#irl hormone issues

[jackkatzz]

Rant about hormones, being intersex, and IRL desires under the cut

Warning of 18+ discussion ahead

Seriously, avoid this if you don't wanna see my raunchy thoughts about my boyfriend and the woes of being intersex and on hormone therapy

You get the monthly gut punch of what would be period horny if it weren't for the Testosterone making it so you don't ACTUALLY have a period, and also the rush of Testosterone horny from both the internal testes you have and the injected hormone used to regulate your everything.

Y'know the worst part of using Testosterone to regulate your wonky hormones from being intersex?

It just.. gives you a rush of wanting to be the absolute filthiest beast imaginable and ruin your boyfriend on any flat surface that will withstand the act of feral desire you intend to decimate him with.

Aaand he's 2000 miles away and aaaaaaaaaa

Best way to describe it?

Looking at your boyfriend once a month and genuinely thinking, "Fuck, I wanna get that man pregnant."

-////- I'll be fine as soon as the monthly three day flux of hormones passes, but fuck I needed to yell about this

[grumpycakes]

I took my meds today. I’ve been good and consistent w them. Why am I so fucking anxious and stressed out still.

(I know why. The world is falling apart and I feel like I can’t do anything while my life continues to March on)

Just having a stressy struggle day

[seokmattchuus]

My campus had a mental health "spooktacular" and I only went bc one of my classes is fuckall and wants us to do shit on campus but I copped a cute lil coloring book so I guess it wasn't too bad

[fefairys]

i am so jealous of amab transfems and i could list the reasons but i won’t cause i know if i was one id be just as jealous of afab transmascs is the thing. so whenever i feel sad that i wasn’t born a boy so i could be a girl i just think about how that version of me would be sad that she wasn’t born a girl so she could be a boy.

[reginaofdoctorwho]

having a brain is so goddamn stupid is this who i am is this a hormone issue is this trauma response is this the maybe neurodivergency is this just me being weird is everyone around me just not vibing

[natalie-alkaline-6]

As fun as it is to shove my mental and social problems into a box for “later”, it probably isn’t healthy for me to go

“I don’t feel good about [problem].”

Sees friend having worse problem

“Suddenly [problem] doesn’t seem so bad.”

, is it?

Like, just because a friend’s hypothetical chair just broke doesn’t change the fact that my hypothetical chair is slowly falling apart, you know?

[nordidia]

raphie doodles from a rage filled day

(first one is the only kinda /srs one, u can laugh i promise bc if this wasnt me i'd laugh my ass off /pos) i had to project. also i love my friends sorry i yelled at yall xx

just period thingz... surely it has nothing to do with my genuine anger issues. no its just all hormones i promise guys. trust.

its a little pathetic i was genuinely warm inside and inches away from trashing my desk for ZERO FUCKING REASON. WHY?!?! WHAT THE FUCKAEHNGHJSDAGHAH send me to hell im begging

that second panel is something i actually do irl to iben when i need him to stfu so fucking immediately and he has dubbed it "the jojo stare" and its so fucking funny until i need him to stfu so fucking immediately (he drew this one time when i did it at him)

[ameliafuckinjones]

My favorite thing about hetalia astrology is how you can kind of combine it with hetalia anatomy. I'm going to use America as an example. When Pluto entered Capricorn, causing America to experience its Pluto Return in 2008, the main place within his birth chart that got affected was his Second House, the place where his natal Pluto in Capricorn is stationed (aka the place where Pluto in Capricorn was in the sky when he declared Independence).

Now, planets, houses, and signs all govern over their respective body parts in astrology. Pluto governs over the reproductive system, the immune system, the bladder, colon, and bowels ( places that deal with elimination and purification, which is strongly tied to the themes of Pluto). Capricorn governs over the knees, the joints, the bones, and the skin. The 2nd house governs over the throat and the neck. So I imagine that when America experienced his Pluto return, he began dealing with thyroid disorders (2nd house affect), arthritis (Capricorn affect), and hormonal imbalances (Pluto affect) among other issues -perhaps common cold- which lasted for about 16 years and is soon going to come to an end. It's a fun thought to consider that the anatomy of nations isn't necessarily tied to the people or the land but the cosmos itself, which is tied to everything and everyone. Pluto entering Capricorn caused America's Pluto Return, which caused the Great Recession of 2008 that recked the global economy ( i guess you can take this as America accidentally spreading his cold, poor baby 😭😭😭). Pluto in Capricorn returned to the *exact* degree it was in during the declaration of Independence in 2022 (which irl dealt with issues with regards to reproductive health), and now it's slowly starting to recede.

France is getting ready to experience his own Pluto Return, and I imagine that illness is gaining speed and steadily descending on him like a Jaws theme 😭😭😭 it's like when your throat suddenly feels scratchy but you don't have the runny nose to go with it yet. For him, Pluto is in Aquarius in the 4th house, and Pluto is getting ready to enter Aquarius this November (the place it was over 200 years ago when the First French Republic was established during the throes of the French Revolution). So he'll be dealing with immune and reproductive system illnesses, like America, as well as issues with his calves, shins, and ankles (Aquarius) and his chest, lungs, and stomach (4th house).

Keep in mind, though, that these planetary returns aren't constantly hitting them. Pluto takes about 248 years to return to the original place it was in their birth charts, Uranus takes 84 years, and Saturn takes 29. So these are like once in a lifetime illnesses or conflicts that take them by suprise, lingering for a bit before disappearing for another couple of centuries or decades. They learn how to heal themselves better, whether that be literally or metaphorically (or like in a metaphysical sense), and they learn life lessons that braids itself into the fabric of their societies, cultures, history etc. So it sucks for a bit, but it makes them stronger after all is said and done.

[writerblue275]

PLEAAAASE! I read both heartsteel becoming dad's and my heart AUGHHHH please continue the series!!! Maybe girl-dad Yone?! Who knows. Might be a lot though considering Yone's brother's with Yasuo who's in his own music group. (True damage needs a comeback fr.) BUT AAAAAA

(Guess who’s back. Back again!) I had such a lovely time writing Sett’s and Kayn’s Headcanons for this series, I’m absolutely thrilled to continue it! I’m so glad you enjoyed them both, Anon! Also HEAVY agree on True Damage needing a comeback!!! 💙 (Ok now that I got the calm response out of the way hehehe). AHHHHHH You definitely don’t have to ask me twice!!! Again, I don’t even want kids IRL, but holy hell I’d have this man’s children SO FAST if I was his partner. He gives me dad(dy) energy and I think he’d be a phenomenal father.

Heartsteel!Yone becoming a dad (/with a pregnant!reader)

Previous Members: Sett, Kayn

Inspiration: Requested but again have we seen Yone???? Pure husband/dad material right there. When I started the series he was one of the ones who inspired me to do it (along with Sett).

Genre: Headcanons

Type: FLUFF

Gender: Technically gender neutral but there is of course discussion of a pregnant reader and carrying a pregnancy.

Tw: Discussion of pregnancies and any difficulties associated with pregnancies. Slight mention of fertility issues at the beginning. Swearing.

There’s always a risk of unexpected pregnancy if you are sexually active and the circumstances are there for pregnancy, but out of all members, Yone is definitely the one who is the most careful. Now that doesn’t mean you and him wouldn’t enjoy yourselves before getting to the point of starting a family, please don’t misunderstand. Yone is not a selfish man. 😏

But otherwise he’s extremely careful and so are you. Having a child is such an extreme life change and he’s of the mindset that being as “prepared” as possible (emotionally, financially, physically) isn’t a bad thing.

Once he’s sure that you and him are in a solid place to start a family, he’d talk to you about it. Now of course before this moment he’d know whether or not you even want to have kids. So this conversation is just more of a “I think we’re finally in a really good spot to start a family. What do you think?” sort of thing.

And once the two of you do start trying, Yone’d be the biggest supporter if things are a little rough and it’s taking longer than you hope to get pregnant. He’d never let you blame yourself or your body, just as you don’t let him blame himself or his body. Things happen and pregnant or not, he loves you so damn much.

Regardless of how long it took to get pregnant, once you are pregnant, he’d be absolutely thrilled.

You can get so creative in how you tell him your pregnant, too. And you know who’d love to help you tell him in a way he relates to? Aphelios. Phel would gladly help you make a little song for Yone to surprise him.

Yone just seems like he’d be such a phenomenal partner to you while you’re pregnant. Something about him just seems so grounded and secure, and he absolutely wants to be a rock for you to lean on. It’s probably the age/maturity (A/N: Yes I know he’s only in his early-mid thirties. He’s not much older than I am. But still. People can change significantly as they go through their twenties into their thirties. I’m a significantly different person at 27 than I was in/directly after college.)

Yone already was your rock before pregnancy but he is even more so now. He realizes while things are changing for him, it’s almost 10x crazier for you since you’re carrying the baby.

Because of that, he’s remarkably calm during your hormone swings, etc. He just calmly figures out what might help and does it (with your consent ofc).

It did take him a little bit to get used to your cravings. He’d heard pregnancy cravings could be weird, but flaming hot Cheetos dipped in vanilla ice cream??? Yeah that threw him for a bit of a loop. (He still got you the Cheetos and ice cream though because he loves you.)

When the two of you tell the rest of Heartsteel, they’re not super shocked. They’re so happy for both of you, but yeah they saw the writing on the walls. They could tell Yone was ready to settle down with you very early on in your relationship.

Now of course Yone spends a lot of time in his studio. He has to, as a producer. But during your pregnancy, he creates a great home studio so he can work from home more often and be closer to you. He really makes the effort to be available to you as much as possible. He’ll take you to all appointments, help you with any physical side-effects of pregnancy, and just be there to help you process the wild emotions you’re feeling (those damn hormones). Whatever you need, he wants to help.

You know who else is surprisingly helpful? Yasuo! The True Damage DJ/Producer is so excited to become an uncle?? Like holy shit. (Lmao Yone lowkey threatens Yasuo not to spoil any of your kids too much….[Let’s be so for real though, Yasuo definitely still would.] TD Yasuo would be such a cool uncle.)

And Yasuo serves as a valued confidant for Yone whenever he needs to vent out his nervousness at becoming a dad. (Of course he’s nervous. Becoming a parent for the first time must be a nerve-wracking experience, even if you’ve “planned” for it.)

But anytime Yone can’t be with you for something (which is exceedingly rare, he really tries to free up as much time for you as possible) Yasuo is happy to step in and serve in the chauffeur or “door-dash” driver role for you!

But again, Yone will move hell and high water to be there for your appointments. Which is great because any exciting news he can get in real time. Including….:

Yone holds your hand and squeezes it soothingly as the sonographer moves the wand over your ever-so-slightly swollen belly.

“Is it cold, my love? The gel?” He asks softly, chuckling as you scrunch your nose and make a little face up at him.

“Yes it is! But hey, it’s the first time we can really see the baby since the dating ultrasound, so it’s worth it,” you respond.

“There they are!” The sonographer says, intently watching the screen.

Both your head and Yone’s head whip towards the screen, the joy between the two of you palpable as you see the dark area filled with what looks like a large-looking head. It’s hard to tell exactly what you’re looking at though.

“So that’s them? That’s our baby?” Yone asks, his voice containing a note of excitement which is very unlike his usual calm demeanor.

The tech looks at both of you and smiles. “Babies, actually.”

Your grip on Yone’s hand gets instantly tighter and you gasp as you register what she said. “W-wait did you just say babies??? With an s?? As in multiple??” Your question is a little breathless as you look up at Yone, whose eyes are wide and jaw is dropped in shock.

The sonographer chuckles softly and nods. “Two, actually. Twins. We must have missed the second one in the initial ultrasound since they were so small. Look here, you can see the differentiation of the placentas. And here are the two heads!” She shows you and Yone what she’s referring to on the large monitor as she speaks.

You look up at Yone who still looks a little dazed and has been quietly staring at the monitor. You’re almost a little nervous he’s gone into shock. “Yone, are you alright?” You ask gently as you briefly cup his cheek and turn his chin so he’s looking at you.

That small action seems to snap him out of whatever daze he was in and he quickly gathers you into a tight hug. “Holy shit we’re having twins, my love! Oh my god.”

You nod and whisper, “It seems we are. H-how do you feel? I’m both excited and a little terrified..” your voice fades off in a chuckle.

Yone kisses your forehead before pecking your lips. “(Y/N), I’m thrilled. Shocked, for sure, but I’m absolutely over the moon,” he murmurs reassuringly, already helping to soothe the spike of emotions you’re having at the news.

Absolute pandemonium ensues when you tell the the rest of Heartsteel that you and Yone are having twins. (With particular excitement from Aphelios and Alune.)

As for gender preferences? He doesn’t really care. He just wants healthy babies and as easy of a pregnancy/delivery as possible for you.

And you know what, maybe that no gender preference is a good thing because….

(*drumroll pleeeeeease*) You’re having a boy and a girl! (Again the news inspires particular excitement for Phel and Alune [who secretly have a bet on which baby will be older]).

Something cute Yone does is create music for the babies. While you’re sitting in his home studio and relaxing with your bump, he’s just playing/mixing some gentle instrumentals, writing one-of-a-kind lullabies for the babies. He really expresses the bulk of his feelings about becoming a dad through his music. And he makes sure to save anything he writes so they can be played later once the babies are actually here.

The Lamaze king. There’s no one better to help you remember and practice your Lamaze technicques. Again he just has such an unwavering/grounding presence.

And that calm and steady presence only cracks once during your pregnancy….when the babies decide to make their entrance into the world a little early (as multiples tend to do).

You waddle your way to his home studio door, knocking softly, but urgently.

“Come in!” You hear Yone’s voice call back.

Instead you just open the door, staying off of the carpeted floor of his studio and standing in the doorway. “Honey? Sorry to disturb you but it’s a little important.”

Yone turns and immediately catches onto the alarm in your expression, his eyes widening. “What happened? Are you alright?” He immediately rushes over to you.

You look up at him. “Y-Yone, my water just broke…”

You watch as he actually goes a little pale as his brain registers what you just said. “W-what?? N-now?! But you’re only 34 weeks along!”

You grip his arm. “I-I don’t think babies really care about sticking to a schedule, Yone. They come into the world when they decide to come into the world.”

You can see Yone’s brain immediately go into overdrive, so you gently grip his hand. “Yone…it’ll be ok, but let’s just get to the hospital, yeah? We have the car packed, right?

He snaps out of his daze and takes a deep breath, his features settling back into his usual calm expression, realizing panic will not help in this situation. “We do.” He smiles gently at you as he leads you to the car. “On our way, can you time how long it is between contractions, love? I’m sure they’ll want to know once we get to the hospital.”

Just an absolute fucking god send of a birthing partner. He works you through your anxiety (even though he’s experiencing some of his own) and is just so reassuring to you while you progress through labor.

Seeing you in pain is something he hates more than anything. So he’s ready to do whatever you need him to do in order to lessen your pain. He makes sure you go through all the various Lamaze techniques you learned, distracts you with some music, and murmurs reassurances in your ear as you squeeze the fuck out of his hand.

And the second you decide you want an epidural, he makes sure that’s properly communicated to the medical team, grateful you’ll be in much less pain.

Yone is checking in with you throughout the entire process, making sure you’re alright. Because while he’s excited about welcoming the babies, your well-being is even more important to him.

And once the babies actually arrive, and you’re doing alright, well just one look over at him and you can tell he’s already so in love with being a dad and that he loves your kids so much, even after just meeting them.

Similar to Phel and Alune, the boy twin is the older one, though only by about 10 minutes. (You catch a chagrined Alune slap a 50 note into a grinning Phel’s outstretched hand after you reveal which twin is older.)

And when he gets the chance to hold the babies, you can immediately tell how fiercely protective he’s going to be (but not in a way that makes your kids sheltered if that makes sense).

(A/N: YONE HOLDING A NEWBORN/TWO NEWBORNS ENDMXIDNFHSMX WHAT A THOUGHT.)

He’s just got such a dad vibe already and he’d be such a good father and co-parent with you.

Other extra tidbits: (post-birth)

His sleep schedule is already so fucked up that honestly, having newborn twins doesn’t impact him that much (he’s already used to running on very little sleep and an insane amount of cold brew). It really helps you because he’s able to go check on the babies super easily, meaning you don’t have to wake up as often.

(This is for when the twins are a little older. Like 3-4.) One of your favorite photos on your phone is from when you walked into your daughter’s room to grab something and found your 6’ 2” husband squeezed onto a tiny chair at a tiny table (like his knees are against his chest), wearing a green feather boa, a sparkly pink tiara, and - wait…is that sparkly eye shadow, blush, and pink lipstick he has on??? - having a very exclusive tea party with your daughter and her favorite stuffies. You managed to keep a straight face as you apologized for intruding, but you quickly grabbed what you needed after taking the photo and rushed back to your room, going into your closet and laughing. (And laughing even harder when Yone later came into your room and asked for your help getting the makeup off. He got you back for laughing though by covering your face in messy pink kiss prints before you could take the lipstick off him.)

Another favorite photo of yours is Yone with your 1.5-year old son sitting on his lap as he works in his home studio. He even gave your son his own pair of headphones to listen through, though of course he majorly limited the volume output to protect his little ears. As he worked he kept asking your son for his opinion, interpreting his little babbles and coos as musical advice. (The photo is of a moment where Yone asked your son what he thought about a verse.)

Ex: “You’re right, bud! There is a bit too much bass here! Good ear.”

And multiple times you’ve walked into his home studio after running errands to see Yone in one chair, Yasuo and/or Aphelios in another, 2/3 of them holding one of the twins on their laps as they seriously discuss music production. And you can’t help but smile at the lovely feeling of family your kids have surrounding them.

Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed!! I apologize for the delay in posting. May was really nuts and for me and June is shaping up the same way. But things will hopefully start to calm down soon and it feels good to finally have the urge to write again!! I definitely have some other things in the works so keep your eyes out for that! 💙

[enneamage]

i remember your really great essay on the fandom's tendency to hope ccs are queer due to, in part, the uneasy relationship between male streamers and women. now seeing wilbur's exploration into famously queer media (i have never met a dude into tyler the creator who was not bi unless he himself believed tyler wasn't queer), i was wondering, do you think male ccs in the community are aware that being bi makes them appear more safe towards women? i don't doubt anyone's sexuality btw

For starters, I think that Wilbur is throwing a bunch of spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks in terms of a new public persona. What you’re looking at is still an indie softboy variant, just spiced a bit differently. Art Guy and Bisexual can be related but as I said in the other post, sticking morality, sexuality and aesthetics together as a package deal is a quick way to be misled. The thing I want to linger on is the evolution of the idea of a softboy, which was actually a fandom-esque tumblr term that was a term of endearment to fictional / irl boys before it became an ironic nickname to call out a particular kind of wolf in sheep's clothing. I think that concept cycle happens a lot. 

In the straight sense, men do have a motivation to try to get women to like them. While some people are remarkably bad at this or have no clue how to achieve it, others are a bit better at following the trail of an appealing persona and trying to fit themselves into it. Some of it is a genuine self-image desire as well, you want to think of yourself as an appealing person even without an audience, so you take the temperature of the culture and try to follow the path that seems to work best for your desires and interests.

Softboy / golden retriever boyfriend / himbo and the like tends to come from the imagination of women online when collectively brainstorming what kind of person would be seen as a breath of fresh air in the current Dude Climate. The issue with it being translated IRL is that once it becomes clear that people really do find these tropes attractive, people want to lean into the strategy a bit either as an exaggeration of their own personalities or an active choice to Not Be Like Other Guys, inviting inevitable disappointment when they have the ups and downs of a real person with traits, or are revealed to be straight up frauds. 

In terms of leaning into persona or aesthetics aside from sexuality, I want to bump this post by someone on the mcyt snark reddit that takes a tour through personas that consistently appear and reappear in post-2020 MCYT circles. I think the people love a persona (or imago perhaps) and a package deal of traits, we tend to hand them out for free when we’re forming our impressions of people even if they don’t mean to create one. 

Wilbur in particular has a lot of reasons to try and dress himself up as ‘safe’ for the time being, but you asked about the bi swatch of MCYT and I think the answer to the safety part is unconsciously, yes. I think that having an aspect of their experience being removed from mainstream straight culture really does put them in a different headspace than straight peers, but whether that headspace is actually kinder and safer in practice isn’t guaranteed in the way that I think both parties might hope. They probably notice that people treat them better or differently when they lean into the mlm part of their identity, leading them to do it more over time.

Again, especially with CCS, I think a lot of people hope that the bisexuality will lead to a long term partnership with a man or that their attraction to women would be softened into something less hormonally or culturally straight. People actively leaning into post-2020 queer culture aesthetics (because we’re not talking leather bars here) may also seem more safe or appealing by breaking down the dyadic “let me define myself by being completely opposed to you” aspects of really rigid gender performance relationships. Ironically this may also make them seem more appealing as partners in the platonic and romantic sense because it feels less like you’re dealing with a rigid diametric opposite. You feel closer to them by being under the LGBTQ+ umbrella with them, which also adds some motivation to parasocial attachment. 

[in-depth-transsexualism]

I need some of y'all need to get real about the trans men/transmasc male privilege discussions. Because I was literally the “girl” with long hair wearing frilly outfits being told by people online and irl that I had male privilege.

The "trans men and transmascs all have unequivocal male privilege" is so fucked to me. You've essentially told a young me that I'm not really a "man" and not even a "trans man" because I haven't gotten on hormones and passed at all. Is that not it's core transphobic? I thought my own mere self identification was "valid?" What happened to trans men who are feminine are "valid?" Also the very things you expect me to do to "earn" my title, I didn't get any tips from the likes of y'all jumping to tell me about this so called "privilege" I have. When I looked up "trans men" in the search bar, you know what I saw? Not resources on how to afford HRT and where to find binders, but discussions of passing trans men and male privilege. No, I did not have "toxic masculinity" when I had long hair and wore dresses and told people that the "I hate men" and "kill all men" comments made me uncomfortable. I WAS A SCARED TRANS KID, I WAS A TRANS YOUTH. I see the "protect trans kids" t-shirt you wear. I was constantly told by people close to me that I was incredibly kindhearted, only to be told, suddenly told, after I came out I needed to be "a good man." That if I had an issue with that rhetoric I was toxic. I strive to be a good person, regardless of my identity, I always have, but suddenly now as a "trans man" I'm not doing enough. If I squint it looks no different to me than being told being trans is a sin from my own Church Priest. Because that's the only thing that's changed about me.

When I pass? It mostly happens in the dark or in a way when I'm read as a twelve year old effeminate boy. I had someone come up to my friend while we were talking in the dark telling her he "wish he could have me." Within the years I've been out, I've been raped, explicitly because of my gender identity, dealt constantly with "jokes" about hurting me and lots of other shit.

What are you doing about those issues?

Some of y'all need to get so real. Get uncomfortable with cisgender privilege, get uncomfortable acknowledging there are people in your community who are less fortunate than you. And as a disclaimer, I'm not saying these conversations about passing and male privilege aren't worth having. I'm saying they both A, require more nuance, and B as a participant, you need to think about why you're having them. I think they're a shield for some of you to avoid facing something. Maybe it's the non-passing trans men that make you uncomfortable because of your internalized transphobia, maybe it's cisgender privilege, I don't know.

[ourhomealien]

Don't gatekeep feelings, please.

TLDR

I'm autistic and so I have a unique vocabulary, so bare with me please.

Hermitcraft to me is a community for all ages, that's what I expect of it. In the same way a child deserves and expects to be able to trust and learn from their parents without abuse or them being literal criminals. People are as bad as they want to be, and you can 100% grieve your expectations of them. Disappointment can hurt anyone. In the same way you invest your feelings into pets knowing they will die, and then grieving when they're gone, you can invest feelings and expectations into people you know about and that isn't childish or naive, it's human. Hermitcraft is in no way culpable for an individual's actions. The amount of distress caused by this VC's actions is widespread and not limited, in the same way an earthquake has aftershocks.

I'm genuinely grieving over iskall, The character and the community they built and the stims and autistic scripts I've built into myself because of them. I was shocked on Saturday, but at the same time, after reading that first line it didn't make sense to be any other hermit (I did not in any way predict this) at the time of reading nothing was confirmed so I felt that, innocent until proven guilty, was the way to go. My heart sank, I felt sick and I wanted to cry, I was on my way home from a long day at work and it was the first day of my hormone cycle at it's worst. The first thoughts I had were, 'no no please, it's not true, it's true, maybe it's the bullies again and he can't cope anymore'. Then the hermits started acting and I thought maybe he doesn't want to be affiliated anymore. But that didn't 100% add up. <33 to the good hermits for being amazing.

In my experience being autistic means 75% of my existence is made up of scripts I've adopted and will continue to adopt, from other people around me locally like my family, from movies, shows, and books growing up, to everything I've consumed information wise, this includes so many people, some that at one time were my hyperfixation, these scripts can be unlearnt, and I have another script that helps ('we don't do that here') but it's still a process and It's stressful and unpleasant.

VC was one of the only people I've subscribed to on twitch, I didn't even watch his live stream (they were way too stressful for me, the pay to win quality of his streams was really frustrating) I just subbed to support him. At least to me he had a 'victim' persona especially when it came to the other hermits and their success in comparison, and this translated to me the need to support him more. (He was a hermit for crying out loud, he was fine, I tell myself now), then I read the truth and the pay to win made sense because he Was showing favouritism, after reading K's statement before I was finished I knew M would be involved too and I just felt incredibly sad and heartbroken for them, no one deserves to be treated like that, and people except a certain level of human decency. I'm sorry that this happens and I'm so sad that it has.

He made me feel Grian was a bad sport and that Grian was wrong to be in videos with his friends because he was more popular, that Grian couldn't be sincere in his joy 'because he was always stealing the limelight' (I was 15 at the time and irl was tough and I had bigger problems going on, I loved C! Grian a lot) and didn't trust anyone, so I started to dislike CC! Grian a lot. (Again young n Major trust issues); I like Grian again now but felt uneasy for a long while.

VC always pops at the end of his videos when he says bye and I always watched to the end just because of it, and at a certain point I started associating popping with saying 'I love you' I did it to my family and it's been a part of my autistic script since late 2018. Others include (Hallo, Omega, of doom)

Iskall's Minecraft character is canonically non-binary/agender and in fanworks they use they/them pronouns and as someone who's a fan of mcyt, Minecraft and is gender q, that was a big deal for me to be canonically represented. They also inspired me to write incredibly niche and rare minecraft lore and head canon's for them (them being a villager/player hybrid); iskall's character is a separate entity but the association is horrifying now and that is extremely disappointing, it was the same with William Gold.

VC has made fun of people's differences and difficulties and has been generally rude at times under the guise of humour. He has laughed at people's trust in the creepest way, that even though I liked him I was scared and put off for days, I was so genuinely angry at him, because I felt humiliated. He knew who he was and laughed at our trust in him. That hurts and angers me even more now.

[rouge-the-bat]

i really do wonder what ppl who tout the "non-men loving non-men" definition of lesbian think about multigender people. do they EVER consider us? even a tiny bit? bc it certainly doesnt feel like it. it feels like any one of these situations:

they already dont think being multigender is a thing, and say shit like "you can only be a man, a woman, or nonbinary, not all of the above."

they quite literally dont think about how multigender people would work in relation to sexuality. they may claim to support us, but they dont pay attention to or care about the fact our gender identity ISNT just an isolated thing that has no affect or connection to anything else about us.

they look at my gender (genderfluid between woman, man, and many forms of nonbinary, more oftentimes a mix), and say oh well youre PARTIALLY a man in some way so that means you cant be a lesbian! so, basically my man-ness just "taints" me and negates the fact that im also a woman and nonbinary? what about the days where my genderfluidity contains no bit of man at all? can i only be a lesbian SOMETIMES?

they yell about non-men all they want, but see my gender and go, "oh not YOU though :) i mean people who are ONLY a man!" and not realize how that is 1. them not saying at all what they mean in their definition if still SOME men are okay and 2. extremely comes across as misgendering and that they dont see me as Actually a man if im not mono-gendered, regardless of their intention. if you are going to categorize people as "men or non-men" and try to fit me in only one or the other, you are misgendering me no matter what. non-men is not the same thing as non-mono-gendered-men.

and all of this also makes me wonder: what would these people think if they saw me in person, holding hands with my girlfriend?

for context: transmeds would 100% consider me a faker not only bc im genderfluid, use any pronouns (esp neos), and am without dysphoria (for gender anyways), but because theyd think im just cis. im afab with no hormone changes or surgery, nor do i want any (my ideal genitals being a dick or barbie-doll-smooth aside, since i dont care enough to do surgery about it, and any of my other gender ideals would require shapeshifting), i like my big boobs, AND im femme. my fat even adds to my curves. most people would probably read me as only a girl and not think twice about it, esp if im dressing up as femme as i like being at the time.

so, if these people shouting "non-men loving non-men" at those like me all the time ended up seeing me irl, what would they think? would they see im extremely femme and read as a girl while holding hands with my girlfriend (who isnt femme but still is easily read as a girl) and think oh yeah, thats a lesbian right there? because a huge part of me says that they absolutely would have no issue with it

who knows if anyone who swears up and down by the "non-men loving non-men" definition will actually read this, but i REALLY wish more people would actually hear out multigender folks and see how definitions like this are incompatible with us. think about how our identity doesnt exist in a vacuum. realize that plenty of us ARE lesbians no matter what anyone else says, and we do not abide to your """inclusive""" definition that actually doesnt consider our existence at all.

or at least realize identity labels dont have a one-size-fits-all definition in the vastness of queer experiences, that people are going to have definitions for things that are different from yours, and you dont hold the One True Right Definition. realize that definitions are not rules that are placed upon words, theyre explanations for how these words are being used across the world, through time, and vary from person, place, and time. definitions are fluid, not static, and many words have multiple definitions.

[cyprozombiegirl]

Hi! I have a few questions

where did you get your surgery done? Was it at a clinic for bottom surgery, or a hospital, or what?

what was the surgery itself like, as well as preperatipn and recovery?

do you ever get sensory issues/physical uncomfortableness with it?

how much control did you have with how it looked, like did they ask you for specific input on its appearance?

Thank you so much! I am interested in bottom surgery, and want to hear more about it from people who have gotten it, so this is rlly cool.

<3

I had the surgery performed at GRS Montreal by Dr. Brassard. GRS Montreal is a private hospital that receives a substantial amount of funding by the canadian government, but can also be paid for my non-canadians if they wish to go there. It is one of the best respected institutions in the world for bottom surgery and remains a leader in the field, offering innovations (such as keeping the bush) that other surgeons haven’t adopted yet. I chose my surgeon because he is a world leader and extraordinary skilled, and has good bedside manner. However, I am not the biggest fan of how hid pussies look compared to say those done at the same place by Dr. Laungani. However I did not go with Dr Laungani because he often sacrifices pleasure and health for a more porn-looking pussy, and also because I found him a little creepy irl. So I made a point of being very communicative with Dr Brassard about what I wanted and indeed he seemed willing to accommodate on at least some of the aesthetic desires (for instance I wanted a larger clit that he often gives).

I’ve answered in another ask what the recovery was like so check that out. As for the prep, it was fairly standard stuff for a surgery. I had to do an enima, shave the area, and reframe from drinking or eating too soon to the surgery. I also technically was supposed to stop hormones two weeks in advance, but almost all trans girls lie and say they did instead of actually doing it. After consulting with another surgeon who I highly respect, Dr Daniel Borsuk, I decided that the mental health damage done by stopping hormones before such a stressful event was a greater risk than the slightly elevated risks regarding my blood.

No I don’t get sensory issues with it or ever uncomfortable with it. I do keep it very clean and keep a close eye on my microbiome though as it can get smelly if you’re not taking good care of it, and I hate weird smells coming from my body. It’s fairly scent less if you treat it well though, same as with a cis girl.

I accidentally already answered this in my response to 1

[fablepaint]

Hi Fable, I wanted to ask a question about how you deal with drawing things to scale? My assumption is that as you draw more and more, you get better at just going with your instincts, but I was wondering if you have certain strategies to make sure the things you're drawing aren't out of scale?

Another related question: How do you go about making sure animations are drawn to the same scale consistently? (I'm not 100% sure how to phrase this second question. Hopefully, it makes sense!)

If you mean drawing characters on model, practice. Tracing models and practicing drawing stuff from life to train my eye. Noticing the differences between what I drew and real life and telling myself to pay more attention to those aspects next round.

If you mean scale like drawing a character beside a car and not having it look weird, then reference. Also logic. If the character can't physically sit in the vehicle without looking comic, then it's probably not the right size. If it doesn't look like they can use anything in the environment, then think more carefully about yourself in your environment. And note how the size of things is meant to accommodate the average person's height.

I'm very short, so that part sucks! Everything is huge to me. But I usually draw people who are taller than me, so they don't have that issue. Lucky them :3

If you mean drawing characters proportionally, then use body parts to reference their scale. Humans for example have skulls that are all roughly the same size no matter their height. There's some variation, but only at the extremes will you find a difference of say, an inch or two. Cuz our brains aren't that different in size. And the variation is usually just in jaw size more than the rest of the skull. Hormone differences also contribute to this, but again it's not really that extreme relative to say, dogs.

So if your characters look weirdly out of proportion to each other, then make sure their head sizes aren't too out of whack. That's probably why one looks like a baby and the other looks like a CLAMP character.

If they're getting wildly out of scale in every drawing, note how many heads tall the character is. IRL, humans are about 6 to 8 heads tall (or less, if you're me! And then all your characters look short cuz you kept referencing yourself in the mirror)

Hope one of those answers helps!

[omensofatimelord]

everytime I go to renew my t prescription it's a a whole palava. My doctor seems to decide to hold it hostage and threaten to have it removed and. i dont think she realises??? It's exhasting everytime. Anyway, this time it seems to have magically become non repeatable so I'll have to see her irl before i get anymore. Only problem is. Im going to run out before I see her (since our health care system is. breaking). So yeah. hopefully I can get a prescription without having to have a nurses appointment.

(for the record going cold turkey on hormones is Very Bad for you and more likely to be worse for me than whatever shes decide is maybe an issue. Even putting aside that skipping even a day fucks up my mood dramatically.)

Every single time it needs to be renewed its a god damn fight, and I need to prove that I should be aloud to take the amount that was recommended to me by an actual trained specialist. There's this attitude that my natural state is off it and therefore I need to consistently show it's universally beneficial. And if anything potentially wrong that could be remotely linked to t (like say. high blood pressure with a family history and STARTING A MASTERS) then I need to be off it. Without any consideration for other causes or just that. I have no control over whether I can continue taking it she decides she doesnt want me on it anymore.