#is it a problem with me? do i need to change something? am i at fault for failing to communicate what I want to others?

[batrogers]

I work in massage and was just speaking with my mother about this today, and it reminded me that honestly -- yeah. I run into adults with this issue all the time, in fact.

I do deep tissue massage. A lot of people expect that it will hurt. Many think it has to hurt. And sometimes it does! But I am perfectly capable of getting similar results with less pain if someone needs that and asks for it, and if someone is in too much pain to handle they will get no results because their body will tense up at the prospect of being touched.

Someone who wants me to get rid of their migraine is quite often willing to put up with a lot to get that result (a little pain now to remove the ice pick of pain spiking into their eye socket--) and I respect and listen to that...

but I've started repeatedly telling people "It doesn't have to hurt. You do not need to be in pain to get results. You can let this take longer if you need to, to get where you want to be. This is all up to you."

The fact that more than one person has been surprised to hear me say that, that I'm asking "Is this okay?" every five to ten minutes, that I'm noticing when they flinch and sometimes I'm asking to get them to speak so I can hear if they're hiding pain...

We have a lot of problems with consent in the medical field. We have so many problems with trust, and it damages people's health in so many ways.

If I think someone would benefit from work on their hips and glutes in pursuit of helping their lower back pain, and they've not given me permission to work there, I will just explain why I think that. I'll explain the connections between muscles and bones, explain how hip alignment can affect it, and I'll explain things they can do for themselves to try and fix it, too which does not require them to accept touch they do not want.

Often they don't change their mind, but I owe them the professional respect to mention it -- I want to help them! -- and to leave the choice up to them what to do about it.

A child can understand why you need to do something. You can explain these things to a child, too. You can stop and ask why they're scared; you can explain how much it has to hurt and what can be done to make it hurt less. You can let them choose, or at least let them know why that's not the case if this is a (truly and imminently) life-threatening situation.

Vaccinations may save their life, but there's not really a time limit on when they can get them. You can give the child another week, another month, another year. You can give them more information. You can ask why they're scared.

A massage is, for most people, an extremely positive thing and often a completely optional one, that people seek out just to feel better, or before going to a doctor or for long-term management of a problem. I don't take insurance; they're paying out of pocket at least up-front to see me.

So why do I have people who expect me to hurt them, too?

Also on topic of Consent: whenever somebody says "Kids should have bodily autonomy!" some guy always is like "You are too unrealistic. What will you do when a kid is seeing the doctor and doesn't want to get a shot? Would you just let them refuse the shot?"

Yeah I probably would. You're straight up asking the wrong person if you want the nice normal answer here. Doctors and nurses forcibly doing (relatively routine) things to my body against my protests when I was a small kid fucked me up so bad that as an adult anything medical related is a huge trigger for me, I've had persistent intrusive thoughts and recurring nightmares about medical procedures, and I can't have even the most basic tests and health checks done on top of it.

I hate talking about it because I can't get comfortable calling it "trauma" and I don't have any other words that are useful, but it's made my life so much harder and really scary since if I start having a weird symptom, there's nothing I can move myself to do about it.

I figured out a loophole where going to a pharmacy instead of a doctor's office for vaccines reduces some of the stress, but I was still in stress and misery for days before I went to get my tetanus shot. The repulsion is so intense it feels like I literally don't have control over myself, it feels like I can't make appointments or plans about such things out of my own free will, and so every year I have guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt about how I should get the flu shot, and it does nothing but ineffectually hurt me.

Vaccines save lives and all that, but when it comes right down to it, I don't think it's actually a net benefit to public health to give any percentage of kids lifelong psychological scars so deep and painful they're almost completely barred from accessing health care as adults.

I know I'm not the only one, far from it.

[thetarotyapper]

what's 2025 going to be like for you? (pick-a-card reading)

1. 2. 3.

paid services<3 18+ paid services<3 tarot community<3

(how to pick a card? observe the given options and choose the one which you feel the most drawn to. select the card based on the number provided below and scroll down to read about the card you have chosen. remember, this is a general reading, so take what resonates! ps.- if you feel drawn to more than one card/image/pile, feel free to read the others too!! if the chosen pile doesn't relate to you, feel free to choose another. the choice is yours<3)

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　

۶ৎ pile 1 ۶ৎ

i see that in 2025, you will be leaving your past behind and you will be focusing on building yourself. i see that you will be improving your skills and i see that there will be a good financial opportunity for you. im also getting a message here that you might discover something that'll help you grow (as in like it will help you financially. maybe it's a new business idea? or something of that sort). i'm also seeing that there will be companionship. if you're single, i see that you will be meeting someone new and there is a mutual attraction/connection here. i see you coming out of your comfort zone and putting yourself out there. i am also getting a feeling that maybe last year you might've felt insecure or not so confident about yourself, but this year im seeing that you will finally know your worth. if you are in a relationship, i see that there will be a lot of understanding and depth in your relationship. your relationship will deepen and i see you and your person forgiving each other for any sort of misunderstanding that arose before. i'm also seeing that this year will be filled with good luck for you. however, i do see that there is some lack of future planning in this pile. or just lack of planning in general. i see that you will need to fix your own personal goals and work on yourself. i also see that you might be scared of the future or the unknown, but the universe wants you to understand that they're on your side and that your luck is with you.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　

۶ৎ pile 2 ۶ৎ

oh my dear pile 2, im seeing that many people have been trying to bring you down lately. im seeing that no one hears you out and they don't consider your feelings. and because of this, you might be blaming yourself and might be thinking that there is a problem with you. you might be wondering “what did i do in order to deserve this?”. but my cards are telling me that nothing is wrong with you. people just don't like the idea of seeing you happy and fulfilled. my cards are telling me that you need to set boundaries this year and you need to be more courageous. i also see that people do not like the idea of you growing and because of this, you've been holding yourself back. you need to let go of all the negatives and focus on the positive. i do see that people will be persistent in bringing you down this year, but you need to stand your ground. i do see that you are hopeful this year and you are ready for a fresh start. i see that you have a positive perspective for this year and do not even change this attitude of yours. people will only talk. your life is up to you. if you've been thinking about an idea or thinking about the life you wish to live, bring that idea into being and carry it out. the universe has got your back.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　

۶ৎ pile 3 ۶ৎ

damn pile 3, i see a lot of tension and movement here. i see that your year will be flooded with ideas and inspiration. it seems like you have come out of a blockage period in your life and this year i see you moving on and getting what you want. you go girl! im also seeing that you will be DIRECT with people and let me tell you, they're going to HATE this. where's the quiet, shy pile 3 gone? SHES CHANGED. and changed for the better 😌. this is YOUR year. don't let ANYONE take this year from you. i see that you will also keep your heart open this year and i see that your prime focus for 2025 is your career. you're not gonna let any distractions come in your way. okay girl, i see you🤭. i do see that things might fall out of hand as the year progresses but you'll find a way to manage everything. you always do. so don't worry too much about the downs this year. i see only growth and potential. i do see you having to make important decisions during this year, so take a breath and do what your heart feels right.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦

hi loves!! happy new year 🫶i hope this reading finds you in good health and i hope you are doing well. take care of yourself and i will see you in my next reading. thank you for being here<3

(note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!)

[sidneywasfound]

FORCED TO COUPLE THERAPY | Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader

Pairing; Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader

Summary; The relationship between Charles and you these last few days has been complicated... especially in an intimate part of your relationship. Causing Charles to be in a bad mood all day, so his new teammate forces him to do couples therapy with you and a sexologist.

Warnings; Smut & Fluff,Hair grabbing,unprotected sex,Bad English writing,Talks about sex,Sex therapy,Not being able to have an orgasm,Sex problems,Charles being a jerk at first.

AUTHORS NOTE;It's not my best work, but I'll improve it in the future.

Charles was pounding You from the back,You clinged to the bed,Thinking that maybe that would make You feel something. Charles let out a whine,It really seemed like he was trying."hey...Do you want me to ride you? This happens sometimes and maybe if we change position..." You said turning your head to look at him,He looked upset and exhausted."i'm fine just- shut that precious little mouth,ok?" He said in a passive aggressive manner, making you doubt his tone."i'm sorry...just wanted to help. It's not something that can be hidden you know, I thought maybe... changing position your-" Charles let out a grunt to your statement,suddendly,he stopped and pulled out."Ok, ugh fine let's do the fucking positon." He said with annoyance sitting up,Leaning his back against the headboard of the bed."Don't be mean charles..." You said, grabbing the edge of the headboard and putting your legs on either side of Charles.

You rode him in the best way possible, a very sexy image,Your tits bouncing with every sit,You leaned back and moved your hips back and forth,Charles with his hands on your hips. "And?, You like it?" You said with a labored breath, he hums,his eyes are closed,he looks like he's trying to concentrate to feel any pleasure...and you were surprised when he managed to get an erection...But to be honest, you didn't feel anything either. "we should stop." You said leaving Charles and lying down next to him."What?!,Nono why mon chéri?." You turned around,facing your back to him."We're just tired, let's try again tomorrow." You said sharply,He just sighed and turned over to sleep.

//

Ferrari had a kind of virtual call to talk about some things about Hamilton and his adaptation to the team. His anger and bad mood were very noticeable.

//

"Good morning, My name is Sarah and I will be your therapist today".Both were sitting on two armchairs,There was a coffee table and in front of them Sarah was there,siting with a notebook and a pen."Could you two please tell me your names?" You smiled softly,while Charles was upset of being there."My name is Y/n and he's Charles,but i know you already know him" she scoffed."well i do haha,I was surprised a f1 driver like Charles actually have problems in his intimate life." The two of them opened their eyes wide and blushed."W-what? Hehe I thought this was couples therapy"You said smiling nervously "Yes... I help couples in the sexual field, I am a sexologist."She mentally hit her head and Charles gave a small gasp "FRED SENT US TO A SEXOLOGIST?!" Sarah laughed lightly."Yes, I am a support contact at Ferrari, he told me about your problems and I decided to accept."She grabbed the notebook and looked at them."should we start the session?" You nodded but Charles decides to interrumpt,Speaking proudly with his thick accent."In my defense I think they are wrong, we are fine! Our sex life is perfect." Charles said crossing his legs."Well, her face says other thing..." Sarah said, noting your overwhelmed face. Charles just growled angrily and sat up properly.

"Let's start with something simple, tell me, What is the reason You needed my help".You decided to speak when you saw that Charles was pretending that nothing was happening."I can't finish, and Charles can barely get an erection."You said sharply, Charles almost spit out the water from the glass that was on the table." I admire your confidence to Say it." Sarah said writing that down."Now that we have the problem let's start,How often do you have sexual activity?"They both felt the heat on their faces at her explicit questions."How long this will lassst?..."He said, dragging out his words in an annoyed tone.

—"Are you comfortable talking about sex and can you communicate your desires and preferences?"

—"What kind of sexual activities do you engage in?"

—"is some problem in your relationship getting in the way?"

—"do you use birth control? Does it bother you that only you use birth control?"

—"Do you feel emotionally connected during sex?..."

Shit that's it... that resonated on both of them making them raise their heads in surprise.Sarah noticed this and stopped writing down."Ok this is what we will do, some exercises to be able to connect in bed, okay?" Charles and you looked at each other in embarrassment, completely disconnected from each other.

///

"Go out to see a movie and enjoy it, and if it happens, it happens, we don't want to force the date into a 'let's do this quickly so we can have sex'

They tried and failed, now they were both lying in bed staring at the ceiling."i liked the movie" You said trying to break the awkward silence."What will happen to our relationship?" Charles said."i don't know..."You said,Putting your head on his chest."i love You"Charles said leaving you surprised."i love You too Charles" You said looking at him and giving him a kiss. It was slow and soft, he had a hand cupping your cheek. Suddenly the kiss turned passionate and wild, the two were now sitting on their knees face to face."i love You i love You" Charles said desperately between kisses."i love You too,fuck i love you" You said grabbing his hair and pulling him closer to you.

Are You guys joking? That was all that they needed? Saying i love You after a freaking date...? and also express their feelings,And go on a date after almost 1 year without going on one,And realize that they actually cared about each other. I guess it worked, because now they were riding Charles, he was immersed in your breasts,You grabbed his hair while he kissed your body."ah..Charles...fuck" You moaned as he kissed your neck while you moved your hips on his lap."

///

"Well! The problem is solve! You can now leave with these discharge papers." Sarah said giving them papers to sign."Papers?" You said confused."Yes, I must notify the Ferrari guidance team about this." Sarah said smiling kindly.Charles and you blushed knowing that probably all the Ferrari workers knows about your sex life."haha...Now everyone knows we couldn't have sex."You scoffed nervously."oh don't be naive!,everyone have problems once in their life with sex! Last week Lewis had a session." Charles eyes went wide."oh god...This paper will look bad on Fred's desktop but now I can make fun of Lewis!" He said joking.

[becomingthatgirl111]

The mindset of 2025

Happy New Year to all of you! I know I was inactive for a long time in 2024, but I'm going to start up again little by little. I have learned a lot of things during the year and when I feel inspired or ready to write about it I will.

I want to tell you that even if you didn't meet your goals one year it doesn't mean that they won't be met or that you are a disaster. Nowadays we are oversaturated with information and content from people who idealize their life to the maximum and although on one hand I think that is positive because it can help us to motivate us and learn new things on the other hand I feel that everyone's life is not the same and that each of us have different situations and sometimes we do not know how to handle them or we focus on the wrong thing and forget what we had planned or what we wanted to accomplish, but everything leaves us a lesson and something that I have learned this past year (the last few months especially) is to stop worrying and live life as you would like, no matter the circumstances, because the circumstances that you are going through right now, that which is preventing you from doing something you want to do will only keep you stuck in the same place.

Many times you don't have to do a thousand things or have a perfect routine but change the approach with which we see things, we worry about things that don't really deserve our attention and forget those that are important.

So for my part this year I want to develop a more stoic attitude towards certain situations and live for me, not for others. And I say this for many people who write me looking for advice, which I am grateful because you trust me but I always say it and I also apply it to myself because in the end we are people and there are things that bother us but do not give so much attention to those people or situations that you do not like, the solution will come, but trying to solve it or looking for a thousand answers you get nothing, better focus on what makes you happy or the goals you want to achieve.

What I want to say with all this is that for this new year it is no longer useful to continue suffering, to be bitter about people or things that we cannot change, when we change our attitude, when we stop giving so much attention to them, they will surely be resolved. and leave behind everything that you don't like and move forward, that's when you will see the real change.

Ideas for starting the year off right, manifesting and focusing

Write in your journal: ins and outs for 2025, the learnings you gained and look at them in a positive light, what you want to let go of, new habits you want to implement little by little, how last year made you feel and how you want to feel this year.

A meditation to kick-start the new year and visualise your goals or wishes.

Reorganise your space. Get rid of anything you have that no longer serves or pleases you, make changes in your room (or house) and make that space something nice that makes you feel comfortable to be in.

Start your plan. Set one main goal for this year and smaller goals that will lead you to achieve that goal in the end. A small habit you set today can lead to big results in the long run.

Nourish your mind with content that motivates you and helps you learn things to improve yourself. Not just personal growth but any area of your life that you think needs a boost. For example if you have problems with your relationships read or listen to podcasts on how to improve on that, positively influence others, learn about non-verbal language, that sort of thing.

And finally, don't wait for anything to change if you don't change yourself first. It's hard at first but change your mindset, act like an improved version of you. Think differently than you are doing now. Commit yourself to all your goals and if one of them is not achieved, it doesn't matter because you will have learned a lesson or you will have opened the door to something new and better, you never know. What has helped me the most to think differently have been the videos and podcasts about personal growth and other related topics. Because it opened up new ways of thinking that I didn't know about, and I was able to face things in a different way, but in the end you have to do the work yourself.

So I hope you have a good year and that everything goes well for you.

[potatoes83]

AI...

So I went to Taco Bell yesterday, the one on 11 Mile in Royal Oak, since the one up on 12 Mile in Madison Heights, although closer to my home, absolutely sucks. And this is something I try not to do, because it's nothing but calories, although a good and inexpensive source of protein, and I indeed regretted its return all through the night.

I pull in, roll the window down, and I hear the car in front of me talking to what is very clearly a computerized AI voice. A pleasant enough female voice, good diction, but with the very obvious pauses between phrases. I think that's the biggest difference; humans tend to trail off with their phrases, our conversations are a two-way street as we finish each other's sentences. AI doesn't do that. Okay, got it. Would you like anything else? No. Say, it's hot out there. Did you know you can get any medium drink for $2.99? Would you like to add a medium drink for $2.99? No. Okay. Got it.

At this point, making fun of the still imperfect technology, I would point out that it was late December in Michigan. One is more apt to be after a nice hot coffee then a plastic cup of iced sugar water.

Now, I guess credit where it's due, the thing did take my order with surprising accuracy. I order several different items, each of which has a modification because I'm either swapping out the ground beef or chicken in favor of black beans, or adding sour cream to something because it's delicious. It got everything bang on, much better than the voice assist on my smartphone or in my vehicle. And removing all doubt, there was indeed a sticker on the squawk box saying AI is assisting us today.

One thing I noticed is that even though I was perfectly aware that I was talking to AI, my common courtesy still instinctively kicked in; yes please, no thank you, that sort of thing. But when it prompted me for the roundup donation at the end, there wasn't that guilt of telling a human no, I don't want to send my change to some foundation, because I was talking to a robot.

I think one of the biggest problems I have with all of this is the lack of human interaction. And don't get me wrong, I'm an introvert by nature, leave me alone in my office to do my work, and don't get between me and my home. But you still need basic human interaction. You need the banter. Because I go out of my way to start my interactions with basic human pleasantries; good evening, how are you doing? No bullshit, no idle chit chat, but 10 seconds of acknowledgment that I am a human being talking to a human being. That was missing.

I very much doubt it's going away, though it would be nice if it gave you some quick little survey at the end so you could tell them what you think. Like those ziosk tablets at Olive Garden, at the end it asks you if the ziosk device improved your dining experience. And it's like, no. It may have made life a little bit easier for the server, able to ring the app in right at the table, although these days they can be just as easily carrying around a mobile device. So I'm able to slice my credit card right there at the table instead of the server having to go to the nearest POS station to do it, again, could be solved with a mobile device. It's like, I didn't come here to ring in my own order, any more than I'm still terribly fond of having to ring up and bag my own groceries. So as the end use Taco Bell customer, your AI didn't generally improve my experience one way or the other. Although, to be fair, I have had some absolutely abysmal customer service where humans are involved, when they're clearly just not paying attention, and you have to repeat yourself five times. The AI did help with that, I suppose. 🥔

guys don't worry about ai anymore

[hyperfixingfr]

I think it's really stupid to be mad when people criticize the way you draw/your lack of drawing fat people. You're allowed to be sad, because to be fair, I would be with any criticism, too. But otherwise, there's a great deal of people in this fandom who slim down every single fat person they touch, intentionally or not. If we can't tell they're supposed to be fat or you're underestimating their fat (ex making a character like HOAGIE have the amount of body fat that WALLY has) we have every right to be upset. And no, no one with a brain is going to take the "just my headcanons" excuse. First off, a headcanon is not, "completely going against established stuff". I have no problem with people changing canon when the canon material is problematic but that one is not it and you know it. Second off, you know damn well you don't have to change it. There is no logical reason to desire changing the body of ANY of the 3 fat characters that people talk about. Especially because for Hoagie, we can clearly tell by looking at his family that he will NEVER have a slimmer body type, even just chubby, unless he were severely unhealthy. The only time I endorse making a fat character slimmer like that is in cases like @kommandonuovidiavoli , who has a great plot involving Tommy and his battle with health issues causing him to become skinnier and "more appealing", despite the fact that his fat was a sign of health. It's the same reason that we don't change the ability of characters who already have canon disabilities, or change the sexuality of characters who already have a canonly established sexuality (yes, this only applies to characters who outright say "I am _" or creators who specifically state they are something). If you cannot tell the difference between fat bodies and skinny bodies in your style without having to really look, do something about it. It can really hurt for fat people, to see their body type butchered and misrepresented constantly. It's why I bring it up so much. I've gotten sent plenty of hate mail for this, and at some point, an entire discord server of grown adults was shit talking me for asserting that it's wrong to do that. But I stand by the fact that you lose NOTHING by keeping this specific aspect as is. There are millions upon millions of headcanons that exist out there for you to explore and I have no problem with them. The fact that I openly express and explain why removing fat from a character is bad, and then get called "controlling" for it, should say plenty about you and nothing about me. There is no gain for removing representation. Please pick something else. No one's gonna be "whining" if you just pick normal headcanons to have instead of choosing specifically the ones that are just removing a character's canon and well established minority group, whatever it may be. If it's REALLY that hard, there's charts to figure out what's minority and what's majority. For anyone who may be slimming people down unintentionally, well... Practice. Please. I really can't emphasize how much some need it.

[infiniteeight8]

Yay! Prompts!

What about a pre-transition Stephen coming out to Tony?

🍿

I am doing a couple of things differently here than a lot of trans coming out stories do, because I wanted to do something a little different than the other ones I’ve read. One of those things is a deadname for Stephen that is not any variation on “Stephen”. 

I’ve also got Stephen thinking of himself as “Stephen” and he/him, because this is his POV and that’s how he thinks of himself. Tony addresses him otherwise at the start, this being a coming out story.

In my head they’re both adults here, because late transitions are a thing, but it’s not super obvious in the text.

-

Tony flops onto the couch next to Stephen and hands him a carton of Chinese food. “One beef and broccoli for the inestimable Shelly,” he says, and Stephen flinches. Tony looks sheepish. “Sorry, Doc, I know you hate it when people shorten your name.”

Stephen swallows a sigh. The nickname is not the problem. “Thank you,” he says anyway, taking the carton. 

“You know,” Tony says. “If you wanted me to call you something else, I would.” Stephen pauses in the act of spearing a piece of broccoli with his fork. When he looks back at Tony, the man is watching him steadily. “No matter what it was.”

Stephen’s heart starts pounding. He could say, Michelle is fine, and Tony would let it go. But… it seems like he has some idea of what’s going on with Stephen, and fuck, it would be nice to be able to talk about the terrifying pro/con list Stephen has been grappling with. On the other hand, if Tony’s not hinting at what it seems like he’s hinting at and it goes poorly… Stephen really doesn’t want to lose his best friend.

While Stephen debates, Tony has turned his attention to his own food, apparently taking his silence for an answer. There’s no sense of pressure or expectation or disappointment or anything else, and maybe that’s why Stephen blurts outs: “Stephen. I want you to call me Stephen. With a ph.”

Tony looks back at him and grins. “Not Steve?”

Stephen lifts his carton of steaming hot food, “I will throw this at you.”

Tony laughs. “Keep it! A growing boy needs the fuel.”

Maybe it’s stupid, but suddenly the whole world seems brighter. Stephen isn’t growing in the traditional sense, but Tony’s not wrong, either: there are a lot of changes coming.

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Dramatic Ending Ch. 21 His Side Story

Dramatic Ending Ch. 21

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

People always rely on God when they are on the verge of despair.

Even in the face of the end, that stance doesn't change.

They turn a blind eye to the fact that the root of all this is God himself.

It's truly comical, even pitiful.

(...As I expected––)

Hiding in the shadow of a building, I sigh at the sight before me.

The sight of people kneeling before the woman favored by the God was spectacular in a way.

(What good is praying to a woman who isn't even a God?)

(...I wish she wouldn't get involved.)

Putting aside my own thoughts, I take a step forward.

I hadn't intended to step out in front of the crowd, but I changed my mind.

Azel: Oh my, everyone. This is a strange sight, but what are you all doing?

With just a single word, the surrounding noise is silenced.

As soon as the true god appears, the crowd instantly loses interest in the woman.

The woman herself stares at the god with wide eyes and, for some reason, starts pinching her cheeks.

(Ah, does she think it's a dream?)

I barely manage to stifle a laugh.

I really need to read the room here.

(Just how far are you going to push me...?)

Diviner: We have been searching for you, Living God. We were so worried that something might have happened to you...

Azel: Don't be absurd. I am a God who can foresee all futures.

Azel: There's no way I would put myself in danger, is there?

Azel: Naturally, I am also aware of everything that is happening in Tanzanite.

(But... talking to these guys really grinds my gears.)

It's not like the people being foolish and pitiful is anything new.

However––I recall the perplexed look on the woman's face just a moment ago.

If the God hadn't appeared then, the devout people might have captured the woman under the apostle's guidance.

As bait to lure out the God.

(With Silvio there, she probably wouldn't have been harmed, but the believers would do such a thing without hesitation.)

(...That's why I hate it.)

Of course, the ones who are truly at fault are the royals who created this faith, not the people.

Azel: You are all consumed by anxiety and fear right now, aren't you? Oh, how pitiful.

Diviner: Living God, please give divine punishment to the unbelievers who defile the God.

Diviner: Please protect our country so that the end does not come.

Voices pleading for salvation one after another create a dissonant chord, shaking the Land of Illusions.

I wonder how this sight of people desperately begging the God for salvation appears to the foreign tourists.

Azel: Everyone, lift your faces.

(Well, it's all going to be over soon anyway.)

As usual, I gently accept their pleas––and scoff.

Azel: You seem to be mistaken, but everything that happens in this country is by my will.

Azel: Because this is the Land of God, mere mortals cannot outsmart me.

Only after saying this do the people finally notice something is amiss.

Azel: Haven't you all been vaguely aware of it?

Azel: False divinations have increased, and oracles are no longer a guaranteed reality.

Azel: Is it a problem with the diviner's skill, or is there a problem with the oracles given by the God himself?

Azel: You all noticed this problem but turned a blind eye, placing all the blame on the diviners.

Azel: But unfortunately, the answer is the latter.

Azel: My oracles were the ones that were false.

Azel: Living God... why...?

Azel: Why do you think that is?

Azel: Why did I give you false oracles?

No one can answer.

(Do they even have the brains to answer?)

(Even so, I want them to think about it a little.)

(I went through the trouble of replacing the star-reading board and destroying the foundation of divination built by generations of gods.)

(For you, of all people.)

Emma: Is it to make the people of Tanzanite "thinking reeds?"

In the midst of the prevailing nightmare, it was the woman who was the only one to raise her voice.

With so many people here, only the woman who had recently arrived in Tanzanite reached the correct answer––

It reaffirms the necessity of the plan the God is about to carry out.

(Though it's probably also because you're particularly bright.)

Azel: This is the last mercy a God gives to his people.

Azel: I have received a great deal of love from the people of Tanzanite.

Azel: I've been preparing this for a long time... thinking I had to return the favor before the end came.

Azel: I, God, love all my people, so I would be happy if you would all be pleased.

(Well, it's sarcasm, though.)

(Suffer as much as you've made me suffer.)

(...Surely there must be a better future beyond that.)

Azel: You will all witness the death of God on the next full moon.

Azel: And if you don't like that...

Azel: Struggle all you want, you fools.

As I leave, I glance at the woman's face.

––I almost stop in my tracks, but I force myself to keep moving.

.

.

.

Dramatic End Ch. 22

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Been a while hasn’t it? I don’t know if you’re still posting for the prompt list but if you are could you indulge a Marko fan and do #16 with him please?

Oh my god, I am so sorry to let this request go unanswered for so long. I'm so sorry for the wait and a happy new year!!! (Seriously, it's been months since you asked this, and I just completely forgot - so sorry!) But yes, I can absolutely make this - I hope you like it!

16. "Come in, please. I'm mad at you, but I don't want you to burn to crisp."

------------------------------

A sigh escaped me as I laid down on the flat roof of my shed, staring up at the night sky. It was a clear night, and not only could I see the stars and the moon brightly, and if I really stared, I swore I could see an actual nebula. I smiled.

Next to me, a little less relaxed than I by the sight of it, laid my boyfriend. It wasn't that he didn't like stargazing - after all, he had suggested this. He tried his best to relax and to enjoy the night, but I noticed how tense he was. I sat up as I looked at him.

"Are you alright?"

He nodded. "Why shouldn't I be?"

"You look constipated."

"No I don't."

I gave Marko a look that clearly said 'yes, you do', but didn't say anything. "You know that if you're bothered by something you can tell me, right?"

"Babe," he sat up now too, "there's nothing wrong. I'm just hungry."

"We can order some food-"

"Not that kind of hungry."

"Oh." I swallowed, nodding as I was thinking. It had been a short while since he told me what he was, and if I was being honest, it was a difficult thing to wrap my head around. The guy I liked was undead. At least a hundred years old. Somehow, I was still more grown up than him, and it made me wonder if maybe that was a problem sometimes? Not just a night owl by choice, but by natural force.

Needless to say, it was quite a shock to experience that he was, in fact, a vampire. Even though I had managed to wrap my head around the many aspects of his vampiric life, the blood drinking - arguably the main part of his life since it was his literal life source - was one I still felt a little uncomfortable with.

Maybe it was because I knew he'd hunt people like me. Because I knew he'd flirt with them before killing them. Maybe it was because I couldn't fathom the thought of drinking blood. And maybe it was because I was a little scared. Because what if he bit me too? And i hated myself for thinking that because I knew he would never hurt me. I also hated myself for thinking that because a part of me, deep down, hidden far away, found that thought to be incredibly hot.

"If you need to hunt, then-" I was about to say something else but Marko interrupted me.

"I'll be back soon, babe."

With those words he left, and as I saw him fly off, I climbed down the roof, cursing myself for not getting a ladder while climbing up there, and went inside my house. I barely greeted my house mates as I walked past them to my room, locking the door behind me as I entered. There, on the bed laid his jacket. He had dropped it off inside earlier this evening when he found himself bothered by the heat, but now, all alone and quite frankly missing him sinc the left so suddenly, I was beyond glad he left it here.

I changed into my pyjamas, just a tanktop and some shorts, and slid the jacket on. The sleeves were a bit too large for me, but the softness was ever so surprising. The coat was heavy, as i had expected. Marko had added so many layers of patches, chains, and decorations that it almost started to feel like a weighted blanket. I smiled as I pulled the jacket close, laying down on my bed.

It didn't take long before I drifted off to sleep, dreaming a wonderful dream. My window was slowly pushed open, a gloved hand wrapping itself around the windowsill as a figure pulled himself up. Marko climbed in, vamped out but clean from all blood. He smiled at my sleeping form, walking closer and closer until he sat on the edge of the bed. There he leaned over me, leaving a trail of kisses down my cheek and neck, his fangs softly grazing my thin skin.

I shuddered.

I woke up with a quiet groan, feeling another added weight on top of me. Marko was giving me a soft kiss in my neck, and once he realised I was awake, he began to kiss me for real, kissing my lips and deepening the kiss.

I didn't mind, we had talked about this before and I had told him that kisses were fine. I quite liked waking up to soft kisses, but tonight, something seemed different. The kisses were more urgent and more forceful. As I tried to ask him what was wrong, he shut me up immediately, his mouth trailing down my face to my neck and there-

I yelped out in pain as I felt two fangs enter my neck.

He bit me.

He didn't listen when I called his name, didn't react when I tried to pull him off, or when I pulled him by his hair. Only when I slapped him when he didn't react for the fourth time did he look up, his expression frozen in horror.

"Why the fuck did you bite me?!"

"I don't know, I-"

"Forget it," I hissed, glaring at him. I had been clear about this from the very beginning. No biting. "I don't want to see you here again. Get out."

He didn't respond, he just stared at me.

"Get out!"

He disappeared as if he had never even been there, everything still remaining the exact same. I sat up, tears welling up in my eyes. I shook his jacket off, laying it on my desk chair, and went to my window to lock it.

Before going back to bed, I made a small detour to my bathroom, a small space that held the only mirror I owned. I looked into it and saw two puncture marks on my neck. I inspected them closer and saw to my relief that they weren't deep. Still, I thought quietly as I laid back down and pulled the covers over me, he bit me.

A week passed before I saw him again. An agonisingly long week in which I wasn't sure about him, about me or the relationship that the two of us had. I couldn't help but still feeling angry, and little betrayed even. I had trusted him not to do this and yet here somehow did.

I woke up one early morning by the sound of rocks hitting my window. As i lazily opened my eyes I heard the first birds of the day starting their songs, and walked to my window with a slight surprised look. There, outside, standing in the shadows was Marko.

I unlocked my window - the first time that week - and looked at him. I then looked at the sky and realised that the sun was really close to rising.

"Marko, come on!"

"What?!" He called back, not coming any closer.

"Come in, please. I'm mad at you, but I don't want you to burn to crisp."

In less than half a second, he stood in front of me within my room. I quickly closed the window again and pulled the curtains shut.

"What were you doing out so late? You could have burnt!"

"I needed to know you were alright."

"You bit me!"

Marko nodded, looking rather shamefully down to the ground. "I'm sorry it happened."

"Why did it happen?"

"I just fed and -"

"What, you wanted some desert?"

"No! Yes, no," he shook his head, "I wanted to wake you, to spend some more time with you."

"So?" I shrugged. "I don't bite you when I need attention."

"I know! But - I haven't been totally forthcoming to you."

"About what?"

"About what you are to me."

"I thought we were a thing," I sat down on my bed, looking at him. He nodded, so thankfully that wasn't it.

"We are. But-"

I froze. He couldn't be serious. A 'but' in a relationship talk was always a bad thing. Always.

"But what?"

"We're more than that."

I stared at him, not knowing what to say.

"What are we then?"

"You are my mate," he said, leaving no room to argue, "and when I came back and saw you asleep with my jacket on, instinct took over. I needed to make you mine."

I sighed, realising that he really had no ill intentions and was instead acting upon someone vampiric urges. I looked at him, realising how bad he must have felt that it happened. How glad I was that he found his way back here now that the sun was rising outside. He came back. He came to me for safety.

So I looked at him, pulling him closer when I smiled at him.

"You don't need to bite me to know that I'm yours."

[freakxwannaxbe]

May I ask how you personally have been handling managing your weight? You've really come far with it! (If this is too invasive/uncomfortable/anything like that, feel free to ignore!)

It's not invasive, I'm super open about how I got where I am.

So, I did not want to use fad diets or make complete changes to what I eat. I like what I eat. And what I eat isn't like, junkfood or anything, it's good balanced foods.

A massive problem with me has been over eating, eating when bored, and lots of sweets. So that is where I had to start making adjustments.

I replaced eating when bored with drinking water, and sweets got mostly replaced with things like nuts (walnuts, hazelnuts and almonds are my favs). The replacing snacks with nuts actually offered some nice relief to my teeth as well, because I have a sensory thing where I crave to crunch things. This also helps with the "eating when bored" thing, the sensory feeling of crunchy foods really sates the boredom thing too.

As for meal times, I started slowly making adjustments to my portions. This took the longest time - I didn't, realistically, need the amount of food I was eating. The fact I was gaining weight proved it, I was taking in more than I could physically spend, which is why it was being stored. But my body already developed the need to eat that much food, which meant I had to wean myself off of the massive portions. I did it slow and steady, and even then I could feel the side effects of doing it, my body wanting more, which would cause me to be irritated and developing headaches frequently. But I pushed through.

If I was more physically active and could burn up all that, this would be a different story, but I am not, I work in an office, I sit a lot, which meant my body was taking in more than I needed.

By now, I eat half the portions I usually did, and I don't feel the need for more (except for spaghetti bolognese and lasagna. I eat those until I pass out lmao). What was usually a full meal for me, now I can separate it in two and save the second half of leftovers to take to work the next day for lunch. And I feel full. It feels good, not feeling bloated after every meal.

I mostly eat everything the same as I did before, but I also started eating a lot more rice-based and plant-based foods, which is mostly a coincidence and wasn't something I actually planed on doing for the weight loss, I just developed cravings for them. Various chicken and rice meals, and also poke bowls, have been my comfort food lately, haha.

Also I lowered how much sugar I put in my hot drinks, there's that as well. Also did it slowly, so that it wouldn't taste super bitter if I went half instantly.

So that's about it. Slowly lowering my portion size, because I was over-eating, but I did it slow as to not shock my body. Replacing snacks and sweets with other options, but I do still snack in-between meals. More water. Less sugar drinks. Stopped eating when bored.. Because I took my time with implementing all of this, the timeline looks like this: I started adjustments to my food intake in early 2023, the changes started in late 2023/early 2024, and I have lost over 10kgs, aka over 22 pounds by the end of 2024.

I started moving more as well since I started my job, and I try to work out when I have the energy, but my focus was mostly on adjusting how I eat, without it being unhealthy or obsessive.

[fischlcatgirl]

okay here are my thoughts about genshin at the moment. i have been not making this post for a little bit because it. pisses me off.

I don't know what the fuck they think they're doing with these characters. HONESTLY. yes the state of them was getting worse gradually. it doesn't take a genius to figure out that when part of a character's draw is how strong they are, in order to get people to buy more and more characters, they have to get stronger and stronger.

but what felt before like a gradual incline turned into a fucking cliffside when natlan dropped and mualani was released at a similar power level to neuvillette (who had just just just powercrept every other hydro dps) WITHOUT the same investment or supports he needed.

The problem I think really is not the character kits themselves. It's not that they're out of ideas. It's just that the multipliers are fucking crazy. and to be frank!! I don't think i've seen one person who is happy with the direction things seem to be going.

i can't deny that there are a lot of good older characters and i wouldn't try to. I am. and perhaps will forever be. a fischl main. (all things considered a very lucky main pick. i considered xinyan) But i am annoyed by ccs who will try to tell you that international is still perfectly abyss viable. like girl. go play international then. go play kokomi taser. go play morgana.

content that should be designed to be challenging mechanically is NOT because it's way easier and more profitable to create a situation where the game looks you dead in the face and goes. drop 2000$ for c2 mauvika and citlali and just kill the enemies before they 1-shot you. otherwise enjoy the next half hour of restarting the chamber.

the fact that they changed the rules for the chronicled wish to put shenhe on rather than let go of hu tao, especially when they have arlecchino right there to give as many regular reruns as they want, is particularly scummy. especially after over a year of shenhe not having a rerun. incredibly nasty. just a flagrant display of how little they care about the feelings of their players as compared to their bottom line.

They're a business. Whatever. That doesn't make it cool or right.

I love genshin's story. I'm concerned for its direction. I'm concerned for the writing of its characters. Maybe I'm missing something, but Mualani's hydro vision doesn't represent jack shit in terms of a duality of character. Citlali could have been absolutely fascinating but has instead been reduced to a tusundre love interest for the traveller to a degree they didn't even inflict on Ayaka. We're supposed to see playable Skirk soon-ish, which I would love to be excited about but tbh with how they handled citlali (another woman who is hundreds of years old and incredibly powerful) I am preparing myself for disappointment.

WHICH SUCKS! I love genshin! I love it! I think that it started out a good game, and that it could be a good game again. Who knows? Maybe natlan will be the character-release equivalent of inazuma's story quest: kind of bad, but with much better things after it. Maybe they'll finally start running three characters at once. Maybe Childe will come back and I will forget my troubles again. I will quit genshin once it becomes virtually unplayable, or once they start releasing doubles of the same character, whichever comes first.

tldr; natlan powercreep needs to end and i really hope they don't fumble any more characters like they did citlali, but ultimately i still really like genshin and want to know where it is going.

anyway, if you got to the end of this long ass post i would love to know what you think and I would LOVE to talk about genshin i will do it until the sun comes up in the west. please talk to me about genshin

[anavatazes]

Decisions 2

Summary: Magneto is called away from Utopia to help care for an injured Rogue. Set just after the Schism, when Mags is still in Utopia, and Rogue is with Wolverine at the Jean Grey School for Gifted Youngsters back in Westchester County, NY. 

Pairing: Rogue/Magneto

Warnings: Trigger Warning: I am ruining the plot for my own story here by choice. There is a discussion of and partial scene of a character having a miscarriage. Because this can be a very sensitive topic and triggering for some, please proceed with caution. I did not go with anything graphic, but to each their own on what they can and cannot handle. You have been warned. 

Author’s Notes: This is part two of my Decisions fic. Looks like this might be turning into a series. I am not sure when parts will be added. The title will most likely be changing, and a series title created. Not sure yet. Plans are still planning. Keep an eye on my Tumblr to see updates!

*****

It had been roughly a week since Rogue's stay in the Infirmary, and just about as long since Magneto glued himself to her. Gambit had tried to see her before now, to apologize for his part in her injuries during the battle with the renegade mutant. He just didn't want to do it with her constant shadow. 

“You're being a big baby, Gambit,” Frenzy called him out. They were sitting outside, on a picnic table, enjoying the sun.

“It musta been tèrib if'n he come all de way from Utopia. I don’ wan none o'dat wit him,” Gambit didn't really have a problem with Magneto. Normally. But the way he was barely leaving Rogue's side told Remy that something serious happened and he didn't want to tread where he wouldn't be welcomed. 

“Idiot, it was an accident. Magneto told me he sees it that way. He knows you'd never do anything to intentionally hurt her,” Frenzy rolled her eyes at the Cajun. 

“Don' you have class?” He glared.

“Nope. I have a free period, so I can sit here and tell you what a fucking idiot you're being.” Frenzy was enjoying getting a rise out of the Cajun. 

“I just wan’ ta talk ta her alone.”

“Admit it! You're afraid of Big Daddy Magneto!” Frenzy laughed.

Gambit shook his head in disgust. “Remy not afraid o’ him. I jus’...” 

“Uh uh, LeBeau! You're not getting out of this one.” Frenzy held her hand up to quiet Gambit's protests. “You're afraid of what the old man is gonna say or do to you, even though I can tell you without a doubt, he holds nothing against you.” 

“Den why he here? Any time she get hurt, he let her deal wit it on her own.” It was something Gambit didn't like about their relationship. In his mind, Rogue needed someone there for her all the time. But it rose warning bells in him that something else may have happened to Rogue that caused Magneto to show up.

Frenzy sighed, “That's for him to know and us to find out.”

Gambit's eyebrow shot up at that. Turning to look at her, “He not tell you?”

Cargill cracked her knuckles, “Nope. Whatever happened, I'll tell you, has him upset. Not at you, and not at her. Just in general. I've never seen him like this. Even with Wanda.” 

At the mention of the Scarlet Witch, Gambit shudders. Being reminded of M Day and the catastrophic times that followed… it was not a time he wanted to remember too well. “Whatever it is, he barely lef’ her side. He also got Wolverine on a short leash…”

“Pryde's lovin’ it. He upgraded the security system within his first two days here. Currently, he's finding some basic education teachers for the school. He was furious when he saw the curriculum,” Frenzy laughed, again. 

“Logan jus gonna let him take over?” Not that what Magneto was doing was bad, but this was Logan and Kitty's school. 

“Pryde is ok with it. It's benefiting the students. And gonna help make us accredited or some shit. So we'll be official and the kids can get actual diplomas and go on after that. She says it'll bring more students in. More paying students.” She had to admit, that did sound great for the kids. Teaching them mutant things was good, but they also needed the basics of the world. Leave it to Erik to think of things like that. 

“If it helps the youngsters,” Gambit shrugged.

*******

Rogue lay in bed in her room. Magnus was in the shower, not aware that she was awake. Her head was still bandaged, the wound healing nicely. Wolverine actually offered her his powers. She declined, much to his surprise. She told him she had her reasons, and Magnus backed her up. Wolverine backed off and said the offer was still on the table. 

As she lay there in the bed, Rogue rested a hand on her lower abdomen. Part of the reason she didn't want to use Logan's powers was because she wasn't ready to let go yet. Magnus had guessed that was her reason. He supported her, telling her that unless her life was in danger, whatever she decided was fine by him. Rogue, honestly, hadn't ever felt more loved than she did in this last week. He doted, and made sure her needs were met, and even some of her wants. She wished she were in better shape to return the favor because she knew he was mourning just as much as she was. The pregnancy was unexpected and unknown, but once they'd had the opportunity to discuss things, they discovered it had been very much wanted by them both. 

Rogue had a complicated relationship with kids. She loved them dearly, but never really thought of herself as a mother type. Not to bring them into the world. It was something that scared her when she was with Remy. They'd had a scare once. He'd gotten so excited and wanted to start picking names immediately, not even considering her feelings. They'd gotten into a huge fight and Rogue came close to leaving him then. He finally apologized, but she still wasn't settled. 

Magnus on the other hand, during this whole ordeal, let her take the lead. Made sure what she wanted was done. That she was comfortable. When she was in pain, he and Rachel ganged up on Beast saying he was using antiquated books and information. Beast finally gave in, admitting that yes, not much study had been done on the female body at all, and he would follow the lead of his patient, but would also take care not to overdose her. That satisfied everyone. She hadn’t cramped in days, and Beast performed an exam to make sure everything was gone, and it was. She and Magnus clung to each other and cried for hours after that.

That was when they talked about deciding the baby had been wanted. They still haven't talked about any kids in the future. But Rogue could see herself having kids with Magnus. Unlike Remy, Magnus listened and paid attention. He even had when they first got together and birth control came up. They had an actual discussion, instead of him saying it was going to be his way or the highway. She guessed with his age and having been married and in other long-term relationships before, Magnus had picked up on listening to his partner. 

Cradling her lower abdomen, Rogue thought about what if the baby had stayed. Would Magnus be by her side? Would he be helping her? Be there for her. What would it be like to be pregnant and know it? Beast determined she had been about 12 weeks along. That was their last night in Utopia when he told her he wasn't afraid of a little distance. Sure, they'd had quick visits in between here and there, but both had been busy. And she'd been so stressed. When would she have noticed? While she was giving birth?! 

Then her thoughts trailed over to holding the baby. A little girl, maybe? The same beautiful blue eyes as her father. Maybe her hair, just minus the white streak. She would have been the most precious and loved baby ever. Joining her sisters and brother. But now… the tears flowed freely, again.

Magneto exited the bathroom, fully dressed, minus his shoes. He was going to meet Kitty in an hour to go over the applications for the new faculty. He noticed Rogue was lying on her side, cradling her stomach. She looked beautiful like that. Then he noticed the sob she just heaved. Padding quickly over to the bed, climbing in behind her, gathering her up in his arms, he held her while she cried. 

“It's muh fault she's not here!” She cried.

“Shshsh, no, no, no. We talked about this, my love. You are not at fault. You didn't know,” kissing her head, it alarmed him that she had gendered the baby. That wasn't anything they'd discussed. 

“It is! She's gone and it's all my fault!” She clung to her lover. He was her source of comfort and solace. When the world dropped out from under her last week, he had been there, and he was still there. Holding her, while she came to terms with this loss. 

Kissing her temple, Magneto takes a breath, “Liebchen, just breathe for me. Please.”

They lay there, holding each other, crying, letting out their emotions. 

******

“I apologize for my tardiness,” Magneto sat across from Headmistress Pryde in her office. 

“Erik, it's all right. You and Rogue are going through a difficult time right now. Rachel informed me that you both were resting, and we put two and two together. We don’t even need to do this right now.” She gave him a sympathetic smile. When they’d told her about the miscarriage, she told Rogue to take as much time as she needed. Next thing she knew, Erik was handing her the schematics and passcodes for the updated security system, and he was making suggestions on improvements for the school. He'd also asked her if it would be ok, that if Rogue decided to stay, that he could stay on as a physics teacher. It surprised her, to say the least. 

“Rogue needs proper rest without me fretting over her like a nursemaid. This should not take long, so I can go and check on her. It is also the least I can do for you, allowing me to stay here, offering me room and board.” Magneto took a folder from the desk labeled applicants.

Kitty sighed, chuckling. “Always working, Erik?” 

“Not as much as I could be right now. This is more of a distraction, and will serve as one for Rogue when we talk later.”

“You know you don't have to worry about room and board, right? With me in charge, you're covered for life. I still owe you for giving me my life back,” Kitty reaches a hand across the desk and places it over his. “As far as I'm concerned, regardless if you and Rogue are together, there will be a place for you here, always.”

He considered her words for a minute. “You're serious? You think you owe me for bringing you home?” He watches as she nods her head. “Dear child, you owe me nothing. I am appreciative of the gratitude, but you owe me nothing. You are a mutant, and one of my sisters, in more ways than one.”

“We'll agree to disagree, ok.” He seemed satisfied with that. “Now, the Language Arts teachers are all mutants, and pretty qualified…”

*****

Gambit stood outside Rogue's door, flowers in hand. He was still nervous about seeing her, feeling the guilt in his part of her injuries. Finally finding the courage, he knocks on the door gently. After a minute it opens, revealing Magneto on the other side. 

“Ah, LeBeau. We wondered when you would make an appearance. She is resting, but please, come in,” the older mutant opened the door all the way, making way for Gambit.

“If she be sleepin’ I come back later. No need ta disturb her,” he wasn't looking forward to talking to Magneto by himself. 

“No, I insist. Please, the flowers, place them on the nightstand,” he indicated the one near where Rogue lay. 

“Ok,” he walked in quietly, seeing Rogue sleeping peacefully, her head bandaged still. He did take note that she looked like she'd been crying. Going to the nightstand, he rests the flowers down on a space, near other flowers and a notepad, as Magneto closes the door. Gambit couldn't help but notice Rogue's beautiful handwriting on the pad, listing… baby names?

“Uh…?” Gambit stumbled over his words a bit. He couldn't help but stare at the notepad. 

Magneto sighed deeply. McCoy had suggested that maybe it would help Rogue if she went through some names for the baby, and named it. It had been too early to determine the gender, but Rogue insisted it had been a girl. The evidence of that exercise was there on the nightstand. This was a conversation he did not want with Gambit.

“Rogue is pregnant?” Gambit finally looked over at Magneto. The look on his face was confusing. It was a blend of sorrow and something else. 

Might as well get it out of the way, “She was.”

Was? She was? Meaning she wasn't anymore. That meant… “Non!” Came out in a harsh whisper. “Non! Dat woul' mean she lost it when… non!” Remy LeBeau gave Magneto a mournful look. 

“Neither of us were aware,” Magneto spoke carefully. He didn't want to cry or give in to his anger. Honestly, he did not blame Gambit for what happened. But it would be so easy to use him as a scapegoat. “Had we been, things would have been approached much differently.” 

“Je suis tellement désolé. De Gambit did not know. Tings ben differrent had I known,” Remy started crying. 

Magneto shocked Gambit with his next action. He put a hand on his shoulder, “LeBeau, I know. You have been steadfast in your friendship with Rogue. I know you helped her when Logan decided to be difficult with her. I know you have been there when I could not. I do not doubt that any part you took in her injuries last week were all accidental. So does she.”

“But de bébé? Dat is no so unforgivable, non?” 

“Whatever we do or say is not going to bring the child back. All we can do now is be there for Rogue. She is taking this especially hard. I am… beginning to worry. McCoy believes it may have to do with her head injury. That may be so.” He peers over at the sleeping form of his lover. The medicine that Rachel had brought up was doing its job. Rogue was sleeping through their conversation. “Come sit.”

Magneto led him over to the sitting area Rogue had set up, where she and Rachel usually spent time. The two men sat down in the plush chairs, collecting themselves. 

“Wha’ she nee’ from me? Remy do what he can ta help Rogue.”

“Be her friend, as you have been. Be here for her especially when I cannot. I do not know if this is where we will stay, I have left that up to her after she is healed. If we do, and I am called elsewhere, it will be a comfort to know that she has you at her back.” Magneto knew full well that Rogue could take care of herself. But he began reevaluating a few things about her and their relationship. Things he hadn’t considered before. Like emotional support. Rachel read him the proverbial riot act about that. Noticing that she was indeed thriving with it, even considering her reactions to the miscarriage, this was something he considered talking to Gambit about.

“O'course. Gambit a'ways has Rogue's back. I be dere fer her. No matter where she be.” 

“Good. We are appreciative of this.” Magneto looked like he had a weight lifted off of him. “It should also go without saying that the news of the baby is mine and Rogue's to share.”

“Gambit gotcha. No’ a word from him ‘bout it.” He pretended to zip his lips, causing Magneto to roll his eyes. 

*****

A few weeks later Rogue was given a clean bill of health. She and Magneto found themselves in Headmistress Pryde's office, ready to discuss the future. 

“I wish I could convince you both to stay,” Kitty was genuine in her sentiment. Rogue is an old friend, and Magneto makes himself indispensable around the school. It seemed once word got around that he was present on the campus, very few wanted to actually mess with the school. 

“Ah'm sorry Kitty, really. But, we need this. Muh body is healed, but muh mind and soul ain't. Some time away from ev'rybody will do me some good,” Rogue smiled, but it was empty. She felt normal, but it was almost robotic in how she responded and reacted to everyone. Everyone, but Magnus that is. 

“As I've stated before, where Rogue goes, so do I,” Clutching her hand tightly, Magnus hoped that Rogue felt the encouragement he was sending her. Felt how proud he was of her. She needed time. Yes, their people needed them. However, after hard lessons learned, he knew she needed a respite or things would not end well for her. And that would not do. 

“Is it a secret where you two are going?” Kitty asked.

“No. Ah thought maybe we oughta go back to where it started for us. We're headin’ for the Savage Land.” 

Magneto had kept up with his Citadel base, even made some improvements on it, and offered it up when Rogue had mentioned wanting to go back to the Savage Land. The light in her eyes when he told her gave him hope that it was the right decision. 

“Oh. Ok. You both will keep in touch, right?”

“That is the plan, Katherine. I have already talked to Scott, that if an emergency arises and we are needed, do not hesitate to call us. We will not be completely out of contact,” Magneto assured her.

“Good. Because I will miss you guys. Rogue, you are indispensable when it comes to the kids. We can't afford to lose you. But, I completely understand you needing time,” turning to Magnus, Kitty continues, “I know you will make sure you both are well rested and cared for while you are away. And the offer still stands for you to come back here. As long as I am Headmistress, it's an open invitation, Erik.” 

“Kitty, you have no idea how much that means,” Rogue is teary-eyed, unable to finish her sentence. 

“Just because my counterpart is a hardheaded idiot, it doesn't mean I am,” She winks. 

[xxplastic-cubexx]

it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

[yikes-ajax-thats-sad]

"BPD makes you have low self worth" well apparently not because my brain still insists that things that have nothing to do with me surely are because of me :/

[sysig]

Coding woes (Patreon)

[transmechanicus]

Kind of hard to ask as anon

But you doing ok?

Need to vent?

Hi very kind and thoughtful of you to ask, i am doing mmmmm suboptimal but i do not need to vent to a person per se, so much as i need to say absolutely insane shit in my tags and have everyone pretend not to see <3