#is actually any better than placebo

[polymoth]

Oooh I want to pick a fight with someone spreading some psuedoscience garbage in the neurodiversity channel of a server I'm in but I also really shouldn't rock the boat

[heavenangelly]

I feel like people are constantly trying to find ways to make the law seem fake. Telling people you’re being delusional, that it’s just a placebo effect, that it’s not real, that it can’t happen, etc. Is it so hard to believe that there is a power within you that can make your life marvellous? That can make you free? That anything you ever desire, can become true instantly? That you’d never have to struggle again? Doesn’t it sound amazing? Because it’s way better than believing any of those limiting beliefs. You have a way OUT with the law. Why do you want to believe otherwise?

All that you’ll ever have to do to “get” your desire is to be the person that already has it / is it. Since you are now that person, it is an assumption. And since the law is literally called, the LAW of ASSUMPTION, that’s all you’ll ever have to do. It’s so fucking simple. And the LAW will never change. It’s been around since humans (possible animals) existed. The only difference is that humans have now become aware. That people (Neville, Abdullah, Edward, bloggers, etc) have started preaching and showing people the truth of life and the power you hold within you.

STOP trying to find ways to prove to yourself that the law is fake. What you seek, you shall find. And in your seeking, you manifest what you’re seeking, so you’ve already lost.

You are always manifesting. Throughout your whole life you have manifested things, consciously or unconsciously (excluding trauma and things you didn’t know about). You have always been a master manifester. You have always chosen to believe/assume things. And it has ALWAYS been reflected. The law never fails.

Actually PRACTICE (consciously) the law and you will see what I mean. Go on your journey and explore your unlimited power. Understand who you are, how to manifest, and why the 3d doesn’t matter. Then, you will be destined to succeed.

And please, stop letting other peoples beliefs become your own. They’re irrelevant and do not matter in your world. You create; so only YOU matter. Become confident in who you are and what you believe in and these measly, insecure, desperate people will fade away. Become confident in the law by applying it. You are God. Wake up.

Another note is, is that none of these bloggers gaf about TikTok’s or some random npc’s beliefs because they have practiced the law and have SEEN their world MELT before their eyes to accommodate them. They know it, they’ve seen it, they believe it. They have no reason to doubt. None of us would lie for shits and giggles.

Do not let the world sway you from your power.

Xoxo,

Heavenangelly.

[probablyasocialecologist]

The methodology for the Cass review was established by a team from the University of York including Tilly Langdon, who has previously been involved in promoting Gender Exploratory Therapy – an approach which, despite its neutral-sounding name, discourages children from identifying as trans and has been likened to conversion therapy. Her approach included setting a very high bar for evidence to be considered in the review, ruling out 100 of the existing 103 studies into the use of puberty blockers and hormones to treat trans children. The reason given for excluding all these studies was that they did not incorporate a double blind approach – in other words, they did not involve giving puberty blockers to some patients and placebos to others. This might sound like a reasonable objection on the face of it – until one considers that puberty is a dramatic physical and psychological process, and people can easily tell when it’s happening to them, so a double blind simply wouldn’t work in practice. The Cass review called for more research and, again, few would disagree with this. The suggestion that treatment should be withheld in the process, however, is not neutral. It presupposes that the harm done by puberty blockers (demineralisation of bones, which is usually temporary in the short-term treatment recommended and is similar to what occurs in pregnancy) is more severe than the harm done to a trans child by going through the wrong sort of puberty. The latter is linked to high rates of self-harm and suicidal ideation, together with the need, in many cases, for extensive surgical procedures. Confusingly, the review states that children taking puberty blockers showed “no changes in gender dysphoria or body satisfaction”, which suggests that the author didn’t actually understand what puberty blockers do at all. They don’t make children feel better – they just delay a process that makes them feel worse. This is one of several oddities in a report that lacks internal consistency. It states that there is no established definition of social transition, for instance, and does not offer one, but goes on to talk about it as if there were. It also talks about autistic ‘girls’ identifying as trans in increasing numbers, treating this as mysterious and as cause for concern, despite acknowledging elsewhere that more and more girls are being diagnosed as autistic, so one would expect more diagnoses to be present within any subsection of the young female-assigned population.  Perhaps the most worrying of the review’s conclusions – which should concern people far beyond the trans community – is the suggestion that as far as NHS treatment is concerned, trans people should be treated as children until they are 25. The rational for this is that 25 is the age when (on average) the brain stops developing. As any neurologist will tell you, the brain is in fact never static, and within ten years or so of that age, it begins to shrink. Deciding who has the capacity to make decisions based on brain age could have unintended consequences for the likes of Cass (64).  That aside, what would setting the age of true adulthood at 25 mean for everybody else? If we couldn’t allow people to consent to medical treatment at 24, should we ask them to risk dying for us? If not, then at a stroke we could lose a quarter of our armed forces. Likewise, we would have to give serious thought to what to do about a third of parents who might not be considered competent to look after their newborn children.  And then there are issues like contraception. Right-wingers have long contended, on one pretext or another, that teenage girls shouldn’t have the right to take the pill without their parents’ consent. This is where the review’s suggestion starts to look less like a double standard and more like the thin end of a very nasty wedge.

[mymoodwriting]

Because You're Mine

Female!Reader x Werewolf!SKZ

Genre: A/B/O

Warning: Suppressants, Numbness, Social Event, Reunions, Jealousy, Nesting

Words: 3K

Chapter Nine

(Prev//Next) (@starillusion13 @salfetkablog @youngunknownwitch @loveforred @hydroyaksha @meowmeeps @azazel-nyx @luvyev @stellasays45 @littlebaby-bunbun @bangchansgirlsblog @puppyminnnie @bahablastplz @lemonn015 @blankperiodssn @stellasays45 @kkamismom12 @rxlvvrz)

Prompt: With omegas completely removed from society, they needed their own communities and institutions to grow. All your life you had lived and gone to school alongside your fellow omegas, and orphaned alphas. You had managed to keep yourself together, but now at the university level, keeping your secret had grown impossible. You had to face your fears and make friends with an alpha eventually, and now was the time.

“I don’t feel any different…”

You’ve been taking suppressants for a few days now, but there wasn’t really any change. You were starting to think Chan lied to you, that the supposed suppressants were some sort of placebo pill. So you brought it up to him, rather face the situation head on than just try to figure out what was going on. Your words made Chan chuckle, and you didn’t know what to make of it.

“The effects won’t happen right away. They’re gradual, and not feeling anything is kinda the goal.”

“Huh?”

“You’re going to be suppressing your nature, so your senses are gonna be numbed up. You certainly won’t feel things the same way you do now.”

“Oh…”

“Give it some more time, and see how you feel. You can always stop too, just let me know.”

“Alright.”

Another week goes by before things actually change, both for your physical state and your education. You were back in class now, although you were in new ones. In each of your classes you had one of the alphas with you, and sometimes either Jisung, Felix, or both, were there too. You honestly thought these co-ed classes would be very different, but they were similar to what you had been dealing with before. It kinda felt like normal, as if nothing really drastic had changed while you were gone.

You honestly had been dreading returning to class for fear of being bombarded with unwanted attention and questions, but you really didn’t get any of that. Your peers in the class were different, the atmosphere itself was not like before too. In these co-ed classes there was an air of seriousness that’s not entirely present in the omega classes. Thinking about it now, it made sense, the alphas here were serious, and such things would rub off on the omegas even if they didn’t realize. Besides not drawing much attention, the other alphas didn’t really let you socialize. They still had their own classes, so there wasn’t much time to mingle as they had to hand you off to your next classmate and be on their way.

Being surrounded by a lot of people once more, it certainly pushed you back towards Jisung and Felix. Communication with them had been practically non-existent lately, as you still felt hurt, but now with classes it felt natural to talk. At first it was mostly about assignments and a short exchange of words, but slowly you opened up to them again. Despite everything they were still your friends, and they understood you better than the alphas. Things were certainly getting back to normal for you and you didn’t really realize why until a particular night. You were alone in the living room, doing some late night studying. As far as you knew the others were asleep, but all of a sudden there was someone peeking over your shoulder.

“Whatcha working on?”

You screamed and moved away, very startled. Jeongin was quickly apologizing and backing away, not wanting to make matters worse.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Why did you sneak up on me!”

“I didn’t! I thought you heard me, or at least smelled me.”

“Well I didn’t!”

“Huh?”

“I… wait… I didn’t… how come I didn’t…”

Your screaming had of course woken the others, and soon enough you had half-asleep alphas and omegas piling into the living room.

“What happened!?” Changbin asked. “Is everyone okay!?”

“I’m fine.” Jeongin answered. “I just scared y/n, by accident.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t smell him.” You mumbled. “Or heard him…”

“That’s the suppressants.” Chan explained. “I told you your senses were going to get dull. I guess you haven’t realized until now. Even your own scent isn’t as prevalent. There’s not really any of it left in the dorm now.”

“Oh…”

“Since we’re all here, let’s make a note of this and be careful with y/n. You shouldn’t have been sneaking around anyway, Jeongin.”

“I wasn’t!”

“You’re okay though, right y/n?” Seungmin asked.

“Yeah, yeah, just caught off guard. You can all go back to bed.”

The boys slowly scattered, returning to their rooms, although Minho lingered for a while more. He noticed you were still processing what you had just learned.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Do you want to talk?”

“There’s not much to talk about. It’s the suppressants.”

“Yeah, but how do you feel?”

“Uh… well honestly… I feel kinda sick… but I’m not, right?”

“No. Using suppressants isn’t unheard of. It may be a bit unnatural, but it’s not a major detriment to your health. You’re fine.”

“I guess so.”

Minho didn’t leave until he was sure you’d be alright. You stayed with your own thoughts for a while longer before deciding to head to bed. You weren’t gonna get any work done after all this. You ended up lying in bed for a while before you actually managed to sleep. Come morning you realized there wasn’t much different about you, especially when compared to your last few days. You got out of bed and prepared for class like normal. As you stepped out of your room you found Felix at the dining table having breakfast. You noticed his sweater draped over the chair next to him and without asking you grabbed it and held it up to your nose. You took in a deep breath, but only got a faint whiff of Felix’s scent.

“What are you doing?”

“Testing something out… I really can’t pick up on your scent…”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. It’s very faint. No wonder Jeongin snuck up on me.”

Felix reached over and pulled you close, grabbing a piece of shirt and smelling it. After a moment he shook his head.

“I smell more laundry detergent than you.”

“Huh. You’re okay though right, you’re not sick.”

“I’m perfectly fine.” Felix assured. “Guess you’re like a ninja now too. You could easily sneak up on us if you wanted to.”

“Yeah… like I’m invisible…”

That revelation began to explain the lack of attention on you. Sure, in   classes a bunch of scents mingled but yours practically didn’t exist. There wasn’t anything appealing about you, so your peers left you alone. Some might expect you to be a bit sad over this, but you were actually quite pleased. In a way, you didn’t have to worry about everyone else. You could just exist among them in peace. It also explained why you had been a lot more at ease in the dorm and classes. You couldn’t pick up on all the scents of the alphas around you, so naturally you weren’t tense or afraid. You were okay.

Of course this all had a side effect of feeling a bit numb and broken, but you’d take it for helping you just get through your days. Although on occasion you’d find yourself staring out into the woods. You still wanted to know what was out there, especially now since you considered yourself to be stable. Yet you knew that running away was impossible, so it was nothing but a dream, one that was slowly fading away. You focused on just making the most of your days and enjoying your classes. Things seemed so mundane and normal until one day after class you were handed a flier for a party.

You were confused since there weren’t any co-ed dorms, and this party was open to all. Upon further examination you could see this party was hosted by the student board and was meant to be an end of the semester-type celebration. You didn’t think too much of it, big social events like that certainly weren’t for you. So for the time being you just stuffed the flier in your bag and went about your day. When you returned to the dorm later you set your things out in the living room, the flier just sticking out of your bag. You thought nothing of it until Chan came over, wanting to see what you were working on when the flier caught his attention.

“Oh, the end of the semester unwind.”

“Huh?”

“The party.” Chan showed you the flier. “You want to go?”

“Oh, that, you know a party isn’t really my thing.”

“It would be a good experience though. Not many get to go to party, so it’s cool the school board is hosting one. You wouldn’t have to worry about scents either.”

“True…”

“I heard party!” Jisung came over and took the flier from Chan. “This is awesome! We totally have to go as a pack!”

“A pack?”

“Oh, right, I meant as a dorm. It could be a great bonding experience for all of us!”

“I don’t know…”

“We should.” Felix chimed in, having overheard the convo. “It would be a lot of fun.”

“Hm…”

“Please.”

“Pretty please.” Jisung added. “It’ll be a good time.”

“Fine, but when I want to leave I will.”

“That works.”

The others in the dorm were eventually told about the party and that we would all be going together. It was nothing fancy, so you just needed to dress casually and comfortably. The boys seemed excited for the night, but you were a bit nervous. You’ve never really been to a party before. At least you didn’t have to worry about all the scents overwhelming you, or you hoped that would be the case.

“Hyunjin…”

“Hm?”

“How is it that a party like this is even allowed…?”

“It’s for the social aspect. We’re all still gonna be close or at least around each other after graduation, we should know each other better. Besides, we all need a break from classes.”

“Yeah…”

“You know you don’t have to go, if you really don’t want to.”

“I know, but I should experience this at least once.”

When you arrived at the party area you could see it had been decorated and the music playing gave it a lively atmosphere. You were nervous at first glance but once inside you could relax a bit. The scents didn’t hit you strongly and they were all mixed together you couldn’t really identify a single one. It put you at ease, and you stuck near the alphas for the most part. That was the plan as they’d know better than you what to do in such a place, but there were a lot of people and before you knew it you were lost in the crowd and separated from them. You stood  by yourself, surrounded by strangers, unsure of what to do.

“Y/n!”

You heard your name being called but you couldn’t recognize the voice. Still, you looked around for the source, not seeing anyone familiar. Although soon enough you found a boy standing before you.

“Hey.”

The boy had a simple smile on his face, happiness reflected in his eyes. You didn’t really recognize him, and he seemed to notice. Yet that did nothing to sour his mood.

“I guess it has been a while. I’m Gunil.”

“Gunil… from high school…”

“Yup. Long time not see.”

You were rather stunned by the revelation, needing a moment to process. Gunil was the alpha who had a crush on you back in high school. The year after the incident he was moved to a different class and you didn’t see him anymore, and he never approached you either. It was the least of your worries back then, and it made things easier for you in hindsight. You honestly couldn’t believe he was standing before you, and you weren’t sure how to feel.

“You… you remember me…”

“I’d never forget such a beautiful face. Let’s go talk somewhere less nosy.”

Before you could answer, Gunil took your hand and led you away from the main party. You didn’t go too far, just finding a less crowded place to talk.

“It’s really good to see you. I didn’t think I’d run into you like this.”

“The feeling is mutual…”

“Yeah. Can’t believe it’s been so many years. I should probably apologize for being such a bother to you back then. Although I was really smitten by you, still, sorry.”

“… you were polite…”

“I’m glad I wasn’t so annoying, but I have to say you’re still the prettiest omega I know.”

“… Gunil…”

Even if you felt a bit awkward, his compliments were making you shy. He noticed and tried to not make things weirder, asking if you wanted to get some drinks. You agreed and the two of you went to the drink table. You didn’t want to drink any alcohol, so you found some soda, and he got the same.

“So… uh… how have you been?”

“Good, I guess. My classes aren’t difficult.”

“Are you in co-ed or omegas only?”

“Co-ed… I get to learn more that way. What about you, what have you been up to?”

“The normal stuff for alphas, classes and training. I think I’m doing well, one of the top in my classes.”

“You always were.”

“I guess some things never change.”

“Yeah…”

“Y/n! There you are!”

You heard your name and were then yanked away from Gunil. You quickly found yourself face to face with Seungmin.

“We’ve all been so worried since you just disappeared.”

“I’m fine…”

“Yeah, I can see.” Seungmin’s gaze turned to the other. “Is he bothering you?”

“Huh? Gunil, no, he’s just an old… friend…”

“Friend? Okay, well it’s time to go.”

“What?”

Seungmin just started pulling you along, but you only moved a few steps before Gunil grabbed your other arm to hold you back.

“Wait. We should catch up sometime.” Gunil put his drink down and quickly got out a pen, writing a number on your hand. “Text me.”

“Uh… yeah, sure.”

You heard a low growl from Seungmin before he pulled Gunil’s hand off you and then led you away. For a moment you thought he’d take you back to the others, but he meant it when he said it was time to go. You left the party and made your way back to the dorm. It was just the two of you there.

“You know… you really didn’t have to do that.” You told Seungmin. “I was fine… which is also a bit surprising to me.”

“Is it?”

“Well, I wasn’t really scared… and the scents weren’t so strong that they’d affect me.”

“So you had no problem chatting up some random alpha.”

“He approached me, helped me out cause I was alone and lost. You didn’t have to drag me out.”

“… sorry… I got in my own head thinking you needed a rescue and weren’t comfortable…”

“It’s whatever. I’m tired anyway, so I’m gonna head to bed.”

“Sure. Let me know if you need anything.”

“I know.”

You retreated to your room, throwing yourself on your bed. You simply laid there for a moment before looking at your palm, seeing the number on it. Without realizing it you smiled, amused at how that whole interaction went down. You put the number down in your phone before getting up to wash it off and clean yourself up. After a shower you were dressed in pajamas and drying your hair as Jisung and Felix came in. They threw themselves on your bed, and going by the smiles on their faces, they likely had a few drinks.

“I see you had a good night.”

“Absolutely.” Jisung giggled. “You shouldn’t have left so early.”

“It was fine.”

“Sorry we lost you.” Felix added. “We were looking for you until Seungmin told us he found you and took you home.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad the rest of you had fun.”

“Let’s all sleep together.” Jisung suggested. “I wanna sleep in a cuddle pile. Omegas only of course.”

“I don’t know.”

“Please, pretty please, we’d be so warm and cozy together.”

“Okay, okay, but you two gotta clean up first.”

“Yes! We can make a nest together!”

The two stuck around for a moment longer before going off to clean up. You figured you’d get a head start with the nest, getting some pillows and blankets and setting things up in the living room. A while later the boys came to join you, bringing along some more blankets and pillows. A few of the alphas noticed what you were up to, but let you do your own thing. They wished you good night as they went to bed. You guys got some snacks and turned the TV on, watching a show. This was more your thing than some big party. You all slowly drifted off, one by one, the TV acting as white noise. You all slept peacefully, you wound up waking up late into the night, hearing whimpers.

“Hm… Jisung…?”

You lazily opened your eyes, seeing Jisung at your side tossing about. He seemed to be panting a bit, showing signs of discomfort. You got up and shook him gently, trying to get him to wake up.

“Jisung… Jisung, get up…”

It wasn’t working, but you kept trying. Then your fingers brushed against exposed skin and you realized he was hot. You placed your palm against his head, realizing he was burning up. You quickly went over to Felix, shaking him awake almost immediately.

“… what…?”

“Go get the alphas, Jisung is running a fever.”

Felix was still half asleep as you ushered him to get up and go. You got back to Jisung, still trying to get him up. He opened his eyes for a moment, seeming to be out of it.

“… y/n…”

“Yeah, I’m right here. You’re gonna be-”

“Y/n, get away from him.”

You were suddenly pulled to your feet and pulled away from Jisung. You stared at Minho with confusion, but he didn’t say anything. He took you back to your room, and then you saw Felix being escorted by Changbin to your room as well.

“What’s going on? Jisung-”

“He’ll be okay.” Changbin said. “But I need you both to stay here tonight.”

“Huh?”

“Just promise me you’ll stay here. We’ll take care of Jisung, so don’t worry.”

“You’re making us worry.” Felix mumbled. “Isn’t it just a fever…?”

“Not exactly.”

Minho sighed. “Jisung is going into heat. Obviously your senses wouldn’t really know what’s going on, especially y/n since she’s on suppressants, but that doesn’t mean he can’t trigger either of you. One omega going into heat for the first time is gonna be a handful, so for all our sakes, just stay here until morning.”

“Oh…”

[thenonbinarydetective]

Do you like the official wayne family adventures? It has everything any batfam fan would want.....But sometimes I feel like they all kinda have the same personality.....shouldn't dick be with titans or starfire....why is he back with Bruce?

EDIT: REMINDER THIS IS MY OPINION. IT IS NOT A DISCUSSION OR ARGUMENT.

It’s what tumblr fanon fans who actively go out of their way to shit on comics wants. To be precise. I’ve been shitting on the behavior of some truly awful people on here for like several years so if anyone reading this is surprised and offended. I don’t care.

No I really don’t like it. The better personalities are the girls really. But even then it’s not great. The boys and Bruce especially are full copy and paste. But honestly that’s the only way they can get what they want to work without digging too deep

That’s kinda the main problem I have with it and many others who do that it’s very surface level fluff rather than actually challenging the “angst” in the comics. I’m only putting it in quotes because to some angst is when it isn’t sunshine and rainbows all the time.

I don’t think it has a good argument, for lack of a better word (still works I just want a different one that I can’t remember rn) for being what it is. And also creating that weirdly rancid, occasionally violent and pretentious fanbase that accuses comic fans of doing that no matter what they say or do. Like some people suck but you dont need essays when people point out flaws in WFA. Of which it has some pretty obvious ones. Aside from batfam characterization their Talia characterization just rubs me the wrong way. Like I know it’s been worse but it’s just not giving what it should.

I think dickbabs is supposed to be canon there or at least people act like it. Idk a lot of their reactions can still read platonic which is why WFA readers try to say it’s batcest. If that answers your starfire question. Technically this should be set at a time where dick wasn’t fully friends with the titans again. Although it’s an au, they could probably just fix that for their obscenely happy go lucky attitude

But if you’re asking why starfire and Roy should be far away from the outlaws title, you’d be right. You can call me dramatic but it was lowkey shitty of them to include them considering the damage it did to their characters. Especially Kory.

Yeah dick should be actually independent. But again it’s family fluff over solid characterization so the umbilical cord isn’t cut yet

It’s negatively effecting comics too. Pushing that coffee Tim bullshit, “feral” Damian, and emotional support dick. The Damian one pisses me off most of all because they really had him pull a knife in a formal affair out of annoyance when that boy was raised an AL GHUL until he went to Bruce. Like if he’s drawing a knife it’s for a formalized duel. Not on an unwitting old woman. But even then I’m not sure I’m forgiving.

Oh and DUKE. Duke gets his own paragraph. Jesus fucking Christ did they do him dirty. Absolute boring cardboard cut out of a child. That also gets mildly sidelined for a comic that began with his narration. I get it’s a group thing but like why did some chapters seem to forget about him completely when they stripped him of every ounce of personality to turn him into a reader insert? God I hate it

There’s a lot of problems with it but apparently when you talk about it you’re in for a “let people enjoy things” lecture from someone who doesn’t actually let people enjoy things. I mean some WFA stans cry webtoon if you talk about the slightest amount of negativity. Claiming they need to be healed. Idk with what because WFA is basically a placebo of a comic

[dat-lil-shark]

I just realized that fireworks are probably the best weapon most humans can have against decepticons. Better than guns and rifles.

While they can’t probably kill the con but they can buy you a whole lot of time. Other than just creating smoke and sparks to block the con’s vision, like a giant smoke bomb, they can sends the con into shock. All the con would see is that there is suddenly a big explosions and there were sparks everywhere, and since they are used to associate massive explosion with massive damages, they would panic. (Not to mention that some might think that THEY were the only who had exploded just then). This placebo effect could actually send them into intense psychological distress and pain. And if lucky, it can buy you up to hours of time to escape or hide. Not to mention that if you actually managed to hit one of their optics, it might actually do physical damages to them.

Fireworks probably work the best on seekers that are in flight, too, cause the confusion, traumatic trigger, and bewilderment could make them crash or collide. And even if the firework didn’t hit any of them directly, since Seekers usually travel in three, they would mistakenly assume one of their companions just got struck down, and again, sending them into panic and distress. Especially when they can’t even see who and where their attacker is.

Like imagine, if you are chasing down a little hamster, and the hamster randomly throws you a little paper ball that recreated explosion of big bang itself, you are not going to get up in three second to continue chasing the hamster.

[ellesthots]

Fateful Beginnings

XVI. “sweetener”

parts: previous / next

plot: after months of rejections, a certain offer crops up with such sweetener you can’t possibly resist… though you wish it was under better circumstance.

pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x fem!reader

cw: 18+, talk of death, grief, cancer, angst, unintentional weight loss

words: 3.9k

The next two months were a blur. Your days melted together, only distinguishable by doctor's visits and which job rejected you that day. The economy was in shambles; going on Indeed you were seeing hundreds of applications to a single Dunkin' barista job. You tried your best to forget about Bruce Wayne, and kept replaying the conversation over and over in the week following. His promise not to hurt you, the vague sense of safety and danger you got when you were around him... but it was soothing knowing that he was all the way on the other side of the US. This relief went away when it was deep into the night and you remembered he had all the money, all the tech, all the opportunity to hunt you down if he wanted to, but you did your best to trust the humanity he fronted with. You kicked yourself for forgetting to bring up the loan thing, adrenaline having been coursing through your veins blocking out any real coherent thought outside of the direct moment. It couldn't have been him, it could've been another donor. Maybe it was even Alfred checking my texts when I’d gone to the bathroom or some shit.

The days still blurred together however, and secretly you relished not knowing what day it was; not knowing meant you didn't know how close the draw was. Your mother's clinical trial started beginning of August, and would be a biweekly shot... if she was accepted. At each and every appointment leading up to that fateful day the staff engaged in tempering assurances, albeit assuring hardly anyone would make it into that trial. For a split second whenever a doctor or nurse mentioned it at the end of her appointments you felt a white-hot rod in your throat that froze you in your tracks. The doctors said this was her only hope. And only if she avoids placebo.

Walter was growing increasingly anxious as well. Walter refused to leave her side to the point you had called the office to see if they would ever make an exception to bring a cat inside. No. Allergies. Your dad had taken to staying home with him, otherwise he would go on a food strike. It would take hours of petting and cooing to him to make him comfortable enough to eat again if your mom ever got out of his sight. It was better with your dad there, though. Instead of three hours of cuddling, it might take two for him to eat again. You tried not to think about what would ever happen if your mom's battle ended... poorly.

Your dad started going back to work, only part time. You made sure to spend all the time possible out in the living room with your mother and Walter while she knit and pulled pieces of yarn from Walter's teeth, and watched some sort of romcom. When your dad came back you would all start cooking dinner, then eat, engage in some sort of discussion (your dad had taken to downloading an 'icebreaker' app and would pull one question each day from it) and then you'd spend the rest of the night submitting job apps. It was monotonous, a bit draining, but also sweet. It was such a far cry from Gotham that at just over a month gone from the city, you'd started to wonder if you'd dreamt it and you'd actually been here with them all along... until the day before the clinical trial announcement when you'd woken up to a particular email.

Dear Miss Y/L/N,

It is at the referral of Gotham City University President Dr. Janay Vry that we extend to you an offer of employment in the position of JOURNALISM DEPARTMENT ASSISTANT for the academic year of 2024-25. This is a part-time position requiring 20 hours of on-site time per week including outreach of no more than 5 hours per week. Duties include management of a public column in the Gotham Gazette and various office responsibilities as-needed. Compensation includes a housing stipend of fifteen-hundred dollars per month and an hourly rate of forty-three dollars and forty-five cents.

Please respond before Friday, August 2nd at 5pm. There is a mandatory meeting on Monday, August 5th at 12 noon in Challey Hall, Room 245. Flight and one-week hotel stay will be provided upon acceptance.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Gotham City University Faculty Administrator

You stared at the screen as if you'd seen a ghost. For weeks you hadn't had to worry about Gotham; the crime, the sleazes, Bruce Wayne. I'm balls deep in rejections and now Gotham sweetens the deal. You kicked the sheets off of you then paused, horrified, before remembering Walter didn't sleep in your bed anymore.

Breakfast was as usual. Your dad made omelets and the three of you made small talk about the happenings of the day ahead. Today your mother was getting a visit from Debra, her old friend from the Y back when she volunteered there on weekends. Your dad was working the same shift—10am to 3pm—and would put steak on the grill when he got back. "Looks like it might hit a hundred if we get lucky."

"Y/N," She asked after taking a sip of coffee. "Can you make sure Walter's water is filled? I think I might go to Debra's to get out of the house." You looked under the table to see Walter slurping up the last puddles of his water and rose to fill it. You grabbed a few ice cubes so it could stay cold just the way he liked it; a sobering thought of leaving this for Gotham threatened to sever your spine. After pouring a few cups into his bowl and giving him a proper pet, your dad followed up on your job search. "Any luck on those applications?"

More than anything you didn't want to tell them about Gotham. But as your parents had talked, the more you began to mull over the money in your mind. Free housing. 1500 would be enough for a good studio. 800 a week. A plane ticket's 200 round trip. I could visit, easy. I would visit. It would only be temporary, I wouldn't probably last the whole year before I got offered a position at home. What if Mom doesn't get into the trial? What if she does and she gets placebo? How long does she have? Will it be painful? Do I need to think about a job right now? It would look fucking great on a resumé, which would increase odds of getting ahead of the job seekers in WA quite significantly...

"Hun? Any offers?" Your dad turned to look at you and you blurted out the contents of the email. A second of silent surprise then an uproar of celebration. "Thank heavens, that sounds wonderful! Did you already accept?"

You looked back at them with shock, your mouth hanging slightly open. What? Walter finished his food and brushed against your legs as he wandered to your mom, looking pitifully up at her slices of bacon. "Well, no. It's Gotham. I thought it was too dangerous." You guys nearly prohibited me from even going to Gotham in the first place...

"That was before we visited!" Your mom was ecstatic; she rose to come and give you a big hug, and your dad tried to swat Walter away from jumping on the chair to sneak a bite. You wanted to think it was cute, but your mind raced. How could they be so supportive? Unquestionably? "It's Gotham, Mom," You took her hug not in celebration, but in an effort to commit the feeling to memory.

"How much is the pay?" Your dad pulled in the chair so he couldn't jump and walked over to the sink to put his plate away. You shut your eyes and hid a sigh. Once they know how good the pay is they won't let me stay. "Good, I guess."

"What, 15, 16 an hour?" Your parents eyed you expectantly and you shrugged. "A little more. Than that." You followed the linoleum's vertical lines to where it met the carpet. "And a housing stipend." You cringed. They weren't going to let this opportunity go.

"Wowza, honeybee!" Your dad called you that when he was particularly pleased, which only served to coil your stomach lining. Gotham? Gotham. This was over Gotham. The place we got into screaming matches over me going to only a handful of years ago. "I don't know,"

"Why not? It sounds perfect." Your mom was a foot away from you boring her eyes into your soul. Does she really have no idea why I wouldn't want to leave? "Mom,"

"If this is anything about my cancer," So she did.

"Don't say that," You tried to play it off and stuttered something about how you didn't particularly like Gotham anyway, you could keep looking for jobs here, but she wasn't having it.

"No no. I want you to live your life, sweetie. This is a spectacular opportunity!" Her singsong tone was back and you suddenly wanted to throw up. You wanted to blurt HOW MUCH TIME IS LEFT WITH YOU?? I CAN'T MISS IT! But, you didn't say anything and walked out of the kitchen back to your room. You didn't quite slam the door, but didn't make it silent. While your mother's selflessness was admirable, it was also frustrating. I only get one mom. You sat on the edge of your bed with your head in your hands. Whispers wafted from the kitchen but you couldn't make them out. The sound of footsteps, a pause, and then knocking on your door. "Hun, let's talk." It was your father.

"Dad, no, I'm tired,"

"You just woke up honeybun, I'm not buying that." He sat beside you on the end of your bed. It sagged a bit, not used to the extra company. He placed a hand on your shoulder. "What you're feeling about your mother, I've felt it too. I had the same conversation with her before going back to work.”

"I'm sure she was receptive." You rolled your eyes. He squinted at you. "Now, where is this attitude coming from?"

"I don't want to tell her because it'll make her sad. But. I. I have no idea how much longer she has left. And working would just take time away from her."

"Have you thought about how that might make your mother feel? Her life has changed enough. She's already reminded enough about her... illness."

"Cancer, Dad. Cancer." He never said the words. He shuddered but continued on.

"Her life has been turned upside, over, and back around. She does not need more reminders of how sick she might be."

"How sick she is." You shot a glare at your father, just then realizing how much contempt you felt toward him. It came rushing out of you. "You didn't even think to tell me her mobility changed. I had to see her frail and in a fucking wheelchair,"

"Now, calm yourself!" He snapped at you and took his hand off your shoulder. You scooted a little further from him, annoyed. Your voice was softer but the rock in your chest remained. "You didn't even tell me. She's lost so much weight. Her hair changed. You didn't even tell me. You won't even say the word 'cancer'." Your voice was starting to raise and he stood up. "Talk to your mother."

"Why? Didn't you say that'd just add extra stress? Remind her of her 'illness'?" You stood up and watched him walk to the door. "You weren't in the room with the doctor when he told me. He said it's this trial or fucking nothing."

"Don't use that language in my house!"

"It's my house too." By this point your mind was racing and your palms were sweaty and clammy and head hot, hands shaking. "If she doesn't get into this trial and this medicine doesn't work she's fucked."

He paused with his hand on the doorknob. "If you brought it up to her... maybe you'd see she's come to more peace than you have about it." With that, he left.

At 1:13pm the next day the phone rang. You hadn't talked to your mom about it as she was already headed out the door to see Debra, and didn't come back until late in the evening when she was visibly exhausted. Your dad helped tuck her into bed and she fell asleep quickly. Breakfast the next morning was fine, but tense; you were all anxiously awaiting this phone call. Your dad had stayed home from work just in case, and now your mom picked up the phone. "Yes, that's she. Yes. Yes, that's correct." And just by some small miracle, she'd gotten in.

Debra joined the party that evening. After a tearful raucous she was the first one your family called. Not ten minutes later she had arrived with a pie. "I baked it this morning. I figured we'd want something sweet no matter what."

The logistics were as-follows: your mom was going to be receiving her first shot of the drug (or, terrifyingly, a placebo) the following Friday. She would keep a diligent record of any side effects, even if they didn't seem related. Two weeks later she would receive her second dose and turn in the side-effect sheet, and that would continue for the following month until switching to once a month injections for the rest of the year. The first week of the new year your mother would get another scan, and that would be the first check-in. "They told me if everything goes how it should with the medication, I could not only see growth stunted, but be on the road to remission." Seeing how happy your parents were the rest of the evening only made the offer in Gotham more inviting; she'd been accepted, and if the results were, god forbid, horrendous in the new year, you would come home and help with the money you'd saved.

Clutching the laptop with white knuckles, you sent the acceptance email at 4:50pm the next day, ten minutes before the deadline. Half an hour later you were booked for your flight that Sunday at noon. Saturday was filled with laundry and packing bags; now Walter didn't want to leave your side. That night you hardly slept, staying up to pet him on the couch while your parents nodded off to a TV movie. The phrase mutually assured destruction came back to haunt you—you hadn't meant that to be a threat, but what if it was? You'd planned on never having to see him again... but the city was big. You could avoid him. And if you were going to trust him, he had said that even if you had written the exposé he wouldn't have hurt you.

You planned to come back once a month, leaving Thursday night and returning Sunday night. It fit well with your mom's trial schedule for the latter portion of the year, and you'd be able to come with her to her appointments. When you got on the plane and tucked your carryon under the seat it didn't feel so terrible. It felt less like leaving and more like a weird vacation. But as soon as you woke up in Gotham a rock hit the pit of your stomach. Fuck. I'm back.

The W was the hotel Dr. Vry had set up for you, only a floor below where you'd stayed with your parents the last time. You had one week to find an apartment, and Dr. Vry said to list her on any applications to 'speed up the process'. While waiting on the Uber to pick you up in the airport you'd sent one application to a place in North Gotham, a gorgeous gem of a spot with a full-size tub and in-unit washer dryer. Just as you pushed the key into your room at the hotel, you received a confirmation email with the date to retrieve your keys. Fuck, they made it too easy.

With a lot of time on your hands and a new neighborhood to explore, you abandoned your room and wandered around the blocks surrounding. You went more north this time, to avoid any fleeting memory of Bruce and whatever the hell he'd been up to.

Northern Gotham was certainly more family-friendly. You saw couples taking their babies out on walks instead of throngs of people clustering around the various clubs on every block. There was only one club you'd seen so far, and that one allowed minors until seven pm. You'd lived more downtown, central city, and never had reason to go further north until now. The apartment you'd been in was less than a thousand a month, which made sense how riddled it was with crime. It wasn't even close to Washington, but this didn't quite feel like the Gotham you knew close to campus.

You noticed a cute themed coffee shop on the corner ahead and went in. There were a few people and a couple sitting around the small room, working on their laptops or reading a book. It really felt like it wasn't Gotham, like you'd been transported back home for a quick moment. You went on Maps and saw that your new apartment was only three blocks east of the cafe. Safety. Serenity. Never thought I'd find a crumb of it here. You resigned to coming here as often as possible. You ordered a macchiato and sat on a leather loveseat as you waited. Your jeans bit into your stomach and you adjusted uncomfortably, the leather loud as you wiggled. I guess this is why this seat was empty. You were called up for your drink quickly and thanked them as you walked out back from whence you came. Though you hadn't been in the store for five minutes, it was already raining. Even Washington didn't rain in August, but you couldn't be too pressed. The rain was nice when it wasn't forcing you to be locked in the city mansion with the... no.

Bruce doesn't own this city. There's millions of people here. With your coffee in hand you made the trek back to the hotel, and after hopping into the giant bed you sat with your thoughts for a moment. Challey Hall... that wasn't the journalism department. The term started three Mondays later, and alongside the fifteen-hundred stipend for rent and utilities, Dr. Vry had emailed you with an extra thousand in the form of a digital check. In her words it was a 'settle-in fee'. Monday would be the meeting and then Dr. Vry would give you a tour of the places you'd be frequenting. You'd receive your schedule, and Tuesday through Sunday would be reserved for settling into the apartment and getting items for it so it wasn't an empty box. Why are they being so generous with the money? It didn't feel right, not when there was so much inequality in the city. You'd make sure to cut some costs and offer whatever was left after your first paycheck to the houseless people around campus.

As you walked back you couldn't help but think about how gigantic the city was. When considering whether or not to accept the position, you had vastly underrepresented the impact of the sheer size of the city on your psyche. It made you feel completely unimportant and equally as lost. It only served your insecurities, making you feel like even more of an outcast than you already felt in your small town just outside of Seattle. Mar. You could call Mar. She could come over, and you could tell her about Bruce. That would be a good icebreaker. Open up to her about why you'd been so MIA, about your mother's cancer, about why you left and why you came back. You needed someone to talk to.

An hour later you and her were sitting on the hotel bed eating takeout noodles. "So you're saying you stayed in Bruce Wayne's HOUSE, then he helped you pack up your apartment, then dropped you off at the airport," Her face was scrunched together, deep in thought as she recounted the last hour of conversation. Some broth from the noodles was on the top of her lip. "Then he was the commencement speaker at your graduation, he talked to your parents after, then later that night he found you again and talked to you?"

"When you say it like that it sounds like stalking." You shrugged and took another chomp of noodles. Mar stared at you. "If it sounds like stalking,"

"It's coincidence, I promise." You hadn't completely kept out the part where you two hated each other, you made sure that was clear, but you sure as hell kept out the why. Mar was trustworthy, sure, but you didn't even want to remember he was Batman. It made you anxious and nervous to think about him in the suit. Then you would've had to explain that you and Bruce were now circling each other with ammo pointed at the other's chest if one of you stepped out of line.

"I don't know, it sounds creepy. What if he shows up here in the middle of the night..." Mar trailed off when she saw you look away. You hadn't told Mar about your mom yet, and didn't know if you wanted to for fear of it becoming more real. You wanted to leave that out of Gotham. Leave the trauma, leave the guilt, leave it for the weekends when you would fly back. You shrugged and made a joke about getting to be associated with a billionaire. "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he got papped here. Might boost my journalistic impact." The conversation moved away from Bruce after that, and you and Mar spent the rest of the evening talking, eventually laying in bed scrolling Scypher on your respective phones. The second you loaded the app, however, you saw a Dior ad everyone in Gotham was swooning over, and couldn't hold back your gasp.

He had not only been photographed often by paparazzi, it seemed, going on regular walks to downtown shops and local charity events, but this was his first official campaign. Mar leaned over and nodded, saying 'everyone' was talking about the photo. "I thought you'd already seen it, that's why you brought him up."

"No, I haven't." You scrolled through the comments trying to hold back a cringe.

He can top me

BARK BARK BARK

y did he keep his BEAUTY FROM US FOR SO LONG???????????

daddy

when is the rest of the campaign dropping asking for a friend

You turned your phone off and rolled over in bed. You told Mar goodnight (she decided to spend the night since she hadn't seen you in so long), murmuring something about having to be up the next day for your orientation. Bruce Wayne. Billionaire playboy. What the fuck happened with him?

[lovejosephquinn]

Imagine it’s like your third/fourth date with Joe and he decides to have the date at his so he can show off his mega cooking skills. Everything is so cute and fluffy and saccharine and then it’s the first time the two of you have sex. But it’s all adorable and sweet rather than the (wonderful) filth that you usually do!! I feel like I don’t see enough first time fics anymore :(

I GOT YOU. One fluffy fluffed up imagine just for you bestie 🥰

Under 18's DNI. Word Count: 3.5k

There was something different about Joe, the absolute charmer of a man that you had never witnessed before in anybody else. It was something you couldn't quite pin point and if you had one guess it would be that you had never been treated quite like the queen that others had told you that you oh so truly deserved.

It hadn't took long for Joe to break down the walls in which you had held up as much as you could from previous relationships, but he had it all, not just the looks that were an extreme bonus and you felt like you could jump him every time you saw him but also the persona he only really kept for people that was worth it, the whit and the chaotically beautiful and quite frankly funny yet brutally sweet and caring nature of him had shined through by the time your second date had come around.

Basically, to put it bluntly, he was your definition of perfect and it was something you couldn't possibly refuse to let go.

It was proving an impossible task to not fall in love with this human so quickly. It was cringeworthy to admit, but he was the first thing you thought about in a morning and the very last thing you dreamt about at night, it was a puzzle piece in your heart that was missing and he somehow completed it by walking into your life at the time he did.

Not to say you didn't meet the way most courting adults do nowadays, through the wonders of dreaded hooking up dating apps. You had felt like a teenager with a massive crush staying up until 4am the first time that you ever exchanged messages, talking for hours in pointless conversation, sharing memories and exchanging pleasantries and the general chit chat to get to know one another. You just clicked. What seemed too good to be true turned into texting every single day, calling each other when you both had a spare minute, sharing the occasional face time just to be able to say hello at the closest face to face you could finally get a chance to meet; and then it happened.

Date one: a simplistic meal at an authentic Italian restaurant, suited and booted, a grand first impression of a gentleman if any. Your first kiss. Sensual, slow and heartfelt.

Date two: Driving out to a lake which was situated around the lovely grounds of a valley, you held hands pretty much all the way around, giggling, sharing ice cream, feeding the ducks with over priced bread and laughing at Joe nearly falling in the water when he leaned to actually hand feed the duckling, resulting in him almost looking like a drowned rat and being branded an accidental murderer forever.

Date three: Another meal at a fancy five star French restaurant in the heart of London, followed by drinks in bars that Joe insisted he needed to take you to as they did the best martini's you'd ever tasted. He wasn't wrong, you fucking hated martinis until that night, maybe it was just a placebo due to the fact he enjoyed them, so you made yourself like them too, you had to impress him to right? You'd made out in the taxi all the way back to your flat, Joe dropped you off not insinuating that he wanted to take it any further as it was clear you both didn't want to rush something that was going so well and risk it failing over sleeping together too quickly.

Date four was tonight. You had arranged a quieter more casual meet this evening. Joe had shown great determination in getting you to his home to cook for you, vowing to you over and over that he was a way better chef than those of the restaurants you had eaten at together on dates in the past. Even though it was less formal affair, you still made yourself look presentable, sporting an oversized jumper dress with a more relaxed approach to stick to wearing trainers, it wasn't like you would have them on long anyway. Minimal make up and a nice up do, packing your over night bag as you had the bright idea that you would stay over the night so that you didn't have to rush through the time you had together; you could take your time.

You packed pyjamas, why? Because you didn't know how comfortable you would be to sleep in your underwear next to a male who you weren't sure would want to see such a thing. He's a man, of course he fucking would; but you didn't want to come across eager.

It was about a 25 minute drive to where you needed to be, you were still nervous to see Joe after already seeing so much of each other in the last few weeks, it was still fresh to you but you knew as soon as you were together, the comfortability would kick in pretty much when you arrived and shared your first glances.

When you got to the front door, it opened before your fist had even touched the object. You stood there with it mid air, a small wolf whistle followed by the sweetest smile, his sweetest smile, teeth and all. Joe of course was dressed to the nines, shirt and trousers but as you looked down to check the full variety of what you had to stare it, you noticed the cute pink socks sticking out like a sore thumb underneath the foot of his trousers. You couldn't help but snigger a giggle.

"Real men wear pink." Were his first words.

"And you're looking sincerely sexy in those pink socks Joe." You both chortled out a bark of laughter as Joe gestured for you to come through before closing the door behind you.

Once you were no longer in view of the public, you were met by Joe's hand clutching around your waist, bringing you in to close the space between your bodies. You leaned upward to receive a content little peck on the lips, your hands placed on his chest to keep you steady as you brought your feet back down fully to ground level.

"You look beautiful, darling." Joe cooed.

"Oh stop it." You patted his chest as he hummed a chuckle.

"Thank you would be a better answer." He tilted his head to one side, unknowingly surprised with you reaching to share a more intimate kiss this time. As you pulled back, Joe sighed almost peacefully, the way you did when you had butterflies flipping around your stomach. The feeling was definitely most mutual.

"Okay you win, that was a perfect response." Joe took your hand once you had rested them back to your side and brought you into the kitchen/dining area where he pulled out your seat for you. You thanked him as you looked around to see how classy he had set out the cutlery, a small plate, a dinner plate and a wine glass. A jug of water in the middle of the table in case you needed it at any point throughout the meal.

"Smells divine in here." You gazed around the messy kitchen, the sign of a good hearty meal being cooked as well as it could be showed that he was pulling out all of the stops.

"I hope you're hungry, I made a little too much pasta." Joe pressed his lips into a thin line, furrowing his brow and shrugging his shoulders slightly at you.

"I meant you, the food smells good too."

"Oh stop it." Joe mimicked you, covering his hand over his mouth in a pathetic and quite frankly over dramatic attempt to pretend he was embarrassed over your compliment.

Joe poured the wine into your glass, insisting that you taste it to make sure it was the one that you had said you liked beforehand. Great memory. Perfect for the pasta dish that you were about to consume. The indeed heavenly smell of prawn tagliatelle with various vegetables was dished out in front of you. You ate everything, even went in for seconds, it was a good job you didn't eat much today and you had to all intents and purposes starved yourself so that you would be ravenous by the time you had your dinner date.

Was this man ever wrong in his assumptions? Nope. He was a sensational cook, his mum had clearly taught him a lot and he was well trained in the kitchen, perfect as you were up for a dinner date like this every night for the rest of your life if this was the quality of food you would receive.

To top it all off, he had also prepared dessert, an affogato served with home made pistachio ice cream, an eye rolling, taste bud tingling way to finish off your meal indeed. You had polished off the wine too quickly for your liking, the combination of wine heated your cheeks along with the warmth of the house and also being sat across from Joe probably didn't help the matter.

You had retired to the living room after helping him clean up. Joe had insisted that you were his guest and wouldn't lift a finger but after a playful and most valid argument between you, Joe accepted your point of it would get done faster if you did it together. Putting on a movie seemed like the best option to end a solid ten out of ten evening together, a romantic comedy that you had seen at least thirty times in your life. You downed the last of your wine in your glass and set it in front of you on the coffee table, snuggling into Joe's side, he caught the hint pretty quickly and lifted his arm to let you sink into him further. His hand stroked the bare skin of your shoulder where your jumper had faltered a little, sending goose bumps raging their way through your skin.

It wasn't long until the movie was forgotten about, a deeply passionate kiss provoked by Joe himself. He had smoothly managed to push his finger tip toward your jaw, putting enough pressure to make you look up toward him where his free hand came to cup your cheek, bringing you forward to softly connect your lips together. You lifted yourself up with the help of Joe to sit yourself directly on his lap, tongues now involved as begged at your bottom lip for entrance. The kiss became intense, your fingers ran through his untamed curls which were soft and a little frizzy from the humidity of cooking whilst your other hand was wrapped in the chains around his neck, pulling him to be as close to you as possible. The dimmed lighting added to the voluptuousness and your whole body was screaming with desire to be touched in anyway he would dare to.

The kiss broke intermittently as you both panted for just that little bit to regain the oxygen your lungs had lost in the last few minutes.

"Shall we go get a little more comfortable, love?" Joe offered, stroking his thumb over your cheek giving you a smile that could heal the world.

"I'd love to." Joe kept you in his grasp, lifting himself up off of the sofa and you instantly obliged to wrap your legs around his waist. He carried you upstairs and into his bedroom, using his elbow to switch on the light before he slowly set you down on your back onto the foam mattress that you immediately thought was going to be a great nights sleep from the instant comfort you felt. Joe rested himself by the side of you, propped up on one elbow as his hand magnetised itself straight back to your cheek. He examined your features for a moment, staring through into your soul, your eyes following every muscle that worked in the doe eyes that sparkled towards you.

"Just to be clear you do want-" Joe whispered shyly, but before he could finish it was a response you didn't even have to think about.

"I do, I really do." He knew you were on the same page, his lips coming back to join yours in the most gratifying and pleasurable kiss. Electricity was shooting it's way down to your core, followed by anxiety that he may not like what he saw underneath your clothing.

You broke the kiss this time, pushing all doubts out of your mind as you sat up to remove your jumper dress, leaving yourself in your matching underwear, slowly looking up to witness his reaction.

It was very much worth it.

Joe's eyes had grown lustful, extremely excited to see you looking so vulnerable for him. Joe pushed his hands towards the back of your bra, stopping for a second to look at you for reassurance.

"May I?"

You giggled. "You may."

Joe touched you delicately like you were made of porcelain, not wanting to break you but at the same time really wanting to feel every ounce of you. He massaged your breasts in the palm of his hands, lightly pinching your nipples and gaining a whimper from the sensitivity that it caused.

"You like that, baby?" Baby. That was the first time he had called you that and you hoped it would not be the last.

A stifling yes was all you could manage, his touch riling you up good and proper as he laid you down back into an easier position to access so that his mouth could taste where his fingers had just influenced.

Soft moans were making the erection in Joe's trousers twitch as he worked his way down with unhurried yet deliberate little embracing kisses down your body. His hands following where his lips had just caressed until he was knelt down before you, placing your feet at the edge of the bed, reaching upward to slide your panties down and fully off. You were stark naked and his bush baby eyes had never shimmered brighter than they were, his jaw could of fell to the floor the way his mouth gaped open looking down at you.

"You're so fucking beautiful, I am so lucky." There was that sigh again, oh so delightful to observe.

Joe planted more kisses along your thighs before working his way towards your slit, guiding his hands to open it up so that he could start by licking a small stripe down to the base of you with the tip of his tongue. A louder moan escaped you this time.

"Relax darling, I want to make you feel so good."

When he got into a more focussed position, his hands reached for yours, intertwining your fingers together as you both gave a little reassuring squeeze to let each other know it was okay. His muscle massaged against your clit, making the muscles in your legs twinge each time he slipped it over a particular spot. He pressed succulent kisses against you with each taste, humming and breathing in the scent of you.

"That feels so good." You mewled.

"Mmm." Joe answered, he was in too deep for a truly more accurate reply.

His movements got a little faster and heavier against your bud, your body squirming around the sheets, your fingers pressing harder into his knuckles before he let one of your hands go, your instant reaction was to massage your boob and play with yourself a little. Joe surprised you by pushing a finger inside of you, the cold metal of his ring touching your entrance when the entirety of his digit made it's way up. He added another shortly, curling them upwards but keeping the pace gently measured to really make you feel even better than you could have ever imagined.

It all ended too quickly as Joe pushed himself away from you, ridding the contact from his fingers and wiping the back of his hand over his mouth to dry himself off.

"Why did you stop?"

"I can't take it anymore, I need to feel myself inside of you, you feel too good like this, god knows how you'll feel like that." Joe undressed himself and you watched his defined figure unravel before you, gawking from his neck down, not too toned but just right. His cock stood to attention, leaking pre-cum from being so heavily turned on from his time during his little cunninglingus fun. You were impressed with everything he had to offer, why wouldn't you be impressed with the sheer just above average size he was packing.

"You are perfect Quinn." You bit down onto your bottom lip, hypnotising him immediately with the way your eyes clung to his.

"No baby, that's you." BABY. BABY. B A B Y.

Joe lined himself up over you, not letting you move from your previous state, silently insisting that you relax whilst he continued to make you both feel incredible. He rubbed his cock between your slit, gaining some of his own spit and your slick to lube him up for easier access.

"Are you sure-"

"I'm sure, baby." It was your turn to mock him whimsically but he seemed to drink it in as you did, the pet name in particular. Joe pushed himself inside of you slowly, inch by inch filling you, your walls instantaneously clenching around him sending a ferocious groan straight from Joe's mouth.

"Just as I thought." He said.

You giggled a little too suddenly. "What?"

"Heavenly."

Joe began to rock his hips back and fourth into you, the girth alone sent your back arching as he leant down, the muscles in his arms flexing to keep him hovering above you, his chains dangling around your chin as he thrusted back and fourth. Sharp breathes and the heat of passion were strong between the two of you, a rush of new found energy had you both singing each other's names like a prayer. The movements were sloppy yet so eager, fiery yet heartfelt. You looked into each others eyes with promise and sensibility. If you weren't mistaken, the look of love. Too lost in your thoughts, you were brought back down to the present to see Joe's lips moving, your hearing came back into play once you had stopped being so caught in your brain.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Never better."

"Did you hear what I said?" Joe pushed into you a little harder this time making you gasp.

"Evidently not." You breathed out a distorted moan followed by a chuckle.

"Be mine." Joe repeated himself hoping that you heard him loud and clear this time.

"I already am." You smiled as soon as he did, his lips crashed against yours, your heavily beautiful kiss moving in time with that of his hips, stopping sporadically to take a breath or to get out the breathless whimpers you needed to let escape.

The knot snapped inside your stomach when he hit one final thrust, sending you both over the edge together. Your bodies tingling from head to toe, the sensation you wished would last a lifetime and more from the stimulation and pure feeling you were eating up at this very moment.

"That was-" Joe was left stuttering so much that he had to pause.

"Amazing?" You finished.

"Exactly." Joe leaned down to kiss you one last time before pulling out, your orgasms rid to their full potential, it had made it all the more zealous to have reached your peaks together.

You ran to the bathroom to flush out what you needed to, cleaning yourselves up before returning to Joe's bed, the pyjamas long forgotten about that you had packed, a comforting thought that you now would be able to sleep skin to skin, happy and tranquil. Joe rushed downstairs to turn the tv off, not long after returning and making a huge leap towards the bed to which you jumped out of your skin when you realised he was almost about to crush you the same way he could have done the duckling on your second date.

It was all laughter and mind numbing chatter for the rest of the night, you laid in Joe's arms, your ear just resting above his heart which beat steady and relaxed.

"You meant it?" Joe mentioned and you looked up at him dazed and confused in your exhausted state.

"Meant what?" You asked.

"That you were mine." Joe looked deeply into your eyes, looking for the answers before you spoke them.

"Always."

"Perfect." Joe planted a kiss onto your forehead, his fingers making light work stroking up and down the top of your back.

"That's you." You nestled your face into his chest.

"Sweet dreams then, my darling girl."

You laid in the same position until the sun rose and the light dimmed it's way through the corners of Joe's curtains. A new day had never felt so good, especially beginning it in the arms of your man. Perfect.

[beesmygod]

a study came out that might indicate that the benefits gained from medical ketamine are a result of the placebo effect (or as the article makes a purpose of highlighting, "having hope") rather than any specific mechanism unique to hallucinogens. but the way they did the study was really interesting, as they make the point that its nearly impossible to do blind studies of a hallucinogen because its REALLY obvious whether or not you have a placebo.

additionally interesting is the way that researchers discuss and reframe placebo as a mechanism with actual biological impact instead of its general perception as "haha you got tricked into feeling better for no reason dipshit!" in hindsight it makes perfect sense that there's actual chemical stuff going on under the hood

“In some ways, none of this is new,” said Boris Heifets, the study’s corresponding author. “Placebo is probably the single most effective, consistent intervention in medicine, full stop. It’s seen in every trial, and we should probably be paying more attention to the factors that give rise to it.” [...] “Saying ‘it’s just a placebo’ is really a disservice to what placebo is,” Heifets said. “It isn’t ‘I’ll feel better if I say it enough times,’ and it does not imply that there was nothing wrong with the patient.” The researchers settled on the physiological resonance between the placebo effect – which they describe as hope – and how ketamine exerts its effects. Studies have shown that both affect the brain’s mu-opioid receptors, which process pain. “There is most definitely a physiological mechanism, something that happens between your ears when you instill hope,” Heifets said.

article here

probably the same stuff that makes it seem like people improve from prayer. pretty neat!

[heroictoonz]

Can you do plasmashipping (Jay x Kai) with this prompt? :

Bandaging the other and then kissing the injury gently

Jay’s hands were almost unnaturally still as he wrapped the gauze around Kai’s forearm. The cut wasn’t deep enough to need stitches, thankfully, but it still looked scary to Jay. The amount of blood that had originally spilled from the wound was almost dizzying. 

Not for Kai, of course, who had hardly even noticed the wound as he chased down the knife-wielding bandit. It wasn’t till Jay had caught sight of the cut in his sleeve and the quickly spreading stain on the left over fabric that there was any sign that he’d been injured during the fight. 

Jay was quick to pull Kai back to the monastery, insisting that they could chase after the guy later. When they’d gotten home, Jay grabbed the first aid kit and had Kai remove the top part of his gi. 

It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but it still wasn’t a fun sight. “How did you not notice you got cut?” Jay hissed out as he finished tying off the bandaging. 

Kai looked at him with a frustrated frown. He gave a shrug that said more to his annoyance than an actual loss of knowledge. He looked down to where Jay’s hand held his in silent consideration. 

“Dude, you gotta be more careful!” Jay continued on. “I mean, just launching yourself at that guy? Seriously?! We’re a team and you’re a ninja. You have got to get better at strategy than that-”

“Okay!” Kai interrupted him with a shout. “I get it! I fucked up, message received.” He yanked his arm out of Jay’s grasp and looked down at the bandaging. “You can stop acting like you’re my mom or somethin’,” he mumbled out. 

It was Jay’s turn to frown at Kai. “I’m not trying to act like a mom.” He yanked Kai’s arm back into his own grasp, eliciting a call of offense from the ninja. “I’m trying to make sure that you’re not about to kill yourself doin’ somethin’ stupid.” 

Jay ran his thumb over where the now hidden injury was. He pulled Kai’s arm up and gently placed a kiss to the bandaging. When he pulled away, his face was flushed red, and he refused to look up and match Kai’s gaze. 

“What the hell was that for?” Kai’s words weren’t said with any form of harshness or venom. They were mumbled with a quiet huff. 

“My ma used to say that love heals faster than time or medicine.” Jay finally let go of Kai’s arm of his own accord. “‘N’ every time she’d kiss a scrape or cut, it always felt better immediately.” 

Kai raised a brow as his eyes searched Jay’s face. He gave up his search and instead let himself fall back onto the wood flooring of the monastery porch. “Dude, I think your mom placebo-ed your ass.” 

Jay couldn’t help but chuckle at the response. “Yeah, probably. But it worked, so I guess I can’t complain all that much.” He finally looked at Kai, smiling down at him with a tired expression. 

Kai didn’t really have anything to reply. Instead, he stayed silent and gave Jay a returned smirk. He kept it to himself that his arm really didn’t hurt all that bad anymore. 

Send me fic prompts o7

[lady-harrowhark]

How's your jaw?

Ahhh hi!!!! It's doing okay! It's been a little over two weeks since I did the injections and he said that it takes about two weeks for it to fully kick in. I think I'm clenching less overall, but by the end of the day I still usually have some degree of muscle pain in my face. I think I do a lot of like, habitual constant clenching (almost like "in the background") and then have shorter bursts of more intense clenching interspersed that tend to be more related to focus/immediate stress/etc - it seems like I have less of the background clenching and I'm better able to catch myself in the moment with the more intense episodes.

Stress, caffeine, and my ADHD meds definitely make the clenching worse in general, so like usually I try to take fewer/lower doses and lay off the caffeine when I have less on my plate BUT I'm currently working on some of the last revisions for my thesis (I'm so close to being done with this thing forever and I'm ready to dropkick it into the sun) so the stress+caffeine+no med breaks is kind of inevitable right now. So actually it's pretty impressive that I'm noticing any difference at all even WITH those factors at play.

It's been really interesting that my masseter muscles already feel slightly smaller and definitely a lot.... softer? Like when I bite down and touch them, it feels more like a ball of stiff clay rather than a golf ball lol, like I can push into them a bit with my fingertips which I definitely could not do before. I genuinely did not realize how overdeveloped they were before this - I was talking to a friend about how the dentist had said I had "the Arnold Schwarzenegger of masseters" and I had commented that I don't really know how mine compare to other people's since I don't exactly go around feeling people's faces and she had me feel hers and uhhhhhhhhh WOW. I was genuinely shocked at how minimal hers felt in comparison. Apparently it is NOT normal for your masseter muscles to feel like actual golf balls under your skin, who knew!!!!

The injections themselves were pretty painless, most of them less painful than like a flu shot. I got a lot of uncomfortable pressure in my ears almost immediately, but I suspect that has more to do with how I had to spend quite a bit of time clenching/biting down hard for him to examine the muscles and place the injections. I've had a lot of chronic ear issues over the years and some Eustachian tube dysfunction type stuff, which tbh may very well be related to TMJ dysfunction. The ear pressure dissipated after two or three days, and it could be a placebo but it seems like they've felt less full since then. Other than the ear pressure, I did feel kind of generally achy and vaguely yucky the first two days afterwards, almost like I was getting the flu. Apparently that's not unheard of but some Tylenol took care of most of it.

Importantly, I haven't had any other bits of bone poking through my gums! Time will tell in that regard, since there was about five months in between the two times it happened. The area of my gums where the one piece of bone came out feels a lot smoother/flatter than it did before this whole debacle, which makes me wonder if there wasn't some general inflammation or soft tissue build up around it. The other side of my mouth does have a bump that seems to come to a point and my regular dentist said it does feel kind of sharp beneath the gum tissue, so I wouldn't be surprised if it eventually pushes through but at least if that happens I'll know what's going on.

I go back in two-ish weeks for follow up and he said I'll probably need more injections then but that it likely won't be as many as before. The first round he did 60 units but I don't really have an estimate as to how many it might be for the second round. As long as it helps, I don't particularly care how much they inject, although less is definitely better for my wallet. I haven't heard back on whether or not insurance will cover it. They probably won't since it's an off label use and teeth are considered optional by insurance companies, but the clinic said they would at least try to get it covered, which I appreciate.

[scarabjewels]

Jack and the Cuckoo-clock Heart: I Truly Think The Movie "fixed" The Book

As a follow up to my first post, THE DIFFERENCES

This is the second part.

PART 2: WHAT WAS KEPT AND MADE BETTER

Book and Movie: Madeleine was Jack's greatest love after all.

*The fix: Madeleine never betrayed him

Madeleine sort of broke the third rule for Jack already by adopting him fully, she was his mother and by default because of her caring and nurturing nature , his love for her inevitably came before falling in love with Acacia. In the movie, his foster mother's words and her presence influenced every decision he ever made in his life. When he came back home to Edinburgh to get a new heart as the result of him breaking the three rules, he learns of her death and ultimately it breaks his heart. That was the last straw to the failure of his heart. I preferred his beautifully tragic death as it was poetic justice.

In the book, the premise is the same, but the outcome different. The movie took Madeleines death as the final blow, but in the book, the truth and her death caused him to outgrow his mother, through destroying his cuckoo clock heart. He loved her but it doesn't negate the fact that she robbed him of a normal life, because she wanted to shield him from the world. She was his greatest love, and it costed the death of his old heart, the failure of his first love and a Don Quixote journey that never met a happy ending, but lead to a new beginning, a new heart, a fresh start as a new Jack.

Book and Movie: The dialogues between the stories were almost verbatim, yet somehow evoked a different outcome.

The fix: They were straight to the point

It's like the movie and the book were the same stories in alternative universes. Not much was changed, in fact a lot were kept the same, it was just cut short for the sake of the time, as a novel is different from a movie, much less in animated one.

Book and Movie: Acacia’s tendency to lash out

*The fix: Acacia’s thorns and slightly fleshed out character and background.

She is very feisty. In the book, she was probably even more. What I do appreciate is that tje thorns symbolize protection, Acacia went through traumatic experiences and is all alone. She would likely have to protect her self from harm. Honestly, her reactions in the movie are understandable, especially when Jack snuck in her dressing room. She is much more level headed in the movie, and even kinder, to everyone too.

In the book, she was portrayed as having self-worth issues and is easily offended. She had "surprisingly" low self-esteem, said Jack. She would be very wishy-washy and clear commitment issues. I am glad that her feistyness was geared from a place of trauma that the audience was able to sympathise with her and that we got to know her, other than Jack's dreamy fairy.

Book and Movie: It was revealed that Jack and Acacia were each other's first love

The fix: It was revealed earlier than the book

My issue with book is that they revealed it on an argument about Joe. It made her trust with Jack break unfortunately, and it was probably exactly why it was like that in the book. They were destined to love but not commited, as well as the movie, but shown in a realistic tumultuous toxic relationship.

In the movie, Jack pursued her, and as much as Acacia is attracted, she admits she is in love with someone else. Later, he found out he was her first love and did reveal it after. The exchange of why he didn't reveal it any earlier is much more believable, out of fear. But they did work it out and started to share more of each other. They were impulsive lovers but loved each other genuinely, and both were mature for their age. Communicative and honest.

Book and Movie: Jack ripping his heart

The fix: It was actually dangerous

Yeah. The book really told us it was placebo. It made the build up so bad in the end. The graphic details were spared in the movie but Jack limping as he went back home made up for it. Thank you movie for making it an actual heart and not a f*cking placebo.

Book and Movie: Jack's biological mother was a young mom who abandoned Jack

The fix: She loved her child

The book mom was described to be really young, and did not even want to see Jack after she gave birth to him. The movie made her much more sympathetic and caring, she obviously loved the child but had no means to support him. She actually held him in the movie which was sweet.

Book and Movie: The Jack Ripper Train Chase

The fix: NONE and WHY DID THEY KEEP IT

The weird Jack the Ripper scenes that I still DO NOT UNDERSTAND

A comment in a video essay about the film said it was supposed to represent Jack's fear of becoming like the infamous killer, but even with context from the book, I felt so lost. It was so random.

The lines the killer said about how he will now learn how to survive on his own, I sort of understand. It's just that it was not really a necessary scene in any way. I even think Melies could have told him about living on his own. It was weird and I don't understand it in any way.

Book and Movie: The steampunk elements

The Fix: turned up to Maximum

Yep, I especially like the boat instead of the carriage. The visual is admittedly VERY BIZARRE. Moons with faces, harmonic train, circus "freaks", insane rollercoasters. In the book, the detailed sceneries and characters felt drab compared the visuals of the movie but I did wish The Extraordinarium didn't feel too much of a desert. It was more lively and Spainesque in the book. Otherwise, the train station and music video like scenes made up for more than enough.

[scientia-rex]

Hi scientia-rex, I've been reading your post on weight loss. It looks good, but i'm not sure what to do with it given that it's my doctor telling me loose weight. But my real question a while ago I was frustratedly googling research starting from the question "well why the fuck would liposuction NOT work?" Attacking the fat directly rather then pulling at caloric levers seems like at better attack vector. And it seemed like the answer was that the subcutaneous fat was the wrong fat to attack. The visceral fat around the intestines is different in type and does a lot of hormonal work. Ok, I googled, can someone remove *that* fat? And I found what looks like fucking gold to me. Because someone *is*! and they just started! Here are some links. https://www.ksat.com/news/local/2021/04/22/belly-fat-removal-surgery-study-shows-remarkable-results-for-patients-with-type-2-diabetes/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29631983/ https://classic.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT03953963 https://www.sbir.gov/node/1911833 Someone is doing early human trials on this and it looks like it's getting good results. I asked my doctor about and she had never heard of it. The other doc in the office asked around a a bariatrics conference and didn't learn any more about it there either. What is our take, is this as hopeful as it looks?

Hard maybe. Although the initial data cited looks positive, the fact that this experiment has been running since at least 2018 (date of first publication) and I didn't hear about it during residency and since then, and only one citing paper with similar results in a baboon model using cryoablation, I feel like this is less likely to be groundbreaking in the way the original author represents it. It could be, but you need to keep in mind that this is a multi billion dollar industry, and if surgeons or researchers smelled an opportunity to create a new surgical sub-specialty with insane profit potential, it would happen ASAP--not overnight, but probably faster than this, with more press. More researchers would be working on this, and there would be a rapidly growing body of literature, which there doesn't appear to be. No guarantee that it's not the Next Hot Thing, but you also need to keep in mind that the question of whether visceral fat actually is worse for us in a causative fashion than subcutaneous fat is still debatable.

I've lived through a lot of "very promising" research that turned out to be nowhere near as useful as it initially looked, so I'll care more about this if/when it gets the same kind of press as Ozempic did. I always compare new medical interventions to Viagra--when that came out, the whole world knew about it damn near overnight. No questions, no maybes, it was "this thing actually works," and all those ads for Spanish fly in the back of adult magazines collapsed almost entirely. Sure, you can still find random placebos in gas stations, but everyone knows what the thing is that works.

[sophieinwonderland]

https://www.tumblr.com/sophieinwonderland/755695228825075712/httpswwwtumblrcomsophieinwonderland755581825?source=share

Yea those religions do frequently employ cult tactics. That doesn't make it right? Mainstream religions absolutely manipulate vulnerable people into joining. This is disgusting, and absolutely cult tactics. Trying to do something like this, and justifying it because groups that frequently do awful things are powerful, isn't right.

Okay, can we take a step back and think about what I'm actually talking about for a moment and why you feel this is wrong?

If you have someone who is in emotional distress and needs help, three people come to their aid offering something different.

First, a Christian comes and asks them to go to church with them. It's not guaranteed to cure them, but studies have shown positive mental health benefits to religious worship and being part of a church.

Second comes a tulpamancer, who tells them that they can make a tulpa. The tulpa can keep them company and make them feel less lonely. And again, studies have shown mental health benefits to tulpamancy.

Finally, a doctor comes and recommends the person takes medication. The medicine might not be guaranteed work and may have side effects, but studies have shown it to generally be helpful.

All three are offering something different. And the doctor is definitely more educated. But essentially, all three are using a person's vulnerabilities to convince them to do something that each believes will help make them better.

In the first case, the Christian benefits from increasing their flock. In the second, the tulpamancer gets to help someone created a new tulpa of their own. In the third, the doctor will be getting paid to treat the patient.

In each case, both parties involved get some benefit. (Although I'd argue the tulpamancer gets the least out of it.) But in each, they're also trying to help the person who is struggling.

And... a fourth scenario... what if nobody does anything? Would it be more morally acceptable to not offer any aid that you can provide? To see someone struggling, have something that you think might be able to help them... but you choose to do nothing...

That doesn't feel right to me.

All in all, I don't agree with Christians. I don't agree with their beliefs. But I also think that if you have something that you honestly believe can help others, you should be willing to share it. And to that extent, I actually don't think they're wrong to proselytize. Because from their point of view, they're helping the people they're reaching. And in many cases, even if their God isn't "real", the help they provide and happiness it can bring is. Even if just through community and placebo, it works.

And for those who want the positive benefits of religion without the dogma attached to it, I think tulpamancy could provide a valid alternative for those who were willing to fully commit.

(If not for the fact that tulpamancy is a commitment and requires more of a buy-in than religion. The part that actually makes me not want to do this, to the level religions do, is that hosts who make tulpas from pressure will probably be more likely to abandon them. And that would obviously be terrible for that tulpa to be made just to be abandoned. I can dream idly about employing the full force of proselytizing religions, but as I said before, I won't fully employ those tactics.)

[turns-out-its-adhd]

It has been debunked that adhd meds improve focus and productivity in those without adhd. Studies showed neurotypicals who take adderall for the stimulant effect to do homework are actually less accurate and rank their productivity as higher than it really was. It’s more a placebo effect than anything. They may feel side effects of the stimulant (insomnia, for example, making it easier to stay awake), but do not focus on their tasks any better. Just fyi in regard to that one post. Misinformation is the reason I wasn’t diagnosed and suffered far longer than necessary until almost 30

Well TIL

Good.

They don't deserve extra focus and productivity, they got the lion's share already.

I hope their Ritalin fuelled dissertation sucked, and their house re-model was crappy.

[dollerinna]

hey, i have a question regarding c.ai bots in general since you're the queen of bot creation✨✨✨

if i wanna start a completely new chat with my private bot, but want it to remember my 4 star ratings, is it better to just delete all the messages or to press the 'start new chat' button?

cause i've seen different opinions online, and some say that clicking 'start new chat' resets the data sort of and it makes the bot forget what you rated the messages, and on the other hand some say that the bot only understands the ratings if you start new chat😭 and i don't know who to believe

sincerely, trying to break the damn filter and needing advice anon🩷

Hello! ✨✨ First of all, there are actually quite a few factors to consider

According to the discussions on the official c.ai subreddit, there seem to be two main perspectives regarding the rating system, which I think people should be aware of:

One is that the rating system does help train the bot and allow the ai to know what kind of messages you prefer, which suggests that the ratings do have a direct influence.

While another is that the rating system is feedback only for the devs, not the bot itself. Meaning that it has no effect on future messages (and if you think there’s an effect, then ppl claim it’s just a placebo effect lol)

Both answers were given by two different mods of the subreddit, so I’m not certain which answer is the truth (And I’m aware that the official C.AI handbook on the website says rating messages does help train bots, but a lot of people have said that C.AI don’t even know what they’re talking about half of the time sooo 🤷‍♀️)

So just keep both of these in mind cuz I don’t wanna spread misinformation 😂

Now as for my personal opinion.. I believe the rating system does have some value, but perhaps not as much as many people assume. I think most of the training comes from the messages you select more than anything.

Because in all honesty, I personally don’t even 4-star messages that contain explicit content. However, the reason I do tend to get filter breaks easily is due to the sheer amount of times I've done it repeatedly over time.

I have a theory that each user’s account maintains its own unique database of chat logs from all the characters you've ever interacted with. So, for example, if you break the filter multiple times while chatting with ‘Character A’, I believe you'll then be able to more easily break the filter when roleplaying with any other character as well, since it's drawing from the same underlying user-specific database. (Again, just a theory. A character.ai theory-)

So basically, it's not necessarily the rating system acting as the primary factor, but rather what you have accumulated in your chat history and the filter-breaking patterns associated with your account. The database of past interactions seems to play a bigger role than the rating system alone.

Excuse the lengthy reply! But basically, you’re free to start a new chat! I don’t think you’ll “lose” your progress 💗

BTW- one more thing! there are more details on why people think the rating system is feedback for the devs only, but I’m not smart enough to lay out the specifics 😭😭😭 There are some posts on the subreddit where they go into the whole mechanics and the technological aspects behind it, so feel free to check it out if you wanna know more!