#is garfield his first name or last name

[nyatimesthree]

daaamn!!!!! this cat !!!!!!!

[masquenoire]

Roman didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, at least not inside his social circle. He was too rough, too vulgar for the other socialites to warm to even with his parent’s ‘education’ on how to behave around their sort. He did, however, get along with a few, most notably @babydxhl and @sanguine-salvation, whose company Roman liked enough. @brutalscaled​ was the very first friend he made without his parent’s knowledge, early one spring while holidaying at their country estate. Roman had taken a liking to the scaled boy, preferring his company over the hateful rich kids his parents forced him to befriend. During his teens, Roman would go on to make more friends. One of these new friends was a boy named Garfield Lynns. Angry delinquents at heart, the two got along like a house on fire, committing petty crimes and even acts of arson together. After Roman was caught sleeping with Circe (and summarily disowned), he knew exactly who to turn to and together they burned down the Sionis Estate, their first crime that result in people’s deaths.

[theinternetisfulloftrash]

Who would you like to see Dylan work with? I want Andrew Garfield.

Hmmm...

This is a great question! I think he and Andrew Garfield could be incredible! I'd really love to see him work with Jimmy Tatro. Imagine Dylan in something like American Vandal.... I fucking can't. He's so funny, and I'd really love to see him flex that muscle some more. I think those two would be a riot.

[akascow]

im so used to hearing 'rhett and link' as like, a whole phrase

i just said 'rhett' by itself, it sounds so weird

like

rhett

his names rhett

huh

[harrysfolklore]

jacob elordi and yn take a lie detector test | vanity fair

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON | jacob insta blurb

"YN," the interviewer said, you and Jacob were sitting side by side with expectation shown in your faces, "Jacob."

"Hello," you said in unison, which made you look at each other and laugh.

"We're going to be taking a lie detector test today," the interviewer explained, "One of you will he hooked up to the machine while the other asks questions, and then you'll switch."

"Why are my palms sweating?" you said, making Jacob laugh and kiss the side of your head quickly.

"Who would you like to go first?" the interviewer asked again.

Jacob and you looked at each other for a few seconds before he winked at you and told the interviewer he would go first.

The video showed someone from the crew getting the machine ready and getting Jacob hooked to it.

"Do I look afraid?" Jacob asked, making you relax and laugh.

"You look fine, babe," you looked at the guy who was in charge of the machine, who give you the cue that you could start asking questions, "Okay, is your real name Jacob Elordi?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Were you born in Melborune, Australia?"

"No, I was born in Brisbane."

"Are you ready to take this lie detector test?" you asked, a smile playing on your face.

"I think so," he looked at you with a nervous smile and then looked at the camera.

"Okay, let's get started."

JACOB ELORDI TELLS THE TRUTH

"So, you were born in Australia. Do you like LA better?" you asked, reading the folder in front of you.

"Right now, yeah," Jacob answered, a small screen on the top left showing the lie detector machine working.

"Would you say you've adopted the LA lifestyle since moving here?"

"Yes,"

"Do you like going to yoga classes with me?" you raised your eyebrow, noticing a smile appearing on Jacob's face

"Absolutely." he answered confidently and you directed your raised eyebrow to the man behind the machine.

"He's telling the truth," the man said

"Were you doubting me?" Jacob said, an offended tone in his voice.

"Just confirming," you looked at the folder once again,"Do you consider yourself a heartthrob?"

"Yeah," he answered, but the look on his face said otherwise.

"A lie," the man said.

"I don't consider myself a heartthrob," he began, "but I mean I guess I kinda have to accept it."

"Yep, there you go," you said and a cheeky smile played on your face as you read the following question, "Have you ever felt jealous of any of my co stars?"

The room got quiet after the question, Jacob threw his head back and closed his eyes for a moment, and you couldn't help but laugh.

"Just answer the question!" you said and he shook his head.

"I wouldn't say that I'm a jealous person, specially not of your co stars because I'm an actor myself and I know how it works," he began, "I'm just protective, okay?"

"No reading, that was too close," the man behind the machine spoke, "It was a gray area, we could ask it again or we could just move on."

"Let's move on, he doesn't want to admit that he was jealous of Andrew Garfield on camera," you joked and Jacob couldn't help but laugh along, "Did you feel nervous during our first date?"

"Yes," his eyes widened at the memory, "I was about to piss my pants, actually."

"Truth,"

"Oh I already knew that," you shrugged with a cocky smile, "If I asked you to move to New York with me, would you do it?"

"Yeah, definitely," he smiled, "New York is the shit."

"Alright, babe, let's keep this interesting," you said with a grin. The lie detector machine still monitoring his responses, "Have you ever borrowed my clothes without asking?"

"Of course, guilty as charged," Jacob chuckled, "Your oversized sweaters are just too comfy to resist, love, and don't get me started on your purses,"

"This shouldn't have been a question, everyone knows the purses you use to go out are mine," you rolled your eyes with affection,"Okay last one from me,"

"Bring it,"

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

You looked at Jacob curiously, and he took a moment before replying.

"Yeah, I do," he answered smoothly, "I mean when I met you, there was this instant connection, and I just knew there was something special about you."

"He's telling the truth," the lie detector confirmed, and you couldn't help but smile.

"Smooth answer, Elordi. Looks like we're on the same page about love at first sight," he smiled back at you, "Lord that was so cheesy, It's my turn! But, did at any point of this interview did you lie and we didn't catch you?"

"I mean, I don't know if you caught me," Jacob rested his chin on his hand.

"Did he lie?" you asked the man, both you and Jacob turning to look at him.

"He's not lying," He confirmed and Jacob gave you a smug smile

"I guess you passed the test."

YN TELLS THE TRUTH

You took your place in the hot seat while Jacob prepared to play the role of the interrogator, nerves kicking in as the crew hooked you up to the machine.

"Okay, YN," Jacob said, a smirk showing on his face, "Let's get started, shall we?"

You nodded and he sent you a wink.

"Is your favorite movie still 'The Notebook'?"

"Absolutely," you answered immediately and the machine confirmed your answer.

"Classic," he muttered, "Have you ever faked a compliment about my cooking?"

"Maybe once or twice, but it's only because I didn't want to hurt your feelings," you bit your lip, and Jacob gave you a surprised expression

"So, I've been living a lie?" he raised his eyebrow at you.

"No, no," you reassured him, "Your cooking skills have definitely improved over time."

"Truth," the man in charge of the lie detector said, and Jacob nodded in approval.

"Fair enough. Now, have you ever pretended to like a movie just because I wanted to watch it?"

"Guilty again," you covered your face in embarrassment,"But in my defense, no one wants to watch the Star Wars movies after a long day of filming."

"My feelings are definitely hurt," Jacob said and dramatically put a hand on his chest, "This test is making you look like a bad girlfriend, actually,"

"Come on now, give me more questions,"

"Alright, let's dig a little deeper," Jacob said with a smirk, "Have you ever considered stealing my phone to read my text messages?"

"Maybe once or twice," you said, "But only out of curiosity, not suspicion."

"Well, you know I'm wrapped around your finger so I would let you go through it anytime," he shrugged, "Do you think my Australian accent is sexier than your American one?"

"Oh, come on! That's not a fair question," you couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"Just answer the question, love," Jacob teased.

"Fine, fine," you said, still laughing, "Yes, your Australian accent is undeniably sexy."

"Truth," the machine confirmed, and Jacob playfully raised an eyebrow looking satisfied.

"Do you regret any of the roles you've played?" he asked, and you took a deep breath before answering.

"No, all of the roles I've played have been very meaningful to me," you replied, and the man operating the machine machine looked at you with a raised eyebrow."

"She's lying," he simply said, and you shut your eyes hearing Jacob laugh.

"I guess you have some explaining to do," he chuckled, shooting a playful glare at you, "Come on, spill it."

"Okay, fine," you admitted, "There was this one project early in my career that I took for the paycheck, and looking back, I wish I had chosen something more aligned with my values. It's not a regret per se, but more of a lesson learned."

"Fair enough," Jacob nodded, moving to the next question, "Have you ever stalked fan accounts dedicated to me?"

"Maybe a casual scroll here and there," you admitted, trying to seem cool about it.

"Casual scroll, huh?" Jacob raised an eyebrow and peeked at the lie detector, "The machine doesn't seem convinced, right?" he asked the man.

"It's a lie," he confirmed ad Jacob burst into laughter.

"Caught red-handed, love. What's next? Have you ever used my toothbrush without telling me?" he teased, making you laugh

"No way! That's just gross," you protested

"You hesitated there. Are you sure?" Jacob raised an eyebrow again

The machine signaled the truth, and you sighed in relief.

"I was just grossed out by the thought. I promise I've never done that."

"It's not like we haven't kissed before," he teased and you rolled your eyes but smiled, "Okay last question.

"Hit me with it," you said, ready for whatever it would be.

"Have you ever thought about what our future holds? Like, where we'll be in 10 years?" he asked, his expression turning serious.

You took a moment to contemplate the question.

"Yes," you answered sincerely, "I think about it quite often. I imagine us still together, maybe with a family, still acting and pursuing our passions and of course supporting each other."

"Truth," the lie detector machine confirmed your words, and Jacob's serious expression softened into a warm smile.

"Well, looks like we're on the same page there once again," he said, "Did you lie at any time and we didn't catch you?"

"Nope, I was an open book, babe," you replied, sending a wink his way.

"Did she lie?" Jacob turned to the man behind the machine,

The man hesitated for a moment, building suspense, before finally saying, "She's telling the truth."

"Told you!"

The video ended with both of you laughing at each other, and it became one of Vanity Fair's most watched Lie Detector tests.

[steviewashere]

Mmm...thinking about a 5+1 fic of sorts.

Different times that Steve has sat in the driver's seat of his car, pulled down the visor to block the sunlight, and immediately getting smacked in the face by a paper note.

A note from Eddie.

They start out kind of stupid and silly. The first one literally just has a crude drawing of a dick on it with writing: Penis and a tongue-out smiley face. Steve just snorts at it and slips it in his wallet because it's funny and he'll probably look at it later and ask Eddie about it. But not because he wants it to stop. But because it honestly made his day start out a little bit better.

So the notes stick around.

One of them is a silly drawing of Steve as a knight, stick figure with a wood sword. Maybe one is just a simple sketch of a random bird that Eddie saw that morning. There's even one of Garfield with a joint in his mouth—which makes Steve cackle, he even suggests that Eddie gets it tattooed as a joke (to which he takes seriously and actually does.)

But the last one he gets is a super sappy note. Just lines and lines and lines of Eddie hoping that Steve has a good day, that he keeps smiling because that's one of Eddie's favorite features of Steve's. There's little doodled hearts all over the margins. Steve's name is written in the best cursive he thinks he's ever seen. It's practically a love letter.

And, yeah, Steve knew all along that he was tiptoeing a treacherous line between friendship and something more, but this note/letter is a great little first step towards that more he wants.

Though. When he brings it up to Eddie. Eddie gets red faced and realizes, "Oh, shit. That's the wrong paper. Oops." And he reveals the actual note he meant to leave was of some small goblin creature wearing a stupid Family Video vest.

The love letter-note was the one he ended up grabbing and sticking in Steve's car the night before, when he was tipsy and tired and getting a ride home.

So...more of a five silly notes and one sappy one? Not sure, though.

Oh! And Steve keeps all the notes in his wallet :). So that later, when they've confessed to each other and whatnot, Steve can show his eclectic collection of Eddie's notes. And he can just gush over how stupid and adorable and funny they are. It's a not so subtle ask that he gets more notes from Eddie, even the sappy ones. <3

[steventhusiast]

modern au where eddie and robin are roommates and steve is italian <3

-

eddie has always known that his roommate robin is in the US for college, but grew up in and is from italy. sure, sometimes he forgets, because she somehow has a near-perfect american accent and also speaks two other languages, but he’s always known.

and for the past year and a bit, he’s known how much robin wants her best friend stevie to come visit. she talks about them all the time, and ever since she and eddie moved out of the dorms and into an apartment together for their next year of university a month ago, he’s known stevie is going to come and visit.

he just kind of forgot the exact day stevie would be arriving.

so when he, clad in nothing but his garfield pyjama pants and a metallica t-shirt that’s falling apart, walks into the kitchen one morning and sees someone he doesn’t know at the kitchen counter fiddling with their instant coffee machine, he almost shits himself.

luckily, he doesn’t, because he remembers in that split second that stevie was due to arrive last night. but he still flinches pretty hard at the fright and grabs for the nearest grabbable thing, which turns out to be the doorframe. somehow, he makes a noise loud enough to get the mystery person’s attention, and they turn around.

holy shit. eddie did not know stevie is hot. or that stevie’s actually a guy. he kind of just assumed, with the nickname and all? but the man standing there looks like he could’ve been carved by the gods eddie doesn’t believe in, and- eddie realises he’s been staring at the guy for a few seconds now, and decides to talk like a normal human being. he first adjusts his position so he’s no longer holding onto the archway of the kitchen for support, and smiles at the guy.

“hi, you must be stevie?” he offers, and stevie takes a few seconds to process his words before nodding with a smile.

“my name is steve. robbie just is… hm, silly?”

eddie blinks a couple times, because steve has an accent. a thick one. he should’ve expected that, because- hello? they’re both literally from italy. but it catches him off guard, and adds to steve’s hot factor. why didn’t robin warn him about this.

“yeah, robin is very silly.” he agrees with a chuckle, and then realises steve might not know him, “i’m eddie. robin’s roommate. you probably knew that already though, so now i probably look like an idiot. well- more of an idiot than i already do in these clothes…”

he lets his words trail off as he realises steve is frowning at him in subtle confusion. he’s picked up robin’s rambling-when-nervous habit over their friendship, and hot guys tend to make him pretty nervous. but then he realises maybe steve isn’t as fluent in english as robin is, and even if he is eddie’s a fast talker that doesn’t always pronounce things fully.

“i am sorry,” steve looks embarrassed, “my english is not as good as robin.”

eddie feels so guilty at the pink that’s made itself known on steve’s cheeks, and shakes his head immediately.

“no! you don’t need to be sorry. i just talk a lot when i’m nervous.” he confesses. why did he say that? now steve knows he’s nervous. or does he? maybe he didn’t catch his full sentence.

steve raises one eyebrow at eddie though, and one side of his mouth quirks up into a smile as he turns around to keep trying to make himself a cup of coffee.

“i am making you nervous? why?” steve asks, his back still turned. now eddie’s the one with red cheeks. dammit.

“it’s because eddie here thinks you’re hot, stevie.”

eddie’s flinch at robin’s magical appearance behind him is somehow more spectacular than earlier, and he clutches dramatically at his heart and spins around to glare at robin.

“robin! what the fuck, man!” he yelps when he realises what she’s said. but robin isn’t listening, she’s too busy speaking to steve in italian about who knows what.

probably about how she knows all eddie’s tells for when he finds a guy attractive and how she knows eddie’s type and steve checks every single box. or, eddie squints at the pair as robin tsks at steve and takes over manning the coffee machine, maybe robin’s just telling steve how to make a coffee with the machine?

“you think i am…” steve starts as he spins around to look at eddie, and seems to be searching for a word for a few moments, “attractive?”

eddie’s eyes widen, and then he sighs and fixes a glare on robin. robin just shrugs and makes a very insincere ‘oopsie’ expression, and eddie is about to start denying like his life depends on it, but he looks back at steve.

and steve has that blush back on his face, and a tiny smile, and he’s looking eddie up and down even in his ridiculous outfit.

“um, yes.” eddie practically squeaks, not used to having someone’s eyes on him like this.

steve says something to robin in italian that sounds like it ends with a question mark, and robin rolls her eyes.

“steve wants me to translate a pick up line he wants to use on you, but i literally refuse to do that. google translate is free.”

and with that, she leaves the kitchen.

[inf3ct3dd]

streamer!ellie headcanons

warnings: yo no se

content : streamer!ellie headcanons 🔥🔥

authors note : the streets r calling and they’re telling me to write streamer ellie hcs….

- def started off as a faceless streamer. she wasn’t really comfortable on camera, and she just thought it would be way easier. you can only see her shoulders-down leaving her (deliciosu. scrumptious. yummy) arms in the cameras view.

- her twitch user is “creeperewman” cuz shes like…discreetly hiding her initials and referencing the best minecraft parody ever 😕!!!

- bought the most random shitty mic and webcam and started streaming 🔥🔥 she never got rid of either of them its part of her odd loser charm

“‘fartmaster69:it’s probably cuz your camera’ it’s probably bc of YOUR CAMERA!!! theres nothing wrong w my camera bro 😞”

“don’t listen to them…ur perfect 🤫 IM NOT TALKING TO U GUYS IM TALKING TO MY CAMERA”

- only had a few viewers the first couple times she streamed, and it was some random 10 yr old who kept spamming “yassss” in the chat and some dude who said she was shit at minecraft 😞 he was LYING

- started off doing minecraft speed runs (or trying to) and got like way good over time

- she randomly started getting more and more viewers, because people kept posting abt her and calling her fine on tiktok , making edits of her hands and her voice 😭😭 (real)

- as she got more and more viewers, she started branching out more with the games she’d play. def loves shooter games like cod and pubg, but she’d also play like indie horror games like faith (omg markiplier fans would know)

- she has a orange cat she named garfield (cuz…of course she does) and he’s always sitting on her lap during her streams or messing w her setup 💔💔

- def put stickers all over her headset and showed them off all proud on stream

- designed her own cute banners and stuff for streams 😞!!!

- def had a subreddit/disc server with her viewers where she’d let them give her game recs or make memes of her

- ppl saw her guitar in the back of her streams and BEGGED HER to play it and she had her own lil concert stream !!! she was so freaking nervous and messed up a bunch the first like minute or two but like after that she was in the ZONE

“‘ewswife: i wish i was that guitar’ oh!! you guys are so…kind!!!”

- when she INSANELY hit 1k, she did a face reveal and she hit 10k the same day 😦 the amount of edits that ppl made was actually insane. ESP ONES MAKING FUN OF DREAMS FACE REVEALLLL

- started doing much more random shit on stream after she got more famous. she LOVES cooking on stream, and she’d start reacting to random shit ppl sent her on the subreddit

- she cut her hair on stream once, and everyone in the chat kept spamming “yo bob…is fye” for like 5 minutes 😪

- “you’re at work watching me? i hope you get fired. i mean. i hope you don’t get fired 😞”

- she gets so many thirst comments and like…is terrible at responding to them

“‘ewleftbicep: you look so vulnerable today’ WHAT”

- she has her own apartment cuz of her awesome streaming money 🔥🔥🔥 soundproofed walls too cuz she’s. loud.

- one day, you were walking on campus to a class. you had your headphones on, listening to your main playlist on shuffle, when you got stopped by someone. you pulled your headphones off your ears and gave the man in front of you a confused look. you looked down to his hands, holding a tiny mic, and another dude holding a camera.

“what song are you listening to?” he held the microphone towards you, awaiting your response.

you quickly responded “uhm, last goodbye, by jeff buckley.” and stood there awkwardly, pushing a piece of hair out of your face.

the man quickly thanked you and you walked away, slightly suprised.

- after a couple hours, the video had blown up and the comments were filled with people complimenting you.

pickleluna: jeff buckley girl is so fine

minyonlala: 3rd girl is so bad

rilakkila: I NEED JEFF BUCKLEY GIRL

and unknown to you, someone else found you on their fyp.

creeperewman: guys what is the 3rd girls @. im literally BEGGING BRO PLEASEEE

- ewleftbicep: BEING DESPERATE ON MAIN IS CRAZY

- ewsgirlf: random tiktok girl stole my wife 💔

- elliewilliamsidechick: guys im literally the 3rd girl 😂😂😂

- it didn’t take long for your phone to be blown up with people sending you the video, tagging you in funny comments, and finding your instagram. you watched the video, and saw ellie was the top comment. you checked her profile, and saw how FINE she was, and immediately responded

- y/nmainn: guys 😳😳😳 what if i was the third girl 😳😳

- ellie checked her phone and saw thousands of people tagging your comment, and she wasted zero time following you on tiktok. and your instagram. its not stalking if its in your bio, right?

- you two immediately hit it off, and ellie loved the fact that you had absolutely no idea who she was. to you, she was just some hot girl. not some famous streamer you were obsessed with.

- she didn’t even realize you two went to the same school until she saw you in her astrophysics class one day, and she almost had a heart attack when you waved at her and walked over to sit next to her.

“what a coincidence.”

- she took you out on your first date to a planetarium, and not even a week after, asked you to be her girlfriend.

- she definitely teaches you how to play her favorite games. but she gets wayyyy defensive when you beat her.

“im just letting you win.”

“beginners luck.”

but shes SO COCKY when she beats you

“hey, don’t be so hard on yourself after this. not your fault im a professional!”

“aw, maybe one day you’ll be as good as me”

- definitely helps you build your own pc.

- loves watching you play things like animal crossing or stardew valley, always lays on your shoulder while you’re on the couch.

“why are you being so mean to gaston :((“

“because hes UGLY and he has an ugly house and he’s ruining my village.”

“wowww you’re bullying a little bunny man because he doesn’t fit your aesthetic 😒 so mean”

- if you like more aggressive games like cod, she loves listening to you talk shit while you play and always makes fun of people with you. (she thinks its hot when you’re mean to people)

- her chat absolutely loves you, and every time you stream together its a continuous stream of “me and who” and “when is it my turn 😪”

[neiveel3llson]

Obey Me! Incorrect quotes

Diavolo trying to convince MC to continue being the babysitter:

NB Diavolo: "What are you talking about MC? You love it here!"

NB MC: "I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome."

Solomon being an old ass man:

NB Solomon: "The dinosaurs didn’t rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have."

Satan for no reason at all:

NB Mammon: "Do I sound smart, or am I smart? "

NB Satan: "You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest."

Leviathan being depressed:

NB Lucifer: "How are you today?"

NB Leviathan: "Please don’t make me think about my life."

Beelzebub being.. Beelzebub:

NB Beelzebub: "My stomach growled super loud in French."

NB Beelzebub: "I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class."

NB Leviathan: "Bonjour."

NB MC: "Le growl."

NB Mammon: "Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette."

NB MC now that they're a demon:

NB MC: "I am literally evil incarnate."

NB MC: "I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil."

NB MC: "Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort."

Solomon can't cook:

NB Solomon: "I truly go into househusband mode when I'm someone's soulhousemate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning."

NB MC: "This is a lie."

NB MC: "I'm literally living with him. This is a lie."

NB MC: "HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS."

MC just wants to go home:

NB Solomon: "I think I'm falling for you."

NB MC: "Then get up."

Levi is sick of Satan:

NB Leviathan: "Satan is okay."

NB Beelzebub: "He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause he gave me the mackerel eyes, he meant it!"

NB Leviathan: "Beel, Satan threatened me. He threatens Lucifer every day. He probably threatened Diavolo before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Grow a pair."

Levi self-deprocating:

NB MC: "I'm going the fight the next person who insults Levi."

NB Leviathan: "I hate myself."

NB MC: "Alright, square up."

When MC first came:

NB MC, referring to NB Mammon and NB Diavolo: "Those guys are dorks."

NB Lucifer: "Yes, but they’re my dorks."

Belphegor annoying Lucifer on purpose:

NB Belphegor: "Lucifer, we have a visitor."

NB Lucifer: "Don't tell me it's our babysitter.."

NB Belphegor: "It's MC."

Lucifer being sick of Mammon's shit:

Lucifer: "The greatest trick the diavolo's father ever pulled was changing his name to Mammon."

Mammon bc he's my fav pookie:

Mammon: "So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?"

MC: "Depends. Is your bed comfortable?"

Mammon: "Yes."

MC: "I'd sleep."

Thirteen is going insane:

Thirteen: "Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time."

Diavolo is far too concerned:

*after discussing a plan*

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any questions?"

Diavolo: "Is this legal?"

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any relevant questions?"

Satan loves to boast:

Satan: "I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight."

MC: "What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?"

Satan, already taking off his clothes: "God, MC, you’re so fucking stupid."

It probably wouldn't work anyways:

MC: "Here’s the cold medicine you asked for." *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Thirteen: "...Thanks."

Levi and Garfield:

Leviathan: "I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer room in the basement of HOL with Cerberus."

Math doesn't work:

MC: "Which is correct, seven and five is thirteen, or seven and five are thirteen?"

Thirteen: "Niether."

Thirteen: "Because it's twelve."

Venomous or poisonous?:

Lucifer: "If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous."

Mammon: "What if it bites me and it dies?!"

Lucifer: "Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mammon, learn to listen."

Diavolo: "What if it bites itself and I die?"

Lucifer: "That's voodoo."

MC: "What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Lucifer: "That's correlation, not causation."

Asmodeus: "What if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Solomon: "That's kinky."

Barbatos: "Oh my goodness."

:P done

[ladykailitha]

A Love Connection Part 1

In a very special engagement (as in a don't normally post 5 days a week), I introduce "A Love Connection"!

If the premise looks familiar the original idea is from here, where a couple of people in the notes or tags said they'd love to try it. And after a year, I figured I'd try my own hand at the idea.

This will update on Tuesdays at 10am and 10pm EST. With hopefully eight chapters.

Summary: Steve has tried everything under the sun to find someone to truly connect with, so he gives up after a particularly horrible date. Then Chrissy introduces him to her favorite game show "Love Connection". When Chrissy and Robin apply for him, they don't think they'll except him, but he does. His suitors are Billy Hargrove, Tommy Hagan, and Eddie Munson. Will Steve crash and burn again or will his connection be there waiting for him?

~

Look, to say Steve’s love life was a disaster would be unfair. That would be underselling it. It was a fucking catastrophe. He had gone to bars, joined hobby groups, used all the apps, even Grindr; though that was mostly for hookups, which sucked. But that was the nature of the beast if he was honest.

And the beast had completely devoured him. All his dates were either only interested the casual, cheated on him, or wanted one-night stands. Which Steve absolutely did not want. He wanted connection. Intimacy.

“I absolutely give up,” he whined to Robin, after the last date tried to slip out in the middle of the night, knocked over their lamp into their goldfish bowl, killing the goldfish, then he tried to hide the evidence by dumping it down the garbage disposal and turning it on! Lied about it, then stole their last beer as “compensation for his trauma’ and told Steve to never call him again.

“Look, Ryan wasn’t the best guy,” Robin replied with a grimace. “He liked Oasis and Tool unironically. Always a red flag.”

Steve snorted. Robin was a music snob most days, but she wasn’t wrong about that. Ryan and he had been dancing around and with each other for weeks before they finally got so hot and heavy that they went back to Steve’s for sex.

“It’s not fair,” he huffed. “You went to that bar and you a hottie girlfriend and I went to that bar and fucked a fish killer! I loved Garfield! He lived for five years before that bastard mercilessly murdered him. That’s long than my last ten relationships combined!”

Robin winced. “Ooh... I’m going to have to call Chrissy and let her know we can’t go back to that gay bar again.”

“Oh he’s so dead now!” Steve ranted. “Not only is he fish killer, he has driven us from our favorite bar!”

“Let me order us some take out,” Robin said standing up, “then I’ll call Chrissy over and we’ll all cry over Ciarán Hinds and Amanda Root falling in love.”

Steve sniffed away a couple of tears and nodded. “Then can we have a funeral for Garfield?”

Robin tilted her head and smiled sadly. “Of course we can. It’s a Sunday so none of us have work. We can watch as many weepy romance movies as you want, okay?”

“Okay,” Steve croaked. She gave him a big hug and kissed his cheek. He watched her wander into the kitchen to see what leftovers they had in the fridge so they could order from somewhere else. He loved her so much.

~

Sometime in the afternoon when they were more than a little tipsy, Chrissy commandeered the remote and turned on her favorite game show.

“Love Connection”

“Noooo...” Steve whined, burying his head into a throw pillow. It was Garfield shaped. It was what inspired the naming of the valiant fish. “This is the last thing I want to see. It’s so fake. No one gets together on these things. It’s so cheesy.”

“Exactly!” Chrissy crowed. “That’s why it’s perfect, we get to make fun of them!”

Steve thought that the only good part of the show was the second half. The first half was split into three different rounds. The first round was each suitor answer the one question, for a total of fifteen and then the catch would rank them, best got three points, second two, and third only one.

Then in the second round there were a set of rapid fire either or questions that the catch would yell out and the suitors would write down their answers. If their answer matched the catch’s they would get a tally. Whoever had the most tallies would win five points. Then three points to second place and one to the last place.

Then in the final round, each suitor would be asked separate questions and the catch would rate their answer one through three and that’s how many points they would get. Then at the end of the round all the points would be tallied up and the two highest would move on to the next round.

To the part that Steve actually liked. The first question always asked was “what would you do for a first date?” And the suitors got to take the catch out for the date and then afterward for drinks, the two dates would ask the catch some of the questions he asked them. Then the catch would pick the one they connected to the best.

It was all the stupid questions that bothered Steve. That was the fun part of dating, having these conversations and learning about them as you go. But then maybe that’s what Steve’s problem was, is that the people he dated didn’t care about these types of conversations.

“Why would you say you hate sports,” Steve huffed, waving his hand at the screen, “when the guy is a major soccer fan? Like did she think that she was going to put a stop to him enjoying it after starting dating?”

“Ooh yeah,” Chrissy agreed. “Just pick a different catch.”

Robin turned to her and tilted her head. “Do they get to chose their catch? I thought it was all random.”

Chrissy paused the show and pulled out her phone and the Wikipedia article. “Okay, it says here that people can apply to be suitors,” she waved at the row of women in the three booths. “Or catches.” She indicated the guy with her hand. “If they’re chosen to be a suitor then they are given a list of catches, headshot included. Then they rank vote them, so if four people pick Henry, then one will be on their second rank vote. And that part is randomized. According to them, anyway.”

Steve snorted. He highly doubted anything was randomized or voted on. They went for the biggest drama and everyone knew it.

“How long has this show been going on?” he huffed. “Like please tell it’s new and shiny and that’s why people like it.”

Robin snorted and shook her head. “Sorry, babe. But this is season twelve.”

“Oohh...” Chrissy said. “We need to show him the season six finale. That was hella juicy!”

So despite Steve’s protests, Chrissy pulled it up on her streaming services even though they hadn’t even finished the episode they were on.

When the credits rolled, Steve stared at the screen in utter shock. “What the honest fuck was that?”

Two of the three guys got into an all out brawl when the one guy had scored the lowest and felt that the second place suitor cheated. Not first place, second. Both guys were arrested and hauled off the set.

“It came out later Sven was right,” Robin said. “Elliot cheated. His cousin was an ex of the catch so he went in knowing a lot about Stella. The things he got wrong were things that had changed since she was dating his cousin.”

Chrissy nodded. “That’s why the have partitions up between the suitors now and why they have vigorous screening now. The show was almost canceled.”

“So why wasn’t it?” Steve asked honestly. “That was a shit show, if I was Stella I would have sued them into oblivion.”

Robin squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. “She did, but they settled out of court.”

“Basically,” Chrissy said, pouring them more wine and handing the first glass to Steve, “she wanted them to completely overhaul the system. She didn’t want it off the air, she wanted it safer for future participants.”

“The more the fool them,” Steve huffed. He took a long sip of his wine. “All right, fine. Let’s start at the beginning.”

Robin and Chrissy cheered and they all huddled up together on the sofa to watch this absolute train wreck of a show.

They were about half way through the third season and twice as drunk when Steve slurred, “Why are there no gay peemles in this? It’s a trav–trad–tramajesty.”

“Travesty!” Robin slurred back, her language skills always being the last to go when she’s three sheets to the wind. “And you are absolutely right! This is homophobic!”

Chrissy nodded solemnly and pulled out her phone. “I’mma show them...” she muttered with her tongue sticking out. “At loveconnectionUSA Need more gays, hashtag loveconnection hashtag need more gays.”

It wasn’t long after that that the three of them passed out on the sofa, empty bottles all around them and a message on the screen asking if they’re still watching.

~

There was a loud beeping noise and it absolutely was hurting his head. He reached over to where his phone was usually plugged in on his nightstand, but his hand went straight through it. He waved his arm all over the place but still his nightstand eluded him.

He peaked open one eye but his vision was obscured by a mass of blonde hair. He tried to push it out of the way but it kept falling back into his face. Finally he pushed Robin off him and onto the floor with a thud.

“Hey!” she yelped.

Steve peered over the edge of the sofa with a look of confusion. “Why are you on the floor?” he muttered over the still beeping of his alarm.

“Stop!” he mumbled and somehow, blissfully it did.

“I’m on the floor because you pushed me there,” Robin huffed, getting to her feet. She did a sniff test and grimaced when she completely failed. “God... how much did we drink yesterday?”

Chrissy struggled to sit up and blinked at her girlfriend groggily. “Not enough if I feel like this.”

Steve rolled over and looked at them both in confusion, then the events of Saturday and all day Sunday came flooding back in.

“Oh fuck...” he muttered, sitting up himself and rubbing his face. One eye was blurry from where his contact had shifted in the night. He wasn’t even sure why he had them on. Probably from sheer force of habit.

He got up and stumbled toward the bathroom where he emptied his stomach of all its boozy contents. He really didn’t remember them eating after breakfast, only a steady stream of harder and harder liquor.

While his was puking his guts out, Chrissy and Robin stole the shower. Thankfully only taking the time they needed to get the gross feeling of being hungover off their skin.

Then Steve closed his eyes as they exited the shower and snuck into Robin’s room to get ready for work. They all worked at Hawkins Middle School, where Steve was a history teacher who coached swimming and basketball. Chrissy was a health teacher and advisor for cheerleading. And Robin was the language teacher. The principal snatched her up because she could teach French, Spanish, and Italian, with her only needing to hire a German teacher.

Steve got his shower and then opted for glasses instead of his contacts, not trusting his shaky hands not poke out his eye or some shit.

They all were mostly human once they got coffee, painkillers, and cereal in them, the three of them, no doubt looking like escaped extras from a zombie flick. They moved as one, gathering up their stuff and shuffling out to Steve’s car. Chrissy sat in the back, Robin riding shotgun.

Chrissy opened her phone to check to see if she had any messages. “Holy shit!”

~

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Look I'd be sorry about the cliffhanger, but you're only waiting 12 hours for it, soooo...

Have fun!

Tag List: TEN SLOTS OPEN

1-@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

[madelynraemunson]

CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪

(Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club series)

strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!reader

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ MDNI

Chapter 015: Eddie, Do You Copy?

Learning about, understanding, and loving all parts of Eddie.

* = somewhat smut

** = smut

↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014**, 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020*

word count: 5.8k words

disclaimers — fluff, grief, flight of icarus easter eggs bc of eddie’s mom, ANGST, talks of childhood abuse/negligence/foster care, implied domestic violence, homicide, cancer, mentions of suicide, mentions of underaged drinking/drug use if you squint, lil modern-nostaglia moment btwn eddie and the boys (as a treat ✨), erica and wayne cameo yayyy

author's note: eddie is so boyfriend in this chapter 🫠 happy holidays, you filthy animals ♥️

“I put the record on, wait till I hear our song. Every night I’m dancing with your ghost.”

♡

Your eyes accommodate the first beacon of light as thirst creeps its way into your system.

6:38 AM.

Quietly chucking the covers off, you find yourself hobbling over Eddie in attempts to get to the kitchen. You can only hope that it doesn’t wake him.

Eddie responds with a low grumble. Followed by some mumbling and flailing. And then you watch as he shifts around, doing his best to return to the state of comfort he was in before his sleep was interrupted.

But if he’s anything like you — which you know for a fact he is — his cranky self is most likely awake by now and just pretending to be unconscious to avoid early morning conversation.

To put it to the test, you press a soft kiss onto Eddie’s forehead. He smiles.

You smile to yourself. Called it.

When you get to the kitchen, you seek out Eddie’s Garfield mug for your reservoir of choice. And as it fills with water, the bedroom adjacent from his captures your attention.

Steve’s door is open. A huge indicator that he’s still not home.

Judging by the energy levels of everyone last night, you assume it’s because they were still out partying. And for Steve’s sake, a part of you hopes it’s also because he went home with somebody.

Once you’ve got your water, you sneak back into Eddie’s room, using the newfound, natural light to really study it.

You would’ve thought it was an extension of Steve’s room, not Eddie’s. Everything’s a posh navy blue, something Eddie wouldn’t be caught dead in if he had been anywhere else.

But the corner of his room is more like him, decorated with vinyls and a Crosley just like your sister’s. There were records of his favorite metal bands: Sabbath and Maiden. Anthrax, Metallica, and Judas Priest. And the unsuspecting like Elvis, The Doors, and Pink Floyd. Even country — both old and new, Johnny Cash and Chris Young — followed by a wide selection of Chicago blues and bluegrass.

The rest of his personality could be found on the bulletin board sitting on his desk.

Hand soap, dryer sheets, FUCKING DO PAYROLL

Eddie’s to-do list. You let out a soft chuckle.

Familiar faces canvas the board. There’s photos of Eddie, Jeff, Gareth, and Grant. A picture of him with his uncle — Young Eddie with his hair buzzed and Uncle Wayne’s a subtle gray, most likely Eddie’s doing.

There’s a photo of Steve and Eddie at a Colt’s game. Eddie and Dustin. And Eddie with Will at what looked to be a D&D convention of sorts.

But one photo catches your eye the most.

‘MOMMY & ME: LIZ + EDDIE , 1994’

His mom’s name was Liz. You graze the picture of Liz holding a baby Eddie in her arms. On her face was a dimpled smile like no other, the love-filled look in her eyes having been shielded by her thick wavy brown hair.

But you didn’t need to see her eyes to know how much she loved Eddie. You see it in how she’s holding him, gently pressed to her chest while she supports his neck, his beady brown eyes staring at her with the same amount of adoration.

It all reminds you of Mom. You’re almost certain there’s a picture of you two like that, but it’s back home with Billy… evidently a forbidden turf to trek.

At least there’s still the memory of it. But like the bond with your twin, it’s also growing to be distant.

Your eyes and tears trickle down to another picture of her on Eddie’s bulletin board.

It’s of Toddler Eddie now with Liz in what looks like a kitchen. He’s standing on her feet and, judging by the motion of the picture, is dancing along to a song that was probably playing on the stereo. Behind the two of them sat piles and piles of CDs, all of which were all of the blues.

“She was pretty, wasn’t she?”

Eddie is behind you now. He smiles at you with a dreamy gaze, beaming at the mere fact that the two women who made him happiest could be visually processed in the same frame.

You gulp.

“Really, really pretty,” you insist. “You have her smile. A-and her hair.”

"Yeah, I look a lot like her," Eddie chuckles with a hint of pride. He grazes the photos of her in the same way you did. "She’s influenced me a lot growing up. Bet that's why my sperm donor can't stand me."

You carefully dissect his choice of words. There’s a lot of resent for Alan Munson on Eddie’s part. You don’t blame him, if what Billy discovered had been true. It’s the same reason you and him resent Dad.

Eddie fixates on the expression on your face. He knows why this is so moving for you.

“It never gets easier, does it?” he questions, hinting at your own ongoing struggle with grief.

You cross your arms and shake your head. Softly you mutter, “Never.”

You feel stupid. Eddie’s doing his best to navigate his own baggage, yet you still found a way to make it about yourself.

He pulls you close and wraps his arms tenderly around your waist. Eddie doesn’t have to say it to reassure you that your burdens are safe in his presence. You can just feel it. Two traumatized individuals understand each other in a way others can’t.

“Time just keeps going,” you speak again. “Everyone moves on and you’re kinda just…stuck in place.”

“World just keeps going. Grief doesn’t care about your plans when it blindsides you, taking you for everything you’ve got.”

You swallow hard as Eddie’s words sink into you.

Tragedy just feels so non-consensual. No one ever asks for it to happen.

You and Billy can’t even go surfing without thinking about Mom. Whenever you try you both always end up fighting. That’s why Max tends to go alone or with her own friends.

“I have to stay away from a whole genre of music because I’ll burst into tears,” you scoff in agony. “Billy and I can’t even listen to Iration without thinking of our mom.”

“Can’t listen to Muddy Waters without thinking of mine.”

You and Eddie sway in place to the tandem of your beating hearts. It’s a breath of fresh air knowing you have each other now.

After a while, he ruffles your hair and spins you around so that you can face him.

"But enough about that," Eddie attempts a smile. He rubs your shoulders and you hum in awe. "This is supposed to be a happy time."

"Happiness and despair can coexist," you sniff. “Duality, remember?”

Eddie smiles. It's a you're right kind of smile. "I was yesterday years old when I learned that."

He kisses your forehead and soon you two are in the shower, rinsing up and mentally preparing for the long day of errands ahead.

You’re the first to hop out and get dressed, eager to devour a bowl of oatmeal before tackling the day.

"Hey… babe?" Eddie calls out to you from his closet.

The pet name almost sounds too natural rolling off his tongue. But then again he is the owner of a strip club, and was married for a few years before meeting you.

“Yeah?” you call back, heart skipping a beat.

“Can you make me a coffee while you’re out there?” he requests. “The usual black drip coffee with some hazelnut? Please and thank you.”

“Of course, hun.”

You can get used to this.

So you make your way back out into the living room and kitchen shortly after, practically skipping. But the person you see in the kitchen — with tired eyes and a bowl of his own oatmeal in hand — stops you in your tracks.

"Morning, Hargrove," Steve responds.

You're so dumb. You've gotta start realizing that when you sleep with one of them, the other may pop in at any minute. After all, it’s their townhouse.

As frozen in place as you are, you do your best to shoot Steve a shy little wave. Again, the look on his face indecipherable.

"Morning..." you pathetically respond.

Steve eventually grants you a wave back. He pokes around at his oatmeal while you make your way over to the fridge, your cheeks flushing a timid red as you do so.

You move in a way that seems like you were way too conscious of your actions. Even Steve notices. But he keeps trying to eat, his spoon clinking against his bowl as he intermittently clears his throat, all an attempt to fill the void of silence.

"Did you have a fun night?" you question. "You know... bar-hopping."

"Yeah, I did," he replies. "Argyle had to get cut off cuz he was being real extra with it."

"Oh geez."

"I know."

“How was Max?”

“She was fine,” Steve shrugs. “The bars use the same 21+ wristbands Hellfire does so we were able to sneak her in no problem. Chrissy made sure she got home safe. The girls were just stoked they finally got to have a carefree night.”

“That’s so good,” you breathe a sigh of relief. “I’m so happy for them.”

“Yeah,” he nods in agreement. “I’m really happy for them too. Seems like they needed it.”

Finally, your friend decides to address the elephant in the room.

"We uhh..." he begins. "We should probably end what we have going on here. Just so no one gets hurt."

“I think that’s a smart idea too,” you mumble as you nod.

You make your way over to Steve, stunned that he doesn’t shy away from you when you invade his personal space. Instead he leans into you, opening up his lap so you can maneuver between his legs.

You know, like how friends usually talk.

“It was fun while it lasted…”

"I know. I just feel so bad..." you choke, rubbing his arm softly. "I’ve wasted your time."

"I wouldn't say that," Steve refuses, shaking his head rapidly. He touches you back, running his hand across your arm. "I've thoroughly enjoyed your company."

Eventually his hand intertwines with yours.

There’s a heaviness in the room and something tells you that Eddie is near, looming at the foot of his room so that your business with Steve remains uninterrupted. He knows there’s some dust that still needs to settle. And he will linger until it does.

"You helped me get out of a really dark place," Steve admits. "And Eds too, I'm sure."

You look back towards Eddie's room.

“It wasn’t my intention to fall for him,” you say. “It just…happened. The connection, i-it’s...”

“I know…” Steve soothes you. “Been pickin’ up on that for a while. If you think I’m blaming you, I’m not.”

Steve urges you to meet his gaze again. And when a teardrop falls from your eye, he uses his thumb to wipe it away. Tells you to stop, before he too starts crying.

"This is... a huge step for him," Steve manages a grin. “I don’t think you realize, Shy Girl.”

"Yeah, I bet," you nod. "After Isabelle..."

"Yeah, Isabelle and everything else that dude's got going on," he confirms. "This is really good for Eddie. I can tell. It’s why I think it’s best that we part ways.”

Steve eventually does cry too, but it’s a rather suppressed one. The both of you take turns wiping each other’s tears, embracing the presence of each other for just a short while longer before needing to distance yourselves indefinitely.

You’re never going to forget Steve Harrington. His charm. His integrity. His everlasting devotion to the ones he loves most, and how he’d — time and time again — go to the ends of the earth for them. A noble soul in the highest regard. A true king.

“Thank you for being so kind,” you say to him. “You made my first week in Indiana a lot less intimidating. I hope you’ll still be around.”

“Of course I’ll still be around,” Steve chuckles. “Look at our friend group. Look at where I live.”

You share a laugh with him again.

“Ain’t no getting rid of me that easy, Hargrove.”

“I can sure try though, right?”

“Now why would you do that?” he banters sarcastically, chuckling into you.

He kisses your cheek softly one last time. Finally, Eddie’s door swings open, prompting you and Steve to asunder from one another.

“RISE AND FUCKING SHINE!” Eddie announces his entrance. “Both my soul and thine.”

You get out of Eddie’s way so he can go over and hug Steve good morning. Eddie then breaks the hug with a peck on the cheek and rough slap to Steve’s ass. Steve winces but you can tell he enjoys it.

“Mwah!” Eddie cheers. “Love you, babyboy. What you got going on today?”

“Oh, just gonna work on the online biz for a bit,” Steve mumbles as he ushers his hands through some paper. “Then ’m gonna start recruiting peeps for my other new job.”

“I forgot you dropship now,” Eddie says. “How’s that going?”

“Really fucking good,” Steve smiles. “I shouldn’t count on it too much though. It’s why I also have Newby’s. Speaking of which…”

Steve hands you a flyer. You take it from his hands.

NEWBY’S COFFEE ROASTERS: Even Superheroes Need Coffee!

Steve explains to you that a new coffee shop is taking over Family Video’s old suite. The owner grows his own coffee beans and all syrups are organically made from Hawkins locals. And since they’re a Mom and Pop shop, they were really going to need some help.

“If Maxine is still looking for a job, she’s more than welcome to apply,” Steve says. “We’re gonna need baristas. And we’ll be coworkers so whenever she’s on, I can drive her to work.”

“That sounds like an awesome gig for her!” Eddie pitches in. “Free coffee for employees too, I’m guessing.”

Steve nods at Eddie’s remark.

“That’d be amazing,” you blush. “Thank you, Stevie.”

“Thank you, Stevie,” Eddie parrots you. You elbow him playfully.

“Yeah, anything for you guys. I’ll put in a good word for her to Bob. He’s the owner. Great guy.”

“And what about this owner, huh?” Eddie chimes in. “Hope you can pull some strings and snag me some of those magic beans as well. I’m gonna need it. I also don’t mind paying full price cuz it’s goin’ to Newbs.”

“T’yeah with your job? You can have all the beans you want.”

“Mm, speaking of which,” Eddie scoffs as he stares at the time on his Apple Watch. “It’s almost time.”

Steve imitates Eddie’s gesture. Your eyes dart between the two of them, confused about the context of the whole ordeal.

“What are you guys-” you begin.

“Ah, buh-buh!” Steve stops you. “Wait for it…”

You look at the time on your phone to feel some sort of involvement as well.

7:59 —> 8:00

Eddie’s phone rings.

"An everyday thing," Steve tsks, shaking his head, resuming his breakfast as he does so.

"First problem of the day," Eddie looks at you. "It’s always something with Hellfire. From the moment the day begins...Yello?"

It’s Lucas. Sinclair never really calls unless it’s a dire situation, so you listen closely, doing your best to make out what he’s saying on the other line.

"I can't come in tonight,” is what it sounds like.

"Uh, why the fuck not?" your man demands. He places a sassy hand on his hip. "We need you for front of the house."

"Erica's sick and my car is in the shop."

"I'll pay for your Uber, you're coming in."

"I think it's covid. I don't wanna spread it to anyone if l've been exposed."

"It's not fucking covid, you guys have been jabbed more times than I can count for school."

The two continue to bicker back and forth like they’re brothers. Steve excuses himself from the narrative, going over to the kitchen sink to wash the dishes.

You watch Eddie as he lights up a pre-roll, taking a frustrated drag from it while he listens to Lucas’s, probably bullshit, excuse.

Eventually there’s a scuffle on the other line. Something something, “GIMME THE DAMN PHONE” followed by a “NO” followed by a “PHONE. NOW”. Eddie’s drags from his blunt grow increasingly slower.

Then another person speaks. The voice belongs to a girl. She sounds slightly younger than Lucas. And she sounds sick. And angry.

"Listen here, Ed-NERD Alan Munson," the girl hisses sassily. " I KNOW I did not just hear you tell my brother that he is coming in even when HE TOLD YOU why he can't. It's giving desperate. It's giving exploitation of your employees. If you want my brother to come in for a half shift at your stupid gentlemen's club then you best pull up to our residence, YOURSELF, with them spicy chicken wings level Creeping. Death. My tongue? It needs to be on FIRE. My eyes? They need to be burning from the temperature and sauce. My sinuses? BOYYY, you better be-LIEVE they oughta be SO CLEAR, I could cough up a loogie, SPIT IT OUT THE WINDOW, and have it smack you RIGHT UPSIDE THE HEAD SO HARD you won’t even THINK about forcing my brother to do something he isn’t comfortable doing again. Keep trying me, motherfucker. THE FUCK WRONG WITCHU."

Steve is flabbergasted. Eddie's mouth is wide open. You would’ve thought Lucas’s sister was on speakerphone but she wasn’t.

You're scared of Erica Sinclair. And so is Eddie, the way his eyes widen at her spiel. If Lucas's sister ever got into a heated argument with Billy, Billy would go home crying.

“And some sweet potato fries," she adds softly. "Please. Do we have a deal?"

"At your service," Eddie deals her a salute through the phone, even though she can't see it. "Anything Applejack wants, she gets. I'll be over after my Meijer run."

"As you should, sir."

Eddie turns to you after he hangs up the phone. "Don't ever own a business."

——————— 🛒—————

“WE GROW UP AND MOVE AWAY... The seasons pass, but the monsters stay.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

Hellfire is Eddie’s baby. The man lives and breathes that strip club.

As much as you’ve already harbored that suspicion, you didn’t realize his work-life balance was practically non-existent. Running errands. Frequent call-outs. Always having to prepare for the unexpected. But that’s the price one pays for owning a business. It also only seems to get harder and harder when you’re a handsome business man like Eddie, someone with the drawing power like that of a 13,000 gauss magnet.

“Mike to Munson, do you copy?”

You and Eddie have hit the road now, ready to start your errands run before your shift begins. As Eddie drives, he has you hold his phone up for him while he speaks to the boys in their group FaceTime call.

“Copy,” Eddie responds. “Thank you for covering ground, dear Paladin. It is because of you we are no longer… short staffed.”

God, they’re such dorks. You’d cringe if Eddie didn’t have the sex appeal of a Roman god.

“It’s the least I can do,” Mike insists. “Taking inventory as we speak. We need more ground chili and pop cans. Cola and Fanta, please. When you go to Meijer.”

“Done deal,” Eds nods. “Who’s doing side quests?”

“Me!” Will chimes in. “Doing silverware, stainless steel, and just helping Jonathan open up the bar.”

“Thank you, Byers-squared.”

“And I’ll sweep and do windows,” Dustin adds. “We’ll figure out the front house situation as it unfolds. Gonna be a little late. Getting gas.”

Eddie places a firm palm over your hand. He smiles at you when you look over.

“Running errands with Shy Girl, we’ll see you soon.”

“Pulling in now. Over.”

“Us too. Over.”

“Over and out, boys.”

————- 🚐———-

After your Meijer run, you and Eddie stop by CVS for Wayne’s medications and the ‘morning after’ pill. And shortly after that, you two haul ass to the other side of town to scoop up Nina.

Eddie gives the young dancer a ride to work almost every day. He also smokes her out before the shift, evident by her waltzing in stoned out of her mind all the time. It brings you peace knowing the whole story now, and that there truly is nothing more to it than that.

“Your boyfriend really needs a new car,” Eddie huffs to Nina as she climbs into the backseat. “Been telling him that shit’s on it’s last good tire.”

Figuratively and literally. The 90s Buick that you caught sight of shortly before Nina shuffled in can only be described as a lost cause. Nina knows it too, the way she scowls at the thing.

She tsks as she clicks her seatbelt in place.

“Duh, Eds. What do you think I’m saving up for?”

Eddie holds up an eighth.

“I can think of a few things,” he chuckles. “I take it you’re a fan of all things eco mode.”

“Hey, it’s 2022, of course we’re going green.”

Eddie grins. “I like how you think, sweetheart.”

Nina looks over to see who’s in the front seat. Her eyes glimmer when she realizes it’s you.

“Oh, hey Shy Girl!” she cheers.

You smile at her contently. Securely.

“Hey, Neens.”

Eddie starts up his van once again.

“Alright everyone,” he says as he shifts gears. “Hold onto something. We’re on a tight schedule so expect some Eddie Stops.”

“Not this again,” Nina mutters.

“Oh boy…” you add.

SKRRRT!

———— 🏠 ————

After dropping both Nina and the groceries off at Hellfire, you and Eddie set out to Forest Hills Trailer Park to visit his infamous Uncle Wayne.

“Wayne’s the man,” Eddie boasts as he drives on. “Taught me how to fish. Somehow taught me how to drive. Automatic and stick.”

He laughs at that one.

“Even took me out of the foster care system when I was 16. I lived in his old room for years while he took the pull-out couch in the living room.”

“Foster care?” you echo as he nods. “He was tired of you jumping from home to home?”

“Nah, I just kept running away,” Eddie cackles. “If a kid was ever in the police station for something, nine times out of 10 it was probably me. I was stressing way too many people out, Uncs probably felt bad for them.”

“But he also loves you, I bet,” you grin. “You’re his nephew, Eddie.”

Eddie smiles too. “Yeah, somethin’ like that.”

Eddie pulls into an empty dirt road just yards from the estate. You two climb out of the van together, slamming the doors in unison.

Eddie leads you up the stairs by the hand, then uses his other one to wave at old neighbors close by.

“Hey y’all! How ya doin’?” he exclaims. He lowers his voice when he speaks to you. “Those are the Johnsons. Their sons were frequent customers of mine in high school.”

Your eyes widen in shock. Eddie waves to another pair of neighbors.

“And those are the Jacobsons. I bought their sons alcohol their senior year for homecoming. Buncha lightweights though. Wouldn’t recommend.”

“Well aren’t you a hero,” you jest.

“Hey, someone’s gotta pay the bills,” Eddie shrugs, half-jokingly. “You would think 40 years at The Plant gave you a decent insurance plan but that wasn’t the case. Had to help Wayne out for a fat minute. Still do every now and then.”

Eddie shifts closer to the door and gives it a couple knocks. He leans his head towards the doorframe, placing his lips just inches away from the chipped, painted wood.

“Wayne Munson,” Eddie bellows in his playful, deep voice. “It’s your friendly neighborhood pharmacist here. I’ve come with your percs, your piss pill, and your Motrin.”

Percocet and Motrin.

Two very strong pain killers. Hearing those names send chills down your spine. Those are the same meds Mom overdosed on when Billy found her.

But given Wayne’s circumstances, it’s not too much of a concern. According to what Eddie has told you, his uncle had just retired and is very frail. Heavy machinery and long hours can do that to someone. Just constant, chronic pain.

The door swings open and you hear Eddie greet Wayne like a grateful man would greet his dad. “Hey, Old Man! How are you?”

“Hello, there my boy. Agh, watch it. ‘s hurtin’ again.”

It didn't seem like anyone was at the door when you look over. But that was because you were looking about two feet too high.

Your eyes travel to the level at which Eddie bends down and there you see Uncle Wayne, having wheeled himself to the door to greet Eddie with a warm hug.

Oh this goes deeper than you thought.

A nose cannula. Yellow grippy socks. The wheelchair that housed his thin, fragile body. The navy blue Pacers beanie that concealed the fact that the man had very little hair.

Wayne’s face was extremely chiseled in, deeming him malnourished and underweight. The bags under his eyes that drooped heavily against his sockets took up a good portion of his face — nearly half.

You look at the place behind him. His trailer had lots of rails installed, Ensure protein shakes for adequate nutrition, and the pull out couch was set up to look like a bedroom, with a collapsible dresser right beside it that was nearly lost in a sea of orange medicine bottles.

The realization nearly knocks the wind out of you.

Wayne is sick. He almost looks terminal.

It feels like the ground had opened up and swallowed you whole. Your knees feel wobbly like gelatin, but Eddie is too busy reuniting with his father figure to notice. When he turns back around, he pulls you into him, with the biggest smile on his face.

“There’s uh, someone I want you to meet,” Eddie says to Wayne, his cheeks now a deep shade of pink. “This is Shy Girl.”

“Shy Girl,” Wayne smiles the same bright smile that Eddie has. “So you’re the THEE Shy Girl that my Eddie’s been rambling to me about. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, sweetheart.”

You meet Wayne where he’s at, shaking his cold hand at eye level and giving him the warmest smile you can.

“It’s nice to meet you as well, Mr. Munson.”

“Mr. Munson,” Wayne smirks cheekily. There’s a hint of who he used to be when he does that. He was most likely a firecracker just like Eddie, evident by how the two start poking at each other in a teasing manner. “Didn’t realize we were at a business meeting. In that case, we shall not waste any time. You and Eddie can come on in now, Miss Hargrove.”

Butterflies form in your stomach. You never told Wayne your last name.

And soon you’re in Wayne’s trailer, Eddie’s old home before he grew his wings and left the nest. A bittersweet energy floods the room. It only becomes more prominent when you see Eddie and Wayne holding hands as they make their way inside.

“Welcome to my office,” Wayne proceeds, carrying on with the banter. “I’ve got some tea in the cupboards, as well as some stale saltines because this one over here thinks I should watch my sodium intake. You’re more than welcome to help yourself.”

“Thank you so much,” is all you’re able to say.

“No worries, doll.”

Wayne darts his gaze back over to Eddie. “Anywho. Now that the formalities are over… son, I need to take a shit.”

The same dry humor too. You giggle and glance over at Eddie while he grimaces at Wayne in annoyance. But, since it’s not his first rodeo, he obliges, unlocking Wayne’s wheelchair to wheel him over to the commode that was concealed behind a DIY curtain.

“Did you do your exercises today?” you hear Eddie ask him.

"I tried. Got tired ‘bout halfway through.”

“What are your oxygen levels looking like?”

“Satting 88 percent without my oxygen. 93 percent on three liters.”

“That’s what we like to see. Good job, baby. I’m proud of you.”

You stand off to the side, giving Wayne as much privacy and dignity you can throughout this very intimate ordeal.

While Eddie is away with him, you keep yourself distracted with Wayne’s mug collection, as well as the array of trucker hats that decorated one of the four walls. You take a look at what’s on the TV: The Price is Right is just about to go on a commercial break. And on the coffee table rested an assortment of dated magazines, all going back to as early as 2008. Ah yes, recession core.

Within a few short moments, Eddie comes back out. You study him as he makes his way to the kitchen to wash his hands, making faces at the friendly neighborhood cats who liked to make themselves at home on the porch.

“Anyways!” Eddie exclaims. “I’m gonna start making Erica’s wings cuz we got everything here.”

He starts back over to you.

“But before I do, want me to show you my old room? It’s like a huge time capsule. Wayne hasn’t touched it since I left.”

You can barely meet his eyes. Eddie is acting way too normal about this. Or maybe you’re too dramatic.

He sees you frowning, thinking.

“…You okay?” he attempts with you.

"Eds... I didn't know," you whisper softly.

But Eddie smiles a bit. "That's okay. I initially didn't want you to know."

"How bad is it?"

"Stage 3. Lung cancer."

"How long has he had it?"

"Siiiince… March of 2020?” Eddie recalls. "We initially thought it was covid because of all the pulmonary stuff..."

He gestures around his own lungs.

"So what started out as a — rather intimate — nose swab turned into a biopsy that turned into getting a team of specialists….”

He glances over at Wayne to make sure he’s still okay.

“To having uncomfortable talks with the case worker about...exploring other options... And then to me being his full-time caregiver."

"March of 2020..." you recall. "Isn't that the same time you and Isabelle got divorced?"

"We were finalizing it..." Eddie corrects you. “But that’s neither here or there.”

“And Hellfire?”

“We were struggling for a bit not gonna lie,” Eddie chuckles. “It was during the start of covid and no one wanted to leave the house. Even when the babes were smoking hot.”

Holding up a palm, you stop him from explaining any further.

“So let me get this straight,” you state. “Your piece of shit dad UNALIVED your mom in cold blood when you were a kid, your father figure has cancer. You somehow manage to care for him full-time all while basically living at Hellfire, your business that your ex wife tried to SABOTAGE; which led to you getting arrested and released on bail up until your trial where you were then proven NOT GUILTY. But even then, your reputation still remains slightly tainted because almost everyone in Hawkins is a narrow-minded, self-righteous prick who weaponizes religion to get an upper hand? And they know you’re an easy target so that’s exactly what they did in this case, making your life and Wayne’s a living hell when it was the last thing you two needed at the time?”

“It be like that sometimes.”

Eddie flashes you a sarcastic, ‘I’m alive’ peace sign. He’s not helping.

Your heart just about shatters.

Eddie has suffered so much. But he hides it so well with his never-ending sarcasm and Munson magic.

And to think all of this — Hellfire, Wayne, and divorcing Isabelle — went down a couple years ago. He still had his childhood to sort through. If that's even plausible.

“It’s also kinda why Chrissy and I were screwing around,” Eddie adds, snapping you out of your thinking. “Apparently I was constantly depressed and she wanted to keep me distracted and all. Again, fun. But very short-lived.”

You fall into him and squeeze him tight. Eddie is almost taken aback by it. But nevertheless, he returns the favor.

"Are you alright?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" you demand. "You have all of this going on and you're asking me if I'm alright?"

Oh, how lonely Eddie must’ve felt through all of this. You just want to hold him. Take away all of his pain.

It’s always the angels on earth who get sent to hell and back. Eddie deserves the world, and you’re going to go your best to give it to him.

"Are we alright?" you question him.

"Of course we're alright," Eddie insists, ruffling your hair like it’s the silliest thing you’ve ever asked him.

He pulls away from you. Rubs your back delicately as you soak in all of this new information.

“You sure you want to sign up for all of this?”

You are absolutely more than sure.

“Now why would you even ask that?” you choke. “You know my stubborn ass. I’m not backing down without a fight.”

“Yeaaah,” Eddie squints. “I guess you are pretty stubborn.”

You fall into one another again, kissing each other like it’s the air you need to breathe. Eddie delicately cups your face with his hands, relishing in the last couple of smooches before he pulls away.

“I like stubborn though.”

“You and me, Eddie.”

“You and me, sweetheart.”

“Eddie!” Wayne calls, innocently interrupting the moment. “I’m done, boy, now come help me get up.”

“Comin’!” Eddie cranes his neck, shouting in Wayne’s general direction. He kisses you one more time on the forehead before excusing himself. “Be right back, babe.”

You and Eddie leave for Hellfire shortly after spending a little bit more time with Wayne.

The entire ride there, you let Eddie talk about his memories with his uncle… how he’s attended homecoming rallies, talent shows, graduations, and the less-than-celebratory court hearings — loving Eddie unconditionally through thick and thin. He was there for Eddie’s senior prom, snapping photos of him with the boys and his date Ronnie, who was also his best friend at the time.

Wayne was also there for Eddie’s wedding, even though he didn’t particularly like Isabelle. Again, every milestone, Wayne was there for.

You fawn over Eddie as he continues to talk, the spark in his eyes never leaving for as long as it’s about his loved ones. You can only hope he talks to Wayne and the others about you in the same way.

You can’t believe this is real life.

From here on out, it’s going to be you and Eddie. And you’re going to be by his side no matter what, because he’s proven to you that he is committed to doing the same.

From here on out, it’s going to be Shy Girl and Eddie… and nothing… NOTHING will ever change your mind or get in the way of that.

🏷️ tag list: @chrrymunson , @the-fairy-anon , @ali-r3n , @corrodedcoffincumslut , @bebe07011 , @mmunson86 , @eddiesguitarskills , @chelebelletx , @imonhereforareasonsadly , @eddies-trailer-babe @hideoutside , @motherfckerr , @jxpsi , @lindseyj23, @sidthedollface2 , @manda-panda-monium , @elvendria , @micheledawn1975 , @hereforshmut , @siriuslysmoking , @nymphetkoo , @m-chmcl-rmnc , @justinelittlewoodsworld , @ahoyyharrington , @keepittoyourselftellnobodyelse @kellyxo1 @emsgoodthinkin @winchester-angel @chloe-6123 , @redbarn1995 @angietherose @kiyastrf94 , @purplewitchcauldron @kellsck @joyfulfxckery @munsons-mayhem28 @dragonfire @emma77645 @drivelikenina @livosssblog @thinkingth0ts @hugdealer @ellielunamckay

[abominable-space-they]

A modern LuLaw Au, where Zoro is a huge hot thriller action movie actor. He does everything from historical magical swordmaster movies to modern non-stop suspensful spy chase films

Bepo is also a super famous actor but of the opposite variety. He came up in theater, is the loveable funny dad in family movies, comedic gay uncle in summer block buster type movies, and maybe the love interest in very first date mid market fluffy first date movies marketed to divorced moms and bisexual geeks. He's like Andrew Garfield + Nathan Foad + Harvey Guillén

Perfect in other words

They get teamed up for a wacky odd couple action comedy about an Assassin who has to find his dead lover's estranged brother. The estranged brother is a librarian who speaks 13 languages. They have to go on the run together to find a package that has evidence that can clear Zoro's name.

The movie is a huge hit. At the premiere after party both Zoro and Bepo bring all their best friends.

Both of their best friend groups consist of a motley crew of loveable weirdos

Bepo begs Law to come to the after party with him. It's his biggest commercially successful film to date and a huge accomplishment. It will open up all new avenues in being able to try something different besides the quirky comedic relief. He's elated... and a little overwhelmed. So of course, eventually Law relents.

He was always going to, they both knew it. Law just had to put up a fuss first, lest people start getting ideas about how much of a push over he might be

He's secretly a giant pushover, for a particular kind of chaos... The kind that drags him kicking and screaming into having a good time despite himself, but he always denies it

Law is there for maybe an hour before he's just sick of all of the loud smiling fake crowd. Overwhelmed, he grabs a few beers, and a vape off of one of the long tables full of party favors and escapes to the most out of the way unpopulated balcony he can find.

A balcony where the only other inhabitant is a free range Luffy perched on a railing like a little flip flops and sun hat wearing gargoyle.

Luffy it turns out, wasn't overwhelmed by crowds, but he couldn't stand how fake everyone was, Zoro's manager (Nami obviously) threatened to whoop his ass personally if he made Zoro look bad by getting into anymore celebrity fist fights or accidentally on purpose calling some mega star out on their bullshit

Law is despite himself charmed by Luffy's directness and lack of patience for anything fake ever.

They end up splitting the beer and the vape and hanging out talking till long after most everyone else had already left.

When they finally remember other people exist, it's coming up on dawn and the caterers are trying to politely get them to leave. Both their friend groups have long since left just assuming they both left without telling anyone when they couldn't find them.

In the cold light of predawn Law is a little embarrassed about getting buzzed and staying up till dawn at a Hollywood function with some pretty boy he's never met before.

Luffy is if course unruffled by all of that and drags Law to breakfast with him. He decided that since they were already on their own, there was no real reason to rush off in opposite directions. He thinks all Law's embarrassed bluster is very funny and cute.

And anyway, he knew a place they could eat near by.

Luffy drags Law to the Baratie of all places. Law is so flustered he listened to this hot unstoppable ball of bouncing charisma, he makes sure to point out why the Baratie on impulse at dawn was a terrible plan:

1) they couldn't just walk into to the Baratie dressed for last night's party, from last night's party. This restaurant was much to fancy for that.

2) the Baratie was booked for months in advance unless you were extremely well connected. It was extremely popular with all the right people (and plenty of the wrong ones too)

3) The Baratie was not now, nor had it ever been open for breakfast, it was a five star restaurant not an all night diner!!!

Luffy, shrugs super casualty, beaming mischievous joy at him

"I guess I'm well connected then Torao. It'll work out fine. Come on, it'll be fun"

Law follows him swearing to himself he's only curious what Luffy thinks he can do to get in

Really

When they get their Luffy bangs on the back employee's entrance. An extremely frazzled and probably a little hung over Sanji opens the door

Luffy beams at his friend

"Sanji! I'm starving! We need meat!!"

Sanji was prepping for opening, he scowls at his friend who went missing the night before without telling anyone where he was going again

"... Luffy! Yah! What are you doing here? Where did you go last night? What are you doing with pop rock diva Donquixote Doflamingo's nephew? Damn... You're hungry? Come on in, I have some meats left over from last night's dinner. I can make you guys some breakfast bowls or something."

Sanji knows all the society players and knows exactly who Trafalgar D. water Law is even if Luffy doesn't

Luffy bounces happily through the door.

"Thanks Sanj! What do you mean what am I doing here? I'm hungry! We need meat! We didn't go anywhere. You guys left without me. It's ok, don't feel bad. Lala and I were talking. He's real cool. I think he saved my life. I was considering throwing myself off the balcony in a final act of self sacrifice so I didn't mess up Zoro's party. But then there's Law, with beer, a vape, and my still beating heart in his tattooed hands like the drums of liberation! I could feel the freedom! So we hung out and talked about neat stuff. Then the people with all the shiny trays didn't have any more food left which is sad Sanji. No food. They just asked us to leave, so of course we came here bc we're hungry. I don't know anything about Mingy's nephew or whatever. Don't bring that pink jerk into this. I'm still sad mad from when Crocodad used to bring him to every family gathering. Mingo bahhhh. Lala and I are HUNGRY. Look how pale he is Sanji. We need to eat!"

"I do not feel bad we left you Luffy. You disappeared!"

"Don't be silly Sanji. We were right there"

Sanji gives up trying to talk sense into one of his best friends at this hellish hour. Settling instead on staring silent daggers at Law. Luffy might not know any shame but most everyone else did. Sanji isn't sure what's going on but he's pretty sure he doesn't trust any relative of that insufferable smug bastard Doflamingo.

Law shrugs loose and indifferent

"He's right, we were right there... I don't associate with my uncle, I don't like or trust him any more then you do."

Sanji, nods, he understands not associating with the family you can't quite escape. Still

Raising one gracefully manicured eye brow, Sanji can't help but ask

"LaLa though?"

Luffy leaps into the air, flailing his arms and legs like a particularly ecstatic starfish.

"Yes! Lala! Oh or Tora-ora-oh? Torao?"

Law, looks away, trying to hide the surprising way the nicknames make him blush. He mumbles, embarrassed

"I gave up asking him to stop two hours ago. Maybe if I ignore it he'll get bored"

Sanji absolutely clocking the vibes, snorts a rueful laugh.

"Yeah good luck with that, well don't just lurk by the walk ins Luffy. Take your man to the family table. I'll get you guys all that meat"

Law, spends the next couple minutes in embarrassed silent processing before he comes back around to what Luffy said about Doffy. Like, he knows him because of Crocodile?

"Wait Luffy, did you just call the infamous Hollywood fixer Sir Crocodile, Crocodad?"

Luffy is busy craning his neck towards the kitchen, he crinkles his nose in playful confusion at Law

"Huh? Oh yeah. I have a lot of dads"

Law scoffs,

"That doesn't really explain anything."

Luffy let's his head fall sideways, smiling in thoughtful distraction

"Oh hey! Yeah! I can introduce you to my dads! It'll be so cool! Mihawk will love you I can already tell. Buggy will say he hates you but he won't really hate you. Mihawk says being an utter bastard is Buggy dad's primary love language”

That makes Law huff a small dry laugh

"Is that where you got it from?"

He meant it in a teasing way and for a split second worried that he'd gone to far. People were always telling him his sense of humor was to sharp, to acidic.

Like a surgeon, cutting to the quick of a person

But Luffy only stares at him owlishly, thinking earnestly about the question

"... Oh yeah. Probably. Next time I'm over I'll tell Buggy Dad that. He'll be so happy he'll cry about it. It'll be so cool. Then Shanks will think he's in trouble again and he'll be so relieved the crying's not his fault this time that he'll love you extra. Probably buy you a yacht or something in thanks for getting him out of the dog house this week. You'd look good on a yacht Lala... Or maybe a submarine, a fancy science one not those weird tin cans billionaires keep committing elaborate suicide in"

"I don't need a yacht... a submarine might be cool. A sciencey one like you said. I don't know, no I'm not thinking about that. Luffy, you just name dropped the French Designer single handedly responsible for bringing back gothic romance in high fashion, arguably the most beloved and successful mainstream actor of his generation, and the grand line's Banksy. I know this because my friend Bepo is old college buddies with one of his assistants. Is there anyone you don't know?"

"I don't know everyone. I don't know your friend Bepo yet even though he did a movie with my bestfriend. I don't know who his friend is either"

"Uh Richie, big dude, loves meat almost as much of you, nice enough. He has a giant tattoo of a green lion on his back... He's probably a furry, most Bepo's friends are... but we never talked about it to confirm it. Not a big deal either way..."

"OH YEAH RICHIE! I know him!"

"see? You know everyone"

"You're The Celestial Diva Demon Doflamingo's nephew"

Law sighs deeply

"I was hoping you didn't catch that"

Giggling Luffy shakes his head

"Shihihihihi I catch things fine, I'm flexible... I understand. I understood. Mingy doesn't have anything to do with me bringing you to my family. So it doesn't matter to me if he's your uncle Torao"

"Oh... I... Luffy... Thanks"

Luffy laughs

"Anyways, I didn't know you before but now I do and I'm glad I do. You're really fun Lala. I love fun"

Law swallows thickly, he feels called to being honest, vulnerable even. He doesn't know why exactly but it feels like Luffy will understand the importance of his saying anything at all. He clears his throat

"I'm... I can't believe I'm saying this but... I'm... not mad about it either. Usually people in this god awful town only want to talk to me because I'm the son of famous post modern surrealist painter Rosinante Corazón or because I'm Doflamingo's nephew... Fuck It's exhausting, being expected to constantly perform precious little society Prince every day for their gratification. I love my dad but I hate the looks and the judgement and the expectations for me to follow in their footsteps"

Luffy's eyes are bottomless pools of deep sepia understanding. He nods, emphatic.

"Yeah I get that. Hey, that's why I come here and eat lots of meat! Sanji's dad always yells at me with his big voice and tall hat like, I DON'T CARE WHO'S DAMN BOY YOU ARE. LET ALL SIX OF 'EM COME IN HERE AND MAKE A SCENE. I WAS OUT IN THOSE STREETS WHEN THEY WERE JUST A LITTLE TWINKLE IN THEIR DADDY'S EYES. I'M NOT SCARED OF ANY OF 'EM, NOT SCARED OF YOUR GRANDPAPPY EITHER. LET 'EM COME. YOU COME IN HERE ACTING LIKE AN ANIMAL AND TRASH MY KITCHEN. I'LL PUT YOU ON A LEASH! MAKE EGGPLANT SOLVE HIS OWN STRAW HAT SHAPED PROBLEMS!! It's real great. He loves Sanji so much and he doesn't take any crap from anyone. Sanji wants to be just like him when he grows up"

Thankfully Law is saved from acknowledging how seen, understood, and appreciated Luffy makes him feel by Sanji coming back with food.

Luffy immediately forgets anything that doesn't involve shoveling breakfast steak into his face

Later, Luffy would somehow convince Law to come back to his apartment, where they would fall asleep on the couch together watching Zoro's movies (the only DVD's they had in the house)

Luffy falls asleep chattering about pokemon and beetle battles and all his friends.

It's nice

Really nice. The sort of nice he kinda hopes continues

Law is almost asleep himself when his phone buzzes.

The screen lights up.

It's Bepo.

He totally forgot to text Bepo and let him know that he was ok.

Law wiggles a hand free and arduously texts Bepo back

-Phone mostly dead

-I'm ok

.

.

.

-Met someone...

The response was immediate:

-YOU WHAT?!

-Later Bep. I promise I'll explain. I'm gonna sleep now

-You're sleeping?! Oh you're down bad. Ok ok. I love you but boss please don't forget next time

-Promise Bep

With that taken care of and no witnesses to see him being quite so soft, Law tugs the sleeping Luffy even closer, pulled in close under his chin. He pressed his face into Luffy's mess of dark Auburn curls. For some reason Luffy smelled like sea salt and mesquite smoke. It made Law smile.

He whispered into the top of Luffy's head.

"You just blow into my life with your ridiculous hat and your insatiable appetite. You're're gonna be the death of me Captain Strawhat"

Luffy grumbled sleepily, nuzzling further into Law's chest.

"Torao worries to much. It'll be so much fun, like breakfast. I'm right. Fight me."

Somehow reassured Law grumbled some sort of acknowledgement and was shockingly, soon, fast asleep.

Luffy made such a cuddly weighted blanket. He could get used this

[djbunnie]

reddit inspired AU DamiRae

Rachel (19) was in a relationship with her high school sweetheart, Garfield (19). They had been dating since their sophomore year, a total of five years. After graduating high school, they moved to the big city, shared an apartment, and Rachel began pursuing a degree in Finance. Fortunately, she had a scholarship, and her parents covered her tuition, but she still needed a job to cover rent, utilities, and other expenses.

Rachel paid for everything without complaint, willing to make that sacrifice for her boyfriend.Garfield, he on the other hand, was pursuing his dream of becoming a DJ and influencer. While he did some work, it consisted mainly of small jobs like dj school dances and other small events. 

Things seemed normal until Garfield decided to have a serious talk with Rachel. During their conversation, he dropped a bombshell on her.

Garfield wanted them to have an open relationship, meaning they would both be free to date other people while still being together.

The idea completely shocked Rachel. From the beginning of their relationship, Rachel had been the "loser" while Garfield was the "popular" and the "it Boy." Like any other kid in school, she had longed to be accepted and have some like Garfield by her side. Imagine her luck when she experienced a growth spurt over the summer and developed a curvaceous figure. By her second year of high school, she had transformed from "loser" to "pretty girl." Rachel underwent an incredible glow up but remained quiet and timid. Garfield noticed her newfound popularity and began dating her.

Rachel was overjoyed.

She believed they were exclusive: just the two of them, committed only to each other. That was her understanding and expectation, especially since they had moved to the big city and were living together.

When he suggested changing this fundamental aspect of their relationship, Rachel initially refused, but eventually Garfield pressured her into agreeing. 

Rachel tried to convince herself that this new arrangement was acceptable and normal, and that she was truly okay with it.

Of course, they established some ground rules:

They needed to text each other beforehand about the time and location of their dates to avoid scheduling conflicts.

They would not discuss other partners with each other.

They were not allowed to bring other partners to their apartment.

And so on.

For the first four months of this polyamorous arrangement, Rachel was unhappy. It hurt to see Garfield seeing other women, as he had dates almost every day. Feeling neglected and alone, she couldn't complain because she had agreed to the terms and didn't want to appear controlling.

After four months, she decided to go out. She went to a bar and met Damian (19). They hit it off immediately, and she told him about her open relationship with her boyfriend, asking if he was comfortable with it. Damian agreed, explaining that he had recently ended a bad long-term relationship and wanted to enjoy his youth.

After a couple of dates, Rachel and  Damian really hit it off. They were constantly calling and texting each other. Whenever Rachel was with her friends, she couldn't help but talk about Damian. Every time she said Damian's name, she smiled. Damian was always on her mind, and she looked forward to their dates.

There were times when she completely forgot about Garfield.

Rachel: "Great news! Damian is ahead of his classes. He called me last night, excited because he's on track to graduate a year early!"

Donna: "That's awesome, Rae! Any plans to celebrate?"

Rachel: "Yeah! you won't believe my luck. I was able to get a reservation at that nice Italian restaurant. Someone had to cancel their reservation last minute, and it was available the day I called."

Donna: "Nice!"

Donna: takes a sip of beer "By the way, how's Garfield doing?"

Rachel: "Who? Oh! Yeah, um... he's doing okay, I guess."

At this point, Garfield was rarely home because he was constantly out with other women. Their relationship had grown increasingly distant, to the point where Rachel saw him as nothing more than a roommate—and a freeloader since he wasn't contributing financially.

Rachel stopped planning dates and buying Garfield gifts. she ceased calling and texting him, and he didn't notice because he was preoccupied with his other relationships.

Damian and Rachel were at his place, both slightly intoxicated. Sexual tension filled the air as they made out on the couch. The atmosphere heated up, and Damian began kissing her neck. 

Rachel moaned as she grind against his crotch.

Damian: feeling cocky “bet your boyfriend doesn't make you feel this good”

Rachel: "Who?"

Damian pulled away, halting their intimacy.

Damian: "Your boyfriend...Garfield? Did you forget about him?"

Rachel: "Oh! Yeah, um... I'm sorry..."

Damian: "Rachel, is everything okay?"

Rachel wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or her trust in Damian that made her so vulnerable. she confessed everything to him: how Garfield had pressured her into an open relationship and how lonely and neglected she felt. At that moment, Rachel realized she no longer had romantic feelings for Garfield. And without intending to, she confessed her feelings for Damian.

Rachel: "Oh shit! I'm sor-"

Damian: "I love you too Beloved."

Both were shocked. Rachel was overjoyed to hear him say that. He leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped him.

Rachel: "Dami, wait!"

Rachel: "Don't get the wrong idea. I'm so happy we confirmed our feelings for each other, but I want to be in a monogamous relationship."

Damian: "Me too!"

Rachel: "Great! Before we take this further and make it official, I need to break up with Garfield first."

So no physical intimacy between Rachel and Damian... yet.

On the drive home, Rachel received a text from Garfield reminding her that he was leaving for a gig tomorrow and wouldn't be back for two weeks. Seeing this as an opportunity, Rachel decided to make her move. she acted normally until Garfield left the next morning. Rachel called her best friend, Donna, and other college friends to help her pack and move into Donna's place. After moving all her belongings, Rachel texted Garfield that they should break up, informed him that she was no longer on the lease, and sent him this month's rent money via Venmo. She told him not to contact her and blocked him on everything before starting a relationship with Damian.

When Garfield returned from the gig, he bombarded Rachel with texts, calls, voicemails, and other messages. He was distraught, begging her to reconsider and claiming that opening their relationship had been a huge mistake. He confessed that the women she had dated only wanted sex and never truly loved him. He realized that Rachal was the one who truly loved him and admitted he was foolish for letting her go. He pleaded for another chance, unaware of her relationship with Damian. (plus Rachel was paying for everything, he didn't have any money) 

The first few months were chaotic, with Garfield becoming increasingly unhinged. Fortunately, law enforcement wasn't involved, and eventually, Garfield gave up and moved on. (maybe Damian was the reason why and didn't tell Rachel about it lol) However, Garfield continued to try to contact Rachal for another chance every year, but she never responded.

Rachal graduated and began working for Wayne Enterprises Finance Department.  Damian became CEO and proposed to Rachel, she said yes. They started a beautiful life together, living in the Wayne Manor with 6 children. 🥰🥰🥰

[hemmingsleclerc]

Love at first drink ┃Andrew Garfield

a/n: I wanted to write something abt andrew bc I love him sm so here it is 🤎

Within the chaos of New York, Andrew Garfield was captivated by the enchanting aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting through a quaint little coffee shop in a small area of the big city. It became a daily ritual for him to visit, every morning at the same time without fail, not only for the coffee they sold, but also to visit the lovely girl behind the counter.

Her name was Y/N (he knew it from the small pin she wore on her uniform that said that name, clearly at that moment he didn't have the courage to ask her that) and she had a smile that could light up the room. Andrew couldn't help but be drawn to her warm and welcoming presence. Every day he found excuses to strike up conversations with her, whether it was her talking about the weather, the latest movies, or strangely delicious coffee combinations.

As the days passed, Andrew realized that his visits were no longer just for coffee; They were about Y/N. Every day he anxiously waited to cross the doors of that coffee shop to see her smile, hear her voice even for a short time and touch her hand when he grabbed his coffee.

Andrew discovered that Y/N had a passion for photography and art, a hobby she pursued outside of her job at the café. In the other hand, he had confessed her that they shared the same hobbies and that he had the privilege of working on something similar.

One morning, he decided it would be that day or he would chicken out again, so Andrew mustered up the courage to ask Y/N out on a date.

''Here you go'' she said handing over his coffee with the little note she always left in his cup.

''T-thanks y/n'' he smiled, taking his coffee and walking away from the counter, but in less than 2 minutes he returned.

She was a little surprised to see him again, had she missed something in his order?

Andrew looked into Y/N's eyes and in a nervous voice asked her what he had wanted to ask her for the last two weeks.

''Y/N, you are an amazing girl and I really really like you, could I have the honor of taking you on a date?''

Y/N's eyes widened with surprise, but a warm smile spread across her face. "I would love to, Andrew," she replied.

He smiled, relieved and excited. "However, there is one thing I want to mention," he added, a hint of apprehension in his voice. "I am in the public eye and sometimes people can recognize us. There may be times when someone wants to take photographs and I would like you to know that and keep that in mind, privacy is really not something I can have 100% and if you don't feel comfortable, I would understand that you would reject the date."

Y/N nodded understandingly. "Andrew, I don't care at all. I like you for who you are, not just the actor that people know. I may not get used to it at first but I don't want that to stop me from being able to date the amaizing guy I have infront of me. Let's enjoy our time together, and if photos come our way, we'll handle it together."

With those words, any lingering tension melted away. The couple went later on a lovely date, exploring the city, sharing laughter, and taking funny photos of each other. Y/N's genuine affection for Andrew was evident and her calming presence assured him that their connection was real.

As their relationship deepened, they faced the challenges of public scrutiny together. Y/N's support and understanding made Andrew appreciate her moments even more. Through the ups and downs, they stood by each other, a testament to the power of love that transcends fame and ordinary life.

Having started a relationship did not mean the end of his little ritual before starting his day. Every morning without fail, Andrew continued to go for his daily coffee to the small cafe where Y/N continue working.

And she would receive him with a kiss and his special order along with her little note on his cup.

[seat-safety-switch]

There's lots of perks to working at the ol' Pick-and-Pull, my favourite self-service junkyard of all. They won't let me get a job there, partially because I'm technically "legally barred from entry by release conditions." And also because my attorney has worked out a long-term disability deal that will evaporate if anyone sees me thinking about employment anywhere other than Long John Silver's, but that's neither here nor there. It's a pity, too, because the benefits afforded to the junkyard elite are choice.

For starters, you get your pick of the junk left inside cars when they're scrapped. Pocket change? Trendy travel mugs? Radar detectors? Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, friend. For whatever reason, cash-strapped folks desperately attempting to unload their last semi-durable asset often leave the detritus of their life within the confines of the vehicle, and all that cool stuff can be yours. Of course, you also get things like "hissing, vicious rodents" and the occasional biohazard, but that only serves to make the highs that much sweeter.

Not convinced? You looked like you drove a hard bargain when you walked in here. I respect that. Most folks hear "free Garfield window clings" and they're totally sold, but not you. Rare these days to have such a killer in my office for a negotiation such as this. Okay, how's this sound? You get to get on a first name basis with Raul, the taco truck operator.

Yes, I know that Marcel is his real name, but the public health nurse said that we shouldn't deliberately try to tell him. It will only force him further into his shell. Speaking of shells, he makes some bomb-ass barbacoa. Perhaps you've tried it? It's the perfect thing after a day of wrenching, or, in the case of the proud employees of the Pickin' and Pullin' Patrol, a day of data entry and trying to fend off douchebags pretending that a turbocharger ($50) is actually an alternator ($35.) And Marce- Raul - will cut you a good deal on whatever fell into the fryer. You'll take home more cash, and a full belly.

All this is not to mention the health benefit of working in the fresh outdoors, whenever you want. Sure, those outdoors are full of atmospheric hydrocarbons and whatever aerosolized microplastics are coming off the seat grinder, but office workers would give anything to get a chance at a crisp December morning like you'll be enjoying while desperately tourniquetting a suburban father-of-three who made a very bad choice about which muffler to cut.

Come on down to the Pick 'N' Pull employment office, and don't tell them I sent you. Long John Silver's has spies everywhere. A simple wink, nudge, and yawn-point to me wandering the yard will be enough to get my referral bonus.

[geekgirl750]

Random details I noticed in Scream after watching it for the umpteenth time.

First:

Stu has a dog?!

In the final confrontation scene in the kitchen before Stu brings out Sidney's dad I noticed that there was a note written on the white board behind him

Here it is in more detail, although the quality isn't the best as I had to screenshot the scene from YouTube:

When I paused to read it in the actual film I was able to make out most of the note except for the small writing in the upper right (Which I think is either a phone number or date) but I'm pretty sure the note reads:

"Hi Stu, Sorry we missed you today. We'll be back Sunday. Be good! Love mom & dad. P.S. feed the dog."

The last line I wasn't sure about because it was blurry but I matched the note from this shot to the shot where Stu is sitting at the desk on the telephone and sure enough the last line is "P.S. Feed the dog"

So basically, Stu canonically has a dog which I think is super funny because it makes me wonder where the dog was during the party and what type of dog it is.

It also makes more sense for the dog door in the garage that Tatum tries to crawl through to be put there for the Macher's family dog rather than the cat.

Side tangent head cannons:

The orange cat we see run out before Tatum is killed in the garage belongs to Stu's sister Leslie and has a basic name like Marmalade or Garfield

Stu is 100% a dog person and hates his sister's cat because its tried to scratch him on a number of occasions and now he's lowkey afraid of it

That's why when he's left home alone he doesn't really watch the cat and lets it do as it pleases. (His sister is adamant that the cat is indoor only but Stu is kinda careless lets the cat roam free outside through the dog door)

The Macher's family dog is either a basic crusty ass white dog that belongs to his mom and has a ridiculously fancy name like Princess or Dutchess

Or the dog is something small and hyperactive like a Jack Russell that Stu used to play fetch with and run around with in the backyard as a kid

Like I said before I feel like the Machers aren't super creative with naming their pets. If the dog is a boy his name is probably Max or something like that.

Okay second thing:

I never noticed this but you can see Randy dancing with/ flirting with a girl at the party when Sid and Tatum first walk in

And then later that girl is being led away by a different guy so I guess Randy struck out twice that night lol

(Also peep Stu and Tatum flirting/ kissing in the lower left)

Thirdly:

In the garage scene after Ghostface first cuts Tatum's arm she stumbles backwards and bangs into a bike

This is more of a head canon than anything but I noticed that the bike is more feminine in coloring (shades of red and purple) so it makes me wonder if it belongs to Stu's mom or maybe his sister.

Lastly,

The layout of Stu's house makes no sense!

So I'm going to make another longer post about this because I spent like an hour last night comparing shots from Scream 1996 to shots from Scream 5 to get an understanding of the Macher house because it's almost labyrinthian in it's layout, especially the upstairs, but I'm pretty sure there's no way that house has 3 bedrooms if Stu's sister is supposed to be canon.

Anyways, here are a couple details I noticed that I thought were interesting:

I think the house has an intercom system! You can seen what looks like speaker/receiver on the wall behind the lamp in Stu's room as Sidney runs by it.

Lastly,

The Macher house has a back stairwell!!!

So I've watched this movie a bunch of times and I always thought that there was a door in the kitchen that led directly to the garage but that's NOT TRUE!

When Tatum goes to get the beer for Stu you can see that the kitchen is connected to the dining room and off the dining room is a door that leads into a laundry room/ mud room.

To Tatum's right you can see what looks like an ironing board and then a set of railings/steps which I'm assuming is a back set of stairs that leads to the upper floor.

You can see again in the reverse shot that the door that gets locked behind Tatum isn't actually the kitchen door but the door to the laundry room in between the garage and the kitchen .

Seeing this changed my whole perception of Tatum's death scene because I was always like how did no one see Ghostface sneaking around the party, whether it was Billy or Stu, and not realize when he goes back inside after killing Tatum rather than leaving through the garage. Now I think it's because whoever was Ghostface never actually cut through the party at all.

HE WENT UP THE BACK STAIRS!

And the layout of the laundry room would have hidden him from view of the kitchen as he would have behind the wall and out of sight.

I want to go more into detail about the logistics about how I think Billy and Stu got around the house as Ghostface as well as the entire layout of the house in a second post because I think the set design is so interesting but for now these are just some cool things I noticed that I wanted to share.