#government officials: uHM?!

[snickerdoodlles]

📓 :3

:D!

@mortimerlatrice got me thinking about a KimChay Chrestomanci AU, so more of that.

the Chrestomanci series, sidenote, is an absolutely delightful fantasy series by Diana Wynne Jones. it's composed of mostly independent stories set in a universe of 12 parallel universes (called Series), each with their own string of worlds (except Series 11). generally speaking, every person has eight identical copies borne into other series than their own, but very occasionally all nine lives will be borne into one person. this nine-life enchanter has all the power of nine magical people in them and is therefore the only person powerful enough to fill the role of Chrestomanci to regulate magical use and prevent any abuse of it across the 12 series.

which cool, very fun story premise actually, but not what I care about here. I'm setting kp in one of the series that doesn't deal much with magic because I don't care about magic meet mafia, I care about Chay having nine lives and all the ways that could make things worse.

(cw: non-permanent but slightly graphic character death under the cut. ft a dash of actual character death, but that only applies to Tawan.)

Chay doesn't have all his lives when canon starts. he lost his first one the same day he and Porsche lost their parents when he fell out of his crib trying to investigate the noise. he lost his second to food poisoning, before Porsche started working for extra food money and they had to make every scrap stretch. he lost another when a debt collector hit him too hard and snapped his neck. (Porsche wasn't home for that day. Chay told him he wasn't either.)

Chay loses his fourth life in the warehouse. it actually wasn't intentional on anyone's part -- Tawan's hired meat weren't careful enough bringing him in, and Chay's luck has his head hit a curb or scrap metal at just the right (or wrong, as it were) angle to kill him instead of concuss him, and head injuries take so long to come back from. Tawan drags out the charade because he wants Porsche desperate, not angry, and Porsche is in too deep of denial to accept the possibility of Chay actually being dead not to fall for it.

Kim arrives before Chay comes back to life. it's...bad. Porsche is screaming for him to get Chay out. Kim first checks Chay's breathing. failing to find that, he frantically (but carefully!) hauls Chay upright. that's when Chay's head flops limply to the side and reveals the dried blood down the back of his neck, which Kim had already felt grabbing but refused to process.

Kim sees red.

Tawan knifes Big. Porsche's shouts break through the fog threatening to overwhelm Kim. then Tawan gets one very distraught, very angry, very murderous Kim materializing in front of him and going right for his eyes. it doesn't matter that Tawan's the one with a weapon, he could've had an armory and that couldn't have helped him. Kim is very, very, very good at fighting, and he's on a mission to hurt. but he's also missing his control, and kicks Tawan in the kidney so hard Tawan stumbles back into a pile of scrap and, in true irony, jostles it hard enough the end of steel beam falls on his head. as discovered earlier, metal and concrete are not kind to heads, and bullet proof vests certainly can't protect from that.

it's too quick and too kind, and Kim stares at him disbelievingly, half a mind to drag Tawan out and beat out the little life he's surely still clinging to, when Chay groans. Kim first thinks he hallucinated it, but then he sees Chay move and he's so relieved he was wrong that he shoves everything else out of his mind and just gets Chay out. then everything and one trailing shouty Porsche slams back into him the minute Chay's out of his arms and with the paramedics that Kim bolts to go hide in a dark corner in his apartment and fail to process any of it.

Chay misses all of this btws. He was dead, then he was back with a headache, and he loves Porsche but he needs Porsche to please shut the fuck up and get him some tylenol.

then apartment confrontation, where Kim says I'm sorry and shoves off even quicker because all he can remember are those moments when he'd been so sure Chay was properly dead. club scene goes down even worse when Kim yells at Chay for making stupid reckless choices that could get him killed, and Chay demands to know why Kim even cares, and Kim goes pale with anger that Chay doesn't care that he (only nearly, surely) died, and it's all very terrible and ends in them storming away from each other.

then comes Yok's bar.

Chay dies. Kim had taunted them into a direct fight inside instead of picking them off outside, and it should have been fine, would have been fine, had Chay not had a bit more awareness and looked over to see Kim pinned between two guys and rushed to help only to get shot by one of the goons on the other end of the bar. he bleeds out while Kim kills off the rest.

Chay comes back to a bar full of bodies and Kim (clutching) cradling him. Kim isn't crying. he isn't really doing much of anything other than clinging and staring off into nothing with a thoroughly haunted expression.

Chay blinks and tentatively lays his fingers against Kim's cheek. "Kim?"

Kim's eyes snap to him, but still don't quite see him. he stays looking blank for a few seconds that feel like hours before saying matter-of-factly, "I've snapped."

"Kim!" Chay protests, distressed.

"It's okay," Kim says, still matter-of-fact but smiling tenderly, "better to be mad with you than without."

it takes a while to convince Kim he's not insane and that Chay's really back. Chay's not certain he fully manages it. but his death also shook loose a lot of confessions Kim normally couldn't say out loud. ("why--" Chay starts, voice cracking, "why did you say 'I'm sorry' that day?" / "You were supposed to be safe," Kim replies hoarsely, mad smile slipping for tears.) there's more clutching and clinging, this time by Chay too. both of them manage to forget they're in a bar of dead bodies until Porsche and Kinn come crashing through the door.

"Chay!" Porsche yells when he first sees him.

"Chay," Porsche pleads brokenly when he sees Chay's blood soaked shirt.

"Not mine!" Chay says quickly, and would've been given away by how fast Kim's head snaps around in any other circumstance. "See?" he says, raising his shirt to show unblemished skin, "No injury."

this does a lot to reassure Porsche, but Chay can tell Kim still thinks he's a little bit insane. Chay decides that's fine for now, because dying takes a lot out of you and apparently everyone around you too and it's unfair to expect Kim to just bounce back from him bleeding out on him, he'll work on it after a shower and dinner.

I'm not writing this AU because I only really have these two vague scenes in my head, but Chay having multiple lives making his existence in the mafia hurt more than canon's calls to me, it really does.

oh, also: in the AU source material, one of the nine-lifers has one of his lives removed and stored into a ring for safekeeping. he later gives this ring to his to-be-wife as her wedding ring. I'm not sure yet how to work that into this AU because Chay's contact with magic and other magicals would be slim to none in this, but please picture how this would absolutely wreck Kim, because there's nothing Kim wants more than to safeguard Chay but as far as he's concerned, he's already failed Chay in that regard twice. 😈

[[ ask me about fics im not writing ]]

[imjustasugablob]

Feel Me Up pt. 2

trainer! leon x trainee! female! reader

part 1

tags: piv, penetration, teasing, spanking, dick riding, agegap(implied), slight degradation but reader is a smartass back

You lay in bed, staring at the dark outline of the dangling ceiling lamp. The soft snoring of your bunkmate acted as white noise, but you still couldn't sleep.

Did I really just try to hook up with Leon? And then walk away?

You could hardly believe what happened wasn't just a wet dream. Even in a dream you couldn't imagine walking away from that position. But when it came to Leon you acted almost on autopilot, making snarky remarks in response to his questions, trying your best to piss him off, just as he did to you.

You didn't really know why you did it. Maybe to show him that you weren't as weak as he thought. But tonight must have really proved that you could match him.

You got out of bed, grabbing a jacket and tying up your shoes. You realised your hands shook a little.

Fuck, there's no way I'm getting any sleep tonight.

Might as well take a walk.

You weren't going to find him, just going on a simple walk to ease your nerves.

Right?

Then why are my hands shaking?

As you made your way to the yard behind the dorm building, you came across the rooms reserved for senior officials of the government posted here. You didn't know how, but you did end up in front of Leon's private chambers, staring at the engraved nameplate fitted into the mahogany door. A faint light could be seen peeking from under the door, spilling out onto the hallway. You simply stood there, thinking back to the day you first met him, all the way to earlier tonight. How you'd always found him attractive, but it seemed simply improper to think those thoughts, so you buried them away.

Suddenly, you heard a click in the doorknob.

Shit, is he coming out?

You tried to hurry away but your shoes seemed to be welded to the floor beneath you. Like a deer in headlights, you froze in place as the door swung wide open.

Leon, seemingly surprised by your appearance, stood completely still at the threshold. Your eyes took a second to get used to the light coming from inside his room, but the first thing you noticed was that he wasn't wearing a shirt.

Oh, God.

It wasn't the first time you were seeing him like this. After all, it wasn't uncommon for the men you trained with to ditch their shirts halfway through practice, drenched in sweat. But it was different that time. It would have been weird to ogle at him as he explained to you the basics of striking technique, although some of the girls didn't seem to think that it was unprofessional to eyefuck him in broad daylight.

No, it wasn't like this.

Right now, he looked vulnerable. His hair was disheveled, bags drooping under his eyes. He straightened his slumped shoulders, blinking the strain out of his eyes, as if he thought you were a hallucination.

Everything about him looked softer now. Except for his eyes.

You couldn't tell what he was thinking, but looking into the cerulean depths, you could imagine it to be the violent sea crashing against the cliffside with enough force to cut through the ancient rock.

You cleared your throat, having lost all the earlier ferocity with which you had taken control over the older man. "Uhm. H-hey."

He didn't respond, but continued to take you in with his eyes. The tension still lingered, draped over you like a weighted blanket, making it hard to breathe correctly.

"You should go." Leon finally replied after what seemed like ages. His voice sounded gravelly, deeper. His tone was devoid of any emotion, not even a hint or acknowledgement towards what had happened between you two.

"Yeah, I was just- yeah. Okay.", you said as you turned away from his body, slowly yanking your eyes from him, with great difficulty.

You walked slowly, maybe a couple metres, before realising that he hadn't shut his door.

Why isn't he going back?

You paused, not knowing whether you should turn around or not. Was he waiting for you to?

In a split second, a thousand thoughts seemed to be rushing through your mind. Leon consumed all of them. The way his hand felt in yours, his calloused fingers leaving marks in the dip of your waist. How beautiful he was.

Was it even a question?

You slowly looked over your shoulder to find Leon leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, like he just knew that you were gonna go back to him.

Like his fucking lap dog.

However casual his pose was, his eyes gave away how he really felt, as they darkened on seeing the desire in your own.

In just two steps you crossed over to where he was, and he closed the gap between you instantly, pulling you into a deep kiss, your chest flush against his. It felt like you were continuing from right where you left off.

Leon pulled you into his cabin, shutting the door behind him and pinning you against the wall without breaking the kiss. His tongue flicked across your bottom lip, and you parted your lips as he began to explore the inside of your mouth.

"You're not going anywhere now, darling", he said as he reached behind you to lock the door. The word didn't feel endearing, but rather a taunt, inviting you to retaliate.

You dug your nails into his shoulders, causing him to groan into your mouth. "Don't get too cocky now, Kennedy."

A rookie referring to a senior agent like that was bold. Not bolder than having sex with your direct superior, though, you thought as you felt his boner pressing up against your thigh.

He chuckled softly. "Oh, you just have to run that pretty little mouth of yours, don't ya?"

"I think it's high time you stop taking it and show me how it makes you feel", you said.

You broke free from his arms and made your way to his bed. Taking off your shirt, and then your pants as you faced away from him, making sure to give him a great view of your ass.

You heard his low growl, which made the hair on your neck rise.

You felt him approach you from behind before he pushed you into the mattress, landing with your ass up, directly facing him. Before you could get a word out, a hard slap landed on your ass, stinging as he kneaded the soft flesh.

"How it makes me feel? It makes me wanna fuck that dirty mouth of yours till you can't say shit no more."

Another slap resounded in the room, making you moan out loud this time.

"Oh you like that, don't you? You want me to treat you like the little whore you are, hmm?"

You had never really been into degradation before.

I guess this is one way of finding out.

Leon pulled aside your panties as he ran his fingers over your slit, covered in arousal.

"Already so wet for me. You shouldn't have left earlier baby, I would have taken care of your little problem."

He slowly made his way to your clit, rubbing circles over the bundle of nerves, making you grasp at the sheets, desperate for release. God, you were so pent up.

"I need you...", you managed to croak out between laboured breaths.

"Then say it." Leon increased the speed of his fingers on your clitoris now, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. He slapped your sensitive bundle, not hard but enough to make you see stars.

"Leon, I need you inside me! I want your dick, please let me-" you choked up as your orgasm washed over you that very instant, making you writhe in pleasure as he brought you down from your high.

"That fast? Fucking hell." Leon felt the blood rush straight down as he looked at you completely fucked out from just his fingers. You could be as defiant and bratty as you wanted when it came to talk, but the way his fingers seemed to know every inch of you made you completely helpless in front of him, reduced to a blabbering, pleading mess.

Leon flipped over your body, climbing on top of you as he kissed you once more, now with a sense of impatience and desperation. Your little show had affected him much more than he was letting on, and he'd be damned if his dick wasn't inside you as soon as possible.

You tugged at the waistband of his sweatpants, encouraging him to take them off. In the dim light, you could see him rummaging around for a condom in his bedside drawer before hearing the sound of ripping foil.

He positioned himself at your entrance, rubbing his tip back and forth over your slit as his unintelligible murmurs against your ears sent you in a trance, repeating his name over and over like a mantra as he pushed inside. It was definitely a stretch, added to the fact that it had been long since you found yourself in bed with someone.

You gasped, overwhelmed by the sensation. You could feel the throbbing vein on his cock against your velvety walls, making your toes curl in pure, unadulterated pleasure. Leon pulled out completely, leaving you whining. He was teasing the hell out of you, which couldn't have been easy for him, either.

A wave of anger rose at this thought, how he would deny himself pleasure just to see you suffer. You suddenly sat up and climbed onto his lap, positioning his cock just right, and sank down on him all the way to the hilt.

Leon moaned out loud at the unexpected feeling. Your walls clenched around his length, like a prison he never wanted to leave. Grabbing his shoulders, you began rocking your hips up and down, not breaking eye contact.

"Fuck, baby, you're so good at this."

You might have blushed if it was coming from someone else. Who were you kidding, you would never have dared to act this ambitious had it been someone else. But Leon was different. You didn't have to think when it came to him. All you wanted was to make him feel good. To hear that sweet, sweet praise from his mouth, that he had denied you all those weeks at training.

Leon grabbed your hips and pulled them inwards, changing the angle and hitting your G spot. He began meeting your hips with his own, thrusting upwards, drilling even deeper into your pussy. You were on the verge again.

"Come on, baby, come for me. Come all over my dick," Leon said as his thrusts began to grow sloppier.

His dirty words did the job of sending you over the edge, the burning knot in your stomach coming undone at his request. He wasn't far behind, fucking you through your orgasm as he reached his own, whispering your name the whole while.

Your breathing slowly returned to normal as you continued to hold on to him, feeling him going soft inside you.

"God, that was good," you said.

"Training's in an hour, princess. There's still time for some extra lessons, don't you think?"

tw: LONG authors note rambling ahead

thank bloody HEAVENS this is over. I mulled over a completely written out story, decided it's trash, erased it all instead of writing a new draft and wrote something EVEN WORSE. I'm not satisfied by how this turned out at all, but honestly I had to rush it cause I'm going through some personal (DINO) crises. Also can y'all tell I've never had sex before 💀 I really wanted to include oral but I ran out of time and mental energy. I'll write it in some other fic and make it actually good this time. Thank you for reading my story nevertheless and a comment really means the world to me, i really appreciate all the love and support I got on the first part. I never thought I'd get a 100 likes on the first ever work i publish and I'm sorry for this one being a disappointment. I probably won't be writing again for a long time cause I have a really big paper due after the holidays but oh well I wrote the first part in an hour the DAY OF a big submission so we'll see. Thank you once again, and happy holidays!

xoxo

BLOB

[82mitsu]

{18Trip} <CHAPTER 001 SIDE-A: Sun will R1ze!> 001-A05 First Strategy Meeting

A translation of 18TRIP's CHAPTER 001 SIDE-A by 82mitsu. ENG proofreading by sasaranurude.

Kafka: Mhm, all the founding employees being assembled really makes you feel like the reality of it all has kicked in.

Kafka: However, what we’re doing here isn’t some get together for friends. Bringing proper results is our goal. For the time being I want to explain the restoration plan I came up with though, is that okay?

Yachiyo: …Um, uhm…

Yachiyo: That special tourism ward thingie mentioned in the documents… What uh, is …it?

Kafka: ………

Sakujiro: I cannot believe we have to start from there.

Yachiyo: Sosososososorry!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaede: (Living in JPN in this day and age, and not knowing about special tourism wards… Maybe Yachiyo-kun is some sheltered boy?)

Kafka: Sakujiro, you know what to do.

Sakujiro: Of course, President. Fuefuki-kun, please look this way. It’s an educational video aimed at children titled “Tourism For Beginners”. 

Kaede: (That video…! It’s the one I saw while I was in preschool…!)

Mister Rabbit: “Hello all good boys and girls! Today Mister Rabbit and-”

Little Miss Lion: “Little Miss Lion~!”

Mister Rabbit & Little Miss Lion: “-Will be learning all about the tourism industry~!”

Little Miss Lion: “Hey hey Mister, why do people call JPN the nashion of toorism?”

Mister Rabbit: “Good question, Little Lion! You see, JPN isn’t the only “nation of tourism” out there, since many countries all over the world are the same as JPN!”

Mister Rabbit: “People from the past worked very hard and made many machines. Thanks to the power of science, everyone’s got lots and lots of free time! Which is why traveling became a very popular way of playing!”

Little Miss Lion: “People from all over the woreld are trafeling!?”

Mister Rabbit: “Yes they are! A lot of effort was put into creating a “Ministry of Tourism” so everyone can have lots of fun, even in JPN!

Mister Rabbit: “In particular, the places where lots of tourists go to play are called “special tourism wards”, and support is provided in all sorts of ways throughout the whole country so everyone can have fun!”

Little Miss Lion: “Waaah~! Does that mean taxes becoming cheaper too~!?”

Mister Rabbit: “Yes, you bet! Among other things, in a “special tourism ward”, there’s the official position of “0th Ward Mayor”, someone with a loooot of powerful authority!

Little Miss Lion: Little Lion love love loves authoreety~! What can I do if I become the 0th Ward Mayor? Can I destroy the entire neighborhood~?”

Mister Rabbit: “Ahaha! Little Miss Lion makes some funny jokes! But, maybe you can? wink”

Mister Rabbit: “The 0th Ward Mayor can advertise tourism, choose who gets to be a Ward Mayor and decide on what the local tourism should be about!”

Mister Rabbit: “Whether it's killing or reviving the neighborhood, that all depends on the 0th Ward Mayor and the other mayors!”

Little Miss Lion: “Waaauw, when I grow up Little Miss Lion will definitely become the 0th ward mayor and obtain all the authoreety in the world~!”

Kaede: (... Did this video always have such a dark twist to it…?)

Yachiyo: Tremble tremble tremble… The 0th Ward Mayor is an authoritarian figure……………!

Daniel: Hweh~ I see now, uh-huh~ That’s what special tourism wards and 0th Ward Mayors were all about, huh.

Kaede: (Hold on, what do you mean Daniel-san didn’t know about this!? The previous company he worked at WAS a travel agency…!)

Kafka: So, the mentioned 0th Ward Mayor is what I am, basically…

Yachiyo: Hieh, you’re gonna destroy the neighborhood…!?

Kafka: Well, whether the ward sinks or swims all depends on the Ward Mayor themself. In fact, my own father is the one who almost killed HAMA, so…

Kaede: (Kafka, your smile is creepy…)

Kafka: It wasn’t mentioned in the video, but special tourism wards also have their disadvantages.

Kafka: Instead of receiving support from the country, they’re put under surveillance by the 23 wards of Tokyo connected to the government. Our own supervisory authority is in the hands of Tokyo’s 8th Ward Mayor.

Kaede: Shigematsu Hakkei-san who was at the inauguration… right?

Kafka: Yes. Ward Mayors like him frequently come sightseeing without prior notice. So if the hospitality level is low, a negative review will be drafted up immediately—think of them like some kind of menace of a sister-in-law. 

Nayuki: However, you cut all financial support from the capital, right? Then in that case, the 8th Ward of Tokyo must not have the right to interfere with tourism policies anymore. 

Kafka: Exactly that♪ I’ll be taking bold, drastic measures with our tourism policies this year.

Kafka: If we don’t reach the quota of required tourists in a year, HAMA will lose its status as a special tourism ward and my role will disappear too. 

Kaede: We just gotta get over that hurdle of drawing in tourists, right…

Kafka: So that’s all to say, in order to revive HAMA I put a plan together under the name of “NEO18Wards”.

Nayuki: According to the documents… the benchmark is the 9 wards of KOBE? 

Yachiyo: Marking benches?

Sakujiro: A blueprint, an example, the goal we’re aiming for. That’s the meaning of it, Fuefuki-kun.

Yachiyo: Muh! Memo, memo…!

Kaede: Why KOBE-9 though, if you don’t mind telling us?

Kafka: The reason is simple. KOBE and HAMA are both port cities, making them rivals that've been getting compared for as long as they've existed. Though, KOBE is crushing the competition at the moment.

Nayuki: If I remember correctly, KOBE did a large-scale reformation on their approach to tourism a few years back, and established a plan for the Ward Mayors to be directly involved with hospitality.

Kafka: Exactly. To begin with, what people are trying to find by traveling is a fresh, personal human connection that they cannot experience on a daily basis due to the mechanization and automation of the modern age. 

Kafka: Such an element cannot be easily replicated by technology.

Kaede: (That’s true…)

Kafka: HAMA’s failure is attributed to the surplus of tourism policies attracting way too many tourists for its own good, and in turn this lowered the quality of hospitality to each individual as a whole.

Kafka: To get us out of this situation, it’s necessary to give tourists the experience of courteous hospitality just like in KOBE. 

Nayuki: A simple but a very reliable method, if I had to say. Nonetheless, what do we do about the policies to increase tourism?

Kafka: That’s the Nayuki I know, always quick on the uptake♪

Kafka: First, we’ll narrow it down to domestic affairs… When thinking about the population of JPN, there are only so many people that travel on a regular basis, after all.

Kafka: It’s a situation where every city wants a piece of the pie. Keeping that in mind, the only way to increase tourism is by increasing the amount of repeat tourists. 

Kafka: Not just touring all the famous spots as people have been until now, but transforming all of HAMA into a tourist attraction and establishing a fanbase is what’s essential here. Which is why… I intend to increase the number of Ward Mayors for exactly this reason. 

Kaede: More Ward Mayors…?

Kafka: Currently, there are three Ward Mayors left in HAMA. The plan is to appoint a Ward Mayor to all 18 wards in due time.

Nayuki: It’s the 0th Ward Mayor’s job to lead the other mayors, right. Wouldn’t management be a heavy burden with such a large number of people?

Kafka: It’s me, remember? Think I can’t pull it off?

Nayuki: … You have a point.

Kafka: Though, first we start bolstering what we have with the current Ward Mayors. Sakujiro, you know what to do.

Sakujiro: Yes, President. Click click, as you asked.

Kaede: …Splitting up the 18 wards into four areas? By morning, noon, evening and night…?

Kafka: That’s right. By the way, the intention behind the name is along the lines of “Enjoy your trip to HAMA from morning till night”♪

Kafka: Which leads us to the following. Yachiyo, Sakujiro, Nayuki and Daniel. All of you will be providing full-time support to each squad respectively. As for the role itself—I’ll simply call you “conductors”.

Yachiyo: Eh, eeeh…!? Such, such an important task, me!?

Kaede: (For Yachiyo-kun this is definitely too much… W-wonder if this is okay.)

Kafka: No worries. Yachiyo is in charge of Morning Squad, which includes me. Chief-chan, you’ll be keeping an eye on all squads, okay?

Kaede: G-got it.

Kaede: (I feel the pressure, but… I said I’ll face anything that comes at me. Gonna give it my all…!)

Nayuki: Dividing into groups and establishing squads, I can understand. However, what is the meaning behind going through the trouble of dividing?

Kafka: The fact that we’ll get the Ward Mayors of each squad to coordinate and create a superior touring plan. There's a limit on how much our tourism resources can be fortified when our time is restricted to one year. 

Kaede: (That’s true… Right now we’re unable to sit down and create new facilities, and increasing what sights to see isn’t an easy task.) 

Kafka: But, we do have something we can use immediately. What do you think that is?

Yachiyo: Eh……, eh………

Kaede: Can use immediately…?

Daniel: Our amazing Bossman’s money? Gahah, just joshing!

Nayuki: …I see, that’s what it is.

Kafka: It’s none other than human resources. 

Kaede: (Ah…!)

Kafka: I’ve said it before, right? What people look for on travels is something that cannot be replicated by technology. 

Kafka: Extremely hard to quantify that the numbers may as well be random. An existence whose pattern is indecipherable to the whole word. That’s what “humans” are.

Kafka: I’m wagering on the “human” potential of Ward Mayors. A meeting between people—there’s no personal experience more intense than that. 

Nayuki: If this is the President’s plan of action, I will provide my support.

Nayuki: Though, will the current Ward Mayors give their endorsements? All wards had been operating independently up until now. 

Kafka: I’m the 0th Ward Mayor, remember?

Kafka: Just sit back and watch how I’ll make them say yes.

<<previous chapter / next chapter>>

chapter 001 side A directory: TBA upon completion

[deepfivetraveller]

The textile syndicate

This story is a request and it won't feel as inclusive, since readers nationality is Indian. With that said, if you still want read this have fun :D

You instruct your servants the moment you get out of the carriage. “Alright everyone, unload everything.” They instantly take out all the wooden boxes, many of them adorned with intricate designs. You take one look at the garments inside  and give them a nod of approval.

‘Why did these Britishers hire me of all people? Surely they could find someone better’ You ponder.

But there is no time to waste. The grand Moriarty manor stands right in front of you. As you take a deep breath in, you put your right foot forward, officially entering the manor

“Moneypenny, do you want any style in particular?” Albert chimes. “Thank you for your concern, but I don’t know a thing about sarees.” With that, she crushes his chance for a conversation. To further show her discontent she puts a biscuit in her mouth, an indication she doesn’t want to talk further.

“Ah.” He grows silent. Albert doesn’t blame her for this behaviour. A mission to India takes at least two months of transport time. Obviously no person wishes to be trapped in a wooden hulled ship for that long. He quickly turns to William. “Brother, why did you call her out of all the saree producers?”

“Uhh…” William puts down his teacup. “No particular reason.” Albert’s eyebrows cross at his response.

“And you expect me to believe that lie? Please dear brother.” It was quite a peculiar situation, seeing the earl pout.

“There’s nothing to it really. Saree is an Indian garment, She’s Indian. Plus, she is the daughter of a well educated businessman.” He grabs a mini sandwich from the tiered cake stand

His reason was technically true. William put a lot of effort in finding you. After all, you’re a part of their mission. Y/n L/n hailed from a town called Kanchipuram, the Silk City of India. She had also spend 5 years of her teenage life in Dhaka, India, which is known for creating a very important fabric, Important because it plays a part in their mission.

“She’s here” Louis pops out of the doorframe of the tea room. “Great! Let's get to it.” With Albert’s command, the other two rise up.

Talking to your clients didn’t seem quite hard but what throws you off is the blonde man with the scar staring at you constantly. Although he has been helping your servants with the boxes, anytime this happens you start to talk with the other blonde haired red eyed man in the room.

“If it’s alright, may I ask why you want to purchase a saree in the first place? England's weather is not suitable for this in the first place.” A question lingers.

“My assistant is going to Calcutta on my behalf for a business trip. She would be attending a party behesting myself, so we thought it would be a nice idea to buy one.” Albert straightens up.

“Hmm…In that case I don’t think you should buy any of these sarees.”

This sentence rattles Moneypenny. “Why not?” She retorts a bit aggressively. ‘So all that browsing was for nothing?’ She thought. “You would be visiting a North-Indian household. My sarees are made in a south Indian style.”

That’s a good excuse. Truth to be told, you don’t want to sell your sarees to them. The Indians and nobles with no ties to the government have been your primary clients for…that fabric. Exposure of your work to high standing Britishers might scare your actual customers away.

“But Ms.L/n, you do have North-Indian styles in your inventory.” William speaks up. “Uhm I don’t.” You’re confused.

“Yes you do.”

“But I don’t???”

“Then what about the Dhakha Muslin?”

Oh no.

“The illegal fabric?” Moneypenny jumps from her seat.

Dhaka Muslin, an Indian made fabric banned by Britishers. Throughout history many famous figurines such as Marie Antoinette, Joséphine Bonaparte and even Jane Austen have worn and loved this Muslin. After colonisation, Dhaka Muslin became popular among female nobles, as it was a status symbol. However they didn’t know how to layer it properly. Dhaka Muslin is a transparent fabric, so thin some say it’s woven out of air. Without proper layering and pleating, wearing it can make you look naked. Thus, it was banned by Britishers. Weavers were forced to make garments out of cheaper fabric to get food on their table and cheap fabrics of England replaced this one quickly. All methods of reviving this fabric were almost gone until your father invested in the business. Even after being banned, the demand for the fabric still exists.

“This should get interesting.” Albert perks up.

“Excuse me Mr Moriarty but these are nothing but faulty accusations—” “Then what about this?” William shows you a piece of paper. A paper containing all the transactions with you and your previous clients. Worst of all, it’s written in your handwriting and has your signature.

Anger and fear blossoms upon your face.You knew it was a bad idea to be related to them. You knew Albert had ties with the military and yet you willingly signed up to this.

“Don’t worry Ms.Y/n, I don’t plan on showing this to the police.” Albert chums up.

What?

“Well that is if you comply.” William smiles and takes out a checkbook and a pen. “Dhaka Muslin is a highly sought after fabric in the black market.” He turns to his brother. “Did you know brother, it takes almost 16 steps to create it.” William continues writing. “That’s quite high.”

“Which is precisely why it’s hard to make. Even the cotton for it can only be grown on a specific land.” He looks at you.

“Overflood the market.” He swiftly tears off the check and hands it to you. “What are you planning?” You glare. “That is our business, you are in no place to ask for that. Should we want to reveal it, you’d know then.” Albert gets up from his seat and towers you. “We give you five months time to prepare and sell. If anything money related troubles you, call us.”

“Uh Lord Albert what about my saree?” Moneypenny looks up at the brothers as if nothing happened. “Just wear a gown. The party is hosted by an Englishman anyway” With that they leave the room, leaving you alone with the lady. “Don’t look at me. I didn’t even know they were planning something.” She gets going too.

“I should have expected this.” You drop the files on the table, creating a loud bang. Three months have passed by but you still don’t know why they’re doing this. The only reason you’re able to stand them is because of the pay. They’ve even overpaid you in some cases. But maybe, that should have been your second warning, another reminder to escape England. Today, Lord Albert Moriarty directly came to where the fabrics arrived and informed you the operation has to be done within a few weeks. You argued, bitterly, even shouting a few curse words in your mother tongue but his decision was final.

It’s odd timing that at the very same moment hundreds of buyers emerged for the muslin. From old-money manors to local tailors, everyone wants this fabric now. Police investigations have increased, leaving buyers at risk, but they still order.

“So much paperwork…” You mumble. This isn’t the time to complain. You grab a pen and start filling out the papers. Half an hour goes by and you can already feel the dark circles coming in. 

“A break would help you, you know?” Your head turns in a flash and your eyes lock in contact with the blonde man.

“L-Lord William! S-Sorry for the mess, please, do sit.” Your hands grab onto all the paper on the table and quickly arrange them. “Please, Liam is just fine.” William moves, standing opposite to you.

He had visited you a multitude of times in your office. Once when you expressed your displeasure to plain English tea, he brought some chinese tea cakes to try out. Ehne you both tried it the concentration of the brew from said tea leaves of cake was so strong, both of you spat it out. Ever since then, the two of you have become very attached to each other.

He stared at you for a few seconds. “Your hair.” He briskly pressed his fingers on top of your head, smoothening the abrasive hair. You quickly use both your palms to flatten it out. “Pardon me.”

“No, pardon me. That was very rude.” He looks to the ground and quickly pulls out a box. “For you.” he shys away.

Inside it was a luminous golden ring. “A Vanki ring.” You immediately pick it up. A Vanki ring is a ‘V’ shaped ring usually worn by daughters of high priests or kings. “A retired Colonel named Moran told me Indian women commonly wear gold jewelry so…there it is.” His mouth turns into a straight line. You figured gift giving was William’s way of showing love but this was beyond what you expected. Vanki rings are not commonly known jewelry and finding a goldsmith in Britain to craft one is even harder….

He actually looks kinda cute.

“I know my brother's demands seem unfair, but time is really not on our side. And I know, you’re still quite clueless on why this is happening to you.” Your eyes still linger on the red gemstones. “We don’t mean anything bad, w-well the true reason is—” William goes silent.

“Why are you wearing it there?” He almost pales from shock. “Wear the ring where?” “on your ring finger!” He panics. “Vanki rings are usually worn on the ring finger. Plus, why did you Englishmen name it the ring finger if its purpose wasn’t for holding a ring?”

“That—UGH!” He covers his face with his palm, trying to hide his blush. “In England we wear a ring on that finger to signify…”William’s voice trails off.

“To signify what?”

“NOTHING. Good day.” With that , he slams the door to your office and leaves.

“My little brother did what?” Albert chuckles. “Yes! And he didn’t even give me a proper reason. what does wearing a ring on the ring finger mean anyway?”

“Nothing of importance.” Albert smiles calmly. “Please forgive William, he doesn’t mean bad.”

It’s the day before you sell all your fabrics to the people. Only one more day before you cut ties with these gentlemen. Albert had invited you to discuss plans but it suddenly turned to him drinking wine. “Why not try some?” He shows you a bottle. “It’s vintage.”

“Oh no no.” You apologise. “I don’t drink.”

“Scared of some dried grape juice?”

“Well alcohol addiction does run in my family so yes.” You lean back. “I don’t think I can convince you any further.” He puts down the bottle. “Are you sure? About the alcohol addiction.”

“Oh yes very much. My father had it. It’s the main reason why I’m in England.” This peaks his curiosity.Albert waits for you to give him an answer.

“My father was a great man.” you slid back further. “He loved my mother, he loved me…He always made sure to put us first before anything.” Your eyes lingered on the wine glass. “When my relatives pestered on marrying me early, he was the one who stood up against them and gave me an education. Father taught me all there is to his business. No one could argue that he wasn’t a good businessman but…” Your voice lowered.

“But what?” Albert took a sip. “But he was casteist. You see, I come from a line of priests. In India, people would call me a ‘brahmin’. In my country, being a brahmin has a higher status than that of a king. He did believe our family were somewhat spiritually higher but he never discriminated against anyone until he took alcohol. I don’t know what exactly happened to his mind.”

“He mistreated our servants and the weavers working for us, calling them ‘untouchables’, giving customers different rates according to their birth and whatnot.” You sighed. “Even my mother had enough of him. Fights occurred a lot in the family ever since then.” Your voice hitched at the end.

“Then my mother left. She couldn’t handle him anymore.” You blinked rapidly to avoid tears. Albert noticed this and was ready to change the topic but you continued. “I wanted to leave him. But I didn’t have anything for myself. No money, no name. I was this close to giving up.” You gulped your saliva.

“Then I remembered I was one of the few people in my family who knew how to read and write English. I was also responsible for writing up contracts and had spare copies of everything. I even had the records of the illegal transactions. Being such a large amount, I took the files directly to the British officials in Dhaka. My father was arrested and the officers were very pleased with my confession. They decided to pardon me even though I was involved in the business. The officers gave me a heap of cash and told me to start a life anew. But, I just couldn’t leave the weavers. They were completely dependent on my father, that’s why they tolerated him in the first place. So I took the risk, hired them under me, set up a new area for business and came to England in the name of ‘expanding my business’. ” You close your eyes and lay back your head after the confession. No wonder why you were frightened to the core when William showed your records. You thought Karma caught up and was about to do the same thing you did to your dad. 

“I’m sorry for being emotional.” All you could do was stare down in shame.You told everything to a man you truly don’t know. You didn’t want to know what he was thinking of you at the moment. You were so caught up in ranting, you weren’t even sure you narrated the events correctly.

“No I’m sorry for making you talk about this…” SIlence suffocated the room. 

“You and I…Are not so different.” He smiles. “My father was a little like yours.” “Really?” “Yes. But minus the ‘great’ part and the ‘loving my mother’. Everything else is just the same.”

“Oh.” A small sound just left your lips. “I too did something drastic in order to get away from him.” You finally turn up your head to see him, and was greeted by something shocking. His eyes were red. So were his under eyes. He cried.

“Do you regret it?” You asked hesitantly. “Not much. But I wish he were a better man. It wouldn’t have come down to that if he had respected my wishes.”

Tranquility filled the room again. Abruptly Albert got up. “How about we go horse riding? That should ease both our minds.” 

“In the middle of the night?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Why not? Unconventional times always lead to great discoveries.” He grinned. 

“Come on then.” He holds out his hand for you to grab.

The stable was devoid of any person, field with nothing but hay and horses. “Why don’t we ride this one?” He points the black horse.

“Oh it’s alright I know how to ride horses, no need to go on the same one.” You look around. “I’ll ride the brown one.” You point at it.

“...Very well then.” Albert was disappointed. He takes out both of the horses. 

The blades of grass shimmer dimly at the moonlight. The wind blows cold, causing goosebumps around your arms even with a coat. Albert assists you in climbing your horse and climbs his with ease.

“I’m guessing your father used to take you on rides?” You nod to his question.

Both of you do a swift flick on the reins and the horses are out running. The seemingly cold wind feels warm to Albert after he hears your giggles.

As you further go down the field, the horse starts to go faster. Unbeknownst to you, the horse wasn’t properly trained. At one point you pull on its rein to stop it, but the untrained animal runs faster instead. It starts to jump, trying to push you off its back. Albert wasted no time to rush to your aid. “Y/n!!”

You try with all your might to stay on it, but finally it pushes you off, leaving you tumbling to the ground.

“Y/n!” He screams at the top of his lungs. At a panic, he tries to get off the horse while its moving, stumbling while running towards you. “Oh my goodness, are you alright?” You blink rapidly, seeing two versions of Albert.

“Can you hear me? Oh dear lord.” He quickly removes one of his gloves. “Forgive me for touching you without gloves but we must put your health above your reputation.” Albert uses his two fingers to check your pulse on your throat.

“You don’t seem injured in any manner but…Let’s get you a doctor.” Within a split second he lifts you up with ease, carrying you back to the manor.

“Is your ankle fine?” William passes you a slice of cake. You softly touch over the bandages of your leg. “It’s better than before.” You smile.

The mission was completed successfully. Apparently the reason why they needed to overflow the market was because a nobleman used slaves to enlargen his fabric empire. Your marketing had given them enough time to corner him to ‘settle the dispute’. You did want to ask why they did this but seeing the fact that they had money and power to take down such an elite man, you don’t think its best to ask. Infact, you feel queasy interacting with them now.

“Ms. Y/n.” Albert calls you. “You seem to be very passionate about reviving the fabric of your nation. Why don’t we continue this deal further? Let’s talk about this at dinner… just the two of us.” He tries to avoid eye contact.

You’re still oblivious to his advances. “Oh no thank you, I—”

“NO!” William shouts with unyielding determination. This situation was very unpleasant and unprecedented. Never did William guess that his own brother would be in love with his love. 

He has to do something now.

“Brother this is not possible…” He replies sternly. After regaining his composite he continues. “...Because I’ve already invested in her ‘business’.” 

“Oh and tell me, by what means did you ‘invest?”  His usually monotone voice takes a mocking turn.

William almost wants to laugh at his brother's behaviour. He had never seen him being so childish. “By using this” He gently picks up your hand and shows him the ring.

“I’ve heard Indian women wear gold as an investment.” He continues. “And I say, this is quite a steep investment.” He looks at his brother slyly.

“A ring on the finger means nothing if the other doesn’t understand its true meaning. ” He spat. “Besides, if you’re really ‘married’ to her, have you initiated anything???? Me and Y/n have already went horse riding…as spouses do.” He smirked.

Marriage??? They were trying to court you?

“Y/n.” Both of them call you at the same time.

Whom do you choose? 

#William#

#Albert#

#???????#

#?!?!?!!?!?#

[oh-to-be-a-murderer]

Nana and confusing old people with Gen Z and Gen Alpha humour.

Nana: *Having Doritos*

Steve: oh hey *grabs a dorito*

Nana: *still eating*

Steve: *Shoves the chip in his mouth*

Nana:*holds hand out* fanum tax now.

Steve: What?

Nana: FANUM TAX *VIGOROUSLY SHAKING PALM* FANUM TAX NOW!!!!!

Steve: THERES TAX FOR CHIPS NOW!?!?!? HAVE I NOT FOUGHT THE GOVERNMENT ENOUGH!?!??!!?

Bucky: So there's this girl that I like. I'm not sure if she likes me back, if not I won't proceed with her.

Nana: Dude you're a Beta male Ight? Ladies are finna drool over your goodness.

Bucky: ...are you speaking in English? Last I knew... eight and male don't go together?

Nana: *Facepalms*

Nana: How the hell do you spell "Shofurr" *singing*

Clint: C-h-a-u-f-f-e-u-r ?

Nana: OoOh fancy pants rich Mcghee out here!!

Clint: I litterally just answered your question?

Nana: what's 9+10?

Tony: Uuh 19?

Nana: ITS 21 BITCH DO YOU NOT KNOW SIMPLE MATHS!!!!!!!!

Tony: *On the verge of tears calling Rhodes* IDK WHAT SHE WANTS FROM ME SHE ASKED ME WHAT 9 + 10 WAS AND I SAID 19 AND SHE FREAKED OUT SYAING ITS 22!!!!

Nana: I SENSE SOMEONE MISQUOTING!!!!!!! ITS 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nana: *Singing* Party at the party, partyin' with his nose now

And baka got a weird case why is he around?

Certified lover boy? Certified pedophile

Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop ain't you tired

Tryna trike a cord and its probably A-Minor!!!!!

Sam:*profusely sweating* *on call with Steve* yeah uhm Steve I think it's time you get your daughter. I DONT CARE IF YOURE STILL IN YOUR MISSION. YES GET HER OUT OF HERE NOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nana: Sticking out your Gyatt for the rizzler

Lala: You're so skibidi, you're so fanum tax

Nana: I just wanna be your Sigma.

Bucky: *shaking* No Steve it's isn't in the dictionary! I've tried Google! It just says a bunch of random words, IDK I THOUGHT ALPHAS WERE WOLVES!!!!!!

@iwasmadetobeasoldier @that-punk-from-brooklyn @samwilson-official @theironcan @clintbarton-thearrowguy @fluffycows4life

[glorianamultistan]

I do not own the image.

I will be uploading more soon; this has been in my drafts for over six months. P.S.:- you can support me by buying me a coffee; link's on my page.

Lee Know x Male Reader

Part 1

Summary: Prince Lee Know has fallen for Y/n.

It was early morning, around 4 am, when Lee Know was sure that no one was following him; he departed towards the left wing of the manor, the ones where the guest rooms were located.

Y/n felt a light knock on his door and before he could ask who it was, the prince slipped in.

'Your Royal Highness!?' y/n whispered as he got up from his bed and felt a bit embarrassed because he was not in a very presentable state.

'Ah! You are up! Great! Let's go, we need to go to the lake; it will take some time. You wanted to look at the sunrise. So let's go.' Lee Know stated as if all this was a preplanned enterprise.

'Uhm... But sir. I just said it lightly.' Y/n could not understand how his light comment made the prince be present here at such an hour with all this enthusiasm.

He saw the older flinch a bit and feel a bit out of words, so he just complied with the request and 'You took such measures so early in the morning. I apologize; let me just get ready. Oh, don't worry, I can get ready without helpers, sir. If you could please turn around.'

Lee Know stood there, his face towards the door, with a feeling of restriction in his throat as he heard y/n rustle in and out of the clothes.

Lee Know was restless the whole night. He saw y/n for the first time last year at a ball held by his cousin, where the latter was introduced to him with the sole intention of a matrimonial alliance between the l/n and Lee families, both being two of the few most powerful ones in the southern region of the kingdom.

Lee family was also a branch of the royal family, with princes and princesses ornamenting the upcoming generation of family heads. So Lee Know, or Prince Lee Know, was an heir to the titles and extravaganza, and he knew how to use them to get the work he wanted to be done.

Y/n, on the other hand, was an honorable person, not with high titles, as he was not the direct heir and had three elder siblings. But it was truth universally acknowledged that he was the best catch out of all his siblings and hence was courted by a legion of princes and dukes and marquises and all the remaining titles of the realm, even the high-ranking government officials of the other nations and royalties of other empires wanted to have him as their son-in-law.

Why? Just because he was blessed with the supreme combination of mind and grace. He was, at his current age of 23, already an established author and a formal martial artist. He was mannered like no other person, full of the right protocols and courtesies. He was the gem the crowns of all the empires lacked. And, he was utterly clumsy and naive to love approaches to the level of irritation for his suitors.

'We can leave now, sir.' Lee Know turned around to see y/n in casual wear for a walk; he was still affected too much. 'Uh, yeah, let's go, let me, yes, just okay, let's go.' 'But this is my room, sir; I should be the one closing the door.' 'But I insist.'

So, y/n stood in the hallway as the prince closed the door and walked down the few engraved steps that his room had to them, a medieval design.

'Were you comfortable in the room? I got it arranged for you, especially because you like cozier spaces.' 'It is an honour, sir, that you took such measures for me.' Yes, y/n clearly has no idea that they met last year as a probable couple; his parents never notify him of such occurrences as he gets anxious and is not able to present himself. So now, it's the prince's turn to think that y/n is not interested in him and probably thinks of this all as a once-in-a-while opportunity.

'Will you be comfortable on the same horse, or do you want a separate one? Or do you want to drive there? I can ask for the cars too if you don't like horse rides.' Lee Know asked repeated questions to ensure he asserted that he was doing it all for the younger's comfort.

'I have no complaints about sharing the horse, sir.' Y/n liked such escapist endeavours. He was surprisingly cheerful this morning to go and look at the sunrise properly. He had heard of the majestic view of the sunrise which the lake of the Lee manor had. It was sublime, in his older brother's words.

The lake was situated in the little valley formed by ancient hills now eroded to moors. Here the duo reached just a few minutes before the sun was about to emerge through the horizon, and so there was a hazy lavender-maroon sky waiting for them.

'It is indeed sublime.' Y/n whispered. 'Huh?' Lee Know looked at the boy looking over to the climbing sun. Rays shined over them softly, and a light breeze ruffling the long hair of y/n made Lee Know to realise that he might actually have fallen a bit too hard.

What was to be done now? The sun was roping up, and the firmament shone, and so did the face of the younger, watching it all with awe as the mist started to clear up. Lee Know knew he had to take them back before breakfast, but he did not have enough courage to disturb the scene in front of him.

'Uhm, we-we should head back now, we need to be present there for breakfast, or your brother would think I kidnapped you.'

'Yes sir, we must hurry. I don't want to be caught slipping out like this.' There it was again; Lee Know felt a jab at heart; was he really not going to even get a chance?

[underworld-park-offical]

KENNY: Aww shit.

TOLKIEN: What?

KENNY: I fucked up this water sort puzzle level.

TOLKIEN: I don’t…

TOLKIEN: I DON’T HAVE WATER SORT PUZZLE???

KENNY: Well.

KENNY: You do now.

TOLKIEN: Kenneth.

TOLKIEN: How much battery is left on my phone.

KENNY: Errrrrmmmmmm….

KENNY: …

TOLKIEN: Kenneth. Jason. McCormick.

TOLKIEN: If my battery is below 50% I am going to beat your ass.

KENNY: …

KENNY: …. 25%....

TOLKIEN: Right. That’s it. I’m beating your ass.

KENNY: WAITWAITWWAITWAIWTIATWW.

TOLKIEN: What.

KENNY: Please don’t beat my ass!

TOLKIEN: Give me one good reason to not to.

KENNY: UH- uhhhhhh….

KENNY: Craig!

TOLKIEN: What.

KENNY: He- He has a portable charger!

KENNY: 

CRAIG: Erm, Kenny, what the ACTUAL sigma, you fucking L rizz fanum tax.

CRAIG: Who the FUCK are you to spread these rumors about me?!

CRAIG: Literally canceling you on Tumblr rn.

CRAIG: Smh my head, this is SO not that that me espresso! 

TOLKIEN: Shut the fuck up, Craig…

CRAIG: Let me Mountain Dew it for ya. 

KENNY: Bro my ass is boutta to become grass in two minutes if you don’t give it to me!!!

CRAIG: Ok, and?

CRAIG: Skill issue.

KENNY: CRAIG, PLEASE!!!!

CRAIG: Erm, chat, do you see this loser?

KENNY: CRAAAAAAAAAIGGGGG!!!!

TOLKIEN: That’s it.

TOLKIEN: Kenny, c’mere.

KENNY: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(WHACK BAM WHAM UUUUUWAAAAAHHHHHHHHH) 

CRAIG: Whhhh...

CRAIG: W--

CRAIG: Chat.

CRAIG: Chat what the flip.

CRAIG: What the actual sigma.

CRAIG: Th--

CRAIG: …

CRAIG: GUYS SHUT THE ACTUAL FREAK UP!!!!

CRAIG: THIS IS LIKE SO SUPER IMPORTANT THIS IS NOT SKIBIDI WHAT THE SIGMA.

CRAIG: IM GONNA ACTUALLY JEFF THE KILL MYSELF.

KENNY: OH WHERE WAS THIS ATTITUDE WHILE TOLKIEN JEFF THE KILLED ME???

TOLKIEN: Let’s be real, you brought that on yourself.

KENNY: No <3

TOLKIEN:

TOLKIEN: I’m surrounded by idiots.

STAN: WOULD IDIOTS BE TRYING TO ABDUCT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP????

TOLKIEN: Aaaand we woke up Shane Dawson.

TOLKIEN: Great.

TOLKIEN: Perfect.

TOLKIEN: Wonderful.

TOLKIEN: What next, the piss baby?

CRAIG: TOLKIEN THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT YOUR L RIZZ KAI CENAT ZERO GYATT!!

CRAIG: MY ARCH NEMESIS GREGORY_CUTIE_PIE_3RD.

CRAIG: HAS STOLEN MY ACCOUNT INFORMATION.

STAN: HE WORKS FOR THEM!!!

STAN:THE GOVERNMENT!!!! THE ALIENS!!! ALL OF THEM!!!

STAN: THE GAYS ARE THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL!!!

CRAIG: YEAH! THIS IS THE FAGS FAULT!

TOLKIEN: Oh my fucking goddd….

STAN: FAG? FEROCIOUS ANONYMOUS GOVERNMENT SPY!

STAN: IT’S CONFIRMED!!!

KYLE: Guys, it's Pride Month.

KYLE: Don’t do this right now.

CRAIG: EWWW!!!! FAGGOTRY!!!!

CARTMAN: Uhm? Excuse me? Your attitudes towards gay people is deeply offensive and completely unacceptable. How can you justify such bigotry and discrimination in this day and age? Everyone has the right to love and be loved without facing discrimination or hate from people like you. Your attitude perpetuates ignorance and division in our society. It's deeply disappointing to see such intolerance in this day and age. 

CARTMAN: I hope you realize the harm your beliefs cause and consider the importance of empathy and acceptance towards all individuals, regardless of sexual orientation.

TOLKIEN: Great, now you woke blue hair and pronouns.

CARTMAN: Wow, really? Is that the best you can do? Reduce my identity to my appearance and my pronouns? It's incredibly disrespectful and ignorant to dismiss who I am with such shallow labels. My hair and my pronouns are part of my identity, and they deserve respect. If you can't respect who I am, I am not interested in continuing this conversation with you.

CRAIG: This is literally why I hate fags. 

KYLE: Dude…

CRAIG: THE FAG IS POSTING UGLY ASS SELFIES ON MY BLOG!

CRAIG: TAINTING MY DAMN PAGE WITH HIS READING RAINBOW LITTLE WEE WEE!

CRAIG: BLUD LOOKS LIKE HE GOT A FUCKING GASTRIC BYPASS!

CRAIG: LIPOSUCTION HEADASS!!!

CRAIG: Guys I’m officially becoming demon-phobic.

CARTMAN: I'm genuinely taken aback by your racist remarks against demons. It's incredibly disrespectful and hurtful to demonkind, using them as a target for racism is not only absurd but also deeply insensitive. It's important to understand that such language perpetuates harmful stereotypes and can be hurtful to those who enjoy creative works involving demons. Please reconsider your words and think about the impact they can have on others.

CRAIG: Womp to the fucking womp.

CARTMAN: EXCUSE ME????

CRAIG: Don’t talk to me, I’m mewing rn.

KENNY: Lord have mercy.

KENNY: Please let my bitch of a sister fucking die.

KENNY: Dear god please. 

KENNY: If you love me, let me be an only child again.

TOLKIEN: Kenny what the fuck.

TOLKIEN: That’s your sister.

KENNY: And?

TOLKIEN: I doubt you’d actually let her die.

KENNY: Shit you right.

KENNY: She still owes me twenty dollars for that McDonalds I got her last week.

TOLKIEN: Okay, do you have anyone who can come get her outta there?

TOLKIEN: Not sure if it's a good idea to go out there with murderous, probably bloodthirsty demons running around.

KENNY: …

KENNY: …

KENNY: …

KENNY: …

KENNY: …

KENNY: …

KENNY: I know who to call.

SHITASS: snrrk nsnzznnzzzzzzzzzzz...,.

[  ♫ WE CAN GO GYATT FOR GYATT  ♫  ]

[  ♫ FUCK THAT, WE CAN GO RIZZ FOR RIZZ  ♫  ]

SHITASS: fhnfnhmmghfghg.

SHITASS: [yawn]

SHITASS: You’ve reached Captain Shitass, 

SHITASS: Unfortunately I cannot take your calls, but I’ll be available in the ‘morrow, no, before you ask, I don’t do balloons anymore.

SHITASS: Please leave a message after the be--

KENNY: Shut up, fecal failure, I’m not here to make you a birthday mascot. KENNY: We got some demon wranglin to do!

SHITASS: OH FUCKNUGGETS IS THE WAR COMIN???

KENNY: Don’t know, probably!

SHITASS: WHAT DO YOU MEAN PROBABLY????

SHITASS: ARE WE GOIN’ TO WAR OR NOT?

KENNY: Look babycakes, it's hard to guess if a big storm’s comin, but we ain’t takin’ no damn chances. KENNY: Besides, Karen still owes me McDonalds money.

SHITASS: Oh, this is over Donnie’s? Fuck yeah, I’m in. 

KENNY: Wait, really?

SHITASS: Uh, yeah!

SHITASS: I don’t fuck around when it comes to McDonalds.

SHITASS: Mcdonald’s is an important necessity to the American economic system. 

KENNY: Oh thank god. KENNY: After this, can we kill her? KENNY: Like actually?

SHITASS: Uh, yeah.

SHITASS: She’s a fucking cunt and I hate her.

KENNY: THANK GOD.

SHITASS: You wanna do it or should I?

KENNY: Oh I’d be fine with either, long as she dies. KENNY: Gets her outta my hair and me back to being an only child.  KENNY: Afterward, my life will be nothing but bliss. 

SHITASS: Aight bet.

SHITASS: By the way, where the fuck are you?

SHITASS: Usually you come over to my place with a loaded gun, pointing at me and forcing me to do a jester jig like a common peasant. 

KENNY: Haha. KENNY: Funny story.

SHITASS: Oh good robot lord, are you hiding in a bush to throw corn at me?

SHITASS: You’re not gonna tase my balls and yell “dance, peasant dance”?

SHITASS: You did that the LAST time you said you had somethin’ funny to tell me

SHITASS: Then you covered me in worms and rat shit as I mourned over my now broken balls.

KENNY: Nononono shawty it’s actually sososo funny.

SHITASS:Y’know, I can’t have children anymore, right?

SHITASS: So I feel like im inclined to not fucking believe you.

KENNY: Nononono It’s ACTUALLY funny.

SHITASS: I swear on robot jesus if you tase my ASSHOLE I will rip off YOUR balls!

KENNY: WOAHHH BUDDY! LET ME TELL MY STORY NO NEED TO MAKE IT GAY.

SHITASS: Kenneth aren’t we boyfriends?

KENNY: SHUT UPPPPP, Okay, so like.  KENNY: You know ouija boards, right? KENNY: And weed?

SHITASS: Of course I know what fucking weed is.

SHITASS: We rolled blunts with used tissues in the Walmart dumpster last week.

SHITASS: Mine tasted like blood and boogers.

KENNY: Oh yeahhhh! KENNY: Anyways. KENNY: We all got REALLY high one night, KENNY: And we decided to talk to a buncha ghosts, cuz that's what you do when you’re blitzed, ya know? KENNY: Then, Craig continued talkin’ to em after we all dipped cuz we didn’t wanna, y’know, DIE. KENNY: So now we’re all targets cuz his ass decided follower counts are more important than life.

SHITASS: Of course he did.

SHITASS: What a fucking idiot.

KENNY: RIGHT????

SHITASS: They know about the prophecy? Or like, about us? 

KENNY: Pssh, nah.

SHITASS: Thank god, let's keep it that way.

SHITASS: Anyone else with her?

KENNY: Craig’s sister I think.

SHITASS: Ew, there’s more than one??

KENNY: Un-fucking-fortunately.

KENNY: Kill ‘em, dung disaster, I love you.

SHITASS: Love you too, miserable cunt.

SHITASS: Welp,

SHITASS: We’re all gonna die.

(Edits made by @pissblanket)

[229zmi]

UNO!

PAIRING: Tsukishima Kei/Reader

CONTENT: reader is Annoying, hinata makes a Ur Mom joke, reader calls tsukishima an egghead, dialogue-heavy, tsukishima and reader are rivals kinda

WORD COUNT: 1.5k

“Plus twenty? Twenty?” you bellow angrily. “You guys are conspiring against me, I just know it!”

Yachi offers what appears to be an apologetic look. “Sorry, [Y/N], you were about to win. What else were we supposed to do?”

“Let me win, obviously? The fuck is wrong with you.”

A tsk escapes you as you reach over the table and start pulling twenty cards from the deck in the middle in a particularly strained manner, like the action causes you immense physical and emotional pain. The group can only watch you with poorly concealed smiles behind their cards.

“It’s just a game, you weirdo,” Kageyama states as a matter of fact, as if he wasn’t prepared to flip over the table some rounds ago when the same thing happened to him. You pause in your movements just to sneer at him and his hypocrisy, your upper lip curling hideously.

However, before things start to turn violent, Yamaguchi, with some impressive prediction skills and reflexes, places a hand on your shoulder to stop you. Though you think the action wouldn’t have done much to stop you physically if you were seriously considering bopping Kageyama in the face, it’s the thought that counts anyway.

“[Y/N], just take the cards.”

“Yeah, [Y/N],” Hinata chimes in. You’re not sure why he bothered because what he said serves no actual purpose whatsoever besides further igniting your inner demons.

“Literally who asked you?”

“Your mother,” he responds intelligently. He even sticks his nose up like one of those high school bullies in the movies, all dignified and everything as if his baddie comeback is something to be proud of. It grates on your nerves more than anything.

“You can’t say that. My mommykins is, like, a super important government official.”

Hinata’s jaw slacks and his eyes widen to the size of very large ping pong balls, and like the gullible motherfucker he is — “Oh my god, really?!”

“Yeah, and she’ll have you, uhm, banished if I tell her you said that, doncha know.”

“Please don’t snitch on me, I won’t say it ever again. Promise!”

You smile passively. “Sure thing... for a price.”

“How m—“

“Put your fucking wallet away, you idiot,” Tsukishima interrupts, having already had enough of your bullshit since long ago. Hinata’s dumbassery was just the cherry on top. “[Y/N], you’re not funny.”

In response, you proceed to further prove his point by producing a noise that resembles that of a red buzzer from one of those Got Talent shows and then don’t say anything else. Unamused by your outwardly offensive action, he narrows his eyes at you, glaring at you as if your behaviour is something detrimental to his health — a disease that can be spread if he so much as accidentally brushes against your shoulder.

“…What was that?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” you accuse.

“That doesn’t really answer my question.”

“I don’t care. What do you know about funny anyway? Egghead,” you add, for emphasis. All Tsukishima does is continue to creepily stare at you, almost scandalised like you’ve just annihilated his entire bloodline.

“Oookay. Let’s just move on!” Yamaguchi splutters with a singular glob of spit flying in the air from how fast he’s speaking. It’s gross, though he does sound a bit anxious, and that makes you feel kind of bad so you ignore it for his sake.

With an overdramatic sigh, you slump against the back of your chair in defeat as you glare at the numerous colourful cards in your hands. “Fine.”

The round continues without any other objections.

You’re about to win. And this time, you’re certain what happened a few rounds ago won’t happen to you again; all of you had just spent your plus two’s and four’s on Kageyama anyway (who did in fact end up flipping the table, although it didn’t really accomplish anything as much as it made a mess all across your living room floor).

“Uno!” you declare, gleefully placing your second to last card down with a dazzling smile.

“I wouldn’t sound so happy this early if I were you,” Tsukishima remarks. You shoot him a glare.

“You will let me win,” you say manipulatively, wiggling your fingers in front of him for the effect of what you believe is hypnotisation.

Unfortunately, he does not fall for your sneaky tactics, and it’s clear by his dry and disappointing answer: “No.”

Yamaguchi places a wild card in the middle and then looks toward everyone for some form of validation. “What colour?”

“Red,” you answer as if the question is for you.

Kageyama narrows his eyes at you. “Are you reverse psychology-ing us right now?”

“Whaaat, no! I don’t even know what that means!”

“That’s because it’s not a real word,” Tsukishima states in a haughty tone.

“Reverse psychology?” you ask. “That’s two words.”

“No, I mean—“

“Tsukishima! Tell us what [Y/N]’s last card is,” Hinata says in a not-so-discreet stage whisper. It doesn’t help either that the two of them are on opposite sides of the table, so everyone in between hears it. Including you.

“Literally what the eff, man, that’s literally cheating,” you protest in a nasally voice, but you’re completely ignored as everyone else seems to be more focused on Hinata’s unethical proposal.

“Why would I do that?” Tsukishima drawls.

“You’re sitting the closest to [Y/N]. C’mon, just take a little, teeny-tiny, itty-bitty peek!”

“If [Y/N] wins, we’ll never hear the end of it,” Yamaguchi comments. It’s meant as an astute observation rather than fuel to add to the fire, but letting you win would mean giving you the dangerous privilege that is bragging rights.

Kageyama nods in agreement. “Do it for the betterment of society.”

“For all of us,” Hinata adds. They’re all being a bit dramatic, you think.

Yachi stays silent, for the fear of potentially provoking a certain someone again.

Tsukishima rolls his eyes, his shoulders slumping with the weight of peer pressure. However, before you can process the situation or have time to defend the anonymity of your last card, you sense an arm snake around to rest upon the back of your chair. You whip your head to the side to see Tsukishima, who’s in closer proximity than you expected. Close enough that you can breathe in the scent of his cologne and note that it’s a little too strong to the point where it’s almost migraine-inducing.

Tsukishima only bothers to take a half-hearted glance at your card before fixating his gaze on you. His eyes, unblinking, noticeably skim your face without even trying to hide it, and you’re tempted to bark out an indignant “What?,” if only it wasn’t for the unusual expression he’s sporting. Unusual, as in his eyebrows aren’t furrowed together like they usually are whenever he’s in your vicinity, and his mouth is looser around the corners instead of downturned.

He appears as if he’s about to say something but then decides against it as he swiftly pushes himself away. Seeing how quick he was to get away from you, you wonder for a moment if your breath stunk or something.

“Green,” he then announces in a disinterested tone.

After you do a quick breath check and conclude that your breath does not in fact stink, you look down at your last card. It’s not green.

But the others have no way of proving that, so Yamaguchi takes the piece of knowledge, blindly accepts it as the truth, and chooses the colour red, believing that’ll stall your victory at least a little longer. However, much to your luck—

“I win!” you exclaim, slamming down your last card, and chaos ensues.

“NO!”

“Stinkyshima, you traitor!”

You hear the sound of a table flipping and another angry shout. In the midst of it all, your eyes meet Tsukishima’s once more. For a couple seconds, there’s a standstill that settles between the two of you as you wait for the other to speak up first.

“You’re welcome,” he says finally, making sure to really emphasise the words.

You scoff at him. “I totally could’ve won this on my own. I had a back-up plan. You just made it a tiny bit easier.”

With an eyeroll, his response is short and simple and strangely compliant, “Okay.” With how often he glares and rolls his eyes and whatnot, you’d think that’s all he does in his free time. Probably practices it in the mirror, too, to make sure he’s expressing the right amount of annoyance.

“But… thanks anyway,” you reluctantly add. You decide to be gracious and omit the you egghead part out of your sentence.

“You’re welcome,” he says again before visibly flushing at the realisation he’d just said the same thing twice. Awk-ward.

Nonetheless, instead of relishing in his moment of embarrassment like he thought you would, you grin and bump shoulders with him, as if the two of you are best buddies now or something. And quite frankly, after seeing you smile like that at him rather than your usual sneer or sleazy smirk, Tsukishima isn’t entirely against the notion.

[suizai]

bro bro. PLEASE JUST LIKE..LOOK UP THE NAME SHAG ON A GOVERMENT COMPUTER THING AND TELL ME THERES NOTHING??? THAT BIRD IS SCARING ME. PLEASE.

UHM! UR ASKING THE WRONG PERSON BUD. i am not a government official so I don't have access to the files~!

[heathenmomma]

Some thoughts I have about Trump’s Inauguration that took place the other day, with direct quotes:

1. “It fails to protect our magnificent, law-abiding American citizens but provides sanctuary and protection for dangerous criminals, many from prisons and mental institutions, that have illegally entered our country from all over the world.”

First of all my guy, fuck you. There’s probably MORE prisoners and mental health patients from our OWN COUNTRY in comparison to immigrants in the same situations.

2. “Our country can no longer deliver basic services in times of emergency…”

Fair point. HOWEVER, I don’t see you out there with the people who are affected by these emergencies/natural disasters even when you were just campaigning. Obama AND Kamala did more than you.

3. “And we have an education system that teaches our children to be ashamed of themselves”- (no tf it does not) - “in many cases, to hate our country despite the love that we try so desperately to provide to them.”

The education system isn’t teaching kids to be ashamed of themselves, that’d be society. Also, neither is it teaching them to “hate our country” y’all do that by yourselves.

He goes on to talk about “national unity” while simultaneously IN THE SAME SPEECH told the LGBTQIA community, to go fuck themselves. Hmmm 🥴

4. “Next, I will direct all members of my cabinet to marshal the vast powers at their disposal to defeat what was record inflation and rapidly bring down costs and prices. The inflation crisis was caused by massive overspending and escalating energy prices…”

Again, NO. Even our president doesn’t understand trickle down economics and it’s sad. HE CREATED THE PROBLEM.

5. “As of today, it will henceforth be the official policy of the United States Government that there are only two genders: male and female.”

This particular part is directed at EVERYBODY. NONE OF US CLAIMED THERE ARE MORE THAN 2 GENDERS. Being transgender is transitioning from one to the other. Transman is someone who transitioned or is transitioning from female to male. Trans woman is someone who transitioned or is transitioning from male to female. Nonbinary/androgyne/genderfluid are people who don’t conform to either one exclusively.

6. “My proudest legacy will be that of a peacemaker and unifier.”

Uhm sir, look in a mirror. You’re doing the complete opposite of BOTH of those. At this rate, we’re going back to the 1940’s. This is NOT progress. This is NOT the “American Dream.” This is H!+ler all over again.

He’s also changed the name of the Gulf of Mexico. Changed the name of Mount Dinali and trying to BUY OTHER COUNTRIES. How do yall not see the problem with that??? We will not have any allies at this point.

Let’s not forget, ELON MUSK did the N🅰️zi salute on LIVE TV and you stupid bastards CHEERED. I have no hope for this country.

[askstar-andbolts]

Event: Clone

The news pops up with a member of the government

"Hello there, we are making it official that all Junko clones and reproductions are to be seized at once, we already have 24 of the 53 in we are just looking for the rest. "

This news doesn't bode well for Astra if they get found out.

Then Miu burst into the room holding a red haired girls hand.

"Astra's gone missing!!! " Miu yelled out

"Uhm Hello, My name is Akari Kanei, I'm the Ultimate Detective, I'm also a good friend of Miu, Astra, and the recently deceased Katsuki."

"Why don't we work together to find Astra? "

It seems that Miu doesn't know of Astra's situation. But It seems Akari knows plenty.

Tagging: @ask-ultimate-mortician @ask-ultimate-fashionista @ask-ultimate-personas @ask-ultimate-hope

@human-monokuma

[ohyespotatous]

Nisa!! how are you? this is just me popping in to give you a boop 💙 I saw your recent post, so glad you've been feeling better, I hope you're completely recovered soon!!

I also wanted to ask, what are some of your fav pieces of literature? I'd love to hear about a book or even just a few lines that have changed your life <3

hope you've been doing well!! lots of love ^=^

Oh my god, Meg!!! Hi~ *boop back 😻

I'm recovered now! Well, I might never fully recover; it's like my regular guest now haha. But I'm in a good state right now! And I'll try my best to keep fit for a long time :) Thanks for checking up on me! How about you? I hope you're happy and healthy always! Good luck with your internship and masters and everything!! 💪❤

Also, thank you for asking about my fav pieces of literature! This is my favorite topic to talk about. So... Uhm.. where do I start? :v

First, it's not easy to discuss literature without separating the works and the authors. Like other types of art, despite their marvelous works, sometimes the artists are not the best people. There's this prose that's close to my heart, but it was written by a problematic author, so it doesn't feel right to discuss it :(

But, if we talk about literature that changed my life, I think I should pay tribute to one of the first books I read. They inspired me to study hard and pursue my dream. It's called The Rainbow Troops by Andrea Hirata. I read it when I was 13 or 14. 

It's about the journey of ten motley students from a tiny elementary school in a rural area trying to pursue their dreams; and their two teachers. One of the teachers calls them the Rainbow Troops because they love to stare at the sky after rain and admire the magnificence of the rainbow.  

These students come from poverty-stricken families, and their school constantly faces threats of closure due to government officials, greedy corporations, natural disasters, and the lack of students' self-confidence. For most of us, school might be a struggle. However, for them, access to education is a luxury. One of the smartest students has to ride his bicycle 40 kilometers over a red gravel road to school daily. His sandals—made of car tires—burnt from pedaling for so long. 

I kept the money carefully in my pocket and never let go of it. Suddenly everyone looked like a thief. Money, indeed, has a cruel influence. – Chapter 40, My Promise to Bu Mus 

I was disappointed that so many intelligent children were forced to leave school for economic reasons. I cursed all of the stupid people who arrogantly acted smart. I hated those children of the rich who threw away their educations. – Chapter 46, His Third Promise

-

Gosh, the discrimination towards the lower class frustrated me! But their innocent childhood and the dynamic of rural life warm my heart. Their friendship and persistence in pursuing their dreams were also inspiring. 

But what I know for sure from my own experience at the poor school is that a hard-working life is like picking up fruit from a basket with a blindfold on. Whatever fruit we end up getting, at least we have fruit. Meanwhile, life without hard work is like looking for a black cat in a dark room with closed eyes, and the cat is not even there. – Chapter 48, Don't Give Up

I decided on my dream college right after I finished the book. Was I accepted to that school? Yes, in four years. Did I succeed in graduating from that school? That's a different story lol.

But anyway, it might not be the fanciest literature I've ever read, but it surely has a place in my heart. 

Sorry for the long answer >,< But thanks so much for the ask, Meg!!! It really made my day~ hehe 🐈💌🌿

[yosanomwah]

I am super obsessed with the ADA’s lore so, I wrote a full timeline of the organisation from the info I could gather from the show and light novels so uhm, here is a revised recap of the history of the Armed Detective Agency and its members:

11 years ago: Fukuzawa, accompanied by fifteen-year-old Ranpo Edogawa, meets Natsume Soseki to establish the Armed Detective Agency. With the skilled business permit granted by Soseki, the agency officially begins its operations. Prior to this, Fukuzawa and Ranpo had been working as detectives for a year unofficially.

Fukuzawa's purpose in starting the agency is to "help others" and uphold justice by protecting the weak and fighting against injustice. He recognizes the need for a team of allies, not just Ranpo, who possess strength and kindness, to ensure the agency's legacy.

Sometime after obtaining the permit, Fukuzawa holds an opening party attended by Ranpo and Fukuchi Ouchi, during which Fukuchi causes a ruckus while intoxicated.

Approximately 10 years ago: Fukuzawa becomes aware of Mori Ougai's plan to capture Yosano Akiko, who is residing in a mental institution at the time. Fukuzawa fights against Mori to prevent him from reaching Yosano. Meanwhile, Ranpo convinces Yosano to join the agency as its personal physician, making her the second member. It is around this time that Kunikida is also recruited, although the exact timeline is unclear.

The agency acquires its current building sometime after Yosano's joining but before Dazai's entrance exam. At this point, the third floor remains vacant. The building includes an office floor, a reception area, a conference room, the president's office, an infirmary, an operating room, and a kitchenette. The agency also employs several unnamed office workers who primarily handle paperwork. Haruno is one of these workers, and while it's not specified when she joined, she has a closer relationship with the detectives compared to other office workers.

Katai is believed to have joined the agency around this time, becoming friends with Kunikida ten years ago and officially joining a few months later. After being locked in the agency building by an office clerk, Katai decides to live there full-time. However, he eventually leaves the agency, though the exact timeline is unknown.

Kunikida mentions that the agency was attacked and shot up at-least once at some point between 10 and 8 years ago. The agency also already has a feud with the Port Mafia during this period.

The agency establishes connections with government agencies and military personnel and begins conducting written and field tests for potential employees. Entrance exams become a regular practice, with Kunikida being the first to undergo the exam. The agency also obtains authorization to wield guns and knives under certain conditions.

Approximately 4 years ago: Dazai, having left the mafia at the age of 18, learns about the agency from Taneda. However, he must wait for two years to have his record cleared before joining.

Approximately 2 years ago: Dazai finally has his record wiped and officially joins the agency after passing the entrance exam conducted by Kunikida. During this time, Rozuko assists the agency but is not an official member. He attempts to break into the agency's archives three months before Dazai's joining. The agency is already prepared for cyberattacks at this point.

The agency gains media attention and is referred to as a "private detective agency." They face controversy and public backlash, with complaints pouring in and protestors gathering outside their building, even going so far as to throw rocks at some members (Dazai) when heading to work.

Approximately 1 year ago: The exact timing of the Tanizaki siblings' joining is unknown, but Junichiro mentions that he was the second-to-last ranking agent before Atsushi joined. Junichiro's entrance exam had occurred earlier but was so traumatic that he blocked the memory.

Approximately 2 months ago: Fukuzawa scouts Kenji after learning about his heroic actions during a flood in his village. Kenji becomes a part-time detective at the agency.

The events of the BSD anime series begin with Atsushi joining the agency and going through his entrance exam. He meets all the members, including Dazai, Kunikida, Tanizaki, Yosano, Ranpo, Kenji, and Fukuzawa. A few weeks later, Atsushi brings Kyouka into the agency, and she undergoes an entrance exam led by Dazai before officially becoming a member.

Please note that the timeline may not be exact, as some details are not explicitly mentioned or may vary between different sources. If there’s something clearly wrong, pls tell me? Anyway this was just for me but I thought no harm in posting it just in case anyone is ever wondering ab the timeline sooo here

[kittygamer2888]

*The information of the folders, albeit a bit graphic with their descriptions, told enough of a story.*

*After Project Shadow was seized, years later was studied and soon a new project by the government was initiated in secret: Project Starborn*

*Project Starborn was sought to discover the other magic types, after the discovery of traces of dark magic within Project Shadow. They eventually discovered ten unique types that still exist to this day: Chaos, Harmony, Fire, Earth, Wind, Water, Light, Dark, Corruption, and Psychic.*

*After some further research, it was found out that Chaos energy commonly stabilized mobians to let their magic function properly. And so, a hypothesis was proposed: Can a Mobian survive without chaos energy as a stabilizer?*

*Phase two was initiated, and the project took ten more years to create 1006 specimen, each with their own magic type except Chaos energy.*

*But many different survive. Some melted, some broke apart just like their minds, and some went insane before they had to be killed off, begging for mercy in their last moments.*

*And out of those 1006 experiments... Only three survived: V18, S36, and S23.*

*V18 is a magenta and pink wolf with deep cyan eyes, holding dark magic. They ran away from the lab but it was discovered by the military that they are still alive.*

*S36 is a white seven tailed kitsune with yellow eyes possessing both light magic and traces of Harmony magic. They were known as the kindest and sweetest creature, always trying to heal the wounded and help out. They're the only officially successful prototype.*

*And then, the one they were desperate to get right... S23 for corruption magic. A black wolf with purple eyes, the exact one that took the Master Emerald. Their power always leaked onto their body, and their section was extensive over incidents, punishments (featuring sensory deprivation and electrocution), and the amount of control and restraint they forced on them. It sounded very... Torturous. And after having them survive for so long, considered it a good idea to change them into a bio-weapon for wars, altering her DNA and training them further into a super soldier. However, they had too many breakdowns and couldn't continue, almost being executed before they were declared "Safe Enough" and let go.*

*The project ended after the last of the day experiments died out on their own.*

*And it was... So many innocent lives of mobians. All created in a lab, never able to see the light of day, and died before they could feel the warmth of the sun and the freedom of nature and the skies.*

*It was 3/1006, a 0.3% success rate. Exceedingly low, dangerous, and reckless of a project. And every single file has been kept under wraps and classified from the general public, just like Project Shadow.*

Tails:

"I-I.... I don't know what to say... everything in this.. it..

It all sounds horrible... no one should have to go through this.! Oh geez....

I-I uhm... I'm assuming S23 is the wolf mobian that stole the Master Emerald. The description of what you've told me about them match up with the description here..

Hmm...

this... corruption power seems to be really powerful from what I'm reading.

How in the world are we going to fight against them if we ever meet them later.?

I-I should tell Knuckles... i-i feel like he could use this information so he could be prepared to what's to come once he and Shadow find the Master Emerald along with that wolf mobian, and of course, Maurice as well."

[rontra]

isn’t Helena Wayne CTDE edition from a different universe. Which of the dc canon Helena Waynes are from another universe. is it only #3? Is it all of them?

HREHBGFBH okay so i omitted the actual like Lore Details about her in the other post bc it was mostly about the Out-Of-Universe Timeline but YEAH THAT TENDS TO HAPPEN ... its like... god

THE ANSWER IS YES!!! AT LEAST 2 OF THE 3 ARE FROM A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE SOMEHOW including the one CTDE Helena is taking from. god you know the drill by now. the rest of the post is optional details (+ your other abhorrent ask)(❤)

ok just to do this Quick And Dirty (And Don't Fact Check Me On This) style. do NOT @ me im already fighting for my life as it is. and some of this is probably wrong . but

Helena Wayne I - back in the day dc was like "(eyebrow raising emoji) our ww2 veteran guys are getting kinda...Old...." so they more or less split the Ye Olde versions of the characters out into their own earth so A) they could continue having their lives and times in the retirement home dimension while DC could have Newer Fresher stuff to play with in the "main" universe--and B) it'd explain how the legacy guys could still exist and show up in current stuff alongside newer incarnations of the same ideas. the DC Classics realm (home of the golden age) and the DC New Shit realm (home of the silver age) if you will

over in the DC Classics Realm (not its actual name) (it's "Earth Two" actually) lots of the old heroes have like children or proteges of some description, since they're Older And All That. some of us are trying to retire! so in the Earth Two dimension after catwoman serves jail time for her crimes (LOL) she and batman get married and retire and raise helena wayne-

so helena wayne I is indeed from "Earth Two" and she's besties with power girl who also lives there. characters could pretty freely visit each other across the realms using like a teleporter device thingy so it wasn't really a big deal at this time. the Old Guard and Current Guys would team up all the time. it was chill

(Catwoman Dying is the incident that makes her pick up the Huntress Thing and later on Old Batdad Dies As Well, so helena wayne I is officially ORPHANED🗣 and when she's visiting the DC New Shit realm she calls the other (younger) batman "uncle bruce" and that's very cute to me.)

then a building falls on her and the entire multiverse collapses as we mentioned before

Helena Wayne II - keep in mind its been 25 years realtime and we're in a completely new arrangement of the entire dc multiverse at this point, but helena II and power girl are from an "Earth 2" where all the guys are older, uhm,

CRUCIALLY HOWEVER Earth 2 is under siege by planet fucking apokolips and you can't just freely hop between the realms from any ol teleporter. so when helena II and her government assigned kara get thrown out of their home earth they can't just go back. in this version they're stuck on the other earth together as the only two bitches from their earth. and navigating that + figuring out how the fuck to get back to "Earth 2" (which last they saw was on fire and exploding due to apocalypse war) occupies the bulk of their initial run. their storyline gets way less good once they figure it out and go home but that's how these things tend to go isnt it

anyway in this incarnation, she's Robin first! then catwoman dies (doomed to go first i guess) and a bit later batman explodes during the apocalypse war thing. once she gets stranded helena II picks up the Huntress Thing. so she is also OFFICIALLY ORPHANED 🗣

she calls the other (younger) batman "not-dad" which is a little less cute but she also off-hand mentions that superman was her godfather which raised a few questions for me personally. did clark kent present you at baptism or is he just like your Secular Godfather

as you can see this is overtly the version CTDE Helena is borrowing material from (trapped in a realm with helena wayne!!) but technically yes both I and II are from a "different" earth, just, one has free travel and is chill while the other one doesnt and is exploding, MDSHJBGFS

Helena Wayne III - time traveler. as far as i know she's probably from the same earth, just the future? i'm gonna be real i'm not as versed in her material (and there isn't a lot of it atm either). but the future she comes from doesn't exist anymore due to her actions, so she IS stranded / doesn't have a place to go back to. she IS a continuity anomaly who "shouldn't exist" but i THINK she only traveled through time and not dimensions. MAYBE. i DONT KNOW IF THATS TRUE

anyway her batman got murdered before she left. i think catwoman was still alive im not actually sure? but anyway this helena's future ceased to exist, so is that technically being orphaned? shes Existentially Orphaned. the Timeline That Created Her is dead. anyway she calls batman "dad" :)

to address your other question,

BE QUIET!!!!!

but yeah ❤ well her not-dad but i doubt that helps. hope this answers your questionHBJFDF

[xephsuggestions]

THE FOLLOWING IS AN OFFICIAL BROADCAST OF YOGLABS CORP. PRODUCTIONS.

Parasitic infestation.

FAN CONTENT / IN-RP LORE.

Inspired by Forge Lab’s Parasites modpack. (video inspiration x)

Showcasing: Scape and Run: Parasites.

(Tws: Violence, guns and weapons, gore, major character death, general discussion of apocalyptic scenarios, infestations, parasites, and alien/insect-like creatures, as well as unreality. Links to mobs will contain body horror and gore imagery. Other links are references to past characters, quotes, music and other fun bits. Please send a direct message or an anon through the inbox if you need additional tags!)

Playing (Gay_Activity_Richardson.mp3) … (30s).

XEPHOS: Lets see if I can get this thing working.

Xephos is leading a pig to the treadmill of a shell constructor. After some difficulty, it climbs onto the treadmill and begins to run. 

XEPHOS: Dammit- there. There. There you are.

Slowly, Honeydew forms from the white mesh generated by the pig’s movement. The chamber opens. The sounds of steam and machinery shifting fill the break room as Honeydew climbs out. 

XEPHOS: It’s been a while, hasn’t it. We haven’t made one of you for ages. (muttering) Hopefully you aren’t a defect. Ah…?

HONEYDEW: Hello!

XEPHOS: Hello, Honeydew, and welcome… to Yoglabs. How are you doing, then? You feel alright? You feel… ah, stable? Not like your molecules could, you know, rip apart at any second? 

HONEYDEW: I’m good! I'm good, yeah.

Xephos claps his hands together.

XEPHOS: Perfect! Well, I don’t mean to alarm you, Honeydew, but… ah, what are you doing?

HONEYDEW: Is the coffee machine working yet? Has it got any snacks in, as well, or?

XEPHOS: Um- well- Careful, The coffee machine is- (sputtering)- Honeydew, I wouldn’t- Honeydew approaches the coffee machine and presses the ‘dispense’ button on the hopper.

[Spawning (srparasites:rupter)(srparasites:rupter)(srparasites:rupter)]

HONEYDEW: What the fuck! 

XEPHOS: Oh shh-sugar… Hang on! Hang on.

Xephos equips a flamethrower from his inventory and aims it at the Rupters.

HONEYDEW: Oh my god! Oh my god! They’re like, spiders or- what are those things-?! Jesus-!

XEPHOS: Honeydew, get out of the way! 

Xephos shoots his flamethrower at the swarm, incinerating them. 

Xephos unequips the flamethrower.

XEPHOS: Ugh. This is a mess. When has that coffee machine ever worked? 

HONEYDEW: (laughing nervously) I figured it wouldn’t, but I wasn’t expecting Satan’s headlice to come out of it!

XEPHOS: We have a bit of an… infestation. It’s localized to the coffee machine, at the moment. 

HONEYDEW: Well, that’s good, then. It’s fine, as long as nobody actually uses the coffee machine. 

XEPHOS: Right. Except… (sucks in air through teeth) well, there is the rest of the world, that is, infected, as well.

HONEYDEW: Oh. 

The HEROES are silent for 20 seconds.

HONEYDEW: Well, it could be worse. 

XEPHOS: Ahm…

HONEYDEW: No, it really couldn’t, could it? (laughs) Fuck! That’s really bad, actually. That’s quite bad.

XEPHOS: Ah, well- Hold on.

Xephos equips a diamond sword from his inventory and slays the pig that had been running on the treadmill. Grey spirals swirl in the air around it.

HONEYDEW: Jesus. 

XEPHOS: It was infected. 

Xephos turns to Honeydew. He motions for Honeydew to follow him, and walks out into the main corridor. 

XEPHOS: We have it under control at Yoglabs. But it is actually quite the problem, so, we’re… helping!

HONEYDEW: Aren't we the bad guys, though? 

XEPHOS: Uhm… 

HONEYDEW: Isn’t that what you said, before? That Yoglabs was an evil corporation or- something?

XEPHOS: I mean… we are a… little bit evil. But we’ve, ah… 

HONEYDEW: We’ve turned a new leaf, haven’t we? 

XEPHOS: Right, we have!

HONEYDEW: Do we have lawyers at Yoglabs? They must make a bloody fortune. 

XEPHOS: Ha! They would, wouldn’t they? But no, we don’t really need them. We, uhm. We’re- we’re definitely not using any of Yoglabs tech to take Yoglabs off of the map and erase the memories from any government agents looking for us. Uhm. 

HONEYDEW: Uhm. Right. Ah… 

Xephos laughs.

XEPHOS: Anyways, we’re going to be taking a look at more of those parasites today. We might even be able to take the front lines, and-

HONEYDEW: You mean outside?

XEPHOS: I do! Isn’t that exciting? 

HONEYDEW: Oh, please, can we go? I hear that outside air these days is just delicious. 

XEPHOS: Well, it’s not… exactly, great out there. It’s like I said before, it was ravaged by war, and uh, monsters. And now, it’s been taken over by parasites. So, not great. 

HONEYDEW: Oh. 

XEPHOS: There are a lot of new weapons that you’ll get to try today, though. 

HONEYDEW: Alright, I’m in. 

Xephos approaches an empty testing chamber.

XEPHOS: For the love of god, do not touch anything, Honeydew. Not without my authoritization. If any of these got out, and we were unprepared...

HONEYDEW: Oh my god!

The room is full of glass chambers. Each one holds an increasingly large and horrifying creature. Dozens of eyes flicker towards the HEROES, and the room fills with the sounds of hissing and squelching.

XEPHOS: …It would be a bloody disaster. Worse than the teletubbies, even. 

HONEYDEW: I think I’m gonna be sick. 

XEPHOS: Just, take a moment and calm down. If you can’t handle these things now, then you can’t come outside with me. 

Honeydew straightens his back.

HONEYDEW: I’m fine! I’m fine. Just a little… (gag), I had one too many Jaffa Cakes at tea time, that’s all. 

XEPHOS: This is just a very small portion of all of the different creatures we’ve discovered. Unfortunately, we’re not able to contain all of them safely, at the moment. (Sigh) Some of them are just too big, or would be too dangerous to bring in. That’s one of the reasons we’re going to pop outside and take a look ourselves, later. 

So, the infestation works in stages. 

Xephos equips a book from his inventory and hands it to Honeydew. Upon opening it, Honeydew grimaces. The book is dozens of pages long, and each page is full of numbers and statistics relating to the Phases system included in Scape and Run: Parasites. 

Xephos retrieves his own copy and flips through it.

XEPHOS: Different things can happen in each stage, but, basically, depending on how many ‘points’ the parasites in the world can get, the more they’ll sort of, change, upgrade, and multiply, until the world is completely overrun with them. 

As Xephos continues to talk, Honeydew spies a hole in the wall labeled “INCINERATOR: PLEASE DISPOSE OF PARASITICAL ENTITIES AND THEIR WASTE PRODUCTS ONLY.” XEPHOS: In the first stage, the only parasites in the world are these, grub-looking things. 

Honeydew throws the book into the incinerator, then returns to Xephos’ side.

HONEYDEW: Aw, it’s a little babby! Wait- no, this thing is…

XEPHOS: It’s kind of a babby, yeah. It's the first stage. They don’t attack or anything. Really, they just sort of, run away. Here. I’ll let it out. 

Xephos breaks the glass, and the newly spawned Buglin runs into the corner of the room. Xephos equips a crossbow and kills it in a single hit.

XEPHOS: The thing is, you have to kill these things rather quickly? Because they can evolve, you see. And after a while, they’ll turn into-

Xephos walks over to a container with even bigger monsters, all crawling against the glass in a futile attempt to escape.

HONEYDEW: Oh, these are the things that were in the coffee machine!

XEPHOS: Exactly. See, they didn’t start as these buggers. It started as those little grubs, and they got left unchecked, and they started to evolve, like this. These things attack in groups. By the way, did you notice that we’ve both been inflicted with the Call of the Hive effect? 

HONEYDEW: We have? I don’t feel any different. 

XEPHOS: You shouldn’t. You see, when these parasites make contact with any living creature, it gives them this effect. For us, it’s not really a problem, unless we become seriously infected, or die. As for everything else, they’ll end up becoming, sort of, assimilated into the parasitic hivemind. 

HONEYDEW: It’s like that movie with Kurt Russell in… The Thing. 

XEPHOS: Yes, it’s a lot like that, actually.

HONEYDEW: "If It Takes Us Over, Then It Has No More Enemies, Nobody Left To Kill It. And Then It's Won."

XEPHOS: Right. But we won’t let that happen. 

HONEYDEW: Yeah!

XEPHOS: Anyhow, after the Rupter- that thing in the cage- gets about 40 kills, it will continue to evolve. The Manglers are one of many parasites that can actually adapt to sources of damage. 

HONEYDEW: Manglers, is that what they’re called. Not exactly…

XEPHOS: It’s not a nice name, is it?

HONEYDEW: It’s fitting though, jesus. 

The Mangler shrieks. 

Honeydew shudders.

XEPHOS: So, you understand the evolution system and the adaptation system, correct?

HONEYDEW: Yeah, I think so. 

XEPHOS: And you read that book, so, you understand how the phases work? 

HONEYDEW: Um… yeah, I did. But uhm… just to be safe, why don’t you explain it to me again anyways?

XEPHOS: (sigh) Well, it’s quite… complicated. Basically, the more points that the parasites get, they evolve, and the world progresses in Phases. We start at Phase 0, yeah? And it exponentially escalates all the way to Phase 7. By then, the Reinforcement system comes in, and Parasites are able to create their own habitats and biomes using beckons. They just get nastier and stronger and can have special abilities, as well. 

HONEYDEW: And what phase is the world in, currently? 

XEPHOS: Uhm… well, actually, we can use the Bloody Clock to track it. Here, take a look. 

Xephos tosses the bloody clock at Honeydew, and misses. Honeydew scrambles to pick it up.

XEPHOS: Oh, fuck. 

HONEYDEW: It’s fine! It’s fine. Uhm… right, so, it says ‘Phase 0’, that’s good, right?

XEPHOS: That’s very good. 

HONEYDEW: But I thought you said the world was… completely taken over. Shouldn't it at least be a little bit higher?

XEPHOS: Uhm… (nervous laughter) Well, you must’ve broken it, then It must be broken. Because really, we should be at Phase 7 about now. The entire world has just become this, awful, just- awful, parasitic biome. 

HONEYDEW: Oi! You’re the one that dropped it!

XEPHOS: Oh, right. Well… it’s fine. I already knew what phase we were at anyways, so, it’s no big. There’s another thing I wanted to show you, before we get into, you know, the armor and everything. Come with me. 

The HEROES leave the testing room. An armed testificate passes them and walks into the chamber. Squelching and gunshots can be heard. 

HONEYDEW: Is he alright in there?

XEPHOS: Oh, definitely. Don’t worry about it. Anyways, I wanted to show this to you as a sort of… cautionary tale. You see, COTH can spread quite quickly, so you have to be careful, alright? In here. 

The HEROES walk for a long time, passing the Med-bay and entering the cloning bay. 

HONEYDEW: So, how long did it take for the parasites to take over the world? 

XEPHOS: Oh, just a few weeks, really. 

HONEYDEW: A few weeks!? How did I not notice?

XEPHOS: Well you’ve, uhm, been on holiday, remember?

HONEYDEW: Oh, right. 

XEPHOS: Was it nice, there? At the sort of… beach, you were at? 

HONEYDEW: It was, actually. It was quite nice. I had… lots of piña coladas, did some skinny dipping in the ocean…

XEPHOS: Oh. Uhm. 

HONEYDEW: It was quite nice!

XEPHOS: Yeah, those holosuites… quite easy to, get stuck in. 

HONEYDEW: Once you go in, you never want to leave!

XEPHOS: You can live in whatever reality you want. 

HONEYDEW: Yeah!

XEPHOS: Where all of your friends are alive and they like you and you aren’t the head of an evil megacorporation at war with the government. 

HONEYDEW: Uhm… yeah… right. 

XEPHOS: And infinite jaffas. 

HONEYDEW: Okay, I'm back on, infinite jaffas! And lots of holes. 

XEPHOS: Oh, yes, hole-topia. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?

HONEYDEW: Ooh, saucy! 

XEPHOS: Al..right, we’re here. 

The HEROES stand above a Secure Containment Cell.

HONEYDEW: Oh my God, is that Lalnable Hector?

XEPHOS: Uhm- well-

HONEYDEW: He’s looking quite worse for wear, nowadays, isn’t he?

XEPHOS: If you would listen to me, you’d know that this isn’t Lalnable Hector. 

HONEYDEW: Oh, really?

XEPHOS: Yeah. Lalnable escaped ages ago. 

HONEYDEW: What!?

XEPHOS: Right. It’s totally under control.

HONEYDEW: Who is it then? Is it Lalna?

XEPHOS: It’s a… clone of him, alright. 

LALNA: Honeydew, you have to get me the hell out of here! 

HONEYDEW: Oh, dear. What happened to him?

LALNA: I don’t know what he told you, but you can’t listen to him, Honeydew! Xephos is- he’s evil, Honeydew! He’s a bloody terrorist! He wants to take over the world!

XEPHOS: He was… unfortunately, infected. Little does he know, he’s more parasite than human, now. 

HONEYDEW: No! Oh my god, Lalna!

XEPHOS: He may try to manipulate you, in order to spread more of the infection. Just stay close to me, would you?

Lalna bangs on the glass.

LALNA: He’s lying, god damn it! Let me out! Let me out!

HONEYDEW: What do we do? 

XEPHOS: Well, luckily, the COTH hasn’t spread to his other clones. So all we need to do is kill him, and then, well, he won’t even remember ever being infected at all. 

LALNA: WHAT!?

XEPHOS: That’s right! We’re going to fix you, Lalna, and take all of those little parasites and traitorous thoughts right out of your brain!

LALNA: But you don’t understand- I’m not infected with anything! I was working at Hole Diggers Inc, and the place got swarmed!

XEPHOS: Right, with parasites-

LALNA: With your army, Xephos! And they took me here and- put me in this box and gave me this awful coffee and-! Honeydew, you have to believe me! 

HONEYDEW: God, this is horrible. Horrible! This is an absolute nightmare!

XEPHOS: I know. I’m sorry you have to see this, Honeydew. It’s quite sad. You know, on the bright side, this should take care of your flux infection too, Lalna! Since we have to replace you with one of the Honeydew Inc. clones. You’re welcome!

HONEYDEW: Can we just get it over with and move on?

XEPHOS: Yep. 

Xephos nods at a nearby guard, who’s armed with a M249 light machine gun.

LALNA: Xephos, I swear, I won’t tell anybody else if you just-

XEPHOS: Too late. Alright, say ‘bye Lalna!’

LALNA: Xephos please!

HONEYDEW: Bye Lal-

Gunshots.

[LividCoffee succumed to the infection]

[spawning (srparasites:sim_adventurer)].

Squelching. More gunshots. Alien shrieking. 

XEPHOS: I told you he was infected. 

HONEYDEW: Oh my God! That was horrible!

XEPHOS: It’s alright, Honeydew. Now that that problem is sorted, let’s go to the armory and suit up. 

(Part ½)