#like ace/aro is a very real possibility

[reginaofdoctorwho]

having a brain is so goddamn stupid is this who i am is this a hormone issue is this trauma response is this the maybe neurodivergency is this just me being weird is everyone around me just not vibing

[heartless-aro]

People when a character is aromantic or aromantic coded: Wowie! They’re aroACE! Because they aren’t interested in romance! Look at how aroace they are!

People when a character is aroace or aroace coded: Isn’t it cool that this character is asexual? Asexual icon! They’re such great asexual representation :)

[teaboot]

hi. there's something i've been wondering and you give good advice so i thought to ask you. there's a lgbt community center near my work that i want to visit, but i'm aro ace and their website makes no mention of asexuality or aromantism, the center is called 'the LGBTI+ Center' with no A in sight. i'm kind of terrified of going there and being told to my face that ace and aro aren't sexualities and that i don't belong here, and i don't know how to ask 'hey do you believe ace or aro people are queer too?' ... any advice 😥 ? thank you!!

Honestly as far as popular recognition goes AroAce identities are still pretty new for a lot of folks- I'd say it's fully possible that people there just aren't aware of them yet, but if you do choose to heck it out and they're willing to reject you for being the wrong kind of queer then frankly you'll know who to avoid at the very least.

But also IRL queer communities are typically NOT like the internet experience- enough real actual people who have been told to their faces that they aren't actually whatever they are know not to be dicks about things they don't get, and those who haven't figured that out either glom together into a sad little crank pile or get weeded out of social events for being goddamn miserable to be around.

In my experience most groups like that are pretty chill but idk prepare for the worst and hope for the best is usually a safe go-to- bring a friend, if you can! (Though I'd say inclusion of the "+" in there is a pretty good green flag- it kinda acknowledges that there are more real queer identities than would otherwise fit on a sign, right?)

Also idk, I figure I might be aroace myself maybe but we haven't figured that one out yet

Def a valid ID tho no question there 👌

[hoardingpuffin]

Okay friends. Romans. Countrymen. I wish to yell about my bird and the most recent lore, so. Spoilers below the cut.

WE FINALLY GOT THERE! VIRWOOD NATION, HOW ARE WE FEELING?

God, I am so excited to finally have gotten there. Connor and I pretty much decided after the very first time we did lore together that we wanted Virwood to be a thing and it's finally here!

One thing that was very very important to me [actually obviously it was important to us both but I don't wanna talk for Connor, so I'll focus on my end of things for the time being] was to portray these birds' aro-ace-spec identity truthfully.

Elwood is demiromantic and that, mixed with the fact he is just not really used to the idea of being loved or even wanted, really was gonna impact any relationship they were gonna have. Before he got to Brightstep he didn’t ever really consider having friends or family a possibility, let alone having a partner, so when he figured out he liked Virgil that was really terrifying for them. His experience with love, love of any kind, was limited to reading about it, and he didn’t even plan on telling Virgil. I think his plan probably was to just bury it for the time being - and then Virgil was presumed dead for a week. Not that Elwood nessecarily believed that, but they also didn’t not believe it. He simply clung onto inaccceptance - if he didn’t accept the option of Virgil being gone, then maybe it wasn’t real.

And then Virgil showed back up in the library, and confided in Elwood about the void sickness, and suddenly a mess of feelings - love and fear and worry - bubbled over and even though Elwood didn’t mean to confess, he indirectly did by blurting out the one solid truth he came to realize over the previous week sitting in Virgil's office, not talking to anybody, just alone with their own thoughts. He would not accept a world that Virgil was not in.

I didn’t want Elwood confessing to be like... him just saying "I love you" or "I'm in love with you" or "I like you" - those are things he feels, but he doesn't know how to articulate how he feels a lot of the time. This is heavily based on how my experience with the combination of being autistic and demiromantic impacts how I process and experience emotions. Sometimes I know the word for an emotion, but it's not enough. One word does not even get close to describing how emotions feel. And I wanted to express that with Elwood. He does love Virgil, but to them I don't think the word has the same weight as saying that Virgil is kind and a good person that they refuse to live without. Describing how an emotion feels, what he thinks, how he experiences being around Virgil is more impactful to him than just saying one small four-letter-word.

I loved seeing everybody's reactions to the lore and I am sending you all hearts and I am so excited to get to keep telling Elwood's story and to create some depiction of aroacespec relationships that I can confidently say feel truthful to how I experience those identities.

💕💕💕💕💕

Also obviously I am excited for the Angst. Void sickness makes brain go brrrrrr fr fr.

[cr-aspec-fest]

CR Aspec Fest - Info & FAQs!

The Critical Role Aspec Fest is a month-long fanwork fest (with a prompt for each week) celebrating aromantic-spectrum and asexual-spectrum experiences!

Schedule and Prompts

WEEK 1 (Feb 1st-7th): Aro-spec

WEEK 2 (Feb 8th-14th): Ace-spec

WEEK 3 (Feb 15th-21st): Unconventional relationships

WEEK 4 (Feb 22nd-28th): Free week! Whatever your heart desires.

FAQs

(if something isn't answered here, please feel free to send an ask or message!)

Can I make something about a character being demisexual or demiromantic or (insert other label)? Can I make something about a character who's straight?

Absolutely - please do! Aspec is a very broad umbrella term, and this event is all about celebrating a variety of experiences that aren't well-represented in media. If it feels right to you, go for it. I'm not going to exclude any works from the fest just because they aren't relatable to me.

What types of fanworks can I make for the fest?

Anything! Be that fanfiction, fanart, meta, gifsets, edits etc. - everything is welcome! If you're writing fanfiction, you're encouraged to post to the AO3 collection here.

Which Critical Role characters can I make fanworks about?

Anyone in anything they've streamed - so the main campaigns, EXUs, Candela Obscura, Daggerheart or other oneshots!

Do I need to be aspec to join?

Definitely not, as long as you're coming in with the mindset of being respectful of our experiences. For one, I'm aromantic but not ace-spec - so making works about ace-spec experiences is naturally going to be more difficult for me, but entirely doable with a little bit of research! I think it's a great way to learn about others.

Why February? Why a whole month?

Yes, there are plenty of aspec weeks hosted in other fandoms, which are great and the inspiration for this event! But personally, I am both slow and busy, so making just one thing per week is much more achievable for me. I chose February because Aromantic Awareness Week is the week after Valentine's day, and this fest was originally going to take place during that time. I'm also unaware of any other fandom events happening in February (although please let me know otherwise, just for my own interest!). The fact that February splits so nicely into 4 whole weeks is an added bonus!

Would you like people to share around the existence of this fest?

(Okay, maybe this one's a bit of a cheat.) Yes please! Even if you don't plan on taking part, getting eyes on the existence of this event would be wonderful. This is the first fandom event I've ever hosted, and I don't have a huge platform among fic writers, who are likely the largest contingent of nerds (lovingly) who'd be interested in taking part in an event like this.

Other Rules

Please don't bash any ships or headcanons you don't like! Part of the fun of fandom is seeing the broad range of possible interpretations, and I'd always rather foster a sense of community rather than opposition.

Suggestive, NSFW and whump content is fully allowed, but must be tagged correctly for whatever platform you're posting on.

Fanworks should be focused on aspec experiences or characters, but other topics or characters can totally be included, and these experiences don't have to be super clear or well-labelled in-text (gods know that real-life experiences are often opaque and confusing) - it's your intention that matters. This is up to your discretion, really. As with the rule of thumb for AO3 tagging - if someone was viewing this for aspec content, would they be disappointed? If so, you can always rework it, or post it outside of this fest.

This account will be reblogging every fanwork made for the fest - just remember to tag us, and use the #CRAspecFest tag! If you don't have a tumblr account and want a post about your work to be included, send a message.

There'll be more posts on this account with ideas for how to approach the prompts, plus reminders at the start of each week, tagged #CRAspecFestPosts. All submission reblogs will be tagged #CRAspecFestWorks.

[crow-ur-beloved]

various jrwi headcanons because the worms in my brain (potential autism) wont shut up. no real plot spoilers except for one, but its marked :]

the suckening:

shilo is like vampire immunocompromised, which added to the pile of reasons his mom used to keep him inside the castle because she didnt want him to immediately get 37 different diseases and Die. (if vampires can have allergies then id like to think they can also get sick. i dont actually know if thats possible in the vtm system but i dont care they can in my heart)

genderfuck/genderpunk afab emizel. i feel like thats the only label he'd use, if he had to have one. i dont think hed label his sexuality because he wants to be an enigma. but he Definitely likes men.

bizley said in the qna something that can Only let me think of shilo as aromantic. maybe aro And ace... i dont remember what he said exactly aughhgh i wish i did...

shilo fidgets with his hands like all the time. his mother and uncle tried to get him to stop and sit still because it wasnt very princely and whatnot but my boy needs a fidget toy. i think hed go craaaazy with an infinity cube

i feel like me saying arthur bennett is a bisexual doesnt even count as a headcanon like i think thats just a given. i feel like itd be more surprising if i said i thought he was straight. all beautiful beautiful vampire men have to be lgbtq. its the law actually

arthur never officially broke up with mary. mans just Left one day without warning. probably left a note that said "sorry. -arthur" on it. i doubt he had it in him to say goodbye to her face or his reasoning for it (he thought hed inevitably hurt her because of what he is and what he did to the people he loved in the past, because bad luck seems to follow him everywhere... oughh he makes me ill). he definitely used finding a new lead on anya somewhere else in the country as a good reason to dip. at least, as good a reason as it couldve been for him.

maybe controversial but i 100% think arthur and magnus had a one-night stand at the beginning of their relationship, before magnus met jerome, and they never talked about it again and pretend it never happened. cannot explain how real this is to me.

riptide:

ftm chip who 100% innately knew he was a dude since the moment he could think. like when the black rose pirates picked him up, he got confused when they started referring to him as a girl at first. probably never got The Talk from them, so was Very confused when he hit puberty. Reuben reluctantly helped him steal to pay for top surgery.

since tritons live at the bottom of the ocean, they would have eyes that are far more sensitive to light to allow them to see better since little light gets all the way down there. gillion was Immediately blinded by the sun when he surfaced and still gets headaches from how bright it is in the oversea, but they've gotten better the longer he's been up there. tritons are built to adapt to all kinds of conditions, so his eyes have slowly been getting a darker bluish-purple the longer he spends above the ocean; they were originally more of a light blue-grey.

in tandem with the last one, chip thinks hes either going crazy or a bad friend because he Swears gill's eyecolor is different than last week but how could that be possible, thats not just something he can do, right? why would he be able to do that???

if gillion gets knocked onto his back without warning he does that thing that sharks do where they get paralyzed for a bit when they get flipped upside down. its scary because he can see everything but cant do anything. he also definitely forgot to tell chip and jay about this fact and scared the Shit out of them the first time it happened around them.

gillion can also change his sex like some fish can. its the reason he can lay eggs. i think this makes it safe to say genderfluid/nonbinary/generally trans gillion tidestrider is highly possible and even probable in this headcanon. what im saying is t4t fish n chips.

not to headcanon all my favs as trans but i cant help it. it is the highest honor i can bestow upon them. anyways. mtf jay ferin. ava always knew and was the first person jay came out to. jay was also 100% named jayson after her father and went by jay most of her life anyway as a nickname and just decided to stick with it instead of picking anything else. may was always very openly-supportive of her. jayson was as supportive as a generally strict, overbearing, unsupportive-in-everything father can be. jay totally came out to him and the first thing he said to her was something like, "as long as it doesnt interfere with your navy training," and may promptly kicked him under the table and made him say something nice.

kiras trans too btw. she came out before jay and helped jay discover she was trans. and that she liked women.

(spoilers for 109 and beyond) chip can't entirely remember what he looks like. everytime he focuses on the illusion of hiding that hes practically just a skeleton now, it changes just a bit. freckles in the wrong places, the wrong shade of orange for his flame tattoos, too much light in his eyes, too much muscle on his arms. jay notices it but cant bring herself to say anything. she knows the illusion is meant to keep everyone from worrying, but, everytime she sees something off about it, she just remembers what he really looks like underneath, and that somehow feels worse.

blood in the bayou:

all these bitches gay as hell. kian is pan. rands got a lot of internalized homophobia. rolan probably too. its the 80s, man.

apotheosis (haven't finished it yet so idk how true these'll be lol):

agender rumi. godbless.

also rumis a theater kid. he got the lead in every musical he auditioned for because he could literally just shapeshift. theyd make up a new identity and appearance for every role and get to know everyone on the cast and then mysteriously drop off the face of the planet as that person when the production was over and nobody would know it was them.

peter has actually tried All Kinds of things. weed. yoga. multilevel marketing schemes. you name it, big chance hes done it at least once and didnt like it. he doesnt know how he ends up in the situations to try it, either.

[sunnysam-my]

You know what, I'm so sick of how allos fans constantly wanting the main masculine characters of shows based on Neil's Gaiman stories to be in a romantic mlm relationship with one another.

Seriously, Dead Boy Detectives and Good Omens are one of the only shows with 'gay' masculine characters I relate so much to as an aroace gay guy.

Crowley and Aziraphel are such an iconic queerplatonic relationship to me, as well as to many other aro/ace folks, but to this day I see so many people complaining about them being mostly platonic. Before they kissed people constantly complained about that. After they kissed so many people ignored that it was literally non-consentual and violating, because 'omg they finally kissed!' They don't need to kiss to be a couple. They don't need to be in love romantically or sexualy to love eachother and be a romantic couple.

Now the Dead Boy Detectives came out and I felt so seen with how the main boy loves eachother, but differently. Edwin loves Charles romanticly, but Charles doesn't, he loves romanticly Crystal, yet they stay friends, even stronger friends, after the confection, because he loves Edwin more than anyone, just platonicly. It wasn't confirmed in the show Chars is queer, but most people guessed. I loved how finally the main two boys where at least one is gay and they aren't together. Instead they are just (possibly) two queer friends. This literally pretty much never happens. For some reasons us gays are stuck in "we gotta have the main gay couple" hell. Like? Excuse me, you do realise that just like boys can be just friends with girls, the gays can be just friends too, even with the same sex, right? It's a thing. We're not that desperate, please.

Edwin's exploration of his attraction and relationships is something I can really relate to, because it's not just 'two guy fall in love' type of story, like we usually get. It's actually complicated like it is in real world, and Edwin even accidentally hurt someone he saw as a friend because he didn't realise the guy loved him. He then surpringly dealed with the problem very well. Can't forget the strugle to admit to yourself you are queer, because you know you won't be able to go back after that, and you've been programmed to ignore your feelings. Where it's not awful done in a "but we're both boys 🥺👉👈" way. But actually thoughtfully done. Where it's not about others or childish, but about admitting it to yourself.

Gays don't need to love eachother romanticly to love eachother dearly!

[obsolete-stars-if]

Obsolete Stars

Port and rewrite to twine, December 2024

Latest Update post

Last updated word count: + 19k including code Read time: ~5h 45min Join the discord

Currently available: Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9, Part 1

Take me to the demo. Now.

Disclaimer: While I do have an outline, this is a first draft/proof of concept situation. There will be many errors and things like personality options, and further expansion of the world around you, will be expanded once the first draft is done. Thank you for understanding.

Intro

So let’s be real, we all read fanfiction that followed the prompt of “Help, my parents sold me off to [insert boy band/ celebrate crush/ tumblr sexy man of the week)!”, but unlike those fanfictions, you weren’t sold off to your hot crush. After a life in isolation, your father, the king, sells you off to marry the prince of another country. With nothing but two guards, you make your way to meet the dreaded fate of marriage. Along the way, you will make friends, learn the truth about your kingdom, and find yourself in positions much worse than a forced marriage. One can only pray for your survival.

In this game you will explore your kingdom and what happened to the magic realm. It will include sensitive topics, and possible explicit content in the future.

The game focuses on interpersonal relationships.

What else?

Play as Male, Female, Nonbinary (option to customize your pronouns, future trans options planned)

Date one (or more) of your 7 friends

Play as straight, queer, poly, mono, or just be aro or ace

Be a total ass to your spouse or just accept your fate

Have fun seeing your kingdom in ruins!

Get your friends killed

Get yourself killed

Ę̸̱͌̌x̷͖̕p̵̣̰͐̓e̴̡̪̓̇r̸̨̹̉͘i̷͍̮̎͝e̴͇͋̒n̸̢̼͠c̵͎̳̓̈́e̵͙͇̽̄ ̴̼̈́͒j̵̨̢̈́͆ṳ̸͝͠d̶̝̈̇g̴̨͉̀̏e̸͎͒͛m̷̳̪̓e��̙͉̃ń̶͕͋t̵̺̾ ̵̘̓́d̵̹̈́å̵͚ȳ̸͓͗

Okay cool, but what about dating?

Tarek/Takischa (he/him; she/her) (Ftm/Mtf)  (genderselectable)

Old and grumpy, TK is 15 years your senior and has been serving the palace your entire life. They are stoic and devoted to the crown, they take their job more than serious, sometimes they can even parental or possessive. Underneath their blank face, you know they care for you, and they always will.

They are 6′3 and have ashen honey hair, curly and cutting off just above their eyes. Pale green eyes set deep against their ivory skin. They hide almost all of their skin with layers of clothing.

(Great if you have parental issues.)

Samuel/Samira (he/him; she/her) (Ftm/Mtf) (genderselectable)

Young and curious, Sammy is just a year younger than yourself, they can be naive and easy trusting. They’re optimistic and want to impress you and all their friends. Sammy has a lot to learn, and they’re more than eager to do so. With enough care and time, Sammy will grow into a great protector.

Sammy is 5′9 with very short black hair. Against their warm beige skin tone, their monolidded eyes are a deep reddish brown. They wear simple robust clothes.

Sammy is ace and sex neutral.

(Great if you don’t enjoy angst)

Alia (she/they) (afab)

A quiet person, she keeps to herself, but always stays polite, she is a shrine maiden and TKs friend. She is a peacemaker at heart, and tries to deescalate every situation. She would be considered one of the strongest magic users, if she would ever use it. She is about six years your senior.

Alia is 5′3 and has bronze hair that is cut into a short wolf hairstyle. Blue eyes against satin freckled skin. She wears a lavender dress, with white clothing to cover her arm.

Alia is ace and sex repulsed.

(Great if you like slow burn)

Sascha (He/they) (Ftm)

He is about ten years older, but that can be quickly forgotten by how charming, egotistical and even cowardly he can act. He is not only a danger to you and your friends, but themselves too. He pulls danger from beyond your understanding into your orbit. He is a teasing smart ass that isn’t above blackmailing or hurting anyone. Not to forget that he committed the highest crime there is, stealing a magic companions.

They are 6′1 and have long grey-white hair that falls to his hips. He has very pale skin and ice blue eyes. He wears high quality clothes, and a golden jacket that fades into a deep red.

Sascha is ace and sex positive.

(Great test of your patience.)

Kate (she/her) (Mtf)

Just a few years older than you, she is noble and a healer, she is a loud and loving personality. With teasing smile, she cares deeply about everyone’s well-being, but will never be above calling anyone out.

She is 6′0, her chocolate goddess locs fall beneath her shoulders, the curls fading into a pink color. Dark deep brown eyes against warm yet ashen honey skin tone. She wears pink toned dresses and many accessories.

(Great if you like women.)

Mikhail (he/they) (amab)

The prince of Riag, your spouse, and the second general. His easy going and considerate personality makes it hard to grasp, that he is celebrated by his own soldiers and nobles of his country, deeply feared by anyone outside his country. A war criminal for his country. Beloved warrior, lover of war. He is only a few years your senior.

Mikail is 5′7 and their dark brown hair would fall to his shoulders, if it wasn’t pulled back into a ponytail. The tips of his hair fading into an earthy, almost blueish green tone, matching his eyes against his cool olive skin tone. He wears short clothing due to the heat in Riag and the many training sessions they have daily.

(Great if you believe everyone deserves a second chance.)

Gigi (she/her) (afab)

She promised Judgement Day.

Gigi is 5′6 and with ash blonde hair curling around her soft face frame, cutting off just below her ears, and light brown, almost hazel eyes. She wears primarily black with orange accessories.

Unofficial official RO Art/Ref

Moodboards, color palettes, playlist for each RO here:

Maps and miscellaneous stuff:

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia” but where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss? When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet? Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be.

I got my laptop out for this, goddamn. Where would i even start?

"You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia”" This tells me everything about you, you possibly don't believe in aro/ace identities. You don't believe people can hate on, or be hateful to, aro/ace spec people. And yes I am pissed. Because it was fucked up.

I would try to justify it with "if this was transphobic/homophobia you wouldn't be acting this way" but im guess you don't care about that as you obviously don't see it the same way.

you were also probably someone who sent asks like this (but more hateful) in 2016 and before, you were probably also someone who posted and reblogged aphobic content and said it was "just a joke" later while still sending asks like this to people. Take of that anon and show your face coward.

"where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss?"

where is the accountability for the homophobia, biphobia and transphobia still spewing out of ALL lgbtqia+ spaces? Where is the accountability in the REAL world? Where is it anon? Where is the accountability for the acephobia, the arophobia and so many other "not real sexualities/gender identities" -phobias?

You saw a post about aphobia, and instead of being like "yeah that was f-ed up" or "i dont care" you went "but what about meeeeee" which is very all lives matter of you. (I am not comparing racism to homophobia, however the "what about me" bs can be summed up very easily using all lives matter as an example) For the fucking record, all spaces have assholes, all of them. On behalf of the "normal" aro/ace spec folks, i apologise for any homophobia, biphobia and/or transphobia you have experienced from us. "When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet?" This is a main aphobe talking point so thank you for doing this by the text book so i can break it down easier!

Three pages about asexual hate crimes which im sure every average cishet has to deal with (assuming their white and male) 1 2 (a booklet for asexual people to be actually fucking included) 3

An incredible interview is here but im going to quote a few things from it as theres a 99.9% chance aphobes wont click a link

"We know aromantics and asexuals have existed for as long as humans have. However, it’s only through the terminology recently going mainstream"

"Because of Freud’s influence, many of us grew up learning that our sex drive is the primary motivator of human behavior, but that isn’t the case."

"That mindset replicates itself within the community so that when a new identity emerges, or when people try to explain themselves, there is resistance and pushback from within the community with the mindset that “if we let these kinds of people in, then that will dilute the access to power and resources we have.” And it forces the community to maintain adjacency to white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, ableism and classism, all while leaving behind entire groups of people."

" Do you think there will be more identities joining the LGBTQIA+ acronym? JP: Yes. The more words we have to describe ourselves, the better we are understood."

"The biggest comparisons are the lack of visibility and exclusion from communities on the basis that they’re weird, different, othered or “don’t belong in this space.” Every queer person has experienced this narrative and as more join under the umbrella, the newbie will experience the same challenges, discrimination and misunderstandings as those who came before." and here is another article that has a quote i just live by

"When did trauma become the mark of queerness?"

but back to the aphobe ->

"Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. "

if you think queer = sex then so help me. queer does not equal sex, queer is sexuality. and guess what that is NOT always sexual. sexuality is who your attracted to, whether it be romantically OR sexually.

and Asexuality is a spectrum, some asexuals never have sex, some don't want to have sex but have had it due to trauma or peer pressure, some don't care for it, some did it for a partner but just dont care about it.

same with aromantic. Its a spectrum. By your process here, so so so so so many people are removed from the lgbtqia+ community but you couldn't possibly mean that-

"And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be."

-oh you did.

So none of these are part of the community either then? Agender, Bigender, Intersex, genderfluid, pansexual, omnisexual, Omnigender, Questioning, transgender and queer?

interesting anon.

Anyways i hope my followers enjoyed that! Let me know what you think if you finished reading all this!

Love;

An aegosexual, pansexual, aromantic, trans guy with to much fucking time on his hands.

[professorsta]

I find it funny how weird people are with the alastor shipping debate. Some people (with a very condescending tone) are stating that fandoms cannot be controlled and will ship whoever they want (true but I doubt people who are on the fandom website aren't aware of the porn rule), or people on the other side telling those who ship alastor that they are purposefully being ignorant douchebags. I think alastor is of course being side lined in his sexuality. I don't believe thats a crazy concept considering it happened to gay characters getting shipped with women, happened to lesbian characters bring shipped with men. I think at the end of the day that argument ended on "you're not a morally bankrupt person for shipping a gay man with a woman, you're just probably lacking creativity and an imagination that exceeds your personal lived experience, as well as possible prejudice/bias that you can self reflect on," (again you're not a Stupid Bigot for needing to do this. We all have our subconscious biases we need to work and reflect on). Aro/ace people have a right to their feelings lmao even if you're partially right in that alastor will still be shipped. We can feel like the fandom is ignoring Alastor's core of who he is, his richness of characteristics, and his depth to pidgin hole him into a common archetype. Which i think is a fair opinion to have. Ones sexuality is a fundamental part of who they are, and ignoring Al being aro/ace strips him partially of his canon characteristics. You don't have to defend you're entire existence if you ship alastor tho. I was in the voltron fandom when keith and shiro were being shipped, ive been in the discourse trenches and couldn't care less about fake people kissing. But i can see how, you know, when you're excluded it can get annoying, and ones blog is a place to let go when the patience well has dried up. The character aren't real, but you're fellow queer members are. And they see how easily it is for you to forgot to engage with aromantiscm. A lack of interest and compassion in understanding our views and way of navigating the world. Its not as simple as "fandoms will ship whoever they want its not important" or "anyone who ships alastor should be harassed and shamed". Its a hard knock life for all of us. Lets see other's perspectives before judging? And maybe have some understanding for those in your community who are forgotten, who are just trying to make some noise, whether is be angry, sad, or desperate, just to be heard

[aroaceleovaldez]

thoughts on leo valdez? headcdanons? i

[stares at own url] ...I'll give you one for free, lol

Aro/ace Leo.... listen. He explicitly states that he plays up his false persona in aspects that he feels are lacking in his actual personality in an effort to make people like him more, and in his POVs we get a lot of him doing acknowledged-as-nonserious joke-flirting as part of his false persona. Guy who doesn't realize he's aspec trying to overcompensate for his lack of attraction by excessively hitting on people to hide that he doesn't feel attraction towards anyone? Him wondering if he's broken in a whole bunch of ways and trying to make up for it externally while having an identity crisis about that? Something something metaphor about him wondering if cause he's a Hephaestus kid he's a little too much like a machine/robot and can't feel love or The Right Emotions In General™ because of that cause he doesn't know about aspec stuff yet (or that he's autistic)? Can anyone hear me.

Related to that: Leo landing on Ogygia (island of unreciprocated love) and meeting Calypso, who (probably through love magic) actually seems to be attracted to him? And him trying to force himself to reciprocate because he figures that's just how it's supposed to go and maybe for once he's actually experiencing romantic love? And he's so desperate for someone to like him and to feel useful to someone (re: 7th wheel)? But it fizzles out almost immediately after they leave the island, because the heart-eyes wear off for Calypso, especially once she technically no longer needs him, and Leo can't keep up trying to make himself reciprocate (and can't keep up trying to put his mask back up for her, especially now that Calypso seems to actually care about it). I am literally always thinking about this.

Short king,,, I don't care what anybody says he is NOT 5'6" that is way too tall for him. My guy is 5'5" absolute maximum. I usually place him at 5'3". Tiny guy. Made of pipecleaners. Built like Bilbo Baggins...

I've mentioned it before in a couple of places (i know [here] at least) but I did not like his fake-out death in BoO. Also I'm just mad about his dropped character arc(s) in general. My ideal substitute is that instead of dying and being revived, Festus just crashes in the woods nearby and Leo has overexerted his powers too much a la Nico's shadow stuff and is nearly dead but once they get him to the infirmary he recovers and can start working on recovering from his whole depression arc too. Also maybe he loses a leg in the crash so he can match his dad just for funsies, and so that there's some amount of consequence to his sacrifice to make up for him not dying (not like in canon there were any consequences to him dying and being revived anyways...). Also something something accidental Hiccup HTTYD joke. Leo with a prosthetic is always fun. More Hephaestus kids with prosthetics.

I am very amused by the concept of Leo never having any romantic attraction to Hazel at all, possibly even negative romantic attraction once he finds out she dated his great-grandpa (especially since in canon like 90% of his thoughts about Hazel are just kind of appreciative and genuinely thinking she's really cool, if a little confusing at first), and Hazel pretty quickly gets over her side of things once she gets used to the fact that this is Definitely Not Sammy, he just Looks Like Sammy (and does not actually act like Sammy, that's just a fake persona that is eerily similar by coincidence. Real Leo is actually quite reserved and not so much of a vocal goofball most of the time). So they're just besties after their mutual weird Sammy vision and understanding the deeper sides to each other and are each other's person they're most comfortable letting their guard down around cause they've formed that level of trust. Except Frank's over in the corner seething cause he thinks this is a love triangle but he's the only one who thinks that. Leo just thinks Frank hates him for the general reasons he thinks everybody hates him (which is just an assumption he's kind of used to and expects from people, so he does not question it at all). Hazel knows Frank thinks Leo is trying to steal her from him but she's having trouble trying to keep the two of them from nearly killing each other. It's a very homestuck auspistice dynamic.

Leo and Frank eventually work out their stuff and become very good friends to meeee... let them bond over their mutual fear of fire and dead mom trauma! they have so many parallels and I want the two of them and Hazel to be a funky cute little trio!

Dragonkin Leo! That boy is a dragon!!!! I usually say his stuff is kind of spiritual origin (he doesn't really know how to explain it other than his soul is just a dragon) versus like Jason being a wolf therian with a more psychological origin (being raised by an immortal wolf pack rubbed off on him) (rip Piper being the only non-alterhuman in their trio LMAO). I imagine whatever type of dragon he is probably is very similar to Festus, which is part of why Leo clicks with Festus so quickly - he just sees himself in Festus and it's very comforting to him. He definitely makes himself some fun 'kin gear, like a nice weighted tail and wings and claws to try and help his phantom shifts feel a lil less wonky. Also him having dragon talon weapons just sounds cool. He also totally makes gear for any other alterhuman demigods.

[ckret2]

Hi, found you through your Hazbin fic "You've Got A Face for Radio" and just. I've already left a comment on the ao3 about the fic in particular, but I also wanted reach out to another aro ace person, because while I do think I am on the ace spectrum, I am still kind of figuring things out. I've talked to a few people about not experiencing attraction, at least in the form most people do, and what they say almost always boils down to "you'll know it when you feel it" and "maybe you've felt it but repressed it subconsciously", which, I know they mean well but, it's not what I think is the case. I'm just. Kind of stuck on the enjoying NSFW stuff if it's fictional characters bit. What even classifies as sexual attraction anyway? Who defines it when it can vary from person to person?

Anyway, I hope I'm not being a bother, it's just that your fic gave me a lot to think. I'd have sent a dm since this might become a discussion (if you're willing) but I'm not sure what the Internet etiquette is here.

"You'll know it when you feel it" "maybe you've repressed it" lmaooo if that isn't THE MOST COMMON line questioning aces/aros get. Have you got "maybe you haven't met the right person" yet? There probably isn't an ace/aro in the world who's explored their identity without some (hopefully) well-meaning but oblivious allo saying one of those things.

When they DO mean well, it comes from a place of not being able to imagine being ace/aro; it seems more likely to most allos that the attraction is hiding rather than absent entirely. You can rest assured that anybody who says that is expressing something about their own understanding of sexuality, rather than anything about their understanding of your sexuality.

Honestly and sincerely, the "enjoying NSFW stuff if it's fictional characters" bit is what personally delayed me from identifying as ace for, like, a decade longer than it had to. "Well hey, I love thinking about sex if it's some kind of alien or robot, that doesn't seem very ace; so I must not be ace, maybe I just haven't yet met a normal real-life person who's interesting enough for me." But that kind of thinking comes from not understanding what being ace is!

Because the criteria for being ace is actually a lot lower than most people think. It's not "never thinks people are attractive," or "disgusted by sexual situations," or even "never wants to have sex." Those can be part of the experience of asexuality but they aren't necessary. (Some aces think people are attractive, just not sexually attractive! Some aces want to have sex, they just aren't sexually attracted to the people they're having it with, they're interested in the act rather than the partner! It's a spectrum!)

The litmus test I personally use for "sexual attraction," and that's worked for a lot of people I know, is this:

Have you ever looked at somebody, thought they were hot, and automatically thought to yourself that you'd LOVE to have sex with them if the opportunity ever arose? Maybe not even realistically wanted that to happen, but just felt that as a gut feeling? Just thought yeah, it'd be hot to sleep with them with the same instinctive immediate reaction that you might, say, see something delicious and think "ohhh that looks so good I wanna eat that" or see a really cool trailer and think "I SO wanna see that movie"?

That's sexual attraction. You, personally, automatically feel like you wanna have sex with somebody—possibly even a stranger!—possibly even if you know you wouldn't actually really choose to do it IRL for whatever reason—just because they're sexy.

If you haven't experienced that specific feeling before, you're almost definitely some flavor of ace.

(And even if you HAVE experienced that feeling before you might still be ace—possibly some flavor of gray-ace or demi-ace. Some people do experience that feeling, but so so very rarely that they feel like their overall experience of sexual attraction is more ace than allo. Some people experience that feeling but ONLY toward somebody they have a deep emotional connection to, whereas allos can experience that feeling toward strangers. Some people experience that feeling but if actually faced with the OPTION to have that sex they're turned off. All of these are ways to be ace. So the litmus test isn't the be-all end-all; but if that feeling has NEVER happened to you, that's probably ace.)

Based on this ask and on the comment you left me on Ao3, I'm guessing your form of engagement with sexuality is like what I wrote about in the fic: reading about characters having wild nasty sex is great, could read smut and/or smutty comics all day, maybe you fantasize about your blorbos screwing, maybe you've gotten off to these fantasies or to smut... but: all your fantasies are about somebody else having sex. Probably somebody else who isn't even real.

Are you ever in those fantasies? How do you feel about "character x reader" fics, does being y/n turn you on or does it squick you out to imagine [character] flirting with YOU? Do you ever think "wow I'D like to fuck [character]" or is it only "I wanna see [character] fuck (but I don't wanna be there myself)"? If "you" ever ARE in these fantasies, is it actually YOU, REALLY YOU, or are you just imagining the fantasy from the perspective of another character who isn't you? Do you ever have a sexual interest in the actors/voice actors, or does your sexual interest in them vanish when you aren't viewing them as their (fictional) character?

I can't tell you whether you're ace; but I can tell you that "I'm ONLY interested in FICTIONAL characters doing EACH OTHER, and I would lose interest if they were real people" is not a normal/common allosexual experience.

And if you're into micro labels, there are a couple under the asexual umbrella that describes that exact experience. The current term is aegosexual. (Older term autochorissexual; that was the current term when I learned it so I still tend to use it lmao.) It's for people whose primary experience of sexuality is fantasies that they themselves aren't part of. It's not mentioned on the page I've linked, but a LOT of aegosexuals have reported that they're specifically most into fantasies about cartoon/drawn characters and other fictional characters—the more "real" they are, the less appealing they are.

(And there's the related term "aegoromantic"—I'm focusing on sexuality here since that's mainly what the ask focused on, and also because historically I've seen less people struggle with "I don't want romance, I just enjoy reading love stories; I must be aro" compared to "I don't want sex, I just enjoy reading smut; I must be ace.")

Learning the term autochorissexual/aegosexual and why it made sense to fit under the ace umbrella is what got me over the hurdle of "oh, hey, I guess I am ace"—if you think it describes your experience, I hope it can help you too. If not, it at least shows just how varied the ace experience can be.

(I'm answering this publicly because I've seen SO MANY PEOPLE grappling with "I like FAKE sex; does that mean I can't be ace?"—many of whom have contacted me because of that fic, shocked to see someone else describe their own experiences and call it a flavor of ace—so I'm hoping this might help other questioning aces/aros! But you're also welcome to DM me!)

[always---wrong]

Okay, so I wanted to discuss the situation with Alastor, his canonical sexuality, and fans.

I have seen the two sides alot.

So one side ships Al with numerous characters and sees this as casual fun.

And the other thinks this is disrespectful cause he is ace, or Aroace.

(I believe that he is Aroace. His va said so, his character has shown no interest in romance, and Viv may have confirmed it at some point)

Now, I am sex repulsed ace and I'm aro. And I have strong opinions. Alastor is my favorite character in Hazbin Hotel, he is also the FIRST confirmed ace character I've seen. (This doesn't include subtly implied characters) Because Al is the first and I care for him he is very important to me.

My opinion is really mixed because on one side it's; yeah, it is a fandom, and fandoms ship. It's what they do. Its also kind a rude to judge someone for their favorite pairings and stuff, in my opinion.

On the other side though I'm hurt. I am a queer person with basically no rep. And I hadn't realized how upset I was by this until I saw discourse over this character. I had FORGOTTEN that it was possible to have confirmed canonical ace characters. I had gotten so used to that just being a head cannon. And not only just an ace character but also an Aroace character. And not just that but a seemingly non sex favorable ace character. I would even argue he is sex repulsed.

My real problem with all this is:

Yes, I KNOW ace characters can have sex. But do you know who else can? Literally every single allosexual character. I KNOW aros can date. But you know who else can? Everyone else. The appeal of ACTUALLY having characters with the same sexuality as me is that they would be like me. Cause I and other aces like me never, ever get stories like that. So many times in media I would be enjoying a character who had shown NO interest in sex/romance and would suddenly be partnered up with another just for the heck of it. This has happened SO many times it's not even funny. It's incredibly frustrating.

So, the point I'm trying to make is that; YES, there are aces who have sex. HOWEVER, a large number of us do not. And it's like everyone forgets that. Your not writing Alastor having sex with Angel cause your showing the vast spectrum of asexuality. Your most likely writing it cause it's sex between two hot characters. It's simply maddening.

(One thing I wanted to say was, despite the fact that Al is ace i don't think it's bad to find him attractive. He is very pleasing to look at so I understand allos finding him hot. However I'm not sure where I stand with people sexualizing him. I think I'm leaning towards, 'please don't do it'.)

Now, the worst thing though is when I'm looking for content to enjoy. When I found out Al was canonically ace I was so happy and excited. I'm pretty sure this situation wouldn't make me nearly as frustrated if it weren't for the overwhelming amount of sexual content for Al. Some would be fine. I could just scroll past it if this were the case. But it is not. Content for Al is MOSTLY sexual. That's why I don't believe people when they keep saying they aren't invalidating aces because almost every time I go looking for a fic I have to scroll for HOURS just to find few non ship fics.

I can't even use the Asexual Alastor tag because all that does is bring me to a bunch of fics where the author is like 'he's ace trust me,' then proceeds to write smut.

Why can't I even use a tag made for aces without being drowned in smut. It's so frustrating! Like I'm getting to a point where I wish the authors would stop using the tag and openly admit they made him not ace for the story. Like I know your trying to not throw away his canonical sexuality but I mean at this point I think it'd be better if you did. And if someone is going to write sex favorable ace Al then please leave it to the aces. I trust us to at least weave it into his character instead of stating it and acting like it's there when it's not.

So basically: I don't mind if you ship him, just don't say he's ace or Aroace if your neither of those in ship/smut content. I'm sick of trying to find content that isn't sex/romance in Aroace tags!

I don't want to judge people for liking a ship. But I'm really tired.

ON A DIFFERENT NOTE, I would love to see content with Al and Lucifer. Like them hating each other to like frenemies. It would be so funny.

Anyone have any platonic content with Al and the rest of the cast???

[sourveggies]

🎨🖌️ i n k 🌈📝 — Headcanons! :

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷˚꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶꒷ ˚ ꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷꒥

🧠 Diagnosis/Disorders:

Autism

ADHD

Nihilophobia (Fear of nothingness)

A weak stomache (or whatever a magical skeleton monster has- as he throws up from feeling extreme emotions & sensations)

🌈 Sexuality & Pronouns:

Aro-Ace spec. (Canon)

Pan

He / They (Canon)

✒️ Other! (detailed bc uhh I’m very cool & smart or something-):

Ink’s lack of empathy isn’t due to his soullessness or a disorder that affects his empathy level, but a lack of social understanding, Autism & is used as a subconscious coping mechanism (Some with Autism have a more difficult time understanding others. This does not necessarily mean they have a deficiency in empathy, but may have a few more hoops to leap through to understand it in certain regards)(It’s also important to note his past, immortality, job, probably witnessing numerous deaths daily & the fact he’s an Out!Code as factors on his outlook on AU’s & its inhabitants). (P.S. I just think it’d be extra fascinating!)

Ink has a secret envy for childhood (as he’s never been a child before).

Ink’s vials are like meds! (As he needs them to function, survive & regulate him & his emotions!) (I, however, do NOT view them like a drug addiction! That would imply those on meds who use them to simply function are addicted to drugs)

He has a contradictory, simultaneous inferiority/superiority complex to cope with his isolation (he still feels isolated as he’s still “outside the box” from others, more “knowing” than them, like his past in his original, unfinished AU; even if he doesn’t remember it. It still greatly affects who he is today & why he may not see others as real as himself).

He constantly paces around!

He’s a total theatre kid

He collects things he doesn’t need (plushies, shiny things, art, etc!)

His memory issues are due to his ADHD & the mental break he experienced when he tore his soul apart in the past as some can get brain damage from having a break. Also, I would imagine that tearing one’s soul would probably cause some sort of damage to someone’s being somehow.

He indulges & enjoys child-like activities whether it be for fun or to calm himself down (cartoons, plushies, etc.)

He likes the taste of burnt toast!

He’s a complete dumbass in social situations (States the obvious, can’t read the room most of the time, will crack jokes at the worst times possible, embarrass others on accident, blurt, fall on his face, break things, uncomfortable silences, talks over others, talk about things that are unrelated to the topic being discussed, etc.)

He likes clowns & mimes & doesn’t understand why anyone would be afraid of them

He has a secret “Turning Red” - like sketchbook & would die of embarrassment if anyone found or read it (Reference to the movie when Mei was under the bed)(LMFAO-)

Ink belongs to @comyet

🌈🎨🎭🗯️🖌️

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷˚꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶꒷ ˚ ꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷꒥

[femdemon]

While I'm posting about my experiences with transandrophobia, I feel like people are weird about headcanoning characters as transmasc specifically. Like, obviously, there's your regular old gender and sex based bigotry a lot of the time about headcanoning any character as being anything other than strictly cis, perisex, and gender conforming, but people who allege to be progressive and open-minded get really weird and hostile about transmasc folks specifically seeing ourselves in fictional characters.

Like, okay. I've seen people say, "If you're only headcanoning overtly feminine characters as transmasc and overtly masculine characters as transfem, and you yourself are cis or whatever, maybe you should ask yourself why and whether or not you might have some internalized binarism you need to work on." And this is true, and good to point out! But then I've seen other people take this very good and true message and do some medicalism, gender essentialist bullshit to it like, "Yeah! Stop headcanoning feminine characters as transmasc altogether! Especially if you're a gender non-conforming transmasc person who heavily relates to the character in question and see a lot of yourself in said character. Don't you wanna be taken seriously by Normal People? Don't you wanna be seen as a Real Man? You can't headcanon this character as transmasc, then. Obviously, they're a trans woman, actually, like it's practically canon. In fact, you're Committing An Erasure if you headcanon this character as any gender other than a trans woman, and this is a crime that can never be forgiven and must be punished with Shunning until you admit that you're wrong."

And, like, I'm not saying that this never happens with other headcanons, I've absolutely seen it happen with other queer identities, I just see it a lot with respect to my own gender and I feel like it's bizarrely frequent. Why exactly are people so threatened by even just the idea that a character could be interpreted as transmasc? Why do people get this heated about basically any fiction or insist that it has something to do with representation when it was never canon to begin with? Some random person online who definitely isn't the author isn't in control of the story or characters, and it does nothing to the canon for them to have an opinion or idea about it that you don't like. I know that not everybody has gotten the "fandom isn't activism" memo yet, but even still, it just strikes me as really strange to sort of gatekeep who's allowed to relate to certain characters, or even just imagine them in ways that are different from fanon.

It kind of feels a lot like that thing people do where they're like, "Oh, the aces and aros want some characters they can see themselves in, we'll just give them the aliens and robots (never humans) and such, that should be enough." And then when we're like, "Okay, yeah, I can definitely see a lot of myself in this beloved robot character," suddenly it's all, "Nooo, beloved robot character couldn't possibly be aspec! You buffoon!!! How dare you!!!" It's like, even when we do get "permission" to have headcanons and characters we see ourselves in, we still don't really have it. And then I wonder why I'm always so drawn to inconsequential background characters who contribute nothing to the plot - I've totally been conditioned into it because liking and relating to the main cast is forbidden, I guess.

I know this is a very niche, small problem in the grand scheme of things, but it bums me out. Especially since a lot of this is coming from people who consider themselves allies and stuff, and we already face so much backlash just for daring to suggest that we have unique struggles. Not even when we're having fun storytime with our fan fiction do we get a break.

[pixelkip]

Before June is over I just wanna mention some kinda shit things I've faced specifically bc I'm arospec ace (and sex repulsed) and that I don't think I've seen many other people talk about

- having any opinion at all about a sensitive topic that's sexual in nature and being told "oh well of course this bothers you so much, you're ace/sex repulsed"

(And yes I've had this done to me even by people who meant well, the treatment of asexual people like they can never handle sexual topics goes beyond obvious "but you're so innocent uwu" type shit)

- people misconstruing being ace/aro as "well you're just too focused on important things to care about that kind of thing" that's not how this works, that's now how any of this works.

- this could also be an anxiety/not getting social stuff very well thing, but the constant worry that showing any kind of affection could come off as flirting or creepy, and generally not understanding what people consider inherently sexual or romantic

- being called too sensitive or being told "well I'm sure they didn't mean it that way!" when calling something out as feeling aphobic, intentional or not. (also have had even people who mean well do this) even if something isn't meant that way I can still acknowledge that it's hurtful

- sexual shit being like half the crux of a lot of people's sense of humor. Even as someone who believes that sex might be even funnier from an ace perspective sometimes, ffs when it's such a large portion of what people find funny it gets really annoying. Not even just like high-school level humor (that I am self admitted to have LMAO) but even well thought out jokes about people's sex lives or romantic issues are so fucking dull to me a lot of the time.

- this one is gonna sound silly to a lot of people, but liking any media where sex and romance are just about never present, but nearly everything fandom wants to do with it is sexual and romantic in nature, can't have a character analysis without talking about all the implications of why this character should be shipped with this one, etc. Yea a real head scratcher what i of all people could possibly be referring to here shuttup

- might just be me but like. People not understanding that sex repulsion doesn't just mean "ewww never talk about sex around me!!!!!" But can still mean "I get uncomfortable around sexual topics even when its not specifically about me"

I just thought I'd share bc it feels really isolating sometimes, and I figured if anyone else deals with this then you're definitely not the only one