#instead of joking about it forever cause it only gets you so far right? so fucking hard

[vyragosa]

the opposite apparently? absence of restraint, being unable to physically stop yourself from talking and thankfully i don’t experience it on a constant level in daily-life but,  ......kind of. yeah no i do a little, but it just gets exponentially worse if talking to any acquaintance at all, i wouldn’t actually put it past being generally an autism thing since everyone and their mother will tell me “well aren’t ya?” and telling me to get checked but, this country actually has a two years delay for ANY type of diagnosis, i don’t actually seek to know it because fuck am i gonna do with it you know?

recently i feel very literal physical fatigue at times from talking but also, from typing, a few weeks back i literally felt exhaustion from compulsion to word vomitting, it’s just not goddamn stopping and the doc literally telling me

“usually it’s a diagnosis in children, or else it simply gets too much to handle” 

and i’m just, it’s all too much you know?

[ash-says]

hiii ! i love your post about being audacious 🩷 do you have any tips about improving people skills/ being more charismatic? thank youuuu 🤭

Hello girlll!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the audacious post. It's one of my fav tbh I literally came up with it while I was cooking. So coming to your question let me see how I can help you out tbh I share my opinions and what has worked for me so far. So practice discernment and take everything with a pinch of salt✨✨

Tips to improve People Skills/ Being more Charismatic:

1) Find your USP:

USP means Unique Selling Proposition. What makes you unique and I mean it in a personality sense more here. You can extend it to your looks but start from a personality trait cause it will be forever and very personal to you. Even if someone copies it, it will always be a cheap one.

I will elaborate on this with an example:

One of my ex colleagues was really good at socializing. He was 27 years old but I kid you not he looked like a 20 year old or even younger at times. He had a boyish charm and he used it to his full advantage. He literally had a child's energy and would jump here and there in the office, act like a literal child when not working. He had a refreshing energy to him the type that reminds you of your childhood days. Heck after a meeting with the CEO he used to watch cartoons to destress and made us watch it too so we could also relax but when it came to work he was smart, efficient and knew how to use his easy going socializing energy to generate sales. So you get my point right?? Find what attracts people to you or what value you can offer to them.

2) Knowledge. Education.

I personally swear by this. Be as disgustingly educated as possible. Know about various topics at least the basics of current trends or what's hot and some off topics. This adds dimension to your personality and helps you to hold a conversation with anyone. Plus you never run out of topics to speak on.

3) Confidence. No elaboration needed.

4)Sense of humour.

Why bore people to death by reciting the merciless nature of Julius Caesar when you could present it as a joke when something relatable comes up??? People are more likely to find you charismatic if you can make them laugh.

5) Master the art of Storytelling

This!!! Right here is a cheat code I tell you. You don't have much knowledge to speak on for now? Fine as you gradually work on it hold conversations by sharing bits of your life in a colorful way. Engage people with your life stories. Make them fun and a little dramatic. I am not advising you to lie. There's always a way you can convey something in an entertaining manner. Master it. I personally use it a lot and it's fun to connect with people cause they too loosen up and share their stories and then you link it up with your sense of humour by adding a nice comment or comeback.

Warning : Never share details that are very personal to you. Only share funny incidents and situations that won't bring you in trouble if gossiped about. Practice with discernment.

6) Learn positive body language and develop empathy. Empathy truly helps you in connecting with people on a deeper level and creating a bond based on trust and emotions.

7) Smile. Don't grin like a fool but when you see someone you know make a note to address them. Wish them good morning ,etc . Pass a genuine smile towards them. Be polite.

8) Be genuinely interested in other people but not in a nosy way instead in a healthy way. Help them out if you can. A good deed never goes to waste.

9) Have a positive outlook on everything. No one wants a pessimistic person around them. Even on days you can't. You know the mantra ," Fake it till you make it".

10) Support people. Be kind. Soft spoken. Know your place. Don't downplay yourself in front of people who are clearly not at your level and don't overestimate yourself in front of people who are professionals in those fields. Get a grip on how to act with whom. You won't know it until and unless you won't do it. Have a strong sense of self, be opinionated, confident and be witty. It's fun that way. Push your limits and don't be afraid to network with new people and talk to strangers. Who knows what will happen??

Possibilities are endless.

I hope this helps you out✨✨

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 13

<<previous page | next chapter>>

Masterlist

…

Once Diego and I walked in we were instantly bombarded with the scent of alcohol and old men.

“This is interesting,” I whispered to Diego

The place wasn't the typical bar; it wasn't overly crowded, just a few guys talking at the counter. Some turned to look at us but said nothing. Diego looked especially out of place because he was glaring at everyone trying to look around for Klaus. But it didn’t take me a long time to spot him, he stood next to a wall of different framed photos. My face dropped when I saw him wiping tears away with the back of his hands. Diego and I moved quickly towards him, but quietly so we wouldn’t scare him.

Diego placed his gloved hand on the back of Klaus’s shoulder, instead of his normal self he looked stressed when he saw us standing there. He just sighs, “look, just go away please”

“Please just talk to us,” I whispered in a calm voice.

“We’re not leaving till you tell us,” Diego adds.

But Klaus takes that as an insult and scoffs. “Is that a threat, you're threatening me?” And with that Diego takes his hand off the man's shoulder, I fear that he's too far gone in the slums to talk to right now.

By the steps of another person, I knew we were about to have our first complaint of the night. When I turned around I saw an old man who had a veteran pin on his shirt. He looked unhappy with our presence but tried to keep calm to the best ability.

“Hey guys, and lady..” he starts. “This bar? It’s for vets only.”

“I am a vet,” Klaus calls out while still facing the photos.

The vet lets out a chuckle. “Really? Where’d you serve?” He looks at me thinking that this is one big joke, but I know he's dead serious.

“None of your business.” Klaus barks out.

That leaves the man stunned for a second. “You got balls comin’ in here, pretendin’ you’re one of us.”

“Oh, I have every right to be here just like you.” Klaus turns around. “Asshole.” He yells.

The man's calm and collected face turned into rage at Klaus’s comment and staggered towards him. Which caused us to panic, Diego pushed him back and I took a step in front of Klaus shielding him with my body.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Slow down, Marine.” Diego tried to de-escalate the situation. “All right? My brother’s just had a few too many. Let’s just call it a day, All go our own way.” Even though he wanted to leave, I was happily ready to start a fight.

The other men in the bar start to surround us to look in on the argument going on. “Sure thing.” The man smirks while looking at his friends and walks backward leaving us space to get out of the bar.

Diego sighs. “Thank you, man. Klau-“

“As long as you apologize.” The man puts his hand on Diego's chest to stop him from leaving. Klaus only giggles at the man's stupidity.

Diego stares at him, mouth agape. “Fine. I’m sorry. He's sorry. She’s sorry. We’re all sorry. So.. are we good?” Diego asks. The man pauses and stares and has a bright idea to say. “I wanna hear him say it.”

“You're pushing your luck.” I cut in while glancing around the room at all the angry faces. All the other vets in the bar seemed to circle us wanting to start something.

“If any of you guys have a problem, leave it with me.” I address the room.

I've always been quick to get emotional, especially pissed off when someone was trying to get at Klaus.

Diego stares at me in desperation before turning to the man with fear. “ Hey, man, I’m just trying to solve this okay? It doesn’t have to be a big thing” He tells the man.

“No no no no, he’s right, Y/n. He’s right. He's right.” Klaus turns to the chaos unfolding that he started. “I’d like to apologize…” he walks over to the man with a hand on his chest, trying his best to be sincere.

But Diego takes it genuinely and takes a sigh of relief that this will all be over now. Knowing Klaus it was just getting started.

He continues to speak. “That you.. are depriving some village of their idiot!” He screams.

The chaos reaches a breaking point when the man swings at Klaus, but thankfully he dodges and gives him a headbut in return that sends the man flying back. I give Diego a grin and he rolls his eyes at me and punches a man who comes towards him.

..

We left the bar with way more blood on our hands from when we came in originally and looking back, I think we overdid it. The walk back to Diego's car was silent except for Klaus's occasional giggle and the wisp of golden light entering everyone’s bodies. As we entered the car I once again got in the passenger's seat leaving Klaus in the back as we sped off to a random location of Diego’s choosing.

The location happened to be the street that faced Griddy’s which made Klaus and I want to go get doughnuts but we stayed to listen to what Diego was saying. “You got a big mouth, you know that?” He said while looking at Klaus through the rearview mirror and laughing

“Oh, wow what a truly shocking revelation, Diego.” Klaus reached into his pocket to pull out some substance, even now all these years with him I never knew what he was taking.

Diego continued talking and laughing. “Yeah, everything’s a big joke to you right?” Until he glances at the back seat to see Klaus trying to swallow the pill. “Would you stop it?” He yells.

Diego tries to pull away the drugs from the man and they start struggling back and forth like two children fighting for the last candy. It ended with Diego victorious and Klaus pouting and slamming his hands against his seat in a sort of tantrum

“Why are you putting this shit in your body?” Diego asks him. Klaus blows raspberries in response. “Check this out. Hm?” Diego lifts his shirt and turns in his seat towards Klaus. “My body is a temple. All that shit you do man, it's just weakness.” He says while patting his abs.

I didn't even think a person could be that ripped, not even Diego, I don’t know why I kept staring. It started to feel a little concerning.

Klaus slouches in his seat. “Oh wow, beautiful. Well, weakness feels so good. Don’t you agree Y/n?” His sarcastic words break me from my trance as he sneakily tries to pop another pill.

This time Diego smacks him on his head. “What’s goin’ on with you? Huh?” He raises his voice.

“Don’t hit me, asshole!” Klaus shouts back.

The two of them get in each other's faces. I had to physically press on their chest for them to not start hitting each other again. “Stop it!” I chimed in.

“Don’t tell me everything's alright, because I saw you in there. You were crying like a baby!” Diego points in the direction where the place was while talking to Klaus.

“Because I lost someone!” Klaus breaks down and Diego stops and takes a deep breath letting Klaus talk. “I lost someone. One of the only.. One of the only people I've ever truly loved more than myself.

That leaves Diego with his mouth open lost in thought as well as myself, Klaus takes it as a sign that he can finally pop his pill in peace. “Cheers.” He calls out to us before swallowing.

“Well, you are luckier than most,” Diego says quietly. “When you lose somebody, at least you can.. see them whenever you want.

He’s right, from what I know Klaus can do that. He did it when he accidentally stepped on a dying bird when we were fourteen after Ben got upset that he just squished it. Wait a minute, Ben.. if Klaus truly wanted he could see Ben. He’s always been a sour topic but I wonder if he’s tried it before. I told myself that I needed to ask him about that later.

We all sat in silence until I took a look through the rear view mirror towards the street at Griddy’s. I wanted a donut, even if I didn't need it to survive. “Guys do yo-“

They both looked at my shocked face. “Do we what, Y/n?” Klaus asked

I felt a strange feeling in my bones. It was the feeling of someone’s heartbeat I've felt before, and of course, I hear a lot of the same ones day to day but this one was different. It was troubled and lost, and it was the exact heartbeat I heard when the mansion was attacked. “Oh my god..” I whispered. “The man with the bear mask from the mansion is right over there.” They followed my pointing finger and we all slightly tensed.

I was right, he was right there getting in his car. If it wasn't for his body signals I wouldn't be able to tell that was him since he looks so different without the mask.

“Hey, I know that guy, he and a really angry lady tortured me. I barely got out with my life.” Klaus restates.

I look at Diego to see his reaction and he stares at me, we have that type of understanding with each other now. As the man's car pulled out of the parking lot we knew what we needed to do.

“We gotta get this guy.” We all speak at the same time.

..

“Singles instead of doubles. What’s next, futons on the floor?” I complained as I entered our new motel room.

Cha-Cha only groans. “What difference does it make? We're only here for another night.”

I set my donut bag and my coat on my tiny bed. “Well, that's easy for you to say, I've been in every pawn shop all over town, lookin’ for our briefcase. And you’ve been relaxing in the library.”

She scoffs and pulls out a small book from her bag on the tv stand. “Well, at least we know somethin’ on the family that can help.” I give her a confused glance. “This book, it's like a Hargreeves family handbook.”

“And let me tell you, they’re a real freakin’ mess. Number Five can time travel without a briefcase, but not that well. The big oaf lived on the moon for a few years. The junkie can really conjure the dead. Which explains why he knew about the dead Russian yesterday. And the idiot in the mask can curve anything that he throws, usually knives.”

I turn to look out the window that was concealed by heavy cloths, just to see what’s going on around us. A sudden sound draws my attention and it’s a car, my car that’s currently being looked at by the knife man.. and her.

“What about the girl?” I turned back to Cha-Cha.

“Be more specific,” She said. “The one who I supposedly beat to death the other day.” I did truly regret that, that was dirty work that I hoped to rid myself of. If Agnes knew I did that to one of her past employees it would be over between us.

Cha-Cha scrolls between the pages trying to look for a part on the girl. “Found it, holy shit. That bimbo can heal herself and anyone around her.”

“Her and the knife boy are the ones we have to worry about right now.” I sigh.

“Why?”

“Because they are currently in the parking lot right now hiding behind an ice cream truck.”

“Fuck”

..

“Bingo” Diego says while staring at Hazel and Cha-Cha. They quickly peaked out their window to stare at us before shutting the blinds again. I told him that was a stupid plan to make them see us but I guess it worked in the end.

He started to prepare, grabbing his knives and suiting up to take these murders down. We only looked at him. “You do know that killing these people is not gonna make you feel any better,” Klaus says.

“Yeah.. but when it's done, I'm gonna sleep like a baby,” Diego replies with a smile.

“Sure you will..”

..

A knock at the door alerts us, Cha-Cha was doing whatever she does but I was sitting just trying to eat my donut. I turned to her as we grabbed our guns and headed for the door. I stand at the window and she stands behind the door

With our guns drawn we prepare for an ambush from the Hargreeves, I drop my gun down when I see who’s standing at the door from the window. “Motel clerk,” I told Cha-Cha.

She quickly opened the door and there he was, an old man with a note in his hand. Without saying anything he hands her the note and walks away. “It’s from Five.”

“How’d he even find us?” I questioned.

“Well, he was us. He knows all the protocols. He says he has the briefcase and wants to set up a meeting.” Her eyebrows raise at the note. “Come on, we’re late already.”

I start to pack up my belongings to leave but stop when I remember our stalkers. “What about our friends outside? The last thing we need is a tail. Remember Manila, 1902?”

She stops for a second. “Let’s just go with the ice bucket.” The ice bucket was a plan we’ve used for ages against situations just like this. It starts with me leaving the motel with the ice bucket and Cha-Cha leaving out the window after putting on the tv to make it seem like we're there.

And that's exactly what we did.

..

We watched as Hazel left the motel with an ice bucket instead of his gun and instead of with his partner. “I don’t get it..” I told the group.

“Yeah me neither.” Klaus agreed.

“Stay in the car,” Diego told us.

Klaus and I break into spatters of what and why. “What are you talkin’ about? This guy tortured me.” Klaus said. “There’s no way I'm letting you go by yourself, Diego,” I add on.

He just gives us a look. “I have a plan.” And leaves.

This is a perfect time to ask Klaus about what I wanted to do before. “Hey, Klaus..” I start. He looks up at me. “Remember when Diego said that when you lose somebody you can see them whenever you want? I can't believe i never thought about it this way and I know he’s something we don’t talk about much. But do you see Ben?” I finished my anxious rambling.

Klaus just gives me the most wide eye stare ever.

“Is everything okay?" I asked

One minute he’s looking at the spot next to him the next minute he’s leaping out of the car and running away from me toward Diego.

“Klaus??” I yell out to his darting figure. What the hell was that?

..

That was the most uncomfortable moment I’ve ever had in a car, and I’ve been in a cop car several times. Ignoring the voice of Ben yelling at me I book it to Diego to go help him.

I see him on the top of the staircase getting ready to jump out. “So, what exactly is the plan here, big guy? Oh, I’m sorry that I ruined your moment.”

“I told you to wait in the car.”

“Yeah, but you also told me that licking a nine-volt battery would give me pubes.” He slowly turns to me. “We were eight.” Diego tries to justify. I just shrugged at him. “Plus the car was getting a little stuffy.”

“You know I don’t understand you. I thought you liked being around Y/n.” Not what she’s asking questions about my dead brother..

I pretend I can't hear him and instead, I jump out to see if there’s anyone there like Diego was doing before I came over. But instead of seeing my captors, he grabs hold of me and brings me down the stairs.

“What? Oh, come on.” I whined.

“For once in your life, I need you to listen to me, okay? Now go back to the car. If I don’t come back in two minutes, that means I’m probably dead. That happens, go grab Y/n. She’ll know what to do. Okay?”

I huff at him but he’s dead serious. “Yeah, okay, okay, okay.” He runs back upstairs leaving me free to follow him again. But then he stops and raises his arm for me to leave. “Okay. I'm going "I yell.

I decided to wait at the bottom of the stairs, knowing the conversation headed for me inside the car would be pretty heated, but the conversation came towards me when Y/n ran over. But she doesn’t say a word to me, instead, she runs up the stairs when she hears Diego burst through the doors of their motel room.

The only thing I see is her hair moving in the wind behind her as I run after her. There was Diego right in front of their door, but also the sound of a revving car coming toward us.

..

The first gun shot comes from Cha-Cha, who had her mask back on. I realized what they were doing when I heard they’re bodies getting closer and closer. With Klaus protected, from him being behind me, I grab onto Diego and pull him down to the ground. I thought I had saved him because he missed the shot that had come right towards us. But the reality was the bullet still hit Diego and he cried out in pain. I’d have to deal with that soon before it starts to really affect him.

Soon their car had passed us, and it was finally over. Klaus was the first to speak. He was raving about how if he went back to the car, I wouldn’t have come out and Diego would’ve been hurt more. “Oh man, see? You used to think I was an idiot.” He cheered.

Diego and I tried to catch our breath from the crazy thing that just happened while we looked at Klaus. “Well, I still think you’re an idiot. Come on, they're getting away.” Diego says.

“But you have a bullet in you Diego” I try to stop him.

“No time, deal with it later.” He shouts and speeds off towards the car. Klaus gives me a small smile. “You’re welcome!” He tells me.

I narrow my eyes at the gleeful male. “Don’t think we're done talking about this, Klaus Hargreeves.” He gives me a fearful look and runs after Diego.

Once we return to the car we’re yelled at to get in, but he doesn’t look down and realize that our tires have been shot out, and when he does, he starts to freak out.

“Was this all a part of your master plan?” Klaus asked.

“Shut up.”

I look around for alternative ways to get Hazel and Cha-Cha and my eyes reach the ice cream truck right next to us.

..

By the grace of God, I'm able to track down Hazel and Cha-Cha just by listening out for them, something I never thought I was able to do in a sea of people everywhere.

We are led out of the city and towards the countryside following these people. The only thing I hear is the sound of Klaus and Diego wondering where we’re going every five seconds. And being squished in the front of an ice cream truck didn’t help it either.

Once we could make out the car in the distance Klaus insisted that we turn on the ice cream truck siren, something about looking more inconspicuous I don’t know I wasn’t listening.

Their plan was simply to run into them with the ice cream truck. What we didn’t expect was Five and Luther, there they were standing in front of another car looking at us like we were crazy.

I immediately thought that this was a bad idea but with Klaus's crazy driving, it had already been too late. All I hope is that I would come back if I died doing this, just to haunt Klaus’s ass.

He waved at Five and Luther before picking up speed. “Go faster!” Diego shouted. Why am I here with these morons? Is what I thought to myself.

Hazel and Cha-Cha looked confused for a minute before pointing their guns at us and shooting. That’s when I remember why I’m here, to save these two from dying. But the truck was surprisingly sturdy, and as we ran into them, only the glass was busted.

I looked back at the others, and I saw Luther concealing Five’s body with his own, the same thing I would’ve done in that situation.

But I wasn’t in the ice cream truck anymore. I hadn’t looked at Luther and Five. None of that happened because now all I remember seeing is a familiar blue light and landing in hard grass. Along with Five and a strangely dressed woman.

They both looked fine, but I was very dazed. “Where am I?”

“Welcome to the commission Y/n L/n, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

…

(Trying some new things lmk if you like them!!)

Taglist:

@gabriella-aesthetic @aloflapse @tialovesyoutoo @isomehowexist @elenalovestoread @miscrying @dakotapaigelove @solarbeanz @theoriginalone1111 @water-hemlock18 @bunnychano3o

[hotchs-big-hands]

today I’m thinking about trying to see what it takes hotch to be pushed over the edge. Like if the two of you are pining for one another and there’s tension but he’s trying to be professional, how far do you have to go for him to snap and just fucking take you like he wants to?

you start as anyone does by laughing at his jokes and leaving lingering touches on his arm, but that man has an iron clad resolve and it takes you MULTIPLE nights out with the team to get flirty enough with a stranger in front of him for something inside of him to give out and he drags you by the arm out of the bar and into a cab home where he mercilessly makes out with you the whole way, teasing you as much as he’s comfortable doing buzzed in front of a stranger. When you guys reach his house he’s pushing you up against the door, you guys barely make it to the couch before you have him take you right on the floor. The bed be damned, you guys have forever to try that. He needs you NOW. NOW. He’s so big and so dark, his eyes are searching yours after he’s ripped the buttons on your clothes open. Nothing but animalistic need. You broke him. He hopes you’re happy now that you’ve gotten what you wanted. Can you handle it? Can you handle all of him because he’s refusing to give you any less. (Possessive hotch awoop)

OH MY LAWD ROME IM 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫YAWSSSSSSSS THIS IS HOT AS FUCKKKKKK

THat man is SOOOOOOOOO fucking possessive over you and he'll fuck you like he means it. You've got a lotttttt to make up for flirting with so many people in front of him...

He all but tears your underwear APART and, briefly asking if you're okay with this, will spank you sharply and almost cruelly. Growling into your ear that you're fucking his and the only person who you should be flirting with is him. He can see your arousal, sneering at you if this was caused by that stranger. And you'll whine and whimper that it's all him! Only he makes you feel this way!

"You'll have to fucking prove it to me, you fucking slut." He spits, manhandling you to kneel in front of him. He commands you to take him out of his pants, to take his cock down your pretty throat and prove you're his and his alone. And if you touch yourself? He'll nudge you with his leg, telling you only good little pets get to touch themselves.

But he'll pull your mouth off his cock soon enough though, he doesn't wanna cum down your throat (this time). He'll claim that slutty little hole of yours instead. You're fucking his. And he'll make you wail over and over,

"I'm yours! I'm fucking yours! I'm yours, Aaron!" What bliss 🤤🤤🤤🤤

[kissingrhi]

oh shit bro!!! ok! ahh if you have time and you would like to, would you have anything at all in the realm of hurt/comfort for lalo and/or nacho? ngl im down in the pits and ur writing is like a grilled cheese sandwhich on a cold rainy day, its amazing.

idk, maybe the reader is kind of going through it mentally and hella withdraws from everyone which causes conflict bc ahhh cartel work or something (idk man i dont deal drugs) and so The Boys go and check up on u bc "dude did you die or something?" (bc cartel stuff yknow?) and YOURE like "no i didnt die im just vibing bro but the vibes are tainted and gross" and theyre like "cool lets fix that." yknow? idk man the world is your oyster, i trust you. go nuts. but only if you would like to and have the time, i dont wanna pressure you to do anything homie :,) i hope u have a good day.

by far the cutest ask i have ever been sent. i'm sobbing. ily. and i am a WHORE. for hurt/comfort. you just get me!

cw: this gets kind of heavy at parts! maybe releasing something subconsciously with this man idfk. some of talk of depression, anxiety, stuff of that nature. enjoy!!

you legitimately wanted to disappear. forever.

your brain was constantly scrambled, erratic, and loud. you thought of everything and remembered nothing 99.9% of the time. what you did remember was nothing short of miserable reminders of what got you to where you were. who you were. what you'd done.

the shaking of your desperate hands and shuttered breathing of your lungs were nothing compared to the mind-numbing, seemingly endless spew of unfortunate findings in the barren wasteland that was your brain.

you hadn't come into work in 3 days. it had been 3 days since you'd step foot onto the tiled floor of el michoacáno. 3 days since you'd showered. 3 days since you'd moved, besides the awkward shifting during the freezing cold in the middle of the night, when you attempted to sleep. you were miserable, and the worst part was you couldn't decipher why.

it had also been 3 days since you'd checked your phone. oblivious to the countless amount of mixed calls from some of the only contacts you had: nacho and lalo. when you finally made it to reaching your phone, shoved in the drawer of your nightstand, your eyes widened. you ruined something again.

the texts varied from

L: ¿dónde diablos estás?

N: lalo me está molestando.

to

N: hate to say it, but i miss you

L: come back pls

you felt terrible, throwing your phone back to its place with a groan, hiding under the covers like you could escape the tenderness of missing your coworkers. more specifically, your friends.

all you could try to focus on was the gentle beating of your heart, remembering the time that nacho calmed you down the first time you had a panic attack in front of him after nearly dying. his hands were ice cold against your hot cheeks, pulling the hands that were hopelessly wiping away the streaming tears all the way down to your chest.

"el corazón. no cesará. no te dejaré tampoco."

you can still recall the pattern of his slow heart that you heard while you cried against his chest.

you weren't sure how long it was until you felt a change in the air. minutes, hours, days? time was moving irrationally slow and fast all at once. you were still blankly lying against your bed, buried under your blankets. nacho felt like he was at your wake.

you were zoned out, eyes only focusing when the two men you were worried about had seemingly teleported in front of your bed. instead of dropping a sarcastic, self-deprecating joke (like you usually do), you merely turned to the other side with a dramatic sigh.

a pair of rough fingers jumped in front of your line of vision, snapping rambunctiously.

"hey, hey! what the hell, mi amigo!?" his tone was dripping with comedy. "you have no right to ignore either of us. we've been so good to you."

you knew it was lalo quickly, thanks to the delicious grandiose of his gravely voice.

you finally turned around, hearing your bones crack as you pushed yourself up to lay against your bedpost. nacho and lalo drank in your disheveled state, agitation on their faces quietly fading into a look you knew all too well: concern. you glimpsed down at nacho's hand, rubbing his thumb over something he was obviously nervous about before shoving it in his pocket.

"i-" you started, blood suddenly running cold at the what you thought to be shameful eyes staring right at you. for some reason, a lump that had been building for what felt like years finally exploded in the back of your throat, a quick tear that you attempted to wipe away slipping down your cheek, going to push away nacho's anxious hand that reached for your back.

"what? you what?" lalo's posture had completely changed, eyes softening.

the tears were flowing fearlessly now, your eyes still dim and lifeless. you seemed to be fading away, in real time. it was melancholy.

"i am not-" you swallowed, putting a hand to your heart subconsciously.

"i am not ignoring you guys." you said firmly, staring lalo right in the eyes with your stoic, but unconvincing gaze.

the two exchanged looks at each other, nacho biting the inside of his cheek, lalo scratching the back of his neck. they had no idea what to do. they killed people for a living! even if you three weren't the most fond of each other at times, you obviously cared about each other.

"i'm just adjusting. i've got a lot going on. needed some rest." you explained, pressing your fingers together so hard that when you pulled them apart, the skin eased open slowly.

"haha." you were unconvincing, and unrelenting in how much you swore that everything was just fine.

lalo was already strutting his way into the kitchen, starting on something he knew you'd like: chicken noodle soup. when you went to scold him for barging in your home, he just pressed a gentle kiss on your head, making your eyes widen because that is so unlike him.

while lalo got to work in the kitchen, nacho cautiously sat at the end of your bed. when you went to talk, still tearful and messy, nacho politely put a hand up.

"you don't have to explain yourself all the time, you know?" he asked, genuine curiosity brewing in his deep eyes.

"i mean, especially not to me or him." he nodded towards the kitchen, past your doorway. "do you see how we have spent our lives?" he asked, pressing a tickling finger into your side, grinning ear to ear when you smiled the tiniest bit.

"listen. i know how it feels." he started, eyes searching around the floor to try and put what he wanted to say politely, into terms he knew wouldn't blossom into spouts of dangerous overthinking in your unpleasantly fragile mind. he looked just about as sad as you.

"i know what it feels like to have no one understand." he finally looked up at you, hands gently pressing into your shoulders. his eyes were almost watering. maybe you were hallucinating.

you started to cry more, and his frown grew.

"please, please do not cry." he started.

"estás muy cerca de romperme el corazón." was said under his breath. mumbled like an unforgivable sin at the altar.

while his hands wiped away at your tears, he just silently told you, "we care about you. we all care about each other. we have to."

his touches that were so comfortable against your tense body led you to your bathtub, and before you knew it he was sitting on the edge of your toilet and rubbing body wash against your spine. his grimace grew at your sorrowful, hunched figure.

"please do not cry." was uttered again, like you crying would shatter his world just as much as yours.

as soon as you were dressed in fresh clothes, and your messy hair was neatly pulled away from your face, nacho brought you back to your newly cleaned bed.

you felt like your only lifeline was his warmth surrounding what felt like the arctic that you had embedded yourself in.

lalo invited himself back in, pressing a beautiful tray of chicken noodle soup onto your lap, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders with an airy sense of comedy (he pretended like the job was a massive issue to him, groaning each time he had to move, watching you deeply to see you laugh).

you just stared up at both of them, like you had never experienced this kind of care before.

if you were being honest with yourself, you definitely hadn't.

"well?" lalo started, looking right back at you. "eat." he said, almost in a way that a mother does to their child. he scolded you, but in the way that you know had the purest and most loving intentions.

when you did, you noticed the sharp, grainy pain in your throat was instantly washed away. you couldn't stop. your nutrient-deprived body scarfed down the meal, chugging the glass of water he added on the side.

"thank you guys." was all you said, looking away with a gentle smile on your face.

"are you kidding me? of course!" lalo laughed. "you just need to come coddle me every time i get sick. deal?" he asked, rubbing your head.

after hours of hugs and distracting conversations, the pair decided you were well enough to leave for the night.

"get lots of rest, okay? don't need you to lose any focus at work." lalo pointed a demanding finger at you, chest raised like he was the king of the world. "be safe."

you nodded, your head leaning into your pillow with a grin. nacho situated himself in front of you once more, reaching into his pocket. he made his way out while you read the tiny slip of battered paper.

you noticed a gorgeous blue, dried flower pressed against the right edge. in his messy handwriting you could dechiper:

"el corazón. no cesará. no te dejaré tampoco."

[mooseyspooky]

Why do you think Morrissey has been acting like this lately? Is it because Marr turn down a reunion? I don't think he only wanted the reunion for the money. I also feel like Morrissey feels irrelevant and forgotten and thought that maybe a reunion might give a new life to his career

Darren asked me about this yesterday, and I wrote a whole essay about it. I think just copying it here will be a good answer to this.

Darren: How are we feeling about the moz and Johnny news

Me: Pretty indifferent. Same shit another day. I mean they survived the court case and banged all the way through the early to mid 2000s to 2009

Moz having a tantrum is nothing new

I was very sad to hear Johnny said no to a reunion

But it's not like I don't get it

Andy passed last year

Johnny wanted Moz back in 2008 and Moz ghosted him after promising he was totally on board

Moz didn't show up for the 2006 fundraiser concert for Andy's dad's cancer

Which is pretty ruthless

Moz clearly hasnt opened a single email Johnny sent him since 2018 when Johnny filed the trademark and tried to get him to cosign

Which is insane because Johnny did it specifically to stop Mike Joyce (the Classically Smiths venture that he tried roping Andy into, though Andy backed out at the last minute. Some say because of his cancer, but I'm sure Johnny being so pissed off about it he got lawyers involved was also a part of it)

Which is literally something Moz should be gagging to do at all times 24/7

And meanwhile nothing

And then Johnny continued to try, even sending the paperwork again this year in January and nothing

So i mean why would Johnny want a reunion

Moz wants it to happen a year after Andy is buried, it's too late

Does it hurt I don't get to see them together on stage ever, yes, but I'm not like

Demented

If I was Johnny I'd be so fucking tired

Like beyond exhausted

Sharing a stage with him?

Putting up with him on tour?

Moz canceled over 50% of shows last year

No explanation, sometimes on the _day of_

Just wouldn't do them

I mean Johnny won't cancel a show if his grandma dies

Moz just

Cancels cause it's a slightly breezy day out and that offends him

Yes I love Moz, I am his ride or die, I will go to my grave obsessed with him and everything about him

But I am aware and understanding he is extremely fickle and can be very stupid

This is all happened, literally all of it, cause Johnny made very light fun of him on Twitter

Like barely a joke

Johnny saw some popular girl on Twitter who is a super fan

Saw she mentioned a reunion

Didn't tag him

And Johnny posted a picture of a far right dude in England that Moz protested the treatment of in prison one time like- i don't know. 7 years ago

They put the guy in a prison where he was at high risk, and Moz made a slight offhanded comment saying it was cruel

So now here we are, with Johnny posting a picture of a guy

To a Smiths super fan

Who didn't tag him

Who mentioned a reunion

Because she saw Oasis get back together

And Moz got _so upset_

He decided to throw an absolute shit fit

And now Johnny has to be like literally can you calm down

And in some ways I understand both sides

Moz just

His sort of...recurring thing

Is that he really really hates when Johnny won't stick up for him

Or when Johnny is quiet when people are dog piling on him

Johnny did that a lot in the 90s

During the NME smear campaign, for instance, and the court case

And it really broke Moz up

Like, and I can imagine it did hurt

To be so close and so in love and meanwhile Johnny won't do anything. Just sit there and refuse to say anything

That's probably heartbreaking

Especially with Moz being so. Like. Blindly in belief that Johnny is forever innocent, forever perfect ("the always innocent young cabin boy")

There is no flaw

But Johnny is a human being, too, who has a lot going on

And to then see Johnny, here in 2024, once again. After 30 years not stand up for him

But instead making teasing posts on Twitter

Even if they're not cruel

I could see it causing Moz to have a meltdown

Should he be? At 65? No. He should be over it

But he's not

He still wants Johnny to love him, to defend him

And so yes he did have a total split from sanity for a bit but at the end of the day. I think the underlining thing is is that it stems from Moz being so deeply infatuated with his first love that he can't stand even the slightest notion Johnny isn't still as infatuated with him

Johnny was able to move on, to continue to keep his marriage, he was able to maintain friendships and have a lot of normal stuff that Moz couldn't because autism

Undiagnosed unrecognized autism but all the same

Moz is still, in his mind, deeply entrenched in the belief that Johnny is perfect and slight diversions from that cause major malfunctions

Moz clearly doesn't give a shit about the trademark thing. He's ignored it since 2018. Moz has talked about loathing albums being repackaged (Paint a Vulgar Picture), so clearly the greatest hits thing doesn't really bother him

Moz wanting a reunion, sure. Okay. Maybe that stung but my god he had to expect it

So what does Moz care about?

Johnny

That's it. Period.

He wants Johnny to love him and be obsessed with him forever, and that's the long and the short of it so.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Things I Noticed While Writing Light The Fuse: Part 3, Episode 1

Phew okay time to wrap this one up for real this time!

This shot is interesting, we've got Ethan staring at Meredith, who's again looking at him, although probably because he's new and an easy target lol and then Johnson is watching Ethan, probably because he's looking at Meredith, while Matty has his eye on the bar

This is as far back as this shot gets, but Avron is nowhere in sight, so he had to have seen Matty walk over and purposefully approach him, what an asshole

Found him, weasel was waiting over there on the other side of the bar. Also I still can't get over Agnes calling him Prince it's so cute I just had to make it his actual title, the Prince of the Phoenixes 🥰 but I know it's probably got a bitter side to it too as a reminder that he is still a Phoenix, my deep dive on Matty could go on forever do not get me started

Okay I needed to point out this entire scene cause these two have such a fascinating not even relationship or rivalry but SOMETHING going on that I need to sit down with the creator and Rhys to know exactly what happened. I can theorize and write up Avron being horrible all day long but my desire to know what went on outside of 'Avron becomes a Brawler and Matty is jealous' because every single acting choice they chose for this scene is so fucking on purpose.

The way he just freezes and stares when he hears his voice isn't jealousy, that's a reaction. He was already tired from the run so he seems to be in a more serious mood here, but something switches as soon as Avron shows up. This is no longer fun on the river Matty, or initiation 'tell me why you wanna be a Phoenix' Matty, this is him upset over something, and Avron brushing him off is only making it worse like look at his face change once he touches him

That feels like such a deeper hatred than just jealousy. The way Avron is holding onto him and brushed him so roughly, the need to do full eye contact between them, and Matty's mouth twitches again before he says no problem. He was about to start something and I really need to know what happened you guys it's scenes like this that makes this show my Roman Empire

I looked up dandelion boys specifically for this fic and it turns out it means something along the lines of someone who has lived through great hardship and came out resilient and strong and I'm sobbing again

I don't want just this scene to be another post on its own so I'll save the rest of this for my eventual Matty deep dive but oh my god. Oh my god. The way he plays all of this. He wants to be a Brawler so bad but we all saw how happy he was on the river. I'm gunna cry again and I'm not joking this time. Oh my god.

Here it is, the moment that made me wanna do this series in the first place because I definitely didn't notice this the first time since Johnson was too hot. While Matty is getting the drinks, Johnson and Ethan grab some seats and sit down. Johnson is lighting a cigarette. Matty sits down with the drinks, Johnson is smoking throughout the whole scene, Meredith leaves, and then talks to Joel. Matty then talks to Ethan about her, now smoking, and Johnson is lighting another cigarette. Matty stole it from him instead of getting his own. They're married guys I'm not even kidding with this one.

Also I just love the insinuation of Johnson falling for all of them with no example from Matty, yet he's the only one who actually talks to a Pinup (cough Angel cough) at any point in the show. Gunna be a little full of myself for a second and say out of all the stuff I've written for the fic series so far, I feel like their talk on the car about love might be the closest to canon out of everything, it just feels right.

Okay first of all I love the little smile Ethan gives at their warning, what a sweet pea. Second there's Avron staring entirely at Matty again, just completely locked on. My god I need to know what their deal is you guys this is getting serious

He's not straight. This isn't a theory. I also think I was dead on with Matty only starting this conversation because he didn't like how he was talking to Ethan. Best way to get his attention away is to make him focused on Matty again after all

I really love the detail of Ethan trying really hard not to engage after getting involved with the asshole at the restaurant and him going so still the second he looks at Avron

His mouth was twitching again, he reached his breaking point with that one, he's not even looking at Ethan. Also lmao at Johnson looking like me the second I don't have my phone, and the cute lil spin in his chair I love him so damn much

This is another interesting shot to me, Matty is the one saying all this, and Johnson does a fake impressed whistle to go along with it, but Avron says 'that's right' to Johnson out of everyone there, like he should be impressed or something, you can see him look his way specifically, away from Matty and not to Ethan, I wanna know why they choose that direction (it's because I'm right and he's jealous)

This is so evil of Matty to reveal the Aunt V secret, look at how Avron's smile just falls because it's getting out, which is why I am constantly insisting that this runs deeper than jealousy because this is so incredibly personal, this one was made to hurt. Also in the og script they actually caught Avron getting a bj from a guy when they were on the river!

I'm crying again ;w; wonder why they went from this to something even worse? Probably because of all the violence everyone is about to lay out on this man heh me included

What did Avron do to make Matty say this??? What did he repeat that Matty must've told him??? Johnson is staring him down and agreeing with him too I'm gunna lose my mind!!!

Ethan coming in hot with the misdirection so he doesn't hurt Matty, Avron successfully reaching for him only for Matty to take it back, and those punches are not just jealousy again guys he's so fuckin mad here! He hurt him and Matty is hurting him back THIS IS KILLING ME

Once again Johnson is just sitting and watching back there. I mentioned it the first time I posted this scene a while back but I firmly believe he wasn't gunna let Joel throw him out, or maybe he knows that Joel actually wouldn't do that to begin with and this is just to scare him after acting out? The man really does have a soft spot for him so this wouldn't have been the end, he just needs to be grounded for the night and Johnson is aware of that. Obviously I wrote him right there trying to get Joel off cause the thought makes me cry, but I can just as easily picture them sitting outside afterward, Johnson just hands Matty a drink and they hang around all silent GAH I wanna write now but I can't until the weekend OTL

This isn't an observation. I do love how Ethan stands his ground cause we all know he isn't fragile, but jesus christ if anyone grabbed me like that I'd fold so fuckin fast 😳 On another note, it's probably intentional but I really thought Joel was Meredith's dad by this point lol so I had to make Ethan say just that in the fic

This is another interesting shot because Meredith comes into focus and waves of course, but that's also when Matty and Johnson come into focus as well ;w; he could very much be looking at them and then notice that she was there too (which is how I wrote it) just as much as him looking at her while they happen to be walking by, but of course my bet's on the former cause I love them. I'm also madly in love with the track that plays during this scene it's so damn good

They're looking at each other in the mirror 😭 and Matty was already looking before Ethan I can't take thiiiis

It's the end of the first episode are they trying to kill everyone watching?? Cause that certainly nearly happened to me when I saw Johnson looking like this godDAMN also Matty in a tie is the cutest thing I've ever seen I love how all three of them dress so much 🥰

And that's it for episode 1! I used up almost/all my pics/gifs in all three of these and I could've used so many more just on those Matty scenes, thankfully not as much happens in the future so I should be good sans probably the finale which might need two or more depending on how much I cry over the big reveal ;w; ❤️💛💙

[remuswriting]

Cut the Cameras

Invisible Cut

Sunday, September 20. 2:01 PM

The apartment door has never been quiet when opening.  It either slams too loud or creaks on its hinges.  That paired with an excited Masaru opening the door and throwing his shoes off, causing them to hit the wall, makes it known all throughout the apartment he’s there.  Y/N quickly saves his project and tears his headphones off, not caring about the state they end up in.

He hurries out of his room, and Masaru is near his door.  Masaru looks just about how he always does with his hair being far too messy since he hates fixing it and his green eyes are glimmering under the lights with mischief he hasn’t even thought of yet.  He looks exhausted, though.  Almost like the last four days out of the hospital and sleeping at his parents’ home wasn’t enough to cure his exhaustion.  Yet, he’s still there.  He’s there and breathing and smiling at Y/N.

It reminds Y/N of the last time Masaru was in the hospital nearly three years ago.  Although things had been different last time, Masaru causing more destruction to the world around him instead of just buying things and baking, his smile is still the same.  His smile is bright and real.

Y/N’s eyes burn, and it’s the only warning he gets before he starts crying.  Masaru walks over to him and pulls him in for a hug, and it’s so reassuring.  Masaru is there and alive, and Y/N can breathe again.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N says into Masaru’s hair, his snot most likely smearing in it. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Masaru says, and he’s crying too. “You’re not a terrible person—You’re one of the best people I know.”

“You mean the world to me,” Y/N says, and he pulls away so he can look Masaru in the eyes.  Masaru’s face is splotchy from crying, and his eyes are rimmed red.  Y/N doubts he looks any better. “I will stand by your side before anyone else.  Never, and I mean never, think otherwise.”

“Even Tooru?” Masaru asks, and he tries to laugh with it as if making a joke.

“Even Tooru,” Y/N says, and then he hugs Masaru again.  He knows the urge to protect Masaru is what makes things difficult, because he’ll put Masaru before himself.  He’ll sacrifice his happiness to ensure Masaru has his own. “I missed you.”

“I missed you more,” Masaru says, and Y/N lets out a wet laugh.  Masaru squeezes him a little. “Can we get sushi now? I’m like really hungry.”

Y/N laughs again as he nods and pulls away. “Yeah, I just need to change clothes.”

Masaru looks over Y/N’s outfit, which is simply a white t-shirt and green flannel pajama pants.  He had planned on getting ready earlier, but then he got sucked into editing and forgot to set an alarm.

Masaru tilts his head a little. “I think you look fine like that.”

Y/N rolls his eyes. “You just want to leave right now.”

“Yes,” Masaru says, not even trying to hide it. “You take forever to get ready.  Don’t you wear the same thing every day?”

“Sorry that I want to look good when we see your famous boyfriend Kageyama Tobio,” Y/N says, and Masaru stops.

“Tobio is joining us?” he asks, and Y/N slowly nods.

“Is that okay?”

Masaru nods. “Yeah.  I… I just didn’t know he had the time.”

“He made the time,” Y/N says, giving Masaru a pointed look. “He loves you and would do anything for you.” Masaru doesn’t look entirely convinced. “You have people in your corner who love you and are here for you.”

Masaru slowly nods. “You do too,” he says. “I know sometimes you think people are better without hearing your feelings, but they aren’t.  The people who want to hear you will feel better if you tell them.”

“I know,” Y/N says, even though he doesn’t entirely.  He knows in theory, but it’s always felt so embarrassing and like a burden to actually share who he is with people.  It’s dangerous as well, so he stays quiet, even to Tooru.  Sometimes he just can’t find the right words, even though he desperately wants to. “Now, I’m going to get changed.”

He’s not even made it two steps into his room when Masaru speaks. “I should just make Tobio my boyfriend, shouldn’t I?”

Y/N looks over his shoulder at Masaru with a sad smile. “Only you can decide that.  You wanted to be in a better place in your life before you two properly got together.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be in a ‘better’ place.” Masaru bites at his bottom lip. “I think I’ll always be this way, and I need to accept that.”

Y/N’s sad smile turns a little more genuine. “I think you’re already in a better place if you’re thinking like that.” He lets out a dramatic sigh, trying to clear the tension. “Now, can I get changed or do we need to talk a little more?”

“You can get changed,” Masaru says as he laughs. “Thank you for listening.”

Y/N grins at him. “Of course.  I’m always here to listen.”

“Same for you,” Masaru says, and Y/N’s chest is so warm.  This is what he prefers between them, not the hostility and fear that had built over the months.  Things are back to normal—how they’re meant to be.

Standard Cut | Invisible Cut | Jump Cut

Masterlist

Note: I know this is mainly a subplot chapter. More concrete plot will be happening, though, so I wanted to have this bit be resolved before other things start.

Tag List: @chaoswrites @princessmidas @adriivette @riahyayarii @that-bi-bitch-writes @magmagicstyle @yeoshwan @seijohiselite @tfstuffs @zawadni @kennylovesberries @starlight0faith @nyxmania @akki-teru

[theheraldsrest]

I have never asked on tumblr before, but I love all the writing, so I’ll give it my shot.

I was wondering if you could write how the companions (+ advisors if possible) reacts to The inquisitor losing their arm, either right after or when returning.

Would be a + if it’s a young inquisitor but that isn’t necessary(close to Varric) It’s kinda specific but you can do what you want, I’ll be happy either way☺️

“Companions react to Inquisitor losing their arm”

So I know most people headcannon that Solas took the Inquisitor’s arm. BUT there is also the headcanon that the LI or close friend helps cut it off, either by doing the actual chopping or helping to hold down the Inquisitor. So we gonna roll with that, except Solas who will still be stealing your arm. Here you go @i-do-love-to-kvile !

-Lord Lex

Cullen

Upon being given his position, he had made one promise that he meant to up keep: Protect the Inquisitor at all cost. Now, standing near you as you breathe heavily, the stump that once was your arm being cared for, he felt as if he had broken this promise. Later he’d look back on this moment and realize that there was nothing else he could’ve done but at the moment, he felt the weakest. He’d stay by your side, getting whatever you need and discussing with you ways to replace the arm. If anyone from the council tries to disturb you while you’re healing, they’re going to have a very angry Commander on their hands, telling them in a icy tone to “Leave. You. Be.”

Josephine

Her hands are shaking and, somewhere in the back of her mind, she realizes this is the most blood she’s ever had on her hands in her life. But she doesn’t care. She’d try to staunch the blood, calling for a healer, for anyone, just someone to help you. Josey spent so long trying to research ways to help you and prepare you for the worst but this? It was an idea which was saved only as a last resort. Even when they do get a healer, she’s still shaking and only realizing now that she’s crying. They can’t lose you. Especially with everything going on. She’s trying to keep it together and take over your duties so that there is less off of you. Anything to help you.

Leliana

As your spy master, she is seething and demanding for her people to keep an eye on you while also trying to find where Solas is. She’d be the main reason Josephine is pulled away, trying her best to keep her composure and calm down her friend while a healer attends to you. If Divine, she receives this news and rushes to your side, demanding the talks be put on hold. They’re trying to destroy the Inquisition while the Inquisitor lays bleeding out? They can go to the far reaches of the Fade. When you do heal, she tries to be comforting but also tries to get information to understand what happened (and to hunt down who caused this).

Vivienne

One of two options: either she is furious or she is shaken to her core. Either way, it’s a first for everyone seeing this side of Madam Vivienne. As soon as the word healer reaches her ears, she’s there and already putting as many healing spells into you as possible without harming you. She’s unable to save your arm but at least she’s able to stop the blood. At least she’s useful. It’s the first time in forever since the passing of her love that she’s thought that way. But even then you were there to reassure her. Now, you lay there, weak and missing a limb. She stays by your side to comfort you, talking about anything and everything other than what had just occured.

Varric

Varric always has a joke, even for the worst of events. He knew when it was a good time to tell them and when it wasn’t. This is one of those times where he doesn’t know if it’ll help. He’s seen a lot of violence in his life but it never gets easier. He’s one of the people who’d be on your opposite side, trying his damndest to distract you while the others take off your arm. He’s trying to distract you from the pain as they’re trying to heal you. Instead of looking at the worst of it, he’s trying to turn your eyes to the bright side. Maybe he can see about getting a friend of his to make a prostetic for you. Eventually it just turns to him trying to soothe it and making one more promise, the same promise he made for Hawke. He’d never let anyone hurt you again, not on his watch.

Cole

He knows you’re in pain and has tried his hardest, but can’t make it go away. He wants to help so badly, to make it all better, but it’s become more difficult now that he’s starting to be alive again. He’s trying to help where he can, whether it be staunching the blood or trying to distract you from what was about to happen. Why would Solas…? He doesn’t understand and wants to but right now, all that matters is to make you right even if you are missing a piece. Wonders why they don’t want to keep the arm. Can’t they put it back on? Or is it broken, like the original Cole?

Solas

He is full of regret. Everything. What happened to his people, what happened to the orb, his plans, the events that have happened…but you? He doesn’t know. He knows the power within the orb would be too great for you to handle, eventually overcoming you. Had he expected to grow close? He didn’t mean to and yet he did. Now, here you were in front of him, in pain and asking him to come back, saying you’d either help him or look for a peaceful option. He wants to let go, he wants to forget you…but he can’t. He can’t let his friend die now, at least not to this. Maybe one day, he’ll find you. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll ask you to forgive him.

Cassandra

One of the ones to be given the option to cut off your arm. As the Divine, it may be suggested against letting her but it comes down to her decision. You are one of her only close friends, she’d do anything to make sure you were safe and to help you in any way. Cassandra may hesitate but, in the end, she’d do it knowing how much pain you were in. As soon as the job’s done, her weapon is dropped and she’s trying to help the healer. She’s so worried, begging the Maker to let you live. It’s a first time for everything, including seeing Seeker Cassandra shed some tears as she asks you to hold on. 

The Iron Bull

It’s one of those times that Bull has to separate himself from his duties. But knowing the person he’s about to chop a limb off of makes it a bit more difficult. He knows he has to do it or the stupid fade magic will kill you. He has someone near prepared to heal you and another (maybe two) to hold you down. And in one fell swoop, your arm is disconnected and he’s already checking to see if it’s stopped the progress. Probably be one of the only people who suggests against more magic being used to close your wounds and would even take it upon himself to try and patch you. Only after you’re fine does he finally let out his breath that he’d been holding.

Dorian

Like hell he was going to let you suffer. He’s ready, by your side, trying his own magic to separate the arm in the least painful way possible. As soon as it’s off, he’s using the last bit of his magic to heal you. Dorian was not about to lose someone so close to him, who had been with him through more than anyone else had. He owed you his life and he was going to make sure your help didn't go to waste. He’s trying so hard to soothe you, petting your head and trying to calm you down so that you can relax. He doesn’t want you to be in pain and it hurts to see you like this. Tires himself out putting all his magic into you, but it was worth it.

Sera

For the first time in a long time, Sera’s afraid. She’s worried. Worried for you. She’s not supposed to care about anyone but herself, yet you changed her mind. No, they can’t lose you. Not now, not after everything you’ve done for her. She still needs to pay you back. She’s trying to distract you, pointing out stupid things but immediately panics when your arm is chopped off. Your screaming causes her to scream, mainly saying “Stop panicking! It’s fine! You're fine!” Someone has to calm you both down. As soon as you're patched up and both of you are fine, she simply says “...At least you still got the right, yeah?”

Blackwall

Another one to be asked to remove it, but oh is he suffering. In no way whatsoever did he want to do anything that would hurt you nor did he want you to struggle. And one option was starting to overshadow the other. It takes him three tries to have the courage and on the third try does he slice completely through it, cringing at your screams, knowing he caused them. That was not a noise that he wanted to ever hear, having promised himself that he would never hurt the innocent again. He had to put that promise to the side to help save you. By the time you come to, he’s crying and trying to patch up your wound, asking you to forgive him.

Also, just finished this at midnight so please excuse any grammar mistakes or wonky lines. Have a good night/morning!

[theonceoverthinker]

6. Yep. I’m doing more miscellaneous Bowuigi HCs, and I’m numbering them now!

-The two of them snore. Loudly. Luigi's snores can be heard from two or so doors away, and Bowser's? You can hear it from the other side of the hallway. Everyone knows when Bowser is asleep. It's a total boon for his staff and minions because they know exactly when they need to return to their posts and start getting work done. Their individual snores don’t bother each other. Like, Luigi might have had to get used to the loudness of Bowser’s snores and I think Bowser was just surprised for a few days that Luigi snored at all, but they quickly got over those feelings and adapted to their partner’s quirks.

-Bowser adores Poulterpup. He’s a dog-loving koopa at heart and Poulterpup has that mischievous energy that really vibes with Bowser. Whenever he can, Luigi bring Poulterpup to Bowser’s castle so he can hang out with Bowser, the kids, and himself. Luigi likes giving Poulterpup another place to run around in and others for him to socialize with. Kamek’s...less than enthused because Poulterpup always manages to distract Bowser from his kingly duties or is causing chaos in the castle. However, Kamek just has to suck it up because Bowser’s not having anything happen to his favorite pooch.

-Bowser has accidentally lit Luigi on fire in the past. Some things outside of Bowser’s control just have a way of setting off his fire breath, and poor Luigi has occasionally gotten the burnt end of the stick. It definitely happened on one of their first few dates, and Bowser was convinced he’d blown it with Luigi forever...right after he’d...blown it (Look, I like puns, okay?). It was only when Luigi came to the castle the following day to check on Bowser that Bowser knew that he still had a fighting chance with him. I could also see Bowser trying to light a candle, sneezing while doing so, and Luigi’s clothes catching on fire. Luigi’s used to pain and always forgives Bowser because he knows they’re accidents. Still, Bowser does feel bad, and on the plus side, he does make more of an effort to be safe with his fire abilities around Luigi in the future, learning how to control his abilities better because of it.

-Bowser and Luigi both swim, and they do it well. On Bowser’s half, not counting stuff like the Sonic Olympic games, that might come across as surprising because, you know, he’s big and breathes fire. However, those qualities don’t end up limiting him all that much. Sure, he’s not as fast or controlled as Luigi is in the water, but his stamina is not to be underestimated. And Luigi is so good at swimming that it’s a running joke between himself and Bowser that he’s part Cheep Cheep. He’s fast in the water and is able to practically turn on a dime. He and Bowser are able to swim pretty deep underwater and are good at holding their breaths, and if they go to like a beach for a vacation, they’ll definitely go snorkeling, looking for fish, shells, and treasures.

I’m only gonna do four this time, but it’s because I have been doing a LOT of work on a new Bowuigi project of mine today.

How about I give you a preview to get you excited?

Yes, let’s do that.

When Luigi and Bowser find themselves stranded together in the Lost Kingdom, a busted up Odyssey becomes their unlikeliest of saviors. Now reluctant traveling companions doomed to remain marooned without the other’s help, the two gather power moons and embark on a globe-trotting adventure home. However, as they fly and hunt for moons together, bonding all the while, Bowser and Luigi find their reservations and preconceived notions about the other start to wither away, and a fondness instead grows in its place. Will that fondness and what more it might birth stay bound to the confines of a temporary truce or will it become something far stronger and impossible to ignore?

Coming soon to a Tumblr near you:

Super Bowuigi Odyssey!

[forever-will-last]

3, 4, 5, 15, 18

:D Thank you!!!

From this ask game!

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

God, it's hard to pick. Definitely a tie between a thousand pics and one night with me. Both are very near and dear to my heart for different reasons. A thousand pics was what got me back into publishing and really blew up and became a much bigger project than I ever intended, and I still have so many ideas for it. One night is really fun in that it's not only, well, really fun to write smut, but it's also fun to write a fic that takes place in the broad area/state I grew up in! Really cool to get to talk about places I've been a thousand times haha

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

Currently, I technically have four, but only three are actively being worked on. A thousand pics, one night, and a secret third project that I'm writing and then dropping all at once, plus psych ward, which is currently on the backburner and I'm not actively working on.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Very early on in my time with the fandom I had the idea for a rejanis fic with a trans masc/non-binary Janis. I still like the idea, but I just don't have any actual plot to go along with it, so unless I suddenly get struck with inspiration for an actual plot, it'll forever just remain a concept in my brain and a few thousand works in a Google Doc.

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

Depends on the fic! Psych Ward is the outlier because it's the only fic where the chapters have titles, but so far, none of those titles have been song lyrics. They have something to do with the chapter, sometimes a pun, etc, but are usually thought up during the brainstorming process for the chapter itself.

For the rest of my fics, all the titles have been song lyrics! Usually I have a good idea of what the general vibe/plot of the fic is, and I go through my Spotify listening to music I think fits the vibe and searching for lyrics. Sometimes I find it right away, sometimes I end up with a list of lyrics that somewhat fit but not quite, and have to whittle it down. Sometimes fic titles change pretty last minute! I went back and forth on what I wanted one night to be called for a while, but I'm very happy with what I landed on! A thousand pics, on the other hand, I knew right away that I wanted to use a lyric from Golden Dandelions because that song fit the vibe I was going for.

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

GOD a specific line. Um... Okay so I just spent a while trying to narrow it down but it's way too hard so I'll name some concepts instead!

The Build-A-Bear sequence/cute aftermath in one night

The Crunchy Tuna Surprise chapter of Psych Ward

The running joke of the goddamn Kindle in a thousand pics. It makes me laugh every time.

Thanks again for the ask!! I'm gonna send you one but it'll be on anon cause this is a sideblog and for complicated reasons I don't publicly tie my main blog to this lmao

[caffeinatedattorney]

This topic caters to me only but I think Bruce and Harvey would be forever changed by pikmin.

I don't think there the playing video games type but in this ridiculous hypothetical, i want to talk about one of my favorite games. Pikmin.

Pikmin 1, 2 and 4 spoilers ahead.

Sooo, pikmin.

For those not in the know, the game is cute and brutal because you are conducting an army of little plant guys who trust your every order to survive. The first game is all about saving each other. The pikmin need you, the player taking the role of captain olimar, to build ranks and defend themselves from predators bigger than them. While you need the pikmin to help you carry things to fix your old ass ship so you don't die from oxygen poisoning in 30 days.

I tthought I was a tough guy, until I lost my first few. Nothing prepares you for it. it feels like betrayal by the game for making you do this, yourself for not planning that far ahead, and the pikmin for not fighting for their lives. The horror, dear reader, even when you know what to do, stays. The psychic and emotional damage.

Any pikmin game will have you fuck up as part of the gaming loop. You WILL lose pikmin, especially on the first game with those fuck ass controls and glitches. The latter ones have ways to mitigate loss via tighter controls and less glitches for the most part, but you need knowledge and desicion making to survive and accomplish your goals, just like irl I suppose lol.

So this is a children's game.

And imagining that Bruce and harvey played it... I think harvey would thrive in the strategy, cause reaction, pattern memorization. There's two reactions to pikmin loss, either a. You silently mourn them while chanting "idiot, idiot, idiot" while you restart the day. Or you keep on trucking, still feeling like an idiot, but masochistic enough to do as much as you can, and end the day with the loss.

My headcanon between Harvey and Bruce as Autistics is that Harvey is low empathy, high masking while Bruce is high empathy, low masking. I can't justify it, so I won't lol.

Harvey, being a perfectionist, would try to surmount seeing the little guys scream for help and keep going, only to realize he can do better, as a player and as a guide to the creatures. He finds them adorable and it would be unfair to be an ill fitted leader.

But still, they are part of a game. He won't go back in time for one or two. Necessary sacrifice. Fun, but emotionally taxing. He might be getting a headache from planning routes.

Bruce would try to finish the game without any losses. That man lost one pikmin to drowning and didn't touch it for days. The game gave him a headache and he couldn't shake off the guilt of losing the pixelated little guys.

But he has to make it right somehow. He takes his time, running by the time limit, he spends a lot of time looking at the map in the pause screen.

Pikmin 2 wrecks them both lmao. They thought the waterwraith deserves death. Impossible to play around without prior knowledge and serial pikmin killer.

Favorite creatures

Now keep in mind this is hard for me cause I love all the creatures / enemies and find it hard to decide as a baseline lmao.

The joke answer for harvey would be the scorchcake? Cause it's a disk that flips lmao.

But I think him, being an emotional edgelord would like the destruction and trauma the smoky progg easily causes. Rumored to be a mamuta (I'll explain later but it's basically a god-like creature for pikmin.) that didn't grow properly in it's egg so it curses the land and seems focused on destroying pikmin. The tragedy would intrigue him i think. Pictured below.

Smoky progg themselves.

With Bruce's, I think he'd like mamuta and the foolix. The mamuta is benevolent, in a way. He can't kill your pikmin and is supposed to be the creator, a god even, for them. With that said, it is still part of the ecosystem, another creature. Instead of killing, it plants your pikmin and you can get them 'upgraded' to flower mode which makes them faster at everything.

Look at him. So weird, so adorable. Peaceful, a little unnerving.

The goolix is an amoeba thing. Gigantic, single cellular system, doesn't inmediately kill your pikmin unless you fucked up beforehand. Bruce's nerd brain would vibe with it, in my humble opinion.

This cell likes pikmin

And why not Harv? He'd love the grub dogs. Emperor bulblax, and the literal space dog, the ancient sirehound. Obnoxious, strong personalities, won't hesitate to kill your little guys. Just perfect.

Emperor bulblax. He reminds me of my dog. Licks everything, naps all day, will eat ants.

Here is his majesty, mid crime.

And this is the ancient sirehound. He wields all elements, can fly with its ears and has a cool boss fight song.

Ancient sirehound. He (?) doesn't remind me of my dog.

Overall, pikmin has so many creatures. I doubt most people have clearly defined favorites. I do hate the ones that ressemble 6 legged insects. Too close to home i think.

Curse you, CurseyouCurseyoucurseyou-

[interdimensionalsockdrawer]

I’ve been doing this thing in my notebook where I write down my different dynamics with different characters, so I came up with the genius idea to share a few of them

Today I bring to the table: Taranza and Daroach dynamics!

The headcanons are all under the cut:

Both Taranza and Daroach are pretty good friends all around! They’re not the closest friends, of course, but the two generally enjoy the other’s company.

That’s not to say it all started out right as rain, though. Unfortunately, Taranza was initially skeptical when the two first met, seeing Daroach is a thief and all. When the rat himself realized the cause of unease, he told Taranza that he wouldn’t take anything from him. That eased some of the tension, however Taranza still made sure he was on alert in the off chance Daroach did try something funny.

Even though Daroach promised to not rob his friend, he often teases him about it.

“Be careful, young spider. You might just be missing a thing or two from your vault.”

Taranza knows he’s joking. He’s still going to check it later anyways.

Daroach is the one who started coming around first. His usual sly and mysterious nature began to dwindle, overall becoming more lax. In the case of Taranza, the change helped him become more comfortable around the rat. It really starts to settle that there’s truly no bad blood between them and the two of them can just be buddies.

What essentially “sealed the deal” for Taranza fully opening up was the day Daroach brought him a disorganized bouquet of red and green flowers. The display was… not the greatest, admittedly, but that only shines through the fact that Daroach went out of his way to prepare the flowers himself. Taranza was pleased with them, to say the least, and accepted them greatly.

“Err… Magolor told me you liked these.”

“He did, did he? … Eek! A green tulip! Do you mean to present these or poison me?!”

“What-?! These are dangerous to you?”

“Hehe, nope! Not at all! This is just a little karma for all your past teases. I appreciate them, though, really! They’re pretty!”

Daroach heard of Taranza’s story through the grapevine far before he actually met him. Back then, he only gave simple pity, seeing as he was only a mere passerby to the story of blight. After befriending Taranza himself, however, he expresses a deep sympathy for all he’s had to endure. Even if the rat hadn’t known the details, Taranza would sometimes give unaware signs of his inner sadness and turmoil. Daroach isn’t the type to address such things without the other bringing them up first, so instead, the leader of the Squeaks continues to give a positive outlet regardless of what is or isn’t discussed. Taranza, silently, is very appreciative of this.

When the situation is flipped, it becomes aware that Taranza is completely unaware of Daroach’s past. The rat would eventually bring it up on his own, being straight to the point in explaining the events of Squeak Squad and all he was made to endure. Taranza is very sympathetic throughout all of it, and when the inevitable mention of Dark Nebula arises, things start to really get to him. He gets very upset that, yet another dark force, had caused chaos towards his friends. Daroach tried to level with him, and he’d say that all of it, while remaining there forever, doesn’t have to hold them back. The two of them suffered differently from a similar experience, but the two of them are able to come closer to one another through it.

And that’s all I really have for now! They mean just a little bit to me I guess (lie).

[thathalloweengal]

The Power of Yaz (A Thasmin short story)

Getting your house in order should have, in theory at least, been a lot easier after over a dozen regenerations, but it never ever was. The Doctor had just spent an hour meditating and sealing away the darkest aspects of her mind, so hopefully they couldn't influence her next incarnation. She made their mental prison cell look like the White Rabbit Bar on Legion, just so she could try her hand at some 'A Time Lord Victorious, a Dream Lord, and a Valeyard walk into a bar jokes, but despite herself, she couldn't find any of them very funny.

Earlier, she uploaded her thirteenth diary into the Library database, she didn't have the hearts to face River but she hoped that her late wife would get a kick out of reading through her adventures with Graham, Ryan, Dan, and of course, Yaz.

In truth, the Doctor was afraid of seeing River because of just how she felt about Yaz. Not because she was feeling unfaithful or anything, she and River were never monogamous, but instead because the Doctor knew exactly what Melody Pond would tell her. She'd order her to do the one thing the Doctor could never do. The one thing in the universe the Doctor's hearts ached for.

But Earth was safe, her friends were fine. The Daleks were dust, the Cybermen devastated, the Master was gone, for the time being at least. The Doctor should be happy, ecstatic for the conclusion of a life well lived, so why was it that all she could feel was sorrow? The sorrow of a love she wasn't brave enough to act upon. Looking into Yaz's eyes and telling her that she needed to do this on her own was by far the stupidest thing she had said in this life. She needed her Yaz here, with her, telling her everything would be alright. That regeneration was just like a plaster, that they'd pull it off together and then just keep traveling through eternity forever, like nothing had even happened.

The Doctor's hands wouldn't stop pulsing with regeneration energy. Oh well, it was time to pull off the plaster alone.

"I think one of the best things about being us..." announced a familiar Scottish brogue "is that when it comes to the big moments, we're never truly alone"

Out of thin air appeared a person with untamed silver hair and big bushy eyebrows, wearing a punk t-shirt, a hoodie, and a guitar strapped to his back. He looked like such a rockstar.

"Doctor!" Our blonde time traveler gasped

"Doctor" Her immediate predecessor confirmed with a toothy grin

This wasn't right at all, don't get her wrong she was glad to see him but these kinds of meetings between the same person could cause all sorts of disastrous paradoxes, unless... Of course, her brain was dying. Our blonde Doctor was remembering, hallucinating the Scotsman, the person who made such an impact on her life since before she was even created. She remembered sitting in his veins as he talked her through life as the Doctor. Never be cruel, never be cowardly, he told her... Hate is always foolish... He was her absolute favourite. The wisest and the wildest Doctor of recent centuries.

"I'm not on the Edge anymore, am I?" Our blonde Doctor worried, she didn't want to be back there, a moment away from falling into that nothingness

"No" The Scot reassured her "You're going to be moving forward, the Edge is only for echoes, the plan is for you to join the other fourteen or so of us Doctors as we become a part of the next one"

"... I suppose all I have to do is let go"

"You don't have to do it by yourself... Not this time...I came here so you wouldn't have to"

"You drew the short straw?" The blonde Doctor teased to hide her nervousness

"Not at all, I've been following your work... Bit of a fan actually, I really couldn't have done it better myself, well... apart from that Kerblam business, I feel like I could've done that a bit better... But still, you did wonderfully, you brought hope, compassion, and best of all kindness to a universe that really, really  tries its best to harsh all of our vibes... Thumbs up to you, Doctor"

And indeed he did put both of his thumbs up to her, while maintaining a pretty wide distance. Still not a hugger.

"Thank you" was all the blonde Doctor could think to say, she was flattered but unused to accepting compliments, especially from herself

"I'm very welcome" he smiled

She couldn't help but frown at him. This Scottish Doctor, her fav, reminded her that things had to move on. He didn't know Yaz, he had to wait until he was her to meet the fam. In a week, or a month, or even a year from now it would be the same for her. She'd end up meeting someone new, someone who'd make the universe feel like it was uncharted again, like all of the stars that died millions of years ago were reborn, renewed, reimagined... She'd forget about Yaz for a while, put her to the back of her mind so she could lose herself, her pain, her suffering, in those new adventures.

She didn't want to forget about Yaz, she didn't want new adventures without her... She just needed Yaz... Her Yaz. She wasn't ready to say goodbye. Oh Other Hell, now she was crying.

The Scottish Doctor wiped her tears away.

"Take my hand" he said, softly "It's time to go"

She didn't want to... She couldn't, not without seeing Yaz, at least one more time.

"I can't"

"You must... We must... We have to go on"

"No, not without her"

"You can see her again, after you change"

"Not with these eyes I can't"

"The eyes don't matter!" the Scot argued "The mind behind them does"

The blonde Doctor sighed, her head spinning as she finally accepted "I can't do this..."

"Finally!" exclaimed a new but also most certainly old voice "You got there in the end, I never doubted you"

The voice belonged to another Doctor, the one that came before the Scot, the raggedy man in tweed, proudly wearing a bowtie and a fez.

"Oh no, not you" complained the Scottish Doctor "Look I'm trying to secure the future of all of our existences, could you, maybe, just be a pal and go play hide and seek with the Silence for a bit"

"Rude" the bowtied man chastised "And no, because I'm actually filling an important role myself"

"Sheriff of nonsense? Fez police?"

"Well now that you mention it, neither of you are wearing fezes, which is rather disappointing, but no... I'm here to appeal to our current self's heart"

"Which one? Unless you've miscalculated she does have two"

"The centre of her love for her companion" clarified the raggedy man while rolling his eyes

"Hold on..." The blonde Doctor interrupted "You're giving me a splitting headache,  hallucination or no, I never really got used to the whole multi Doctor crisis thingy"

"See" the Scot argued "You're giving her a headache, clear off"

"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you, changed your tune since you were in the driver's seat, eh Doctor? What happened to the man who nearly ended his regeneration cycle at the South Pole?"

"I grew up, I know what's at stake... She needs to do the same"

This clearly outraged the raggedy man, whose youthful face turned a bright red "You really want her to abandon her love! Her Yaz! To just keep moving on forever, never looking back!"

"Funny you saying that, you little twit" the Scot snapped "As I recall you were the one who never took River to Darillium, never even saw her again after Manhattan!"

The raggedy Doctor went quiet for a few moments, fury and sadness battling each other in his eyes, before admitting "It's not that I didn't want to, of course I did, I love River more than I ever thought I could love a person... but I just couldn't forgive myself for Amy and Rory... I started to wish that the Angel had taken us all in the end... We could've had so much more time together but... I was afraid, I was so scared of watching them grow old... I held us back, River and me... I selfishly took those days away from us, and I could never bring myself to face her afterward"

"You would've had to watch them die" the Scot said, coldly

"And that sounds horrible, it does, but in those final moments I could've given them comfort, closure... It would've hurt so, very much but we would've been together... And..." he took a deep breath "Believe it or not, my complete cowardice turned me into you! A Doctor, who would break the web of time itself just to save the life of his best friend! A Doctor that would take an entire planet out of its natural solar system just to extend the definition of a day on Darillium! So tell me, please, because I really have to know, what right have you got to tell our future self that she can't hold back her regeneration to spend more time with her Yaz!"

"She's fatally wounded, you grandstanding numpty, she wouldn't make it another hour in her current body"

"Oh yeah" the Raggedy Numpty laughed "How long did you hold back your regeneration? Back when you were all stroppy and 'Never again!' Eh?"

"... A few weeks, maybe, but I wasn't as badly injured as she is"

"You were worse! Your body physically died at one point, still don't know how we were brought back..."

"I don't want her to give up like I did!" The Scot revealed, at last

"She won't... I promise, Doctor... She is more hopeful than both of us put together, you just have to believe in her"

"... What do you propose?"

"If we teamed up, you and I..." the Raggedy man pleaded "And we held back the regeneration energy with her, she could live for months, maybe even a few years... Love is always wise, that's what you told her before we brought her into this world, Love is always wise"

"She... She could have decades if we bring Sand Shoes in on this" admitted the Scot

"I could text 'Dr. Fantastic' to help too"

"Warry and the illegitimate son of Lord Byron would help in a hearts beat... They love this sappy stuff"

"So..." The Blonde Doctor interrupted, having already inputted the coordinates for Park Hill, Sheffield, ten minutes ago "We doin' this or what?" she smirked

O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Yasmin Khan held her baby niece Aalin in her arms for the very first time. She had only been born eight hours ago and yet she was positively bursting with energy, she hadn't even settled down for a tiny nap. Sonia and Ryan were the exact opposite of their daughter, they looked absolutely shattered but incredibly thankful for Yaz's mum, dad, and Nani for being there for them, helping to bring the baby home, and making sure they were all fed and given as much rest as possible. 

Graham was in the guest room, at that very moment, snoring his head off after being up with the two new parents for thirty hours straight of panic attacks and cries of 'Oh my days'... Sonia wasn't a picnic for Graham either, she 'accidentally' gave him a black eye while he was trying to reassure her. The midwife claimed it was a nervous reflex but Yaz wasn't so sure.

Aalin cried, Yaz soothed her. It had been over a year since the Doctor had left her back on Earth, Yaz still didn't feel right about that, she really wanted to stay with her best friend, be there for them, learn how to properly take care of her, but that was taken out of her hands. At least she was there to help the next Doctor get through his regeneration sickness. Heh, she still remembered the day he showed up on her doorstep, all bouncy and highly strung, scratching his stubble, his hair soaked in fever sweat, just muttering away to himself about sixty years not being long enough and crying about the secret Werewolf Kings of Sweden. He coughed up golden particles of regeneration energy and then passed out in her parents' bed room. After getting her dad to help her carry this new Doctor into the guest room, Yaz made sure that he had plenty of water, and lots of blankets. He was so cold to the touch and he shook terribly with seizures, she held him through the worst of them. She couldn't call for an ambulance, and U.N.I.T. hadn't recovered since the Master's 'Become the Doctor' plan. So Yaz was on her own, caring for her old but new Doctor, and she was good at it. His fever settled and he was starting to ask for food. Yaz was in the middle of making him fish fingers and custard of all things when he snuck out the window and ran back to the TARDIS. 

Yaz worried that it was too soon, that he was running away from her at the cost of his own health. She may have been right. One month later, she met the Doctor after that one, a very stylish young black man, who was full of apologies and loneliness. They went hiking together and camped out underneath the stars, just talking about life, regeneration, old adventures, new ones too, Werewolf Kings of Sweden, Silurians partying in Atlantis. It felt so right, that night, it felt like she had her best friend back.

Yaz never heard from him again afterward. He was busy, of course he was. He was the Doctor, the man who stops the monsters, and the universe was full of those. She understood that, and hey, it wasn't like Yaz was just waiting for him to pick her up. Yaz was only back in Sheffield for Aalin's birth, she had moved to Cardiff in June to sign up with Torchwood down there. The new team headed up by Gwen Cooper and Alice Carter was still finding its feet and they were off to a rough start. The Rift in time and space running through the city had long been sealed but left unchecked for over a decade, its corpse drew in an almost infinite number of even more volatile wormholes to other times, planets and even universes, these wormholes needed to be investigated, the aliens on the other side negotiated with, sometimes fought, and then the wormholes had to be collapsed. It was exhausting work, and the hours were awful but it was vital for the future of humanity, and for their first steps into the big wide universe.

But more important than all of that, there was baby Aalin, gurgling softly to herself in Yaz's lap, blowing bubbles and smiling brightly, bringing Yaz back to the present. Yaz had a life, an actual life on Earth with friends and family, so why couldn't she stop dreaming about a blonde heartache that was no longer in the universe.

"Earth to Yaz?" Ryan teased, before gently observing "It's easy to get lost in her eyes, isn't it?"

Yaz played with her niece's tiny little fingers, her eyes were wide with joy and fascination "Yeah..." Yaz appreciated "They're lovely"

"I believe she gets her eyes from my side of the family" Yaz's Nani chimed in

"Mummy" Najia Khan chided "They're the exact same shade as Ryan's"

"Nonsense, Beti, they're amber just like my Daadaas"

"I thought you said you never met either of your grandfathers" Hakim, Yaz's dad, puzzled

"That's beside the point" Nani Umbreen bristled "I heard all of the stories about him, growing up"

"Stories of amber eyes" Sonia rolled her own "Anyways, her eyes are dark brown, just like her dad's" she leaned into Ryan, delivering a soft kiss to his temple

Yaz couldn't really get used to this. Inane conversations about the eyes of a baby, whose eye colour probably wouldn't even be permanent for months to come. Ugh, she felt like such a downer on this wonderful occasion. She felt so alone. Looking around at her smiling family, her mother had her father, true loves, together and celebrating the birth of their first granddaughter. There was Ryan and Sonia, new loves, over the moon with this adorable little life they brought into the world together. Her Nani kept putting her hands into her pockets to caress the two photos she carried of her lost loves. Even Graham would have Ace to spend this moment with later. Yaz didn't even have a photo of her special person to keep her company at this sweet time. Her special person was exploring infinity without her, fighting SniperBots, or back in time, saving Marie Antoinette from blood thirsty revolutionaries.

Yaz handed baby Aalin back to her Nani, who looked absolutely delighted to get to hold her little, energetic great grandchild again. Yaz needed some fresh air but knew it would be rude to just get up and leave right now. So instead, she let her mind drift to a more peaceful place, as her family yammered on about tiny details.

Yaz let herself daydream about another universe, one where the Master never existed, one where she traveled with her Doctor for a lot longer and never truly left. A place her mind retreated to often, where she felt entirely safe and loved. A place where the ancient alien let herself fall in love with a human from Sheffield, and they made each other happy. Yaz constantly dreamed these dreams about the Doctor, her blonde Doctor. It was her favorite part of any day, whether she was daydreaming while eating her lunch on Ianto's bench outside the tourist information office facade, or night dreaming with her cat, Loaf, curled up next to her. 

Yaz loved exploring what could have been, through the lens of her own mind's eye. She and the Doctor, a life so unlike her own right now. Endless traveling, a loving marriage, three adopted Timely Children. Her and the Doctor growing old with each other, watching their kids grow up and become a new generation of time travelers. She knew it was sad, but it was also incredibly comforting. She didn't want to forget about that mad woman that fell from the stars... That mad woman who almost fell for her... If the most Yaz could have with her now was an imaginary world inside her head, she'd take it, she'd take it in a heartbeat. It kept her Doctor's memory alive and kept Yaz sane.

BING BONG

The doorbell stirred Yaz from her reverie.

"I'll get it!" her father announced

"It better not be another conspiracy theory baby grow" her mother warned

"Don't worry, Habibi, this one has an adorable little plushie spy glass along with it"

Yaz's father went silent when he opened the door, the grin on his face fading fast.

"I, uh..." he glanced anxiously over at Yaz "Look, this isn't a good time" a note of warning aimed at the person in front of him

Yaz's dad never warned anybody. Was someone hassling him? Yaz immediately jumped up at that thought and strode over to the door, ready to deal with whoever it was on the other side, but froze immediately when she saw that the visitor had an impossible face.

"Hi Yaz!" the Doctor, her blonde Doctor smiled "Could I come in for a cuppa or..."

The Doctor's eyes landed on Ryan and Aalin.

"Oh my word, Is that a baby?" the Doctor cooed

Yaz could only nod at the ridiculous question. How was this possible? Her Doctor regenerated, she had met the Doctors that came after her's. Was this Doctor a hologram? Like the one the TARDIS had made? Or maybe even a robot duplicate? She reached out instinctively to touch the Doctor's hand. Flesh, real flesh, warm flesh. The Doctor smiled at her, sending Yaz's stomach into a flip.

"I'm back"

"You're back" Yaz gasped as she embraced the other woman and sobbed into her coat.

"Glad you're alive, Doctor" Ryan smiled

"Well I'm not!" Najia Khan scowled "You have a lot to answer for, young lady, Yaz was beside herself for months, and then you send around those two Doctor friends of yours, Spikey and the Mustache instead of just talking to her yourself!"

Yaz glared daggers at her mother, getting her to stop revealing future knowledge for the moment at least. The Doctor looked so confused.

"Is this the girl that broke your heart, Bheti?" Nani Umbreen asked Yaz

"No, Nani" Yaz tried

"I did" the Doctor admitted, solemnly "I was foolish and cowardly, and I'd understand if Yaz never wanted to see me again"

"Do you love her?"

"Yes"

Yaz felt like she could fall over. The Doctor loved her? She had admitted that she had feelings for her during the whole Sea Devil situation but she was so afraid of falling in love with someone she would outlive. This couldn't be real. Had Yaz fallen asleep? Was she dreaming again? Or was this yet another Master plan to try and catch her off guard. Maybe this Doctor was a clone sent to trap her and hurt her family. Damn it all, this was a conspiracy, one big manipulation that couldn't possibly be reality... Could it?

"Nani, Mum, Dad... Would it be alright if I stepped out for a bit?"

"Take your time, Bheti" her Nani reassured

Ryan was laughing and singing "I knew it, I knew it" in a terrible sing-song voice. Sonia hit him with a pillow because the baby had started crying.

"Need some back up, sis?" Sonia shot a glance at Yaz

"Sonia Sinclair, don't you dare"

In the corridor outside, the Doctor was going on and on about how the TARDIS would only let her land on this date, no sooner because of some major possibility of paradox. Yaz wasn't really listening, she was steps ahead of the Doctor, putting distance between them and her family. Assuming that this Doctor was real was dangerous, and the hope that it gave her was even more so.

"Yaz..." the Doctor whimpered, coming to a halt

Yaz turned to face her, tears in her eyes, she just couldn't stop them.

"I am so sorry" the Doctor reached out for Yaz's hands, and after a moment of hesitation, Yaz let her hold them

"Don't be daft" Yaz deflected, putting on a brave face "It's only been a year, I've been great"

"I haven't" the Doctor confessed "...Though it's only been about ninety minutes for me"

"Lucky" A tear escaped Yaz's eyes, before she finally asked a very important question "So you're still dying?"

The Doctor nodded "But thanks to some friends of mine, not for a long while yet"

"How long?" Yaz dared

"I dunno... I don't want to know anymore... But what I do know, what I'm absolutely sure of now, is that I don't want to be without you... My wonderful Yaz"

"You're not afraid of time running out?"

"Terrified, really, I don't think I'll ever not be... But back when I felt myself burning away and becoming the Master... I died, Yaz, properly died, and my biggest regret in the darkness before I was found, was all those times I had pushed you away... I made myself promise that when I came back, I'd be better, braver... I'd kiss you and ask you to never leave"

"I definitely would've remembered that" Yaz traced a police box onto the back of one of the Doctor's hands "What went wrong?"

"I got scared, and then..." the Doctor held up her still glowing hand as a reminder "I got really scared... And I did what I always do when I'm scared"

"You ran"

"I ran... from my love for you, and I am so sorry Yaz but I do love you, I love you so much and you deserve way better"

Yaz pulled the Doctor over to a wall and snogged her, fiercely. She ran her fingers through the blonde's hair, the Doctor wrapped her arms around Yaz's waist and Yaz pressed firmly up against her, just to make completely sure that this Doctor wasn't a robot. Nope definitely not a robot, too soft, too warm, two hearts to beat against her own lone one. A clone, maybe? The Doctor tasted like the universe. A trillion different amazing sensations excited Yaz's taste buds. Clones couldn't taste like this, could they?

"Nah..." came a voice inside Yaz's mind "Clones taste predominantly like Fnargberry ice cream"

The Doctor's voice was inside Yaz's head.

"Is this too much?" the Doctor worried "I was trying for intimate and... well this is how I was taught to be close to someone"

"More" Yaz begged, needing to feel her Doctor even closer

"Contact" The Doctor grinned, and Yaz fell head first into her best friend's soul

Yaz could see everything. Every single moment of the Doctor's long and contradictory life, from Gallifrey to Sheffield. Every joyful moment, every terrible one. No more. No more secrets between them. Complete and beautiful trust. Yaz knew the name the Time Lords gave the Doctor, she knew about the Timeless Child, and the fob watch buried deep inside the TARDIS. Moreover she knew the exact moment the Doctor fell in love with her, wow that was earlier than she thought.

It was like they were completing each other, there was no Doctor anymore, no Yaz, just an entity made out of pure love.

Near by, someone cleared their throat. Painfully, the Doctor and Yaz separated, their minds reeled in shock and their bodies followed suit, practically jumping away from each other.

Umbreen smiled, she looked embarrassed but satisfied as Yaz placed her hand back inside the Doctor's own, she craved her Doctor's touch, she found that she needed it even more so after that incredible experience.

"I am glad that you two have made it up" Umbreen failed at holding back a smirk "Now Yaz, and I'm sorry, young lady, what was your name?"

"Oh, um" the Doctor stumbled, searching for an alias "Smith, Jane Smith, Sarah Jane Smith, Doctor Sarah Jane Smith"

"I'll just call you 'Doctor'... Now come inside for some cake, meet baby Aalin, she has my grandfather's eyes"

"I'd love to... Wait Aalin? That means Graceful"

"Ryan and Sonia felt that it would be a nice tribute to his nan" Yaz explained, sliding her arm around the Doctor's waist and never wanting to let go of her Timeless Lady ever again

"Well then, Yaz, Umbreen, let's go meet little Aalin Sinclair-Khan"

"Ah only my oldest friends call me Umbreen, dear"

"Well not to brag but I did officiate your wedding"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Lying next to Yasmin Khan in bed was pure bliss. They had an absolutely brilliant day together, enjoying their time with Yaz's family, catching up with Ryan and the cute little baby that had his eyes, waking Graham up with her best Dalek impression 'GRAY-HAM-OH-BRY-AN! YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS!'

The Doctor or Sarah as she was going by now, didn't know just how long she could keep going. Her hands had stopped glowing and she could feel all of her other selves trying their best to keep her together. She supposed that maybe if she didn't receive any further injury, she might have as long as sixty years to spend with Yaz.

Cuddling up next to her love, the Doctor found herself ecstatic to go the long way around. They had another few days in Sheffield together then they'd travel all the way down to Cardiff. The Doctor couldn't wait to see the next generation of Torchwood Wales. Gwen Cooper, Bill Potts, Bill's wife Heather. The Doctor could finally reunite with the two versions of Sam Jones that she resurrected during Big Bang Two.

Yaz has a lovely big flat overlooking the Bay, a nice cozy bed, so she says, enough custard creams to last a lifetime, and even a little kitty cat called Loaf. To the Doctor, that all sounded wonderful, but the thing she was most looking forward to was all the time she would be spending with her Yaz. Who knows what adventures were still waiting for the both of them: Breakfast with the Prince of Wales at the Prince of Wales pub on St. Mary's Street, lunch on the Senedd steps with the elusive owner of Wildthyme's Holiday Inc, dinner on chippy lane with her Torchwood team. Her future, old, new friends.

This wasn't retirement of course, her and Yaz would still travel in the TARDIS, but maybe they could stick local for a bit. Defend the Earth, hang out with the Fam, love each other with no interuptions.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

The Doctor's sonic screwdriver was receiving some sort of distress call. Other Hell... It looked like the Doctor and Yaz were back on the clock again.

The Doctor activated the screwdriver and a small hologram of a raven haired teenager wearing a striped black and white jumper leapt forth from it.

"Susan?" the Doctor gasped

The girl in the hologram was her granddaughter, Susan. It had been so long since the Doctor had seen her, she had searched the war torn nations of the twenty second century and the battlefields of the Last Great Time War, only finding echoes and ghosts, but this Susan wasn't the Susan of the War. This was Susan back when they had first started traveling together.

"I'm sorry!" Susan cried "I linked into the Ship's telepathic circuitry hoping to try and find family, but... I don't know you, do I?"

"Oh no, no, no" the Doctor tried to imitate an old man's voice "You're right on the money, dear child, right on the money"

"Grandfather!"

The Doctor almost twinkled at that exclamation but tried to stay focused "What's wrong, Susan?"

"Grandfather... The... Version of you here, with me, my Doctor, the original" she rambled "He's stressing me out with all of his warnings and protocols and secrecy, I'm not allowed to make friends, I'm pretty sure we have the Hand of Omega on the Ship and he says if we're found we'll be put on trial and have our timelines reversed so neither of us will have existed in the first place... Magister Koschei and Uncle Braxiatel tried to help us but they were attacked before we left, I think they might be dead... I just want to scream... I know he, I mean you left home to save me from the Time Lords but I'm just so frightened, all of the time"

The Doctor had no idea that Susan hurt this much, that she had made Susan's time on the TARDIS so difficult with all of her worries about them being found by their own people. She was just a child, she shouldn't have to live in fear.

"Tell you what, how would you like a stress free month away from old man Scrooge"

"... Would that even be possible? Wouldn't that break the laws of time? You're always saying how we can't change history, not one line, and especially not our own"

"No worries, the laws of time are a little bit more flexible nowadays, and anyway I can always return you to the exact moment you left"

"You've learned how to pilot the Ship?" Susan marveled

"Two thousand years later, I'd say I'm pretty decent at flying her, when she lets me" the Doctor gave a goofy grin "I'll lock onto your signal and be there in a jiffy, alright?"

"Thank you... For understanding, Grandfather"

"You could call me Grandmother, if you like" the Doctor suggested

"I would like that!" Susan beamed "See you soon, Grandmother"

Even as the hologram shut off, the Doctor couldn't wipe the smile off of her face. She was going to spend time with her Granddaughter again! Her little family was slowly taking shape, Yaz, Susan, and soon, Loaf the Cat, Loaf Khan? Loaf Smith-Khan? This was hands down the best day ever! Yaz was going to adore Susan and all of her space memes.

Thinking of Yaz, the Doctor leaned into her love's back, and whispered into her ear.

"Yaz, there's someone I really want you to meet"

"Mmmm" Yaz blinked awake and turned toward the Doctor, a sleepy but content smile on her lips

"Good morning, sleepy head"

"I think it's still night" Yaz yawned

"Two AM doesn't count as morning? That's a bit rubbish, who made that a rule?"

"Ed Sheeran" Yaz wiped the sleep from her eyes "Who are we going to meet at Two AM?"

"Well, to her it's Nineteen Sixty Three, so well before Sheeran"

Yaz lazily kissed along the Doctor's jawline.

"An old friend?"

"Sort of, I mean she is my son's little girl but he was a bit of a bad egg and she ended up traveling with me for ages, so yeah I'd say we were friends"

Yaz's eyebrows raised so far up her head that they disappeared into her long and loose hair. She took a few moments to process, yawned, stretched, and then replied "Yeah, that makes sense"

"Wait, you're not gonna ask any questions" the Doctor was almost offended, she had set that up perfectly for at least seven thousand questions. She loved questions. Zero points to Yaz. No that didn't sit right, well maybe a thousand points for being so Yazzy but still.

"Oh I've got tons" Yaz reassured her while going in for a proper kiss "In fact I think I'll spend my entire life asking them, that okay with you?"

The Doctor beamed, bringing her forehead to rest momentarily against Yaz's own. The Doctor took the time to mentally thank the universe for creating someone as amazing as her girlfriend, she thanked her other selves for giving them this chance, and then finally, slowly, she brought Yaz's lips to hers, savoring every single moment of their love.

"Sounds brilliant"

[nochi-quinn]

legend of vox machina season 2 episode 11: Belly of the Beast OR I said what what

"you came up here to sleep with your daughter" "I feel like I wouldn't have let it get that far??" you didn't know shit, scanlan, you 100% would have

not the flogger having an actual emotional significance

HOLD UP. WAIT. ZOOM AND ENHANCE.

kaylie: >:|

"burt?!"

you've heard of immovable rod get ready for immovable sword

of course scanlan knows how to slip ropes like that

MA'AM

leave him ALONE

"why does your keg say 'for animal consumption only'?" grog's drinking ivermectin

I do like the gold-amber-red gradient on the little fate thread

YOU'D BEST START BELIEVING IN GHOST STORIES

not the campaign 1 death roll

me @ the raven queen:

scanlan looking all despondent :(

like it's an amazing pose/expression, just. :(

the fact that vax really does see scanlan as like a big brother advice-giving type (which is maybe a little bit of liam and sam bleeding through but hey)

thordak: BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY

flashback to mica talking about thordak as a shitty dad

so that's cabal's ruin she's wearing, right? or is she gonna pick that up between now and glintshore

background goliath: "this better be good or I'm killin' something" also me whenever I have to have a conversation first thing in the morning

"please god tell me this is a metaphor"

"we need a good plan" "so…do you have one?" "have one what"

big "it's time for plan b" "do we have a plan b?" "no but it's time for one" energy

keyleth failing six stealth checks in a row

"I put you in this place" technically that was percy

"do not go far from me" HEY. NO. SHUT UP.

this whole thing originally took place post-thordak, after the timeskip when percy had a temple to the raven queen built in whitestone

"this isn't something we have to talk about now. or ever, honestly." mood

"it always matters"

"don't let him get away" I regret to inform you that that is in fact the one thing he will actually do

roommate: is that blood? me: yyyyup roommate, with feeling: gross

"take the plunge" I feel like he maybe wasn't being quite this literal, vax

the coffin pose was not necessary, you dramatic ass

I had to look this up, this is Courtenay Taylor as the Raven Queen, which knocked me 100% for a loop

like. jack masseffect? female soul survivor? in my critical role??

there are six fate threads connected to vax, one for each of the other party members

lays in the floor about it

ngl I did have An Emotion about "all the living share one experience"

I also like the idea that RQ has been scouting vax this whole time, even before the temple

also one of those priestesses was liev'tel and I will not be convinced otherwise

"whose blood is that?!"

and now vax is a born-again

"you…dig…there"

the little "dig" gesture

"he's not very smart, is he?"

interrogating the axe

scanlan really is tryingggggg

it's so hard watching this and knowing where scanlan's character arc ends up and just wanting him to be there Now

(someone on the tag made the point that stream!scanlan played everything as a joke until suddenly demanding to be taken seriously, which was a big cause of everyone's confusion and upset in ep. 85, because he really hadn't earned that kind of pathos. this arc is much more satisfying to watch bc we can see those pieces falling into place in real time, instead of having future events informing them in hindsight.)

they can feel the heat from that fire in the next city

petition for that specific pitch to be removed from everyone's sound libraries forever

passive perception too strong pls nerf

quick someone cast fairy fire

this is going to be an extremely weird sentence but I enjoy what they've done with environmental blood splatter this season

vorugal's ice blasts, umbrasyl's invisible stomps, they're just good

"I found out I'm the champion of the Matron of Ravens" "I found out I'm a father" "…you win"

the little look down at "the other way"

plus vax's face after

DRAGON HADOUKEN

the pupil dilation

"I didn't actually think this would work!" "it really shouldn't have"

"you leave when Scanlan Shorthalt TELLS you to leave"

love that the broom drop fastball special is just their signiature move now

(are there people having the same reaction to finding out Grog and Vex are married that I did to finding out Roy Mustang and Lust are married)

[obviouslyshy]

Words Graveyard Part 1

I've decided to do a little series here on Tumblr, where I post little snippets of what I call my writing 'graveyard', aka all the writing I've decided to cut out of a fic for whatever reason. I kind of thought it would be fun to put them on here for people to read instead of letting them waste away in my google docs, hidden away forever lol.

This one is from my fic on AO3 called Professional Ninjas Make for Disaster Humans, which is a kind of AU romcom story for the pairing KakaObiRin.

“How’s my favorite housewife?” is the way Genma greets him as Kakashi’s walking out of Hokage’s tower, walking up to him and casually slinging an arm around his shoulders. The few people hanging around within earshot freeze, and then scurry away as if just remembering they had something important that needed to be done far away from this spot. 

“How’s your favorite what now,” Kakashi deadpans, looking Genma right in the eye with an unspoken promise for violence. He doesn’t even whip out his Icha Icha book as he lets Genma steer him in the direction he wants to go, which should really clue Genma in on the immense danger he’s about to be in. 

Instead, Genma’s senbon bounces up and down as he smirks at Kakashi. “Housewife,” he repeats with unnecessary emphasis. 

Kakashi narrows his eye at him. “You have three seconds to explain.” 

“Rin and Obito,” his friend says immediately, and all the murderous intent that was building up immediately drains out of Kakashi. Of course this—whatever it is—is Rin and Obito’s fault. 

“What did they do,” Kakashi sighs, finally pulling out his Icha Icha book and bringing it up in front of his face. Without looking up from the pages he takes note of the direction Genma is leading him—the Academy? Strange, but he won’t mention it. He’s more preoccupied with Genma’s housewife comment right now.  

“Nothing much, actually,” Genma says, and snorts when Kakashi raises an eyebrow, making his disbelief clear. His team (including himself) never do anything by halves, and that includes the ridiculous antics they somehow always manage to get up to. 

“Seriously—it was the shinobi gossip vine at work this time. Kurenai and Asuma were at the hospital for a small training accident and Rin was the medic that tended to them, and she was apparently ranting about ‘stupid teammates’ who ‘know how to cook and sew’ and yet ‘still take care of their health about as well as an unsupervised toddler in a kunai store’. So obviously she was talking about you—” Kakashi pouts behind his mask, and Genma laughs at him— “which means that the Hatake Kakashi, who is notorious for always having food pills on him at any given point in time, can not only cook but also sew. 

“So naturally Asuma and Kurenai told Anko, who then told Gai because she was bored and wanted to cause trouble, and then Izumo and Kotetsu overheard Gai’s passionate praises on his rival’s Youthfulness and Skill, and then they told me.” 

“Ugh,” Kakashi groans, unintentionally lowering his book as he slouches forward. “I will never know peace again.”

“Probably not,” Genma agrees, the asshole. At Kakashi’s glare the other man just laughs and ruffles Kakashi’s hair. “Soon enough Sharingan no Kakashi will be no more, and you’ll be called Housewife no Kakashi instead.”

Genma starts cracking up at his own joke, almost bending in half form laughter, and Kakashi steps out from underneath his arm so he doesn’t end up squished as well. He huffs. “That doesn’t even make any sense.” 

“Sure it does,” Genma says, wiping a stray tear from the corner of his eye. 

“I can’t be a housewife—I have a career.”

“You’re a housewife in spirit!” 

“That doesn’t make sense,” Kakashi groans, longsuffering, tipping his head back to look at the sky. It’s not even like he has anything against house-spouses—taking care of a home is difficult work, even more so for a clan spouse, and he has nothing but respect for people who do have the patience and will to do all that work—it’s just that he has a literal career, which he knows Genma knows, so it doesn’t make sense! 

“It makes complete sense.”

“You are bad for my brain cells,” Kakashi tells him simply, and Genma cackles. (He must be in a really good mood—even though Genma can often be found smiling or smirking, it’s rare for him to laugh this much and this loudly, and against his will Kakashi feels his lips tugging up in a smile.)

“That’s fine—Iruka has enough brain cells for the both of us,” Genma says when he calms down, dropping his arm around Kakashi���s shoulders again and nodding his chin at the Academy that’s come into view. Kakashi makes an interested noise in his throat, wondering what Genma’s purpose is for bringing him to Iruka.