#is it so bad to realise that and take it in so you can pull urself through?

[scribblesofagoonerr]

new year, new chaos | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

summary: it's a brand new year and with it, there's a lot more chaos around the corner.

double the trouble masterlist

"Oh, bollocks..."

You stare at the pregnancy test in your hands, frozen in disbelief. The tiny bathroom suddenly feels too small, too hot, too much.

The newfound nausea that you've been plagued with for weeks? Well, that mystery's solved. But now your stomach churns for a completely different reason-- sheer panic.

"No, no, this cannot be happening. This can't be right, can it?" You mumble, pacing back and forth. The words on the digital test stare back at you, bold and unrelenting.

Pregnant.

"God, it was that damn stupid vodka," You whisper, eyes widening in realisation, "Oh, man. I'm never drinking again. Never. I swear."

A sharp knock on the door interrupts your spiral.

"Monkey?" Keira's voice rings out from the other side, "Is that you in there? What's taking so long? I need the bathroom!"

"Uh, fu... Just a sec!" You scramble, wrapping the test in layers of toilet paper like it's some incriminating piece of evidence and hide it behind your back, "I'm... I'm comin' out now." You yank the door open, flashing an unconvincing smile.

Keira takes one look at your pale, panicked face and frowns, "Geesh, you look a bit worse for wear. Did we party a bit too hard last night, eh?"

You shrug, trying to play it cool, "Uh, maybe, I guess so..."

"Wait a minute," The older girls' eyes narrow as realisation dawns, "You didn't drink last night, you were practically drinking J2O all night... Oh my God, Monkey! Are you--?"

"Shh!" You hiss, grabbing her arm and dragging her into the bathroom before slamming the door shut, "Okay, listen, I need to show-- Actually, no, I need to tell you something."

Keira arches an eyebrow, "Alright, hit me with it. What's going on?"

You sigh, running a hand through your hair, "I'm late."

"Late?" Keira repeats, confused, "Like for something? You should really keep a better track of the time..."

"No, late late. My period," You clarify, cheeks burning.

Keira's eyebrows shoot up, "How late?"

"Like... Four or five days," You admit, scratching the back of your neck with your free hand.

"Oh, that's not too bad. It could be nothing. It could just be stress--"

"It's not," You cut her off, sheepishly pulling the test out from behind her back and unravelling the tissue. The words "4 weeks pregnant" are still there, glaring at both of you.

Keira's jaw drops, "Fuckin' hell-- Are you... Are you serious?" She asks in a hushed tone of voice.

"I mean, unless this test is lying..." You trail off, shoving it back in the bin like you can make it disappear, "I need your help, Auntie Kei. My mums are gonna kill me."

Keira lets out a low whistle, shaking her head, "Wow. Okay. Uh... Right. First of all, breathe. Second, we'll figure this out."

You groan, sinking onto the toilet lid, "I'm so screwed, aren't I?"

"Well..." Keira smirks, "I'm not the one who has to tell Leah Williamson that she's gonna be a Nana before she's 30."

"You're not helping helping!" You snap, burying your face in your hands, "I... I don't know anything about babies! What if I drop it or something? And my career-- God, it's all over!"

Keira crouches in front of you, her tone softening, "Hey, relax, Monkey. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna figure this out, alright? You're not the first footballer to have a baby. Your career isn't over. And as for Leah..." She pauses, her smirk returning, "Well, good luck. But hey, I'm here for moral support."

You groan again, completely muffled behind your hands, "I'm dead. I'm completely dead."

“How did it happen?” Keira asks,  her voice a mixture of concern and curiosity.

You exhale shakily, glancing away for a moment before speaking, “The night we won against Bayern. Me and some of the other girls went out for drinks to celebrate…”

You vividly recall the night – Champions League group stages: Arsenal Vs. Bayern Munich.

“Be sensible, and don’t drink too much!” Leah warned you before you got into the Uber with some of the other girls, all of you heading to the club, “If you need me to pick you up, text me, alright?”

Leah had opted out of joining the team for the night, choosing instead a quiet evening at home with Buddy and the rest of her family. 

But you? You were feeling on top of the world. The win was secure, and the celebrations were already in full swing.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be grand. I’ll see you in a bit!” You waved her off, climbing inside the Uber and flopping down on the seat beside Kyra, “Next top, we’re goin’ the club!”

You, Kyra, Laura, Alessia and Vic ended up staying out long after the others had left the club, swept up in the thrill of victory. You were high on adrenaline, letting loose after weeks of intense training in preparation for the game.

But now it was over, and you could celebrate. 

And damn, did you celebrate that night.

“Monkey!” Kyra’s voice called out from across the bar, “Ere’, go on an have another shot of this!”

You glanced over, shrugging and grabbed the shot. You throw it back in one go, grimacing instantly, “Er, that’s absolutely rank. What is it?” You ask, rubbing your throat.

“Vodka,” Vic grins, slapping you on the back, “Drink up, and I’ll get us another one!”

“Eh, why not?” You laughed, having too much of a great time to really take note of the effect of the alcohol in your system, “Ugh, it burns the back of my throat, but damn, that’s good. Next rounds on me!”

You remember how the drinks flowed freely that night, and laughter filled the air. For the first time in a long while, you felt completely at ease. The pressure of football, the endless expectations – Gone, at least for that night.

You lean back in your seat, remembering, “God, we were all so drunk. I barely even remember what happened after that.”

At some point during the night, you’d found yourself outside, leaning against the wall, drink in one hand, vape in the other. The buzz from the alcohol clouded your judgment.

And then he walked up.

You didn’t even catch his name, and as far as you were concerned, he was just another lad who’d joined the party – A friend smile and flirtatious wink, and before you knew it, you were talking, laughing, and then…

A kiss. Just one. That somehow led to more, a mix of adrenaline, vodka and whatever else that made you lose control.

It wasn’t planned, and it definitely wasn’t intentional. It just… happened.

Now, sitting here with Keira, the panic begins to settle in. All you can think about is that night – The stupid decision, the heat of the moment, how everything can change in an instant.

You grimace, suddenly remembering a faint detail from that night, “You wanna know the worst thing I found out?”

“What’s that?” Keira quirks an eyebrow.

“The lads’ a Spurs fan,” You mutter, pretending to gag at the thought of it, “I don’t know what I was even thinking goin’ there.”

Keira lets out a low chuckle, shaking her head in amusement, “Oh dear. I wish you good luck with that one then,” She teases, her tone light, though there’s an underlying sympathy.

You bury your face in your hands, groaning, “My mum’s gonna kill me alone on that, never mind the fact I’m pregnant.”

“I never realised how quiet it is around the house without the girls being here,” Elle remarks, swirling a glass of wine as she lounges on the sofa with Leah tucked up beside her, while Keira sits nearby, sharing a rare moment of calm.

Keira has decided to extend her visit for a few more days before heading back to Spain, stretches her legs out lazily, and nods in agreement.

“Monkey’s still here though, right?” Elle adds, glancing toward Leah.

Leah hums, sipping her drink, “She’s upstairs.”

“Oh yeah, but she’s watching Marvel. You won’t hear a peep out of her,” Keira chimes in.

“Enjoy the peace while it lasts, babe,” Leah jokes while leaning back into the cushions, knowing it won’t last long in the house.

“Indeed,” Keira chuckles, “It’s a rare thing when the double trouble duo are together” She states with a smirk.

However, the quiet doesn’t last long.

“Mum! Have you seen my iPad charger?” Your voice echoes from upstairs, “I can’t find it, and my iPad’s about to die!”

“And there’s the peace ruined. That was quicker than I anticipated it would be,” Leah groans, reaching for the remote to pause the show just as the doorbell rings, “Oh, and there’s the door– Chinese is here, Monks’!”

You would usually jump at the chance to eat Chinese food, but tonight, the smell wafting from the kitchen hits you wrong. The scent of the egg-fried rice turns to your stomach, making you feel queasy.

“Thanks,” Leah exchanged pleasantries with the takeaway driver, bringing the hot steaming food into the kitchen, “Monks’! Are you coming to eat?”

“She might have her headphones in,” Keira notes, walking into the kitchen.

Leah hums, beginning to open each one of the containers to dish everything up onto the plate, “She’d better hurry downstairs, or it’ll be cold,” She moves to grab the plates out of the cupboard, “Monkey! The Chinese is going to go cold if you don’t hurry up!”

“I’m ere’,” You mumble, the faint whiff of food instantly making your stomach churn, “Um, I’m not feelin’ all that well, I don’t want to eat that much…”

Leah frowns, looking at you suspiciously, “We ordered your favourite. What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know, I just not feelin’ well I guess,” You admit, shrugging your shoulders as you avoid her look, “I might just skip dinner if that’s alright? I don’t think I can eat much.”

“You do look a bit pale, Monkey,” Elle observes, concern flickering across her face.

“You haven’t eaten much all day,” Leah arches her eyebrow, dishing food onto a plate, “Just try and eat something, and if you can’t stomach it then that’s okay.”

“I don’t know if I can,” You look at the plate in hesitance, “I think I might just be comin’ down with something…” Your words trail off as the overwhelming smell finally sends you rushing to the bin.

“Whoa,” Leah is immediately alerted, abandonding the food and rubbing your back as you retch, “Easy, my girl. Take it easy.”

Keira grabs a glass out of the cupboard and fills up a glass with water “Here, Monkey,” She says, handing it to you, “Just take small sips, okay?”

You do as instructed, taking small sips of water until you start to feel better.

“There we go,” Leah murmurs, continuing to rub your back, “Do you feel better?”

You nod weakly, “I’ll feel better when I’m not near the food. It’s making me worse.”

“Wha… What’s going on?” Leah’s brow furrows, beginning to get suspicious, “You usually love Chinese food, and now all of a sudden it’s making you throw up. What gives?”

“I don’t know,” You mumble, avoiding her gaze, “I think I’m just unwell…” You try and avert out of the kitchen, but Leah’s quick to react and stop you.

“Not so fast,” Leah’s tone sharpens, and she crosses her arms, “Monkey, I know you. You’ve been acting differently lately. Talk to me, what’s going on?”

“Don’t be mad,” You whisper, voice trembling.

Leah furrows her eyebrow, “Monkey…”

“Please, please don’t be mad…” You beg, somewhat fearful about the blonde’s reaction.

“Spit it out, Monkey,” Leah urges, her voice softening, “Whatever it is, we can handle it. You just need to tell me what’s going on.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, hesitant to speak, “I’m… I’m pregnant.”

“What?” Leah stares at you, stunned, “You’re what?”

“I’m pregnant,” You repeat, barely above a whisper.

Leah’s mouth opens and closes as she tries to process, “Wha– How… How did this even happen? I mean, I know how, but… I didn’t even think you had even had your first kiss yet!”

“Mum!” You exclaim, embarrassed, very much aware Elle and Keira are still in the kitchen as well, even if Keira already knew.

“Leah, come on,” Keira interrupts, biting back a laugh, “The kids’ 19, she’s not a nun.”

“Wait,” Leah’s gaze inched in on her best friend, “Did you know about this, and you didn’t tell me?”

Keira holds her hands up in the air, “I only found out this morning, but it wasn’t my place to say anything, Le,” She tells her, “This is Monkey’s news to tell you.”

Leah blinks in disbelief, “I… I can’t believe this–  I thought you were into girls?”

“Yeah, me too,” You retort, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly, “I guess not…”

“Well, clearly not,” Leah mutters, exhaling a sharp sigh, “Is this your idea of experimenting? I mean it’s a little late, isn’t it? You’re not even on anything– You know, you could have talked to me about this, and we could’ve gone to the doctor together–”

“Mum!” Seriously?” You cut her off, tears stinging your eyes, “I’m freakin’ out right now… It’s all over. My career is over. My life is over.”

“Oh, no, my girl,” Leah’s expression softens instantly, stepping forward, wrapping you in a hug and resting her chin on your head, “Your life isn’t over. Sure, things are going to change… You’re going to have a baby, and well, you can kiss goodbye to the next 18 years of sleep, but…”

“You’re not helping me here!” You groan into her shoulder.

Leah chuckles softly, pulling back to meet your eyes, “Don’t worry, my girl. There’s nothing to be scared about. We’ll get this all figured out, alright? You don’t have to do it alone.”

You look at her sceptical, “So… You’re not mad? You’re not going to kick me out?”

“What? Why would I be mad?” Leah shakes her head, “Shocked, yeah. But mad? I could never be mad at you, my girl. Never. I’m here for you. We both are, and you don’t have to worry about ever being kicked out. This house is your home, for you and the baby as long as you want to live here.”

“I still have to tell Mama,” You murmur in realisation, anxiety creeping back in.

Leah hums in agreement, “You do.”

“Can you help me with that one?” You ask, wearly.

“Oh no,” Leah says quickly, holding her hands up, “This one’s all on you. You have to tell her, Monkey.”

Keira grins, “New year, new chaos, huh?”

You shift nervously, one foot to the other, “Alright, uh… I guess I have other news to break as well.”

Leah raises an eyebrow, “What could possibly be worse?”

You wince, preparing to speak again, “The lad I slept with is a Spurs fan,” You blurt out before bolting for the door.

“YOU WHAT?” Leah’s shout reverberates through the kitchen.

“Oh, I think that went well,” Keira snickers in amusement.

“Monkey, you get back ‘ere right now!” Leah yells, “What do you mean he’s a Spurs fan? Are you joking me?” She asks, emphasising the team name for dramatic effect.

Keira shakes her head, still laughing, “You took that worse than the fact you’re gonna be a Nana before you’re 30,” She jokes, “Nana Leah has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

Leah’s eyes widen in horror at the realisation, “No, no, absolutely not! That’s not happenin’!”

You flop back down on your bed, leaving Leah in her mid-panic about the news. Despite her reaction, a weight feels lifted that you don’t have to keep it a secret from her anymore.

Now, you just have to tell Jordan.

“Well, no time like the present,” You mumble to yourself, grabbing your phone from where it’s buried under the covers. Scrolling through your contacts, you tap on Jordan’s name and wait for the call to connect.

“Hiya, little one,” Jordan’s familiar voice greets cheerfully.

“Hi, Mama,” You reply softly, biting your lip. The usual comfort her voice brings feels overshadowed by nerves.

Jordan immediately picks up on your tone, her brow furrowing on the other end, “What’s the matter, little one? Everything okay?”

“Umm…” You hesitate, gripping the phone tighter, “I have something I need to tell you.”

“Oh?” Jordan’s voice is calm but curious.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, “Uh, are you sitting down?”

“I’m not, but should I be?” Jordan jokes lightly, trying to ease the tension she senses, “What’s going on?”

Your heart pounds as you swallow the lump in your throat, “So, uh… The thing is… I’m pregnant.”

There’s a pause on the line.

“Right,” Jordan finally says, her tone a mix of shock and disbelief, “Are you… Are you sure?”

“Crystal,” You confirm with a weak laugh, “The positive test in the bin confirms it.”

“Wow,” Jordan exhales sharply, her usual composure faltering, “Alright, wow… So, you’re pregnant.”

You nod even though she can’t see you, “Yeah.”

“Have you told Leah?” Jordan questions, curiously.

“I told Mum just before I called you,” You admit.

Jordan hums on the other end of the phone, “And… How’d she take it?”

“Better than I expected, honestly. I mean, she was shocked, but she wasn’t mad. Although…” You trail off, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“Although what?” Jordan prompts, sounding more grounded now.

“I think she took it worse when I told her the lad’s a Spurs fan,” You confess,  bracing yourself for the reaction.

Jordan groans on the other end of the line, “Oh, for God’s sake, Monkey. Could you have not chosen literally anyone else?”

“Apparently not,” You quip, grimacing at the fact that you willingly slept with someone who supports that team, “Trust me, I almost gag at the thought of it. This baby is going to be a Gooner.”

Jordan chuckles in response, “Well I think if Leah has anything to do with it, it definitely will be,” She states, “Other than that, how are you feelin’?”

“I’m… I’m getting there, I think I’m over the shock of it now,” You admit honestly, “I was a bit terrified to tell you both, but now that you both know, I feel better. Less alone.”

“You’re never going to be alone, little one,” Jordan assures you firmly, “We’re always going to be here for you, and for this baby as well. No matter what.”

Her words bring a lump to your throat, but this time, it’s one of gratitude, “Thanks, Mama.”

“Always,” Jordan says softly. Then, with a playful edge, she adds, “But seriously, Monkey. A Spurs fan? What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t,” You reply sheepishly, “I was so drunk… I’m never touching Vodka again.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Jordan laughs in agreement, “Alright, we’ll talk more when I see you, okay? Try to take it easy for now.”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to put the skydiving on hold for now then…” You joke with a laugh, finally feeling a bit lighter, “I can’t believe that I’m going to have a little rugrat of my own.”

© scribblesofagoonerr

[captain039]

PART 5 Unconventional Alpha

Alpha!Viktor x omega!reader

Warnings: Heats, suppressants, AOB, light swearing, Viktor’s not dying but still disabled, reader has chronic pain, plus size reader, nesting, Older Viktor, Professor Viktor, artistic reader, age gap reader is in their 20s +, virgin reader, first times, smut? Haven’t decided yet

Previous part <-

Viktor appeared at your door the next night. A packed suit case behind him, you flush a bit knowing what you asked him to do, it isn’t conventional for an unmated alpha to stay with an unmated omega during her coming off period and a potential heat. You’re stewing over at how bad it all looks, but when you go to open your mouth and say anything he shoots you a look with those honey golden eyes and you shut up. You can’t deny that you’re calmer now, your mind isn’t racing or panicking and you can sleep easier knowing he’s there, on the pull out bed. You feel bad for making him stay there, with his bad leg you’re unsure if it’s even comfortable, your mother said to but it incase you have friends wanting to stay over, that rarely happens. Viktor tends to things on his laptop on the small kitchen table, he always has his brows furrowed when he’s deep in thought, scribbling away on his notepads or typing quickly. It’s a soothing sound, pencil against paper, key taps filling your room. You don’t speak much, but you don’t mind it, you figured he was always the quieter type when working or in general, though sometimes you get into conversations about his work or your art casually when he isn’t busy. It’s a quiet evening, you’ve gotten used to his presence and find yourself wanting him to never leave. He sits at the kitchen table, his things spread out there, you’re surprised at how messy he can be even if he tries to organise things, it’s quite sweet you think. You on your arm chair by the pull out bed a book in your hand. You notice he stops typing and your eyes flick to his, his nose flares a bit and his eyes snap to yours.

“Your heats coming” he says and you frown sniffing yourself, you can’t sense anything or feel anything.

“How do you know?” You ask and he chuckles softly.

“I know” he says and the words make you frown.

“You’ve- done this before?” You ask out of curiosity and mild jealousy.

“With an old partner” he says and you flush a bit. Of course he’s been with other people, other omegas, Jesus Christ get a grip on yourself.

“Oh” you answer and instantly curse yourself silently, you watch his eyebrow raise ever so slightly.

“I’ll uh, have a shower” you stand up quickly and shuffle to the bathroom. You close the door and turn the fan on running a hand down your face at your antics. You can’t get jealous over past people, everybody has past partners, he’s not even your alpha! hell he’s probably gone through countless of ruts! Your face flushes at the thought and you quickly busy yourself with turning the shower on and stripping. You stand under the water and sigh a bit leaning your head against the tile. It’s the heat talking that’s it, your hormones are gonna go haywire and it’s gonna get a hella of a lot worse. Why did you ask him? Why did you run to him in a midst of panic? Why did he say yes? Out of pity? Does he even realise you have no idea what you’re doing? That even with the heat you’ve got no clue on sexual relations besides getting yourself off with your fingers?! You take a deep breath trying to calm yourself. Gods he probably doesn’t even want you like that, you insulted his work practically, you’re hardly classed as a pretty petite omega their alpha can throw around if needed. You poke your stomach, watching it go in then out and glare at it. Self love is a hard thing when the world makes you feel unwanted. Maybe you should tell him to go, you wouldn’t want to be stuck here with you going through your first mature heat either. You leave the shower, dry off and head to your room awkwardly before getting dressed and falling on your bed. Your body grows tired easily before you find yourself asleep.

You wake up with a small groan wondering why it’s so damn hot and this bed is suddenly uncomfortable. You sit up, kick off your sleep pants and stare at the boring bed with a look of disgust before you get up and strip it. You flick your light on unaware of the alpha in your couch and start making a nest out of instinct. You raid your linen cupboard in your bedroom and begin making a nest on your bed glad your beds to one side and against the wall. You don’t feel the eyes watching you from the door way, too focused on making this nest.

He wasn’t asleep, he heard your groan, saw the light flick on then a lot of shuffling. Your scent is stronger now and it’s keeping every ounce of self control he has to not do anything. He’s filled with alpha pride that you chose him to stay with you. Seeing you panicked reeking of scared omega in his lab in the middle of the night confirmed all his thoughts of him wanting you, the trust you put in him, subconsciously seeking your alpha out even if he wasn’t just yet. He leans against the door way keeping the pressure off his bad leg as he watches you make a nest with a hazed look in your eyes. You get unhappy when something doesn’t sit right, either throwing it off the bed or slapping it into place. To anyone else it would be funny to watch, to him it brings out a deep primal feeling of satisfaction watching his omega prepare. When you finally stop your hands on your hips as you stare of it unhappily your fingers tapping against your hip. He realises now you’re in a tank top and underwear, your sleep pants kicked across the room probably because you got hot. He knows he shouldn’t disturb you during such a time but the frown on your face is getting harsher by the second.

“Omega?” He coaxes gently and you jolt looking to him with wide eyes. You stutter gesturing to your nest, run a hand through your hair gesture around some more before giving up. It makes him smile as he limps closer having left his cane by the couch.

“What is it?” He asks softly.

“It’s not- right” you huff gesturing to your now made nest.

“What isn’t right about it?” He presses knowing how particular omegas can be when making their nests.

“It’s not-“ your hands make a fist and he knows you’re struggling with heat clouding your thoughts it’s likely even worse. Your skin has a light flush to it and he can see a slow layer of sweat forming. Your scent though, it’s spiked and sweet and mouth watering, he itches to have you in that nest right now but knows that won’t end well so he opts for gently contact.

You feel a slender hand covering your fisted one, and slender fingers guiding you to look at him.

“The shape?” He asks and you look back to it shaking your head.

“Softness?” You shake your head again having laid down your softest blankets on there.

“Scent?” He asks and you glance to it, then him, then back to the nest. It smells like you obviously, but also your laundry detergent, but it doesn’t have his scent.

“Wait here” he says gently before limping out of your room. You feel bad making him put up with your antics before he returns with a dark blue blanket. You tilt your head slightly mouth opening a bit.

“This is from my bed, I use it every night, it should smell like me” he holds it out to you and your mind stops. You take it carefully heart pounding in your chest, you press your nose to it without thinking breathing him in deeply a shuddering calm washing over you. You flush and stop once you realise what you’re doing, he doesn’t look grossed out, disgusted, judgmental, there’s a gentle look in his eyes and a small twitch of his lips before he nods to your nest. You thank him quietly before moving to your nest and laying it over the top, something settles in you and you sigh in relief feeling the agitation leave.

“You’re good at this” you say embarrassed.

“I’ve had experience with omegas yes, but every omega is different” he says smiling gently.

“Well you knew what I needed in an instant” you scoff out a laugh.

“Because I watch” he says softly limping closer his hands lifting to brush fly aways back down.

“I watched how you’ve been acting these last few days” he adds and you feel your cheeks warm.

“I see the over thinking and anxiety, but the calmness in the quiet, how you prefer a soft to touch blanket over your quilt for warmth, how you wake up, get breakfast and sit in your chair for a five minutes then start eating, you miss lunch, but snack during the day, I watch how you forget where you put things then mentally scold yourself when you find them” his fingers gently trace your cheek and jaw as he speaks.

“I notice how your scent sweetens when we talk” he whispers and you feel your cheeks warm even more and look away.

“I watched and learned omega, you trusted me to be here with you during a vulnerable time, I’m going to do my dam-nest to make sure I do it right” he says letting his hand fall back to his side. You notice how he favours one side due to his bad leg, the swirl of emotion in his golden honey eyes, his thick brows and high cheeks.

“Can I-?” You trail off a bit.

“You can” he says and you huff.

“I didn’t even say what I wanted” you sass lightly.

“You still can” he says with a small smirk matching your sass.

“I wanted to hug you” you say quietly.

“I know I’m a little sweaty and I’m going into heat-“ he cuts you off his arms wrapping around your shoulders and bringing your head to rest on his chest. You sigh and melt into him instantly careful not to lean into him too much but just enough. He smells delicious up close and with your heat it’s heightened, that undertone of alpha, coffee and amber. You find yourself wanting to nuzzle into his neck breathe him in there where his scent is the strongest. Despite his lean frame you find out he’s quite strong and sturdy, probably from physical therapy or something you wonder. You feel him lean his weight onto you a bit and away from his leg, you tighten your hold on him offering support and he chuckles gently against your hair.

“Sweet omega” he whispers and you feel yourself warm up and his body tense slightly as if he didn’t mean to let that slip. You figure you should let go so you do, reluctantly and he pulls back as well. You notice a faint blush on his cheeks and feel your heart rate pick up.

“I’ll um, let you get back to sleep and off your leg” you smile and he nods in response.

“Goodnight” he says.

“Goodnight” you mumble as he limps out your room. You listen to the pull out bed creak under his weight before you flick your light off and crawl into your nest. His blanket is over top you, wrapped around, your nose pressed to the soft fabric as you smile and feel yourself drift off to sleep again.

Taglist

@imithicwolf

@donnie-is-here

@justmoniesworld

@sseleniaa

[buck-star]

Picking you up

Picking you up out of the dirt, when he finds you by yourself between the trash behind a restaurant. Why not trusting him and getting a nice home and the warmth you’re looking for?

Pairing: Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Bunny (BunnyHybrid!Fem!Reader)

Wordcount: 2.855 Words

Warnings/Tags: Dark content, violence, homelessness, talking about punishments, abusive past relationship

Authors Note: Lloyd and Bunny were already mentioned in “Realisation”. So thought they could be introduced. Thanks to @holylulusworld @thezombieprostitute for letting me share all the thoughts with you.

Events: Fandom-Free Bingo: Book Edition [O1 | “That’s it sweetheart” | @fandom-free-bingo], Fandom Free Bingo: Gingerbread Edition [Alternates 2 | Regretting a wish | @fandom-free-bingo]

Masterlist | Sweet side of darkness (SSOD) Masterlist

The sun slowly goes down behind the buildings of the city, the sky painted in a beautiful orange-red color. There aren’t many people around anymore; most of them are sitting at their homes, probably at the table, eating and talking to their families.

A soft whimper escapes your lips when you look over the street toward the house you’re admiring every day. The little boy just went inside with his dad, the mother preparing everything for the dinner, while the sister’s laugh matches the one of the little boy once they are home.

It’s long ago that you had a moment like that, long ago that you felt the warmth and love of a family. After your ex and you moved in together, your family distanced themselves further and further — it may have been because your ex-boyfriend made sure to keep you just for himself and tell you lies about your family.

However, once they didn’t care any longer, he humiliated you in front of everyone; he cheated on you before he threw you out and left you to yourself on the street.

Now you’re living between the trash in a dark alley behind a restaurant. At least you get enough food every day. But the loneliness clawing at you more and more, the want to belong somewhere, to be loved as the one you are — as the hybrid — you are getting more present the more you watch the families laughing and interacting so lovely and happy with one another.

It’s only when the backdoor of the restaurant swings open that you turn your head to look at the scene. Your bunny ears swinging slightly — they aren’t too long to annoy you, but long enough to swing with every move you’re doing.

A man is thrown out of the door, slamming into the wall of the house opposite. Your eyes widen, and you try to push yourself further into the corner of the garbage can and the wall of the house.

Another man follows out of the door; he’s wearing tight white pants and an even tighter shirt that defines his well-trained muscles in his chest. He has short brown hair and a moustache perfectly framing his top lip.

The man with the white pants grins, a low, dark chuckle leaving his lips as he takes another step into the dark alley and toward the man who’s still pressed into the wall. “Good to see you here, sunshine. Thought I had to look more in the underground to find you.”

You notice the white pants man pulling something out of the back of his pants — a knife. You shriek; your eyes go even wider when his head turns to you and he looks you up and down. You immediately press your hands on your mouth, your bunny ears covering half of your face. Maybe he will ignore you; maybe you can tell him that you haven’t seen anything, mayb—.

“I’m sorry, pumpkin. You’re going to have some fun with Kemp; he loves having fun with bad boys. I have to do more important things,” the man in the white pants says to the other man. His expression shifts when the name ‘Kemp’ slips past the white pants man.

“Think you can steal our hybrids and sell them yourself?” Another voice comes from the exit of the restaurant. You only listen to them, still covering your face with your ears. The man whose name is probably Kemp and the man in the white pants have obviously been trafficking with hybrids, and it makes your stomach drop.

White pants man has seen you; will he get you and sell you too? You curl yourself further together, pushing as much as you can into the corner, and maybe the man isn’t interested in you then. You’re a dirty, homeless hybrid; they couldn’t make much money with you, could they?

“Hi, little bunny,” a voice coos; to your surprise, it sounds soft, and you dare to move your ears a bit to the side to peek through them. In front of you is the man with the right white pants; he’s kneeling down, and a smile curls up his lips. A smile that doesn’t look as sadistic as it used to be as he walked out of the restaurant. “You’re a shy little bunny?”

“Y-yes, sir,” you whimper, your hands still covering your mouth so your voice is still a bit muffled. Lloyd almost groans when you call him that; you’re so obedient. He nods; a flash of possessiveness is visible in his eyes before his expression turns soft once more. “P-please, I haven’t… I won’t tell anyone, sir.”

“I know you won’t, bunny,” Lloyd says with a now darkish grin once more. You’re shivering, your bunny ears covering your face once more. The white pants man chuckles low in his throat.

Lloyd waits already a while for his perfect hybrid, a girl that’s obedient but a little slut for him. His housewife and fuck toy, someone he can come home to and doesn’t have to be just sadistic but can also wrap one in his arms and just enjoy a nice movie night.

“Please, sir. I will be good,” you whimper once more behind your ears and hands. Fear growing in your body, and it shows in your trembling form and your hiding behavior.

“I know you will. Bunny?” Lloyd asks, his voice softer again but with an edge of dominance. You’re wondering how he can switch from terrifying to sweet within seconds. But as long as he keeps his soft side with you, you don’t mind him, right?

When Lloyd notices your ears moving again and allowing you to peek through them, he chuckles softly. You’re his perfect little bunny, sweet and shy, obedient, and if you’re not a little slutty girl yet, he will turn you into one.

“Did someone train you, Bunny? You’re such an obedient little girl,” he continues, keeping a bit of distance between the two of you. You nod softly, and your ears swing softly, causing a soft chuckle to escape Lloyd's plump lips. “Yeah? Who trained you?”

“M-my ex. H-he… He said if I’m bad… h-he would put me in the basement,” you reply, recalling the memories from years back where he threatened you whenever you didn’t do as you were told. You quickly learned your place; the spankings were rare but better than the darkness in the basement you feared so much. He knew; that’s why he used it to his advantage. He used to put you in the basement until you begged him, until you kissed his feet as an apology for disobeying. “I-it was so dark and cold in the basement…”

It’s ironic; you’re now living in the street, no matter if it was wet and cold or sunny and warm. You find security between garbage cans, and the only light source is the lamps that turned out at some point.

“Aww, little bunny, scared of the dark. Whatcha doing out here at this time then?” Lloyd asks, looking around at all the trash. It looks like a little sleeping place where you’re sitting, between some pizza boxes.

“I—I…” you mumble, interrupting yourself. You feel your cheeks heating up in embarrassment. Your ears twitch, but this time, before you can cover your face once more, Lloyd brings his calloused hand to them and pushes them out of your face. You whimper, trying to hide yourself, but he keeps them behind your head with one hand.

“You, what, bunny? Don’t hide yourself when you’re talking to me; that’s not polite, is it?” He asks, his voice low but still soft. His grip around your ears tightens a bit when you stay quiet. It doesn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable, but it’s enough to make a point that he’s in control.

“I sleep here,” you whimper, your voice barely above a whisper. Lloyd nods; he knew it, but he wanted to hear it from you. Why else would a little bunny like you be in that dark alley between some garbage. And it underlines once more that you’re the perfect little girl for Lloyd.

Lloyd nods, getting up and turning his head to look at Steve and the other guy. Kemp has everything perfectly under control, the man pressed between him and the wall while he grins at him. Then, Lloyd turns back to you and grins. “Get up.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden demand and the change in his voice. The slightly soft edge in it is now the cold one he used before with the man. You back away, shaking your head slightly.

He narrows his eyes, the stare on you intense while the smirk fades from his lips. Lloyd reaches one of his calloused hands out to wrap it around both of your bunny ears and yank you up.

“I don’t like repeating myself,” he growls, the softness from before turned into a coldness. The grip around your ears tightens, and you whimper. “You were such a good little bunny, so why don’t you keep behaving like one for me, huh?”

“L-let go, please; I-it hurts,” you whine, keeping still to soothe the pain he’s causing with his tight grip around your ears. He chuckles, loosening his fingers a bit but holding your ears still firmly to make sure you obey.

Lloyd takes a step further into the dark alley and toward the other men, pulling you with him. You take a shaky step too, following him so he won’t pull your bunny ears again. You have the urge to stroke your ears, to make them feel better with soft touches, but you don’t dare to do anything Lloyd hasn’t asked for.

“S-sir,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. The man turns his head to you, looking down. You’re looking so small and vulnerable, your body shaking, and he growls low in his throat. He loves how tall and strong he is compared to you.

“Yes, bunny?” He asks, leading you further to the other men. Kemp has the other man still pressed against the wall but leans back and releases the other after a moment with a grin. You watch that man’s legs shaking and trying to steady himself with his hands against the wall behind him.

“Please, your grip is too tight around my bunny ears,” you say quietly, not wanting to upset Lloyd. He nods but doesn’t change his grip around your ears. He pulls you further through the dark alley. Your smaller steps cause him to pull your ears further; it almost looks like he enjoys your little cries and begs for him to release your bunny ears.

Lloyd stops next to Steve and the other man, pulling you to his side. He lets go of your ears, and you immediately back away from him. The man rolls his eyes, shaking his head slightly before he turns his attention back to Steve. “And?”

“He doesn’t want to talk… insisting on not having tried to steal our hybrids,” Steve answers, his hand firmly wrapped around the other man’s throat. Lloyd groans in annoyance, then he nods slowly. “Want to take him there? And the bunny too?”

“No, the bunny comes with me. But you,” Lloyd says with a sadistic smirk on his plump lips. He feels almost a bit disappointed that he misses the punishment of the man who tried to betray them, but he found you, his cute bunny, and he wants to take you home more than punishing that man. “You will have lots of fun with Steve. He will have lots of fun with our betrayer, won’t you, Kemp?”

Lloyd turns around to look through the dark alley, his eyes scanning every little inch of it. He rolls his eyes. You really think you can hide from him. With a nod he walks through the darkness, a sarcastic grin on his face the further he walks through it.

“Come out, come out, little bunny,” he says, his voice low as he looks at the place he first found you. But there’s no hint of you. Lloyd groans, frustrated; he doesn’t mind a good little game, but right now he’s not in a mood for that. “I’m gonna find you, and you won’t like it then. So you better come out now, bunny.”

There’s still no hint that you’re still in that alley, but luckily for him, you walked in the direction where a wall comes. So you can’t escape him even if he has to rummage through all the trash to find you — he will.

“I’m gonna count to three, and you better thank me for being so patient with your little disobedient ass, bunny,” Lloyd growls darkly, stepping further through the alley. He’s feeling satisfied that you disobey; as much as he loves your obedience, he loves the thought of training you even more. “One.”

He keeps walking; his steps echo through the darkness. You flinch with every thud of his expensive shoes. You push yourself further into the corner you are in, curling yourself together while you listen to his steps.

“Two, bunny,” he says loudly; there’s a hint of amusement in his voice, but you don’t trust it. He was sweet earlier, and then he turned mean; he can change his voice, but he’s still mean.

Lloyd’s steps get closer, but to your relief, he walks past where you’re hiding. A soft sigh escapes your lips, and you lean back a bit. You keep listening to him, waiting for him to walk further so you can get out of your hiding spot and run.

“Three,” he says, his voice suddenly so close, and you shriek when his face appears in front of yours. His blue eyes glistening with amusement as he reaches out to grab you — to your surprise — softly by your shoulder and pulls you out of the trash. “There you are, bunny.”

“P-please don’t hurt me,” you whimper, freezing in your spot when you notice his eyes wandering over your face. He takes in every little detail, enjoying himself. You’re shivering, and your legs shake so much that you feel like they give in and you fall down, but Lloyd wraps one of his thick arms around your waist and pulls you close to his chest.

His scent is sweet, still manly, and you feel yourself leaning into him a bit more. Lloyd smirked, his expression turning more soft again, and while he holds you close, he brings his other hand to your side, running it up and down.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, bunny,” he replies softly. ‘Not yet at least.’ Lloyd adds in his mind. He feels your nod against his broad chest, and he starts walking with you close to him back to the restaurant to get out home. “I just want you to be good, my obedient little bunny.”

You nod once more, pushing yourself further into Lloyd’s side while you walk toward where Kemp is still standing. He grins at you, nodding toward Lloyd as he grabs the other man — you don’t know about, except that he stole hybrids — by his neck and pushes him into the restaurant.

Lloyd leads you to the exit as well, stopping just before you walk in. “You have to be good now, bunny. Stay by my side and look down, get me?”

“Y-yes sir,” you mumble and look down. Lloyd smiles, satisfied with you obeying him, and takes your smaller hand in his. Then he pulls you with him into the restaurant. You hear some gasps, feel some eyes on you, but you do as you’re told and keep looking down. You squeeze Lloyd's hand until he strokes his thumb over the back of your hand to calm you down.

The walk through the restaurant isn’t too long, but with all eyes on you, you feel like it’s going on and on while you’re like a trophy. When you finally reach the door, you notice two big SUVs in front; your mouth drops open, and you look up to have a better look.

“That makes it two,” Lloyd says more to himself than to you. He pulls you to one of the cars, opening the back door for you to get in. “That’s going to be fun, my little bunny, a good old punishment for the disobedient little bunny you are.”

With that, he shuts the door of the car, and you notice a clicking. The door is locked, and there is no escape for you from that man anymore. You shiver; your eyes widen as you watch him get into the driver's seat. That sadistic smile back on his face when he sighs in satisfaction.

“No more disobedience, or I need to teach you manners. And you already deserve a good punishment for running from me and for lifting your head when I told you not to, didn’t I, bunny?” He asks, even though it wasn’t really an ask; it was more a statement. Lloyd leans further back in his seat and starts the engine, tuning in the music and humming softly to it.

Taglist: @rogersbarber @loki-laufeyson68 @etherealdisneyvillainness @winterschildren8 @pono-pura-vida @kimmie113080 @sergeantbarnessdoll @sebastianstanisahotmf @mercurial-chuckles @holylulusworld @randomawesomeperson102 @looking1016 @multiversefanfics @kpopgirlbtssvt @blackhawkfanatic @hisredheadedgoddess28 [add yourself]

[beef-brisket]

Pacing the marble floor, Lucifer groaned in frustration, it was harder getting a meeting with Heaven than he realised.

Lucifer: I demand to speak to Michael!

Voice: Denied.

Lucifer: Gabriel!

Voice: Denied.

Lucifer: For fuck sakes-! I am the king of Hell, and I demand to-.

Voice: Satan is the king of Hell. Not you.

Lucifer smiked: Satan's dead.

The voice was silent for a moment, making Lucifer groan. He was over talking to whoever the fuck this was.

Voice: Meeting room eight.

Lucifer sighed: Fucking finally.

He made his way to the meeting room. Opening the door, he noticed the room was was empty, and unreasonably large. He only wanted to meet with two people, but this place looked ready to house at least thirty.

But either way, he walked in and took a seat.

In a few minutes, a bright light filled the room, and in front of him was an angel with pure white wings and two guards. Lucifer recognised them as the same army he had fought last time he was in Heaven.

Man: The fuck are you?

Lucifer galred: The new king of Hell. And you are...? Gabriel?

The man laughed, the two guards behind him smirked.

Man: Fuck no!

Lucifer: Michael, then-?

Man: Shit, you must be fucking dumb or something. Do you really think the two ARCHANGELS would come down to this shkt hole to see you?

Lucifer: ...Yeah. Their who I demanded to see-.

Man: Seeing as you're new, you obviously don't know how shit works here. So, here's a quick run down. You don't demand SHIT of Heaven. We demand shit of you. And you'll deal with me, not the fucking archangels, they have better things to do-.

Lucifer: This is about Adam.

The man blinked: Adam... THEE Adam?

Lucifer: Obviously.

Man: Ahh. I see. Want him dead to, huh? Sorry babe, Satan and Heaven already have a thing going, and we're not changing. That motherfucker has caused enough fucking trouble, so unless you're here to say that he's in your custody and you're about to hand his colossal ass over to us, we're not interested.

Lucifer growled: I have an angelic collar that can only be removed by Michael and Gabriel. I need them to take it off-.

Man: Off?! OFF?! Hold on, hold up. Are you saying that you have Adam?

Lucifer: That's none of your business-.

The man stood up and leaned on the table, glaring down at Lucifer.

Man: Oh, it fucking is our business. New king or not, there is a deal in place, and you must honour it. Now, do you have Adam, or not?

Lucifer: ...Let me speak to Michael and Gabriel-.

Man: You're talking with me! Not them!

Lucifer: And who the fuck are you? Obviously not the two people I need to fucking see.

The man smirked: Evan. The first fucking man.

Lucifer: ...Huh. So, Heaven sent the original man whore to speak to me-.

Evan: The fuck did you just say?!

Lucifer: You heard me, bitch! Now, I demand to speak to-.

Evan: Fuck up! You know what? This fucking meeting? Is OVER! I thought fucking Satan was bad, but you? Ha! You're more fucking annoying!

Lucifer growled and pulled out his gun, which was loaded with another angelic bullet.

Evan: Ooh, no! A gun! I'm so fucking scared-! Have mercy Mr Devil! Please!

Lucifer: You know what you have to do- and do it before I shoot your fucking head off!

Evan: Hm... nope! Guess you have to shoot me!

Lucifer: I'll fucking do it!

Evan: Do it! You won't ever speak to those motherfuckers upstairs! And I'll send down a fucking army to take that fucking golden whore out of your fucking hands! Maybe I'll even fuck him before-.

The room echoed as a loud bang sounded from Lucifer's gun: Don't you DARE speak about him like... that...

Evan laughed as his figure glitched and cleared itself up.

Even: Seriously, bitch? Did you really think I'd come down there?! Ha! AND you shot at me?! Nice fucking try, babe~.

Lucifer felt defeated. There was really no way to speak to the archangels if they refused to come down here. He'll have to come up with another plan.

Lucifer: ...If you take Adam. I'm coming to.

Evan: Oh, are you? Too bad that ain't happening. And, you're confirming you have Adam in your custody?

Lucifer: ...I need to-.

Evan: Do you have Adam. Or not?

Lucifer needed to get into Heaven, but there's no way to do that. They'd be on extra high alert, like last time when him and Adam could just fly up. This might be their only way into Heaven.

Lucifer: ...I have him...

I miss our God!Adam Au

Sequel 👀

In Canada Eh! Lmao

CANADA FOREVER

Yes plsss! I miss our stupid, power-hungry boy 😫😫

[lokh]

also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.

[xiii-e]

//ooc posting: I NEED to find more fun/silly things to do with my two they are Not meant to be all agony all the time I swear- I just have a penchant for the dramatic and they're a little in the torment nexus o(-< but on god they will Have Fun too

[walking-loather]

When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.

TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.

If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.

If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.

If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.

If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.

If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.

If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.

If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.

If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.

If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.

If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.

If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.

If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.

If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.

I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.

If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.

If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.

If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.

These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.

And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.

If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.

[m4deb4d]

something i found comforting recently was when i watched an interview with jd and he something along the lines of "does it ever really stop?" how shit will always happen and he's gonna write about it and idk, there's something about it that made me settle some shame- about feeling and recognising things that have hurt me, all whilst saying you can always heal. anyways i love music.

[dirt-str1der]

Knows that im going into heat because im thinking about him again

[jjk4isen]

ꗃ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃, 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 .

❝ answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and holding me— was she the one on your mind? ❞

summary: it's hard knowing you aren't really the person in toji's heart but loving him was something you still did regardless. as for toji, he thinks he's ready to give you his all.

desc: 2.8k words, f!reader (referred to as ‘mama’), canon compliant i think, takes place after mamaguro's death and before toji’s, age gap (early 20s reader, early 30s toji), baby gumi ahhhhh, sfw, angst to fluff to angst again lol, intended lowercase, think you're tsumiki’s mom but without tsumiki bc the relations would be too complicated and also the second wife erasure in the canon storyline?? yeah it's reserved specifically for this fic, not proof read i fear but pls read it's really interesting i can swear by it lmaoqhdhns

dating a widowed man with a son wasn't easy especially when the said man is still in love with his former wife, or rather, his wife who had died.

love is often beautiful but sometimes it's unfair. it can also be cruel. what other reason would make you still stay despite knowing you'll never measure upto the person who had been here before you?

and you've heard stories about her. she was sweet, so beautiful— not just in her appearance but her entire being was beautiful. there always was an ache in your heart upon just the mention of her name.

so how much more would it have ached for toji?

“mama” the spiky haired boy, barely two years old calls you and you realise the silence in the room. “not mama, i’m nana okay?” sick.

nana. not mama but close enough. it doesn't matter anyway, n and m are just letters and next to each other so how much difference would that make? you're the one that's here after all, are you not?

if there's a lump in your throat and your eyes are burning with unshed tears, you force yourself to ignore.

“okay nana” megumi nuzzles his face into your chest, slowly drifting away to sleep. the boy always liked cuddling with you and it melts your heart immensely.

your hands strand through his dark hair. people always said he's the carbon copy of his dad but you'd like to differ. megumi has his mother's eyes and his hair resembled hers more than it did his dad's.

the thought sends another ache in your chest but you push it away– as you always have.

you recall the last time toji had heard megumi call you ��mama”. you had never seen toji that livid. he was never a gentle man to begin with but that night, there was nothing else you've been more scared of.

was he like that to his wife? maybe not.

does that matter though? it's not like toji treats you badly. he's decent and loves you an enough amount. you weren't crazy enough to stay when you're not wanted so that must mean you were something to him right?

you also recall the whispers of pity and condemnation thrown at you for just being with toji. him being a brute is one thing but the difference in age is what people seem to have a problem with. you're so much younger than him and have your whole life ahead of you so why are you entrapping yourself this way?

you disagree though. love doesn't know any age and you definitely aren't naive to be head over heels over a guy just because he's relatively older. no, this was real and genuine.

a faint knock disrupts your train of thoughts. “he sleepin’?” toji nods towards the small boy in your arms and you nod back in return.

taking care not to wake the sleeping kid, you slowly pry his hands away from you and pull over a blanket to cover his small body.

when you make your way towards toji, he wastes no time in pulling you closer “missed you” he mumbles, placing a kiss onto your forehead and suddenly all thoughts plaguing your mind disappears. that's all you could ask for, even if it was just for a moment.

“i missed you more” you whisper back, he only huffs out an amused chuckle.

“got bad news though” a frown finds itself on his lips, decorated by a single scar next to it.

“did you lose all your money again?” toji was a gambling addict, another thing you forced yourself to tolerate just for him.

“sorry, doll. thought i’d win this time” he rubs small circles on your back comfortingly and it makes you a bit uneasy to know that he has his way with you so easily.

“it's alright. i’ll just find another part time job”

“so good to me” toji pulls you into his chest and you let out a sigh— of exhaustion? relief? you couldn't really tell but that's not important, toji had you in his arms.

“i’ll try and think of something too. don't worry your pretty little head too much” he lifts you up with ease. while you're in his arms, you feel the safest.

toji really felt bad this time. he was confident he would win but that stupid horse had to trip and lose its lead, ending up last of all places. he knows luck never favoured him but that's didn't stop him from trying again and again and again.

he also knows how you didn't say anything more than necessary about it but he isn't that much of an idiot either. he sees how your expression falters and your shoulders slump a little more when he comes home with another news of his gambling loss.

this is also why he tries, or rather, tried to quit — one too many times, unbeknownst to you. however, old habits die hard and most of the time (everytime) toji gives into his urge and loses yet again. the cycle keeps happening.

maybe this isn't just about gambling.

with the way you're asleep so soundly next to him after putting his son to sleep and taking care of him too, he is overcomed with yet another feeling to be better for you and megumi alike.

toji isn't a gentle man; everyone knows that, you do too — even more than anybody else but he can't help the familiar pool of warm feelings surging through him the longer he stares at your peaceful state.

he remembers the last time he felt it, with another person. it felt like a lifetime ago.

he also remembers how painful it was when he lost it — the person, the feeling altogether. his hands that were making their way to caress your face stops mid air.

toji knows you deserve so much better. you've been nothing but patient to him, so amazing, so perfect to him. still, he just can't do it yet, just not yet.

he will eventually, he hopes you stay until then.

toji wakes up to an empty bed and his heart sinks a little but the creases and wrinkles on the sheets serve as a reminder that you were really here.

he makes his way towards the kitchen, only finding megumi sitting on a chair next to the dining table.

“hey kid, where's your mama?”

toji freezes. it came out so naturally he didn't realise he said it himself and almost thinks he didn't but megumi's wide eyes prove that he actually did.

“m…mama?” megumi says hesitantly and toji nods this time. “yes, your mama”.

“potty potty!” megumi points to the bathroom and giggles, toji follows suit. the man crouches to his son's eye level and pats his head.

“you love your mama, kid?” toji sees megumi's eyes sparkle as the boy nods enthusiastically “very very much!!”

“yeah? i love your mama too.”

toji smiles to himself, he can't wait to tell that to you.

the next time toji got his pay, he finds himself hesitating. instead of heading towards the race tracks, his feet takes him to a jewellery store.

instead of picking out a slot and testing his luck, he picks out a ring. it's not fancy by any means but he thinks it would be the most beautiful band of metal to exist if it slides into your ring finger.

the tiny ring carries all the heavy feelings he has for you.

──

it was one particular evening when you saw an old man lingering by the front gate. its particular because the warm sunset and the soft cool breeze contrasted the ground breaking truth you find out.

“can i help you?” you ask the old man who looks at you up and down, not making an attempt to hide his distaste of your sight.

“is this where toji zenin lives?” he stares down at you with his scrutinising gaze; it makes you feel small.

“zenin?” you ask, confused. is he referring to toji? but his last name is fushiguro is it not?

“yes toji zenin. i heard he has a son as well. you're not the mother are you?”

is it that obvious? you wonder how the old man figured it out. regardless, you're not about to give him his answers so you stood your ground.

“i’m sorry i don't know what you're talking about.” you turn around, about to head inside when his words make you stop short.

“are you fushiguro?”

that's toji’s last name isn't it? not zenin or whatever he called it. so why is he asking you that? is he implying that you're married to toji?

“no. you have the wrong person.”

“why? did he say not to get involved with anyone from his clan?” the old man draws closer, chucking to himself. you're just there unmoving, trying to comprehend the situation and the words coming from his mouth.

“or did he not tell you that either? did he tell you anything at all?” he stands tall in front of you, tearing away bits of yourself with every word he says.

“when he returns, tell him the clan wants to propose him an offer. you can do that much at least won't you?”

…

and when toji comes home that night with the ring cluched tightly in his fist and inside the pocket of his white pants, the world stills.

he finds you in a state he has never seen you before. you look completely and utterly defeated.

“hey, what's wrong?” his hands come to caress your face so effortlessly, the ring and prior nervousness long forgotten.

“talk to me what's going on?” he looks around and the house seems emptier than usual. your laundry that were usually hanging with his were gone.

your small trinkets you placed around the house to “make it more lively” were nowhere to be found.

and there's a bag in the corner of the room which toji prays and hopes he isn't what he thinks it is.

your hands push away his own that were cupping your face. you're not even looking at him.

“say something damn it!”

you flinch and toji takes a step back. he recalls the last time you trembled in fear — when he got mad megumi called you his mom. he punishes himself for it.

“im sorry. please talk to me.” he isn't touching you now but he wants to. he wants to reach out and pull you close, as he always had done. but now there's an unbearable silence and the small distance between you both felt like lightyears away.

“who's zenin” your voice was meek, barely a whisper but toji's eyes widen. how did you find out about that?

no fuck that, he was supposed to be the one telling you. in his own time.

“i can explain” was all that came out of him. he's nervous, he doesn't know where to start. there's a lot of information to unpack and he's not sure how to do it without hurting you too much.

when he doesn't elaborate, you ask another “who's fushiguro then?” your voice falters a bit and toji curses himself for it.

but he's done running away and keeping things from you. “my… my late wife” he says wryly.

your eyes close and a shaky breath leaves your body, as if he just confirmed your worst suspicions. damn life is so funny isn't it? everything you thought you knew apparently wasn't what it seemed to be after all.

opening them again, your vision blurs and you realise tears were escaping your eyes. fuck you didn't want to cry now of all times but they won't stop.

and the way toji was looking at you, it makes you want to throw up.

“i must've been so stupid to you” you let out a humourless chuckle. “did you pretend im her?”

your gaze was sharp and so were your words. maybe all your bottled up feelings were resurfacing. it doesn't make you feel better about it but that doesn't stop you though.

“answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and when you're holding me, was she the one on your mind??” your voice was loud now. you should be afraid of waking up megumi who you cradled to sleep just a few hours ago but no, your thoughts are too clouded right now.

toji sighs. he has no excuse.

“i used to” he actually looks ashamed as if he wasn't the one who did it purely out of his will.

your scoff makes him wince “but not anymore.”

his words fall on deaf ears “you know… i knew you did. but i stayed regardless because i thought there would be a chance that maybe one day, you could open up your heart to me. im not even asking for all of it, just a little… i thought you'd let me in.”

you're blabbering and honestly, so distraught.

“but not a moment was there when it was me isn't it? it was always her in the first place.”

now toji should have said something, anything but he stays there planted in place. and maybe that was your breaking point.

you turn around, grabbing your bag and brushing past him towards the door. instead of holding onto you and stopping you, toji clutches the small box containing the ring — your ring in his pocket, almost crushing it in the process, as he hears the door slam.

you think it's funny how toji did not reach out after what happened. it's poetic even. very fitting of him, till the very end, he did not give two shits about you.

so then, why were you back here?

it's been four long years since the trajectory of your life changed. you still don't know if it was for the better or for the worse.

saying it has been hard would be an understatement. it took you a long time just to get back onto your own feet but you did it regardless. however, you left a part of you here long ago and now, you're here to take it back.

that and you missed megumi dearly. perhaps it was an excuse too because you won't deny a part of you still missed toji, despite everything that happened.

standing a few feet away from the place you used to call home, you hesitate.

maybe this was a bad idea. oh this was definitely a bad idea. you'll see them, and then what? what comes after that?

closure? don't make yourself laugh. you’ll just be reminded of how you couldn't be that person for toji— how you'll always come second. and what if they moved?? there's no reason they'd still be here right?

forget this, you don't need to do this. why must you still be the one who put effort? to reach out? four long years passed and still no news means they clearly moved on... right?

you were convinced enough and was about to go back when you saw little megumi carrying a backpack on his back, seemingly coming home from school.

your feet wouldn't move and your eyes wouldn't blink. he grew up so well.

the world pauses as your gaze follows the kid you used to consider your own, now as good as a stranger.

“do you know that kid?” a voice at your back makes you whip your head around. life really is full of surprises and this time, the surprise was in the form of a tall man, no a tall kid with white hair, looking at you curiously through his round tinted glasses.

“... no i don't” well you weren't exactly lying. you don't know the megumi you see now. perhaps if he asked whether you raised him since he was a baby till he was two, then your answer would've been different.

“oh okay” the boy shrugs. “poor guy though”

“why? whats up with him?” you turn to look at megumi again who was minding his business walking home and your heart aches a little.

“I'm here to recruit him. his dad died you see so he's–”

“wait what was that??”

“his dad. he's dead” the amused boy in front of you chuckles and you stare at him, horrified.

“what happened to him?” your voice was shaky and doesn't sound like your own. he leans down to meet your eye level and smirks “why? i thought you don't know that kid. why does that matter to you?”

your stomach churns as you stare at him, not even knowing what to say— the smug expression on his face only widens.

“so you do know him.”

'know' would be a weak word to use when it comes to toji. you knew of his habits, the simple things he does and also of the more complex ones — like the exact place his scar decorated his lips and how it felt to kiss it.

then again, you don't really know anything about him and maybe you never will.

and maybe that's really, the closure you needed.

[sleevesareforlosers]

you get into bed with a guy you just met and you notice a hole in his sheets and mattress and he goes 'oh yeah by the way sometimes when i have a bad dream i unsheath my bed knife and stab the pillow in my sleep' and chuckles a bit shyly and you go okay because now you have more questions than you started with but he also has his hand between your legs so you take your chances and when youre pillowtalking afterwards you ask if maybe you can sleep on the side of the mattress that doesnt have a stab mark and he laughs like youre crazy because 'what if theres an intruder you dont know where i keep my bed knife' which just from the name seems pretty self explanatory and also you saw it when he was pulling at the sheets earlier but anyway you nod and shrug to yourself because its too late to take a bus and you splurged on a fancy iced coffee yesterday so you cant afford an uber and you really carefully arrange yourself so your face neck and chest aren't near the (very deep) stab hole and it takes a bit but you do fall asleep only to get woken up by him tossing and turning and whimpering almost like hes having a bad dream and you start calculating your odds of wrestling a knife away from this guy versus just throwing yourself out of bed and maybe waking up the roommate he mentioned didnt like having overnight guests but then you notice hes struggling with the sheath like really just can not get the snap open and its a little funny a little sad so you take pity on the poor guy and unsnap the sheath and he pulls the knife out and plunges it into the pillow where your head just was and the blade slips into the handle and you realise its only a prop knife and it startles you so much you laugh and wake him up and he blinks up at you so blearily when you ask how he ripped a hole through the mattress if his bed knife is a prop knife and slurs 'thats from when i want to fuck the mattress'

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

keeping LOGAN HOWLETT company when you notice him having a bad day

implied fem!reader. grumpy x sunshine. fluff

idk when this is set, bc xmen timelines confuse the fuck out of me. and yeah sorry, another fic for him. I can’t stop with ideas, im like a freight train

It wasn’t always easy to deal with Logan when he was this way – his grumpy, closed-off self retreating into his once far more reserved ways. Sometimes after a bad day he’d shut himself off, only finding the comfort at the bottom of an empty whiskey bottle. 

He has to remember he has you now. He’s no longer alone.

He’s out on the porch, sitting on the steps, elbows on his knees with a crystal tumbler clasped in hand. It was starting to rain, the clouds spitting as if to add insult to injury – the weather mirroring his feelings. 

You wanted to give him time – give a moment for him to come to you. But as you see the rain fall harder, his exposed self sitting under a heavy patch of downpour, you grab your umbrella from its nook by the front door. 

You open the door slowly, trying not to startle him with the abrupt noise. 

“Hi,” you say, voice soft. “Can I keep you company?” you ask, hesitant footing keeping you in place.

He nods, moving the bottle from his side to between his booted feet – making space for you. He keeps his eyes ahead, looking out into the forest.

You sit beside him, holding the umbrella higher up to shield you both, scooting in closer when you notice parts of him left out under the covering. 

“Do uh—” you stall, turning to look at the side of him. “Do you want to talk about it?” you question, speaking carefully as not push him away further. 

“Nothing much to say,” he murmurs, words quiet and distracted as he swirls the amber liquid in the glass – eyes focused as he watches its motion.

You pause and fiddle with the handle of the brolly, uncertain of what to say. It wasn’t that you were uncomfortable, but instead, it was the opposite. You were so comfortable that you didn’t want your keenness to act as a repellent. So you wait, trying to find the words he wants to hear. Not what you think he wants to hear. 

And then you realise, the reason it was so hard to find words, is because no words should even be said at all. Words often hold no meaning, but actions, they do. He doesn't want verbal comfort, but instead something physical, something silent and earnest. 

So you rest your head on his shoulder, leaning into him as if to voicelessly show your care – the act sweet and gentle. He raises his glass to take a sip only to pause, pulling it away as if he was questioning its use. His eyes focused on the small amount at the bottom like he was debating with himself.

But he decides against it, placing the tumbler aside – his now free hand finding itself reaching over your shoulders to pull you into him. He takes the umbrella from your hand, holding it as he shields you both from the rain – replacing your job as he thought it to be his.

And like him, your hand now empty, you find yourself reaching behind him – wrapping an arm around his back as if to further the comfort. You nuzzle your head into his burly shoulder, nestling against him as you both look out into the vast expanse of greyscale brown and green. 

“I’m here when you’re ready.”

[boowritess]

part 2 lol

so apparently it's really fucking hard to get into the SAS. and ontop of that I've been getting tiktoks of people going around an army base asking why they joined. most responses were to pay off student loans, bills, school, (someone said there's was 6 years of prison or school and *mental note for idea*), the recruiter lied or spoilt them, barracks bunny.

141 (poly?) x notsobaddasssoldier!reader

and now i can't stop thinking of soldier!reader. who really half-assed their way through everything - only doing the job for the money and to pay off student loans + they had nothing better to do.

who somehow ends up being adopted by Price (kinda like Gaz i guess ???) all because reader happened to be in the right place at the right time and saved Price's ass while managing to complete a mission the Task Force were doing.

and it's not that you saved his ass or completed the mission that makes Price go *this is mine* - it's the fact that afterwards all you can say is-

"this shit is so not worth paying off my student loans."

"oh fuck i forgot to cancel my subscription. fuckk- waste of fucking money"

- all the while a building is burning in front of you but yeah just not at all concerned about what had just happened. so price just *grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you up, claiming you as part of his task force now.*

(lol you probably can't do that irl but this is fiction sooo suck my ass.)

and laswell's just like no... they are very much still green john. way too green. no.

but it's too late. he's already introducing you to the task force. singing your praises and you're just like

"man he promised to pay off my student loans and give me food." basically how ur recruiter got ya ass.

enough said. you get the whole off the books speech, saving the world by doing things others wouldn't like. but u couldn't give a rats ass - you should but nah...

and like... you know you're the rookie... you're still green... but some of the shit 141 do you just...

"so you just gonna kidnap the wife AND the child...? right... kid, you wanna watch bluey? here..."

"and you do this often...? crazy."

but you don't exactly protest. how could you with how much you get paid. you kinda just side-eye and look away when it's geta a lil crazy. *bombastic side-eye*

and the other 141 guys - oh my days. become just as enormed as price and want to start really trying to amplify your skills. but every time, they start explaining how to do things - the best way to go about a situation or how to fight a certain way.

you pull this face. like your top lip pulls back, your eyebrows scrunch together, and there's a slight frown on your lips as they speak. like you look confused/disgusted. but you don't even realise cause-

"why're you pulling that face?" 141

"that's... that's just my focusing face..."

"oh..." 141 feels bad

then when they do take you in feild you're shaking your head no. like you haven't been around that long. what the fuck? now you're bout to infiltrate an enemy base!?!?!

"can i just wait in the car?"

"no." price

"i'm gonna vomit."

"aim at the enemy." ghost

people think that because you're suddenly in this badass task force that surely they're just using you for your assets.

they all think you're the 141 barracks bunny. and maybe you should be pissed or annoyed or grossed out. but all you can do is sigh and pause from the burger price got you, and let out a long exhale.

"fuck... maybe i can just do onlyfans or be a pornstar... shit maybe it's not too late..."

"military is bascially sex work - selling my body..."

"not that different from what i'm doing now. body being used, check. body sore in the strangest places, check."

your tone so empty, blank and nonchalant, but there's a serious look in your eyes that when you grab your phone out to maybe do a little research on how you could do that, your phone is snatched from your hand by one of the guys and they walk out the room without a second look back.

with an annoyed huff, you go back to eating your burger. but suddenly, you turn to the person who genuinely thought you were a barracks bunny.

"hey you think if i be a barracks bunny i get out of missions and shit?"

"...that's not how it works..." rando.

"fuck."

and maybe you try...

like you go to price's office and the guys are already in there, chatting about something that you should really pay attention too but you can't be assed. instead you unashamedly start to speak...

"if i suck ya'll dicks can i get out the mission?"

"no. you still have to join." gaz says amused

"even if you-" *que long sigh from price* "even if you suck our dicks."

"that's fucked up. i should've done porn."

and with the most hurt and broken-hearted look on your face, you leave the office, closing the door with a dramatic sigh. the guys just stare at the door in... confusion, amusement, and maybe arousal if ya'll dig that

idk man just gimmie more soldier!reader who just really ain't the fucked, there for money, lowkey hungry and doesn't know what the fuck is happening. kinda a pet or little sibling energy that the 141 love.

bonus*

"wait so they aren't sucking our dicks?" *soap says getting slapped in the back of the head by ghost

a/n: brain is rottinnggg. i should be doing so much other shit but... cod just consumes my brain 24/7

[selfcarecap]

Over Each Other [L.H.]

Logan Howlett x female!reader

summary: Logan and you are just friends – you have a boyfriend, after all. But sometimes when you and your boyfriend are arguing, Logan listens and jerks off to it. He knows you two will break up soon, and he’s just finding ways to patiently pass the time until you can be his. Until one night, you’ve fought your final argument with your boyfriend and are in need of some comfort that Logan is more than happy to provide.

warnings: smut 18+ like this is more sexual and less fluffy (or angsty) than the summary sounds tbh (m masturbation, oral sex f receiving, unprotected piv, creampie, Logan calls reader princess, good girl, bub, baby), kinda toxic i mean you read the summary but still a sweet fic, reader is vulnerable so Logan could be seen to be taking advantage of her so don’t read if you don’t like, excuse the dramatic title and a few lines (from Linkin Park’s Over Each Other) because this is also me working through some feelings lmao, this is obviously not at aaalllll a realistic depiction of healing from a break-up lol (although I sincerely believe it would work with Logan..), X-Mansion era

note: not the fic I was expecting to be my first fic in over a month but my heart needed this so here you go <3 i also only proofread once so lmk if there are any atrocious typos lmao | gorgeous dividers by @dollywons

word count: 3.9k oops wth 

Logan knows he’s a bad man. He’s killed people, innocent people, committed countless crimes, done more evil things than he can ever remember. But now he knows he’s a bad man because of something entirely different. 

Logan shamelessly jerks off to the sound of you and your boyfriend arguing. 

He doesn’t even need to use his heightened hearing, that’s how loud you two are. Night after night after night he listens to you arguing, stroking his cock to the rhythm of your voice. 

You always have the upper hand — he would never masturbate to your pain or to you being degraded. Your boyfriend is a fucking idiot and you’re not afraid to let him know. Logan is sure he’s not the only one who knows that your relationship will end soon, and he’s fine to give you the time you need. Logan is a patient man these days; he can wait. But he’ll make the wait worth his while. 

He gains pleasure from knowing that soon you two will break up, and you’ll be all his.

Logan sees the way you look at him, senses the way your heartbeat speeds up that little bit when he smiles at you, smells a spike in your pheromones when he’s around. And he’s no different when it comes to you.

The more you and your stupid boyfriend argue, the closer you get to breaking up, and the closer Logan gets to his release. 

He’s listening to your moans of frustration this evening and imagines turning them into moans of pleasure, imagines licking your pussy until you’ve forgot all about your little boyfriend. Logan’s fist speeds up around his dick, hips moving up to fuck into his hand as he thinks of you and your gorgeous face.

Logan cums with your voice in his head, with the thought of you and your boyfriend finally breaking up, and shoots cum all over his own hand, down his forearm, and over his abs. He jerks off until he’s satisfied, lying in his bed a mess for a second – his hand coated in his cum, his happy trail sticky.

When Logan’s breath slows down, he realises your voice has stopped. You’re not arguing anymore – you must have gone to sleep. Then he hears your voice again, this time much closer.

“Logan?” A quiet knock at his door, “It’s me, you still awake?”

He pulls his sweatpants back in place and reaches for a tissue, only for his hand to land in the empty box. In a panic, Logan takes off the shirt that he’d pushed up over his abs, and uses it to clean himself of his release, using his freshly washed shirt like a rag.

“One second!” He calls out as he rubs the bunched up shirt over his happy trail to get it all off. Logan throws the dirty shirt into the corner of the room, and opens the door shirtless.

His heart drops when he sees the state you’re in, cheeks wet with tears and clinging to a teddy bear Logan once got you.

“Um… we just broke up. Can I come in? I know it’s late…”

Logan ushers you inside before the sentence has fully left your lips. Now he feels a twinge of guilt – he was too busy trying to get off to realise it was a serious argument this time. Maybe he jerks off more to the concept of you and that dumb boyfriend (ex-boyfriend) arguing and how hot you sound putting that guy in his place all confidently, than the actual fight.

As much as it pains him to see you hurt, he has to smile behind your back for a second when he closes the door. But a shiver runs up his spine when you let your guard down once you’re alone with Logan, all teary-eyed and small and sad. 

Logan sits you down on his bed as you tell him the full story. 

I tried to find my patience… 

All we did was talk over each other… 

 It was all a waste of time… 

There was nothing underneath… 

 I'm so tired of talking over each other…

Logan hugs you while you cling to him, your words barely audible with how you’re smothered against his naked shoulder. He gently rubs your back, and it only makes you hold onto him tighter. 

“Shh, shh baby, I’m here for you. It’s gonna be okay.” The pet name just slips out. Logan barely realises what he’s said until you look up at him all doe-eyed, nodding your head frantically. 

“I’m okay,” you say, “For now. Thank you for listening.”

“Of course, do you want to stay here for the night?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“‘Course I don’t mind, bub. I like having you here. Even better if it means I can take care of you while you need someone,” Logan says, and watches a soft smile spread on your face.

You sit up to wipe your eyes, only to realise you have no tears left. It’s been an hour since you got here, and you’ve calmed down. 

Logan held you, said all the right things, helped you see things clearly. You’re better off without that guy, and you know Logan will be here for you until you’re over him. More importantly, you’re sure he will be there for you beyond that too.

“Here you go,” Logan takes your teddy and gives him a special place on his nightstand, and lets you wrap your arms around him as you settle against his chest. He’s not sure what to do next, but it’s late and he assumes you have no energy to do anything other than sleep.

It surprises him when you speak up a few minutes later, though your voice is quiet.

“He couldn’t even make me cum…”

Logan looks at you and finds a pout on your lips but a glint in your eyes, the warm glow of his bedside lamp making you look like an angel.

He chuckles, “So you’re crying over a man that couldn’t even make his girl feel good?”

You nod your head and smile bashfully.

“When was the last time you were fucked well?”

You look away from Logan as you think, “Uh, I dunno.” 

“Hhmm. You didn’t miss it in all that time you were together?”

You turn to your side to lean up on your elbow, more awake again, “Well, I did. But maybe now I can… find someone better.”

You’re looking up right at Logan through your pretty eyelashes, and it’s subtle but so seductive, but he knows you’re too shy to initiate something, especially now when you probably feel guilty for not mourning your relationship more. But Logan is proud of you for realising your worth and ending it. Your ex should be the only one sad right now, not you.

“Of course you will,” Logan tells you, “You’ll find someone who loves you more than that idiot ever could and someone who will fuck you as good as you deserve.”

“Hmm, you think so?”

“I know so, bub.”

You give him a smile and move to lie down on your belly, head resting on your folded up arms. Your scooting around moves the blanket, pulling it off of Logan’s lap, revealing the half-hard bulge under his sweatpants. 

Logan pulls the blanket back in place, but he’s not sure if you saw.

“How will I know if I’m being fucked well? If I don’t have a reference…” you play with your hands, not looking at Logan.

“I could always show you,” Logan smiles, patiently waiting for you to gain the confidence to look back into his eyes, and you do.

“Only if you want to. But if I’m interpreting your signals right then..” you nod to his lap with a teasing smile.

“You saw…” Logan rolls his eyes at himself which earns him a sweet laugh from you, “Didn’t want you to think your pain makes me hard, or that I’m taking advantage of you.”

“Do I look like I’m in pain right now?” you giggle, a huge smile on your face, cheeks already getting warm with arousal, “And if you wanted to take advantage I’m sure you wouldn’t have waited for me to bring it up.”

“You sure about this, bub? We have all the time in the world.”

“I want you now, Logan. Been waiting to get the courage to break up with him so I could finally have a chance at being with you.”

“Really?” Logan asks, but you’re busy letting your gaze drift down his body, fixed on his lap now. Logan moves closer, and he takes your face in his hands, chuckling “You still with me, bub?”

You don’t reply. Instead, you push your mouth against his, and it’s the most intense kiss Logan has ever experienced. It’s like Logan can feel himself pulling all the pain from you with his lips, eating your pain alive and swallowing it, never to be seen again.

He doesn’t even have to open his eyes to know that you’re smiling more than you have in weeks. He can feel a new energy radiating off your body. Something is healing in you. 

You kiss until you’re both breathless, smiling and horny. Logan’s erection is pressing against your leg, and he can practically smell how wet you are.

“Tell me what you need, baby,” Logan says, heart beating fast from how turned on he is.

You pause for a second, grinning and almost too needy to think, “Tell me what you want to do to me.”

“How about I show you?” Logan lies you on your back, slowly pushing your oversized sleep shirt over your hips, and kissing down your body, down to your knees and over your shins.

“Is this okay? Tell me if you wanna stop.”

“Don’t stop,” you breathe, skin heating up where he touches you to gently pull your knees apart, “Never stop.”

Logan chuckles against your warm skin where he kisses you, from the side of your knee to your upper inner thigh. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you, how long I've needed you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” It’s hard to talk, but you’re getting the words out somehow, “Could’ve been with you ages ago.”

“Didn’t want to intervene with anything. You needed your time to break up. And I know good things take time, and…” his words die in his throat when his lips move to your panties. They’re soaked with wetness, and Logan inhales you, something between a moan and a whimper leaving his mouth.

“God, baby…” he whispers, settling down between your legs and then lifting them up over his shoulders, “You have no idea how badly I need to eat your pussy right now. Can I?”

You nod, fighting the urge to rip your panties off yourself.

“Use your words, princess.”

“Yes, Logan.. yes, yes.” It’s the only word you can think of right now, with the heat of his mouth so close to your clothed pussy. He smirks at your words and nuzzles his cheek between your legs, leaving your clit throbbing and the spot on your panties growing larger.

You clench around nothing when Logan trails the tip of his tongue up and down your pussy over your panties, your legs squeezing around his head, hands finding his hair.

“You gonna be a good girl for me and stop squirming? I wanna take my time with you, baby.” 

You nod and close your eyes for a moment, unsure if you can stop. But then Logan slowly pulls your panties to the side and seems to forget about wanting to take his time himself.

“Such a pretty fucking pussy, baby–” he interrupts his own words by burying his face between your legs, licking his way up from your pussy to the top of your clit and moaning as if it were the best meal he’s ever tasted.

You tighten your hand in his hair to pull him even closer and he obeys your silent command, burying his face in you more, his beard, lips and nose now wet with you. Logan licks into your pussy, tasting you like a man starved, one of his big hands coming up your body to place it over your tit.

“So fucking perfect,” he mumbles more to himself, finger playing with your nipple as his tongue plays with your clit. It’s been so long since you experienced this type of pleasure that you’re close already.

“Logan…” it comes out as a whimper, and he smirks as he lifts his head to look at you.

“Yes, princess?”

“Might not last long..” you say, and it takes everything in you not to push his head down.

“That’s the point, baby,” he smiles, and goes back down. He brings his hands between your legs to spread your pussy lips so that he can get even closer. You feel vulnerable spread open for him like this, but it’s a comfortable vulnerability. Your heart feels content. You know you can trust him. He won’t hurt you.

You’re so wet that you’re almost embarrassed by how loud it sounds when Logan eats your pussy. A pleasure you’ve been missing in your life for a while rushes through your body when Logan begins to suck on your clit, and your back arches off the bed.

You cum with Logan’s name a whisper on your lips, and he doesn’t stop until you’re seeing stars and pushing his head away. 

Logan sits up from between your legs with a grin, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and then licking it clean right after.

“You okay?” He smiles, and you realise how hard you’re panting.

“Yeah. I almost forgot what that feels like,” you confess.

“What, cumming?”

You nod with a pout that Logan quickly kisses away, covering your body with his as he hovers over you.

“Trust me, bub, we’ll make you remember all of it. You up for more tonight?”

“Yes,” you reply embarrassingly fast. You’re not sure you could stop if you wanted to, your body pumped full with the happiness hormones you haven’t felt in all too long.

Logan holds himself up over you with one arm, pulling down his pants. You’d tease him about the wet spot of precum on them, but you’re far too horny to think of what to say.

“Good, because you taste so delicious, baby, you’re not getting rid of me between your legs any time soon,” he smirks, leaning down to kiss you as you grin against him. You don’t want him to leave, ever.

His big hand finds your thigh, and he gently pushes a finger in, then two, kissing you and watching your face for any signs of discomfort, but all you’re doing is arching your back for him to push deeper.

“You want it, baby?”

You look down Logan’s body, eyes settling on his hard and wanting cock, the tip glistening with precum, “Mhmm,” you nod frantically, “I want it.”

“Been a while though…” you add hesitantly.

“It’s okay, princess. I’ll be gentle. We’ve got all the time in the world, okay?” He leans his forehead against yours and a smile spreads over your face again.

“Okay.” You lean up to kiss him, both of you getting lost in the way your tongues feel against each other for a few moments.

“Here,” Logan rubs a few messy circles over your pussy, his palm getting slick with your wetness. He wraps a hand around his dick, stroking himself a few times to coat himself in the feeling of you.

“I’m ready,” you tell Logan before he can ask.

“Good girl.”

Logan trails his thumb over your cheek and gives you a chaste kiss, and butterflies erupt in your belly.

“You have no idea how happy I am right now,” he says, and all you can do is look back up at him lovingly.

“You want me to put it in?” he asks, teasingly slapping his cock against your clit a few times. Then, he suddenly pauses.

The warmth of him above you is gone, but he’s not far. He’s leaning over to his bedside table, turning your teddy bear away from you two.

“He doesn’t need to see this,” he says all seriously, and you giggle.

You help him take off your shirt, and you’re bare underneath, and as good as it feels to have Logan distracted by how good your boobs look for a bit, you need him somewhere else.

“Logan?” you ask, and he looks back up at you, a nipple still in his mouth.

“Yes?” he licks a broad stripe over your nipple as he says it, and it comes out muffled.

“Kind of need you somewhere else.”

“Oh, do you, princess?” Logan hovers over you again, leaning on one forearm as his other hand rests on your tit, and he’s smirking down at you, “Where would that be?”

You grin widely, biting your lip as you carefully take his hand off you, and bring it between your legs. You don’t even have to guide him all the way to your pussy before his hand is gone from yours and he’s cupping your wet, warm pussy.

“Here, baby?” he brings two fingers up to his mouth to suck your wetness off them, and you nod as if in a trance.

“Okay, bub, you sure?”

“Yesss, Logan,” you let out a pathetic groan of frustration, your chest vibrating with the sound.

He smirks, bringing his hand, still slick with his spit, to your cheeks and squishing them together, “You’re so adorable when you’re horny, you know that, princess?” You bat his hand away at his teasing, but your grin might be even bigger than his.

Logan finally lifts one of your legs and pushes it up against your chest, rubbing a few lazy circles on your clit before he rubs the tip of his cock through your folds. He’s doing it to tease you, but you see him lose his own composure, expression turning into a frown of neediness.

You share another quick but sloppy kiss during which you take Logan’s cock and rub it against your pussy. He only pulls away from the kiss to finally put the tip inside you.

“God,” he groans at just the first few inches, and you both calm yourself down to make sure this isn’t over immediately.

“I can take it,” you say, wrapping your arms around Logan’s neck.

“You’re my good girl, hm? Gonna take my cock? You sure?”

“Yes, Logan. Need all of it, please.”

“I got you, baby. I’ll give you anything you want.” 

Logan slides his cock inside you, inch by inch, and you both moan when he bottoms out. 

“You feel good?” He asks, and all you can do is nod. You groan, only at the fact that he’s not moving yet.

“Me too, baby, me too,” he smiles, slowly starting to move, beginning to fuck you. And he was right, he’s fucking you well. Better than anything you’ve ever felt.

He pulls out almost entirely for the first few thrusts, then stuffing you full of his big cock again, your wet pussy pulsing around him, sucking him back in. Your heart beats happily against your chest and he can feel it too; he’s slotted against your body as closely as he can be.

“Such a good girl, taking me so well. You still okay, princess?”

You grin and take his face to kiss him, his hips stilling just as he’s buried inside you as deeply as possible. You make out with him for a few seconds, pussy spasming around his uncontrollably, and you feel Logan squirm and pull out of you a bit because he doesn’t want to cum yet.

“That’s how good I feel,” you smile up at him.

Logan grins, burying his face in your neck to kiss you there as his hips begin to move again. He kisses over your jaw and your cheeks as a hand comes down to rub your clit. Together with his dick inside you, pulsing with warmth and pleasure, you suddenly feel all the energy of your body flowing between your thighs again.

You whimper against Logan’s face, your cheek catching against his.

“You close, baby?”

“Mhhm,” is the only sound you can muster as you cling to Logan, letting him fuck your pussy and play with your clit until you’re almost there.

“Such a good girl for me. Want you to cum for me, alright, princess? Gonna feel so fucking good, yeah?”

Your response is a whimper against his lips as you let go, and pleasure floods your body. Your pussy clenches around Logan’s dick, and while he’s still rubbing your clit, fucking you through your orgasm, he cums.

Logan cums so much you’re not sure where your orgasm ends and his begins, but you know you don’t stop feeling good until he’s drained until the last drop and your pussy is stuffed full with his cum.

You both slow down bit by bit, breathless and grinning at each other, not letting go. When Logan brings his hand back up between your faces, it’s slick with your wetness and covered in his cum, and you take his wrist to guide him towards your face.

You look Logan in the eyes as you suck his and your cum off his fingers, one by one, and Logan kisses you the second you’re done.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he whispers in your ear, slowly pulling out of you and pulling you into his arms when he lies down.

“Thank you,” you respond shyly, unsure what to say. You’re too happy to pay attention to your words.

“I’m always here for you, baby. You know that. And as soon as you’re ready to move on, I’ll take you on the best date of your life, okay?”

You grin, kissing his lips, “Okay. And until then?”

“Until then I’ll eat that pretty pussy of yours every evening, and you can sleep in my bed whenever you don’t feel like being alone. Sound good?”

You wrap your arms around his neck, cuddling against his chest, your heart warm and happy as you feel yourself getting tired, “Sounds good.”

P.S. thank you for reading <3 reblog and let me know what you liked most about this fic for Logan to come and eat your pussy out every night <3

[omgeto]

☆ R U GONNA STAY THE NIGHT? — fratboy!GETO SUGURU

summary:geto suguru, 'top dog' on campus, is used to ploughing through all the ditzy little freshmen without any concern for their feelings. but now his biggest challenge, is you, and it's not getting you in his bed, its getting you to stay in it.

wc: 4k (look guys I did it)

cw: afab!reader, all types of fucking, masturbation, you ride his dick, you ride his face, he gives you like two spanks, he's kinda whiny but then at the same time not. you both think you're the boss of this situationship and you are both wrong. MDNI slight angst if you squint, or maybe angst angst idk

an: first fic in 10 days, is this what you call a comeback? idk but I hope you enjoy whatever this is I TRIED OKAY I TRIED! Also thanks bae @kazushawty for betaing some and bullying me in our chats

sleeping with a frat bro wasn’t on your to do list during your freshman year, but there is something about geto suguru that you just can’t shake. you thought that you were one of many, after hearing all the rumours about him that spread throughout campus and that didn’t phase you as long as he could get you off, you didn’t care what else he did. but little did you know he is all about you and he is finally gonna let that be known tonight.

"excuse me," a whisper brushes against your ear, a deep, low hum that sends shivers down your spine. hands press lightly on your waist, shifting you ever so slightly. you glance over your shoulder, eyebrows furrowing when you realise there is more than enough room for the person to pass. it's geto suguru, and you shoot him a withering glare.

"what's the problem?" he asks, a low chuckle escaping his lips as he observes the hard look you're giving him. but instead of answering, you simply turn away, refusing to acknowledge his presence.

geto, undeterred by your cold response, takes a step closer. his presence is magnetic, and you can feel the heat of his body inches from yours. the music pulses around you, the crowd dancing and laughing, but all you can focus on is him.

“y’know me” he leans in, his breath warm against your ear, and his voice drops to a seductive murmur. "can’t resist the opportunity to get a little closer to you."

“oh fuck off geto,” you hiss, but your words had no real bite, you move your elbow to try and deter him but his stance remains fixed behind you.

“you’re a hard woman to please,” he sighs, with mock sadness, “but as frat president i can’t have one of my party guest having a bad time at one of my parties can i?”

“maybe you just aren’t trying hard enough,” you retort quickly, finally turning around to face him head on, a teasing smirk appearing on your face, “what would you know about pleasing me?”

“i think we both know what i know about pleasing you,” he offers his hand out, “c’mon let me show you a good time.” you hesitate, seeing the spark in his eyes and he puts his hand out further, urging you to take it. you close your eyes swiftly, taking a deep breath before letting him drag you into the crowd of people.

geto hand remains a reassuring hold as he drags you through the sea of intoxicated dancers. he pulls you into him, his dick already bricked up as brings it to your ass, your turn your head and raise your eyebrow, and he flashes a smile in return his hands sliding down to hold your hips as he starts to gyrate against you. you quickly match his pace, throwing back your ass, your hips swaying in time with geto and the music.

he places his hand at the small of your back, forcing you to bend slightly, as he widens his stance and forces his body into your further. your mouth parts, at the contact, and you smile at the feeling — geto suguru actually has rhythm. he’s quick to pull you up, peppering light kisses against your face as he grinds into you.

his arm hooks around your neck in a gentle but firm hold, as he bends down to your ear, his lips whispering words only meant for you, as he continues to rub his clothed dick in the crook of your ass. geto manoeuvres his hands up and down your body, his fingers teasingly toying with your tits, as he explores all you, right on the dance floor.

you could feel the heat between your legs grow, so you pull away from geto turning around to face him, his hands coming down to hold you close to him as if he was afraid you'd run away. “not bad huh?” he asks, knowing that you feel the exact same as he does, you both didn’t even notice all the eyes on you, as the crowd of partygoers just witnessed you almost fuck on the dance floor.

before you could even respond, you could feel the wind being knocked out of you as a broad chest collides right into you. geto keeps you upright, so you don’t fall on your ass and places you behind him as he steps to the person responsible for almost knocking you over. 

as the fog of the moment clears, you see the cause of the commotion—gojo satoru, geto's best friend, is in a blissful state of drunkenness, a wide grin plastered across his face.

"heeeeyy, suguru," gojo greets loudly, his bleary eyes darting between the two of you. "is this you, yeah?" his words slur slightly, but it's clear he's trying to figure out the situation. geto doesn't respond verbally, but the subtle smirk on his face and the bashful look on yours speak volumes. "you know what we could do to make this night greater," gojo announces with an exaggerated flourish.

geto sighs, on a usual day he’s all up for entertaining his friend but tonight all he wants to do is entertain you. “what is it satoru?”

“shots!” he cheers, looking around the room to be completely ignored, in too much of a drunken state to even notice, “c’mon sugu, you love shots, you can even bring this pretty little thing you’ve got with you.” he finishes, gojo’s eyes linger on you a little too long as he sizes you up, his bottom lip pulling into his teeth and all you could do is raise your eyebrows up at him, puzzled.

“bro,” geto commands, and gojo’s eyes snap to his friends as he raises his hand in mock surrender, “just take us to the fucking shots.” the subtle tension between the two guys didn't go unnoticed by you, but you brush it off, chalking it up to frat boys being frat boys. 

it was soon forgotten anyways, with you sprawled across a table of the frat house, drunken partygoers jeering at you as your shirt is half pulled up just stopping at your breast and gojo is cheering as he’s sprinkles salt on you and lines your stomach with shots.

“care to do the honours,” gojo taunts geto as he finishes pouring the final shot. geto sends a glare his way ignoring him as he makes his way over to you, giving you a long stripe of his tongue down your stomach, before quickly downing all the shots on your stomach, his eyes stuck on you. gojo offers him a lime, which he snatches straight out of his hands. gojo tuts, shaking his head, “someones touchy.” and just to add fuel to the fire, gojo has his own lick at your stomach, more slower and sensual then geto’s was, and he pours himself a shot, giving you a wink as he drinks it.

“what the fuck man?” geto interrogates, stepping to his friend, slightly wobbling as the shots he just backed in swift succession, hit him quickly.

“what’s wrong suguru?” gojo teases with a playful grin, he wasn’t dumb he knew who you were before he even saw you, geto talks about you all the time. so when gojo finally saw you with him, with geto still downplaying how he hard he actually fucks with you, he couldn’t help but fuck with his friend a bit, “you jealous?”

“don’t even start with me ‘toru,” geto warns, and you begin to sit up with an eye roll, you couldn’t deny you were a bit tipsy, but no amount of alcohol could make you bear to see this lame exchange of fray boy bravado. 

“oh whats your issue man,” gojo brushes him off, going to pour himself another drink, but geto is hot on his tails. “bro we literally always share the hot freshmen, what makes her any different.”

“because she just is,” geto snaps, in an attempt of a hush tone but you hear him loud and clear.

“i think i’m going to go,” you say out loud, and geto hears you pausing, slightly panicked. forgetting all about gojo his focus back onto you.

“no no, you don’t have to leave, we were having a good time right?” he stammers, rushing to persuade you stay. you couldn’t deny that you were having a good time, geto suguru is actually fun to be around, and the way he was staring at you, begging for you just stay with him, hits you right in your core. he pulls you close to him as he murmurs to you, “i know you felt what i felt when we were dancing, just give me a chance and like i said earlier i could really show you a good time. if you let me.”

geto just wanted to get you alone, he could see that the heavy noise of the club was clearly not your vibe, but he couldn’t let you leave just yet. he offers out his hand just like he did at the start of the party, but this time you didn’t hesitate to take it. letting him cart you off upstairs as you both ignore that wolf whistles coming from gojo, “you better get some suguru, go and get some for the both of us!”

when you get up into geto’s room, you try to disregard the slew of people strung out in different rooms across the house. but geto was confident, he had no reason not to be with you in his arms, wanting him just as badly as he wants you.

“c’mere,” he beckons you, as he sits down, patting down his thigh. you happily skip over to him, perching yourself right on his thigh, your arms hooking around his neck, your hands clasping together, locking him in. you face inches closer to his, your lips part ready to taste him but he halts you, smirking as he says “you're cute, y’know that right?”

“how so?” you ask, entertaining him with an eye roll.

“you always sit in class with me, trying to act all bothered by my presence,” he comments, “but turns out all it takes is for you to come to one of my parties, and for you to dance with me, to get you cumming in my lap… literally.”

“are we gonna fuck?” you say bluntly, catching him off guard, “or are you gonna continue to talk nonsense.” even though he wasn’t talking nonsense, he was right, tonight really did change your perspective on geto. but you weren’t dumb he was the president of the frat, and his best friend gojo’s comments earlier only further cemented the type of people frat guys are.

you press your lips against his before he has a chance to respond, your tongue darting in his mouth as he moulds into you. one of his hands works its way down your body whilst the other stays caressing your face. you groan against him, driving yourself against his thigh, your clothed cunt, already dripping just from the friction alone. 

“you getting off on my thigh yeah?” he teases between kisses, and you nod, desperately pushing yourself into him. he hikes you up further, his lips still moving in tandem with yours, and he spreads you into lap so you could properly straddle him. you both had quick movements, both of you are needy and wanting of the other. geto’s hands slide down your back and keep your ass in a firm hold as you begin to rock against him.

geto pulls away from you, his lips already plump from the way you’ve been gnawing at them. you pout at the removal but he laughs, “patience, princess.” but you ignore him your hands darting into his pants, ready to free his dick and land it, but he places his hand on your wrist, his eyebrows raising in warning, “what did i just say?”

“to take out your dick and sit on it right?” you shrug coyly, chuckling at your joke, and he smiles, but the warning in his eyes doesn’t leave.

“strip,” he commands, the single word having you folding like a chair, as you fling off your clothes leaving you in your underwear. he pulls you by the waistband of you panties, ripping them off you in one swift motion, biting his lip as he’s met with your wet pussy. “she’s so pretty,” he comments, flicking at your clit and as he slides his finger down your slit, just about to enter he pauses, putting his finger in his mouth instead of in you. he swirls it around his tongue, “sweet.”

“suguru,” you whine, at his teasing, “this isn’t funny.”

“play with yourself,” he says, disregarding whatever you were saying.

“what happened to you giving me a good time,” you argue.

“c’mon show me how bad you want it,” he persuades with a grin, leaning back, waiting for you to put on a show for him, “i’ll make it worth your while.”

despite everything, you could just never tell geto, no. it’s the way he looks at you, the way he talks to you, how he carries himself. with how he is just leaning back in his bed, his eyes low in anticipation as he waits for you to pleasure yourself for him, exciting you to do whatever he wants.

your hand works its way down to your pussy, your thumb landing on your clit rubbing against it as your finger part your sobbing cunt, letting geto see how wet you really are for him. “f-fuck,” you moan out, as you push your fingers inside of you, your eyes clenching shut at the contact.

“oi,” geto calls out to you, your eyes opening and landing on him, “keep your eyes on me. okay?” and you nod, as you quicken your pace, watching as geto palms his dick at your performance.

“this is boring,” you complain as you continue to rub at your pussy, trying your best to reach your climax on your own, “need your fingers, need your di—”

“keep going,” he orders, smirking, he could tell by the way your stance weakens and your legs tremble, that you were close. you were predictable and even though you were hungry for his dick, he knew you’d be able to cum with just your fingers and his eyes on you. call him cocky, but the influence he had over you was unmatched.

you roll your eyes at him, but you listen, continuing to finger yourself as he told you. your mouth parts, and you exhale feeling yourself about to cum, you push your digits in you harder, and your eyes stay fixated on geto and he shrugs his shoulders letting you do as you please—for once. you moan loudly as you cum all over your fingers, releasing hard as you spill out all down your thighs.

“see wasn’t so hard was it?” he taunts, pulling out his dick that has been hard from the moment he saw you at the party. he gives it a few strokes, pre cum oozing from the tip and you hungrily pounce on him, your pussy still dripping with your cum as you hover over his dick. you pause before sliding down on him, hissing at the feeling of you stretching you wide. “fuck man,” he groans out as he feels you clench over him, “your shit’s so tight.”

you bounce up and down on him, as he thrusts up into you, his hips hitting yours in a hard flurry of repeated connections. you press your hands flat on his chest, as his hands stay cupping your ass, keeping you upright as he drills into you.

his pace is unmatched, as you try and keep up, grinding your pussy down on him, desperate to have him stuff you up even more. “sugu ‘ts too much, f-fuck you’re relentless.”

“c-cant help it,” he stammers, still maintaining his merciless strokes, his dick twitching inside of you, “your pussy is just too good, or should i say my pussy,” he finishes with a wink. 

“y-your pussy?” you retort, laughing at his seriousness.

“yeah it’s mine right?” he interrogates, sending a slap to your ass to prompt further confirmation, “tell me it’s mine.” you don’t respond, a teasing smile spreading across your face, as you stare down at him, still riding his dick. but geto pauses, halting your movements and he slightly eases you up off of his dick, “what was that?” he prompts.

“it’s yours,” you give in quickly, not even bothering to entertain it any further with how needy you are to cum, “of course it's yours.” satisfied, geto charges his dick back into you with no warning, and you immediately go back to pushing your ass down on him, spreading your legs wider to straddle him more, taking him in deeper.

“t-that’s all i needed to hear,” he stutters, feeling himself about to cum, so he gives you a few sloppy thrusts before easing you off of him, cumming all over your stomach. you're quick to follow, your cum spraying his sheets, as you slump over him, dripping down on his body. “i made sure to not cum in you this time, i know how angsty you get over that shi.”

“oh how gentlemanly of you,” you deadpan, “all gives love a stomach covered in salt and semen.”

“well what would you prefer? your pussy filled with my cum,” he taunts, smirking as you still, “i know i would.” you didn’t answer pulling your sticky body away from his, as you come down off of your high.

“are you gonna stay the night?” geto asks with a grin it was like clockwork, everytime you finish fucking he’d always ask the same question, never getting bored when you mutter the same tired words.

“you know i don’t sleep in frat houses suguru.”

he shrugs casually, propping himself up on his elbows and admiring your naked figure. "you fuck in them though," he remarks, as if that justified everything, "so what's the difference?"

rolling your eyes, as you begin to do the laborious task of trying to locate your underwear—geto always had the habit of throwing them across the room. "the difference is," you pause, looking over your shoulder at him, "I can wake up tomorrow in my own bed, feeling just a little less gross for even fucking you in the first place."

a mock expression of hurt crosses his face as he crawls up behind you on the bed, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. "oh, how you wound me, princess," he coos, his breath sending shivers down your spine, "just stay."

“no, i shouldn’t” you argue, letting out an exhale as his lips attach to your collarbone, sucking against your skin, pulling and nipping at it with his teeth. 

you try to distract yourself by putting on your bra but geto is quick to fling it off you, his mouth trailing down to your tits peppering kisses all over your nipples, murmuring “stay” between each kiss. 

he takes your boob into his mouth, sucking on its flesh as his other hand toys with the other, massaging your nipples with just enough roughness to have you writhing in his palms. your back arches involuntarily, your tits pushing further into his touch, aching to feel him further, “see,” he smirks as he toys with you, “you do wanna stay.”

“i won’t, if you keep talking” you warn, gritting your teeth as he pinches your nipples, rolling them between his fingers. “now c’mere, convince me on why i should stay,” you lift his head off your tits with your fingers, eyeing him down as he stares back at you with pure lust in his eyes. you press a kiss to his lips before steering his head down towards your pussy.

“since when do you run things?” he doesn’t budge, his eyebrows slightly raise as he chuckles.

“you’re the one that wants me to stay, no?” you counter, your eyes locked with his.

“well what i want is for you to come sit on my face and my head can stay sandwiched between your thighs, how about that?” his grin widens as your mouth parts, speechless. he tugs you by the arm close to the head of the bed, you climb up his body your pussy still wet from he fucked you before, leaking out your juices all over his chest. “so hop on girl, a man’s gotta eat,” he mutters impatiently, smacking your ass to urge you onto his lips.

he takes you in hungrily, his mouth enclosing on your pussy with such greed that he is practically drowning in your scent. he laps at your cunt, his tongue giving such long, deep strokes which have your hands pressing against the walls, grinding down on his face. 

geto grips and claws at your ass, he grins, his nose burying into your pussy as your thighs clench tighter around his head. “s-sshit suguru,” your hands slap against the wall as you squeal out, trying to grasp at something to keep you afloat, as the way geto is working your pussy and how his fingers dig into your ass cheeks, has you buckling over about to topple off of him. 

he hums against your pussy, the vibrations jolting right through you, having you moan even louder. his tongue darts against your clit, swirling at it vigorously, nipping at it lightly with his teeth. 

“sugu i—” you pant, trying to ease off of him, the pleasure getting too much for you, but his hands stroke both your thighs keeping them in place. “bout to cum sugu.”

you could hear him mumble something, you didn’t care what, but the two taps he gave to your thigh let you know you could release all over him. you cry out as you cum, feeling yourself spill out all over his face. geto continues to eat you up, drinking in everything he can take, his chin getting covered by what he couldn’t swallow.

 “you are way too good at that.” you gasp as you slowly come up off his face, your breathing still laboured.

“only the best for you princess,” he jests with his eyes half open, a blissful smile on his lips as his tongue swipes at the remains of you left on his face.

“yeah me and all the other freshmen you fuck,” you mutter, to yourself but he heard you loud and clear.

“what was that?” he urges, wanting you to repeat your claims. before you started fucking geto, you knew he was and what he was about and technically you didn’t care, you only wanted him for his mouth game—which proved to be very useful. but when he tries to sweet talk you you couldn’t help but be reminded of what kind of guy he is.

“i think you heard me,” you shrug, “i’m saying it to insult you or anything, i'm just telling the truth. you like to fuck everbody and everything.”

“wait? is this why you won’t stay the night?” he says, sitting up, staring you down. 

“you must be only a pretty face, if you thought otherwise,” you laugh at his shock.

“no it’s just i think its crazy that you just won’t stay,” he complains, glaring at you as you put back on your clothes, “we could get to know each other properly.”

“like we agreed when we first started messing around,” you cringe, pitying the pouty look on his face. “let’s just… keep this casual”

“but that was ages ago,” he tries to reason, “some may say you’re just using me for sex.”

“suguru we use each other for sex,” you respond quickly, you step towards him pressing a peck on his pouty lips, with a smirk on your face as you see his lips chasing yours as you pull away, “well i'm gonna go now, i’m sure i’ll see you at one of your many lame parties you and your people always throw. it’s been fun as always” geto raises his eyebrows in acknowledgement, blowing out a hard breath, as he watches you strut out of his bedroom.

“she’ll stay the night eventually.” he murmurs to himself, maybe it’s wishful thinking, but a guy can dream.

AN: she’s only gone and done it. but yeah how was it guys 🥺? There’s only two lines in this whole fic that I actually thought “damn I cooked here” if you guess the lines you win a reward. ALSO IDK WHY I WAS DROPPING HINTS AT SOME GOJO ON SOME MR STEAL UR GIRL TYPE SHIT but I just went with it. But geto is sooo sweet HE JUST WANTS U TO STAY and you don’t even fuckinnn stay 😭😭 looool aren’t u mean. Technically I wrote the fic backwards it was meant to start with the “r u gonna stay the night” AND then gojo and geto would have a a conversation about you AND the it would end w the party and u tucking but I wanted to keep if one continuous flow and ANYWAYS this an is becoming a diary entry so LMK UR THOUGHTS PLEASE CAUSE THIS HAD ME STRETCHED

[poguelandiarafe]

showered in secrets | drew starkey

pairings - drew starkey x secretgf!reader

warnings - smut, unprotected sex (p in v)

summary - you and drew are in a secret relationship. or at least it’s a secret until drew forgets it is and follows you into the shower, prompting madelyn to interrogate you as to what he was doing.

masterlist

--------

the house is buzzing with excitement, the kind that only comes from the anticipation of a night out with your closest friends. you, along with drew, madison, jonathan and chase have decided to get ready at madelyn's house and have some drinks there before going out.

you're always at her house due to living close by and she always jokes about how you may as well move in from how often you're there, even to the point of having your own drawer full of clothes, shower stuff and a spare toothbrush. it's perfect for an impromptu sleepover.

"mads, can i use your shower please?" you ask, already going to grab your stuff.

"course, you know where it is." she replies, flashing you a smile.

you grab your stuff and a fresh towel and disappear into the bathroom. the sound of the shower running fills the bathroom as you step in, taking a minute to relax in the hot water. you're wrapped in your thoughts, unaware of drew letting himself in and calling out madelyn's name when he's met with a seemingly empty apartment.

----

meanwhile, drew is looking for you, a frown on his face when he sees you're not in the kitchen or living room. his frown deepens when he sees you're also not in madelyn's room while she's doing her hair.

"hey, is y/n here yet? thought she'd have been the first one here. not me." he asks, leaning against the doorframe.

"she was actually," madelyn laughs, curling the last piece of hair, "she's just in the shower."

"oh, thanks." drew smiles, already making a beeline for the bathroom before he has a chance to realise what he's doing.

"drew?" she says, but he's already gone, "she's showering!"

his brows furrow in confusion, wondering why that was an issue, forgetting your relationship was a secret, "yeah, i know!"

stepping into the bathroom, the steam surrounds him and he takes a few seconds to stare at you, not having noticed he's in there.

"you should lock the door you know." he smirks, leaning against the door.

his voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you spin around, eyes widening in realisation that he might've just blown your relationship.

"what are you doing in here?" you hiss.

his smirk falters once the realisation seems to register and you watch as his eye widen, mouth opening to say something but nothing comes out.

"oh my god, drew." you groan, a sigh leaving your lips.

"shit." he chuckles awkwardly, "i asked madelyn where you were and she told me you were showering and well, i've never really not thought about joining you in the shower and i didn't realise and i'm so sorry i-"

"come here, stop rambling." you cut him off, reaching a hand out with a soft smile on your face.

stepping towards you, he grabs your hand and places a gentle kiss on your knuckles. your heart melts at the way he's looking at you and you can't help but lean forward and cup his jaw to bring him into a soft kiss.

"are you mad at me?" drew asks.

"no, but you have to sometimes think before following me into the shower."

his smirk returns and there's a playful glint in his eye, "i do think about it. that's why i always end up in the shower with you."

you roll your eyes but don't stop the giggle escaping your lips, "you're impossible."

drew hums in response before letting go of your hand and pulling his shirt over his head wanting to join you. you go to tell him it's a bad idea but he's already kicking away his trousers and boxers and stepping in, his tall frame towering over you.

"you know, i don't think mads would appreciate if we fucked in her shower." you mumble, but a smile tugs at your lips regardless, arms wrapping around his neck.

"hey, i said nothing about fucking," he leans closer, arms sliding around your waist, and whispers, "but i reckon we have at least a bit of time before she gets too suspicious, don't you?"

you scoff, shaking your head from his boldness, "you're a bad influence, drew."

"yet you still love me." he mumbles, starting to kiss your shoulder, trailing up to your neck.

"course i do," you reply with a genuine smile, "always going to."

drew smiles against your skin and playfully bites at your neck, teasing you. you're so close to giving in, enjoying the feeling of his lips on your skin and large hands gripping your hips to keep you in place. glancing at the door, you bite your lip, contemplating, knowing your friends might be just down the hall by now.

"fuck it."

pulling his face from your neck, you stand on your tiptoes and capture his lips in a heavy kiss. he reacts instantly, walking you a few steps backward until your back is pressed against the cool tiled wall. the kiss is intense, messy, desperate, making you forget all about the fact your friends are probably wondering where you two are.

he pulls back, breathless, "gotta be quick."

rolling your eyes, you tease, "wow, romantic."

"shut up." he murmurs, but there's no malice in his words, "don't have time for foreplay baby, you gonna be okay?"

"mhmm, i'll be fine."

drew's arms encircle your waist again and lift you up, letting your legs wrap around him. your fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck and you look down in between your bodies, watching as he strokes himself a few times.

"ready?" he asks, noticing the way your breath hitches when he positions himself at your entrance.

"yeah."

he pushes forward, both of you letting out a low groan at the feeling. the stretch is teetering on the edge between pain and pleasure, your jaw dropping in a silent moan. slowly, he continues to fill you until he's bottomed out, patiently waiting for you to tell him to move.

"shit," he moans when your pussy clenches around his length, "feel so good baby, so tight."

"move." you breathe out, head lolling forward to rest on his shoulder.

the sound of skin slapping soon fills the small bathroom and you can't help but bite down on drew's shoulder to silence the moans threatening to escape.

"look at me," he demands, forcing you to lift your head and look at him, "you okay?"

"harder," you beg, pulling slightly at his hair, "please."

immediately, he complies, thrusting deeper and harder than before. you don't even realise how loud you're being until drew's lips are back on yours in an attempt to silence you.

you throw your head back when a particularly harsh thrust hits your g-spot perfectly and drew takes the opportunity to slide a hand down to rub circles on your clit.

"c-close." you whine, squirming in his arms due to your high quickly approaching.

as much as he loves to hear every moan and noise he can draw out of you, there's not a chance your relationship has the chance to stay a secret if he doesn't cover your mouth when you cum. so, he tells you to take over rubbing your clit and his hand covers your mouth instead, knowing any second now your high would hit you.

"cum for me y/n." he encourages, "come on pretty girl."

seconds later, your back is arching off the wall into his chest as your orgasm rips through you. his hips stutter, the feeling of your pussy clenching around him triggering his own orgasm.

"fuck, fuck, fuck." drew moans, his cum shooting into you.

his hand drops from your mouth, uncovering your giddy smile. you don't know how he still has the strength to hold you up, so you press a quick kiss to his lips and let him set you down, though your legs still feel like jelly.

"i love you." he mumbles, hands squeezing your hips as if emphasising his point.

"i love you too. think anyone heard us?" you question, grabbing your shampoo bottle, since you do still need to properly shower.

"probably."

----

ten minutes later, you're standing in front of the mirror staring at a faint hickey that's starting to form on your neck. clearly, your 'no visible marks' rule has gone out the window. you'd kicked drew out before getting on with washing your hair, not needing any more distractions. but now you wished you hadn't purely to get the chance to scold him for leaving a mark.

a voice brings you back to reality, "y/n? you out the shower? i need to pee."

it's madelyn.

"uh, yeah hold on!" you call back, readjusting your top and sorting out your hair, attempting to cover the mark.

when you open the door, she stands there, arms crossed. she's looking over you as if she knows something but can't quite figure out what.

then she spots it. what you thought was a faint mark turns out to be getting darker the more time passes. she decides not to bring it up though, wanting to see what you'll admit to her first.

"thought you needed to pee?"

"not anymore," madelyn replied, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind her, "took you ages in the shower, you shaving your legs or something?"

you narrow your eyes at her, trying to figure out if she's being genuine or if she knows something. normally, she's easy to read, but now you don't know.

"just wanted to relax before the chaos hits soon." you gulp when she asks the next question.

"any idea why drew's hair was dry when he got here and it's now wet? or why he seemed to disappear for twenty minutes?"

your stomach flips and you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. pathetic excuses fill your mind, excuses you know she'll never buy in a million years and you don't know what to say.

"what? how would i know? why're you asking me?" you laugh dryly.

"cause i know he had the whole 'greasy bangs' phase but i know drew enough to know he'd never be seen in public wearing this much hair gel and i don't have some luxurious pool he could've been using while i was finishing my hair."

"maybe he just... i don't know, splashed some water on his face or something?" you stammer, avoiding her gaze.

"okay, now i know you're lying. spill, i know something's going on with you two." madelyn smirks.

you sigh in defeat, "fine, but you can not say a word to anyone. i mean it."

her eyes light up and she nods quickly, "i promise. not a word. please tell me!"

you look between the door and her for a few seconds, thinking over the pros and cons, but she's your best friend. you have to tell her.

"i-uh, okay. me and drew are together. and not in a 'friends with benefits' kind of way. like, we're dating, have been for about four months," madelyn's jaw dropped, her hand covering her mouth, "but it's a secret so please don't mention it to anyone later. you're the only one that knows."

"oh my god, i knew it. you're so cute together." she squeals, hugging you.

"keep your voice down!" you whisper-shout but return her hug nonetheless.

"i want details later." she pleads.

"yes boss."

"also, i know you guys totally just had sex in the shower. i don't care, but if you don't want anyone to find out, cover the hickey. the hickey makes it so obvious." she winks at you before leaving the bathroom.

yeah, you definitely need to cover that.