#is a very interesting way to think about buildings

[scamanderishredmayniac]

I was once called a curious writer, by someone who had read snippets of an original piece I was working on some many years ago. I had never heard of anyone saying that before at the time. It felt bizarre, I knew what it meant to be a curious reader, but not a curious writer. I’m not 100% sure, but I think it was because I was allowing readers to explore the character’s past story, exploring why they felt and behaved in a certain way. She said something about how she liked how I was building up character and giving back story. The reality was I knew these characters inside out, well sort of. They had history outside the story in my mind, and personality such that were not on the page. I imagined a whole set of people as though they were real in this strange town I had written about. I wanted the reader to explore these people, to see into the characters minds, and explore their world. I’ll admit I didn’t know everything about the town they were living in, and the only thing at the time I was exploring was the town and its history. The only thing I explored and was curious about in the characters, or at least 3 of them was their feelings for each other.

I hadn’t been in a relationship at the time, I hadn’t experienced falling in love and finding someone, and only added a sort of love storyline because a friend asked me too. So my curiosity as a writer was to explore that side of things. So maybe this reader saw that, I don’t know. I just got the gist that it meant something very good. I’m not even sure why I’m rambling like an idiot when i should be climbing into bed and going to sleep, especially when I said I wouldn’t come onto tumblr for a month. Oops! I just saw a friend had reblogged this, and it made me think of that comment left on my work. I don’t know why i had to share this ling rambly story, but I quite liked being called a curious writer. It’s been a long time since I got such a compliment that made me feel good about my writing.

Basically being a curious writer is apparently a good thing and makes one’s story interesting. And it should really be a widely spread piece of advice to potential writers to be curious of what you’re writing.

“Be curious about what you’re writing about” is not stock Common Writing Advice but it really, really should be. There are a lot of written works that fail due to the authors just being obviously incurious about what they are writing about.

[i-like-loserz]

Sorry for asking but do you do twt links?

yes i do — and it's for sub!san 🤭

i call this one: failed cockwarming

cw: smut (18+), nsfw link, sub!san, praise kink, edging, overstimulation, m!squirting, cockwarming (obvi), piv + unprotected

note: there's nothing i love more than a whiny, desperate man, completely lost for the touch of his partner...(did not mean to make this 1k words lol) -- also WHAT A CUTIE

NSFW LINK AND DESCRIPTION UNDER THE CUT

there's been one thing you've wanted to try with your boyfriend for a while now: cockwarming.

you've been building him up to it, knowing how desperate he gets once he's inside of you. how do you expect him to be a good patient boy while you're sitting on his cock if you don't train him?

it started with a series of edging sessions. you make him sit on the couch or against the headboard of the bed and slowly stroke him, refusing to speed up or hold him firmer. your fingers glide over the blushing silk-like skin, drawing shutters and moans from his perfect lips. he begs you sweetly, eyes already shiny with desperation, but you refuse to give in. it's for his own good, you tell yourself.

every time he tries to buck his hips against your hold, you use your other hand to hold him down, scolding him lightly for being so greedy. after bringing him to the edge a few times, he's shaking under you, cock hard and throbbing for relief. his eyes are red and wet from frustrated tears, his lips are shiny and plump from all the lip bitting, and there's a cute blush that's spread over his pretty face.

when you finally let him cum, his eyes roll to the back of his head and his flushed chest heaves beautifully from the intensity of his climax. he cums so much.

it spills over your fingers and trails down your wrist, making a mess of his lap. he whimpers desperately as you continue to stroke him. he tries to back away from the overwhelming painful pleasure of being overstimulated, but you keep pinned in his spot, interested to see how much he can handle.

he ends up having his first squirting experience, completely soaking everything around him -- including you.

"i-i'm sorry, i didn't mean to--" he's embarrassed, pouting with a blush as he stares at the soaked sheets under him. you drag your thumb over his thigh comfortingly and can't help but admire the way he shudders just from the faint touch.

"you did so good for me, sannie. you looked so pretty squirting for me like that~" the praise immediately calms him down, happy to please you and that you're not mad about the mess (but then again, you never are).

you thought this practiced restraint would help san acclimate to cockwarming. it's not like you're moving against him or anything. it's all about enjoy each other's company and the feeling of being connected. apparently there's a very big difference between your fist and your pussy.

it started off promising. you approached san with your idea:

"sannie..." you're playing with his hair delicately as he rests his head on your lap. it's a routine bonding moment that san regularly begs for. it makes him feel doted on and secure, and it usually leads to him falling asleep at the end.

he opens his eyes gently, already bleary with an adorable sleepy expression.

"mhm?"

"i was thinking..." you hum, massaging his scalp as you speak, "there's this thing that apparently brings couples closer together. it's supposed to be very comforting and intimate."

you swear, if he were a cat his ears would've been perked up at the mere mention of 'being closer' -- as if you could be any closer to each other. you practically spend every minute together.

he turns his head so he's looking at you more directly, "what is it?"

---

it's only been a few minutes and he's already whining under you. you feel so full and warm, perfectly draped over his body as he stuffs you to the brim. if it weren't for his desperate whines and the way he's throbbing inside of you, you swear you could fall asleep like this.

you've been trying to placate him with small kisses along his face and neck -- but it's only making it worse.

"it's okay, sannie, just relax." you coo, "don't think about it, i'm right here, baby..."

he whimpers softly, "i-i can't, it's -- mmph..."

he holds onto your waist firmly, trying to hold back. you can't help the way your body reacts when he squeezes you tightly with his large hands, the pressure feels amazing. you unconsciously clench around him, causing him to buck his hips against yours unsteadily with a choked out moan.

"f-fuck...sorry, baby, i didn't mean to do that~" you whisper against the heated skin of his neck. you press lazy kisses against him, already half-delirious from that scant bit of movement. "just stay here with me..."

your hands move to ghost over his chest, one of your favorite parts of his body. he's surprisingly sensitive there, gasping whenever you flick over his nipples or grope his pecs. you know you shouldn't, but you can't help the way your fingers circle around his pretty blush buds. he shivers from the contact and shallowly thrusts into you again.

"s-stop, it's too much." he lets go of your waist to grab your wrists, forcing your hands away from his chest. with misty eyes, he looks up at you, "i'm trying to be good, but i'm gonna cum if you keep doing that."

he looks fucking edible like this.

fuck it.

you take advantage of the weak hold around your wrists and push both of your arms to the top of the mattress. he looks lost as you pin him to the bed, weary eyes anticipating your next move.

"i was trying to do something new with you, but you just can't help it can you?" you tease, "so sensitive that you'll do anything to cum, hm?"

it's almost like he can't hear you, reeling from the teasing words that drip from your enticing lips.

you squeeze him within you again. that gets his attention.

"anything" he pants eagerly.

"fuck me, baby."

[spiderb00bs]

- REACH ME

Tara Carpenter x reader 

“Maybe Tara wanted to be more than your friend” 

Genre – smut    Warnings – mentions distant parents 

(request) 

Now playing – What You Need, by The Weeknd

Tara Carpenter was never very open about how she felt. She struggled with her emotions, most of the time keeping everything to herself until she couldn't take it anymore and exploded. She knew it was a bad thing to do, something that would only harm herself, but she still couldn't act any other way.   

Any feeling, anger, sadness, sometimes even happiness, Tara kept inside her, even if her heart was on the verge of exploding. Even though Tara had been doing this since she was practically a child, she still couldn't hide certain feelings from her friends. Which meant that everyone knew about Tara's huge crush on you.   

You and Tara were complicated to say the least, always flirting with each other, holding hands around the campus, kissing at some frat parties, you've certainly lost potential people who were interested in the two of you because they thought you and Tara were dating. All this just so that at the end of the day, you and Tara could raise the flag of friendship and make everyone around you want to kick your asses.  

Your friends had had enough. Holy shit! Sam had had enough. All they wanted most was to see you finally admit your feelings for each other, and believe me, they tried everything. Double dates with Anika and Mindy, going out bowling as a couple with Chad and Liv, Ethan and Bailey even tried flirting with both of you to see if you'd get any reaction, but Bailey just got scared of Tara's stares and Ethan backed off because he was sure he'd get punched by you if he stayed by Tara's side for one more second. Amber even locked you in the bathroom once! But that only earned her screams and more screams.   

At some point, everyone was convinced that you might have to figure it out on your own. They didn't know when, they didn't know where, and they certainly had no idea how close it was to happening. Which brings us to the present moment.  

You and Tara always liked to do everything together, and with a big test coming up, you and the Carpenter girl decided it would be a good idea to study together. Your house wasn't noisy, you're sure your brother would stay at his girlfriend's for many days, and your parents were never home, preferring work to spending any time with the family they decided to build themselves.   

Walking to your room - where you and Tara were studying - you carried two glasses of lemonade. Summer was coming and the cold drink seemed perfect to quench your thirst.   

“Man, this is really good.” You said, taking a sip of the liquid in the glass after handing Tara's glass to her.   

Convinced by your tone, Tara brought the glass to her lips, her eyes widening slightly when she saw that you were right. “Wow, you really know how to make something.” Tara says, mocking you.   

“Hey! Of course I know, who the hell do you think I am?”  

Practically throwing yourself into your chair, you felt yourself going slightly backwards in a jolt. Momentarily forgetting that the wheelchair would move if you threw yourself onto it. The sudden movement caused the glass to tip slightly, causing much of the liquid to splash onto your white shirt.   

“Oh, fuck!” Getting up quickly, you heard Tara laughing, glancing at the girl in time to catch her looking at you with a funny face.   

“ Dude, you're such a loser.” Laughing even harder at the scowl on your face, Tara turned around in her wheelchair, following you with her eyes as you walked towards your closet, pulling at your shirt to remove it from your body.   

“Yeah, very funny. Suck my dick, Carpenter."   

Tara knew you meant it in another way, but seeing your muscly back and catching a glimpse of your abdomen and the muscles in your arms made Tara wish you had meant it in the way she was thinking.   

Who could blame her? You were always Tara's ideal type, from the first day she saw you she knew she'd have a fucking crush on you. You were tall, strong, beautiful, had a style to envy, you were polite and funny at the same time. You were everything Tara had always asked the heavens for. But she was afraid, afraid of ruining the friendship you had created over all these years. So she kept accepting the crumbs you gave her, because that was better than losing you completely.   

You and Tara had made out before, but it never went beyond that. Tara knew you had a nice body, and she was even more sure now. With your closet doors open, Tara could see you perfectly well, innocently looking for another shirt, totally oblivious to the hungry gaze the younger Carpenter had in your direction.   

“You know, it's not a bad idea.” Frowning at what Tara had said, you continued looking for a clean, stylish shirt to wear, oblivious to Carpenter's movement around your room.  

“What?” you asked, genuinely confused when a strangely nervous Tara approached you.   

“It wouldn't be a bad idea for me to suck your dick.” In disbelief, you looked at Tara with slightly wide eyes.   

You'd never even talked about sex, let alone considered it. “You're kidding, right?”   

“Why? Do you think you can't handle me?” Tara asked, her fingers gripping the belt loops of your pants, pulling you closer and making you slightly nervous.  

“I can handle it. Can you handle it, Carpenter?” You said, pulling the shorter girl closer by the waist.   

God, you loved Tara's waist, it was so small in your hands, it made you feel so big.   

“Why don't you come and find out...”   

In all the talk, that was more than enough to make you move forward, kissing Tara's lips with desire. Your hands squeezed the girl's slender waist and Tara's sighs were like music to your ears. Her lips tasted like strawberries from the lipstick, and the kiss had a slight aftertaste of the lemonade you were drinking a few minutes ago.   

You couldn't believe it, Tara was simply the most beautiful girl you'd ever seen, and here you were, about to have sex with her. You were nervous, but you had to get over it. You wanted it to be good for Tara, as much as you knew it would be for you.  

Tara gasps as you lift her off the floor, wrapping her legs around your waist, Tara noticing that you were holding her with just one arm, while the other groped the walls, looking for the way out, as you were too busy kissing Tara's neck to lift your head. Finally emerging from the closet, you walk over to the bed, carefully tossing Tara onto it before climbing on top of her.   

“Fuck, you're so hot, Tara.” Lowering your kisses to her breasts, you tugged at the hem of Carpenter's shirt in a silent request to take it off.   

“ Fuck, Yn. Do whatever you want to me!” With a smile on your face, you pulled Tara's shirt off, your fingers quickly going up and opening the clasp of the girl's bra.   

“God, you're so beautiful, Tara.” Hearing your words, the Carpenter girl's body shivered, making her let out a moan as you massaged her breasts - now free of the fabric -.   

“Do you like it?” Looking at you in bewilderment, Tara saw you laugh a little. “Do you like it when I compliment you, Tara?”   

Tara moaned, confirming what you wanted to know.   

“Do you like it when I say you're being a good girl for me?” Tara moaned awkwardly as you took her nipple in your mouth, sucking slowly without giving the girl a chance to respond to your teasing.   

Taking advantage of Tara's distraction in the fog, you unbuttoned the girl's pants, pulling the garment off her body, seeing the damp stain forming on her panties.   

“Fuck, are you already wet?” You teased, leaving a kiss on Tara's clit under the fabric of her underwear, only for the Carpenter girl to let out a loud moan.   

“You do that to me.” Tara said, pulling your hair closer to her intimacy. “Please fuck me.”  

You smiled, knowing that you were making the most of this moment. Even as you felt your cock growing in your pants, you decided that you wanted to make the most of that moment.   

Removing Tara's panties, you gave her pussy an experimental lick, collecting all the juices that flowed from it. “Uhmm, you're delicious, Tara.” Hearing Tara moan, you continued your work.   

Grabbing the brunette's legs, you gained more access to her intimacy, sucking her clit and making the woman squirm in your arms. “Please, Yn. I need more.”  

Looking at the woman, you could see Tara's watery eyes, those eyes that seemed to beg for your pity, those eyes that made you want to torture her even more with pleasure. But at that moment, those eyes made you give in.  

Standing up, you unbuttoned your pants, making Tara lean on her elbows so she wouldn't miss a second of the show. When Tara saw the bulge in your underwear, her mouth was already dry, she had imagined how big you were, even felt it a few times when she was sitting on your lap at parties, but she never thought she would see it up close.   

Seeing Tara look at you as if you were a piece of meat, you let out a snort, reaching out to grab a condom from the drawer of your bedside table. “Drooling too much?”  

“Shut up.” Tara said, the smile on her lips letting you know she was enjoying the moment. “I think you talk too much.”   

Looking at Tara with a raised eyebrow, you watched the girl kneel on the bed, reaching up only to take the condom from your hand, settling back on the bed with a predatory look on her face. “You don't know what you're talking about...”  

“Come here and show me.” Overcome by desire, you took off your underwear, making your cock jump free and hit your abs.   

Climbing onto the bed, you made your way between Tara's legs, kissing the Carpenter girl as soon as you had the chance. You gasped into the kiss as soon as you felt Tara's hand reach your cock, feeling her pump a few times, you spread kisses across her neck, distracting yourself while the younger Carpenter put the condom on you.   

Moving up from her neck to Tara's jaw, you pulled away from her slightly, looking into her brown eyes. “Are you sure you want to do this?”   

Rolling her eyes, Tara put a sarcastic smile on her face. “Why? Don't you think you can handle it?”   

Getting onto your knees properly, you watched Tara lie back comfortably on your pillows. “I just want to make sure you're comfortable with it, Tara.”   

Seeing that you were serious, the Carpenter girl stretched out her arm, her hand resting on your waist, only for her to shake her head, as if finally realizing that you wanted a sincere answer from her.   

“Of course I do.” Sitting up properly on the bed, Tara's hand reached for the back of your neck, pulling you until your forehead was resting against hers. “I've never wanted anything as much as I want this, Yn.”  

Seeing you nod, Tara smiled, pulling you into a kiss and making you lie on top of her. One of your hands was on her waist, while the other guided your cock to her wet pussy.  

Carefully, you slid the head of your cock into Tara, making the woman moan into the kiss. “Fuck, you're so big!”   

“You like that, pretty girl?” Tara moaned at the nickname, ecstatic as you sank into her inch by inch.   

“Fuck, I love it.” Taking your hand in hers, she looked up at you, almost as if asking your permission.   

With your cock all impaled inside Tara, you took both her hands, intertwining them with yours and placing them on top of her head. Your thrusts began at a slow pace, but increased in line with Tara's desperate pleas.   

The brunette underneath you was ecstatic, she was loving it, you were even better than Tara had imagined. You could make the hard feel soft, and the fast feel loving, you could make Tara feel two ways at the same time. She had never had sex with someone who made her feel loved and dirty at the same time.   

The words and compliments you whispered to her made Tara's stomach churn with pleasure, your big, sturdy form on top of her gave her the feeling of protection and imposingness that she used to hate with guys out there. But Tara knew you weren't a guy, and you weren't even close to being a jerk like them either.  

You managed to be gentle and loving amidst the brutality of your thrusts, you managed to leave Tara wanting more, you were making the brunette see stars. And it was only when Tara felt that no forming that she let out a loud moan, which was quickly muffled by your lips on hers.   

You knew Tara was coming, when you pulled away from the kiss, you saw her eyes roll back, her hands squeezing yours as it became harder and harder to move inside her. Slowing your thrusts, you followed Tara all the way up her, still hitting her g-spot as you chased your own orgasm.  

Kissing Tara's forehead, you thrust a few more times, seeing tears of pleasure in the woman's eyes. Grunting, you pulled your cock out of Tara, masturbating quickly and watching the jets of your come fill the condom.   

“Fuck...” Taking off the condom, you went to the bathroom, disposing of it in the trash and getting back into bed as quickly as possible, worried that Tara would think it meant nothing to you.   

Lying next to the brunette, you could see the smile on her face. Crawling closer to her, you left a kiss on the younger Carpenter's cheek, making her look at you with heartfelt eyes.   

“Was it good for you?” you asked, still worried that you hadn't satisfied the woman.   

“Are you kidding?” Tara asked, settling down on your bare chest. “It was the best fuck of my life.” She said laughing.   

Smiling, you looked at Tara, the words stuck in your throat. “Did that... mean anything? Or like, are we just friends who fuck?” You asked, laughing nervously.   

“Yn, I never wanted to be just your friend.” Tara said, leaning in and kissing your lips.   

A feeling of relief ran through your body. Finally, you had the girl you'd always wanted, and you were going to do everything to make her happy. 

hey guys, I hope you're well.

I'm very happy to be posting here today, I hope I'll be able to post some short requests and some thoughts that you send as well.

did you see the oscars? honestly, i'm very happy that “i'm still here” won an award. And although I was rooting for Fernanda until the last minute, I'm also very happy for Mikey. And I want to say that this profile does not support ANY kind of hate or misogyny towards Mikey.

Mikey is a kind and loving soul, and she's just doing her job. So I want to make it clear that I don't support any kind of hate.

anyway, that's it. drink water, stay safe

xoxo, spider.

[chainelunaire]

Hi, can you write a virgin Dabi headcanon? Or like his reaction to getting his first blowjob by the reader?

(this is kinda heavy and not smutty at all)

dabi's so repulsed by the idea of sex, it's funny (it's very much not).

growing up in a home where he had not witnessed gentle heartwarming love between his parents, then being traumatized by near death experience, which then resulted in a constant body horror in every sense of the word, and Then for years trying to survive on streets while simultaniously keep training hard - yeah, i think he kind of haven't had enough time or energy for anything other than his Great Goal.

(from here i believe it can go two ways, one him being so closed off physically, and the other is for another post, if ever interested)

his mind is set on revenge, his entire soul is dedicated to a great cause, and while this all is true, it is also true that he clearly understands how scary (read, ugly in the eyes of others) he looks. he lives in this new body designed for him specifically not so long, yet he already knows every little disgusting detail about it, and every day he's finding a new one. deep deep inside he is terrified to the core. not only is he experiencing a major body dismorphia issues, but this also comes with a fact that this body was quite literally sewed together, replacing the burnt parts with flesh he doesn't want to ever question where came from. this body fails him every day. he lost his nails not once, but many times. he expericenced almost every infection known to mankind due to constantly open wounds. he frequently steals clothes, because they end up getting stained, in some parts slimy, and he's a clean freak, he kind of needs to be to survive. once he left a small piece of his ear on a pillow in one of lov's hideouts and was freaking out after. because the police could figure out his identity (not quite, he later realised, since they were not really his ears), and because he was really fond of the lost earring. compress later gifted him a new one. you get the picture.

he himself made the decision to cut off anything that will bring him any pleasure in life (sex included). it's a plethora of reasons why he doesn't want any of it, the main being is that of course, he doesn't believe anyone would genuinely want him in that way, and the second one, very vulnerable and naive, is that he realises that that will make everything harder for him. he's living this life on a hell mode already, he doesn't really need any more disappointment. so he build his later life so that it would be easy for him to let go in the end. and believing that someone found him attractive enough to have sex with him without any ulterior motives would make it harder (not that it'd ever happen, of course!). he's smart enough to understand that.

so he, of course, has much more important business going, and so you know - he's not interested. no one would be interested in that. no one in their right mind would want that, because there's nothing to want.

and you would think it'll take forever for him to fall for you, but it's easier than it seems. him still being that depending on what others think of him, still wanting the so long delayed approval and attention, it really won't take much of you for him to like you. he's so sensitive to kindness, especially when it's not towards him personally (that would make him alarmed, if anything) but rather casual small things, it really does something to his hardened heart. make no mistake, him liking you does not equal trusting you, that's a different story for another time. for now, he tries to hide it and he does it really well. so well in fact that for a long time you're quite sure that he wants you dead. he kind of does. but he still likes you.

fast forward to the subject of sex: he tries his best to avoid it at any cost. by that time, being in a relationship and trusting you enough to simply entertain the thought of it, he still thinks it's better if he dies on the spot rather than try. all of his insecurities come alive and well the exact time he thought he got rid of them.

the thing is, he doesn't necessarily want sex in itself, but he surely wants love. he wants to be loved so much and to him you seeing his body and running away in horror is a very real fear. he knows he won't be able to survive this, his mind would be completely broken. he's self-aware enough to understand that even knowing he's not the most sane person in the room. he will be able to live without sex, he was living like that and he was fine, but he won't be able to move on if he'll see the disgust on your face. if you'll find out what he truly is, it will crush him.

he will make it incredibly hard for you. he doesn't want to be a walking emotional rolling coaster, but he can't help it. he's terrified. one day he thinks that it's not a big deal let's go and later in the evening he'd disappear for a week. one moment he kind of wants to catch up and at least learn something on the matter and second later after opening the first link on google he's embarrased, disgusted and wants to set himeslf aflame. in general, he kind of wants to cry the whole time. he's angry at his dad, his mom, psychos that sewed him together, you, who's still by his side being annoyingly patient, but most importantly, he's mad at himself. he's already doing great mental gymnastics in favor of his own life, which he hadn't consider his for more than a decade. turns out, it could be very painful to realise how much you were robbed of, even after claiming for years that you didn't even want it.

needless to say, it'll take more than one shot for you, but eventually he will come around, probably on a random tuesday. tries to be nonchalant about it, but he is so chalant actually. after so much talking about everything he was capable of muster, after so much reassuring and constant showing of love and respect, he could one day wake up and suddenly realise that that fear while not fully gone, but he's at least capable of trying through it. you always knew he would be a sweetheart, him, however? not so sure.

in the end, you are right.

by that time, he's a lot more calm and collected. tells you to be serious and stop giggling, his ears red as a flame when you start laughing full chest - sometimes you are nervous too, he realised later in your relationship, even though he still doesn't understand why, anyone would want you. learnt to accept the fact that complete darkness won't save him in the end, but still asks for a very dim light. he doesn't really care about himself, but he tried to learn more so it would be good for you at least. compensates the lack of experience with observing every reaction he can get out of you (and he has a mental list from all the time before too). he's slow - because he's shy and inexperienced and afraid, - annoyingly so, but he's surprisingly precise and selfless. he would never be rough, especially the first time. needs gentle encouragement, which is perfect - not only he gets to hear your voice more, but his thinly veiled praise kink is enjoying the attention too. cracks some joke about begging the god not to lose his second earring in the middle of it, and you actually laugh so hard he needs to stop because now he's laughing too. the whole time not once has he found in your eyes something he was so afraid of finding. you look at him with nothing but love and adoration, hold his face in your hands, your palms warm and soft and tender, and his chest is tight with pain and with the lightness of it all. at some point he thinks that he really was right, it was easier to just die than to experience it all. he wants to cry, again. he can't really explain why, so he lays in your arms silently, letting you hold him, caress his hair and skin until you fall asleep. it will take all of his willpower not to run away in the middle of the night, he stays because he doesn't want to hurt you like that.

interestingly enough, in the morning without doing anything at all he feels significantly better. he can't help but smile when he enters the kitchen, seeing you preparing the breakfast and brewing hot black coffee. none of you mention the night before, yet you both are smiling at each other when you start to eat.

in this scenario, he'll need quite some time and hard work to only warm up about the idea of a blowjob. he'll forever be disgusted of the body he's currently living in, the best he can hope is to grow neutral about it, which is very real possibility with time. yet, he probably realises he's not ready to take this step now. he's not even sure if he ever will.

[starlightbuckk]

recents reads for me <3

Love You 'Til The End | perpetual_wallflower on ao3

summary: Buck offers up a date with a firefighter, himself, for a silent charity auction and ends up exchanging letters with a secret admirer and a first date set for Valentine’s Day several weeks away that will change his life.my thoughts: this was soooooo sweet, def one of my fav valentine fics i read this year. i particularly also was drawn to this characterization of eddie.

the rollercoaster | dqstcrdly on ao3 and twitter

summary: Buck has a manic episode. He slowly descends into the throes of mania, and the people who love him notice that something is wrong. All of them, particularly Eddie, are there to help him pick up the pieces in the aftermath. my thoughts: a fic you think about forever. buck's descent into the manic episode is deeply emotional and by the end i was crying.

I’ll tell them put me back in it (and I would do it again) | paleredheadinascifi on ao3/ palwritesfics on twitter

summary: Eddie doesn't know how to make his listening history private. Buck doesn't know what to do with the words in front of his eyes. Chris cannot believe he has to deal with either of them. my thoughts: i read lots of fun, lighthearted fics this past month and this one was no exception. silly boys who are in love with each other, one of whom does not understand how spotify works. chris was especially funny in this one.

the parts we play | @calinaannehart on ao3 and tumblr

summary: Buck isn’t a firefighter, he just plays one on TV, or at least that’s what he’s about to do. He’s offered the chance to shadow the 118 to learn what it’s like to be a firefighter. Eddie is fed up with these Hollywood types turning up and feigning interest in the job that he loves. Buck, however, is nothing like that and everyone can see the connection they have. my thoughts: okkkkk this is totally not what i would usually read (famous aus), but i loved it. it was interested to read a fic where eddie is the one confident in his sexuality and not buck, i enjoyed the dynamic and would love to see more of it done.

just like magic | weewooforever on ao3/ maydaydiiaz on twitter

part one of the witch eddie cinematic universe

summary: eddie diaz is a witch and his magic leads him right to evan buckley. my thoughts: have been LOVING!! this witch au, this is part 1 of i think 5?? and the series is ongoing. very lighthearted and sweet.

the mortifying ordeal of being known | Polish_Amber on ao3/ @the-amber-raven on tumblr

summary: the AU where miscommunication abounds as Eddie seeks advice about his new relationship, Bobby despairs over his adopted son's career prospects and his refusal to talk about it, and Evan Buckley-Nash juggles training at the fire academy, building a family with his new boyfriend, and trying to work out how to tell his overprotective dad that he's already chosen the life he wants, actually. my thoughts: this was fantastic. i need to make my way through the rest of the series. i honestly eat up any bobby and buck father-son relationship and this one was done in an honest, yet unique way.

plant new seeds in the melody | @bibuckleyforever on ao3 and tumblr

summary: Eddie's all but given up on dating when he meets Buck at the scene of a call. Chimney and Hen think of it as a sign from the universe. Buck and Eddie think of it as a chance to finally get the love story they've always wanted. my thoughts: sweet, different first meeting alternate universe. love when one of them isn't a firefighter because i love seeing what jobs authors have them do instead. this will be reread.

fill me full (of love and desire) | tiredwrites on ao3

summary: when buck comes in stormy-eyed and brimming with anger, they all confront him to get the full story and find out he's fresh off a breakup, has blue-balls, and is reeling from the reveal his ex has a micropenis, so what does eddie do to make it better? he loves (and fucks) buck better than tommy ever could. and finally makes buck realize he's been eddie's this entire time. my thoughts: this was Everything. i went from giggling to in awe of how well-written this smut was. i am so sorry tommy (not really), but i am not sorry for how well buck got fucked.

Look How They Align | allyasavedtheday on ao3/ @littlespoonevan on tumblr

summary: In which Buck has a crush on the hot dad of the new kid in his daughter's class. The hot dad who also happens to be his new co-worker. Yeah, this is fine. my thoughts: there is a scene in chapter two of this fic that made me cry. i love single dad+different first meeting aus. the relationship that grows between the 4 of them is simply so special and i loved reading it.

hope I make it through the night | arcanaphora on ao3

summary: Eddie and Buck go on an awkward first date. my thoughts: hehehehehe this is kinda canon for me. idc if its not realistic. i am a firm believer that buddie's first date will be awkward as hell bc neither of them know how to date someone they have actual feelings for (let alone their best friend).

as always, give a reblog, a follow, or share your fic thoughts.

later this week i will be posting my first rec for a specific prompt/trope. i'm excited for this one, it's one of my favs.

if you have any requests for a specific prompt/trope recs, leave it in my ask and i'll add it to my list <3

[arcane-ish]

So, my new fandom is real life politics or how Silco and Vander sort of changed my life

I actually wrote this back in the fall of 2024, before Arcane season 2 aired. I thought about posting it like … the week of Arcane premiering but it felt odd because the US election was around the time and in that context… it just felt wrong.

Anyway, you probably don’t know me, but it was like this: Back when Arcane originally aired for a while posted slightly crazy amounts about it. I’m the kind of person who loooooooves long philosophical and analytical exchanges and collecting information.

And then I dropped out cold turkey.

This is not unusual for me, I’m a fandom switcher. Except in this case the new topic I switched to, the two “fandoms” were somewhat oddly related.

I love the concept of Arcane and the themes and dualities it portrays. I love many facets of it, but a major poison of choice for me was Silco x Vander, followed by Timbomb aka Ekko x Jinx. And a big part is pondering the conflicts and different politics of their world view.

And just one major factor was imagining what the politics and lives of the young Vander and Silco looked like and why they fell out. I’m not a fic writer but I’ve tried to dabble (usually too scared to post stuff or too waffly to finish stuff). I thought a lot about what their younger lives might be like (inspired by some fanarts) and doing a litte bit of research into other political figures and how their political movements started out, just what the dynamics in a group like that might be, or just what kind of plots would make sense.

This kind of crossed into my genuine dissatisfaction with real life politics. And now, it’s not the big one that affects the most people, the US, with Trump and everything. I’m from a small European country, our elections already took place and the also sucked (and though it’s probably hybris a lot of the time it feels like we started it or at least were very early). I think a lot about the rise of the global right and how to oppose it, how it interlocks with and blocks so much having to do with climate change, how modern technology promotes radicalism in various shapes, how the right is straining for culture dominance again and is building its own ideology and whether or not the fracturedness of of public and cultured life influences this.

The main reason why I wanted to get involved is … I just really, really hate the guy who leads the way too successful far right in my home country. I hated all the ones before him too, but for various reasons this one feels even worse and not just because of the global influence of Putin. I just didn’t want him getting into power and me wanting to do something to help the opposition to him. I just felt that there was something bad in the air and I wanted to get involved even though the next election was quite a bit away at this time.

And yes a tiny bit was thinking of it of fic research of what discussions and relationships in small pub backroom political groups actually feel and work like. Like even if I washed out of the scene again, at least I would have fic idea, no?

I feel like I’m kind of lucky because my home country actually has some deep old political structures and it’s been kind of interesting trying to navigate through them.

To be honest: trying to get involved was a huge leap. If you try to look at it as a “fandom” it’s just so unfamiliar that it’s just all in real life, giving tons of real life people your phone number. Especially since I’m a person who has always tried to stay deeply pseudonym-based in fandom and never attend any fandom events, I always tried to keep real life and fandom life very separate and to now have a hobby, a “fandom” that doesn’t allow it, was very harrowing. But I decided I wanted to do, because I think the situation is serious and it’s worth it.

One thing that I found interesting how in some parts, the kind of low level politics I do actually does remind me a ton of fandom. To have those low level, normal people sitting around and trying to organize a party or a march or a discussion event and advertise it, form or revive a club, it reminds me so much of fandom and all the fandom weeks and zines and big bangs and art contests and fanfic gift exchanges that people are doing. Fandom I think has taught me a lot about people’s generosity and what people are willing to do just for passion and community. Fandom actually is a good example of something great and amazing that doesn’t run on straight self interest logic. And if it works in fandom, why shouldn’t that work in politics as well? I certainly know that I want more of that out there in real society.

I’ve always felt a little bit on the margins of fandom, because in the end I’m not a fanfic writer, I’m not an artist. But I’ve found my niche I feel in mostly writing long rambly metas and identifying the people who also do that and who like me get joy from gabbing on like that. And by cheerleading and encouraging the talented people in fandom and maybe trying to connect then, carry together and compile information. This is ultimately what I kind of hope to do in politics as well. I don’t want to get elected for anything. I don’t want to stand in front and give speeches. But I do want to identify the people who do that and who I like and believe are well meaning and encourage them and help them be more well known and maybe try to carry out some of the ideas that I think are important. And maybe on occasion find some people to have the real world version of the long fannish conversations with that I enjoy so much in fandom.

So yeah, because of Zaundads, and the fannish encounters and discussions I had because of them, I asked myself a lot of question, about myself, about sexuality, about organizing, about good and bad and what I believe in.

Generally, my plan was to just take a short break from my political stuff doings just long enough to watch season 2, shout about it like maybe till the end of the year and just like before dip out. I fully blame the @zaundadsbigbang for forcing me to stay in at least till that is done. XD

Right now I try to juggle both.

It’s funny. I was hoping to also do politics like I do fandom, where I dip out after a certain amount of time. Ideally, after “the job is done”, where I have encourages the local opposition parties to suck less so they can stand on their own.

But yeah, now with Trump in office, it sure looks like the job isn’t going to be “done” any time soon or just bewhere I think I can just let it slide and trust other people to handle it while I do nothing.

I dunno, I’ve been thinking on whether I should post at least some of my politic-y thoughts to tumblr. Or at least share some real life stories/historical stuff that I think kind of fits Arcane.

Like, one thing I have been thinking about a lot in regards to Arcane (and how it wasn’t a story concerned with politics and revolution in the end) how exactly how we tell those stories and how we can forge them and make them be appealing and believable. And I think Arcane is just a very good sample or jumping off point in that regard.

I dunno, I haven't decided yet.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Since you don't see Marius and Armand as having a lot to gain from a relationship with each other in the current era, I'm curious as to how you headcannon them with Daniel? And what do you think the best possible version of their relationship could be in the future for all three of them in their respective groups?

Dasdg I want to like, clarify that, I THINK NOT HAVING A LOT TO GAIN is not exactly what I mean. I know I’ve said things along those lines but fandom softened me a little bit. I think what I mean more is like, the thing they have to gain is the investment of time, and I wonder if this is something that will take years/decades/centuries to build and heal. The thing they have to gain is the baby steps, the clearing of the path!, so that they can get somewhere again!

I think the relationship is something like this:

The strange thing too is that like, we’re now getting like, seven years off of canon !! SO WHEN WE SAY CURRENT ERA PART OF ME THINKS “WHEN THE BOOK ENDS” but then I’m also wondering, how much do they get done in 7 years. This is interesting to think about. Because me thinking that they’re not in a great place by the end of canon doesn’t necessarily mean that they can’t get there eventually! I wonder what those dingdongs are doing out there in the ether!  

I really think Daniel could be very useful for this, as well! Like as a mediator! NOT JUST AS A PERSON BETWEEN THEM WHO KNOWS THINGS ABOUT EACH THAT THEY MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER, BUT AS A MORE MODERN MAN WHO MIGHT HAVE A BETTER GRASP ON PSYCHOLOGY.

So like the short answer your question is that I think he’s maybe their marriage counselor LOL. He’s someone who can read people very well and spent a lot of time with Armand, even before the barrier was an issue, so I think he can read Armand very well even without it! And he can mimd gift with Marius to understand the subtext when Marius is being cagey about his true feelings, or when he’s speaking abrasively/condescendingly as a defense mechanism!

Since you’re asking about headcanons I’m gonna be indulgent here and talk strictly headcanons and how I personally imagine it so don’t take anything else I’m about to say as canon in anyway way, since we literally get ZERO information about the 3 of them together in the books—

I wonder like in what ways does Daniel being between them resembles a child and their parents, maybe even more accurately a child of divorced parents. And the family structure is abstract here obviously, but so is the polycule structure and the way it’s complicated by the Mind Gift barrier and how it puts Marius and Daniel at an advantage when it comes to communication. It kinda leaves Armand out in the cold to never be understood lol but Marius can be so contradictory sometimes that I wonder if it does them good for Daniel to able to translate when it’s needed.

AND LIKE THEIR RELATIONSHIPS TO EACH OTHER ARE SO DEEP ??? As much as Daniel might help as a balm between the two of them, I think he and Marius can also ground the three of them in a nice way. NOT SURE HOW ELSE TO INTRODUCE THIS OTHER VISUAL AID SO HERE -

I have some headcanons about Daniel’s backstory and what his home life was like and so that kinda plays into headcanons about the current day, too. Like, I pictured him having unhappily married parents who were too squeamish for a divorce, partly because I’m projecting LMAO and partly because divorce was a little less common then. There WERE divorces, even Anne Rice’s parents were divorced!, but I wonder about what it does to you, when your parents stay together “for the kids” and wind up making it worse. (I say I wonder, but, I know very well how it feels lol.)

Like how much does Daniel as the mediator come out of a need to break a family cycle?

I think it’s a trap people fall into when we try to break cycles, or try not to be like our parents; sometimes you think you’re safe because you changed your situation drastically and yet we still always wind up confronted by things we need to unlearn. So Daniel might think he’s left the realm of the family cycle by removing himself completely from humanity, except now he’s in the center of this very fraught chasm and has to rely on his human experience again.

Daniel is such a very blank slate in canon that it’s so hard to know, like even after he’s better again we don’t see him interact with Armand, so honestly like it can be whatever you want it to be, but I like the idea of him being a mediator.

I think he has seen the best and worst of them both, and I think he can see the way they miscommunicate. Even with the barrier with Armand I just think like, he’s Armand’s ONLY fledgling like they know each other SO well. I think Daniel can just read him anyway, in a way that Marius can’t, because Marius knew Armand when he was so young and naïve and Marius was so stressed.

And even though Daniel is WAY younger than both of them, all three of them have been through some very life changing experiences since the 1980s when Daniel was turned! Like Marius needing to re-evaluate his entire life & purpose & identity without TWMBK to take care of, and Armand having such a massive religious relapse that he attempted suicide, and Daniel’s psychological overwhelmed and subsequent recovery! 

In some ways, all three of them are new people who are in the process of building their new lives and understand their new identities, so in a way it’s sort of a blank slate that they can work from. 

So the question, what does it look like ?

I’m not really sure!

I think there’s the sort of like vaguely polyamorous nature of VC vampires along with their patience for eternity — for example, the relationship we see between Lestat - Louis - Armand is that Louis is able to come and go from Trinity Gate as needed. We know that Daniel went back to New York with Armand in PLROA, but there no indiction that he’ll never come back to Marius again, or if it’s just a visit, or what it was. Like perhaps Daniel will also get in the habit of coming and going from Trinity Gate as needed, we can’t know. 

LIKE THANKS ANNE FOR FUCKING FORGETTING DANIEL EXISTED DURING BCTU LMAOOO cause like, does he comes to Marius’s side when Marius is in criss? Apparently not LMAO. Did he stay home in NY to babysit Benji & Sybelle while ARMAND came Marius’s side? Gosh idk man. 

I like that canon tells us that the vampires are sort of relaxed and secure in their relationships when it comes to stuff like this (it’s something I REALLY deeply fucking hate about the show sorry lol) so I think I kinda enjoy thinking that there’s a version where they can come and go and be there for each other without being codependent. I like to think that Marius & Daniel have a home in France for when they needed space away from Court, and we know that Marius has a lair in Trinity Gate. 

At the end of BCtu Armand is like freshly traumatized and probably need some comfort, and Marius wants to go talk to him, and I think that’s a great sign that they’re ready to start talking to each other again. It might take years or decades or centuries for them to get somewhere healthy because they have a LOT to talk about, but I like the idea that they can have an open line of communication! And I like that maybe Daniel can be there to mediate! And they don’t have to a always be around each other all the time, but don’t get jealous when the other two are spending time together, and maybe sometimes they hang out and hunt together or go catch a show or go to Carnival or go fuck off into the mountains to stargaze, who knows what all they get into! 

But I like thinking that when canon ends they’re in a place where they can start working towards that!!!!!

[oh-phoenixx]

"Cloak" - Jegulus microfic @into-the-jeggyverse - 903 words

@abductedhiko

-

For the first few months that they were together, Regulus showed very little indication that he truly liked James, past eagerly snogging him in the privacy of broom closets, empty classrooms, and the astronomy tower. There was this air of apathy, this cloak of indifference whenever they spoke. James did not know what to do about it. He had spent the better part of a year yearning for Regulus, for the simplicity of a relationship. It had been foolish, of course. No part of Regulus had ever been simple, James knew it was stupid to have expected quiet domesticity or casual intimacy. But whatever this was? He hated it. James was so, so full of love to give, and he wanted to give it to Regulus, wanted to shower him in it, but Regulus seemed unwilling to receive it. 

James had not seen their first fight coming, had not realised the desperation and frustration building within him. One moment, everything seemed okay. He’d had his arm around Regulus, and James could almost convince himself that the younger boy was relaxed. He made to kiss Regulus’s head and Regulus pulled out of his grip wordlessly. 

“Why do you do that?” James asked with a sigh.

“Do what?” Regulus gritted out.

“I just wanted to kiss you,” James muttered, standing up. He was not upset that Regulus didn’t want to be kissed or touched. He was upset that in the nearly three months they had been officially together, Regulus had appeared to have lost all interest in him. And while this completely destroyed James, what was worse was that Regulus would not admit it. He would pull away and would expect James to just put up with it. If it had not been for Regulus’s clear unhappiness, James thought he actually would. If he was deprived at the hands of Regulus Black, there was no sweeter torture, no prettier denial.

“I can’t do this anymore, Regulus. You clearly don’t like me as much as I thought you did. I just wish you’d said something before I…” James trailed off. “I wish you’d said something.”

“Before you what?” Regulus asked with narrowed eyes.

“It doesn’t matter,” James replied, voice quiet. James did not expect protests. It hurt no less, though, when none came.

James went to bed feeling sick with his sadness, ill with it. He woke up feeling the same. The last thing he needed was to open his eyes to the sight of Sirius standing over his bed, angrily glaring down at him.

“You said you wouldn’t hurt him,” Sirius hissed, though his tone was laced with betrayal. “You said you would never fucking hurt him.”

James sighed and sat up, letting the duvet pool around him. He rubbed at his nose bridge, trying to ease some of the tension and the oncoming pounding headache. “I doubt he was hurt,” James said bitterly. “I only did it because he didn’t want to be with me.”

“You just made that decision for him?” Sirius questioned. “James, he fucking adores you. Frankly, it’s disgusting.”

“He has a funny way of showing it,” James mumbled.

“Of course he does! This is Regulus we’re talking about!” Sirius groaned. “What did you think? He was just going to forget years of trauma because you claim to like him? He needs time to believe you and to trust you. He needs you to work with him, not leave him a few months in because you can’t deal with it!”

And James was such an idiot. James was so fucking stupid. 

“Regulus,” James called as he entered the Slytherin dorm later that day.

“Potter, if you don’t leave right now, I swear to Merlin, your parents won’t even recognise your corpse by the time I’m done with you,” Evan threatened. The matching glare he and Barty wore would have been enough to deter anyone else. But James was determined to a fault.

“Regulus,” James repeated, softer this time. “I need to speak to you.”

Despite Evan and Barty’s collective protests, Regulus stood and followed James up to the dorm. As soon as Regulus had closed the door behind them, James wrapped his arms around him with the intention of never again letting him go. This did not go well, as Regulus tensed and, although he did not push James away, was very understandably uncomfortable. James took a deep breath and a step back.

“I’m so sorry, angel. Please understand,” James begged. “I love you. I love you so much, and I never would have even thought about breaking up with you if I didn’t think you were unhappy. Whatever you can give is enough for me, okay? You’re enough, Reg.”

Regulus was very good at hiding his emotions, a fact James was regularly saddened by. But right now, James could read him with ease. He knew this was intentional; everything with Regulus was. Regulus was giving up another small part of himself for James to hold close, trusting James to take care of it. And James would. James would relish in the knowledge that, when Regulus was relieved, he flexed his fingers and then clenched them into fists, over and over. James did not know why. He would learn. He would be there for Regulus and learn all those little details. It was all worth it for the way Regulus seemed to melt into James after stepping forward into his arms.

[emilyzipps]

hello! i was wondering if you could tell us about the narration voice, and how to write it? the inside voice of the character that describes how they feel and think. I can't wrap my head around it for some reason, it often feels like i'm rambling too much or Not addressing the meat of the conflict in a way that feels interesting. How detailed should it be? is it better to be direct about what the character thinks and feels, or be kind of vague and trust the reader to figure it out?

This is a great question! This is a very Level Up question, and I love it. Let’s talk bout it!

First of all, quick reminder that there are different kinds of narrative voice. First person (I woke up and I saw…), second person (you wake up and you see) and third person (Alex woke up and she saw). There’s also a distinction within third person of omniscient vs close. Omniscient is when the narrator is sort of the “voice of god,” like a movie camera. In movies, we aren’t in anyone’s head, we’re seeing the world from god’s POV. In omniscient, you can know everything that occurs, regardless of if your main character is there or not. So if Alex and Maggie are in a scene together and it’s omniscient third, it might say things like “Alex smiled, trying to hide her disappointment. Maggie’s heart rose as she smiled back.” We know what BOTH characters are thinking. Close third is the opposite, where you only know what’s happening in the head of the person who is telling the story. So if it’s an Alex POV chapter, you would NOT know that Maggie’s heart rose. It might say, “Alex smiled, trying to hide her disappointment. Maggie smiled back, big and broad, and Alex’s heart sank. Maggie simply isn’t getting her.” We can guess at Maggie’s thoughts from her actions, but we can’t know them.

All of these POV options are good, and all of them have their pitfalls. If you want to explore more about the pros/cons/whens for them, just ask!

But okay, now the meat of the question. Regardless of which POV you’ve chosen, narrative voice, sometimes also called “inner life,” is such an important way to do a bunch of things in your writing. Some of those things are:

Establish character traits and personality. Tell us about this person. What are they like? What do they like? For example, if a car swerves in front of them, what would they do? Yell a curse word? Honk? Pull out a gun? Cry? Have a panic attack? Most of these things will not be said in dialogue, so narrative voice is how we find out.

Tell the reader stuff about the setting/environment in which this character lives. All works have worldbuilding, even if it’s not fantasy or sci-fi. Say your character is walking down the street in chapter one and they notice that what used to be a parking lot is becoming a high-rise apartment building. What do they think about this, and what does it tell us about this place they live? Are they excited because this city is so expensive and they need more affordable housing? Depressed because gentrification is pushing them out of their neighborhood? This is a great way for you not to have to tell us “Development has really changed the economic and racial landscape of this mid-size American city,” which is a boring infodump. Instead, you can say, “Maggie inwardly scoffs at the construction project. She wonders how much longer the wig shops and payday loan storefronts across the street will last, where her abuela will get her nails done if the Whole Foods in this new complex drives every brown shop out of business.”

Demonstrate tension between what they say/do and what they think/feel. No one ever says only and exactly what they think or feel. People are always editing, and some people edit more than others. When they’re sad, what does your character say? How much do they hide it? How well do they hide it? How would they feel if someone knew they were sad? This tells us so much about this person, and also helps build tension and conflict. If Jane is inwardly really upset and hurt because Maura is on a date with someone else, the contrast between what Jane says and what Jane thinks is a big thing that will build the romantic tension between the two of them, especially the unrequited, unspoken romantic feelings Jane has for Maura.

Example: If Maura says, “Jane, I can’t hang out tonight I have a date.”

Does Jane say, “Maura I’m really disappointed to hear that because I have unrequited feelings for you and I wish you paid enough attention to me to notice them. Although, I don’t think I’m good enough for you, so maybe you do know and this is how you’re letting me down easy? I’m not sure, please tell me explicitly.” NO! Of course she doesn’t! She probably says, “Wow. Okay. Have fun.” Or maybe even something kind of snarky like, “Wow, that’s what? Five different guys this month?” The rest happens in narrative voice/inner life.

Maybe like this:

Maura flushes a little. “Jane, I can’t hang out tonight,” she says. Then, after a beat, “I have a date.” Jane’s heart hits the floor. Really? Another date? That’s what, her fifth this month? God, this woman will really do anything with anyone that isn’t named Jane Rizzoli, won’t she? Jane wonders if Maura knows about her (quite obvious) feelings and this is how she’s letting Jane down easy, or if she’s as oblivious as everyone else thinks she is. Jane, deep down in her gut, decides she doesn’t want to know. “Wow,” she says, forcing what must be an unconvincing smile, resolving to take out her anger at the gym later. “Have fun.”

In terms of how detailed you want the narrative voice to be, that depends. Are we talking about something you’re trying to build reader curiosity about—get them hooked and keep them reading—or something you simply want the reader to know? If the former, be vague. If the later, be specific!

Example: You might want to be vague about something mysterious in their backstory. Say the story is from Lena’s POV and the reader—and her love interest Kara—don’t know that her family members are straight up evil people that used the company she now runs for their nefarious, evil purposes. You don’t want to say something like “Lena looked at the pictures on the wall, all the CEO’s of her company that came before her, and shuddered. All of them are her family members, and all of them are guilty of war crimes. She’s ashamed to be affiliated with them in any way, and she’ll die before she tells Kara about it.” That’s not inducing curiosity in the reader, really because you’ve now told them the mystery.

Instead, you might say something like, “Lena, as always, shuddered under the watchful eyes of the portraits of the former CEO’s hung up on the wall in their ornate, gilded frames. She wished she were brave enough to throw the damn pictures in the trash, or more honestly, wished she were brave enough not to let them bother her.” Ooh, suspense. Why? Why does she hate them, why do they make her shudder, why isn’t she able to junk them? And, crucially, we have not said they’re her family. Maybe the escalating reveal will go like this:

Reference 1: Lena shudders (inner life)

Reference 2: Lena calls them evil in her mind (inner life)

Reference 3: alluding to some of their war crimes (inner life)

Reference 4: as much detail as the reader needs to fully understand their evilness (maybe through a dialogue scene)

Reference 5: kara knows about their evilness!!! DRAMATIC TENSION (dialogue)

Reference 6: the big reveal: THEY’RE HER FAMILY MEMBERS dun dun dunnnnnnnn (inner life)

However, for other things, like what does Lena look like or how does she feel the first time she sees Kara? You can just say it, and if you want to, you can also use it to build world or character, like this: “Lena’s always known she was pretty, but as a child she hated her looks because she didn’t resemble her family in any way. Now, as an adult, that’s the one thing she’s immensely grateful for.”

I hope this helps answer your question, and please feel free to ask more questions about this, POVs, managing big reveals, or anything else.

[poly-thot-one-piece-edition]

Phraseology

Fem!Reader/Demon!Sabo/Mythical Beast!Marco >.>

Summary - Urban fantasy vibes. Reader is a smut writer who does an impromptu book signing at The Archive, an old as balls library that the city has grown up around. The decision changes her life, and shenanigans ensue.

CW: Canon levels of violence, lots of sex, Sabo likes to watch, Marco likes to make reader sing. I'll add details as they come along but right now that's the best I got for you.

@mfreedomstuff

Chapter 1: Book Signing

Nerves twist your stomach as you stood outside the doors to the old library. The Grandline Mystoria Historical and Linguistic Archive, more commonly called The Archive, was an old library. The city had effectively grown up around it over the centuries, but you were pretty sure it pre-dated the void century. There was a school field trip that had brought you here once before, but otherwise you hadn’t been back.

You were here now because your friends, the same ones who had nearly shoved you into publishing your writing in the first place, had suggested it as a good location for a book signing.

A book signing for a vanity press seemed silly, but you had put everything you had into it, and so had your friends. They helped you fund-raise for the cover art, and even gifted you the funds needed for a full and proper editor. The only thing your book lacked at this point was the backing of an agency’s marketing tools.

But you weren’t trying to make this your full time job, at least you didn’t think so, you had just wanted to put your words to paper and hold them in your hands. Even if it was just once.

The Archive was solid neutral ground, however, and as you stepped inside you could feel yourself relaxing. Something about the smell of old books, and the way the city was immediately muted when the door closed and set you at ease. This wasn’t the hustle and bustle of the Grandline Metro, this was the calm stillness of a safe space.

Perfect for you and a dozen of your friends and family to use to satisfy your little fantasy.

Stone walls and floors, heavy and immovable wooden shelves that seemed almost melded into the stone work, it was little wonder this building had stood the test of time. It felt as sturdy and inevitable as a mountain, though at a mere three stories, it was hardly as tall as one. Seeing signs set up guiding people toward your book signing, beginning at 2pm this afternoon, made your stomach knot a little bit again, but not so much you couldn’t push it aside.

You had no idea what kind of traffic The Archive received on a daily basis. You only know that the gentleman who helped you set everything up over the phone a couple weeks ago, had recommended the time. His voice had been relaxing, and it was so easy to talk to him you’d thought the library must host book signings every other day.

Drawing closer to the location of where you were going to sit, you notice copies of your book set in view around the area, neat hand-writing on small cards reminding visitors about the date and time of the book signing. You’d only sent the books a few days prior, but you were getting nervous about how many people might end up showing up.

You hadn’t expected any advertising, and you’d almost picked a local bar because you figured at the very least you could have some drinks and hang out with your friends if nothing else. It would be much easier to accept a lack of interest with a few drinks and some socializing.

The table where you’re meant to sit has a few more well-written signs on it, with a couple small stacks of books. The side shelves of the racks nearby had more copies of your book. It was a little embarrassing in the end, but a young man fussing with one of the displays catches your attention.

Wavy blonde hair falls down loosely, almost like inverted fire swirling around his neck, but not quite reaching his shoulders. He looks over-dressed; suit, vest, jacket, and matching shoes. They fit him well, the white suit is clearly tailored, and impressively crisp and clean. Blues and golds accent it, but nothing overtakes the snow white fabric, even his shoes are unmarred and a soft snow white.

He turns toward you, red - wait - blue eyes taking you in with a charming smile on his lips. His face is scarred over his left eye, slipping beneath the loose mop of hair and under his collar. Compared to the rest of him it’s barely noticeable, and you find yourself smiling back at him.

There’s a beat of awkward silence, but he breaks it easily.

“Ah, may I help you find anything?” He offers and you can’t stop a nervous chuckle.

“I’m (Y/N),” You reply, holding out your hand. “Here to sign the books.”

His face brightens, and he shakes your hand. The leather of the glove is warm and supple, if not for the seams against your fingers you might not have realized he was wearing them.

“The lady of the hour, perfect!” He turns toward the table with the books on it and you shift that way as well. “We have everything set up for you and ready to go. The head librarian organized the majority of it as we don’t often host something like this, but if there’s anything you need please let me know.”

He grabs his top hat from the nearby shelf and puts it over his heart before bowing deeply. “Sabo of Goa, at your service. I’m merely the sponsor of this fine old building, but it is always my pleasure to lend a hand when I can.” When he straightens back up he puts the top hat on, leaning on a black cane you hadn’t even noticed before now.

“Well, thank you for all of this.” You say, walking over to the table. “It’s more than I expected and I’m… a little overwhelmed, but very grateful.”

“Certainly. I can fetch some water if you like, or perhaps a different style of pen.” He offers, looking down to see a few simple disposable pens laid out.

“Oh no, I…” You reach into your shoulder bag, rummaging around for a moment before holding up a couple pens. “Brought my own. I thought if I ended up signing more than I expected I should make sure the pen’s comfortable.”

“Are those Alabastian fountain pens?”

“Huh? Yes, actually. I’ve never had someone recognize them before.” You admit, holding one out to him. “My mom gave them to me a few years ago when I turned eighteen. I’ve heard they’re expensive, but I’ve never looked up how expensive. I didn’t want to get scared away from using them.”

“Well, value is often found in the use, not the cost.” He replies, handing the pen back, a soft smile on his face. “I think it’s wise to decide to use them and not worry about anything else.”

Sabo chats with you for a few more minutes until your friends arrive, and then excuses himself quietly. You and your friends gush about The Archive and how cool it is. How old it must be, how interesting the old books must be.

You sign and chat for a couple hours, surprised at the number of people who you don’t know that come through and buy a copy, asking you to sign it for them. Some ask for a synopsis, some for just a one-liner. A surprising number of people buy it as a gift for someone else, and two people you end up talking out of buying a copy, because they didn’t realize how graphic it was going to be.

If you knew how many strangers you were going to have say the phrase “it’s a monster fucker romance” to, you might not have agreed to the signing. You were certain your face was lighting up like a christmas tree, every time you had to explain things with as straight a face as you could desperately maintain. Fortunately, your friends sang some of the praises for you, talking at length about other stories they’d read, and what they liked from yours.

It wasn’t nearly as horrifying as you were worried it was going to be, and by the end of the entire thing you’d sold almost every copy you’d brought with you. Taking off the cost of buying the books yourself, you’d still made a profit by the end of it.

Taking a drink of water after the last of the customers and your friends left, you froze, and looked down at the glass you’d so casually drank from. Your eyes shifted to the nearly empty glass pitcher nearby and your brow furrows.

When had someone brought over water? Why were you drinking it so casually? You don’t even remember asking for water or telling anyone you were thirsty. You hadn’t seen Sabo, or any other library employee during the signing, and while you’d been too distracted by friends and such to think on it earlier, now it was sticking in your head.

There had to be extensive staff here, the place was sizable. Three floors aside it commanded most of the city block it was on, with stalls and stores crowding around it, but nothing was going to dominate the space quite like the Archive itself. It would take ten people just to keep everything cataloged at the bare minimum.

You were starting to think the place might have it’s own magic, like the old fairy tales about how places that exist for long times get their own souls, or faeries move in, tending to the dust and keeping things organized. The mental image of Sabo being harassed by faeries makes you smile, just because the idea of him running after his hat while it floats away is harmless enough.

“It’s good to see a smile on your face.” Sabo says, nearly causing you to leap out of your skin. He smiles, and you’re certain there’s mischievousness at the corners of his mouth, but he doesn’t tease you further. Instead he holds out a copy of your book. “I read it during the signing, and I was hoping you were up for signing one more copy?”

“I - you - that’s - I mean… S-sure.” You stammer, taking the book from him. “I didn’t expect something like this to be up your alley.”

“Oh?” He hums and you wonder what you could possibly say. “The world building was solid, and the way you wove in history lessons for the reader without making them feel like a history lesson, was a testament to your skill at story-telling.” He grins when you look up at him, still unsure of how to sign the copy.

“The build up to the sex scenes was just as good as the concupiscence feelings they elicited. Your pacing made the emotional shifts feel quite natural.” He says it so easily you’re almost more embarrassed by the praise. “What really came through, however, was that you were having fun, and I find I appreciated that deeply.”

Grinning, you chuckle a little and look back down at the book, signing it easily. “Thank you for appreciating my joy,” you say as you write the words inside the cover, signing your name easily beneath that. You keep the cover open for a moment, giving the ink time to dry. “That was very kind praise, thank you.”

“I would say it was the least I could do, but, I was hoping to offer you something more.” Sabo says the words with the same ease as before, gloved fingers barely grazing yours as he pulls the book away. He seems to scrutinize the dryness of the ink for a second before closing it in satisfaction.

You tilt your head, brow furrowing slightly. He couldn’t possibly be hitting on you, right? He was handsome, and probably your age, and certainly he’d enjoyed your book, but he looked like he was a dozen tax brackets above your wildest dreams.

“I -.” You aren’t really sure what to say and he clarifies for you.

“I spoke with the head librarian briefly, but we’d like to offer you use of the Archive if you’d like. If you wanted to pursue a career in writing, we would be willing to help you. There are resources for finding an agent, publisher, and all of that rot.” He waves his hand, clearly unconcerned about the details. “There’s no pressure of course, but having read an innumerable number of books, I can say that I think it would be good for you to give it a try, if you so desire.”

“For… smut?”

You can clearly see amusement in his smile, but then it shifts to something more genuine. “Smut is but a small portion of the story you wrote, was it not? The descriptions, the world itself, and the struggles and joys of the characters within. You had nearly eight thousand words in that book, not counting the three pages of thanks, and of that a little over a tenth was smut. Even then there was emotion and story within the… sheets.” He grins, tapping your forehead lightly with the book itself.

“So no, not for smut, but also yes. Because the inclusion of it shouldn’t be given room to diminish the rest.”

“… I really don’t know what to say.” You admit sheepishly.

“Then for now, say nothing. Sleep on it, a day or two, or even a week if needed.” He offers. “There’s no need to rush such a decision. You’re also welcome to come back tomorrow and discuss the details with Marco and go from there if you’d like. He has a much better head for that stuff than I do, and the extra insight could help you make a decision.” Sabo assures you. “He set up most of this on his own, and sadly only left the sign making to me.”

“Perhaps wisely,” he muses with an easy smile after a moment’s pause. Something in his tone or movement relaxes you, and the fret that had been building over the idea of becoming a full-time, actual professional author fades.

“I can do that,” you agree, turning your attention back to packing away what few books you still had left. “Come back tomorrow and talk with him, I mean.”

“Mm,” Sabo hums happily, watching you for a second longer before speaking up again.

“Do you want to donate the few copies you have left to the library?” You pause at the question and look back up him. “I could buy them, if it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable, but you can donate them. We have half-a-stack for Sora Norberts novels, we can certainly keep a couple of these in stock without issue.” The look on his face leaves you with an impression that he’s not exactly a fan of Mrs. Norberts novels.

“I, yeah, actually. If I could donate them, that would be great. I’ve already given copies to everyone I know that would’ve been interested, so I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do with these anyway.” You admit honestly. “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure, I assure you.” He replies smoothly, walking with you to the front of the library.

You notice people milling about in the library, but no one looks at Sabo as you’d expect them too. His presence is striking, in contrast with the dark work and muted stones of the library, clean and while not bright, certainly brighter than his surroundings. The cane and top hat alone stood out against the more relaxed fashion of most of the city. It seemed rude to point it out, and maybe those who regularly visited the Archive were simply used to him.

Or maybe he-.

“Is everything okay?” Sabo prompts and you shake your head, scattering the odd thoughts that you were losing yourself to.

“Huh? Oh, yes. Everything is good. Sorry, I think I zoned out a little.” You give him an apologetic look. “This old library pulls me in and I think my mind gets a little too creative.”

“Not such a bad thing if you’re going to use it to help you write.” He offers with a smile. “Ah, that came out with more pressure than I intended. I’m merely excited at the idea, forgive me.”

You return his smile as you step back out into the city. “Certainly, and thank you again for letting me have a book signing here.”

He lowers his head in a slight bow, giving you a wink as the door closes. For a split second you swear you see something change, but you can’t even hold onto it enough to wonder what would’ve caused it. Despite your strange thoughts, you leave the Archive feeling light and good. The book signing went well, and your conversation with Sabo was an exciting prospect.

Tomorrow you’ll meet the head librarian and find out what’s involved in making the transition from where you are, to where you think you might want to be.

[snailfen]

anyways. personal ideas on my ideal vision of a s1 reboot? down below

my ideal season 1 reboot is going all in on it being a cartoon made by teens in the early 2010s, with era accurate humor and all, but sprinkling some foreshadowing here and there, and building a stronger basis/foundation for stuff that'll be important later on, like balloons s1 act remaining pathetic yet obviously manipulative and terrible, but not to the comical degree of original s1. but also having some moments really come through like cracks in the facade of this reality show!

for example: when the truth about taco is revealed to pickle he is a lot more obviously devastated and confused. maybe there's a strange and tonally different pause of "wait, what?" on his part after taco says she was never his friend, kinda like how in iii14 when the atmosphere gets oddly panicky when cabby talks about how she can't remember her parents, even when we know she has memory issues (this ALWAYS felt off to me in some way before the finale). we see him still very saddened in the background as journey through memory lane continues. this is kinda the first crack in all that pickle was made to be; a dumb, loyal and confident friend. now that he's been used, he's now left to deal with the emotional consequences (possibly in a way that wasn't planned by mephone4).

idk im going off the cuff here i just think itd be interesting. tonally it doesn't ever get near s2 as the show has yet to Grow Up at this point but it does have its moments that are Off. you know what i mean......

[multi-fandomdisaster]

One of the things at Kings Island from a potential lore perspective that has always somewhat intrigued me is the queue of The Beast.

I'll admit, if you've been in/seen The Beast's queue before, this may sound...a little silly. The Beast's queue is seemingly pretty barren of theming props (especially when you have things like the posters in Mystic Timbers, the preshow video building of Orion, and the entire queue of Flight of Fear to compare it to), but there are a couple of (in my opinion) particularly interesting props that are there that could imply a more interesting story.

I'm talking about (what I've personally dubbed) "the barrel pit" (which notably has large chains in it too)...

(Image 1 taken May 13, 2023. Image 2 taken April 20, 2024. Image 3 taken July 1, 2024)

...and the signs on the ceiling of the queue itself.

(Images 1 & 2 taken May 13, 2023)

"Beast Containment Area 1" and "Beast Containment Area 2" is what the signs say, Area 1 being the extended queue and Area 2 being the main queue. That, paired with the massive chains in the barrel pit which is located in between these two "containment areas," paints a pretty clear picture to me: at one point, the workers of the Kings Crossroads Consolidated Mining Company (the fictional mining company in The Beast's theme, the name of which can be found on a sign on a building at the entrance of The Beast's queue) had once captured and kept The Beast here.

I mentioned in a previous post that when The Beast first opened, there was a massive sign somewhere by the entrance that looked like this:

[The source of and the alt text for this image can also be found in that same previously-mentioned and linked post]

To sum it up, the president of the mining company (Charles J. Dinn, who fun fact: was the manufacturer of the ride Charles Dinn!) is asking for volunteers to join the mining company employees on a Beast hunt so that normal mining operations can begin again. I believe it's implied that at this point in time, you as the rider were maybe going on one of these hunts, but I don't have any way of confirming that. As of now, us as the riders don't seem to have any specific story-based mission, with the official description on Kings Island's app and website talking about the ride's historical and personal significance to the park (I think I read somewhere something about the changed story having something to do with the old minecarts coming back to life and you checking it out, but I lost that source to the void that is the internet years ago so don't quote me on that lol).

Before, I assumed that the at-the-time Little Miami Amalgamated Mining and Minerals Company was unsuccessful on its Beast hunt (as we still presumably have The Beast roaming around the forest of Rivertown today), but upon taking another/a closer look at these two queue details...perhaps they weren't as unsuccessful in their mission as I once thought.

There's a couple of specific things I believe that these queue details could tell us:

1. The size of The Beast

If we're assuming that the miners did indeed catch The Beast at some point and that "Beast Containment Area 1" and "Beast Containment Area 2" were where they kept it, then that could give us a pretty clear idea of just how large this Beast is. I mean, if you look at the way "Beast Containment Area 2" specifically is built, it's like a large wooden cage. I'll admit, I don't think wood would hold a creature like The Beast for very long, but it's still worth noting.

(Additionally, there's a couple of other signs in "Beast Containment Area 2" that say "Warning" and "Beast Unchained," which begs the question...if they were keeping The Beast there...were they keeping it unchained? I mean, I know what I said before about wood probably not being the smartest of materials to build a cage out of if they actually want to keep it there, but...these guys didn't seem all that great at their jobs here. Maybe they should have stuck with mining /silly)

2. The origin of The Beast's chains

As you may know, the logo of The Beast features the wooden track topped by two massive orange paws that are adorned with sharp silver claws and manacles on the creature's wrists. We see clear as day in the barrel pit large chains, and even some tie-down spots the chains may have once been attached to. Could this have been where The Beast's chains came from? Perhaps it originally chained down here, broke free of those chains, and ran back out into the forest.

That's all I've got for now. I'll might add more in a later post talking about all the signs in The Beast's station at a later date, but for now I hope you enjoyed my random Beast lore ramble! :D

(If you ever have any questions, feel free to ask me!)

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 70 Whelmed Posting

Subdued entry this time, dear void. And I'm back to form with a way-too-long yapfest.

Scans are too potato for me to TL the editor's notes this week, sorry. Might revisit when I can get a clean copy of the JP version.

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter mentions a very sensitive topic happening in canon (toned down in EN) and I will be talking about it near the end. I'll have another warning reminder for those who'd rather skip that part.

White Purity Mechanics and a GILF(?)

Helloooo handsome.

Wasn't expecting to see this guy yet or get detailed mechanics for how the sword style he founded works in the middle of a fight, but hey, it's fine. I guess. Awkward time for that lore dump but powerscalers will surely be happy. I'm interested in the details myself as a world-building nerd.

Short summary of his name here: Shirakai Itsuo (白廻 逸夫), the master of the White Purity style. 白廻 (shirakai) could be roughly translated as "white game" and 逸夫 (itsuo) could be idle/elusive husband lol. At the very least, shira (白) means "white" so that's most likely where that part of the technique's name came from.

As for the rest of it...

居合白禊流 - read as Iai Byaku Gei Riyuu 居合 (Iai) is obvious, that's the type of move being executed here. We know that Byaku comes from the On reading of 白 [shira, "white"]. What are the last two? 禊 is misogi, a Shinto purification ritual; it also means ritual purification or ablutions in general, and/or "...the Japanese mountain ascetic* practice of ritual purification" (thanks, Wikipedia). 流 [riyuu] is simply "school" of method.

Anyway, Hokazono-sensei hit us in the face with a wall of technical terms for how this school works and I had to admit defeat until someone I trusted translated the yap page for it... dear God. Surely the official release will not mangle anything so I won't have to bother that friend for help with TL notes.

I've been thinking that Chihiro is essentially a DPS guy out of the "holy trinity" (DPS, Support, Tank) for a bit now. He's always been about hitting fast and hard without much room for error on his part if he unexpectedly gets hit in return. Thank you, Shirakai, for proving this dumb pet theory correct. Gotta Go Fast: The Move is all about being the fastest guy in the room because if you hit them first then they can't hit you back, right?

The difficulty of mastery part is pretty standard shounen to me in order to explain why someone can't just teach Chihiro how to use it the normal way. Two 18-year-olds picked up the style on their own fairly easily, so while I know we're supposed to see that as proof of how talented those guys are, it's not really anything special to me as a reader. It's unconventional and hard to use because it needs to be for the story more than anything else.

The real meat of this explanation was how changing the grip of the sword on the fly so quickly is ackshully a metaphor for being able to change your mindset. We are continuing the old vs. new themes with the sword style directly now, since Shirakai was mocked for trying to perfect this impracticably difficult Iai move. But the "new" won out in the end since he got the last laugh over all of his detractors. His distraction-free, flexible quick thinking outdid every traditional master that faced him, or so we can infer.

Shame the second coming of this fight left me wholly unimpressed outside of Iori.

(*If you don't want to look it up, then "ascetic" is similar to "austere" in meaning and is specifically for strict self-denial mostly for religious discipline, but can apply for personal discipline too.)

"Whatever," the Fight and Iori

All I could think of during this scene was the two of them chilling awkwardly as pleasant background music played.

I'm not really sold on this fight, honestly. All I'm thinking right now is "good, now that it's over maybe we can go back to the interesting stuff". The poses were cool and all but the theme just isn't hitting. We flew through the buildup to this confrontation and all we got out it was Chihiro winning again despite us being reminded that he's tired, pushing himself too hard, and that Hiruhiko's coming in much fresher and scarier after killing the master of a style.

Kagurabachi's biggest strength was doing character development, exploring core themes, and having sick fights at the same time. But ever since we took a sudden swing into this Iori subplot I've felt like the author is trying to speed run it as fast as possible.

Everything through chapter 59 was awesome. We took the time to introduce characters, set up plot points, threats, and motives, had spectacle fights to get insight into Chihiro's mindset- all the same great stuff that we'd all come to expect. Then we put all that on the back-burner for something related-but-different that wasn't exactly a welcome surprise.

The author primed us for Seitei War reveals and examining guilt as part of legacy. Then the he snapped our necks 90 degrees to witness this sideshow with geniuses, old vs. new, and another thematic foil to Chihiro. Iori was meant to glue this all together and strongly connect it to the main plot we left behind in chapter 59 but it didn't work. She's just a well-designed narrative device instead of a character and I'm still waiting for this stuff to finish so we can go back to what I thought the main event was.

And yet.

She did her best to save this arc.

I do love Iori. She's defending without killing, doing just enough to disfinger her enemies and get them out of the fight. Thanks to her example, Chihiro is able to choose a path that doesn't necessarily involve killing Hiruhiko to win. Yeah the clown is probably still going to be around (sadly for me), just hopefully in a less carnival side-show capacity and more as a proper enemy. Maybe even an object for redemption...

But this is probably going to be the foundation for Chihiro being able to redeem himself from guilt- choosing when to kill instead of thinking of it as the default option. She showed him the best swordplay comes from stilling the mind and heart to attack the reason the enemy bares their fangs, not necessarily slay them. Killing the reason they hold a sword is as effective as killing them but without all the murder stuff. Staying tuned to see if/when this comes back.

The Warning Section

Skip this if Hiruhiko's backstory reveal is not something you want to see a yap about.

The EN version toned it down but the JP and apparently some other languages are explicit. Let Hakuri protect you if you'd rather not read about a slightly different version of "assault"...

Hakuri buffer image for safety (it's super effective).

Alright. For anyone still here...

The FUCK was that about in Japanese?

In case the EN tones it down (bet they will): in the OG Japanese, the language used is very explicit: 手篭にしようと迫る成人男性を噛み殺した昼彦にとって

手篭め [tegome] is literally "rape/violation" and doesn't have any other connotations than what it says on the tin. So yeah. In canon, Hiruhiko was SA'd at 3 years old.

I'm very sensitive about how backstories involving CSA are used for personal reasons. The way it was used here for Hiruhiko did just about everything wrong, in my opinion. Completely wiped out the goodwill I had towards the author after how Hakuri's backstory was handled during the Rakuzaichi arc.

reinforced the stereotype of being SA'd as a child = deeply damaged/dangerous later in life

same-sex SA reinforced men as predators AND homophobic stereotypes

added with no context or buildup just for the easy shock value and pity points

I'm not okay with this at all. The nicest thing I can say is that it's used to explain the feral, bloodthirsty part of his nature and not the social ineptitude (which is probably a personality quirk and/or related to how he was raised). He's twisted but in a way that leans more towards empowerment through activating his survival instincts. Still not at all appreciated though.

100% of my hatred for this comes from my own struggles I'll admit. To see them reflected this poorly in a series I adore by an author I trusted to handle sensitive topics with care really did a number on me. I expected better from the author than to rely on negative stereotypes for this sort of thing and clearly I was wrong. That's my fault and I know better now.

It's fine to use CSA as part of a character's backstory but it needs to be treated with far more care than it was here.

If this had been applied to Chihiro, Hakuri, Iori, or any of the good guys instead I feel like it would have been fine. To show that even if it happens to you, it doesn't make you a bad person who can't function safely around others.

It also would have been fine if it was to show Hiruhiko's a true survivor that needed some help he probably didn't get afterwards- and that's what led him to be the freak he is. If Hiruhiko isn't dead after this chapter there's still time to get into that aspect, maybe even make a point that proper support makes all the difference in a person's outcomes after that kind of trauma. But even if that is the intent, dropping that sort of event without context is a terrible move.

To compare to other traumatic character backstories... basically, Hiruhiko's debut hint doesn't match up with the traumatic event behind it at all.

Chihiro

Give this boy all the hugs he can tolerate.

We see this early in chapter 2 and it's not really a surprise, since the premise of the story is that Chihiro is walking the bloody road of revenge. Something traumatic clearly happened to Kunishige due to the timeskip to "every morning I wake up with fresh hatred" Chihiro meeting Shiba alone on the train in chapter 1, so we were primed for this sort of thing. Batman origin story and all that.

Char

Protect her at all costs.

Char clued us in early on by appearing as a scruffy orphan in her debut chapter- whatever happened to her was not exactly pleasant. From there we slowly learned how she and her mom were experimented on, then separated forever. The logical flow of meeting her, seeing what happened, then watching Chihiro set her on the path to healing made sense. Thankfully she's going to be OK and she will never, ever have anything bad happen to her again (so help me God).

Hakuri

Someone give him all the love he's never had PLEASE.

I already wrote eight thousand words about how Hakuri's traumatic backstory was portrayed in a very realistic and hard-hitting way. The second thing we learn about him being that he "lost his family" five years ago while he's dripping soda out of his mouth on his lonesome was a good clue as to what happened, even if he and the author buried the lede on exactly how that happened and how bad he had it. He lost their love, twisted and manipulative as it was, and endured literal torture to try and earn it back until Ice Lady's suicide snapped him out of it. I honestly can't praise the writing for this character enough.

Iori

She chose her own path in the end...

Being dropped on us out of nowhere as Samura's daughter that everyone's forgotten about wasn't exactly a welcome surprise. But at least it let us know that she's got some difficult circumstances- which could have been expected since she's the daughter of the current arc boss to beat, but still. Her home was trashed and her dad abandoned her and we probably have more to see now that she's remembered everything. But all the reveals so far have been in line with the kind of trauma we'd expect to see given how she was introduced.

Hiruhiko

"Let's be friends, fellow murderer."

And then there's this guy.

Hakuri's the closest comparison to Hiruhiko in presentation with all the understatement going on. But we spent his intro to chapter 24 getting hints that there's something wrong with him that he wasn't talking about. Then we got context for his suicidal jump immediately afterwards, as well as even more hints that his issues go deeper than we've seen.

Hiruhiko's backstory had no build up to the reveal that he was SA'd as a toddler. We only knew he was a freaky, poorly socialised guy the same age as Chihiro who killed at the age of 3. Making us ask what circumstances would force and enable him to do such a thing was good- that's a decent hook to keep us interested in what his deal is while the immediate stuff is going on. Hokazono did it for all the other characters in this list too.

What flopped was the shocker reveal. That single line of "oh, he was assaulted by an adult man, anyway-" was pathetically delivered if it was meant to be an example of understatement. You cannot drop a heavy and sensitive backstory with no follow up. You cannot have it done by the omniscient narrator to launch into why he's such a battle genius.

The biggest problem really is that it's a convenient explanation more than something to explore like every other character's trauma was. When we got those horrific reveals, time was spent looking at them on the page and showing how it affected them. We saw Chihiro and Char crying and looking despondent, Hakuri internalising a harmful mindset about himself, now we've seen Iori pass out from the burden, waver, and will see more exploration of her difficult past to come.

But Hiruhiko, even if we do revisit this topic for him, got nothing except a long yap about what a genius of combat it made him. Nothing at all about his pain or the ramifications. If we still have more to learn about that incident then good, I fucking hope so. But it'll be too little to late for me. I don't know what I did to deserve the friends who helped pull me out of the tailspin this chapter caused, but I'm incredibly grateful to have them in my life.

So...

Current feelings. Also done after this, promise.

Hokazono-sensei isn't "cooked' or on a downswing, burning out early, deserving of being cancelled, or anything like that. I think we're just finally seeing the signs that he's a mangaka being serialised for the first time.

I still like the manga but I feel kind of isolated in being one of the apparent few that isn't having a good time with the story as it is right now. I've been waiting for the issues I've had with this arc to be resolved for a while but they seem to continue piling up. There will still be celebrations of hype moments and good writing but I'm not so keen on giving the author the benefit of the doubt any more.

I'm probably going to be more critical of the manga from hereon out so I don't mind if you unfollow me, dear void. I'm not above being a little anxious and upset when I see that folks have dropped me, but I also didn't start posting to gain a massive following. The idea was that I'd get my thoughts out there and hope a few folks were interested in what I had to say. That's happened and I don't want to chase validation through interaction numbers.

Right now I'm probably going to dial down the investment until either Hakuri comes back or we finally return to the Samura/Seitei War plotline. I feel like Hokazono tried to rush through this subplot with Iori and Hiruhiko as fast as he could to do just that, but that makes me ask a few questions.

What is the purpose of introducing Iori if we are trying to bumrush her big part of the story? Just to be a narrative tool? She's a contrast/compliment to Chihiro, a plot device, and a convenient excuse to get some fights on screen. But the execution was clumsy. It feels like she doesn't exist as a character herself but as a bundle of concepts to glue this arc's themes together and help the segue back into the main story.

Is this sort of thing going to happen every time the author wants to explore a new theme? Are we going to see Hakuri, Hiyuki, Shiba, Iori, and the rest shoved offscreen to introduce a new character tailor-made to explore things the way the author wants to instead of building on older ones? Hiyuki's a total unknown, why not use her? Why not give Shiba some screen time? I get that there are plans for them later on but frankly my patience has run out.

Are we going to see Chihiro running on fumes forever? Right now it doesn't seem like it matters that he's pushing himself too hard- he still got the better of Hiruhiko in round 2. I'm starting to get annoyed that we are being told Chihiro's exhausted, and sometimes shown it, but all of that goes out the window when it's time for him to look cool. Will this ever pay off in the narrative? If not, it's better to stop bringing it up so we stop thinking about it.

I'm still going to be here. I'm just not going to be glazing everything I like and hoping the things I don't like get better with future context any more. There's clear weaknesses in the writing that I can't overlook any longer. That said, I don't want each entry to become a negative rant, so moderation and objectivity as much as possible will be the name of the game.

Alright. If you got through all of this, thank you. Maybe see you next time if I'm still your cup of tea. If not, no hard feelings. Take care of yourself.

[luckyroll3]

Unexpected Chapter 10: Questioning, Wavering, Weakening

Unexpected Masterlist Previous Chapter

Chan

Chan reclined on the couch in the living room area of his suite wearing only black boxer briefs, his legs stretched out long. He was enjoying his texts with Mia. Their conversation was guiding him toward something he couldn't quite define but knew he wanted to pursue.

His lips curved into a smile thinking about how daring she was when she shared that his song turned her on. It suggested to him that she might be interested in more than just playful banter.

As he waited for her to respond to his last text about her becoming addicted to him, he chewed his lower lip, pondering over their connection. Was this just harmless fun, or was it building into something more?

Mia: Addiction implies I have no control. But I'm all about taking the reins. I like to be the boss. I like to be on top. Can you handle that?

Chan's heart skipped a beat at her boldness. It was that fire, that self-assured spark, that drew him to her. He felt a magnetic pull towards Mia, a desire to know her beyond the confines of their phones.

International Superstar Bang Chan: Then maybe it's time we stop talking about control and start talking about surrender…

Mia: Who’s surrendering to who??

International Superstar Bang Chan: That can be negotiated... Although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some very dirty thoughts crossing my mind just now…

Chan imagined her reactions to his words, the way her breath might quicken or her clit might twitch as she read them. His hand reached down to adjust his cock. This back and forth had started to make him hard.

Mia: Hmmm. Are you suggesting a truce then?

International Superstar Bang Chan: Only if it leads to mutually assured satisfaction. 😃

Mia: Mutually assured satisfaction... I think I can agree to those terms.

Chan decided to push a bit further. He pressed the video button to call her. He wanted to see her.

Mia’s image came up on his screen. She was lying on her bed wearing a black satin cap with some of her curls trying to escape and a white tank top with no bra. His eyes lingered for a few seconds on her nipples poking through the thin fabric. He glanced down at his lap, where his erection was now tenting his boxer briefs. She was driving him crazy.

“Hi,” she said, a small smile playing on her lips. “This is unexpected.”

“Hi,” Chan replied. “I was thinking about our texts and thought it would be nice to actually see your reactions to what I’m saying.” He winked playfully.

Mia’s cheeks flushed lightly, as she stammered, “Oh, um… I… Well here I am.” She tried to run her fingers through her hair, but realized she was wearing the cap. “Oh wow,” she said as she pulled it off her head and tossed it to the side, her curls tumbling down. “That’s not really for public viewing!” She laughed at herself as she fluffed her hair.

Chan chuckled. “Don’t worry about it,” Chan reassured her, his voice low and sultry. “I’m enjoying what I’m seeing.” He licked his lips slowly.

“You are very bold, sir, you know that?” she asked as she turned to lie on her side.

“I think you like it.” He smirked.

“I kinda do.” Her eyes twinkled as she smiled back.

Chan’s grin widened at the prospect of her liking him just as much as he liked her.

“So, I have a question,” she asked, her voice dropping low.

“Yeah?”

“The other night, at your party,” Mia said. Chan raised an eyebrow interested to know where this was going. She continued, “I know I said I wasn’t going to ask, but I’m curious. What bad things were you up to? What were these ‘bad decisions’?”

Chan laughed and rubbed his face with his free hand, then covered his eyes.. “Oh man!”

“That bad, huh?” She grinned.

“Not really. Just a bit embarrassing.” He peaked at her from behind his fingers.

“Do tell,” she urged.

“Okay. When you messaged me, I was in the middle of, um…” He sucked air in through his teeth and dropped his hand from his face before continuing, “I was getting a blow job.”

“Oh really!” Mia said looking more amused than Chan expected her to.

He nodded.

“Why would that be embarrassing?” she asked with a grin.

“I had way too much to drink and I couldn’t really get it up, you know.” He let out a laugh as Mia made a ‘poor baby’ face. “But then I saw your text and schwing!” He lowered his voice and added, “I started to picture your lips around my cock and that did the trick.” His hand instinctively reached for his dick as he recalled the moment, giving it a light rub to calm it down.

Both of Mia’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Sorry if that was out of line,” he added quickly.

They sat in silence for a moment staring at each other through their phones. Then Mia said, “No need to apologize. Just glad I could help sort that out for you.” She giggled. “What happened after that?” she playfully asked.

“I kicked her out so that I could message you back, and then I went to sleep,” he confessed.

“Such a gentleman,” she teased, grinning.

“Only sometimes. Most of the time I’m led by my dick, and it often gets me in trouble.” He shakes his head.

“Not with me though…” Mia said, her tone playful, yet seductive.

Chan let out a deep sigh. “If you only knew…”

“Knew what?” Mia pried, curiosity getting the best of her.

“Knew what you do to me.” Chan held up his phone wide and angled it downward past his sculpted chest and chiseled abs to his hip area, revealing the outline of his erection. A small smirk played at the corners of his lips as he watched Mia’s eyes widen again as she took him in. She bit her lip, unable to tear her gaze away from the tantalizing sight before her. The action caused Chan’s own body to react even more strongly. “I’ve been nursing this bad boy ever since you made that ‘wet’ comment,” he admitted huskily.

“Oh… my,” Mia whispered, her voice soft and breathy as she held her gaze steady on the view before her. “I definitely wasn’t expecting that.” She brought her hand to her neck and slowly brushed it down her throat and rested it on her chest. Chan brought the phone back up to his face to get a closer look at her. “Too bad I can’t help with that….”

Chan was so caught off guard by her response that he started to laugh loudly. Mia quickly joined in.

“Sorry, when I see a beautiful man with an erect penis in my face, I just want to provide all the support I can…” Chan watched as she curled up into a ball, unable to control her laughter.

“I can’t with you,” Chan chuckled. “How can you be so sexy and so ridiculous at the same time?”

“It’s a skill!” she replied. She brushed her curls out of her face as she turned onto her back. “So… you think I'm sexy, huh?”

He nodded slowly. “I think you know you’re sexy, Mia.” Mia smiled softly, as they both got quiet. One of her tank top straps had slid down her arm, revealing her bare shoulder and just a hint of the top of her breast. Chan couldn’t tear his eyes away from her smooth, golden-brown skin.

“I… really like you,” she said softly, snapping him out of his daze. ”Maybe a little too much.”

He raised his eyes to hers. “Me too.” Chan took a deep breath to summon the courage he needed. "I was wondering... Would you want to go out with me? Like, on a real date?" He couldn’t remember the last time he’d asked someone on a date. Definitely pre-debut. He was so nervous.

The question hung in the air. Maybe Chan had miscalculated.

"Okay," she finally said, her voice a mix of trepidation and excitement. "Yes, let's do it."

"Great! How about tomorrow night? There's this rooftop place I’ve heard is nice..."

"Sounds perfect," Mia replied, a smile easing across her lips.

****

As Jack, Chan’s bodyguard, parked the SUV, Chan caught a glimpse of Mia standing on the sidewalk. She was wearing a tailored, black mini dress hugging all her curves. The dress matched the fitted black slacks and black buttoned-down shirt Chan had on.

“I’ll go check in with the manager and make sure they made the arrangements I asked for,” Jack said, his Australian accent very similar to Chan’s. He handed Chan a white envelope. “Don’t forget to have her sign this.”

“Yup! Nothing more romantic than asking your date to sign an NDA,” Chan joked as he accepted the envelope.

“You’ve never had a problem with it before, Chris.” Jack looked at Chan with his typical deadpan face.

“Well, I wasn’t trying to have a relationship with any of the others before, Jack.” Chan responded, matching his tone. Chan usually wasn’t so flippant with staff, but Jack had been part of his team for the last five years. He was more than his bodyguard; he was also a trusted friend. Given they were both from Sydney and only a couple years apart in age, they had a lot in common. And Chan knew he could count on Jack to always be upfront and blunt with him.

“Regardless of the intentions, you know the rules. And it’s my job to be sure you’re protected.” Jack clapped him on the shoulder before opening the car door.

“Yeah, yeah.” Chan jumped out and walked towards Mia.

The cool evening breeze carried the buzz of conversations and the clinking of glasses from inside the restaurant.

“Hey you,” Chan said to Mia as he slipped his hand around her waist.

Mia turned around, her dark red lips curled up into a smile. “Hi.” She kissed him on the cheek as she wrapped her arms around his neck for a hug. Chan breathed in her scent and squeezed her tight.

“You look great,” he said when they broke their embrace. “Jack’s just checking things out inside. They should be able to take us up in a second.

“Jack, your very large shadow?” she asked.

He chuckled, “Yeah.”

“Is he also joining us for dinner?” She smiled.

“No. He’s just dropping me off.” Chan grabbed her hand. “I’ve missed you.” He pulled her in for another hug.

She rested her head on his shoulder. “You smell good,” she whispered.

"Good evening," the host greeted them with a practiced smile. They broke apart, but Chan kept hold of Mia’s hand. “We’re ready for you.” He led them in. Mia and Chan followed behind. Chan’s attention was all on Mia; no one else in the crowded restaurant mattered.

The host led them to the roof. "Here we are," the host announced, gesturing to a secluded table with an impeccable view of the skyline.

"Thank you," Chan said, pulling out a chair for Mia. She took a seat, smoothing down the fabric of her dress, while Chan settled in the chair on the right edge of the table. The city lights winked beneath them.

"Beautiful place," Mia commented.

"It really is,” Chan replied, his gaze holding hers. “Um, before I forget.” He fished the envelope out of his pocket and slid it over to her. “I need you to sign this. Jack has been on my ass about it.”

“Sign? What is it?” She opened the envelope and took a peek inside.

“NDA. Company rule.”

“Ah. To keep me from spreading all the secrets you’ve been sharing.” She grinned at him.

“Exactly. No one else needs to know about my poster kissing escapades!”

“Ha! I’ll have my lawyer look at it and get back to you.” She slipped the envelope into her purse.

Chan watched as Mia's fingers tapped rhythmically on the white linen tablecloth, her gaze drifting over the glittering cityscape. The soft ambient light from the sconces bathed their table in warmth. She turned her attention back to Chan.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

Mia glanced down at the menu, its pages filled with an array of dishes.

"How about we order a bunch of these small plates?" she suggested, tapping a painted fingernail against the menu. "We can share and sample a little bit of everything. It'll be fun, like a journey for our taste buds."

"Perfect idea," Chan agreed, his smile genuine and encouraging. "Nothing spicy though!" Mia laughed at him.

They pointed out their chosen dishes to each other—pan-seared scallops, crispy calamari, a gourmet cheese platter, and more.

Sitting on Mia’s right, Chan studied her profile as she spoke, the way her eyes lit up when something piqued her interest, the expressive gestures of her hands. He was captivated by her confidence, her spark.

"Let's not forget dessert," he added. "There should always be room for something sweet."

"Agreed. You're talking to someone who believes chocolate is its own food group," Mia confessed with a playful grin.

"Then it's settled. We'll end on a chocolate note," Chan declared, as if sealing a pact between them.

As they set the menu aside, waiting for the waiter to return, the anticipation of the meal became secondary to the growing closeness between them. Chan's foot brushed accidentally against Mia's under the table, a fleeting touch that sent ripples through the calm facade each maintained.

"Sorry," he murmured, though the brief contact lingered like an unspoken promise.

"Nothing to apologize for," Mia replied. His heart skipped a beat as she met his gaze.

The waiter arrived and took their order.

“So,” Mia started. “Tell me about your last relationship.”

“Oh, we’re going there? What happened to small talk?” Chan grinned.

“We’ve had small talk,” Mia replied. “Time for real talk. So spill.” Chan liked her lack of pretense.

Chan leaned back in his chair, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. "My last relationship was... complicated. We started off strong. We’d known each other for years because we were both trainees at the company. Started off as friends and developed a romance. We were young and in love, so it was intense and passionate. But as time went on, things started to change. She debuted and leaned in really hard to the whole ‘available idol’ thing that the company pushes, and she started to pull away. And as her group started getting big, SKZ was getting ready to debut. We both got super busy and caught up in our careers and we drifted apart.” He took a sip of his water. “I always say that it was a mutual decision to end things, but it wasn’t. I was willing to figure it out, figure out what worked for us. But she was over it. Too into being a star. She broke my heart, and it was painful. I haven’t really been in a relationship since then. I just preferred to focus on easy, on having fun. I realized that if I were to get into another relationship, I need someone who can support me. Someone who's there through the highs and lows, and the uncertainty. And also willing to figure shit out when it gets complicated.”

“That sounds tough. Is this how you got into your fuck boy Bang Chan era?”

Chan chuckled. “Yeah, that was the catalyst for sure. I was a choir boy before that.”

“Somehow I doubt that!” Mia laughed and Chan joined her. Well not quite a choir boy, but Mia didn’t need to hear about all that. At least not right now.

“How about you? Who was the dumbass that let you go?” Chan asked instead.

Mia chuckled bitterly. “He’s a charming guy, very good-looking, and a lawyer. We were together for over 6 years and I thought we had a pretty solid foundation since we’d been friends for a long time before that, although we wanted slightly different things. I didn’t want kids, he did. I wanted to settle down and get married, he thought it was too soon. But we worked, at least in the beginning. He was also generally a shit person, but I looked past all of that because he’s a love bomber, and it took me a while to see through the dysfunction. And then I found out he was cheating and had been cheating for most of our relationship. When I confronted him about it, he lied to my face. I believed him the first time, but then it happened again and again. I couldn’t take the lies followed by the empty apologies and his claims of loving only me, only to repeat the bad behavior. So, I left. That was 2 years ago.”

“I’m so sorry Mia,” Chan said as he reached over and took her hand. “And how did he take that?”

“He thought I would get over it. He still thinks that. And my sister loves him, so she’s always trying to push us back together.” Mia sighed. “And it probably doesn’t help that we still fuck on occasion.”

“Oh yeah? When was the last time?” Chan hoped she hadn’t heard the jealousy in his voice.

“Probably about 2 weeks ago.” Chan noted how nonchalant her reply was. “But when I left his place this last time, I kind of swore off men.”

“Really?”

“Yup. I didn’t want to deal with any of you anymore. I made a commitment to my vibrator.” She laughed.

Chan smirked at her joke, then looked at Mia warmly. “It can be hard to begin a new relationship after being hurt. It leaves scars that sometimes make us hesitate to jump in again.”

"Scars can be reminders," Mia said quietly, "reminders of what we've survived. I've learned so much about myself from past loves, from the failures. They taught me strength, but also caution."

"Caution isn't a bad thing," Chan conceded. "It means you're learning, growing. It doesn't get easier, but maybe we get better at navigating the pain."

"Maybe." Mia's fingers traced the edge of her napkin, a barrier against the swell of memories. "But sometimes, it feels like one heartbreak could be the one too many, you know?"

Chan nods quietly.

"Chan, there's something else," Mia began, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm done with defining myself through relationships. I just need to be ‘me’.” Chan nodded again. “And there's the age difference between us, society's expectations..."

"Age is just a number," Chan interjected gently. "What matters is how we feel, not what others think."

"Still, it's intimidating," Mia confessed, her vulnerability laid bare between them. "To start over, to risk judgment, to embrace something that might defy norms."

"Then let's not define it," Chan suggested, his voice steady. "Let's just be two people who enjoy each other's company, and see where it leads. No pressure, no labels."

"Can it really be that simple?" Mia pondered aloud, the idea both terrifying and freeing.

"Only one way to find out." Chan's smile was an invitation, a challenge soothing her worries.

Their conversation shifted to lighter topics, then eventually turned to the difficulties of fame.

"Sometimes," Chan began, his voice a soothing timbre in the cool night air, "the spotlight can feel like a cage. Fans... they mean well, but they can hold on too tightly." He paused, searching for understanding in Mia's expressive eyes. "It's not always easy balancing who you are with who the world wants you to be."

Mia nodded, the weight of his words sinking in. She'd seen enough headlines to imagine the fervor of K-pop fandoms and the scrutiny public figures like Chan faced. "It must be suffocating at times," she said softly, empathy warming her tone.

"It can be," he admitted, his hands coming together in a thoughtful gesture. "But then there are moments like this—real, honest connections that make it worthwhile. It's about finding someone who sees beyond the persona."

A smile danced on Chan's lips, and he leaned forward, closing the distance between them. His gaze flickered to her lips and back to her eyes.

"I see," Mia whispered back, aware of the growing intimacy as the space between them hummed with potential.

Their candid exchange was gently interrupted by the waiter's approach. He set several steaming plates and bowls on their table.

Chan leaned back in his chair, the soft glow of string lights above casting a warm halo around Mia. She seemed to shimmer against the backdrop of the city skyline.

Mia reached out to the center of the table, her fingers grazing the warm porcelain of one of the shared plates, her other hand tucked under her chin as she watched Chan's reaction to his first bite. The rooftop restaurant buzzed with the muted conversations of other diners, but their table felt like an island in a sea of ambient noise.

"Wow," Chan exclaimed after sampling the delicate ceviche, "this is phenomenal."

"Right?" Mia said, her lips curving up at his evident pleasure. She took her own bite, the flavors bursting on her tongue in a symphony of citrus and salt. She caught his eye, and they shared a smile that seemed to acknowledge the subtle shift between them—a shared experience made sweeter by mutual enjoyment.

"Try this one," Chan suggested, using his fork to feed her.

"Thank you," she murmured before she wrapped her lips around the fork. Chan held his breath at the sight as he slowly pulled the fork back. His gaze lingered on her lips as she chewed. He wished those lips were wrapped around something else…

He forced himself to return his gaze to her eyes. "Tell me,” he began, his voice low and inviting, "what's a dream you've harbored, something that's yours alone?"

Mia paused, her fingers tracing the rim of her water glass. "I've always wanted to write," she confessed, her gaze lifting to meet his. "Not just reports or articles, but a novel, something that speaks of the human condition, our struggles, joys... life."

"Ah," Chan said. "To create worlds with words, that's a beautiful aspiration." He took a bite of an empanada.

"Your turn," she said, tucking that rebellious curl behind her ear. "What's one thing you dream about that the world doesn't already know about Bang Chan?"

He hesitated, running his fingers through his hair—his tell when he tread into deeper waters of thought. "I want to build a place,” he started, “a space where kids can come to find their voice through music, without fear or restriction. A sanctuary for creativity, irrespective of their backgrounds."

"Chan, that's..." Mia's voice trailed off, her admiration evident. "That's incredible."

Their eyes held each other's gazes, lingering longer than necessary. The air between them felt charged, heavy with unsaid words and unexplored emotions.

"Beyond the dreams," Mia ventured, her eyes squinting with interest, "what makes Bang Chan happy? Not the idol, not the performer, but you, the man behind all the fame."

"That’s Chris,” he corrected her, “Not Bang Chan. Call me Chris.”

“Okay, what makes Chris happy?” He appreciated the way she made the correction so effortlessly. She wasn’t taken aback or offended like others tended to be when he asked them to make the distinction between the real him and the version of him he needed to be as an idol.

“Simple things," he replied, his thumb grazing her hand gently. "Sunsets after a long day. The sounds of waves crashing on a beach. The quiet moments before the storm of performance hits. And..." His eyes searched hers, "conversations like this, with someone who sees beyond the facade."

Mia's breath caught in her throat at the sincerity in his voice. "For me, it’s laughter, the kind that comes from deep within, shared with people who mean the world to me. And these days," she added, her courage bolstered by the honesty in his eyes, "it's finding beauty in unexpected places—like a rooftop restaurant with an intriguing man with a cute accent." Chan blushed a little.

Their meal continued, punctuated by laughter and shared secrets. With each story, each glance, the air between them crackled with the promise of something more. As the plates emptied and the city lights twinkled below, Mia and Chan found themselves leaning in, drawn by the magnetic force of their proximity.

"Your laugh," Chan said quietly, his hand reaching across the table to cover hers, "I think it's my new favorite sound."

Chan's gaze lingered on Mia's lips, his heart drumming a rapid rhythm against his ribs. The cityscape stretched out before them was breathtaking, yet it paled in comparison to the gorgeous woman sitting across from him. As if pulled by an invisible thread, Chan noticed her inching closer.

"Chris," she whispered, her voice barely rising above the gentle hum of the bustling restaurant around them.

He leaned in, his eyes searching hers for any sign of hesitation. Finding none, he closed the gap, capturing her lips with his own. It was a kiss that spoke of pent-up longing and whispered promises—a confluence of all their shared moments thus far.

For Chan, the kiss was a revelation. Mia's lips were soft, yielding beneath his, and her subtle sigh was like music to his ears. She tasted of the wine they'd shared and something uniquely her—bold and intoxicating. His hand found its way to the nape of her neck, fingers threading through her curls as he deepened the kiss. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d kissed someone, much less like this – so passionately.

As they parted, breaths intermingling in the cool night air, Chan's mind raced. This was what he'd wanted, wasn't it? To feel alive, desired, connected? He hoped she felt the same.

“Wow….” Mia whispered.

Chan grinned. "I didn't quite catch that," he quipped, a hint of mischief in his voice.

Mia couldn't suppress the laugh that bubbled up within her. She leaned into him slightly, a sense of ease and comfort settling around them like a warm blanket.

"I think it was something like 'unbelievable' or 'mind-blowing'," she said, her eyes locked with his.

Chan chuckled, his hand still gently resting on her neck. "Well, I'm glad I could be those things for you," he said, his voice low and sultry. Without hesitation he pulled her back in for another kiss, his tongue pushing its way into her mouth, eagerly tasting and exploring.

He broke away from her lips. "Isn't it amazing?" he whispered, his breath warm against her cheek. "To find someone who makes your heart race, your soul sing, and your body crave more." His free hand reached out to touch hers and they gently intertwined their fingers.

Mia's eyes locked onto Chan's. “You and your words…” The city below seemed to disappear, replaced by only the two of them and the intoxicating connection between them. "I think I must be crazy," she confessed, her voice barely audible above the low hum of the bustling city. "But I can't deny the way you make me feel."

Chan's grin widened, a sparkle in his eyes that spoke volumes. "And I can't deny it either." He leaned in, his lips brushing against her ear as his hand slid down slowly from her neck, over her breast, down her side and hip, and coming to rest on her thigh. "I want this. I want you, Mia Sharpe. Let me have you," he whispered. He pressed a kiss into his neck and squeezed the flesh on her thigh. He wanted her so badly, his stomach ached.

Mia sighed softly at Chan’s touch. “Chris,” Mia began, her voice soft. “Whatever this is, we need to take the time to build it. I’m not looking to rush into anything right now, despite how much I like you.”

He searched her face, his brow creased as he thought about her words. "Slow is okay," he assured her, his voice low and earnest. "I want you, Mia. But only at a pace you're comfortable with."

Chan's heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time he ‘took it slow’ with a woman. It was hard to take it slow when all he ever wanted to do was fuck and nothing else. But for her, he was willing to do anything, and he wasn’t quite sure why.

He watched Mia, her eyes reflecting a sky full of stars and a vulnerability he was sure she so rarely showed. His fingers were still tangled with hers, warmth spreading at the point of contact as if her touch was the only thing keeping him grounded.

"Thank you," she sighed, her shoulders relaxing slightly—a silent acknowledgment of his understanding.

"Hey," Chan said, leaning closer so that their foreheads nearly touched, "as long as I get to see you, spend time with you, talk to you, I’m good. I’m here for the next few months and we can see what develops."

“Sounds perfect,” Mia replied back.

A/N: Song: Want Artist: Disturbed

[arealcrow]

video about venetian architecture: so you get this dematerialization of surface that's really quite extraordinary

me: *nodding like i understand*

[whatudottu]

Honestly I’d love to see the Ben 10 fandom go more in-depth as to what the galactic audience’s thoughts regarding interspecies relationships and what dynamics formed between different species are like. Is dating To'kustars or Galvans when you’re not a To’kustar or Galvan frowned upon due to the severe height difference involved? Are there debates on whether it’s ethical to date a Vulpimancer or not? Is a Galvan dating a Galvanic Mechamorphs seen as a power imbalance? What would a romantic relationship between a Petrosapien and a Tetramand be like, or a queerplatonic one between an Ectonurite and a Lepidopterran be like, or even a platonic/familial one between a Kineceleran and a Pyronite?

Heheh, I really like thinking about the interplanetary community and it’s dynamics throughout the cosmos in the Ben 10 series, because I dunno it’s like rife with potential for worldbuilding and I guess political drama? Because apparently I like fictional political drama? I guess when it’s fictional it doesn’t affect anyone so it can be played around with in interesting ways.

Got some talking points down below hehe-

I have like SO MANY headcanons about how the interplanetary community treats vulpimancers, though to be fair I have like an unrefined list of notes about the chronology of Vulpin politics and ideologies that I haven’t neatened up yet, and one of those headcanons is the difficulties they face trying to prove themselves just as sapient as the other species; amongst all the bullshit that does bring, interspecies relationships are also affected by that bias. And the fact that you bring up the implied dynamic between creator (the galvan) and creation (galvanic mechamorphs) is interesting too because also, you can kinda also have debates about ‘is it ethical to date the first generation of a species’ especially in comparison to galvans who seem to have quite long lives, ‘is it ethical for a long living species to date a species by all means younger in their entirety than they are’ type questions-

It also isn’t just like the general interplanetary community though it’s also just the differing planetary communities (with their differing nations etc etc until we get to the individual) that also butt heads with each other- an ectonurite’s family really REALLY pushing for them to ‘get together’ with their queerplatonic lepidopterran partner before they have to host a funeral one day vs the lepidopterran having to explain to their hive that they’re happy with their ectonurite partner especially without the pressure of it being romantic there’s so many others that can and do *coughs into hand* ‘contribute’ to the hive population! Or or! The kineceleran not giving two shits about their pyronite sibling from another… pibling? Ah whatever- being so frickin’ slow because they can both bond over sports vs the pyronite wanting to share one of their thrill seeking traditions from back home with a race in their stunt car against their kineceleran cuz’ own personal wheels!

Lowkey I kinda made at least a concept for a tetramand/petrosapien couple which I based on a pseudo sumo wrestling match I saw at school once where one of the participants was slammed into the ground but they quickly switched their positions to roll the person on top so fast the crowd thought THEY were the one to win and not the person they flipped who won first- I mean! In my sphere of headcanons about petrosapiens and Petropia is that they barely got much chance to interact with the universe at large (being cracked open by the fulmini before Plumber intervention set them off plus doing something similar but… a little MORE to what they did on Revonnah) and so modern interplanetary discussions about any petrosapien relationship is ‘i thought they were extinct?’ and especially with tetramands intense courtship it may even skip straight to ‘oh they might as well be extinct’. Not exactly pleasant to hear, compounded by the rare potential someone happens to know - to put it in gross terms - a ‘suitable mate’ with the opposite sex of the petrosapien they’re pestering. At that point you’d better hope it wasn’t the tetramand/petrosapien pair because if the petrosapien doesn’t stab you over the offence, the tetramand would put you in your place, as legally able to as they’d can just to piss them off :P

Do you think if a galvan and a to’kustar were dating it’d be considered a ‘long distance relationship’ :P?