#ironically was actually never THAT into fanfic as a teen

[sprolden]

I guess I always assumed I would get less into fandom as I got older and for the most part that has been true, I am a lot less obsessive about it than I was as a teen, but it's like. always going to be there i fear. if we're being honest I'll probably still be loading up ao3.org for a bedtime story by the time I'm 83

[celaenaeiln]

C: Hi there! Even if I've been reading dick Grayson(and in turn batfamily) fics for a few weeks now, I've never actually watched/read DC stuff because even if I liked superheroes, I'm not invested enough to read the actual comics. The most I watched was the Teen Titans 2003 cartoon(which I love). I was brought into interest cause I was brought in through crossovers of other fandoms (which may be hated by some/many😅)

To give myself context, I tried to read around for Robin, and imagine my surprise there's more than one? Which, okay mantle thing I guess. But in the end, Dick Grayson caught my attention(not rlly for his looks and design, but more of his heroism and entire personality and affect in the DC world). Which leads to looking at other tumblrs and I love reading yours and when you answer the asks cause it's so much easier for me to understand the kind of person Dick is and how he interacts with the world.

Sorry for this long context, but I just want maybe your opinion, what if your opinion in the combination of how Dick Grayson should be written for him to Thrive

- Should he stay in Gotham, being in with the batfamily more? Soloing in Bludhaven? Staying with the titans? Or others?

- what about his romantic relationships? Who should be is one true one(based on canon gfs), or maybe stay single? (Just gonna be biased, but I've only knew about dickbabs and dickkory (but I heard he has other girlfriends and I've remember reading he was almost married...a few times??) but dickkory had always been for me)

- What about mentally wise? (Of course, I do think Dick needs a long vacation because of all the trauma that he has to go through), but even if I like the idea of Dick being admired for his looks because he deserves it, but I do rmbr posts that he is uncomfy with this(sexualisation, Def only staying true to the person he loves (then there's the whole...Tarantula and more thing)

Tbf, I do think is a little bit of all is what makes Dick, Dick. Haha

Sorry for the long ask, feel free to not answer because i just needed to get this out😅. I know it's actually bad I'm reading fics without canon knowledge for personality, but your posts makes me understand him more that I understand what's real and what's fanon in fics (that makes me..ugh.. but I read anyway for plot cause i don't know better)

But thank you anyway for reading this and I love your content!

(last one for this ask I swear: I've been seeing stuff where Robin name is actually Dick's mom calling Dick that. Then it's passed down as a mantle starting from Jason without Dick consenting. I tried to read at wiki, maybe I missed out but I can't find anything. Is it true? Does the other bats (except Bruce and Alfred?) know the actual meaning? Because as much as I love Dami, the whole bloodson, birthright to take the mantle of Robin beside Batman give me ugh feelings if it's true) :C

First of all, thank you so much!! I'm so happy to hear you like my stuff <333!!

I think it's fine that you started in the fandom since I sort of started out that way too lol. I had only watched Teen Titans Animated show and Young Justice before I got into fanfics and my first comic I ever read was actually Teen Titans (2011) which was Tim's run. It's been a journey.

Dick's personality was also what captivated me so here I am!

"Should he stay in Gotham, being in with the batfamily more? Soloing in Bludhaven? Staying with the titans? Or others?"

That's a really good question and a complex one. Ironically, for being such a people person, Dick seems to be doing best when he's by himself. When he's soloing, he has a sense of freedom and independence that he's been craving for a long time. The whole reason he left Bruce was because he felt like Bruce was suddenly treating him like a kid, like someone to look after, when he had been treating Dick like a partner the whole time. When Dick feels like his independence is being stepped on, it unsettles him. This is another reason why the Tom Taylor run and Dick's relationship pisses me off but that's for another time. As much as he likes Gotham, he loves Bludhaven. He thinks it's a dirty, crime-filled city, sure, but he loves it there.

He's a little crazy like that.

He doesn't have the same attachment to Gotham that Bruce does. Instead he feels that for Bludhaven.

The only reason I'm saying Dick is better off staying alone than with the Titans is because of his leadership mentality. There's a comic that I forgot the name of but Dick teams up with members of the Justice League and they trapeze through a jungle under the orders of this corrupt military general. He teams up with Arthur and automatically starts commanding people to which Aquaman tells him off, saying this isn't the Titans. Dick is genuinely sorry and backs off. For a minute. But immediately goes right back into command mode but Arthur lets it go, realizing that Dick's not conscious of it and that his behaviour is automatic. "Too many leaders" he calls the situation in his head. For Dick, the Titans have become a responsibility now. He loves them like crazy but they look up at him automatically for directions and order and he's gotten so used to leading them that it's his go to mode.

He just likes doing stuff without someone hovering over his shoulder or having to take care of others.

"what about his romantic relationships? Who should be is one true one(based on canon gfs), or maybe stay single? (Just gonna be biased, but I've only knew about dickbabs and dickkory (but I heard he has other girlfriends and I've remember reading he was almost married…a few times??) but dickkory had always been for me)"

Yeah, I've actually loved almost all of his romantic relationships. I hate Dickbabs but every other one has been fantastic. Kori was great for him.

Action Comics (1938) Issue #618

Dick says it again here. He used to envy Roy's freedom. He's also said in another comic that he fell in love with Kori for her freedom.

Secret Origins (1986) Issue #13

You're right, he has gotten almost married a few times

The first time was with Kori

The New Titans (1988) Issue #100

But then

The New Titans (1988) Issue #100

their pastor gets vaporised and body-controlled Raven feeds the soul of one of Trigon's children into Kori and she goes crazy but she recovers but it's a whole ordeal. In the end they don't get a chance to complete their marriage. They were spectacular together though. The only reason their wedding didn't go through is because the Batfam writers wanted Dick back so they took him from the Titans' writers and they needed a big dramatic scene to cut him off from the Titans. Another reason why Barbara was deaged and created as a love interest- to gatekeep him in the family.

He's also gotten married to Barbara before the retcon though.

Batman Family Issue #11

But here they were forced to by Maze and they went along with it and tricked him. At the end though, they just grab a bite to eat.

Ngl I actually would've supported this marriage. I really love this Barbara. Yes the age difference is a bit much but whatever, I still like them.

Dick and Barbara have gotten married in an alternate timeline.

Convergence: Nightwing/Oracle Issue #2

yeah, definitely didn't like this one.

Dick's also gotten fake married to a woman because Batman and Dick thought she was killing her husbands after marrying them so Dick married her to see if it was true.

Nightwing (1996) Annual #1

I liked her. She wasn't the killer and Dick did a fantastic job raising her son but even though she loved him, he didn't love her and they divorced amicably. I wish I could see more of her and her son though.

To be completely honest, my favorites for Dick are Kori and Bea.

Bea was a fantastic partner. She was understanding, loving, caring, and responsible. She was there when he was Ric Grayson and just loved him for who he was.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #53

If Kori's truly out of the picture, then Dick really should've settled down with her.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #57

She and Kori, they don't tell Dick what to do or who to be. They let him be free which is why I loved them an extraordinary amount. I'm a sucker for soft moments and Bea and Dick are couple goals.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #62

They give him the freedom he craves.

"What about mentally wise? (Of course, I do think Dick needs a long vacation because of all the trauma that he has to go through), but even if I like the idea of Dick being admired for his looks because he deserves it, but I do rmbr posts that he is uncomfy with this(sexualisation, Def only staying true to the person he loves (then there's the whole...Tarantula and more thing)"

I think Dick does need a break. His life has been a series of unfortunate events but despite all that, I think he loves it that way. Dick loves the thrill of adventure. It's the heart of who he is and why he became robin. The excitement he gets when fighting or doing crazy stunts - he loves all of it and that is his coping mechanism. I guess in order for him to thrive, Bruce needs to stop dumping all his trauma and stop expecting him to be there for him at all times of the day. Dick keeps getting dragged back to Gotham to take care of Bruce and his problems and he would go in a heartbeat but he's much happier wacking his own goons in Bludhaven. But since Bruce is so codependent on Dick, this pattern's not gonna stop anytime soon.

Truth be told I also like Dick being admired for his looks. I don't like him being called out by it though. First of all why would you comment "hot booty" to someone? It's degrading and humiliating even if you think it's a compliment. Some things are better left untold. But regardless of what people think, Dick will always be pretty and everyone in the DC universe knows this. Heroes, civilians, villains - they're all attracted to him on some level because he's so beautiful. And honestly? I'm all for it! Because that boy is the prettiest human in existence and he deserves that recognition. Just not vocally or physically.

The best thing is that Dick's beauty has no bearing on his mentality toward people. This man will choose one person and stick with them forever. He values intimacy and trust and love in his relationships which is why he's so attached to each one. This plays a massive role in his relationship with Kori. He would never cheat. Actually in all the future comics, after his spouse passes away or leaves, he never remarries. The only one exception was Batman Beyond (2016). The only one and he remarries Barbara after his wife passes away. Aside from that he remains a single parent. That's how dedicated he is.

"I've been seeing stuff where Robin name is actually Dick's mom calling Dick that. Then it's passed down as a mantle starting from Jason without Dick consenting. I tried to read at wiki, maybe I missed out but I can't find anything. Is it true? Does the other bats (except Bruce and Alfred?) know the actual meaning? Because as much as I love Dami, the whole bloodson, birthright to take the mantle of Robin beside Batman give me ugh feelings if it's true)"

Yup Dick's mother called Dick Robin.

Nightwing (2011) Issue #0

Robin (1993) Annual #4

Here's a couple but there are more instances of his mom calling him Robin.

Dick had no idea Bruce passed on the Robin costume. He finds out through the newspaper because Bruce is pissed at Dick. Like he's so mad that when he told Dick to leave, Dick actually left.

You know how there's a saying about not being able to take back words of anger? Bruce is feeling that heavily. He already had suspicions that Dick wanted to leave but before Dick could tell him, he fired him so he wouldn't have to hear those words. But Bruce is super mad that Dick left anyway. So what does he do? He makes the first boy he sees Robin.

And Jason finds out Dick was Robin when he confronts Bruce why Nightwing knows Bruce's identity. And that gets Bruce more mad because he's now feeling guilty which is when Dick comes to confront Bruce.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But instead of meeting anger for anger, Dick expresses his hurt. About how they were partners and then talks about his life after leaving Bruce.

And Bruce loves Dick. His best friend, son, brother, and partner for nearly 11 years. They raised each other and despite his anger, he smiles in pride and love.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

Look at his smile!! He's so proud of his son.

And that's when Dick stops pulling his punches.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

Bruce looks so wrecked. The guilt and sorrow is tantamount to his pain.

Then Dick asks Bruce why he choose someone new.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

So Bruce tells him. But Dick and Bruce's relationship go way deeper than just friends or family. They know each other. They revolve around each other so Dick calls him out.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

And out comes the truth

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But Dick has always been the bigger man and instead of letting Jason become some sort of spite move, he turns Robin into a legacy.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

He passes it down like it was meant to be passed down. Because let's be honest here. The Robin name and costume is Dick's. If he wanted to, he could've taken it back, Bruce be damned. And that was one of Jason's fears.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But despite Bruce's words to Jason

Batman (1940) Issue #416

He's not sure himself.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But it's only with Dick's approval that he becomes Robin which is what Bruce is thanking at the end.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

And this has been a sort of tradition.

Dick approved of Jason being Robin, he endorsed Tim, and he made Damian Robin. The only exception being Stephanie. This is why Dick feels a heavy sense of responsibility over the robin predicament. He created the tradition. He approved, supported, and mentored every robin that walked in his colors and name. That's why he feels the burden of it.

I don't think any of the other robins know the meaning behind the name. Maybe they do. But ironically, the one who wasn't robin is the one who knows the meaning of it.

Duke.

[sephirthoughts]

New Tseng Headcanons!!

Tseng being a smug villain about blowing up the Sector 7 support pillar and dooming thousands to death, but also holding on to Aerith's letters for Zack because he can't bear to throw them away, which would be tantamount to admitting Zack is really gone. He's complicated.

Tseng can see the Whispers but is gaslighting Rufus about it to amuse himself

this is because Tseng is all ice-cold badass on the surface (like it's a matter of legend that he may have ever smiled once) but he's an absolute menace and he's secretly clowning everyone

it was him who stuck gum on the bottom of all of Reno's shoes

it was him who replaced Elena's bullets with blanks that one time so she thought she was a terrible shot for a whole day

it was him who anonymously circulated those embarrassing photos of Rude when he had his MC Hammer phase as a teen (Rude was not embarrassed in the least and maintains that he looked cool in parachute pants, with a flat-top fade)

it was him who threw a red scarf in with Rufus' laundry when they were in Junon and it was the only suit he brought, so he had to do a press conference in bright pink

it was him who taught Darkstar to bark wildly whenever Scarlet says the word "boring" or Hojo says the word "fascinating"

Tseng actually laughs really easily and has a very childish sense of humor. a lot of the times that he's being all silent and stoic and mysterious, it's because he literally has to bite his tongue to stop himself laughing at some stupid shit, and he can't talk while he's doing that

no one but Tseng's mother has ever actually heard him laugh (like really laugh not the villain laugh he does when he's making a theatrical scene about some evil shit he's up to)

Tseng smokes when he's stressed. no one in the fucking world knows about it and they never will. there is never even a molecule of lingering scent on him ever. the lengths he has to go to in order to accomplish this are….excessive, since no one would give a shit if they knew he smoked. he just doesn't like anyone knowing anything about him

on that note, no one knows where he actually lives. he keeps multiple dummy addresses on file with Shinra to throw the HR people off. the other Turks can't even figure it out because he always spots them when they try to tail him. like from 200 yards that asshole is supernatural or something

he considered Zack his best friend because they had several missions together and exchanged multiple sentences outside of work, due to their both caring for Aerith. it destroyed him that he failed to save Zack and he became even more cold, detached, and emotionally unavailable because of it. no one ever noticed any of this because he's a goddamn pro

he still has the letters

he's a huge dorky ridiculous Vincent Valentine fangirl and the secret president of the (admittedly very small) fan club

the fan club is called the TV Club, as in Turk Valentine, because that makes it sound like boring nerd shit that no one would be curious about if it happened to come up somehow

most of the TV Club members are retired Shinra employees who had crushes on Vincent back in the day, before he disappeared. the conspiracy theories regarding him being alive rival those of the famous Elvis truthers, and some of them get weirdly close to the real facts (those ones ironically are the most laughed at and least believed theories)

there is some very well written but anonymous reader-insert Rookie Turk x Agent Valentine fanfic on their message board, but no one can prove who wrote it

Veld is also in the fan club

so is Sephiroth for reasons currently unknown

people say Tseng's Turk Valentine cosplay is absolutely stunning (mostly because he's also beautiful, black-haired, and Wutaian) but they have no idea how how very much painstakingly historically accurate detail is in it. he had the suit custom tailored from a vintage midnight-blue worsted wool fabric that he had to hunt down because it's not in production anymore

he actually checked Vincent's old service sidearm out of the Shinra armory on supposed official Turk business to go with the costume even though everyone thought it was a replica, because real weapons are not allowed at the convention center. he knew. that was enough.

he wore the costume for the office halloween party, one year, but everyone at work just thought he got a new suit. Reno almost had a brain aneurysm over even that much, though, so it's probably for the best that they didn't notice.

however, the fact that they didn't notice the very obvious blood-red contact lenses made him deeply worried for the future of the Turks. everyone was required to attend remedial espionage training the next week, much to their bitching and moaning

@soundcrusher tagging you cause you said that you wanted to see this silliness. you brought it upon yourself! 🖤

[can-i-ship-in-queering-peace]

i just had to say this.

no, but, i really want y’all to say it with your whole chest. why is it cool for straight people to reminisce about their childhood crush and dream of what could have been and that's romantic, and you can gain sympathy. but if you make it queer then we’re weird, creepers with some agenda? you just always want to demonize us and push us into the box of pedophiles, go ahead, just say it say it!

despite almost every straight presenting, straight agenda pusher, closest case out there, in and out of the church being usually the pedophiles of the world. it’s almost.. ironic.. it’s almost like... gaslighting or something. like you’re calling us what y’all are. 

(listen, most actual queer/gay people tend to actually never experience childhood and teen years normal development because we are so afraid of so much, and for good reason. so yeah, we also like to reminisce like y’all.. only we have even more layers there.. you can’t imagine the depth of all the things we are trying to work through in doing so. often times alone with no other help with these aspects.

so, “missed opportunities”, an understatement for us. i mean these ships for us are all the life we’ll never get to get back, time lost feels so heartbreakingly different in the closet. “years wasted”, again, an understatement. so, y’all think we’re silly for caring so much about ships when we can see ourselves in these ships but i cry thinking about how much i can relate to so much and it brings me back there. but instead of repressing all of those feelings and looping those memories i can never undo or change, i attempt to, through fanfic. i write and read fanfic, and love fanart because it’s my do over. not to mention, we never get actual representation that’s fleshed out the same way. i know plenty can relate so i just had to vent this since pride is here and i’ve been an absolute emotional wreck over so much and this has been weighing on me.)

[shinobicyrus]

Old Bad Movies I Enjoyed Recently (And So Can You!)

TUFF TURF (1985) I am torn about Tuff Turf, because this short movie is confused in tone, bouncing between badly written romance, teen shenanigans like crashing the buffet tables of country clubs, rad rock concerts, and...oh... intimate partner violence and attempted murder. James Spader is a bicycle vigilante rocker who gets on the bad side of his new school's local bully/gang leader. Things do not improve when Spader also decides that he simply must charm said gang leader's girlfriend. What tension!

Honestly, the only reason this movie sticks with me is the presence of a young Robert Downey Jr, who is, I apologize to say, fucking hot. He plays the drums at a rock concert shirtless using handcuffs as belts for his leather pants. Look it up. Rather than the main romance, the more interesting chemistry is the friendship of RDJ's and Spader's characters (insert Ultron fanfic joke here), which borders on the intensely homoerotic. Really, Tuff Turf makes me yearn for a more interesting film that would have removed the "fighting over a girl" element of the story and just had RDJ and Spader as rad rocker/vigilante boyfriends partners.

IRON EAGLE (1986) This movie about fighter jets actually predates Top Gun by a few months - only instead of Tom Cruise and very heterosexual volleyball matches it's about a group of military brats living on a US Military base. The main character's dad is a pilot who was shot down over a non-specific (but definitely evil) Middle Eastern country, but since the mean adults don't want to do anything, it's up to the kids to steal an F-16 fighter jet and rescue him! This film is only the Purest 80s Reagan Americana where you get to see classic Teen Movie shenanigans evolve into "and then the main character committed war crimes."

A ridiculous, awful film. Did this movie change my life? Possibly.

AMERICA 3000 (1986) A strange, weird, absurd film set in the post apocalypse, where nuclear war has set humans back to the stone age and Amazon women rule over (mostly) intellectually inferior men. My friends and I couldn't decide whether the slang they invented and used copiously in this film was annoying or not. Hilariously, it being in the 80s, the dumbest thing about this whole film is that despite the tyrannical Amazons hating men and only reluctantly using them for breeding, this film also stubbornly refuses to acknowledge even a hint of the existence of homosexuality. Which is probably a blessing, to be honest.

I found it tolerably bizarre enough to watch. Once. Your results may vary.

HACKERS (1995) We now jump into the 90s, and have you heard of these new-fangled things called computers? Standing out as one of Angelie Jolie's earliest movies and a real breakout role for her (it's also where she meets her future ex-husband, Johnny Lee Miller - who most people on this site will recognize as Sherlock Holmes in Elementary). The movie is essentially about a group of high-school hackers with ridiculous handles who run afoul of a corporate conspiracy, are framed, and must dodge the Secret Service while trying to clear their names. But the plot doesn't really matter all that much. What makes this movie shine is the dialogue, the characters, the costumes, and the✨ vibes ✨. This movie is a cult classic for a reason, and the queer coding of all the hackers is undeniable to a modern audience.

It's not a good movie, but its imperfections are what make it so strange, hilarious, and unique. I felt the oddest sense of nostalgia watching this movie, despite the fact that the bizarre pseudo-futuristic world it depicts never actually existed. It made such an impression that I instantly acquired a physical copy of Hackers after my first viewing of it. Hack the Planet!

Space Truckers (1996) To round us off we have Dennis Hopper starring in this film with surprisingly good production values (for the time) failing utterly at everything it attempts to do. Ostensibly about down-to-earth (ha) blue collar space truckers just trying to make an honest living hauling goods across a solar system being increasingly corporatized and hostile to independent workers.

Throw in an evil corporation, space pirates, and a plot to overthrow earth's government with night-unstoppable killer robots, and you have all the elements for what could be a decent movie, but none of them really mesh and are soured by some pretty uncomfortable "romance" elements that have not aged well.

It's a movie that fails in so many ways, but it is at least interesting in its attempt. The people who made Space Truckers took a risk, and in this age of constant sequels and reboots even a failure like this feels...refreshing.

[tacetferrum]

//Yeah that’s not the Talon I write I’m sorry. 

On top of forcing outdated lore (if you like Talon being an adoptive sibling that’s entirely fine. I just can’t agree with it for reasons I’ve already stated), making him equated to an emotionally unstable teen (ironically his short story implies in this canon he was actually more stable AS a teenager) now they’re forcing this spiteful/jealous sibling act on him. 

On top of making him look down right, in Talon’s own words, pathetic. 

I never thought they’d actually make ME look at Talon with genuine contempt before. 

He was placed on such a high regard for Du Couteau but he STILL thinks he has something to prove? Shouldn’t he be more concerned with fulfilling Marcus’s wishes?? Over some fucking heirlooms on top of that? 

I genuinely don’t think Scott respects Talon as a character. No offense to him, but I’m 90% sure he read cliff notes on Talon and just made some stuff up based on outdated information and probably didn’t even read his short story.

He’s obviously a good writer who can intelligently write a plot, but to me he’s botched Talon. 

The story isn’t bad, I was even chill with the first two episodes Talon was in, but I can’t abide by this... fanfic afterthought tier version of him after this chapter.

If they don’t redeem him in any meaningful way with this comic that results in him actually evolving or developing to what we know him as, I can’t consider this pitiful person Talon. Yes, it is me being biased. Most of our interpretations of him are valid from how damn barren his story was. I think its only fair to disregard what they deliver us. 

And to those Talon’s who /do/ enjoy this version? Nothing against you at all. So don’t think just because I don’t like this one that I have ANY issue with you. Ignore me being bitter and please stay happy with what content you’re getting. 

[princefado]

mentor/student for the problematic ask game

OF COURSE

1. Any of my ships that fit it

OBVIOUSLY Manfred/Miles, the ideal

does Krispollo or Odonaru count?? lol

Gantlana is a bit of this in the past

Zenigata/Yata also

i'd say Alexander/Daniel has this element as well 😏

a little bit of Obi Wan/Anakin. perhaps. but i've never read any fanfic/sought out art for it. but it intrigues me.

never sought out fanfic/art for it but Vlad Masters/Danny Phantom intrigues me

Slade/Robin in Teen Titans 2003 WOOPS

2. General Opinion

i'm actually SUPER picky about mentor/student. i really really like genuinely healthy mentor/student relationships, so there has to be something dark already there for me to latch onto to ship it with a romantic or sexual edge. so generally it's a no; but when it HITS it HITS.

i mainly really really like villainous mentors/their conflicted charges.

3. Any ships that aren’t canon it But I’d read w/ the trope

i'm a fucking broken record but i love fork's roleswap AU fic where gumshoe is the prosecutor and edgeworth is the detective and it's got big mentor/student vibes (without being dark, ironically) that make me squee

[l-in-the-light]

I usually don't take part in discussions like this, but damn, I'm old, I have been in a fandom since I bought my very first manga&anime magazines all the way back in elementary school in the 90s. You know how old I was when I first found out about BL? Somewhere between 12 or 13 years old. That's also when I read my very first BL comics (it was Zetsuai and Tokyo Babylon, if you're curious). Zetsuai was not meant for kids my age, obviously. It portrayed some smutty scenes and some really abusive stuff as well. And yet I enjoyed reading it a lot, just like any other comics back then. The very first BL fic I ever wrote was when I was 13 or 14. In my native language there was only one or two online sites available back then (it was the 90s okay), on which we could share BL fanfiction. No one cared how old you were and no one even asked you before you could publish or read anything.

And you know what's the funniest thing about that? I don't believe I grew up to be a degenerate and I don't think it exposed me to abuse just because I was a minor reading explicit stuff and portrayals of unhealthy relationships. On the contrary, thanks to reading all that stuff I actually gained a better understanding of what an abusive and exploiting relationship even was in the first place. That's because many fanfic writers do their job extremely well, the psychology of the characters is so rich, the way the story and emotions are written is so captivating that it stays in your head, makes you ask questions you normally wouldn't ask, allows you to revisit your own fantasies and confront them with what you read, without even having to experience the bad stuff yourself. I'm not saying every piece of fanfiction does that, but many, many do.

And you all know what's the most ironic? That wasn't the first time I run across an explicit abusive sexual relationship in fiction. That one's on some finnish harlequin sagas, easily available back then in bookstores and libraries. And it romanticized abuse in much worse ways than any fanfiction ever could, because of the way it portrayed it as something normal, natural, presenting it as a typical woman experience. If anything, I wished my first encounter with explicit fiction wasn't that, but fanfiction instead. It's much more sensible, less culturally involved (thanks to which it doesn't mess with your head in the same way), and is infinitely more fun to read and explore. And so creative!

If you really care about kids and young teens reading stuff that isn't meant for them, you should take care first of fiction that is readily available outside the internet. That fiction is actually very harmful in the way it depicts sex and women, and sells it as something "normal". Little girls reading those books expect their first sexual encounters to hurt, they expect to bleed, they expect that only their male partner's pleasure matters, they learn that once they start doing sexual stuff they can't stop, because that's how sex is consistently depicted there. A lie said enough number of times finally starts to sound like The One And Only Truth.

People opening AO3 or any other fanfiction sites, no matter if they're minors or not, do not approach it with a set of mind of "I will learn about actual sex and relationships from this", but they do with books that portray romance and sex. And if I was to blame anything for that, it would be school education. In my country school celebrates literature to the point we do analysis on how the story portrays reality and history, but never on what it portrays unrealistically. As the result kids (and also later on many adults those kids grew up into!) expect books to be more realistic thanks to that. They're not used to creative fiction depicting fake worlds, unrealistic events and fantasies. Why? Because school doesn't teach them that books that are just entertaining are also meaningful and valuable.

But back to fanfiction sites. When minors venture there they know what they're searching for and it's for the forbidden fruit, entertainment and the thrill. A safe thrill that doesn't actually put them into sexual situations by themselves without having any idea what's happening. Also where are minors supposed to learn stuff like that from? Sex ed at schools? We never had one back in my days and it's still widely unavailable in my country. Sites like Scarleteeen? Not even available in my own native language. Fanfiction though? It's readily available and though it's job isn't to educate, it actually allows people to explore sex-related stuff in a safe way, without having to do the deed themselves to find out.

But sure, just ban minors from access to anything regarding sex and see if the world becomes a better place when they won't have any idea about any of this before they hit the magical age of 18. I'm sure this will limit abusive experiences in their lives, I'm sure those minors won't do something stupid with someone much older than them just because they have the answers. Limit their freedom more, hide the forbidden fruits even better, and leave them only with Scarleteen that is available only in english. See what happens. And then take the blame, because that's also part of taking reponsibility when you make choices for someone else :)

Yes yes, morality is important, shame on me for pushing my own illegal experience like I'm a good rolemodel. I'm definitely not. But I'm sure of one thing: minors always will be curious and they will pursue the topic of sex till they get the satisfying answers they're searching for. I know, because I still remember how it was to be that minor. All my (also minor) friends back then were exactly the same. And I bet minors are still this way even today. They will seek to satisfy their curiousity through any means they can, which will be usually online. They will watch porn, they will write their own explicit fanfiction, they will read those fucking harlequins. You can't stop them. What you can do instead is to make sure they have alternative, safe ways of getting their answers. Fanfiction out of all the other options is really the safest, lesser evil type of stuff. Please, if you want to fight the evil, start from the True Bad Guys. Anyone seeking fanfiction isn't so naive to not know it will be full of bullshit, because fanfiction holds no authority: it's literally some random people's sexual fantasies shared with the world, often written with more passion than actual skill; unlike books and porn which bring the illussion of realism with them. That's your bad guys.

Also, just to be spiteful clear: I do not regret reading and writing explict fanfiction when I was a minor and even if I could turn back time, I would still do exactly the same. I do regret reading the finnish harlequins though and I wish I never did. In Phoenix Wright fashion I will finish this post with: TAKE THAT!

How about this: no *explicit* material involving minors under 15 on AO3. That seems reasonable. If you admit that teens get around age restrictions AND that abusers can groom with them, then something has to change. That involves placing a fair chunk of stories under more stringent lockdown. Yeah AO3 can't go, and you fandom vets are always harping on about how censorship sank previous spaces, but goddamn is there no way to protect the the more vulnerable fans without raising your hackles?

1. How do you define explicit? Does this mean no depictions of child abuse, even for the purpose of telling a story about how wrong it is and showing a victim’s recovery? Can younger teens have realistic sexual encounters in stories so long as nothing is shown on page, or is it wrong to imply explicit goings-on even if they’re not depicted? Where, exactly, do we draw the line between heavy petting and sex? Can a character have a wet dream or masturbate? Can a character think about sex in detail, even if they’re not depicted having it? I’m not trying to be difficult: I’m just trying to make it clear that what you’re proposing, even when you phrase it simply, is inherently difficult to implement. Stories would have to be vetted and actively moderated, a massive undertaking that AO3 isn’t equipped to manage, and any such process would still ultimately hinge on individual judgement, which means you’d still have people dissatisfied with the outcome.  

2. Teenagers who choose to ignore age-ratings and warnings for the material they consume are responsible for their own experience beyond that point: it is not the job of authors or the website to say, “Okay, we know this content is explicitly meant for adults, but let’s make it less adulty just in case a teenager gets in here.” You can’t protect people from their own bad judgement and its consequences without making their lack of responsibility someone else’s responsibility, which is decidedly unfair. 

3. Abusers groom victims with a wide range of material and arguments, and have done so long before the existence of AO3. Whenever this happens, we blame the abuser, not whatever story they used to justify themselves. This is also why, when murderers or other criminals take their inspiration from crime fiction novels or psychologically darker works, as has happened on multiple occasions, we blame the criminals, not their taste in fiction. Locking down on what can be written about child abuse won’t get rid of paedophiles, but it will make things more difficult for victims who use fanfic as catharsis.

Here’s the thing: tagging works on AO3 is how we protect vulnerable fans, by giving them tools to navigate away from distressing themes or content. Taking something away from one person so its mere existence doesn’t upset someone who was never going to read it anyway isn’t a protective act, but a judgemental and dismissive one. To use an analogy, there are plenty of people in the world with deathly nut allergies, but that doesn’t mean we ban an entire food group: it means we label things that have nuts in them, even trace amounts, so that nobody gets hurt. Do accidents still happen? Yes! Are some people assholes about food allergies and dietary restrictions? Yes! But does that mean the solution is to ban nuts entirely? No! And it’s the same with fanfic.    

[ur-typical-nerd]

What am I doing-

So, @sparkerinparadise has this really cool idea called sexyman descendants, and I instantly fell in love with the concept (I actually have kind of a similar idea, only it’s with exclusively cartoon and video game characters. I have no idea how I’ll get it off the ground, especially since the main character is a SpongeBob descendent lol-)

However, I am…not the best artist. Nor am I the best at making/describing Monster High-styled outfits. However, I am a good writer, so I’ll be writing descriptions for my seven (you read that right) OCs for sexyman descendants. I…might be also write some fanfic for this. BTW, these guys’ parents are all pulled from the sexyman Wikipedia (something I’d never thought I’d have to look up…)

LUCILLE DEVIL/MORNINGSTAR

Lucille has pale, almost grayish skin, pitch black, fluffy hair, her dad’s eyes and horns, fangs, and sharp claws that are usually painted black. I…have no idea what her outfit is; all I know is she has a black faux fur jacket and a pitchfork necklace. She’s on the shorter and lankier side, something the compensates for with heels.

-Daughter of the Devil from Cuphead

-Pansexual

-Rules the cheerleading squad with an iron fist

-Also in both the drama club. Probably the one who takes the lead from @sporesgalaxy’s Spamton Jr. 

-Inherited her dad’s temper and crybaby tendencies

-Has caused multiple fire drills due to her fire powers flaring up when she’s angry

-Will occasionally try to con her classmates out of their souls

-Fairly protective of her step-sister, who is Dice’s daughter

-Her pitchfork necklace can turn into a full-sized pitchfork by pulling the charm off the chain

-Lords her dad’s status and power over anyone who dares to threaten her

-Haaates @sparkerinparadise’s Dee Cipher and Roman (sees her as competition and beating her sister out for class president, respectively). Thinks Too-Lette is cool though.

-Arrives to school in a pillar of hellfire every day for the ✨aesthetic✨

-Lucille: I’d sell all of you to my dad for a corn chip-

-Voiced by Aimie Atkinson (aka Katherine Howard from Six)

IVORY DICE

Ivory is a average-sized, slightly curvy teen with dark skin, white hair with a purple streak in cube-shaped  puff pigtails, green eyes, and purple freckles. She wears a version of her dad’s shirt and jacket with the sleeves rolled up, a purple skirt with rows of all four card suites in pink and black, purple chunky high heels with dice for the heel, pink poker chip earrings, white gloves, and a black choker with a silver crown charm. She also wears purple lipstick and eyeshadow

-Daughter of King Dice

-Lesbian

-Assistant leader of the cheerleaders and member of the debate team

-Tried to start a gambling club in school, got shut down almost immediately

-Do not play any sort of card game/game of chance with her. You WILL lose.

-If you make her sister cry, Ivory will kick your butt while simultaneously comforting Lucille

-Favorite class is music

-Occasionally brings her dad’s card minions to school with her

-Regularly blackmails/bribes others into doing things for her

-Kinda unhinged

-Can remove her head like her dad can. It’s…way more disturbing than when her dad does it.

-Always has a deck of cards with her

-Voiced by Ashley Park (aka Gretchen Wieners from the Mean Girls musical)

CALLIE THE COMPUTER

Callie is a small, lanky girl with pale, metallic skin, white hair in a messy bob, and dark eyes framed by square glasses. She wears a red and blue argyle sweater vest over a white t shirt, a blue skirt with a silver stripe at the bottom, knee socks with a yellow stripe on top, clunky heels that look like a computer mouse, and a circuit board hair clip.

-Daughter of Colin the Computer

-Greysexual 

-Autistic

-Head of the robotics/coding club

-Loves talking about computers!!!!

-Will throw you through a wall while screaming if you touch her 

-Her attempts at socializing often come off as kinda creepy. Nobody knows if it’s intentional or not

-Can bring people into the digital world, though she’s banned from doing it on campus after Lucille’s head exploded into glitter upon exiting (she was fine after a day or so)

-Exempt from swimming due to the risk of her shorting out

-Regularly asks intrusive questions about others 

-Nobody knows if she’s an AI in a robot body or a cyborg. I mean, she plugs herself into a wall socket for lunch, but Ivory swears she saw some sort of brain-like organ in the panel on the back of her head last week…

-Voiced by Shelby Rabara

DIANA DASTARDLY

Diane is a tall, bulky girl with pale skin, long, dark hair in a braid, and blue eyes. I don’t have any outfit ideas for her, but I do know she has a sort-of steampunk-ish style, a love for the color purple, and high heels with a wheel for the heel (that can act as heelies because why not-)

-Daughter of Dick Dastardly

-Bisexual, with a preference for men

-Part of the robotics/coding team 

-Though highly intelligent, she occasionally ends up in detention because she cheated on a quiz or something minor 

-Grumpy and dramatic

-Favorite class is either engineering or woodshop

-The next person who asks her if she’ll join a sports team is going to get punched in her dad’s namesake-

-Has an emotional support/service dog named Molly she brings to school with her. She doesn’t tell anyone why she has an emotional support/service dog; Callie asked once and got thrown into a garbage can.

-(It’s for health conditions she has due to her father going to the Underworld to save Muttley before she was born and depression)

-Occasionally wishes she was more feminine-looking

-Has a motorcycle she drives to school pretty much every day

-Can be found fixing cars and inventing outside of school

-Voiced by Genesis Lynea (aka Anna of Cleaves from Six)

ERIS CHAOS-SHY

Eris is a tall, lanky teen with wild pale pink, almost white hair, tan skin, her dad’s mismatched horns, and heterochromia: one yellow and red eye and one green eye, both with different-sized pupils. I don’t have a set idea for her outfit, but I do know that the outfit doesn’t even seem to match itself, she has a different tie every week, and it’s made up of both her dad’s and mom’s color palette. She also paints each of her nails a different color and changes them frequently.

-Genderfluid (any pronouns) Polysexual (not attracted to people who identify as male)

-Daughter of Discord and Fluttershy

-Enjoys music and psychology classes

-On the debate team

-His chaotic powers have an entire section in the school rule book dedicated to them

-Completely aware that they’re all fictional, but they’re strongly encouraged not to tell anybody

-Chaotic neutral, seems to pull a different prank on the student body every other week

-Has a feud going on with both Lucille and Dee

-Attracts animals with her singing; however, they are not the cute little woodland creatures her mom attracts

-One time classes had to be canceled because a goose flew through the window while she was in music 

-Has slight stage fright. Can’t handle large crowds (aka auditorium/stadium full of people) watching him sing, but can handle a classroom full of people watching

-Severe claustrophobia/fear of being trapped

-Encourages people to make up new pronouns to refer to them as

-Voiced by Christina Modestou (aka Anne Boleyn from Six)

WALLYWINK (because we need more male rep, dang it!)

Wallywink is an average sized, dark skinned teen with curly pink hair and matching fur on his upper arms and legs. He wears a pink, fluffy sweater, jeans, and dark pink cowboy boots, under which he has hooves.

-Son of Wammawink (yes, I’m just as surprised as you are)

-Gay

-Favorite classes are Home Ec and Music

-Total Mom friend

-Regularly helps out in the cafeteria

-More satyr-like than his mom

-Has the same kind of magic Wammawink does, but mostly sticks to bubbles

-If two people start fighting in the hallway, Wallywink will put them in bubbles he calls “time-out bubbles”  until they calm down and are able to apologize to each other

-Loves his mom, but he wishes she was less overprotective

-Has totally brought his mom’s mertaur magazines to school (both for himself and because others dared/blackmailed him to)

-Voiced by Jeremy Jordan

BETTY KOOPA

Betty is a tall, bulky girl with tan skin, red hair in a messy ponytail, sharp fangs and claws, horns, and dark eyes. She wears a slightly torn white tank top with pale yellow stripes, a black biker jacket with spiky shoulders and sleeves and a red flame design on the back, torn green pants, black combat boots, spiky bracelets with a matching choker, and a green spiky shell purse.

-Daughter of Bowser Koopa (yes, I’m giving him another kid. Why not?)

-Lesbian Transgirl

-On literally ALL of the sport teams. Basketball, soccer, golf: you name it, she’s a member

-Loves all her siblings and would kill/die for them (BTW, most of the Koopalings probably attend school with her)

-Very loud and in-your-face

-Total delinquent 

-Attracted to princess-like/feminine girls like her dad

-Has no clue how to flirt, so she just brags about herself very loudly, acts intimidating, and throws random gifts at people and hopes it works

-(It hasn’t yet, but she’s trying okay-)

-If you imply her personality/appearance makes her “less of a girl” you WILL be lit on fire with extreme prejudice

-Did I mention she can breathe fire? Because she can.

-Cleans up quite nicely when there’s a formal event

-Voiced by Kimberly Brooks (aka Jasper from Steven Universe)

[rcksmith]

Sun — Kaz Brekker

Resume: Feelings are destabilizing things.

A/N: This story is not set in the books of Six Crows, I also changed the age of the characters to twenty-something because the idea of ​​writing something about a child makes me uncomfortable. All my stories, of any characters, are with them being of up age. Just like many fanfics out there in the teen series.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader.

Warnings: Mention of fight, swearing, mention of post-traumatic stress, angst, mention of kiss, mention of desire, desire, mention of death, but so fucking fluff.

Word count: 3k.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — —

There were few things in life that he was absolutely sure of. Things that were immutable, solid, unshakable. That even the strongest of winds would not be able to shake the structure. A life built on the basis of an equation of chaos, suffering, death and despair generated a result where it was necessary to be sure of something. And one of those certainties was the ability of himself, of his instincts, of his intelligence, the notion that he himself was a person capable of resolving any type of situation with iron fists. The second was the certainty of the loyalty of his crows, of the two people who, he knew, would never turn their backs on him.

And the third... the third was that when Kaz Brekker first laid eyes on you, he was sure that you would divide his life between a before and an after.

It was a lepid, ferocious feeling that swept the body of The Bastard of the Barrel from the top of his head to the tip of his polished boots. The heat immediately gave way to a cold sweat, a shiver as if receiving a midnight sigh at the back of the neck. There was a quick sensation of burning in the heat of an icy fire, but his composure did not flinch a single millimeter. He had learned to keep it in all situations, trained with steel fists.

Kaz looked at you deeply, from the top of your hair to the tip of your feet, trying to find answers as to why you had triggered such disturbing sensations with a simple and ridiculous exchange of looks. But he found no answers. He found neither after a day, nor after a week, damn it, he did not find nor after a month!

You had joined the infamous trio because they needed a fighting expert, someone who could defeat a good number of men on her own without needing backup, which would make their bigger and more complex robberies much easier. And when they found you, a girl who had been the subject for a experiment to create super soldiers, your ability to fight, physical endurance, and your sense of loyalty, made you perfect for the job.

But none of that explained why, whenever the stormy blue eyes met yours, he felt like he was ricochet by living eels. It was exasperating, frustrating on so many levels that it was difficult to put into words. Kaz could not expose this misfortune to his two closest people, first because his pride in admitting a disturbance in his subtly balanced world was too great, and second that... even if he considered said that, he would not know how to name those feelings for express what he were feeling.

How would Jesper and Inej understand something that even he did not understand?

Kaz Brekker had a firm and calm demeanor, an implacably logical mind and a way of narrowing his eyes that ensured that his orders were carried out with great efficiency, all according to the moment he wished. Then, just as he did to get rid of any disturbance, he buried those sensations so deeply until, like his overwhelming pains and traumas, they stopped tormenting him.

He thought that, like his flawless and cunning plans, it would have the same effect. That his nerves could get back to normal and he wouldn't have to deal with the feeling that feel hiself whit cold and hot at the same time whenever he laid eyes on you.

But, if it was true that the practice makes perfect, this rule has not been applied in this situation.

The deeper he buried those beginnings of thats sensations, more of them began to flourish, roaring harder, as a constant reminder that he was not that rock of stoicity and absence of feelings that he liked to think he was. It seemed that, just as light existed to exorcise the darkness, you existed to show that he still had a beating heart. Hot blood still coursing through the veins.

It has not helped anything in his cause that, over time, Inej and Jesper have become attache to you. Jesper even more. But if Kaz put aside his frustration and irritation for a second, he would know that he couldn't to blame them. In fact, there was no way to blame every person who approached you, delighted.

Jesper once described you as "the soul of the party", and Inej said that you had fire in your soul. Kaz would not have been able to think of better definitions to put into words what you were. There was thing about the way you laughed, the way you talked, the way your tilting your head and your so easy smile. There was a thing about you. That transformed you into the solar system and people orbited in your gravity like planets.

You had a way with people, Kaz really thought it was a gift, a talent. You were always laughing, smiling, playing with people and making them so comfortable in your presence that, once, Kaz saw a trader, who are in a the middle of a refused to close a contract with Kaz, just melt and give up because of the smile you gave to him.

Nothing from you has been forced, malicious, shrewd or cunning. You really smiled, you really laughed, as if you were...happy. Purely happy. And, in a second of insanity, Kaz wondered if that happiness was possible. If it was possible for him to feel something like this.

But, just as Brekker took his soul close from you as much as he could to avoid any emotion, Jesper did the exact opposite. Very quickly, just like Kaz and Inej are, the two of you became a pair of inseparable friends. Were always together.

Perhaps it was because you two were overwhelmingly alike: Always in the eye of danger, addicted to adrenaline, purely outgoing and liked a good fun. Or maybe it was because, like everyone around you, Jesper felt drawn closer to your warm, joyful and comforting aura.

But whatever it was, the timbre of your laughter followed by Jesper's became a sound as natural as the whistling of the wind. And it didn't take long for you two to become partners in thefts and plans.

However, it didn't take long too for the reactions Kaz had about the influence of your presence to become...louder.

If Kaz Brekker closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment, he could still remember and feel that night perfectly as if it were yesterday:

The plan was succinct: They would have to go through guards, high walls and locks to enter a merchant's residence, open the safe, pick up the jewels and leave. Twenty minutes was the time limit to complete that sequence.

Everyone was assigned to one thing: Kaz would turn off a fabricated security system from a Grisha, Inej would sneak into the shadows to the safe and pick up the jewels, and Jesper and you would be responsible for dealing with the various guards. Everyone would have to meet in the corridor that led to the back exit.

Kaz did not think that that so ridiculous and simple plan it could go wrong. Or that someone could make a slip. To him, it seemed as easy as sneaking into a yacht boat. However, there he was, next to Inej who carried the jewelery bag in her hand, both of them standing in that dimly lit corridor, waiting for you and Jesper to appear.

"It's been three minutes!" Inej pointed, as if Kaz didn't already know that.

Her intonation was concerned, apprehensive, with a certain fear. Kaz thought about saying something, but as soon as his mouth opened to say anything, he heard...

Steps. Hurried steps of two people. No, actually, the two people were running.

Suddenly, you and Jesper burst into the corridor, running as if their lives depended on it. Inej and Kaz would have been worried if it weren't for the bastard and peraltas smiles that stretched across faces of you two, stretching their cheeks.

Then Kaz noticed the reason for the delay. You two carried a giant picture under your left arms. Jesper carried the front end and you the back end, like two children who made a mischief and was running from their mother. True accomplices.

Kaz's jaw opened, his eyes widened slightly and roamed the frame with agitated iris, while Inej was totally baffled.

"C'mon, C'mon!" You exclaimed with laughter in your voice, Jesper and you never stopped running.

As soon all left and took shelter in the safety and peace of the Crow Club closed in that night, Jesper and you fell on the couch, laughing and panting.

"What was that?!” But Kaz was exasperated "Do you both know how much risked the plan?!"

"It was only three minutes, Boss." Jesper defended himself.

"It..." That's when Kaz looked at the painting responsible for all the commotion and fuss.

It was a painting, a landscape by Ravka. The fold. In oil on parchment. A DeKappel. That was worth at least ten thousand Kruges.

“You commented that you needed a new painting for your office.” Your voice took Kaz out of the admiration on the painting, and Jesper and Inej looked at you as if they had discovered that now too.

Jesper and Inej thought it was just for the money...

Kaz looked up into your eyes, and the cold, warm shiver spreading across his chest and snaking to his bones. As it always did the moment yours eyes meeting.

He remembered commenting in passing, in a very vague and obtuse way, that he wanted a new painting in the office. Until that moment, Brekker didn't think you paying attention to what he had to say. Not when it wasn't about a job or plan.

But there you were, proving that you had heard. And that you cared.

His breath caught for a second, the icy chill turned to something warmer, like the first sparks of fire in a fireplace. The first flames that precede the fire.

After that, Kaz began to pay more attention, unconsciously, to what you said. And, consequently, he started paying more attention to you. It had been gradual, sneaky as a snake, imperceptible so he wouldn't be able to root it out. As if the universe, destiny or divines, introduced, grain by grain, a small summer in a landscape frozen by winter.

It all started with your comment about liking it sweeter than salty, that dry wine left you with a headache and that you preferred rum. He evolved to notice how your tone of voice got sweeter when you talked to children or animals, and more serious when it came to the safety of the three crows. And suddenly, as if Kaz already knew this as he knew the sky was blue, he knew how to say how your eyes sparkled when you felt the warmth of the sun on your skin.

In that second, looking at you from the other side of the agitated club that turned into a celebration with dance and music, the world became suspended for a moment. The music became just an echoing, blurry noise, the images turned to slow motion and the air seemed to change in pitch. You, who laughed and speen round in Jesper's arms amid so many people who did the same thing, were the only one who starred as the main attraction.

In that minute, when the breath was slow and lyrical, and the air had a beauty tone, Kaz's eyes caught the exact moment when a beam of sunlight hit your face, shining on your skin as if you were one pirate tropical treasure. In a burst, a second of insanity, like a violin string that burst at the apice of the song, he felt that there was nothing else in the world worth seeing that was not you.

It was a scary, terrifying discovery. Something that made him freeze from head to toe, and all the speed in the world came back so fast that Kaz felt dizzy. He pressed his covered hand to the crow's beak of his cane, as if he needed a reminder of reality. Something that would wake him up from those hellish sensations.

- -

The months passed after that fateful afternoon. Kaz avoided staying close to you any longer than necessary and would strongly and vigorously scold every change of tone within himself whenever he saw you.

He didn't know what those sensations meant, but he also didn't want to find out. He liked challenges and responsibilities, but being around you was proving to be more than he could take. Your presence ignited him in a cold and warm fire, promising a future full of unfulfilled infinite wills. From pain, impotence and doomed to failure. Any feeling for you would be more of a punishment than anything else. The only solution was to get it out of your head.

Of course, he had been trying to do just that since he met you.

But again, the universe did not seem to want to give up from he. Not so easily.

Kaz had to take you along to make a deal with a merchant who was more impassable than a rock. Kaz had tried to negotiate with him before (since he couldn't take the strength or rob what he wanted) and all his efforts were in vain. So, he appealed for the last weapon. The person who always had a natural gift whit other people and always had a real smile that made anybody feel like... as if happiness really existed.

You.

"I'm glad it's hot" You commented, while walking next to Kaz "I don’t like the cold."

How did he know that you would say just that? That was so you. Warm, sweet and cozy things were the embodiment of what you were. It was logical that you preferred the heat. So different from him that, instead of you, enjoyed the cold. Liked the rains and storms, relaxed with the moonlight and felt less tense with the midnight winter breeze.

Kaz understood your personality as he understood the very lines of his hands. You were wild, bordering on reckless, you acted before thinking and you always loved anything that aroused adrenaline. You ran like no one else, jumped from one horse's cell to another, decided to catch the largest number of targets just because you wanted the thrill of fighting five against one. Anything calm, serene and peaceful stirred your restless personality. And Kaz knew exactly your level of restlessness from the way your leg was constantly jumping when you had to sit still for more than a few minutes.

You were a free spirit, forged in the heart of the sun and in the heat of summer. While he was limited by his own body and built in the heart of winter and frozen by the cold of the sea. Anything between you was doomed to fail even before you two met. Kaz Brekker knew this very well.

“He is late.” You grunted, your leg was already starting to jumping when you two spent a measly ten minutes waiting for the man.

You looked back and seemed to find it interesting, because Kaz saw your eyes shine.

"Let's go there?" You pointed, and Kaz had to turn around to see that you were referring to a coffee shop.

Crowded with sweets in the window for a change. Why was he not surprised?

“No.” He turned forward again, both hands on the cane.

"So I go over there and come back quickly."

“Y/n" he just said in a warning tone, giving you a scolding look.

You mumbled something he didn't identify, turned around again and did your best to be quiet. Five minutes passed before that merchant arrived, and Kaz can perfectly follow the change in his posture, change in the man eyes when you greeted him with that summer voice and sunny smile.

It was so vibrant, so vivid that, for a second, Kaz found himself slightly swayed by all the brilliance you emanated. Pulled towards your like an animal needing the warmth of the sun.

It didn't take much for the man to sign and agree with everything Kaz said and imposed. In fact, he suspected that if he had asked him to give him his bank password, the man would have been happy to do so.

"Can we go in the coffee shop now?” You commented as soon as the man left, still turning around to look at you as much as possible.

Kaz restrained the glaring urge to roll his eyes, but he had just landed a very lucrative business just and exclusively because you agreed to help. Even though you didn't gain anything from it. So, if he had to go with you to a goddamn coffee shop so he wouldn't feel like a petty profiteer, he would go to the goddamn coffee shop.

Kaz just walked towards the place, and the wide, summery smile you gave may have he missed a few heartbeats.

Stop it!

Once inside the damn store, you scanned the menu that hung on the wall.

“I never took this one.” You commented, pointing to what appeared to be a very sweet mix of drink. Something that involved ice cream and chocolate with something else.

It was not the kind of comment that had an answer, and Kaz was still engaged in the mission to stay away from you. But he thought that statement was just the reason why you wouldn't order that drink. But, just as you always threw any worldview Kaz had in the latrine, you asked for just that. His eyes were bloodshot with astonishment.

“Why are you going to order something you don't know if you like it?” He asked as soon as you got the drink and paid for it.

"How am I supposed to know if something is good if I never try it?” You said casually, both of you going out of the store. “Wanna try out?”

You held out for he the plastic cup that was covered by a lid that had a hole in the middle, where a fat, transparent straw came out. Kaz looked at you as if you had created a second head.

“Come on, you'll never know if you like it if you don't taste it.” The two of you stopped, you still holding the glass gently towards his mouth.

“No.” Kaz shook his head.

“Come ooon.” You insisted, a petulant and amusing smile plastered on your face.

"No."

You shook the glass, holding it out once more. This time, Kaz gave you a slightly annoyed look.

"You're not going to stop insisting until I take this thing, are you?"

You laughed, with a triumphant and friendly smile “I'm glad you know me so well”

Kaz rolled his eyes, snatching the glass from your hand and bringing the hellish straw to his mouth. Hell, he felt so stupid pulling that stupid drink through that straw. As soon as the sweet liquid invaded his tongue, an explosion of flavors flooded his palate, causing him to remain unresponsive for a moment.

"You liked it!" But just as he unveiled all of your lookes, you knew how to unveil all of his.

Kaz handed you the glass. “Absurdly sweet."

"You liked that I know."

You joked and, for a second, you had aroused he a desire to smile. A succinct curve in lips. With your sunny smiles and summer expressions, you looked like you were out of an enchanted forest inhabited by mystical creatures. Sun nymphs. Maybe Kaz would even have let himself go lightly if, when you took the glass back, your lips had not wrapped around the tip of the straw.

Exactly where his mouth was a second ago.

He pulse quickened so fast that it made the blood burn in his veins. It was impossible not to look down at delicate mouth, the subtle but destabilizing curvature in the center of your lower lip. Suddenly, he was out of breath, his body numb and his heart stopped beating for a second before accelerating to an alarming level.

Everything became hot, stuffy. The world spun away, out of focus, out of existence, leading he on a waltz unlike anything Kaz had ever felt before.

Kaz Brekker was the Bastard of the Barrel. Dirty hands and scammer. Someone trapped by his own body and traumas, unable to allow himself to enjoy human contact. But, hell, he was still a man. And in that moment, in that insane moment, he wanted to pretend, even for a few seconds, that what he wanted was within his reach.

Kaz thought he understood the desire: an attraction. He thought he knew what lust was: a wish that people felt. He had seen countless examples on his bar counter, drunk and chattering about what it was like to want a woman, to long for her. He thought he understood.

And he found that he didn't understand anything.

The desire was a hot and feverish whirlwind that shivered he from head to toe, with dizzying speed, and dragged everything towards perdition, below any intellect, any rationality. Rationally, he shouldn't have thought you were even more beautiful. But he did. He shouldn't feel his breath catch, but he did.

He felt as if he were walking on a narrow suspended board. One misstep and it would be the end of it. Hiding his disturbing thoughts, Kaz looked away from you.

He was ruined for the rest of his life.

[olderthannetfic]

Ugh. I'm so fricking tired of these pedophile-obsessed people looking for and doing nothing but talk about pedophilia ALL OVER THE WEB.

It's like we're just here enjoying talking about a couple of middle aged women having space adventures together and these wild-eyed people barge into the room shouting WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PEDOPHILES.

Or we'll be talking about a demon and angel thousands of years old falling in love and saving the world but suddenly the door bangs open making us all jump and they scream BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PEDOPHILES.

So we move down to the local coffee shop AU to talk about racism and representation in fandom but someone plonks down at our table and pushss our drinks aside and says ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T CARS THERE'S PEDOPHILES?!

And sure, somewhere, probably, some fifteen year old girl is writing a fantasy self insert fic about a character her age getting ravished by some fictional character she finds sexy from a TV show, and like as not she might write it as Not Her Idea (the younger character's) because it's embarrassing to admit desire even to oneself and kind of fun to pretend one is desirable, and so what you end up is a teen safely and tentatively exploring sexual impulses through writing instead of going out having sex in the real world too soon and getting in trouble, but the Purity Police are just sure SHE IS A PEDOPHILE and attack her to SAVE FICTIONAL INNOCENT TEENAGE GIRLS FROM THE ACTUAL REAL TEENAGED GIRL who tends to write this kind of fic

(see also stories about teenagers having sex, written by, gasp, horny teenagers thinking about sex: older fanfic writers are not interested in the sexual fantasies, novice writing skills, and inexperience of horny teenagers but again the Purity Police has an unhealthy obsession with them and keeps holding them up as examples of supposed PEDOPHILES)

on and on and on.

I am 50 years old. I have been a moderator of many forums in my day. I have to tell you that the PEDOPHILES are not lurking around every corner of fandom trying to get you.

What IS lurking around every corner right now is a tiny, vocal, PEDOPHILE OBSESSED mob insisting on shoving their fantasies, fears, fixations and fetishes about PEDOPHILIA in everyone's faces. Y'all give creepy details about PEDOS, as you call them — you even have a pet name for them — and what you thing they do and write about, when fans who have been active in fanfic communities since before the internet have never seen any evidence of what you are obsessed with.

Pedophiles PEDOPHILES pedophilia. PEDOS PEDOS PEDOPHILEs. That's all this tiny group wants to talk about — their fandom, if you will.

It's a damn good thing they're wrong about exposure causing people to want to do what they read about, because for the last few years they keep shoving pedophilia discourse in our faces, forcing us to consider it more in the past few years than we have in our entire lives— which in my case and in the case of many other CSA survivors is both ironic and abusive.

And it's a good thing writing about something isn't an indicator of real-world actions, because otherwise I would be very worried about this mob of PEDO OBSESSED people invading fandom spaces.

--

[94hhhjj]

Stuff where I am in that spectrum:

Canon I have never watched/read:

I used to read Supernatural fic before an '"all normal humans" Dean kidnapped Castiel and half convinced him they were soulmates due to an angelic presence via Stockholm Syndrome and some extreme duress non-con' fic made me decide the fandom was too dark for me.

I had a period of time where I was really into the Hannibal fandom, that was when I was really into the whole murderhusbands thing, and apparently so was everyone who'd actually watched the show.

When I first got into omegaverse, I read alot of Teen Wolf fanfics, because I didn't know where else to look for it and that was what popped up the most. The pairing I was into doesn't seem to popular amongst the omegaverse writers in that fandom anymore so I don't really read in that fandom when I'm wanting to read omegaverse anymore.

Had a bunch of stuff where the fanfiction has made me curious about the canon but in the end decided I wasn't interested in canon enough to keep on with it:

I read alot of HP crossovers and then read a bunch of HP fanfictio so I ended up reading the first 2 and 1/2 books of the HP series before giving up and deciding I didn't like JKR's writing because disappointingly her fans wrote better than she did. I do avoid the HP fandom now because it's gotten so toxic but it had some really talented writers.

I tried to watch Lazytown after the "We Are Number One" song and the outpouring of love for the actor who played Robbie Rotten got me curious about the show and that somehow ended with me reading fanfiction that got me fully on the Robbie Rotten is fae train, I never actually watched more than 2 episodes, possibly because I am very much not the target age group.

I have never played Final Fantasy of any version, evne though it all looks extraordinarily gorgeous but I really really enjoy the Sephiroth redemption via someone else's time travel fics. AimeeLouWrites and She_Sees_In_the_dark are particular fav authors of mine there.

I watched one episode of Miraculous Ladybug because I read some really good fics of Adrien running away or otherwise dealing with the drama of who Hawkmoth was. That was before someone named Luka and sentimonsters were introduced. Couldn't really get into the show though. [I'm pretty sure DPxML or DCxML crossovers were to blame for my interest in that fandom]

Stuff I don't exactly know where to put:

So I used to read alot of MCU fanfics, especially when the Avengers as a found family in the Avengers tower was a popular fic, and then a little bit when the Exvengers trope became popular, buuut I've only actually watched Iron Man, the first few minutes of Thor, and an Incredible Hulk movie that I'm not sure if it's the one canon to the MCU canon or not [also the X-men 1,2, and 3 but I don't really count those as being the same]. I can't remember if I watched Iron Man 2 or not. I always meant to get around to watching the MCU movies but never actually did. Now if I did, it'd probably be the Black Panther movies or the Spiderman ones[I'm honestly thinking about watching the one with all three Spiderman's in it despite having only ever watched the Tobey Maguire spiderman movies. I think it'd be an interesting way to watch it, since I only know a little about the other two.]

I read some DC fanfiction, I try to stick to the JLU/BTA/BB fics since those are the shows I've actually watched but there's so much bleed through of the canons I know I've read fic for the other canons.

pretty sure there's more but those are the ones I think of off the top of my head,

OH! I read the entire first 25{? 20 something} volumes of the New 52 Flash comics solely because nirejseki wrote this incredibly awesome fanfic of Captain Cold and the Flash becoming friends while Barry's civilian identity had been accused of murder or being dead? I forget which, that was a few years ago.

i think my next adventure will be to join a fandom without ever watching the source material. i will participate in discourse and pretend that i know what’s going on but in reality i am a fraudulent faker poser bitch. i think this is the direction my character development has to take

[pastafossa]

hi pasta❤️❤️❤️ idk if this has been asked already but is there a reason you got into writing? was it always a passion or did you randomly one day decide to start writing things…

xoxo, from a fellow matt manwhore lover

It has not been asked but I'm happy to answer it! I feel like there's a couple things that on their own weren't enough, but together they kinda worked like building blocks until they clicked:

Being born into a family of readers. My family LOVES books and reading, so not only was I read to early on, I was read to enthusiastically. Reading for fun was constantly modeled in front me, as was a love of characters and story (parents were Trekkies and LOTR fans, loved to discuss characters and stories, etc). I devoured books as a result, and learned to love a good story and relate to characters.

Family is also a theatre family. My dad actually has a degree in theatre production (he even worked on Golden Girls!) and my mom liked to write scripts for small plays and stuff. And they let me play small roles once I was old enough, do theatre camp, etc etc. This means I became comfortable getting up and actively helping tell a story, and I also had a chance to discover just how much I loved doing that (which is great, cause my other art attempts went poorly 🤣). I loved helping tell a story. I loved making people feel things.

Discovery of fanfic: so I already knew I loved stories and telling them, and I'd been supported in loving characters, but I didn't really have anywhere to put that love until I stumbled on fanfic at like... I think 11? 12? And it was like... I can get more stories??? About characters I love??? For free??? Wait... and you don't have to be a big grownup writer??? Cue lightbulb. I'm pretty sure my face was like

Thus much bad fanfic

I wrote on and off for a few years as a young teen, wandered off, came back, wandered off again. I saw it as a hobby at most, something I enjoyed doing but didn't really see myself as all that great at, mostly resigned to just reading. Ironically, I still took a ton of english and writing classes because I kept hoping I could at least find something related to stories and writing (I cannot understate how much my anxiety had convinced me I was a terrible writer). But it wasn't until I came back and did a Mass Effect fanfic for a friend that something clicked, and it was like... holy shit, this is a lot of fun, and I'm better than I was as a kid because all the reading and practice paid off! And people seem to like it and feel things???

Not only that, but I realized that maybe I could keep getting better and tell even better stories, and make people really REALLY happy (or sad, in the case of angst). So I jumped back in with a bunch of Dragon Age fanfic that did pretty decently well for the fandom. Nothing as popular or expansive as TRT, granted, but the DA fics were when I accepted that this had become a huge thing for me, that this made me really happy, and I decided I'd keep writing, and eventually found my way to TRT!

So in a way, it wasn't so much writing that was always a passion, though the building blocks were there. But there was always, always a passion for telling stories, and making people feel things. I just had to try a bunch of other story telling avenues first before I found what fit. 🥰

Let us never speak of my storytelling through dance phase

[druckkugelschreiber]

I was tagged for WIP Wednesday by @mxkelsifer but due to time zone shenanigans it’s now Thursday. Ah well, WIP Thursday it is. Also, I had a bit of a panic trying to figure out what to post as I am always working on too many things at once and the only other proper WIP I considered is in German, which didn’t feel fair for Kels and most of my english moots. 

So I had to figure out which of my endless oneshots I wanted to take but couldn’t be arsed to edit the whole thing so you only get this snippet. Anyway, context for the WIP below it’s my Skyrim Elder Scrolls main fanfic, which has a bit of a MCU crossover in the form of Brock Rumlow (shock horror, what a surprise, I know). 

I never write for it in chronological order, haven’t actually published anything for it either, but I like it. 

The WIP in particular is right after an argument my Dragonborn had with Ulfric and she needs to clear her mind which she preferably does by beating things or people up. Insert Brock her best friend and captain of her Imperial Guard. 

Brock kept pace with me on the way to the back courtyard. “You want to talk about it?”

“No, I want to fight about it, now shut up.” 

Brock’s smirk merely grew.  

Without warning I charged  at him with my sword and chased him across the courtyard. He let me do my thing for a while before he started his counter attacks. Of course, he couldn’t actually beat me with swords, but I usually needed a good blow out with swords before we started hand to hand because I was actually in risk of hurting myself or my partner otherwise. 

Brock was in excellent shape and nearly unarmed me twice. Kaidan was training him well. 

Once I could feel a thin sheen of sweat appear on my forehead I paused. “Okay, let’s get to the nitty gritty.”

Brock bared his teeth in something too feral to be a grin. “Yes, let’s.” 

We both put our swords to the side, but not our other weapons. It would take ages to take off all the daggers and both of us had a bit of a paranoia issue. 

We circled around each other. My heart beat in my throat now that I knew I was about to lose a fight. I actually tasted a bit of iron on my tongue. When you knew you couldn’t win every fight, knowing with certainty you’d lose the next one, was exhilarating, even if you knew you’d survive. I had been an adrenaline junky as a teen, this was the next best thing in a world without roller coasters. Though dragons were also a good substitute. 

Brock attacked first. He was absolutely merciless when he knew he could win a fight and never held anything back. Especially not when I needed to blow off steam. He was a great teacher when you came with the request to be taught, otherwise he just kicked your ass and I lived for it. 

I ducked under most of his blows, got a good few myself in. Our gloves protected us from the sharp edges of the armour and the armour of course protected us from permanent damage. 

Brock grunted as I got in a good hit to his ribs, right between the plates. Advantage of having designed and partially smithed that armour myself. He of course paid it back twice. I struggled to hold my footing. He swept my feet out from under me and planted me in a mean joint lock with my face in the dirt. 

I struggled a bit, mainly so I felt the pain in my limbs and the struggle in my muscles. I wanted to test how far I could go and how far he’d go. Of course, Brock didn’t give an inch. “You done yet?”

I pressed my face into the dirt. Gods, he was sexy. “Yeah.” 

He leaned forward and I felt his breath on my ear. “Are you tapping out then darling?”

[cheryldenson]

Any headcanons for Miss Denson?

Just like the Cheryl headcanons post I made awhile back, I have so many for Kate that I don't even know where to begin! Also as stated in my Cheryl post, most of these are directly taken from my fic Love By Daylight (I have pages of Kate headcanons in a physical notebook that I keep all my notes/plots/lore things for that fanfic).

I didn't do this on the Cheryl headcanons post but I'm gonna put the headcanons under the cut because this one might get pretty long-

-I'll start by saying while it's confirmed that while the skins in DBD aren't canon for the characters and are meant to be interpreted as AUs almost, I like many other DBD fans like to think the skins are at least a little canon or can at least still heavily relate to the canon characters themselves.

-While there's a lot of speculation about how famous Kate actually was, I personally like to see Kate as her world's version of Taylor Swift (Pre- 2012, when Taylor Swift's main genre was country/folk). The similarities between Kate and early-era Taylor Swift are uncanny, to a point where I'm convinced Kate was at least partially based off of her.

-Kate was big enough to be internationally recognized if we're taking her Tokyo Headliner skin into account, so I like to think she was pretty famous at one point.

-We also don't know how old Kate is currently or how old she was when she became famous, but I imagine she made it big as a teen star and is now currently dealing with the psychological aftermath of being a young star now in her early-mid twenties.

-Going off of that and based on her "Back to Zero" tome story, I definitely think Kate has a lot of mental health struggles including chronic anxiety (but also keeps much of it to herself out of fear of burdening others and keeping up her "happy songbird" persona).

-That's not to say her hopeful songbird persona is fake by any means, but her iron-willed determination to maintain it is both her greatest strength and her greatest enemy.

-I was never able to find the right word for it in the past, but I've always believed that Kate is a medium in some capacity.

-While Kate is really close with her mom, her and her father are... not so close. I like to think her father was either emotionally absent in her youth or didn't believe she would ever make it as a performer like her mom did. One of Kate's primary motivations for wanting to perform apart from lifting spirits was to try and gain the approval of her old man- eventually learning the hard way that not every dream can come true no matter how hard one hopes.

-Kate gives me strong "gifted kid trying her best not to burnout" vibes.

-As for siblings I've never been that sure but I could see Kate having a little brother that she is very protective of.

-Also nobody talks about how athletic Kate Denson is and I would like to rectify that.

-It's implied that she rides horses (which I'm not terribly knowledgeable in but I believe that lends to some very stronk legs) AND her Winter Wilderness skin implies that she just like?? Climbs mountains for fun???

-They got nerfed a little bit when her model was changed but her arms are so beefy??? And her back???

-This is why I believe Kate Denson is physically the strongest female survivor, or at least she's up there with Yui and Jill.

-So now we get into the fun stuff! Because Kate is the literal thematic antithesis of everything The Entity represents, I genuinely believe that The Entity is canonically intimidated by Kate Denson and was actively trying to turn her into a killer for years, but failed.

-I could make a whole separate post on that alone because I have so much evidence and points that I can make to support this based on canon DBD material (I literally copy-pasted Kate's bio and tome story and color-coded it and everything).

-This might be controversial but I really don't think Kate would have a country accent. Her in-game bio states that her home state is Pennsylvania.

-Her tome story revealed that Woodie Guthrie is one of her biggest role models (also this is one of the only instances where a real person is mentioned in DBD lore) but based on who Woodie Guthrie was I think it's a safe assumption to make that Kate is a socialist.

-While Kate is a lesbian in LBD, I also really like some of the pansexual Kate headcanons that I've seen!

-Many of the other survivors know who Kate is due to her prior fame, and I like to believe Kate knew both Jane and Yun-Jin before being taken by the Entity (Kate might have been on Jane's show in the past, and Yun-Jin she might have met just through the music industry).

-Kate has coulrophobia, also known as the fear of clowns. I explained it a bit better in LBD but basically it stems from the inauthenticity of their overdramatized makeup and routine, it kind of gives her some uncanny valley effect.

-Apart from The Clown for obvious reasons, Kate isn't really all that afraid of the killers. If anything, she kind of pities them (which could potentially also stem from her almost becoming a killer as well but who knows).

-I like to think that specific survivors have stronger skillsets than others in the fog, and Kate is definitely the best at distracting/looping the killer. This is based on not only her perk set but also from her personality strikes me as the clever-improvising type who wants to protect her teammates by redirecting the killer's energies away from them.

-While Kate did have her guitar when she was taken by the Entity, it is stated in her bio that her guitar was left behind. So the guitar that she's seen with in the fog might just be something she picked up from one of the realms (or Cheryl gave it to her :3).

I have so many more to share (and some I am unable to share until a later date because I don't wanna spoil anything for LBD's future) but this was a ton of fun to write out, so thank you thank you thank you for asking!

[themandylion]

97 & 41 jaytim

Oh wow, this ended up long. /o\

97 (Time Travel) + 41 (First Kiss) + JayTim

He's boosting tires in the Bowery when the thugs find him. Crowd him up against a wall and threaten him with bodily harm for horning in on their territory, even though this part of the city is a free-for-all, with no one reigning supreme. There's three of them to his one, all of them full-grown men with bulging muscles and nasty tempers and Jason knows he's in his final moments, that there's no way he's escaping this. Still, that doesn't mean he's going to go down without a fight. He squares his shoulders, plants his feet, raises the tire iron in his hand, and—

Between one blink and the next, the back-most thug is on the ground, groaning and clutching his crotch. There's a blur of red, and then the next one's down on his knees, the crowbar he was gripping half a block away and the hand that was holding it pinned to the wall by a slim, sharp-edged disk.

Silver flashes through the night, and the final guy collapses in a heap, just sprawled out on the pavement like he's not even human anymore, just a pile of discard clothes over something lumpy and unmoving. Someone lands on his back, light and nimble and impossibly tall. "You okay there, kid?" the new person asks, crouching down so he's at Jason's level and smiling.

"…Batman?" He's only ever seen the Bat from a distance before, but he's heard about the cape and cowl, and this guy has both.

The guy shakes his head. "Nope, not him. I'm his partner, though."

"Robin wears green," Jason feels compelled to point out, because he's definitely seen Robin before, though always on the TV, when the Teen Titans are fighting really scary bad guys elsewhere in the world.

This time, a shadow seems to pass over the man's face, sad and unhappy. "I'm a different kind of Robin. Red Robin. I'm pretty new, it's not surprising you haven't heard of me." He leans back on his heels and glances around at the thugs, frowning. "I've got to tie these guys up and leave them somewhere the GCPD will find them. Do you think you can get home on your own?"

Jason gulps, staring up at him, at the way all that tight leather and spandex hugs his body. Gee whiz. "Yeah, I. I can take care of myself. Thanks!" He surges forward, practically smacking his mouth against Red Robin's cheek, before running off into the night. Maybe not headed home, but to as close as anything gets, these days.

---

Two weeks later, Batman catches him boosting tires on Crime Alley. A week later, he's going home with the man. Jason asks about Red Robin and gets a confused, clueless look, which is strange. With everything else happening, he forgets about the man in the black cowl with the silver staff, but he still finds himself drawn to that one particular shade of red.

---

He forgets until the memory is jarred out of the deepest depths years later on the other side of the multiverse, when he's bound to a chair and staring down the barrel of gun. A gun held by another Batman, a different Bruce. One who did all the things he thought he wanted his Bruce to do, only to end up a broken man as a result. Jason tries to explain himself and his presence, but it's hard to when he keeps seeing that suit in the case over this Batman's shoulder.

They reach an understanding, a kind of peace. Both of them, finally, for the first time in ages. This other Bruce offers him the suit, and Jason doesn't think twice before putting it on. He's traveled across the multiverse, seen places where dead people live again, where evil people are good and vice versa. It's not too far a stretch to believe that somehow, he's going become his own childhood hero.

When he finishes pulling on the last piece, Bruce looks on him with pride and announces, "Red Robin lives!"

"Red…?" Jason murmurs, more than a little startled. It's been so long, he'd nearly forgotten the name, but it fits, it makes sense. Finally, he's back on the right path, back to being someone the boy he once was could be proud of. Will be proud of, when their paths cross again, which he's sure they will.

---

The other Batman dies.

---

They get back, finally done traveling across the multiverse, fleeing across Apokolips, running from plagues and maybes and might-have-beens. Donna and Rayner return to wherever they call home, and Jason... He thought he finally found himself when he put on the cowl and became Red Robin, but with everything that happened after that moment, all the contrition he gained has been too long stewing in a half-broken heart. He isn't sure who rescued him when he was a kid, but it wasn't him, and it wasn't the long-dead Jason of another world. Maybe it was no one at all, and he made it all up and convinced himself it was real.

He runs back to Gotham, strips off the cape and cowl, the bandoliers and leather. Throws it all in the trash and goes to knock some heads and blow off some steam, anything to escape from what the rest of the Justice League brought with them—a sob story and a broken, days-old body.

---

The suit disappears from the can where he threw it, and he thinks good riddance to bad rubbish, but the person who's wearing it now doesn't understand the significance, the legacy. Doesn't know what it symbolizes, a last chance at redemption, a final loss of innocence.

The new kid distracts him, muddies the water and still Jason doesn't see it, doesn't realize what's happening. Even when the kid takes the cowl, adds it to his green-free suit, he doesn't see it.

Jason's too busy fighting, too busy screaming, raging, being angry at himself and the world to realize how things are swirling tighter and tighter, closing in, twining together, weaving themselves in an intricate, impossible mesh that's new and old and always existing all at the same time. The three of them—him and Dick and the new kid—push and shove and fight and scream and grieve in their own ways, trying to figure out who they're going to be now, what the world is without Bruce.

He ignores overtures of friendship, leaves the kid broken and bleeding out and thinks nothing of it, still too busy hurting and too busy denying he hurts.

Thinks nothing of Robin back on the streets in red and green and black and yellow, a different boy, an actual child.

---

Bruce comes back, but he's just as stubborn as always, and Jason burned the last of his bridges while the old man was playing possum. There's nothing left for him to do but lurk in the shadows and grit his teeth and watch Drake bounce around the city in a costume that isn't his, telling himself he doesn't care, that it doesn't rub him the wrong way.

Doesn't actually realize what's happening until one day he's watching as Drake races across the city, ready to step in and stop him if he dares to cross into Red Hood's territory when suddenly—

There's no one. The roof's empty, not a soul in sight.

He swings over, investigates. There's a strange acrid smell in the air along with the faintest traces of sweat and exhaustion, but there's no clue to where he's gone, no hint. Minutes pass and the sky is getting darker as evening turns into night. Just when he's given up, Drake reappears, but still, unmoving. One hand grasping his staff while the other touches his cheek and he stares into nothing, dazed and unfocused.

His attention snaps up, and Jason is too startled to move, still standing there in the middle of the roof, the two of them locked in place.

"Holy fuck." He can't. This isn't—

He's tried to kill Drake multiple times over the years. They've barely had a conversation that hasn't ended with Jason drawing a knife or a gun, and more often than not he comes out on top. Leaves the guy knowing that he's alive at Jason's mercy.

But now he's standing there, finally grown into the Red Robin suit and name, filling it in all the right places, all the right ways, grasping a staff that Jason somehow failed to recognize until this exact moment.

"I never—" He never thought to make the connection, always assumed it had to be someone else, some one huge. Big enough to match the larger-than-life figure that dominated a half-forgotten memory.

"Huh." Red Robin collapses his staff, clips it his belt. "Random time blip? I didn't even realize."

Which would explain it. Of course he didn't realize—no way would he have helped that other, younger Jason if he'd known who it was. Why save a boy who's going to grow up to become a monster bent on destroying him over and over again. "Sorry," Jason says, startled, confused, unable to wrap his head around it all as he stumbles backwards, tries to do what he always does when he's confronted with too much, too fast—run.

Red Robin—Drake—tilts his head to the side and then does something completely unexpected. He shoves back the cowl and studies Jason with cool, clear eyes. "I have a feeling this has been a weird night for both of us. You could stick around. We could figure this out together."

So help him, Jason hesitates. "Time travel is pretty weird."

"I was thinking more being kissed by my childhood crush. But yeah, that too."

"Your… what?"

"Come on," he says, holding out a hand. "I think it's time we finally talked. Maybe without the death threats this time?"

Gulping, Jason takes that hand in his.

It's not much, but. It's a start.

(The Fanfic Trope MASH-UP is still open for asks!)