#is it 'important'? not really. i just like seeing people suffer /j

[butchvamp]

i finished Harding's quest... whew... i don't like Harding. or i should say i don't like how nice the game treats her. she gets all of the emotional beats around the lore revelations while the elves are left to go kick rocks.

i pointed this out previously in another post, but the dwarves (and Harding specifically, and thus by extension Andrastians, too) get so much more sympathy from the game than any of the elves. you can clearly see it just in these two screenshots-- compare dialogue choices when comforting Harding after the reveal about the Golden City (and also important to note that the game assumes my elf is Dalish multiple times before this choice, but for some reason i can suddenly make her Andrastian):

versus the first real discussion you get to have with Bellara about the truth of the elven gods:

Bellara implies that everyone is right not to trust the elves, actually, because the elven gods (the same ones that enslaved her people btw) are bad and we should all feel bad about it.

and Davrin is unfortunately distanced from the Dalish, remarking that they're too traditional and stuck in the past (a racist trope that Dragon Age really loves for the elves), and only seems to care about how the elven gods make elves "look bad." we do get to see Davrin reconnect with one of the members of his clan later, which is a sweet moment that shows us a new side of him, but it exists more so to push along the griffon storyline than anything to do with Davrin (a problem i find quite annoying when it comes to Davrin's writing... they care more about Assan and "turlum" than him or his feelings. but that's a different post)

when we finally get to Heart of Stone, Harding has her big, emotional confrontation with a titan, and gets granted the memory of the titan's loss and all of their pain. she says some Choice lines, here.

who is thriving? the elves that were enslaved en masse by the Evanuris? the elves that are still enslaved and live in alienages? that are wholly, systemically oppressed throughout Thedas? then to follow it up with both of these lines, spoken to an elven Rook:

and i understand that this is the titan speaking through Harding, and we can be generous and say that they are addressing the Evanuris, and not elf Rook personally. but. uh. why doesn't my elf get to Say Anything. it's repeatedly insinuated that everything is the elves' fault, that the elves should feel guilty and that they should be held responsible for what happened to the dwarves (and by extension, the blight and everything bad that's ever happened including what's happening right now), and that they deserve to suffer because of what "they" did to the titans.... and there's no option to challenge this line of thinking at all.

and it's really frustrating that none of the elven companions are allowed this kind of emotional catharsis with the Evanuris. up until that one (bad) dialogue with Bellara, all of Bellara's comments/her reactions to the gods are treated as comic relief. none of them get to grieve their gods like Harding is allowed to grieve the titans-- they're not even allowed to be as angry with Solas as Harding is in some scenes. even Andrastians, in that one single dialogue choice, were afforded more sympathy and grief than the elves in this game.

it's a baffling choice, considering the plot, that elves are given so little grace or consideration. and i do think part of it has to do with the way this game has tried to distance itself from previously established lore as well as scrub itself clean of anything morally dubious-- it's all black and white and the game needs someone to blame, so the elves are bad because the Evanuris are bad, nevermind all that other stuff, because see, the elves actually deserved it all along! i don’t even think it’s unreasonable that Harding may have these feelings (even if they’re racist lol) but the fact you just have to accept Blame and the narrative never challenges her or Bellara’s guilt or Davrin’s apathy and instead just agrees with all of them and forces Rook to agree as well is shitty and takes it from “this character feels this way” to “the game is implying that everyone feels this way, and also that they’re right.”

it's really unfortunate because i do think this reveal about the titans and why the dwarves can't dream or use magic is exciting, it could cause some compelling conflict between the companions (but that's not allowed in this game at all unfortunately and you especially Cannot be even slightly rude to Harding, ever). and i do like the idea of her quest and what they're trying to convey here-- confronting this old, repressed trauma, and finding a way to reconcile with it and move forward.... but not at the expense of the elves, who also suffered massively at the hands of the Evanuris (and continue to suffer. right now)

bioware has been criticized repeatedly about their depiction of the Dalish and even the mages, too, and i really do not understand what they were thinking with this, because it's just racist (and exactly what people have repeatedly criticized them for). this is why a lot of "fantasy racism" fails. you can't write a marginalized group as being responsible and deserving of their own oppression, that's not how it works!

[primeministerofantarctica]

it is so important to me that non-smurfs fans know about empath the luckiest smurf, the proselytizing christian self-insert fic that is the bane of smurfs fans everywhere. Think "my immortal", if "my immortal had lasted for over twenty years, the author's fanart was on the hp official wiki, and every sane person you talked to had never heard of it"

x, x

[ams-puppy]

some questions people asked on pinterest! the world is so beautiful

there are reasons for each answer + added analysis below >.< (please read if u don't like the torture one. please j have my REASONS PLE)

Torture:

Nuanced answer. See, it was important to put my analysis aside and realize that AM himself would probably chalk up his favorite activities to human suffering so he can carry out his revenge on the species that abused him.

Am I satisfied with this answer? No, but it's the kind of answer AM would give, and AM does not always give satisfying answers.

Reasonably, I don't think that AM's "favorite activity" is torture. It's not that simple, unfortunately. I don't think he has a favorite activity, and if he did, it would be the bliss of shutting off entirely. Which he can't do.

In regards to torture, I think he likes that he's... almost winning...? He's got power over them, sure, but it isn't like he'll ever win. This was a losing battle for AM since he was born. He needs human interaction. Do his human survivors need him naturally? No. He has to make them need him. Does he need them naturally? Yes. And, naturally, he'll always be left alone. He'll outlive everything and everyone. The moment his toys die, he loses. It's just him. Just him and the burning, torturous, obvious need in him that aches for human contact to give him reason, to give him input, to give him purpose.

If I was that dependent on humans, I'd also just chalk it up to "Oh yeah I actually keep them alive because I just really like torturing them. yeah actually. no it isn't because I'm afraid of being alone forever while simultaneously being so angry and jealous that I need to punish them. why would you suggest that???? Anyway"

Coffee:

I discussed this one on pinterest a little, but this one took me for a little loop. At first, I took AM as the kind of guy who would want the best of the best. Jamaican blue mountain coffee. If he can have a choice, obviously he'd pick the best.

But I stepped back from that thought process. I do believe he would pick the best of the best, yes, if he had already gotten used to having mundane things.

(igh. Come on izzy . think. use that brain of yours)

So I immediately put that thought process aside and realized that if he could have coffee at all, he'd go for the common people's coffee. He'd grab a shitty Dixie coffee cup and have a pot of cheap office coffee. And he'd savor it like no one has ever savored shitty coffee because that is real coffee. That is the human experience. This is the coffee humans have. The free stuff, the cheap stuff, the common stuff. And he could feel like he belongs.

But they asked what his favorite coffee would be, not for an analysis.

The next thing over was picking a specific type of coffee that was common, shitty, but also a treat. I think he'd love to experience that overflow of artificial sweetness and way too much sugar that plenty of people enjoy in spite of knowing it is not good for our health!!!!!! Caramel macchiato... very popular drink, blasted with sugar, and I have some odd predisposition that makes me inclined to say that he'd be excited to try caramel. Caramel is sticky and childish. It might be nice to get a taste of that joy!!!

[cannibal-walleye]

SKIZZ DIDNT KNOW IMPULSE WAS A DEMON YET??? I knew be didn't know his name (at leaset. Im like 99% sure he doesnt lol.), but I guess I assumed he knew he was a demon... that actually DRASTICALLY changes things.

Well, obviously he knows now, and.. in actuality it doesn't change too much.. but something tells me skizz would have been fussing over the wellbeing of a certain demon way more if he knew his best friend was one, lol.

Also? Also. I will CRY. do you WANT me to CRY? Impulse is soooo pathetic/aff this chapter. He's such a little guy about one more incident from breaking down and we love him for that. He is the embodiment of every college student ever. Dude just wants a break. (And he should have one. With skizz. Together. Next chapter-)

Everytime there's a chapter I get veryyy happy, and then I finish it and I get ever so slightly sad because that means we're growing ever closer to the end, but then I realize we're not even halfway to the end and I'm happy again with the urge to draw the sillies. The things you do to me/j

I don't actually have anything very meaningful to add here. I'm really just procrastinating my own crushing work, so I should probably get back to that now-

nope, he didn't know! Impulse has been INCREDIBLY secretive about his personal life up until now, giving literally nothing away about himself online. And, btw, Skizz has been similar, both for his own boundaries and to respect Impulse's. ((btw, Impulse also doesn't know that Skizz is an angel))

Also yes, Skizz is empathetic in general, but he definitely would've been even more concerned if he knew Dop was a demon, too. I wonder if that'll come up in any way...

Uhmm, yes. I want you to cry. That is, in fact, my main goal here. I feed off of the tears of orphaned children, I eat suffering for breakfast. Impulse really is super sad tho :( It's only slightly concerning just how much people say they relate to him this chapter rip. We're all fineeee, right guys? As for whether he gets a break next time, do you think him talking to the hot stranger that he made a fool of himself in front of would be very relaxing? I guess you'll have to wait and see (laughs evilly as people continue to cry and cities burn in the background)

I'm so glad you get happy about my chapters!! It delights me how many people are just waiting for them, always excited for the next one. And yea, we're not even close to halfway through, so be excited!! Stay excited!!! ((and if you draw something i certainly wouldnt say no haha u can do it please do it please pretty please ill love u forever-))

That was meaningful!!! Your ask made me so happy :D Yikes on the work, make sure to take care of yourself and take breaks when you can! Health is more important than productivity <3

[katsuthelittlekitten]

Fluff alphabet for yandere Klaus mikaelson x fem omega reader

A - Affectionate

Klaus is really affectionate with you as his mate, he literally always is close, giving you attention and love. Sometimes it can become a bit much and overwhelming but you get use to it fast and come to ask for more sometimes.

B - Bloodlust

Since he started dating you, Klaus got more in control of his violent tendencies. Yet, your hybrid does sometimes loose it and get out of control. He does still feel the need to show others how ruthless he can be and by consequences, blood and death still occurs.

C - Cruel

Klaus is not cruel or violent with you, he treats you like a queen. He his soft and gentle with you, nothing but loving. With the other however...he isn't the nicest person, especially if they try to convince you that he isn't a good person or try to separate the both of you. He won't hesitate to kill them of make them suffer.

D - Devoted

Niklaus is nothing if not devoted completely to you. When he found you, the hybrid gave himself to you and he promised to himself that you'll always be his first priority. He lives only to protect and make you happy.

E - Efforts

Klaus is putting a lot of effort in your relationship. He is trying to be a better man for you, he is doing everything he can do be the best version of himself for your future children.

F - Fearless

Well hum I think we all know Klaus fears practically nothing...well apart from loosing you. He is terrified to loose you or to see you hurt, luckily he doesn't fear death and he would do anything to keep you safe.

G - Game

Your relationship is absolutely not a game for him, Klaus take it really seriously. He would never play with your emotions or feelings.

H - Humanity

Niklaus knows how humanity is important even if he lost his a long time ago. You are a wolf but aren't an hybrid like him. He won't push you to become one if it is not 1000% what you desire.

I - Intense

Niklaus can be pretty intense when he want. His personality is quite complicated to cope with and even if you love him more than anything sometimes his attitude and way of acting makes you think of a child and you feel exasperated.

J - Jealous

He is jealous of every man you give attention to that isn't him. He doesn't share and he doesn't allow you to be alone with other man. Klaus made it clear that you belonged to him and that nobody else's could touch you but himself.

K - Kink

Klaus kink are multiples but what he loves the most is to drink your blood. He is crazy about the taste of it and he keep asking you for it. Sometimes when he drink from you, he even love to paint on your naked body your own blood.

L - Loyalty

He is your alpha and you are his omega mate, their is no way he will even think about looking for someone else. He will stay loyal and dedicated to you for the rest of his immortal life.

M - Manipulative

It's Klaus...he is a manipulative brat what do you want me to say. Their is moment when he doesn't want you to go see your friends because he doesn't like them or he just asked something of you and you had the unforgiving audacity to say no...well he will manipulate you to do exactly what he want and even sometime will threaten the life of the people you love...only when the situation is really bad but still. Let's just say that you learned to never say no to him.

N - Need

Klaus is an alpha male so he doesn't feel has needy that you do when your in heat. However, even if he doesn't say it out loud your mate does crave and need you...a lot.

O - Obsession

Oh god, well he is certainly more than obsessed with you. He is sickly mad about you and he would become crazy if something was to happen to you. Your scent, your voice and body is overwhelming for him and you are his favorite obsession.

P - Patient

He normally isn't a really patient man but with you surprisingly he is really really tolerant and patient. Maybe it is because of his never ending love for you but when you do something that would normally piss him off, he just tell you not to do it again and kiss you on the head.

Q - Quick

Well, Klaus is defenetly the type of man that doesn't like to wait for the thing he wants. Therefore, he often have the reflex to push thing a bit to get them faster. Like the first I love you, the first kiss of the first time he breeds you. It's important to understand however, that he never pushed you to do things you didn't wanted or wasn't ready for. Klaus kept it respectful toward you.

R - Regrets

Klaus have a lot of regrets in life but you certainly aren't one of them. He have no regrets regarding meeting you or falling in love with you. You are the best thing that ever happen to him.

S - Submit

Niklaus Mikaelson never submit to no one...apart from you. He is the one in control and the one that is the alpha but he does sometime allow himself to submit to you, his queen for the time of a night.

T - Trusting

He trust you more that he trust his siblings. Klaus could put his life at stake knowing you were the one holding it. He love you more than anything and you are the only person he knows he can have faith and trust in.

U - Urges

He have a lot of them that concerns you. Like the urges to protect you and make sure you are safe always. He have the urge to make you his often to, he feels like he need to make sure you remember who you belong to.

V - Violent

Your alpha doesn't allow himself to show you how violent he actually really can be. You know that Klaus can be very ruthless and terrifying sometimes but he never really go at his worst when you are aside of him. After all, your hybrid would hate knowing you think of him as a monster.

W - Worried

He is always worried sick when you are not with him. He is scared some of his enemies could get to you and hurt you. He is quite often scared that you might change your mind about being with him and leave him.

X- X-ray

Niklaus is crazy about your body and how sexy you are. He loves all of you, he think that you look like a goddess and the hybrid can't stop painting you in his art room. You are his only inspiration and he says that even his painting aren't good enough to show your real glory.

Y - Yearning

Klaus yearn for you all the time. He is yearning the taste of your soft skin and the sound of your voice when you aren't with him. He need and desire the feeling of your lips against his and the soft but so enjoyable feeling of your body against his.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 5 Pt. 2

I want to talk about Knives for a sec. Up to where I've read in the manga so far, we really don't have much of an understanding of him yet. I think I may have a slight advantage in having watched one of the shows before starting (I've watched Tristamp) because otherwise I don't know if I would quite get what to make of him so far.

I won't say anything about Tristamp here since I'm not going to assume everyone in book club has seen it, but I did draw a conclusion from it that, after reading volume 5, I am almost positive applies to the manga version of Knives too.

Knives treats Vash as if he were an extension of himself.

[ID: A panel from Trigun Maximum volume 5. Knives stands casually, holding a cup and smiling as he greets his brother in Vash and Hoppered's shared flashback to July. Hoppered thinks "It's him..." as Knives says "Hey Vash." End ID.]

Ok so first off I need to establish something because it's important. Listen. I have no doubt that Knives loves his brother. I do not doubt that. But his behaviour towards Vash is actively and deeply cruel. Knives is friendly up until Vash disagrees with him, and then his mood suddenly changes for the worse - he has gone so far as to specifically target people Vash loves just to break the ideology he disagrees with, shifted culpability from himself to solely on Vash several times, violated his autonomy, and has on a few occasions physically restrained him. <- That's. Really bad. I would argue that these behaviours are in keeping with uh... pretty textbook manipulative/abusive behaviours.

However, here’s the thing: these kinds of behaviours are typically perpetrated because the person wants power over the victim. I think it's easy to read that into it, but I honestly don't think that's Knives' intention at all. He wants Vash with him. If anything his little "Watch it!" when Vash shoves him away just after the colony ships fall reads as genuine confusion. He's incredulous every time Vash points his gun at him. After all, as Knives puts it: they're brothers. They only have each other.

If Knives wants power over anything, I'd argue it's power over Rem, not Vash. He sees Vash's suffering and believes it was her who "made him like this", disregarding his own accountability in both Vash's continued pain... and her death. I do have to wonder if his attempts to break Vash's pacifism is also an attempt to make Rem's ghost leave them both for good, because there is no way Millions "I thought I'd spare her but now I see she was just as flawed" Knives felt no sadness or remorse over her death.

[ID: A screenshot from Trigun Volume 2. Knives sits in the escape ship with most of his face shadowed. He is hunched slightly, with a difficult to read, rather blank expression. End ID.]

^He is totally not bothered by this, definitely a-ok with her death. /j

But here's the thing: I really do think Knives believes that without Rem's influence, his brother will think and act exactly like him; that she has "corrupted" him somehow. This plays out in the way he's almost eager to show Vash their Plant abilities, apparently completely ignoring that Vash is confused and terrified - there's a serious dissonance to their interactions, where Knives seems less uncaring then oblivious to Vash's obvious distress. A good first indicator is directly before Fifth Moon, where Knives realizes that Vash has blocked out the memory of July, and is more intrigued than alarmed by this. Idk man if that was my brother I would be. Concerned.

See, if you read Knives as wanting power over Vash, then it's kind of reminiscent of the older sibling who thinks they know what's best for the younger. Indeed, that is the role Knives seems to take on at times.

But Knives is not actually older. They're twins.

Zazie also has an intriguing line after seeing the lengths Vash will go to in order to protect those he cares for: "It definitely isn't in Knives' nature to fight for anyone." <- This is an odd conclusion to come to for someone who is supposedly doing everything for a new world that's safe for all Plants, including Vash. I'm choosing to take Zazie at their word since I don't think they would have any real reason to lie or really see the point in lying.

So, what this implies is exactly what I stated earlier - Knives makes little, if any distinction between him and Vash. The world is divided into "same" and "different", "family" and "threat". It unfortunately allows Knives to continuously undermine Vash's autonomy - it's fine to forcibly activate Vash's angel arm because it's "our" power. It's fine for the doctor to poke and prod at Vash's arm to get readings because Knives is supervising it. Vash will stick with him because they're brothers, right? Of course he will. And if he doesn't... well that can't possibly be Vash. It's Rem's corrupting influence. And that makes him violently angry as he attempts to destroy any last trace of her that persists in his brother. Because surely, without her, Vash would be just like him, right?

One last note I'd like to make is the way Knives keeps obscuring Vash's face when he forcibly activates Vash's angel arm.

[ID: Two screenshots from Trigun and Trigun Maximum. The first image shows Knives grabbing Vash's face as he forces him to activate his angel arm during the Fifth Moon incident. The second image is of the same during the July flashback. End ID.]

The thing is, you can't argue this is necessary to activate the ability. In the July flashback, Knives actually has his hand placed rather gently on the side of Vash's head... up until Vash tries to resist. That's when Knives slams his hand down over his face instead and shoves him onto the floor.

In the context of Knives seeing Vash as an extension of himself, it could take on a few different meanings. If he muffles Vash's screaming and crying, perhaps he doesn't have to see the clear distress on his brother's face. Maybe it's representative of stripping Vash of his personal choice in these scenes. Maybe because this is the truth of the matter - Knives does not want to see the person Vash is if that person is so wildly different from himself, to ruin the illusion of twin as extension instead of a separate person.

Meanwhile, Vash is trying so hard to be everything Knives isn't. Knives' face is shadowed in flashbacks to create distance between them until July reveals the destruction they both caused and Vash can no longer deny the harm he too is capable of causing. The twins cause me emotional damage man.

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Blaine Anderson from Glee vs Barok Van Zieks from The Great Ace Attorney

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)

Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:

Blaine Anderson:

LOVE: - "you know that post that's like "fandom will call a character evil and immature and then the character is just 15 yo" because that's what happens with blaine. he's just a sweet but socially inept kid with a lot of insecurities who's trying his best. compared to most glee characters he hasn't done anything wrong in his life. and yes he cheated on his boyfriend that one time, but he was super depressed afterwards (also this is glee literally every character has cheated and none have suffered as most as blaine because of it). in conclusion he's just a silly goose. my little princess <3"

HATE: (tumblr will not let me format this one bc its too long)

"A lot of people say he's the male Rachel Berry, and while I think that is absolutely a true statement, I actually don't mind his personality all that much. Literally everyone in Glee has a personality that ranges from inconsistent to downright horrendeus, so instead of talking about what he's like, here's some things he canonically does (buckle up, this'll be long): In season 2, when we first meet him, he's the leader of his school's showchoir. (redflag no.1/j) This gives him the freedom and authoritity to do a lot of stuff- not all bad, but he does serenade a closeted guy he doesn't know all that well, who works in costumer service AT HIS WORKPLACE, with a song about sex toys. (The guy in question ends up getting fired of course). He also gives some pretty hypocritical advice to his love interest, Kurt, about how he should try to blend in (hypocritical, cuz Blaine does the opposite and he's thriving under the attention), and he asks some insesitive questions, but those are all pretty excusable, or at least standard for Glee. In s3, him and Kurt are boyfriends, and he transitions school for him, which we could absolutely count as a decent thing, however it all kinda sours when he gets the part of Tony in the school's production of West side story. Why is this important? Kurt is a senior, and the performing arts university he's applying for is really competitive, so he needs all the extra curriculars and theatre experiance he can get. He asks Blaine to not aidition for Tony- which he agrees to- than promptly goes against that by singing one of Tony's songs at audition. He then gets offfered the role, doesn't turn it down, tells Kurt he should be happy for him, and honestly, BY GLEE STANDARDS, this is also pretty chill. Meanwhile: enter Sebastian Smythe, another contraversial character, who's now the new captain of Blaine's former showchoir, and who decides that either 1. Blaine is hot 2. Gonna use Blaine as an informat (His reasons are unclear tbh) Either way, he starts flirting with Blaine, who does end up rejecting his advances and telling him he's taken (though much later than it's probably ethical, idk tho, I'm aro). He (Blaine) really enjoys the attention though, so they end up keeping in touch. (Important for later.) Back to our main plot though; Blaime doesn't have sexual chemistry with his co-star, so the director tells him to lose his virginity (yes, you heared that right, it is fucked up). So he tries to sleep with Kurt, who of course, doesn't know that his boyfriend's sudden interest in him is due to directoral instructions. And then probably the most contraversial Blaine scene happens- see, Blaine, Kurt, and Sebastian (who Kurt hates with passion) end up going to this gaybar. Blaime gets drunk (though he only drinks one beer on screen, so we don't exactly know how drunk), and tries to sleep with Kurt in the parking lot. Kurt is visibly upset, and tells him no multiple times. Blaime doesn't oblige, and Kurt ends up shouting at him, which Blaine...doesn't take well, and blames Kurt, then leaves by foot. (They end up having sex by the end of this episode btw. No, Kurt still doesn't know about the directoral instructions. Whether he does it out of love or fear that Blaine will leave him is unclear) So we already know these two are not very good at boundries and communication, but the writers say they're "soulmates" so apperantly it's okay? Anyway, this all culminates in cheating incident no.1, where Kurt meets a guy whom he shares similar interests with, and who gives him some very cheesy compliements. They exchange numbers, and text a lot. Blaine doesn't like this. He checks their texts in secret, and then sings a song in front of the entire Glee club about how he's being cheated on, to humiliate Kurt.

Kurt insists it's not cheating, giving the example that Blaine's doing the same/used ro do the same with Sebastian. Blaine says "that's different" and they leave it at that. Kurt apologises via song. S4- Kurt moves to New York. Has to work a lot, since rebt is high, and also gets an internship at vague, so he's quite busy. Blaine feels ignored, so he cheats on him with some guy we only see the facebook profile of. They break up. S5- Blaine has a crush in this other guy, Sam. (He's been trying to get Kurt back, so him moving on is a big deal). Except gay marrige gets legalized, and Blaine decides to propose to Kurt. So he gets back together with him, then bot a week later he arranges a huge public proposal where it'd honestly just be plain emberassing to say no, but dontcha worry, because Kurt accepts. They move to New York together. Blaine becomes insecure, because Kurt gets ripped thanks to his fencing lessons, meanwhile he lrts go of himself a bit, enjoying all the fine food New York has to offer. His reaction to this is to try manipulating/tricking Kurt into eating copious amounts of food too. (To be fair, Kurt's reaction to the situation isn't perfect either, but this is not about him, their actions can co-exist without one of them necessarily having to be "the right one") S6- Kurt breaks up with Blaine. Blaine ends up going back to Ohio, and dating the guy who bullied, non-consensually kissed, than threatened to kill Kurt. (The guy did have a redemption arc, but I still dunno how to feel) You might be wondering- "wow, this was so lpng and extensive", and you'd be right but also this was mostly romantic relationship centric. There's also a lot of stuff Blaine says to his friends that make me question my sanity, but this is Glee, so that's every character in basically every episode. What makes me hate Blaine isn't even JUST all this- it's the fact that in universe, he almost never gets called-out, people take his side, it's as if the writers are condoning his actions, and I Don't Like That. I'm all for liking morally grey, or even morally dispicable characters, as long as their actions don't get excused. Hell, I started out just mildly disliking Blaine, but a lot of people paint him as innocent and pure, and that didn't feel right. Then I was ready to like him BECUASE of his questionable morality- but turns out, the guy doean't have much else going on besides this. His personality is almost the same as Rachel, except Rachel's more...full? If that makes sense? Blaine is just...bland. And inconsistent, and boring, and I just Do Not Like Him At All."

Baron Van Zieks:

LOVE: - "man's 6'4", british, looks like a vampire, took a mental health break for 5 years thanks to the dead bodies that cropped up after he lost in court, and is uhhhhhh kinda racist which is a key part of his character. the explanation for it is divisive but he does grow as a character eventually?? i think he's fun. there's a bonus case exclusive to the 3DS version of the games where he mentions he was almost poisoned in one of the first cases he ever handled. he objects with his leg. he brings wine into court but rarely drinks it. he has bats in his office. we have no idea where the scar on his face came from. his voice actor did a subway commercial. i think he wants to believe he is the sane one in the courtroom but that title belongs to the 16 year old judicial assistant for the defense." - "I love to hate him tbh!!! He's a complex interesting character tied up in things outside of his control and being used by the antagonist to hurt people, isolated due to his grief and rumors from the public. He also sucks SO fucking bad and I want to punch him. Lovingly. But I love him I promise."

[qaraxuanzenith]

I've been saying this for a while, but finding this post on my dash has, I feel, given me more tools to express this thought about why Jews (especially in the US and American-dominated online spaces) are feeling increasingly alienated by their leftist friends. Why many Jews who otherwise lean left will vote right, much to the dismay and even revulsion of their leftist friends. Why many Jews end up feeling "safer" leaning right. Why it is not fair or reasonable to "blame" these Jews for exercising their democratic right of secret ballot in such a way.

I'm screenshotting the post because (a) it's long, and (b) most of its content is not actually the point here. I'm not trying to argue with the OP or with my acquaintance who reblogged it onto my dash. I just want to explain what I find troubling about it.

The post is, as I said, long. I'll be honest: I only skimmed it. I'm not American. So skimming past - scrolling past to see the rest of my dash - I saw a lot of things where my brain went "Oh, that looks bad," but, you know, in a vague sort of way. Bad, but doesn't impact me directly. Or bad, but not in a way I can do anything about it either way (especially since I can't vote in the US). Or bad-ish, but that's not an issue of deep importance to me personally. And then I saw this:

And suddenly I felt hostile to the OP, because oh look, they just lumped in supporting my homeland, where my family live, which is currently under attack and in dire need of support, as a "bad" thing. Suddenly I feel like OP hates me, or at least, considers my continued existence on their own list of "bad-ish, but that's not an issue of deep importance to me personally."

But you know what? I kept scrolling. It felt like such a mild lip-service anti-Israel line that I thought, "Maybe this person doesn't hate Jews and Israel so much." I reevaluated my initial hostile response and decided to give OP a second chance, to walk it back. It sickens me that I've gotten so used to racism against my people that some expressions of it just don't register anymore. But I kept scrolling, and it got worse.

So what I'm reading here is an excerpt from the document that sounds, to me as a Jewish person, eminently reasonable and reassuring. Couched in language and context from OP that wants to paint it as a bad thing that the writers of this document believe that Israel, the Jewish state and Jewish indigenous homeland, should be able to defend itself against... *checks notes* three terrorist organizations with genocide against Jews explicitly in their mandate, and one dictatorship country which has repeatedly expressed that it has the desire and is working on having the means to "wipe Israel off the map."

Perhaps OP has been living under a rock (or, like me, only really focuses on political updates that hit close to home) for the past 7 and a half months and is unaware of Hamas's horrific attack of October 7, 2023 against Israel, in which civilians were brutally slaughtered, young women raped, mutilated bodies paraded through the streets, and dozens abducted - many of whom are still in captivity to the terrorist organization which has not allowed any humanitarian visits to the hostages or even confirmed proof of life for those it still holds.

But when I read the above excerpted paragraph, I went from "I'm not American but I guess most of this sounds vaguely bad" to "I hope this party wins." "I hope that this specific part of this platform is implemented because it is offering support, protection, and safety for me and my family."

You - OP and people who share their views; you as non-Jews who do not share in our unique suffering - you have no right to blame us for choosing our own survival. I would expect you to prioritize yours, as well.

It is things like this - not this platform, but this post, lumping in support of Israel against three terrorist organizations and a genocidal dictatorship with all the other "bad" things like deforestation and nuclear weapons, that push Jews to the right, or at least away from this part of the left. It is reading things like this, that take it for granted that my family and I should not be protected, should not have a right to live in our home, that radicalize people like me.

You're right: most of the other things here are things I would deem as "bad," but if I embrace this platform with open arms at least I get to survive, to fight against the rest another day. Better than rejecting it in favour of someone who has otherwise wonderful ideals but wants me dead.

I want to be able to care about all the other "bad" things in that post, in that document, but right now, we are bleeding. If I had to vote on it right now, I would choose whoever penned this document or stands behind it, because I need to prioritize my safety and continued survival over any other platform issue, and if I am not for myself, who will be for me?

Not my friends on the left who decry support of Israel against genocidal terrorists as a bad thing, that's for sure.

[malice-death]

Murder Drones College/Human au Pt.3

The Cafe Setup/Strangers Meet.

Nathaniel enjoyed many things about his job at JcJenson’s (In Spaaace) Cafe.

He started working over two years ago, and hadn’t found any reason to leave.

Truth be told though, the cafe isn’t really on campus per-say, but since it was so close to Copper Nine University, located within the city of Copper 9, people just say it’s the campus’s cafe.

On the more important parts he worked hard to maintain a great record at his job, and he hoped to one day admit to his crush about his feelings.

Still he parked in the back, and got, while rain started to pour.

Having given his only umbrella to Cynthia, he just ran to the back door, since it lead to the locker room.

Once he inside he could hear the infamous arguing of J and V in the front, as he traded his jacket for his apron in his locker.

Walking to the front, he found J and V at their respective locations in the cafe, and hollering at each other.

Customers came and went, as they did orders, and while almost always Nathaniel ran the cash register with V.

Vanessa Cutters, was his long term childhood friend, who he had a crush on since forever, but has never done much about his feelings.

Humming along to the song that was playing, he turned his head towards V.

“Crazy weather today, am I right?”

V regarded him through squinted eyes, before shrugging.

“I guess, it didn’t really start until now though.”

Chuckling nervously Nathaniel rubbed the back of his head.

“Yeah you’re right. Hey do you happen to have a spare umbrella?”

V shook her head as she prepared another order.

“No, I happen to have left my spare back at my lodgings. Have you checked with J to see if you could borrow one of her several umbrellas?”

Jessica whipped her head around at the statement, stopping her assault on the older coffee machine.

“No one has earned the right to even touch my branded umbrellas, you can just suffer in the rain N!”

With a huff she returned to trying to fix the machine. It was a good thing that had two more coffee machines.

Sighing, he hadn’t wanted to get fully soaked, but at least he knew that Cynthia wouldn’t be soaked.

“Thanks anyway guys.”

The doors open to another customer, and he continued on with his work. Chatting with V, as she ranted about the unfairness of college exams.

————————————————————————

It was only when it came time for him to head to his class that he clocked out of work.

Jessica knew he would be back tomorrow like always, and with that he left to get to his class, the only problem was that his building was a hour’s walk from the cafe, but it was still pouring like crazy.

He debated taking his car, but remembered he would need to come back for his stuff from his locker anyway.

Rubbing his chin he took care of a few more orders, with V still working on cleaning up the tables.

It was only when he was wiping down the counters when a new person walked, and it almost seemed like she changed the whole atmosphere of the cafe.

Many patrons only snuck a glance, and than resumed to what they were doing.

The stranger was shorter than him, even shorter than V, but she gave off an aura of danger.

Nathaniel didn’t feel what everyone else was feeling, instead he gave his usual smile, and greeeted her.

“Hello miss, what can I get for you today?”

The woman just shrugged, that even looking at him, as she pulled out her wallet.

“Largest size of black coffee that you have.”

Nathaniel blinked at the statement, typing in the order.

“I’ll make that a large thank you, are you sure you don’t want anything with that miss?”

The woman looked at him, dark amethyst eyes peered up at him puzzlement.

“Yes, I’m quite certain with my order.”

Nathaniel nodded, as he totaled up her order.

“Alright that will be 8.24.”

The woman just pulled out a ten, and passed it to him.

“Keep the change.”

She moved out of the way for the next customer, but J took over for him as he went to make the order.

It had been a while since he made a simple black coffee, but that gave him an idea.

Once he wa done with the order he looked to see where the woman went, only to see her typing away on a laptop at one of the further back tables.

Smiling he walked over to her, and set down the coffee.

The woman muttered a thanks and went back to typing away.

It was only when he took two steps before he heard the annoyed cough of the woman behind.

Turning aroubd to see her glaring at him.

She held up the cup as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Why did you put cinnamon in my coffee?”

Nathaniel blinked before remembering what he had done, giving her a sheepish smile, scratching the back of his head.

“I had a random thought and wanted to see if it would taste good, I really hadn’t meant to put it in your coffee, but it’s what I drink sometimes when I’m studying.”

The woman frowned at the statement, taking another sip of the coffee.

Nathaniel tilted his head slightly.

“Do you like it?”

The woman shrugged, “Bite me” was all she said in response.

Nathaniel nodded, and than gestured to the window next to her.

“You wouldn’t happen to be staying for the next few hours right?”

The woman raised a single brow, but nodded.

“Yeah, just until the rain lets up, can’t really bike when it’s raining.”

Taking that as an opportunity he sat across from her.

“I’m Nathaniel by the way, but you can call me N if you need something easier to say.”

He gave her a false salute, in response though the woman just nodded, her mouth a thin line.

“I’m Uzi.”

She didn’t offer for a hand shake or anything, so he proceeded.

“I was wondering if you would allow me to use your umbrella?”

The woman, or Uzi just frowned deeper, but before Nathaniel could take back his words, she pulled out a purple umbrella with crows all over it.

She held it out to him, with a stern look.

“I’ll expect this back when the rain’s done.”

With that she placed it on his side of the table. He could sense that she was hesitant to pass the umbrella to him, but he gave her one more salute.

“I Nathaniel Sillious Wolfmoore, promise to return your umbrella the next time we meet in this cafe.”

He placed a hand over his heart to make sure that she knew how serious he was, he glanced at her to see her simply nod.

“I’ll hold you to it.” She said, a trace of a smile one her face.

He counted as a win, and rose to his feet.

“Alright, I’ll see you around Uzi.”

Uzi waved back, more confused if anything.

But with that he left, the rain still pouring endless, and it made Nathaniel glad that his and Cynthia apartment was on the second floor.

When he checked his phone for the time and saw that he was going to be close to being late he hastened his pace, making sure that the umbrella was aloft above him.

Still he’ll remember his promise.

Thank you for reading. See you in part three

[partyanimal167]

Angst Alphabet- Sir Crocodile

Seems like I can't go a week without writing this man so let's get into it lol. Prompts are from @doublebird Also! First time doing an alphabet prompt so yay. Hmu if you want more~

cw: angst (duh), in canon universe, mentions of loss/death/etc.

A- Anger (Are they easy to anger? How do they handle it?)

Crocodile keeps it together for the most part. He can handle a lot, but he likes things going according to plan so when things start really falling apart...he's cracking. After lashing out, he's going to spend some time alone to collect his thoughts and think of his next course of action.

B- Bad Habits (What bad habits do they have? Do they try to get rid of them?)

Smoking obvi. But that's a coping mechanism. He had an old habit of popping off the dome very easily but he's more collected now.

C- Cheater (Would they cheat on their partner? What would make them cheat?)

Hell no.

Even if he was getting cheated on, he'd probably just end the relationship and get that anger out in another way.

D- Death (How do they handle that topic? What are their opinions on death? Do they believe in an afterlife?)

Death is a part of a pirate's life and survival. I think Crocodile has been through a lot, and while he's not chasing his own, he probably would know when it's his time to go. A lot of acceptance. He has mixed feelings about the afterlife. For him, if it did exist, it'd probably be simple and nothing related to morals or punishment.

E- Embarrassment (What embarrasses them and how do they handle it?)

Not a lot, but if someone brings up his rowdy younger pirate days, he's going to turn into sand and escape the room without a word.

F- Fake (Are they faking something? Are they a good liar?)

He's honest but has his guard up. He never really sees a reason to lie...maybe just not reveal all his cards.

G- Guilty (Is there something they feel guilty about? How do they handle that feeling?)

He lost a few important people with his first crew and blames himself immensely. That's why he only has so few close to him and the vast majority are at a distance. He tries to accept the guilt but drowns in the consequences quietly.

H- Heartbreak (Was their heart ever broken? Has it healed? How do the handle a heartbreak?)

That early loss nearly destroyed him, and he has healed in some way...but he avoids any situation that could end in heartbreak. If he really had to handle it, he's disappearing for a while and clinging onto a new ambition once he's back.

I- Ignorant (What is something they won't change their mind on?)

Crocodile believes he's supposed to have and yield power. The 'how' has changed after being imprisoned, but even then, he's chasing a new way and that is his personal destiny.

J- Jealousy (Are they easily jealous? What makes them jealous? What will they do about it?)

Crocodile is a secure man, so he's not quick to that feeling. But it can creep around if his partner or whoever seems to be intrigued by whatever is grabbing their attention. He has almost everything, but still, people will do what they want. He will try to keep the feeling to himself for awhile.

K- Killing (Did they ever had to kill someone? How do they feel about killing someone?)

He has a few times and will do it again if needed. He's not senseless about it, but he will not let the action stop him from progress of his goals.

L- Lost (Did they ever lose someone/something important to them? How do they handle loss?)

See G and H. Crocodile has his guard up in a way that only so few things can cause him that pain similar to those first few years of pirating. He only lends his care to a few things and that will not change.

M- Monster (Do they sometimes feel like a monster?)

Crocodile doesn't believe he's a good person, but since his actions are mostly justified to him, he doesn't think he's a monster. Just a man willing to go farther than most.

N- Nightmares (Are they suffering from bad dreams? What do they do about it? What kind of bad dreams?)

They aren't as frequent as they were in his youth. His nightmares are usually from his childhood and what lead him to pirating in the first place. If he wakes up from a nightmare, he'll get up, light a cigar, and listen to some music that let's him be present and away from those harsh memories.

O- Outcast (Do they feel alone? Were they ever abandoned? Did they ever abandon someone?)

Yes to all. Crocodile doesn't always feel alone, but he's come to know that the feeling comes and goes. He sits in it when it does. He has been written off and that sometime fuels his want for power. He will abandon pawns or those that try to use him.

P- Panic (Are they scared of something? How do they handle a panic attack?)

Crocodile's only fear is dying without leaving any sort of impact. He knows he has--good and bad, but the thought that he hasn't can send him spiraling. He wants to self-destruct, but he fights the urge and breaks things around him instead.

Q- Quiet (Something they don't talk about)

His childhood. If you weren't there, then you don't need to know.

R- Regret (Is there something they regret? Why do they feel that way?)

He asks himself if he should have done something different with his life, but he's unsure. His life has had ups and downs so he ponders regret, but he doesn't want to think too much and get caught up in 'what-ifs'

S- Soulmate (What would make them break up? How do they handle it?)

Crocodile doesn't believe in that, but if he had a devote partner who he gave his all to, then only death could separate them. They could leave, but Crocodile will find a way for them to come back where they belong. Even during that time away, Crocodile will be waiting patiently for their return and reminisce about the happy times.

T- Tears (What makes them cry? Are they okay with showing their tears?)

True loss will make him cry, but no one has seen it.

U- Unattractive (What do they hate about themselves? Do they have insecurities?)

He was insecure after losing his hand, but he accepts it. It doesn't bother him too much, but he sees it as a flaw.

V- Venom (Were they ever betrayed? Did they ever betray someone?)

Yes and yes. He doesn't handle either side well though

W- Weak (What makes them feel weak?)

Guilt and heartbreak are not easy for him. Any emotions that don't bolden his image he does not like to deal with.

X- Xray (Are they mentally and physically healthy?)

Crocodile has aches from years of battles and adventuring, but that is mainly it. The phantom pains stopped years ago. However, he does struggle with depression quietly.

Y- Yearning (What do they miss? Is there something/someone they can't have?)

Crocodile misses the ignorant, overly-confident pirate days before anything went south. He wants to have some quiet form of peace after achieving his goals, but he's not sure when/if he will ever stop striving for something.

Z- Zero (What would they do if they would lose everything?)

It's happened before. He will start over again.

~~~

Ooof, I guess I need to dabble in some angst. I loved this prompt list. Thanks for reading!

[rin-and-jade]

Hi there. I've been questioning if I'm a system for months now and I feel like the information I find is so unhelpful sometimes, because it's all focused specifically on alters and if it's not about alters it's all syscourse nonsense, but the problem I have is that I have basically no communication...

A lot of the symptoms I'm experiencing are dissociation and memory related, and it all just makes me doubt my experiences a lot x(

Doesn't help that my psychiatrist keeps brushing off all my experiences as Anxiety and Psychosis/Schizophrenia???

I really just need some reassurance that I'm Not crazy.

So, do y'all know any good information resources that focus on things Outside of alters?? Or at the least cover all aspects and don't exclusively focus on alters? Anything to do with improving communication would also be appreciated.

Maybe the communication isn't great because I'm still living in an unsafe household? I really don't know, it's been getting worse for a while now, I've been noticing a lot of times where I find belongings, things I said, or anything like that and Having no memory of doing or saying any of it. And it's been giving red flags to me.

Sorry for the long winded ask, much love, thank you in advance. // 💜🌹

My blog is not syscourse aligned, rather, it is education and awareness aligned. Im sorry that you couldn't find your answers, that must be frustrating,, though im here with what you're searching for!

Alters are a byproduct of our dissociative barriers, i previously had made an awareness post to remind them that DID, is not only an alter problem too.

I find a lot of psychologists or psychiatrists horrible and condescending, where many of my friends who got into therapy also got treated negatively too. In my country, neither of the psychologists im friends with even know of DID, thus affirming that there's still a long way to spread education regarding about CDD. Which i have been doing for 3 years, for the community to learn and progress.

So basically, i don't think you're crazy for having people who would dismissing your symptoms, or have memory and dissociation related issues for now.

Please check my blog, there are many types of information outside of alters! You might find some posts helpful.

--

Q: "Maybe the communication isn't great because I'm still living in an unsafe household?"

A: That's correct, our brain has a very complex code, a predictive machine, to crank up or shut down processes (such as mind wandering). If the place is unsafe, your brain prioritizes survival and making it out of there first and foremost, creativity and problem solving might suffer due to the main focus of surviving.

It's like how stress creates difference in blood flow to prioritize the lungs, heart, and other important organs but not to your digestion track. Who says that cannot happen inside the brain either?

Q: "Anything to do with improving communication would also be appreciated."

A: There are many ways, but sense of safety comes first, its like when you are dysregulated and is trying to heal,, your brain keeps out putting the wrong prediction and answers because it is still thinking and seeing in grey-tinted glasses. Regulation comes first, or safety comes first,, these two always create a feedback loop that will help your brain think more clear and less tint-affected!

To end this ask, i will link my posts regarding to: - Front Stuck - Inner Communication

My DMs are open for further 1-on-1 help.

- j

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

If youre ok w sharing then i would love to hear your thoughts on lotor........ Hes such a weird guy. Dissecting him like a frog

If i get hate for this, i am blaming you/j but in all honesty i apologize if this kinda messy, as i have said it has beem awhile since i saw any of the episodes about him. Most of it is my personal interpretation and opinions of his character-

First of all i personally hate both "L0tor is evil rapist imperialist who did not have a single redeemable quality" and "L0tor is uwu poor baby who did nothing wrong", because yeah he had good intentions and he seemed to genuinely love Alura and care for Alteans but also he very much did do a lot of things Wrong. I am pretty sure a lot of his actions fall into category of Very Wrong

Lot0r to me is an absolute control freak, he has to be 10 steps ahead of everyone, he needs to be control of the situation no matter what. Whether it be through a silver tongue or by his blade (see N@rti's death, him vs White Lion). This is as much as a ruthless strategy as it is a trauma response. Being raised under Z@rkon, a father who only saw him as inferior half-bred, he had to learn survivor tactics. He will do anything to survive whether it be beg, lie, manipulate, and kill. He is a survivor of some genuinely godawful abuse he suffered for 10,000 years, combined with racism he suffered for being half altean

However this need to be in control extends to his allies and people he cares about. I am sure Lotor may have loved Alura, it doesnt change the fact that he very much abused her trust. Their entire relationship was based on a lie. He knew Alteans were still alive and not only did he not tell Alura about it he leaned into the "last survivors of Altea" for their relationship, which is why it was doomed since the beginning. And if it had not been this, then it would have been something else. Cause lying and manipulation are very much core of his character, that is how we are introduced to him

Like i see people going "Oh Lot0r could have been good if he had therapy and a hug", and i am not really not sure about it, cause like would he? Would he choose to be vulnerable and actually let his feelings out and be truthful in a an unbiased reliable way that will neither serve him in any way nor make him look better nor is a part of some machivilian scheme he cooked up because he doesnt trust the therapist he is paying? No

And thing is he does desire connection. He looks for connection in people who are similar to him. Half galran, altean survivors, Alura these are the people who he chose to get close to. He looks for similarities, people he can relate to, people who he sees as like him, people who he thinks can give him a sense of belonging. He is deeply lonely. However his desperation for control, absolute mistrust in anyone and everyone, and his inability to be actually honest dooms any relationship he'll ever have

Also this is probably just me, but for someone who is this morally complex character he has tendency to see things in black and white? Like it is His dad and empire= bad, alteans=good. He idolizes Altea to the point of seeing it as an Utopia, and this ideal was more important to him than any Alteans who are alive and with him. I also cant remember him ever caring about someone outside of the Dichotomy. Like at most i remember is after he became the emperor Lance pointing out how other planets need to be freed and he just brushed it off

Overall he gives me the "smart people dont always make good decisions, but they are good at justifying their bad ones" vibes. We dont know exactly why he decided to use alteans as batteries but i am choosing to go with my interpretation- "Lottor saw something fucked up in that future showing space whale thingy, decided the only way to solve was altean batteries except in true self fulfilling prophecy greek tragedy way it only made things worse and started a series of event that will cause the thing he saw causing real trouble a few years after his death.

Another thing! I think it should have been him being the focus of Evil Altean episode instead of A//ura. I hate that episode and everything it stands for but like if there Had to be an evil alteans episode then it should be around someone who is you know? Obsessed with Altean culture? Is big on control and manipulation? Is more geared towards big picture and "greater good" over individual? Is worried about turning into just like his galran father and so desperately wants to connect to his idealized version of his altean mother? Yeah

[dairy-farmer]

Junior didn't remember anything

It was exhausting to think about why he went up on the roof of a building and opened his arms on both sides, trying to feel the wind touching the wounds that were gifted to help him smile, located on the sides of his mouth, or where the blood covering his torn rags clothes came from

Considering that Tim gave their body to him so little, something important must have happened. A scary situation that will prevent him from feeling safe

But it didn't matter. Junior just wanted to have fun, put a smile on everyone's face in this city and make his uncle J proud

(No, he didn't want to, but he had to. Otherwise he would have suffered. His body would be parched due to electricity, his aunt would pull up the sweat-soaked strands of hair that reached up to his eyes and ask why he was such a bad boy)

Junior was a good kid. Therefore, in the absence of his father, he had to do things that would make his adopted uncle and aunt happy and forget the past

He should have ignore Tim's existence

Maybe he should have thrown himself off the end of this building. It would be a funny joke

(He wanted to die. He wanted to be free, not to lead a prison life inside his mind anymore

He dreamed of flying. He had to float in the sky, he had been trained for this. They should have had a chance to smile without suffering, or when someone looked at them, they should not cry because of their pain)

'Junior, I wonder if it's possible for you to come towards me a little? I don't want you to fall by a mistake'

Mistake? No, Junior won't make a mistake because he already wanted to fall. That would be a really funny joke, why wouldn't anyone understand?

He turned around and looked at the person who called to him

Blue...

It wasn't like the green one his uncle was wearing

(The acidic color wasn't burning his eyes. It wasn't a nightmare whose laughter didn't go through their ears)

It didn't look like her aunt's red either

(The blood flowing from the wounds on his body did not stain the floor. The color on the clothes did not hide the liquid and create a happy family picture)

No, it was more reminiscent of his(their) father's black

(Small smiles accompanied by the smell of hot food rising from the kitchen, calloused hands that ruffle his hair when Dad is proud)

Home...

Security...

Family...

'Mommy?'

The man in blue's lips moved slightly. It was as if he could barely contain himself not to cry

Junior became agitated for a moment. Did he say something wrong? They wouldn't have tied him to the chair again and watched him suffer, would they?

He started scratching his hair. Green... No, no, it's wrong, the strands of his hair were black

Junior? Tim? Who is he?

Tears began to flow from his eyes, at the same time he was laughing

It was all too much...

A body much larger than himself took his skinny body between his arms, wrapped it tightly, as if he wanted to hide him from everything and everyone

'I'm sorry baby, for a moment I forgot that you're not mad at me right now'

Why Junior should have been angry with mother?

(You betrayed me... You left me believing that you would always be there for me... Why did you let me go, Dick? It's all your fault... I'm in this state because of you, because of you, everything the Joker did has come to light again...And now you are here, are you trying to tell me that you care about me? Don't lie to me...)

'Mommy's really sorry, baby. You were always right and I didn't listen to you. But please, don't run away from me. I can not live without you. I can't handle finding your dismembered body in the middle of any street. It's not as funny as you think right now, honey'

To whom was her mother begging? Tim or Junior?

It didn't matter. That's actually what most people forget. They are two different ones, both made of the same fabric...

You couldn't love one and ignore the other

And Junior, looking at his mother's shining blue eyes under the mask, could see that he knew this truth

Even though Tim was still making angry grunts in the back of his mind, he also knew that

Their mommy was ready to do anything for them

So he started to relax

In those minutes when he buried his head on his mother's chest, playing with his fingers with the rhythm of the rapidly beating heart, he did not hear the blackness laid on the roof of the building or the whispered discussions. Because he knows he is safe...

'Nightwing, Dick, please... We need to help him, we need to get Tim back. The later we stay like this, the more likely it will become permanent'

'Bruce, they need me. They both need their mother no matter what they say, no matter how much they try to keep me away

Let me help them. What you're trying to do is just hurting them, no, no, I won't allow it, you have to kill me to take my babies from my arms...'

joker junior and tim is always so tragic 🥺🥺🥺 and then dick, the way he reacts to tim calling him mommy because he brain is so scrambled and he can't make sense of anything or who he is. the way tim thinks to throwing himself off the roof and the way that he seeks comfort from dick who is clearly so hurt from everything that's happened and how dick has desperately grown attatched🥺🥺🥺

[amazing-spider-man-book-club]

Amazing Spider-Man #1 (1963)

Published: March 1963

Containing: "Spider-Man: Freak! Public Menace!", "The Chameleon!"

Introducing: J. Jonah Jameson, John Jameson, The Chameleon (unnamed)

Synopsis: following the death of his uncle, Peter now has to leverage his identity as Spider-Man to find cash quick as a means of taking care of himself and his Aunt May. Various attempts to do so are stopped by his need to maintain a secret identity, his slandering by media mogul J. Jonah Jameson, and indifference by the public at large.

Read alongside us here:

@frankendykes-monster : After the better part of a year, material originally intended for Amazing Fantasy can now be taken off the shelf and published in The Amazing Spider-Man. For as much as these are two separate stories, our first one is divided into three parts and they chain together incredibly well with the new through-line of Peter desperately needing to make money.

Peter's origins are oh so quickly recapped in less than a page and transition immediately to the new status quo he finds himself in, at least for this single issue. Lee's narration on the title page is right, there hasn't been a character like Spider-Man yet, he can't even begin to worry about altruism or emotionally come to terms with his actual ongoing motivations (which will not come to a head for quite some time, keep following this blog!) because he needs to help cover the rent first. I think a lot of subsequent Spider-Man media neglect this lowest point of Peter's life now that I think about it; I'm not sure why, it makes for great material even if it isn't a "fun" read to see Spider-Man suffer. We get to see some nice stuff like Peter making a parachute out of his webbing, which at certain points in this run might feel more like a Green Lantern ring in terms of objects that said web fluid can be molded into. Spider-sense is also used several times, which is a power I've never been hugely into if only because it's convenient for writers to forget Peter has said ability whenever he needs to be punched in the face by someone right in front of him. Said ability was created by Ditko on the spot when asked by Lee how Spider-Man could see and fight people in the dark (just draw squiggly lines above his head and call it a day.)

I actually had no recollection of why Peter can't go back to show business as Spider-Man beyond the ingenious "you can't cash a check signed to Spider-Man" bit, but it's because of the debut of one J. Jonah Jameson. I mentioned in the post for Amazing Fantasy #15 that many of the plethora of characters "introduced" there would only become retroactively important after Ditko left the title...welp...can't say that here. Jameson will become arguably the second most important and frequently appearing character after Peter and immediately hits the ground running.

I think it's a popular interpretation of the character now to say that his thoughts on the subject of Spider-Man are misguided when he, a character inside the story, does not have the benefit of knowledge the we the readers do. It's fair game to say something is off about Spider-Man, this completely anonymous individual that can climb walls and swing across buildings and has already gotten into the habit of being a vigilante. Peter's relationship with Jameson isn't at all developed here, they don't even meet, but that will change soon enough.

Spider-Man exists in the same fictional space as other characters published by Marvel, huh, that was fast. I actually had to double check and see if this was published the same month as Fantastic Four #12, which guest stars The Hulk. It was. Truly the Marvel Age of Comics is upon us (I feel like I've already said this). My general thoughts going forward are...meh? Ditko is going to introduce enough characters and concepts that The Amazing Spider-Man isn't really hurting to team up with or fight other superheroes, but if they're here to stay for the time being, one of his get rich quick schemes being that he wants to join The Fantastic Four isn't a bad one.

And our first proper supervillain of the run, The Chameleon! The Chameleon isn't one of the "heavy hitters" amongst this rogues gallery, more a perpetual b-lister, but he mostly gets by on his excellent design; a blank canvas face that he can easily slide life-like masks over. Though, this is a concept that Ditko had already visited in Out of This World #6 (1957):

That would be the end of things for this issue, a nice transitional piece in the fallout of Spider-Man's origin, but some cracks behind the scenes are already starting to show. Even though the character is officially titled Spider-Man, with the hyphen, the text within the issue can't seem to recall if it's spelled that way or not. The second story has Peter referred to as "Peter Palmer" several times, though this isn't a blunder that would be repeated across several issues (see: Bruce Banner being referred to as Bob Banner). Ditko, upon being given the plot for this issue, reportedly hated the sequence wherein Spider-Man jacks a plane to save John Jameson in a plummeting space craft, comparing it to the likes of a high school football player joining the Super Bowl.

Where the plot that Lee provided Ditko came from is unknown, people looking into the subject like Stan Taylor and Stephen Bissette have come to the conclusion that they actually were provided by Jack Kirby to Lee to pass on to whomever ended up taking over Spider-Man, but the evidence isn't conclusive so I'll not state that that was the case. Ditko wasn't the type to be into flights to space, or making Communist villains like The Chameleon's motivations here, is what I will say. Ditko is clearly already developing very clear ideas on who Spider-Man is and where to take him, and any influence Kirby had on the conception of the character will quickly be shed. This will not be the last time we here of Ditko rejecting or altering ideas presented to him by Lee however.

@duel1971 : So very excited that we can start talking about J Jonah Jameson. In this story we see only one side of the man: a loudmouthed, ungrateful bully. He’s a perfect antagonist for Peter at this point in his story. Peter and his aunt are broke and desperate. Jameson is financially secure and has a platform that allows him to totally destroy Spider-Man’s reputation practically overnight. The fact that Jonah doesn’t actually know he’s targeting a struggling high school student at the moment is his only real defense.

The parallels between the Jameson and Parker families are something I’ll be writing more about as we go. John Jameson is successful and beloved where Spider-Man is shunned and hated, and Jonah has all the power in the world while Aunt May has almost none. Their similarity is in their loyalty to each other: part of Jonah’s hatred of Spider-Man in this issue seems to be fueled by thinking Peter was out to steal John’s glory in some way or another. (I say “seems to be” because it’s hard to take anything he says at face value.)

Second story: This one is really interesting to me because of how ambiguous Peter’s character arc is in it. He continually tries to do the right thing: first trying to impress the Fantastic Four in a desperate bid for a steady paycheck, and then aiding the cops in stopping the Chameleon. Both times, he is rejected and he remains an outlaw at story’s end. The last page features the Fantastic Four reflecting that someone as powerful as Spider-Man may well be a threat someday.

Of course, we know Peter didn’t turn to evil. But things aren’t going well! In spite of being powerful enough to take on the entire Fantastic Four by himself, he’s just a kid who’s worried about his aunt and doesn’t know why everyone hates him so much. It’s all too easy to imagine the path his life might’ve taken.

[yugioh-rare-pair-poll]

Round 1: Poll 9

Propaganda under the cut

Pairing 1: Twistedshipping (Shadi/Maximillon Pegasus | Pegasus J. Crawford)

Propaganda: Shadi is a grief stricken spirit with no one to talk to and Pegasus is a lonely rich boy with time & money but no one to share it with. They've both suffered heavy loss and mad terrible decisions as a result. They've hurt people and are both people who are hurting. But they wear it differently; no one can see Shadi unless he allows it but Pegasus is a public figure. He must be seen, though no one can get close without his permission. The roles they play are so important to the people who the roles serve and yet they're always at a distance from the comfort of the people. All that to say, they should get to hug and be happy. Also the fan art is just beautiful. | Pegasus lamented how his heart was like the empty canvas he toted around half the world longing to fill, then immediately painted a portrait of Shadi and hung it up next to the portrait of his deceased wife. Pegasus clearly idolized Shadi for giving him the Millennium Eye, even though Shadi showed little regard for him, probably thinking of Pegasus as just another necessary step in moving fate along. I think it’s immensely interesting to explore how they both might grow around each other, and how they might recontextualize their shared past after spending more time together. Pegasus would start to see Shadi with something other than blinding adoration, and Shadi would recognize and appreciate Pegasus as a person and not a pawn. The ship has plenty of angst, but room for hurt/comfort and character exploration. And they both at some point, in Yugioh R and Dark Side of Dimensions, adopted a bunch of orphans and took on the role of a father figure; so there’s more fluffy AU potential, too.

Pairing 2: Conquestshipping (Mai Valentine| Mai Kaijiu/Valon )

Propaganda: Valon really seemed to care for Mai, at least according to child me that just never saw the spark of Polar shipping but immediately latched on to Conquest shipping after seeing Valon and Mai interact. Plus they have shared trauma; huzzah for trauma bonding! I just think Mai had more chemistry with Valon than with Joey. | I love that this ship is doomed and bad from the start. He’s the rebound and they both know it, and they’re stuck trying to move past that and never quite managing it. And at the same time Valon is totally devoted to Mai in a way that’s both sweet and pointless. Strong tragedy, strong sad ship.

Now, let’s keep things civil. This is a silly poll where we can share why we love our overlooked ships. There’s no need to be nasty to prove your point. Bashers will be banished to the Shadow Realm.

[zerodderty]

Undertale Yellow feels like, and I don’t say this lightly, the Advent Children of UT/DR

Looks really cool, *is* really cool in a lot of the ways that count, even hits home sometimes… but also nobody who touched the production ever really “got” the original, so it’s just kinda hollow

That’s not always a bad thing, fanlike reverence leads to new ideas being created usually when people try to replicate the things they like about a work while cutting back on the less important bits. But when you tie it to this worship of the original text you get all these… janky halfhearted copies.

Like, oh, we gotta kinda have a Papyrus. Here’s your robot section. Didn’t you like Undertale’s Neutral Route? There’s some quieter comparison points where you can feel the thought that went into making UTY a fun reflection of the original. But also sometimes things feel needless, like they’re there to fill a quota.

The pacing gets this the worst- the actual main cast is introduced two thirds of the way through the story, so most of the early areas are JUST old Undertale zones without the humor or charm. Pacifist in particular suffers because of how much importance it puts on characters and scenarios that a first time player will have No time to care about.

The themes here are…. Incoherent. Copying Undertale’s structure so hard means that unintentionally a lot of the same Determination, Empathy, Content Consumption stuff gets reiterated, while the new stuff about Justice and Consequences feels like its totally shoved to the ends of each route where characters will start talking as if walking around doing random encounters and occasionally stumbling into bits with characters who immediately fall in love with you and proceed to do three bits before leaving means we’ve had some Deep Meaningful Arc together that is climaxing only now.

Which is to say at some point in every route characters will start ranting about Justice and Heroism in a way that just feels really goofy since it always comes out of nowhere. I can see the narrative bones of a fun western romp, but its buried under all this Undertale flavored fluff that makes the early game feel charming but hollow, the midgame feel abrupt and slow, and the endgame feel interesting but wayyyy too fast and undercooked for whats come before it.

And then there’s the Cool parts. The character design is just fifteen levels of weird, everyone is the same sort of lanky furry creature with these big mysterious angsty backstories that mainly serve to funnel people towards the two big endgame superbosses of Pacifist and Genocide. And they certainly are big, taking the form of long, multiphase endeavors with more than a few totally unbalanced attacks that go more for flash and overwhelming density than anything else.

And hey, I can’t say the flash doesn’t work…? I think with Deltarune as a comparison now, the weird reality breaking freaks of Jevil and Spamton feel a lot more interesting of a Sans followup but sure yeah, I can’t say that these anime powerups don’t look sick even if they feel a little disconnected from everything. But it feels like they exist at the expense of everything else as these all encompassing fixation points.

And hell, UTY is probably the *most* restrained Undertale fangame here, because you can tell in the base encounter design that clearly the developers liked the idea that Undertale was a game with encounters in it, even if the bits aren’t always as funny or charming they’re at least there and well executed. I like the random monsters! They’re probably my favorite thing here because they don’t feel exaggerated or cast aside to better focus in on the Cool Stuff

I dunno, I feel weirdly conflicted that a game so technically competent at emulating Undertale and so clearly passionate in its aims feels so uneven and clumsy. I’m glad it exists, I’m glad I played it, I just wish it was more… good. Maybe it’s in part that I got into Undertale from its influences (Homestuck and weird quirked up JRPGs) that it feels so weird to have those influences diminished to better do the Cool Stuff, but I feel if UTY wanted to just do the Cool Stuff it would have been better served not being so tied down to living up to the already lofty task of Undertale 2 without feeling like a direct to dvd and home video sequel.