#ironic that the last thing I ever said to you was “Good luck”

[kifflepiffles]

Almost every day I still think about this super fucking cute guy in my Finance class I got so close dating. He was such a huge nerd, he loooooved Dragon Ball and FNAF and was into computer science, but he was an immigrant from Brazil, and I'm a white girl with dyed hair and piercings who was raised by another white girl with dyed hair and piercings and a stoner, ghetto, former gang member dad. so, despite them being awesome parents who raised me to be kind above all, his parents hated them and me before they even met us. But my parents loved him from what they heard, and we were still gonna try. His parents stopped letting him stay after school. And, I shit you not, on Valentine's Day, I had a heart-shaped piece of rose quartz I was going to give to him to ask him out, and he fucking got picked up early, AND GOT SENT BACK TO BRAZIL. AND HE DIDN'T/DOESN'T HAVE A PHONE. I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM THAT MAN SINCE VALENTINES DAY THIS IS SO FUCKING MEAN

Oh yeah and later that day I shit you not I accidentally flushed the rose quartz down the toilet IT FELL OUT OF MY POCKET AND DISAPPEARED INTO THE TOILET DUDE FUCK

[occamstfs]

Diet Diaries

Hi all! Thank you so much for 500 followers! Here's a little style switch up to celebrate, got a lotta refs in this one and I quite leaned into the diary entries so I hope it's not too much! Hope y'all enjoy this stereotype reversal and as always, best! -Occam

Monday March 21st-

Andy:

I am beyond sick of Steve. Moving in together was a mistake, I don’t care how cheap the rent is, he is a narcissistic slob and I am eager to never see him again. Well no, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. Our R.A. had this idea to try and walk in each other's shoes, which I don’t know? It might not be the worst thing? My big idea was switching diets actually- honestly I’m just hoping if he ate more like me he’ll stop stinking up the dorm. I can dream at least. Literally though he just can’t go to the gym as often if he eats like me. If I'm lucky at the very least his deodorant will last longer, I cannot take another day of his b.o. seeping through the walls, ugh! Anyway, wish me luck! I’m sure this will be a breeze for me, he usually just eats junk anyway, hope he enjoys my salads~

Steve:

Andy that little fucker. He was being such a little bitch to James and now I’ve gotta eat his rabbit food for a week or lose this bet or whatever. Steve don’t lose tho. Lil twink’s gotta eat whatever I make him too and you can bet your ass I’m gonna make him match my macros if I’ve gotta starve myself like he wants. Fuck! This shit is going to absolutely tank my routine! I’ve gotta make Andy give up. I’m gonna go so hard on him he’ll have to hit weights if he doesn't want to blow up like a pig. Maybe then he’ll stop bitching any time I don’t fucking shower every time I get back home. 

Tuesday March 22nd-

Andy:

My Lord! He is trying to kill me! I don’t know how anyone could consistently eat as much as he’s telling me to. I’m so bloated from all this food.. He looks so smug every time he tells me to keep eating, I’m sure he doesn’t eat like this. He’s just trying to break me but I’m not going to let him win this easy.

Ugh, I feel so bloated my pants are so tight on my waist. I didn’t think meat sweats were a thing but man I am needing to put on deodorant like twice a day now and I’m not even exercising. I will say that now that I’m eating so much, I don’t hate the idea of going to the gym. It’s been a while since I went but I should probably at least hit up the treadmill lest I get even more of a gut- maybe I’ll see if he wants to go tomorrow. This is all just an exercise to understand each other more after all, no need to make it a stupid competition like he wants eh~

Steve:

Fuck! I am so tired of Andy’s pussy-ass diet. I had absolutely no energy at the gym today, I told all my bros that I was just gonna take it easy but fuck! I really was working my ass off and I struggled to even meet a PR I set last week. It was supposed to be a push day and I didn’t even get a chest pump! Why the fuck am I still going. I’m abso-fucking-lutely not getting gains on his fuckin’ bitch-ass salads and oats.

Eatin’ like a fucking twink and the fucker has the nerve to ask to go to the gym with me tomorrow. I’ll make sure he regrets that >:) Gonna work him like a horse so he’ll throw in the towel! After feeling how sore actually working on yourself makes ya, he might actually learn something. I’ll turn in early so I can go all out and show him what a real man looks like.

Wednesday March 23rd-

Andrew:

Man! I totally get why Steven eats so much now~ I am absolutely raring to go and get this; He said I could go to the gym with him today! He even seemed like he wanted me to go with him! I feel like I have more energy than I’ve ever had before, I might even try some weights!! I don’t know but I’m so excited! It’s like I can feel my chest and biceps begging me to go and hit some iron haha! Or whatever those “bros” say~ I hope he’s got something good planned for lunch because I fuck Sorry! I just want to show him that I can do all this dude stuff too! I’m a man right? I guess all this protein is making me feel more like a man than usual idk. Either way though I’m ready to go! Hope we have some fun!

Steven:

That bitch’s fuckin’ fru fru salads are ruining my PR’s for sure! I bet he knew that when he begged me to take him to the gym today, knew it was the only time he could show off to me was when I’m so out of it. And he didn't! Just to be clear I could still wipe the floor with  him even if I’m not at my A-game. Ugh, I do gotta hand it to the little fucker though. I KNOW he hasn’t even really set foot in a gym before but man. Beginners luck my ass, as soon as I showed him a technique he lifted like he’s been doing it his whole life! It’s like I could see his pecs and tris swelling up with each lift. Not that I was staring at the bitch or anything but he’s just I just need this fuckin’ diet thing to end so I can get back to my grind, I guess I wouldn’t hate taking him to the gym more often, would be hot to make a bitch into a bro Fuck! What am I writing, I just need to lift again.

Thursday March 24th-

Andrew: 

Bro! Weird? Whatever, I am absolutely on fire! Steven’s diet is absolutely killer! I don’t know how it’s working so well but man I couldn’t care less, I felt like a pro in there! My coaches in school would always shit on me for not trying but man! I was barely trying yesterday but I could tell from the look on Steven’s face that I was acing it! I guess I’ll have to admit to him that he is definitely onto something with his macros but man, not until he gives up haha! Man, I need to chill haha, it’s not like I’m any stronger than I was Monday but man, looking at myself in the mirror it just seems like my clothes are just fitting better. Catching on my chest rather than my stomach y’know? I’ve never noticed that there is muscle on my arms before but man the way my sleeves are kinda hugging my biceps mm. I need to chill haha! Can’t use all my energy before hitting the gym again today!

OH! Also totally weird, I’ve had to shave twice this week! Once last night and then again this morning which is so weird! I’m not complaining though, it’s not like I wouldnt look hot with a beard right? Although my face is a little itchy already, my chest too? Whatever though haha! Time to head back to the grind lol!

Steven:

God!! Andy Andrew is being such an asshole! He’s clogging the sink shaving which I know he would so be on my ass if I had done that. Wait, he did get on my ass for shaving! But it hasn’t been a problem this week, it’s like I’m not even growing stubble for some reason? Probably from not working so hard at the gym, is that how that works? Whatever it’ll be over as soon as this stupid diet thing is. We’re halfway through now. Thank God! Because that fucking twink is starting to stink up the dorm which again!! He was such a little bitch all the time to me about that! It’s like he’s literally stopped using deodorant as soon as he started needing it! He’s never exerted himself in his life and now that his pits are sweating at all he’s suddenly allergic to hygiene, ugh! I saw last night too the fucker fell asleep with his head in his pit too so it’s not like he doesn’t know it. 

It was a little surprising actually, cause I would’ve sworn he was hairless like one of those freak cats but man his pit was as thick as my pubes! Thicker maybe, uh? Man I wish I could get that image out of my head, it’s like the tuft was pushing out further each time he inhaled, man that’s kinda hot? Fuck! I swear this twink-ass diet is making me think like him too. I need to sneak to the gym later, without him. I cannot have him getting ahead even while I’m still on his chickenshit diet.

Friday March 25th-

Steven:

Ah!! That Little bitch! He was already at the gym when I got there! Ugh! It makes me want to punch a wall, or fight him. Or something I dont know! It’s just, he was lifting my body weight on the bench when he saw me, it was so ho ugh! It doesn’t matter what it was, I can’t stop thinking of that smug look on his face- what I would give to wipe it off… That absolute prick knew what he was doing. Ugh, speaking of pricks! He may as well have not been wearing shorts at all by how much his cock was showing through them.

I knew my meal prepping was fucking tight but man, I can’t believe hot its made him. It just really fucking turns me on, or no its such a turn on for chicks. Yeah. Whatever. I need this bet to end already. Clearly he’s totally obsessed with my lifestyle so he should just admit it already! Also, hate to say it, but to Andrew’s credit his diet ain't too bad either. I’d never tell him this, and it is all a little emasculating but my skin has never looked this good. I’m not even doing skincare or anything but it’s like I’ve been on a routine for years, it’s crazy! It’s still ruining my upper gains but man, my ass looks so good it's crazy..

Oh also re: facial hair, I woke up this morning and could’ve sworn I used to have chest hair but now it looks like I’ve got just a little left around my nipples and leading up from my pubes? I might go ahead and shave those too, might as well be totally smooth like a chick right haha, I wonder what Andrew would think? I need to chill haha, maybe I’ll go see if he’s still at the gym~

Andrew:

Fuuuuck dude lol. I should’ve started hitting up the gym ages ago. Don’t know what I was even wasting time on before I started doing twice-a-days? Studying I guess but I can figure that shit stuff out hm. Fuck it is so much better to be strong than a dweeb. Every set it feels like I’m just busting out new PR’s! Gonna need to buy new clothes though cause I am absolutely tearing up my crop tops, my twinky little wardrobe just isn’t cutting it anymore. Maybe Steven’d be down for a clothes swap, I’ve seen him eying up my fits all week, god knows he’ll fit them better lol. Oh haha, and speaking of him eying things up >:) You should’ve seen his little face blush when he walked into the gym this morning! He looked so pissed at me lol, but I’m not gonna grab him to come along every time I need to get some sets in right? It was pretty embarrassing for him yesterday anyway, the way I showed him up lol. I’m not just gonna sit around and watch him not lift weights when I can figure this shit out myself, thought it was supposed to be his thing though lol.

Mm, saying that though, I def didn’t hate having a little audience from his treadmill. God, his blushing face as he stared directly at my work-out chub. Fuck, it really got me going. It really helped my sets too haha. Maybe I should hit him up lol, I can tell how bad he wants me >:)

Saturday March 26th-

Stevie:

Ugh! That douche is walking around the dorm completely shirtless! Do you know what it’s like to have an oaf flexing away across the room from you 24/7! He knows what he’s doing, and thank god my dick isn’t showing through my shorts like I thought it usually does because he might literally pounce on me then-

Ugh! I didn’t even mention this morning. I literally woke up to him jacking off his morning wood! Do you know what a bitch-fit he would have thrown if I did that! He would’ve filed a police report, probably the dweeb, or. I guess I could too?? But it was just so fucking hot. I tried to pretend I was asleep, but he totally caught me. He literally smirked and made eye contact as he finished too- thank god he didn’t see my boner as he asked if I wanted to clean up his mess. He’s such an ass! 

I still have a boner now actually, it’s his B.O. driving me actually crazy! It’s like I can’t think near him if he’s going to stink this bad god.. Oh, he’s doing pullups on the door frame fuck. He’s supposed to be hairless but I see sweat dripping from his pits god I can't. God with each pull up his chest looks even more powerful. His cock is bobbing up and down in his pants and I can not look away. Fuck it’s getting even bigger. I’m supposed to be the strong one right? It’s not, fuck. This isn’t right. He just so fucking, god that body, I need him-

And Drew:

Heh. I knew that fucking twink couldn’t resist me. Every little thing I do wraps him even tighter around my finger. Every flex and smirk turns him on even more I bet he can’t even think straight the way his little dick is losing it in his briefs- I took all his jocks since I’m sure he would need them anymore. Bet the little bitch didn’t even remember they were his.  

Might as well have been drooling when he saw me jacking my cock this morning lol, surprised he didn’t take me up on the offer to lick up the mess. I know he wanted to lol. He’ll get the chance soon enough though >:) God it’s a two-way street though. That fucking twink is so fuckable now, thank god he doesn’t need to shave anymore, don’t want his peachfuzz scratching my cock cause god that mouth is so fuckable now.. To say nothing of his fucking juicy ass, god! I’ve been working out in the room all morning waiting for him to give in and ask me to fuck him, idk if I can hold it in much longer. I might need to jack it again, my balls are bluer than I ever thought they could be, fuck. It’s like they're sore. Ugh I feel them getting heavier, heh, that little fucker cant resist though. God I feel precum starting to pool in my jock. If I put my pit within a foot of his face I give him five before he can’t help but shove his face in. I need to fuck him, but as if I’m going to let him see how desperate I am. Stevie that little fucker. He’ll be riding my cock any second now.

Sunday March 27th-

Stevie:

Fuck <3 !! He finally fucked me!! God, it was like nothing I’ve experienced before~ His cock was like a beer can and goddd the scratch of his beard as we were making out.. Hehe if I keep thinking about him I might just cum again right now! He can fully toss my body like a ragdoll and I’d thank him ugh! He’s just so hot, and to think he wants to fuck me!! Ah~ I’ll need to keep myself pretty so he won’t get tired of me hehe! Not that it’ll be a problem, I just need to keep on his diet, God who knew it would be this good! I don’t even remember whatever problems we had before all this and I can’t imagine anything better than getting fucked by him <3 Ah! He he~ He’s staring at my ass right now so I guess it’s time for another round! Can’t thank our R.A. enough for this idea, well he he I’ve got an idea for how to thank him, oh! Drew’s ripped off his jock! Wish me luck he he~

Drew:

My little bitch is so tight, fuck. I’m surprised he can even take my cock but god can he ride it. Gonna have a hard time taking a break from fucking him to even hit the gym. Need to make sure the twink keeps up the diet tho or we’ll have an issue. Be sure to make him come to the gym whenever I do, if not to tighten up then to watch me heh. Won’t hate fucking him in the locker room too. Mm, God his fucking tiny body makes me feel so powerful. And I fucking am. God my bis are the size of his thick thighs, fuck his ass. My cock is straining my jock just thinking about it. His tiny waist ugh, I need my sweaty body over him now. Not like he’ll mind, the horny fucker. Mmm hope he’s ready to take my cock, bet his mouth is already watering heh. Pop my pecs at him and he’ll struggle not to cum on the spot, he better keep it together until I let him though. Can’t be having my bitch blow his load that fast. Thank fuck he’s chilled out finally, though I guess my cock’ll work wonders on anyone >:) speaking of it’s about that time again. Hope he’s ready for some more action, hate to have to find another hole.

[ratioaven]

spoilers for 2.1 !!!!!!!

aventurine rant, please keep in my mind that these are my own thoughts and interpretations. im extremely sleep deprived lol so im sorry if i got anything wrong

something thats been on my mind since yesterday are these lines.

from the start to me, it was very clear aventurine had self esteem/worth issues because of how he treats his own life, but the line that says “the other hand is below the table, clutching your chips for dear life” stuck out to me.

i always assumed aventurine was so incredibly confident in his luck but in reality he is afraid. he’s terrified that he’ll lose. it’s an act. he convinces himself, he fools himself, he forces himself to act like he’s confident he’ll win, when in reality even if he does win, he’s still clutching his chips under the table for dear life because of how terrified he is of losing.

that really messed with me to be honest. i feel tricked and what’s ironic is that he tricks his opponents into thinking he’s confident, and he also tricked ME the player but really, this made my heart break in two because i had absolutely no clue up until now.

so why does he act this way

all throughout his life, aventurine has had his pride stripped away. just try to imagine being in his shoes. i myself do not think i could deal with the situations he was put in. i cannot stress this enough, aventurine has a mark on his neck that screams to him that he has once belonged to someone. he has had his pride stripped away from him countless times. but it’s ironic because aventurine is introduced as a very prideful and flashy man. you start to realize the front aventurine puts on is his own way of protecting himself. it’s how he’s able to live basically. i wanna go into more detail but i will later.

as it was said before, aventurine is an uptight person who worries. he is extremely afraid of losing and he has a massive inferiority complex. aventurine may seem like a go lucky person on the outside, but in actuality he is not. he is not happy. he has no self worth, he believes he has nothing to live for, and he has no problem with throwing his life away. aventurine believes the only good thing he brings to the table is his luck.

but this brings me to my next point.

aventurine may not realize it, but he is so much more than his luck. he has so many good qualities and he doesn’t seem to realize it. even if some of it may be an act, he’s still able to pull it off. he’s still an intelligent business man who is both charming and cunning EVEN if it may be an act, those are still amazing qualities to have in his line of work.

but more importantly, aventurine chose to live. despite witnessing his family die, being a slave, and tortured, he chose to live. he chooses to. i cannot stress this enough. this man has gone through hell and back. he truly has had an incredibly difficult life to the point where my heart hurts so so badly for him. he made the decision to stay alive.

that says more than enough about his character.

and last but not least, aventurine wants one thing, and that is to be with his family. he’s witnessed horrible things in his life that no one should ever go through. he lost everyone close to him, he lost his people. he has nothing to live for and he values his life so little to the point where he has no problem with dying. the only real thing that he wants is just to see his family.

and he will one day, but in the meantime, i genuinely hope this man can find a reason to live, and ratio already gave him one just by that note. i just truly wish aventurine happiness while he lives the rest of his life.

i guess this is a topic that really hits me hard because i know all too well that choosing to live life isn’t easy sometimes and i just love aventurine.

let’s all appreciate how truly amazing his character is.

[alchemistc]

visions are seldom all they seem

an: warning for a hint of dubcon hidden in amongst tommy's memories

They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes.

That's a fucking fairytale if he's ever heard one. Tommy's had enough friends brought back from the brink, enough experiences of his own, to know that it's a crock.

When you die, you...die. You're there, and then you're not.

Tommy's legs are pinned, and there's smoke filling the cabin, and the last thing he'd said to Evan before he walked out the door was "Tell your father thank you, but I'm happily involved with a younger man."

There's something poetic about all of this, Tommy thinks, as he watches Garrett stumble to his feet, just beyond the door he'd managed to break loose to Tommy's left. Tommy hates poetry. Not necessarily as a general rule, but there's a lot of pretentious shit out there, and this feels pretentious. Maybe that's just the smoke inhalation.

"Kinard!"

Garrett's coming around the other side, lopsided and limping, but still pushing.

Thank fuck they hadn't been carrying passengers. He's pretty sure one of the blades had sliced clean through the hull behind him. He can't really look - there's something caught in his belt, pinning his back to the seat, and he's got one arm too fucked to reach for the blade strapped to his hip, and another that wouldn't reach if he tried. He's losing blood, he's losing time. He's done the math.

"Kinard!" Garrett's not having much luck with Tommy's door, which makes sense. The landing skid had done good work with the whole right side of the bird. Tommy's pretty sure the aftermath of that piece of work is the reason he can't move his fucking legs.

There are tools, somewhere nearby, that might have been useful, if Tommy hadn't used Garrett's clear concussion against him in an effort to get Garrett the fuck out.

It's funny, though. Funny that this is the way he goes. Not in the initial crash, which they'd somehow both survived. Not even from the blood loss, though Tommy guesses the coroner will have something to say about that being a mitigating factor. Probably won't even be the fire, which Garrett seems to have banked, a bit, with the extinguisher he'd scrounged from - somewhere. No. Four tours and a dozen plus years as a firefighter and it's the smoke that's gonna get him.

The windscreen is cracked. If Tommy wasn't in the midst of dying, he'd probably be thinking up the most professional way to tell his superiors that his windscreen isn't supposed to fucking spiderweb out like that, but -

Garrett's got the extinguisher in hand again, which is a nice thought, except he'd watched him drain it earlier. But he's not -

Tommy flinches when the canister makes contact with the windscreen and it cracks a little more.

He wishes he'd texted something better to Evan than a thumbs up emoji in response to his "Be safe" text. Gonna look real fucking ironic in a few minutes, here.

The glass webs out further when the canister makes contact again, and over the crackle as the flames kick back up, Tommy realizes that Garrett's yelling at him. Has been, for a while now, most likely. He can't really hear it, or contextualize it, but he's definitely yelling.

Something cracks. A few shards of glass sprinkle on down towards his knees. Garrett's voice gets louder. "--uckley's gonna kill me if I fuck up your pretty blue eyes, fuckhead, so close them right fucking now, Kinard!"

It's not like he has anything better to do than take orders. He follows his instructions.

The windscreen doesn't shatter - it's built not to - but a second later Garrett's got something wedged into the seal, tearing at it now that the things mangled enough not to be airtight, and Tommy isn't sure where he'd gotten a crowbar, or how the fuck he'd climbed the nose with a bum leg, but he's a little glad he'll be too dead to get the lecture from Garrett's wife on making sure his copilot doesn't do dumb shit.

"-kill you to - little leverage wouldn't - 'mon Kinard - 'mme something to work -"

Tommy's flagging. He can't really breathe, anymore. There's chance the impact shattered a rib or two.

The windscreen actually folds, under the leverage from outside, but Garrett still doesn't know Tommy's pinned. He'd have had a better chance if Garrett had just worked the fire, but Tommy doesn't plan to tell him that. As it is, he sucks in smoke and blinks through the haze as Garrett folds the windscreen farther back. "Hold on, Kinard!"

Tommy laughs. "Not going anywhere," he says, which aren't the last words he'd have chosen for himself, an hour ago, but - seems fitting, anyway. He gets a feeble cough out, and then things go blurry.

"Fuck you, Tommy," isn't the last thing he ever expected to hear, either, but - well. Today's been FUBAR since he took the chopper up, so.

Fuck you, Tommy it is.

---

The field behind his grandparents house is loud, in the soggy twilight - frogs and crickets and cicadas, a cacophony of noise.

Oh, Tommy's absolutely gonna be pissed if all his friends just didn't get far enough into dying for the flashbacks. It's not like he could have asked any of the ones who'd actually kicked the can, of course, and Tommy'd never been actually all the way dead before. Just - on the brink.

This isn't anything like Evan had described.

Tommy turns. And there's nonna, in her sapphire blue muumuu, flicked with gold trim, grey hair permed within an inch of its life. He can smell the romas she must have brought in from the sun at dusk, and the espresso poured into her fancy china next to her porch chairs - a rocking chair he'd never had a chance to fix up for her before she'd been gone, the Adirondack he'd stopped fitting into when he sprouted six inches the summer between sophomore and junior year.

Nonna grins.

Tommy watches a firebug flit by him.

He blinks, and Nonna raises an eyebrow at him - the same way she'd done the first time he tried to lie about where he'd gotten the bruise on his chin, or why his knuckles were scabbed over, or what he thought of the model on her favorite set of dog eared bodice rippers.

Tommy isn't sure what he could possibly be lying about right now, but he doesn't get a chance to ask. Between one blink and the next the night, the frogs, and Nonna's back porch are gone.

---

Tommy fucking hates Dorian Gray. The reasons had changed, over the years, but even more than being wedged into this fucking deathtrap of a desk, with it's lose nuts and bolts and the arm on the wrong side of his fucking body (because Tammy Pritchard always got the lefty desk in every fucking class and not a single one of his teachers had ever thought to wonder why his handwriting on his homework had better penmanship and an incredibly unsubtle smear of ink when compared to his in-class assignments): even more than the scent of Heather Chester's perfume and the reek of weed and Cheetos coming off of Barry Trott, in the seat in front of him; even more than the squeak of chalk against the blackboard as Mrs. Henderson posits the question of the day (What is so horrifying about the painting?); Tommy hates this fucking book.

He sort of wishes this memory had taken him back to freshman year instead - at least he could articulate why Holden Caulfield had been a whiny little bitch.

It's not like he could say -

Well.

Actually.

This is Tommy's death rattle. So.

"It's a mirror," Tommy says, like he hadn't all those years ago. No one notices that Tommy's a few decades too old and more than a few inches too wide to fit in his desk. "It's an indictment on everyone who ever had a hand in creating such a beautiful monster."

Mrs. Henderson doesn't look up. Tommy doesn't know why he expected she would.

She'd never listened to him before, either.

---

He'd been expecting his dad, next, which is his own damn fault.

Captain Turner's zipping his pants back up.

Tommy rises from his knees.

The paperwork is there on his desk. A glowing recommendation for the flight training he's been denied twice already. Tommy's throat feels gummy. He can't remember when Turner stopped using condoms.

This isn't how it happened.

"Open your eyes, Kinard."

Tommy's eyes are already open.

---

"I'm proud of you, son," Gerrard says, and Tommy would very much prefer it if he was just dead, already.

The thing is - the thing is Gerrard looks genuinely pleased to see him - a rare enough thing in general, rarer still because this is the older Gerrard, the one he'd shut the fuck down in front of the very first chance he'd been given to tell him exactly how rank Tommy really thought he was.

"You know when to give up," Gerrard continues. And.

Oh.

Well.

Did he have a choice?

"Of course there's a choice. Make the right one. Keep on making it, Kinard."

---

Pain.

Christ. Tommy's had shrapnel under his skin for decades, now - he's been blown up, and shot, stabbed once, although that was a grazing blow, really.

This is so much worse. He feels like he's hemorrhaging, like his lungs are constricting, like -

"You're no son of mine."

Yeah. That'd been worse than the IED by far.

"Dad," he says, but the damage is done. His room is in shambles, which Tommy thinks is overkill - his dad'd probably found the Blueboy Tommy had tucked under the mattress a long while before he had swept all his football trophies off the shelf and emptied what looked like the entire contents of his wardrobe onto the floor.

On the plus side, it looks like he'd actually ripped his annotated copy of Picture of Dorian Gray in half, too, so small favors.

Only.

This hadn't happened. This was his nightmare scenario, the horrific dream he'd had every day for six years until he got out of basic and the nightmare scenarios turned physically violent, instead. If his dad had ever known an inkling of Tommy's inclinations he'd ignored it until the day Tommy made him stop ignoring it.

He'd never found his dirty magazine - just the one, because he'd been too fucking terrified of having a second one lying around somewhere.

Those words he'd reserved for something else entirely.

His dad had thrown a bitch fit when Tommy'd enlisted in the Army instead of the Marines, but those words - those were the words he'd gotten when the father he hadn't spoken to in three years learned that Tommy'd gone for turnouts instead of a gun and badge.

How do you emulate your father and rebel at the same time?

"Love you too, pops," Tommy says, and waits for the blink.

---

"Oh," Tommy says, and blinks open his eyes. Keith smiles back. It's a charming little grin, the first thing that had caught Tommy's eye across the bar three months before this night. And it's not - the room is all wrong, and it'd been midday, not evening, six hours between shifts and the first time their schedules lined up in weeks. Keith is all lithe muscle and smeared makeup, barely an hour out from his latest shoot.

"Don't say it," Keith says, and shifts his weight against sheets that aren't even the right color.

Tommy had wanted to say it, though. Thirty-odd years and he'd never had the courage to say it to anyone who might say it back in a meaningful way, but Keith -

They'd been all wrong for each other. Conflicting schedules, conflicting lifestyles, conflicting expectations. Keith would spend the next six months flying back for hookups, jet setting around the world on a campaign for Dolce & Gabanna, and then text Tommy to let him know he should get tested and never reach out again. Tommy would fly his chopper over the aftermath of a tsunami and wonder how it felt to drown.

The hands on his skin are wrong - rough with calluses, working hands. Tommy slides his thumb across the palm of one and thinks it feels like home.

"Don't go back to sleep," Keith says. There's something playing on Tommy's TV, which had never been in his room when he was with Keith.

That had been a recent development, actually, and technically it wasn't even his TV, but when Evan's lease had been up it had just made sense to the both of them to -

"Monster truck rallies, really?" Keith says, but the volume on the TV is too loud to make out what he says next. His mouth moves, and the words don't make it to Tommy's ears, and when he blinks again he thinks he can hear sirens.

---

The chicken barely moves as Bobby passes it off to Officer Grant, and there's some sort of significance to this moment, Tommy knows, but Sal is too busy making smooching faces at Tommy, his laugh deep and bracing, for Tommy to figure out what that significance is.

Eddie is staring at him from the passenger seat when he swings up into the rig.

"You need to come back," Eddie says, and that stupid fucking mustache twitches. "You stupid bastard, you have to come back."

---

"Just like that?" Tommy asks, staring at the transfer papers, and Nash looks at him like he knows too much.

"Have you changed your mind?"

Tommy's uses his middle and ring finger to pull the transfer papers closer to himself. Bobby hums, satisfied. "Good. I've got my eye on one of the new kids in training - hate to pass up on him."

Tommy shakes his head. "You still haven't replaced Sal. Who's even gonna train this new guy?"

Bobby's in his civvies. He's holding his rosary beads. Did he start out like that, or is this death knell just fucking with him now? "Not your time, yet," Bobby tells him, and Tommy doesn't -

---

"Just a little something I learned at the 118," Donato says with a grin, while Jerry eyes the blown up photo of Tommy and Evan kissing in the hospital lobby that's been hung up on the announcement board right next to Jill's kids butterbraid order sheet. One of the nurses must have taken it. Donato must have bribed one of the nurses to take it on the ride to the hospital. "We're, like, a base and a half away from wiener cousins, you know," she sing-songs, and Tommy tilts a raised brow her way.

He's still staring at the picture. When had Evan's hand made it that far into his turnout?

"I'm just saying, having been on the your end of those lips - congrats."

"Does it smell like smoke in here to you?" Jerry asks, and Tommy tries to swallow, tries to respond, but there's something stopping him from -

---

"Hey," Evan says. He's on nonna's rocking chair. The cicadas and the frogs are loud, against a backdrop of misty fields. It still smells like sundried tomatoes, but there's an antiseptic scent underneath it. There's a firebug perched on Evan's birthmark. "I'd, uh, really hate it if the last conversation we ever had was about my dad's weird obsession with you."

Tommy would also hate that. He goes to say so and can't speak. His chest is on fire, and his leg feels like it might give out if he takes a step forward. Evan's too far away, but he can still feel the calluses on Evan's fingers on his wrist, steady against his pulse.

"So, if you could just. If you could just open your eyes. Twitch your fingers. Um. I have a ring, and a speech, but I'd settle for like, you waking up to tell me you're leaving me for Andrew Garfield."

He's thinking of Andrew Lincoln, but Tommy can't get his throat to work to tell him so, or to remind him that Tommy actually hates that plot in Love Actually. Now Colin Firth...

The fingers slide from his pulse point to his ring finger. His leg screams. The cicadas drown out whatever Evan says next.

---

The lights in this room are too fucking bright. It smells of sterile metal and the cedarwood soap Evan uses. His hand is stuck to the bed.

"Tommy."

Tommy's pretty sure he's imagining the firefly perched on Buck's brow as he slides into his sight line, but the rest of him is real, and solid - his ridiculous fade and the curls askew atop his head and the slow blooming smile across his face, the hand sliding up his arm and the suddenly wet corners of his eyes.

"ey," he says, or tries to say - it comes out as croaky as the frogs that'd guided him through whatever strange dream he'd been having. He's losing the edges of it already, trying to grasp details even as they slip way. Evan's going to be so fucking disappointed they can't trade coma dream stories.

Evan hovers while a nurse looks him over, demanding ice chips from someone out in the hallway, and Tommy can't stop looking at him. He'd been dead. He'd been sure this was it, this time.

Tommy gets three ice chips down before he's allowed to speak.

"Why's the chicken important?" Which is - great. They've got him hooked up to good drugs. He'd meant to start off with the basics - I love you, and don't propose to me in a hospital room I know it's a Buckley special but I'd like to limit our significant moments here until they actually dedicate a wing in your honor. "Did Eddie shave the mustache while I was out?"

Jesus Christ.

Evan's laugh is wet, and his hand is wrapped around the cup of ice chips, instead of around Tommy's, which seem unnecessarily cruel.

"I love you," Evan says.

They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes. Evan informs him, eventually, that he'd crashed twice on the med-evac and been gone for a total of one minute eighteen seconds ("There's no significance to that. A coincidence," Tommy tells him. Evan doesn't fight him on it. Not then, anyway.) The flashing thing is still a crock of shit. Tommy's lost most of it before Evan gets around to 'you'.

Tommy finally gets Evan close enough to grasp his hand - slide his finger over the rough pad of his thumb, dig a nail into the forking lifeline in his palm. "Hey," he says, when Evan's grip goes tight, and tears well up in his eyes again. "Were you watching monster trucks while I was out?"

[lavishlyleo]

Astrology Observations 5

One thing I've noticed with Gemini Moons is that while they do love to talk to people and share their thoughts, if they aren't interested in the conversation's topic or if you stay on one topic for too long, they tend to zone out. If they aren't very invested in the convo at hand it will be VERY noticeable (e.g. blank stares, they suddenly go very quiet, dry repetitive responses, checking their phone frequently).

The same can be said for individuals with a lot of Air in their charts in general, especially Gemini and Libra. It can be hard to keep these individuals attention for prolonged periods of time. They like to cut to the interesting part so keep what you have to say very brief and to the point.

Not something Leo Moons are known for, but that I've noticed is that they can be really good at analyzing peoples behavior. Like, they'll see how someone acts and can make connections to their own behavior to understand some elses emotions and feelings. It's how many Leo Moons relate to people, bonus points if their Moon is in a water house!

In your Natal chart, if your ruling planet 's transit is in opposition or square with your natal ruling planet's sign, it can indicate a period of bad luck and hardship. It may feel like the world is against you at the moment, especially if said aspect is in a less than 5° orb. Not a great transit aspect to have.

For example, My ruling planet is Jupiter (Sag Rising) and it's in Scorpio at 9°. IRONICALLY ENOUGH, in my Solar Return chart for this year, Jupiter is in Taurus at 9°. So I'm expecting a lot to happen this year. Later on this year I'll make an update on this aspect.

If you have Scorpio or Pisces in your SR top 3 this year, don't take this lightly!! Like I said in my last post with manifestations, this will be a year that your manifestation power is at an all time high! You may literally speak things into existence, for better or for worse.

On the topic of Scorpio/Pisces SR top three, my advice for this (and I'm speaking from experience) is try to think about things you want to happen, not things you don't want or like. For example, if you think about how much you don't like a certain person, later on down the line you may find yourself suddenly coming back in contact with that person a lot more, when either you wanted to or not.

People with Cancer personal placements, I'd advise you to frequently check the Moon's transit and positions! Whenever it's the full or new moon, keep tabs on what happens those days and how you feel. Let me know in the comments anything interesting that's happened to yall during those times!

I've said this once and I'll say it again, Scorpio Mars are some of the most PERSISTENT people I've ever seen. When it comes to their desires, NOTHING stands in their way. However this can be detrimental if it's bad habits like drinking, smoking, stealing, ect. One way or another they will get what they want, even if it costs them everything. These people can truly be the victim of their own desires. Honorary mention- Taurus Mars.

Listen, if you ever need someone to promote your music, call an Aquarius Venus/Dominant person. I swear to god these people listen to the most obscure, outta pocket things I've ever heard.

Taurus 6th/5th housers tend to be those people at work that live by the slow and steady motto. They don't like to rush and do a sloppy job on whatever their working on.

On the other hand, Aries 6th/5th housers may be very fast workers, and it usually works well for them, works well under pressure. not the most thorough people but for the most part they get the job done.

People with a lot of Gemini and Leo placements in their chart tend to give off Aries energy.

Capricorn and Scorpio relationships are literally ride or die. I know a couple with many of these placements and they are so possessive of each other. Even after heated arguments and many hardships, they always come back together and work out their issues, it's really sweet!

When in an awkward situation, Libra Risings tend to try and break the tension first. Sometimes they can make the situation more awkward doing this but they're always the ones to bring the vibes back to the way they were, so I appreciate it. Gemini Risings may also do this but can be slightly more unhinged in their methods. I love both regardless for it😭💕.

The reason puberty for all of us hits hard is because it's around this time that Saturn is usually in the sign opposite from our Saturn sign. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it, itcchanges a lot of what we focus on and introduces us to new struggles. Although with Saturn retrograde, the age of which these changes can affect us can range from 13 all the way up to 25. Saturn is trying to toughen us up before we become adults.

What your Rising Sign's season is may be the season/months you prefer. For example, I'm a Sagittarius Rising and I tend to like late fall/early winter.

Your Moon sign can show how you process not just your emotions, but how you handle other peoples emotions, and how you relate to them. For example, a Leo Moon may relate to others by thinking of themselves in someone elses shoes, and how they would handle situations. While a Gemini Moon may relate other peoples emotions with stories from others that they've heard, and use what they've observed from other people to help others.

Venus PC Moon can also show this, I'd look at both sign's relationship to see the full picture of how one truly processes theirs and others emotions.

Moon/Pluto Aspects in someone's chart can show a relationship where however the mother treats the native, is how the native will end up treating her as they get older. For example, if the mother was negligent to the native in their younger years, then as they get older they will have a detached and impersonal attitude towards her. Basically the natives mirror how they were nurtured in youth.

"She say do you love me, I tell her only partly. I only love my bed and my mama I'm sorry." -Drake, a Cancer Moon.

People who say Gemini/Libra placements are indecisive have CLEARLY never met someone with many personal fire placements, especially if it's their top 3. Fire sign energy is naturally high and can be all over the place sometimes, this can include their thoughts and decision making as well, mostly concerning the direction of their passions and work. They may have a million ideas of what they're about to do but have trouble slowing down and planning it all out into managable chunks at a time. Will fight for what they want but may have trouble picking their battles wisely.

[renku]

Shared Bliss

Soloist Choi Yunjin (Jini) x Male Reader

[Part 1?]

A/N: I just feel releasing this short fic for some reason. Maybe it’s my impatient ass or something. Anyway, I truly enjoyed writing this one so I hope you enjoy it too. Let me know if you’re up for a 2nd part. Ideas are also welcome to my inbox! Good day to all!

To define the relationship you share with Jini is difficult, but to be bothered by such trivial things is a waste of time. People are going to think what they want at the end anyway.

Both of you possess the same traits; carefree, live-in-the-moment type of people, cherish, and spend the youth before it’s gone. No commitments. Feel the joy of life outside responsibilities and duties. Time waits for no man at all.

It started in the old fashion way—kicked off as high school peers that escalated until college. Ironic as it is sounds, met at the same company and now coworkers in the present. Same department, just different sections and ahead of her for a year. Taking into account Jini’s exaggerated storytelling (at least from your point of view) on why she left her previous job: the weight of just being there was unbearable. She said that she’d rather work as a waitress at a pub or something.

Sharing various moments with each other, there’s this bond and connection that felt exclusive and genuine. A safe space—comfort and no judgement. Romance? It doesn't cross your mind a bit and not would even dare to step into that unfamiliar realm.

Here’s the thing: random chances often come by to bring good things, chaos, or something in between the two. In your case, Lady Luck bestowed upon you the last one.

It was one Friday night—her occasional invites for dinner or plain drinking session are something you’ve become accustomed to. A fifteen-minute ride is all it takes. Not bad, better to spend the rest of the night outside than get bored alone.

“Still gets me,” you thought, looking at the front of her house. The amount of detail and work she put are remarkable. After a few steps, you pressed the doorbell.

“Oh, hey loser. Thought you wouldn’t come,” she said, “Just a sec. I’m coming.”

She did not even bother to ask who’s on the other side, like she don’t have any visitor besides you. After waiting for a few seconds, the door opened, and there she is—Jini in her off-shoulder dress with rose imprint.

Stunning... Captivating... Tempting.

Three words to describe the sight right before you, in flesh.

Her dress did its job flaunting her figure. Her presence that exude an intimidating aura—fierce, attitude, and boldness. One fierece look and she can make anyone kneel in a matter of seconds.

“Hey, loser. Hey!”

“What?” you replied, still in shock.

“You zoned out, are you okay?” Jini asked, you just shook your head a bit.

“Sure?”

“Yeah, yeah... Hundred percent.”

“Come in then, it’s freezing out here.”

Few common dishes and cans of beer were already placed on the table in the living room. “Not much, but that's a free meal. Besides, I’m not a bad cook,” she winked.

“Full of yourself sometimes, aren’t you?”

“I think the word ‘confident’ is what you’re looking for, mister.”

“Fine, fine... Let’s just eat,” you said, before sitting and opening a can of beer.

“Hah! I won!”

Throughout the meal, different topics fueled the flow of conversation. Some of them were about work, things in the past, gossips, funny, sad, and anything that comes into mind until all that's left on the table were the beers.

“A question,” said Jini, bringing seat closer so she can lean forward towards you across the table.

“Be my guest.”

“Did you ever think about having sex with me?”

Making a surprised reaction would not change the situation so you just answered her in a straightforward manner. “Yes, and if I'm being honest, I can’t stop thinking about it the moment I stepped inside this house. You’re so fucking hot in that dress.”

Maybe it’s the alcohol, or just courage that came out of nowhere but you still said it, and who gives a shit anymore?

Jini finished her remaining beer looking at you. She stood up, walked slowly and sat down on your lap.

“Is that true?” her focus shifted on your lips.

“Yes.”

A split second was it all took. She kissed you, and you responded accordingly bringing it to a make out session. Sloppy, wet, and warm. Jini pulled your head closer as her tongue joins the action and so are yours. It wasn’t a fight for dominance, but rather an exchange of intentions; something beyond words and better expressed through actions.

None of you can’t stop as your hand began an exploration of its own—the smoothness of the silk dress gave the impression of touching her bare skin.

Jini broke free; hazy, lust-filled eyes remained in contact with yours.

“Dress.”

“Not so fast, pervert. My house, my rules.”

“Playing tough?” you asked, raising both brows. “I’m born tough, loser. Now take that shirt off.”

“Okay, I’ll play along.”

You took your shirt off swiftly in one motion, revealing a body built for years. Astounded, it occured to her that this is the first time she saw you shirtless. Keeping the composure she displayed moments ago is crumbling.

“Happy?”

“Oh, shut up.”

She initiated the kiss again—on your neck going downwards, taking her time to taste your upper torso sending sending you into a frenzied state. Her tounge plays one of your nipples, while her finger does the other by means of making these circular motions, teasing you.

“Fuck.”

Jini’s dirty assault continues and not a word has had left her lips since. She’s acting like a predator aiming to completely devour her prey whole with no intention to stop until she’s satisfied.

“Let’s see what you pack down here,” she said, before pulling in one go your pants and underwear. Jini’s subtle gasp was still noticeable after seeing your cock.

“Well?”

“N- not b- bad...”

“Touch it.”

“Wh- what?”

“You heard me. Just do it.”

It was already erect, and Jini didn’t even hesitate to wrap her fingers around it—contact sent an electrifying feeling as she executed few, careful slow strokes. Unbelievable. It totally feels like the first time. Her jerking you off was overwhelming that precum is already leaking from the tip.

“Oh- oh, shit... That’s good!” you exclaimed, grip tightened on the arm rest of the chair. You don’t want to cum and if you’ll do so, it’s better to land it somewhere more interesting. Grabbing her arm lightly to halt her actions, caressing her face.

“Why?” Jini asked, her face blushed.

You just stared at her eyes, before brushing your thumb on her pinkish lips. She gets the hint and she knew it was going to happen anyway, sooner or later. She nodded as a ‘yes’.

Jini seemed to hold back a bit but she opened her mouth anyway, sticks her tongue out as she starts to lick one of your balls. Fucking hell. She attempted to put one in her mouth, drenched from her saliva. Jini gives a slow, long lick from the base of your dick going to its tip, tasting that precum still flowing. She takes time to know your proud member.

“Ahhh~ fuck, so good! Keep going!”

Hearing words of affirmation encouraged her even more as Jini started to give attention to your head. Putting it just inside her mouth made wonders—her tongue swirls around it and the sensation is driving you crazy. Unknowingly placed a hand on her head for support from the pleasure that travels around your body, trying not to get consumed by her actions.

Jini starts to take more by pushing herself with her tongue tracing the underside of your cock until she reache the limit—tip reached the back of her throat. Her gag reflex is evident as she holds on for a few seconds before releasing your cock with a pop. Jini catches her breath for a moment, still maintaining eye contact after what she just did.

You stood up while Jini is basically on her knees. No words were spoken at the heat of the moment.

You just position your cock right away in front of her mouth, slowly pushing the tip to enter once again and Jini willingly accepts.

Moving your hips backwards slowly until the glans remained inside, one thrust forward and from there the pace started to build up as you just basically facefuck Jini. Subtle, suggestive moans from her were signs she's enjoying it.

Lasting this long was quite a surprise as the inevitable first release of the night started to build up fast. Primal instinct took over you—faster thrusts, lewd and squelching sounds, moans of pleasure from both of you get louder and you knew holding back was impossible.

“Ji- Jini... fuck... I’m about to cum!”

One final thrust as spurts and ropes of cum went straight down to her throat, and Jini just swallowed everything. Some were escaping the sides of her lips. The high feeling of orgasm disappeared and you went back to your senses pulling out your cock.

“Yum.”

Jini catched her breath after what you just did. It took her a few minutes before returning to a more relaxed state.

She looked even more sexy; scooping the remaining cum using her finger, putting it back into her mouth.

One word and you knew the night is far from over.

“Should we head to my room? You can still fill me somewhere else, right?”

“Oh, you bet.”

[chefkids]

Wondering if you have any thoughts on the symbolism of “our mother of victory” line between the siblings. Not sure if it has any meaning behind just reflecting their (probably) catholic upbringing, but I don’t trust anything in this show to not have further meaning so wondering what smarter minds out there mean…

Our Mother of Victory, Pray for Us

The root of this is in the saying Our Lady of Victory, Pray for Us, which comes from a battle that the Catholics won against the Ottoman Turks. It is often used as a prayer before big event, Notre Dame football team says it before football games for good luck. Adding mother instead of Lady places their mother, Donna, in comparison to a literal Saint, the Virgin Mary. Which is ironic and part of their inside joke because as we know she is far from a Saint.

But I actually think this is a reference to a John Hughes movie called The Great Outdoors, a movie about bear attacks believe it or not. In the opening scene the say Our Lady of Victory, Pray for Us.

We already know Chris Storer has said Hughes movies are a big source of inspiration, specifically in season 2. He included songs from movies like Pretty in Pink, National Lampoons Vacation, and he even gave Kevin McCalliper McCallister from Home Alone a shout out.

Yes. Even more Bears and Fish. So bear with me.

The Great Outdoors is about a family from Chicago that goes on a trip to a cabin and the mother's sister and her husband, who they don't really get along with, invite themselves on the trip. At the start of the movie the dad tells them all a scary story about a man eating bear that he saw through the window and shot at but is still on the loose.

The Bear also starts off with a man going face to face with a bear. The bulk of the movie is about the two families not getting along, but by the end of it, the mythological bear appears and chases them into their cabin and attacks them, but they end up scaring it away and then they all get along and things work out between them.

The first Bear attack after their prayer was with Mikey and Donna

The second Bear attack was with Carmy

But this time, they were actually victorious. Because of Sydney. She managed to get the Bear away from them so they could keep going.

She is their miracle. Right before Sydney ever appeared there was a Virgin Mary figure. Sydney is always portrayed like Mary with light behind her, even with her hair always covered and in blue and white. Mikey is viewed as a Jesus like figure, he died so that they could all fix their sins and the restaurant. He is this ghostly figure whose memory is everywhere. Sydney and Mikey tied together, and she is the one that takes on his last words. Let it rip.

Carmy views Syd as a miracle, he could barely even look at her when he said it. Finding the money in the tomato cans was a miracle, it allowed her to come back and be with him. Her coming to work for him in the first place was a miracle, she came in at the perfect time when he needed her the most. Their Mother of Victory was not their mother at all, but Sydney.

[latexb0n3z]

Angry kiss?

The rain poured down in icy sheets, drenching the both of them as they stood in the muddy clearing. Logan’s claws were still out, gleaming under the faint light of a flickering lantern Wade had smashed earlier in a fit of anger. Around them, the wreckage of their mission lay scattered—crates of stolen mutant tech smashed open, a half-destroyed transport truck still burning in the distance, and a bloodied trail leading back to the facility they’d failed to infiltrate.

It had gone sideways fast. Wade, as usual, had ignored Logan’s plan to wait for a patrol to clear before making their move. Instead, he’d charged in guns blazing, only to get pinned down by heavily armed guards while Logan had to fight his way through to cover him. The mission was a bust, their intel lost, and Logan was nursing a bullet wound to his side that was healing slower than it should’ve.

“You’re a goddamn idiot, Wade,” Logan growled, his voice rough as gravel. “You never think! Never stop to ask if maybe—just maybe—you charging in headfirst isn’t the answer!”

“Oh, I’m the idiot?” Wade spat back, waving his hands dramatically. “Big bad Wolverine, always pretending like he’s got everything under control, but what’s your plan, huh? Growl at people until they stop shooting? Real tactical genius there, claws-for-brains.”

Logan’s fists clenched, his claws not daring to slide back into his knuckles. “You don’t listen to a goddamn word I say. You’re gonna get us both in a crock of horse shit one day!”

“And you’re gonna die cranky and alone!” Wade shot back, but his voice cracked ever so slightly on the last word. It was enough to make Logan pause, just for a second, his sharp eyes narrowing.

The silence that followed was suffocating. The rain kept falling, dripping from Logan’s hair and running in rivulets down Wade’s scarred face. Neither of them moved, the tension between them as heavy as the storm overhead.

Wade’s jaw worked, his usual flippant mask slipping for just a moment. “Look, I… I didn’t mean to screw things up. I just—”

“Shut up,” Logan muttered, stepping closer, his boots squelching in the mud. Wade expected him to start stabbing like he usually does, punch him- beat him- start another bloody brawl that would end with neither of them dying and just being exhausted.

Wade blinked. “Wow, that’s real mature—”

“I said, shut up,” Logan growled again, and before Wade could finish his retort, Logan’s hand shot out, grabbing the front of his suit and yanking him forward.

Their mouths crashed together, hard and desperate, hot and wet as the rain showered their already wet bodies. It was kind of kiss that felt more like a fight than an apology or reconciliation. Logan’s grip on Wade’s suit was iron-tight, fisting the red leather so tight his knuckles turned white, barely careful not to cut Wade with his claws. Wade’s hands hovered for a moment, unsure, before settling on Logan’s shoulders. Logan had to tip toe to make contact with him, and Wade had to hunch over just slightly to meet the height difference. It was more so that he’d been pulled, rather than willingly bent over.

It wasn’t soft, and it wasn’t clean. Their teeth clashed, and Wade tasted blood—his own or Logan’s, he wasn’t sure—but none of it mattered. All the anger, the frustration, the unspoken emotions that had been building between them spilled out in that moment, raw and unfiltered. Logan gripped, and felt him up with fervor, shivering with anger, and the cold- and… lust.

When they finally broke apart, both of them were breathing hard, the rain washing away the blood and dirt from their faces. Wade’s wide, unblinking stare met Logan’s, who looked equally stunned by what had just happened.

“Okay,” Wade said finally, his voice hoarse. “That was… something. Not that I’m complaining—love a good ‘shut up’ kiss—but maybe next time we skip the punching and go straight to the—”

Logan cut him off with a low growl, his lips twitching in the barest hint of a smirk. “Don’t push your luck, Wade.”

Wade grinned, and for the first time all night, it felt real. “Too late, bub.”

And just like that, the tension broke, leaving behind something softer, something unspoken but understood.

[sunnys-out]

Your damn cherry chapstick | Alex Morgan

a/n: from this prompt list. Let's pretend that voicemails can actually be this long lol.

Prompt Request: 10. I still remember how you taste...

Warnings: Implied Smut, MDNI, cursing, alcohol

Word Count: 573

Part 2 here

You have one new message

“God, I shouldn't even be doing this, fuck, how long since we talked talked?... I shouldn’t have had that stupid fucking wine... Fuck, like it matters, you probably are going to delete this once you see it’s from me…I’m not here to say congrats on marrying Servando…nah you know that’s not very me.”

Pause

“I regret introducing you to Servando, I really do…I would’ve been the one dancing with you at that Gala. I was just sitting there drinking away at that cheap ass, champagne they gave us and overlooking the campus while you were having the time of your life.”

Pause

“Funny, he looked so happy having you in his arms that day when not even hours before I was in between your legs, Morgan. I thought I had you back completely but you broke up whatever we had and went running to him once we got to the end of the year Gala for Cal Soccer”

Pause

“Do you remember that last time? You showed up at my apartment after skipping your Philosophy lecture wanting to “see me again” after ignoring me for weeks because you were with Servando. Hell, talking lasted 6 minutes before you pushed me against the wall begging me to kiss you…”

“I still remember how you taste, Alex…even the taste of your damn, cherry, chapstick. The sounds you made for me then are ingrained in my head...God, I’ll never forget. The way that it was all because of me and I was the only one who could make you feel that way… you said it yourself. Fuck, I wouldn’t have let you go that morning if I had known it was the last time; maybe things would have been different.”

Pause

“Nah, you knew what you were doing. It was just a fucking goodbye, wasn’t it? Got my hopes up and just broke it the moment you saw Servando?!? Fuck, Alex, you know what, I’m glad I had that career-ending injury in  Portland, I saved myself all that time pining over you, wishing to have your back…”

Pause

“That sounded pathetic of me…’I still remember how you taste, Alex’ like that isn't the sound of pining over someone. Hell, you wouldn’t have said the same for me maybe because I didn’t let you…I was just happy tasting you and having you all to myself.”

Pause

“You know Servando actually texted me asking me if I wanted to be invited to the wedding. Said that I slipped through the cracks in planning…Funny, wonder if that was intentional on your part, babe. Afraid that you’ll leave Servando immediately if you see me. I mean you did that but to me back all those years ago…why wouldn’t you do it again?”...Anyways, Sev, pushed the idea that I give a speech of how I introduced you two…I declined of course…said I was busy.  

Pause 

“Is it cocky for me to assume I was the best you ever have? Probably… Anyways good luck on this marriage thing. Tell Servando that his ass should be happy that I introduced him to “the love of his life”. I hope you remember me the way that I remember you, I love you Alex Morgan, I’ve always had…it’d be ironic if I said don’t be a stranger because you do that all on your own…”

“Don’t you dare text me…I swear to God, Alex Morgan”

End of Message

[findingnemosworld]

𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 - 𝐫𝐮́𝐛𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐬

• 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 ( 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐦 𝐢 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨?

[ 𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 ]

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐚𝐦 𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐮𝐛𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝? 𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬, 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲.

previously on 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫

a few kisses later, they adjusted themselves ready to sneak out when all of a sudden they hear their names uttered with a confused tone, causing them to turn around simultaneously to find bernando standing there with a confused expression, " what -uh- .. . what is this? "

the pair stand there dumbfounded, as they are finally coming face to face with the consequence of keeping their affair a secret, now they had no choice but to admit everything.

______________________________________________________________

( now )

" you're dating him!! since when? "

to say that bernando was seething would be an understatement, he had never truly cared for rúben's dating habits, knowing well enough that it was his preference and his preference alone - yet the last thing he expected was for rúben to after her, his sister. " i ... this can't be happening " he mutters.

" nando, calm down please " ines sighs.

" no! " bernando interjects. " how can i be calm when my best friend was sleeping with my baby sister? "

ines rolls her eyes, " your baby sister is no longer a baby "

" ha! good luck getting that through his thick head " she murmurs under her breath.

bernando shot her a deadly glare, " i can’t let this relationship continue "

" nando, for the love of god she’s a grown up and rúben loves her " ines said.

" he doesn’t know a damn thing about love ines, have you not seen his past flings? " bernando said.

" ironic that you’re talking since before ines you weren’t exactly a saint " she retorts.

ines shot her a glare, silently asking her to remain quiet as she turned to her husband and said. " nando, listen … your sister, she’s not a kid anymore, she’s in her twenties and is responsible for her decision, plus the way i see it, rúben seems like he cares about her "

" no … i won’t be convinced no matter what you say " bernando ststes then turns to his sister, " if you love me, you’ll end it with rúben, because i will not sit here and watch him toy with you then throw you like you were nothing to him "

" you’re joking? do i look sixteen to you? i love rúben and so does he " she said.

" either you break it off or you’ll lose your brother " bernando said.

ines gasps, " nando what are you doing? you can’t do this to her "

" i can, when it comes to my sister, i can so … " bernando turns to her, " what will be your pick? "

her eyes gloss as she observed the determination in bernando’s eyes, " i … " she couldn’t even speak as she stormed out of their house.

ines tried to stop her yet failed to, she then turned to bernando. " i cannot believe you, she’s not a child, she’s a grown up " she cried.

" ines you don’t know rúben, ever since things ended with april, he hasn’t been the same — he sees women as a mere way to pass time and i won’t let my sister become a notch on that belt of his " bernando states.

ines sighs, she reached for her phone to try and call her yet to no avail, she just hoped that she won’t do anything stupid, and boy was she in for a treat.

that night, rúben was in his kitchen when the sound of the doorbell interrupted his train of his thoughts, confused — he made his way to the door to check; with a broad smile, he opens the door and was about to greet her with a kiss when he noticed her dejected expression. " meu amor " he whispers.

" i’m sorry " was all she could whisper as she embraced him, " i’m sorry, i’m sorry … "

to say he was confused would be an understatement, he shuts the door then leads her into the kitchen while she continued to sob quietly — he grabs a glass and fills it with water then hands it to her. " what’s wrong baby? "

once she was able to calm down and even her breath, " rúbes, i’m … i’m sorry "

" for what? why are you apologizing? " rúben was both confused and concerned over her.

she inhaled then exhaled before she blurted out, " we need to break up! "

his eyes widen, " pardon? " he whispers.

" i’ve fallen out of love with you " she said with a shaky voice. " so … we need to save ourselves and end this "

he chuckles dryly, " you can’t be serious "

" i am … i’m sorry rúben " she whispers with glossy eyes, " i’m really sorry "

before he can even manage a response, he watches with an aching heart as she departed his home that night, signifying the very end to their love story, the love he knew he wouldn’t feel again with anyone.

_

since that night, things have shifted yet not to a brighter note — rúben’s performance on the pitch had seemingly declined, so much so that he’d begun getting subbed off at halftime, often times not even considered for a match; if he did, he’d end up either fighting a player or violently arguing with an official much to the dismay of pep who had given him a few weeks off to sort himself out.

suffice to say, that didn’t work as well.

he had shifted into a completely other person which arose concern in his teammates, john had brought it up during training, " have you guys noticed how off rúben has been? "

jack shrugs, " not really, he seems normal to me "

erling rolls his eyes, " you barely notice anything " he then turned to john. " what do you think happened? "

john remained silent before his eyes widen, " he must have split from that girl he said he was into? "

kevin raised a brow, " i think i’ve heard him a few times talking to her, whoever she is, he was definitely in love "

as the players conversed, bernando overheard them and frowned — could it be …? no, no. this is for the best, my sister deserves better, he shakes the negative thoughts away from his head.

during break, bernando received a message from ines, it was a candid photo of his sister who was laughing with his mother as the women were having lunch together, he smiled for a brief moment until he noticed what ines had written underneath.

i heard her crying before we sat down for lunch, figured you’d like to know 🙂

his smile falls immediately, he zooms in on the photo, noting how dejected and worn out her eyes were despite laughing alongside their mother, he shut his phone then let out a ponderous sigh just as jack sat across from him. " you alright bernando? "

" yeah i … — " bernando hesitated before shaking his head. " no, i’m not "

" i don’t suppose it has something to do with rúben and your sister " jack remarked.

" how did you …? " bernando raised a brow.

" i’m not a damn bonehead as everyone thinks i am " jack chuckles. " plus rúben didn’t exactly hide the fact that he was in love, he had her picture as his lock screen "

bernando was bemused as he said. " i don’t know if i did the right thing "

" what do you mean? " jack wonders.

" it’s complicated, let’s just say i made a mistake " bernando sighs.

that night, as bernando returned home — he walked in to find ines in the kitchen yet his sister was no where in sight, " ines, where is she? "

ines didn’t look at him, " she’s asleep, she said she didn’t want to eat "

bernando sighs, " this is the sixth time she skips dinner "

ines sighs, " i wonder why? "

bernando covers his his face, " i don’t know … i mean this is the right thing, ok? my sister deserves better "

ines turns to her husband and says, " did you ever stop to think that rúben is her better, that he’s the one for her "

"wh— no, no way? " bernando shakes his head. " you’re not serious … "

" no i’m serious because if you would have gotten your head out of your ass " ines said with an incredulous tone, " you’d see that she was actually very happy around him, and vice versa "

" how would you know? i know rúben " bernando said with a defensive tone.

" no bernando, you do not know rúben " ines said with a sigh, " you think you do but you don’t and from the looks of it you do not even know your sister "

bernando sighs, his heart twinging from the guilt he felt — " what should i do? "

" go and talk to her " ines said.

bernando was conflicted, he then decided to walk towards the guest bedroom, where he heard the strums of the guitar followed by her angelic voice singing, he hesitated the knocked on the door, and waited until a soft ' come in ' from the other side , he pushed the door open. " irmã ? " he said.

she musters up a weak smile, " hey "

he couldn’t even smile back, " are you … are you ok? "

she nods, " mhm … i’m working on a new song, how was training? "

he couldn’t believe just how detached she was, " i … it was good, we’re ready for the upcoming match "

" how’s erm … how’s everyone there? " she asked.

" everyone is good " he responded before adding, " but erm … he wasn’t there "

she nodded, " ok "

a wave of uncomfortable silence fell between them before he decided to break it, " are you ok? "

she forced a smile on her lips and nodded at his inquiry, " don’t worry nando, i’m perfectly fine "

" then why don’t you go out and eat with us? " he suggests with a soft tone.

she smiles, " i am not hungry nando, and plus you and ines need all the alone time you can get "

he sighs, " irmã … "

she raised her hand, then replied with a soft tone, " don’t worry, ok "

he nods, then stands up. " if you change your mind we’ll wait "

she nods then hums before returning back to songwriting, " ok "

bernando was devastated to say the least, the weight of his actions finally registering after the interaction he had with his sister causing him to make the decision of visiting rúben the very next day given that pep had given them the day off to rest.

_

bernando knocks on his front door — around five minutes later, the door opens to reveal a disheveled rúben, with his stubble crossing on to become a full beard and his hair unkempt, his eyes were bloodshot evidently from crying and the lack of sleep, " bro, what the hell is wrong with you? "

" i … uh … " rúben scrambled to find a reasonable cause before shrugging. " i lost her, i lost her " he whispers.

" you love her? " bernando asks with a surprised expression as he enters to come face to face with a messy flat.

" you probably wouldn’t believe me " rúben said with a sad smile. " but she's the first girl i’ve ever truly loved and still love "

bernando grows silent then says, " let’s just … " he sighs, " go to the bathroom and shower while i clean the flat "

" oh no … no " he shakes his head then adds on, " you’re not gonna do that "

" rúben, please … just go clean up " bernando interjects.

he grows silent then says, " alright "

bernando watched as rúben disappeared into his living room; then, he pulls his cellphone out then dials her number — " hey, i … i need to see you, i’m at rúben’s house, ok, i’ll wait for you "

around an hour later, rúben steps out feeling much more refreshed and it was then that his nostrils picked up the scent of fresh cooked food, a contrast to the disastrous junk food he was gobbling. but what captured his attention was the familiar soft voice, he froze in place —unsure whether he was imagining things or if she was really there.

he saunters outside of his bedroom and peers into the kitchen; indeed, there she was standing with bernando, being the first to notice him beamed — " hey bro, i figured we can all sit down and eat "

he stood there speechless as bernando set the table up while she stood there awkwardly, once the trio sat down together, bernando deciding to be the first one to speak. " i guess we gotta confront the elephant in the room "

she raised her brow, " nando? "

" irmã " bernando interjects, " let me finish, i … ever since you were a little girl, i had always dreamt of becoming a dad and taking care you was the closest thing i had to experience it , that’s why i’ve been harsh with you but i love you, so much that i never saw anyone worthy of my baby sister’s love until … rúben "

he sat there shocked by bernando’s words.

" nando? " she tries again.

" let me finish please " bernando said, with a shaky voice. " i’ll admit, i’ve been suffocating you this entire time thinking i was doing the right thing when in reality, i broke the hearts of two people who love each other "

she looks at rúben who was as equally as emotional as she was.

" it took me seeing you two so distressed to realize my wrong doings so … " bernando sighs. " if you really love each other, then i will not stand in the way, but " he turns to rúben. " if you break her heart, i don’t care what club we play for, i’ll hurt you "

he chuckles, " i know "

bernando then turns to her. " i’m sorry for suffocating you, for not letting you live your life and for having you secretly chase your love, i hope you can forgive me "

she embraced bernando and sobbed, " i can never be mad at you nando " she then turned to rúben and said. " i’m sorry rúben "

" it’s ok meu amor, i’m not mad " he smiles.

bernando smiles at the sight before him, " you two deserve each other and …. the first child better be named after me "

she laughs, " don’t worry, you and ines will be the godparents "

it was then that bernando realized, watching the love radiating from his sister and rúben that despite the pain and hardships, true love triumphs.

[genericpuff]

Genuinely I would give anything to hear your thoughts or read more critical analysis of yours on other webcomics writing (*slides you Marionetta* I like the webtoon but there are some things in the writing that I'd like to see be discussed critically more often but the fandom focuses way too much on shipping. sighs..)

Anyway, you probably have been asked this before but are there any webtoons in particular you would recommend? :D

Oh lord, you don't know how many times a week I get asks in my inbox asking for my opinions on webtoons they're reading. It's really sweet that people wanna hear me talk about other works outside of LO, but unfortunately I just don't have the time to read as much as I used to, even keeping up on LO lately is getting really difficult 😅 I'm definitely keeping a list though of works to check out!

That said, I try not to read series on the basis of criticizing them because frankly I just... don't want to spend time reading something if people are only looking for me to rag on it? 😆 Of course I know that's not the only reason, I know there's also just the element of seeing me talk extensively about other works the way that I do with LO, but it's not really something I can turn on and off like that, I have to get really into a series to want to talk about it to that extent. So it often comes down to just luck of the draw :'0

Right now the series I'm keeping up the most on (or have completed and would absolutely 100% re-read):

Alfie (18+, it's porn with plot but the plot is REALLY GOOD , I SWEAR LMAO the art is gorgeous, the characterization is IMMACULATE, and it ironically tackles the subject of purity culture way better than LO ever has lol)

Theia Mania (the creator is often in my comment section / neck of the woods, she's been working on an Abduction of Persephone retelling for a long while now and has also tackled other myth retellings in her style! I always love seeing new pages of her work in my feed :' ) <3)

Tales from Alderwood (if you like fantasy and comedy, this one's great, the plot's really starting to get interesting and it's just got this really great sense of humor about it)

The Black Parade (this one's REALLY interesting, it's a comic-stylized version of My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade, using the songs as narration and sometimes even dialogue to tell a visual story, it's really cool and the art matches beautifully with the lyrics and style of MCR!)

A Tale of Two Rulers (this is a Legend of Zelda fancomic that poses the question, "What if Zelda and Ganondorf got married to solve their political crisis?" It updates a lot slower than most of the other comics I follow but the art and writing is so worth it <3)

Dogs of Future Past (and p much all of Lynx's Undertale comics which can be found in the link, seriously, THESE are the comics you wanna read if you wanna get into Undertale fanworks, they are PEAK)

Tamberlane (this one's an anthro comic, I normally don't read anthro but this one actually gripped me by the throat, the art is gorgeous and the character arcs so far have been great!)

The Mafia Nanny (okay it's legit so funny that I'm including this one here but I've been reading it the last couple days after seeing it basically beat out LO at the top of the trending tab for a couple days, so I figured I'd give it a shot, at first I was like "great more tropey shit" but the more I read it the more it's actually started to get pretty good, I'm holding out and hoping to god it stays that way LOL it's not especially deep or anything like that, but it's really fun and cute to read and the shipping of the main character within the narrative isn't too self-absorbed which I can always appreciate, I'd honestly be 100% fine with it if it didn't turn into a romance)

City of Blank (I talk about this one a lot here, but it's one of my favorite Originals right now, the art is super polished and the writing has gotten INTENSE, go check it out if you want some fun action / sci-fi storytelling!)

Time and Time Again (a time-travelling vampire and his werewolf boyfriend get into all kinds of misadventures, what more could you ask for?)

Touch of Divinity (like the Mafia Nanny, this is one I just started reading, it's got a very interesting premise so far and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes!)

[puppyluvfics]

Shallow | O.de/Oh Seungmin

O.de/Oh Seungmin | part of Not In The Same Way: MTL Series WC: 1.3k Genre: Angst/Smut(?) Summary: You loved Seungmin. You did. Yet, somewhere in that love, you lost yourself, turning into a mirror image of him, which is something you grew to hate. Warnings: there's like... slight smut? It's skippable if you want it to be, but it's there. A/N: THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG I FORGOT TO HIT PUBLISH FHDSJKFS SORRY. Also: the smut part of this... maybe I will expand on one day (no promises) because. mmm hatefucking <3 OK SORRY GOOD LUCK OSEUMI LOVERS

“I… Listen. I loved you. And maybe, deep down, there’s a part of me that still does. But that part of me is so lost… it isn’t fair to me and it isn’t fair to you. I’ll see you around, okay? Take care of yourself.”

Seungmin’s world felt like it was crumbling. Everything had seemed just fine, this morning. Right…? He felt blindsided, and frankly, incredibly hurt. He looked back into your eyes, and God, it stung. What was once a gaze of adoration and love had been replaced with confusion and pain.

“What are you even saying, (Y/N)? We’re a team, we’re… we’re us. What happened to that?”

You sigh heavily, sitting on the arm of the couch, running your hands over your face.

“That’s the thing, Seungmin. We… I’m not myself anymore. I’m you. I don’t even know who I am outside of being with you anymore, and that scares me.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, cautious about what you were saying.

“So, what? You’re just going to throw away everything we have and everything we are just because you’re having an identity crisis? You don’t think that’s a little unfair to me? I’m supposed to be your boyfriend, I’m supposed to help you through shit like this!” He said, raising his voice only a bit. He wasn’t yelling at you. Far from it. But he was so damn frustrated, and you could tell. Still, his words cut, deep.

“I’m not throwing anything away! But it isn’t fair to me, either! I wake up and I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize that person!” You retort, matching his volume.

He lets out a sound, a mix between a sigh and a scoff.

“Nice. Real nice, (Y/N). Being like me is so damn bad that you’d rather throw this away than try to work through it with me by your side.” He said, eerily calm, clearly extremely hurt, despite misinterpreting your words.

“You’re putting words in my mouth, Seungmin. Stop it. I didn’t say that. I’m…” You sigh again, exhausted from the arguing. “I’m not doing this to be selfish, I’m doing this for us, don’t you understand that? You deserve someone who compliments you, not a carbon copy of you. And that’s what I’ve turned into.” You spoke slowly, trying to make him understand.

“Well, there’s one thing that you didn’t copy from me. You’re so goddamn self centered and shallow.” He said, his tone biting. You know he didn’t really mean it, that he was just lashing out in anger but, fuck, that hurt more than anything you could ever muster up to say to him.

“Seungmin, what the fuck?” Your voice comes out hushed, small, and hurt.

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” He said, realizing the extent of the damage he’d done. You huff, standing up, pushing past him to the door. 

“I’ll see you around, Seungmin.” You said, leaving those being the last words you said to him, for a good while.

~~~

Not a long enough while, though. It hadn’t been more than a week before you had bumped into him while you were out with some friends, ironically, trying to drink away the thoughts of him. You had debated calling him before this, over and over again, but you stayed strong. Still, there you stood, your feet aching in the heels you’d squeezed them into, your eyes fixated on his figure, standing on the opposite end of the bar, waiting for his drink. 

“Please, please do not let him be here with someone else,” You thought to yourself. You were the one who had broken up with him, sure, but still, it had only been a week or so. You stayed by your friends, just observing him for the duration of a song or two, releasing a held breath when you realized that he was here alone. Did you want to walk over to him? You were the one who left him, after all. And it was messy to say the least. You knew you would hate yourself for it later, but you walked over to him, sitting next to him, clearing your throat to make your presence known. 

He turned to look at you, his eyes widening. He didn’t know what shocked him more - the fact you were sitting there next to him, or the fact you were showing a good amount of skin in what you had worn. 

“Hey.” You said, quietly. 

“Hey…” He replied, just as quietly. 

~~~

You didn’t know how it happened. Multiple drinks and hours later, he and you were drunkenly stumbling through your once shared apartment, leaving filthy, needy kisses all over each other. Your lips had attached to his neck, leaving dark red hickeys and bites all over him, all the while his hands found their way down to your hips, pressing hard into your skin. A few more steps and you found yourself bent over the arm of the couch - the same couch you had sat on and argued with him less than a week ago. It didn’t matter to you now, though. All that mattered was him, the feeling of his hands on you, the feeling of your skirt getting hiked up and your strapless top getting yanked down. The feeling of him pushing your head down into the couch as he fucked you from behind. You couldn’t consider it hate fucking, neither of you hated each other. Hell, maybe you were right, maybe you did hold love for him still, somewhere deep inside you. Probably as deep as his cock was hitting, if you were being honest with yourself. 

It wasn’t until a little after 3am that the two of you had both tapped out, breathing heavily on the couch. You were laying in his arms, something that hadn’t happened in a while, even when you were together. His chest rose and fell in tandem with yours, but what you didn’t know was that while you laid there blissed out, sweaty and on cloud nine, brainless, he laid there thinking. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the sex, of course he did. So, it came as a shock, even to him, when he spoke. 

“You should go.” He said, quietly, stoic. 

“What?” You asked, immediately hurt. Sure, this wasn’t hate sex, but wasn’t it make up sex?

“I… (Y/N), this was…” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word mistake. He didn’t see it like that. He never did before, and that hadn’t changed. He simply sighed, letting his arms fall away from you. “I’m sorry.” He said, hoarsely. You could tell this was just as hard for him as it was you, but that didn’t exactly make you feel better in this moment. You nodded, fighting your own emotional breakdown, pulling your clothes back on as best as you could given your sweaty, sticky state. You said nothing as you walked to the door, despite wanting to say so much. Anything, really.

The fact of the matter was, he had changed just as much as you had… you were quite literally two halves of a whole, but that whole was now shattered beyond repair. You weren’t just him, you were you and he was him. Together you were the best and worst of each other. But there was nothing you could do or say, now. You had made your bed, and now you had to lie in it, alone. Maybe, in another timeline, things would have worked out and you would have realized that he was right - you were being self-centered and shallow. At least you got what you wanted… now you had no choice but to figure out who you were, without him.

CHOOSE ANOTHER MEMBER HERE

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LISTEN TO THE SONG THAT INSPIRED THIS, BELOW

[infiniteinquiries]

♡ Coffee shop au in which ellie is a barista and knows you like her so she keeps making you increasingly terrible drinks to see how far she can push you ♡

pt. 4

pt. 1 // pt. 2 // pt. 3

Ellie froze. She had been caught red-handed. A beat passed before she brushed off your confronting remark. She subconsciously raised her chin, trying her damndest to look unfazed.

"Well, I had to make sure a pretty girl like you wasn't coming back for the flavor profile..." she replied smugly, looking you up and down in the least subtle manner.

She watched as your cheeks burned red. Now you were the one standing there dumbfounded. Ellie wasn't sure why you were surprised, she knew what game you'd been playing. What she hadn't been expecting was your next quip.

"Oh yeah? You caught me. Now how are you gonna pay me back for passing your tests?"

Ellie blinked at you in honest awe of your boldness. She tried her best to control the conversation again.

"Hm. That's fair. How about I give you my number and the best Americano in town and we call it even? The first one is hard to come by, ya know." Ellie smirked wildly, quite satisfied with herself.

She watched your eyes widen in disbelief. Few girls had gotten this far, usually her attitude ran them off by now. Soon after, her eyes trailed your hand as it came up to your chin, tapping it in dramatized thought. You even tapped your foot for ironic effect, Ellie noted.

"Hmmm, deal." You nodded, firm in your agreement. Ellie shook her head and giggled, a genuine girlish laugh escaping her lips. You were something else.

"Come 'ere," she said in a warm smiling tone, "get it tattooed or something, can't have you losing it." She scribbled her number on the back of your hand, the last number slightly smearing in blue ink.

Ellie felt her heart flutter at the stupidly wide grin on your face. It surprised her. Was she really simping this hard right now?

"So uh...are you gonna make that Americano then?" You snorted, averting her gaze and rolling your eyes trying not to laugh. This girl was such a fuckboy it was ridiculous.

"Sure thing, sweetheart. I promise you it'll be the best you've ever had." Ellie replied suggestively. You knew she wasn't just talking about the dark roast.

"We'll see about that," you looked up over your browbone at her like it was a challenge.

Ellie purposely ignored you, wanting to leave you wanting more. She couldn't enable you too much, that was no fun.

She felt your eyes watching her every move as she once again worked the espresso machine with ease. Muscular arms darting between stations, strong shoulders lifting each implement and handle like it was second nature (it was).

She took real joy in her physique, as were you apparently, she mused when she caught you staring.

"I hope you like this as much as you like what you see." Ellie chuckled boyishly.

Here you were again, cheeks flushing. She was hoping to catch you off guard.

Instead of setting the drink on the counter this time, she made sure to slowly pass it directly into your hands, taking just a beat too long to finish the transfer. You cupped the warm beverage between your palms.

You made sure to make eye contact with Ellie as you took your first error-free sip from the roastery. Ellie watched you with intensity, genuinely hoping that she'd blow you away. This time, she was trying to impress you.

The taste of warm cinnamon and rich espresso flooded your senses in a way you could hardly describe. Ellie was right, this was the best damn cup of coffee you'd ever had. It kind of made you angry, in a way.

As you removed the cup from your lips, you paused, blinking slowly.

"Ellie, are you fucking kidding me? I missed out on this for three weeks?" You're tone was dripping with frustration.

She was hoping you would gloss over that now that you had something genuinely good in your hand, but no such luck.

"Well, I suppose your pretty face will be back then?" She chuckled, looking away.

"Ellie, how could I stay away?"

--

Tags: @vgnoxi @bunkisses4u @lovergirlism @radioheadfan699

[thewholekittyandkaboodle]

Day 2 Savior

'Diana…!'

Akko's weak voice echoed through Diana's mind while Akko herself laid motionless on a sterile hospital bed. They were both incredibly lucky to have avoided the worst outcome today. Neither of them could have truly been prepared for how everything could suddenly go wrong.

Lotte and Sucy had gone into town to get some potion ingredients for a class project and Akko had told them she was going to meet them in town later. She said she wanted to go to the outskirts of Blytonbury to practice flying by herself for a bit. Diana didn't mean to eavesdrop on that conversation, she really didn't. After being unable to even leave the ground on her own for so long, could Diana blame Akko for being over the moon for having finally lifted off on her own? Ever since then she had been practicing flying every chance she got. The small victory only strengthened her drive to master flight. Diana didn't want to make Akko feel coddled, not when Akko felt she was so close to her dream of soaring through the air like a splendid witch. Still, Diana just couldn't shake the feeling that something could go terribly wrong. After all, as much as Akko accomplished she was still the most accident prone witch in the school. Just last week she nearly flooded the school after miscasting a teleportation spell, Scintalia, in the bathrooms. It couldn't hurt if Diana happened to be there in case something went wrong. She could come up with an excuse if Akko noticed she was following her out of town. Admittedly, that didn't take long.

"Diana?" Akko inquired. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

Diana found herself akin to a deer in headlights, ironic considering her namesake.

"I-I'm…here to get ingredients for the upcoming potion assignment." Diana suddenly blurted out.

"Really? There's things that can be used in potions right outside of Blytonbury?"

"O-Of course! I-I can even show you if you would like!" Neither of which were a lie, Diana might have omitted her true intentions for coming here, but there were a number of previously extinct magic plant species that had sprung up in the area thanks to the revitalization of magic in the world.

"Really? Thanks so much Diana!" Without a second thought Akko hugged her. Diana's mind went completely blank. Despite herself, all she could think about was how soothing it was in Akko's arms. It came to a halt when Akko suddenly pulled back.

"Sorry, I got a little excited." Regaining her focus, Diana finally noticed that Akko's face had turned a bright shade of red.

"Are you feeling well? Your face is awfully flushed." Diana reached out her hand to feel Akko's forehead, but Akko hopped backwards.

"Oh yeah, I'm totally fine! Honest!" Akko hid her face as she abruptly ran off.

"I'll meet back up with you in a bit! Good luck getting ingredients for your team's assignment!" Akko was quickly out of Diana's sight. Diana hoped Akko didn't run off because she was upset that she followed her to her training session and was trying to hide it to spare Diana's feelings. Diana silently promised herself that if she had offended Akko she would make it up to her as soon as they met back up. Maybe she could treat her to ice cream, Akko seemed to like that ice cream parlor somewhere in town. Come to think of it, she'd never been there herself. She should probably get some directions to the place first, maybe get some napkins too in case of an ice cream spill…

"Diana?!" Diana snapped back to reality hearing Akko's panicked voice.

"Hold on Diana! I'm coming!" Akko's shouts were getting more distant.

"Akko?" Akko didn't seem to hear her, her shouts calling out Diana's name got farther and farther from town, from anyone that could hear her. Diana felt chilled to her core as she rushed after her.

"Akko! I'm right here! Where are you?!" Diana desperately cried. No one responded. No matter where she looked, Akko was gone. Diana couldn't accept this, there had to have been a clue somewhere! Then she found something, Akko's shoes left some prints in the dirt. She took off after them immediately. She came into another dead end when the tracks suddenly stopped. Or maybe…they were being hidden…She drew her wand.

"Illumina!" With a flick of her wand, her fears were proven correct. Illumina countered the cloaking spell that was concealing a magic forcefield. Diana could finally see inside. Akko was desperately kicking against two massive eagle-like birds pinning her to the ground. Standing over her was a scruffy looking woman wearing a weathered green cloak. Diana drew her wand again.

"Murowa!" Diana shouted.

The magic bolts she summoned fizzled uselessly against the barrier. Nobody inside reacted to her attempt to break in either. The barrier must be soundproofed on the inside.

"Careful now dearies." The woman cooed at the massive birds of prey.

"Don't bang up the kid too much. After all, it's much easier to extract memories from a healthy victim's brain." Akko glared up at the woman.

"What did you do to Diana?!" Akko demanded. The woman let out a hearty chuckle.

"Aww, did you hear little Beatrix Jr. cry for help? I'm afraid my little pets have no manners, so things get a little hairy when they sink their talons a little too much into their catch." Akko's eyes widened in horror.

"No!" Akko caught the birds off guard with her angry pushback and it finally gave her some wiggle room against them.

"I swear, if you've hurt one hair on her head-" Her attacker's boot dove into the ground mere inches from her face.

"I have no real reason to hurt the Cavendish girl. That is, unless you give me a reason to." Akko froze.

"What do you want from me?" Akko gulped. In turn her attacker reached into a pocket inside her verdant cloak.

"Oh, I'm not asking much. Thanks to the wonders of magic and science it's now possible to create wands that can mimic the properties of even the most infamous and powerful ones mankind has ever known. The only catch is that one who seeks to make such a wand needs to have the memories of someone who wielded it at one point. You see as the previous wielder of the legendary 'Shiny Rod', as you call it, you're the last component necessary. It'll never be as potent as the real thing, but even a fraction of its power is enough to accomplish feats no witch could ever dream of."

Diana eyed the black vial the witch took from her pocket and her blood turned cold.

"You don't need to do anything but lay back. With just a drop of this potion you'll be in a magic made stasis. You won't feel any pain or need sustenance to stay alive. In essence, your aging and biological processes will freeze in time. It'll make this much easier for both of us." The woman said as she towered over Akko. Diana frantically kept firing every spell she could think of against the barrier blocking her from running to Akko's side. Each spell proved fruitless. After unscrewing the cork, the assailant pried Akko's mouth to pour in the contents of the vial. Akko bit the woman on the hand and she jerked back in pain before she spilled a single drop.

"I'll only cooperate with you if you let Diana go!" Akko spat at her face for good measure.

"Fine by me." the woman coldy replied. The woman drew a wand from her coat and waved it to show Akko what appeared to be a vision of Diana asleep at her dorm. Diana recognized she was showing Akko an illusion. She probably used illusion magic to mimic Diana's voice earlier too.

"See? She's back at your precious Luna Nova safe and sound." Diana gave up on spells and started banging her fists against the forcefield, desperately trying to get Akko's attention, to stop her from throwing her life away. Akko none the wiser sighed in relief believing that Diana was safe. She turned to look her attacker in the eye.

"…Okay, you can take me. Just don't drag Diana into this."

As time was rapidly running out Diana internally pleaded with her ancestors for a miracle. She would give anything to take Akko's place, to get to Akko before it was too late.

"You have my word Miss Savior of Magic, Diana will be spared."

Diana blinked as she remembered a spell that could help her get to Akko, but she had to work fast.

"…I'll drink it."

Accepting her fate, Akko put her lips to the bottle and swallowed the black concoction even as she gagged at the taste. She struggled to keep her eyes open as the effects of the potion were already taking over her.

"Scintalia!" With a resolute shout and a big burst of light Diana warped inside the impenetrable force field and tackled the green cloaked witch away from Akko. Diana's vision spun in wildly different directions all at once. Diana surmised that the magic resistant barrier scrambled Diana's magic and mind when she broke through, but a small price to pay for Akko's safety. In retaliation the older witch angrily pushed Diana to the ground and the girl shouted in pain as she hit the dirt.

"Diana…!" Akko feebly cried out terrified for Diana's safety.

"How disappointing." The woman planted her foot at Diana's head as the heiress struggled to glare at her through the disorientation and pain.

"I thought your family would raise you to be smarter than this, Miss Cavendish."

"I will not let you take Akko!" Diana spat. The woman smiled with a sarcastic grin.

"Oh dearie, I think I already have. What could you possibly do to stop-"

"You promised Diana would be spared…!" Akko desperately coughed out as her strength was failing. The woman kicked Diana to the side to deal with her rebellious prisoner.

"Stop being such a pest. You need to keep your end of the bargain if you want me to keep mine and I don't have all day, I'll force it down your throat if I have to!"

The woman wrestled Akko's jaw open and shoved the vial inside. Her rough approach earned her another swift and painful bite on her knuckle. With a newfound opening as her captor recoiled in pain, Akko spit the contents of her mouth right into the woman's eye and she shrieked in agony.

"It burns!" she screamed as she fell to the ground.

"It all burns! It's everywhere! Kill it! Kill it all!" her agony all fell on deaf ears.

Diana clung to the ground for stability and crawled toward the direction she heard Akko's voice coming from in all the confusion. She was quickly pinned down by a large body, she'd probably recognize it as one of the birds if she could think straight. She desperately reached out for something to reorient her. She reached Akko's trembling hand. Looking upwards she could make out Akko's fading smile.

"Please…Diana……Save yourself…!" Akko whispered before her eyes fell and her body followed.

"No…" Diana weakly cried. The weight of Diana's failures hit her all at once. She was too late to save Akko from the spell. Akko would be trapped in her own mind forever. If only Diana thought of something faster. If only Diana didn't let Akko go off on her own. Diana wanted to scream, if only it would wake Akko up.

"Scintalia!" was Diana's final desperate use of her strength. The world spun faster than it ever had before and when Diana opened her eyes again her spell had brought them back to the halls of Luna Nova. She clung to Akko even as her magic caught up to her and she lost consciousness.

"Diana! What happened?!"

"Akko's unconscious!!"

"Go get the professors! Quick!"

Everything after the incident was a blur. The woman apparently fled the scene soon after they escaped her forefield. The doctors that came to help had reassured Diana that both her and Akko were stable, but there was nothing they could do to wake Akko up. Diana was left to watch each of Akko's friends look upon Akko's unconscious body in horror, despair, and sadness. Hannah and Barbara tried to reassure Diana that she did all she could, but she vehemently disagreed. She may have stopped the kidnapper from taking Akko, but she didn't stop her from casting her horrible spell in the first place. Perhaps they were right in a sense, Diana didn't see how she could have done anything differently in that situation. Even the magic she trained for years to master couldn't break through the attacker's shield without discombobulating her. In the end, all she did was get trapped in the same situation Akko was in. If anything, Akko was the one that saved her, and she couldn't even repay the favor. All she could do was lay in bed and wallow in her pathetic failure. Her guilt plagued her even as she drifted into a restless sleep.

"Diana…" she would recognize that normally cheery voice anywhere.

"Akko!" Diana found herself standing in a white void. She looked all around her, but saw no one else.

"Diana…" Diana spun around to the direction of the sound. Off in the distance was some sort of figure against the ethereal backdrop.

"Akko I'm coming!" She raced after the person she saw in the distance, only to be stopped by a stream of black goop. No matter how she struggled against it, it quickly enveloped her faster and faster.

"Diana….I'm right here…." was the last thing Diana heard as she was swallowed by the darkness.

When she woke up again the sparse sunlight indicated it was early morning. No one else was likely to be awake yet. She turned her head to see Akko's sleeping form once again. At that very moment she made a decision. The key to saving Akko was out there somewhere and she was going to find it. Everyone would probably be worried about her leaving so suddenly, but she didn't have time to dwell on that. Diana grabbed her wand and jotted down a note for her bedside detailing where she went. Once she was satisfied she slammed the door behind her. When she came back, Akko would too.

Author's note:

Fun fact, I originally wrote this for last year. But a combination of running out of time, feeling like the direction I wanted to go for this story didn't fit the prompt anymore, and having work in the morning caused me to shelf it. Maybe I'll make this into a full fanfic if I can think up a good plot for it. Don't worry, I won't leave it on a cliffhanger! I will make some sort of conclusion to this. If not a chapter fic then a shorter fic at the very least. Anyway, feedback would be appreciated from readers! If you have any, no pressure if you don't Heck, let me know if you have ideas for how this story could go. Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

@dianakko-week

[buckyownsmylife]

I would: a Tony Stark x Reader x Sam Wilson smut/angst one-shot

The one where Tony knows that you’re Sam’s girl, but that doesn’t stop him from listening in on locker room talk

WC: 1.1K

Warnings: Sam sharing private things about your relationship with his friends and basically disclosing your sexual relationship. You can read it as if you're into it or not, your choice.

A/N: thank you very much to @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog for giving this a read for me 💕 your comments give me life!

Tony’s P.O.V.

I huffed when I walked into the living room to find him already there, surrounded by the supersoldiers. There really was no escaping Samuel Wilson when I was desperately trying to avoid him, apparently.

“Hey, Tony!” He greeted me with a smile, and so I struggled to grind my teeth and swallow down the anger inside of me, forcing myself to go on with my original intention of spreading my body over one of the very comfortable sofas in the room instead of turning around and returning to my lab.

I could do this. I just had to ignore him.

“I feel like I haven’t had the chance to talk to you in so long!” I cringed, feeling the bitter taste of guilt on my mouth. It was true, my anger was one-sided and solitary. Worse: it was unknown. Wilson had no idea I was irritated every time he was around, and so, he couldn’t really be blamed by his perfectly normal behavior towards a teammate who had always been nothing short of cordial towards him.

“Yeah, you know…” I tried my best to keep my tone neutral, although I avoided his eyes as I took a seat in one of the many couches around us. “Always working on a new gadget.” Wilson and Rogers chuckled and nodded, recognizing the truth in my statement, as it wasn’t new that I’d always spent most of my time down at the lab. But they didn’t seem eager to bring me into their conversation, as immediately after I made myself comfortable, they turned back to what they had been talking when I arrived.

“So” -this was said by Barnes, who was seating on the other side of the new Captain- “you were telling us about last night.” That got my curiosity - I hated not being in the know of something - and my frown most definitely showed it even before I asked, “What happened last night?”

“Sam took his girl on a special date.” Stopping myself from groaning, I simply nodded, for the first time in my life actually praying in the hopes that they’d somehow change subject, although it was obvious I wouldn’t have such luck.

“Hell yes!” Barnes celebrated. “And she found a very special way to thank him…” That was said while his focus remained on the star of the conversation, a clear nudge towards returning  to what was previously being discussed, and I already knew what was coming.

“Jesus fuck.” I couldn’t help myself. Not anymore. “Do the two of you ever stop fucking?” Somehow,  by God’s grace (ironically), the envious tone of my question wasn’t noticed by any of the other men in the room, far too focused on the perspective of hearing yet another tale of Samuel’s sexual adventures with his new girlfriend…

… and the object of my deepest desires.

When I introduced the two of them at one of the Stark enterprises gatherings, I didn’t anticipate their union would make my ordeal even worse than it already was. Sure, I knew she was hot already - that was precisely the problem.

She was way too fucking hot, and she was my assistant. I couldn’t stop thinking about her like that. It was consuming my mind.

Heart beating fast, I considered my options as Samuel prepared to resume his fantastic tales of fuckery. I really should leave. Even if I was friends with the guy, she was my employee, for God’s sake!

No good could come out of this. And still, I didn’t leave.

“She’s such a fucking tease, man!” Sam groaned, but the huge smile on his face made clear how little he was upset with it. “She wakes me up in the middle of the night, just because she wants it so bad.”

The guys groaned, but I remained silent - Sam’s words reverberating across my mind. What must it be like, to have someone desire you this badly? To have her want me so damn much she just can’t wait for me to wake up?

“I bet she feels perfect,” Barnes commented, but the eagerness in his tone was easy to capture. Sam chuckled as he nodded, not at all bothered by the soldier’s interest in his girl, and still, I made sure to keep pretending I wasn’t interested in what he was saying, avoiding his gaze so I wouldn’t be caught.

“Yeah, and she just lets me fuck her whenever,” he informed us, much to my agony. “And she’s always so fucking wet. She comes so fucking hard around my dick, sometimes I swear she’ll snap the entire thing off.”

Squirming on my seat, I briefly wondered if there was any way I could somehow watch them fuck without them knowing about it, but then I snapped myself out of it. What kind of a creep was I becoming?

“I’ve even made her squirt a few times.” Now, that was just evil. A small part of me was starting to consider Samuel did know about my interest in his girl, and he was doing this just as a way to torture me.

“See this picture that she sent me?” Suddenly, a phone was thrusted on my face, a picture of her on her hands and knees staring back at me.

I fell in love.

Hoping he wouldn’t look down and see my cock straining against my pants, I coughed to fake nonchalance, rubbing my sweaty palms against the fabric of said pants.

“Does she…” I hesitated before forcing myself to voice my question, not wanting the guys to question why I was so weirdly quiet. “Does she like it rough?”

My answer was a sound that was half wheeze, half laugh, Samuel nodding excitedly as he rubbed his hand over his chest, pride obviously pouring through every pore of his.

“But she looks so innocent…” This last thought escaped uninvited, eliciting another laugh from the man of the hour, as he shook his head in pity at me.

“I can assure you, she isn’t.” I gulped hard, not wanting to allow the thoughts in my brain to compose themselves fully, but Sam wouldn’t let me get any rest. “She doesn’t let me cum anywhere but in her pussy, says she’s hungry for it, just so you know.”

I should have left long ago. But I was stuck to the sofa now, not knowing how to escape this nightmarish conversation, just as she called him up and he put her on speaker for us all to hear.

“Fuck, daddy, I need you…” The faint sound of her vibrator couldn’t be missed, and while Steve and Bucky tried to reel in their laughter and Sam coached her through an orgasm, I couldn’t help but think that she deserved better.

Fuck, I wanted her to be mine.

[batsplat]

How well is Marc actually doing on the GP23 cause I know he’s ahead by a lot to the other GP23s and no disrespect to them but I feel like they aren’t a good comparison because Marc is just better and has a lot more experience so how do you judge how well his season actually is would it be by adaptability or by looking at how good Martin and Pecco were on the bikes last year or by an entirely different criteria cause he does do well to keep up with the GP24s it’s really impressive. And Aragon and Misano did showcase how amazing he is in tricky conditions kind of like Sachsenring 2021.

y'know, in motorsports you can never know these things with any certainty. there's just too many confounding variables. like we know the gp23 is worse than the gp24, we can be reasonably confident it's a bigger gap between specs than in years past... but beyond that? it's not as much worse as bez is making it look, for instance. sometimes it really just comes down to how a rider adapts to a specific bike, whether they're being hindered by any pesky changes to the tyres, that sort of thing... but it is a problem, because bez was kinda supposed to be our benchmark going into this year. right now, marc doesn't have a great benchmark. again, we know he's adapted well, we know he's doing a 'really good' job, but obviously that's all pretty vague. you also can't compare what he's doing right now to what jorge/pecco were doing last year on the gp23... I've seen some people compare lap times between seasons, which, no!! don't do that! the reason why EVERYONE'S lap times have gone down by so much is because michelin have introduced a new rear tyre. it is a completely meaningless comparison. keep it away from me

so, yeah, we don't really know. I'm interested in misano next time out and the flyaways to get a sense of what marc's performance is right now in a 'normal' weekend. like, those two wins were undoubtedly impressive, but also they don't tell me anything I didn't already know. he's very good at anti-clockwise circuits! specifically sachsenring, cota and to a slightly lesser degree aragon... the margin he had over the field was exaggerated by track conditions all weekend, which were of the slippery low grip kind he's always been incredibly strong at, but this was always marquez territory. he also took full advantage of the brief rain at misano to do his thing - and he kept up a very impressive pace when it was drying out, though we were perhaps denied a more extended battle by pecco's physical condition and championship considerations. as marc said, he didn't have anything to lose in that race. but y'know, again this is all in line with expectations. during the summer break I did kinda think that marc's best chances of winning this year were a) aragon and possibly phillip island, or b) a gross ever-so-slightly wet race. his pace in austria was also strong, albeit half a step behind the two gp24 frontrunners - which is what you'd probably expect with the machinery deficit. it's obviously important that he's gotten back into a winning habit again, maybe ironed out a few of the gremlins in the gresini set-up. everything he needs to finish the season strong and come out firing next year

the one slight question mark I still have is the whole qualifying situation. he currently leads his teammate h2h 8-5 which... well, given the kind of disgusting beatdowns of gifted qualifier dani pedrosa he used to deliver,, it does raise an eyebrow. I'm perfectly open to the argument that this is all just about adaptation, about being unfamiliar with the circuits on a ducati, circumstantial factors and a string of bad luck... but, well. just something to keep an eye on. he did need a slice of good fortune in misano - otherwise you just wouldn't be in victory contention at that track from ninth. that's a problem! prime!marc would go entire seasons without qualifying lower than sixth; I know he has a reputation for being a crasher, but back in the day he was able to walk that fine line extremely well to give himself the lap he needed in qualifying without binning it. maybe it's a question of the margin for error still not being quite there at the moment (outside of aragon, obviously), maybe it's something about the risk/reward calculation... who knows. maybe he'll be closer to prime!marc again in qualifying in 2025. but obviously it's worth mentioning in this discussion; by every other metric, marc is completely brutalising the other gp23's

let's quickly compare average grid positions of marc versus his teammate throughout his premier class career

(btw, updating this made me see that marc's average grid position is still the third best on the grid, which.... I mean it's a gulf to second... but given how much I've been bullying him for his qualifying, this makes me deeply unimpressed by what certain other riders have been doing this season)

anyway, look, no cause for alarm, not got a terminal case of being washed quite yet. qualifying can sometimes be the thing that declines first... valentino was never close to the qualifier marc is (defo not a bad qualifier but very much a sunday man)... but that part of his game definitely declined sharper and earlier than everything else and he had some horrendous qualifying seasons when he was still otherwise competitive. it'll be interesting to track next year for sure, defo curious to see how the h2h shakes out with pecco