#is extremely funny to me
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originalartblog · 1 year ago
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[Storm Bringer]
“In fact, I was against using Adam for such a frivolous investigation from the very start,” Dr. Wollstonecraft began in a huff as she crossed her arms again. “The government is always like this. They send a mechanical detective, then blow him up once they’re done to keep any secret information from getting out. [..] I suppose this is the government’s way of saying we ought to neglect science in favor of human life!”
Dr. Wollstonecraft, ma'am, I think your ethically-dubious opinions on science are better saved for other audiences.
Dr. Wollstonecraft (aka Mary Shelley) based on @videogamelover99's design!
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llycaons · 2 years ago
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the funniest thing about that poll was how utena/anthy trounced sasunaru and because of the difference in popularity for the two ships, op hypothesized that sns fans were abstaining out of respect for iconic lesbianism
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butchfalin · 1 year ago
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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lotus-pear · 4 months ago
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charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️
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wardingshout · 28 days ago
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ALTTP december warm ups and doodling (and one from today, happy new year)
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egophiliac · 4 months ago
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should've just let Vil be the one to fly, it would've gone SO much easier. 😔
also HEY how are everyone else's pulls going, because I have had the most RIDICULOUS luck, seriously, halloween magic is 100% real
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mourn-and-watch · 19 days ago
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been getting into rookanis lately
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dykekarkat · 22 days ago
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neil winning the idgaf war is so embarrassing for andrew actually...spent years convincing everyone he was the biggest idgafer around only for a ginger freak to absolutely upstage him in less than a year AND he gets a crush on him??? probably doodling stupid ass AM+NJ hearts during his lectures like a loser...
this is not to say neil wasnt also being a loser with a crush he was just not gafing at the same level mr nonchalant "hey i should probably warn him that im in love with him but i got a serial killer dad after me rn"
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camembri · 1 year ago
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you wanted zoro to be on whole cake island to fulfil your weird desire to see zoro punish sanji. I wanted zoro on whole cake island because I think he's stupid enough to right place wrong time the plan and accidentally marry Sanji in full view of the whole wedding party in what becomes the most elaborately constructed comedy of errors ever written. we are NOT the same.
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gongyussy · 10 months ago
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you think YOU had a bad day at work?
bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera
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kc5rings · 6 months ago
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Just as the Prophecy foretold
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pinbones · 2 months ago
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I've seen a few posts about women and pants now and many of them are very good, and not to nitpick those posts or downplay religious sexism or anything, but I have to emphasise:
Somebody who DOESN'T live in a controlling religious country/cult/family is also affected by sexism. We all know that, right? Secular parts of the first world also have opinions about how women dress, including when it comes to trousers, especially in childhood and in institutions like schools and the workplace
Me and many people my age (20s) remember being forced into skirts, punished and shamed by parents & teachers & peers & possibly then bosses about what we wear not being feminine enough, and it wasn't by deeply religious sects. Many updates to dress codes are very new and sexist views are still in place in many institutions. Normalised societal misogyny wants women (and people they want to treat as women) to dress femininely, down to what KIND of pants they're allowed to wear (compare a pink top and jeggings to mens jeans and tell me these two women are treated the same. Hating women in pantsuits is still a sexist office joke today, and even those outfits are feminine compared to male suits, which raise eyebrows when worn by women). The women I know who wear trousers regularly are literally otherwise feminine, and all wear dresses to events.
I know trousers have become much more normalised over the past few decades in secular society (yay!! the result of many many years of effort and lawbreaking) but let's not be absolute when we talk about the pants concept lol. Especially within a larger conversation about female/transmasc/intersex/transfem masculinity and social perceptions, especially in an age of rising fascism
#you know. misogyny?#transandrophobia#you're telling me only muslims and christians experience pants based sexism. in front of my salad?#i did not have screaming arguments with my nonbeliever non church attendee parents in the 2000s to have you lot --#sexism is Not strange or rare or fringe#pretend me wearing pants from then on was societally allowed. i got a talking to at school about pants.#i was scared i would have to wear a skirt at high school in the 2010s. thankfully the one i went to was more progressive#getting clocked as the only 'girl' in class wearing trousers without at leasts wearing a skirt over it#having older female AND male relatives pick up on the lack of a skirt/dress at events#yes some people think it's normal. and some people think being gay is normal. and some people dgaf if you're foreign or whatev#but existing some ways means you have certain experiences and there are certain risks hanging over you lol#just making this post bc some of you live in some extremely progressive USA city and have forgotten normal people exist /lighthearted#mum still shows me a polka dot dress i used to wear as a baby and asks me why i don't wear dresses. some dumb dress shes kept for 20 years#she wears trousers and dungarees sometimes. but that's the thing#pants are a temporary allowance. if that's all you wear then they hate that. you have to be Feminine when they demand#your wardrobe still carries sexist necessities before people start to look at you funny#if i went to an event like a wedding in a suit people would talk (closeted to most ppl irl)#anyway.#sending telepathic strength to anyone surrounded by so called progressives who have opinions on how they dress 👉👁️👁️👈
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keferon · 13 days ago
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Part 2 of Jazz and Prowl in space!
Gonna start calling it Odds of Survival.
Prowl loves entrusting his life to reckless strangers.
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Prowl pulled the release to the airlock and the music was swallowed by the vacuum of space.
Bursting forward, Jazz launched outwards riding the pop of escaping air. The first quintesson had its eye socket repurposed as an ankle bracelet before the second measure even began.
Ah.
Prowl probably should have specified he wanted to try speeding past rather than confront their opponents directly.
Jazz's improvised footwear writhed sluggishly before the mech twisted his ped inside its brain case, finishing it off and turning to face the next nearest opponent.
Odds of survival 26%
The white and blue mech launched himself upwards as the nearest quintesson went for a dive bomb. It's teeth breaking on impact with the sky bridge. Jazz twisted in midair.
They fell in slow motion, back arching against a starlit backdrop. An upside down visor met blue optics. Jazz nodded his head to the side, flicking one horn up and one horn down.
Did he just wink? (#^%)
The falling mech unsheathed a blade from his wrist, driving it through the sputtering quintesson.
Oh Primus has he been flirting the entire time?
Jazz spun, slicing into the next quint to close the distance.
I can not. I can not assume that was intentional. It has to be a cultural miscommunication.
The last two quintessons pounced. Swinging hard, Jazz caught one's jaws with a forearm while he kicked the downed another in the side of the head. The third was attempting to bite into his back but the teeth couldn't get a full purchase on the rounded compact plating.
Odds of survival 22%.
Prowl snapped out of his social etiquette downward spiral. Sprinting from the safety of the airlock door, he knelt behind a large section of external piping, lining up his shots.
Tacnet spun to work.
It was designed to calculate hundreds of possible variations of large scale engagements, including the number of soldiers, type of weaponry available and could even determine the approximate number of ammunitions that would be left over, provided Prowl had enough data at his disposal.
Calculating the marksmanship needed to dispatch three hostiles at medium range while distracted by a highly competent ally?
Odds of Survival 32%
Laughable.
Three shots burst through the thin atmosphere.
Quintesson wreckers were built thick skulled and stubborn. Luckily they came with easily identifiable gaps in their organic construction.
The Quints fell from Jazz, each with a smoking hole where and eye used to be. Jazz looked at Prowl, then the smoking quintessons and back up to Prowl before doing finger guns again.
Speaking of thick skulled and stubborn.
Prowl put on his best Commanders Scowl and pointed in the direction they needed to be currently running in.
Doorwing sensors hiked as he picked up on movement from behind. The incoming hostiles was palpable even in the moons thin atmosphere. Quintessons rarely favored stealth.
Prowl began running.
Jazz kept pace, half turned around to keep track of the incoming troop. Prowl kept his optics locked forward, not remotely willing to risk tripping on the torn apart path.
Tacnet locked on to a large silvery pillow that'd been exposed to the atmosphere.
Expanding LLX Lithium battery. Explosion on contact 90%
Prowl shouted a warning but the air was too thin to carry beyond his own audials.
Jazz will step on the lithium battery in 1.5 clicks (88%) and will be critically injured in at least one leg (76%).
Prowl grabbed Jazz's servo and yanked.
Music erupted in the moment of connection.
Vibrations ran up his arm and across his frame. Inside his audials, Prowl could make out the song Jazz had begun in the airlock. Looking at his visor, mouth agape, only one thought could form in Prowls mind.
How fragging loud is he playing that music?!?
Jazz perked up, and pulled Prowl around in an arc. Multiple sharp impacts thudded into the ground behind him. Prowl turned and almost wished he hadn’t.
Three heavily armored Quintesson bombers equipped with bio-mechanical ballista.
The javelin like spikes were as long as Prowls arm and designed to pin targets in place while the slow moving blimp-like body of the bomber got into position to blow them all to the Pit.
Prowl tugged Jazz in the direction of their objective, refusing to let go in case he tried to launch himself at the bombers. Prowl wasn't sure how Jazz would manage to do so, but Prowl felt an overwhelming nagging sensation in his tanks that he'd fragging try.
Jazz was evidently fine with this arrangement.
As the music pulsed between their palms, Jazz leapt at a diagonal, pulling Prowl along for the ride. The low gravity was so damn floaty. It continually forced Prowl to readjust his footing so he wasn't frantically treading air every time his peds left the ground.
Jazz was evidently fine with that too.
Another round of ammunitions impacted where the two of them had been running.
Their egress began to take on a pattern Prowl was quick to pick up on. It took the bombers 8 clicks to reload, launching at the same time, half a click after musical flair in Jazz's song. At the moment of the flair, the mech would launch them in a nearly unpredictable pattern. After the first two times of nearly getting his arm dislocated, Prowl began catching onto these moments and moved his momentum in sync with Jazz.
They'd started dancing.
The Tactician had an iron fisted focus on matching Jazz’s frankly eradicate lead. The longer the duet continued, the more data he had to work with. Prowl steadily progressed from Reacting to Anticipating. Feeling a core deep satisfaction that came from sinking into mastering a new skill.
By the time they’d escaped the bombers range, they’d made it too the base of the first hurdle.
Their reprieve would only be brief. The bombers would catch up in approximately 50 clicks (88%), giving the mechs a small window of precious semi-safety in which they needed to scale the wall before them.
Prowl craned his helm back at the barrier.
He would not be able to scale it on his own in time (95%).
Could Jazz? (65%)
While carrying him? (19%)
Jazz rapidly tapped his side.
The alien was crouched low, impossible legs bent with potential energy. He tapped his own back, gesturing for Prowl to grab on already.
Prowl threw himself over the mechs broad back. His digits frantically searched for a hand hold, flinching away from nearly digging into fragile vents.
I can’t-
Jazz leapt.
“You’re really grab-able - Isn’t that kinda stupid?”
Stupid stupid stupid.
Prowl skated off of Jazz’s rounded compact plating, that he specifically SAID was supposed to make him hard to hold on to.
He landed hard on his aft, denta clanking together painfully.
47 clicks remaining.
Jazz hit the ground beside him before Prowl had fully gotten back up. Now facing him, Jazz grabbed Prowl by both wrists and pulled him chassis to chassis. Jazz positioned his arms to link Prowls servos behind his helm, then set his own servos tightly onto Prowls waist.
Jazz nodded once, like he was satisfied with what he’d just done.
Prowl made a facial expression that a psychiatrist would find concerning.
42 Clicks.
Jazz nodded again, like expected Prowl to respond in any coherent manner, and lifted.
Prowls legs swung forward on instinct. Following the motion, Jazz wrapped them around his waist. Through the screaming haze of his processor, Prowl had the presence of mind to lock his ankles together as he realized Jazz’s true intentions, and manually aborted the logic cascade that had nearly crashed over him.
Package secured, Jazz let go and started their ascension.
Legs bent at an impossible angle to slam multi segmented peds flat against the metal walls. Despite Prowl’s body blocking most of his view, the alien mech was unfettered by the lack of vision. Jazz hardly bothered with proper hand holds, instead opting for incredibly strong magnetic grip built into his servos.
The magnetic backwash splashed over Prowls doors wings, forcing him to temporarily offline them or risk crippling vertigo. The structure they were scaling shook violently like something large had just irrevocably broken.
This is fine this is fine this is fine this is fine.
At 35 click’s remaining, Prowl centered himself enough to search for their pursuers.
Damn it!
The bombers were a fraction faster than he initially calculated. Six clicks before we’re in range (87%). Luckily, Jazz was more than a fraction faster than initially calculated as well. At this rate, they’d reach the top simultaneously.
No reason not to be proactive.
Prowl found that if he tightly cupped one servo around the back of Jazz’s helm, he had just enough leverage to bring out a side arm. After all, the bombers were already in range of him.
Steadying his elbow over the other mechs shoulder, Prowl took aim.
Five clicks.
The bombers flew in V formation.
Four clicks.
Too heavily armored for a standard sidearm to pierce.
Three clicks.
The lead bomber opened up its front in preparation for combat.
Got you.
Prowl threaded the gap, his shot skirting over the ballista in favor of impacting the bombers prodigious cargo. He watched something spark inside a split second before it succumbed to total annihilation.
The shockwave felt like a single soft papft of a breeze in the starlit air.
Jazz hefted them over the top of the wall, not dropping Prowl in favor of sprinting with him at full speed across the top of the hurdle.
One of his arms curled around to support Prowls back, allowing the Praxian to release his death grip on their helm. Prowl leaned back into the hold, allowing Jazz freedom to see again.
Jazz turned his helm around 180 degrees-
Did not know he could do that did not know he could do that.
- to look at the fire works behind them.
Jazz whistled appreciatively at the sight. He turned back to Prowl, visor locked onto his face as they carried him across the roof.
Reverberating music, nearly crashing, numbed doorwings, and a deeply satisfying kill all followed by a display of casual body horror was making Prowl just a little bit delirious. As a result, Prowl wasn’t entirely sure what expression he was making, just that Jazz was inordinately fascinated with it.
Without looking away, Jazz leapt off the end of the roof.
Prowl watched as Jazz glanced over his shoulder and back to him.
Do a double take.
And then crush Prowl to his chassis.
Jazz’s visor was over bright, both horns snapped completely forward and from somewhere inside his chassis, Prowl could feel some internal component spinning into overdrive, sounding for all the world like teeny tiny screaming.
Why are we still falling.
Prowl turned as far as possible in Jazz’s iron grip.
The sky bridge was collapsing.
Odds of Survival 4%
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Jazz, everytime Prowl one-shots an enemy: I need to get his number.
If you’re curious, the song Jazz is playing can be whatever you like. Personally I kept switching between listening to “I Was Made For Lovin’ You” by Kiss and “I Feel Love” 12” version by Donna Summer while writing.
- SSTP
OH GOD AHAHJFKFK THIS IS SO FUCKING GREAT HELP
And the concept of music playing between them??? I'm s o l d. "I was made for lovin' you baby" is basically JP OST for me at this point ehehhmgmgm
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Jazz: Hookay I need to transport the machinery from the point A to point B. Focus! Let's go!
Prowl: One of those tiktok videos where you can see some Reddit post and hear AI narrating it while Minecraft parkour is playing on the background. Except it's gay panic instead of reddit post and internal screaming instead of narration and even more gay panic instead of minecraft. ......and everything is overheating probably lmao
Also can you really call it a JP fic if their odds of survival never dropped lower than 10% according to Prowls brain? Ahahjgkgk all amazing JP fics have to do this. It's inevitable and I love it so much~~
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protagpigeon · 3 months ago
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so I challenged myself to catching the fieldlands alpha luxio before finishing rei's tutorial in my current pla playthrough. buckle in rei, every day's going to be a new wacky adventure with akari around
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art-newt · 15 days ago
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Harry du Bois and his maybe supernatural bullshit
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feltcreature · 8 months ago
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do do dodo do :o)
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