#the neurotypical experience is not my forte

[turns-out-its-adhd]

It has been debunked that adhd meds improve focus and productivity in those without adhd. Studies showed neurotypicals who take adderall for the stimulant effect to do homework are actually less accurate and rank their productivity as higher than it really was. It’s more a placebo effect than anything. They may feel side effects of the stimulant (insomnia, for example, making it easier to stay awake), but do not focus on their tasks any better. Just fyi in regard to that one post. Misinformation is the reason I wasn’t diagnosed and suffered far longer than necessary until almost 30

Well TIL

Good.

They don't deserve extra focus and productivity, they got the lion's share already.

I hope their Ritalin fuelled dissertation sucked, and their house re-model was crappy.

[derivativealigner]

Well, I’m done rewatching season 2 of south park and I’ve taken plenty of notes and screenshots to document all the facts and tidbits I thought were interesting or just funny. Under the cut is a collection of notes where I progressively start caring more and more about fake children

Kenny’s house is full of empty bottles, his family eats frozen waffles for dinner, and his dad is drinking at the dinner table

Kenny’s and Kyle’s dads have some history. They were best friends as teenagers

Kenny’s dad is kind of anti-Semitic, he says Kyle’s dad was successful because he’s Jewish

Cartman kind of expresses agreement with Stuart’s anti-Semitism, which I think is the first time Cartman’s been clearly anti-Semitic

Kenny’s house has rats, but his room has lights that shut off when you clap twice

WOW KYLE wtf he says “Kenny's not really my friend, Ma. I don't give a rat's ass about him.” FUCKING RUDE

Kyle and Kenny have a fun little sleepover where they play “ookie mouth”, a game where they take turn spitting in each other’s mouths. This episode (S02E10 Chickenpox) is great for fans of K2 despite how absolutely disgusting ookie mouth is

The McCormick house was something Stuart and Gerald built as teenagers. A fort in Stuart’s mom’s backyard

Gerald went to community college

Gerald and Stuart have a fun fist fight by a pond

Kyle makes a haiku: Fatass Cartman was / not on the school bus today. / What a big, fat turd.

Kenny makes a haiku: When you rub your dick, / you might find a discharge that / winds up on the floor.

Kyle makes another: Ass full of pork fat / jiggles like a Jello mold. / Mouth is flapping, too.

And another by Kyle: I bet you don't win. / They don't let big fat asses / perform on TV.

Cartman responds: Shut your God-damned mouth / or else I'm... gonna... kick you / square in the balls... asshole

I spy with my desperate eye the beginnings of Craig’s gang, featuring Kenny with wonky eyes

Bebe thinks Kyle has a hot ass and she’s not shy about saying it

Bebe writes a note to Kyle, and Stan tries to pass it on but Mr. Garrison thinks it’s Stan’s note for Kyle and makes him read it out loud. So he reads: “Dear Kyle. You have got such a great ass. I could sleep for days on those perked cheeks, let me tell you. I'd like to live with you and wear your ass as a hat for all eternity.” (If that happened to me I’d be embarrassed forever)

POV: You’re Stan and you just said you love Kyle’s juicy ass in front of the whole 3rd grade class

The first time Stan’s mom and dad get a divorce is in S02E12, way sooner than I remembered

Bebe kisses Kyle when they’re playing truth or dare in their clubhouse, probably Kyle’s first kiss. Kyle thinks it’s disgusting (despite having played ookie mouth with Kenny which is arguably more disgusting)

Bebe breaks up with Kyle and goes off with Clyde, who says “Bitchin’ 😎”. Later Clyde is with Bebe, Stan, and Wendy at the club house

Cartman and Kyle have a fist fight once again. Kyle hated Cartman way more than Stan did very early on, kind of all along really, they truly were destined to be arch enemies

Kenny has food stamps

Oh, and Cartman’s made poor jokes about Kenny and twice (I think) Kenny has punched him in retaliation in the past 2 seasons. Kenny’s family is probably a bad and violent example for him

By the way, if you’ve ever wondered what Kenny says in the theme song but never looked it up, in seasons 1-2 he sings “I like girls with big fat titties, I like girls with deep vaginas” but in the remastered versions of seasons 1-2 (which is the version I’m watching) they changed it to the season 3-5 lyrics: “I have got a ten-inch penis, use you mouth if you wanna clean it”.

When an evil twin version of Cartman says nice things, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny stare at him in horror. Stan says, “Dude, this is creepy.”

Also, the boys say dude a lot. At least Stan, Kyle, and Kenny do, Cartman not as much

Kenny’s mom hits him when he’s hogging the blanket from his brother. Kenny makes a sad face and it made me feel bad :(

When evil twin Cartman comes to give the McCormicks some supplies, Kenny’s dad asks if that was his “fat, racist, foul-mouthed friend” so Cartman clearly has a reputation

When Stan gets scared of his evil fish, he wakes Shelly up and she slaps him. Their mom sees it and says nothing

But on the other hand his mom buries a body that Stan’s fish killed because she thinks he killed it so I guess she’s not entirely a bad mom

Kenny was supposed to buy a pumpkin for Halloween but he could only afford a squash and his friends are really mean about it. The more I watch the more I feel bad for Kenny (and Stan)

Cartman kind of has a shitty friendship with Kenny. He says “I hate you Kenny” because of the squash

Kyle is really annoyed by Cartman saying “hella” all the time, nobody else is as annoyed

Evil Cartman sings a cute little song while wielding a knife: You guys / are my best friends, / through thick and thin, / we've always been together! / We're four of a kind, / having fun all day, / palling around and laughing away. / Just best friends, / best friends are we!

Stan still has his dog, Sparky, in season 2

After Stan’s fish kills Kenny, Kenny’s mom comes over to ask about her son and she’s drunk and upset. Honestly seeing Kenny die all the time makes me kind of sad

Stan says Kenny’s squash isn’t a bad little squash. Very heartwarming. The squash gets first prize at the pumpkin carving contest :)

Cartman’s grandma and extended family live in Nebraska

When the boys go to Cartman’s family to have Christmas dinner, Kenny’s dad tells him to take any leftovers and bring them back home (he does it very gently and Kenny just says “okay” and why do I care that this fake child dies all the time and barely has food at home, like why the fuck do I care so much???)

Cartman’s mom is wearing glasses when she drives. She doesn’t do it in the later seasons but maybe she has contacts

Cartman and his mom sing a road trip song for 4 hours. Kyle says “please stop” but when they ignore him, he kicks Cartman’s seat and makes Cartman hit his head

Stan has a complicated relationship with his family, he says they’re dead to him because they didn’t want him to go on a road trip to Nebraska so Stan went without telling them

Kenny doesn’t eat at the dinner table with Cartman’s family, he just shoves the food in a bag :( I feel so bad for him

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny all hit Cartman after they wake in the night to make sure they’re not dreaming

Under his coat, Cartman wears a pink tank top that says BEEFCAKE. He wore it in S1E02 Weight Gain 2000

Charles Manson invites Kenny to go to a more secluded location and Kenny just says okay and goes, but honestly he should know better since he’s aware that he keeps dying

Cartman bonks his cousin Elvin on the head and gives him brain damage. Elvin gets better though

THE NEXT EPISODE IS GNOMES!!! TWEEEEEK!!!!

Token gets named when he’s put in a group with Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, and Pip. Craig’s gang is getting closer to becoming a thing!!

IT’S OUR FUCKING BOY TWEEK TWEAK BITCH YEEEEAAAH

Tweek says he’s awake at 3:30am because he can’t sleep, ever

Jesus, Tweek’s dad kind of sucks immediately. He says he might have to sell Tweek to slavery if his coffee shop goes out of business

Cartman says Kenny’s family is happy being poor and on welfare, “right, Kenny?” and Kenny says “fuck you” which is completely justified

When the underpants gnomes don’t appear, Tweek is worried he’s going insane and pulls on his hair

His parents say Tweek is jittery and anxious just because he has ADD (but the kind of severe jitteriness and anxiety Tweek has isn’t a symptom of primarily inattentive ADHD, even though people with ADHD do experience restlessness and can even have some tics and are more likely to have anxiety as a comorbid disorder than a neurotypical person is, but I mean come on, we all know Tweek’s slurping way too much coffee so even if he has ADHD beneath all that, his parents should stop giving him coffee and they definitely should not start lacing it with meth. Basically what I’m saying is that Tweek’s parents are full of shit)

Actually Tweek’s mom is kind of okay. She tells Tweek’s dad that he’s being shitty for using kids to advance his agenda. But… the agenda is against big corporations and I hate to say it but Tweek’s dad kind of has a point

Ew, the boys are giving a pro big corporations speech. That aged really poorly considering how shitty billionaires are

Aww, look at Kenny! He got scared of a crocodile that Steve Irwin is about to bother by jamming his thumb up its butthole

The boys are really excited about Steve Irwin jamming his thumb up a crocodile’s butthole

Oh my God, Kyle calls Cartman a fatass penis

Kenny is a mediator between Stan and Kyle. They ask him which one found this ice man in a cave first, but Kenny just deflects and agrees with Kyle’s name suggestion (Steve) for the ice man

I kind of like Dr. Mephesto. I’m glad he came back for Fractured But Whole

Stan and Kyle are having a terrible fight about who found the ice man. Kyle says they’re not best friends anymore and that Cartman is his new best friend and Cartman says “Sweet!”, then Stan claims Cartman as his new best friend and Cartman says “Killer!”

This prehistoric ice man episode is actually funny, I love it

Stan and Kyle are having a fight to the death

They reconcile and become best friends again. They both agree that Cartman’s a sucky best friend

Well, that was the last episode of the season. This was fun. South Park is actually a fun show

Kenny deaths:

S02E10 Kenny is in the hospital because of chicken pox. He laughs at Cartman’s joke so hard that his heart flatlines like beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

S02E11 Kenny’s head explodes after Stan and Kyle make him watch planetarium lights at a high intensity

S02E12 Kenny gets trampled in a mosh pit

S02E13 A cow impales Kenny’s head with its horn

S02E14 Ozzy Osbourne bites Kenny’s head off

S02E15 Kenny is killed by Stan’s evil fish, he gets spun in the fish tank until the water’s red

S02E16 The police shoot Kenny who came outside with a white flag during a hostage situation, then the police hit his dead body with a baton and handcuff him

S02E17 Kenny gets crushed by the underpants gnomes’ mine cart. The gnomes are horrified but Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Tweek are kinda like whatever

S02E18 Kenny gets squished underneath a conveyer belt

Onto the next season I go. I’ll watch the movie too since it was released around halfway through season 3

[honey-dewey]

Random Dewey Finn headcanons (?) I came up with while eating my breakfast

Before Dewey wanted to be a big rock star, he wanted to be an astronaut. 

His aunt gave him his first guitar for his 10th birthday, thus sparking his love of rock music. 

One of the major reasons he never quit music was because of that aunt. She passed away early, and was constantly the only member of his family that truly believed in him. 

Dewey’s mum was kind of absent, so he was raised primarily by his dad. 

Dewey and Ned met on the first day of high school, and were inseparable for all four years. 

Despite both of them liking both, Dewey likes Star Wars more, while New prefers Star Trek. They have debates of epic proportion over which of these preferences is better. Dewey somehow always wins. 

One of the reasons Ned let Dewey live with him is because Dewey is an amazing cook. He never eats what he makes though. 

His specialty is breakfast foods

While he may be an amazing home cook, he’s an even better baker. 

Dewey is highly sensitive to textures, especially food and fabrics. 

Because of this, he rarely tries new foods, sticking to a decently firm schedule. (He really likes hard boiled eggs) 

It’s also why he likes sweater vests. The actual sweater doesn’t touch his skin, but he can rub his hands up and down the knit when he gets overwhelmed. 

He’s also sensitive to criticism. Along with that, he cries easily. 

After the whole School of Rock incident, Dewey did some quick online classes on teaching. When a music teacher position at Horace Green opened up, he was the first one contacted to fill it. 

During SoR shows, Dewey has a tendency to get very hyped, and this eventually leads to a collapse, usually on the bus ride home. It happened once on stage, where he just went still and quiet all of a sudden and then began to panic. 

All of his kids know exactly what to do during his collapses. 

They made him (yes made him) a stress doll. It weighs about twenty pounds and looks like a panda. They lay it across Dewey’s chest and let him lie down on a blanket. The kids then surround him to make a protective barrier. It’s a very effective method. 

It took almost thirty years for Dewey to get diagnosed with mild autism, anxiety, ADD, and seasonal depression. His mother was a firm believer that mental illness was a hoax. 

He did try and take medication for it, right when he started teaching full-time. It made him nauseous and tired and so unlike himself that he quit after three months, a decision that was fully backed by his students. 

He eventually did go back and get a new prescription for his ADD. It works surprisingly well and doesn’t make him act any less like himself. 

This isn’t even a Headcanon. It’s straight up actual canon from the Broadway.com Stick it to the Man video! Dewey stims! He knocks his wrists together and does the raptor hands! (I don’t think his hands were truly by his side at any point during the entire show) He taps his feet and shakes his hands! His facial expressions are always on 10 and he scronches his face when he’s excited! His head go bop! He’s a stimming Boi!

Also have you ever seen a neurotypical person dress like that? Ever? Nope. Sweater vests and jeans and sneakers (that look like heelys) is not a neurotypical outfit. 

Dewey doesn’t like rainy weather, nor does he like the cold bite of winter. He has a heater and a happy light in his classroom for rainy and/or cold days. 

His favorite season is fall. He really really likes to step on leaves and hear that satisfying crunch. 

Dewey also has a weakened immune system, and is pretty vigilant about his health. He takes vitamins and vitamin D supplements, and yet always ends up with some kind of illness in winter. Despite this, he refuses to get any kind of flu shot. 

Dewey’s list of phobias includes: needles, heights, clowns, and the dark. 

He’s dead terrified of the dentist. Ned has to practically drag him every time. It’s not even that he has poor dental hygiene or has actual odontophobia, he just hates the experience. The combination of strong smells and uncomfortable touches and horrible noises overwhelms him so much. 

For much of the same reasons as his hatred of the dentist, Dewey dreads getting his hair cut. Social interaction mixed with weird feelings on his surprisingly sensitive head and the constant background noise and the hair spray-y smell make it an experience Dewey’s hated since childhood. Now, Ned usually cuts Dewey’s hair because he’s really not picky about how it looks, and Ned knows exactly how to go about the job without causing Dewey to hyperventilate and cry. 

He uses a night light! It’s the fun kind that projects stars on the ceiling. 

Dewey is the king of field trips. He’s always just as eager as the kids to go, and he loves to learn niche facts. His favorite field trip location is the aquarium. 

Dewey quit drinking after his 23rd birthday, when he blacked out and woke up in some random girl’s bed. She promised they didn’t do it, but ever since then, he’s terrified it’ll happen again. 

Speaking of which, Dewey’s a virgin. 

Once, one of Dewey’s female students came to him and said an older man was following her to and from school every day. Dewey was later suspended from work for a week for punching a man and putting him in the hospital. Once they knew why, the school board unanimously decided not to punish him. 

Dewey absolutely insists all of his kids call him Dewey and not Mr. Finn. 

He’s the most supportive teacher in the entire school. He’s got name tags on every desk with each kid’s preferred name and pronouns. When Billy comes out as non-binary, he makes the pronoun switch immediately and puts a beautiful stained glass-esque progress pride flag in one of his windows. 

Someone hatefully vandalized said pride art project and Dewey actually cried. His kids all banded together to make a new one. 

Sometimes, the kids purposefully ask Dewey to sing certain things because his voice gets so damn tender and beautiful, as opposed to the usual bombastic singing they’re used to. (Think like. Some of the 35MM songs) 

Dewey has a routine with his drinks throughout the day. Two cups of coffee in the morning, one at home and one at work. One water bottle before lunch and one after lunch. A Gatorade or some other fitness drink after school, usually during band practice to make up for how sweaty he gets. And one cup of lavender citrus tea with extra honey after dinner. 

He broke his only water bottle about four months into teaching full-time and started to use a plastic one every day. Ned decided that wouldn’t do, and got him a Mandalorian water bottle. Dewey loves it to bits. 

Dewey doesn’t celebrate any one version of a holiday. He’s equal opportunity for any and all holidays, but he grew up Jewish. That doesn’t stop him from helping Ned put up his Christmas tree every year. Nor does it stop him from celebrating Yule with his online friends. 

Despite being Jewish and mainly celebrating their holidays, Dewey loves Christmas music and starts playing it as soon as he can. The kids dare him to hit those ridiculous Mariah Carey high notes in All I Want For Christmas. He does it. 

He also once sang ‘Little Drummer Boy’ to his kids the day before holiday break. He only played his guitar softly and by the time he was done, each and every kid was fast asleep. (He played Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer as well) 

Dewey absolutely collects soft blankets. He has four halloween ones, two Tim Burton ones (a Beetlejuice and a Corpse Bride), eight winter holiday blankets, and three miscellaneous. He brought them all into class once and built a blanket fort to teach his kids about ancient civilization. 

Speaking of which, his teaching methods are unorthodox at best, and at worst downright crazy. But he always teaches and he always makes it memorable. His class has the highest test scores in the school. 

Dewey usually teaches using music or hands on activities. He plays soft background music during every class no matter the circumstances, and said screw the building’s lights and uses primarily lamps and strings of Christmas lights. 

He also kind of forgets that he teaches essentially middle school, and he swears every so often when he’s super passionate. Like when he taught the kids about the US Presidents and called Andrew Jackson a racist bitch and Richard Nixon a lying bastard. 

After getting bullied throughout all of high school, Dewey came to terms with what his body looked like, and now he really doesn’t care. (He did have a lot of fun smashing the scale his mother got him for his birthday once) 

Dewey was supposed to teach his kids about mental illness for a suicide prevention thing the school did, but got about halfway through before he had a breakdown and the kids declared the rest of the day a bust. They watched cute animated movies instead of learning for the rest of the school day. 

Speaking of animated movies, Dewey really loves Studio Ghibli. 

The first time one of his kids called him ‘Dad’ he cried. Then they kept doing it and now he’s had to accept that he’s basically a father to about 30 11-year-olds. 

If you ask any kid in the school who their favorite teacher is, they will not hesitate to answer ‘Mr. Finn.’ Even if they aren’t in his class, he’s their favorite. 

Dewey’s classroom is always open for lunch. It’s quiet and calm, usually with a movie going in the background. 

He also stays after school for about an hour every day, helping kids with homework. He hates math with a passion but that didn’t stop him from trying to figure out Katie’s math homework with her. 

Even at home, Dewey cannot stand the quiet. He either has his headphones on or the radio going. Silence just isn’t an option. 

Dewey once got pneumonia and tried to come in to work anyway. The kids made him go home. He didn’t really put up much of a fight. 

The first instrument Dewey ever learned to play was the piano. He started to learn when he was super young, and that was how he learned how to read music. His kids didn’t even know he knew how to play until they walked in on him practicing one day. 

Dewey says ‘fuck gender roles’ and wears the girl’s skirts to a few SoR concerts. He likes the way it makes his legs look. 

Some jerk parents constantly tried to get Dewey in trouble for months because they didn’t like him and thought he wasn’t ‘high class’ enough for their kid’s education. Dewey was so stunned when they showed up during one of his classes that he couldn’t speak and just started to cry. Said student stood up and called their parents out. Two days later, those parents were off the school board. 

Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, Dewey found out a new kid he’d received was being abused at home because they weren’t getting high enough grades and he yelled at the kid’s parents in front of all the other staff members. 

Essentially, Dewey can’t defend himself at all, but will not hesitate to protect his kids. 

Dewey has said multiple times he would die for his kids. He’s always 100% serious, especially during lockdown drills. 

Once, the school had a lockdown that wasn’t a drill, and Dewey managed to keep his entire class silent and calm while mentally preparing himself to lay his life down for his kids. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that. 

Dewey’s also said he’d seriously consider adopting any of the kids if their at-home situation was that bad. 

When he finally could, Dewey moved out of Ned’s house and into his own cramped loft apartment. He’s in love with the apartment, even though it’s tiny and kinda smells. 

Dewey has almost no concept of volume control. He’s slightly deaf from constantly doing very loud shows and sometimes shouts because he thinks that’s a normal speaking volume. 

As one of, if not the actual, youngest teachers at the school, Dewey is universally adored by the rest of the staff. It took a while for all of them to get on board with him, but now they all really like him. 

Dewey’s favorite fruit is pomegranate. There’s just something super cathartic about cutting into a pomegranate and slowly de-seeding it. Plus, it tastes super good. But he only likes them if he can de-seed them himself. 

One of the ways Dewey grounds himself is by pressing things to his mouth. He usually just puts his hand up on his face or the end of a pen in his mouth, but whenever he has a blanket, one corner is up against his lips. The same goes for stuffed animals. They’re always against his face. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. 

[whatthefluffnightvale]

Adding my two cents as someone who has family members that are autistic: all of my autistic family members frequently go hunting, and they’re very good at it. Non of my neurotypical family members go hunting/ are good at it.

My cousin has designed several deer blinds (think fort you sit to shoot out of) that have nice comfy carpet he can walk around in his socks on, with gaming chairs he can lean back in comfortably and not be stuck in one painful position, lots of blankets to be comfy, book shelf because his phone doesn’t have signal, and food and drinks. There’s one deer blind that is a giant tree house, and to avoid having to pee off the top of it he installed a urinal.

Him and all my other family member have vast amount of knowledge on guns, ammo and other explosives that I wish I had.

So at least in a modern sense and in my experience, yeah autistics can hunt.

Do you think autistic people would make good hunters? It's for a fanfiction.

https://www.intechopen.com/chapters/43239

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=163789

https://www.zmescience.com/science/news-science/autism-stone-age-evolution/

Wrong type of aspec blog, but as an autistic former community college anthropology student here’s my two cents:

I think it’s possible for an autistic person to be a good neolithic hunter, but there’d be some challenges. Here’s a few things you might consider if you’re writing an autistic character as a stone age hunter:

Since hunting as a group requires non-verbal communication skills I think that could put an autistic person at a disadvantage. It could be mitigated by a lot of preplanning and deciding on specific hand signals beforehand, but we might miss things because we avoid eye contact.

A common autistic trait is a heightened sensitivity to senses, which would be a mixed bag in hunting. On one hand, they might be better at tracking animals through their senses, but hunting environments may also be overwhelming to an autistic person, especially with the added stress of being responsible for your community’s food and just the adrenaline rush that someone is bound to have while hunting. I think it would be interesting to see how an autistic hunter would respond to different hunting environments. Like participating in a buffalo run vs hunting a deer in a forest with a spear would be very different experiences. 

Speaking of weapons, I do think the type would matter more with an autistic person. Motor difficulties are common so I think the weapon will matter. They might not be great at coordinating with a knife, but we might hyperfixate on something like archery and get really good at it. Then there’s types of hunting that don’t require a weapon at all, like the buffalo run I mentioned before. That one often involved riding on horseback, which would be another interesting dynamic because strong bonds with animals is another autistic trait that could be explored. One time my class got to use atlatls and I was the only non-athlete to hit the target, though I’m not sure if that was an autistic thing.

I definitely think autistic people would be in the planning aspec of hunts, we tend to be creative and do a lot of thinking (as evidenced by this response lmao). That and making/designing tools. Of course if we really got into it the perfectionism would be another struggle, but that’s something that’s bound to happen with pretty much anything any job or activity we enjoy. It would be interesting to see how they’d deal with the anxiety in that situation.

From my understanding humans would’ve only worked a couple hours a day then, which is a lot more manageable for autistic people than the 40+ hour weeks of today. It would give us a lot of breaks, which is great for preventing meltdowns and burnout.

[greathalesonfire]

omg wtf is this what's atypical i'm in love with both of them pls share more

Hi!! 

Thanks for asking and giving me an excuse to talk about the show because I’m so in love with it!

Atypical is mainly about Sam, a teenager with autism, but it’s also about his family and about how they are affected by Sam’s autism. All the characters are so well thought out and all of them feel real and flawed and I get why they do what they do (except for the mom, I really dislike the mom). 

I feel like season 2 is better than season 1, because they introduced characters who have autism irl, and they were all really good and gosh, I love them and hope we’ll see more of them next season! Sadly the actor playing Sam doesn’t have autism irl and I’ve seen some criticism towards his portrayal but (as a neurotypical who doesn’t have autism but has worked with kids with autism) I feel like, while he’s only one example of what autism can look like, he’s good representation.I’m really happy they included real people with autism, though.

Okay, so spoilers ahead for season two, don’t read if you don’t want to know. 

Anyway! My absolute favorite character is Sam’s sister, Casey. She’s an athlete and she’s funny and caring and has it really hard sometimes but she’s so so good. In season 2 she switches school and meets… Izzie! They’re a true enemies to friends to lovers trope and PLEASE LET THEM BE TOGETHER! 

Casey’s realization it’s more than friendship comes so gradually and naturally and I feel like a lot of bisexuals can relate. You know you like men, so you don’t immediately assume the things your feeling for your friend are romantic feelings because you’re straight, right?!?!?! Ha! 

Listen! In one episode they build a blanket fort and Casey reads to Izzie and they are so SOFT! At one point I was really afraid they were going to let Casey fall for Izzie’s boyfriend but they didn’t, instead they just made it gayer! 

Their handholding in the last episode nearly killed me. I’m a sucker for handholding.

I also love how seemingly every girl in the show has a thing for Casey (like, at least two girls stare dreamily at her while sighing about how pretty she is) and even the mom apparently had a relationship with a girl once and it’s not played out as an experiment but it seems like she actually was in love with her (I still hate the mom though, sorry)

Nothing has really happened so far so I’m praying for a third season and more of them! 

EDIT: ALSO OMG I love how many times they say they love each other!!! GOOD STUFF MY DUDE, GOOD STUFF

[igetcha]

How Autistic Obsessions Happen

Obsessions give us a turf in a world that loves to push us aside, a chance to feel like winners in a world that loves to make us feel like losers, and a sense of control chaotic. overwhelming world. Many autistics develop obsessions with whatever they happen to be good at as a kid. If people are impressed, we’re extra likely to go down the rabbit hole. If there are rewards, we zip down it with supersonic speed.

Things get more complicated as we get older. People aren’t as easily impressed and the rewards are fewer and farther between. Sometimes we get there in grade school, sometimes grad school, sometimes never. Depending when we get there, our obsession(s) can comprise a big part of our identity, enough to make it worth holding onto regardless of the consequences. It’s a lot more empowering to be an outsider with a niche than a nobody.

Behind our dare-to-be-different vibe, we’re a lot more impressionable than we let on and would go to great lengths to hold onto priorities and beliefs we subconsciously picked up from our immediate vicinity. We’re slow to notice trouble brewing but quick to adapt when we do. People often peg us as stubborn, narrow minded, and unwilling to change without realizing we just don’t see a good reason to. “Because I said so” doesn’t mean much to us but a logically grounded argument can inspire change far deeper than the people pleasing surface stuff.

Many of us find the world of social interaction painfully fake and desperately search for truth. Given access to enough broad and balanced information, we can get a lot farther than most people care to. Since the rise of the internet, we hear more stories of autistics getting involved in activism, often on their own accord. We’re capable of being true individuals, staters, and leaders, yet many of us get stuck in Rain Man land because that’s where we’re told we belong from a young age.

Our society starts labeling people as leaders, followers, task robots etc. way too young. The idea of proving yourself to make it to the next level makes sense in an interdependent adult society, but when forced on kids, it deters unconventional learning styles. We regard school as a predictor for future success but all it really shows is our ability to follow a prewritten script. Many people find passion and talent for fields that were not their forte in school later in life. Yet, the world continues grooming us to stick to what it knows rather than what it needs.

New roads aren’t trusted until they meet predetermined validation standards. While this keeps us safe in the construction industry, it holds us back when applied to who we support, listen to, or even give the time of day. Through compensating for impairments, we develop unique skill sets and thought processes, which you’ll usually never hear about because we grow up translating them into neurotypical speak and sometimes aren’t even aware of our differences.

I’m not suggesting that we analyze each other under a microscope. In fact, my #1 pet peeve is lay people playing therapist. What I am advocating for is a more open minded attitude toward new ideas and ways of life. It breaks my heart that many of the people in history who made the greatest impact on society lived in torment and exile, folks we’re taught to admire but not emulate, especially if we’re different.

We live in a world where being accepted is far more rewarded than being right. Acceptance tends to come from pleasing those around you, either by doing what they want when they want it or by convincing them of long-term perks to doing things differently. Those who can convince are welcomed into a larger sphere of influence while those who can’t learn to keep their thoughts to themselves.

Like any population, autistics have done both great and horrible things. While the media loves to lump us together, I believe the credit should go to the person rather than the condition. Autism influences how we think, not what we believe. It does, however, impact the kind of interactions and relationships we have that shape our beliefs.

Autistics are as capable of developing a balanced perspective as anyone else. We’re just less likely to because we tend to attract fewer people into our lives. Our difficulty making new friends makes us more dependent on the few we do have. 

Family impacts us more than most. We take it literally when our parents threaten to call the cops if we don’t eat our food. We have an especially deep need for a calm, stable environment but live in an environment that puts a strain on the families of autistics as well. If we don’t grow up feeling guilty or ashamed, we’re still likely to grow up with an atmosphere of hidden tension as our control to base life on.

For many of us, obsessions are an escape. The more esoteric, the less likely to be invaded by the more stressful aspects of our lives. We cling to them, not so much because we need them, but because we’d feel displaced without them.

While some of us obsess for life, others jump between obsessions. Personally, I need to schedule time in everyday where I’m in control. It doesn’t even really matter what I’m doing, just as long as I can take a break from the fear of disappointing everyone around me.

As an adult we often want an identity larger than a series of obsessions. We want to make an impact. Obsessions can be a great safety net in our journey to the outside world. Despite our inherent lack of flair for social situations, they can become an obsession too if we devote enough energy to them.

We develop obsessions to feel good about ourselves, sometimes in the now and sometimes with hopes for the future. The whole western world is obsessed with dating and autistics are no exception. When something causes us trouble, we tend to walk the other way or charge in with full speed.

The new Netflix dramady, “Atypical,” is a great example. Sam jumps into online dating with 0 experience and fills the void with the first pickup artist videos he finds on YouTube. Unlike most teens, Sam is isolated enough to take the words of some douche with nothing better to do as gospel. Pickup communities and hate groups love to prey on those who haven’t found acceptance elsewhere. They don’t have to be right. They just have to be first.

Giving up is the worst thing you can do for those people and society at large. If we could just make people who are different feel welcome in more constructive groups, the haters would have no army. Society paints people who are a little quirky as the enemy and pushes them down that path. The more people we give up on, the stronger the dark side grows. They’re still just regular people who want to be loved like the rest of us. They just need a logically grounded reason to change and someone to give it to them.

We’re capable of becoming obsessed with just about anything, but it comes from inspiration, not force. No matter how hard I try, I cannot convince myself I like studying for class. I love my job in the same field and I read plenty of random tech blogs but the arbitrary deadlines and grading is a major turn off for me. Maybe if people tried discouraging me from staying in school, I’d actually enjoy it. Who knows. I definitely did when I switched majors. Back then, it was my act of taking control. Now, school feels like the place I have least control.

The scope of an obsession is different for each person. I absorb tutorials like a sponge but can’t stop my mind from wandering in class. I go all-out with my makeup every month or so but rock the lazy girl look 99% of the time. I love trying new things but usually lose interest once I succeed. I know I can do it if I want to. That’s all I need. I really don’t like practicing. I feel like I could be spending my time doing so many more exciting things. I’ve gone through enough obsessions in my life to know they tend not to last for me personally, so now I’m obsessed with novelty.

Obsessions have an immense power to engage us but they don’t define us. We are as undefined and adaptable as anyone else. We just need to opportunity to grow in our own passionate way.

[scriptautistic]

Masterpost: Autism and Romance

In honor of Valentine’s day, here is a special post about being autistic and in a relationship!

For an autistic person, being in a romantic relationship can come with its unique challenges - but it can also be very rewarding, sometimes in ways that neurotypicals cannot experience.

First of all a small aside: I have no scientific source for this, but anecdotal evidence and some community surveys seem to suggest that autistics are more likely that the general population to be asexual and/or aromantic. But I’d also like to note that while we are often infantilized and portrayed as uninterested in/ unable of having romantic and sexual relationships, many of us do want and have such relationships. So whichever way you decide to go with your autistic characters will be realistic, though it would be very nice to see autistic people in happy relationships get some more representation.

Here is a second aside: I will talk in this post about healthy relationships and the challenges and rewards that come with them, but many autistic people get stuck in abusive relationships because we can be easy “preys”. I won’t get in more depth about this in this post but it’s a good thing to keep in mind.

Now that this is said, let’s get into the heart (HAHA, get it, because it’s Valentine’s day) of the matter. First of all, before your character is in a relationship, they have to find one. This can be particularly difficult for an autistic person. Our social skills in the area of flirting are usually not very good, or even completely inexistent. We tend to be very blunt and honest when communicating our feelings (not true of everyone of course but it’s a general tendency), which can do it for some but usually throws people off. We can also have a lot of difficulty with recognizing when we are being flirted with or when someone is interested in us, which makes reciprocating even more difficult. Many of us also have a problem with the concept of flirting in itself: in addition to not knowing how to do it, we can have trouble understanding its purpose. My reasoning goes along the lines of “I don’t know this person well enough to know if I’d want a relationship with them, so I’d rather get to know them better before doing anything”. So our idea of flirting can often be “let’s make friends”, which others might translate as “they’re not interested”. We can also have quite different ways of showing our love and affection, so that doesn’t help.

But your character, like many of us is charming, passionate and quirky in a way that people find cute, and they end up finding a person who goes past their initial awkwardness and becomes their significant other. Great!

Here are, in no particular order, some challenges the pair might encounter and have to work around. I’ll talk about some possible solutions, but just like in any relationship, the one magical thing is communication!

If the autistic person has alexythymia (trouble understanding one’s feelings and emotions), their feelings for their partner or for other people can be unclear even to them, which can cause frustration, jealousy, and tension in the relationship. Working out what the feelings are can take a lot of time, so in that situation, the partner would have to be patient and understanding of their significant other’s issues.

If the autistic person in the relationship is nonverbal or can’t pass for neurotypical at all, there can be issues of ableism, especially if their partner is allistic. While they can of course love their autistic partner very much, they might feel a bit ashamed, especially when introducing them to other people such as their parents. Ableism also takes time to be unlearned, and in this kind of situation educating the third parties about autism can be very useful so they don’t make insensitive comments which would just make the situation worse.

The autistic person will probably have trouble picking up on their partner’s body language and nonverbal communication, and might not realize for instance if they’re upset, uncomfortable with something or if they need something. This can be a breeding ground for resentment. The best way to counteract this is for the autistic character to tell their partner about their difficulty and asking very explicit questions such as “How do you feel about this?” or “Are you okay?” quite often. Over all, a couple or relationship with at least one autistic person in it will probably require a lot more explicit, direct, open communication than a neurotypical relationship to work smoothly.

If they live together, the autistic character might struggle with not having their own space in which they can unwind, recover from sensory overload, or have meltdowns/shutdowns in private. Possible solutions could be everyone having their separate rooms -if it is possible at all, and even if they sleep in the same bed most of the time -, the autistic person having their small private space (a blanket fort for instance), or the autistic person having a simple signal which means “I need some alone time, could you please step out for a bit”. Once again, these boundaries need to be made clear and explicit: if the partner gets into the autistic’s private space, it could be okay or it could feel like an intrusion depending on the person.

Sensory issues can interfere with the more physical aspects of the relationship, such as kissing, cuddling, or sleeping in the same bed. The beginning of the relationship will probably be a kind of trial-and-error process to find habits which work and are enjoyable for everyone involved. This is especially true if sex is a component of the relationship. Some autistic people don’t tolerate being touched at all, which will probably make sex impossible or unilateral (them being comfortable with touching their partner but not with their partner reciprocating). Others don’t mind being touched (at least by their partner) but might be very particular in terms of what they like and don’t like. So their partner should be adaptable and work with them to find something which is good for everyone. If the autistic person doesn’t want or cannot bear sex/physical affection, their partner has to be willing to forego it in this relationship, or it probably won’t work at all. In this area too, lots of workarounds can be found, so be creative!

If the autistic character is significantly disabled by their autism and if they live with their partner, the latter might end up - willingly or not - being their caretaker, and they might have to do more things for them than they would have to do for a neurotypical partner. There probably are solutions to this problem if the partner is not ready to take on this role, such as hiring a professional caretaker (which is obviously not possible for everybody), but I’d say being upfront about one’s needs (and this goes for everyone involved in the relationship!) is key here.

Once again, the autistic person might not express affection in a typical way, which might leave their partner(s) feeling unloved. This problem can be solved by explicit communication (of the autistic person’s feeling and/or of what kind of attentions their partner would need to feel loved).

These are just some examples, and there are many other issues which can arise from one partner’s autism, or for completely unrelated reasons, just like in any relationship.

But since this is Valentine’s day, after all, it would be sad to just dwell on relationship problems. So let’s have a bit of celebration too! Here are some reasons a relationship can be awesome for an autistic person in particular.

Physical affection can feel really, really good, in a way that most neurotypicals probably wouldn’t understand. Since we’re often very sensitive, the slightest caress, hair stroking… can feel awesome and send shivers down your character’s spine (and I’m not talking sexual pleasure here). Many of us also really like pressure, so hugs and cuddles can be really enjoyable. Physical affection in general can help us fulfill our sensory needs and keep us from being understimulated.

Living with a partner who is understanding of your sensory difficulties can be awesome for sharing tasks if some household tasks, such as cleaning the sink or cooking a specific kind of food, is one of your character’s sensory issues. This is also true for other practical things which can be very difficult, such as ordering food when the couple is eating out.

If your character has trouble making friends, they can probably take advantage of their partner’s friends circle to fulfill all of their social needs; making friends is easier when you have someone to introduce you and a reason to spend time together in the first place.

Being in a relationship with someone often means spending a lot of time with them, and being very familiar with the way they behave and communicate. Having someone that doesn’t ask you why you’ve gone nonverbal, understands your weird language shortcuts and can read what your stims are expressing is a very good feeling. Being understood and not having to explain yourself all the time is a really good feeling. Knowing that someone “gets you” is a really good feeling.

Plus, of course, all of the good stuff that a relationship brings to everyone, autistic or not, such as feeling loved and cared for and knowing that someone has got your back :)