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luvdsc · 4 years

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mark lee sucks at technology.

tap the heart if you have a big, fat, embarrassing crush on your best friend!

pairing :: lee mark x reader genre :: fluff / best friend + social influencer au word count :: 5,883 words warnings :: none playlist :: dumb stuff (lany) ⋆ feeling (coin) ⋆ so far so good (gabrielle aplin) ⋆ electric love (børns) ⋆ love by mistake (bad suns) author’s note :: i was debating if i should post it on his bday instead, but i decided to drop it earlier, so uh, happy (approx. one week early) bday to mister absolutely fully capable (except when it comes to tech stuff) !!!! thank you for blessing us with your god tier raps ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.

In your required upper division business course aptly titled “Essential Marketing Strategies,” you had learned about a concept called personal brands. A personal brand is explained as the first impression a person wishes to perceive based on their own experiences, qualifications, and achievements. Your professor had told you and your classmates to pick three words to define your own brand. For instance, you chose to label yourself as charismatic, fun, and creative.

Your best friend’s brand would be awkward, endearing, and technologically challenged.

Okay, so that is definitely more than three words, but who’s counting? You might as well tack on “Y/N’s big fat crush” at this rate because everyone and their mother knows that you carry a torch—or more accurately, a blazing wildfire that can easily be spotted from Pluto—for your best friend.

Well, to be more precise, you should probably say everyone, except Mark, knows. And that’s not for lack of trying either. You completely dropped the art of delicate subtlety months ago already. Maybe you should add “hopelessly oblivious” instead.

The rolling end credits to the sixth Harry Potter film are playing on the screen in front of you, signaling the nearing end of your magical movie marathon. You’re seated on the worn down couch in Mark and Donghyuck’s shared apartment, watching the former make his drink with the fancy, gently used Keurig newly settled on the scratched countertop. Johnny dropped it off a few days ago because he had splurged on a better coffee machine (“It even makes Instagram worthy whipped frappuccinos!”) and didn’t want his old, but still perfectly functioning caffeine provider going to waste.

“What’s wrong with this thing?” Mark slaps the side of the machine, and it starts to emit a low whirring noise. “Oh, that’s good, right? That sound is good, you think?”

His question is immediately answered by the sad squirt of hot water speckled with coffee grinds falling into his mug for a few seconds before the machine shuts off.

“What the hell?” he mutters angrily, carding his hand through his hair in frustration, and you finally decide to take pity on your best friend. Getting up from the comfy spot you know you sadly won’t be able to recreate perfectly again later, you stride over to where your best friend stands and flip open the top of the Keurig.

“Hyuck didn’t take out his used coffee pod,” you say, pulling out the incriminating evidence of your best friend’s roommate and disposing it in the trash can next to the refrigerator. “Where’s the espresso one you’re gonna use? Why didn’t you put that in?”

His jaw slackens, and he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze and mumbling, “I thought I’d just open it later and pour it into my hot water.”

“Mark,” you start, placing your hands on his shoulders firmly and staring into his eyes with a serious look on your face. “Please know that I’m saying this in the most loving way possible, but you are an absolute idiot.”

You release your grip on his shoulders and grab the espresso pod dangling from his fingertips before slotting it into the Keurig. You remove the mug he placed underneath the spout and wash out the accidental coffee water before placing it back in its original position and pressing the start button on the machine. With a sigh, you lean against the side of the counter, glancing at your friend who looks like a child being scolded for stealing from the cookie jar.

“If you pour the pod into your mug, are you just going to chug all the loose coffee grinds, too?”

“... I didn’t think that far ahead.” His lips start to unintentionally form a tiny pout, and your eyes (and your heart, too) soften.

You’re very relieved that Donghyuck is off filming with your friend because he definitely would be making fun of your heart eyes that frequently make an appearance around a certain Mark Lee. Which you always deny. Because you certainly do not have a gigantic crush on your technologically inept best friend.

You glance over at him again and have to physically fight yourself to resist the urge to kiss his cute pout away. Okay, so maybe you harbor a very respectable, medium sized crush. But it's no big deal. It’s completely under control. Unless you’re counting the fact that your best friend is still unaware, and you’re running out of ideas to try and see if he likes you back before you actually shoot your shot. Then it’s very much not under control because you’re losing sleep over it and you don’t know what to do to be any more obvious without stating the, well, obvious.

“Well, now you know. If you forget, you can FaceTime me and I’ll give you instructions on how it works.” You pat his shoulder reassuringly before pausing. “Wait, you do know how to FaceTime, right?”

“Yes!” he exclaims, sulking even more before confessing in a quieter, defeated tone, “Hyuck showed me last month.”

Mark grabs his finished drink and follows behind you, settling back onto the couch next to you. The streaming service already has Deathly Hallows Part 1 in the queue and ready to go, and your best friend is ready to click play until he notices your attention being focused on the smaller screen in your hands. He wonders if you’re about to post another one of your popular cooking videos on that app that shares a name with the most iconic song of the 2000s (hint: the name of the song’s singer is made up of four letters and a dollar sign).

“Are you uploading one of your videos?” he implores before taking a sip of his drink with a satisfied smile. Somehow, it always tastes better when you make it, and he can’t figure out why for the life of him. When he went to Johnny’s place, his older friend uses the exact same pod and water ratio for his espresso, and yet, it’s never as good as yours.

“Nah, I’m ordering my grocery delivery before I forget. Do you want anything?” You select the option to load your usual grocery items into your cart before debating on whether or not you should splurge on buying several packages of those seasonal Pillsbury sugar cookies that only come in stock during certain holidays. It seems like such an insult to the entire premise of your Tiktok account based on baking and cooking, but you’re an absolute sucker for those soft pastries.

“Yeah, can you get me a Shin Ramyun ten pack? Hyuck ate the last one two days ago and didn’t tell me.”

“You sure you don’t want ten boxes again?” You decide to get those Pillsbury sugary delights, happily adding three boxes to your cart. Everybody has a weakness, and yours just so happens to be a premade one way ticket to diabetes. You’re here for a good, delicious time, not a long time.

“No! That was an accident!” He objects, flailing his hands around, before falling back against the couch cushions in defeat. “But Hyuck does all the online grocery shopping now.”

“Thank god. You guys finally have quality toilet paper again.”

The past month of bathroom occurrences was plagued with scratchy tissue that felt more like goddamn sandpaper from the horrible depths of hell. To be honest, you probably would have rather used actual sandpaper, given the choice. You even made sure not to drink too much water any time you came over, but today, you decided to splurge on a venti passion fruit iced tea with sweetener from that very popular franchise sporting a mermaid logo and fiscally cosmic name. To your pleasant surprise, your trip to the toilet this time was wonderfully padded with Charmin Ultra Soft, not that absolutely awful off brand one with the gross texture of a dried pinecone from inferno.

“Hey, that toilet paper was a good steal! It was a three for one deal,” Mark protests, and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Wow, I wonder why it was priced so low.” You deadpan, and Mark blanches, recalling all those restroom incidents that were rather rough. Literally.

“Anyway, do you think my viewers wanna see me make chocolate crinkle cookies or mochi doughnuts?” You bring up the two recipes you managed to perfect and add your own spin to on your phone, eyes scanning the ingredient lists.

“Both. And tell me when you’re making them, so I can come over and eat them.” He gives you a wide grin, and you let out a snort at that. His smile only grows as he says happily, “I love your job.”

“You only love it because you can freeload off of me,” you jest, but nevertheless begin to start to add all the ingredients for both recipes to your shopping cart. You always film cooking videos on Tuesdays, edit on Wednesdays, keep Thursdays free for last minute touch ups and emergencies, and post one every week on Fridays with other various random videos uploaded whenever in between. With that in mind, you schedule your upcoming grocery delivery for Monday.

“Hey, you need me. I’m the best taste tester.” He puffs up his chest proudly before hastily tacking on a more genuine reason. “And because I’d starve without you. I can’t live off of instant ramen and frozen chicken nuggets forever. Gordon Ramsay already confirmed my shitty cooking skills. I need you to survive.”

“Oh my god, when I uploaded those pics of your scrambled eggs on Twitter, I lost like a hundred followers in less than a minute.” You confirm the delivery and place your phone on the coffee table, picking up the opened bag of Cheeto puffs before settling back in your seat. “My cooking credibility was completely shot. I had to explain to my fans that I didn’t make those.”

“Yeah, but now everyone calls me Eggy Boi online!” he whines, and you laugh. You have to admit, it’s quite a funny play on the whole “edgy boi” terminology. You wonder if Mark will find it amusing if he discovers his roommate is the culprit behind his new online persona (He probably won’t, and you reckon Donghyuck enjoys living in a safe space where he doesn’t have to sleep with one eye open, so you stay quiet about it. You’ll use it as leverage some other time).

“Okay, Eggy Boi, come by on Tuesday because I’ll be baking in the afternoon,” you say casually, grabbing the remote control from your best friend and pressing play.

You very narrowly avoid a green gummy bear to the face. It lands somewhere behind the couch, lost forever to the dust bunnies and other snacks that missed its target. You know for a fact that it’ll stay there until the boys decide to move to a new apartment. Mark grumbles at the miss, biting off the head of a red cherry flavored gummy bear perhaps a little harder than necessary.

“I hate you. But I’m still coming over next week because I want a doughnut.”

“No cookie?”

“... and a cookie. Maybe two.”

Wednesday comes faster than you expected, and you’re currently holed up in your apartment’s second bedroom—which you had transformed into a snazzy office space—completing the edits to your second video on mochi doughnuts. You already finished polishing the one about the cookies earlier, thank goodness. If you had to stare at your computer screen for another three hours, you would rather eat those pastries Mark tried to make two months ago, but had mistaken salt for sugar. Adding a cup of salt to any baked good is an extremely effective way to make anyone who tasted your best friend’s brownies experience a trip to the beach. Because they essentially just swallowed a mouthful of sand and ocean water. Because it’s salty as heck. Just like Mark was when you told him.

Speaking of your best friend, he’s currently puttering around in your kitchen doing god knows what. He knows better than to try another recipe and possibly blow up your number one moneymaker—your prized oven—in the process. Your heart nearly drops when your ears pick up the faint chopping sounds of a knife against your wooden cutting board. Is he going to try to temper chocolate again? He nearly burned through your entire stock of dark, milk, and white chocolate last time.

After much contemplation and deciding that you deserve a good procrastination break and a fully intact kitchen, you’re about to go out and see what he’s up to when Mark timidly appears in your doorway, clutching onto a white bowl of watermelon cubes with a fork tucked neatly in it. He shuffles in, dropping the snack on your desk before turning to walk out without a word, not wanting to disturb your work mode.

Your heart warms up at the sight, and you speak up, a small smile slipping into your face. “What’s this for?”

“Knowing you, you probably haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.” He pauses in the doorway and adds on sheepishly, “And I can't cook anything, so this is what you get.”

Your heart swells tenfold, and your smile widens even more as you spear a piece of fruit with the fork and quickly pop it into your mouth. “Thanks, Marky.”

His cheeks flush with a pretty shade of carmine, and he fails to suppress the little giddy smile that appears on his face at your nickname for him. He walks out of your office, reddened cheeks still rising up higher than ever. “Y-Yeah, of course. No problem.”

By the time you finish adding the final few touches to your edited video, the bowl of watermelon has been picked clean. You save your video and transfer both of your completed projects to your phone, making a mental note to schedule their uploads and add them to your account’s posting queue later. Shoving your phone in the pocket of your sweats after ensuring the successful transfer of your videos, you pick up the empty dish and walk out towards the kitchen, the silver fork clinking against the side of the bowl with every step.

As you wash the dish and utensil, Mark wanders over from his spot on the couch, leaning forward and casually placing his chin on your shoulder. Almost instantaneously, you feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you briefly fantasize about your best friend wrapping his arms around your waist and how domestic and sweet the two of you would look, like one of those cheesy couples the two of you always made fun of.

“What’s up?” you ask, making a conscious effort to hold your voice steady and not waver over the fact that Mark is basically draped over you. After you place the dish on the drying rack, you turn around to face your best friend, sorely miscalculating the distance as mere inches separate your face from his now.

“I—” Puberty decides to make an ugly appearance in the form of an ill timed voice crack, and he internally curses as he takes a step back, willing the incoming blush to go away. Letting out a small cough, he tries again, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“I, um, Jisung sent me some kind of dance video. He said it’s a challenge? I kinda don’t know what to do with it? Like do I make a new dance, record myself, and send it back? Actually, isn't it easier to just do a dance battle face to face?”

“Can I see the video?” You already have a good idea on what the video will be, but you want to confirm it. Mark fumbles with his phone, pulling up the video in his text messages. He angles the phone towards you for you to see, and you grab his hand, bringing the device a little closer to you for a better look and clicking play.

“Oh, it’s a Tiktok challenge! He’s doing the Say So dance!” you exclaim, recognizing the song almost immediately as your eyes follow the fluid dance moves, completely enthralled. “So a challenge isn’t going up against someone, like a battle. It’s just some kind of trend or concept that you try to copy yourself. You’re supposed to learn the same dance and record yourself for this one. I can show you some other challenges and help you practice and record this one tomorrow if you wanna drop by after work!”

“O-Oh, okay, sounds good.” Mark stumbles over his words, attempting to focus on what you’re saying and the dance Jisung is doing, but all he can think about is the way your body is pressed against his side, hand comfortably wrapped around his. He freezes up as the tips of his ears grow redder and redder with every passing second, and his face sports a similar color. He silently prays for the telltale crimson to go away by the time the dance is over.

When the video ends, you once again realize the close proximity between you and your best friend. Your face burns at this revelation, and you awkwardly take a step back. Clearing your throat, you hastily release Mark’s hand (He inaudibly lets out the breath he’s been holding in this entire time, yet he also already misses the way your hand felt grasping his).

“Uh, anyway, I’m gonna make a latte. Do you want a drink, too?” You walk towards the other side of your kitchen with Mark trailing behind you. You take out a floral, peachy colored mug from your cupboards before pausing and looking at your best friend. “Wait, do you remember how to use a Keurig?”

“Yes!” He says, slightly exasperated as he picks out his own cup from your cabinet. He always uses the same one—a cerulean blue mug with squiggles all over it—and all of your friends and guests know not to use it because it’s unofficially officially Mark’s mug (And perhaps, you did indeed buy it from that overpriced kitschy tableware shop down the street two years ago with your best friend in mind).

“Really?” You select the latte option and press start after you had already positioned the mug beneath the spout and inserted a green tea matcha pod. He finally relents, shoulders sagging and a defeated expression on his face.

“... No.”

You chuckle, taking the mug from him and carefully putting it on the counter. You grab the espresso pod you know he likes from the drawer below and place it next to the cup. “It’s okay, I’ll teach you again.”

Mark tries. He really does. He tries very hard to concentrate on memorizing the simple process, but he keeps getting distracted. His eyes are focused on the correct button to push before they start to trail up to your fingertips. And then, they go from your hand to your arm, then up to the elegant curve of your neck, and finally, to the way your lashes frame your pretty eyes and how the tip of your tongue sticks out slightly as you concentrate until all he can focus on is you, you, you.

Suddenly, in what feels like a blink of an eye, you’re done and handing him his finished drink, complete with a perfectly whipped milk foam on top. You ask him if he knows how to make it now, and all he can do is lie and nod with a barely convincing smile.

After all, how can Mark tell his best friend that the reason he never remembers is because you’re the biggest distraction?

Mark should be here in five minutes, according to his most recent text message. And in the text message below that, your friend had sent you a challenge. More specifically, it’s the one she completed with Donghyuck a few weeks ago. When you said you wanted bold suggestions on how to figure out if your best friend feels the same way about you as you do about him, you didn’t want one this bold.

Yet, the video link to your friend’s “today I kissed my best friend” challenge along with a winky face from her is staring mockingly at you. While you aren’t one to back down from a challenge, the mere thought of kissing your best friend causes vast colonies of butterflies to erupt in your stomach and your ears to feel as if they have caught on fire. You’re already tongue tied with your head in the clouds, and he isn’t even here yet. How utterly fantastic.

However, your mother definitely did not raise a quitter, so you spring into action when you hear the faint jingling of a key being inserted into your apartment’s door (You had given Mark a copy of your key almost immediately after you had moved in). You move the pretty indoor fern given to you by Jaemin as a housewarming gift last year closer to the edge of your towering bookcase, leaning your phone against it. You quickly position the device to capture a good view of the couch area in your living room and press the record button, arranging a few of the leaves to hide as much of your phone as you possibly can without obstructing the lens.

You run full speed to your bedroom, letting out a sigh of relief when you’re safely inside and hear Mark finally unlocking the door successfully and shuffling in. When he calls out to you, you try to even out your breathing, walking out of your room with your tripod and laptop in hand.

“Hey,” you greet him in the most casual tone you can muster. You place the tripod down and sit before opening your laptop and setting it on the coffee table. “I thought we could watch a few challenges for fun before trying the Say So one. Have you watched Jisung’s videos before?”

“Um, well, no, not really,” he confesses sheepishly, taking a seat next to you on the couch, leg pressing against yours. He squints at the YouTube video you pulled up earlier before he had arrived, reading the title before clicking the space button to start it. “Savage Tiktok dance compilation part two?”

“Wait, hold up.” You pause the video and then turn to face him with an incredulous expression on your face. “You’ve never watched any of Jisung’s dance Tiktoks?”

“No… I don’t even have an account.” His cheeks are dusted with the lightest shade of pink as he quietly admits, “I watch all of yours though.”

Your eyes widen at his confession, face heating up as you stammer out, “O-Oh, well, I can help you make an account later to upload your video.”

“Sounds good.” There’s a few seconds of silence as you mull over his previous words before he speaks up again awkwardly, “Should I, uh, play the video?”

“Oh! Yes, right! Of course, hit play,” you laugh nervously, twisting and playing with the hair tie around your wrist. He starts the video again, and the two of you watch the compilation, slowly relaxing once more as you tap your fingers to the rhythm of the song and he bobs his head to the beat.

“Do I have to change outfits like that?” he questions a few minutes later, eyes growing round as he sees the girl on the screen switch between four different outfits throughout the dance. His closet basically consists of the same five black shirts that he stole from Jaehyun. Even if he did do an outfit swap, there would literally be no difference at all.

“You don’t have to,” you assure him, clicking the enter key to play the next video that’s recommended: another Tiktok dance challenge compilation. “All you have to do is copy the dance.”

Mark nods, taking a glance at the laptop screen before his hand shoots out and he pauses the video, leaning forward to take a closer look at the little recommended video title banner at the top. “Wait! What’s that one?”

He clicks on it, the new video now loading up. The two of you wait patiently for it to begin, waiting for the spinning disc to stop. But it doesn’t. In fact, the whole chrome page goes blank and then, the little pixelated Google Chrome dinosaur pops up on your monitor, announcing that you have no internet connection. Furrowing your eyebrows, you try to reload the page before trying to re-establish your laptop connection to your wifi. Unfortunately, you cannot find your appropriately named “drop it like it’s hotspot” wifi anywhere to connect to.

And that’s when it hits you. Your landlord had sent out a notice to the entire apartment complex last week about the electricity being powered down today from 4 to 6 p.m. for a maintenance check, and a quick glance at the digital clock on your laptop shows that it’s a little past four.

You groan, closing your laptop and flopping back against the couch cushions dramatically. Mark cocks his head, slightly confused, before he pokes you in the arm. “What’s wrong?”

“I completely forgot about the scheduled electricity shutdown for the entire building. We won’t have any wifi for the next two hours.” You pout, your bottom lip jutting out in the slightest, and Mark doesn’t think it’s fair that you get to be this cute and have this much of an effect on his racing heart rate.

“That’s okay, we can… play some board games?” he suggests offhandedly, pushing away the embarrassing thought and nudging your leg with his, and you smile before a sudden idea occurs to you.

“Or we can still do some Tiktok challenges! What was the challenge you clicked on?” You quickly sit upright, turning to face your best friend, eyes sparkling in excitement. “I memorized a few of the dance ones already! Was it Renegade? I can teach you that one. Jisung showed me how to do it.”

“Um,” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. His eyes dart everywhere, except you, as he lets out a feigned cough. “It wasn’t a dance one. It was about, uh, going up to your boyfriend… and um, hugging him... when he’s playing video games.”

“Oh.” You answer lamely, not knowing what to say. You unsuccessfully try to push away the image of you attempting that challenge with your best friend. “Those are really cute.”

“Really?” He says doubtfully, wrinkling his eyebrows and fiddling with the frayed sleeve of his sweater. “Wouldn’t the dude get mad?”

You don’t know what suddenly possessed you to do this (you’ll have to ask Renjun and his paranormal loving ass later), but you thank whatever demon did for that split second because you find yourself gently grabbing Mark’s arm and slipping your head underneath it. You swing one leg over his lap and settle down until you’re securely sitting in his lap, bent legs on either side of his hips, hands curled around the soft fabric of his sweater on both sides and resting on top of your thighs. His arms instinctively go around your waist, wrapping around you securely.

You tilt your head to the side slightly, studying the flustered boy in front of you with a teasing, albeit a little anxious, smile on your lips. “Are you feeling mad?”

Splotches of red litter his cheeks and decorate the tips of his ears, but your best friend furiously shakes his head at your question, bashfully ducking his head afterwards and muttering a soft “No.”

You swallow hard, heart pounding erratically in your chest as you timidly ask, “Would you be mad if I do this?”

Mark looks up at that, confusion written all over his face. His arms start to loosen around your figure, hands now resting on your waist. “If you do what?”

You take a deep breath. “This.”

You lean in and gently press your lips against his. Mark freezes in shock, and you quickly retreat soon after, gnawing at the inside of your cheek as you wait anxiously for his reaction. Your heart feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest and be buried six feet under.

A tiny noise of surprise belatedly escapes from him and crimson spreads across his cheeks like wildfire. His doe eyes are wide and sparkling, staring at you in bewilderment. Your best friend lets out a small laugh of disbelief before a full blown smile breaks out across his face. He gazes at you adoringly, breathing out softly, “I’m not mad at that.”

You perk up at that, draping your arms around his neck as you lean forward, beaming. “Really? You’re not?”

“Definitely not.”

This time, Mark meets you halfway, his lips slotting against yours perfectly and making you feel tingles up and down your spine. Your eyes are closed, and you are so hyper aware of the way his hands grip your hips, how he tugs you closer, and how his lips chase after yours. The number of butterflies from earlier multiply in your stomach, and you have ascended past cloud nine by now.

When the two of you break apart, your eyes flutter open, and you nudge your nose against his affectionately. The brightest grin blooms on his face once again, and he buries his face in the crook of your neck, muffling his little giggles and hiding the awfully vibrant cerise that rapidly blossoms on his face.

“Is this a good time to tell you congrats for completing your first challenge?” you say, resting your cheek against the crown of his head. You pull away when he lifts his head up, surprised.

“I wasn’t playing video games though,” he says slowly, processing your words and thinking back to the challenge that started this all.

“It was a different challenge. It’s the one that Hyuck did a few weeks ago,” you confess, and realization dawns on him, his face lighting up for a split second before a look of horror takes over.

“Oh, no. Is that why you had your phone recording on the bookshelf?” Mark asks, dread beginning to cloud his mind.

“Yes…” you say slowly, a little perplexed. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Oh my god, I ruined your video,” he moans, dropping his forehead onto your shoulder. “I saw your phone when I walked in and thought you were filming earlier and forgot to turn it off, so I turned it off for you.”

When the words finally register in your mind, you can’t stop the laughter from bubbling out of your throat, and he raises his head up to look at you with wide doe eyes at the pretty sound. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

You can’t stop laughing at the situation, and he looks at you worriedly, gnawing on his bottom lip slightly. You force yourself to calm down, a soft chuckle leaving your lips before you beam at him, leaning in and placing the softest kiss on the tip of his nose. “It’s okay, Mark. I’m not mad. That video wasn’t important anyway.”

“But still,” he whines before letting out a groan and slapping his hand against his forehead when the realization sinks in even further. “I’m such an idiot.”

“But you’re my idiot now, right?” you say teasingly, albeit a little shyly as well, as you reach over to tug his hand away from his face and lace your fingers with his.

“I mean, I kinda thought I was always your idiot,” Mark laughs softly and a little embarrassedly, eyes averted and cheeks turning pinker than ever. The largest grin spreads across your face at that, and you turn away slightly to hide it. You didn’t think your best friend can possibly be any more endearing, but he manages to prove you wrong every time.

“Well, then now you can add ‘Y/N’s boyfriend’ to your resume,” you say, and he fails to suppress the pleased smile appearing on his face at your remark, his rosy cheeks rising even taller than skyscrapers.

“So, uh, what sort of job description does that have?” He gazes at your intertwined hands in wonder, still completely giddy at the reality of you being his best friend and something more.

“Sharing hoodies, giving me attention, kissing, holding my hand, going on dates, you know, the basics,” you answer, squeezing his hand tenderly, and his doe eyes instantly light up. Mark feels a little bolder than before, and it shows when he grins widely and says:

“Can we do number three again?”

“Yes, we can, Eggy Boi.”

He wrinkles his nose at the name, disgruntled and unimpressed, as he crosses his arms over his chest, sulking. You let out a laugh before leaning in and crashing your lips against his. He immediately relents at that, enthusiastically responding and hugging you closer to him, and you can’t help but smile into the kiss as you feel his own smile appear as well.

At that moment, you decide that you want to change Mark’s personal brand. Because his should be “absolutely wonderful, positively amazing, a cute kisser, your boyfriend, and your bestest friend.” And yes, that is most definitely more than the allotted three words, but again, who’s really counting?

Certainly not you when you’re too preoccupied with kissing your best friend. Correction: best friend and new boyfriend.

One new notification: donutkillmyvibe uploaded a new video!

moominjun commented:

so you’re saying the reason why we didn’t get the highly anticipated best friend challenge video is because @ marklyrawr turned the camera off?

donutkillmyvibe replied: yes 😔 I’m sorry to disappoint everyone 🤧

nanaislove replied: omg no bby it’s ok 🥺🥺💞💓💓💝💗 you didn’t have to make an apology video for that 🥺💗💓💘💖

goofys.chuckle replied: yeah it’s mark’s fault. he’s the disappointment here 🥴

morklyrawr replied: hahahahaha stfu hyuck

tytrack commented:

mark is going through puberty. I apologize

dobunny replied: @.@

goofys.chuckle commented:

are we getting whip(ped)lash pt 2 by eggy boi?

morklyrawr replied: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO STARTED THAT NAME?????

goofys.chuckle replied: uh gotta blast 🚀

showmethemonet replied: @ goofys.chuckle does this mean you’re staying over again?

goofys.chuckle replied: @ showmethemonet yes if you want your super cute, mega talented, very handsome boyfriend to still be alive 🥺

showmethemonet replied: @ goofys.chuckle oh my god I didn’t know I was dating bts jin???

moominjun replied: LMFAOOOOO

goofys.chuckle replied: heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰ i don’t know 🤔 what to believe 💯 mama 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 said 🗣 it’s my fault 😢 it’s my fault 🤦🏻‍♂️i wear my heart ❤️ on my sleeve 💪 i think it’s best 👍🏻 I put my heart ❤️ on ice 🧊

jenojam commented:

why am I not surprised……

itsmebetch replied: just mark thingz 🍉

suhprisemf commented:

mark your head looks flat af

jungjaeprince replied: 😂😂😂

10vely replied: @ jungjaeprince be quiet don’t cry

letswonwon commented:

whoop whoop

junguwu commented:

OMG CONGRATS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP SWEETIE 😍😍

takoyaki_prince commented:

MARK!!!!! you look handsome !! 😘

jisungpwark commented:

rip to @ donutkillmyvibe ’s future videos that mark will ruin. press f in the chat to pay respects 🙏🏻

bigheadking replied: F ✊🏻😔

peachyangel replied: f 🥺🥺

yoitslucas replied: F 🤪🤪🤪 but glad you’re happy, man ❤️

donutkillmyvibe replied: F 💔

morklyrawr replied: @ donutkillmyvibe wtf babe????

officialgordonramsay commented:

didn’t i tell you to get back on tinder ?

apado_god commented:

nice 😎👍🏻

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meetmeatthecoda · 3 years

Note

(star emoji) for Grifting With The Enemy :D

Pumpkin!! 🧡🧡🧡 Hello, my dear friend, thank you so much for your endless interest & support!! 😍😍 And for giving me a reason to re-read GWTE, which I haven't done for a loooong time!! 😂😬 (But, the good news is, it low-key got me inspired to hurry up & finish it!! 😏) BUT - in the meantime - here's some BTS info from my re-read under the cut, which is a lot - fair warning - since it's a 4 chapter fic & counting!! ❤️

LOL I forgot how stressful it is coming up with names for random extra people in fics, I hate doing that LOL But I did think it was important to open with Red NOT being a merciless crime lord who kills anyone who displeases him, cause - while he does have that side to him when necessary - that's not who Red is or wants to be.

I liked including that little moment with Red & Dembe about the parallel parking. I love those father/son & brotp moments for them, they're just the best. I tried to sprinkle those in wherever I could in Red's POV in this fic.

I loved the mental picture of Liz - with glasses & beanie a la The Harem - just leaning casually against a bookshelf the first time Red sees her... & he's immediately captivated, just like in canon. Especially with her eyes, I can't NOT write any version of Red that is not completely blown away by Liz's eyes, I mean, come on I also thought it was important that he thinks she's much younger than she is (intentionally part of her persona) & I'm looking forward to writing the reveal of her true age in a later chapter.

I loved writing a Liz that instantly challenges Red, already having heard about him (& more than that, as revealed in chapter 2) & point blank telling him she may refuse the job bc she has a say too. I liked keeping - & even amplifying a little - that dynamic from canon!Liz of always surprising Red & keeping him on his toes, all while he's trying so desperately to stay ahead of her & impress her.

I LOVED writing the brush pass scene - that moment where Red realizes he has officially underestimated her - & LOL I completely forgot I wrote that part about the condom LMFAO wow past!Coda, mighty daring of you 😂😂😂

Plus, I couldn't help the bonus bit about her stealing his phone & tossing it to him to end the chapter, that was just so fun to throw in there!!

I liked opening chapter 2 with Red still thinking about Liz, just to show how she captured his attention, even before he finds out she's been stealing from him. And I liked writing that revelation without any anger on his part, with him understanding it wasn't a full-scale attack on his empire, she's just a thief taking well paying jobs where she can get them, & instead it just shows him how talented she is. I thought that was an important thing to clarify before moving forward.

I LOVED writing Red & Dembe surprising Liz in her apartment, especially the part with Red's snooping & being confused & surprised by what he sees there. I loved kind of creating/designing Liz's apartment to showcase her true self, not her "young thief" persona that Red falls for at first. I wanted it to be clear that Red is fascinated by her seeming duality from the start (canon LOL) as well as just straight-up attracted to her (also canon LMAO).

Also I gave Liz a loft apartment cause I've always loved those!!

And I LOVEDDD writing Red super confident about surprising her & looking forward to taking her off guard by settling in on the couch & all that macho man stuff, only to be rendered fucking dumbstruck when she comes downstairs with no pants on lmfao & I included that little detail of her usually wearing a knife on her leg to show she's not to be underestimated 😏 & I couldn't help but throw in there Dembe kicking the back of the couch, that made me cackle lmfao

I think the truce was important to establish asap bc I didn't want any secrets or lingering animosity between them. That's for canon 😒 Only flirting & sexual tension here, thank you very much.

I had to include Red being a gentleman & asking if she wanted to get dressed, but I also couldn't resist Liz being confident & careless about it, while still hiding tactfully behind the counter. I thought that was a cute exchange.

lmfao of course, I included their coffee preferences being noticed by the other, I think that's an obligatory thing in any Lizzington fic ever, I'm so guilty of that lmfao

I loved the idea of Red being ready to start on a classic Red's Blacklister Presentation but Liz once again stops him in his tracks (while still secretly being impressed by his presence, of course, & I even accidentally switched POVs for no reason to include that?? nice Coda lmfao) as well as trading barbs & quips with him while Red feels awful & guilty at any accidental slights bc he can't bear to insult her.

AM&R vs. AR&M whoops typo lol

I liked the little snippet of dark!Red we see in their conversation of consequences for his enemies, that way Liz sees a little bit of what he's capable of & Red sees how she's not phased by it.

And that last little flirtation & wink to finish the chapter - lol can't resist

Ooooh, I loved switching to Liz's POV (fully ha) for chapter 3, I enjoyed describing how head over heels she is for Red already, that was fun. I liked writing about her lil movie day & chores she's completed, as well as fleshing out her AU past a little with Sam & her young grifting experiences. And her burning her popcorn while daydreaming about Red cause... same 😏

Ooooh, phone conversations are always so fun to write between them, I love trying to get that perfect mix of joking & sincerity & flirting & pining & pressing the phone close to their ear.

I thought it was important to keep (or rather re-invent, since TPTB seemed to drop it like a hot potato 😒😒😒) Liz's intense interest & respect for psychology, especially as a reason for being attracted to Red, since it kind of mirrors one facet of his interest in her. Not to mention Red thinks at first that it's just a useless, do nothing degree for her LOL

Ohhh, I loved establishing that mutual respect & friendliness between Liz & Dembe early on, that's such a fave of mine, I've always loved their friendship & thought it had a lot of potential. Liz loves & respects Dembe for keeping Red safe & Dembe loves & respects Liz for being so dear to Red.

Ugh, I LOVED writing Liz so completely disarmed by Red's relative state of undress at his safe house (paralleling her pants-less parade in chapter 2, of course) bc sameeeeeeee girl.

I also had fun writing Red blabbing on about some story as he often does, meanwhile Liz has already picked the lock on the safe, once again impressing & surprising him while she admires his different passport pics. That was so fun.

And I loved the quick shift to just a little animosity between them with Red insulting her lockpicks & Liz flaunting her thefts from him. I think those little spats give a little electricity & tension to the relationship, even if they blown over quickly, which they always do. And the fact that Red apologizes & they shake hands & make up is very refreshing to me (since they never fucking do it in canon lol fml) & also it's an excuse to write a little teasing physical contact & sexual tension 😁😁😁

And damn, I forgot how fun it is to throw a little teasing jab in there at the end of a chapter, just for fun - probably bc I'm allergic to multi-chapter fics & never write them lmfao wow

Ahhhhhhhh. I remember how much fun I had writing this whole restaurant scene, partly bc it was a difficult & long process (trying not to make all the flirting & physical movements repetitive while fitting in all the necessary dialogue in a semi-non-boring way lol) but also bc it was so fun writing their back-and-forth while seated at a table alone with nowhere else to go & nothing to distract them. I also wanted to take the opportunity to show Red's genuine interest in her as a person & let them spend some quality time together for the first time. I loved the idea of them losing track of time & Dembe having to come interrupt them with a knowing smirk. Also I def referred to the Olive Garden website for the food they ate cause I'm lame lmfaooo

I thought it was cute to throw in that Liz almost couldn't find Red when she arrived but for the fedora marker he placed out for her & then when she's leaving, she can feel his gaze on her the whole way out. Little parallels like that are my guilty pleasure 😁

Omggg I forgot about the end of this chapter, I remember I wanted Red to surprise Liz yet again & I thought the dessert snuck into her bag was a cute touch. Plus, tiramisu is a favorite of mine 😋 I also tried to make the vibe of this phone call a little softer & more tentative, not so much on tender hooks with lots of tension as the previous ones have been, showing how they're getting used to each other & falling in love at a break neck pace lol

Welp, that's all 4 chapters that are posted buttttttttt a sneaky look at my document that I haven't opened for an embarrassingly long timeeeeeee shows my sketch for the rest of the fic which revealssssss....... a detailed 10 chapter map with an epilogue!! Wow, I forgot I sketched everything out in such detail, this isn't too bad, maybe I should actually write this 😂😂😂 And I promise I will, hopefully sooner rather than later!! ❤️❤️❤️

Well, there you go, Pumpkin, I hope that didn't take you too long to slog through & there was something enjoyable in there for you!! 😂 Thank you so much for your interest again, my lovely friend, & getting me excited about this fic again!! 🥰 Much love to you, always, Pumpkin!! 🧡

Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #fanfic #Grifting With The Enemy #ask games #fanfic writers: director's cut #mine #ask #codewordpumpkin #thank you again my friend!!#:D #i hope you enjoy this #:)#much love!!#<3

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 3 years

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Goddamn it Kyra I wasn't even interested in the Lego Lokis before, but now that you've so rudely posted pics of the options I'm probably going to have to buy some. So, couple questions: I'm not familiar with the website you linked to (it doesn't help that I'm on my phone lol) - do you get them from that site or just Aliexpress? I've kind of poked around there but I don't think I've ever actually bought anything - do you have links to those ones you bought or any tips for finding them on the site? (or like. using the site in general without getting scammed or something? Idk much about it other than stuff being low priced lol).

😇😇😇

putting the rest behind a cut because oops this got long

OKAY SO the cool thing about knockoff Lego figures is that a) there are a ton of them, so you can probably find multiple versions of most characters, and b) they're super cheap, so if you do end up getting ripped off, you're probably only out a few bucks. plus if you don't get ripped off, you feel like a genius, because authentic Lego minifigs tend to cost way more than they should (and if you get them online, you probably don't have a good way to know that they're authentic) and here you are getting something just as good or better for way less.

the site I was getting pictures from is HeroBloks, which I only just discovered myself a couple days ago; it looks like mostly it's good for tracking your collection (and learning more about bootleg Lego minifigs in general, maybe--I didn't really realize until now how many different companies there are making Lego-like minifigs) rather than buying, with individual pages including sale links that are only mildly useful. like, the extremely sad TVA Loki has an AliExpress search link that apparently just searches for "blocks," which is the least helpful search term imaginable; the eBay link uses "xinh+xh1745+loki (tva)" as the search term and that's definitely better, although it doesn't actually turn up anything. maybe that one's too new to be widely available yet, I don't know. (I hope that's the case. I need him and his sad little face to come and live with me.)

anyway--eBay is a possible source. searching for "loki minifigure" gets me results for several of the new ones I’ve been seeing, and they all seem to be shipping from Japan or South Korea. the problem is they're all selling for $4.99 plus $7.49 shipping each, which is...more than I want to spend on something I know is a knockoff of some kind when I don't know anything about the quality control and I'm not guaranteed to get what's in the picture. (here's another listing asking $40 total for all 8 figures I bought yesterday, which is actually a better price, and I'd probably end up doing that if I hadn't found them elsewhere, but that's because I have a problem.)

this is why I like AliExpress, because the risks are slightly higher but the prices tend to be much lower, even with shipping prices having gone up a bit over the last couple years. as I understand it, the site is basically just a huge marketplace for tons of different sellers in Asia, like if eBay only allowed fixed-price listings and it was based in China. the vast majority of the site reads like it went through Google Translate, because it probably did. you can find...basically anything there. I have no idea if any of it's authentic. (I also don't know anything about how or where any of the knockoff stuff is made, so...there is that.) I would not, for instance, drop $300 on a Hot Toys Loki from here, even though I absolutely would have the option to do so, for the obvious reason that I'm not going to risk that much money on an item that might be a cheap knockoff or could arrive broken. there is, in general, a solid possibility of breakable things arriving broken, because decent packaging costs more. cheap shipping will be slow (by which I mean like...up to 90 days), and most purchases either won't have tracking at all or won't have accurate tracking, so this is absolutely not a place to buy anything you want to get quickly. you also don't want to just buy something and forget about it, because there are (variable but generous) time limits past which you can't get a refund if you don't receive your items. the site's UI is...mostly functional. you often have to get a little creative with your search terms to find what you want (and sometimes you won’t find what you want through searching, but through looking at related items on the pages of things that aren’t quite what you want or are what you want but aren’t a good price). you will, absolutely, come across a lot of stolen art on things like pins, t-shirts, stickers, and phone cases, which you might not realize until you see something you recognize from a fanartist you like, and obviously that sucks. listing photos are nearly always stock photos, so in many cases they won't tell you anything about the item you're actually getting. you know the Wish app, and all the crazy things people get from that? you can find all the same stuff on AliExpress, at similar levels of quality.

however, if you approach it keeping all that in mind, it can be a great resource. I can't make any guarantees about the site's safety, but to the best of my knowledge it's secure and I've never had any weird charges show up after buying something. it's also my understanding that Alibaba, the parent company, is more or less the Chinese equivalent of Amazon in terms of the amount of business it does, which would probably be pretty tough if customer data were routinely being exposed to thieves, you know? I've also successfully gotten several refunds for items that never arrived, which actually hasn't happened all that often--but knowing that it can happen and that the return period expires, I’ll check back on the site if it seems like it’s been an unusually long time and I’ll make a reminder for myself of the deadline so I can contact the seller in time if necessary.

so the way I shop there is, I don't buy expensive or fragile things in general, because I recognize there's a nonzero chance I'll get a cheap knockoff, or something that was broken in transit because the seller tossed it in a box with no padding and called it good, or sometimes nothing at all. but like eBay, the sellers and items have ratings and reviews from customers, so that helps avoid some risk. items with lots of reviews tend to include at least a few customer photos, which are great for getting a better idea of what the thing you're buying actually looks like. I took a bit of a risk last year buying a Hot Toys (or the equivalent, I actually have no idea) Steve Rogers head for about $20, for instance, but I wasn't super worried about it because the customer photos looked good, the seller I used had a lot of sales and a lot of good ratings, and it was still a lot less than I would've paid for an authentic Hot Toys Steve Rogers head--and in fact he got here just fine and he looked fantastic. I also spent about $20 for a knockoff Iron Studios Loki statue, because in that case it was like...yep I’d love the real thing, nope I’m not willing to spend hundreds of dollars on it, yep I am willing to spend $20 on something that doesn’t look quite as nice but still looks good enough for me in the customer photos. well, and I’ve also bought knockoffs I knew would look bad, because they were cheap and I want all the Lokis and I have enough of an addiction that all the Lokis does in fact sometimes mean “even ones that look really bad” to me.

anyway, uh, Lego-type minifigs. this is an especially good area to go knockoff, because--okay, apparently I can’t link to a page of HeroBloks search results for some reason, but it’s the best resource I’ve found for this type of thing that isn’t just authentic Lego figures. but if you go there and do a search for “loki” you’ll get a bunch of results and you’ll see that they come from like...9 or 10 different brands. Lego specifically has only four Loki options: Avengers Loki in black, Avengers Loki in gray for some reason (which, frankly, looks like a cheap knockoff but isn’t), movie-inaccurate Ragnarok Loki with the blue outfit and the full helmet, an ugly Classic Loki, and a mostly green Loki from I guess the first Thor movie (and then I think they’re going to release a TVA Loki, a Sylvie, and a Throg). all those other results--all those different outfits from every single Loki appearance, and different variations on those outfits, nearly all of them more screen-accurate and/or detailed than the Lego versions--are technically knockoffs. they’re better and you can buy them for way less. (I mean, a lot of them are new so I don’t have them yet, but I do have frost giant Loki, better Ragnarok Loki, better Avengers Loki, opera Loki who actually has another face that’s half-Jotun, and at least one chrome-helmet option, and they all look basically like the photos. so I think I can reasonably expect most of the new ones to look basically like their photos too.)

for reasons that I don’t understand aside from a vague guess that it’s copyright-related, AliExpress pretty much no longer shows full pictures of Lego-type figures in their listings--instead, you have to pick just based on the heads. this is a problem when lots of heads look very similar to each other! luckily, the listings also typically have the actual serial numbers for each figure, as do the HeroBloks listings, so you can cross-reference them to see what you’re really getting. for instance let’s take this listing because it’s cheap and it offers most of the Loki figures that are currently available. say you’re interested in one of the horn-less Lokis. there are...let’s see, five of them, but you have no idea what they actually look like aside from slightly different facial expressions and maybe weapons. however, the first one listed says XH1359 for its color...and what do you know, 1359 is the serial number for this Loki by a company called Xinh. okay cool, how about the last one? the “color” is listed as WM2182--and yes, HeroBloks has a listing for a Ragnarok Loki from World Minifigures with the serial number 2182. (I just ordered all 8 of the new World Minifigures ones yesterday, so again, I can’t personally guarantee yet that they’ll look as good in person as in the pictures--but I think they probably will, and more importantly they cost a whole dollar each.) and if HeroBloks doesn’t have a particular figure, you can probably find something useful just by googling the serial number.

I specifically bought from this listing yesterday because they currently have a bit of a sale going and a deal for free shipping if you buy 10 figures, and I wanted a couple duplicates, so it worked out to be the cheapest option. the same store has another listing for a bunch more Marvel characters, including a couple more Lokis I already had, so it should be pretty easy to get the free shipping so the figures are less than a dollar each and you’re only risking about $10. if you’d rather try one or two and see how it goes, it looks like this listing is probably the cheapest, with figures currently going for a little over a dollar each once you add shipping (although it’s totally possible shipping is more for me because Alaska).

that’s...probably already way more information than you really wanted, but I hope at least some of it makes sense. feel free to ask other specific questions if they come up--I might not be able to give answers exactly, but I can probably tell you what my experience has been, which is better than nothing.

#loki #action figures #lego #marvel cinematic universe #conversations #scintillatingshortgirl19

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dystopiandilfs · 3 years

Text

I just remembered some other things that really annoy me so here's another list.

Repost tiktok and Instagram accounts especially ones that don't give credit.

The honey chewing videos like stop looking at the camera whilst you eat honey it's gross fuck off.

People who shame interests that don't match theirs. Like not a football stan account shaming someone for liking Minecraft. Their interests have nothing to do with you and yours has nothing to do with them so leave them alone.

Adults who fake having child like mannerisms like taking small bites of foods and trying to look cute and childish.

People who think that only child means snobby. Especially when most kids are the only child because their parents couldn't afford to pay for more than one child. We're not in a wattpad story where the rich bully is an only child.

Daddy Long legs and stick insects.

People who try to force their opinions on others no matter the subject like let people have different opinions and ideologies than you.

People who think that not downloading tiktok is a flex or a personality trait.

People who pretend to be living under a rock it's not making you a unique person.

I don't like people who gatekeep "fandom" things like i promise you a 13 year old discovering MCR isn't going to ruin it for you but if it does that's completely on you not them, you're the one getting offended over someone else's entertainment.

People who spend time defending their favs from the general public. The person you're defending doesn't care and in a week the person you were fighting will have forgotten that some random fan account started attacking them for having an opinion.

People who try to assign colours to school subjects and then fight over it. It's a colour and subject why are you upset over it.

Artificial fruit flavouring especially banana.

Healing and meditation stuff. If you like it and believe it that's fine but my ADHD can not sit still for that long and listen to some woman ramble about inner peace and tranquility.

People who claim that new fans ruin things. For example saying that the original Harry Potter fans were way better than the new ones is weird like it's not that deep and I'm sorry you can't handle change but get out of the past grandma.

People who shame situations like why are you bullying a child for having lice, why are you bullying someone for being uneducated on things. Same as poor shaming. That's weird.

Instagram couples.

Burner accounts made with the sole purpose of bullying people like do it on your main account you fucking coward. At leas they're open about their opinions instead of hiding anonymously.

Carrds. Especially ones used as informational things.

The phrase "through thick and thin" or "through all the ups and downs" being used in celebration or anniversary posts like that is low-key a backhanded compliment. We're still together even after the 6 times you cheated on me = We've been through thick and thing together.

Stairs without railing or with gaps in-between them. I hate them.

People who use their minority card as a way to get things. "You have to agree with me or you're racist" or "@ *insert celeb* follow me or you're homophobic" Same as guilt tripping people by using the minority card and trauma card. Like I'm sorry your whole family got eaten by a dragon but it doesn't give you the pass to be a demanding bitch.

The whole "Android is worse than iPhone" and "Android user derogatory" thing. First off the only reason is because iPhones can't save android photos without ruining the quality which is by the iPhone fault. Secondly it's poor person shaming. Like why is it any of your business what phone someone uses they all have the same functions. Like I hate to break it to iPhone users but you're literally being ripped off, you can get the same phone or an even better one for less than half the price.

Unsolicited dick pics and people who blackmail using revenge porn. Both of which is illegal might I add both under sexual and cyber harassment.

People who shame things like tattoos, piercings and dyed hair. Like let someone express themselves they're not harming anyone by tattooing a heart on their wrist and getting a nose ring.

#things that annoy me

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armory-rasa · 6 years

Text

Long tutorial time: How to Take Product Photos That Don’t Suck

If you’re trying to sell your handcrafted work online, then your photos matter so much -- I daresay almost more than the work itself.

“Upcycled” items that are literal trash (but attractively photographed!) can sucker people into paying actual money for them. And on the flip side, the best-quality leatherwork in the world is going to look dubious af when the product shots were obviously taken in someone’s kitchen, lit by fluorescent lights and a camera flash.

You will get more sales and you will be able to charge more for your work if you have professional-looking product photos -- not fair, maybe, but true. So today I am going to show you how to create decent-looking stock photos, ie, a picture of just the thing itself on a backdrop.

(The cat is unrelated -- clickbait, really.)

I’ll admit upfront that I am very, very far from being a photography expert, and I'm sure an expert could do better than me, but I can't afford an expert and probably neither can you. And this isn’t about the mechanics anyway, it’s about the setup, and just making these small changes can seriously up your game.

Step one: camera

Unless you've already got a good camera, your best bet is going to be a smartphone -- and make no mistake, smartphones are a close second, not a distant one. Modern smartphones are phenomenal, they’re far better than even slightly-dated digital cameras. They can't get you the soft-focus background that an actual, professional camera can (the lens simply isn't long enough), but you can approximate that effect with photoshop if you want to, and the set-up I'm demonstrating here doesn't need a fuzzed background anyway.

The only critical feature is that your camera can take sharp, in-focus pictures.

If you don't have a good smartphone, find a friend who does and beg/wheedle/blackmail/bully them into letting you use it for a bit.

Honestly, I've got a good camera, and half the time I still wind up using my phone because I’m too lazy to bust it out.

Step two: backdrop

There are a lot of artistic things you can do if you're taking pictures of a product in situ -- action shots, still lifes, pictures of it worn by models -- and all that will help your customers visualize themselves using the item, but it's also vital to have pictures of JUST the thing, pictures that cleanly and clearly show exactly what the customer is going to be receiving in exchange for the money they throw at you -- aka stock photos.

And for stock photos, you don't want to get creative with your background. In fact, if you can use the same background for many/most of your images, it will contribute to an attractive, coherent look for your shop. That means finding a neutral-toned backdrop that will work with any color item you put on top of it -- white, black, grey, beige, basically.

White can mean a lightbox...

(And there are a million tutorials online for how to rig up your own DIY lightbox)

...or another popular alternative is a white table pushed up against a white wall; the seam between the two is visible, but discreet enough that the eye glides right over it.

Black, you can do with cleverdick manipulation of the settings on an expensive camera, or you can find a non-reflective black backdrop -- which is easier said than done. Fine, dense, matte black velvet (think theatre curtains) is the go-to black backdrop, just make sure you run a lint roller over it before taking pics.

Any other color is going to depend on the backdrop you choose -- I personally have had excellent luck with some warm-grey velvet (?) yardage that I picked up for pennies at a goodwill a million years ago. (I’m not sure what it is -- it has the pile of velvet, but shorter?) I didn’t buy it for that purpose, but it’s since proven to be an incredibly versatile backdrop, and I’ve taken to using it for everything:

etc.

And even if you’re not stumbling onto a super-good-deal at goodwill, a yard or two of your chosen fabric will generally do you fine.

What I don’t recommend is:

- shiny fabric (anything shiny is overall more difficult to photograph -- and shiny spots will draw attention to themselves, rather than your product)

- vivid colors (limits what color items you can display on it; will often clash if the item is close-but-not-quite-the-same color (and what looks fine to your eye may not look fine on film); can distract from the item you’re showcasing)

- patterns (again, distracts from the centerpiece; draws attention to the background; moreover, is hell to clone-brush)

Here is all three of them being the perfect storm of not-a-good-stock-photo:

Which is not to say you can’t do something artistic with it...

...but it’s not very versatile, and it’s not exactly “stock photo” anymore.

One of the reasons I really really like velvet for a backdrop is that there’s nothing in the world easier to clone brush. Which happens, for instance, if I get my roll of photos transferred to the computer and realize there’s some lint I neglected to brush off, or if I was too lazy to iron my backdrop so it’s got wrinkles/creases in it, or if the angle I had to take the photograph from clipped the edge of the backdrop--

--it is super fuckin’ easy to clone all that out. (It also takes the burn tool really well, to darken the edges and point the viewer’s attention toward the middle of the picture, see above.)

Other backdrops that can work are fur (or faux fur):

The great outdoors: mulch, leaves, dirt, sand, etc--

(That was taken at my shitty old apartment complex, so I had to carefully remove the cigarette butts from the shot first. -_-)

(I admit I’ve mostly stopped using these kind of outdoor backdrops -- they’re harder to pull off than wood/concrete/fabric -- but in the hands of someone with an eye for composition, they can definitely be used to good effect, so I’m including them here anyway. You just want to make sure that the background isn’t distracting from the item, which you can sometimes do in post by darkening/fuzzing the background relative to the focal object.)

Concrete:

And wood:

In short, there are many things that are (1) unobtrusive and (2) neutral-colored that will make excellent backdrops.

Professional photography backdrops (essentially, the velvet I have) are close to true neutral, not affecting the “feel” of the picture at all, and there are tons of tutorials online to make your own DIY photography backdrops.

Conversely, you can also use a specific backdrop to help create the mood you want to convey for the piece -- concrete for gritty and urban; fur to evoke a rich and sumptuous feeling (or a primitive one, depending on what you’re selling); wood or rough-spun cloth for something rustic; dirt and leaves to take it back to nature.

I’m not going to say the sky’s the limit, because we’re talking stock photos not ARRRRT!!, you gotta rein it in a bit, but you do have a lot of options -- anything that’s not going to clash with the mood or distract from your product.

Step three: lighting

USE THE FUCKING SUN.

Don’t ever, ever use a flash for product photography, seriously, are you some kind of SAVAGE?

Cardinal sin right there; go straight to hell, do not pass go, etc. Lighting like that, your product looks like it’s drunk at a frat party.

Moreover, unless you are a wildly over-funded professional, and possibly not even then, there is no light source superior to the sun. Sure, if you finish your project at midnight and can’t wait to share it, take some snapshots in your shitty studio light and send them to your friends--

--but do not make that your product listing photo. You can do so much better.

(And notice the color difference too -- natural light tends to be much better at capturing color that is true-to-life. The second picture is far more accurate to the actual item.)

That said, direct sunlight is a HELL NO go. The shadows it casts are way too stark, and details can get lost because the camera has trouble navigating the gap between the super-dark parts of the picture and the super-bright parts.

And it turned out that I’d never bothered to keep any of the photos I took in direct sunlight (because they sucked), so for the purposes of this tutorial, I had to take a couple of my WIPs outside and go make some.

Direct sunlight:

The glare and the obvious shadows make these photos look strikingly amateurish. It draws attention to the background, highlights the fact that the bracers are just sitting in some lame dead grass. These photos look like someone finished making the bracer, carried it ten feet out into their backyard, and snapped a picture.

Which, yeah, is what we’re doing, but it doesn’t have to look it.

By contrast, indirect sunlight, when I move it four feet over into the shade of the house:

Right away, the diffused light (sort of soft-focus?) is more in line with what you see in professional photos. They still need editing before they’d be ready to roll out -- fiddling with contrast/saturation/white balance; clone-brushing out some of the distracting elements in the background; darker shading around the frame to center attention on the product -- but they have the potential to be decent photos now, instead of being critically flawed from the get-go.

When you’re using sunlight as your source, you’re usually going to be setting up either outside in the shade, or inside next to a window.

The context for some of these shots can also be hilariously un-sexy when you zoom out:

Sunlight tends to be much better at retaining the textural details of your work too, because more light means your camera can take a much quicker shot (low light = camera compensates by leaving the lens open longer to collect more light = blur).

If you want to really capture the fine texture of an item, natural light coming from one side (like through a window) is perfect, because of the shadows it casts:

On that note: if you’re trying to use a window as your light source, you may have trouble with the far side of the object being completely lost in darkness:

Which can be artistic, but doesn’t make for a great stock photo.

The solution is not to use another light source, but to use a reflector -- my go-to is white foam-core posterboard:

Which can fill in the shadows that are obscuring parts of your work:

Mirrors or foil can work for this too, but they tend to cast stark/uneven light, whereas the white board diffuses it, and diffusion is pretty much always what you want.

On the subject of diffusion: overcast days are your BEST FRIEND. They basically turn the whole sky into a lightbox for you. You get soft, beautiful light from all directions, muted enough to reduce glare, but there’s still more than enough light to keep your camera happy and your details sharp.

(Man I wish there were more clouds where I lived.)

Here’s an interesting little contrast -- this one was taken on a sunny day, but in the shadow of my house, using a white reflector to move light around:

And then the very next day we had rain, and I was like, hell yeah, and took it outside for more pics:

Obviously both have had the contrast increased to bring out the details, but the mood difference between the two is 100% the weather.

And that is FAR from everything there is to say on the subject of photography lighting, but for the purposes of amateur product photography, those are the important bits.

TL;DR:

- Natural light

- Diffused light

Step 4: post-production

This is also not something I’m an expert in, I’ve learned just enough to get by and called it good enough. (It’s why I lean on overcast days whenever I can, because it eliminates a lot of the lighting problems that I don’t know how to fix in post.)

But here are some of the things that you will find yourself needing to know, and should be looking up how-to’s on for your graphics editor of choice:

White balance/saturation

Light comes in different colors, but the human eye automatically compensates for it, so often times something looks good to your eyes, but then comes out way funky on film.

Indoor lighting tends to be yellow-hued, because that’s what feels warm and comfortable to humans, but it looks nasty in photographs:

Natural light tends to be white (which is why it gives you more accurate colors), getting more blueish as it heads toward evening:

You can compensate for both by adjusting the white balance, in which the program figures out what white is supposed to look like, and then calibrates all the other colors in the picture accordingly.

Brightness/contrast

Is it bright enough to see the details? Is the contrast high enough to make the details POP, instead of blending together into a muddle?

You can apply brightness/contrast adjustments to the full image, and then (if necessary) go in by hand with the burn/dodge tool (brightness up/brightness down) and add extra highlights.

(Don’t go overboard on this though -- this isn't art, this is a product photo, and if you take it too far from the real object, you are lying in your advertising.)

Blur/sharpen

Are the focal points sharp? Sharp areas of an image are what draws the eye, so if your photos are blurry, they’re no good and there’s no fixing them -- grab your camera and go take some more.

Is your background less sharp than the foreground? A too-sharp background will distract from the central point, so sometimes you can put a very subtle blur on it to trick the eye into ignoring it. (Dropping the brightness and the contrast are also both ways to make the background less eye-catching.)

Clone brush

Basically a mini copy-paste tool, you grab parts of the image and copy it onto other parts. This is good for tidying up your background -- coloring in corners that your backdrop didn’t cover, or removing distracting irregularities.

Again, this is one to be used sparingly, because this is product photography, it needs to be accurate, not idealized. You don’t get to scrub off the imperfections and make it look like you’re better at [whatever] than you are.

The only time I consider it acceptable to use the clone brush tool on the actual product is for editing out flaws in the leather itself. It’s a stock photo; customers are not going to be getting the exact item shown in the photo. I’ll be making a new one for them, one that’s not going to have those exact flaws. (It’ll have excitingly new and different flaws! Such is the nature of organic materials.)

Edge gradients

A subtle shadow around the edge of your picture brings the whole thing together, makes the background recede a bit, and directs the eye toward the centerpiece. Too heavy a hand with this will still look nice, but more staged; it alerts the viewer that you’ve been photoshopping and kills the “I woke up like this~” illusion.

Relatively natural:

Dramatic!

Watermarking

You want people to be able to find their way back to you when your work inevitably gets cross-posted without the source (fuck you in the face, pinterest), so it’s not enough to put your initials or abstract logo or illegible signature on it, you need your google-able name or company name.

At the same time, people have been known to crop out (or clone-brush out) watermarks that are big and tacky, so it’s in your best interests to make your watermark tasteful and inoffensive. (Also: ugly watermarks just bring down your whole image, seriously.)

Some of the pictures above are old enough that they’re sporting my older & less professional-looking watermarks, but what I use at the moment is this:

(But, y’know, smaller.)

Best way to do watermarks is usually to create another layer over your image and blend the two. For dark logo/light background, the settings for the new layer are 1) blend mode: multiply, 2) opacity: 85% (adjust as needed). For light logo/dark background, the blend mode is probably going to be “soft light.” And then just paste your logo in the corner of the new layer -- the blend mode means your logo doesn’t have to be transparent, the program just ignores the parts that are lighter/darker than the background.

And that, I believe, is the end. o_O I had no idea I had so many opinions on the subject of product photography.

Again -- I’m not a pro. I don’t know how to use 99% of my camera settings or 80% of my graphics program. (For fuck’s sake, my go-to graphics editor is the bootleg version of Paintshop Pro that I acquired in 1997.) This post represents the sum total of my knowledge on the subject.

But it just goes to show that you can do a lot with only a little, and that your composition and sense of aesthetics are far more important than what gear you’ve got.

#y'all should reblog this #because there are people who NEED TO SEE THIS #much obliged #gremble has opinions #tutorial #photography #diy #making this yo business #long-form tutorial

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jsdating813 · 3 years

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Eharmony Free Trial Code

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When people ask us about the best online dating sites, some want to know how to get an eharmony free trial membership. Does eharmony cost money? Yes, yes, it does—and depending on which site you’re comparing it to, it can cost quite a bit more than others. (Check out our eharmony review to see if we think it’s worth more than other online dating sites. Hint: It can be one of the better online dating options for Christian singles.)

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It makes sense that you might want to find out how to get aneharmony free trial membership and test-drive the full site before forking over your hard-earned money. Maybe J. Lo’s “love don’t cost a thing,” but yours sure does. Plus, there are dates to be paid for, so you just want to be sure you’re spending your money well. We hear you.

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Be sure to set aside a good 30 minutes or so to take the personality test and create an account and a profile. It can take a little while to work through it, but it’s thorough and one of the reasons we recommend the site for Christian singles.

Then set aside even more time to check out your matches. You can read their profiles, work on your match settings, and even close out matches that aren’t of interest to you. All of those things are free, but if you want to look at pictures of your matches or communicate with them, that’s gonna cost you.

Does eharmony have a free trial?

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How long is the free trial at eharmony?

Three days is the length of time they offer you to receive a full refund. After that point, the charge remains on your credit card, and you can cancel, but the money is theirs. So set a reminder on your phone or calendar because if you go over by a few hours, you’re not getting your money back.

Pro Tip: Create your full profile, upload pics, and fill out all questions before you pay money. Then, you can maximize your 3 days and use it to communicate with matches instead of having to do profile housekeeping.

There’s a reason we rank eharmony among the highest out of all of the online dating sites we’ve reviewed. Sure, it’s slightly more expensive, but based on our experience and research, it’s worth it. And if you don’t like the site? No big deal—unless you wait too long to cancel.

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In accordance with FTC guidelines, we declare that some of the links in this post are affiliate links. If you purchase an item through that link, SingleRoots will receive a commission. We only recommend products or services we believe will add value to our readers. Just keeping it real. Gotta pay the bills, yo.

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reviewedwell · 3 years

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Top Best Gaming Monitor Under $200

The Best gaming monitor has different features we will explore; what makes a gaming monitor best. You can have the most powerful gaming system on the globe, but its potential will be lost if you don't have a good monitor. Getting a decent monitor used to entail spending a lot of money, but these days it's simple to get displays with outstanding specs for a reasonable price. Despite the fact that there is no one “best gaming monitor under $200” due to the wide range of features available these days, we chose our top seven favorites and reviewed them all. We've also included a guide at the conclusion of this post to assist you to figure out how to spend your hard-earned money wisely.

Acer XFA240 |The best 144Hz monitor for less than $200

Specs: - 1920x1080 is the resolution. - Dimensions: 24" - 144Hz refresh rate - 91 PPI - Type of Panel: TN - 1 millisecond response time When it comes to gaming displays, the refresh rate is the most important feature that most people consider. It's only natural that the top gaming monitor on our list is an Acer with a high refresh rate.

Because the XFA240 features a 144Hz refresh rate, all of your games will run smoothly, as long as you have a GPU capable of delivering high frame rates in your favorite games. Even if you can't, this monitor supports Nvidia G-sync, which prevents screen tearing caused by uneven frame rates... providing you have an Nvidia GPU, of course. When people think of what they want in a gaming monitor, the refresh rate is frequently the first thing that comes to mind.

Acer ED242QR | For optimum immersion, use a curved monitor

Specs: - 1920x1080 is the resolution. - Dimensions of the screen: 23.6" - 144Hz refresh rate - 93 PPI - Type of Panel: VA - Response Time: 4 milliseconds Curved displays are not totally new, although the most recent wave of them appeared in about 2013. Curved displays' most obvious benefit is that they wrap around your peripheral vision, boosting immersion. You know how big of a difference this makes if you've ever viewed a movie or played a video game on a curved monitor.

However, the advantages go far beyond immersion. Curved displays have been demonstrated in studies to minimize the causes and symptoms of eye strain and discomfort. In general, less eye strain is associated with softer curvature (in this case, a curvature as mild as 4000R was utilized).

Acer GN246HL | Bright monitor with unbelievable contrast

Specs - 1920x1080 is the resolution. - Dimensions: 24" - 144Hz refresh rate - 91 PPI - Type of Panel: TN - 1 millisecond response time If your gaming or workplace location, like mine, has large windows that allow in a lot of light, you'll understand the pain of attempting to do anything with a glare-filled screen. The Acer GN246LH might be the answer for people who don't want sunlight to interfere with their gameplay. This display is, in fact, my primary monitor right now, and I can tell you unequivocally that turning the brightness all the way up makes the white backdrop of text documents blindingly bright. More impressive than the near-blinding brightness is the monitor's incredible 100 million to 1 contrast ratio, which means whites that are brighter than the sun.

Phillips 276E9QDSB | Vibrant IPS panel

Specs: - 1920x1080 is the resolution. - 27-inch screen - 75 Hz Refresh Rate - 82 PPI - IPS (In-Plane Switching) - Time to respond: 5 milliseconds One of the most essential aspects to consider when choosing a monitor for a picture or video editors by day and gamers by night is color accuracy and color gamut. When it comes to color, IPS panels reign supreme, and the Phillips 276E9QDSB is without a doubt the finest IPS monitor under $200 (Can businesses just stop using ridiculous naming conventions?).

This monitor has a 124 percent sRGB color gamut coverage and a 93 percent NTSC color space coverage, making it suitable for color-critical jobs such as graphic design and color grading. Furthermore, compared to the usual 24-inch size, its 27-inch dimension makes detecting fine details when conducting such a job much simpler.

BenQ GW2760HL | The most effective display for reducing eye strain

Specs - 1920x1080 is the resolution. - 27-inch screen - 60Hz refresh rate - 82 PPI - Type of Panel: VA - Response Time: 4 milliseconds The BenQ GW2760HL could be more your speed if you grimaced just thinking about the eye strain that the extremely brilliant Acer display we looked at might cause. This display comes with a pair of eye-saving features, making it the finest 27-inch monitor under $200 for anyone who has problems with their eyes.

The first of them is low blue light plus technology, which reduces eye strain by filtering out stronger spectrums of light. What's more impressive is that BenQ's approach of filtering out these harsher light spectrums does so without changing the hue of the on-screen image.

LG 25UM58-P | IPS display with ultra-wide viewing angles

Specs: - 2560x1080 is the resolution. - 25-inch screen - 60Hz refresh rate (75Hz in low-resolution mode) - 111 PPI - IPS (In-Plane Switching) - Time to respond: 5 milliseconds The pace of refresh is sluggish. In recent years, the 21:9 aspect ratio has gained a lot of popularity for both displays and phones (such as the Sony Xperia). The reason for this is because 21:9 is roughly equal to the aspect ratio used in theaters when widescreen movies are shown. This means that instead of being letterboxed when watching movies or other cinematic content, it will automatically occupy the entire screen, making it the finest PC monitor under $200 for movie fans.

In terms of gameplay, the advantages are comparable to those of a curved screen. The image fills significantly more of your peripheral vision, creating a more immersive gaming experience.

Dell SE2417HG | The cheapest gaming monitor

Specs: - 1920x1080 is the resolution. - Dimensions of the screen: 23.6" - 60Hz refresh rate - 93 PPI - Type of Panel: TN - Response time: 2 milliseconds Furthermore, the Dell SE2417HG is a great option for those on a tight budget. This monitor is considerably under our $200 price point, and it's the cheapest display on the market that we feel confident recommending to others.

While Dell's computers have a terrible record (at least among gamers), their screens are really rather good. This monitor has an incredible 2ms lag time, despite its inexpensive price. This means that your control inputs will seem responsive, and a mouse click will register as a shot fired on-screen very instantly. This monitor is also available in a variety of smaller and bigger sizes, although they are sometimes hard to come by in stock. Unfortunately, here is where the monitor's budget-friendly character becomes apparent. This monitor is far from the top on our list in terms of features, with a 60Hz refresh rate and a TN screen that delivers dull colors and low viewing angles.

How To Choose the Best Gaming Monitor Under $200?

Choosing a monitor these days isn't as straightforward as it once was. Not only do you have to consider resolution and size, but also refresh rate and even more enigmatic concepts like curvature and aspect ratio. Unfortunately, covering every detail of numerous monitor characteristic is beyond the scope of this article, so we've condensed it to just a handful of the most crucial points to remember.

Resolution & PPI

Most people are familiar with the term "resolution," which refers to the number of pixels on a monitor's length and height. When looking for the finest monitor under $200, you may have realized that 1080p displays are almost solely available. PPI comes into play here. PPI (pixels per inch) is a useful metric for comparing two displays with the same resolution. Despite the fact that the majority of the monitors on our list have the same resolution, the PPI differs due to monitor size differences. Smaller displays with the same number of pixels have a greater pixel density, or PPI, which makes them appear sharper up close.

Refresh Rate

The relevance of refresh rate is well understood by most gamers. The refresh rate of a monitor is measured in hertz, or Hz, and is the number of frames it can show each second. Higher refresh rates can provide more fluid movement with less induced blur than lower refresh rates. Higher refresh rate displays will show an adversary entering through a doorway, for example, a brief second before lower refresh rate monitors, giving them a competitive edge in games. In fast-paced sports, the smoother and more instantaneous mobility makes a significant impact. As I previously stated, my first experience playing Doom 2016 on a high refresh rate display was life-changing.

Type of Panel

Panel type is one of the most misunderstood features of displays. The exact technology utilized inside the display to produce colors and images is referred to as panel type. This implies that the type of panel used in a monitor has a significant influence on the color quality and vibrancy it can provide. - The TN panels are on the lower end of the spectrum. Again, delving into the finer points of monitors and the technology that powers them is beyond the scope of this post, but we will go over the most important distinctions between panel types. TN panels are the most cost-effective to manufacture, but they have poor color reproduction and viewing angles. TN panels, on the other hand, are known for their speed and are often found in monitors with very fast refresh rates and minimal latency. - Panels from the VA. The VA panels are the next step up the scale. When compared to TN panels, these panels offer better color accuracy and brightness, but they still have limited viewing angles. As a result, if you travel too much to one side or the other, the colors may get distorted. - IPS (in-plane switching) panels These are said to be the pinnacle of color and brightness. Full sRGB color gamut coverage is common in monitors with these sorts of panels, making them ideal for applications like picture editing and color grading where accurate, true-to-life colors are important.

Response Time

The time it takes for the pixels of a display to change from one shade of grey to another, or from white to black, is known as response time. If the reaction time is too long, Even at high frame rates, if the refresh rate of a display is too high, it will be unable to keep up with the monitor's refresh rate, resulting in a streaky and fuzzy mess. A 144Hz monitor has pixels that can transition from one state to another in less than 7 milliseconds, which implies that all of the monitors on our list have pixels that can move from one state to another before the next frame is ready. In the end, panel type will have a far greater impact on the overall quality of the image on your screen than response time. Most TN panels have a 1ms response time. VA panels have a response time of 3-5 milliseconds, whereas IPS panels have a response time of 5 milliseconds but can be as low as 4 milliseconds. There isn't much of a difference in either case. Read more Articles Read the full article

#BestGamingMonitorUnder$200 #TopBestGamingMonitor

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iambutteryum · 3 years

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Italian Easter Bread

This is one of the most delicious Italian Easter Bread recipes you’ll ever have, and it’s straight from the old country. The dough is an absolute dream to work with. The recipe makes 6 of these festive twisted breads (or two large loaves) and I can’t imagine letting an Easter go by without them. Happy Baking!

I took photos of this recipe a year ago and didn’t post it because my camera’s sd card was partially corrupted, meaning I lost many of the process photos. Fast forward to just recently, I was going through my cell phone’s camera roll and, to my surprise, there were several photos from this recipe. I never use my phone to take pics when I’m shooting a recipe for this blog so how cool is that? Anyway, here you go, a mix of high quality camera and low quality phone pics. Not ideal, but enough that you should be able to follow the process of making this amazing Italian Easter Bread. Here’s how….

You’ll need 6 hard-cooked eggs that have been colored. The photos I took of this process were some of those that were corrupted, but here’s the aftermath. The process is simple, soak hard-cooked eggs in cups filled with warm water, a splash of white vinegar, and food coloring. Soak the eggs until the color you desire is achieved, the remove from the water and allow to dry on paper towels. I used gel food colors (like these). There are so many more colors to choose from (and they’re vibrant enough to color white and brown shelled eggs).

Personally, I like to use a variety of colored eggs, but some like just red, and others use uncolored eggs (white and/or brown). Heck, some people don’t use any eggs at all, but what fun is that?

I’m also a fan of decorating my easter bread with confectioner’s sugar icing and colored sprinkles, but some prefer no icing, just a sprinkling of pearl sugar. You do you!

More corrupted photos for the bread dough, but it’s pretty straight forward. You can make the dough with stand mixer or a hand mixer. It’ll need to rise for about an hour, covered, before shaping.

Then the dough is divided into 12 equal portions, Each portion will then be rolled into a 10-inch snake. Twist 2 snakes together before forming into a circle, pinching the ends together. Place on a silpat or parchment-lined half sheet pan and put an egg in the center of each. Repeat with the remaining dough until 6 breads are formed.

Cover with plastic that’s been sprayed with nonstick cooking spray; allow to rise for 45 minutes.

Now’s a good time to preheat your oven.

After 45 minutes have passed, brush breads with egg wash and sprinkle with pearl sugar or nonpareils sprinkles. If you plan to add icing, use the egg wash, but hold off on adding pearl sugar or nonpareil sprinkles.

Bake as directed in the recipe below. Allow breads to rest for several minutes before transferring to a rack to cool completely (especially if you plan to ice them).

To make the optional icing, whisk the ingredients together until smooth (cover bowl with damp towel until ready to use).

Pour icing over breads when they’re completely cool. Add coordinating nonpareil sprinkles, if desired.

Happy Easter - Enjoy!

Items used to make this recipe:

pearl sugar https://amzn.to/3w5KOWp

gel food colors https://amzn.to/3w58hqy

the best pure vanilla extract https://amzn.to/3cpWQlE

kitchen scale https://amzn.to/2QLU5Tm

nonpareil sprinkles https://amzn.to/3db824I

Italian Easter Bread

makes 6 individual breads or 2 large loaves

Printable Recipe

Ingredients

Easter Breads:

1 1/3 cup whole milk

8 tablespoons unsalted butter

2 large eggs

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon fine salt

2 1/4 teaspoons instant or active dry yeast (1 packet)

4 cups all purpose flour (480g)

6 hard-cooked eggs, colored

sprinkles and/or pearl sugar for decoration

Egg Wash:

1 large egg

1 tablespoon water

Optional Icing:

1 cup confectioner’s sugar, sifted

1-2 tablespoons heavy cream or whole milk

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract (or half as much pure almond extract)

Directions

Gently warm milk and butter together over medium heat until the milk is warm (not hot) and the butter is melted.

In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the flour and salt.

In a large mixing bowl, combine eggs, sugar, and vanilla with a hand mixer on medium- low speed for 30 seconds.

Slowly add the warm milk/butter mixture, followed by the yeast.

Add the flour/salt mixture, a little at a time, until all the flour is incorporated.

Turn the soft, sticky dough onto a floured work surface and knead by hand for several minutes until smooth.

Place the dough into an oiled bowl, cover with plastic, and allow to rise at room temperature until it doubles in size (about 1 hour).

Divide dough into 12 equal portions and roll each portion into a 10-inch snake.

Twist 2 snakes together before forming into a circle, pinching the ends together; place on a silpat or parchment-lined half sheet pan and put an egg in the center of each. Repeat 5 more times.

Cover breads with oiled plastic wrap and allow to rise for 45 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350F.

Just before baking, make egg wash by whisking egg and water together; brush breads with egg wash and sprinkle with sugar or nonpareil sprinkles (omit sugar and sprinkles on the breads you plan to ice)..

Bake in preheated oven for about 20 minutes or until golden brown on top.

Remove from oven and allow to cool completely.

For breads decorated with icing, whisk icing ingredients together until smooth, then pour oven completely cooled breads and sprinkle with nonpareil sprinkles. Allow icing to set before serving.

Notes

Recipe makes 6 individual breads or two large braided loaves.

Personally, I like to decorate my bread with a variety of colored eggs that I can accent with confectioner’s sugar icing and coordinating sprinkles. Some people use only red eggs, some use uncolored eggs (white and/or brown)., and others don’t use any eggs at all.

To color my eggs, I prefer gel food colors because they’re very vibrant and there are so many colors to choose from.

Be sure to use hard-cooked eggs as uncooked eggs may crack in the oven.

Yes, you can eat the eggs after the bread is baked, but they’ll be very tough. We usually don’t eat them.

Bread dough can be made with a hand mixer or in a stand mixer fitted with a whip attachment until all the flour is incorporated, then switch to the dough kneading hook.

Large loaves can be braided instead of twisted - divide the dough for each loaf into 3 equal pieces, roll into 20-inch long strands, and braid them together. Form into a circle, pinch the ends together, and nestle 3 eggs per loaf into the braid before the 2nd rise.

recipe adapted from Nonna Gina Pettiti

#bread recipes #yeast recipes #italian recipes #holiday recipes #easter recipes

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rayadraws · 7 years

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Hero FB adventures

This is the result of me, @jenny-opm, @shorthairsonic, @dibujos-de-la-orilla and @criscura talking about the concept of our boys (and their friends) using Facebook and what that might lead to... It led to a really fun discussion, so I’ve collected it as points here for anyone curious. It’s about 2.6k long so I’ll put it behind a Read More. Enjoy XD

Dr. Kuseno, being a technical genius, takes to Facebook like a duck to water, having no trouble navigating the site. However, he still acts like a stereotypical grandpa on there - when Genos posts a status along the lines of “Rainy day, perfect for a movie” Kuseno comments with “Indeed my boy, try not to catch a cold and send Saitama my regards. Kuseno.” He occasionally also teases Genos, such as sending him a photo of an electric whisk with the caption “your next upgrade is ready.” (In a misplaced attempt at being kind he tags Saitama in all ads for hair growth treatment he comes across… but at least he also tags him when he finds an unusually good sale)

It is actually thanks for a birthday post from Kuseno that Saitama learns when Genos’ birthday is the first time! He catches the borg sitting and smiling while looking a his phone, which is unusual - usually if he’s on the phone it's something from the HA, which normally has him frowning.

Neither Saitama nor Genos have a lot of friends on FB (to start with, at least). It’s mostly their closest friends such as King and Mumen. Genos also has Metal Bat added, who gives him (good natured) crap on near everything he posts.

Bang is the hopelessly confused Facebook grandpa, struggling to understand how it works. Poor Charanko does his best to help him… “How do I search here?” “You have to go to the search bar… No, that’s where you write your status” “My what?”

Once he does get the hang of it, Bang comments every time someone posts about themselves doing any sort of sporty activity with “Looking good! Ever think about coming by the dojo?” (It gets to the point that FB warns him for posting the same thing over and over and everyone is starting to suspect that his account has been hacked by a virus that just keeps promoting his dojo - poor Charanko is accused of setting it up)

Metal Bat SPAMS FB with videos of Zenko’s piano shows. Everyone knows about her recitals a week in advance because he keeps hyping it up. He also has a soft spot for posting glamour selfies.

Saitama posts a lot of blurry cat photos with no caption and sometimes food pictures. He posts at all kinds of random hours of the day, almost never answers anyone, his photos are low quality and he posts a lot of odd YouTube links.

Genos likes every photo of Saitama and uploads his own - somehow, Saitama always looks far less derpy in Genos’ photos (he’s studied all his best angles).

Genos has no shame and starts liking all photos of Saitama, going through every tag ever - meaning once in a while someone who went to high school with Saitama suddenly gets a like from Demon Cyborg on a photo taken 12 years ago. Unsurprisingly, people are SHOCKED at this and it takes them a while to figure out why - until they notice how he keeps tagging Saitama on his page. This is the only kind of interaction they get online with Demon Cyborg and people start tagging Saitama in photos in the hope of getting response from him. They slyly get photos of him in public and post and tag him in the hope of a response. As long as he’s awake (he’s a heavy sleeper) Genos likes them instantly, unknowingly rewarding his fans for their behaviour.

Genos never accepts friend requests from any non-heroes but Saitama sometimes does because “maybe that name’s familiar idk whatever” and some of Genos’ fangirls manage to befriend him on Facebook, consequently seeing his photos… causing them to just about spontaneously combust - “Did you SEE that photo of Demon Cyborg in an apron?!”

Genos notices this and tells Saitama that he is NOT to post his 124 bedhead pics of Genos to Facebook. Saitama forgets(?) and posts 53 of them anyway before he remembers he wasn’t supposed to. He tries to cheer Genos up - “But look at how many likes and shares they’re getting! This doesn’t even happen with the cat pictures!” Genos is not impressed to see his groggy-ass self on a million message boards (and tells Saitama that “...to be fair, Sensei, sometimes it’s hard to tell if they’re cat pictures.”)

Saitama is enjoying this game (not quite realizing the scope of this all) - sneaks a pair of cat ears on Genos, takes a photo and uploads, enjoying the storm afterwards.

Facebook suggests that Saitama upload a photo album that is just the same photo of Genos doing the dishes at slightly different angles and he’s like “why not” and posts that as well. This is followed up by a little video of him singing quietly and dancing a little while washing the dishes.

One day they come across a group of Demon Cyborg fans on the street who come up to them and ask if Genos could sign their photo books - they’ve printed a bunch of pictures from their FBs, full of like bedhead and apron pics (“Mr. Demon Cyborg sir I LOVED that video of you dancing with the mop!”). Genos can’t even process what’s happening and signs them with a stunned expression, while Sai takes one of the books, looking through it and pointing out his favourites. “Hey, I remember this one! Aw, dude, where’s this shirt? You look nice in it, I haven’t seen it in a while.” (“Mr Demon Cyborg I didn’t know you had feet slippers!” - a small part of Genos dies)

Saitama starts getting bombarded with requests on Facebook. “Get him sleeping!” “Get him laughing!” “Can you get him to pose in that white shirt, maybe with the ripped jeans?”

Saitama starts uploading little videos, such as himself telling Genos a bunch of puns as they go through a store. Eventually he figures out how to cut videos into clips and bombards Genos for two days to get “material”. It does get a bit overwhelming in the end however, so he tells the fans that he can’t take more pictures because his phone ran out of memory. To his despair, this leads to fans sending them shipments of memory cards, cameras and gift cards for even more stuff and it’s all very unnecessary. He even receives a brand new phone from “a fan”.

(The good side is, with all this training he is getting progressively better at taking pictures)

One day, the daily picture he uploads is very sad - just an empty chair with the caption “He’s at repairs” :(

Another day however, Saitama goes to upload a photo of Genos in his apron, but it’s… the wrong apron picture. He accidentally uploads a naughty pic, oops. It’s not the most obviously naughty one, not enough to get them banned from FB (and Genos has no nipples, anyway…) but it’s pretty obviously not meant for the public.

Genos is at first (rightfully) mad at Saitama… until they get like a million really nice apron lingerie sets in the mail. To get back at the other, he uploads a photo of a bare-chested Saitama - not at all prepared for the onslaught of “HOLY SHIT” responses, growing possessive instead of mad when the fans start screaming for more.

Saitama tries to take a good shot of himself but eventually Genos, even through being annoyed, takes the camera from him and gets a good picture. Fans ask for even more and a bewildered Saitama replies with “Um, sure?” uploading a half-naked bathroom selfie, where he’s still wet with a towel wrapped around himself. People go wild. (Genos can’t decide if he wants to delete the picture or share it so it’s on his wall as well. He is… conflicted.) (A less successful picture shows Saitama absolutely ripped, but unfortunately with a prominent double chin, like that time he played video games at the HA - selfies are hard…) (“Mr Saitama, can I request the ripped jeans again, but this time with you wearing them..?”

Unfortunately their shenanigans do not go unnoticed at they get called in to HA’s Public Relations for the umpteenth time. Their attempts at getting the heroes to take it down a few notches is made more difficult by them referring to Amai’s latest “I’m about to have sex” album cover as proof they aren’t out of line.

Amai Mask, in his defence, maintains that his pictures are “classy” and “done professionally”. Saitama responds with gesturing to a photo of Naked Apron Genos frying eggs - “This is classy!”. They continue with pointing out that more than likely, if they stopped, people would complain to the HA and they’d have to explain it was the HA who stopped them in the first place... (And really, the HA shouldn’t complain, Saitama and Genos are earning them so many donations….) "THEY CURED MY CANCER AND WATERED MY CROPS AND BLESSED MY CAT HERE'S MONEY" - “They did what now?!” - the HA representatives don’t even understand what this means but eventually lets it all slide. (The only one who understands the references is their intern managing the official HA twitter, but no one cares about their opinion…)

With all this material, Genos’ fan club is getting a lot more activity than Amai Mask’s, which doesn’t go unnoticed. Amai tries to upload “accidental photos” too in an attempt to become the centre of attention, but they are all obviously fake, such as “I woke up like this” pictures of him with perfect hair and makeup, nothing like Demon Cyborg’s messy hair and squinting eyes.

Amai tries again - “Oh no guys you won't believe this but, i was doing my make up right and omg my cat walked on top of my phone and took this photo of me lol” - someone digs up an old interview where Amai states that he’s allergic to cats (that someone is Genos). He also uploads a photo of a cup from Starbucks which has “To the prettiest guy I’ll see today” written on it and claims he got it (until someone points out that’s a photo from Google).

Meanwhile on Saitama’s FB page, a new video of an unaware Genos twitching in his sleep has just been uploaded, caption “look he’s dreaming shhh”

Saitama just happens to be awake late that evening and passes the time surfing FB, commenting “y’all never go to bed huh” when he sees the immediate responses - given how big Genos’ fanclub is, there’s always someone who’s awake. In fact, this video is more than likely to wake a number of fans up to scream over it. Saitama makes a little livestream showing off their cups as he brews himself some tea (“this is my cup. That one’s Genos’. We found it in a thrift store after he accidentally dropped the last one.” He finishes with showing Genos sleeping again and saying “see he’s sleeping now you all go to bed too”.

One day he posts a still picture of the sleeping borg, with the caption being just “I love him”.

It takes a while, but once the fans understand that their love is real and not changing, some of them start to (not always so) subtly suggest he should propose, such as tagging Saitama whenever a jewellery store has a good offer (they’ve picked up on his love for sales).

One day everything is quiet, then Saitama posts simply “He said yes” (or perhaps it’s just a picture of their hands wearing the rings) and FB EXPLODES. People ask for photos and Saitama replies with “All I got is him ugly crying oil everywhere” and the fans go “POST IT.”

After they’ve gotten engaged things get a bit more quiet, with Saitama just posting the occasional update like “he’s going to marry me” and “he’s going to be my husband”. “I want the date to be on his birthday but that’s too long of a wait” ,“he loves me”.

Fast-forward a bit. It’s been quiet for a while. Genos has barely posted anything but one day Saitama’s FB friends see that he’s been tagged in a picture that turns out to be a photo where Saitama appears to be passed out on the futon, drooling in his sleep and surrounded by empty pizza cartons. Caption “my husband to be”. (The picture completely blows up on FB)

Fans start speculating on their outfits, causing Saitama to sweat - he hadn’t planned that far ahead. He asks for suggestions and they end up covering the entire colour spectrum. He even enquires a little bit to hear if there’s anyone who’s a real actual wedding planner among their fans, it might work out…

In the end, they decide on a small private wedding, but Saitama does suggest he might be able to livestream it. He gives no date or anything to go by, however. In an attempt to keep it hidden, they end up hosting it at the dojo, hoping the stairs might also deter some potential invaders. (Bang is more than happy to host - maybe he can convince some people to join the dojo. The stairs aren’t a problem for the heroes, mostly - King does text Saitama with “I’m here can you pick me up” once he arrives at the bottom whereas Mumen handles them himself - but makes sure to arrive very early so he’ll have time for a shower before the ceremony. Saitama suddenly starts the livestream out of the blue on FB, writing “k its happenin!” and a bunch of fans tune in. (Hopefully Bang won’t hear about the livestream or he’ll start advertising on it, too…)

They get married!!

(Back to where we started - how does Kuseno react to all this FB shenanigans? Well, more than likely he doesn’t spend too much time on FB, but he does check periodically, probably catching at least a couple of the pictures of Genos sleeping and in his apron and whatnot. As always, he replies good naturedly - “glad you’re getting your rest son”.

Kuseno also has a habit of going full-on Geek and writing very long explanations regarding Genos’ body sometimes - such as explaining why he twitches in his sleep, or an explanation on how his cooling systems work in response to someone writing “WAAAHHH WHY IS HE SO COOOL” on one picture. Unfortunately, Kuseno doesn’t realize that his FB is set to friends only, so only Saitama and Genos see these comments…)

Bonus: Saitama occasionally tags Genos in pictures he takes of cheap bootleg Demon Cyborg merch he comes across, disappointing fans hoping to see a new photo of him, only to be met by his asymmetrical poorly painted face on an action figure. “It’s not even official merch…”

Saitama has a habit of buying the especially poorly made ones because “they’re funny”.

One fan asks one day if Demon Cyborg owns any merch and Sai uploads a photo of all the stuff he keeps in the apartment with the caption “And even more stuff at his docs”.

The fans are stunned - but some are also like “ok but where do I get these things?!”

"says he special ordered them or w/e" "oh this other one was from HA" "oh... he says it's out of stock" "he has the stock" ”Maybe if you ask him real nice. Doubt he’ll let go tho he only has like 278 of them” ”...he informs me he has 289”

The fans try to barter with Genos, such as offering to draw a NEW Caped Baldy posted in return for one of those charms. At this point Saitama is starting to wonder why he has to be the bridge between fans wanting Caped Baldy merch and Genos. Genos doesn’t seem to want to talk directly to his fans, but eventually agrees to use Saitama’s account, basically pretending to be him - the fans do eventually get their merch, but are confused as to why Saitama suddenly seems to turn a lot more serious and formal whenever it comes to merch talk (and is that 10 page terms of service really necessary?!) but at least in the end they get a super rare piece of merch not available anywhere else (because Genos bought them all).

#gosh #well there you have it #this was such a fun discussion I enjoyed it a lot XD <3333 #thanks guys you're the best #to anyone who read the whole thing (woah good job) I hope you liked it too!#all for fun ofc #genos #saitama #genosai #saigenos

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jenna--sais--quoi · 7 years

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WEIRDEST SIMS 2 GLITCH: I FOUND BELLA GOTH AND SHE’S NOT IN STRANGETOWN

ALRIGHT Y’ALL. I’M ABOUT TO TAKE YOU ON A CRAZY ADVENTURE. AND YOU’LL WANT TO READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

Also, disclaimer: Sorry some of these pictures are super low quality. I was in a state of extreme panic/excitement so this was the best I could do.

So, I’m playing the Sims 2 Ultimate Collection...you know, the version EA gave away for free on Origin awhile back.

For the past few days, I’ve been playing with the Goth family. Thus far, lots of shit has went down. Dina Caliente married into the family (for the money, of course), Mortimer died, Dina and Mortimer’s twin children died (at the hands of witch-Cassandra setting the house on fire with a spell), Dina then married the family Butler....normal sim stuff!

About an hour ago while I’m playing with the family, the social worker comes to take away the child of Dina and her now-Butler husband. For some reason while taking the kid away, the social worker decides to lecture Cassandra instead of Dina.

I’m zoomed in on the social worker and Cassandra talking in the front hallway of the house, and out of the corner of my eye, I see this sim wearing RED walking out my front door. Which was weird, because the only guest sim inside the house at the time besides the social worker was Don Lothario.

So I zoom out, curious to see who this random-ass stranger is walking out my front door and why the game allowed someone to come in without someone in the household greeting them.

So I zoom out, and IT’S MOTHER FUCKING BELLA GOTH. IN THE HALLWAY. WALKING OUT THE FRONT DOOR.

HOW COULD THIS BE? SHE SHOULDN’T BE HERE? IT TAKES CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF EFFORT AND SKILL TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE YOUR GAME CODE TO GET HER BACK INTO THE HOUSEHOLD? THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE?

Let me tell you - I was SHOOK. I’ve literally wanted to see Bella in the Sims 2 since the game came out in 2004. All my simming career has led to this moment!!!

Before I had the chance to take a screenshot of Bella in her classic red dress, she walks out the front door and changes into her outerwear.

(Note: For some reason, the game only saved two of my screenshots (?) so some of these are bad quality pics on my phone)

So, in a state of panic, I try to get Cassandra to talk to her, but it says Bella is leaving the lot! Quickly, I enable testing cheats to make her selectable. Even though I now can control her, she is still trying to leave the lot, no matter what I try to make her do.

Knowing this, I go through her family tree, memories, and relationships to try to see if this really is the real Bella Goth before she leaves forever.

Also, I am aware that there is a FAKE Bella Goth in the Sims 2 that appears as a townie. THIS IS NOT THE FAKE. Here is a comparison image I found online to show that the Bella I saw has the appearance of the REAL BELLA. The eyes give it away.

So anyway, here is the family tree I found.

This Bella is related to all the right people! She must be real! (She’s not married to Mortimer in the family tree because he is dead).

Here are some more snaps I got.

(Sorry, that’s supposed to say Bella Goth but it turned out blurry)

Then, IT HIT ME! I had an idea of how to get Bella to stop leaving the lot. Still using the testingcheats, I forced an error on her, making the game reset her, and VOILA, she reset and I now had the ability to do whatever with her! She was not longer trying to leave the lot!

I had her go back into the house so I could take some pictures with her in her red dress.

Now that I showed you all the picture proof, time to discuss some weird stuff...

1) When I added Bella back into the household via testingcheats, she had no relationships in the relationships panel, although she recognized her kids as her own during interactions. When I had her interact with Cassandra and Alexander for the “first time”, the relationships still never popped up in the panel. Weird.

2) Bella’s memories were very odd. It seems that all of her memories were wiped, BUT, she has memories of the household after the time of her disappearance, but BEFORE she showed up again. For instance, her first memory was Cassandra getting married, which happened about two game days before she appeared on the lot. Does this mean she was somehow present during that time? It seems that the game picked a completely arbitrary point in time for Bella to start gaining memories, as many significant things had happened in the household before Cassandra’s marriage, such as many births, deaths, fires, etc. So WHY did she start gaining memories TWO game days before her reappearance?

3) And lastly, I just really wanna know HOW THE FUCK DID BELLA JUST APPEAR IN MY FRONT HALLWAY. I know from experience that the Sims 2 Ultimate Collection free Origin version is kind of glitchy on my computer (graphics and stuff are great and the game runs quickly, but WEIRD stuff happens quite frequently), so maybe the game just had an extreme moment of glitching out and randomly spawned her in the house and then was trying to make her leave? Bella DOES exist in the game code, so I guess a glitch like that wouldn’t be impossible. I’m just pissed because I was zoomed in on Cassandra and the Social Worker and I feel like I missed her grand entrance or something.

But anyway, I hope you enjoyed my story. I’m going to continue playing with Bella since I was oh-so-lucky to RANDOMLY get her back! I am savoring my moments, however, since I’m sure the game will decide to take her back as quickly as they gave her to me! I might make a follow up post of pics of her reuniting with her kids.

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androidskit-blog · 5 years

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Sony Xperia 1 with camera review

Sony Xperia 1 with camera review, People buy flagship phones as much for the cameras as for any other feature. Nearly every premium device from the likes of Huawei, LG, and Samsung has stepped up the game to include not one or two, but three cameras. The standard configuration for a modern flagship is now a high-quality primary lens, an optical telephoto lens, and a wide-angle lens. This applies to the Sony Xperia 1, which the electronics company is just now getting to market. If you’re interested in learning everything there is to know about the Sony Xperia 1, check out our full review here. The purpose of this article is to dive deep into the camera situation and assess whether or not Sony can keep up.

Camera app

Sony’s camera app is powerful but perplexing. It contains the vast majority of advanced features flagship phone buyers expect, yet there are some glaring omissions. Let’s start with the dedicated camera button. Yes, the Xperia 1 has a physical shutter key, located where you expect to find it on the top right corner (when holding the phone sideways.) The button is a subtle two-stage key. Press it very lightly and the camera will focus on the subject. Press it all the way to fire off a shot. The difference between pressing the button gently and all the way is minimal. You can easily just smash the key down all the way when you intend to focus first. Alternately, you can do what we’re all using to do at this point: touch the screen where you want the camera to focus and then tap the software shutter button. Sony’s AI Cam is enabled by default. You can only ditch it by shifting to manual mode. What I find most frustrating is the lack of control over HDR. HDR functions automatically in AI Cam mode, which is to say you never know whether it is being used or not. The only way to take direct control over HDR is in manual mode. From my perspective, HDR should always be an easy-to-find feature. A basic on-screen toggle lets you switch between photo and video modes, while a series of controls line the opposite edge for functions such as aspect ratio, bokeh, flash, timer, and settings. Some of these could be easier to grasp. The bokeh tool, for example, is represented by one circle placed behind another. What the what? How does that equate “bokeh”?

On the whole, the camera app could be simplified quite a lot.

Jumping from one lens to another should be easier. The camera always launches with the standard/primary camera lens active. A small circle with a “1x” appears on the far right side. Tap it once to switch to the telephoto lens. The small circle then displays a “2x” inside. Tap once more to get to the wide-angle “w” lens. If you press the “1x” for a second, a slider bar appears for zooming between 1x and 2x, and on through to 10x (digitally). No matter what, you have to press the “w” to get to the wide-angle camera, and it pauses for a second before switching. It’s a confusing and inconsistent system. LG’s camera app is much simpler to decipher in this respect. A small button under the shutter button lets you access the advanced modes. These include portrait selfie, Google Lens, slow motion, AR effect, manual, creative effect, and panorama. Pick one, and then a little symbol pops up in the corner to tell you which you’re using. There’s no time-lapse mode, nor is there a dedicated portrait mode or even a night mode, which is both frustrating and puzzling. On the whole, the camera could be simplified and improved quite a lot.

Daylight

Any and every camera should excel at daylight shooting when the most light is available. It’s therefore amazing how poorly some perform. The Xperia 1 is all over the place in daylight situations. All four of these samples have bright and dark regions that aren’t particularly well balanced. What we notice most is the loss of detail in the darker spots, such as the trees in the first image, the sides of the buildings in the second and third images, and the pillars in the fourth. I’m glad the sky isn’t blown out in any of the images. These are passable shots, but not fantastic ones. Focus is mostly sharp, and colors are mostly accurate if a bit muted. For example, the yellow and red shades in the second image were brighter in real life. There isn’t too much noise, nor are compression artifacts obviously visible. These are passable shots, but not fantastic ones.

Color

Obtaining good color relies on a mix of things, including proper exposure and white balance. If one or the other is off, colors suffer. Some phone makers, such as Samsung, make up for this by boosting colors in the end results. Sony does not. Here we see the Xperia 1 at its best. The top two images turned out spectacularly well with rich, bright, accurate colors. There is no banding, and the transitions between shades are smooth. These images look exactly like what I remember seeing on the streets of New York City. Color me impressed (pun intended). You can see all the color, it’s just not as impressive as the real thing. The bottom two images are the Sony Xperia 1 camera at its most average. Both appear muted in terms of color tones and exposure. The fourth image is particularly frustrating because the tile mural was well lit and I was standing only a few feet away. You can see all the color, it’s just not as impressive as the real thing. It’s the inconsistency here that I don’t care for.

Detail

Preserving details relies on focus, resolution, and maintaining control over compression and noise. Once again we’re faced with inconsistency from the Sony Xperia 1 camera. In the top two images, the detail is clear enough that you can read the text in the images, there’s no doubt of that. Too bad neither is properly exposed. The images with the brushes in the foreground is terrible. Much of the detail in the leaves is lost on close inspection, with the green foliage blending together. It was much easier to tell the individual plants apart in person. The third image also has lots of noise in the sky. In the last picture, all the parts of the electric meters stand out and you can even tell where the gauges are pointed on the closer units. Here everything comes together, the exposure is on point, and there’s no noise at all.

Landscape

When shooting land- or cityscapes, focus and balance are generally what you seek. Three of these images provide those, one does not. What I like about image 1 is that the green looks rich, the sky is still blue, you can read the text on the sign, and even the darker areas have some detail. Image 2 shows sharp lines, accurate colors, and relatively good detail. Both these images are a bit on the noisy side, with compression artifacts here and there. Image 3 is a disaster. The phone’s HDR tool completely failed here. The sky is overblown and yet nearly all the detail on the statue is lost because it is underexposed. At least the foliage is green. The last image turned out fairly well. Despite the strong shadow, there’s lots of texture visible on the right wall compared to the fully sunlit left wall. You can see all the bricks and the sky is blue. There is still far too much noise.

Portrait

Fancy, effects-laden portrait shooting is all the rage these days. Many of today’s flagships include modes specifically for taking artful shots of our friends and family. In order to take portrait images such as these, you need to use the Xperia 1’s bokeh shooting tool. It’s not called “Portrait Mode” and there aren’t advanced tools such as studio lighting — another shortcoming of the camera app when compared to Samsung, Huawei, and others. The phone did do a decent job of outlining my profile cleanly and blurring out the background. I like that you can select the amount of background blur. In images 1 and 3, however, I look like I was artificially added to the pictures via PhotoShop. The second and fourth images look more natural. Exposure in all these shots is good, and I don’t see too much noise. I’m flummoxed that there’s no actual portrait mode, which might make capturing these a touch easier.

HDR

HDR shots generally blend several exposures to create a balanced whole, with detail visible in both bright and dark regions. The Xperia 1 struggles with HDR across the board. Images 1 and 4 are total failures of HDR. In the first, all the detail in the trees behind the fountain is lost due to underexposure. In the fourth, the top half of the image should have been bright with daylight and is instead dark and dreary. What is going on here, Sony?

It's evident that Sony's HDR algorithms need more tuning.

The second and third images are more balanced. They are each noisy, but at least the light and dark regions are better preserved. The second shot is particularly challenging because it has natural and artificial light mixed in a dark indoor environment. Some detail is lost on the second level, but this exposure is still fairly accurate. In the third pic, I appreciate that the blue sky is visible in the windows at all and that there’s some shading to the wooden roof far above the staircase. In all, however, it’s evident that Sony’s HDR algorithms need more tuning.

Low light

One of the biggest omissions of the Sony Xperia 1 camera is any sort of night mode. Sure, the AI Cam senses low light situations and takes steps to mitigate the exposure, but there isn’t a dedicated mode for shooting in the near dark. That’s a serious boo-boo considering phones such as the Huawei P30 Pro can practically see in pitch black night. All four of these images were taken post-sunset. The first, just after sunset, has a reasonable amount of detail in the trees, but the sky is overblown. The colors are about right. The second image actually turned out pretty well, and was true to the scene. Shame about the noise. The third image may be accurate, but is soft. The last image is clearly a stinker. For this, the camera took several seconds to capture the shot and we can still barely see what’s going on. The subject stands out, but the darker portions of the background are completely gone. Without an explicit low-light or night mode, the Xperia 1 trails the competition. The Google Pixel 3a XL, which costs half as much, delivers far superior results.

Selfie

All the Xperia 1’s portrait powers are found under the purview of the selfie camera. You can add effects, dial-in skin correction, make your eyes larger or your face thinner, and adjust the lighting. I captured these samples under a variety of conditions, including bright sunlight, indoors, and at nighttime. The results speak for themselves. The first two images, which were aided by sunlight, turned out well. The focus is good, colors are accurate, and things look pretty much as they did when the photos were taken. Things are a bit different in the third and fourth images. You can see that my face is a bit softer in the third image and the brick wall behind me looks a bit washed out. The last picture is a mess. Though it wasn’t that dark out, the Xperia 1 used the screen flash to light me up. While my face is properly exposed, the background is almost lost completely. Moreover, my face looks incredibly soft. On a whole, I’d call these average selfie shots at best.

Video

Flagship phones need to be able to capture 4K video, full stop. While we’d prefer to see 60fps, we can deal with 30fps which is where the Xperia 1 camera tops out. I captured a variety of video with the Xperia 1 in 4K and Full HD (the latter in 60fps). It may be hard for your eyes to really see the difference between the two, but the 4K footage from Sony impressed. I was pleased with the way the phone captured motion smoothly, despite the fact that I was moving around. Moreover, the phone’s sensors are better able to adapt to changes in lighting when recording video. Here, the Xperia 1 matches the competition.

Conclusion

As I said in my full Sony Xperia 1 review, I’m stunned at how poorly the Xperia 1’s camera performs. Not only is it not up to snuff when compared to other flagships, such as the Samsung Galaxy S10, Huawei P30 Pro, and Google Pixel 3 XL, it doesn’t even compare to the budget Google Pixel 3a XL. It’s hard to recommend a $949 phone when a $479 phone beats the snot out of it in the core category of photography. The bottom line, if you thought Sony’s adoption of the triple-camera setup would lead to a dramatic improvement in imaging quality, I’m here to tell you that’s not the case. Read the full article

#SonyXperia1Review

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kellykperez · 6 years

Text

Guide to voice search optimization: Six steps to undertake in 2019

Have you ever tried to search for some data online when you were multitasking and couldn’t type the text? It would be quite challenging without the opportunity to conduct voice search.

According to PWC report, 71% of respondents would rather use their voice assistant to search for something than physically typing their queries. And what’s the most important is that the differences between spoken and typed queries may cause different SERP. It means that your competitors’ voice search optimized websites have much more chances to engage most of your potential customers or subscribers.

If you want your website rank for voice queries as high as for the typed ones, this article will help you discover all the steps you should undertake.

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Voice search evolution

Do you remember when voice search required calling a phone number from your mobile device and saying your search query? Well, it was in the early days of voice search (to be more precise, in 2010), and few people actually used it.

Since then, voice search has improved significantly. On June 2011, Google announced they started to roll voice search on Google.com. Once being available only in English, today there are about 60 languages supported in Google Voice Search.

With ‘Hummingbird,’ updated in 2013, the concept of typed and especially spoken search changed a lot. The algorithm emphasized natural language processing and was aimed at considering the users’ intent and the context of the query. From that moment search questions structured in sentences got more relevant answers. So, it influenced voice search, which is usually formed from long phrases, a lot.

How to optimize for voice search

Experts’ opinions about optimization for voice search differ but each of them agrees that it’s an important part of an SEO process.

Here is, for example, Jenny Halasz’s mind: ‘While voice search is certainly the future of how we will do most searches, there’s not really too much you can do to optimize for it that is different than regular SEO optimization. Because Google’s goal will always be to return the best result based on the person, location, and history, it’s hard to guess exactly what the right answer for a query will be.”

And this is what Shane Barker says about it: “Facilitated by the launch of voice-based digital assistants like Siri and Alexa, voice search now constitutes a significant part of all online searches. And its share is only going to rise to a level that SEO experts can’t deny its importance. The question is, who will be best prepared when voice search takes up a majority share of all searches? And the answer to that is SEO experts who are devoting their time to it now. However, there is another side to it. Though voice searches are likely to be a really important part of SEO in the future, it is not the case now. While my advice would still be to start preparing for it, I would advise against allocating a substantial part of your budget to it. So, start learning about the nuances of SEO for voice search, but don’t go overboard and hire a team for it. At least not yet. The best place to start is to learn about Google’s Hummingbird and other algorithm updates and how they changed the dynamics of SEO.”

So, let’s speak about the ways of voice search optimization.

Due to the differences between the results of typed and spoken ways of search, your site optimization for the traditional search isn’t the same as the voice search optimization.

The most significant thing to worry about is that people using their mobile assistants to conduct voice search get only one top result. As half of the search will have been conducted by voice by 2020, half of your potential customers won’t see your website even if you’re the fourth in the SERP. Ranking the top will be the main goal for every business owner.

So, what are the essential factors for you to consider optimizing for voice search?

Featured Snippet

Have you heard about featured snippets? These are ones which Google forms from the most relevant content and places in the top of search results, like this:

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The reason I mentioned these snippets is that Stone Temple Consulting claims that 30% of 1.4 million tested Google queries contain them. And you can be sure that if the results include featured snippet, your voice assistant will demonstrate it. That’s why one of your goals when willing to get ranked in voice search results should be providing such a quality data for Google to express it in the featured snippet.

User intent

Do people search for your website when they want to buy something or to find out some information? The reason a person looks for websites is called user intent. Sometimes it may be obvious and expressed in the query with the words ‘buy,’ ‘price,’ ‘how to,’ ‘what is,’ etc. Sometimes it’s only in the users’ minds.

Regardless of how the intent is expressed, due to the Hummingbird update, Google dwells into the context of the search query, investigates the sites’ content and provides you with the relevant answers. For example, if I say ‘oscar winners,’ it’s most likely I’m interested in the recent ceremony, not in the results from 20 years ago. And search engines understand it. That’s why you should consider user intent when creating the content which will enhance the relevance of your pages to specific search queries. If you want to optimize your page for a featured snippet, your main aim should be understanding user intent and giving your audience an immediate answer.

And here is what Jenny Halasz says about this topic: “Try to match your customers’ intent with your content, seek to answer questions, and provide details wherever possible. The same steps you take now to optimize for answer boxes are going to help you in voice search too.”

Long tail keywords & Questions

Searching for some information with the help of voice assistant, people behave as if they’re talking to a human. Most of them don’t simply use short keywords, but instead, they ask questions and prefer long phrases.

That’s what Shane Barker says about this subject: “Use more conversational keywords and phrases that people use while speaking, not while typing. Essentially, these will be long-tail keywords but phrased in the way people speak.”

By the way, using long tail keywords is a good practice not only for voice search optimization but also for traditional SEO. The fact is that the key phrases containing more than 2 words have the lower difficulty (or competition) level and provide the great chances to rank the top.

As I’ve already mentioned, along with long phrases, people also tend to use questions for voice search. For instance, when typing the query, a person tries to use the most relevant keywords and writes something like ‘the best coffee in NYC.’ But voice query sounds much more natural. First of all, talking to your voice assistant, you should start with ‘Hey Siri…,’ ‘OK, Google,’ etc. These phrases make you think you’re communicating with your device, not just conducting the keyword-based query. That’s why looking for the best coffee, you’re most likely to ask the question, such as ‘Hey Siri, where can I drink the best coffee?’

To find out what questions your target audience may ask and not to spend much time, you can use special services, such as Answer the Public or Serpstat Search Questions. If you go with Serpstat, simply type the word or a phrase best describing the subject of your content and see how people usually search for it.

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Answer

Shane Barker: “Answer your customers’ common questions on your website or blog. Use a conversational tone for phrasing these questions, to rank well for voice queries.”

When you choose the questions you’re writing about in your post, add them to the pages around your site. Create h2 headers using these queries and provide an answer in the body text. Answer the questions concisely and make sure the main idea is stated briefly.

After you answered the question directly, you can also cover other related search questions. It’ll help you rank for as many variations of queries as possible.

Not to lose your position at featured snippets, keep your content fresh and update it regularly.

Page speed

The time needed for your page to load influences whether it will appear in voice search results or not. So, if you want your page to be visible to all those people who prefer voice search, make sure its loading speed is high enough.

As people searching by voice are always on-the-go and don’t have time to wait, it’s difficult to overestimate the importance of optimizing your page speed. Before taking any actions, analyze your website speed with PageSpeed Insights. The service will tell you whether your site’s loading time is low enough, and what you can do to lower it. Mind that mobile speed data is the most important for optimizing for voice search. Also, to Shane Barker’s mind, you should make a website mobile-friendly because a majority of voice searches happen via mobile devices.

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Structured data

What is structured data? It’s code added to HTML markup and used by search engines to better understand your site’s content. Using structured data, you make search engines crawl and read your content efficiently.

With schema markup, you can better control the way you provide the brand information, and the way machines interpret it. Structured data implementation results in rich snippets which are known to increase click-through rate, drive traffic and bring you competitive advantages. Here’s the way these snippets differ from the normal ones:

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Having this data can also help your pages appear in featured snippets and, consequently, in voice search results. Shane Barker also appeals to use structured data markup to provide better information to mobile devices about your website and its content.

So, if you do everything correctly and produce content interpreted by search engines as highly relevant (and if you’re lucky enough), your snippet will become featured:

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Here’s what it looks like in the code:

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To find out how you can implement structured data to your site, use Schema.org vocabulary. There’s a set of schemas which enables SEO experts to markup their websites.

When elaborating structured data, you should remember it’s easy to become spammy. Use the data which is relevant to the content you provide. Moreover, it’s essential to update your markup, as everything tends to be constantly changing, and your website isn’t a conclusion.

Local SEO

The BrightLocal report says that 58% of consumers use voice search to find local businesses. It isn’t surprising as most people conduct voice search when they’re walking or driving somewhere and willing to discover where they should head for.

For the cases when people search for something like ‘best donuts in LA’, it would be good to use the keywords including the cities or countries where your business works.

What’s the most important, conducting voice search people are even more likely to use ‘near me’ phrase. If I decided to eat some donuts, I would rather say ‘OK Google, donuts cafe near me,’ than ‘donuts cafe in Los Angeles.’ In this case, the search engine will use my location to understand which cafes are the closest to where I am at the moment. To appear in the relevant results for such queries, don’t add ‘near me’ key phrases to your content. Jenny Halasz also thinks the same way: “Keep in mind that “near me” queries are simply adding a location intent to a search. It’s not necessary to actually use the words “near me” on your site anywhere. If you want to rank for “pizza near me”, then, by all means, track that keyword’s performance on your ranking tools, but don’t worry about putting “near me” in your actual site code.”

In most cases, search robots use Business Listings information. So, make sure you’ve added all the necessary information, such as brand name, address, opening hours, etc. to Google My Business page. Shane Barker talks about this as follows: “Optimize your Google My Business listing and provide accurate and updated contact information. A lot of voice searches are for local queries and listing your business there will help you rank better for such queries.”

To wrap up

People use voice search widely. And its popularity is going to grow dramatically in the coming years. Those who already consider it in their SEO improve their content visibility significantly, as voice search results show only top pages. You can either benefit from these changes optimizing your website for spoken queries or suffer not doing anything. The choice is yours.

The post Guide to voice search optimization: Six steps to undertake in 2019 appeared first on Search Engine Watch.

source https://searchenginewatch.com/2019/01/07/guide-to-voice-search-optimization-six-steps-to-undertake-in-2019/ from Rising Phoenix SEO http://risingphoenixseo.blogspot.com/2019/01/guide-to-voice-search-optimization-six.html

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bambiguertinus · 6 years

Text

Guide to voice search optimization: Six steps to undertake in 2019

Have you ever tried to search for some data online when you were multitasking and couldn’t type the text? It would be quite challenging without the opportunity to conduct voice search.

If you want your website rank for voice queries as high as for the typed ones, this article will help you discover all the steps you should undertake.

Pic

Voice search evolution

How to optimize for voice search

Experts’ opinions about optimization for voice search differ but each of them agrees that it’s an important part of an SEO process.

So, let’s speak about the ways of voice search optimization.

Due to the differences between the results of typed and spoken ways of search, your site optimization for the traditional search isn’t the same as the voice search optimization.

So, what are the essential factors for you to consider optimizing for voice search?

Featured Snippet

Have you heard about featured snippets? These are ones which Google forms from the most relevant content and places in the top of search results, like this:

Pic

User intent

Long tail keywords & Questions

Pic

Answer

Shane Barker: “Answer your customers’ common questions on your website or blog. Use a conversational tone for phrasing these questions, to rank well for voice queries.”

After you answered the question directly, you can also cover other related search questions. It’ll help you rank for as many variations of queries as possible.

Not to lose your position at featured snippets, keep your content fresh and update it regularly.

Page speed

Pic

Structured data

Pic

So, if you do everything correctly and produce content interpreted by search engines as highly relevant (and if you’re lucky enough), your snippet will become featured:

Pic

Here’s what it looks like in the code:

pic

To find out how you can implement structured data to your site, use Schema.org vocabulary. There’s a set of schemas which enables SEO experts to markup their websites.

Local SEO

For the cases when people search for something like ‘best donuts in LA’, it would be good to use the keywords including the cities or countries where your business works.

To wrap up

The post Guide to voice search optimization: Six steps to undertake in 2019 appeared first on Search Engine Watch.

from Digtal Marketing News https://searchenginewatch.com/2019/01/07/guide-to-voice-search-optimization-six-steps-to-undertake-in-2019/

0 notes