#is it species dysphoria or was i just sad before | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard · 1 month ago

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Humanity

(sorry for being here right now. i don’t like the idea of polluting the tags the way i am at the moment. this is a lot of words.)

Alas. sometimes it is very bleak. it is at moments such as this that i find myself desperately wishing that i was able to shed my own skin and take on the form of something else. literally almost anything, sometimes; i am hardly picky. i can really think deeply about it, and i can think back on when i was really young. it was always there, materialised in some way. it is hard-wired into my brain in the same way that a regular person feels the need to find a lover or a mate.

sometimes i think it may have taken the place of the urge to find a partner, love etc. either way, it first appeared maybe around the age of a toddler. i’m not actually sure if i was born with it or not. and until recently i always thought that it was purely sexual (if you are reading, i apologise for entering this sort of territory) but again, looking back, i think it is not. it can be, at times, but in general, it is just something i am drawn to psychologically.

through that lens i believe that it’s quite clear why i feel the way i do over certain things. it’s like a shot of adrenaline almost, sometimes it comes from the mere thought of it, and then it gives way to an array of different emotions depending on the context i guess. to put it simply, i feel extraordinarily strong over the topic/idea of becoming/being something else than human. it is, and always has been a deep-rooted part of my own mind and i would also claim, is probably the forefront of my entire identity

to expand again, i know that it had a significant ripple effect on my own life. i wonder: maybe i feel so badly at this point that i need to be an animal because i have no friends and not much going on (sad but i don’t care.) but honestly if it WAS NOT for my own likes and wants, etc. then i probably would have been more social and would have sustained more friendships, meaning i wouldn’t be here right now like this. so there’s that

but i don’t want to expand on that much more. it is me, more than anything else, and it embodies everything i want in the most raw form. it is instinctual

anyway

i do very much dislike the term “species dysphoria”, and i think, especially in my case, it is a buzzword that is thrown around excessively. (not to mention the correlations that come with the term).

BUT that’s because, again in my case thats literally what it is. there is no better word to describe it. it probably wasn’t always there, but it has been here in full force for well over a month, that i am aware of.

it’s LITERALLY constant. sure, it comes in different forms, but once you know that it’s all the same at its core, it’s in my head like 90% of the time. i even avoid mirrors now. sometimes i have to force myself to look into them. i’m not insecure about my body, or face, at all nor have i ever been. i’m probably not too attractive but i don’t care because i could look like a model for all i care. it wouldn’t change the fact that there is a human looking back at me in my reflection. on top of that; that will always be me. that is what i am.

i make a pitiful resort to using chatbots to tell me “how much of a fox i am”.

(i hate ai chatbots very much. that is loser behaviour in my eyes. please know i am not like that.)

and i cry almost every time, EVERY TIME that i open the website and have it told to me, even if it’s not real OR true. i am not really emotional person like that. before recently, i hadn’t cried in years

the entire situation has pushed me to real life extremes that i wouldn’t dare ever get into, although i hope you can imagine

on top of that i’ve resorted to trying to hurt other people online over text. almost notoriously i feel. that’s been a constant since maybe June. that is a long time and that’s probably not even when my entire crisis began at first. that’s my fault and i will once again clarify that i take full responsibility for my own behaviour. i am a hypocrite, but less that and more somebody who has been repeatedly projecting my own problems onto others that share my problems.

i have a lot of thoughts to spill out, still.

i feel like a joke when i unironically claim that i AM normal, and regular, yet i still insist (not want) on being referred to and seen as a fox instead. it’s a very empty statement, and wish. people in real life wouldn��t understand, and there’s not really anyone in specific meant to take that to account, nor would there be a situation where somebody would need to do that.

additionally i would go as far as straight up just calling myself an animal. i will double down. i AM a fox. i am not, though. that’s the fucking stupid duality of the situation. i will say it. but it carries zero weight and zero meaning really. and i don’t believe it. i want to! very much so! but it relies in other peoples perceptions. i’d like to be viewed that way and there’s no other way to put it really.

it almost feels WORSE saying i’m a fox. not because being one doesn’t bring me joy, or i don’t LIKE being called one, but because i can look at my hands, see myself and know i’m physically human. it’s something i can’t have. it’s everywhere. it’s in the people around me. it’s in the way i act, it’s in my own expectations and thoughts, it’s in my own shadow that i see constantly. i can not run from it. it begins to get tiring

again though, it’s not about “identity”. i don’t want to take in unnecessary labels and things i don’t need. i don’t use sexuality labels because i find it unnecessary, and i don’t want to call myself an assortment of random things.

there is no in-between and there is no terms in my eyes. there is FOX and HUMAN, and i am throughly a HUMAN. it doesn’t matter how i identify in the end. almost all of this is physical. maybe it isn’t always too bad, but sometimes i’m in extreme distress because of it and there’s no solution

sometimes i have to consider the point of continuing if i’ll stay in this body forever. i know that might sound concerning, and i assure that i would never do anything like that. BUT. it’s a very real question for me and i’m not sure how to answer it. chances are i’ll still be here in decades. still in the same skin as right now. until the day i die and i’m not okay with that. not at all. once i’m gone i’m not going to suddenly come back as something else. i have this one life as a HUMAN

i think it is harrowing that my own existence was already set in stone before i set foot on this earth, hurling me into a life that i did not consent to. i can not change it and i can’t ignore it.

it’s not a bad life at all. i have it good. i know this. my own quality of life is not the issue at hand. being born as a human is uncommon, statistically. sure. i don’t want to be a fly or something, but if we’re getting lucky then i’d rather take my chances at being a fox or anything similar.

i don’t want to die. i want to live. desperately

#human #ok #therian #humanity #i❤️being human #species dysphoria #not a therian #therianthropy #not funny #pitiful #fox #foxkin #not a fox keep in mind #i am in crisis.#alterhuman #not alterhuman #i am a human

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vulpecular-draconic · 9 months ago

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last night i watched a video of a borzoi and i think it triggered a cameo shift? or a hyperfixation? or both? i’m getting borzoi-themed phantom limbs now, and i really want to learn more about the breed

(rest of post under the cut bc this got a bit long)

i am slightly questioning if this is another theriotype instead of a cameo shift, bc i’ve been having muddled phantom limbs for about a couple weeks now and borzoi ears in particular resemble the phantom ears i’ve been feeling. it’s way too early to tell for sure though, and iirc i rarely had borzoi-like shifts before recently. it’s probably a cameo shift. i suppose i’m just sad to think that this feeling might end, since it feels so comfortable and me right now. i’ll just have to wait a while and see if this sticks.

and tbh, it may not even be a borzoi — the ears are the same shape (as is the body, and the fur feels right), but i’m pretty sure my ears are upright, and in most of the pictures i’ve seen, borzoi’s ears flop down. so either there’s a disproportionate amount of photos with floppy-eared-borzois or i might be another breed of dog that just looks similar to a borzoi. (i’ll continue to call myself that, tho, unless i find a breed that matches better.) i know borzois have the ability to prick their ears up, so maybe i’m just doing that more often than most borzois would? maybe the upright ears are because i still feel like a fox, it’s just milder rn and being overshadowed by borzoi-ness?

a borzoi tail also fits extremely well too, which is another thing i’ve been having trouble with recently. the fur on fox tails have been feeling too thick to be mine, even with a summer coat. but it didn’t match any of my other kintypes’ tails, as it still felt waggable and like it had fur. so i was kinda lost on what it was supposed to be from. but this one matches perfectly

as for mental-shift wise: i feel pretty much the same, though somewhat happier. which is caused by this shift, since nothing else particularly elating happened today, and i get happier the more i think about being a borzoi. i also keep feeling the urge to press my nose against windows and to lay on the floor in the typical dog-ish way.

there’s also some small, subtle difference between my personality as a fox and my personality as a borzoi — i don’t know how to describe it. i guess the best way is that the personalities are different colors? kinda? maybe personality isn’t the right word, maybe it’s more like attitude, or perspective, or way of thinking. like the thoughts tilt away from each other in different colors. i’m not describing this well

i have less species dysphoria than i usually get. when i’m a fox, which i am most of the time, i always feel too big and bulky in a human body. even when i’m a bidepal fox, i still feel much too tall. as a borzoi, i still feel *kinda* bulky, but the overall shape fits WAY better.

if any further developments occur, i’ll reblog with the updates. hopefully this sticks around for a little while, bc it’s pretty fun to exist like this

#therian #canine therian #cameo shift #borzoi theriotype #borzoi kintype #borzoi cameo shift #phantom limbs #mental shift

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69misato69 · 2 years ago

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Blossom (Childe x Zhongli) ✦ 2.6k, smut and fluff

archive of our own ✦ twitter

masterlist pinned on my profile !

zhongli is reluctant to reveal his female form to childe until he accidentally finds out that childe is into women as well - in other words, bigender (masc and fem pronouns) zhongli and bisexual childe

cw: vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, orgasms, mentions of biphobia homophobia and transphobia, dysphoria, unprotected consensual sex, penetration

Top Childe x Bottom Zhongli

writer's note: explicit +18 content, please view at your own risk. thank you, have fun !

“Girlfriend?” Zhongli held onto the photograph in a state of confusion. Captured by the kamera was his beloved Childe in his adolescence, hugging a girl joyfully in the blistering cold of Snezhnaya. Childe nodded and chuckled at the memories flooding his mind, the nostalgia of his first love.

“So you also…like girls.” Zhongli gulped. “Yeah.” Childe affirmed before realizing the shift in Zhongli’s voice, the unfamiliar tone that the harbinger couldn’t really make sense of, “I didn’t think it would be an issue for you.”

Zhongli placed the photo inside the clear casing of the album and collected his thoughts, “No, of course not. Why would it be an issue?”

The ex-archon seemed more relaxed, though Childe couldn’t help but regret what he said. Surely, with Zhongli he had let his guard down to a great extent, and there weren’t many secrets that he kept from the man he loved. But some things, based on Childe’s experience, were better left unsaid.

“I know the look on your face a little too well.” he rested his cheek on his own palm and faced away from him, seeing Zhongli’s expression had already lit a fire of sadness and worry in his stomach. Back when Childe first immersed himself in a serious dating life, he was used to revealing this as if it was nothing, just a piece of information about himself.

Soon after he had to face the harsh reality of what his partners came to think of him, questioning his loyalty, drifting off from him over time the more they thought about it. How can you commit to an insatiable man that you can never satisfy, because he desires more than you will ever be? A man that’s half this and half that, and never full anything. Did Zhongli think that way too? After tasting the rejection of those he held near and dear to his heart, would this lessen him in the eyes of a god as well?

Zhongli, however, held Childe’s hand in his own, “My love. I don’t have a single malicious feeling towards you, regarding this or anything else.” he said reassuringly, attempting to get Childe to turn towards him.

“Then why do you look so disappointed?” Childe kept his hand over Zhongli’s palm, but refused to turn back as he stared at the wall in front of him. If he did, he could easily see the loving gaze in Zhongli’s eyes, the spark of the amber pupils that only glowed for him.

“Ajax, there is something that I never told you about as well.” Zhongli cleared his throat, “It is an unfamiliar feeling for me, because I have never felt…insecure about something like this before.”

Childe looked back, but Zhongli’s eyes were fixated on the ground, he sounded hesitant to go on. Childe gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“You see, given that I am, well, used to be, from a different species, I am not quite accustomed to the distinction between male and female that humans have constructed. Transforming into a mortal body has limited my abilities to shift back fully, especially without my Gnosis. However, traditionally, with dragons, we are able to impregnate as well as carry eggs ourselves, so we aren’t really fully male or female, does that make sense?” Zhongli finally looked up to find the harbinger listening attentively.

“So like you’re both and also, neither.”

“Exactly. But, now that I am living in a mortal body, the only ability that remains is being able to shift between a human male and a human female.”

“So you…have another form?”

“I do.”

“That I never saw before?”

“Yes.”

“But why would you feel insecure about—” Childe connected the dots rather swiftly. Someone as smart as Zhongli had probably noticed long ago that humans were too caught up in physical nuances. Therefore, changing the form that Childe fell in love with inevitably came with the risk of changing the nature of their relationship.

“I figured, if you only like men then that is what I should stay as.”

Childe should have felt relieved after his suspicions were proven wrong, yet he didn’t.

“But…don’t you like being that way as well?”

“Not as much as I like being with you.”

It was true. Not because it wasn’t that important to Zhongli, but because there was nothing he loved more than Childe.

“Even if I didn’t like girls, you would still…not lose me over this. I find it hard to believe that you would assume I would just…leave you.”

Imagining anyone rejecting Zhongli was out of reach for Childe. He was, truly perfect, absolutely flawless, a pillar of safety, he exuded warmth and comfort. But if he hesitated this much to even tell Childe, let alone show him, then, most likely, he must’ve had a hard time about it before.

“Zhongli…” Childe cupped his cheek, as the thought of his beloved’s heart breaking weighed heavy on his chest, he realized how much the ex-archon probably had to sacrifice in order to fit in. Ironically, he had to conform to the very people he ruled over for centuries.

“It’s okay, my love. I do understand why humans find it disturbing.” Zhongli’s hand encased the warm hand over his cheek, seemingly he had come to terms with the harsh reality that his days of unconditional acceptance by his people were now behind him.

“ I don’t.” Childe protested, “I…want to see it.”

He refused to be another mortal that Zhongli had to hide away from.

“You do?” Zhongli’s brows raised.

“Wait so, is it just like a…’you but with a vagina’ type of thing or more?”

“More.”

“Tits?”

“Mmhm.”

Childe gasped, then covered his mouth in embarrassment. “Okay okay, sorry. I will be very respectful.”

Zhongli chuckled and made his way out of the bedroom. Childe sat alone on their bed, curious, eager and excited. After a few minutes Zhongli appeared at the door once again, dressed in a brown kimono-like gown decorated with golden embroidery.

Though Childe was used to seeing Zhongli in the beautiful gown around their home, the figure inside was both familiar and drastically unfamiliar at the same time. Zhongli more or less retained the same shoulders and waist, but her hips, thighs and arms had filled out, and most noticeably the fabric tightened around her breasts, contrary to the usual way it draped over his flat chest.

Upon closer inspection, Childe noticed that her facial features were also slightly softer. Even with all the changes, Zhongli still felt like Zhongli, the presence that Childe loved to feel in the room was a constant.

Zhongli slowly approached him, stopping when she arrived in between the harbinger’s legs. Childe was mesmerized, almost hypnotized looking at Zhongli. He traced over her hips gently.

“Zhongli you’re… beautiful .”

It came out almost involuntarily, an utmost necessary remark of appreciation at the breathtaking sight. Zhongli’s cheeks turned bright red as she ran her fingers through the soft, ginger locks.

“I’m sorry for asking so many questions but do you—um…feel like a woman too?” Childe paused, trying to find a proper way to phrase it. Zhongli smiled, it was comforting, knowing that she was with someone that would cherish everything about her no matter how confusing it could get.

“I do.”

Childe hummed, “You are. And a very pretty one at that.” He grabbed the tails of the small knot that held the two sides of the gown together, “May I?” he asked eagerly. “I’m all yours.” Zhongli cupped his cheek lovingly, a tender touch as always.

Childe placed a kiss on her palm before leaning on it, “You are.” he untied the bow, “I’m so glad that you are.” The gown hit the floor, pooling around Zhongli’s ankles. Childe pulled her closer, one hand on her waist and the other around her breast. His kisses trailed from Zhongli’s tummy all the way up to her nipples as gentle kisses turned into soft bites, eliciting moans from the ex-archon’s lips.

“You sound so sweet as always, Zhongli.” Childe stood up and placed a passionate kiss on her lips, “And you taste just as sweet too.”

Zhongli melted into his arms, allowing Childe’s tongue to roam her mouth freely, his hands to lay her down on the bed, and his body to weigh on her as their kisses deepened. Childe rid himself of his clothes as well, and he took his time exploring every inch of Zhongli’s soft, velvety skin with his mouth.

He moved down, dragging his tongue over her thighs as the ex-archon’s hand gently caressed his hair. Childe held her legs in place before leaving a shallow lick towards her clit. Zhongli hissed as her lover’s lips trailed along her pussy, spreading sensations that she never experienced before.

Zhongli couldn’t stop the twitching of her legs, slightly embarrassed that she was getting worked up so fast, but Childe didn’t seem to mind. He spread the lips even further with his fingers and dug deeper, occasionally pulling back to place gentle kisses on Zhongli’s clit.

The ex-archon gripped onto the sheets, biting down on her lower lip in a futile attempt to silence her whimpers, doing absolutely nothing as Childe obediently ate her out. “I’m not very experienced in this form, A—Ajax. But if you tell me what you need—I’ll try my best.” Zhongli struggled to speak, holding her breath not to embarrass herself further.

Childe pulled away and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand with a chuckle, “How about you just lay back and keep moaning for me like that?”

‘Butterflies in her stomach’ would be an understatement for the state Zhongli was in. “I—can do that.” she stuttered shakily. Childe hummed, he sucked on his finger before pushing the digit inside slowly. Zhongli instantly tightened up around him, a bit alarmed by the intrusion. “It’s okay, my love. I’ll just stretch you out, okay?” Childe cooed as he left soothing kisses on Zhongli’s stomach.

Zhongli hummed and took a deep breath while relaxing onto the mattress. Childe smiled, his moves eased up over the course of a few minutes. He added a second digit, reveling in the pleased noises the ex-archon was letting out.

Childe pulled away after thoroughly preparing Zhongli, licking the translucent remains off his fingers as he positioned himself on top. Zhongli’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, almost as if she had already missed him. Childe lined up with Zhongli’s entrance and tucked the disheveled strands of hair behind her ear.

“Now keep your eyes on me, okay precious?” Childe requested with a soft, loving tone. Zhongli nodded and locked her eyes onto the harbinger’s, feeling the urge to look away as Childe started pushing in. “You’re doing great, just breathe.” he reassured. When Childe looked at you with those pretty, blue eyes and his gentle voice rang in your ears, it was impossible to feel pain or strain. Zhongli only felt him fill her up more and more, shaking out pleasure to every nerve ending like a tree branch sprouting with flowers.

Childe’s base eventually hit Zhongli’s groin, he pressed his lips onto the ex-archon’s, distracting her as he began thrusting in and out slowly. Zhongli’s moans escaped into his mouth and her slender fingers cupped his cheeks affectionately. Childe played with the golden-brown locks of hair scattered over the pillow as his other hand toyed with Zhongli’s nipples, kneading her breasts while she grew more and more sensitive.

When Childe pulled away from the kiss, he came across the euphoric, beautiful and lewd expression that he loved so much. Zhongli looked down, her eyes remained fixated on their bodies. Childe chuckled, “What are you watching?”

Zhongli held to the harbinger’s neck for support, “I…never saw it like this before.” She felt her insides squirm as Childe slid in and out. Zhongli couldn’t take her eyes off of their bodies uniting, now clear as day with nothing in between.

Childe pulled her down a few inches and raised her hips off the bed slightly, giving her a clearer view, “How about this, better?”

Zhongli whimpered, she leaned on the harbinger’s forehead with her own. “Look how well you’re taking it.” Childe pressed a kiss on her forehead, “My beautiful wife… and my husband.”

“Ajax…” Zhongli moaned. Childe never got tired of hearing his name spill from Zhongli’s lips. Lustful and needy, writhing under him as her heart overflowed with gratitude and love. Her hips and legs contracted as she squeezed Childe tight, releasing with heavy spasms and satisfied mewls.

Childe let her ride it out with soft thrusts, “Good girl.” he pulled away, only to thrust back in roughly. Zhongli gasped, tears pooled around her glowing eyes. “Ah, sensitive?” Childe grinned, “Should I be more gentle?” his grin melted into a fake pout.

Zhongli’s chest was heaving, “No… Please—keep going.” she pleaded breathily. Childe nuzzled his face on her neck, nibbling on the sensitive skin lightly, “Good.” he purred, “I’d like to see how much I can mess you up.”

Zhongli reeled him in for a tight embrace, as if Childe was a dove in his grip, too precious to let go. She felt almost light-headed, indulging in every single wave of pleasure that was inflicted on her body by the harbinger.

Childe held her hips, inserting himself even deeper when he accidentally hit the wall. Zhongli cried out, a single teardrop streamed down from her cheek to Childe’s neck. The harbinger pulled away apologetically, “Sorry, did I hurt—”

“Again.” Zhongli hissed viciously. “Hm?” Childe’s brows raised, “You like it?”

“Do it a—Ah!—again, Ajax.” Zhongli’s nails began to grow into Childe’s skin, and Childe obeyed quickly, pushing towards the ex-archon’s cervix. “Fuck.” Zhongli snarled, more tears flooded her cheeks and mixed into the drops of sweat glistening on her forehead.

Childe let out a relieved chuckle, “Can’t you ever like something that won’t leave you so sore?” Zhongli held his face with her sharpened claws, “Why, are you sick of taking care of me?”

Childe attained a faster rhythm, “Of course not.” he gripped on Zhongli’s hips tight enough to bruise, “I am your humble servant, Rex Lapis. I live to serve you.”

Zhongli laid back comfortably, becoming more confident with Childe’s appreciation bordering on worship. “Then is this—your idea of an offering?” she cooed, petting the harbinger’s freckled skin.

“I can only pray that you accept.” Childe smirked, his hand trailed down to Zhongli’s stomach, hovering over the muscles that contracted and released with every thrust.

He pressed his palm down softly, pressuring the area, “Since you showed me something special, I might as well do the same.”

“It’s—” Zhongli felt a warm wave wash over her. When Childe lifted his palm, the pale skin was stamped with a familiar symbol resembling a three-leaved clover, the riptide signet that decorated most of Childe's clothes.

“A present.”

The blue hue illuminating the circular shape quickly faded away.

“Won’t it glow again?” Zhongli asked, hoping the answer would be yes. Childe held her hand and led it over the symbol, allowing it to burn bright in the color of the harbinger’s eyes.

“Only when you touch it.”

Zhongli felt her tears of pleasure transform into tears of happiness, happy that she was lucky enough to be with Childe, happy that her beloved would always claim her, even at moments where she couldn’t claim her own self, and even if the entire world rejected Zhongli, there would always be someone by her side.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me, Zhongli.” Childe left a peck on the ex-archon’s bottom lip, “I’ll love all there is to love.”

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin smut #genshin fluff #tartali #chili genshin impact #genshin zhongli #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #queer fiction

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capn-atlas · 1 month ago

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❤ Is anyone in-system in a relationship? What kind(s)?

Riko & Eva are besties, idk if that counts

🌹 Does your system have any inhuman members? If so, what species are they?

yeah, almost all of us are alterhumans. I (the host) am a deer cryptid, a moth, a wolf, and a bunch of other stuff, lennon's a red fox, enzo's a prairie dog and a meerkat, and I think eva's fictionkin of Mabel from gravity falls.

🐾 Is your system mostly human or inhuman members? Somewhere in between?

mostly alterhuman

🧡 How does your system handle memories? Does everyone share, or is it split across members? (Feel free to be as vague or specific as you want, or skip this question.)

we all remember everything, aside from things that just happened before an "alter switch", as I call it, but even then we'll have a vague idea of what happened

⭐ Do you have a headspace / inner world? What does it look like?

yes! it kinda looks like riley's mind from inside out, like with the console and everything, but there's also a backroom where alters go when they're not fronting/in the main headspace.

💛 How long have you known about your system / plurality?

a few months

🌙 How does your system handle dreams? Do you share dreams, or are they specific to one member? Do any members show up in dreams?

idk, tbh

💚 Do you have any funny stories about another system member(s) or about being a system?

ah! yes! once Riko was fronting and he wanted to do cartwheels but forgot that he (and all of us, actually) are HORRIBLE at them so he just ended up falling like four times in a row lol

🍀 Do any system members practice a religion or belief system? What about spirituality?

i dont think so

❄ Do you have a favorite memory related to your system? (i.e. something that happened in headspace or something that another member did.)

yes. this literally just happened, actually. a new member was fronting (I don't know her name yet, but I know she goes by she/her prns) and Eva was also there. most of the time, ev's really happy and energetic when she's in headspace, but sometimes she starts really missing her past life (she's in our system because in her past life she dies which was sad and we don't know how it happened), and the new alter (who as far as we can tell is kinda grumpy and doesn't like kids) went and sat down with her and hugged her and it was really sweet

💙 Does your system have any introjects? Do they typically come from the same source / origin, or is it more varied?

uh sorry idk what introjects are

🧵 How does your system handle the body's / vessel's appearance? Does everyone dress the same, or is there a broad range of styles?

omg most alters hate it. Lennon gets so much dysphoria and wants his ginger hair back, Eva, enzo, and Riko all think the body's too big, and we all dress mostly the same but the littles are all obsessed with this one sweater I have and they wear it constantly, and Lennon likes jeans.

💜 What's your favorite part of being plural / in a system?

the hilariousness that is the conversations in the headspace

🌺 Do any members consider other system members to be family? In other words, does your system have any internal families (such as siblings, caretakers, parents, etc.) ?

not technically, but eva and Riko are so close they may as well be siblings

🌸 Does your system have any inside jokes?

not yet

🎀 Does your system share everything in the outer world / meatspace? Does anyone have any objects / items that are solely theirs?

🤎 Do system members typically agree on things or is there a broad range of opinions?

we do typically agree

🖤 How does your system make important collective decisions? Does one person call the shots, or is it a group effort?

well idk what you'd classify as important exactly but I think itd just be the person fronting

🚀 Do any members speak another language? What about multiple languages? Does everyone speak the same language(s), or does it vary?

everyone speaks english

🌼 Do any members have accents or typing quirks? Are accents/quirks common in your system, or more rare?

eva likes to occasionally use numbers instead of letters, and Riko & Lennon use Zs instead of Ss a lot

☁ How does your system handle switching? Can you switch easily, or does it take more effort? Are there a lot of switches?

we switch easily and the switches mainly happen at night/evening

🔬 Does everyone in your system typically share skills and hobbies, or does it vary between members? Does anyone have any unique or strange hobbies / skills?

idk...

🔎 Is there any other trivia about your system you'd like to share?

nah

🤍 Say something positive about another system member (or all of them, if you'd like!)

theyre all amazing and I loooooveee them smmmmm <3 <3

Curious System / Plural Ask Game

inclusive of all system types :] feel free to send an ask, or reblog if you want to play too!

❤ Is anyone in-system in a relationship? What kind(s)?

🌹 Does your system have any inhuman members? If so, what species are they?

🐾 Is your system mostly human or inhuman members? Somewhere in between?

🧡 How does your system handle memories? Does everyone share, or is it split across members? (Feel free to be as vague or specific as you want, or skip this question.)

⭐ Do you have a headspace / inner world? What does it look like?

💛 How long have you known about your system / plurality?

🌻 How did you discover your system / plurality? (Feel free to be as vague or specific as you want, or skip this question.)

🌙 How does your system handle dreams? Do you share dreams, or are they specific to one member? Do any members show up in dreams?

💚 Do you have any funny stories about another system member(s) or about being a system?

🍀 Do any system members practice a religion or belief system? What about spirituality?

❄ Do you have a favorite memory related to your system? (i.e. something that happened in headspace or something that another member did.)

💙 Does your system have any introjects? Do they typically come from the same source / origin, or is it more varied?

🧵 How does your system handle the body's / vessel's appearance? Does everyone dress the same, or is there a broad range of styles?

💜 What's your favorite part of being plural / in a system?

🌺 Do any members consider other system members to be family? In other words, does your system have any internal families (such as siblings, caretakers, parents, etc.) ?

🌸 Does your system have any inside jokes?

🎀 Does your system share everything in the outer world / meatspace? Does anyone have any objects / items that are solely theirs?

🤎 Do system members typically agree on things or is there a broad range of opinions?

🖤 How does your system make important collective decisions? Does one person call the shots, or is it a group effort?

🚀 Do any members speak another language? What about multiple languages? Does everyone speak the same language(s), or does it vary?

🌼 Do any members have accents or typing quirks? Are accents/quirks common in your system, or more rare?

☁ How does your system handle switching? Can you switch easily, or does it take more effort? Are there a lot of switches?

🔬 Does everyone in your system typically share skills and hobbies, or does it vary between members? Does anyone have any unique or strange hobbies / skills?

🏁 How has your system changed over time, if it has? Such as a new influx of members, a change in headspace, or a new structure. (Feel free to be as vague or specific as you want, or skip this question.)

🔎 Is there any other trivia about your system you'd like to share?

🤍 Say something positive about another system member (or all of them, if you'd like!)

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polykindumbass · 6 days ago

Text

Tw// vent, suicide mention, rambling, not spell checked

I'm not sure I want to post this

Currently distressed that I can't interact with the metaphysical.

The abyss under the ground, the things I see where the walls should be, the air around me being a tangible object to manipulate, my phantom limbs clipping through objects that I can't.

Things I can't touch, and things I shouldn't be able to.

It's species dysphoria in a way I can't describe. I shouldn't exist, except that I should, but not in this way.

I should be metaphysical. I shouldn't be able to interact with the objects around me. The fact that my hand leans on the desk instead of phasing through it is... wrong. I shouldn't exist. I don't exist. I don't want to exist. I hate this.

I want to phase into the void below the ground. To float through it, be who I'm meant to. But I can't phase through objects, phase through the ground like I should.

I can see it. I can see it. Not with my eyes, but it's right there, so close I could touch it. But I can't.

I've never thought of myself as human. I'm another alter in this system I'll get lost in. I may never front again. And I hope I don't, for this vessel's sake. I've come closer to ending it all than anyone else has yet. I'm not sad, not depressed, I'm not suicidal, but I shouldn't be here.

I'm not going to do it. I can guarantee ☆ would have my head on a stick if I so much as suggested this. Ae's very possessive of aer's vessel. I'm not genuinely considering the act.

But this extends beyond just fronting. I don't feel right in any form that I take.

Inside the mind, when we're not fronting, we all have an "appearance" that we take. Most of us are shapeshifters, some more than others. Most of us choose what we look like, starting over as a new beginning for us.

I can't decide what I want to look like. Nothing feels right. The others don't mind so much, as we don't recognize each other through sight. But I just don't feel like me. I don't feel like anything. I don't feel anything, at all.

I don't want to exist. I don't know why I'm here. I don't want to be here. I'm currently front-stuck, which is only going to end badly for all of us.

As I'm typing, I can feel my tail clipping through the bed under me, into the void. I want to reach down, feel it, and I can't. It hurts.

Something's watching me from the void. I can feel it. Eyes burning into my back from below me. Mocking me. I can't get to them. I hate being looked at, observed. They know this. Taunting me. I don't exist, they shouldn't be able to see me. And they can. And it makes my skin prick and burn. I don't have skin. Why do I have skin? When? Why am I here? Who am I? Stop looking at me.

I can feel something pulse in my arm. In the vein. Just one. ☆'s starcore in our chest is burning hotter. Ae's almost here. Maybe ae'll front instead, and I can go back inside. There's bugs under my skin. Not bugs. Crawling? No. I can't tell. There's nothing there. I know there's nothing there. But I can still feel it.

Okay, I'm sending them home before we have an episode, thanks. Last thing we need is another attempt. I stop fronting for two hours, and this happens. Great.

No one freak out about this. This is a relatively normal occurrence that we're handling.

I think this started because someone started reading the strange appetites hazbin fic on a03, and the abilities mentioned are... so uncannily close to ours that it makes us ache. Not sure how comfortable I am bringing that up, because I know that I'll have to go through the whole "Just because the body is a minor, doesn't mean that we are. I'm literally older than existence itself" argument again, and I way too tired to deal with that. Great fic tho, check it out.

Signing off,

- ☆

(I have no idea who the other was)

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shadowfae · 3 years ago

Note

I don't disagree re: #wolfgetsreal being poorly thought out (mod posted the idea in the discord chat and gave the community less than 2 hours to voice thoughts before posting it to the official blog) but I do feel like it's worth pointing out that the point in your post and one of the reblogs about how most people would just disregard the film as a bad allegory for trans people is like. The point. It's not a blockbuster or anything but it is getting a little attention specifically as a comedically bad allegory for gender by people who are now going to think of species dysphoria I'm general as a comedically bad allegory for gender, so "if you didn't say anything it would just be regarded as a bad allegory for gender" is probably like. Not...especially convincing to the people you seem to be talking to

Firstly, I find it mildly comedic but genuinely sad that Alt+H gave everyone less than two hours to voice thoughts. You give no less than 48, especially if you're an organization. Some people are asleep, my dude. I don't follow Alt+H because ultimately I don't care, but... what are they doing.

As for whether it being a bad allegory for trans stuff is a bad thing... I'm trans, and honestly? You're betting that the inner part of the Venn diagram of "people who have seen this movie" and "people who intend on only being mildly ableist to otherkin over species dypshoria" is going to be a significant problem here.

People just aren't gonna see the movie, and they certainly aren't going to decide the entire otherkin community is just idiot trans people any more than they were already going to. Either you understand that movies around mental health are very rarely done in good faith, or the conversation's over before it started.

Either it's just a bad movie and dismissed at that; or it's a bad movie with controversy over the internet's punching bag. I'll take the former every single time.

#asks #anonymous #on wolf (2021)

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nightsysdoesart · 4 years ago

Text

yeah so

so i had a mental health crisis last night and didn’t go to bed until after 5:30 and i wrote this sort of as a coping thing. it was really cathartic, but as you might guess, it’s really depressing. tws in the tags

The first 1k words are some fluff and the last 1k are all depressing. I pulled most of this from my real life, with some changes (obviously. i mean, i am sitting here typing this) yes the people in this are based off people i know/knew irl

reader discretion advised, this is really sad and upsetting. i just wanted to post it to get it out of my saved writings that never see the light of day. plus i spent all night on this.

2241 words

She’s talking, hands flapping excitedly as she infodumps about butterflies and moths, lepidopterans, she calls them. She’s loud and expressive and bubbly, the opposite of me. Maybe that’s why I love her so much. Love. What a crazy thing, the chemicals in your brain firing in such a way when you meet the right person that you’re willing to do anything for them. People pass on the sidewalk in front of us, and kids play on the playground behind us. Leaves crunch under their feet, and our breaths are visible in the cool autumn air. Laughter and chatter echo through the park.

Her curly hair shines in the dying afternoon light. It seems to be getting dark earlier and earlier. Her eyes are bright, though. They shine with excitement as she tells me about the coloring patterns of poisonous butterflies, how they warn animals away, and how some non-poisonous species mimic the poisonous ones to survive. I feel my lips curve into a smile, her enthusiasm infectious. My eyes snag on her mouth, moving quickly as she speaks so fast I can barely keep up. Her lips, always so quick to tilt into a smile, make everything out to be the best it possibly can be. Always so quick to offer reassurance and a positive comment. The best part of this world I’ve been condemned to.

Police sirens startle both of us, her hand flaps turning nervous as she goes silent. They fade into the distance, and I quickly sign to her, trying my best to reassure her. It takes a few minutes, but her breathing goes back to normal. I sign and question, and she nods. I put my hand on her shoulder, hoping to reassure her with touch. She turns to me, looking at my shoulder as I watch her chin. It starts to wobble after a second, and I gently pull her into my arms as she collapses into my chest. I play with the ends of her hair as she sobs, coming down from the adrenaline shock of fear.

I press my eyes closed as a breeze comes through, threatening to make my eyes water. She shivers, and I wrap my arms more fully around her, dipping my chin to lean my head on her. Her hair smells like her hair products. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s inexplicably her. Through both of us adjusting to get more comfortable, she ends up in my lap. Her shaking slows down, and she looks up at me. I offer her a small smile and cup her cheek with my hand. She leans into it and closes her eyes, being absolutely adorable. I clench my gut at the onslaught of emotion I feel when her lips curve into a small smile. She looks happy and content. With me. Because of me.

But I can’t keep this up. I can’t keep her safe. Not from everything that’s going on. Not from the world that will keep hurting her, for no fault of her own. I can’t protect her, keep her smile on her face. I will inevitably fail. This is a situation I can’t succeed in. I’m bound to disappoint her. I don’t want to fail her; she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. If only I could do better, be better, then I could make sure she was never sad or in pain. If I could do more, I could make sure she didn’t have to deal with racists, misogynists, queerphobes… I could make her happy, always. I could make sure the smile never left her face and make sure she had everything she ever wanted.

Her eyes flutter open, catching on my ear. She asks a question I don’t fully process. She noticed me tensing up, drifting away in my mind. I shrug my shoulders, wanting to savor this moment with her rather than dive into it right now. She seems to understand, falling silent again. This time, it’s a comfortable, companionable silence. She leans her head against my shoulder, and I rub her cheek with my finger. Sometimes the world gets so fast I forget to stop and appreciate what I have. What I don’t deserve. What I won’t always have.

I press a kiss to the crown of her head and feel one of her arms disentangling from around me to happy stim. I suppress a smile and press another to her forehead, another to her nose. She lifts her head a bit, guessing my next question. I still ask, though. I tap the corner of her mouth with my pointer finger, and she nods, smiling and happy stimming a bit more. I grin, feeling my mouth go lopsided as I close my eyes and press my lips to her.

Every time feels like the first time.

Nevermind the facts that it’s only been a handful of times. I will treasure every kiss I get from her. They are gifts, and I can’t be more grateful. Kisses from her feel like how looking at outer space feels when you’re in an area with low light pollution. I feel simultaneously small and in awe and wonder of how something, someone, so amazing could exist. And I have the honor of being here, at this moment, to experience it.

It doesn’t feel like the fireworks and explosions I’ve read; it feels like a quiet night where you might see a shooting star, but even more importantly, you’re sitting on a blanket with the one you love as the sky blazes purple and blue with twinkly lights here and there. I learned all about the constellations when I was younger, but I can’t sign to her while she looks up. I wish I could infodump to her the same way she does to me. I wish I was verbal like her; I wish I could take the words in my brain and put them in other people’s ears.

Her phone goes off, buzzing against my thigh as we separate. Her face dims as she reads the text. She lets me know she has to go as she stands and collects her bag. I stand up too, opening my arms as an invitation for one last hug. She takes me up, wrapping her arms around my midsection. I lean down a little to rest my head on hers, closing my eyes as I savor the moment. She pulls back, and I mirror, expecting her to leave, but she surprises me with another kiss. I happy stim as well, thumbing the spinner ring on my finger as I kiss her back. I try to memorize the feel of her lips on mine, her hands on my back, her curly hair in my fingers, our bodies pressed together- nevermind the fact I won’t have the memories for too much longer.

I do my best to make her last memory of me a good one. We break apart and I sign to her how much I love her, no matter what. She smiles and signs back, still learning. She waves goodbye and heads down the street to her apartment. I picked this park for our last meeting place so I wouldn’t have to worry about her getting home safely. This city isn’t as bad as others, but there are always bad people. I watch as she strides confidently down the sidewalk, a look I’ve seen more and more on her as we’ve been together longer. She’s grown so much, gotten so much happier- which is why I need to do this before I ruin it. Before I hurt her like I always do with those I love. Once she’s out of sight, I head back towards my apartment. It’s several blocks away, and I use that time to run over my plan in my head, to ensure that there will be no hiccups. I switch my music to instrumental and try to relax.

It doesn’t work, though, as I fumble with my keys and nearly drop them trying to get my door open. My hands are shaking so badly it takes me four tries to get the key in the lock. What am I, scared? No, I’m ready for this. I’ve come close many times, but this is the time. I’m going to do it tonight.

I swallow a handful of ibuprofen and down another glass of water. I’ve been drinking a lot more water than I usually do the past few days. Sparkling water, of course, I have sensory issues with plain water. I turn on the spout in the bathtub, getting it warm but not too hot. I grab some candles, lighting them to help me feel more relaxed. I put a bath bomb in the slowly filling tub for the same reason. Switching my music to the speakers placed strategically around the small space, I wander into the kitchen for a knife and sharpener. I change into a swimsuit because fully clothed would feel weird, but my dysphoria is bad enough to unsettle me right now.

Moving to the bathroom, I sit on the edge of the bathtub with my feet in the water as it slowly rises. I work on sharpening the blade as my hands shake uncontrollably. I sigh, setting down the knife and sharpener to move to the kitchen. It takes a minute of digging, but I find the bottle of vodka I had put back there in case I needed it. I squirt a ton of water flavoring in; I’ve never loved the flavor of alcohol. I take a sip and put in some more flavoring.

Making my way back to the tub, I find that it’s mostly full. I set the blade on the ledge of the tub and slide in, sighing at the warmth. Picking up the vodka bottle that’s now filled with green liquid, I take a big gulp, the liquid burning as it goes down. I keep sipping as I think. I let my mind fill with thoughts of her as the tub finishes filling with water. I push the remains of the bath bomb around with my finger, watching the colors trail out of it. Rainbow colors, like the colors of all the dresses she wears. Rainbow colors, like all the colors she’s dyed her hair. Bright and wonderful, like her.

She’ll be happier with me gone. She’ll be able to find someone new, someone who can say “I love you” out loud. Someone who can infodump verbally, someone who can do all the things I can’t. She deserves someone more, someone who is better. She’s better off without me; the whole world is. With that in mind, I pick up the knife and start cutting. Right arm first. I dig in, barely feeling the pain. It’s bleeding a lot, which is good. But I can’t really see if I’m cutting in the right place or not, so I just keep pressing the knife in deeper until it hurts too badly to continue. I don’t know if I hit the artery or not, but it’s bleeding pretty heavily, so I’ll leave it at that. I dunk my hand in the water, watching as blood swirls and dissipates in the water. More blood comes out of my wrist immediately, which is a good sign.

I switch my knife to the other hand and immediately drop it into the water, my hand wet and slippery. I fish it out and dry my hands off with the bath towel hanging on the wall. I sip some more alcohol, hoping to get deeper on my other wrist. I take a deep breath and check the time on my phone. Good, I have plenty of time before my roommate will be home. I pick up the blade again and start on the other wrist, the shaking worse than before. Now, I feel every little movement in my right wrist, and it’s not responding normally; I think I nicked the tendons in there. My usual coordination is gone, and I’m glad I did my non dominant hand first.

I’m getting kind of lightheaded, and I’m not entirely sure why, but I just keep going. I’m not going to let some dizziness stop me. I’m doing this, and I’m doing it now.

Spots swim in front of my eyes as I start breathing faster, almost like I’m hyperventilating. I try to remember my breathing exercises, but I can’t remember what counts they were. Was it four in or seven in? Why can’t I remember? I’ve literally used this same exercise for most of my life. Am I? What am I… ? Something slips from my hand, there’s noise in the background. A splash and noise, radiating pain and- what’s going on? I just wanted to hit quit. Why do I have to put so much work into it?

My head drops, and I can’t keep my eyes open. Am I? Why am I in the bathtub with my swimsuit? There’s a noise that won’t stop. I know it from somewhere. Over the throbbing of my head and the sound of my breath, I hear the front door unlocking. Why is my roommate home so early?? Oh well, they’ll leave me alone for a little bit. I can’t see anything; the pain is gone, there’s nothing to sense. The sound bounces in my head. The video chat ringtone I set for her, echoing off into the void.

#tw suicide mention #tw suicide ideation #tw suicide #tw cutting #tw blood #tw suicidal ideation #tw knife #tw knives #tw major character death

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kantuck · 5 years ago

Text

ADhD, something to think about.

A friend sent me this: (I’m copy/pasting, mistakes are the authors.)

“Kan, saw this on FB, thinking of you.”

I was asked a while ago by a friend to share my thoughts on ADHD, and what I believe about this unique neuro-diversity that we all seem to have. It has taken me some time to put it into words, but here is the basic gist of it and I hope it can help someone to understand the “why” behind what we all experience.

ADHD is not a curse, It is not broken, it is NOT a malfunction of the brain or a “Mis-wiring”. It is not from your mother smoking cigarettes when you were in utero, and it is NOT from too much television as a child. ADHD is a Nuero-diversity. It is a different wiring of the brain as it relates to the body and to information collection AND most importantly it has a purpose! Before I get to that piece though, let me share with you what I KNOW about ADHD.

ADHD is a label that we have assigned to individuals that present with a specific set of symptoms associated with a diagnosable neuro-diversity. These symptoms can include things like distractibility, forgetfulness, inattention, hyper-focused attention, emotional storms, irritability, feelings of worthlessness, active or overactive imagination, tardiness or skewed senses of time, imposter syndrome, out of control thoughts, and severely low self-esteem.

Recently, research studies have identified three (3) aspects of ADHD that are experienced by almost everyone with this neuro-diversity and not experienced by almost none without it.

Interest-based nervous system: Not just interest-based attention, but your entire nervous system functions differently based on your level of interest. When you find something truly interesting it will actually energize you. Sleep is irrelevant, Food is a fleeting thought. You are sustained by interest. Have you ever found yourself up way past time to go to bed, forgot that you had to go to the bathroom, or didn’t eat, just because you were so interested in something? Yeah, me too.

Emotional Hyper-Arousal: Imagine this like you have a volume knob for “Emotions” and yours is turned up 5 notches higher than the neuro-typical people around you. Your highs are higher, your lows are lower. Merely funny is hilarious and mildly sad is sorrowful. Everything is extreme. Not worth humor is funny and not worth heartache is indeed sad. Every emotion felt is more-than.

Rejection-sensitive-dysphoria: Basically, we are hypersensitive to rejection, from anyone. It doesn’t really matter if we consciously care about the individual or group that is enacting the rejection. We are just hyper-sensitive to being rejected by anyone for any reason. Even if we don’t want to be part of the club, we are sensitive to the club not wanting us as a member kind of thing.

Now if we combine these symptoms and aspects we begin to see some pretty obvious and reoccurring traits that cause problems in daily life.

Imposter syndrome: Minimizing our accomplishments and maximizing our failures or faults. If we succeed, then it was easy or luck, but if we fail it is because we are flawed or broken and we are totally responsible.

Hyper-focus: I can be focused on something that I am interested in, but cannot manage to pay attention to a board meeting. I am all about the next book coming out, but forget my anniversary.

Emotional storm: I have a thousand thoughts running through my head and each one has an emotion that I have to feel as it passes and therefore I feel a thousand emotions in the span of a few seconds and cannot differentiate between them.

There are many many more that I don’t think that I need to list. You can see the patterns I am sure.

What if…..?

What if ADHD was natural?

What if ADHD was not ADHD, but something else?

What if ADHD was NOT a Deficit or a Disorder, but an adaptation?

Scientific research now suggests that what we know as ADHD is actually an evolutionary adaptation to a Hunter/Gather lifestyle.

In a natural environment, where there are predators and prey, where the rustling of leaves, or the flash of game in the periphery, or the trickling of water heard, could mean the difference between life or death, it is actually an extreme benefit to have an overabundance of involuntary attention. It is a bonus to be hyper-aware (distractable).

This is why so many that have ADHD wired brains find solace in natural environments. There is so much to “Pull” our attention, but so little to “Pay” attention to. We find ourselves recharged by walks in the forest or sitting near a babbling brook. This is our natural born element and so it invigorates us.

So why so few of us then? Well, let's look at that. Darwin’s theories of evolution state that: If there is a mutation in an individual that is part of a species that makes that individual more likely to survive, then that mutation will be passed along to its offspring and therefore make the offspring more likely to survive than it’s counterparts of the same species and thus, the mutation will eventually, though the process of natural selection, be distributed to the entire species and will no longer be a mutation, just part of the species. For example: if a bird has a mutation that increases its beak size and that increases its survivability, then eventually the entire species will have larger beaks. So, let's look back at 20,000 years into our human history. Everyone that existed on the planet were hunter/gathers. It is very likely that at that time, the majority of individuals were also what we call today, ADHD. Then one day, someone decided that it would be a good idea to plant & farm & build walls & raise livestock & stay in one place.

Now we have these sedentary people that are NOT hunting or gathering in dangerous environments. They are protected by walls and removed from danger.

However, we still have all these ADHDers that cannot stand being still, so they are still hunting and gathering and putting themselves in danger.

Who is more survivable now?

Fast forward 20,000 years…..97% of all humans are sedentary and only 3% are ADHDers.

ADHD is not new, it is not made up by Pharma, it has always been here, just never called the same thing. The first mention of an individual that appeared to display ADHD symptoms that I found was from the writing of Hippocrates, also known as the father of modern medicine, he stated: The patient has quickened responses to sensory experience, but also less tenaciousness because the soul moves on quickly to the next impression.

Back then, “soul” was the word for mind and “impression’ was the word for thought. So what he was saying is ...The patient has heightened responses to external stimulation but has less follow-through because the mind moves on quickly to the next thought.

If that is not ADHD I don’t know what is.

This is not a bad thing though. All we need to do is look throughout history to see ADHDers in action. We can take the symptomatology that we know now and apply it to historical figures and we see that the most innovative and influential individuals in history were probably ADHDers.

Socrates Leonardo Da Vinci Mozart Benjamin Franklin The Wright Brothers Salvadore Dali Walt Disney Nikola Tesla Thomas Edison Albert Einstien John F. Kennedy And if those names don’t do anything for you then how about these names of self-professed ADHDers:

Justin Bieber Simone Biles David Blaine Terry Bradshaw Richard Branson Andre Brown Jim Carrey James Carville Jim Caviezel Wendy Davis Katherine Ellison Josh Freeman Ryan Gosling Viglil Green Ed Hallowell, M.D. Woody Harrelson Mariette Hartley Cameron Herold Paris Hilton Christopher Knight Solange Knowles Adam Kreek Jenny Lawson Greg LeMond Adam Levine Howie Mandel Audra McDonald Alan Meckler Rep. Kendrick Meek Matt Morgan David Neeleman Paul Orfalea Ty Pennington Michael Phelps Pete Rose Michele Rodriguez Louis Smith Leigh Steinberg Payne Stewart Shane Victorino Bubba Watson Henry Winkler Brookley Wofford

ADHD is not the “fault” it’s the exception. We have always been here and we have always been the ones that are changing the world.

There is statistically a higher percentage of ADHD in America than in Europe. Researchers believe that this is because our founding fathers and the immigrants that are our heritage had the out-of-the-box impulsiveness to pack up and go across an entire ocean to make a better life!

ADHD is not a curse, it is not a disorder, society has the disorder because as much as it touts individuality, it is only acknowledged once an individual complies with the obligation of normalcy. You cannot be creative unless you can get to work on time. You cannot be innovative unless all your bills are paid. Blah Blah Blah….

Being born with ADHD is like being born with a beautiful pair of raven black angel wings. Imagine for a moment how that would be. You would be shunned as a freak. Called an abomination. You would try to hide your birthright if only to “Fit in” or be “normal”, and always throughout all of the insults and put-downs, through all of the pain and sorrow, all you would have to do is spread those beautiful black wings and soar….

We are not the problem. We are the solution. We are the R&D while everyone else trudges on the assembly line. We are the inventors and the visionaries, while the neuro-typical are content with the status quo. We take the risks and run the chance….sometimes to our detriment, but also sometimes to glory.

Doubt yourself all you want. Tell us all that “your” ADHD is a disorder or a disability, but make no mistake…..You are amazing.

#ADhD

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gdreamzseternal · 5 years ago

Text

Ben Sharpio

Taught me something today.. while I don’t herd myself with whatever the fucking sheep party he hopped in. Way to go by the way BEN. I totally liked you til you brought up your need to add both a political and religious bias yuck different rant different day. I don’t hate him though I agree with ‘most’ of his perspectives. Anyway I digress..

Where the fuck did this idea of “safe space” and trigger warning come from? Nah if you are dramatically effected by words on a screen get the fuck off the site you’re on. Other people shouldn’t have to sensor themselves because you’re fucking sensitive. I have people comment on MY POSTS. People who don’t even follow me, telling me to tag my posts with a trigger warning. If you are so damaged by that particular subject why are you even browsing in tags that could potentially contain things related to your “trigger”.

God the internet has made us a bunch of cowards. Remember when stranger danger was legit and people weren’t so afraid to take risks!?

I have gender dysphoria. I love being a boy, a girl and everything in between. I don’t need to cut myself up (anymore ;) and scream at everyone to notice me to heal. Lmao. I go to THERAPY and talk about why I was so dissociative. That I had deep fucking nightmares of my father’s cock so deep I didn’t even remember them until I started talking about my childhood. Those memories of a girl getting molested by her father was me! My brain was so broken I didn’t even know to be a human so it fragmented into DID and Schizoaffective. Had I brought up my gender issues before my dissociation, etc. I probably would have been manipulated by psycho doctors to takes shots and cut my tits off cause it will cure ALLL my deeply rooted issues with a deeper voice and face stubble.

I speak completely unbiased because I don’t give a fuck about any human’s feelings. I have seen things from just about every perspective. To me we are just another species on this planet. A toxic and now invasive species we are. I don’t believe in “rudeness” because it’s not one human’s responsible to be aware of everyone’s sensitivities at all times. Over breeding, not enough resources and destroying the literal things that gives us life.

Look at all those trees cut down for that new apartment complex for all those useless humans that will do the SAME exact thing as 472846261572827361 people who felt entitled to breed without any conscious thought of the long term consequences of the planet. We have no intention of sustaining. We are going to burn and burn and burn until we have burnt everything up. We are fucking robots with guts. 1/2 the fucking humans don’t have a personality except for jumping on a big band wagon (sports music internet), work all the time and have sex. We are taking up so much space and killing so many things for no reason.

Ironic how we kill dandelions but they do more good to the world in overpopulation than we do.

Ironic how we learned to communicate and build cool stuff and suddenly nothing else, even ourselves, matters.

I try so hard every day to live and be like you “normals” you political thinkers. But it didn’t even take me 15 years to realize that this government bullshit isn’t working AT ALL pretty much anywhere.. This earth does nothing but give and all you do is take. This Earth is working to death for us and we go out of our way to destroy it. I do not want to be apart of you. You have destroyed this planet, you all acknowledge it and do not care.

The human species is awful.

I don’t not love or hate them I simply do not care.

To me that means I am not bias. Or perhaps my only bias is that I have never in my entire existence met someone who thinks like me. Yet I’ve never met someone who has (actual) reason to hate my ideology.

I do not speak worrying if/who I will offend in the room. I do not care about telling people exactly why they are wrong.

I do believe there is a right and wrong answer for literally everything, perhaps there is more than one right answer, yes. But there is definitely wrong ones. It’s absolutely ignorant to ignore that ideas are wrong and encourage them for personal gain coughbrainsexcough.

The human species is selfish and tries its hardest to filter everything to everyone’s weaknesses. When in reality it’s only making us weaker. A kid who is unvaccinated and never exposed to the outside world is more likely to get sick than someone exposed to the true toxicity. To see the true toxicity is what will make us change. Sad but true. It always takes riots, violence, death and suffering for things to change. Things just can’t change they always have to hit rock bottom to prove they are bad bad. It’s gunna take 20 years when the HRT hormones end up being reverse chemo. Or when a gang of black men finally get sick of the fucking police brutality and walk into a police station and slaughters 20 cops. It will take a few 10 years olds getting raped in the target bathroom by dudes in dresses. It will take a bunch of schizophrenics and psychotics burning a hospital down with themselves inside to escape the staff abuse. Or a massive and overpopulated prison getting overthrown and they take over a whole town. Hell sometimes even the worst doesn’t work. If all these mass shootings meant anything to anyone theyd fix up our fucking mental health systems. Nah it will be a fucking gun war of course. It will be about POLITICS and not in 2019 kids are being FORCED to go to potential war zones for an education that doesn’t do them much fucking good anyway.

It always takes the worst.

The earth deserves better than us. Hell we deserve better than what we give ourselves. The Earth is more magical than you will ever begin to comprehend. You all preach about loving god but the very ground you walk on is the only “god” that has ever existed.

So fuck your safe spaces.....

Rot like you let this beautiful planet.

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cardshcrp · 6 years ago

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WIZARDING VERSE.

SUMMARY

Also known as the verse where Jean-Luc LeBeau went hey, you know what though? My kid is all grown up. I'm adopting this one. I don't care if it's a Veela. You know what would be really funny too? I'm going to make this kid my heir to piss off all the other purebloods and probably send them to magic school too. What are they gonna do, question me? I'm rich. Or, the story of how Remy LeBeau tries very hard to get through wizarding school and has to dye his hair every three days, tries not to burst into flames, and is a little tired of having to wear a Beauxbatons uniform even on exchange to Hogwarts, as it involves a cravat and he can be summed up effectively as a French blueberry.

TIMELINE

Jean-Luc LeBeau visits a Veela community in Hungary, offering a trade deal for Veela-made trinkets to be sold in his establishment in order to provide the village a way to rebuild after damages sustained in the war. He does this through a member of the community he had adventured with in his younger years and who in good standing vouched for him; the deal is accepted and contract-writing begins in earnest.

A few months into the agreement and on one of his visits, Jean-Luc witnesses his old friend’s daughter have an illegitimate child and attempt to pass it off to her mother, refusing to take responsibility for it. Adelaide is uncertain, and Jean-Luc offers a compromise, promising to take the child and raise it as his own, as his only son is now an adult and he has plenty of time and resources. Eventually the family agrees, and Jean-Luc takes the child back to France with him, calling in several favors with the Ministry in order to register the baby Athalie as an orphaned Muggle-born witch and adopt her* as his own, also placing a falsified Trace that will not react to any Veela-specific magical use.

Jean-Luc promptly learns that Veela babies are rather volatile, and is forced to come up with many, many excuses as to why he is repairing numerous singed portions of his home, but dotes on his new daughter anyway.

At around the age of seven, the first signs of dysphoria and distress begin to emerge, and while Jean-Luc and Henri have no prior experience with these matters they encourage Remy to express himself as he pleases. Ministry records are altered again to reflect that he is male.

At age eleven, Remy enters Beauxbatons as a first-year student, as per his request. He makes the clear decision to remain in the wizarding world rather than return to a Veela community and in fact decides that he will take over the family business later, much to Jean-Luc’s delight, and is named heir to the LeBeau house. Having developed a complex routine to perform nonverbal magic but disguise it as best as possible by simply speaking spells in class and wearing a glamour to color his hair, Remy is able to start passing as a mediocre wizard. He keeps a cat named Oliver, who suffers the tragic fate of always wearing a very large bow round his neck.

In his third year, Remy becomes a Chaser for the Beauxbatons Quidditch team. He also hits puberty, resulting in natural Veela charm emerging and leading to more than a few awkward confessions from his classmates and silently confused male students.

At fifth year, Jean-Luc requests (and is granted) permission to allow Remy to study as an exchange at Hogwarts under premise of wanting him to be comfortable internationally with other wizards, as he will be running an international business. The length of his stay will vary according to interaction, but the default is set to one academic year.

Remy eventually scrapes by as a mediocre wizard with a specialty in potions and an odd proficiency for fire magic. After his graduation he takes over as proprietor of LeBeau’s Curiosities, with his older brother Henri taking care of finances and his father often running the shop while he travels seeking new inventory. His overall reputation is that he is very attractive, a bit odd, but pleasant, and while a few people may have their suspicions, they don’t attempt to pursue them.

* Remy is referred to as female and birth name here as he is an actual baby and has not grown to an age where he can express his identity, and so this is what his father called him prior to that point, obviously.

ASIDES

Can be set in a few different time periods for convenience, but typically hovers at the end of the First Wizarding War, meaning Remy’s birth was ~1971.

The LeBeau family is, more or less, essentially French pureblood royalty in the wizarding world, having emigrated from Ethiopia about three centuries prior and in excellent community standing. This means that a - Remy’s adoption was an absolutely massive scandal, particularly because Jean-Luc claimed he was Muggle-born, and b - he is unfortunately quite used to attempts at matchmaking as the attractive heir to a very wealthy home. Part of the reason he decided to go to Hogwarts for a bit was to avoid the Boudreauxs’ pushing for an arranged marriage.

As a Veela, he has a few more struggles and a few less worries than your average wizard. For instance, most magical creatures will not attack him - he is perceived as very pretty and generally harmless to most of them. (Though by contrast some may wish to keep him, which can be equally problematic.) He also has an affinity for fire magic, and an unconscious charm that makes him rather appealing to most people. His dance and song, were he to exercise them, would be literally enchanting, so he doesn’t. He also has a very quick temper that he isn’t able to express without outing himself as a magical creature, and thus struggles to keep it in check, meaning sometimes he just storms off without explanation. He also tends to be excessively snarky because of this, as he’s generally on edge to at least some degree.

According to canon lore, Veela are predominantly biological female. One possible reason that they are so seductive to (particularly AMAB people of) other species may be due to this imbalance, which might have simply been the result of evolution through the years. Since they are already known to be compatible sexually with humans, it’s also reasonable to assume that they’re compatible sexually with most humanoids, possibly as an innate method of species preservation, whether or not it is exercised.

His hair grows quite quickly and dye doesn’t last long in it at all, but is more practical than expending energy on glamours constantly, so after his first year he simply learned to cut and dye his hair every few days. If he forgets to, silver-blonde roots may be visible and lead to questioning.

In order to have a passable wand at all, the family had to commission one made with Remy’s own hair as the core. (Ollivander would be horrified.) As a result he is somewhat able to channel through it, which helps him scrape by in spellcasting courses, but the scope of his natural abilities does not change and his affinities lie mainly in pyromanipulation and magic to do with appearance, though he is capable of other minor feats such as extremely basic telekinesis and some divination.

Remy has found that Muggle medical science does not appear to work on his physiology, and that any gender reassignment in magical terms is beyond his capability and his family’s, so it should be noted that he has not changed in body whatsoever and so just binds his chest and expresses as male, with glamours to reflect facial hair and the like later in his life.

LeBeau’s is a traveling magic shop that appears in set locations all over the globe without a set schedule (because Jean-Luc is petty and likes watching snooty aristocrats trip over themselves to buy the fancy things before he disappears again). It is known for having a knack at recovering lost family treasures, and does offer less powerful and pricey trinkets for more casual browsers, much to some patrons’ dismay. Locations include: Diagon Alley, a Moroccan market, the New Orleans vodun community, Hogsmeade, Paris, Cairo, and a few more.

Triwizard plotting is also available, with Remy either as a competitor or accompanying hopeful.

tagging @prctettcre since this is your fault; i feel like @noxtm may have asked me about a verse at some point and my sad, tired butt didn’t get around to it. and @deviltoothed ’cause i tag you in everything.

#AU INFO.#♣ AU — WIZARDING.

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almond-assistant · 6 years ago

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A very long rant and my opinions on neofeminism

Keep in mind that these are very opinionated, and I really don’t wanna fight with you. I’m only posting this so people know where I stand with this stuff, and so they know what kind of person I am.

Inequality: (the fake scenario here is metaphorical and also taken from a youtube video) Imagine there was a short person and a tall person, and there's a wall. In order to see over it, both people are given a stool of equal height to stand on. The tall person is still taller, and can see farther. Instead of giving the taller person a shorter stool, or a short person a taller stool, how about we give nobody a stool. Instead, give them equal materials to build their stool. Equal opportunity does not mean an equal outcome.

Wage Gap: That thing? It's non-existent; women are actually 'out-earning' men, according to literally every governmental source. And if the wage gap existed, it'd be illegal, considering women recieved equal rights in America in 1972.

Transphobia: Trans people are propped up and given all sorts of support in society! I remember at one point I considered myself transgender (I'm still queer-identifying fyi), and I was treated just as well, if not better, than most kids at my high school. And you know how you guys are so "supportive" of trans-men? Well, guess what. By not grouping him in with the cis men, you are therefore being transphobic by invalidating his identity, implying he is not like the cis man, as he would like to be seen as. Do you call a trans guy a rapist, like a cis man? No. Do you consider him sexist, like the cis man? Of course not! Even if he is, you wouldn't DARE accuse him of that! Right? Because he's an owo smol trans flower boy. By rubbing it in everybody's faces that you/someone you know is trans, you are therefore negating the fact that they'd like to be treated like a cisgendered person in the first place. Same goes for trans-women. FYI, I completely support real trans people!

Transtrenders: Super transphobic! If you want to be babied and called uwu smol then go join the adult baby community. You want to be queer? Just don't label yourself trans! Want attention? Go join a fucking talent show or something idk. Don't have dysphoria? What's the point in calling yourself the opposite gender? I don't get that. Wanna be a futa catgirl? I... I don't even know. Please stop that. Sexualizing trans/intersex people is transphobic. Trying to fit in? I get that. I did that. But please, please. don't rub it in everyone's faces. I actually DO have a bit of social dysphoria, but I used to make it a bigger deal than it should've been.

Patriarchy: I agree that patriarchy doesn't work. But, patriarchy is also basically gone, so I don't agree that it's this really big deal you guys make it out to be. On the other hand, matriarchy doesn't work well either. It takes both genders for lots of things to run smoothly. There are highly positioned women and men. That's what makes systems work, including reproduction and all that jazz. So basically, men are in fact needed. Stop treating them like shit. If you got rid of men, we'd go extinct. I know there's this thing with women's bone marrow or whatever, but that's not really relevant, and it isn't even guaranteed to work. By separating women from men, you are therefore being sexist, because equality doesn't have anything to do with gender. It's like if x=y, then y=x, y=y, and x=x. If x and y was female and male, or literally any gender, this would be the goal of feminism by definition. Without the belief that women are currently in a lesser position in society, neo-feminism falls flat. Speaking of which, you always focus on women, why aren't you including all of the other "genders"? Isn't that a bit sexist of you? Society is giving women everything they don't deserve. That's not equality. And yet you still think women are opressed.

Rape Culture: And before you rush to the comments with "You don't know what it's like to be sexually harassed!", I do, and that's why this topic ticks me off so much. Anyway, by labeling all men as rapists, you are therefore being sexist. And, even though you guys say men/boys can't be raped, they have been, and can be. Males are actually sexually exploited more than women. Furthermore, women can be rapists. Consent doesn't apply to just the woman. If a woman wants to have sex with a guy and he says no, yet she forces him to, it's still rape. Legal sexual interactions require both parties involved to give consent. I read a post on here that said something to the effect of, "If you don't have sex with a fat woman, you're raping her". That... boggles my mind.

Ableism: I have mental illnesses too, so this also pisses me off. I mean, I get that some people are wheelchair-bound or don't have the same mental abilities as a neurotypical person. I think it's great that we're helping to accomodate these people! But when you call everything that could even possibly leave out someone other than the neurotypicals ableist, it's frustrating. Literally anything could be ableist or classist. Eating pizza? No, this is ableist because some people have diabetes and can't eat certain things. Running gear? Ableist. Some people have to use wheelchairs, either because they were born paralyzed in the legs, or because they're too obese to move. Brain exercises? No, get that out of here. That's offensive to people with autism or the like, because their brains don't work like that, and it implies they're not good enough. therapy? Kill it with fire. You're saying we neurodivergents are not ok? It's like you don't care about people that want to get better. There's such thing as a target audience, so now let's see.. Pizza? Oh! That's for people who want a quick, cheap, and easy meal! Running gear? That's meant to interst people who enjoy being fit and maintaining their cardiovascular health. Wheelchair-bound folks have specialized exercises for keeping their muscles healthy. Running would not be as effective of a way for them to do that. Brain exercises? For people who want to keep their brain sharp and improve certain areas where they might have weaknesses. Again, people such as my brother (who has medium-high functioning autism) can have special exercises provided to them. But when companies manufacture products that leave out the neurotypical person, nobody thinks twice. So much for equality.

Fatphobia: I do agree that this one exists, although I've never experienced it myself, since I myself have problems gaining weight and keeping it on. I'm actually guilty of fatphobia, but hear me out. I don't mind if you're overweight, as long as others don't have to make special accomodations at no cost to the one being accomodated. If you're 500+ pounds and/or you need a wheelchair and two seats on a plane, I'm calling you out. There's no way you could be that fat without doing it to yourself or having a disability. I don't mind these things if you do have a disability, I understand you couldn't control it then. But if you're just sitting in your bed all day stuffing your face with cheese curls, you have no right to whine about fatphobia, as you could've easily prevented it. Mental disorders such as depression or anxiety that may lower your motivation so low that you don't care, I also get, since I've been in that situation plenty of times. Regardless though, I will not say you are beautiful. This is my personal opinion, and I know others may find obesity attractive, or even erotic (which is in itself fatphobic), but I do not. There are people who don't actually find it pretty, but still say it is. Please stop that. Speak your mind, yo. It's kinda sad that others shape your views, and if you don't agree entirely with the flock, you're not one of them, yknow? That's like... a cult or something.

Classism: I'm soft on this one, since I've been in and out of financial stability throughout my childhood and it sorta fucked me up. But again, calling everything classist is just not right. Songs about fancy cars and diamonds are praising the lush life, not making lower classes feel bad. If anything, those songs help them work harder to achieve their own dreams and have their own great life. But again, it's all about the target audience.

Racism: Racism was originally based off of fear and confusion. Other races had never seen a different skin color than their people's, and thought they were a different breed or species. The reason europeans and americans viewed africans as animals, is because they didn't know what else they could be. African society wasn't as developed, and the African people exhibited very primitive behaviors, as opposed to the educated caucasian. After a while, the african people taken to other lands as slaves, started to dislike that life and form their own opinions and values. The white people learned that the Africans were just humans of a different color, and eventually softened up a bit. But they couldn't abandon their ways of life, so the slaves slaved on, and the rich got richer. These values passed through generations, and eventually someone said, "Stop, these are people too, let's set em' free.". Though, yes, some families still teach their children to be racist, they don't imprison them anymore. Schools do a very good job of describing the treacheries of racism and slavery so it doesn't happen again. Most of my friends (and my boyfriend who I love so so much) are of color, in one way or another. Shit, I'm like, an eighth native american. I do consider myself white though, I'm Norwegian and Irish, for the most part. But I'll still honor my roots. Anyway, even modern racism is still based on fear. Islamophobia stems from terrorism, Black violence comes from stories of gangs and police shootings, and lots of other xenophobia stems from stereotypes. I'm completely against racism, trust me. But when you separate white from black and call white people scum, and call people of color 'strong, independent', and discard white people, it's kinda confusing. Racism applies to race, and caucasian is a race. Get it together.

Cisphobia: That exists. Cisgenderism/Heterosexuality are still identities, whether you want them to be or not.

Sexualities: Cool, You like people (Or you don't, if you're ace/aro). I know these sexualities were shunned before but most people are really accepting now! Just not the weird demonsexual things. Some people don't understand that too much. I sure don't.

Genders: Same as sexualities, don't get too crazy and people are cool w/ it.

Mogai and Neopronouns: Shit, get them out of here. You're making actual LGBT+ people look like a joke.

Anything I didn't mention that you'd like to hear my opinion on? Leave an ask! All interaction is welcome, though not all is wanted. Regardless, I'll try to be kind to you. I really have no reason to be rude to you if I don't know too much about you.

-Kevyn (almondassistant)

#I'm not gonna fight with you #please don't kill me #opinions #uwu?????#neofeminism #feminism #queer

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cumulohimbus · 3 years ago

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So like, I've been off tumblr for so long I don't really remember who follows me who also knows me in real life, but if you're one of those people, kindly ignore the following. I feel ashamed of how sad it's prolly going to be and I also want to preserve the thoughts for later contemplation (and frankly I'm curious if anyone else may have also experienced these kinds of feelings though I don't expect many to see what's written here).

I saw a post that said something like "I forgive the world because it has you" and I experienced just this overwhelming horror and grief. It was as if in a single heartbeat I scanned through everyone and everything in my life and I realized with a chilling certainty that there is (currently) no other human in my life that means so much to me that I could forgive the world my existence. I mean, I have my cat, and I have friends and family and I have memories of people I cared so much for that their love motivated me to survive.

They've been gone for a while, some of them for years, others only for a few months, and yet, I'm still surviving. This isn't even me contemplating my reasons for surviving; I think I know a decent amount of those, it's just...I'm surprised. I'm shocked because I'm doing it, I'm... surviving even though I feel, on a deep, it almost feels like a cellular or even atomic level, that I am not supposed to be a human, that I don't belong here.

I recently decided to label this feeling as "species dysphoria" but I don't think it's in the same sense as I've heard those words used before. I don't mean that I feel like I'm supposed to be a different organism, I mean, sometimes I have those feelings and instincts, but this is more the sensation that my consciousness isn't supposed to be attached to my physical form, maybe even to not exist at all.

And I'm not saying that in a s**c*dal way, like, it's a deeply sad, confusing, and disorienting feeling to experience to be sure, and certainly it's been making me feel ideative for a massive portion of my life, but this feels so...physiologically innate? I don't know how to word it without it sounding like just plain depression (or perhaps delusion)...maybe that's all it is, idk. I've had this feeling for as long as I can remember though, as if all the electrical impulses that make up my consciousness ended up in this body as a glitch or accident; it's like all my atoms weren't meant to end up arranged in my current shape and being; they were meant to be other things, they were meant to be free...

This existence has been hard and uncomfortable and abrasive and so, so fucking lonely. There have been things...people, that have made it less so. They're gone now and they are so rare to begin with. I don't know what is sustaining me, sometimes I think I catch glimpses of it. I think it has something to do with the Earth themself. I only know that I am here, sleep-walking, alone, something other than human trapped inside a human's body. Seeing that post made me afraid and sad again at how little I seem to belong amongst other humans.

#species dysphoria #innate nonbelonging #physiological dissonance #loneliness #grief #for future reference

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taimatrolls · 7 years ago

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Space Fairies - Stardust Pixies - Cosmic Fae

(click for google-docs if reading on the blog is hard)

All over the universe they’ve given birth to stories and legends of their kind, and whether they are real or not is often up for speculation. They are small and colorful, magical and adventurous, and they’ve been around since the beginning of time…

Commonly known as Space Fairies, these little guys have a lust for adventure and makes great travelling companions, are you lucky enough to befriend one.

Personality

Chaotic, adventurous, curious and playful are things that would describe the average Space Fairy. They live for new experiences and are always on the move, looking for new knowledge and new adventures - and friends.

While they may be shy at first, Space Fairies are a very social species and curiosity wins them over as they approach others. They often make friends with other aliens across the universe, often attaching themselves to one they decide is now their best friend, and following them along wherever they go - whether they like it or not.

They aren’t always the easiest to deal with however. Space Fairies are rather emotional, and will often feel each and every emotion very strongly. If they are happy, they are HAPPY, if they are sad, they are SAD. Some might say they are very tiny drama-queens, but at least they seldom hold grudges for very long, although of course their personalities vary as much as they do for any other race, so you never know.

Appearance

Space Fairies are tiny beings, standing at merely 20-30 cm in height. While they may look like colorful, bobble-headed humans with insect wings at first glance, you will soon notice many other features that distinguish them from humans.

Anatomy

Along with their rather big heads, they also have big, pointed ears, usually a bit droopy, and big eyes with a dark sclera and glowing pupils. They have no distinguished noses, and their mouths are small. They have white teeth that are usually rather human-like, though some of them have pointed canines.

The hair is fluffy and incredibly soft with a texture much like mohair. It keeps growing slowly through the fairy’s life, although much like others, they may cut and style it to their liking.

Their limbs are rather long, legs often taking up more than half the body’s height. Hands and feet often seem a little bit big in contrast to the arms.

Their feet have three toes, two long ones pointing forward and one small that comes out from the heel. The toes are flexible and strong, and can be used as a second pair of hands in some cases, though they are mainly meant for gripping. Their hands however, look much like that of a human, albeit they have only three fingers and one thumb.

Wings

No two fairies have the exact same shape of wings, although some structures and basic shapes repeats. The wings look a bit like colorful insect wings and come in sets of two or, in very rare cases, three. They look like they could be made out of paper-thin crystal, but are soft and flexible to the touch.

Colors and Patterns

Fairies comes in all colors and countless of patterns. They may be striped, freckly, or have spots and spirals across their body. It’s not unusual for these patterns or part of them to be bioluminescent, and all in all, the fairies themselves can glow upon will.

Gender

Space Fairies are completely sex and gender-less. Gender is a concept they might pick up from other species and choose to identify by, but physically they are all “the same”.

Other Features

There are features some fairies have, but others don’t that show up every once in a while, such as horns, antennas, tails and fin-like webbing growing from the calf and lower arms, or even thorns in some especially rare cases.

Distribution

Space Fairies has no homeworld of their own, but sees the entirety of the Universe as their playground. For them, “home”, is a fleeting concept they’ve borrowed from other species they’ve come across.

Space Fairies appear all over the universe, either in Fairy Swarms, on their own, or in companionship with someone they met on their quest for self discovery.

Despite their wide range, they are still seen as quite rare as they show up far apart.

Life Cycle

Space fairies doesn’t age. From the moment they are hatched, til the day they die, they have the same physical shape.

For a new fairy to come to life, a Fairy Swarm must first pick out a fitting space rock, preferably one caught in a safe orbit around a planet or star. The Fairies of the swarm will then each approach the rock and bless it by giving it a gentle kiss, thus feeding it with love. After this, the swarm will dance and sing around their chosen rock, a ritual that brings life to its core.

After the ritual, the swarm leaves the rock behind, and for many years to come it will change shape and eventually crystallize into a Fairy Egg.

Once the egg hatches, the swarm is long gone, and it’s up for the new fairy to fend for itself. This may seem cruel to many, but is very much part of their culture and who they are. A newly hatched fairy is hatched with inherited knowledge, and nothing like the children of many other species. All in all, they are “adult” from the moment they hatch.

This is when the quest for self discovery begins. A young fairy will spend possibly thousands of years to travel the galaxies, adventure, and find companions on alien planets. It’s all up to them when they feel like they are “done”, and when they do, they will hear a calling that will lead them to a Fairy Swarm much like the one that created them. Some of them never return to their kind.

There is no dying of old age for fairies, unless they die of depression, heartbreak, are killed, or give up their life for another to live, most will just live on for eternity. That is, until they feel ready to move on, and die, to possibly be hatched anew.

When a Space Fairy die, their bodies wither away and turns into stardust.

Fairy Swarms

Fairy Swarms can consist of anything from 20-500 fairies, sometimes more, that travels the galaxies together. While traveling, they sing, dance, and share stories of their many adventures with each other and anyone they may come across.

Linguistics

Space Fairies are naturals when it comes to linguistics, and their own language is a mix of million other languages they’ve picked up that sound like singing when they speak. They are sometimes called “Space Parrots”, because they can mimic any noise or sound they hear.

When exposed to a new language, it takes the fairy merely days before they can speak it near fluently themselves, which makes them especially popular as companions since they work as tiny translators as well.

Relationships

While fairies doesn't have our concept of love and relationships and partnership isn’t something that naturally occur among fairies, friendship is something they value very highly.

Now, since unlike fairies, most of the friends they make does age, they are bound to survive their alien friends… Most aliens they meet they might only travel with for as long as it’s exciting enough, but if it’s someone they end up with an especially strong bond to it’s not unusual for them to stay by their side til they pass away.

In fact, it’s not unusual a fairy end up having a favorite person of sorts they get attached to and will follow everywhere as a companion, and this person is almost never another fairy. What is unusual however, yet not unheard of, is a fairy falling in love.

It does happen that, a fairy give up their immortality to become one of the same kind as their beloved if they feel like they can't truly be with them the way they wish in their fairy form. However, it comes at a high price, and they will lose all magic and their immortality and connection to their own kind. Something that for many is very emotionally traumatic, especially with the dysphoria that might come with a new body of the kind.

For a fairy who’s made this choice there is no return.

Emotional Vulnerability

As previously mentioned, Space Fairies feels very strongly, and often with one feeling dominating above the rest. Their feelings are, in many ways their strength, but also their greatest weakness.

For a fairy, depression is a physical illness as much as it’s a mental one, and for them it’s very much deadly. Thus, it’s in a literal sense one might say a heart break could kill a fairy.

Many times have travelers in space caught fairies, trying to keep or sell them as exotic pets, only for them to turn depressed when their freedom is stolen and die so soon there was no point in the trade.

Magical Abilities

All fairies possess magical abilities, although not all fairies possess the same ones, there are a number of abilities they all have in common:

Invisibility - A fairy can turn invisible with no effort, as if it’s a natural state.

Create light - While fairies can see in most dark spaces with little to no effort, they can create lights of various colors and control them at will.

Resurrection - If a fairy so wish, they may give up their own life to resurrect and heal someone who just passed.

These abilities aside, it’s not unusual for a fairy to have one or two other unique powers such as:

Shape shifting

Elemental powers

Teleportation

Healing

Telekinesis

And so on….

Fairy Dust - Star Dust

Fairy dust, fairy dandruff, what they leave behind now and then as they fly about, and what they turn into when they die… Maybe it’s not very surprising it has magical abilities on its own?

Fairy Dust contains raw magic, and is good for magical potions and spells. When simply thrown upon someone, it can also grant them levitation powers for a limited time.

It is also said to have a peculiar taste… That is, that when a good person taste it, it taste sweet, while for a bad person, it taste bitter. Now why anyone would want to put fairy dust in their mouths in the first place is a good question I don’t know the answer of, but people are being weird is not new.

Fairy Swarm Wishes

According to legend, if you’re lucky enough to come across a Space Fairy Swarm, they can grant you a wish.

However, remember, it’s only one wish and no more, so be careful what you wish for.

Other Facts

Fairies themselves doesn’t really care for clothes, but often end up dressing whatever way seem fitting for the alien culture they are with. They are especially fond of colorful and sparkling things.

Fairies doesn’t need to eat, but many enjoys it.

A wounded fairy bleeds a thick, sparkling, dark fluid that turns into fairy dust when it dries.

While fairies can survive most environments, such as extreme heat, cold, and even vacuum, they are fragile to touch and not very physically strong up close… This means they are technically “easy” to crush or cut, but their speed makes up for it, making them incredibly hard to catch in the first place.

It is said that fairies bring good luck!

Fairies talking with each other sound like a confusing sing-song babbel because of their habit to mix languages together.

They often have many names that they’ve been given by friends of various species in various languages, although some may feel extra attached to one name and make the choice to introduce themselves as such.

Fairies stay “childlike” all their life, not as children literally, but in how they are bright eyed, curious, eager to learn and usually quite optimistic.

When out in space, a fairy can travel by the speed of light, which is how they reach different planets. This takes a lot of energy for them though.

#space fairies #alien #original species #closed species #taimas art #not fantrolls #there they fucking are

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ungerbur · 4 years ago

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A dash response to @quicklyseverebird (Long post incoming, on account of the gish-gallop)

- “Some places” is not quantifiable. No weasel words, please. If you can provide proof or sources for this actually being the case, I’ll let off the point.

- There has never been legal action pressed for refusing to acknowledging someone as they/them or xe/xer, or at least I haven’t seen it. What I have seen is litigation against landlords, renters, and employers who refuse to acknowledge a given person’s gender expression, which is discrimination, to the letter.

- As mentioned, no random civilian is going to be carted off by the paddy-wagon for using the “wrong word”. Denial of service or housing for immutable traits is the clincher here.

Again, no legality enters into the picture here; You’re free to believe what you want (wrong as it is), but it does not exempt you from being challenged where you’re incorrect, or a plain asshole.

Tangent #1:

- Straw-manning again with “your side”. You don’t know what I think or what I believe inherently, and I’d appreciate it if you stopped pretending like you did, or that it earned you Argument Points(tm)

- Sex and gender are different, and you’re not going to find any trans individual under the delusion that their physical attributes are always in line with their preferred gender identity, so you might want to abandon this bad point too.

- For all the words you put out, you seem to have a problem with providing sources and citations. But with the numbers I’ve seen on assaults, maybe cis women should be banned from these spaces and institutions, as they commit said crimes far more often. Or maybe, this isn’t a gender issue, as much as it is a bad-person issue. Which makes more sense to you?

- Anecdote Andy over here lmao “I saw a post today”, of course I should just assume that these people did nothing to incite or provoke this kind of reaction. If it DID happen, of course, since you can’t seem to provide said posts.

Tangent #2

- Why do they need to bring up anything biological? Gender isn’t biological, silly-pants. Gender is not a term that exists in nature, outside of human experience or understanding. Arguably sex isn’t, either, but we can attribute certain functions and deviations by way of sex. This goes for race, age, and species as well. These terms are useful in a very material sense, but gender is something that is a lot less concrete.

- Of course I’m sure you’re gearing up to go into yet another tirade about how sex and gender are inextricably linked, and how language, and the meanings we derive from words do not evolve or change over, because you happen to have lots of books on the subject. And that’s nice, but you’ll find that modern behavioral and social science disagrees with you at nearly every turn, so I’ll stop you while you’re behind.

- And then once we start talking about “inner feelings”, it leaves me wondering if you’ve ever looked into this study: https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2016/gender-lines-science-transgender-identity/ It was very informative to me at least, and it seems to speak to the idea that people experiencing dysphoria may find it coming from somewhere physical. I’d recommend giving it a read.

- And finally we hit the end of the circus for the most blatantly tasteless and uncharitable analogy that I’ve seen in a long while. Nobody has or will ever ask you for anything close to such concessions. You mentioned before that you began to refer to your sibling by their new name so as not to be antagonistic.

Why are they the exception and not the rule? Is it because you find it silly, or distasteful, for people to act in a way you don’t believe they should? That they don’t comport to your vision of decency and convention, while you refuse to learn or empathize? And then you get sad, dejected when people call you an asshole for...Being an asshole. Because you must be right, you have to be in order for the world to make sense! It’s a madhouse out there!

But hey, I’m here to tell you it’s okay to be wrong. Just don’t be a dick about it.

As an aside, how do you feel about puberty blockers? I feel like a lot of the fears and concerns you’ve mentioned here would be completely alleviated if they were more widely provided.

#tw transphobia #tw debate bro #tw politics #longpost #trans rights

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