#irl at least I can make a point to actively listen when people are to talking to make it clear that I care even though I have nothing to say

[theexhaustedqueer]

The thing you guys need to understand is I am very bad at talking to people under ALL circumstances. Even friendly people are scary, full conversations are deeply stressful, words are hard, and even when I want to talk I can almost never think of something worthwhile to say. You have to understand that in this way I am like a cat. If I exist near you for any amount of time out of my own free will it probably means I’m a little bit in love with you. If I didn’t like you or, more likely, felt neutrally about you, you probably wouldn’t know I exist.

I swear I’m not a closed off asshole I’m just terrified of people and was raised to believe that unless you have something valuable to say you probably shouldn’t say anything at all, and I am a dumbass who has a good thought worth saying maybe once in every thousand or so thoughts.

Extending the cat analogue I would love for it be socially acceptable to drop dead rats at people’s feet as a sign of affection. I think it would solve a great many of my problems. To all my mutuals, this is me dropping rats at y’all’s feet— I’m very bad at talking but I swear I am trying.

[topazadine]

Avoiding therapy speak in writing

I think we all know by now that therapy speak is irritating and unrealistic, especially if you are writing in a fantasy world that doesn't even have modern psychology.

Part of the reason that it is so annoying is that it is the definition of telling instead of showing: characters are just plainly informing us of their feelings rather than making us work for a better understanding. It's cheap and boring. Instead of making your characters seem like complex individuals with their own hangups and difficulties, they seem like plot points programmed to tell us things.

But obviously, you want to put these people in situations and have them talk about it! How do you do that without sounding maudlin? Here are some options.

Listen to real arguments/conversations

I cannot stress enough how important it is to listen to how actual real human beings talk to each other during heightened emotional states. They don't have to be nasty abusers, and they don't have to be perfect angels, just everyday people doing their normal thing.

Of course, I'd hope you're not seeing people argue all the time, but if you do happen to see it, listen carefully and notice how people actually address their problems. Think back to tough conversations that you have had, even if you wouldn't classify them as arguments. Consider how people acted and reacted to one another. Notice how normal humans talk about issues outside of therapy, even intelligent and emotionally evolved people.

I've had years of therapy, and even I do not talk in therapy ways about my issues when I'm talking to my family or friends. It just feels cheesy and fake outside of that particular setting - plus, it freaks other people out and can seem kind of manipulative. Try talking like that in a real conversation and see how uncomfortable it is. You'll understand why avoiding therapy speak is important.

Consider the character's own hangups

Just as everyone has their own unique speaking style and mindset, so do we all have our own argument styles. These are often informed by our pasts and upbringing; they are as varied as our own histories. However, there are a few different options.

Someone with a happy upbringing may be more assertive and willing to address their problems because they had that demonstrated to them as children.

A spoiled child will grow up to be a demanding adult who refuses to give any quarter.

Those who got yelled at a lot as children may shut down and fawn to avoid getting hurt.

Someone who grew up in a violent household may mimic that behavior and get incredibly aggressive when upset.

Individuals whose parents didn't teach them emotional regulation will lash out and get loud.

Manipulative people may stay very calm and gaslight the other person, or they may get hysterical to garner sympathy and make people focus on comforting them.

Someone who has gone to therapy may revert to their original argument style, or they may imperfectly apply what they have learned in a way that feels a bit unnatural. They may start out with rage, then force themselves to calm down through grounding techniques.

People who have been coached through previous emotional outbursts could demand a time out, then fail to actually calm themselves down.

Some may refuse to acknowledge they are upset and insist, in increasingly forceful terms, that they are fine.

Others may get quiet or crack a joke to ease the tension, but it doesn't really help.

Keep each confrontation short

IRL, emotional confrontations are generally not that long. They don't go on for hours and hours, though it can feel that way. No one is going on and on about their feelings and sharing every little detail of how they feel (at least not that I know of personally, maybe other people are different).

Even the worst arguments I have had, the real nexus of the argument was maybe an hour or two, though the fallout lasted much longer. I'd say there was an hour maximum of real, active confrontation, preceded or followed by hours/days/weeks of simmering frustration.

Why? Because arguments are exhausting. You don't have the energy for that in the heat of the moment. Yes, feuds and fights can last years, but each actual confrontation is short.

For longer, more serious issues, hash it out over a few sessions rather than all at once. It's rare to get everything out of the way immediately unless the characters already have a strong, loving relationship.

Show incongruencies

Especially for more reserved people, they will likely have their emotions leaking all over the place but won't actually say anything. As such, focus on body language while keeping the conversation more focused on the plot. For example, Character A might be crying but still trying to argue their point about whatever is going on.

Address physical complaints instead of emotional ones

In many cases, people will use "I'm tired" or "I didn't sleep well" or "I'm not feeling great" as shorthand for whatever is actually bothering them. It relieves pressure by not making them talk about upsetting matters while still addressing their discomfort in some form.

You should also consider the fact that some people can't connect physical sensations to feelings, so they may genuinely feel ill and not really understand why. This is especially common in people who can't emotionally regulate or have been through trauma.

For myself, I tend to somatize my feelings, so I might not feel upset, but I will feel physically sick. My stomach will hurt, my chest will get tight, or I'll get a headache, but my emotional state will seem calm. This isn't all that unusual, and many people experience this to different degrees.

As such, you can have your character say that their stomach hurts, or that they have a headache and can't discuss this anymore, or that they need to go lie down because they're dizzy. If we know they're relatively healthy, this can be a clue that they're getting overwhelmed but either cannot pinpoint their emotions or don't want to discuss them.

Let characters advance and retreat

A lot of the time, someone will address a scary emotion and then retreat again, sometimes over a period of hours, days, or even weeks. This is normal: most of us don't have the emotional fortitude to forge ahead through something difficult all in one go. Character A may say something vulnerable, then change the topic, laugh it off, say they're done discussing it, or even leave the situation.

Leave emotions partially unaddressed

Again, it's rare for someone to spill out everything they're feeling all in one go. As such, have Character A address the most important thing - or the least important, depending on their level of emotional maturity - and let it be done for then.

They might say their small piece, but when someone tries to probe deeper, they don't have an answer, or they get "stuck" on that one emotional level and cannot go further.

If Character B keeps pushing, then they may get incredibly upset and push back, or retreat.

Have Character B point out the feelings

Works especially well if the other character is a close companion or a parental figure. Often, people who know us really well will have better insight into our emotions than we do. Or, we might have good insight into our emotions but are still too afraid to open up. Having Character B point out the issue gives Character A grace to be more honest.

I can't tell you how many times I've been really upset, so I've distracted from the issue by getting angry about something completely different. Then, my mom will gently point out that I'm not actually crying about my new plastic cup being broken or whatever; I'm actually upset about XYZ. In that moment, I realize I've been caught out and admit that yes, that's what I'm really upset about.

Have Character A address it with a third character

Who among us hasn't gone to someone else to talk about our feelings? Having a third party serve as a sounding board is normal. Sometimes, Character A will feel such catharsis from this conversation that they don't address it as thoroughly with Character B.

Of course, you can use this to your advantage and create more tension if the third character gives bad advice or is biased.

Remember that just because the third party responded well does not mean that Character B does. You also have to avoid omniscience and remember that Character B wasn't privy to that conversation.

Have one confrontation be a stand-in for a larger one

I always think about the "The Iranian Yogurt Is Not the Issue" post when I think about this. Often times, things like not doing the dishes or whatever aren't actually the big deal: it's lack of boundaries, communication, or respect. A minor argument can be shorthand for a larger one that is too challenging for the characters to tackle.

This isn't just creating drama for the hell of it, though; it's about exploring the larger issues without making the characters lay it out on the table. A good reader will be able to see it's not about the Iranian Yogurt as long as you set up the relationship well.

Currently, I am writing a story where Uileac and his sister Cerie go to rescue Uileac's husband, Orrinir. On the way there, Uileac idly comments on how he wonders where a waterfall comes from because he's trying to distract himself from thinking about the fact that his husband is kidnapped and possibly dead.

Cerie, being pretty wound up too, starts arguing with him about it because she's like "why is this relevant? We're kind of too busy to think about geology right now!" Uileac gets annoyed at her for being so aggro, and she gets annoyed at him for being so irreverent. Both of them are upset about something completely different, but they're too scared and panicked to actually address that, so they release their frustrations by complaining about waterfalls.

Those bad vibes have to go somewhere, but neither of them are very good at talking about their feelings (though very good at stuffing them down). As such, they take the pressure off by sniping at one another. You've probably done this too, when you get into a dumb argument about something absolutely pointless because there's something you don't feel strong enough to discuss.

There's also the fact that if you're mad at someone about something but feel it's too stupid or petty to discuss, that frustration will leak out and everything else they do will annoy you, leading to a bunch of irrelevant arguments.

Use "reaffirmation" gestures

I talked about this in a different post, but after an argument, the "make up" stage doesn't always involve going "ohhh I forgive you" and big hugs and kisses, especially when the two characters aren't emotionally mature.

Instead, Character A makes gestures that reaffirm the relationship. This could be offering to do something Character B needs, making plans for later, or changing the topic to discuss something the other character cares about ("how are your cats doing?") etc.

Note that these "reaffirmation" gestures aren't the same as the cycle of abuse. This is more when two characters have had a difficult emotional conversation but aren't really sure how to continue being emotionally open, so they revert to something safer that still shows they care. They're not over-the-top gestures either, but more a special attention to something the other person loves. Knowing what the other person loves also demonstrates the depth of their relationship.

As always, I can't tell you what to do with your writing.

You are the crafter of your own story, and if you want people to talk like therapists for whatever reason, that's your choice. However, we want characters to feel like real people, and most real people don't lay it all out on the table every single time they're upset. If they do, they might be trauma vomiting, which is icky in and of itself.

Healthy communication isn't always perfect communication. People can have strong, loving relationships and still get things wrong - we're human. Having people calmly and rationally and easily talk about their feelings every single time is not only kind of boring, but it also feels weird, because unless we're primed to discuss those difficult topics and know we're perfectly safe, we're not going to do that.

People don't even do that in therapy, where they are paying for the service of talking about their feelings! Therapists also don't always do that IRL!

We're humans, and your characters need to feel like humans as well. That means letting them be imperfect communicators and using context clues rather than making them do all the work for the reader.

If you liked my advice, consider purchasing my book, 9 Years Yearning, for $3!

[diamondcitydarlin]

'time for round two of making teenagers uncomfortable on the internet'

Listen. No one is shipping beetlebabes for the sole purpose of 'making teenagers uncomfortable on the internet'. Unless the adults in question are your parents/guardians, none of them are responsible for the stuff you might see while being 'on the internet'. None of them are responsible for your discomfort from what you might see. None of them are obligated to stop having fun in their own fandom spaces simply because a teenager exists 'on the internet' who doesn't like it (who is also perfectly capable of staying out of places they don't want to see, I PRESUME) no more than adults at a bar are obligated to not drink because there are people under the age who can't (fittingly, most bars in the US don't admit people under the age at all). You know who is responsible? Depending on your age of teenagedom, it's either to some extent your parents/guardians, but also you. Yeah, sweetie, you. I've been on the internet since the late 90's when I was NINE and I'm here to tell you right now that learning how to cultivate your own experience online is an extremely important tool. If you don't learn now how to keep your nose out of things that you don't like, you're going to have a very hard time filled with round-about arguments and constant drama and maybe worse when you could just be having fun with the things you do like and ignoring the stuff you don't. You see, my sweet summer child, feeling 'discomfort' about something benign does not inherently give you the right to shit all over whatever it is that made you uncomfortable or make up insinuations about the consenting adults participating in it. Unless there are people dropping shipping art into your inbox against your will or something (there aren't) it actually is none of your business at all, and doesn't concern you in the least. Like my goodness, you kids have ALL kinds of protections you can use to weed out things you don't want to see that we didn't have back when I was a 'teenager on the internet', blocking, blacklisting, browser extensions that can help with that, etc, and yet somehow we seem to have better understood back then how to mind our own business and stay out of fandom spaces we didn't want to be in. Nowadays all I see are children running into the devil's sacrament uninvited and claiming to be personally affected by said sacrament when all of us are wondering what the fuck they're doing there in the first place when there are clear signs denoting what sacrament this is. You don't have to see the movie, you don't have to see shipping content, you don't have to be 'exposed' to any of this at all; in this day and age, you choose to be, which makes any discomfort you feel as a result of that your own responsibility. The only person making 'teenagers uncomfortable on the internet' in this specific instance are the teens themselves.

And again, a little crash course in history here since the education system probably failed you, but using simply the existence of children as an excuse for why adults can't do consenting adult activities with each other has historically been used as a way to demonize and weaponize violence against marginalized groups. Yall are literally just stealing pages from homophobic/misogynistic/racist/transphobic conservative playbooks. That may not be your ultimate goal in coming after fandom spaces, but it's where that kind of behavior and thinking always ends up in the end. If you think alt-right entities won't harness that sense of youthful moral outrage for their own ends then I have a bridge to sell you.

Anyway, point being, no random adult on the internet or IRL is responsible for you. Random adults on the internet or IRL are not your parents/guardians. They have no obligation to eschew their own interests just because kids are wandering into places where they shouldn't. I honestly worry for any child on the internet who thinks this way, because there are absolutely predators out there that will abuse this sense of 'every adult is responsible for my comfort'. They aren't, and I'm sorry the adults in your life that actually are responsible for you failed you so much as to not teach you otherwise. Unlearn this now before you get hurt, please.

[imsoveryveryconfusedatlife]

Tag Game: Writeblr Interview

Thanks @tildeathiwillwrite for the tag here!

I hesitate to tag as many people as this is one of those things where there’s no point in doing it twice but tagging:

@xenon-writes-sometimes, @rumeysawrites, @rivenantiqnerd, @leahnardo-da-veggie, @kaylinalexanderbooks, and an open tag!

This is going to be a long post so I’m adding a break here

Short stories, novels, or poems?

I cannot stand most poetry. Maybe it’s because I’m still in school and have to analyse it but I can’t deal with how abstract it can be. I want to write more short stories but my one and only WIP is probably gonna be closer to a novel, if and when I finish it.

What genre do you prefer reading?

Fantasy, especially high fantasy. Murder mysteries and detective stories in general are a close second. Most other genres are reserved for spin offs or fan fiction.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

I make a plan that I then actively ignore my OCs force me to not use

What music do you listen to while writing?

Most of the time I listen to the one Reddit podcast I’ve listened to every episode of because I can zone out and I don’t miss anything important. This one is a bit of a bad habit because it distracts me, but EPIC the musical is my current hyperfixation and I listen to that constantly as well.

Favorite books/movies?

Because I have the reading comprehension of an 11 year old we have Murder Most Unladylike (I would die for this series), its spin off the Ministry of Unladylike Activity, The Hunger Games but only really the first book, How to train your dragon but only really the Netflix show and the first movie (the books are great but I haven’t read them in 7 or 8 years and because they’re so different from the movies I’m not sure if I’d like them anymore)

Any current WIPs?

Gold, Greed and Gods which is a vaguely Victorian fantasy about the main cast trying to find a cult before it engulfs the world in literal chaos. And also magical shenanigans and timeline fuckery

Create a character description of yourself:

Honestly I’d rather not. Sorry!

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

No it kinda weirds me out. The closest I’ll get is asking my one irl mutual about their experiences with stuff that I (as a someone who is cishet and perisex) do not understand

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I’m not the biggest fan of angst so no. If anyone was gonna die you aren’t allowed to get attached to them so I don’t get attached them hence why the only dead characters in my WIP die before or very soon after it begins. That isn’t to say my characters aren’t affected, but I can only imagine any potential readers will be neither here or there about those characters.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

I don’t really like hot drinks but I hate the smell of coffee so tea?

Slow or fast writer?

A secret third thing which is I wrote 5000 words in 3 hours yesterday so for atleast the next week I won’t be able to string a sentence together

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

A healer would be fun? I wanna be a doctor so I guess that’s close enough. I cannot imagine I’d survive very long without my glasses/ contacts in any case.

Most fav book cliche:

Not really a book cliche but horny bard memes will never not be funny. I also love juxtaposition between characters, if done tastefully, eg. Ray of sunshine is best friends/ dating the grumpiest character alive. I also just love ray of sunshine characters in general. Also, calm/ happy go lucky/ mentor figure characters who have really high body counts and it’s just kind of an open secret are really fun.

Least favorite cliche:

A lot of romance tropes are tied for last place: miscommunication, any reference or idea that firsts=better (virginity, first loves, one true love etc.), not like other girls

Also love triangles. The only good love triangles are the ones that end in polycules. No exceptions (/hj)

I probably just have a problem with like most romance stories

Favorite scene to write?

I love when characters reference unique worldbuilding things that I actually had to think about. Similarly, if I feel I’m doing them well, exposition dumps can be fun.

Reason for writing?

Because blirbos in my head yearn for freedom

On a more serious note, I’ve gotta do something healthy with all this escapism and maladaptive daydreaming.

—

Questions:

Short stories, novels, or poems?

What genre do you prefer reading?

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

What music do you listen to while writing?

Favorite books/movies?

Any current WIPs?

Create a character description of yourself:

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Are you kill happy with your characters?

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Slow or fast writer?

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Most fav book cliche:

Least favorite cliche:

Favorite scene to write?

Reason for writing?

—

Thanks again for the tag!

[generalchelseamayhem]

Unpopular Opinion: "Men suffer from toxic (you know what goes here) and Women suffer from sexism" is a fancy way of saying women are allowed to snap from trauma, whereas men should blame themselves and make sure they're never a danger to anyone else.

And boy, does society love that last one. Victim blaming at its finest.

This ask hits kind of a personally relevant note for me, so apologies if this is longer than you expected.

I think there's some kind of logic behind this, like people will say this about a woman on the assumption that she has exhausted every possible avenue of help, and found no help forthcoming, whereas they will say the other thing about a man on the assumption that help has been offered to him and he flatly refused to take it. Men will do anything rather than go to therapy! etc. etc.

And I think what this misses is the ways that everyone, including these same people, can even unknowingly disincentivise men from actually getting help.

I haven't told anyone I know IRL about this, but yesterday, I started therapy. It's costing me money out of my own pocket because Medicare only covers about 65% of the full price of an appointment—and that's if you've already gone to a GP and paid more money to get a referral. I digress. The point is, every single one of my friends I opened up to about my problems was like "Dude. Seek help. Now." It kinda made me feel ashamed for opening up about my problems in the first place, to anyone other than a trained professional. Yes, there was also a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th place, so I can understand how it might have been hard to deal with, but the feeling remained.

Eventually, it reached the point where I could no longer justify my "self-improvement using only myself" regimen against my punishingly restrictive budget. Not only because my ability to cope reached an end, but because my budget finally got a bit more relaxed. So I listened to my friends and booked an appointment with my GP, then with a psychologist she referred me to.

First impressions are everything, and I have to be frank, I don't think I built much of a rapport with this guy. But the main issue was—

If you've ever had mental health issues, what's the one thing that always prevents you from seeking help?

Correct, that your problems are tiny and not worthy of consideration next to the grand scale of human suffering. Why should the psychologist be helping you, when there are actively suicidal people or people in prison or abuse survivors, all with way worse problems than you, whom he could be helping instead?

People around you will insist that all mental health struggles are valid, that there isn't, like, a minimum standard for how desperate you need to feel before you seek help.

I wasn't really sure how to start, so I just told him the story of what happened to me during the pandemic. The way my ex and I drifted apart, the way I sacrificed some of my needs during that time to make sure hers were met, the financial pressure I felt from my parents cajoling me into buying a house, other seemingly close friends (at least 3 of them?) ghosting me without the slightest explanation.

And all he could say at the end, when I'd run out of things to talk about, was "What do you want me to do here?"

I can understand why a question like that might be asked in therapy settings, but hearing it so bluntly like that... it genuinely made me feel like my problems were insignificant on a scale I hadn't imagined. It was said in a way that suggested there was nothing here for us to latch onto, nothing for us to improve upon, just me whining about stuff that happened ages ago. It hurt.

Obviously I didn't have much of an answer to give. If I knew what to do about the things that were making me feel sad, I would have done them myself without paying $60 for a middle-man to tell me to do them. Broadly speaking, I would like the bad feelings to go away and my awkward behaviour in certain situations to stop! Was that not obvious? You're the expert! If you listened to me talk for 40 minutes and you don't think there's a clear and obvious way forward, what does that say about the scope and severity of my problems?

I don't think I'll stick with this guy. My point here is, I think people should be a lot more careful about recommending therapy to men, because they can be so careless about dismissing men's problems out of hand with the other side of their mouth. Whether that takes the form of mocking people for male tears, or chastising them because women aren't your therapists and can't be expected to perform that kind of emotional labour, or any other of a number of subconscious biases that still insist "Your problems aren't actually real."

To be quite honest, I don't even think therapy will be a productive avenue for me. That kind of thing never factors into these conversations though, and I think that's because a lot of "men need therapy" discourse is entirely performative.

[bluberimufim]

Writerly questionaire

I was tagged by @xenascribbles (read its post here btw!!) and I've been wanting to do it for a while (it's been so long ago, I'm sorry!!!) because it sounds interesting. Unfortunately, it's long and I am NOT concise.

I'll just leave the tags here: @squarebracket-trickster, @full-on-sam, @olliexwrites, @macabremoons, and @cheeto-flavoured-pasta + anyone else who wants to join!!

About me:

When did you first start writing?

I think I've mentioned this before, but I started writing in 5th/6th grade to kind of codify the lore and story of my friend group's playground activities (because a series of drawings was just not cutting it). Then, we collectively found out I enjoyed it and my friends started asking for fanfics of books we all liked.

Are the general themes you read different from the ones you write?

I don't really go out looking for the themes of a story, I usually focus on interesting plots or characters when I'm shopping for books (I know themes inform story and characters but you know what I mean). Also most themes in my stories are 100% a posteriori (DoS was my first time having themes in mind as I was writing). I usually write the 1st draft and go "oh shit, a theme".

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (room, coffee shop, desk, etc)

I mostly write in my room, usually sitting on my bed because I hate chairs. But I would be remiss if I didn't mention my college's big auditorium, specifically during boring architectural theory lessons. Any project of mine has been at least 30% written during class time, I can assure you.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

I go for a Really Long Walk while listening to music. And fun fact: I've had to make my walks bigger because of this, because when I'm having Thoughts I start speedwalking like a crazy person and it was genuinely shortening my Idea Time because I got home too quickly.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I wouldn't say it's a 1 to 1 thing, but I think the environments in our lives always afects us. In terms of the places I write about, I think my fascination with circuses and magic shows (from which came B&W) stems from the fact that there are no good ones around here. The ones from my childhood were genuinely so lame. But I think mostly it's the way I was raised? My parents are artists and they've made a point of showing me all kinds of art since, like... ever, and I feel like it really influenced me as a person and, therefore, my writing.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

A few years back, I noticed a tendency in my main characters to feel a great sense of nostalgia towards the past, in a way? There was a very prevalent sense of "things were ok at a previous point in my life but not now and I wanna go back". I don't really understand where this came from tho.

My characters:

Would you please tell me about your favorite character? (Current wip, past wip, never used)

I am, on every level, deeply insane about every single named character in DoS. But mainly Seth and General Fallin. I just think they're really interesting. I particularly like the general, mostly because I have almost no chances to write about him, while Seth is the POV character. There's just something about the different perceptions of his actions that are integral his character as a general in a war setting, as well as his inherent hypocrisy in constantly stating how much he cares for his people and being more than willing to commit atrocities for them. Idk, he's got that Nuance.

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Probably Reyna, from B&W. When I first wrote her, I was her age and tried to create someone who I'd like to hang out with.

Which of your characters would you dislike most in real life?

I already despise Nester from the dystopia WIP and he's not even real. And also, I think Diedrich would be insufferable irl.

Tell me about the process of coming up with one, all, or any of your characters.

Most of them kinda start out as concepts. For example, Seth came to be because "healer that takes the life of everything around them for power" sounded like a cool idea. Sometimes they're informed by characters I like or historical figures: Viktor is loosely based on Robespierre, Lucille is vaguely inspired by Cio-Cio San, General Fallin has some faint hints of Griffith, etc.

Do you notice any themes/traits about your characters?

I've noticed that every single one of my 4 WIPs has the extremely specific trope of an older character using the protagonist as a replacement for their dead loved one (usually their child, but sometimes disciple or younger sibling) and projecting onto them. I have no clue where tf this came from but it feels like something a psychoanalyst would greatly enjoy.

How do you picture them?” (as real people you imagined/as models/actors that exist in real life/as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc)

I actually picture all my characters in my artstyle!! Actually, I "see" most of the worlds in my stories through my own artstyle!

My writing:

What’s your reason for writing?

You see, I have all of these ideas. They are just lying around. And, as I said before, just drawing them isn't gonna cut it.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

On what is actually my least-read fic on ao3, a person left me a multiple paragraphs-long comment about how they would be thinking about that fic for years, that I wrote the characters as "canon but better", that they would read any other fics I posted in the future, and that they made an account to leave said comment. I'm not saying that this is the only type of comment I enjoy, but it has really stuck with me for the past year and when I read it I kinda wanna cry. So. I guess that.

How do you want to be thought of by those that read your work? (for example, as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition as a talented worldbuilder, or a role model, etc)

I've always wanted to be one of those writers that just really Gets the human mind, you know? Like, I've read stories where my regular person brain was going through all sorts of Things while my writer brain kept shouting "THIS MAKES SENSE!! THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!!!", and that's who I want to be. (I feel like I'm not expalining myself correctly???) This is kind of a tangent, but I've read/watched stories so good that I was left just literally Sitting There, my thoughts completely silent, literally incapable of being a functioning human being for about an hour because my brain just wouldn't come down from the story. And that's my goal in life <3

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Probably my character building.

What have you frequently been told your greatest writing strength is by others?

My story ideas/concepts. Like settings and worldbuilding and such.

How do you feel about your writing? (answer in whatever way you interpret that question)

Overall, I like it! I spent a long time working to a point where I can actually enjoy my own work. And I'm obviously not saying it's perfect. No one sees more flaws in it than me (bc I virtually never show it to anyone), but I won't say it's bad to sound better. I'm having fun, dammit!

If you were the last person on earth, and knew that your writing would never be read, would you still write?

I would still have stories to write even if there was no one to show them to. I would still draw and sing without an audience too. Because my art is, at its core, for me. It's a need.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I used to consider what others might like, and I still kinda do sometimes because my main beta reader is my MOM, but I've mostly let it go tbh. After draft 2 of B&W I shouted "I'M NEVER WRITING ROMANCE AGAIN!!!" and here we are. At the end of the day, I'm writing mostly to have fun, so I should be able to do whatever I want.

That was fun!! I love questionaires/this interview format thingy. Makes me feel fancy.

If you're made it all the way down here, hiiii <3<3<3<3<3<3 sorry for never shutting up and not being concise. It will happen again.

[an-aura-about-you]

I wonder how much nothing we're gonna fit into the last four chapters of Handbook for Mortals, but we're gonna tackle them one at a time.

Chapter 18 part 1:

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade was STILL dying in her childhood bedroom while her parents fart around by telling Mac the story of how they met. and that's exactly where we're picking up.

Chapter 18: The Chariot

-yeah, it's nbd that Zade is actively dying, Mac is straight up sitting at the kitchen table drinking iced tea and listening to Dela pointlessly ramble on.

-we're wasting so much time that we're even getting descriptions of the sound the ice in Mac's mason jar glass makes when he shakes it.

-another tally for casual use of the g-slur.

-Charles actually states some pretty sound philosophy on stage magicians vs. psychics: there ARE people who prey on others by claiming to know the future precisely and being able to commune with specific souls. at least with a stage magician you KNOW it's a show.

but the thing about that is Dela and Zade are both depicted as the type of people who do not use their tarot cards as tools but as divine mandate. instead of using their own discernment to figure out what they should do, they are looking for the exact order being handed down to them. and those are EXACTLY the sort of people who fall for the charlatans.

-once again Sarem demonstrates that she doesn't understand why magicians have their patter. yes, if a magician uses patter as misdirection, they have to be good at it, but I've seen enough magicians that don't talk at all through their routines to know it's not required.

-why is Mac eager to hear the rest of this story when his not-even-really-a-situationship is currently dying?

-and a casual slam on women who watch soaps.

-anyway we get the end of the story, which is that Charles wore a bulletproof vest, Betty shot him, Charles survived, and Betty was taken to a mental hospital. good ending!!

-and I was right, the last vision Dela had in the tent was that if Charles survived they would bang.

-Mac "was pretty sure that he missed the point as to why this was all relevant in regards to what was wrong with Zade." buddy, me too.

-Dela says she was about to get to that part, "the most important part." if time is of the essence, which I don't believe it is at this point, then why didn't you LEAD with the most important part?

-"there wasn't an another option" is one heck of a typo.

-Dela gives us an entire page talking about reading tarot cards before actually getting to the bit where she tells Mac that she and Zade are witches. what the fuck?

-she also says they do magic "the real kind--spelled with a 'k' at the end." *incorrect buzzer noise* nope, that spelling is a niche Wiccan thing! try again!

I know that a book can have whatever worldbuilding they want in here, and I've even said before I'm in favor of mix and match religious shit irl, but when it's this vague I'm gonna point out the inconsistency/misunderstanding.

-Dela suggests the movie Practical Magic might have had a real witch working on it, which I would be MUCH more interested in hearing about than whatever the plot of this book is.

-we just got a timestamp for how long we've been wasting time as Dela says Mac's had a long 24 hours. it's been a full day since Zade's collapsed and we're just sitting in the kitchen drinking tea and telling stories? much like Zade's poorly constructed tent in the camping chapter, there are no stakes.

-uggggggggh and Dela is giving the "well prayer and magick are the same things and the stuff you believe is actually magick" spiel to Mac. that is a shitty thing to do to a person, intentionally trying to undermine their religious or spiritual beliefs.

-wow, Dela didn't tell Charles that she was a witch until they had already had Zade and she knew she was also a witch. that's a pretty damn big thing to conceal from the person you had a kid with.

in fact, I've written a fanfic in which a character who uses a glamour to enhance his singing intentionally stops himself from accessing that power and tells his sweetheart about it when asking her to marry him just so he doesn't accidentally compel her to say yes or lock her into a relationship without divulging that he has such a powerful ability.

-we are on page 357 of this book, SO close to the end, and only NOW are we finding out that Zade has a habit of tugging the pendant on her family necklace up and down its chain. we have literally NEVER seen Zade do this. she has fiddled with her necklace exactly ONCE and said fiddling was not described in this manner.

-we are now informed that Zade used Mac as a means of grounding her power when accessing the chaos magic and the reason why she's at death's door now is because he was not at the show.

okay. while I would rather throw out the entire suitcase, let's unpack this.

Zade used Mac for her magic without informing him and without his consent, and thus against his will. Yikes.

if Zade knew she needed someone to ground her magic, why didn't she use someone she knew couldn't leave the show like Charles?

if Zade was using Mac to ground her magic, how the hell did that work when she was spending months of time rehearsing this illusion without him around?

if Zade knew Mac was upset with her, why did she go on with the trick? does emotional state not matter with this kind of grounding? obviously distance matters.

why didn't Zade stop the trick once she started feeling unwell? how did she not know that was because Mac wasn't there to ground her magic? was there any reason why the trick couldn't be stopped once it started? and if so, why would you start a trick without being 100% certain Mac was present?

Zade spent all these months rehearsing this trick and didn't consider any sort of backups in case Mac couldn't be there? didn't we get a whole spiel earlier in the book that everybody had some sort of backup in case they got sick or had to go to a wedding?

why the fuck was Zade using chaos magic for this illusion again? why in the world did she deem it necessary to do that?

-"I was on my deathbed because of [Mac]." No The Fuck You Aren't. you're on your deathbed because you were stupid enough to use chaos magic for a trick that didn't need it and used a person who hadn't consented and didn't know about it to ground that magic. this was not Mac maliciously walking off knowing it would cause harm. fuck you for blaming him for something that is 100% absofuckinglutely not. his. fault.

-"Why would she do that without telling me?" a good fucking question, Mac. Zade, you're getting an F-- on communication.

and my lunch break is over so the rest is gonna have to wait.

[insomnia-goblin]

1/2/24

I think i genuinely hate my family. Smallest incident, mom won’t allow me to use cord phone chargers because apparently i break them. Keep in mind two of the three broken ones died when mom/sister was using them.

I hate my sister. I may have hurt her badly. I’m not asking for forgiveness or anything, i just want peace. I don’t think she’s capable of loving me anymore. She seems to take every opportunity to be passive aggressive. I’m walking on eggshells all the time. She says she wants to give me tough love and that’s why she yells, but requires love and not just tough. I don’t think there’s anything i can do to fix it. I hate her because she makes me feel powerless. She won’t even do therapy because she says i’ll just use suicide to manipulate her and mom. Like wtf??? I will admit, i did use it as a manipulation tactic once, because i thought my mom would kick me out. Other then that, all of my threats and attempts have come from a genuine place. At this point i think my sister gave up on seeing my perspective years ago.

I think my mom loves my sister more than me. Mom spends more time with her because they have similar interests. Mom won’t give any of my interests a chance, at best she calls them weird and at worst she actively hates them. It’s hard to spend time with her, i understand i’m a hard kid to raise, i just wish that mom wasn’t so burned out because of me. I also think she blames me for her job loss and our financial instability. She said so herself. I don’t want to be around but mom says that would just make her feel worse. I lose no matter what. I also know she thinks i’m stupid, you see i’m technically not allowed on social media due to me getting into dangerous shit. I understand where she’s coming from but, i feel so alone in the real world. I technically hace irl friends but we’re not close because we can only interact at school. I’m doing my best to be more cautious of internet safety and more firm in my boundaries. I understand the internet is dangerous, but so is the real world. I can’t be protected from everything, and the rewards outweigh the risks here. Especially because mom herself said that loneliness was one of the main causes of my depression.

On the whole internet safety thing, they are hypocrites. My sister tells people a fairly specific area we live in within the first 30 minutes. Mom will detail MY trauma history to, from my perspective complete strangers. I understand that being a mom to a kid like me is traumatic. Can i wish she would at least ask me first. It stings even more because all of my trauma involved me losing my autonomy. Whenever i want privacy it’s brushed off. Whenever i tell anyone anything about them i get called a blabber mouth. I try communicating with them, it’s what my therapist suggests but, they never listen, okay that’s not entirely true, they listen for about a week.

Honestly i’m probably just delusional. (Not psychotic just fucking stupid dw.) Mom’s usually great and i probably don’t have a right to complain about ny sister. This will probably be buried under an eye-roll and a “wasn’t i a crazy bitch lmao.” Mood swings plus no emotional object permanence sucks ass lol.

[moonchildreads]

y'all get to find out random shit about me thanks to the always gorgeous and unfortunately too far away for me to hug right now @duquesademiel so yay! tag games are fun!

rules: color the ones that are true and tag fifteen (15) people

appearance:

i’m over 5’5" // i wear glasses/contacts (i wear reading glasses when i need them) // i have blonde hair (technically yes, i'm a 7 ash blond naturally - yes, it is the same colour as eddie's wig lmao) // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing (no preference tbh) // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair (i've had my tips dyed blue, teal, purple and green throughout college) // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails (sometimes, when i remember) // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look (long journey to get to this point but i am happy now) // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

hobbies and talents:

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing (i sing badly but i enjoy it) // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

relationship:

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends (no comments on whether it's good or bad advice) // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

aesthetics:

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

miscellaneous:

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend (not to all my friends, but to some of them, yes) // i live by a certain quote (do whatever you have to do to be happy) // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy Mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift (badly, but i do. i need to practice more so i can get my driver's license but i don't have the time) // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

i don't think i even know 15 people irl so i'm just tagging people i think are neat: @justahappycloud @gutterratt @so-inlove-with-the-wrongworld @munsonology @queenimmadolla @1lostsoul0fishbowl @eddiemunson95 @lesservillain

[tryingtimi]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Thank you @aninkwellofnectar for the tag! 💖

1) What motivates you to write?

To connect to people in a way I wouldn't be able to in any other form. I am not good at articulating my thoughts to others, so this is one of my ways to try to.

2) A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

Lonel stole a glance from the decorative clock on the nearest wall.  It ticked, as her words ticked something in him. The anger she was spitting those tearful words; that was way too familiar. He listened, keeping his eyes on the woman. It was clear that this was her moment, the time to open up and embrace whatever she was feeling. Yeah, he understood that, respected that. To an extent, it must have been great. Just great. 

From Lonel's first chapter, where he listens to someone in their support group.

3) Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Well, if we stay on Project Lonel, then it's Odena. She's a very intelligent woman with great humour, devotion to those who she loves and having a pretty neat level of self-awareness. It's hard for her to acknowledge when she was wrong, but when she does, she does it properly. She has a lot of empathy, but she is not naive. Not even the least. (which is an absolute blast to explore as someone who is the opposite lmao) She's also very sweet, and playful when you are close to her. She's basically someone who I'd look up at irl, to be honest.

4) What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

The typing, when you have the chance to play with words, and metaphors and descriptions. Oh boy, the descriptions, I'm definitely guilty in overdescribing things, but I love it and no one can stop me, I'm sorry. I also discovery write a lot of part of the story, but it goes way smoother for me if I have at least a very vague chapter by chapter outline. So, I can exceptionally enjoy the process of making that outline too, to be honest.

5) What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Setting the atmosphere and the mood. With a wall of description, yes.

6) What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

The friendliness and the direct support. I'm not a part of any other community outside of writeblr or tumblr itself, tho I was on Wattpad for a while. However, in comparison to WP, tumblr is much more, well, direct and that makes it a quite wholesome experience honestly.

7) A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Not specifically a writing program, but I use Notion to store and organise my things. My OCD loves it to bits, and it helps me get inspired I think. With all the costumization possibilites, I can make a page that will always get me in the mood of my story.

8) A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

The Crimson Shadow Pub&Bar, which is an important gathering point for all vampiric activity. Especially that orgy kind of thing where they invite humans who offer their blood willingly and gather them to store for later, since they trade with blood. You see, in Lonel, when a vampire drinks someone's blood, they extract that person's best ability with it. For example: a runner has their stamina in it. And if another human drinks that, they gain that specific ability in a big dose temporarily. It's like a funky steroid or something. Which is why it also addictive to humans, and so the vampires started a business with it in secret.

9) What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Can't say a better one than Nectar: read books! They are the perfect source for encouragement, and inspiration. It's a must for me to read before I start to write because then that goes so much smoothly too. And if you found a story that speaks to you, that will help you get back on track with your project too, in my experience.

10) Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters:

Here are some of my biggest supporters / people whose writing I enjoy.

@aninkwellofnectar, @bloodlessheirbyjacques, @the-void-writes, @circa-specturgia, @aschlindartroom, @dyrewrites, @blind-the-winds, @muddshadow, @odysseywritings

[enneamage]

do you think wilbr is going to be the reason the band breaks? i don’t really mean disbanding necessarily but just like not working out lmao

i also kinda wanna know ur thought in lovejoy in general, their dynamic (as little or much we have seen), how they approach their projects and their music in general. bc i used to be a big big fan of wlbrs and everything he did was awesome for me, but as time passed and he started streaming less and stuff i kinda just saw as “meh” and now i listen to lovejoy and it’s like 🧐 “hmm, it’s not as good as i thought”

he mentions a lot of alex turner and julian casablancas as inspirations but idk, in their debut albums they were so good and well thought and idk i’m rambling i’m sorry

Wilbur is the dude I know the most about, and also the one that I relate to the most as the major potential liability, but that also comes from a place of not knowing the others very well. I'm naturally most concerned with him because his flaws come to mind easily but that's just from availability of information. An anon once made a point that he does better under situations where he’s being held to a structure so his flake tendencies might get curbed by circumstance, so it’s in the air.

Ash has done a very good job at making himself known as loveable mime. He’s an interesting one, he seems very creative. He helped dream up Tommy’s faux life bits, which makes more sense in retrospect since Ash’s whole public persona is a bit about him never speaking. Ash might not be the face of lovejoy but when I think about what is exclusive to Lovejoy I think of him, while Wilbur has been all over the place. He's what has me kind of rooting for Lovejoy in spite of my caution around them.  

Mark and joe are total wildcards for me. Squarely out of my depth with them and don't have much info to go off, so they could turn out to be anything. I’m not actively following any of them so if info washes up somewhere I can find it I can take a look, but for now they’re thing one and thing two in my brain.

The genre that Lovejoy plays in isn’t my usual go-to so I can’t be as 'objective' as I would want to be assessing their sound. I know I'm in an echo chamber when it comes to criticism, but just about everyone in this conversation is in at least some form of one (the natural mcyt fandom marbling based on who watches who) so it comes with the territory.

When I talk about them with people irl I have found an unexpected consensus: for a band that took off in the context of minecraft youtube they bang, but if you stand them shoulder to shoulder with their genre peers it doesn't come out as well right now. It's almost not fair to compare them, but you have to if you want to switch from one pool to the other. Already liking the people involved seems to help a lot with how much you like their music, as you've experienced, but taste is always subjective.

Overall they're being flung at the wall at high speeds under the right conditions, a lot of attention and a lot of streams from a lot of people, so it's likely that they're going to stick at least somewhat. The grand decontextualizing machine, Spotify, is sneaking them into other peoples orbits every day. How much is enough will depend on what the intended outcome is.

Is it possible to be too big to fail? Because they're already in the public consciousness there's enough of them to drift around, but predictions in 2023 in general are the thing everyone wants and nobody knows enough to be able to make. Divination is going to skyrocket, mark my words.

Nothing is guaranteed and I think that's the cazy-making thing of watching someone with issues wander off into the sunset, not knowing if or when things will explode and wipe out the happy ever after. It may wind up being adaptive for Wilbur to lean more into the music scene because he wouldn't be the first questionable character that thrived there by a long shot. Ultimately it's out of my depth and I can't tell, because there's something to doubt about both the happy ever after rockstar narrative of main and the straight-up-flop counter-narrative too. I think it makes most sense to aim for the middle and brace for the unexpected, because that seems to be the formula for handling any of these people whose careers were supercharged on the back of something that could never have been predicted to begin with.  

[1o1percentmilk]

hi! regarding your social queues post

i feel like i'm experiencing a thing that's a bit similar to what you are dealing with down to the "I'm not autistic but this shit isn't neurotypical" thoughts (and if not, I'm really sorry for an impromptu vent just ignore all of this please and have a kitty ฅ/⁠ᐠ•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠ᐟ⁠\ฅ)

several of my prev psychologists link it to general anxiety and social awkwardness and yeah, that sounds reasonable, but what bothers me is that idk how to improve

i tend to overthink everything I say to the point where, even though I know what a normal response should look like I can't convince myself that what I said/wrote is articulated in a way that doesn't sound dumb/conveys literally the opposite of what I'm trying to deliver. answering a message after days of silence, which actively worsens my relationships, while I fear that answering with a 'stupid' message would be even worse or agonising over a comment I'm trying to leave on someone's work because, well, I think it's neat and cool and I want the artist/author to know it, but when I start typing my words look wrong and not genuine is a constant thing and I'm tired

and yeah, the worst is comforting people. my friend feels terrible, I can clearly see that and my heart is breaking for them, but I can never find a good thing th say. irl you at least can physically be there((maybe)) but online it's a nightmare

I was always told that words should come from the heart and I never got a feeling that was the case for me which just. i dunno what to do with this

hi hello! no, you're good, I have my ask box open for a reason and that includes venting n stuff like that, i don't mind at all!

yeah this is exactly what i'm talking about... like i have no problem picking up on things between the lines... but i always take too long to respond and by the time i think of something i am either too nervous or the window has passed. in my case, I know its because i have a "slower processing speed" than other people, which i've had since I was little, it's easier to think when i can type on a screen and be able to check if im making sense, but i don't do verbal stuff very well.

i've been in therapy as well, a long time ago, and i've been told i might be on the autism spectrum, and/or have add, but i'm pretty resistant to getting a formal diagnosis or even self diagnosing for some reason.

i think for me, and i don't know if this will help for you, i want to 1) get rid of the... mental block? filter? that my thoughts have to get through before I say something... because sometimes i come up with the thought, but don't say anything due to nerves. that'll help me get more thoughts out there and 2) get more practice with people... which is hard! i tried out both improv and drama club in high school because this is an issue i've been working on for a long time... it didn't really work, but i've learned that there are a lot of... scripts! that i can just use in a pinch. even if its just like, small talk and stuff, or if i don't have anything, i just turn the question on the other person and just listen!

i've been trying to make peace with the fact that i will probably never be as good of a talker as other people, but you and me brother we are probably just meant to be listeners... and nothing wrong with that... there IS stuff we can do to get better at talking, which i encourage. but don't get down out of reason for being quiet.

SORRY that got really long despite me not having alot of good advice but im struggling with it with you, good luck with finding something that works.. if u want to talk u are always welcome here, i enjoyed reading your ask!

[taegularities]

Ah Rid, you don't have to worry about me truly. I've just been in my feels recently and especially tonight. I hope this little ramble doesn't just pile on bad vibes onto you when you're already feeling down because that's the last thing I want 🥺🥺🥺 But I guess it's better if I don't just let these thoughts fester in my head huh?

It's really not even anything that bad or big, but lately I've just felt quite... lonely irl. Or maybe more like craving deeper human connection? Because I do have people around me that I talk to and hang out with but it doesn't exactly feel enough. And thinking about it more it doesn't even have to be romantic (although that's where my brain went to at first) but just something closer, more intimate and personal.

All of that had me thinking back to the many friendships I've been in in the past years and how the atmosphere in a lot of them was very negative, so that's why I kept changing friend groups a lot. And then I was finally in a place where I had two very close girl friends and everything was so positive and uplifting, it was really nice. We naturally drifted apart and I'm fine with that, I just miss that closeness and positive energy, that connection and feeling of knowing each other so well.

And I was so excited to start uni because I actually love the process of initially getting to know people too, but now I just want something more 😔😔😔

I feel like that's definitely something that I should actively be building up too though so it feels like if it makes me so sad, why aren't I doing something about it yk? That's something I should probably think about more, how to make it happen. I just feel like not only do I want more love to be given to me, but also even more like I have so much love to give and nobody to give it to.

That being said I'm grateful for all of the people in my life. And feeling like this recently has made me appreciate everybody I've met online so so so much more than I already was. Everyone here, including you, Rid, makes me feel so so very happy and loved. It's just not easy when one of my main love languages is physical touch and everyone's all over the world and I can't actually hug you lmao.

I reeeeally wasn't sure if I should ramble to you because as I said, I didn't want to add onto your bad feelings, but I don’t think I can really say this to anyone else without feeling silly and I believe in the benefit of letting your feelings out. So thank you as always for listening, Rid. Please don't feel obligated to reply or anything if you don't have the emotional energy, it just feels good to put these thoughts out there.

I truly believe that we'll all be okay very very soon. I'm sending you the biggest hugs and all of the love in the world 💞💞💞

awh god, bby :((

reading this made me so sad. don't feel bad about it, it just means i care btw! i just hate that so many people have been feeling that way. i honestly get that 100% bc i too have been feeling a lot like this in the past few months.

loneliness sucks. sometimes you want to talk about something, but you don't know with whom. or sometimes, you want to go for lunch or dinner or go see a movie but can't figure out who to ask. i get it... i think there's always a point in life when loneliness strikes hardest, but i think we need to keep in mind that it's not our fault, or at least not always.

like, you said you know you could change it if you just tried, or that you need to push yourself harder. which is good. it's always great to acknowledge what can be done. but, and i always tell that myself too, it's not always easy and that's okay!! don't put yourself down. like, opening up can be fkn hard, especially after this stupid pandemic, so it's genuinely okay if it takes some time, you know? i was excited for uni as well bc i thought i could finally make new friends, but then you enter the room and just... ugh it's hard. ofc we crave intimate relationships of any kind, and yes friendships drift apart, but finding new ones just requires patience i think.

those are all things i tell myself daily. bc otherwise id spiral more lol and yes i'm so so thankful for everyone here, too. i love all my virtual moots and friends and readers and everyone, but it stinks that i can't hug anyone, so yeah ofc we'd want that irl warmth.

it'll happen !! take your time, dive into relationships step by step, doesn't have to happen overnight. there's this jk biased army girl, right? try with her if you'd like, but don't push yourself too hard. be comfortable. and also, never feel bad for venting, bc while i worry, your pain won't add to mine. like, i like to help.. so it's alright, anytime. and yeah, we'll be okay, at least at some point, you're right my love 💕

[golbrocklovely]

I completely agree with one of the last posts. I’m only really ‘in the fandom’ if you will on here. Instagram, Twitter, tik tok honestly all are yucky to me. The way so many of his fans speak to him like they’re best friends and know him IRL is…bizarre to say the least. I watch a lot of other YouTubers but S&C’s fans (especially with Colby) have extremely strong parasocial relationships. I think you mentioned it in another post about how fans literally think they have a chance with him….like sorry but bffr. Listen, have I also convinced myself that Colby would fall in love with me if he met me? Obviously, but also I’m fully aware it’s not going to happen. Even though I’m the same age as him ik my chances are 1/1,000,000. It’s just a fantasy I like to daydream about when I’m bored. I just like to imagine I am y/n but I know deep in my heart that I will NEVER meet this man and be in a relationship or anything with him. But the way some of the fans are CONVINCED they can get him is so freaky. Like you said there’s nothing wrong with thinking you can date a celeb(I literally do it constantly with that Paul Mescal and that scrawny bitch Timothee bc I’m a white mans whore) but I also know that in the real world that’s not going to happen. I just think with YouTubers people are more ‘aggressive’ I guess with it because YouTubers seem more real and attainable because they’re ‘just like us’

out of all the fandoms, i would weirdly say that insta is the least bad, only bc there isn't really a fandom on there like there once was. tiktok is next (at least to me) and then twitter is the worse overall lol

and like i mentioned back in the ask you're referring to, daydreaming is harmless. like if you like to think you have a chance with colby, or daydream about a dating him, there's nothing wrong with that. god knows i do that too. but it's the ppl that think that their daydreams are reality that are the problem. it's not only bc they go out of their way to "ship" themselves with him, it's bc it usually leads them to hate on any woman in his life and act as if they aren't good enough for them, when in reality they only reason they feel that way is bc that girl isn't themselves.

the parasocial relationship with snc is really crazy comparatively to a lot of other social media ppl. i think the reason for that (somewhat) is way back in the day, snc used to interact with fans frequently. like circa 2015/16 they were talking to fans on twitter all the time. and they would dm them too. there was an open communication with snc and fans and i think that started and laid the groundwork for what happens today.

snc have always deeply cared for their fans. they actively do everything in their power to make their fans feel good. that was always the main reason as to why they started making content. they wanted to make platforms like the life project and metalife bc they saw how sad a lot of ppl were. but in a weird way, i think bc they cared so much, they almost made a monster (in a sense) by connecting too much to fans.

it's one thing to relate to snc and wish that they were your friends. that's fine. but it's another thing to actively think you are friends with snc. even if they've interacted with you a couple times, no: you aren't their friend. they do not know you like that, and vice versa.

and when it comes to colby, i think bc colby keeps the side of his life, his love life, super private, i think it causes a lot of women in the fandom to go crazy over what he would be like as a bf. and while again, there's nothing wrong with daydreaming, there's comes a point where you gotta be realistic and under you aren't going to actually date him.

a lot of fans feel like they know colby, and bc of that, also think they have a chance with him. but it's not true. daydream and read fanfics all you want, but that doesn't make it reality.

(also, i love that you called timothee a scrawny bitch lmaooo)

[royalberryriku]

Making this better (and imo fixing the chromosome part bc trans ppl exist so it would exclude men with no Ys and kill women with Ys, plus with how genetics work, it spreading bc of chromosomes wouldn't be as realistic imo), the serum does work on people with XX chromosomes only as well, but it was only given to men in power. Also, I want to say I mean all this constructively and don't mean to brush off anyone or their ideas. Just adding my two (or several) cents.

Now, "wouldn't it effect women then?" you may be asking. Well, it depends on how it's transmitted, but also, I think that may just make this concept even better. Just hear me out.

So, what if instead of spreading through bites, it is (like many irl diseases) spread through the air? Clothes that haven't been cleaned enough, coughing, surfaces, etc? What if only women were willing to listen to the health advice? What if, because of toxic masculinity and believing they could "tough it out" only men caught it? What if that's the whole point? What if the patriarchy, not their bodies, are the reason behind men's extinction?

What if it isn't because it's only contagious to men, but because how society treats and raises men that they become susceptible? While yes, the OG concept is badass in concept (at least for cis people), but I think this improves the theme and overall gives the audience a reason to think. How does this apply to our everyday life? What can we learn from this story?

Much like Fight Club and Barbie, perhaps a criticism of toxic masculinity and the system of patriarchy in how it's taught may be the way to go.

Specifically, hygiene.

Men are raised to believe they don't need to take care of themselves, that being clean makes them weak and that they can simply tough out any disease or injury. To the point it actively harms them. To compare myself, who was raised as a girl, to my brothers who were raised as boys, I've noticed that I've had to do the heavy lifting when it comes to cleaning. I'm expected to be cleaner, to be neater, to be gentler and more nurturing. It's assumed I'll clean and thus always been an unspoken expectation everyone has had of me. Whereas with my brothers, it is assumed they will be messy "because they're boys".

Now, any trans person would know this big part of transitioning and using the Other Bathroom. Trans men, I think we can all relate to the realisation of just how many cis men don't wash their hands after using the toilet. Trans women also likely have noticed how much cleaner women's bathrooms tend to be. That isn't a biological thing, this is a learnt practice. That isn't to say there aren't cis women who also don't wash their hands or all cis men don't, but it is an expectation for men to not need to be clean and women to be expected to be cleaner.

So, what if this backfires in the worst possible way for men? And what if women have to also learn that keeping clean and avoiding getting this new illness means understanding the weight and work it takes in a post apocalyptic world where necessities aren't regularly available? What if hygiene is treated as a strength and a power to have? And what if the reasons behind why women are expected to be clean are looked at and criticised as the system that created such a situation crumbles?

Anyway, just spilling out all the thoughts. Maybe they're good, maybe they're not. Maybe they inspire someone else to make these ideas even better?

[schizononsince]

Guess I'll do a pinned, since I'm kind of active again.

Call me King, not because of an ego or anything, just don't feel like giving my real name here is safe. So king it is, because I can think of absolutely nothing else but Caleb, and I don't wanna be a Caleb. No offense to the Caleb society.

He / him binary transman who usually just drops the ' trans ' IRL bc letting everyone I meet on a daily basis assume I'm a cisman makes things a lot less complicated for me down here in the south. Where I'm not trying to be put in a situation or catch a case.

Been on HRT for a while, my chest is cis male passing without a binder being needed and these two things make me feel very safe and secure in my body. HRT can do a hell of a lot for a trans person, who woulda thunk?

Here I'm going to post mostly my very negative thoughts when mental illness curb stomps me. So that I don't worry the very few friends I have. But in between that, I'm gonna be talking about advocacy and stuff. Not really gonna let a whole lot of my personalities shine here. You're gonna get the fed up twin on the Gemini here. You've been warned.

I'm solid in my gender identity and I feel this plays a huge part in what I'm about to say;

If you are against detransitioners right to exsist in the trans community then just get off my page now. Stop hating a minority with a gender journey of self discovery that's just as unique as a transgender individuals.

I don't typically fuck with TERFs so if yer gonna be using ' gender critical ' terminology and spread that jelly of hateful ignorance then just block me now. I'm not tryna go back to jail. But I will. This is a threat, leave.

Protect trans kids and protect detransitioners.

Death to Ron Desantis

That's actually probably gonna be the only ' political ' focus here.

May loosen up a little and try to let the cool side of me show. But I'm very on edge in this community and until I feel it's safe to be any degree of vulnerable, I'm not.

Feel free to DM me if you need someone to talk to. If no one else will listen, I will, tell me what's on your mind, or how your day is going.

Not gonna post a DNI bc that's honestly just begging for the kind of people I don't like to purposely come harass me with their single struggling braincell.

I block. Real fast. If u send me some long ass rant Abt how you hate me I'm not gonna read it Homi. I'm just gonna block on sight and spare myself the psychic damage.

I don't fuck with minors, so if you're not at least 18 find someone else to follow. Someone your own age.

You're not going to get an accurate portrayal of myself here. You're just gonna get the grumpy asshole that jumps out when I see stupid shit. Infuriatingly stupid shit. But in DMS, if you're chill, then you'll get a taste of what I'm really like.

Asks are turned off because I don't particularly care for anon hate. Because I just end up blocking before reading it, so what's really the point in even opening myself up to receive it? Got a question? Dm me, I don't bite.