#interactive e-learning
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fumifooms · 5 months ago
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
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She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
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They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked. We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.
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They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕
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I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#I’m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that it’s gonna get you killed#It’s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc he’s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT IT’S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasn’t socialized in a long#time and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t a tool he needed to interact with BUT it’s still socialization and it’s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#How’s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY they’re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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louroth · 1 year ago
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last name reveal for IDREN//IDA + their moodboard character sheet
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lightbulb-warning · 3 months ago
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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Colombia’s goalkeeper is really, really good, I’ve been so impressed by him
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luneemeritus · 5 months ago
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Don't get me wrong I'm all for fanfictions where Erik moves on and finds another love for himself, EXCEPT when the author tries to make him an innocent heartbroken puppy and Christine the villain.
Hear me out. I'm number 1 Erik defender and NOT friendly with "Erik critical/hate" folks, and I'm also not fond of Raoul (I dont defend him, he was also bad and never learned anything). But I also DESPISE Christine-hate takes.
Erik was wrong with Christine, since the beginning of their relationship. End. Of. Story. Does that make him evil? No. Does that make him a monstrous abuser? No. Does he have the right to move on and start a new life? Absolutely yes. But he was not the victim on his relationship with Christine, don't make her the villain in his story when it's pretty much the opposite.
While it's true that Erik had a mental breakdown and wasn't intentionally malicious with Christine, he was also shitty and toxic and not good for her. The whole point about Erik's redemption in the ending was that regretted the shit he did, he knew it was wrong, he knew he needed to STOP. Instead of making Christine "the villain that destroyed Erik's feelings and lost her chance with him for someone else", make Erik heal, grow and have a healthier relationship with someone else that won't be hurted by him the way Christine was. And plus, make Erik and Christine make amends and become good friends, letting the past behind. It's so much better for real.
Btw I shipp Erik and Christine but not in a "she was wrong by not choosing him" way, but in a "he learned from his mistakes and became a better man that she deserves" way.
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clonememesfrikyeah · 8 months ago
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You know what would be the worst? If at the end of the war when all is said and done, after the clones lost every little thing they had, after Vaders rise and the Jedi’s fall, after all that death and hardship and misery? It would be terrible to be a clone and wake up like suddenly coming out of a coma, in a stasis chamber that they grew up in and rarely left, there was the craziest dream just before and there’s the lingering feeling something important just happened, this is Kamino 35bby, all the information they were just fed is already neatly stored in their perfect flash-memory brain. No ones died yet, all of that was a simulation based on a calculation of events to instal orders and hone the discipline of troops. It’s dark, there’s no way of telling if anyone or anything exists beyond the boundary’s of the inside. There’s a designated call sign and designation along with vitals displayed in the line of vision, it’s also counting down the seconds to when a new simulation is set to begin.
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asheanon · 1 year ago
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Twenty seven thousand smiling Sal faces and it still isn't enough. Ffs...
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cerealmonster15 · 4 months ago
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my hxh experience is also very confusing bc i started watching it like 2+ years ago at my partners apartment, but then i think we stopped for a bit / we moved around a bit, and kinda just never got back to it. then a while after we moved in with each other wayyyy later we eventually picked it back up and then this time in dub form bc it's easier for me to focus if i dont have to try and read everything quick enough and also see whats happening jfkldshg so it was like
sub version watched up through like halfway through york new auction arc or whatever
[2+ YEAR LONG GAP???]
picking right back up exactly in the midway spot where we left off, now in dub, i cannot remember Jack Shit and have to keep asking my partner [who has seen/read it before] what's going on and who everyone is every 5 seconds. there are so many characters and i remembered like 6 of them at best fdhjvlksjldhg. killua's grandpa and dad showed up like an episode or 2 after we picked it back up and i was like who are these guys. where did they come from. tbh being told who they were didnt help bc i still didnt understand why or how they were there dfshjfghjgf
#and then they did it again in chimera ant arc.... where did killuas dad come from since when was he in on the plan#AND WHERED THEY GO. I HAVENT SEEN THEM COME BACK SINCE THEN.... did they actually leave this time... i dont know#also dude i miss netero :[ we r like a couple episodes after the big mega heart attack explosion thing#i love a cool old man#i still struggle to remember peoples names bc god there are SO many characters#but chimera ant arc is so long that you at least spend a lot of time with them so theres some names ive eventually learned#but im still me so i cant tell you how many times i called meleoron 'lemeleon'#it's like pokemon with him i cant. remember it very clearly and i mix it up hardcore#other people i just cant remember at all so im like uhhh. ponytail guy <- which barely narrows it down they keep finding ponytail guys....#nobunaga.... shoot.... some other guy i think. actually maybe not that many idr LOL#dont even get me started on the spiders. it took me forever just to get nobunaga lol#there are soooo many of them and i had forgotten the first chunk we'd watched after the irl timeskip#so i was in realtime trying to recall who eveyrone was while they were doing shit and it was REALLY CONFUSING#i really need to restart from the beginning but im gonna wait til we finish the anime lol#oh also i like. completley forgot illumi or w/e was doing the hunter exam with hisoka in that first arc#bc literally theres like ONE or two brief moments in. idk if it was greed island or right before it#where hisokas like yeah i calld a friend. and illumis there like 🧍#and i was like he knows killuas brother??? theyre friends???#bc i just had no memory of them interacting before fdlkhgjkf#i like kinda forgot illumi existed til then i think jdkslf or maybe when he was haunting killua idr#actually we went back and watched part of an episode when killua was w/his family#bc i couldnt remember ANYTHING i was like. why was he there again. dont they suck or something. what happened.#and tbh. i still dont get what their vibe is hwhwhfhehg#things to revisit once i get out of the ant pit
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hopeheartfilia · 7 months ago
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ive been switching lanes waaay too fast this week. Anyway having some mini identity crisises over how little i actually understood about nuclear fusion
#me#a shitpost can be blue#physics#i guess#tis about how i knew so little about quarks#like okay i know their names i like knew they had like charges that were colours#thatw e call colours. but id uh missed the part where that leads tp actually looking how they interact and also waves#this came from me helping my best friends little syster#with a presentation on nuclear energy#and so i was just like huh i know it works like that but like why exactly does that give off energy as a byproduct?#and then i. and then i had to sit there like. ah#its been so long since ive actually looked at physics#like interesting physics not explaining basic concepts to a kid for school#cuz i have. highschool physics at best at this point and#uh my grandfather was a phycisist and he was writhing a book on some theories when i was 2 to 3ish#and he was babysitting me and we stayed close till my early teen years#so ive actually always known just tht bit much more about particles specifically then my peers#idk its always been interesting to me#but now im coming over here like oh ive lost the#constant building of knowedge over the years that id gotten used to#because like we would cover some material in school i kinda new#id get curious and look a bunch of atuff up#but ive actively been forgetting physics for a few years now and it idk it hit#im just not keeping up with my sciences#which is a terrible blow to my little curious ass#like ive been keeping up with literary education and fashion history and phylosophy#but ive been missing the biology and physics and chemistry actually#but i dont tend to hyperfocus on theese topics so im jot sure how to keep at it#cuz i like learning stuff like that and sometimes ill go on binges of learning about curves#but idk ive been missing my dose of i guess the harder sciences part of it
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s1000dcodeandpixels · 8 months ago
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IETM for Beginners A Quick Guide to IETM Code and Pixels
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IETM: Interactive Electronic Technical Manual
Training Aids to Defence Client
If you are a supplier of defence then along with the system/equipment you also need to provide Training Aids
(CBT) — Computer-Based Training
Charts and Bloups
Video Film
Training Work Modules
Manuals Hard Copies
IETM
Evolution of Documentation in Defence
Before — Hardcopies and PDFs in DVDs (Upto 2015)
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What is the meaning of the IETM?
Manual: Manual means any literature organized or written in a prescribed manner to guide the user.
TechnicalManual: This means the literature is technical, like user manuals, maintenance manuals etc. Hard copy
Electronic Technical Manual: This means the manual is available in the form of an electronic version which simply means digital format or softcopy. It can be a PDF file or a database-driven software application.
Interactive Electronic Technical Manual:
Let us first understand the meaning of Interactive. The meaning of interactive is two people or things influencing each other.
Allowing a two-way flow of information between an electronic device /computer and a user; responding to a user’s input.
Involving the actions or input of a user. Especially
It means when the Electronic User manuals Interact and respond with the user, that is you, it will become an Interactive Electronic Technical manual.
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Interactive Features
Interactivity
Hyperlinks
Hot Spots
Text hotspot
Image hotspot
VideHotspot
Bookmarks
User wise bookmarks
Navigation
Linear navigation
Non-liner navigation
Page Search
Global search
Best matched
Content tree
Related topics
Core IETM
Documents
Drawings
Annotation
User wise bookmarks
The documents and pages are many hence, for easy and fast accessibility complete content is converted and stored as a database.
Whenever the user wants some information, IETM software produces the information in a fraction of a second.
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Use or Purpose of the IETM?
The purpose of the Manual is to give information related to the equipment to the end user for quick reference.
All the technicality is written in detail so that when an issue arises, the user can refer to the manual, as every time OEM or technical person or subject matter expert might not be available on the spot to resolve the issue.
If the manual has 10 pages users can refer easily.
But any system used by the defence will have multiple manuals and thousands of page counts and many times a user has to cross-refer between manuals, intra-manual and inter-manual to resolve the issue.
Referring to 10- 15 hard-copy or even soft-copy books simultaneously will be difficult and time-consuming.
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How to access the IETM ?
IETM is a web-based application like our bank software or any other web application. The graphic user interface will be provided to use IETM through which users can interact and get the desired data.
Like all other standard software, Unauthorized users cannot access the IETM. IETM is a Login - login-based application. Only users having valid Login credentials can access the software.
Based on the user log credentials data will be provided to the user.
IETM has 2 types of Users and one Administrator
Maintainer
Operator
If the operator logs in, the user gets all the content related to operator use, similarly if the maintainer logs in only maintenance-related content is visible for that user.
Ideally, all the content is available for both users, because the purpose of the IETM is to refer to the manual to fix the issue.
Administrators can create users who can see the user’s navigation and log-in history and interact with the users using user dashboards through Annotations.
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What Inputs are Needed? (From OEM to Create IETM)
All the softcopies of user manuals to be converted to IETM.
All images Videos, and drawings to be integrated into IETM.
Subject matter expert to resolve technical clarifications
Table of contents/tree structure.
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Minimum Hardware Requirements?
NO High-end hardware or servers are required to run IETM.
However, if more concurrent users, then a good configuration server with good LAN connectivity must be ensured.
i3 with 8 GB RAM systems is the minimum configuration required for the server or for Node.
Deliverables
BASED DB (Manuals are covered in the Database)
IETM VIEWER Software
User Manual and Installation Manual
Standards — compliance
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Costing of IETM: (Interactive Electronic Technical Manual)
Level of IETM, is it Level 3 or Level 4
Cost will be based on the number of pages that are to be converted
The vendor calculates the cost per page. And a fixed cost of IETM viewer software
If you want to create IETM by yourself self then you also need to buy IETM authoring software.
What are these Levels?
Level — 1 is any PDF file
Level — 2 is a PDF file with hyperlinks from the table of contents to the body etc.
Level — 3 is an HTML application. More hyperlinks, simple search, a content tree having log a screen with a hardcoded username and password and supplied in the format of EXE so that Windows can easily open
Level — 4 is Software plus Content/manuals converted as Database
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Regarding Level — 5, rest assured, till 2028 it will be Level — 4 only. As of now, there is nothing practically called Level — 5. Few are calling virtual reality and Augmented reality and Artificial intelligence Level — 5.
Pulling data from many user inputs and analyzing and giving results are done in Level — 5. IETM software cannot pull the data from various real-time points as No OEM will give the real-time information to third-party software directly. Yes, if the information is available offline, then that information can be imported into IETM and can be used as a reference.
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tortugatime · 1 year ago
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so uh. been a minute since i've made an actual post huh.
all i can really say is that i'm entering an important year of high school, the world's been beating my ass, and that i'm doing my best to balance everything.
please be patient with me and i hope to make another art/au post soon. :P
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guardian-angle22 · 2 years ago
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I just think it’s so sweet and nice of Ronen to show his support reposting and commenting on that post of Rafa & Lyndsy
so as someone not on fandom ig/twitter, I was so confused with that anon the other day about people harassing Rafa, but I've since gathered from talk about it around here that it had to do with negative reactions from people on ig... this anon message prompted me to check out what Ronen reposted/commented and I braved the comment section and every single comment I see is happy & positive and I've scrolled pretty far. So whatever took place before (which I'm not aware enough to speak on since I clearly didn't know it had even happened), I think it's fair to say people are showing their love and support now.
and from what I've seen of Ronen, it seems like he's pretty good about hyping up the rest of the cast on social media in general and I agree that is sweet/nice of him to do that.
Part of me thinks Ronen is basically half of the 911 Lone Star marketing department the way he hypes up this show tho tbh.
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lacefuneral · 1 year ago
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fixed it:
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Love how ADHD, autism and schizophrenia objectively have the same amount of traits and experiences in common, but schizophrenics aren't welcome in the metaphorical club house because they're bad for the image the neurodivergency movement is currently trying to capitalize on and with "love" I mean fuck y'all
#<- was an uninformed dipshit a few years ago and has since learned#if you have any sort of brain that deviates from The Norm it is considered neurodivergence#most people use the word incorrectly to Just mean autism and ADHD. or personality disorders if they are generous#but literally refers to anything. including anxiety and depression#which was hard pill for me to swallow (lol)#as an autistic person that has always struggled with many things#i'd always had anxiety and depression as well#but i'd grown to view them as ''basic mental illnesses everyone has. so they don't count''#as if people don't struggle immensely just with these#as if these aren't disabling. don't affect how you perceive the world and interact with others#when we try to quantify neurodivergence in any sort of way. we are failing people#groups of people are always going to get left out#sometimes it's schizospec people. sometimes people with neurodevelopmental disorders like down syndrome#just. say brain stuff#because that IS what it means#unfortunately ND has become so synonymous with autism that it overshadows everything else#and i say this an autist#also ppl try to argue it only counts as ND if born with ir#most ppl develop schizophrenia later in life#i certainly was not born with PTSD#but my very earliest memories as a person i had severe e#anxiety and depression. because these are genetic and i received them from my pare ts#**parents#just as autism is probably genetic bc my sibling and their child is autistic
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vidyapun28 · 1 month ago
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago
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another shoutout for this video i hugely enjoy that’s somehow niche enough it’s only passed the thousand view threshold sometime this past year, which i can be confident about because previously i’ve kept going “i can’t believe this gem doesn’t have a thousand views already”
#i love it. people talking about How They Are Consciously Performing Comedically with each other#the kind of material where i laugh through this despite having seen it yknow a dozen times or whatever#given a seasonal aspect too in will talking about the it's a wonderful life impressions. as also discussed in that recent podcast interview#never gets old his immediately launching into said jimmy stewart then lionel barrymore impressions. the nasal They're Flawless. ''clearly''#and all the Asides people throw in here that are just Supporting w/e that person's talking about and then they play along in their response#this is ideal; to me; lmfao like Being Funny myself & just like please god someone interact with it properly lmao#this conversation >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> whatever NT ideal small talk to show you don't threaten each other or w/e#the way things understood as performative supports Genuine Substance / Communication so much better than ppl just ''being normal(tm)''#you gotta learn how to be funny man. how to be doing a little theatrical performance in a conversation. understand someone else's. etc#also have to shoutout the fun detail of will saying he can effectively recite the whole movie line by line & then ''i'm open to that''#the two camera setup here....delightful. grabbing this guy#also doing [Same] gestures thanks to the fact a lot of these [broadway related will roland interview] videos are naturally from 5 yrs ago#being the year following deh's broadway opening. which makes me the same age now as he was then. Handshake#and connecting as well [tbt that delightful interview of will's parents from bmc bway times that's just so Parental] wherein his mom has#that lore of like yeah his first words were lyrics from that sesame street abc song (not Thee abc song. the phonetics joke one. abcdefghi)#Life Imitating Art (this infant to elementary schooler doing imitations of televised performances)#will roland
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jawnwicks · 8 months ago
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Some of the most important parts for me:
“Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.”
"Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction."
"Smalltalk is a social script of exchanging trivial conversation about non-personal topics in order to pass a brief period of time together.
This sort of conversation is about figuring out whether you want to get to know each other better, so it's kind of a behavioral test. It's assessing "can I have a pleasant, brief conversation with this person?" because people usually want to know if the answer to that question is "yes" before they share more details of their lives."
"If the person speaking responds to your sharing of personal information with a request for more information (asks about your sister) or by sharing some of their somewhat more personal information (roses are blooming) they might be interested in continuing to gradually share more information. If they respond with more smalltalk, they probably aren't interested in becoming closer friends ... [but] maybe at some point they'll share something with you and it'll be your turn to decide if you want to get to know them better."
"Once you've seen someone several times, you will begin to know little things about them. ... If you want to become friends with them, ask them about these things and offer information in return. Start casually and don't pry for more information, and be sure to share about yourself as well. Eventually you will get to the point that you can have a comfortable conversation on topics of shared interest for at least a few minutes."
"If they agree to meeting up for the thing, they are interested in continuing to develop the friendship. If they don't want to meet up then continue at the same level of interaction as before and perhaps later on down they line they'll ask you if you want to plan a meetup."
"Once you have hung out on purpose a few more times you've got two choices: set a regular meetup, or hang out elsewhere. Setting up a regular meetup is the relatively casual option here; it keeps things in the same location and keeps the context of the friendship the same while still increasing interactions and intensifying the relationship. You can have perfectly good, if somewhat casual friends, who you see regularly in one place and rarely outside of that place."
"Hanging out in a new place changes the context of the relationship; suggest a hangout in a place that makes sense for the mutual interests you've learned over the previous months of getting to know the person."
"If you’re talking about the weather as in the first example, but you mention where you grew up and what the weather was like, that can be inspiration for the other person to also talk about where they’re from! But, unlike with a question, if they don’t want to share that information they can usually dodge it without having to make it extremely obvious that that’s what they’re doing."
Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?
Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.
It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you're weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it's weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won't think it's weird if you're someone they've seen a few times who says "hey" and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.
I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you're part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.
If there's a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.
Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.
In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other's cars.
Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.
This is also how making friendships at schools works - you're around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.
If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.
In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I'll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.
#this is legit the best advice i've ever seen for making friends#i can just SEE my problems in (particularly irl) friendship making now#combo of avoiding going beyond polite small talk my end out of Fear and Shame and not doing outside-of-context meetups bc Covid and Fear 2#i'm Very good at asking questions and inviting people to talk about themselves in a way that people clearly enjoy#but then it comes to them asking / me sharing and I shy away#which leads to me making a lot of “friends” who are quite self-centred and don't care to ask questions about me or stop dominating a convo#and other ND people who struggle with this stuff and actually enjoy/haven't been shamed out of infodumping#probably bc i (at least initially) feel more comfortable in those situations#but the ones who are naturally better at respecting my boundaries / are better at receptive conversation probably notice the shying away &#which is a P r o b l e m when either they're the self-centred kind or they're kind and just ND and i don't know how to change the balance -#- of the interactions once i'm more comfortable#<_>#i also struggle with not lying in the light conversation bc i know my truthful answers are not light and bubbly and easy#i don't mean 'how are you' 'not ok' i mean like 'what do you do for work' 'i work for my mother in her business' 'what's that like' 'awful'#😂#& i get all fight/flight when asked these questions that i immediately get flustered/scared and trip over my answers and EXTRA lie#how 2 balance between truth and scare off people - lie and make false friends#also the difference between direct cues and indirect cues is AMAZING to read about thank u so much#this whole post puts words and language to things I've felt and known without a language for them this whole time#guess i'm learning suddenly why people tend to find me very likeable but then I don't make actual friends lmao. and also why self-centred -#- people go NUCLEAR when I get fed up with being their perfect audience/moodboard & start putting boundaries in place. bc i've been sO gOod#this also rly helps explain to me why some ND people seem to go dead silent when I do an indirect cue rather than share Their thing about i#also the idea that this post is full of ableism is the most batshit thing known to man#THIS IS LITERALLY A GUIDE FOR DISABLED PEOPLE#resources
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