#instead i'm MORE in debt and i can't see any way out of it

[the-everqueen]

more bitching in tags

[prettyboykatsuki]

on deaths door | s. gojo

✮ tags ; dark content ahead, afab + gender neutral reader, dark comedy / black comedy, attempts of suicide, the use of the word rapist in text, mentions of self-harm scars, penetration, intense but not rough, gojo is doting, no curses au, ceo!gojo 18+

note: this fic is mostly intended to be a dark comedy and have an unserious nature. it is very absurdist and it makes light of both suicide and assault. please proceed carefully if you find this might be triggering to you.

PLEASE READ THE TAGS BEFORE YOU PROCEED.

✮ wc ; 2.6k

✮ a/n ; i actually really really enjoyed writing this and would love to expand on it potentially. KJSDFJSKD.

reader has been through a lot so they are super nonchalant about everything just as a precaution

"Uwah," A voice startles you from your place on the roof. You gasp, amidst tears and sobs from shock. "Are you about to kill yourself?"

You whip your head around to see who could be beside you at this hour. It's a deliberately obscure location, too so it's extra weird. You were hoping to die in peace in a place where it'd be hard to find you, after all.

But there's a strange man interrupting your plans. Very strange. He's speaking Japanese rather clearly but his hair is a shock of white and his eyes are blues as saphhires. Despite the situation, his voice is light and cheerful - almost amused.

You can't tell if he's just a figment of your imagination. He's so unusual it stuns you out of your tears. You can't find your voice to respond for a moment.

"Yes," You reply, unsure of what else to say. He smiles at you.

"Hm." He looks contemplative. "Well... if you don't want it, can I have it?"

You stare on, confused.

He grins. "Your life, I mean. Can I buy it off you?"

Starting to wonder if you've already died, you stretch your hands up to wipe the tears off of your face just to see if any of it is real. The touch makes it gasp. You're definitely still alive. So, that means this strange man is also real and asking to buy your life.

"What?"

"Oh, don't worry. I'm not a cheapskate or anything, the price will be fair." He walks closer to you from where you've been standing all this time. He grabs you by the collar of your shirt, picking you up and setting you down further away from the ledge with a harsh yank.

Like a kitten whose mother is dragging it by the nape, you fumble onto the rooftop concrete. As soon as you're moved, you drop down to your knees - unable to find anymore strength.

"Are you... trying to traffick me?" Your voice is coarse in your reply as you stare up. It's a genuine question. You aren't sure what else to call this. The strange, unusual man just laughs in your face.

"Mm, well - not really. Though, if you say yes I'll make good use of you in all ways." The last part makes your skin crawl a little. "You were weeping so pitifully when I came up here... super pathetic. I just thought it'd be a waste if you died since I got to see something interesting."

There's something really wrong with this guy, you think. But this is such a common thing in your life, you aren't sure how shocked you should be.

There's also something equally wrong with you, because you're so fucked up - you're considering it. If he paid you enough to cover all of your debts, you could cut ties with all the bullshit your fathers debt has put you through. You could run away. Not there's anywhere for you, even after that. But at least you'd be unshackled from what makes you most miserable.

You don't want your life, but if this guy wants it so bad then...

"...How much will you pay me?"

His eyes light up when you ask this and it unsettles you further. "As much as you want. And you'd have to live with me at my beck and call."

"Like a pet." You reply easily.

Instead of denying it, he snaps his fingers and grins. "Exactly! Or maybe more like a plush toy that I take every where?"

Either way, you're not any kind of human. You're barely human now though with how much you work, so you aren't sure it makes a difference. You stare at him. And he looks back at you with a smile - all pearly white pristine teeth.

Who cares anymore, anyway? Even if he were to mistreat you, you're not sure you'd even feel it. It's all numb. He can have your life if it means you can escape what you're running from.

He looks rich, so maybe.

"Don't worry," He hums, and he reaches over to pat your head while your face is covered in tears. You don't flinch for some reason. "I don't like breaking things I've bought unnecessarily."

Something is wrong with you. Your self preservation is in total fucking tatters. But still, you want to say so you do. Maybe it's the absurdity, or the fact you truly don't have anything to lose. Nothing could make your misfortune any worse.

You sniffle and shake your head. He's dangerous and weird, but at least you could pay off your debts.

"Okay," You say weakly.

His smile gets impossibly wide.

You're wonder if you'll regret your decision.

__

He's filthy rich.

You should've expected that. You did, kinda. Because only rich people would think to do or ask something so absurd like ask to buy another persons life. Still, he had a driver waiting for him downstairs and his car is definitely a sports care. A McLaren, you think. One of the places you catered for ages ago was full of rich people with flashy cars and you remembered some of them.

He sits with you uncomfortably close in the back seat but doesn't speak to you at all during the ride. Not until you arrive at the destination, which is a giant building where the strange man certainly lives.

The driver (named Ichiji) calls the strange man Gojo-sama, which makes you feel extremely on edge. They whisper about something when you're out of ear shot, and Ichiji gives you a sorrowful look that you can't place.

The name Gojo is familiar to you, but you aren't sure where you've heard it.

After taking a long elevator ride to one of the upper floors, you end up in the strange mans condo. When you get there, he tells you take off your shoes and gives you nice slippers.

"Welcome to my humble abode," He says, still frivolous and speaking to you in what feels like a foreign tongue. "And also yours. I'll set you up in the guest room later, but you'll be keeping my bed warm mostly so keep that in mind."

The size of the place is absurd and so is the decor. What have you gotten yourself into? You must've gone insane. You're too afraid to touch anything.

"Am I like... a sex slave?" You ask curiously.

He frowns at you. "You make me sound like some kind of rapist. I guess now that I own you....it might make me one... but you agreed to come here so don't be like that!!" He huffs, childishly.

His response is somewhat incomprehensible to you. He's stranger by the minute and completely tactless - but for some reason, it's hard to distrust him. He doesn't raise any immediate red flags aside from being unusual.

You almost want to say it wouldn't matter if he was, as long as he pays you but decide not too.

"Okay. Do you want me to take my clothes off?" You reply, nonchalant. He stares at you.

"...I know your heads pretty fucked up, but don't you think you're being too blase about all this?"

Your brow furrows. A weird response for a guy who willingly understands this is a less than ethical situation "Would... you prefer I struggle and refuse you? Is that your fetish?"

"No! Well..." You look at him flatly as he thinks on it, almost blushing at the thought. You make a face of disgust "Not in this case, alright! It's just too pitiful and I'm not that type really.... Be more cautious."

"But you were planning to fuck me from the start, right? Or something."

He nods. "Well, yes. As a way to earn your living and for me get my urges out whenever. Finding people to have sex with is a hassle."

You shrug.

"Right. I can cook and clean too. I've done pretty much every job you can think of it,"

He waves a hand at you. "We can discuss it later." He puts a hand in his necktie and pulls on with a small smile. "Right now, I want to test out my new toy so..."

You should feel more disgusted by how he refers to you, but you don't have it in yourself.

"Can I shower first?"

He looks surprised but nods. "Uh-huh. Just wear one of my shirts when you come out. Everything else is in the bathroom. It's upstairs, first door on your left."

You stand to your feet, nodding.

__

It takes you ten minutes to figure out how the shower works.

His shower is nice. The whole place is nice. Nicer than any shithole you've ever lived in. He has a lot of nice bath products, though you aren't sure how you feel about smelling like him since you're borrowing his.

You examine your body a bit in the shower, looking at old scars as you wash and rub yourself clean. Thankfully, you gave yourself a trim downstairs not long ago.

It's embarrassing in retrospect but you've not had much of a choice in the first place. You're sensitive, unsure of the last time you've touched yourself given how much you work. You think of your job and feel guilty for how you're going to miss it. But you recall that you were preparing to die not even two hours ago and feel less bad.

You whimper a little as you finger yourself open under the water - getting wet easier than you thought. You have to lean against the wall, but with enough coaxing you get three fingers in. You're still horny when you shut the water off and step out.

You dry yourself and put on lotion - staring in the mirror. As told you borrow one of his shirts, but it's too big on you and you can see your nipples too clearly which makes you embarrassed.

You reason you're about to go fuck a stranger anyway, and decide to step out right after.

__

You decide against wearing underwear since his shirt fits on you like a dress, but regret when you come back down stairs feeling aware of the breeze on your went cunt.

He's sitting on the couch with his legs spread, dress shirt unbuttoned but still in his clothes. He hears you before he sees you, eyes widening. You suddenly get self-conscious under the weight of his stare.

"Better than I thought," Is his only assessment. Your skin grows hot.

He beckons you over to him and you go, unsure of what to do until he pulls you into his lap. Forcing you to straddle him, he wastes no time in feeling you up. His hands at your waist and chest. His face lights up in pure amusement when he sees you bare underneath.

He stares at your pussy for a long time.

"It's good," He hums, his hands brushing against it. Your nipples pebble in response to the arousal, a pathetic moan leaving your lips that makes him laugh. "Pretty."

You don't have anything to say to that so you keep quiet. Gojo slides his fingers along the seam of your cunt to asses your wetness, surprised surely by how wet it is. Without warning, he plunges a finger in. He looks up at your face, your hand covering your mouth so you don't moan.

"So wet," His voice can't contain his amusement. "What's this?"

"I was," You shiver half-way through as he plunges in another finger and it goes in smoothly. "I p-prepared in the shower and masturbated. I thought you'd just want to stick it in and I didn't want it to hurt.

"Haah," His voice is sharp, suddenly breathy. Something hard and big presses up against your leg. "You're talented in seducing me. I'm not so ungentlemanly, but I'll let it go this time, alright?"

You nod. He uses a sticky hand to unbutton his slacks and push his boxers away. You gasp at the size of his cock. You're not a virgin exactly, but you haven't had sex with anyone this big ever. He chuckles a little, pressing the head of his cock against your stomach and cunt as if measuring it up to you.

More wetness pulses, shame filling you - because you're almost excited to be fucking this strange man you've only met today. Weirdly, you don't feel unsafe around him. Your eyes glass over from lust.

He sticks his fingers in your mouth and you suck automatically, instinctively. His smile is predatory all of a sudden, teeth glimmering.

"So obedient," He says, sharply. "Ah, I have a good eye. It really would've been such a waste."

You're content to throw yourself at him, chasing the pleasure. His fingers taste of salt and skin, making you want something else entirely. It's not long before he pulls away though, wrapping his hand around his shaft and making it shiny. You blink down at where he fists his cock - your spine tingling at the sight.

"Look at you," He mutters, amused. "Do you always get this excited? Is it normal for you to fuck strange men or am I special?"

You shake your head. "It's only been two people."

"Then I am special," He replies. Your breath hitches at the feeling of his cock pressing against your hole - fluttering. "We have good compatibility."

Before you can say a word, you feel his length push inside of you in one swift motion and gasp. It's so big, so impossibly big - and even with how much you stretched, there's a touch of resistance that's making your entire lower half feel like it's jelly. Almost numb from the sensation. Buzzing from adrenaline and want.

You feel full. In your stomach, in your chest - your whole body feel complete. When you manage to open your eyes, you look at Gojo and find yourself taken aback. His hair is pushed back from his hand and he looks... different. He's handsome now that you realize. His face looks...pleased.

You talk before you can think about it.

"Do I feel good?"

He laughs sweetly, before pressing a kiss to your temple that feels to affectionate for people who barely know each other.

"Uh-huh," He says. His hands are strong, tight on your ass as he bucks up into you - causing you to collapse forward. The pleasure makes you shake, sensitivity through the roof. "Feel so good. Hahaha, how lucky."

You cling onto Gojo's shoulder and bury your face into his neck. He doesn't stop you. A large hand comes around the back of your head - the other one at your hips as he thrusts up into you with alarming force and precision. He feels so good it's a little scary, and you can't keep the noises from slipping out. You moan and whine each time the tip rubs against you inside, soft walls barely able to accommodate the size.

Your body feels hot everywhere he touches. It's been so long and Gojo is so careful but so intense. His expensive dress shirt rubs up against your nipples each time he moves. It's so good, so good - makes you want to cry.

"You're so sensitive." He laughs against your shoulder. "Gripping so tight every time I move. Do you want to cum so bad?"

"Yes," The words are a sob. Just a little more.

"Uh-huh. Tell me where to touch you. How should I make you cum."

You're too shamelessly pent up to feel shy anymore. "Touch my c-clit, please, please."

"Got it, got it - don't cry."

Gojo listens to you well. Thick fingers and an angled hand find your clit with ease as he bounces you on his cock with no regard. Your eyes roll back instantly, immediately - as an orgasm washes over your entire body. Back arching, you cum hard around the base of his cock - but Gojo just keeps fucking you through it. He doesn't stop even when you come down, only moves you both so you're laying on the couch on your back.

He kisses you then, and you meet his mouth with sloppy tears running down your face from the pleasure.

"Let's see what your stamina is like, yeah? See if you can keep up with me."

__

He fucks you unconscious.

Essentially. Though you take with enthusiasm even during your exhaustion because the sex is phenomenal - you have no idea when you stop.

You wake up in a bed, and you wake up completely clean. You don't know whose bed, but there's a large figure besides you. Half-asleep and fully exhausted, you feel shy thinking about the fact he probably bathed and dressed you while you were out.

What a strange man, you think - to do that.

He's talking to someone on the phone. You don't really make out much of the words, though you do hear your name in bits and pieces.

"...A college student.......- young then -...... open a bank account for.... - debt...- pay it all off before it becomes annoying.... look into -."

You shift under your blankets half asleep. A hand comes up on top of your head on the pillow, pushing hair from your face.

"Did I wake you?" His expression is hard to read in the dark with your eyes barely open. "Sorry. Almost done. Go back to sleep."

So you do, because you can't find strength to do much else.

The bed is warm, but your sure the heat you feel is from the strong, gentle head petting your head as you rest.

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

a pretty ambitious ask, but let's go:

suppose, you are now in charge of writing a dual story for stephanie brown and helena bertinelli. it can be a mini, a standalone, a comic series, or an entire run. you can use any version of them (as in, any alias or any particular storyline) and it doesn't have to align with the current dc storyline — simply, the floor is all yours. it can have connections to blunt trauma but it's not necessary. you can also revisit any past storylines and rewrite them newly for this dual story.

how would you go about this? what ideas and themes would you like to explore? or would you like to aim for more of a buddy vigilante adventure action thing?

(this is meant to be lighthearted and a roundabout way of me asking what sort of purple power comics you'd like to see more of, heh 💜💜)

Ooooo. It'd be a miniseries (4-6 issues), sort of a sequel to Blunt Trauma. I'm calling it Huntress/Batgirl: Blunt Instruments.

Dustin Nguyen is on pencils. It's set in the Batman: Reborn era. The Birds of Prey are broken up and Bruce is "dead". Stephanie is still established herself as the new, wild-card Batgirl and Helena has been vigilante-style globetrotting with bestie Renee Montoya. They're both feeling a little out of place and little lonely but won't admit it. They're both actually struggling with their complicated feelings over Bruce's death but won't admit it. They're both struggling with the open question of who they will become after this hard reset. Sky's the limit now right? So why doesn't it feel like that?

"Blunt instruments" is gonna be a phrase they've both heard Bruce use to describe them; undisciplined, heavy-handed loose cannons, ill-fit for vigilante work.

I wanna get to the bottom of what kind of heroes Helena and Steph are. What can they do just as well as Batman? (combat, crime-busting know how...) What can they do that Batman can't? (being more human than idea; approachability/intuition with people, viewing Gotham from a socially-concerned lens, lives/work outside batman-ing, faith/spirit, unpredictability...) What really drives them? (Helena as a teacher & Steph as a nurse) What's Gotham mean to them? (as people who live there and breathe the same air, instead of living in an ivory tower) To do this, they're gonna have to reckon with something close to home that raises old sins and old demons.

It's gonna be a mob story, drawn in the style of film noir but more playful. No super-powered threats. The antagonists are the Gotham Mafia, specifically the Inzerillo Crime Family who are primarily involved in racketeering and headed by an old-fashioned, "Mustache Pete" called Boss Enrico. The Inzerillo's secret weapon will be a young woman, Steph's age, who is the Boss's adopted daughter. She's an incredibly gifted assassin with a point to prove. She's desperate to "make her bones" and establish herself in a tyrannical, male-dominated space which ostracises her.

While they'll mostly be beating up male mafioso no-names, I also want Huntress and Batgirl dealing with youths and female spouses getting involved in the rackets; criminal receivers, runners for drugs, racketeering vandals and arsons, or even murders of those who dishonour the Family. I want these "complicit innocents" to have agency, and I want Helena and Steph get that (and get them).

I want them to deal more with the social ramifications of organised crime which Batman stories neglect. Lost kids, broken families, debts, addiction, incarceration, sexual exploitation, over-policing, police brutality... Things you can't just slap "Wayne Foundation" onto as a fix. I wanna show how better equipped these characters are with reckoning with more socially-concerned themes.

I also wanna really draw out their shared antiauthoritarian bent. The authorities, cops, and even Batman (Dick) and Robin will be barriers as they fight, dirty if they have to, to bring down a despot don with far reaching tentacles. What have authority figures ever done for them? They're used to flipping-off authority.

In a sense Batman, as an idea, that gave birth to Huntress and Batgirl/Spoiler and also represented to them a distant, disproving, unpleasable patriarch. Who are Helena and Steph in a world without God Batman? I want the story to be an answer. Batman will always influence who they are but who says they can't be independent and distinct in their own right.

Supporting cast. Their "mothers" will both show up to stir the pot, and by "mothers" I mean Catwoman and Dr. Thompkins. Oracle, and to a smaller degree, Misfit will help out on the case. I want them to come off as part of a (complicated) community, however alone they may feel.

Also, they're both only going to use their signature piercing weapons (crossbow and trick-batarangs) in the final issue, as a kind of we're not blunt instruments after all huh?

We're not getting a happy ending, but they'll come out with a hell of a lot of respect for one another (and hopefully themselves).

[qiu-yan]

Hello, your takes are really cool! You can completely ignore this if it's tedious to expand haha, I'm not all that clear on tumblr etiquette so -

I noticed in one of your posts you said wwx had self worth issues? Can you please expand on that if you can? Imo he's very secure about his worth but things like debts and 'Nah, I Can Deal With this' get in his way. Generally, outside the jiang family I CAN see him putting his life on line for someone else, but wouldn't that be owed to natural kindness and willingness to help rather than any issues he has in his own worth? "Better me than them" not because he thinks he deserves it but because he thinks he can handle it better?

thanks for the message!

when i said that he had self-worth issues, what i had in mind was that one post (can't find it right now) that argued that wei wuxian had sky-high self-confidence and low self-worth. what they meant by that was that, on one hand, wei wuxian is incredibly confident in his ability to accomplish anything he puts his mind to and to weather hardships that would destroy other people; on the other hand, though, he also thinks that it's acceptable that he instead of others weathers said hardships. wei wuxian repeatedly falls upon the explanation of "i'm stronger than other people, i'm more resilient than other people, i was born with a smile on my face and i don't hold grudges" to explain to himself why it is acceptable that various bad things happen to him: why he insisted he wasn't upset after someone stole his first kiss at the phoenix mountain night-hunt; why he said it was better that he instead of mianmian got burned; why his response, when he thought that madame yu was going to cut off his right hand, was to think that he could relearn the sword with his left--and why, i think, he gives his golden core to jiang cheng.

kindness and a natural inclination towards helping others can account for a good chunk of an individual's selfless behavior, but once we reach the point where someone is actively setting themself on fire to protect another person (or, shall we say, digging out their own golden core), then some other psychological motivators have come into the equation. (i find one interesting example of this to be emiya shirou from fate/stay night, whose natural instinct towards helping others is a manifestation of his survivor's guilt from the fuyuki fire).

this is less prominent in wei wuxian's interactions with other characters, since i do think that wei wuxian's moral framework is decently agent-relative - but when it comes to his interactions with the jiang siblings and jiang cheng in particular, wei wuxian's self-worth issues become apparent. due to how he was raised in the jiang household, wei wuxian seems to have internalized the idea that he, compared to jiang cheng, is more disposable. the message wei wuxian overwhelmingly hears from madame yu and also everyone else is that, while jiang cheng is the sect heir and the future of yunmeng jiang, wei wuxian is just the son of an ex-servant. that wei wuxian owes the jiang sect for taking him off the streets and raising him. that, just by being in jiang cheng's life, wei wuxian has already taken so much from him: the happiness of his mother, the approval of his father, the love of his father, the love of his sister, the stability of his home. all of this means that the direction of debt points firmly in one direction: wei wuxian, in his mind, owes the jiang.

this is reinforced by both uncle jiang and madame yu's last words to him: "protect our children." protect jiang cheng and jiang yanli. there was no "protect yourself as well." what a terrible thing to tell a kid, honestly.

but this is also acceptable, because wei wuxian is stronger than jiang cheng. so it's alright that wei wuxian be forced to take on various burdens due to what he owes jiang cheng, because wei wuxian is strong and resilient and can handle those burdens. unlike jiang cheng, who is weak and emotionally fragile and holds grudges so easily, who is so weak he must be protected at all costs, wei wuxian is strong and capable and forgiving enough to weather all hardships, and not even hold a grudge about it. so it's alright! it's okay. wei wuxian can and should shoulder everything.

i think this was the reasoning that went into the golden core transfer: wei wuxian at once loved jiang cheng and didn't want him to suffer, and also felt it was his first and foremost duty to protect jiang cheng above himself, and also felt that he was more disposable than jiang cheng, and also felt so, so guilty about his perceived role in the fall of lotus pier. i think (as i said in the post i think you're referencing) this is also part of why wei wuxian was able to leave lotus pier to protect the wen remnants without fully viewing this decision as him making a sacrifice: from his point of view, since he no longer had his golden core, he could no longer contribute to yunmeng jiang. he could no longer fulfill his purpose/duty/promise to the dead jiang parents of protecting the jiang siblings. if he wasn't useful, then jiang cheng probably didn't even want him around anymore. therefore, it was better that he leave instead of staying to cause more problems.

when it comes to the jiang family, at least, wei wuxian's sky-high self-confidence and abysmal self-worth work together to produce some uniquely unhinged outcomes.

sorry, i think i've gone off-topic. when i said that wei wuxian had self-worth issues in the original post, though, it was in relation to yunmeng jiang and the jiang family specifically, which is why my reply is focused on them. i hope i've answered your question!

[passionateseadruid]

Snake King’s Bride 8

Holiday havoc part 2

Notes:

Warning! This chapter has talk of sensitive topics such as very dubious consent! Read at your own risk!

You felt… numb.

Why did it have to happen this way. Here you were laying in the aftermath of last night, laying in a pool of your own tears. Claw marks littered the headboard. His scent engulfed you. And after everything he’d left you to deal with the aftermath on your own.

"What's the point of any of this? Why don't we just go down to Vegas and fucking elope? He's already ruined my life. He's taken my best friend and family away from me. And now… now he's taken the one thing I had left."

"Ma'am?" A voice came from the open door. It was Styx, they looked concerned, and very very nervous.

"Styx!" You pulled the cover up to your neck. They sighed and walked into the closet and after a few seconds they walked out with a huge robe. They gently sit next to you and pulled the robe around you. "You don't have to." You insisted.

"Please don't make this difficult ma'am."

"You really shouldn't. I'm sure Lucifer doesn't pay you nearly enough to deal with his bullshit." You smiled half joking, at least trying to make yourself feel better.

"He doesn't pay me at all." They mumbled turning towards the door, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"What?"

"It's... complicated. I can't work anywhere else. So in exchange for eternal service he gifts me the comfiest clothes and feeds me the finest foods and keeps a very expensive roof over my head." They explained.

"More like an unpayable debt over your head." You mumbled and scoffed it off.

"His highness has asked that I accompany you to the shopping center today to pick out presents for his party next week. The gift from Mr. Fizzarolli came in last night. I'm a bit confused why it was already wrapped inside but I'll not push it." Styx bowed and lead you into the closet.

"Thanks. Hey do you know who I have to get gifts for? I assume I have to get one for Charlie. Should I get one for Renesme and Nina? Do I get one for you?"

"You have one for Lucifer. You'll need one for Princess Charlie, each of the other 6 deadly sins, you'll probably want one for Mr. Fizzarolli, Miss Bee's boyfriend will not be joining us this year, and the rest of the sins do not have dates for the evening. It should just be you and Mr. Fizzarolli."

"Alright! Let's get going!" You walked out of the closet. You dressed in a black jumper and a dark gray and light gray striped shirt underneath.

Styx took your hand and they grabbed their necklace. A portal opened before you and you two stepped through and into a desolate corner of the mall.

"Wow." You smiled at them excitedly. 

"Yeah um, His- his majesty gave me a magic crystal to teleport around Hell."

"Speaking of Lucifer how long have you been working for him."

"Oh goodness. Since Princess Charlie was young. I was practically the one who raised her. Lilith was to busy singing and flirting and fighting with His Highness. She'd insist that the princess shouldn't be around him because he's self destructive but she wouldn't put in the work to raise her daughter."

"So... speaking of Lilith. She is or was human right?"

"Correct."

"So Charlie is half human. Did she..."

Styx seemed to pick up on what you were trying to ask. "Princess Charlie was a menace during her adolescent years. She threw a box of feminine products at her father. Then she started going out with the son of her fathers former closest friend to spite him. She also went through the emo phase after the two of them broke up." They laughed.

You smiled at them. "It's nice to see you so emotional for once instead of so stoic."

You two walked around the mall trying to find things for your friends (and the other people you were obligated to buy gifts for). First you went to a jewelry store and bought pink and purple ‘hers and hers’ flower necklaces for Renesme and Nina. You may not know them all that well but you do know that the two of them love each other. You ended up getting some rose gold designer sunglasses for Fizz. Nina walked around getting gifts for the other sins for you. You didn't care what Styx got for the Sins. You were more focused on what to get for Pluto and Styx. You decided to play it safe and Pluto a paper $100 gift card to any store in hell. If it’s not clear you’re just giving her a 100 bucks.

"Hey Styx since we're here what would you like."

"Oh! Ma'am, you don't have to get me anything."

"Please? I really want to get you something as a way to thank you for all the nice work you do."

"Ma'am that's… really not necessary." They stared at you as you gave them the puppy dog eyes. "Fine, if you don't mind I'd really like some knitting needles and yarn. I could make you something in return." They smiled.

"Styx…" you put your hands on their shoulders. "I'm not Lucifer. This isn't a transactional thing. Do whatever you want with them but please remember that this is your gift not mine." You gently smiled and took their hand.

////////////////////////////////////////

As the party started and guests started to poor in you smoothed out your dress. It was mainly white but it cinched up in places around the skirt to show of the red petticoat underneath. The bodice was a Queen Anne neckline and there was some red accents on the sleeves.

First to show was unsurprisingly Satan as he was the closest Sin to the pride ring and to the King of Hell in general. Then surprisingly Ozzie and Fizz showed up next. After that Bee dragged Belphy through the door, her legs under Bee’s arms, kinda like sadness and Joy from Inside Out. And then Mammon showed up. And finally Levi made a grand entrance.

"Okay everyone is here, I'm going to go get some food." Before you could listen to Lucifer’s protests you had rushed to the living room where the reception was being held. As you looked through the snack bar you felt someone bump into you someone tall.

"Sorry." Your eyes went wide. There is only one person who'd apologize in hell. You turned around and say Charlie smiling at you. "Hey! I didn't see you in the Foyer. Dad said you ran off to get a snack. Merry Sinsmas." She walked away.

You weren't expecting Charlie to be at the party.

"This is bad." You froze.

"Hm? what do you mean?" Fizz asked. You could hardly understand him with the fudge he was stuffing into his mouth though.

You pulled him away from the living and into the butlers pantry. You let him go and slammed the door to get some privacy and started to rub the anxiety out of your temples.

"Woah! Hey! Look you're cute but I don't swing that way."

"Please for one second could we not joke about this. I'm less than 30 minutes away from dying at the hands of my Naughter." You whisper yelled. Moving from your temples to the crick in your neck. You could feel your pulse beating irregularly.

"What?"

"My Naughter. Because she's Not my Daughter."

"Yet." He shoved the last bit of fudge from his plate into his mouth. "While I'm in here you don't mind if I raid your guys chip stash do you?"

"Go ahead. It's his anyway. I don't care what you do with it." You leaned forward onto one of the bottom cabinets. He stretched his robotic arms up and sifted through the upper cabinets.

"They might not be yours yet but after tonight they probably will be. Tonight is the night that Charlie will finally come to see you as a new parental figure. Either that or she'll straight up kill you for disrespecting her dad." You felt your pulse pick up as sweat dripped down your neck. You wanted to run, wanted to scream, wanted to cry. "Mmh mmh! These are delicious! Sorry, Mammon doesn't let me snack even when I'm off his dime. Ozzie on the other hand practically mother birds food down my throat."

"Have your fill. At least one of the last things I'll see is my friend being truly happy. Doing what he wants to do."

Fizz stopped munching down the chips and looked you in the eyes. "Listen. The little princess might be upset but she's known for being the sweetest most forgiving being in Hell. I'm sure if you just explained to her that he kidnapped you-."

"And kinda forced himself on me." You admitted, cutting Fizz off.

"He did what?" His eyes were like saucers.

"Well… kinda? I mean… it's complicated. We were at a party with my family and then I got mad at him because he was traumatizing my niece and nephews and then I wanted to break off this engagement and I thought maybe I could get away while I was on earth. Then he appeared through my fireplace and was absolutely ready to murder my family so I made a deal with him that if he didn't hurt my family he could do whatever he wanted to me."x

"Firstly, that explains what Ozzie meant when he said something off handedly about you and the king getting frisky. Secondly, Red that's blackmail. There is no black and white to this situation. There is a clear and present danger in your life." He squeezed your shoulders and used his contact name for you.

"Yeah and right now it's name is Charlie Morningstar. She's going to kill me."

"Look everything’s going to be fine. I'll talk to Ozzie after the party about seeing if you can stay with us for a while. I'm here for you, everything is going to be okay." Fizz hugged you. You found yourself falling into his warm embrace, and for the first time in hell… you cried. You wrapped your arms around his skinny body so tight it felt like he was going to pop. You were safe. If only for a moment.

////////////////////////////////////////

"Froggy! Where are you?" A voice called.

"Shit!" Fizz whispered in a sacred tone. "It's Ozzie. Dry your tears and stay in here okay?" Fizz opened the door right as Asmodeus was opening it from the other side. "Hi Oz."

"I thought you already came out of the closet?" Oz teased. "Hey lil hen!" He looked over to you, and took Fizz's hand.

"That's new." You remarked and followed behind them.

"Well female ducks are called Hens." Oz smiled at you.

…

"Oo! Looks like we're just in time for the end of the presents." Oz informed you both. They must've started early because you know that you and Fizz weren't in the pantry for half an hour.

"Aw. A wreath for the hotel! How thoughtful." Charlie smiled at your gift.

"Honey come here I want to hug you once I see what you got me."

"I'm good where I am." You said with a slight tremble in your voice. Charlie frowned and Furrowed her brow.

Lucifer opened the box and his face fell when he saw what it was. "You got me a white dildo, bedazzled with the words go fuck yourself written on it." And Go Fuck Yourself is in all capital letters too.

"Yep." You felt like you were going to pass out.

"That's disgusting." Charlie glared at you.

"To be fair I was going to get him a single sock instead but I couldn’t find anywhere that sold one sock and I didn't want to throw away money and throw away a sock."

"Can you please have a little more class than that? You're going to be the queen of Hell soon."

"Oh yes because if Hell's known for anything it's there upstanding citizens."

"Those are my people!"

"No, they're not! Your people are currently being treated like chew toys for the amusement of the rich. Your people are being abused and unfairly paid, sometimes not even being paid, while you and your father are profiting from their pain. Your people are the Imps and the Hellhound, and all the other Hellborn. Why is it that everyone in this room out ranks me in terms or raw power and/or social status and yet, I'm the only one who has actually done something for the Imps. So I restate what's on this dildo here. Both of you can go FUCK yourselves! After all the pain I’ve been through for the past 4 months, I’ve had enough! Good night and I hope you have a Merry Fucking Sinsmas!"

[ponett]

with the fallout of bandai namco's idiotic "it's up to interpretation" bs, do you think that it's possible to enjoy queer media made in a corporate environment in addition to independent works? is it even worthwhile to attempt making queer media in a corporate environment? i find it special how well the g-witch production team managed to tell the story they wanted even with the challenges and pressures they faced, but i have to admit that independent works like slarpg are always going to more completely tell queer stories. as someone who has resonated with both slarpg and g-witch, i was curious to know your perspective.

i'm probably less cynical about this than a lot of my peers are - not that i can blame anyone for feeling cynical about queer rep from corporate-owned media. (we've been through so many First Ever Gay Disney Characters at this point, and lord knows blizzard loves to tease that another overwatch character might be gay every year or so as a PR move.) unfortunately it's just extremely hard to get something like a full season of an animated series funded and produced independently, so the artists looking to enter these fields and pour their hearts and souls into meaningful queer stories as a full-time job don't have many options

going indie gives you theoretically endless creative freedom to tell your stories without corporate censorship, but it's also a massive gamble. only an extreme minority of indie creatives in any medium are actually able to make a living. the fact that i came out the other side of slarpg's development with enough money that i can keep being a full-time indie instead of being in massive debt makes me one of the lucky ones. and even with my modest success, i sure as hell don't have the money to hire a whole team, which limits the scope of what i can make. so i can't turn my nose up at the queer people writing disney channel cartoons where they can't say the word "gay" out loud. they have health insurance, i don't. for most people, what i do is simply not an option

with the corporate-produced Queer Stories i enjoy, i'm often able to squint and see what the creatives were trying to do, wishing that they could have done more while understanding that they probably had to fight tooth and nail for what's there

in the realm of children's animation in particular, i'm thankful that the people working at these studios ARE fighting for more, because it means that kids today have so many more positive queer stories to relate with. i didn't have a single gay character i felt i could relate to until i read scott pilgrim at age 16 and saw wallace wells. before that, i felt so alone in the world. i denied who i was for years because it felt like there would be no place for me. i didn't know anyone openly gay in real life, growing up in the south, and in fiction gay people either existed as the butt of a joke or not at all. the fact that queer kids are now able to see people like themselves in so many shows means something, even if we still have a long way to go and the big studios continue to be a major obstacle

on the subject of g-witch, i'm honestly unfazed by the statement from bandai-namco. i guess i wish they could've let suletta and miorine kiss, but like... the text of the show is extremely blunt about them being a couple by the end. it's not up for debate. and it's not like a gundam series having a meaningful story in spite of the wishes of the toy-producing overlords is anything new, this is just our latest example

all that being said, i do think people should branch out more and explore more weird indie shit if they want more wholeheartedly, openly queer stories. people gotta suck it up and embrace more outsider art instead of only valuing things with studio-level production values. start looking at ren'py visual novels, rpg maker games, obscure webcomics, zines drawn in sharpie, artists on bandcamp who aren't signed to a label, all that jazz. maybe part of the reason why i'm not more fazed by the state of affairs with corporate-funded fiction is that i'm constantly surrounded by furry artists who are telling their own little gay stories

[dozing-marshmallow]

Heyo! Just asking

Would you mind writing Yandere Noah Vs Yandere Mike from total drama? Thankssss! :>

Hellooo! Thank you so much for this fun request, so happy I was finally able to get this out! Also, I loooove your Radlynn theme, I loved playing the Papa Louie games so much growing up ^v^ enjoy !

YANDERE! NOAH VS YANDERE! MIKE HEADCANONS

Two guys fighting over you? My! How would that turn out?

Well, Noah would try to impress you with his intellect, Mike tried wooing you with his natural sweet personality.

Of course, you never thought these gestures had a bigger meaning than what met the eye.

Typical (Y/N).

A few months after the...season of All Stars aired, Chris wanted to throw a celebration reunion party for both casts before the brand new cast of Pahkitew Island was publicly introduced.

Noah and Mike were two of the many that didn’t want to go, but having the fact they were obliged to attend by their contract megaphoned, they soon put together that if this whole thing was mandatory for everyone, you would definitely be there.

Even if it wasn’t, you were a sweetheart, so you would’ve attended anyway.

Everyone was there alright, around their respective friend groups, and there Mike was, suspiciously having an exorbitant smile on his face for someone who wasn’t accompanied by anyone.

Noah knew the cause all too well, and takes it to confront him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Still a coward, huh?,“Ohh wow, that obvious lie came with that gap in your teeth? Take this as a warning, Mike. Unless you wanna make that gap bigger, back up trying to test your mediocre pick up lines on (Y/N) and you won’t have any more problems than what you already have to deal with.” his finger spiked into the taller male’s chest,“You have no chance with a girl that’s out of your generation, let alone out of your league.”

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong, Noah!" said guy’s attempt at intimidation massively backfiring with Mike putting a hand to his own burning chest,"See, even though I'm Mike first and personalities second, the...feeling (Y/N) gives me is so intense, it's actually taking a better effect on me than the medication my psychiatrist prescribes me!"

How lame.

The high IQ rolls his eyes at Mike’s pathetic attempt at love,"You know your identity disorder soooo well. You of all people should know that's illogical, but I was right. (Y/N) really does have a moron lusting after her."

"Wow! Can't believe you finally got around to realising how dumb you are!"

Noah’s glare deepens in his face as Mike’s smile grew. These conversations were getting boring,"Why don't you go back to nosebleed hair? I'm sure she's missing you terribly bro." Surely that would kick some alarm into him. That desperate friendless girl had to be looking for him.

Strangely, he was still all happy,"Oh! I called things off with Zoey!” Oh. No wonder why he’s not slighted.

Damn your humanity, Zoey. You couldn’t entertain this idiot for another season?

He takes out his hideous handmade accessory,“I took my necklace back, so I can cherish it to (Y/N) instead!" Poor girl.

No way you could love someone that lacked the decency to reserve his affection- I mean, Noah loved you from day one,"Gee even I'm offended you think a second hand thing is the best you can give to my (Y/N). You are so totally rich. Medication funds put you in debt much?"

"Actually, they were free, but you are right about one thing! Not fair to give something someone else had. I'll make her another! Bigger and better! Like my love for her." he kept getting more and more ideas.

Can he afford to keep up?,"Don't go over budget."

"Hah! Seems like you suffer from a memory disorder. Thanks to my win, I never have to worry about budget again!... How many seasons did you win again?" Mike asks, his smirk still the same, but his words this time around were coiled by a pleather of travesty that had forced Noah to face a stinging truth he hated to admit, hissing a response in avoidance.

“Cram it, blockhead.”

Mike was about to blow a comeback, when suddenly your goddess figure graced both of them with your presence, switching their rivalry selves to civil friends.

"Enjoying yourself over here, boys?"

"Oh, totally." Noah waved, that totally being true for once.

"Never been better (Y/N)!" Mike threw you a thumbs up.

“Aw! Great!” you gushed in delight at the two,“It’s so heartwarming to see you guys getting along so well especially since we come from different casts!” You’re...happy. 

You’re happy at them... Them...getting along? Yes... Yes, we do get along! Mike wants to be the one to amplify your joy by encompassing Noah’s neck around his arm, a perfect time to suffocate him, yet so far,“Oh, yeah!” he could feel the malice blaze in Noah’s eyes, but he wouldn’t dare try breaking out his grasp if it meant keeping you happy. It was just as despicable for him,“It’s real nice speaking to the competitors from earlier seasons! You can learn so much.”

The hidden venom irked the trapped male, making it ten times harder to hold back his sly tongue. But you were there... (Y/N), too pure to taste any hate, had rewritten the entire muscle of his jaw. 

“Yeah, what...” for (Y/N), for (Y/N), for (Y/N),“He said. Guy’s more lovable than Owen.” Big fat lie. But you were pleased.

“Aww! Well, I’ll leave you two be. See you later!” even when you had rolled the distance, your words were still as sweet as blood itself.

How caring you are.

Mike makes the immediate move to aggressively shove Noah away from him. 

An awkward silence sits in as the ugly nature of their opposition unravels in the air, Noah being the first to emerge,“You’re still here?”

Mike’s smile finally drops in a confused line,“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Dunno. Thought after seeing for yourself that (Y/N) has zero interest in you, like none whatsoever, you’d get going.” His blood vessels bloated in hatred under his skin.

How come? I’m the one that made our “friendship” more believable to her,“How could I after she gave me that smile?” saying that revived his one.

“Mhmm, that smile was totally for you. Get realistic!” No amount of verity could crush that delusion Mike had, which increasingly agitated Noah,“(Y/N) will never love you. Never.”

“There’s no never in that smile, Noah! The way you cope with denial is really cute!” See? This freak was enjoying it.

Noah sighed. Guess it’s what you have to do when you lose a game of love. Really unfortunate for him, this was very rewarding.

The man with sarcasm for a name turned his back to take one of the knives available from the cutlery table. He slid his finger up and down its shiny blade, remembering all about why he stayed in this meaningless party for this long. His chagrin is cut short.

At the same time, Mike discreetly checks his blazer pocket to ensure he still had his one occupying within. A similar sick with the strings of heart quivers its way onto his reddening lips.

(Y/N)...(Y/N)...

Things were about to get interesting.

[thatboreddrake]

Ruthlessness is Mercy

Alright, so now that I've got my incoherent ravings and memes about Epic: the Musical, the Vengeance Saga out of the way, I have some THOUGHTS about the musical symbolism in this new album! Speaking specifically about Get in the Water.

Because really, this song is a reflection of Ruthlessness, the song in the Ocean Saga where Odysseus faces off against Poseidon for the first time.

These parallels can be seen even from the opening lines of each song. Think about Poseidon's opening in Ruthlessness:

"Odysseus of Ithaca Do you know who I am?"

(Okay, so this is technically the end of Keep Your Friends Closer, but still, it's Poseidon's introduction). But recall Poseidon's behavior and attitude here: he's loud, he's proud, he's bombastic, he's in-your-face. He addresses Odysseus by his name as an intentional callback to when he taunted Polyphemus. Contrast this against the opening line of Get in the Water:

"There you are, coward."

There's a familiarity here that isn't present in Ruthlessness. Of course there is, Odysseus has narrowly evaded Poseidon's wrath once before (twice if you count Storm), and he's had 10 years to stew on that failure. Both of them know what this is about, it's just about putting an end to unfinished business. Poseidon is not proud, he is not overly aggressive. He's much calmer here than he was in Ruthlessness.

This is even reflected in the music. Ruthlessness features a piano playing in triplet and trumpets to accompany Poseidon. The god of waves has come to bring retribution on the one who dared to harm his son. On the other hand, Get in the Water, features a much more synthetic sound, oscillating back and forth. This motif is used a lot in Epic to denote the presence or usage of godly powers (think Calypso's reveal of her nature in Love in Paradise). Furthermore, the piano is much slower, more menacing, more methodical. Poseidon is not acting in a heat of rage. As I said before, he's had a long time to think about this.

Poseidon's choice of words punctuates this point as well. He has a point to make in Ruthlessness. He's not just here to kill Ody and his crew, he's here to explain exactly what it is that they've done and why they deserve to die for it.

"I've gotta make you bleed, I need to see you drown But before you go, I need to make you learn how Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves"

It's not just about the fact that Odysseus got into a fight with Polyphemus. It almost seems that Poseidon couldn't care less about that. After all:

"I mean, you totally could have avoided all this had you just killed my son"

Poseidon's problem is not that Ody hurt his son, those things happen in the world of mythology. No, his issue is that Ody refused to finish the job. Instead of granting Polyphemus a quick death, he instead elects to "spare" him, leaving him to suffer a lifetime of agony to live with his blindness. Poseidon goes on and on about this (it is the main theme of the song after all).

But in Get in the Water? It's all about salvaging Poseidon's reputation and finishing what he started.

"I've got a reputation I've got a name to uphold So I can't go letting you walk or else the world forgets I'm cold"

By this point, Poseidon has killed hundreds of Odysseus's men and subjected him to horrible torment. By any normal metric, the debt has been repaid. Ody didn't kill Polyphemus, so strictly speaking there's no need to kill him necessarily. The lines listed above almost seem to be a callback to this line from Monster:

"Or does he keep us in check So we must respect him And now no one dares to piss him off?"

Anyway, by the time of Get in the Water it's no longer about avenging his son for Poseidon. In fact, Poseidon makes no mention of his son throughout the entire song! Granted, Poseidon threatens Telemachus with the same fate that Odysseus gave to Polyphemus, but this strikes me more as incentive for Odysseus than anything else. This is all about finishing his business with Odysseus, and Poseidon's command to Odysseus reflects this:

"Now get in the water"

Poseidon says this so nonchalantly. He almost sounds as tired of this feud as Odysseus is. In fact, it's not until the second half of the song that Poseidon regains a portion of the fury that he exudes throughout the entirety of Ruthlessness. And this culminates in the same command in both songs:

"Die"

And here's where the parallels get particularly interesting to me. Because both outbursts follow an attempt by Odysseus to assuage Poseidon's wrath. In Ruthlessness, he appeals to his men's relative innocence in the matter:

"Poseidon, we meant no harm We only hurt him to disarm him We took no pleasure in his pain We only wanted to escape"

Here, Poseidon's reaction is a realization that Odysseus has completely misunderstood the very nature of the interaction. He realizes that Odysseus is arguing out of ignorance, and so the reply does nothing to enrage him. He's not having fun with it like he was before, this is just something he has to do. And so:

"Ruthlessness is mercy Die"

Compare this with the same interaction in Get in the Water. Odysseus once again tries to encourage Poseidon to put the past behind them and move on. To forgive and forget.

"We're both hurting from losses So why not leave this here and just go home?"

Here again, Poseidon does not get angry from Odysseus's suggestion. He merely offers a defeated:

"I can't"

Misunderstanding Poseidon's quietude for passivity, Odysseus attempts to press his advantage, insinuating that, even if it seems impossible to Poseidon, it is still possible for him to learn how to forgive Odysseus.

"Maybe you could learn to forgive?"

And here's where Poseidon really snaps. Because for ten years, he's been waiting to kill the man who blinded his son and had the audacity to escape his retribution. Odysseus broke into his son's home, killed his sheep, and stabbed him in the eye. And now he thinks he can get away without getting his due consequences?

"No Ruthlessness is... Mercy upon... Ourselves Die"

In Ruthlessness, "Die" is a statement of fact. It's a sure thing that Odysseus will die, so Poseidon puts very little emotion behind it. It's a command, surely to be obeyed. In Get in the Water, however, "Die" is an exclamation of fury. Poseidon screams it out because, in that moment, he wants nothing more to kill Odysseus.

In Ruthlessness, Poseidon begins in a state of almost glee but ends in a state of resignation. He isn't enjoying it, but still it has to be done. In Get in the Water, however, Poseidon begins with a sense of quiet fury. There's no rage, no wild temper, he's just finally getting to do what he's waited to do for ten years. And yet, he ends with a greater feeling of anger and hatred towards Odysseus than is shown even in Ruthlessness. Because Ody was supposed to have learned his lesson. He was supposed to know better now. And yet he still wants to offer mercy, and expects his foe to do the same.

So yeah.

[smytherines]

You said asks about the silly blorbo so I'm here now ig-

I love your takes on disabled Owen so *grabby hands* please? Spare some headcanons? Thank you kindly

Time to get sad

One thing I think about a lot is that Owen thinks his only value to anyone is how useful he is. His talent at certain things. His deadly accurate aim, his ability to manipulate tiny mechanisms with precise hands. His ability to plan and keep his own emotions in check until the plan is executed. That Owen sees himself as a weapon, a tool, instead of a person.

The Russians pull him out of the rubble, and they do just enough to keep him alive. They keep him in a tiny, cold, sunless room. No painkillers. His wounds starting to fester. His broken bones setting incorrectly. And they interrogate him endlessly. Day after day after day until he has no idea how long he has been there.

At the start he holds onto the hope that Curt will somehow know he's alive. That any second now Curt is going to bust through the door covered in the blood of a dozen Russian guards, and hold him (its been so long since anyone has touched him in a way that didn't inflict pain) and find a way to get him out.

Owen doesn't generally have faith in people, but he has faith in Curt. Curt may have left him in the explosion, but surely what they had meant something to him? Surely he wouldn't give up unless he was absolutely certain Owen was dead. If their roles were reversed, Owen wouldn't stop until he was certain there was no hope. Curt is brash and cocky and reckless, but he's also stubborn and foolishly brave, and he loves Owen. So Owen tells himself to just hold on. Just stay alive until Curt can get to him.

His spine was damaged in the fall, his hip was crushed by falling concrete, so he can't walk. He has extensive nerve damage in his dominant left arm and hand, making it hard to grip cups or utensils or even a pencil. He certainly won't be doing any work with tiny electronic components any time soon. He isn't even sure he has enough hand strength left to squeeze a trigger. His muscles are atrophied and he's frail and he can count his ribs through his skin.

Eventually, Chimera comes to claim him. They make a deal with the Russians and the Russians are thrilled to be rid of the British spy who won't give up his secrets, and requires expensive medical treatment, and keeps nearly dying on them.

Owen is afraid. He's alone. He has no idea how long he has been in this Russian base, no idea how long it has been since he fell. He has finally stopped imagining Curt bursting heroically into his room. He tries his best not to think about Curt at all. Clearly Curt wasn't thinking about him.

Chimera doesn't capture Owen. They don't force him, they don't torture him, they don't brainwash him. They offer him a choice: stay in this cell, disfigured and disabled and in pain until eventually the Russians give up and let him die. Or come work for Chimera.

Owen laughs. He can't even walk. He can barely hold a spoon, nevermind a gun. He has headaches and vertigo and strange emotional outbursts that terrify him. Sometimes he can barely order his thoughts in a way that makes sense. The Chimera representative tells him that Chimera has access to the best scientists in the world, the best doctors, medical technology that is far more advanced than anything the National Health would provide for him. His only real hope of recovery is to join Chimera, let their doctors work on him, and eventually repay his debts through service. He has the opportunity to be useful to someone again.

The Russians have been arguing over letting him die from the moment he arrived. Curt isn't coming for him. Nobody is coming for him.

So Owen accepts Chimera's offer. As they slowly, meticulously work to heal him, breaking and resetting his bones, reconstructing the shattered parts of his spine and hip, using skin grafts to restore function to his dominant hand, he begins to truly believe in Chimera's cause.

The US, the British, the Russians have all been responsible for obscene levels of violence in service of their cause. Owen knows this better than most, he was the one carrying out their orders. Really, what's the difference between their violence and the violence Chimera expects from him?

With MI6 he was disposable. In his relationship he was disposable. But if he works hard enough and is useful enough to Chimera, he can make himself indispensable. Powerful enough that nothing can ever touch him again.

[lazyscience]

so there's something I feel like young leftists are not getting at all when they rail furiously about how "we keep voting for Democrats but they keep just pandering to the right, what are we supposed to DO to get them to change OTHER than not vote for them?"

It has to do with fundamental assumptions about what "governing" is supposed to mean in the modern era, and this is a conversation that has to happen culturally in and around what is happening at the ballot box in a lot larger sense than it is. putting in a readmore because this gonna get long and also ranty.

It also means I'm taking another Tumblr break because I can not, I CAN NOT with the current political discussion any more and even with terms blocked I'm seeing it, and I don't want to spend my evenings alternating between rage and depression, I get enough of that from the news.

This conversation was happening even earlier than this, but the timepoint at which it was first coming to a head and when I became familiar with it was 1994 and Newt Gingrich's "Contract with America". Prior to this point, the ethos on both sides of the aisle (in public) was that in general, a congressperson's job (especially in the House, a little less so in the Senate maybe) was while you were under the umbrella of one of the two parties, you were mostly looking out for the particular agenda of your state and only secondarily working towards a national agenda. And secondary to this idea, most of them agreed on basic principles that gridlock was bad (wouldn't produce anything useful/re-electable for your state), civil service employees and appointees weren't supposed to be blatant political operatives (there were, of course, but that was considered more sleazy and corrupt than "elections have consequences, hurr hurr") and that for the stability of the country, things like the debt ceiling were best mutually avoided.

So for the better part of the 20th century, the Democrats were more the party of regulation, the social safety net and the reality and use of powers on a federal level; the Republicans were the party of "leave these decisions to the individual states" (this is obviously a grotesque oversimplification, people have literally written dozens, probably hundreds, of scholarly books about this shit). And Newt Gingrich, ambitious little shit from an at the time deep red Republican state, said "you know what, we need to embrace a national party and federal control the way the Democrats have--because until then, WE can't control it." So the Contract With America was born - and the goal became instead of "well, whatever, as long as I can weasel out concessions for my state/special interests that hired me" the game ALSO became "demonstrate that federal government doesn't work by MAKING it not work." By using all the procedural stupid dirty tricks that a reactionary old bunch of white dudes that had just been through a war put into place to make any point of settled law that had happened basically as hard to change as fucking possible.

Now, the Democrats couldn't/didn't WANT to play by those rules, because their biggest and most popular successes (qualified, imperfect, but still) - Social Security, Medicaid, the civil rights movement, antitrust, worker protections, environmental protections - are all contingent on a federal government apparatus that actually fucking works. And now that the Republicans can win either by getting what they want OR by yelling "look, this process is clearly broken and doesn't work!", the only way Democrats can make sweeping changes without having to fight tooth and nail every step of the way is to have a majority in both houses of Congress, control the Presidency, and the Supreme Court.

Because again, the reactionary old white men who had just lived through a butt ton of social upheaval wanted to make it hard for one group of (rich white, male enfranchised) people to control another - and they literally at that time could not have envisioned the way the country would grow into both a far more unified AND polarized place that would take these safety rails and exploit them to block every achievement their opponent might make, whether or not it was actually in the best interests of the people they're representing.

(I mean, they should have, political parties and all that toxicity were not new to the British Empire before the colonies even existed, but well, I think we all know by now there's a lot of things they couldn't have imagined. See also: the second amendment)

So here's the deal - if you punish Joe Biden for being a confused corporate-friendly war-hawkish atrocity-enabling weenus - which he totally is sometimes! - you are kneecapping any actually progressive congressional candidates you elect unless you can also deliver 67+ solidly Democrat/Green/whatever the fuck Angus King is votes in the Senate, and 290+ equally staunch Democratic representatives. Because otherwise, that Republican President's just gonna veto everything they legislate that isn't what he wants. And yes, the Senate has to approve any federal judges or Supreme Court justices he wants to appoint - but again, the Republican party sees the federal court system being slow, backed up and impossible to use as a totally acceptable compromise in return for being able to block any significant Democratic legislation from going forward.

Since 1789, do you know how many vetoes have been overridden by supermajority? 109, out of 1,484.

Now, if you could GET that supermajority in the Senate and the House? You could amend the Constitution! You could make mail-in votes mandatory, and/or mandated paid time off for voting. You could mandate ranked-choice voting, so that leftists could vote for the candidate they actually want without splitting up the bloc to the advantage of the fash/fash-adjacent. You could do things like mandate that a Presidential election isn't valid until a minimum threshold number of votes has been achieved that's actual a majority of eligible voters, not just whatever fanatical minority shows up that day, so some asshole who won with 20 percent of eligible voters can't claim to have "a mandate from The People."

BUT WITHOUT THAT SUPERMAJORITY, VOTING TO PUNISH ELECTED OFFICIALS FOR NOT DOING THINGS THEY CANNOT FUCKING DOOOOOO MEANS NOTHING BUT LOSING FOR ALL OF US!

Especially when the other fucking asshole candidate wants to make it legal for the National Guard to LIVE FIRE WITH ACTUAL MILITARY BULLETS ON PROTESTORS, and the Supreme Court has just made it possible for him if elected to order that and have it not be illegal! If he wants to start deporting all Muslim immigrants like he was trying to push for last time he was elected, or round up LGBTQ people and put them in re-education camps, if he gets elected, he could do that now! Because crimes committed as "official acts" are no longer crimes!

So you want to not have to regularly make shitty compromises in the voting booth any more? Great, neither do I. Here are the only ways I see this going forward:

Get 2/3rd of the states of the union to call for an Article V constitutional convention - and be willing to have the process potentially hijacked by fash nutjobs at the state level if those 2/3rds aren't all Democratic-controlled. It's possible - I mean, the system was specifically designed to work that way - but the fact that a) an Article V convention has not successfully been called in the history of the US, and b) the only people advocating for that in the year 2024 are the actual fucking Heritage Foundation of the infamous Project 2025, Ben Shapiro of "but pussy doesn't get wet" fame, Greg "the solution to Uvalde is arming teachers" Abbott and similar nutjobs make me think that's not the safest way to get the outcome we want here.

Hold your noses and get 67 Senators and 290 Representatives elected that are either Democrats or who will reliably caucus with them like Socialists or Greens and have them pass a law to require ranked choice voting for the presidency - there's a chance it'll get a constitutional challenge from the Supreme Court, but there's not a solid precedent either forbidding or encouraging, and by the time it's an issue hopefully we're back in 5/4 liberal court territory if Alito and Thomas either retire or get canned. That will mean a lot of mid corporatist conservative Dems who will make decisions you don't like and don't want to support, but with an endgame of someday getting to stop doing that. This is honestly probably the most achievable, so it is also the one Republicans are fighting against hardest with gerrymandering and voter suppression, and they have banned it on the state level in Florida, Montana, South Dakota, Tennessee and Idaho.

Let Republicans get elected to prove a point. This will result in an unknown but presumably acceptable to you number of deportations, convictions, legal abuse and deaths among people the Trump administration declares undesirable, including Muslims, Palestinians, trans people, anyone working in gender studies or race studies, the unhoused, potential child labor, and people of childbearing potential among others. This is not a threat to get you to fall in line. It is a prediction based on the previous behaviorand stated policy positions of Mr. Trump, the Republican National Convention, and the decision of the Supreme Court allowing his administration to carry out what would otherwise be crimes but for a president are "official actions" now apparently. It will also at the very least make easier the capture of the Supreme Court for another two or three decades during which no effective challenges can be brought for voter suppression, gerrymandering, and violent suppression of protest.

honest question: how, exactly, if it becomes an illegal act to talk about racism, queer liberation or police reform, are you proposing to get your better, more leftist candidates elected? I am so serious right now, why do you think after another four years of Trump provided he doesn't just immediately declare martial law like he already almost did once, do you think people would be willing to stick their necks out to identify themselves as enemies of the state? Think about the stranglehold Joseph McCarthy had on this country from 1947-1957.

[remycroft]

Cross my heart, Hope you die || Heimdall X Reader

Chapter 16 - The Beginning of the End

I was so happy to be back home. So was mother, and when we arrived in Vanaheim there was this sense of calm that made me think for a moment that everything would work out fine. Then I remembered that I have to make a few people pay their debt to me and fight a war. Dagna was happy to be in a new realm. The humidity was uncomfortable for her at first, yet she grew used to it when she had to fight a squadron of Einherjar on the way to the hideout.

We enter the hideout to find Freyr and Fjolnir already waiting. They smile when they see us, and put their hands on their weapons when they see Dagna. I explain who she is, just leaving out the fact she has any loyalty to Heimdall whatsoever. Freyr tries to hug me, but I flinch. This I could not hide from them. "I apologise. I understand. I went through something similar, as you know. Its good to have you back, kid."

"Its good to see you too." I smiled and faced Fjolnir, "How's the injury?"

"Healed. Fortunately, divinity has its perks." I was glad to hear it, "How's your probable deteriorating mental state after being in Asgard?"

"Unfortunately, my divinity can't heal those sorts of injuries. I'm dealing with it, and will be happier when I have Odin's and Loki's heads in my hands."

"I hope that one day I may help you in that feat."

"I would gladly take your assistance. Just not now, mother commands that Loki is not harmed."

He turned towards my mother with the same look of anger he gave her when he saw initially, "Now, why would that be?"

"His father. He's what we need to win this war." He didn't ask any more questions, he'd seen Kratos before. He probably knew his history back in Kratos' home land. Kratos would be an asset, prophecy or no prophecy. "Speaking of, we saw more Einherjar around, what's happening?"

Freyr brings us over to the map of Vanaheim. "They're all over the place, and the ones who aren't sent back to Valhalla run away to Njord's Temple. I think they're planning to finish the job." He sighs and rests his hand on my mother's shoulder, "Thank Ymir, I'm so glad you're here. We might actually stand a chance. Especially since we've been hearing rumours of Heimdall and Forseti coming down." My withering attention at this conversation peaks. Heimdall and I had agreed that we'd kill each other on the battlefield, same with Forseti. I wish I would've had more time to prepare for that battle. 

Freyr turns his head to me, I refuse to meet his gaze. "Lunda told us you were able to take Heimdall on and win in Svartalfheim, do you think you could kill him?"

"Possibly, but I have no desire to unless he gives me no choice. He's the reason I was able to escape Asgard. I won't repay that kindness with violence."

Fjolnir frowns, "Have you no sense of duty to your people? We do not want to kill at all. We want to live in peace, free to be ourselves. Yet, they took that from us and turned our home into a war zone. If I could I would embrace Forseti as mine own blood, instead of strike him down, but I do not have that luxury. You are meant to be the Goddess of Logic, not emotions and betrayal. We need you to end his life." 

He was right. My duty had to be to my family. However fond I was of Heimdall and Forseti didn't matter now, those temporary alliances are at an end. "If I see him in battle, I will face him and I will try to kill him. I can't promise anything. While I have the ability to block his telepathy and have the wind by my side, he is still strong."

Freyr, Fjolnir, and my mother smile, Dagna looks shocked, like she can't comprehend what I have to do. She is a mortal in the end. "No. You can't do this. He saved your life. He was there for you after Loki betrayed you. Please [N], he can't die." She reaches out to me but I flinch and block her, "I - I'm sorry. Please forgive -"

"There is nothing to forgive." I understand her loyalty to Heimdall, he had pulled her out of New Midgard and lifted her up to his world. Yet, I need to make her understand that this had to happen. "Look, Heimdall doesn't threaten your entire race. However, he does threaten mine. Heimdall knew that if we faced each other on the battlefield we would have no choice. I'm sorry Dagna, this is one of the things that can't be avoided. If you want anyone to blame, blame Odin." 

I move to address Fjolnir, "Dagna doesn't know anything of battle and I would prefer it if she lived. Is there anywhere that you can take her to hide until this is done?" 

"Yes." He offers Dagna his hand, "Come on." I watch her as she thinks. Dagna was incredibly intelligent and knew how to survive, but she was a novice in fighting. She takes Fjolnir's hand and she is led off to the cave that Freyr hid in when I first met him. 

The moment their out of sight, I feel this overwhelming sense of gratitude that they left as I hear the sound of hundreds of footsteps, with no heartbeats at all. I turn around to face the direction of the closest of these footsteps and hone in on the sight of a large contingent of Einherjar. "An army is approaching." 

"What?" Freyr asks,

"Hundreds, possibly thousands of Einherjar. I hear no heartbeat though, which means no God."

Freyr immediately starts shouting battle commands to everyone. We were to hide in the trees and pick the army off one by one. 

~

The army floods in quickly, the entire area is filled with the fallen soldiers clad in black armour. They look so confused. Perhaps they think we've evacuated. I draw my bow and loose an arrow at one of the soldiers closest to me. The rest of our group follows suit and the Einherjar receive a heavy rain of our arrows into their skulls. 

Our advantage does not last long as one of them is able to set fire to the tree next to where Birgir was. He jumps down first to escape the inferno. I quickly put my bow on my back and draw Hefnd, then I join the battle. I am glad my blade did not have to wait long to taste the vengeance I desire and deserve. 

~

My mind or heart no longer had a presence here, only my sword and body. I can't remember why I was even worried. We were destroying them, it was like fate was on my side. The two soldiers who guarded my cell may have even tasted my vengeance this day. I didn't really care anymore, I was reveling in this. I had never felt more powerful. The wind pushed the Einherjar back in waves forcing them against the walls of the old camp turned battleground, and I would finish them off with my knives. I could send tornadoes their way, picking them up and then throwing them miles. The only reason why we haven't won yet is because there was thousands of them, and only a small group of us. 

My heart enters the fight when I hear a heartbeat approaching at an incredibly fast speed, and my head follows suit to remind myself of my duty. Heimdall uses his speed to enter the centre of the battle and five soldiers are cut down like he was carving a cake. This was a perfect reminder of why I had to do this. 

I run as fast as I can, cutting through the Einherjar who stand in my way, when I reach him he turns around slowly, "I didn't know you would be so desperate to get yourself killed."

"No, but I am desperate to kill you." He looks horrible, in spite of the fact he looks unchanged to when I last saw him. There was something off about him, something disgusting and wrong. He moved differently, it was inhuman. When I fought him in Asgard he moved with a grace that paired well with his brutality. Now, there was no emotion in the way he fought. It was entirely efficient. It was terrifying. I was no longer completely sure I could do much damage. 

I raise my sword and he sheathes his. "I can't wait to watch that light leave your eyes." He snaps his fingers and sends a bolt of bifrost into my chest knocking me back. I lunge to get close to him but as my sword is about to slice his arm he dodges and I try to move but it was like all my muscles had frozen and were only just starting to thaw. He uses the time he's given himself to go behind me and kick the back of my knee forcing me to the floor. 

I regain control but he grabs my throat and squeezes, "I have waited for this moment for so long. I dreamed of having you in this exact position." He smiles and I feel the same fear I did back in Asgard when ever he was like this, a monster. "Ple -"

"Do not tell me you're about to beg for your life. Oh, I have to hear this."

He loosens his grip and I use the advantage to head butt him, pick up my sword and slice his thigh as I stand. "You might want to draw your sword now. I wouldn't want you to die due to your own arrogance."

"Did your brain rot in that cell? If anyone's dying here today, its you."

"Then shut the fuck up and get on with it." 

"Gladly." he actually listens and draws Hofud, he lunges at me and I block.

~

We've danced this dance so many times it was second nature to me to just block and parry, yet it would not work this time. We've added new steps to our form. I step through into a lunge to strike him in his stomach but he slows time and I end up almost paralysed. He slows time and slices my thighs, my stomach, my arms, then the wind forces him away from me and I heal. No matter the new movements we add, the other will find a way at cancelling it out.

Apart from when we end up with our swords colliding and get stuck in a stalemate. He spins as I attempt to take his head off. I lunge forward but he blocks. Our swords clash and sparks fly. He pushes against Hefnd with all his brute strength and it takes all of mine to keep him from braking my guard. Teeth of bone and gold grind together but eventually, he breaks my guard and my sword falls out of my hand. It was a futile battle yet still one I had hoped to win, alas he has over one hundred years of specialist training, and I have three, with ninety seven of mediocre at best. He knees me in the chest and I keel over. He hesitates as a bright flash of bifrost appears in the sky. I draw one of my knives and  stick it into his knee. He screams in pain. I force myself up and as I do he drives Hofud into my stomach.

He withdraws his sword and uses his speed to get away. I drop to the floor and watch as the Einherjar leave. Did we win? We must have if they've turned tail. But I didn't kill Heimdall, which means there is still a threat to my family's safety. I touch the wound left by Heimdall. I should be able to heal it the same way I saved him in Svartalfheim. I prepare for the pain and try to stick my hand in my chest. I try to heal the wound but it just opens more and I can feel the blood pour out of me. I feel really sleepy. But I couldn't sleep, I had to live. There was so much to do, I had to save my home. Kill Loki, kill Odin, kill Heimdall, kill Thor. I had to live my life as the Goddess of Logic and Accuracy. I force myself to stand. Hofud must have been enchanted by Odin before Heimdall left. My mother taught Odin most of his magic, I need her. 

"Mother." I take a step towards one of the heartbeats , there was so much smoke from the fire. "Mother." I take another step, "Mother." I start to cry, I was in so much pain. I found her standing, bewildered. "Help me."

She looks at me, then looks at my blood covered hand. She takes me in her arms and I'm grateful for the consuming darkness. There was no fear here, and there was no pain. Just peace.

*~*~*

I hope the wound kills her. Although, I should be ready if she ends up surviving it. The curse on my blade was a gift the All - father had bestowed on me before I left. It would be difficult for Frigg to break and hopefully by that time she would be dead.

This mission was going incredibly well. I would kill her, eliminating the largest threat. In the same day, I capture Freyr and the light elf, giving me bait for the rebellion, and when they come for them we kill them too. Once that's done we hunt down any remaining Vanir that are too cowardly to fight. Easy peasy. After that, I can go home and get out of this disgusting realm. 

And, while I wait for them to come, I get to play with my new toys to squash the doubt about the little witch surviving. 

[impromptu-sketches]

Jinx manhwa season 2 thoughts & predictions (after reading chapter 54)

---

(spoilers ahead)

First, I'm dying to see Jaekyung's backstory and it better be good (and by good I mean bad) to have made him this way. Clearly he has zero family in his life. He doesn't even have any friends. The only people he has is his coach, the guys at the gym (not many anymore since most of them left at the end of season 1), Kim Dan (and before Kim Dan it was his latest boytoy which was only a tool for his jinx), and Heesung if you can count him as a friend :/ (and now his new PT?)

We've only seen him without Kim Dan for one chapter now (ch. 54) and it's the clearest it's ever been how lonely his life is. So I'm expecting a backstory that'll explain how he ended up this way. I agree with others when they say that Jaekyung grew up poor because of boxing being a 'poor man's sport' and that he seems to despise people who care about material possessions and money (Heesung, people giving him gifts on his birthday, Kim Dan asking for more money in the beginning of the series). I think there may be some reason for this specifically. Also, he says that he only bought his apartment because of the pool, so that explains the penthouse. He does own a lot of expensive brands and things that Kim Dan notices when wanting to buy him a gift, but I think this is just Jaekyung wanting good quality. Things that go against this idea are his cars haha but maybe we'll see an explanation for this.

His jinx and how it started. There have been a lot of parallels so far to BJ Alex, and in that story we see Alex was the way that he was because of his parents general lack of love and his first love being an asshole and breaking his heart (simply put). I don't think Jaekyung had a past love because he said he'd never even dated before? So instead I think the jinx will tie in to severe childhood/early adolescent bullying - whether it started because he was poor or weak or both. And I think this is where we're going to see his last opponent Baek Junmin. We'll have to see how exactly it started, it might be as simple as he started to notice he did better the day after sleeping with someone and by continuing to dominate someone in the bedroom he was able to mentally overcome his feelings of weakness and gain the confidence to win. It allowed him to take some control back in his life. Or, sleeping with someone gave him some form of comfort and that's what made him feel better before the fight.

The biggest mystery for me is his parents. I've heard others predict that he grew up in an orphanage and that's plausible. I'm really not sure what the story is with his parents, but I don't think it'll be a huge part of his backstory compared to the bullying.

I've heard some people wondering if he was part of the underground fighting they mentioned in season 1 and that doesn't feel like Jaekyung to me... unless it was very early on and he had no choice.

TLDR - Overall, I think it'll be a pretty simple backstory like he was bullied as a kid because he was poor & weak, he felt that his only choice was to pick up mixed martial arts to get stronger and be able to stand up for himself and be able to fight back, he found success but at the cost of having a jinx.

Questions I have going into season 2:

Jaekyung's family / parents / how he grew up / how he got into MMA fighting

How and when did his jinx start?

When did his insomnia start and is it connected to his trauma?

How did Heesung find out about his Jinx?

How will Jaekyung and Kim Dan interact again for the first time since he left?

Will Jaekyung forgive Kim Dan's debt? Will he use the debt to see him again?

Why is Jaekyung so angry and have the mentality that he can't lose?

Did the grandma pass away in the month time skip? :(

Where is Kim Dan and is he okay??

[snickerdoodlles]

📓 :3

:D!

@mortimerlatrice got me thinking about a KimChay Chrestomanci AU, so more of that.

the Chrestomanci series, sidenote, is an absolutely delightful fantasy series by Diana Wynne Jones. it's composed of mostly independent stories set in a universe of 12 parallel universes (called Series), each with their own string of worlds (except Series 11). generally speaking, every person has eight identical copies borne into other series than their own, but very occasionally all nine lives will be borne into one person. this nine-life enchanter has all the power of nine magical people in them and is therefore the only person powerful enough to fill the role of Chrestomanci to regulate magical use and prevent any abuse of it across the 12 series.

which cool, very fun story premise actually, but not what I care about here. I'm setting kp in one of the series that doesn't deal much with magic because I don't care about magic meet mafia, I care about Chay having nine lives and all the ways that could make things worse.

(cw: non-permanent but slightly graphic character death under the cut. ft a dash of actual character death, but that only applies to Tawan.)

Chay doesn't have all his lives when canon starts. he lost his first one the same day he and Porsche lost their parents when he fell out of his crib trying to investigate the noise. he lost his second to food poisoning, before Porsche started working for extra food money and they had to make every scrap stretch. he lost another when a debt collector hit him too hard and snapped his neck. (Porsche wasn't home for that day. Chay told him he wasn't either.)

Chay loses his fourth life in the warehouse. it actually wasn't intentional on anyone's part -- Tawan's hired meat weren't careful enough bringing him in, and Chay's luck has his head hit a curb or scrap metal at just the right (or wrong, as it were) angle to kill him instead of concuss him, and head injuries take so long to come back from. Tawan drags out the charade because he wants Porsche desperate, not angry, and Porsche is in too deep of denial to accept the possibility of Chay actually being dead not to fall for it.

Kim arrives before Chay comes back to life. it's...bad. Porsche is screaming for him to get Chay out. Kim first checks Chay's breathing. failing to find that, he frantically (but carefully!) hauls Chay upright. that's when Chay's head flops limply to the side and reveals the dried blood down the back of his neck, which Kim had already felt grabbing but refused to process.

Kim sees red.

Tawan knifes Big. Porsche's shouts break through the fog threatening to overwhelm Kim. then Tawan gets one very distraught, very angry, very murderous Kim materializing in front of him and going right for his eyes. it doesn't matter that Tawan's the one with a weapon, he could've had an armory and that couldn't have helped him. Kim is very, very, very good at fighting, and he's on a mission to hurt. but he's also missing his control, and kicks Tawan in the kidney so hard Tawan stumbles back into a pile of scrap and, in true irony, jostles it hard enough the end of steel beam falls on his head. as discovered earlier, metal and concrete are not kind to heads, and bullet proof vests certainly can't protect from that.

it's too quick and too kind, and Kim stares at him disbelievingly, half a mind to drag Tawan out and beat out the little life he's surely still clinging to, when Chay groans. Kim first thinks he hallucinated it, but then he sees Chay move and he's so relieved he was wrong that he shoves everything else out of his mind and just gets Chay out. then everything and one trailing shouty Porsche slams back into him the minute Chay's out of his arms and with the paramedics that Kim bolts to go hide in a dark corner in his apartment and fail to process any of it.

Chay misses all of this btws. He was dead, then he was back with a headache, and he loves Porsche but he needs Porsche to please shut the fuck up and get him some tylenol.

then apartment confrontation, where Kim says I'm sorry and shoves off even quicker because all he can remember are those moments when he'd been so sure Chay was properly dead. club scene goes down even worse when Kim yells at Chay for making stupid reckless choices that could get him killed, and Chay demands to know why Kim even cares, and Kim goes pale with anger that Chay doesn't care that he (only nearly, surely) died, and it's all very terrible and ends in them storming away from each other.

then comes Yok's bar.

Chay dies. Kim had taunted them into a direct fight inside instead of picking them off outside, and it should have been fine, would have been fine, had Chay not had a bit more awareness and looked over to see Kim pinned between two guys and rushed to help only to get shot by one of the goons on the other end of the bar. he bleeds out while Kim kills off the rest.

Chay comes back to a bar full of bodies and Kim (clutching) cradling him. Kim isn't crying. he isn't really doing much of anything other than clinging and staring off into nothing with a thoroughly haunted expression.

Chay blinks and tentatively lays his fingers against Kim's cheek. "Kim?"

Kim's eyes snap to him, but still don't quite see him. he stays looking blank for a few seconds that feel like hours before saying matter-of-factly, "I've snapped."

"Kim!" Chay protests, distressed.

"It's okay," Kim says, still matter-of-fact but smiling tenderly, "better to be mad with you than without."

it takes a while to convince Kim he's not insane and that Chay's really back. Chay's not certain he fully manages it. but his death also shook loose a lot of confessions Kim normally couldn't say out loud. ("why--" Chay starts, voice cracking, "why did you say 'I'm sorry' that day?" / "You were supposed to be safe," Kim replies hoarsely, mad smile slipping for tears.) there's more clutching and clinging, this time by Chay too. both of them manage to forget they're in a bar of dead bodies until Porsche and Kinn come crashing through the door.

"Chay!" Porsche yells when he first sees him.

"Chay," Porsche pleads brokenly when he sees Chay's blood soaked shirt.

"Not mine!" Chay says quickly, and would've been given away by how fast Kim's head snaps around in any other circumstance. "See?" he says, raising his shirt to show unblemished skin, "No injury."

this does a lot to reassure Porsche, but Chay can tell Kim still thinks he's a little bit insane. Chay decides that's fine for now, because dying takes a lot out of you and apparently everyone around you too and it's unfair to expect Kim to just bounce back from him bleeding out on him, he'll work on it after a shower and dinner.

I'm not writing this AU because I only really have these two vague scenes in my head, but Chay having multiple lives making his existence in the mafia hurt more than canon's calls to me, it really does.

oh, also: in the AU source material, one of the nine-lifers has one of his lives removed and stored into a ring for safekeeping. he later gives this ring to his to-be-wife as her wedding ring. I'm not sure yet how to work that into this AU because Chay's contact with magic and other magicals would be slim to none in this, but please picture how this would absolutely wreck Kim, because there's nothing Kim wants more than to safeguard Chay but as far as he's concerned, he's already failed Chay in that regard twice. 😈

[[ ask me about fics im not writing ]]

[roguemonsterfucker]

I was finally getting some of my finances in order when disaster struck two weeks ago and my cockatiel Lui needed a trip to the vet, where she had to get x-rays and medication. She's doing great now, but my bank isn't.

I had planned out the next few months to have vet appointments for my other cockatiels, to get their yearly check ups but also to get hormonal implants that would prevent them from attempting to make any babies. These implants would prevent my adult female, Lovey, from laying eggs (and she has gotten this implant before) and in theory help with some hormonal behaviors from the males (we haven't done it for them before). The appointments and the implants are pricey, but I had figured I could afford to take one, maybe two, each month for the next few months in order to not get in the red in my finances.

That didn't work out, because of Lui's injury. I'm two months behind now. So either I have to go deeper into the red to get the other birds their vet appointments as previously planned or I have to wait longer.

If anyone wants to help me out, you can see this post or read below.

Because of my complicated financial situation, I can't receive money directly.

In the post linked above, I list several ways people could help me buy food for my pets, but it contains a little outdated info. Because of a recent rabbit death, I won't be going through hay nearly as fast and so the best way to help me out would be either to buy bird food through Throne or to buy Amazon gift cards, as I can buy the bird food through there.

I've said before that I and my animals will be okay without help, and that's true. But I am digging myself into some debt to provide for my animals, as my family's support is waning. They still help where they can, but their finances aren't much better than mine right now.

If you want to buy Amazon gift cards for me, they can be sent to this email address:

unknownmonsterhunter@gmail.com

There are people more in need than myself and my animals. If you prefer to provide financial support for them instead, I fully understand. I only wished to provide the option just in case anyone wanted to help me out.

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

I just got an Another Sagau!Idea-

So you know the latest Archon Quest regarding about Khean'riah (or however you spell it), Caribert?

Yeah, so slight spoilers:

What if the Reader, before they lost their memories of being the Creator and all that, met the Traveler's sibling while they were meeting Eide, Caribert, and Chlotar Alberich? Let me explain:

The Reader's presence is special. → I based this fact from the way the Traveler's presence was enough to lessen Xiao's karmic debt. What if the Reader's presence does the same thing to the hilichurl's curse, but by a somewhat larger scale? Just having the Reader present is all that is needed to have the medicine work faster than it did before.

I also think Reader wouldn't reveal themselves as the Creator, instead taking up a disguise when they meet the Abyss Twin and Eide.

The Reader Might Be Eide's better Choice to Ask For a Blessing? → Allow me to elaborate. So, as we all know, most, if not all, kheanrians are atheists or just don't have much faith in gods in general. The Creator is a little different here—the Creator's presence is more of a feeling of safety, a feeling that they have some sort of familiar bond of sorts between the two.

I would think that Eide was see the Creator, aka Reader, as a being far greater than the Dendro Archon, a being with more power. This may have him beg for the Creator's blessing in the end instead of the Dendro Archon. The only problem? We know what the strange mushroom is made out of—the fertilizer to grow it is legit dead humans. I would honestly think the Creator is against this idea, which thus leads to the Reader denying his prayers. Eide may then be forced to beg to the Dendro Archon because of this.

I would honestly imagine that the Creator gives blessings more than most gods, even if they are just small miracles. Reader has balanced the consequences of giving the blessing to Eide, which leads them to refuse to accept his request. However, I think the Reader would change their mind, hoping that if they allowed Caribert to gain consciousness would stop Eide from killing more humans to make fertilizer—

The Reader Could Be Against Chlotar Alberich, Founder of the Abyss Order. → I'm mainly basing this idea off of the beginning of the game. To this, I'm referring to the intro cutscene, where we have to choose a sibling to be the Traveler. I would think the Reader shares a similar mindset to the Traveler—they do not believe what happened to the people of Khean'riah was deserved, but they are against joining the Abyss Order to cause harm to other nations.

I personally believe that Reader would be unhappy that Chlotar has started the Abyss Order to kill of the rest of their precious world. I can't really see the Reader agreeing with killing their own creation, instead trying to convince the Abyss Twin to not join him.

The Reader does not like this "new god" that's being created. → As you may know, human-made gods aren't exactly amazing. Scaramouche is a slight example of that. The Sages tried to create a god from human knowledge, and, in result, Scaramouche became a fake god. But, as you know, his power wasn't exactly as strong as a real god's power would be.

Reader does not like the fact that the Abyss/Abyss Order would go this far to making a god to get rid of the curse befalling on all hilichurls. To them, I would think it's some sort of severe risk. They are highly suspicious of this "god" and would rather find out its true intentions in other methods than cooperate with them. The Creator may be lenient on their creations, but they have to draw lines against them, unfortunately.

Alright, that's all I got for today! I'm sorry if it's a little confusing lol- I didn't fully understand the Archon Quest. See you around :)

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: I have honestly no idea how this idea emerged into my head lol- but I'm glad it did! Sorry for any grammar mistakes too btw—I don't exactly proofread before I post things.

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[zeivira]

Also I know you said that Wilhelm probably wouldn’t be as close with Subaru due to Heinkel’s presence, but I’d like to think that he still thinks very fondly of Subaru as the one who made the fight against the Whale possible. Perhaps he decides to work to save his life as a form of repaying the debt? (Even while Subaru insists that he’s fine, please—)

I still personally really adore the idea of Subaru falling asleep right after the fight against he Whale because it was exhausting and scaring the crap out of Wilhelm and also the entire army. I know that technically doesn’t fit with the idea of Heinkel having sought him out due to rumors of his condition, but it’s such a funny alternative scene— or maybe Heinkel only found out because he’s like a bloodhound for information on Sleeping Diseases idk—

Absolutely!! Subaru and him interact less but he still 100% cares about Subaru and would try to save him!! The only thing all three Astrea have in common is that they all want to save Subaru lmao.

…yes, all three, because although Heinkel is only onboard to save Louanna, I imagine he would end up working with the Emilia Camp instead of the Priscilla Camp here (Emilia can also help him get the Dragon’s Blood after all?) and Subaru is a bit like fungus, grows on you after a while. 

In canon, he kinda sees Schult as the “son he never had” so in this case, he sees Subaru as that L M A O. Or maybe his pet rat. That’s also accurate. Poor Rein either way.

As Subaru is “ill” I imagine most people (including Wilhelm!) would insist Subaru shouldn't be present during the whale fight. OFC Subaru is not skipping that, so he would go either way. And Subaru also doesn’t like looking weak, so i 100% imagine he would try to sleep a little *before* the whale hunt so as to not give them any other reason to call him that. 

Of course, this would be the exact moment in which Wilhelm and Crusch go fetch him to talk about some Classified Information… Wilhelm would be uncomfortable af at seeing him sleeping peacefully, Crusch would be having war trauma (Fourier!) and Heinkel would be scoffing and muttering something like: “You dipshits, he is sleeping, not dead.” while sitting next to Subaru’s bed.

(About your other Ask i havent replied to yet— You do raise a good point OP. Reinhard's scene WAS a good scene...OKAY... won't write it rn because I have an important deadline soon and I really can't write when stressed, not even short scenes, but I shall try writing it later (in two weeks or so?) when I have more free time (I'm starting a new job :D). If i do manage to write something interesting I shall post it as a reply to your other ask instead of in Ao3 though! Will be tagging all No Rest for The Wicked stuff under that tag now so you can find the ask easily when i post. No idea how anon asks work lmao)