higher level demons being in a relationship with lower level ones doesn’t appear to be an issue? Like most of the powerful demons we see are actually in relationships with someone from a lower class. Even Mammon surrounds himself with imps and relies on one for his business.

Blitzø sure as fuck brings it up as a justification for why he’s not good enough. But Stolas doesn’t.

He’s even been shown visually and deliberately as forgetting that it’s even a factor, starting with his bowing to Blitzø as a baby owl and then again as an adult. So the comparison of these two moments as being about shame regarding social status for Stolas doesn’t make any sense to me. I don’t think it’s about social status at all really. I think that’s the excuse Blitzø uses to push people away and that’s just as much about social status as it is their fame. I’m not saying it’s not a larger theme of the show, but I think in this instance and for Stolitz it’s a distraction from the larger issues Blitzø has.

Stolas doesn’t need to publicly declare their relationship for an audience to solve their relationship issues because he already did, and I think we’ll see that the reason it’s such a huge plot point for Asmodeus and Fizz (beyond it being tied to their specific roles in Hell as the King of Lust and a public figure) is that it needled to be removed as an obstacle in BLITZØ’S mind.

Blitzø was the one present to witness the public declaration between Asmodeus and Fizz at the competition, not Stolas. If the comparison was between Stolas’s behavior and Asmodeus’s he would BE there, we, the audience, would have him there to connect that conflict in our mind as being rooted in Stolas. But he isn’t, because that conflict is 100% Blitzø. He won’t be able to use the imp versus demon thing as an excuse anymore as there is a very public example of someone even higher than Stolas loving an imp that he personally knows. Not only that but we see no indication in the episodes after Ozzie’s that there was ANY fallout for Stolas or Blitzø having their relationship outted so publicly. We see a big press todo about Stolas going to the hospital but not a single scene of like press asking Blitzø or Stolas about their relationship or the scene at Ozzie’s. Because no one but Blitzø actually cares? Scenes in media show us what’s important and if it was actually important to the larger world of Helluva Boss we’d have scenes to show that. There is no press coverage after the Not Divorced party, none after the Harvest Festival and none after Stolas officially makes moves to divorce Stella. He has assassins follow him around but not press. We DO get those press scenes when Fizzarolli and Asmodeus come out as being in love, because they are big public figures, but the only people who even mention Stolas and Blitzø are contained to Ozzie’s alone, and really it’s just Wally, Fizz and Asmodeus. The rest of the club is just interested in the spectacle.

The point of the hiding Stolas’s face behind the menu was not to tell audience he was ashamed of Blitzø, or that his being with Blitzø is a problem for him socially, but to reinforce Blitzø’s excuses to himself that it is, and highlight Blitzø’s self worth issues. This is further confirmed when Stolas reaches out to him across the table even though they are still in public and then later when he verbally expresses to Blitzø that he’d like to spend time with him without sex, tells him he enjoyed spending time with him outside of the arrangement, makes himself physically uncomfortable in the van just to spend more time with him. All of which Blitzø refuses to believe and dismisses. All of their interactions are shown as Stolas being the one to put himself out there, sometimes to a desperate cringe inducing degree, and Blitzø shutting it down and only expressing that his external protestations are not his true feelings by his avoidant looks, stumbling over his words and excuses, and his “protesting too much”. We as the audience see he’s full of shit through the reactions of others, Millie and Moxxie and Fizz specifically calling Stolas his boyfriend or being skeptical of the bullshit Blitzø spews to diminish the relationship.

For Stolas the song at Ozzie’s was a reminder that he had done something that fucked up his family and frankly his life as he knew it, tarnishing his image as a husband and father, and that fuck up has nothing to do with Blitzø being an imp, everyone knew that already for the most part from the very first time they had sex, but because Blitzø was the catalyst for the risk he took. He used to have the image of his family and his Princely appearance to hide behind and now we’ve shone a spotlight on who he really is, a lonely, soon to be divorcee, on a date with a demon who has acted completely dismissive of him, even outright ignoring him and ghosting at times.

A good way to highlight this issue with image is when Stolas nervously giggles and tries to over the top declare “we are having a perfectly normal date!” to the waitress by playing it off as being okay and trying desperately to get Blitzø to participate. He’s being publicly humiliated again and he tries to play it off and cover it up.

We see it again in his text messages from after Ozzie’s, he is so desperately trying to show Blitzø that it didn’t bother him, but that if it bothered Blitzø he’d like to talk about it. He tries to front it as “I don’t mind jokes about myself, it was pretty funny hahaha” but we as the audience see it for the pathetic attempt at faking it is. Laughing it off and pretending it doesn’t bother him is what Stolas does but he still made an attempt, he still tried. Stolas is from what we see extremely comfortable expressing his feelings, loudly and at length. It when he gets rejected for them that he pretends it’s not how he feels. And once again, he reaches out to Blitzø, gets shut down after putting himself out there and then acts as if everything is fine.

During the song at Ozzie’s , when the spotlight comes to Stolas, Asmodeus starts reminding him he “destroyed” his life, his family, and his image for a dude who does not outwardly appear to return his feelings, who is in fact just fucking him, and not even because he is interested in Stolas, but because he is using Stolas for the book. Every time Stolas tries for more he gets slapped back. He threw everything away for more of what he already had, a loveless business arrangement. He’s not shamed by the fact that Blitzø is an imp but that he ripped apart his picture perfect life for a guy who was acting distracted and ignoring him, who at times is completely turned away from him, and who is sitting across from him visibly uncomfortable at being called out as being on a date with him, and who he cannot get to agree to anything more despite his desperately trying.

Stolas’s part of the Ozzie’s episode opens with Gabriela yelling “Why won’t you LOVE ME ALEJANDRO” and then the man puts a streak in his hair to call back to it and people are still thinking it’s about status for him?

He just watched Blitzø stand up for Moxxie and Millie but when the focus turns to Stolas Blitzø cringes and makes himself small.

Lets break down what actually happens on screen because it is ALL in the visual choices made by the artists and what the song is actually about, lust being more acceptable than love because love is embarrassing and Blitzø hates to be embarrassed:

Moxxie starts singing, and after he sings “I loooove you” the shot jumps to Blitzø who CRINGES and shrinks a bit behind his menu. Publicly declaring your love for someone in public like that? Fucking Yikes. Bro.

Blitzø stands up and defends Moxxie and Millie but not necessarily to support their love, but their sexual relationship. This says a lot about which one Blitzø thinks of as being publicly acceptable.

Fizz turns his attention to Blitzø and the entire call out is about his bad love life, not his social status, and not even necessarily his level of fame but his failures as a romantic partner and the state of his relationships. It’s interesting that the song turns to this lack of love since just a few verses previously they act as though a romantic relationship is anthema to what they are all about. As soon as Fizz starts talking about his LOVE life Blitzø looks nervously at Stolas out of the corner of his eye.

Stolas is shocked as the song starts in on Blitzø but he doesn’t leave or shrink away immediately, he makes this absolutely hysterical face when Verosika is singing.

Blitzø does NOT like that Verosika is singing about their relationship. He crosses his arms and gets very sour pussed.

Then when Verosika starts getting more predatory, and going in on Blitzø physically, Stolas STANDS UP and looks as though he’s going to intervene.

The Wally Whackford yells “Are you sleeping with an Imp?” And Stolas remains standing, in the spotlight for several seconds. He doesn’t even start to move away to get out of it until Asmodeus comes up into his space and the scrutiny is all on him. He still doesn’t hide his face nor does it look necessarily shamed, it looks surprised and scared with where this is going and to have the attention on him but he does not look shamed. In fact, he doesn’t react to the imp comment at all, he is just as shocked and surprised as before Wally yelled as he is after. He keeps making this same shocked and scared face the whole time. We continue to see the crowd throughout all this and the scene is from a wide shot. It’s from the main POV, which is largely Blitzø’s.

The POV then switches to ONLY Stolas’s, we are seeing THROUGH his eyes and what HE sees is his family turning away from him and then they shove Blitzø in a chair, make him the center of Stolas’s vision and he’s left with Blitzø’s embarrassed, cringing face. The crowd, the club, everything else is painted out. From Stolas’s POV he doesn’t see or register the public, he sees and registers his family and Blitzø. They are center of his vision and the club and its patrons aren’t even present in the shot. If the issue was the social status we would have no need to remind the audience of Stella and Octavia by projecting their images and then having a sequence where they turn, walk away and burst into flames. Wally’s comment would be enough to establish it. The crowd would be visible because they would be what matters to Stolas. But it isn’t, we have to dive into Stolas’s POV, get a visual reminder of his family and see how Blitzo looks from Stolas’s POV.

We pull back to the outside POV and Stolas sits and stares for an entire beat after the POV shift (a technique used to tell the audience THIS was how Stolas saw the situation, now we’re back to the main POV), Blitzø is still shrinking away from him and THEN after Asmodeus says “you sold your life for a thrust” is when he hides his face. Yes, I did slow down the animation to actually see the sequence shot for shot and yes, it is a sign I have lost my mind.

But it’s important! This technique is really common in literature and media, you introduce one character’s conflict or flaw and then, to show that it contrasts with another character’s situation you jump into their POV, this is to remind the audience that there is a difference between them, that they are seeing this situation from two different places. The shots are wide for the social status implication that speaks to Blitzø’s issues with public declarations and his own self worth and we jump into Stolas’s just to remind the audience HEY, THIS IS ISNT WHAT STOLAS IS THINKING IN CASE YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE MAIN REASON THEY ARE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE, and then we just jump back to wide shots and bringing Blitzø back as the character whose flaw is being depicted.

The rest of the shots are from main POV and show Blitzo reacting to that. A deliberate contrast is set between what Stolas perceived and what Blitzø did. They present this direct visual contrast using a POV switch to show it. From Stolas’s POV he is being shamed not by the public, who didn’t factor into his POV at all, but by the loss or strain of his familial relationships and by Blitzø presenting himself completely differently when the focus is on HIS relationship with Stolas versus how he reacted to Moxxie/Millie and even Verosika.

From Stolas’s perspective and the audiences Blitzø was relatively okay up until Verosika pushed him, then we see Stolas’s reaction to that. That’s when Blitzø’s entire demeanor changes. He wilts, he shrinks, he makes himself small. Before that he winced a little but mostly he seemed annoyed. Until it gets turned on his date with Stolas. And we see this confirmed through Stolas’s POV, that we are seeing Blitzø how Stolas is seeing him looking sheepish and unhappy right in the center of the shot.

You sold your life for a thrust” is so important in this sequence, Blitzo just basically confirmed from his contrasting reactions and body language throughout the song that what they have is just sex, and we know from Stolas asking Asmodeus about the crystal and following up on it that he is really focusing on the transactional aspect of it and the situation he put an unwilling (at least in his mind) Blitzø in. This is just another bad arrangement like his marriage.

We don’t have onscreen confirmation, so this is more speculation but I imagine Stolas is probably comparing himself to Paimon a bit. His father purchased an unwilling imp to play with him as a child, the imp pretended to be into him to use him for the family treasure and now he’s essentially purchasing the same imp and that same imp appears to once again just be tolerating him for material gain.

Anyway, enough thoughts that depress the fuck out of me.

When we switch back to Blitzø after M&M finish their song we see the public again through their clapping and see his reaction. Now the issue at large is firmly back to the inferiority complex. Blitzø started shrinking and cringing away as soon as the famousness of his date was revealed, as soon as the crowd does exactly what he fears, comparing him to his partner and finding him lacking. Then we have Stolas reaching out, with no regard for the crowd who is back around them in the shots until the hand close up, and Blitzø shuts him down. Again. Once more we have Stolas visibly reaching out and trying to give Blitzø what Blitzø is outwardly projecting he wants (just like Stolas does with the dirty talk), and Blitzø being the one to say something annoyed or dismiss it. There is literally nothing Stolas can do to resolve this, because it’s an internal issue for Blitzø. Stolas externally declaring to every realm in hell won’t fix Blitzø needing to believe it and declare it for himself.

The conversation at Stolas’s house after reinforces everything, that Stolas is trying to do what Blitzø is projecting he wants. Blitzø appears to have an issue with their relationship being just about sex, the same person who goes out of his way to force all his non-familial relationships to be just about sex (even Moxxie and Millie, and when he turns a heartfelt reconciliation sexual with Fizz by asking to make out) and Stolas offers him multiple options for more of a romantic or comforting evening, because it’s what he wants as well, and Blitzø ignores that entirely, just outright refuses to acknowledge it. In the hospital we see Stolas tried AGAIN after Ozzie’s via text to work it out, and talk it out, but when Blitzø shuts it down again and when his initial approach didn’t work, Stolas tries just brushing it off and putting up that happy EVERYTHING IS OKAY image again.

So all this billion words and unhinged analysis to say that Stolas is not Asmodeus, he isn’t the one who needs to make the declaration, that won’t actually solve Blitzø’s problem and he already has put himself out there multiple times. Stolas is Fizz, obsessed with putting on a show.

Blitzø’s issues are internal and multiple people have tried to show him in external ways they love him and he either relates it back to sex, dismisses it entirely or physically removes himself from their lives. This is understandable considering when he does put himself out there he gets rejected, (circus audience, Barbie, his various gigs before I.M.P, Loona sometimes) or people act incredulous that someone could be with him. So the only way for him to complete this character journey is to internally reconcile and externally express.

Stolas is much more external about his issues, he tries putting on a happy face, laughing things off, trying to have a perfect day at LooLoo Land with a disinterested daughter, flirting outrageously with a disinterested partner, he wants the external situation to reflect what he feels inside but those around him don’t give that to him. He tries to have a perfect marriage, he gets a partner who throws obnoxious parties for what appears to be the chance to ridicule him publicly. He tries to have a perfect day at LooLoo Land to recapture happier times and accidentally alienates his daughter. He talks about how much he wants to bone Blitzø because that’s how Blitzø approached him and what he seems to be into in his relationships and is the only way he allows Stolas into his life at all, and in return he gets annoyed looks and insults.

“Or Is it Me?” In Look My Way makes me tear up every goddamn time because Stolas believes there is some internal problem within himself, that he cannot give Blitzø what he needs because he’s BEEN TRYING to be what Blitzø seems to want and gets nothing back no matter what approach he takes. No one will externally acknowledge him. Stolas doesn’t have an internal problem accepting his feelings and who they are for, regardless of status or consequences, he clearly says this in Look My Way and shows it before that with his over the top behavior, he needs someone from outside himself to acknowledge and reciprocate it.

So yeah, I disagree with the idea that Blitzø is the one who needs a public declaration. He might need a private one to take away his excuses but I don’t think he needs Stolas to do what Asmodeus did. What Blitzø seems to need is to be brave enough to declare his feelings for once and not shy away from the attention that comes with that. To accept himself as he is, like Stolas accepts him, and that realize he is just as worthy of love as the other people in his life. Stolas needs a declaration to validate his internal feelings, ease some of his loneliness with confirmed reciprocity and to have outwardly what he wants inwardly.

Thanks for reading if you did. I am sorry for being the way I am.

[freakenomenon]

the fandom may not be ready for it but I Am. thinking how Ellen and Benny (as a black woman and queer man respectively) were the ones that had their sexuality specifically targeted and distorted ansd it’s simmering in my brain… would love your dissertation on it. what happened to them both feels so especially horrific and it needs to be discussed without the whole jokey tone taken on specifically for Benny’s case. maybw that’s why they appear to be close even through Ted’s constant unreliable pov since they both share a deeply personal and violating experience in relation to who they are that the others wouldn’t understand.

hoo boy. exhales. cracks knuckles.

ill start off like this 

both ellen and benny have it the worst when it comes to the survivors alterations , not ted. ( EVERYONE BOOS ) as well as the fact that AM "hating everyone equally" is simply. a lie. and they're proof of that. its insane to me that , while picking apart everyone's personalities , their flaws , what makes them tick. AM specifically chose to mangle and dehumanize the only queer man , outwardly made him look like some sex-pest brute , and then stripped him of his identity in one fell swoop. As well as reduce the only black person and the only WOMAN to the overly emotional , hysterical , whore. 

it’s incredibly fascinating to me that AM not only reduced them both to the incredibly harmful stereotypes ALREADY forced upon them by the society he turned to rubble with the flip of a switch. But also stripped them of their ability to even express themselves within , and outside of those parts of their identities. I imagine that's why they are seen to be the closest ( element of their characters that i really hated being taken away in the game. benny would not have called ellen an idiot for being scared he wouldn't he wouldn't STOP )

I can’t help but imagine that the only reason benny would have “complied” or at least pretend to comply with the system the other men likely set up with ellen is to. shield himself , create a false narrative and hide the fact that he was gay to protect himself. which, is sadly incredibly accurate to how queer people in the real world often mask their identities to survive. having to conceal a part of themself that they can't change. its also worthy to note that while benny was able to mask , ellen can't just. cover up the fact shes a black woman , she cant hide or run away or deny what she is. and in her situation , she also can't run away from the consequences that come from. Merely existing. “Wrong.” and cant shield herself from the grief and mental strain that comes with that kind of dehumanization by avoiding the elephant in the room all together. 

in my head, ellen and benny didn’t start off. Actually having sexual encounters. i imagine benny tried to get into it the first time , and ultimately was uncomfortable. only to be slapped in the face with the notion of ellen. also being uncomfortable. and still feeling as though it couldn't be avoided. Both of them having this kind of “I only agreed to this because i thought it was what you wanted.” mentality. and actually becoming attached to each other as a result. without the mental burden of thinking that the other only views them as a sexual object

yknow

only to have that all swept from under their feet by AM.

seeing ellen wiping spittle from his mouth and holding his hand and trying to make sure hes safe is genuinely kind of heart wrenching when you think of it from less of a "oh shes the nicest of course shes doing that" and more of her. trying to keep the last scraps of her friendship with the only man who actually cared for her outside of what she can offer him alive , scraping and clawing to stay attached to what used to be her only equal. man.

also about that joke tone thing.

and i hate to talk about ted for more than 5 seconds in a rant that isn't about him. but ill be honest.

people not liking benny as much as they do ted is because they cant sexualize bennys homosexuality the way they do with teds "homosexuality" ( only projected onto him because hes the only one of the five that can be perceived as a "twink" because hes a thinner man. ) because hes not conventionally attractive. in fact its a part of his CHARACTER that hes no longer attractive. and that his sexuality is something genuinely implemented into his character. so they can't be as easily weird in THAT way with benny as they are with ted.

so in turn, they make jokes about him being violated. and dehumanized. guys don't you get it. his weiner is big. laugh guys.

also people genuinely erasing a lot of ted's genuine misogyny in favor of him being the token girlboss gay guy is. i feel like calling genuinely misogynistic men gay is also a problem and. ted is the result of that problem. no he's not gay he just hates women. there is a big difference between not being attracted to women and wanting to see them suffer because they don't "know their place"

TLDR ; benny and ellen IMA GET YOU OUTTA THERE.

[icedragonlizard]

I might get torn apart for posting this, but imo it must be said.

To make it crystal clear, I don't excuse Susie's actions in Planet Robobot. But I don't excuse Taranza's actions in Triple Deluxe either.

I think people in the Kirby fandom infantilize Taranza way too much.

I am not joking when I say that I've seen people go as far as to say that he was "never a villain in the first place". That he's "innocent".

I'm sorry, but that's just flat out wrong. He was objectively the villain during Triple Deluxe. "He was just following orders!" is not proof of innocence when he was following the orders of a dictator. Taranza was a dictator-enabler. A dictator's right-hand man. That's not innocent. He lowkey kidnapped people in the name of this dictator.

Who knows what he could've done off-screen during the game while dragging Dedede around with him... probably could've tormented a lot of unshown Floralians while Kirby was trying to stop the takeover.

I also believe that Taranza loved playing the villain. He looks incredibly smug while dragging Dedede around and provoking bosses into fighting Kirby. Not to mention the very things that he says in his monologue right before he uses Dedede like a puppet to fight Kirby.

.... So much for the claims of "never a villain in the first place".

I very much believe he's reformed (Susie too, tbh) but I wish people would stop totally erasing his actions and pretending he did no bad.

This is not meant to demonize Taranza in any way. It's just... I absolutely hate that people treat him like a poor little innocent baby while simultaneously treating Susie like an irredeemable, unforgivable monster. They committed very similar crimes, but somehow get treated like they're opposite ends of the spectrum morality-wise.

Now, when comparing them, Susie is indeed the worse of the two overall, because her actions were done on multiple planets vs. one country. But that doesn't change the fact that it's still hypocritical to treat one of them like they're innocent while demonizing the other.

Regardless of the different scales of their crimes, they're both ultimately just second-in-commands to corrupt higher-ups that then helped give Kirby something to fight the final boss when it mattered.

I like to think that Taranza and Susie are both rather morally grey people with good and bad qualities. To me, they're friends with Kirby now, but they still have flaws despite not being as bad as they were before. I'd put Magolor on the same boat alongside with them too.

Taranza can both have grief and still have flaws. And I think Susie 100% has had grief for her dad too, even if she's less open about it.

One of the reasons why Susie discourse is so aggravating is because people simultaneously downplay and infantilize other villains, especially Taranza. People are hypocrites. I bet people wouldn't give a crap if Taranza or Magolor were to turn Meta Knight into a robot.

I get why the colonization and capitalism themes for both Susie and Planet Robobot as a whole can strike a nerve to some people and elicit discomfort, but I don't really think that warrants a massive and unfair discrepancy to how she gets treated compared to the others.

While I can get why those themes can make some people not like her as much as others, I don't think it makes it fair to treat her like an unforgivable demon because her villainy happens to be more real.

Just because the others are less real doesn't mean they're innocent.

The double standards suck.

[saltywinteradult]

“there is no way in hell Alicent is going to abandon her children” why not?

Aegon’s a rapist and Aemond’s a sociopathic kinslayer, why should Alicent be forced to stay loyal to them?

I understand Rhaenyra why loves Jace, Luke and Joffrey because what’s not to love, they’re perfect. But I cannot see Alicent genuinely loving Aegon and Aemond after everything they’ve done.

It would be 100x more radical and feminist for Alicent to choose Rhaenyra, to put herself first, to stop letting men control her.

Goodness me, I hardly know where to start with this.

I don’t know how you think parental love works, nonny dearest, but it sure as hell isn’t "I won't love my children if they're not perfect people". That’s generally not how parenthood works. And Alicent loves her children. She was sold as a child bride and endured years of rape for the sake of producing those children. Raising and protecting them has been the main purpose of Alicent’s life for twenty years. How could she not love them?

In case you need proof, Alicent physically attacked Rhaenyra, arguably the big love of her life, because she was that angry (and rightfully so) about her son being maimed. Alicent went along with usurping Rhaenyra's throne, despite knowing it would lead to war and ruin what little chance she had left of mending things with Rhaenyra, because she loves her children and is desperate to keep them safe, and she believes that Rhaenyra would kill them to secure her claim to the throne. (Whether that is true is a different discussion - what matters here is that Alicent believes it.) Alicent stepped in front of a dragon to protect Aegon, for crying out loud. Aegon being a rapist clearly tarnished him in her eyes, and yet she still stepped in front of that dragon to protect him. If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about Alicent's love for her children, I don't know what will. So I don't know that this is a case of Alicent being "forced" to stay loyal to her children, as much as it is Alicent choosing to stay loyal to the people she loves most in the world.

I would also like to point out that Rhaenyra's children are very much not perfect. Jace and Luke both participated in bullying Aemond. In case you forgot, it was Luke who literally mutilated and permanently disabled Aemond. It doesn't matter if Aemond was in the wrong for claiming Vhagar or calling the Strong boys bastards. He wasn't, but even if he was, cutting out someone's eye is not a thing that good people do. So I don't know where you got the idea that Jace and Luke are "perfect", nonny dearest, but it sure as hell wasn't from HotD.

I'm not going to argue over whether Luke maiming Aemond is more or less bad than Aegon raping Dyana or Aemond killing Luke (which is his fault, even if in this version of the story he didn't intend for it to happen). That's not the point. And please note, I am not making a single excuse for Aegon raping Dyana or Aemond killing Luke. I'm simply pointing out that it is extremely hypocritical to claim that Aemond and Aegon are unloveable because of the terrible things they do, but Jace and Luke are loveable when they both do terrible things as well.

And here's the thing. Rhaenyra clearly loves Jace and Luke anyway. Why wouldn't she? They're her kids and she loves them flaws and all. So why is it any less believable that Alicent would love Aegon and Aemond? Why are Jace and Luke loveable despite their terrible deeds, but Aegon and Aemond aren't? And if Alicent choosing Rhaenyra, whom she loves, would be a feminist storytelling choice, why would it be any less feminist for her to choose to stay with her family whom she loves just as much? Why are Alicent's choices only Feminist and Radical when they benefit Rhaenyra?

Even if it were true that Alicent abandoning her family and becoming lifetime president of the Rhaenyra Fan Club would make for a more feminist story - which, to be clear, it isn't - my first priority is not for the story to be The Most Radical And Feminist™. I want the story to be good. And I do not think that making Alicent abandon her family for Rhaenyra would make for a good story. It goes completely against Alicent's characterisation to have her abandon the family we're shown time and time again that she loves more than anything else. Not only would that be a betrayal of her character, it would undermine the narrative as a whole.

For better or worse, these two women and their relationship have been made central to this story. They are foils and they've each been made into the figurehead of their respective teams in every way, down to the marketing of the show. It would simply be bad storytelling to throw off that narrative balance by having them team up. It would completely upend the story being told. The point of making Rhaenyra and Alicent's relationship so central to the show is that despite their love for each other they were still driven apart and forced to become enemies. Having them reconcile would undermine the point that this story is a tragedy.

[joejhang]

andrew minyard.

finally andrew is getting the essay treatment from me. i love this man and i just needed to yap about him. spoilers ahead and continue at ur own risk.

people (both within the series and in the fandom) like to think of andrew as super unemotional and stoic. i don't think people realise it but the whole "andrew is soulless" mindset has bled into the fandom, and the way people write and talk about him really makes me think they do just consider andrew to be extremely cold and unreachable as a person. i lowkey find this funny because andrew's not even that monstrous or difficult or stone cold he's literally just bipolar (canonically) with some clinical depression in there. like???

and it's weird because people like to think of andrew as super out of control and violent and yes, he was unpredictable when he was on his drugs and he does still play by his own rules, but he honestly rarely incites any violence? i can't really think of a single instance he's been violent for no reason. he punched matt for hitting kevin. he choked allison for slapping aaron. he choked kevin for lying to him and also because he was understandably panicked and angry about neil being taken from him. what i find interesting is that when one-dimensional booktok men and the stereotypical book boyfriends do this typa shit it's seen as cute and protective and bf material but when andrew does it he's seen as violent, out of control and emotionless. and what also doesn't make sense is when people see his ability to inflict fear and violence on people (usually retaliatory but whatever) they consider it to be proof of his inability to feel emotion, but it seems to me that it's proof of the opposite? all of his violent and "out of control" moments to me are literally displays of how much he cares.

andrew is such an acts of service show don't tell kinda person and you'd have to be pretty blind (or biased) to not be able to see how his actions reflect his thoughts and emotions. he agreed to everything neil asked of him because he was interested in and a little (a lot) in love with him. he agreed to let kevin stay and protect him from the literal mafia because kevin believed in him and believed he was worth something and was willing to be patient and give him something to live for. he's friends with and hangs out with renee because she's kind and honest and genuine with him and isn't immediately dead-set against him because he doesn't fit into the conventional values of what a guy is supposed to act like.

does he have problems and flaws? yes, absolutely. many of his issues do stem from his existing trauma and the biases he's developed from that, but he's working through them, with other people's help, and it's so bizarre when people in the fandom talk about him like he's so far gone and to "rehabilitate" him would be a miracle when...he's literally already in the process of healing?? and he's not resistant to it at all?? before neil even shows up, he's seeing and talking to betsy, he's doing things (in his own way, sure) to try and patch up his relationship with aaron, he's protecting the people he cares about, he isn't honestly as self-sabotaging and self-destructive as he says he is. betsy is right when she says that he's done exceptionally well despite everything the world and his life have tried to throw at him.

people like to accuse aftg of demonising mental illness and people like andrew but i actually think the aftg fandom does that a lot more than the actual books. i think anyone with critical thinking can see that despite the nickname, andrew isn't a monster at all, and i think anyone that really knows him in the novel would see that too. and people in the fandom still write him like a sociopath even though it's explicitly stated he isn't, he literally has bipolar disorder, and it's funny and ironic to me because the fandom is like the general public in aftg, and the fandom (at least to me) demonises andrew a hell of a lot more than the actual books do.

andrew isn't the emotionless, stony, cold, unreachable, violent monster the fandom seems to think he is. i think he does have some problems expressing his emotions and probably has some issues coming to terms with a lot of them, but i think he definitely experiences the full range of emotions and they show themselves pretty frequently, intentional or not.

[justslightlymental]

Hiii!

I was wondering if u can do hazard dating fem!reader who was in a really bad abusive relationship that she’s having a ptsd attack but thank fully hazards there to comfort reader 🫶

If ur uncomfortable doing this that’s ok!

Omg hey hey hey. Thank you so much for the request! I had a very fun (not) time writing this because the subject is horrible but i had fun making the abuser eat absolute shit tho. If anyone is suffering from an abusive relationship please tell a trusted loved one, i know it is very hard with all the manipulation and everything but you are strong! and you can survive! You can also vent to me if you need to :) TW: Depression, Eating disorder mention, abusive ex, Story will go into detail with mental/physical abuse. PTSD attack, anxiety attack. I have never experienced PTSD attacks or seen anyone having them so i had to go off on what google offers. Sorry if its badly written!!

NOT PROOF READ!!! (3.5k words i think.) - She doesn’t know how this one big sweet hunk of a man had managed to slither his way past her walls. She thought her defenses would be good enough, she thought no one could ever get past them again. But here she is, walking hand in hand with him. He was chattering about his latest adventure with the phreak gang, being so enthusiastic while explaining every little detail. She loved to listen to him, she actually preferred that as well. She was not the one to open up easily about anything, not about her feelings, her needs, nothing. In the past she was in a relationship with this one guy she fell in love with madly. She would have done anything for him, she really loved him. And at first it seemed like he loved her as much too, their relationship was perfect. They were the sweethearts of their college, the perfect couple, always the prom king and queen. He would spoil her with gifts and compliments, he would take her on expensive dates and bring her along on family trips. Everything was just perfect… Then it all changed in a blink. He would stop showering her with compliments and gifts, obviously she wasn’t with him for the gifts and luxuries… But she also wasn’t with him for those cruel insults he would throw her way. He would insult anything she did, he would negatively comment on her appearance and weight. ‘Why aren’t you taking care of your skin as well as Stacey does? I can already see pimples forming on your cheek.’ ‘You should really start hitting the gym. You’ve gained a bit of weight. I don’t wanna be seen with a pig.’ ‘Get yourself together, I have standards to keep up.’ He would always compare her to the other popular girls, those who were the spoiled rotten kind girls. Blondes with green and blue eyes, having the latest designer clothing and bags. All of this really damaged her self-esteem, she couldn’t look at herself in the mirror anymore. All she would see was this hideous monster with all the flaws and imperfections. Worst of all was the fact she knew she should leave him, but every time she tried talking to him he would fire back at her, manipulating her into thinking she needed him and that he was only trying to help her take “better” care of herself. ‘No one would want you in that state, I'm the only one who still wants to help you!’ ‘Please. Do you seriously think any guy would want a pig like you? Be happy I'm even allowing you to stand so close to me.’

And she believed him…

She stayed together with him for at least a year after his cruel personality came to be. Though the insults were not the only problem. It didn’t take long for him to pick up on partying and drinking again with his friends. He would go out to parties, rarely taking her with him, he would make out with other women and sometimes even have one night stands with them. The audacity he had to bring them to HIS house where she also lived. It hurt her so much to see him with another woman. The first time it happened she confronted him the next morning after the random girl had left, she cried out yelling at him. “How could you do this to me???!!” The answer she was met with was a slap to her face. Her eyes wide as she held her cheek, afraid to even look at him again. He started yelling back at her, throwing his hands around in frustration. After many times of asking her to look at him he had enough and took hold of her shoulders forcing her to look at him with her shock filled gaze. “How am I supposed to live with a ridiculous girlfriend who can’t take care of herself AND can’t even fill my needs huh?!!” He yelled at her face, pushing her down on the floor, rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration. She quickly scrambled away from him, jumping straight into her bed, crying into her pillow. Never in her life did she think he would lay his hands on her, hurt her like that. She doesn’t know why she didn’t just leave right then and there, maybe it was the months of manipulation at that point that still kept her under the roof. Or maybe it was the fact he had also gone as far as to threaten her if she ever left him. She was truly stuck and scared for her life. Her mentality had been scarred for good, she was depressed, she felt lifeless. She wanted to die, she wanted out of this situation. Her eyes were dull, no life behind them. She had developed eating disorders due to his comments and she had stopped taking care of herself all together. Her head was filled with nothing except self destructive thoughts and the need to escape this hell. The emotional abuse continued, and was even worse now. He kept on cheating on her with girls to satisfy his own needs, not bothering to even touch her in any way anymore. In his words she was too hideous to even look at. Not that she really cared honestly, she was glad he didn’t pay any attention to her, but still for some reason he didn’t kick her out. As she was one night scrolling through a social platform, looking at everyones happy lives, imagining hers could be like that as well had shen ever met her bf. She decided to go on his account, see what she was up to, what she saw made her heart break even more than it already was. He was posting a lot about her, acting as if he was her savior, making himself seem like an angel. So this is why he sometimes asked her to pose for a picture, the only

times he would give her small kisses or act sweet, the little hope she had began to get, vanished in an instant. She was only a pawn for him to use, she was a prisoner .It was during a shopping trip that the very thing she had been wishing for finally happened. Her bf had decided to take her out shopping for the first time in months, tired of seeing her in the same pair of clothes. She looked at the clothes in the thrift store, yeah he wouldn’t take her to expensive places anymore, apparently she wasn’t worth more than a few bucks to him. Not that she really cared anymore, she was never worth anything to begin with. After the very short shopping session they walked out of the store. She wasn’t really looking where she was walking and accidentally bumped into someone much bigger than her. She fell down on her ass, dropping her bag in the process. “Oh shit! My bad lassie-” The voice said, clearly someone Scottish. She looked up and oh lord the sight she saw. A very tall and frankly very muscular guy. He had blonde hair, his jawline was strong. He had a very stylish leather jacket on him, he was also pretty much half cybernetic. And his eyes… those beautiful orange-ish eyes, so full of life and energy… the complete opposite of hers. She was about to open her mouth and apologize but was cut off by her boyfriend. “Don’t apologize man, she should’ve been looking ahead.” Her boyfriend scoffed, taking hold of her arm and lifting her up rather harshly. “Cmon, apologize to him.” He demanded of her, giving her that look, she knew she would be in trouble later. “I-Im so sorry mister.. It was m-my bad.” She struggled with her words, not used to talking with other people. “It’s al’right. But are ya okay las?” He asked, one eyebrow raised a little bit after witnessing the way that man talked to her. She was surprised. Someone worried about her? Someone asking if she was okay? No no… He must be talking to her boyfriend. She was about to answer again but was stopped with a hard grip on her shoulder, making her wince. “She’s alright. Now go on mate, don't stick your nose into business that ain’t yours.” Her boyfriend said, turning her around to walk off. “Ay, wait up just a second here lass. Yer partner obviously ain’t feeling too well. And based on what I’ve seen by a minute I don’t think yer treatin’ her correct.” He said, stepping closer,

stopping her boyfriend by holding onto his shoulder. “Get your fucking hand off me. She is perfectly fine with me, right babe?” Her bf asked, threateningly. She stared between her boyfriend and the stranger. This could be her chance to escape from his constant torment and abuse, but the thought lingered, his threats made her hesitate a lot. ‘No no… (Name) this is your time. Who cares about his threats, you NEED to get out.’ Her mind would yell at her. “No.. No i'm not fine! He has been tormenting me for ages… I-I need help, please!” She said loudly, escaping from his grasp, her heart beating so fast. “You little fucking bitch! I’ll kill you-” He yelled out, about to punch her, only to be stopped by the strangers hand grasping his wrist. “Will you shut yer pus and get lost dafty.” He said, the threat evident in his voice. Her boyfriend stared at the stranger, his eyes wide. He let out a yell and went to punch the stranger, only to be met by a cybernetic hand to the face, knocking him out cold immediately. She gasped, looking away from the scene, afraid. “Sorry about that wee yin. Had to teach that scabby lass a lesson. Ya alright?” He turned to stare at her, keeping his distance, not wanting to scare the poor girl more. “I- thank you… Thank you so much…” She cried out. “It was nothin’ Could tell he wasn’t treatin’ ya right. The name’s Hazard, what about yus?” The man said, holding out a hand to give a gentle shake, if she wanted to of course. “(Name..)” She gave a weak smile, accepting the handshake.

- That all happened a good two years ago. It took a lot of time for her to open up to the idea of dating again. Hazard never pushed her into anything, nor did he really talk about wanting to be in a relationship with her directly. Of course from the day he met her, he already felt a certain pull towards her. Half a year after they met and started regularly hanging out his feelings truly became clear to him. She on the other hand felt safe for the first time in her life after they began hanging out, but the fear of it all going wrong again made her very scared and wary of everything they did together. It took her a good year before she realized she liked him, she didn’t know if she should pursue her feelings, and talk to him about him. She didn’t even know if he felt the same, she didn’t know if he would want to date someone as scared and vulnerable as her. After a long talk and feelings shared they shared a deep and meaningful hug, and they began dating slowly but surely. He assured her that every step of the way he would respect her boundaries, he would never initiate anything between them, she would have all the power. She respected that, a lot. A few months into their relationship she was ready to open up more about her past with her ex. She told him how he treated her, how her mental health suffered greatly because of him. How she was still struggling with her self esteem and mental problems because his words and actions would forever haunt her. Hazard listened through everything, gave her warm hugs whenever she started breaking down while explaining her story. Telling her it was never her fault and that her imperfections were what made her beautiful. He helped her get onto her feet, helped her with her eating disorder, getting her back to a healthy weight slowly but surely. Her hair got longer and more healthy, her bones slowly getting covered and her skin becoming more colorful. She still struggled with nightmares to this day, but whenever she woke up in tears he was there to wipe them away and calm her down. At the half year mark of their relationship she finally got the courage to kiss him, to let him hold her in a more intimate way, she loved every second of it. It had been so.. so very long since someone had loved her like Hazard did. He never went further than kissing her sweetly, he never even touched her unless she guided his hand somewhere on her body.

Her thoughts got cut off by Hazard patting her on the shoulder, pointing at the cafe they were supposed to eat at. She smiled at him and they went inside, ordering their food and going outside to eat. “Ay. I’m gonna go use the restroom real quick’ ait bonny?” Hazard smiled at her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Of course darling, I'll wait out here.” She smiled at him, watching as he got up and headed into the cafe. She stared at the scenery around her, looking at all the people walking around and socializing with each other. She felt so happy with Hazard, she felt lucky that she bumped into him when she did, otherwise she feels she would still be trapped or in the worst case scenario dead. As she bit into her croissant, not really paying attention to her surroundings her ears picked up a familiar voice, her heart stopped for a moment, her eyes widening in panic. That voice… no no.. it can’t be. It can't be! She raised her gaze just slightly to see her abusive ex talking with his now possible partner. A really hot one at that, obviously he would only go for the model type girls. She stared for a moment, a mistake she would soon come to regret as his gaze wandered before landing onto her. His mood shifted, happiness turning into anger. She knew that gaze. The look he would always give her whenever he was angry or disappointed with her, the gaze he had when he laid his hands on her. He said something to the girl before walking towards her. No no no no! She panicked, immediately opening her phone and typing a panicked message to Hazard, hoping he would notice it quick enough. Her heart was racing, her anxiety skyrocketing, all the bad memories crashing down around her in an instant. She flinched as she felt a hand slam down in front of her, she almost dropped her phone in the process too but held it close. “Look what we have here. Little piggy out here eating all by herself. Still haven’t been able to let go of the treats huh? No wonder you’ve gained so much weight again!” He laughed mockingly. She couldn’t answer, she couldn’t look at him, the only thing she could do was sit completely still, eyes glued to the ground, shaking. He got irritated fast by her ignoring him, he took hold of her jaw, forcing her face to turn to him.

She screamed out alerting all the other people nearby, some of them continued on and some just stared. “Look at me when I'm talking to you bitch!” He spat at her. She refused to listen to him, this angered her ex and he was about to say something again, only to be lifted off of her into the air. She stared as Hazard held him up high by the collar of his jacket, anger filling her usually sweet and collected boyfriend. A look she had never seen before, and didn’t want to ever either. Her mind blocked out everything he yelled at her ex, she had stopped looking too, she held her head in her hands, her body shaking uncontrollably, she was about to have a breakdown. She heard the sound of a hard punch being thrown at someone and then a table getting smashed. Some people trying to get in between the fight and stop it. And as quickly as it all started it ended. Her ex was bruised and bloody on the ground, his now current girlfriend trying to wake him up, yelling profanities at Hazard. “Haud yer wheesht hackit. Yer boyfriend had it comin’ should’ve never come close to (name) again.” Hazard scoffed, before turning to (Name), seeing her in such a state broke his heart. “Come on bonny, let’s get outta here.” He said. She could only slowly nod as he took hold of her hand leading her away. The car ride was long and silent, Hazard kept looking at her, wanting to make small talk but he could tell she was in a bad place right now. As they finally arrived home she immediately got out of the car and ran inside her apartment, Hazard quickly following after. The moment she got inside her bedroom she fell to her knees breaking down completely, all the panic and years worth of memories breaking free. She cried out loudly, curling up into a small defensive ball, her body shaking like crazy. She couldn’t breathe, all she could hear and see were the memories. She could only hear her ex’s hurtful words, she could only feel the pain he inflicted on her. She was completely dissociated from the real world, being kept as a prisoner in her own memories. A few seconds felt like minutes to her. She was sweating profusely, her heart thumping against her chest.

Hazard ran into her bedroom, kneeling next to her, he didn’t know what to do. He had never seen this before, sure she had small episodes here and then but this was different. This was so much different. He tried to give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze but was met by her body twitching violently at the touch and her screaming out.

“STOP! DON’T HURT ME PLEASE!” She would yell, thinking Hazard was her ex. “No no no.. Bonny… It’s just me, you’re fine, you’re alright… I’m here.” Hazard spoke in such a sweet tone, trying to get her to calm down at least a little bit. She was still sobbing, still curled up not responsive. He didn’t give up, he talked to her through it all, he didn’t touch her, he didn’t want to trigger another reaction from her. He just talked, he told her about their old memories together having fun and laughing at stupid things. He talked to her about his gang, the things they do and the embarrassing memories of himself.

She was starting to calm down just slightly, her shaking becoming minimal, her loud cries turning into small sobs here and there. He would praise her for doing so good, for being a strong survivor. It had been almost an hour since her episode began and she was finally beginning to calm down enough for her body to relax. She wasn’t curled up into a tight ball anymore, she was still lying on the floor though, still unable to look at him.

“Yer doin’ so good wee yin. I’m proud of ya.” Hazard smiled, breathing out a sigh of relief.

“H-hazard..?” She mumbled out weakly, lifting herself up just slightly to look at him.

“Yeah bonny? I’m here, whateva you need I’ll get it for ya” Hazard said.

“D-Don’t leave me… please just.. just hold me.” She begged.

He didn’t need to be told twice, he didn’t even need to answer as his hands found themselves around her waist, pulling her into his embrace. She sat on his lap, her face in his bare chest, listening to his calm heartbeat, the warmth of his skin soothing her. His hands rubbed her back lovingly, whispering quiet praises into her ear. Her sobs disappeared completely, her body was now relaxed, her heart no longer racing and thumping against her chest. She could feel herself succumbing to fatigue, her vision slowly blacking.

“Tired.. I'm so tired…” She mumbled against his chest.

“I got ya. Let’s get into bed a‘right hun.” Hazard said, as he lifted her from the ground, holding her close.

He got into bed, still holding her close to her, having her almost on top of him. He pulled the covers over her and stared at the top of her head, giving her a small kiss to calm her down more. “Im never leaving yer side alright? Sleep well bonny.” He mumbled, still giving gentle rubs on her back. She felt safe, she could sleep without worrying about anything. She knew Hazard was a good man, she let sleep take her into dreamland. And for the first time in a long long time she did not see nightmares. She only saw Hazard in her dreams, she saw dreams of their future, living out their days together in happiness. A smile decorated her face, a sight that made Hazard's heart jump in happiness. He truly loved this woman to bits, he would do anything for her, Anything.

- our little green flag bf.

[stxrsniolo]

♰ֻㅤ۫ㅤֵ⠀𝅥⠀ the ninths ꒰͡⠀𝅄⠀͡꒱⠀⠀ִ⠀﹚⠀❟ㅤ

ㅤ◜ ✴ ⠀ 𓈒ㅤ ﹙forbidding neighbor!matt x deathly curious!reader﹚─── ⊹ ۪ ࣪ ꒰ rhea, cursed by her curiosity, faces the fallout of uncovering matt’s secret: a world of killers tied to their birth date. after witnessing the murder, she wrestles with telling her parents but is paralyzed by fear and doubt. matt pressures her to join his “pack” or flee, as she grapples with paranoia, guilt, and the looming threat to her family. ㅤ ㅤㅤ( ˖ ࣪★˳ ) : panic + death + violence + emotional turmoil + obsession + paranoia + horror + murder + psychological tension → dark fiction .

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ꒰ ( aegan's notes )﹕this piece is heavily based on damian, a work by alex mirez. tread carefully; the shadows you'll encounter here echo those from her dark narrative.

my greatest flaw had always been curiosity, too much of it; and like everything, it came with harsh, ugly consequences—ones i was now choking on in the worst way possible.

standing alone at my front door sent shudders through me, paranoia sinking its teeth in deep. how could it not? knowing matthew was leaving, even if just two houses down, left me feeling raw, exposed, a sitting duck pinned under a spotlight. i couldn’t dare ask him to stay—grumpy, hateful bastard that he was, my presence clearly grated on him—so i had to scrape together some guts to do what needed doing, solo: tell my parents everything.

i slipped inside, easing the door shut with a care i didn’t understand, like making noise might summon something i couldn’t face. mom had to be home by now; she always rolled in at four from her gig as general manager of asfil’s top bakeries, a clockwork routine.

just thinking about telling her i had to leave made me question if i even should. i mean, how the hell do you confess to your parents that you’ve got to bolt because you stumbled onto proof the neighbor’s a killer, tied to a whole damn underworld of murderers? i could scratch off the idea of matthew pulling some sick prank. i’d seen it myself—the purple trench coat bastard carving up that guy in the woods.

but that wasn’t the part that stuck in my throat.

alone in the safe, quiet cocoon of my living room, i could admit the real gut-punch in matthew’s confession: the bit about them being born on the ninth of the ninth month, some twisted cosmic trigger that made them crave blood. if i overanalyzed it—and christ, i loved overanalyzing shit—it tied into nature itself.

that was my wheelhouse.

between books, late-night deep dives into shady research, tv shows, and elise’s wild tales, i could piece it together: it was real, and i had to save my ass. if i didn’t, a knife in my gut was my fate once they sniffed out i was just… normal.

“normal,” i muttered. weird how being that was suddenly wrong when the rest of this festering world swore it was the only thing right.

“mom?” i called from the living room.

i went to shrug off my bag like always, let it flop onto the couch, but then remembered i’d lost it in the woods—phone and all. i stared at the empty spot, a hollow ache creeping in.

oh, the couch, the calm, oblivious couch in the calm, oblivious living room. why couldn’t i be that still?

“in the kitchen, baby!” mom’s voice hit me, a knot twisting tight in my throat.

she had no clue. what’d happen when she did? would she buy it? hell no. she’d lose it—worse, she’d crack the damn earth open. that was mom: impulsive, fearless, sometimes a total pain in the ass.

i shuffled toward the kitchen, spotting her chopping veggies. she was all about healthy eats; ironic for a woman swimming in pastries and bread all day, but i loved her cooking anyway.

mom was a health nut through and through, kept herself slim, but those green eyes—mirror images of mine—were starting to show their age.

“how’d your day go? school good?” she asked, flashing a wide, warm smile that steadied me a little.

“yeah, everything’s been great,” i lied. “dad?”

“he’s late tonight, work’s piling up, called to say so.”

“cool. uhhhh, i wanna talk to you both at dinner, then,” i said, realizing my mistake the second it slipped out.

mom’s brow furrowed, and she set the knife down slow, its blade catching the light in a way that jolted me. i fought to hide it.

“something wrong? school trouble? bullying? oh god, i’ve seen those tv shows, rhea, honey, we love you, you’re worth everything. don’t you dare think about hurting yourself! no, no, no, stay grounded, always grounded. i thought it couldn’t happen to you, you’re so bright, you’ve changed—” she rattled it off so fast i couldn’t cut in. “don’t think being eighteen stops me, i’ll sue that damn school! nobody messes with my girl! tell me exactly what’s going on!”

“mom! mom!” i broke in when i finally got a breath. “it’s not that, no. nobody’s bullying me. stop watching those shows, please.”

carmindy—mom’s real name—pressed a hand to her chest, letting out a dramatic sigh of relief. “oh, that’s a weight off,” she said, then went right back to slicing veggies like nothing happened. “so, what’s up? tell me now, i’ll fill your dad in later, you know he tunes out everything but food at dinner.”

and he did—dinner, sometimes lunch, he’d come home ravenous, plow through two plates of mom’s light cooking because one never cut it, but his appetite wasn’t the issue.

i’d just clocked something: i couldn’t breathe a word about matthew’s secret.

tell her—the woman who’d just vowed to sue anyone who crossed me? spill a story that sounded like it crawled out of a lunatic’s head unless you’d seen it? say we had to move now or a pack of killers would carve up my face? a faint memory—or maybe just a gut scream—echoed in my skull: don’t talk. don’t say it. don’t tell.

and i wouldn’t, no way, because she’d never buy it, and it’d end bad for me.

it always ended bad for me—that’s how i knew i couldn’t spill what was churning in my brain. telling my parents was as dangerous as stumbling into matthew’s world in the first place.

i jumped when the kitchen phone shrilled, nerves still raw. mom wiped her hands on her floral apron and picked it up. i stood stiff as a board.

“hello? who? oh, hi! weird you’re calling. yep, she’s here, hang on. rhea, it’s for you.”

weird. who’s calling? matthew’s name flashed in my head, why would he call here? to rat me out to my folks? my heart slammed against my ribs, the room going eerily quiet. i edged to the wall by the fridge where the phone hung, hands shaking as i pressed it to my ear.

“yeah?” i croaked, swallowing hard.

“ding-dong, who’s crashing the big shindig?” olivia’s voice sang through, a lilting rhyme that made me exhale in relief. “i’ve called your cell like ten times—no answer! know how long it’s been since i rang your house? back when we’d gab all night about the O.C.— we were so tiny!”

“battery died, sorry,” i lied, glancing sideways to make sure mom wasn’t eavesdropping.

“then charge that thing! i need to send you pics of my outfit options for tonight’s party, i can’t pick!”

“the party… yeah, about that, i’m not going.”

“what?!” she screeched. “why? beause of elise’s crap about that stupid bet? come on, if she had her way, we’d all be nuns!”

“no, not the bet. i’m just… tired, you know?” another lie.

“rhea, it’s our last year, we swore we’d hit every event, every party, live it up! you can’t bail!”

“i know, i know. i’m sorry, i’m just wiped.”

“wiped? nothing a party and a few drinks can’t fix! we’ll go for a couple hours, then bounce—come on, please! don’t turn into elise 2.0!”

for a split second, i wanted to spill it all over the line, but if mom couldn’t know, olivia sure as hell couldn’t either.

“i won’t be elise 2.0, it’s just… i’m…” my voice faltered, no clue what to say, so i faked a cough, dropping to a rasp. “i’m getting sick, got a fever. you think i don’t wanna go? i’m dying to, but mom won’t let me out like this, she’s freaking out, she didn’t want me catching anything, you know how she gets…”

“oh! i know all about mrs. carmindy when you’re sick. fine, i’ll leave you be tonight, but don’t pull that excuse again. get better and if you change your mind, text me!” she hung up. i slotted the phone back, darting out of the kitchen before mom could pounce with questions.

i stopped in the living room, letting out a shaky breath. It felt like too much was clawing at me from the inside, like i was scared to even peek out the window. witnessing a murder, then finding out about a pack of killers? not exactly light news. my stomach churned as it hit me: staying quiet made me complicit.

i got it, i was tangled up in a brutal crime now.

i nearly hyperventilated. only thing that stopped a full-on panic attack was a knock at the door—sharp, deliberate, no bell, just fists on wood.

that same jittery dread from olivia’s call spiked again. i crept toward the door, hesitating. a flood of nightmare scenes flashed through my head, but i gripped the knob and yanked it open.

nobody. just my bag, sitting there on the stoop, streaked with dirt and grass. i snatched it, slammed the door, and bolted upstairs to my room. i wanted to lock everything—door, window, the whole damn house—but it’d be pointless, as pointless as letting fear eat me alive. i couldn’t stop the terror, but i could at least try to see this mess without losing my mind.

break it down: everything was fucked, royally fucked.

but didn’t i, more than anyone, know you could claw your way out of awful shit? problem was, this wasn’t just a bad spot—it was a colossal, deadly mess, and i’d kicked it off. me and my meddling.

i stared at the bag in my hands, dirt smudged across it, and knew only matthew could’ve dropped it there. knew, too, it was his way of hammering home that his secret was real, and now i was in it.

that night, i didn’t even eat; the second my head hit the pillow, silent tears soaked it, the image of that guy getting stabbed burned into my brain.

morning hit like a slap, the alarm jolting me out of bed.

i’d slept, somehow, but felt like i hadn’t shut my eyes. in the bathroom mirror, i tried convincing myself it could be a normal day, or at least fake it if i tried hard enough. those purple shadows under my eyes? nothing if i willed it. with effort, i could shove the nerves down. so i showered, dressed, and trudged downstairs to eat alone like always, mom and dad long gone for work.

stepping out for school, i paused, scanning the sidewalk stretching past the house. empty. i lingered, half-expecting matthew to slink by, but he didn’t, so i started walking, jumpy as hell, eyes darting everywhere, clutching my bag straps like a lifeline.

every few steps, leaving the shaky safety of home behind, though how safe was it, really? i half-thought the purple trench coat guy would pop up, those murky blue eyes boring into me, fear dripping off him. paranoid? sure, but didn’t i have damn good reason?

the trek dragged on forever until asfil central Institute loomed into view. its buildings still had that old-school vibe with ochre walls, massive windows olivia called chocolate bars. the town’s main school, it’d been there forever, growing over the years. they’d tacked on wings when it doubled as an elementary too, so it was a swarm of kids to teens, always loud as hell. never been so glad for the chaos until now.

seeing that flood of students buzzing around eased me a bit. with this many bodies, who’d pick me out? i crossed the waxed path flanked by glossy, wet grass and stepped inside, a flicker of safety hitting me. nothing could touch me here, not with teachers eyeballing everything.

in geography class, i plopped into my usual seat next to elise, who was nose-deep in a book—typical. she read more than me, way more than olivia. not that i didn’t, but elise lived in those pages.

i set out my notebook and pencil, only to jump at a syrupy voice cutting through the room:

“good morning!” olivia flicked a strand of platinum blonde from her face, flashing a perfect cherry-lipped smile. she was gorgeous and owned it, strutting it for all to see. a few mumbled back greetings.

anyone eyeballing her might peg her as the mean, popular blonde cliché. truth was, she had charm—won people over, not cruel, just real. folks around her clocked the difference between spite and honesty. couldn’t hate her, not even for being loud, outgoing, sometimes too sweet.

“you’re really out here tanking our self-esteem,” i teased as she sauntered over.

our desks were for two, but olivia perched on ours until the teacher showed.

“not on purpose,” she shot back, tossing waves to the room over our heads. “you know that’s not me—i just like sparking some joy, and i can’t do that if i’m not buzzing too. joy’s loud, right? spreads the vibe like cheerleaders! i love giving everyone a good morning, making ‘em feel alive.”

“oh, what’d their lives be without your hellos?” elise drawled, eyes still glued to her book.

“i’ve wondered that, pretty sure they’d smile less…” olivia said, a real twinge of sadness in her voice.

elise looked up, scowling, and grabbed her geography text—earth on the cover. she angled it so olivia could see.

“see this?” she asked, tapping the planet. olivia nodded, curious. “that’s the world with your hellos. now this—” she flipped it to the same earth on the back. “—the world without. spot a difference? no? because there isn’t one.”

olivia got it fast, her brows sinking, nose scrunching so hard i burst out laughing.

“that’s your miserable world. in happy people land, we ignore wannabe comedians who aren’t funny,” she snapped, flipping elise the bird. elise smirked, victorious, and sank back into her book.

then olivia blindsided me. “you look good. didn’t think you’d show after that fever. forced to come?”

“i got better,” i said, aiming for calm. “mom’s got killer remedies.”

“perfect!” olivia chirped, hopping off to chat up some guys two desks over. i exhaled quietly, only to catch elise side-eyeing me.

“so, what’s the real story?” she asked, voice low.

“what story?” i played dumb. elise was sharp, i couldn’t dodge that.

“you, last night, fever?” she flipped a page, cool as ice. “that’s what you told olivia. what’s the actual reason you skipped the party?”

“oh, the bet thing bugged me,” i lied, tossing in some nonchalance to throw her off. “stayed home, watched the x-factor.”

elise’s face soured, she wasn’t buying it, but all she could do was fake it and read. i’d lit a spark of doubt, though, and part of me wondered if i should tell her. she was the steadiest of us, the smartest.

problem was, this was heavy: murder wasn’t small potatoes, and i was complicit, i saw it, didn’t snitch. that, plus the fear, was gnawing at my skull.

right then, a weird itch crawled over me—like eyes on my back. i glanced over my shoulder, casual as i could, and there he was: matthew, slouched in a corner desk, staring, alone, messy hair as always, arms on the table, hunched like he could vanish, but those dark blue eyes? pure disapproval, no mistaking it.

class ended, everyone bolted; elise and olivia darted ahead, yapping about mall clothing sales—shared vice of theirs—while i lagged, scribbling the board notes i’d zoned out on all hour, distraction’s price.

finished after even the teacher split, i packed up and headed out, but just as i hit the hall, someone yanked my arm, dragging me back in. took a second to register matthew slamming the door, glaring at me like i’d pissed in his coffee.

“you moving? told your parents yet?” he fired off, no pause.

“couldn’t. couldn’t do it,” i admitted. he huffed, head tipping back like he was scraping for patience. i stood frozen, gripping my bag straps. “mom started ranting she’d sue anyone who messed with me! i can’t tell them—you don’t get it, what they’d do! they wouldn’t even believe me, they’d think i’m… crazy.”

“not bad, they’d ship you to a loony bin, you’d be safe there.”

my gut iced over. hated that word, hated it deep. couldn’t even picture being tagged a nutcase.

“what?! i’m not going anywhere!”

“damn it, rhea!” he roared, storming closer, all heat and fury. “you make me wanna strangle you, you know that? so much waffling, i can’t stand it.” i stumbled back, half-thinking he’d actually try. “but i told you i won’t, relax.” he eased off after clocking my flinch, eyeing me head to toe. “why’re you dressed like that?”

thrown, i glanced down at my simple floral sundress, light for asfil’s sticky heat.

“it’s bad? It’s just a dress,” i said, flat.

“it’s ridiculous,” he snapped. cold water dumped on me and i bristled instantly. “we don’t dress like that. or laugh like a jackass like you did earlier.”

“no, you kill. way more normal.”

“you think it’s normal?” he asked, a flicker of something naive in his tone.

“it’s sarcasm, matthew!” i barked, lunging for the door, but he blocked me. “let go!”

“first, stop calling me matthew—call me matt. second, if you’re not leaving, you’ve gotta join this.” his voice dropped, heavy. “still don’t get it? you’re in real danger, rhea.”

i held his stare, hunting for something to trust, but the murder flashed up—him, what i’d once thought he could be. words died in my throat. i tore free and bolted, melting into the hall crowd, sour and stupid for letting his dig about my clothes sting, when some leather-jacketed creep’s opinion shouldn’t matter.

still, i shoved that aside and locked on his last words.

i was in real danger.

second class, i wanted the ground to swallow me and spit me out in some asian backwater. matt didn’t glance my way again; elise rambled about somnium, a new book she’d started, hooked deep. olivia wouldn’t shut up about how she lifted everyone’s spirits, volunteering for grad prep with her “fresh” over-the-top ideas.

morning classes dragged, then the walk home stretched long. i dodged the bus with elise and olivia—ditched them the second i was out—trying to see this from another angle as i cut through town. mom’s, dad’s, olivia’s, elise’s. hers made the most sense: call the cops, get safe. logical as hell.

maybe i should just pick up the phone, spill it all, sell matt out, find some peace.

i got home, leaning against the door a sec, the silence inside was thick, like it’d teamed up with my fears to rattle me more. i dumped my bag on the couch, eyeing the house phone on its little table, ready for me to confess, like it was the natural move. wasn’t it? i edged toward it, hesitant. why so much doubt? i lifted it, punched the first digit—

the doorbell shrieked.

i flinched hard, dropping the phone, its coiled cord snapping under the table like a stretched spring. my brain stung with the worst—purple trench coat guy, finger on the bell—but the panic faded fast. could be olivia, dragging me to the mall, or elise, sniffing out my morning lie. could be anyone.

i opened the door, forcing optimism, and there he was.

“oh. forget to say my shoes are ridiculous too?” i quipped, relief leaking into the words. matt squinted, nudging me aside to slink in without asking, shutting the door.

“nah, you already know that,” he said, flat, indifferent. “you’re alone, right?”

“you’re not exactly polite, you know that?” i huffed, arms crossing. “and no, i’m not—”

“i swear i am when it matters,” he cut in, strolling into the living room. i tailed him fast, but he stopped by the couch, near the table where the phone usually sat, now on the floor. he stared at it. so did i, cursing myself. “what were you doing?” he turned, slow.

lie, lie, lie!

“calling olivia, we’re going out,” i said, forcing calm, rooted between the living room and hall.

matt’s brow creased, sharpening those freakish eyes—blue so dark the pupils blurred into them, weird as hell.

“you’re lying,” he said, stepping closer, deliberate. i backed up. “i know when people lie, rhea.”

“i’m not, why would i?” i mumbled.

my back hit the hall wal—no more room. he kept coming, closing in, his polished boots now kissed mine, pinning me with a stare that raked my face like he was digging for something.

“gonna snitch on us? on… me?” he whispered, breath hot on my cheek, goosebumps prickling up.

i was scared shitless—of course i was—but something, some dumb gut whisper, said he wouldn’t hurt me. showing it, though? that could screw me.

“no,” i said, firm. “wasn’t gonna.”

he went quiet, seconds stretching. i braced for him to call bullshit, but he just stepped back, shrugging like it was nothing.

“good, because if you do, they’ll kill you wherever you are: you, anyone with your last name, anyone tied to you. parents, friends, the works. you know that?” he said, casual as hell.

i sucked in a breath, peeling off the wall. snitching wasn’t looking so smart anymore.

it crashed back: real danger, him, the killers i’d glimpsed past that cabin door—all real. the thought of them gutting my family twisted me up. my throat knotted, but i swallowed it. matt wandered the living room, eyeing every knickknack like a museum tourist; photos of me gap-toothed, in kiddie soccer, with cousins, with my folks.

a version of me who didn’t know this secret.

“so, you’re staying, huh?” he said, tracing a finger over one of mom’s weird crafts—a headless, fat woman figurine.

“guess so,” i muttered, watching him close. “don’t touch that, it might break.”

“never break what i don’t mean to,” he said, lingering on it until he felt like stopping. “you scared?” he spat like it was a normal question.

“if i was, would that be wrong?”

“nah, fear’s nice,” he said, voice low, dragging.

“fear of getting murdered is nice,” i echoed, dripping sarcasm so he’d get how insane that sounded. he just leaned closer to inspect another carving.

“not that; panic itself—i like it. not feeling it, seeing it. get me?”

“i get i expected anything from you but this. never thought we’d be in my living room chatting about you liking scared people. not exactly… normal. but you’re not normal.”

“yeah? what tipped you off?” sarcasm, thick. “i know i’m not. neither are you.” he dropped the decor, facing me, calm as a still pond. “someone who won’t take no for an answer when a kid won’t leave his house to play, who keeps spying? not too normal.”

“i was a kid, okay?” i huffed, looking away.

“but you’re not now, and curiosity still owns you,” he said. “if you were so normal, we wouldn’t be here, you wouldn’t be in danger, and you wouldn’t be this terrified.”

“at least that’s normal, right? anyone in my spot would be shitting bricks,” i said, flopping onto the big couch.

“we’ll keep you safe from them,” he said, exhaling like it annoyed him more than anything. “we run in packs, watch each other’s backs. mine’s small and loyal as hell. maybe that’s why.”

“oh! a pack. from the makers of ‘i’m a killer and you’re dead’ comes ‘my murder buddies know about you,’” i quipped. he stared, blank.

“guess that’s a joke.”

“nevermind,” i muttered, rolling my eyes. “what do you call killer packs? gotta have a name.”

“like… packs, yeah. we can kill our own—saw that in the woods, probably nicolas settling a score. happens a lot—unfixable beef, strongest takes a life, but in a pack, we bond, swear protection, we keep that until we’re dead,” he said, sinking into the solo couch across me. “mine’s four: chris, tatiana, archie, me. chris and i go way back—told him about you last night, he’s cool with you joining.”

“great, no need to charm them,” i grumbled, flat. “they all kill left and right too?” dumb question, i realized late.

“we all do—some more than others,” he said, no guilt. “our pack’s chill compared to most. we hang, archie guts squirrels for kicks, we drink, that’s it.”

“yeah, squirrel-gutting’s real zen,” i said, faking a nod.

“it is. other packs hunt—practice for snagging people—or do rounds, stalking targets. then there’s hobbies that’d… shock anyone,” he said.

“not even gonna ask,” i said, shaking my head, then sighed. “do i at least… get time to think?” i was dreading his answer.

“today, sure. but you still don’t get how big this is, i’m not drawing you a damn diagram,” he said, standing. “simple: leave or join. leave, maybe you keep your life. stay, they’ll kill you unless you convince everyone you’re not some normal chick who knows too much.”

“it’s just… so sudden, so unfair—”

“should’ve thought twice before tailing me.” with that, he cut across to the door and vanished. i sat there, drowning in panic, disgust, pressure, a dangerous mess of confusion. only one thing was clear: i didn’t know what to do.

i shot up, locked the door, and everything hit at once, my emotions racing, desperation winning, shoving me upstairs to my room. rage tangled with fear; i kicked the poof in the corner, then slammed a stack of books off my desk.

“damn it! damn it!” i yelled, tears soaking my face like i’d lost some war, i crumpled onto the bed, sobbing hard—angry, scared. how could i ditch my life? how could he just say it, calm as hell, like he could steer my fate without a shred of regret?

i curled up tight, remembering what i’d chased as a kid: him. regretted following, regretted crafting some mystery around him, regretted thinking he just needed a nudge to crack his shell.

all lies. he’d never been sick, his parents locked him up for a rotten truth we now shared. i hadn’t killed, but i felt complicit, watched that guy die, couldn’t snitch, now stuck with a secret i had to live.

my life had to shift, but that meant leaving something behind; and to do that, i had to finally get what i’d been chanting since morning: i was in real danger: matt was a killer, and i had to try being one too—or my family and i were dead meat.

whispering that, i sank into exhausted sleep.

“the secret’s real…”

⠀̋⠀★ . ᅠtaglist ູᅠ͞ — @courta13 @marrykisskilled @chrislova @sturnshood @inspiredangel @strnilolover @emely9274 @sturns-mermaid @ariieeesworld @pixie-sticks-are-good @luvjaeeee @sturnslutz @mattswifeyy @oopsiedaisydeer @v4lsturn @pair-of-pantaloons @idkwhatthisevenislol @sturn777 @whore4mattsturniolo @madifilipowiczisthebest @fratbrochrisgf @ivysturnss @mattsatellite @sturnsblogs @izzylovesmatt @allisonclairee @m4gz-png @mr-wrinkleton @bluestriips @surprisecurlyfriesbackup @immaqulate @wysmols @chrepsi @mattslolita @ribbonlovergirl @milo-the-dog @madisturni @ariestrxsh @myluck4u-com

[nartml]

I get that THW was going for a sobering message of "sometimes you have to let people go" and "some friends can't stay forever", but it was hilariously unsuccessful.

It's still baffling to me, the amount of raving reviews calling it "the perfect ending".

Apart from the wild thematic inconsistencies, and the endless flaws with Hiccup's logic of "oh, yeah, I know that things have never before been this good for dragons, I know that Berk is living proof that even the most stubborn people can change their minds on dragons, I know that dragons thrive on companionship and love their humans, I know that good people exist, I know that I'm the instigator of a huge revolutionary period, butttttt..... because bad humans exist I'll lock away the entirety of the draconic population in a glorified underground cage, in the hopes that one day humans will stop being bad and learn to cooperate with the creatures that they question, or even forget, the existence of a measly decade after their disappearance. Magically.", this message plainly didn't fit.

Not just in a thematic context. I mean that it literally doesn't fit in this situation, and it doesn't fit the characters.

It doesn't even fit reality, because you have to let go of people for reasons. Some friends can't stay forever, for reasons.

Valid ones. Reasons like, you grew apart, you don't have shared interests anymore, they betrayed you in an unforgivable way, they're not good for you, they're not good to you, they died, etc etc.

Had any one of these happened? At any stage? The one thing you could, albeit pointlessly, argue is that they grew apart. That they outgrew each other.

Only that...they didn't? Did I miss something? Because Toothless flying away for, what, a day to spend some time with his love interest, is not outgrowing. Toothless finding romance does not mean that he and Hiccup grew apart.

And this isn't just about the Light Fury. I'm not discussing whether or not she's a good character (she isn't), and I'm not discussing whether or not she deserves Toothless (Ha, you're funny). Even if she were the absolute best, most perfect match for Toothless and a compelling character, it still wouldn't even remotely mean that he and Hiccup grew apart.

In fact, if you grow so far apart from your best friend that you can say goodbye to them forever, just because you found a new partner, then I really don't know what to tell you. (Except that you're probably not a good friend.)

Hiccup realizing that Toothless doesn't make him who he is, and doesn't define him, that he doesn't need Toothless in order to be someone, or even that he doesn't need Toothless at all, doesn't mean that he outgrew him. Not even slightly.

I mean, come on, I don't need the vast majority of people in my life. Arguably, I might not even need any of the people in my life. This doesn't mean I don't want them there.

This doesn't mean that I won't fight for them to stay right here, by my side.

Oh, look, how's that for a change? How about a movie where your friends refuse to leave you? Because that's what I want, and that's what How To Train Your Dragon deserved.

That's what Hiccup, and the rest of the Berkians, deserved. And that's what fit. That's what thematically fit, what fit reality, or at least the httyd reality, and what fit the characters themselves.

This movie treated the dragons as mindless pets, whereas in every other step of the way, they were treated as people.

Toothless isn't a just slobbery puppy.

Toothless is intelligent, curious, kind, understanding, funny, snarky and sarcastic, graceful, elusive, protective, loving, wary, and fucking loyal (plus much more).

I can't think of a character that has demonstrated as much loyalty and protectiveness as this guy.

And yet he was barely any of the aforementioned things in thw. He became unrecognizable.

All the dragons became unrecognizable, for no justifiable reason.

The final message shouldn't have been that your friends sometimes have to leave you, and that you have to let them go.

(The humans left the dragons just as much as the dragons left the humans btw)

It should've been that they'll fight tooth and nail to stay, even when the going gets tough, even when priorities shift, even when you tell them to go.

No matter how passionately you insist that caring for you is rotten work.

It's not to them.

[oshinohoshi]

Regarding Hikaru's culpability in Ai's death

The question of whether Hikaru meant to hurt Ai is still up in the air but in this post I'm going to make an extremely messy argument that Hikaru loved Ai and didn't mean to kill her!

Above: Hikaru said Ai had selfish and cruel sides (more like extremely avoidant tendencies but I digress) but there's no menace to his tone. He believed it was only natural for her to leave him.

I will say that Hikaru's below statement from ch 160 is pretty weird, especially after just learning that Ai loved him. Is that how he saw Ai? As a woman who deceived him and tried to make him obey her?

It does kind of align with the below Fatal lyrics which I can't see as anything other than a Hikaru song:

You have given me a fatal flaw Selfish giant star, ruined lives

I think both things can be true. He didn't hate Ai. He loved her more than anything. But he was bitter because he thought she didn't care about him.

He created a warped view of their relationship in which he was never loved or needed. But that bitterness, even anger at times, never appears to have devolved into murderous intent. Not when he was still so soft on her despite some of his more accusatory statements.

OK you're saying he didn't mean to kill her. But what about this?

I don't know, man. I just don't know. It's so antithetical to everything we know about him. It's one thing to lash out in a moment of pain but a slow burn manipulation like this requires intention. There's two explanations I can come up with.

He was twisting the screws for another reason. Maybe he wanted to exert control because he felt so powerless over the situation with Ai. Or perhaps he wanted a fellow Ai fanatic. Someone who would understand her significance.

Aqua is wrong.

But why did he change his story from stating he wanted Ryosuke to scare Ai (you fucking idiot, Hikaru) to just giving her a bouquet?

I'm a bit stumped here too. This guy is supposedly a master manipulator yet he couldn't keep his story straight?

Perhaps both of these were his motives but I don't know why he didn't say that from the start. I just don't think this is proof that he lied because it's not hard to keep such a basic story straight.

The best explanation I can come up with is that he told Ryosuke the address in a fit of anger and despair. He thought Ryosuke would scare her. He then gave him the bouquet. It was an "I love you/I want you to feel my pain" message for Ai.

OK, but if Aqua was right about Hikaru manipulating Ryosuke, then he knew Ryosuke was an Ai fanatic who could go off the rails in an instant. Especially if he learned that Ryosuke killed Gorou. And anyway, what the hell did he think he was going to do to scare her?

Augh. I'm just going to hope that Nino filled Hikaru in on Gorou's murder after Ryosuke died and therefore he didn't realize that Ryosuke was dangerous. As for what he thought Rysouke would do... I dunno. Give her the bouquet and glower at her? Tell her he knew about her kids?

My man was an idiot but I don't think that makes him a killer in this case. I mean, it would be scary enough for a fan to show up at your door with flowers from your ex.

My last piece of evidence that Hikaru didn't want to hurt Ai is that he was desperate to ensure nobody would surpass her, he wanted to feel her presence, and imo he was trying to preserve her memory.

Offing Ai is the opposite of all those things. He said that he killed Ai out of spite but I don't think that we're meant to take that literally.

Those panels at the top of my post and his obsessive adoration of Ai make it hard for me to believe he would try to harm her. Instead, he blamed himself - rightfully so - for sending Ryosuke to Ai's apartment and that's what he meant by killing her out of spite.

But this goddamn back and forth is why I'm so frustrated with Hikaru's characterization.

Is he a man who loved Ai, inadvertently caused her to die, and then spiraled into madness fueled by grief and guilt? Or is he a man who loved Ai, used Ryosuke to kill her, and then spiraled into madness because he regretted his actions?

Well, aside from all the reasons presented above, the story never explicitly tells us that he tried to kill Ai. Given that Crow Girl walks around spouting monologues about who is doing what and why, and Hikaru never thought about how he tried to murder Ai in his final moments, I've settled on: Hikaru is by no means an innocent man but he never wanted Ai dead.

I rest my case. It was shaky but I did my best.

[distressedjellyfish]

Things I think about with frequency

Amy March

How we deserved to see Amy and Laurie's wedding, and them falling in love, and just more of them

How Amy March is hated by many because LMA based the characters off her own sisters, and Amy was obviously written with some bias (as were all the sisters), which shines through and makes us feel similarly about Amy that "Jo" felt about her younger sister.

That line where Amy says "I've been second to Jo my whole life" hits A LOT harder when you realize that Louisa's (Jo) middle name is May, and her younger sister, who she based Amy off, is named May, after LMA's middle name.

I think that people see Amy as this vapid little bitch because she always knew she wanted to be a wife, and she knew she wanted to be rich. But what people fail to consider is that a lot of the time the youngest is the one that sees all the flaws in their family’s lives and feels responsible for taking care of them, even if its not expressly stated. Jo was a wild card. She was free to do as she wanted and nothing could stop her and God love Marmee for never trying. Meg was docile and almost polar opposite of Jo, and as the eldest sister she felt the same burden but lessened because yes she had typical Eldest Sister Syndrome where she had the need to take care of the family, but she also was the first, and therefore had no pre-set markers and expectations that she needed to meet or surpass. She wanted to marry and all that, but it didn't super matter about finances to her. Beth was unable to do "better" than her sisters "mistakes" flat out. And its not through any fault of her own, its just the way it was.

Speaking from experience, its always been clear to me that as the youngest of 3, I would have to do better. My half brother got a girl pregnant on his gap year when he was 18, so I was never allowed to take one, even though it would have probably helped in the long run. My half sister has always been mean to my parents, and won't let my dad see his only biological grandkid, which rips my dad apart, so of course I feel the pressure to have a child to give my dad a bio grandkid to dote on like he does with his non-bio grandkids, even though he's never outwardly expressed to anyone ever that he feels any disconnect from my niece because they aren't related, or that he wants me to have kids for any reason other than he wants them.

Anyways, my point is that Amy felt that pressure from a young age, hence always saying this or that about marrying rich. Add onto that when Aunt March tells her she's her family’s only hope of not being in the lower class/lower middle class for the rest of their lives. And just because that's the only time we see it, but that doesn't mean that there weren't other similar conversations had. Do you really think Aunt March never made her snide comments about the family and their status in front of Amy?

Amy's entire character revolves around this point, she's focused on being a proper lady, being delicate and pretty, in hopes of one day being able to bag someone rich, for her family.

Obviously, she falls into infatuation with Laurie when she meets him at the ripe age of 12??? She idolizes Jo, and Laurie is basically just the boy version (with some exceptions). He's also rich, young, handsome, and charming, and adores the family for who they are, including all their flaws. He's exactly what Amy had been saying she would marry, with the added bonus of him loving Jo the way she is, the exact opposite of Amy, proving that there are rich lovely men out there who will love you even if you aren't perfect, even if you falter. He's proof she can have the life she knows she needs to have for her family, and also still enjoy it and not be stressed all the time about being perfect.

Of course Laurie loves Jo first, for very similar reasons that Amy is infatuated with him. At 15, his whole life has been spent at dinner parties with girls the exact opposite of Jo, all proper and lovely and so so similar to one another, being told he'll marry one of them, everyone expecting him to be polished and well spoken and everything that no 15 year old boy wants to be. So then in comes this whirlwind girl who is completely different, a breath of fresh air that never wants to marry and can't ballroom dance for shit and laughs too loud, and shows him that life can be the Something Different he so desperately craves.

And of course, he ends up with Amy. He was Jo's best friend, so for 6 years all he knew of her was the way she was presented through Jo's eyes. A bratty little girl, who was the same as the other vapid girls he knew, that wasn't worth a thought. And he never paid her any mind because he spent 6 years thinking Jo loved him back, so why would he think of other girls? Then, at 21, he is essentially dumped by the love of his life, and travels abroad to find who he is without her. He meets Amy again, the girl who was always happy to see him. Of course he's going to spend time with her, she's familiar enough to feel like home, but different enough from Jo that it doesn't hurt. And there's the added validation of her liking him, which sometimes you need after your heart has been ripped apart. Plus, she's the only one he really knows in Paris. So they spend time together, and in that time he learns that she's not at all the way he's seen her over the last 6 years. Where he always saw someone not very bright, with a dim personality, that didn't stand up for anything or really rock the boat unless seriously provoked, who would do anything for him, he now finds a strong, funny, kind, beautiful girl, who is very intelligent and has a deep understanding of how cruel the world is (maybe ((definitely)) moreso than her sister) and knows how to manipulate said world in such a way that she can come out close to on top, who cares about her family enough to put everything else aside in order to become the person they need her to be in order to support them, who would still do anything for him but will absolutely call him on his shit and put him in his place when necessary. And how could he not love that?

She's not all that much like Jo, sure, but she is so much more. And she deserves so much more than people calling her his second choice.

Also I think that its criminal that most people don't see that obviously Jo loved her family but she loved herself more. Her sense of duty was to herself, and finding the place that would make her happy. She was also kind of a brat? Things didn't go her way? Editor is a dick? Boy critisizes her writing? Tantrum.

Whereas Amy loved her family more than herself. She was willing to put aside her dreams in order to support her family, and growing up was very rarely bitter about it. She decided, on her own, that her family was her number one priority, and that regardless of the fact that she could be happier doing other things, she wanted to do what she could to provide for her family. She knew how the world treated women, and she learned how to take that, and general criticism, on the chin.

Personally, I think that Amy is a way better character, and I'll die on this hill

Amy March

[menaceoffandoms]

LMK analysis rant: Mei

I said I was gonna do this and I'm keeping to my word! The only thing that may stop me is my procrastinating... and the fic I'm slowly writing but uhhhhh-

ANYWAY- We're here to talk about Mei, our favourite white horse dragon pepper girl!

Mei stands out as the most different from her inspiration, something the writers perfectly portray in the yellow-robed demon episode of s4, which is likely to do with how little they had to go off of. Despite being one of the pilgrims in jttw, Ao Lie dose very little in the novel. His most notable chapters being when he's introduced and when the group faces the yellow-robed demon, which is why we met him in that memory in the scroll. Combined with my belief that Mei isn't a reincarnation of Ao Lie -- just his descendent -- means that Mei is one of the most unique characters in the entire show.

There's just less source material for her to draw from, it let's the writers have more fun and do more things. It's not that they don't make the others characters unique -- they like to play very fast and loose with things over all -- but Mei feel like her own complete and original character. She's inspired by Ao Lie in the same way Mk is inspired by Monkie King basically and she all the better for it.

Being the female lead (isn't it interesting how most of the female characters in this show are villans?), Mei is a refreshingly strong, confident girl who begins the show as the most powerful cast member. Being a descendent of the great dragon gives her amazing powers that no other cast members have, a birth right that leads to her being the most protective of her friends and the first to help out in any fight.

What she has in power, however, she lacks in experience. Mei has no mentor -- other than her parents, but I believe its safe to assume they weren't very focused on teaching her combat -- which leads her to trust her gut more, rush into things and learn through observation, like when she mimics what her great x1000 uncle did in s3.

Overall Mei is an excitable, energetic and loving person with a "You only live once" kinda attitude, for lack of a better explanation. Even still, she has her own insecurities and flaws which make her all the more interesting. Due to the shows run time, Mei and many of the other main characters don't really get explored as much as Mk, however what we do see of these struggles and fears is incredibly interesting even on a surface level.

Her tendency to rush head first into danger without first examining the situation or creating a plan, truthfully, tends to work out for her, but it can't always. It's something shown perfectly in s4, when Mei is the only member of the group to not get a star from Master Subohdi, however what a lot of people seem to miss is how Mei actually did earn that star eventually.

When they leave the temple and head to the celestial realm to try and stop Azure, Mei leads them there with no plan at all. As such, they fail and need to be saved by Mk. Faced with proof of Subohdi's criticism, Mei makes the more important amendment to Mk's plan in the s4 special. I don't think we've even seen Mei make a serious plan until this point, which feeds back in to another one of her flaws: being unable to take things seriously.

This isn't something I see said about Mei often, but when watching her character I think it's externally obvious. Don't get me wrong, Mei can be serious, but usually only in moments of vulnerability or high stress. For example: when talking with her pearents, after she gained the Samahdi fire and whilst imprisoned by the Yellow-robed demon.

I think this flaw is Mei's own version of Mk playing dumb. They both behave this way to lessen the emotional impact of serious things, to protect themselves and help those around them deal with trauma or difficult topics. Mei and Mk really are two sides of the same coin and I'd love for them to do more with that in the show.

Going back to Mei's parents, one of her biggest struggles is reconciling who she is with who she's meant to be. She is a noble dragon, a descendent of the great dragon of the West Sea and practically the successor to Ao Lie. It's a lot to live up to and -- evident in episode 3 of season 1; Welcome home -- she doesn't believe she dose.

Mei is confident in her abilities, she's sure of her strength and quick to help those around her, but in the face of her legacy she stands uncertain. It's another thing her and Mk have in common, though in vastly different flavours, and it's interesting how this legacy colours Mei as a character.

She wields the dragon blade, proving herself as a worthy part of her family and gaining the approval of her parents, however the stark difference between her and the rest of her clan is more blatant than ever. We see this perfectly in season 3 when they visit the great Dragon of the East Sea, Mei being put into fancy clothes she instantly ruins in order to have a place to hold her sword. She fights against her uncle, fights against her family, because she knows they'll never understand her. But even still, she knows she's still one of them and she's so proud to be.

Becoming the vessel of the Samahdi fire is only more proof of Mei's legacy and connection to her family. It gives her a moment of pure vulnerability where she vents her frustrations and fears before rushing away, wanting nothing more than to protect the people she cares about.

When Red Son finds her she's still serious, but even with just a basic understanding of the fire within her Mei falls back to her normal nature; a silly excitable girl not taking things seriously. We see this after Red Son attacks her with the spears and when she's eating later on, but even if her attitude doesn't show it, she's still listening and taking the training seriously. She just needs to be silly so she won't freak out again.

Since we're on the topic of the Samahdi fire, I think most people can agree that the way it was handled post s3 was very poor. With only one mention of it in s4, by Master Subohdi no less, I assumed that the fire had been resealed, this time correctly. Something that dangerous should be locked up, even if a capable wielder is around. It would also prevent power creep and stop the show from having another Wukong predicament, by which I mean a character so powerful they need to find a way to prevent them from trivialising whatever threat they have to face in the plot. Wukong will get his own post soon don't you worry...

Instead, we learn in s5 that Mei still has the fire, she just kinda forgot? She learned to fully master it when breaking out of LBDs mech, so since the fire was no longer a raging uncontrollable inferno she just didn't realise it was still there... for an entire season. Yeah it feels lazy and honestly is probably the worse written choice the show has even made. Even still, it dose lead to a very interesting and in character moment for Mei.

When attempting to seal the willow wisp with Red Son, Mei loses her confidence, believing that she lost the Samahdi fire and thinking she's lacking. Mk getting Monkie Kings powers was one thing, but the rest of her friends now having cool weapons and magic? If their all so strong and only getting stronger, then what's the point in Mei? She was the strongest but now she might be the weakest, and that terrifies her cause if she's weak she can't protect people. How can she act when she's powerless to do so?

This dilemma is quickly resolved by Red Son telling her she's had the fire the whole time, amending it's use to Mei's lightning motif she's had since s1 -- I know fire benders in ATLA use lighting but come on -- and basically saying she's been using the fire the whole time. It takes away from Mei's whole struggle to be honest, but I do think there's potential for her to relearn this now tamed Samahdi fire so she can better use it. Just depends if the show wants to do that...

Moving on from my thinly veiled complaints about season 5 (I like it I swear but it is the weakest seasons to me so far), let's talk about Mei's role in the group a bit. Aside from being the token girl, she's also Mk's best friend and the only other character his age and acts around the same age as the shows target audience. Mk's the main character and leader, Tang is the lazy historian smart guy, Sandy the loveable giant, Pigsy the cynical brute and Mei's youthful and silly power house.

I would love to go into some narrative tropes, specifically the 5 man band since jttw is one of the primary bases of the trope, but I've realised I have far too many thoughts about that to fit here. This is the 21sh paragraph and I'm sure at least some of this is a mess, but I hope I'm getting my point across! Overall, Mei is an extremely compelling character how often gets side-lined due to run time and other stuff, but is honestly one of my favourite characters in the show.

[iamnmbr3]

I think its… kinda of odd and a little uncomfortable how much JK… HATED Draco. idk if it was from the start or maybe as time went on but the more I hear and look into the writing of Draco, regardless of how interesting his struggles were and how well it slowly developed… JK kept writing the narrative and there fore manipulate the audience to hate him. even when he was redeeming himself or at least TRYING to it just... seems odd for a grown woman to hate her own character that much when they were literally written to be a brainwashed misguided child.

Idk if her excuse was that it was totally Harry's perspective and thats why or if it was her own personal opinions about her own character but it's just so.... weird.

I agree. What particularly bothers me is the condescending and sexist and heteronormative remarks she's made about fans of the character and about the actor who played him. She seems to really struggle to cope with anyone reacting to her work in a way different from what she intended. That post on the wizarding world website (originally pottermore) where she said (I'm paraphrasing here) that Draco's fans were just girls who thought Tom Felton was attractive was so disrespectful.

It should go without saying but it's an incredibly sexist comment to assume that women who like a character are just silly girls whose brains fell out because they saw an attractive man. It implies that all his fans are women (not true), that all women are attracted to men (not true) that all female fans attracted to men are attracted to the character or actor (not true) and that female fans who do find the actor or character attractive are somehow lesser or incapable of thinking and analyzing and acknowledging the things Draco did wrong (not true) and that the only reason people who watched the movies responded to the character was because of Tom Felton's looks not his acting ability (not true). All these things are both untrue and offensive to suggest. For someone who claims to fight against sexism she sure spends a lot of time repeating sexist narratives. Maybe instead of attacking trans people she could work on her own sexism...

And yeah I genuinely don't understand why she seems mystified that people would view Draco differently than they view an unrepentant Death Eater like Bellatrix Lestrange when SHE is the one who wrote him the way she did. She could've made him love being a Death Eater but she didn't. And then she got mad when people reacted to that distinction. I've got something in my drafts somewhere going through the post on Wizarding World (formerly Pottermore) that she wrote about him because she gives even more (actually pretty cool) details about how Draco changed postwar and abandoned his previous beliefs...and then goes on this bizarre self righteous rant about how he didn't get redeemed and fans who likes him are dumb. After literally a paragraph before talking about his redemption arc. It's so strange.

And I agree it's extremely frustrating because to me Draco is one of the most interesting characters in the story with one of the most compelling arcs. Precisely because of his flaws and how he gradually becomes a better person and makes better decisions while still remaining imperfect. He's a great character with a great story but she seems totally unaware of what she wrote and actively hostile to people who enjoyed the character and even towards the character himself which stops him getting to live up to his full potential. Lowkey wonder if after he became so popular post book 6 maybe she reduced his "screentime" in book 7 out of spite or something. I have no proof whatsoever of that but I do wonder.

[sendandburn]

A take on Snaters

"Many Potterheads I have seen say that Severus' love to Lily was just an obsession. But that is wrong. The fact that he loved Lily truly was well understood by both Harry and Dumbledore. Dumbles did initially thought it to be an infatuation that Snape couldn't move on. But the Prince's tale showed that even Dumbles couldn't believe that Severus' love to Lily was true.

“For him?” shouted Snape. “Expecto Patronum!” From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe. She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window.

Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

“After all this time?”

“Always,” said Snape.

“ After all this time “ , Severus, you still loved her? You cared for someone who never wanted to talk to anymore? You were always on the look out for her ? Voldemort only considered Snape loyal for relaying him with the prophecy. Also, Voldemort would never , I think, go on telling all his death eaters , “ hey, I think Potter's son is referred to that prophecy. What do you think , my fellow Death Eaters?

“ Snape worked out Voldy's plan himself. And then told Dumbledore. There is a huge chance that Snape not knowing of Neville too. I think I went way off point.

Coming to the points.These are the reasons why Snape-Haters give for the obsessive love thing :

Same patronuses. That's the sign of true love and not an obsession. Dumbledore and Harry understood. Why can't the Snape-Haters understand that?

He tore off Lily's photo and that's creepy. He despised James. Why should he take his photo with it then? It was for Lily he did all the things. And for Dumbledore's death not to be in vain. After losing the only person who trusted him, he had to remind himself why he did all these, and with Dumbles gone ( it was usually him who reminded him ), he had to find some way and Lily's picture was the only thing.

F*ck it he was obsessed. The facts say…. Excuse me? What facts? The book said Snape truly loved Lily. The Snape-Haters say that it was an obsession. NOT HARRY, NOT DUMBLES, YOU GUYS SAY SO.

He called Lily a mudblood. Yes he did and no one denies that. But he never used that term ever since. He corrected himself. But no one sees that. They only see that James changed himself to a better man, just because he shows it outwards. If you say James redeemed himself so did Severus. If you can ignore what the marauders did when they were young and then corrected themselves, and then ignore James and maruders bullying Severus, then I can ignore what Severus said when he was young and then never repeated that. The only fact they can really rely on is:

“He desired her, that was all,” sneered Voldemort, “but when she had gone,he agreed that there were other women, and of purer blood, worthier of him—” Deathly Hallows~

The flaw in the plan This is totally negligible. He said because he preferred a life to an afterlife. Why should he die when he can live and maybe try a better way to save Lily Potter. So we can totally see that Snape truly loved Lily and it was not an unhealthy obsession.

Edit: When I shared this answer in another platform, a Potterhead told me that Snape never cared for Lily's happiness. I am pretty sure many Potterheads too think the same. The proof they provide is the following excerpt from the book :

“You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down—kill them all—”

“If she means so much to you,” said Dumbledore, “surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?”

“I have—I have asked him—”

“You disgust me,” said Dumbledore, and Harry had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little, “You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?” Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore.

“Hide them all, then,” he croaked. “Keep her—them—safe. Please.” Deathly Hallows~ The Prince's Tale

Severus was pretty much wrong there, but he corrected himself the very next moment. He understood that Lily's safety means her family's safety too. He understood that Lily valued her family as much as he valued Lily.

“ They can die, as long as you have what you want?”

What exactly did Snape want? He knew Lily was unattainable for him. He just wanted her to be safe. He did not want Lily as such. He understood what Dumbledore meant. He corrected himself the vey next second :

“Hide them all, then,” he croaked. “Keep her—them—safe. Please.” (Taken From Quora)