#instead i tried to capture the feel of their dynamic in one shot

[infizero]

Why Ambrosius and Ballister’s Relationship Feels So Different in the Movie (Nimona)

As someone who read Nimona countless times growing up, I am very familiar with the story and these characters. Which is why when I watched the movie, I was struck by how different Ambrosius and Ballister felt. They seemed like totally different and unfamiliar characters to me, and it didn’t have anything to do with their designs.

After rereading the original Nimona graphic novel recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that the main reason they feel like completely different characters in the movie comes down to one thing: the removal of the joust.

When I watched the movie, I was surprised by the fact that they changed the circumstances that drove these two apart. But it didn’t hit me just how much this one event shapes both of their characters and their relationship to each other until I reread the book. 

The joust is CRUCIAL to their dynamic. It pervades every interaction they have with each other, they bring it up constantly, it is literally the crux of their collective storyline. We learn about it on PAGE 5 of the whole book, and their big heart-to-heart when Ballister is captured near the climax of the story is based around Ambrosius finally admitting the truth about what happened. Honestly I’d say that him finally coming to terms with what he did and apologizing for it is probably what allowed these two to finally find peace together by the end of the book.

We get something similar to it in the movie. Ambrosius still is responsible for Ballister losing his arm, but it is under WILDLY different circumstances. So I want to talk about how the joust affects them in the book, and then explain why the movie’s version of events, while similar on the surface, has a completely different effect on everything. So let’s get into it!

(All images of the book are via pictures of my own physical copy btw, so apologies if they’re not the best quality.)

(Also I want to make it clear that I don’t hate the movie nor its adaptation of these two. I do personally greatly prefer the book, but this post is not here to tear down the movie and exclaim that the book was way better. I just find it interesting how changing one event can have huge ripple effects!)

Part 1: The Graphic Novel (AKA: “My Boyfriend Shot Off My Arm Because of His Wild Ambition!”)

Like I said before, we learn about the joust very early on; Chapter 2, page 5. It is told to us first via Ballister’s perspective. Nimona asks if she can kill Ambrosius while they’re making evil plans, and Ballister says no -- if anyone is going to kill Ambrosius, it’s going to be him. We then get a flashback to the joust itself.

Ballister explains how they were friends and how the joust was the first time they had been pitted against each other. Ballister won fair and square, but in his words:

BALLISTER: “but Ambrosius hates to lose.”

BALLISTER: “He always claimed it was an accident. No one could prove otherwise.”

BALLISTER: “Turns out the Institution had no use for a one-armed hero. I took the only other viable option.”

Ambrosius used a weaponized lance and blasted Ballister’s arm off. After the incident, Ballister was rejected by the Institution, and became a villain instead of the hero he had originally set out to be.

In Chapter 3 we see Ambrosius appear for the first time, and he and Ballister have a very relaxed sort of cartoon hero-villain dynamic going on. There’s definitely real animosity between them, but they don’t hesitate to simply talk casually to each other or help each other when things go south. It’s all pretty lighthearted and lowkey. 

They fight briefly, but after Nimona triggers the building they’re in to self-destruct, Ambrosius doesn’t hesitate to help Ballister escape and Ballister doesn’t hesitate to accept his help. Ambrosius even tries to reassure him that Nimona will be fine. After they make it out, with Nimona presumed dead, Ambrosius puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him to go before more guards show up. They may be “arch-nemesises”, but they certainly don’t act like it.

AMBROSIUS: “Haven’t you missed our fights? We haven’t done this since you tried to clone the king’s daughter!”

BALLISTER: “Ambrosius, I really don’t have time for this.”

AMBROSIUS: “Are you trying to make me jealous?”

BALLISTER: “You’re an idiot.”

By the way, I’m not going to be doing a full breakdown of every single scene with them, don’t worry. I just think that their first interaction shows off their dynamic very well. This is presumably how they’ve been with each other since the incident, as it’s made clear both here and throughout the book that they’ve both been doing this for a while at this point. They have a very established dynamic, which is important as that is one of the big differences between the book and the movie. (I’ll get into that more later.)

Whenever these two interact throughout the book, it’s clear that they have very different opinions on the incident that drove them apart and how their relationship functions now.

Ambrosius tries to act like it was simply an accident and that it doesn’t matter. Ballister became a villain of his own volition, and now they are arch-nemesises who have to fight because that’s their job -- though he doesn’t exactly act like he hates Ballister. 

Meanwhile Ballister saw it as a deep betrayal, and while he definitely still cares deeply about Ambrosius, he cannot get over the incident as easily as Ambrosius can.

Their respective feelings about what happened are shown perfectly in the scene in Chapter 7 where Ambrosius invites Ballister to meet with him in secret. Ambrosius tells him that the Institution has ordered him to kill Nimona and begs him to send her away, both so he doesn’t have to kill her and so things can go back to “normal.” Ballister then says that Ambrosius gave up normal at the joust.

AMBROSIUS: “I can’t believe you’re still hung up about that. It was a long time ago, you know.”

AMBROSIUS: “Besides, it was an ACCIDENT.”

BALLISTER: “I bet you’ve said that so many times you’ve started to actually believe it.”

Ambrosius insists it was an accident, and Ballister claims that he blasted off his arm because he couldn’t stand that Ballister was better than him. This sets Ambrosius off and they begin to argue.

AMBROSIUS: “You can’t blame me for how your life turned out! You made the choice to turn evil!”

BALLISTER: “Choice? I never had a choice! The Institution needed a villain. That lot fell to me. I never chose it.”

BALLISTER “And it could just as easily have been you, had that “accident” happened differently!”

AMBROSIUS: “Oh please! Do you really believe that?”

AMBROSIUS: “You never had it in you to be a hero! Everyone always knew that you were going to be the one to go bad!”

Ambrosius has convinced himself that Ballister chose to become evil, and that he isn’t responsible for what happened because it was an accident. We later learn that it wasn’t an accident though, which means that this really is him just making excuses so he doesn’t have to accept responsibility.

Ballister brings up the idea of Ambrosius becoming like him again after they fight, in one of if not my favorite scene between them in the whole book:

AMBROSIUS: “uugghh”

BALLISTER: “What if I cut off your arm right now?”

BALLISTER: “Then you’d see how fast the Institution would cast you aside. Just like they did me.”

AMBROSIUS: “You wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “No, I wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “And I’m the villain.”

BALLISTER: “What do you suppose that says about you?”

Ballister and Ambrosius are both very complicated individuals, and I think they lose a lot of their moral grayness in the movie. (Which I will get to later.) 

Ambrosius is the “hero”, but it was his ambition that drove him to blast Ballister’s arm off, and he’s never accepted responsibility for it, instead trying to convince himself that Ballister turned out this way because of his own actions. But he doesn’t disagree here that the Institution would throw him out if he were to lose his own arm, which I think is very telling. He knows deep down that he is not a good person, and he is not working for good people. But he doesn’t want to admit it.

Ballister is the “villain”, but in many ways he is better than Ambrosius. He abides by his own rules of never killing unless it’s necessary, and goes out of his way throughout the book to make sure that as few people are harmed as possible. He knows that the Institution is corrupt, because he was one of the people it failed. And he works to try and bring it down. 

Ambrosius cannot accept what happened, and because of that they aren’t able to get anywhere. They both know it wasn’t an accident. But because Ambrosius cannot admit it, they are stuck like this.

It’s a fascinating part of Ambrosius’ character that though he is adamant about Ballister being the one to destroy himself, he still cares about him. Much more openly than Ballister does in return, in fact. Ambrosius consistently does whatever he can to avoid having to kill him and always seems to have his wellbeing in mind. While he initially refused to kill Nimona, revolted at the idea that he should be ordered to kill “a little girl”, he eventually agrees to do so, but only under the condition that Ballister would be spared.

THE DIRECTOR: “Your motivations are quite transparent. I KNOW what the nature of your relationship was. I made it clear at the time that I disapproved. If your fixation on him has impeded your ability to do your job, then he truly has outlived his usefulness.”

THE DIRECTOR: “We’ll find you a new nemesis. Perhaps you will be more competent without Blackheart as a distraction.”

AMBROSIUS: “I won’t kill him. If you demand I kill the girl, I’ll do it - but I won’t kill him.”

Despite him and Ballister’s separation being his fault, he is the one who wishes most for things to go back to the way they were.  And this is likely why he refuses to accept responsibility about the joust. If it were truly an accident, then there shouldn’t be anything preventing them from continuing to be together. By painting it as an accident, Ballister becomes the villain for refusing to move on and let things go back to the way they were, not Ambrosius.

But finally, after Nimona disappears and Ballister lets himself be captured, we get probably the most important scene between these two. Ambrosius has been demoted due to his failure to kill Nimona, and is now forced to guard Ballister’s cell. Ambrosius is at his lowest that he’s been throughout the story, disgraced and discarded by the Institution who he had always been so loyal to.

It’s notable that Ambrosius says here that they both know Ballister is not evil, since he has been paddling that idea this whole time that Ballister made the choice to turn evil. By admitting that he is not, it shows that he is both starting to turn against the Institution, and starting to be more honest about what really happened.

Naturally, after Ambrosius wonders how things ended up like this and reminisces on when they were together, Ballister once again brings up the joust. And finally...

AMBROSIUS: “I- I never wanted to hurt you. I- I didn’t- It was-”

BALLISTER: “Don’t you dare try to tell me again that it was an accident.”

AMBROSIUS: “It wasn’t.”

...he admits the truth.

Ambrosius shares his side of the story, letting both us and Ballister in on what really happened that day. It wasn’t fully his fault -- the Director had called him into her office the night before the joust and told him that he had promise, that he was her choice out of the two, but that he had to prove himself against Ballister or that opportunity would go away.

On the day of the joust, Ambrosius received a weaponized lance instead of his regular one, which he instantly noticed. He asked what the Director expected him to do with it, and was told that she expected him to win.

To Ambrosius’ credit, he had no intention of using it, as he was confident that he would win. But the weight from the weaponized lance threw his balance off, and he ending up losing. And so...

AMBROSIUS: “I wanted it, more than anything. You never wanted it as much as me. You were just BETTER, without hardly even seeming to try.”

AMBROSIUS: “I don’t even remember- but I must have-”

[...]

AMBROSIUS: “I’m sorry, Ballister. I’m so sorry.”

To be fair, Ambrosius is not entirely to blame here. I doubt he would’ve come up with this idea on his own; he only acted on it because the Director had already given him the weaponized lance, and stressed the night before that the opportunities she dangled in front of him would not be given to him if he did not win. He was manipulated.

But he still made the decision to do it. He could’ve simply not used the lance. But he chose to. It is his fault.

It’s fascinating that the version of events Ambrosius had been swearing by this entire time is the exact opposite of what really happened. He claimed that it was an accident, he didn’t choose to do it, he had no choice, and that it was Ballister’s choice to become evil that caused all of this. But in reality, Ambrosius was the only one who got a choice here. And that choice is why their relationship was destroyed.

Ballister then brings attention to something even more damning:

BALLISTER: “You’ve never said it before.”

AMBROSIUS: “What?”

BALLISTER: “You never said you were sorry.”

AMBROSIUS: “I- didn’t?”

AMBROSIUS: “Oh god.”

I feel like you could interpret this in a lot of different ways, but the way I see it, they probably didn’t see each other much right after the incident. Ambrosius was catapulted into stardom as the kingdom’s beloved knight, and Ballister became a villain. I don’t think they really interacted much until their hero-villain antics started up, so I don’t think Ambrosius really had a chance to apologize. And if he did, he didn’t think to. Regardless of why, I do think it is messed up that he never apologized, and it goes to show just how much this event destroyed the bond they used to have.

From here, there’s not too much, as Plot Stuff starts getting serious around this point. Ambrosius ends up betraying the Institution after they continuously attack Ballister to provoke Nimona, attacking the guards who are holding him. This is when Ambrosius finally chooses Ballister over the Institution, which is great for his character, but there’s not really much more than that to say about it.

He and Ballister plan together to try and save the kingdom, with Ambrosius being adamant that they have to kill Nimona while Ballister refuses to. It’s during this conversation that Ambrosius mentions that he “never did anything good [his] whole life”, which is really sad but also kind of accurate, and it goes to show how he’s finally accepted responsibility for everything he’s done and had a part in up to this point.

Eventually Ballister is able to find a way to nerf her and they split up, with Ambrosius wanting to tell him something in case they don’t see each other again, but Ballister shuts him down.

BALLISTER: “We can’t do this now. Just... just promise me you won’t get yourself killed.”

It’s easy to assume this was something romantic and it likely was, but I imagine Ambrosius could’ve also wanted to say sorry again for everything. Perhaps it would’ve been a mix of both.

Regardless, they split up and climax stuff happens: Ambrosius attempts to kill Nimona but gets seriously injured, Ballister tries to reason with Nimona, etc. etc. Eventually at the very end, we see that these two have made peace and are together again, living on after everything. And that’s these two in the book!

Whew. I know that was a lot, but don’t worry. I won’t be going into as much detail about the movie’s version of events, as Ambrosius and Ballister have a much more cut-and-dry dynamic there than in the book. Their relationship in the original is very complex, so I wanted to make sure I covered all of those little nuances.

The joust is what defines their relationship and a lot of their respective characters; it is unimaginably important. Ballister became a villain because he lost his arm and was cast aside by the Institution. Ambrosius became the kingdom’s hero because he took Ballister out of the picture. They are unable to be around each other normally for very long because of their divided views of what happened. It is only after Ambrosius finally faces the truth that they are able to find peace together once more.

All of this is to say that it’s extremely hard to imagine what their relationship would be like in the graphic novel had the joust not happened the way it did. Which brings us to...

Part 2: The Movie (AKA: “My Boyfriend Sliced Off My Arm Because I Literally Killed Someone!”)

Before we start, I want to again stress that I am not trying to argue that any changes made here are inherently inferior. I am merely pointing out the differences between the book and the movie that contribute to the overall dissonance I and many others have felt when it comes to these two across versions.

Right off the bat, we are greeted with the movie’s version of Ambrosius and Ballister’s backstory. Like was implied in the book, they appear to be together (or something along those lines) which is great to actually see. But it quickly becomes clear that the events here are far different.

Instead of a joust, it is a knighting ceremony. There is no competition between Ballister and Ambrosius here. Ambrosius is knighted and cheered for, and then it is Ballister’s turn. He is knighted and everyone is silent before breaking into cheers as well. And then...

...his sword suddenly turns into a cannon and kills the queen. And in retaliation...

...Ambrosius chops his arm off.

Now if you’ve listened to ANYTHING I’ve said so far, this should immediately set off alarm bells. Because this one little difference changes everything about these two’s dynamic.

In the book, Ambrosius shot off Ballister’s arm in order to win his position. It was an entirely selfish and evil action spurred on only by his uncontrollable want to be the winner.

But here, Ambrosius is debatably justified in his response. Sure, he didn’t have to be as drastic as slicing his whole arm off (and I know there’s symbolism there with how the kingdom has taught people to get rid of problems), but Ballister -- to him -- literally just shot the queen. The queen who Ambrosius has sworn to protect. It is completely reasonable for him to respond in this way. And that’s a huge difference.

By changing this, we already have a completely different situation. Ambrosius here didn’t particularly want to cut Ballister’s arm off, it was a reflex, a response to a sudden danger. (Not saying he wanted to in the book, but there he made the deliberate decision to do so. In the movie it seems much more like an actual accident -- an overreaction that he immediately regrets and, as we’ll see, continues to regret.) And there was justification for it. There was no justification for it in the book. 

Instead of an Ambrosius whose ambition caused him to commit an evil act of betrayal against the man he was closest to, we now have an Ambrosius who, in the heat of the moment, overreacted like he was trained to after Ballister seemingly betrayed him. We’ll see over the course of the movie how this affects things, but that’s not the only major change here.

As we figure out shortly afterward, the movie makes a huge change when it comes to how the story functions, and that’s the timeline of events. In the book, the joust and the subsequent fallout between Ballister and Ambrosius happened years ago. We don’t know how long, but it’s clearly been a while. Enough time has passed where they are fully settled into their roles as hero and villain, and they look significantly younger in the flashbacks as well.

Like previously stated, book Ballister has been a villain for a while. He is completely settled into this role and has been making schemes and having fights of the week with Ambrosius for a considerable time. He knows what he’s doing. He has his own way of doing things, and when Nimona inserts herself into his life much of their early dynamic is him teaching her how he does things. In the book, Ballister is the teacher, Nimona is the student.

But in the movie, this incident just happened. It's unclear how exactly long it's been, but judging from Ballister's arm being created and his wounds healing it's probably been around a month.

Regardless of exactly how long it's been, the point is that these events are still very fresh. Ballister seemingly has just been laying low, not villain-ing it up, and he and Ambrosius haven't seen each other since the knighting ceremony. This changes literally everything about Ballister’s character. This post is specifically about Ambrosius and Ballister’s dynamic and not a Ballister character analysis so I’ll try to keep it brief, but movie Ballister seriously could not be more different from the book.

Compare this to movie Ballister, who I’m pretty sure never knows what he’s doing ever, at any point. He was training to be a knight. He has seemingly never once questioned the Institution. Now he has suddenly lost his arm and been thrust out into the unknown of being treated as a villain, and he has no idea how to handle it. Then Nimona shows up, tells him “hey, the Institution sucks”, and eventually he ends up believing so as well. In the movie, Nimona is the teacher, Ballister is the student.

Book Ballister actively resents the Institution and has no doubts that what they did to him is wrong. He has been plotting their downfall for a while. Nimona, on the other hand, seems to be out of the loop when it comes to the Institution and seemingly only starts hating them after she finds out how they threw Ballister out. Again, I’d just like to stress how completely and totally opposite their dynamic in the movie is compared to this.

There’s also Ballister being a scientist and being much more jaded in the book, but that’s not really important for the purposes of this post. So alas, I shall move on.

This different timeframe greatly impacts Ambrosius and Ballister’s dynamic, and obviously it would. There is a huge difference between a falling-out that happened years ago and you’re both still bitter about, and a falling-out that happened very recently. This, along with the different course of events resulting in said falling-out, is what causes their dynamic to feel so alien.

Also while talking about their early interactions in the movie, I’d just like to point out that while here Nimona is the one to assume Ambrosius is Ballister’s arch-nemesis and call him such, which Ballister doesn’t agree with, they were actually arch-nemeses in the book. Just something I noticed.

Something else I find interesting is later on, Ballister seems to be almost in disbelief about Ambrosius cutting off his arm and makes excuses for him.

BALLISTER: “He didn’t cut off my arm. He disarmed a weapon.”

BALLISTER: “It’s how we were trained.”

(Side note, but I wonder if book Ballister ever felt this way right after the joust? Did he try to convince himself it was an accident too, once upon a time? Did he try to make excuses?)

And to be fair, he is sort of right. Like I said before, Ambrosius’ reaction to Ballister seemingly killing the queen was debatably justified. While we’re obviously supposed to side with Nimona here and agree that Ballister should be more upset at Ambrosius for what he did, the movie definitely paints Ambrosius as more sympathetic overall. We see him freaking out internally about cutting off Ballister’s arm, and there is a lot of emphasis placed on how he and the others were trained by the Institution, inviting the audience to place more of the blame on the system that taught Ambrosius to act this way rather than him as a person.

And again, I’m not saying this is a bad thing! I love a good "taking down a corrupt system” story, and with the different circumstances of the movie it definitely makes more sense to play it this way. But in comparison to the book, Ambrosius is much easier to sympathize with. His character is changed from a very morally gray person who did something horrible and won’t admit it, to a pretty okay person who did something horrible and wholly accepts and bemoans that fact. He’s almost the opposite of what he was in the book.

So we have an Ambrosius who accepts what he did to Ballister and feels awful about it, and a Ballister who has no idea what he’s doing and is basically just being dragged around by Nimona. With both of them being basically the complete opposite of how they were in the book, is it any wonder that their relationship with each other feels so different when they themselves are so different?

Also, once again, the circumstances are very different. There is no Queen murder plot in the book, nor is their any attempt to clear Ballister’s name. A significantly different setting makes a difference too.

I don’t see a need to go into further detail about specific scenes in the movie as I think I’ve made my point clear. But going back to the movie’s lack of Ambrosius and Ballister’s already established hero-villain dynamic, I think these differences are made quite apparent just contrasting how they talk to each other. I mean, just compare these two scenes:

AMBROSIUS: “What? You’re gonna kill me now too?”

BALLISTER: “You believe that?”

BALLISTER: “Then you never knew me at all.”

AMBROSIUS: “uugghh”

BALLISTER: “What if I cut off your arm right now?”

BALLISTER: “Then you’d see how fast the Institution would cast you aside. Just like they did me.”

AMBROSIUS: “You wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “No, I wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “And I’m the villain.”

BALLISTER: “What do you suppose that says about you?”

Their relationship in the movie is much softer and healthier than it was in the book. Their dialogue in the movie tends to lean much more towards tried-and-true “friendship betrayal” stuff; the wound of Ballister’s “betrayal” may be fresher, but it’s clear both of them love each other far more than they resent each other. In the book, it is the opposite. The movie could NEVER have the bar fight scene. It’s too ugly and bitter to fit these softer versions of Ambrosius and Ballister.

Part 3: Conclusion

So, that was a lot. I hope it’s a little clearer now how big the differences are between these two’s dynamic in the book and the movie! Especially if you’re someone who is only familiar with one or the other. While I prefer the book due to me tending to prefer more complex and messy relationship dynamics, I totally understand the appeal of the more loving and healthy relationship Ambrosius and Ballister have in the movie.

To summarize, here are some of the main takeaways:

Ambrosius causing Ballister to lose his arm is completely unjustified in the book and happens due to Ambrosius’ wild ambition, while in the movie it is a debatably justified reflexive action in response to an active threat.

Ambrosius overall is portrayed as much more sympathetic in the movie, with the system itself being more to blame for what happened.

In the book, the main thing keeping them apart was Ambrosius’ refusal to take responsibility and admit what he did. In the movie, it’s a misunderstanding about Ballister seemingly turning evil.

In the book, Ambrosius and Ballister have a very established hero-villain dynamic with the joust having happened years ago. In the movie the “betrayal” is still very fresh, which leads to very different interactions between the two.

And that’s about it! Thank you for reading this very long post. And if you haven’t read the original graphic novel or watched the movie, go do that!!! Much love to ND Stevenson and the rest of the people who made this story come to life.

Let me know your thoughts in the tags or the replies! Which version do you prefer? Are there any other factors you feel have a significant role in why their relationship feels so different? Or do you think I’m totally wrong about this and they feel basically the same to you?

Either way, thanks again for reading and goodbye!

[skellymom]

"SMASH AND GRAB"

"THE BAD BATCH FEM READER X HUNTER/ECHO ACTION/ANGST FAN FIC"

Angsty angst between the reader (mildly Force sensitive/empath-nothing super powerful), a lover and a friend regarding the fate of the squad. Someone needs to listen and realize there is more than one future for Clone FAMILY 99.

BE PUNK.  DO CRIME.  FIGHT FACISM. 

Background: Love is hard and I wanted to capture a relationship that is trying to survive in a time of chaos and oppression. Where nothing is a sure bet, and the thought of losing loved ones is terrifying and a real possibility. How long can CF99 stay hidden on Ord Mantell? The reader experiences a sense of dread that their sanctuary may not last long.

...with a little Punk shenanigans thrown in to show the Fascists just WHO they are kriffin' around with!

Y'all, this started as a fun romp in Punk Crime...then got REAL deep. Couldn't help the word count. The story just kind wrote itself.

Note: This story hints at a possible LOVE TRIANGLE. Not extremely apparent. But those of you who code Hunter as "The Boyfriend" and code Echo as "The Close Friend" might see it. Also, Passion and Practicality as dramatic opposites.

Those of you who wish to NOT SEE A LOVE TRIANGLE. Please just read this dynamic as a caring lover vs a caring friend. Hopefully it's ambiguous enough for EVERYONE.

People who aren't particularly fond of Hunter's character arc while on Ord Mantell during S2 of the actual series will LOVE that I pick on him a bit in this fic.

Word Count: 3.5K

WARNING: Star Wars Canon Violence, someone is stabbed in shoulder w/no mention of blood, blood smear on a bottle, fear, angst, maybe mild swearing, briefly implied sex in one sentence.

(Credit: Cool moving star dividers by @4ngelic-wh1spers )

“Aww...” Omega kicked the dirt and hung her head...twisting the pendant around her neck. 

“Sorry kiddo.  We just...don’t have the credits.”  I shrugged feeling defeated. 

She gave one last glance at the chocolate bar, nodded and shuffled off to the next vendor’s stand. 

“Hey.”  Getting the attention of the vendor who owned the stand.  “Would you take 2 credits instead of 3?  For the kid??”  Pointing in Omega’s direction.   

It was worth a try. 

“Come back when ya got the credits...or DON’T come back AT ALL!”  The vendor waved me away from their stand.’ 

“Geez, you don’t have to be so RUDE about it!”  I shot back as I left to catch up with Omega. 

The vendor yelled after me “YOU PEOPLE...always wanting a handout!  Glad the Empire is cleaning up the planets in this system.  SICK OF YOUR KIND!” 

I waved back to him with a very specific hand signal... 

Being poor sucks. 

We’ve been scraping by since working for Cid on Ord Mantell.  Hunter and I have been talking about taking the squad and bailing soon... 

...after the NEXT job. 

We’ve been talking about this for a while.  But it’s always about the NEXT job...even if that was the last job we just did. 

He’s scared to leave and face the unknown.   

It’s the devil he knows.  And, somehow, it’s a kind of unfavorable comfort. 

But I HATE that Cid holds shit over our heads constantly. 

It’s making me seethe.  Making me resent my scared lover a bit.  And it breaks my heart that Omega can’t be a child... 

If Crosshair was here, he’d have set shit straight right away... 

But The Empire took him away from us. 

Echo agrees with me and tries to reason with Hunter. 

Tech gets sidetracked with everything going on. 

Wrecker, ever the supportive sibling goes along for the ride. 

Omega falls in with them too.  It’s all an adventure for her... 

Until it’s not.  And, I’m worried that’s going to be very soon. 

I can feel it.   

Every day SOMETHING is getting closer. 

And, I itch to escape this planet.   

But I WON’T go without them.  Life is nothing without them ALL. 

My opinion: We ALL can do better somewhere else.  Somewhere that WON’T have us living hand to mouth. 

But we MUST leave Ord Mantell. Or we’ll never know what the future might hold for us. 

ANOTHER mission for Cid.  And this one requiring that I and Omega stay behind for “safety reasons.” 

Hunter’s words, not mine. 

And this time Echo spoke up “The fact that we are leaving them behind means it’s time for us to terminate Cid’s employ.” 

“Where would we go?  Cid was YOUR contact, remember.”  Hunter shot back. 

Echo nodded across the room to me “She can FEEL it.  I believe her that we don’t have much time left.  Can’t you feel it too???” 

Hunter sat down wearily and sighed.  “EVERYTHING has been a blur since losing Crosshair...”  Putting his hand to his brow “Been missing a LOT lately.” 

Omega is sitting next to me.  I can see the panic in her eyes.  “Why are they arguing?” 

“Because they love us.  And, making decisions for the ones you love is difficult.”  I didn’t want to tell Omega that these men who normally have such a close camaraderie are only openly arguing because they are AFRAID.  The dynamic in our squad is starting to break down.  She’s seen and been through enough.  I try to shield her from what I can when I can. 

Tech and Wrecker weighed in on the situation...which now REALLY doesn’t help. 

Their voices rose higher.  I don’t hear the words anymore.  Just FEEL the emotions behind them: accusations, defensiveness, declarations to fight the Empire, plans to score big one last time and retire for good... 

I can’t sit here anymore.  Gently took Omega’s hand, leading her out of Cid’s Parlor with the lure of a “window shopping” to blow off steam.  Basically poor-person's shopping. 

She stops at the doorway, looking up at me.  So many emotions on her face.  “Shouldn't we tell them where we’re going?”  Omega remembers the last time she stepped out without checking in. 

I survey the loud debate between four grown men...four grown men who are scared, unsure boys who never had to live this way before.  My heart went out to every one of them.  I tried to tell them, to contribute to this discussion...so many times.  But they defer to two polar opposites with nothing in-between: 

Stay and keep working for Cid, hoping to eventually get ahead...then go retire on some fictional planet with a slim hope the Empire will never find us. 

Or, leave Ord Mantell forever and fly away with false fantasies of a battle leading to victory while heading right into the belly of the BEAST. 

“They won’t notice.”  It wasn’t the best answer...but I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.  “We’ll be back before then...” 

Omega, not totally buying my reply, still relented... 

But not without an unsure glance behind her at her brother’s grousing. 

Apparently...they DID notice. 

“Just where did you both go???”  Hunters concerned and frustrated face met us as we descended the stairs. 

I could see Echo across the room sitting at the bar “pretending” not to pay attention to our conversation. 

“Omega and I wanted to skip the big multi-person argument.” I cooly clapped back. 

He relaxed after seeing Omega with a big smile on her face. 

Then tensed up after she told him why she’s smiling:   

“Hunter, I met a Wino tonight.  He smells funny, but he does fantastic magic tricks!” 

Then she skipped away to see what Tech had on his datapad.  Wrecker handed her a fizzy kiddy beverage dressed up with a slice of Meileroon on the rim. 

Hunter gave me a... face.  The kind he gives me when I have some explaining to do. 

“What?” 

He sighed. 

“Please use your words.” 

“Ok.  DON’T leave without telling us where you are going.  Double if Omega is with you.” 

“Sure thing, Sergeant.” Then I turned and walked away.  Settling in the furthest corner of the bar to be alone. 

Hunter shook his head and scoffed.  Strolled defeatedly back to the bar, then gave Tech a slight bump on the shoulder.  Tech immediately slid off the stool and followed Hunter into Cid’s empty office...and shut the door. 

I leaned back into the sofa and closed my eyes.  I felt so exhausted... 

A few minutes later a warm hand patted my shoulder.  I opened my eyes. 

Echo set down a drink on the table beside me.  “Glad you and Omega are back.  We get worried sometimes.  Things are getting...complicated and dangerous.  He’s...WE are ALL looking out for you both.” 

He walked away and entered Cid’s office, closing the door behind him. 

Kriff...they DEFINITELY are planning ANOTHER mission... 

Put it all out of my mind and settled in to watch Wrecker and Omega play several rounds of “KABOOM!”  It’s a chaotic card game Wrecker made up to keep Omega busy.  She loves Dejarik, but Wrecker tires of it easily.  KABOOM! is really an old card deck CF99 has carried with them forever, and Wrecker has scrawled writing all over them with his own “game script.” 

“KABOOM!” Omega yells after she picks a particular marked card.  Then throws her hand up into the air to symbolize an explosion... 

Kaboom indeed...hopefully not us and not anytime soon...but the cards will fall wherever they may...I have no control over them. 

“Hey...” Smoky whisper in my ear. 

I open my eyes and see Hunter hovering over me.  His eyes are soft and loving while he runs his fingers though my hair.  I’m covered with a blanket and there’s a pillow under my head.  The game room is empty, silent, and dark. 

“How long have I been out?” 

“Couple hours.”  Then he plants a kiss on my forehead.  “Apologies for earlier today.” 

“Accepted.  I could have handled that interaction better myself...” 

“No...I’ve...got to get my shit together.”   

“I won’t argue with that.” I snicker. 

He smiles.  It’s been SO long since I’ve seen him do that.  My heart aches for a time before this one...a simpler time for all of us. 

His expression switches to a forlorn one... 

“You’re leaving soon...” 

“Yes.  But I promise it’s the LAST mission for Cid.  EVER.” 

“I recall you’ve said that before.” I grumped, attempting to get up from the couch. 

“But this time I MEAN it.”  He grabs my hand and I stop. 

He drops something cold into my palm and the chain it’s attached to trails out of his hand.  Then he cups his hand affectionately under mine. 

It’s a necklace.  The pendant a shard of deep green meteorite Hunter and I had witnessed impacting a planet when we first kissed.  How’s that for symbolism?  When it finally cooled, he snuck back to the site, fishing it out and surprised me with this as a gift.  Carried in my pockets for forever...until recently I thought it had been lost.   

“You got sneaky there, Bandana.” 

“Tech set it so you can wear it.  It’s made of the metal that doesn’t irritate your skin...that doesn’t sound very romantic...does it?”  Hunter grimaced. 

I snort and it elicits a chuckle from him.  “For most people, probably not.  But I deeply appreciate the gesture.  Also, the practicality.  Thanks.”  His words may falter, but I can FEEL the intensity of his emotions in this moment.  The depth of his affection and devotion. 

He lovingly takes the necklace from my hand and clasps it around my neck.  I lift the blanket and Hunter crawls in next to me on the sofa. 

“I love you so much Y/N. Have a hard time showing it sometimes...please understand I just want the best for us...” 

I shush him with my finger to his lips.  “I love you too, Hunter...and I struggle in the same way.  Let’s call a truce...for tonight.” 

He nods and I kiss him...kiss him with all the fire and passion that I cannot say with words.  He answers my love language in kind.  We heat up that sofa like nothing it’s ever seen before. 

That fateful day I’ve been worried about finally came... 

An Imperial Class Venator loomed over the city. 

So large, it blocked out part of the sun. 

White armored stormtroopers, dispatched to the planet swarmed Ord Mantell.  They kicked in doors and terrorized the locals. 

Were they searching for us?  Or just taking over the planet, like so many others in the galaxy? 

“Havoc 1, do you copy?” Echo tries to comm Hunter... 

Nothing. 

“Empire is jamming all ground communications.” He sneered. 

Omega and I sat crouched across from Echo under a vendor table.  The tablecloth kept us hidden. 

Today was our day to shop for supplies.  Of course, Echo tagged along.  If Hunter wasn’t with us, it would always be Echo.     

I was already a bundle of nerves that my “bad feeling” came true.  Echo’s presence helped me keep it hidden around Omega. 

“Oh NO!”  Omega started to fret.  “Maybe they’ve been captured?  How will they find us?  We’ll be separated!” The fear rising in her voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. 

I put my arm around her, giving a firm squeeze.  “Don’t worry, Hunter and Tech probably got it under control.  And Wrecker will smash heads.” 

“Yeah, kiddo what Y/N said.”  Echo put a calm face on it.  

He knew something I didn’t...I could FEEL it. 

“We need to get to them!” Omega whispered 

“No Havoc 5.  We’re sitting tight.  They’ll find us.”  Echo winked. 

He DID know something... 

“Out with it, Echo.” 

“What?” His expression innocent. 

“What do YOU know that Omega and I don’t?” 

“Nothing...” Smiling with that shit eating grin if his.  Sassy, yet charming. 

Omega and I glance at one another.  Then glare at Echo. 

“Hey, I was sworn to secrecy.”  His expression turned from mild to hardened soldier as the sound of marching feet rounded the corner of the vendor’s square. 

Echo silently pulled his weapon...having it on the ready. 

They stopped next to our table. 

“FREEZE Civilian!  Come out with your hands up!!!” 

All three of us froze, staring at one another. 

Echo had a look...like he was ready to kill whoever was out there... 

Omega put both hands over her mouth.  Her eyes wide in abject fear. 

I squeezed her closer to me... 

The trooper violently kicked over the table... 

...next to us. 

A man’s scream rang out and continued to do so as they beat and kicked him. 

We recognized the voice.  It was the local street wino.  Nice man...just liked his Spotchka a bit TOO much. 

“Evading Emperial soldiers is a crime Civilian...so is stealing.” 

The wino’s bottle of unopened Spotchka rolled under the table, stopping to rest against my knee... 

...blood smeared across it. 

A trooper’s hand groped under the tablecloth for the bottle. 

Omega mewled in terror quietly behind her hands.  

Echo readjusted the grip on his weapon. 

I silently pulled the small vibro dagger from my belt... 

...hovering it over the groping hand. 

“LEAVE IT!”  Another trooper barked at the one reaching for the bottle. 

“I’VE ALMOST GOT IT!”  He crankily barked back. 

The hand hovered over the bottle... 

Then suddenly gripped my leg and yanked me out from under the table! 

The trooper seemed shocked at what he pulled out.  He crouched there staring dumbly at me.  I lay in the dust stunned... 

...for a split second... 

Then I viciously stabbed him in the shoulder. 

The trooper screamed.  Echo knocked the table over and opened fired on the rest of the Imps.  He laid them all to rest efficiently. 

But our cover was blown. 

I pulled my dagger from the dead trooper, sheathing it. 

The wino, bloody and battered, staggered to his feet. 

“THERE THEY ARE!!!” 

All of us turned to see the vendor from the other day pointing in our direction.  He was standing at his stall with a HUGE satisfied grin on his face. 

More imps passed him running toward us.  The wino found his feet and fled quickly from the scene. 

To add insult to injury, the vendor felt the need to keep speaking... 

“WARNED YOU THE EMPIRE IS CLEANING UP THE GALAXY!  YOU PEOPLE DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE...” 

The roar of an engine overhead thankfully drowned out the rest. 

Tech fired the Marauder’s cannons into the crowd of Imps, decimating them.  Then swooped in lower to pick us up. 

Echo grabbed Omega’s hand, and before she could be whisked away, she pushed something cold and hard into my hand... 

The bottle of Spotchka...opened...with a strip of the torn tablecloth stuffed into it... 

A makeshift wick. 

Did I mention how much I LOVE THAT LITTLE HOOLIGAN! 

The vendor locked eyes with me.  His hateful stare...all the horrible things he said to us while on Ord Mantell...his lack of empathy for our plight...his open contempt for the poor...outcasts...those that don’t fit into HIS version of society...his alliance with The Empire...the unyielding hand of power beating down EVERYONE in the galaxy... 

RIGHTOUS ANGER welled up within me... 

We kept eye contact as I calmly pulled the small torch from my belt. 

And lit the wick. 

Then smiled at that kriffing piece of Bantha waste. 

The haughty expression left his face damned quick...and he turned tail and ran. 

I chucked that Flaming Bottle of Rebellion as hard as I possibly could and ran towards the ship.  The explosion rang out as I reached the Marauder, pushing me backwards onto the gangplank. 

All manner of debris rained down from the sky. 

And... for some STRANGE reason, I reached out to catch one particular piece... 

...just a FEELING...a hunch...some random, strange reflex...no thinking involved whatsoever... 

My arms enclosed around it...as it slammed squarely into my midsection, knocking the wind out of me... 

I gasped for air... 

Barely registering Hunter reaching out and yanking me into the Marauder... 

The flight away from Ord Mantell was ROCKY with extremely heavy space traffic! 

Tech navigated through all manner of passenger and cargo ships around the planet trying to escape being captured by the Empire.  Echo at his side assisting with hyperspace jump codes. 

Just the thing we needed to get away undetected...for now. 

Hunter rubbed my back as I struggled to breathe.  Finally, I got my wind back, then looked down at what hit me in the gut. 

A FULL unopened box of exported Coruscant designer chocolate bars. 

“Huh...sometimes that Force stuff really does work out.”  I muttered.  “OMEGA!” 

She ran over. 

"Here ya go, kiddo.”  Handing her the whole box.  “Btw...thanks for the Spotchka Cocktail.” 

She smiled like a fox in an Endorian henhouse and ran away with the box.  I could hear Wrecker’s excited voice as he helped her open it. 

I gently fell back and relaxed against Hunter’s chest, exhaling away all the stress. 

He put his arms around me, inhaling the scent of my hair. 

“Hey?” 

“Hmmm?”  He hummed into my hair. 

“How did you know EXACTLY where we were?” 

His hand slowly snaked up and tapped the keepsake necklace around my neck. 

“You...have a TRACKER on...ME???”  I glanced over to the necklace around Omega’s neck. 

“Uh huh.” Tracing a heart shape slowly against the skin of my chest. 

He didn’t even have to look up from nuzzling my hair.  Hunter KNEW I understood Omega was also carrying one as well. 

I glanced across the Marauder to Echo. 

“YOU LITTLE MECHANICAL SHIT!” I teased. 

“Of course.  You wouldn’t expect anything less?”  He smirked, then swung his chair around to converse with Tech. 

“So...you put a bell and collar on us BOTH?” I addressed Hunter. 

“For safety reasons only.  Can’t have anything bad happening to our girls.”  He caressed my face.  “Originally it was only for Omega...you know...her wandering off problem.  Just couldn’t cope if we lost you both...” 

I sat up to turn around and face him.  Putting his face in my hands. 

“Hunter, we’re finally free from Cid and Ord Mantell.  But I’m upset it took something like THIS for us to leave.  I’ve been asking for MONTHS!” 

Behind me I could FEEL Echo turning his attention back to us.  FEEL him nodding in agreement with my statement.  Almost FEEL him thinking “We got lucky this time.” 

Hunter’s eyes flicked up to Echo, then back to me. 

“You’re BOTH right.  I’m sorry.  Bad at this civilian business.  I’ll do better in the future...we have one now.” 

“Except for the Empire...” Echo clapped back. 

Hunter’s eyes flicked back up to Echo.  He nodded, slight defeat on his face. 

“HUNTER.”  I implored.  His eyes focused back on me.  “PROMISE me we’ll stay off the radar for a while...and make our OWN way as much as possible.” 

“I promise.” 

“PROMISE that you will LISTEN to me when I give you my input about what I sense and think.  I’m an important part of this squad...oh let’s stop saying that...FAMILY! 

Hunter waited...I felt him SENSING that I wasn’t done speaking.  Was he finally getting his senses back??? 

“AND STOP STONEWALLING ME!  It’s disrespectful.  I’m a grown woman and your partner...hopefully for the long run...but it WON’T be if you don’t respect me and start having the harder conversations.” 

Ouch...I could see that cut deep.  What I said wasn’t hurtful.  Hunter was recognizing his mistake.   He was really listening to my brutal honesty.  

“And...STOP beating yourself up...that’s MY job!” 

He raised an eyebrow. 

I finished...and could FEEL the weight of several pairs of eyes on us.  Everyone else in the ship was watching my and Hunter’s interaction. 

Hunter and I met every pair of eyes in the place.  

“No arguing with her AT ALL!  She’s RIGHT.”  Echo smirked and turned back towards the Marauder's dash.   

"Agreed.”  Tech following suit. 

“Let’s let them work it out, eh?”  Wrecker put his hand on Omega’s shoulder.  

Ever astute, Omega nodded, then took her box of chocolates and went to the gunner’s loft with Wrecker. 

Hunter stared into my eyes with a clarity that I had only witnessed BEFORE our arrival to Ord Mantell “I’ve been neglecting you...and our relationship too.”  He sighed.  “If you would rather go off with Echo and run missions for the resistance, I wouldn't blame you.”  

“It’s true that I may not want to totally settle down on some back-alley planet.  But then, I’m certainly not ready to run off and wage war with a huge oppressive regime just yet, ok?  Maybe something in-between.  I’m not an all or nothing kind of gal.” 

Hunter nodded and glanced briefly at Echo again.  Then back to me. 

“It’s true...I DO love him.”  I revealed. 

Hunter’s face showed a very brief, very hurt micro expression. 

“But It’s true that I love YOU too.  And I love Omega, Wrecker, and Tech... I still love Crosshair...wherever he is.  I love you all so much sometimes it hurts.  Love you all so much, that I can’t leave you even though I could feel the Empire closing in on us...” 

“We don’t leave our own behind...” Hunter whispered. 

“Never.”  I answered.  “Let’s work on being a family that can come together and plan our future...ok?  If you and I DON’T plan our future, we won’t ever have one.  Does that answer your question?” 

“Completely.” Hunter’s voice cracked. 

I put my arms around Hunter and held him close.  

Then we quietly contemplated what the future would hold...and where we would go next. 

Not before catching Echo’s expression and FEELING the words behind it: 

You’re brave...and I’m very PROUD of you! 

PLEASE like, comment, and/or REBLOG!

IF YOU WISH TO BE ADDED OR DROPPED FROM MY TAG LIST, PLEASE MESSAGE ME! Don't just comment as I might miss it. Thanks!!! <3

[hezuart]

Hey! Dyt that they have Ruined Striker’s Character in Helluva Boss? I Loved The Striker that we had in Season 1 but in Season 2 it feels a bit off for me, I don’t know where to put my finger on it. It’s like he lost that sense of character that he had in Season 1, It’s hard for me to explain it. I guess I shouldn’t have expected as much for This Series but sadly Love it and would it be Bad if I thought that Striker and Blitz should have ended up Together and take his offer in The Harvest Moon festival Episode? (if they did take that offer, I would’ve loved to see them taking down some Overlords in Hell, Plus Something about Their interactions made me Ship Them More Than Stolas, Wondered what actually happened if he joined the I.M.P?? I mean he nearly did but Oh Well) and Also Blitz has a Horse!? Does Loona know about this!? WT-!?

Reasons why Striker's character is "ruined" since season 2:

1. His arrogance has been upped to a ridiculous degree (big d*ck statues of himself) He was only arrogant around Moxie because they hated each other, but Striker showed off in physical skill and song. Not sexually? 2. In season 1, he was stealthy, unknown, and very cunning. In season 2, he is brash, famous, and dumb. (He tries to kill Stolas in a public setting without protecting his own identity, he's apparently a well-known killer for hire in Wrath, and he doesn't kill Stolas immediately after finally tying him up in the alleyway. 3. In season 1 he wiped the floor with Moxie, Millie, and Blitz, while in season 2, randomly, Millie & Moxie and Blitz defeat him easily and twice, making him look pathetic. 4. In season 1 he was hired by Stella, a high-class goetia to kill Stolas, and thus was provided angelic weapons to do so. He hates upper-class demons and to be working for one is a high level of irony that adds more to his character; but it also hinted that he was playing dirty, that he would eventually use these weapons to turn against Stella to kill other high-class demons to fight against the political power balance (which is what he invited Blitz to) and Stella provided a great boon for him; extremely rare, dangerous weapons. In season 2, he's seen working for Crimson. However, he is the one providing his resume, almost begging to be hired by a (supposed to be) low-class IMp Mob Boss, but outside of maybe money, Crimson has nothing of value to offer in comparison to the hot deal that was Stella's offering. 5. In season 1, he is brutal but thorough with his attacks. He doesn't play with his toys. In season 2, he drags Stolas's torture out, messing around and playing with him for no good reason. (Yeah, Stella ordered that, but she ordered it LATER, AFTER Stolas was captured, and even that is against what season 1 Stella wanted, she wanted him dead ASAP. There is no reason to torture Stolas, especially if it leaves things open for him to escape. 6. His voice actor changed. Bosco does a really good job, but it's just not the same. Striker was probably the best villain in the series, and now he's just kind of a villain of the we(a)k kind of character I just don't care about anymore.

His character was only slightly better in the Fizzarolli past episode, but just seeing him dumbly pay attention to Fizz's song just solidified he's a joke now. Season 1 Striker would never do that. He would have sniffed out Blitz and gone after him immediately. Maybe have even shot Fizz; Crimson ordered him not to hurt him, but I dont think Striker would give a damn at that point. I agree that Striker and Blitz would be a far more interesting dynamic. Actually fighting against the power instead of Blitz just... sleeping with said power. Blitz wrapped himself up in Stolas, basically becoming his s*x slave in exchange for the book. Blitz even runs a business for sinners, sinners of which are dangerous towards imps and overpopulating Hell's upper layer. Striker offers him an out, Striker offers him everything. He offers him change, he offers him a chance to be someone. Stolas on the other hand still hasn't changed his classist attitude. A part of him will always disrespect Blitz, and I don't know if the writers will ever address it at this point. I mean, Blitz was confirmed to have been attracted to him. It very well could have happened.

[12timetraveler]

Hello, I am a reader who previously submitted a question to the suggestion box. This time, I would like to inquire about something below:

I am also trying to write some articles about Hosea (Hosea&Dutch, or Hosea/reader), but I am always worried that I do not get the background stories of him in RDR2 well enough. Could you please share some stories about Hosea that you think are difficult to grasp or that you find particularly compelling? Thank you!

Sure! Just like, some general tidbits about Hosea?

The Red Dead wiki page has a lot of good info on him. Most everything there I can back up with facts from the game. But some interesting things about Hosea:

Hosea was born and raised in the mountains.

He didn't see his dad much, and his dad was not a good man.

He originally worked as a stage actor (I believe he even mentions working on Broadway) but he left that life to become an outlaw (to my understanding, he enjoyed picking pockets and conning people too much, but he was becoming too recognizable due to his acting. But I'll be honest I'm not sure if that's canon or fanon)

At one point when he was 18 he was captured stealing chickens and was set to be hung, but someone shot the rope and saved him. He never saw who saved him. This drives me crazy because it feels like such a big hint toward someone saving him but we can't determine who. Could have been Red Harlow? Or maybe Otis Miller? It feels like the story should have had some hint at that but nothing. But anyway, Hosea escaped and the sheriff was hung instead.

Hosea met Dutch when Hosea was around 30, and Dutch was in his early 20s. They tried to rob each other and found each other's skill admirable so they teamed up.

At one point Arthur mentions that he loves Hosea and Dutch as fathers, but he thinks he loves Hosea more. I think this is an interesting dynamic to explore.

When he and Bessie left the gang he says he eventually fell back into conning, which makes me think he just couldn't help himself when it came to robbing and conning people. Which I think makes sense given that he couldn't give it up to be an actor either.

After Bessie died he was drunk for a year. Makes you wonder what finally pulled him out of it. Also we only see him drink once or twice, likely because of this.

I think those are all the big points I can think of right now.

Hope this helps!

[villainousshakespeare]

Therapy Fit for a God Chapter 25

"Loki/OFC Rated E: Trigger Warnings: Smut, Sex, Oral Sex, Angst, talk of suicide, therapy, unhealthy family dynamics, mention of torture and mind control, touch starved, drinking, memory loss

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24

Loki’s plans to conquer and rule Midgard have come to a disastrous end. After being captured by the Avengers, he is being held on Earth. Odin has refused to interfere, and the outlook for the God of Mischief appear bleak. His only hope may lie in one mortal woman, a Psychiatric expert brought in to interrogate him.

Dr. Caroline Thorpe is intrigued by Loki and thinks that more lies beneath his actions than is commonly known. Can she find out the truth before he is shipped off to die for crimes against the Earth? And can Loki bring himself to care?

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @yespolkadotkitty@maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1 @poetic-fiasco @shiningloki @dangertoozmanykids101 @bookworm-christina @amwolowicz @delightfulheartdream @frostbitten-written @what-a-flammable-heart @tom-hlover @nonsensicalobsessions @myraiswack @loki-yoursaviourishere @ghostypau @ms-cellanies @colorfulfreakstudentpizza @mareebird @colorfulfreakstudentpizza  @szycha22 @chokemedaddyloki @queenofallhobos @just-the-hiddles-reads  @alwida10  @justjoanne242 @chantsdemarins @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokiprompts @evieplease @unlucky-number-13 @bitchassbecky691

Loki continued his throaty laugh until he noticed Caroline looking at him uncertainly, as though at a complete loss as to what had brought on his sudden shift in mood. Discretely adjusting his tunic to hide the bulge created by their embrace, he tried to curb his lapse into amusement.

"Loki, are you alright?" she asked, pulling back from him.

"Well, that is the question, is it not," he replied, finally regaining his composure but still finding ridiculous, inappropriate humor in the situation. "I certainly feel better now that I am sitting here with you pressed against me. The little Midgardian who won my heart."

"I am glad?" she made the words sound like a question, and he could only assume to her they felt that way a well.

"And yet you are also the one who shot me, are you not?" he mused, trying to imagine this sweet, innocent looking woman firing a solar blaster at anyone, much less him.

"I am so sorry, I would never have done that on purpose," she said, voice conveying more than a hint of despair. "If I could have shot myself instead, I would have."

"Ah, but that would have been foolish. You are such a delicate little thing. So easily breakable. I, on the other hand, am very hard to kill, even for an Asgardian. And we are a notoriously robust race."

He meant that to be reassuring, so why was she looking at him with even more confusion? Did she think him so pour of a specimen that he wasn't far more physically hearty than a mortal? She was supposed to be head over ears in love with him from everything he had been told, and yet she seemed to doubt him.

"So, you did not mean to shoot me," he said, trying to assess her for himself. "You would in fact, as you say, have suffered grievously in my place. Tell me, what have I done to deserve such devotion from such a beautiful woman?"

"It's not about deserving," she said, scrunching up her face. "We do not earn love like points in a game. It is freely given because of who we are and how we feel. You are a good person with many exemplary qualities - you are loyal, caring, intelligent, creative, but I love you as much for some of your other qualities such as your deviousness and your ambition as I do for those sterling ones. It is the whole taken together and alchemized into one unique being, one Loki, that I love, not any act you performed."

At her impassioned declaration, Loki began to feel an uncomfortable tightness in his chest in addition to the now even more insistant tightness in his trousers, and his eyes became unaccountably misty. The way her eyes were blazing at him seemed to dare him to contradict her words. Loyal? Caring? Was he these things? He liked to think so, but he didn't go out of his way to allow others to see it. As for intelligent and creative, well... yes, those were evident, but again few besides his mother and a handful his teachers ever said a much. These were not the virtues that were celebrated on Asgard, not the ones that won you acclaim and favor of fair maidens. Bravery, strength, heroism, these were the desirable qualities one looked for in a mate.

And yet, Caroline hadn't even mentioned them. Instead, she had seen and been drawn to the things he was, rather than disappointed by the things he wasn't. And she wasn't wrong about his other side. Loki was ambitious, he had been raised to be, and deviousness seemed to be baked into his sense of self right along with mischief. She saw these things and loved him because of them. Could such a thing really be possible?

"What a curious creature you are," he said, trying to keep his tone light as he stared at her, not wanting to give away how much her words meant to him. "And all of these characteristics make you love me? I am not an easy man to love, I would think."

"Perhaps not," she said with a small grin, "but that is part of the fun. I have always enjoyed a challenge."

Loki grinned back at her, seeing the hint of a kindred spirit in the twinkle lurking deep in her eyes. Was this real, this marvelous woman? How had he stumbled onto her, and why couldn't he remember?

"And I love you," he said, testing out the words and weighing the thought in his head.

"You have told me that you do," she sounded nervous.

"You are the first person to inspire such a confession from me," he startled himself by admitting. "Oh, I don't mean my family. I have certainly told my mother and Thor, and even Odin in my weaker moments, that I love them. I may have even uttered the words fatuously to a former dalliance. But I have never meant them before, not in a romantic way."

"I didn't know that," she replied in an awed tone. "For what it's worth, I have never said them that way before either. Of course, I only have decades, not centuries to account for."

It was worth quite a bit. He had feared he was making himself sound weak, pathetic even by hi admission. He was not used to this show of vulnerability, particularly with someone who he didn't know, at least that he remembered. Yet Caroline somehow brought it out of him without doing more than glancing at him. How was it that he was not battling humans away to get to her?

"That may be so, but it is odd that such an obviously desirable woman would not have found love ere now. Mortals are even stupider than I imagined. Previous company excluded, of course."

"Loki," she said, after steeling herself to get it out, "if you have changed your mind... I will not try to hold you if you wish to be released. You have made no promises to me after all."

Changed his mind? He didn't know his mind! He didn't know what he had done or said or even how long he was missing from his life, but one thing he did know. He knew that this woman next to him, by simply sitting, had him both happier and more aroused than he had ever been, at least during the days that he remembered. How could she think he didn't want her?

Unless it was her who had changed her mind. She said she loved him, yes, and that she looked forward to a challenge. But he had seen her when he came in. She had been smiling at that smirking mortal with the stick and the glasses. The image reignited the jealous fire in him.

"Perhaps it is you who have had a change of heart," Loki suggested, trying to keep the growl from his voice and failing. "Mayhap you have found someone else to keep you company. The sightless Mortal who I found holding your hand for instance."

"Matt Murdoch?" she heard her voice skitter up. "Loki, I just met him less than two hours ago. And as kind as he was, he was not you."

"But human lives are so truncated, that might be all it takes to form an attachment," he said.

"I am not attached to Matt, or anyone else. My heart is yours."

"That is fortunate," nodded with a half-smile, heart singing at the words as he laced is fingers between hers. "I am not up to my usual fitness, and it might have proved embarrassing if it took more than a matter of moments to kill him."

"There is no need to kill Matt," she assured him.

"Then I suggest you keep your hands where they belong. On me."

Taking Caroline's wrists, he placed her palms on his chest. She slid them up slowly, running over the soft tunic he wore and making him wish it was absent. When she reached his shoulders, she carded one side of his hair through her fingers and he made a small noise that was almost a purr. It was heaven, her touch. Something about it felt so right. She sighed quietly and melted into him, lips pressing against the pulse point in his throat.

"You, my little love, are a delightful surprise," he told her in a raspy voice.

"Surprise?" she asked, looking up at him.

Loki debated his choices. His body was screaming at him to allow her to continue her exploration of his body. He wanted more than anything to vanish their clothing with a wave and sink hilt deep inside of her with a single thrust. He longed to see if she fit him as well there as she did in his arms. He would wager all he had that she did. Unfortunately, he also felt a strange surge of reluctance to have her under false pretenses.

"Ah yes, I suppose I should tell you," he sighed.

"Tell me what?" a tendril of fear shot through her voice.

"Nothing serious as all that," he tried to reassure her, not wanting to end their intimacies. "A trifle really. You see, while I knew the moment I saw you, the moment I heard your name in fact, that you belong to me, I am afraid that beyond that I know absolutely nothing about you."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Just what I say. I understand from my brother, never the most accurate or subtle source of information, that you and I have recently begun a relationship that seems to be rather serious. The murderous rage I felt upon finding you with someone else tells me that in this instance Thor was actually correct. But beyond the wealth of emotion that you inspire in me and the tales of others, I have no recollection of you whatsoever."

"What?" she asked again, blinking adorably at him.

"Do not fret, love," he told her, running a knuckle down the side of her cheek. "It is nothing personal. You see, I cannot recall anything at all."

"Nothing?"

"Not a thing more than vague feelings and instincts."

"For how long?"

"Oh, not too long I should think," he replied with a shrug. "I have a clear memory of dressing for Thor's coronation. I still have to find out what happened there, as obviously he is not King. Not that I am complaining, mind you. I have great affection for the big oaf, but he would make a stupendously wretched King, you must agree."

Caroline stared at him in horror and disbelief. Surely, she was not one of those who thought Thor would make a sage and worthy ruler? She was so astute in other matters, she could not possess this common blind spot, could she?

"Loki," he could hear something in her voice switching, sounding more professional in tone, "you need to tell me what happened. Was it being shot that did this to you?"

"Does this mean that we are not going to consummate our reunion?" he asked, wishing selfishly that he had kept silent as she pulled away and straightened her beautifully mussed hair.

"What? No! How can you be thinking of that right now?"

"It is not thinking that I have been doing exactly, my darling," he said with a lascivious smile, drawing her hand down and placing it over his erection.

She gave a delightful little yelp as he moved his hips, quickly pulling her hand away. He had seen her eyes dilate though, and he knew she wanted him as well. At least that was a balm to his raw nerves.

"Stop that!" she scolded him, moving even farther from him. "I have told you I will not allow you to distract me with flirting!"

Had she? How delightful! He liked this bossy side of her, although he would like it more if she would go back to curling up against him.

"My love, I am trying to distract you with sex, not flirting," he purred.

"That either. Loki, this is serious. Now, sit over there and tell me exactly what has been happening."

Ah well, it looked like a tumble on the sofa was not in his immediate future. With a melodramatic sigh that he hoped she appreciated and a much less subtle readjustment of his engorged member, Loki told her what little he knew about Frigga and Eir's adventures in his mind.

***

The roller coaster of emotions appeared to be never ending. First, there was miracle to beat all else - Loki was alive. The relief, the joy, and the ardor bubbling up inside of her threatened to bring her to her knees. And his mother was standing beside him - tall, regal, impossible to live up to. But then all of that was forgotten as she was in his arms, experiencing once more how right it felt to be there. The kiss was everything she needed, passionate, searching, lingering, bliss. She could breathe once more.

Until he laughed and Caroline realized that for all she had found her home again, something was not quite as it should be. There was a hint of mania she could not ignore tinging his mirth. Was he amazed that she had the audacity to assume the right to kiss him after her unforgivable act of violence? He didn't sound angry, exactly, but more bemused that it had happened at all. She could understand that; it felt unreal to her as well.

She babbled out her apology, voicing her wish that she had taken the blast instead. It was true, she would gladly have taken his place over the past week and more. Oddly, that seemed to offend him, the exact opposite of what she had intended. She would have gone on in her apology, until she heard his reply.

"I, on the other hand, am very hard to kill, even for an Asgardian."

Caroline's ears began to ring, as she was taken aback by his words. Loki was decidedly not an Asgardian. The fact was a major focal point of his life, and the key trigger of his decent into trauma and crisis. What did it mean that he was claiming the Asgardian identity as his own? Had his recent time at his childhood home caused him to slip back into the persona that had been forced on him as a baby?

His next words, "Tell me, what have I done to deserve such devotion from such a beautiful woman?" doubled the fear in her head, but also angered her. He was so deserving of love, just for who he was. He didn't need to constantly prove his worth. She needed to make him see that. She also needed to let him know that if this reversion to his former self ment an end to their liaison, she would accept it as long as he accepted that he was worthy of love.

The next climb to elation - he loved her. More than that, he had never loved anyone before. It was too much. Too much happiness all at once. She could not have hoped for anything more. He had her giggling with his jealousy, something she had never been comfortable with before but for some reason found it disturbingly attractive in him. She would have to be careful not to encourage it too much.

For now though, she could enjoy it. Enjoy the hungry look in his eyes as he pulled her closer. Enjoy the feel of him beneath her hands, his hair sliding through her fingers, his pulse beating fast against her lips. When he made a noise like a purr, the want in her had her breath coming fast and hard, longing to feel all of him. She barely heard the words he was saying; something about a surprise. She traced her tongue over her vein, wondering how he would react if she bit it.

"I know absolutely nothing about you."

"What? What do you mean?"

It was a bucket of ice water down her spine. As he explained, it only got worse. Loki remembered nothing of the last year and more. Gone was the discovery of his Jotun origins, his doomed ascension to Asgard's throne, the betray of his friends and his own betrayal in return, the void, the torture, the invasion, and yes, his time with her. More than the passion they had shared, she was horrified that he had lost all of the work he had done in accepting himself.

Yes, it would be lovely if he never had to think of all of the torture he had gone through, but Caroline had little hope of that. In her experience, traumatic events might disappear from conscious memory, but that did not mean they were gone. They would eat around the edges of thought, just waiting for the worst moment to emerge and wreak havoc with his life.

In addition to the torture, Loki had already endured the pain of discovery once. Was he really being sentenced to relive that trauma? Too many people knew the truth, it could not be hidden for him for long. And even if it could, that would just be compounding the lies that he had been fed all of his life. No, she had to find a way out of this mind field, one that would do the least damage to his wounded psyche.

Ignoring his attempts to distract her with more physical intimacies, a feat she truly deserved a medal for considering how much her body was screaming at her to stop talking and jump on him, she pried as much information as she could get on what had been done. Unfortunately, Loki could be of very little help. He remembered nothing more than waking up with a hazy sense of the recent past.

"I have reactions to things," he added with a half shrug. "You, mostly. The moment Thor mentioned your name, it was as if the world tilted."

Well, that was certainly gratifying, but Caroline needed to push down the warm rush his words produced and concentrate.

"Mostly, anything else?" she asked.

"You are quite vexing, darling," he complained, walking his fingers up one arm and causing her to shiver. "Are you really more interested in the past than in what we could be doing in the present?"

"Yes," she lied, moving his hand from where it had found her breast. "What else did you react to?"

"Thor said something about the Tesseract. It gave me hope. A way out."

"That makes sense. It was your escape route more than once. What else?"

"I really don't know. When Thor brought up you, everything sort of went sideways and I had a hard time concentrating on anything. I just knew I had to find you and make sure you were alright."

"Loki," she breathed, leaning towards him despite her best intentions.

"I didn't know who you were, but I knew that you were mine," he told her simply.

"I am. But I am selfish. I want all of you, even... no, especially the time we spent together. Alright. If you don't know what was done, than who would?"

"Mother and Eir, I suppose. They are the ones who worked the magic. But really, min kjaereste, a year is a short amount of time, barely a blink. Does it matter that much?"

"I am a mortal Loki, it is long for me," she said stubbornly. "Very well, we will need to speak with them. Eir was your doctor?"

"Healer, yes. On Asgard."

"That is a bit far, but your mother is here. Well, I suppose I would have to meet her eventually, but this is not how I would have chosen to begin."

"We should probably be going back to Asgard in any case," Loki sighed, standing up and drawing her with him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I am hardly about to leave you here, in some strange man's quarters, nor do I have any intention of sampling the dubious pleasures of a Midgardian jail again anytime soon. My guess is that in three centuries they have still not improved overly much."

"You were in Earth jail three hundred years ago?" she couldn't resist asking. "Why? No, never mind. You can tell me later."

"Indeed. Much more important to get you home where it is safe."

"Home, as in Asgard?" she asked, unable to believe what he was suggestion.

"Well, yes," he seemed amused by her surprise. "Thor should have brought you with us to begin with. I take care of what is mine, Caroline. And you are very much in that category."

Again, that traitorous flutter rose in her stomach. She quashed it ruthlessly.

"I can't go to Asgard."

"Why not?"

"Because, I'm from Earth," she said lamely.

"And I'm from Asgard, yet here I am," he countered.

She bit her tongue to keep from blurting out that no, he was not. Her brain was on overload. There was just too much happening too quickly. She had not left the surrounding ten rooms in days. She was uncertain when she had last showered and knew that she needed at least a week of sleep.

"I don't know..."

"Caroline," Loki said, lifting her chin to stare into her eyes. "You are trapped here. You need me. Which is a very fortuitous thing, because I need you as well, and that is not something I say often if at all. I am trusting you, with no memory of our time together. Can't you trust me as well?"

And with that, the last of her resistance melted. Giving him a trembling smile, she coiled her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. The smell of him was soothing to her jangled nerves, and his hand rubbing her back slowly imparted a warming strength.

"I said something very similar to you, not that long ago," she spoke into his torso.

"Not just before you shot me, I hope. No, darling, forgive me. An ill conceived jest. Now, unless you are willing to reconsider a tumble on the sofa, which I must say strikes me as more than our due for the trouble we have been put through, I suggest you cease pressing into me in that delightfully provocative manner. I only have so much will power, after all."

"I love you," the words fell out of her mouth even as she jumped away from him.

"I cannot wait to understand why," he responded. "Come, my beloved, let us go find out."

[cidthesquid]

A walk on the 'Wild Side' - Final Fantasy XIV

So that picture pretty much explains it, But feel free to read the rest of the post for my mindset behind this design, and change. In short, I really enjoy FF:XIV, and have a ton of alternate (side) characters, each with their own personality and style sense.

This was how they looked originally, my 4th character, A female Roegadyn, this was before I had access to Veria, and I wanted to create a taller character that still felt fun!

It's a little embarrassing to think back on now, but I remember one of the core ideas was to capture that "Warrior Princess" energy from like 90's era sci-fi and fantasy. The intense, yet slightly flirty super strong woman who could totally kick the main character's butt, and is just along for the ride.

(Yeah, like I said, kinda embarrassing, lol.) After about a year or so, I switch to Highlander:

I thought it offered the 'buff' look of Roegadyn, but with better expressions and emotes. (some Roegadyn emotes look a little goofy) And I love some of the intensity you can get out of some expressions

(Please don't read this as "Some body types look better than others" This is purely based on the games fixed racial animations/expression) I had a lot of dun designing for her, previously I'd only worked with more 'formal' 'cute', and even 'cool' designs for my other characters, so it was fun to branch out and try more 'intense' designs!

I learned a lot while working on this new design, and a bit of my design philosophy for making characters and outfits has shifted. I also think my shot composition has improved a lot since then, I use waaay less intense filters, and I think my new outfit designs actually look a bit better. But I think it's time for a new challenge, with the release of dawntrail, we now have a new character design to try, Female Hrothgar!

So this new design was really tough for me, Unlike the other races I've tried to design for the 'face' choice is way more important this time around, as hairstyle and other very features are locked to it. Also, the 'Hair color' effects your character's shoulder fur too. So hilights can look a little weird at times:

I was a little mixed on the eye color options, as that also works differently than other races. And then you have to worry about compatibility of hats. It was a little frustrating, but overall I'm pretty happy with the result.

I love that Female Hrothgar, has some of the intensity of highlander, with a more dynamic model like Roegadyn. It's a really fun character style to work with, and even with the more intense style and demeanor, there's still an inherent softness to some poses and expressions. So I can't wait to design more! (Next outfit is a dancer glam, it's non-modd, but slightly suggestive) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's pretty interesting to see how the same outfit can look fairly different depending on the race. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Anyways, that's all for today, I don't know what the point of this tread was supposed to be, haha. I just like making character and outfits, and instead of just sharing screenshots, I wanted to talk about my why I made some changes, and what I was going for. Hopefully that came through in the text, writing this was a bit awkward, as I can think of hundreds of ways this could be misinterpreted. Yeah, I'm a guy who enjoys designing and dressing up female characters in the game, but I'm trying to be mindful about how I do it, and I've actually found it's actually quite fun to actually learn 'why' something looks nice, and experimenting with different styles. But I'm going to try to not over think it, I genuinely don't think this is one 'best look' in game or out, just various forms of self-expression. if you have any questions or comments, feel free to ask! I'm open to suggestions and critique as well, just keep in mind I'm still learning!

[crystallizsch]

so i drew jamil and yuusha kissing once?? twice??? and now i cant stop thinking about doing it again helpme. anyways-

this is the evil part: unintentional side effect of opening those floodgates is that i drew it with jade too 😔

one of these scenes is canon and it’s not the one you think

noodle-cubed dynamic (thanks tato for the name 😔🫶) my beloathed /j

anyways. rambling. i feel like i need to actually explain my thought process about this whole mess---

since canonically jade and jamil already have a funny dynamic (namely through jamil's applepom card + other instances i think), i’d like to think in the beginning jade was interested in jamil (in whatever kind of sense really)

then jade finds out there’s something going on with jamil and yuusha so he just??? kinda left them alone to marinate for a while. observing i guess.

but throughout the first year yuusha was there, nothing happened between her and jamil. they were never in an official relationship despite treating each other as if they should be in one.

so in yuusha's second year, jade went in to stir things up via yuusha to provoke jamil. (+ the other reason jade is doing this is because technically yuusha and jade were already somewhat friends after spending time with each other as yuusha works in mostro lounge)

sometimes it works. jade sees how jamil gets bothered by his interactions with yuusha. jamil is good at hiding it, but jade notices. like how jamil's mood sours more than usual at jade's presence and how the prefect is looks a bit more excitable when he's around. and the more jade notices, the more he tries more elaborate schemes.

this may have backfired though. it seems that jamil grew more resigned to the fact rather than be vocal about it. most likely because yuusha had shown signs of falling for jade's advances — sometimes a look of pure infatuation with jade when she talks about him that jamil had not seen before when it came to him (yuusha has, jamil just never NOTICED).

--and also that jade himself finds himself no longer thinking of it as a game to mess with them. he realized he might be falling for the prefect too.

morays are cowards at heart. they don't take a shot unless the shot's guaranteed to be a winner (<- from floyd's quote in beanfest). and with this clear shot (the kiss COUGH), it's safe to say that the prefect got successfully captured by jade because of the hesitance of a certain snake.

yuusha is not waiting for him. she may have stronger feelings for jamil but if someone else she's interested in is actively pursuing her, why not turn to that other one instead. at least they tried first.

also something something, this is where jamil should be where he uses his character development from book 5 onward of pursuing what he wants into practice.

(yuusha is part of the problem here too i know <3) (it's not like she's trying either)

disclaimer that dynamic/lore is always subject to change but these are the thoughts for now ;;;

i think i did something evil

[foodcitykochi]

Food Photography: Tips and Tricks to Capture Stunning Restaurant Dishes

One of the things I love about  food photography is that we have to choose the best camera  to get that perfect shot.  It makes a lot of confusion for people when they are deciding which camera to buy for food photography. If you are considering buying a new camera system, you must go wrong with any of the brands. The newer camera systems have so many great features. Just pick your budget, then make your better choices from there to get a better one.

I’m a little different from a lot of photographers, in that I feel the right camera for you is what you can afford, and has the features you need for food photography  – not necessarily a specific brand.Some photographers insist on one brand being superior to all the others for photographing all disciplines, and I don’t agree with that.

As I am a fan of food  photography, I am currently testing several of the newer systems before I upgrade what I am currently using as a 35mm camera. I’m heavily looking into getting a mirrorless system.As food photography, many times we are actually doing macro photography because we have to get very close to our food and  show fine details of the food.

This has its own set of equipment with the lenses we use. Sony came out with its 90mm macro lens E-mount  in 2015, so they were ahead of the game for us food shooters.With macro photography, focus is absolutely critical. If you miss the mark of your focus in your shot, our cameras must be extremely accurate with the auto focus.

As I’m looking for better  camera systems, I understand that  macro focus is  a challenge for some systems for food photography. Most of the newer mirrorless cameras have ways of zooming into your focus on food products .When you take the picture to enlarge an area in the image that you are focusing on to make sure it’s sharp. This is very helpful.

The “focus zoom” is a great new feature with a lot of cameras, and with the Sony, it was extremely accurate. Wherever I put my single focus point, Sony nailed it every time. The Sony 90mm macro lens is extremely sharp as well.There are a lot of menu options for the focus on this camera, so you must do some testing for your situation to set up the camera’s focusing menu for what will work for you.So, with all that being said, for traditional food photography where you are only using 1 frame.

Photography backdrops are the backbone of our photos. I can’t emphasize how important they are! They can literally make or break our images.

When I first started out  food photography, I didn’t have a lot of money and tried to make my own backgrounds. But soon I realized that spending money for  quality backgrounds for food photos was one of the most important things I could do for my food story .I used to be really scared of using brightly coloured photography backgrounds. Now, it’s one of my favorite composition techniques.If you have a limited budget, however, you’ll want to try and make your collection go as far as possible. Therefore, I recommend sticking to neutrals.

 A time for your food photos at a time – instead of a multi shot, focus stack, this system will work really well for you. I was very happy with how the system worked for a single food image.For more advanced commercial work and food photography, where everything has to be in focus, you’ll just need to use a third party device and software  to do focus stacking. Better cameras are essential for improving your photographs with the best focus and clarity on your image. It’s really that simple!

Importantly it’s not about ‘experimenting’ or ‘trying things out’ until you get what you’re looking for. There’s a method you can use to help you get that amazing shot every time—so you’re not taking 300 photos when you could take 10. Dynamic symmetry is a game changer for food photography.My Composition Essentials course will teach you everything you need to know to master composition and create your signature style—but for now, let’s dive into the basics of dynamic symmetry.Exploring the visual impact of cropping is an amazing way to improve your image. 

Don’t chase the clients for pay before work ,most of them pay earlier—but you must need to set expectations with them before the shoot.When you start freelancing, you might want to take on every job that comes your way. Consider, though, that clients who don’t pay and make things harder for you generally aren’t worth the extra hassle. If budget is an issue from the outset, think about whether the job is worth the time and effort you might need to spend just to get paid.

Setting expectations from the beginning lets your clients know that you’re professional and expect them to act the same way. The way of indirectly lightly lighting your food will make beautiful soft light that emulates natural open shade light from your window makes our food photography more beautiful.

So, there you have it. A super easy way to backlight your tasty food items.

[fantastic-nonsense]

I was wondering how do you think Meghan Fitzmartin feels about Stephanie?

The preface to any thoughts I have on Fitzmartin and Steph is this: I have a policy that every comic creative is allowed to like one (1) objectively awful book, because no one can have universally good taste and sometimes it just scratches an itch you have. But reading an interview with Meghan where she mentioned that one of her favorite Bat comics was War Games absolutely threw me for a loop, and it makes me really nervous about how she might write Steph moving forward (ONE FEAR and everything).

Short explanation of War Games for those unaware of why liking this particular event sends up red flags: Bruce fires Steph as Robin because she refuses to listen to him, so to prove herself she steals info Bruce has gathered on a bunch of gangs and tries to control them all. She miscalculates because she didn't know that Bruce and 'Matches Malone' were the same person, and it ultimately kickstarts a gang war and gets Steph captured, brutally tortured, and killed by Black Mask as a consequence. This event also features Tim's school friend Darla being unceremoniously shot for shock value in front of Tim's school and dying his arms plus Dick NOT dealing with the fallout from Blockbuster's death+his rape by Tarantula because he had to go deal with the gang war instead. It's an incredibly cruel and misogynistic comic to Steph and easily one of the Top 5 worst Batfam events ever written.

..........yeah. You can see why Meghan name-dropping it as a favorite comic is cause for concern among Steph fans. Generally, I appreciate that she seems to have a good grasp on Tim's character and the best of intentions for every character she works with (and what their fans want for them), but I don't have particularly high hopes for her Steph. She's said before that she really loves both Tim and Steph:

I’ve [also] always really liked Tim, I think in part because he was in Batman: The Animated Series. But the more I was getting into Tim even for [Robin Eternal], the more I was like, “This poor child.” I recognized this desire to do good, especially with his relationship with Stephanie. Tim and Stephanie are so interesting to me as a dynamic. Stephanie is so unapologetically herself, and a mess, and living her best life, which is also a mess. Tim is, I think, drawn to that aspect of her and it’s so cool. Even growing up, I was like, this is so cool to see the struggle of these two characters. I think Stephanie was who I wanted to be, and Tim was sort of who I felt that I was. -Fiztmartin in an interview for The Geekiary [x]

So that's technically the answer she's given about how she feels about Steph. But her treatment of Steph thus far hasn't impressed me; between breaking Tim and Steph up off-panel and not addressing it for a full year and her treatment of their relationship in YJ Dark Crisis, she's given Steph little to no agency or voice in this entire mess she's made, and thus far has written Steph as little more than a supportive-but-somewhat pushy background character. So ultimately, I think Fitzmartin likes the idea of Stephanie. I'm not necessarily as sure what she likes about Stephanie in practice.

Of course, I don't really expect Steph's POV to be centered in a Tim-centric story because that's unfair to both of them; Steph should have gotten her own POV story dedicated to dealing with the breakup from her perspective, and it's not Meghan's fault the Batgirls co-writers were uninterested in exploring that and no one else at DC is willing to let a Steph solo story happen right now. But her handling of Steph is still concerning given Dark Crisis and I'm not really sure where we go from here.

Nearly anything is going to be better than Tynion (who kind of actively disliked her), Bendis (who had no clue what to do with her), and Cloonan/Conrad (who write her like she's 14 rather than the 20/21-year-old she's supposed to be)...but Tim's solo is inevitably going to have Steph in it and I'm not super excited about it given Fitzmartin's handling of her so far. I guess we'll see, though. Maybe she'll surprise me.

[bucksfucks]

         amorosa // steve rogers

        chapter five: paris, france

 chapter one // chapter two // chapter three    

                    chapter four // chapter five

               ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

                             main masterlist

                            series masterlist

summary || steve takes you to paris to accompany him to a business gala where you meet an old friend and partner, discovering some secrets about your steven.

pairing || sugar daddy!steve x reader

word count || 2,023 words

warnings || financial struggles, sugar daddy dynamics, daddy kink, undefined age gap, minor panic attack, angst — 18+ ONLY//MINORS DNI

     When Steve said that the private jet was learning first thing in the morning, he meant it. It was three in the morning, the sun not even close to being up as you rode through the empty and dimly lit New York streets with Steve's hand on your thigh.

    He decided to drive, sometimes you thought he was superhuman, running off of only a few hours of sleep, yet wide awake and alert.

    You envied him as your head lolled to the side as drowsiness washed over you. You yawned, big and loud as Steve chuckled.

    "You can sleep on the plane, Princess. I know early mornings aren't your thing." He teased as you shot him a tired look, but smiled as you placed your hand over his.

    When you opened your eyes next the car had stopped in the middle of the runway, a sleek private jet in front of you as your eyes went wide with excitement. You'd never gotten anywhere close to a private jet, the closest thing being bumped up to business class on accident.

    "Is this it?" You asked, sitting up as Steve opened his door, "sure is, buttercup." He winks, coming around to open your door and help you up. The air was cold, the smell of frost faint in the air as Steve wraps his arm around you.

    "I've never been on a private jet," you mumble, more so to yourself as Steve laughs in response. He takes your hand, leading you up the stairs of the jet until you're entering the lavish cabin.

    "Then by all means, Princess, let me be the first to introduce you to them." He purrs from behind you, arms snaking around your waist as you take in the clean leather and polished surfaces.

    "Steve this is…" you're at a loss for words, mouth agape as you spin around to plant your lips on his. You're standing on your toes, arms hastily thrown around his neck as Steve lets out a surprised grunt before catching his balance on the nearby wall.

    "All for you." Steve finishes your sentence and you just about melt in his arms.

    He chuckles when you explore the rest of the jet, taking the time to talk with his pilot, Léon, about the flight plan. Their voices are hushed as you enter the back of the plane, walking into the bathroom to take a moment for yourself.

    It's a lot, overwhelmingly so and you start to feel your heart racing when you think of Steve.

    You've loved before, but have you been in love? The realization causes your breathing to become shallower as you wonder if these past few months have been a whirlwind romance destined to burn out like the brightest flame?

    Or perhaps this bubbling feeling deep in the pit of your stomach has been blossoming, nearly blooming into what so many people refer to as love?

    You gasp when you hear soft knocking on the door, "are you all right, buttercup?" It's Steve, and the nickname causes butterflies to flock to your chest as you swallow your feelings.

    "Just checking out the bathroom," you giggle and well, it wasn't a lie.

    He smiles, taking your hand, "pick a seat, Princess, we take-off soon." Steve says before you're sliding into one of the comfortable, almost too comfortable seats and buckling into it. Steve's hand is in yours, thumb rubbing soothing circles against your knuckles as you feel the same swell in your chest.

~

    Paris, France.

    You'd never been, although you don't think you'll ever want to leave.

    When you arrive it's late in the evening, the bustling city life is alive and well as the car drives from one end of the city to the other and you still can't believe your eyes as you pass by the lit up Eiffel Tower.

    The hotel room is nothing but lavish, with tall windows, balconies, gold and champagne detailing and the largest bed you'd ever seen. The sheets are soft and clean and you want nothing more than to collapse into bed with Steve.

    The bathroom has a claw-foot tub, a full shower, and four sinks along with a velvet chaise.

    "How about a shower, Princess?" Steve asks, sitting on the bed as you fall back onto it. His voice is coarse and rough, no doubt tired from the many hours of travelling as your tired eyes meet him as you nod.

    "Here," Steve stops you when your fingers hook under your shirt, "let me," he offers before slowly undressing you.

    The bathroom is quiet, nothing but the sound of running water heard as Steve removes your clothing before shedding his. The moment is soft, gentle and caring as his touches are featherlight.

    Once the water hits your tired body, you let out a sigh of relief. It's warm, your muscles relaxing under the stream as Steve steps behind you. The glass door fogs up, encasing you in your own world as Steve's hands knead over your tight shoulders.

    "Just relax, Princess. Let Daddy take care of you tonight." He whispers in your ear, it's not sultry, but instead washes an overwhelming wave of relief over you as you let Steve take care of washing your body.

    A fluffy towel is wrapped around your body before the cold air even has time to hit your body. By then the water has lulled you into a state where all you want is for your head to hit the bed, engulfed by the covers as Steve's steady heartbeat soothes you to sleep.

    You aren't really aware of when you get into bed, all you know is Steve is telling you goodnight, pressing a kiss to your forehead before you're thrust into a state of comatose.

~

    The sound of quiet voices is what wakes you, bright sunlight streaming through the nearly translucent curtains making you squint as you let out a groan. You aren't sure how long you've been asleep, but it's probably far too long.

    You roll over, the alarm clock reading 11:37 and yup, you've definitely overslept.

    Who cares, you're in fucking Paris.

    "There's my girl," Steve beams, walking into the bedroom dressed in a casual, yet professional attire. Simple fitted slacks and a tight button down that's not done up all the way with the sleeves rolled up.

    You smile as he presses his lips to yours.

    "I've got some business to take care of this morning, okay? I shouldn't be more than a few hours." He explains as you give him a small pout. "I've ordered breakfast to the room, take your time gettin' ready. Tonight's the big gala so your dresses should be here soon, along with hair and makeup."

    Your eyes nearly bug out at the sound of his words, hair and makeup? Multiple dresses?

    "Don't act so surprised, buttercup. You know Daddy takes care of his girl," he smirks before standing up to his full height.

    "Guess I'll just have to find the best pastries alone," you playfully retort, "I love croissants, remember that." Steve winks before he's giving you one last kiss and disappearing out into the Parisian streets.

~

    Paris was breathtaking, beautiful, and everything you could've dreamed of.

    Yet you couldn't help feel out of place as you walked through the streets alone, soft music playing through your headphones as you tried to scout out the best café in the city.

    You felt stares on you as you tried to keep your head down, people stopping as they looked at you. Maybe you were in your own head, but you could've sworn you saw people take out their phones to… take pictures of you?

    No, you had to be in your own head.

    The hotel was in your sights as you bolted in its direction, a text message from Steve prompting you that everything would be arriving at the hotel soon and that he was on his way back to get ready.

    Your heart hammered, thumping as you realized that you would be on Steve's arm as he introduces you as… his girlfriend.

    "You okay, Princess? You've been quiet this entire ride." Steve asks, fingers lacing with yours as you look down at the gold satin dress you've chosen for the night. It compliments all your best aspects, the colour great on you as you nod your head.

    "Just nervous." You mumble, it was the truth as you felt your stomach churning as you approached the banquet hall. It was gorgeous, lavish from the outside and you couldn't imagine how much nicer it would be on the inside.

    "You've got nothin' to worry about. I won't leave your side, promise." Steve says softly, holding out his pinky for you to hook yours against it. You giggle, doing it as your worries vanish for a split second.

    When you walk into the hall it's littered with people wearing their most expensive gowns, suits, and jewellery as Steve grabs to flutes of champagne.

    "For the nerves," he jokes and you take it, the bubbly alcohol running down your throat distracting you for a second before Steve's hand is on your lower back, leading you through the people.

    "Hey Punk!" The voice that shouts it is low and deep, hearty and boisterous as Steve whips around with the biggest grin on his face.

    "You Jerk," Steve replies playfully, the two embracing in a hug as you take a good look at the other man.

    He's slightly shorter than Steve, dark brown hair in a loose messy bun paired in an all-black suit. If that didn't make him look intimidating enough, he's got a black and gold prosthetic to match his aesthetic.

    "So this the dame that's captured your heart?" The man smirks, casting his eyes on you as you can't help but feel your body flush.

    "Sure is, this is James." He introduced you, your name squeaking past your lips as you shake his hand. James rolls his eyes at Steve, pressing a kiss to your hand as you admire the cool shade of blue his eyes are.

    "Call me Bucky, Doll." He comments as Steve claps his hand over his shoulder, shaking his body as you're thrown into conversation with the two men.

    It's a strange sight, seeing Steve being thrown around by whom you learned to be his childhood best friend turned business partner some years ago. Though you must admit that you like Bucky, he seems like a good influence on Steve.

    "Here, I'll go grab up some more drinks," Steve offers, standing up to press a kiss to your cheek before striding off to the bar leaving you and Bucky alone.

    "You know I gotta admit Doll, I'm real surprised that Steve's found someone." Bucky muses, fixing his collar before turning to you. Your expression is full of confusion as you silently press him to explain himself.

    "After Peggy, I really didn't think the kid had it in him to love again, but here we are." He smiles, it's not malicious or venomous, it's a genuine smile but your heart has dropped into your stomach and all you can hear is the ringing in your ears.

    "Peggy?" Is all you can manage to ask as your heart begins to hammer in your chest.

    "Steve's ex-wife, he didn't tell you about her?" Bucky asks and suddenly he's got a remorseful, regretful look on his face as you shake your head, "no."

    "Paris has the best champagne," Steve breaks the conversation as you look up to meet his eyes, trying to hide your hurt as you take the delicate flute between your fingers.

    "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you say with a tight-lipped smile. You don't wait a response, quickly seeking out the nearest bathroom before you're holding yourself over the sink, trying to calm your breathing.

    Bucky's words continue to replay in your mind, an ex-wife, an ex-wife that he chose to keep secret? You felt tears brimming your eyes and you wanted to scold yourself for thinking a man of his power had no dirty secrets.

    How ironic to have your heart broken in the city of love.

tagging // @jennmurawski13​ | @nakedrogers​ | @vollzeitliebe​ | @kelbabyblue​ | @jevans2​ | @babyyhoneyydarling​ | @rogerslovesstark​ | @cloudystevie​ | @lahoete​ | @speechlessxx​ | @aikeia​​ | 

any and all feedback is always appreciated! <3

[ramblingguy54]

Sonic & Tails R: A Love Letter To Miles Tails Prower’s Characterization

     Warning: This will contain massive spoilers for the short radio play series of Sonic & Tails R. If you haven’t listened to the radio play yet on Youtube, I’d highly recommend any hardcore Sonic fan who hasn’t seen it check it out. It’s one Hell of a treat.

     For as far back as I can remember in my childhood, Tails’ story of trying to step outta Sonic’s shadow has been such a resonating one for myself. Even when I was a much younger kid playing my Dreamcast, during entries like Sonic Adventure 1 & 2, there was some idea lingering about why Tails just stood out more emotionally in his journey to grow beyond depending on Sonic all the time for help. Now here I am a young adult in my late twenties having such a deeper appreciation of this little two tailed genius kiddo because he’s got an important element that’s made him so beloved for good reason.

     In spite of his genius being a rival to that of Eggman’s high IQ and of course proving to surpass it plenty of times when scenarios boil down to being a high stakes battle, Miles Tails Prower beneath it all is still just like any one of us. We’re all trying to find our place in this world about what defines us for who we are as unique people. He wants to be more than just seen as someone who’s alongside Sonic The Hedgehog’s never say die attitude, but prove he’s plenty capable of standing on his own two feet to protect everything the kid holds dear to himself. Underdog stories, when they’re naturally executed very well, can reel me in so easily. They are very much my bread & butter trope I adore seeing.

     To no one’s surprise, the two Sonic Adventure’s iterations portrayal of Tails’ characterization are hands down some of my favorite writing for the two tailed fox, regarding what the 3D era has done toward him, development wise. It gave him more of an existential struggle to endure like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t around to help stop Eggman? What if I’m not strong enough to accomplish what he can?”, making Tails plight to be seen as an equal all the more endearing when stopping Eggman in his climatic battle against the Egg Walker in Station Square. This here is a great use of a timeless lesson you can apply in life that if you set you heart and mind on anything, there isn’t a thing you can’t accomplish on your own, which is why many fell in love with Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s writing for Miles Tails Prower’s journey of independence.

     As someone who comes from a large family tree of relatives, I feel the weight of my existence on my shoulders at a number of points more than I’d care to count, admittedly. Seeing Tails struggle with his sense of purpose, in contrast to observing how much Sonic has accomplished with his carefree, yet deeply compassionate attitude, means the world to me in watching another trying to comprehend their value as a whole on how much they matter, overall. This is a big part of why my fondness for SA1 & 2′s quality has never wavered over these years, besides still obviously enjoying most of their game play mechanics. People can try to debate to their heart’s content on whether the Adventure games still hold up in their own eyes, but I’ll always respect them for how they tried to develop certain characters, such as Tails, Gamma, and Shadow The Hedgehog notably, to attempt expanding upon their characters, as well as world building.

     I won’t bother going into a rant about how Sonic’s recent 3D games have butchered Tails’ personality & relatable nature, due to the current writers in charge of handling the cast of characters. More or less, I greatly empathize toward the notion many have already stated about Tails being so cowardly and God forbid, looking at Lost World, downright severely mean spirited. Rather, I’m obviously writing this lengthy post to breakdown why Sonic & Tails R succeeds, where these certain 3D games have greatly faltered in exploring Tails’ emotional dilemmas as an insecure, yet still having the courage to prove himself, talented boy full of hidden potential he doesn’t quite realize, until his back is against the wall in life threatening situations.

“That day, I realized I couldn’t depend on you forever. Not that I can’t depend on you, but like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t here?”, you know?”

     Sonic & Tails R further delves into this fundamental rule of what has defined Tails in Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s stories of events where Sonic wasn’t there to aid his best bud in taking down Eggman’s evil efforts for global domination, most importantly his fear of defending the Earth without his role model. Besides what I already stated in SA1′s events in Station where he stopped the Egg Walker, as well as the missile Eggman launched from detonating before their climatic battle, Tails watched Sonic blow up in ARK’s capsule presuming him to be dead after Sonic imparted how much faith he has in the kid’s abilities to be truly strong in the face of any foe. Sonic & Tails R manages to use fan service in a way that doesn’t feel like “pandering” for the sake of it, using this past canon material to do more of an in-depth study about Miles’ anxieties of existing without Sonic.

     Wouldn’t put it past them if EmuEmi & crew were using SA2′s Sonic death fake out scene in that space capsule to further add trauma to Tails’ psychological attachment to Sonic, as well as his insecurities of depending on him too much, to boot. While it’s never obviously outright stated in their radio play, I definitely believe they were factoring this element into adding dramatic exploration for why Tails is so self-conscious about the worst case scenario of permanently losing Sonic. Watching Sonic supposedly die put Tails into a deeper state of self-reflection, so I very much enjoyed how they went using these past events to create a thorough exploration about him learning just as it’s important to realize you need to stand up for yourself without using someone else as a crutch all the time, it’s doubly important to remember there’s nothing wrong about asking someone for help when you’re about to be down and out with little options left.

     Sonic & Tails R beautifully builds upon the foundation these two games’ stories left behind years ago, creating new damn great material to explore with the most iconic characters of this cast, Sonic & Tails brotherly dynamic. I’ve been praising Sonic & Tails R out the wazoo for how well it captured Tails underdog story of overcoming death defying odds, but it managed to remind me how simply adorable and outright wonderfully endearing their brotherly chemistry is as a whole. This is a big friendly reminder Sonic isn’t all about being cocky wise cracking character making meta jokes left and right, but he can be plenty capable of showing serious compassion to anyone he values as an ally and friend. This is no greater evident, than with him verbally lifting Tails up in his time of need when he’s self-depreciating his own significance. It can be seen in Episodes 2, 4, and 7 giving Tails motivational pieces of advice.

    Episode 2 In Adabat’s Cavern

-Sonic: Wasn’t it your radar that helped us find these Emerald shards in the first place? How could you be slowing us down when you’ve gotten us this far?

-Tails: But, I...

-Sonic: I could never make something like that. You’re the smartest person I know, Tails. One way or another, we’ll figure this out, count on it.

         Episode 4 In Holoska After Helping Silver Save The Chao

-Sonic: So, what was that back there? At the cave, in Adabat? -Tails: What do you mean? -Sonic: Frozen stiff. Confidence shot. It’s not like you. It was more than feeling like you were “slowing us down”, right?

        Episode 7 Inside The Egg Carrier 3

-Sonic: Let’s split up! I’ll distract them and you can go after the energy source. -Tails: You’re gonna take them on all by yourself!? Let me help, Sonic! -Sonic: No time for this, Tails. Stop overthinking and just go! If I can get their attention, I’ll take the heat off of you and that room you’re going to probably won’t have any security. Take this emerald and I’ll take the other one we have. It’ll lead me right to you after I beat these guys. -Tails: O-Okay... -Sonic: Hold on, Tails! Listen to me. Don’t stop moving and be careful. I’ll be fine and so will you!

     Sonic & Tails R remembers the most crucial detail of their important relationship. One isn’t better than the other and needing to always rely upon that notion for helping one outta a jam, but instead showcases how they’re equals as a team/bros. Sonic may be super fast and strong, however Tails has his intelligence to analyze situations in a different angle Sonic wouldn’t necessarily consider, per say. Which isn’t to say Tails couldn’t put up a fight either, as we’ve seen in SA1 & SA2′s stories where he faced Eggman one on one with no outside help to best him at his own game of wits & strength.

     We get see the apex of this idea through Tails facing Eggman in his super improved mecha walker. Although Tails may get thrown for a loop here at first by Eggman, it’s his villainous speech about winners and losers in their world that ironically does the exact opposite of what he intended. Eggman wanted to crush Tails’ sense of self worth before finishing him off, but all it did was reignite the very lesson Sonic told him earlier before running to distract Eggman’s robotic minions. That said lesson of he’s more than capable of facing dangerous threats

-Eggman: Poor boy. We all have to learn this lesson, sooner or later. In every game there’s no one you can depend on. You’re all alone and you’re either a winner, or a loser. And as you know, loser’s lose all of their lives. Say goodbye, fox!

-Tails: You’re wrong! I can depend Sonic! I won’t let him down! I can’t because...Because he’s depending on me! And because of that I won’t lose to you!

     This radio play strikes a good balance in utilizing the grey moral area about depending on someone vs it being an unhealthy display of attachment derived from serious insecurity. Word’s can’t begin to describe how much I loved this moment to pieces because it’s oh so important for writing Tails’ characterization. If you’re going to tackle him being super self conscious about his reliance on Sonic, then you gotta remember why they are so close to one another to begin with. Sonic & Tails have an unbreakable connection, considering they’ve brought out their best qualities in themselves from being together as individuals. For Sonic, it’s his older brother compassion to Tails to bring him outta feeling melancholy. For Tails, the kid finally understands there isn’t anything wrong with depending on Sonic when he needs it most.

     After all, that’s what a real healthy friendship is all about. Whether you’re giving someone a dose of tough love, or simply a piece of motivational advice, it defines how much you truly care about someone, period. Sonic & Tails have this very same power from their bond, which is why new emeralds form from their compassionate friendship that hasn’t been shaken after all the years they’ve been together. Another detail worth noting is it adds to the lore in an impactful manner when Tikal expresses in Episode 8 about positive connections and thoughts from users of the Chaos Emeralds having a strong will & heart. Using the ideas they had for encapsulating Sonic & Tails’ dynamic to create new emeralds from their love for each other as brothers adds an emotional weight.

“So, Sonic’s not the only one who harness the power of the Chaos Emeralds? I can too!?”

“Yes, you have a strong heart! There is a power waiting to be unlocked within you, as well.”

          I’d always daydreamed about in my childhood seeing Super Sonic & Tails take down a threatening villain, whether it was Eggman or different powerful creature such as Chaos or the Biolizard. You can imagine how fucking giddy I was beyond belief to see this artwork of Episode 9′s cover for the radio play. Tails not only got to have another one on one with Eggman, but a team up with Super Sonic in his own respective Super form? Sign me the Hell up! Talk about an all you eat buffet of good writing for Tails’ journey reaching its climax. Getting to hear this play out, alongside the amazing song of Fly With Me, made it authentically feel like something straight outta if there were an installment of Sonic Adventure 3 being brought into reality, which certainly feels like it now.

     Episode 9 has so much awesome stuff with Sonic & Tails working together in their super forms. Particularly, my favorite scene is at the beginning when Sonic teaches Tails how to navigate his newly acquired speed in his respective Super form. My heart melted hearing Sonic help Tails through it all, while he was overjoyed about how fun this new form is for himself. Wholesome Sonic & Tails content is the perfect daily serotonin for me, easily. It’s an awesome fun fact to know they used a scrapped boss from Tails Tornado segment in SA1 for Eggman’s flying dragon three headed robot in their big final battle, once again using old canon material in a very effective manner to boost the quality of their fan made story.

     It’s been a real thrill to hear Mike Pollock play a straight forward serious Eggman making my day in more ways than one, considering that’s another thing I’ve been yearning for desperately besides Tails being a competent character again. His performance in Episode 9 when Eggman gave that speech about how long he’s been at odds with Sonic & Tails stubborn will power was simply excellent. The moment he told his mechanical dragon to crush them I got serious chills. That’s the Eggman I remember and grew up with. He could be a hammy villain sure, but Eggman wasn’t a doormat that could be swiftly beaten. Robotnik can be considered a serious threat in his own right and this radio play nailed it down to the very letter with how much he predicted their actions.

“Sonic, all I ever wanted to do was be like you. You’re not scared of anyone or anything. I could never be like that. At least, so I thought. I grew from that, but then I got so caught up in trying to prove it that thought it wasn’t okay to depend upon anyone, especially you. I just didn’t want to be that scared little kid in Station Square anymore, but now I understand. It’s okay to depend on your friends. It all means is that we’re stronger together, so the next time Eggman comes back and wants to start any trouble with you, or any of my friends. Emeralds or no emeralds, he’s gonna have to get past me and he won’t!”

Sonic By Episode 1′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here we come!

Tails By Episode 10′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here I come!

Turn your thoughts into power. Be all that you can be.

     The ending legit got me choked up because what of they decided to do for wrapping up Tails journey in a poetic fashion. Having Tails go off on his own separate journey to grow more independence pulled on my heart strings perfectly. Very much so, as I’m transitioning slowly, but surely, into gaining more freedom to go out into the outside world in my own life. Concluding the story, by Sonic & Tails holding onto the two Emeralds their bond had formed from positive energy, due to their powerful friendship, was so heartwarming. This is how you write an overview of what makes Sonic & Tails chemistry work so well as it does.

     Sonic & Tails R’s ending represents while some things never change, like Sonic and Tails bond for each other, it also shows there’s very much a necessity for people to grow, hence Tails’ whole solo journey in the epilogue. People can’t stay in the same place forever and will need go about finding their own path, even if it means saying “goodbye” periodically for a notable amount of time.

     It’s for these reasons I’ve listed in great explanation above throughout this detailed post cement Sonic & Tails R high on my list of favorite Sonic fan projects. They captured the magic of what made the Adventure games so beloved. Gonna be looking back on this passion project for many years to come. Everyone involved in this year long effort of a project dating all the way back Summer of 2020 ought to be immensely proud for how much their hard efforts paid off in the long run.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts here! 

Hope you enjoyed. 

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

Hi fren! Been following ur blog for a while and honestly I love it! I was wondering if I can get ur thoughts on something :)) remember in sozins comet when Iroh refused to fight ozai becuz “history will see it as more violence, a brother killing a brother to gain power” but then cue to Azula and Zuko who are fighting for the throne and it’s fine?? with them?? doesn’t that count as more violence as well? Thank if you ever come across this :D

Okay, first off, I think it needs to be clarified what Iroh actually said in that scene in regards to sending Zuko to defeat Azula because the two situations are very different and everyone involved knew that. The exchange went as such:

Zuko: Uncle, you’re the only person other than the Avatar who can possibly defeat the fatherlord.... we need you to come with us. 

Iroh: No Zuko, it won’t turn out well. 

Zuko: You can beat him. And we’ll be there to help. 

Iroh: Even if I did defeat Ozai, and I don’t know that I could, it would be the wrong way to end the war. History would see it as more senseless violence: a brother killing a brother to gain power. The only way for this war to end peacefully is if the Avatar defeats the Firelord. 

(dialogue, etc.) 

Iroh: Zuko, you must return to the Fire Nation, so that when the Firelord falls, you can assume the throne and restore peace and order. But Azula will be there waiting for you. 

When I see the argument that Iroh sending Zuko after Azula was hypocritical, I think it ignores the reality of the situation and the pragmatic approach. Because Iroh was absolutely correct throughout this whole exchange. Here were the facts as of this point: 

1. Iroh and Zuko were declared traitors and could not legally assume the throne once Ozai was defeated, meaning Azula would assume the throne by default.

2. By this point in the series, Azula had shown at every point that she was just as enthusiastic about waging war and had shown no remorse for the suffering of the Earth Kingdom at the hands of the Fire Nation. She was particularly enthusiastic about the two major affronts against the Earth Kingdom: conquering Ba Sing Se and using Sozin’s Comet to burn down the Earth Kingdom. 

3. Azula was the one who had the idea for the ‘let’s use the comet to burn down the Earth Kingdom’ plan in the first place and was proud of that plan. If Ozai was defeated, she would have used her position to go through with the plan anyway.

Realistically, this situation is in no way ideal, but the reality is that Azula did need to be stopped from assuming the throne. Make no mistake, if she had the opportunity to do so, she would have been at Ozai’s side burning down the Earth Kingdom instead of staying in the Fire Nation. She was dangerous and needed to be stopped and that was evident from her actions throughout the entire series. 

And the situations of Zuko defeating Azula and Iroh defeating Ozai are completely different, mainly because it was never Zuko or Iroh’s intention for Zuko to kill Azula like everyone else was planning with Ozai. The intent with Zuko going after Azula was to stop her from being crowned, which was a thing that needed to be stopped, otherwise, the war would have continued. And Iroh was absolutely correct in his assumptions: Zuko and Katara arrived in the Fire Nation just before Azula was crowned Firelord. And in the end, as we all know, they didn’t kill her, they just removed her as a threat so Zuko could assume the throne. There is a difference between taking out an actively harmful force in a position of absolute authority (Ozai) and stopping a harmful force from taking a position of absolute authority (Azula). 

There’s also the facts that 1. Iroh had his own history as a general who held siege on Ba Sing Se for 600 days, allegedly committed war crimes, and wasn’t exactly well regarded in the Earth Kingdom. 2. Like he said, a fight between Iroh and Ozai was not one that had a clear victor. Iroh was not the right person to defeat Ozai, Aang was, for many reasons. (There’s also the fact that Iroh’s arc came full circle as he freed the city he once laid siege on, but that has less to do with the pragmatic rationale behind the match ups and more to do with thematic purposes.)

And this is a thing that also bothers me. There’s an argument that Iroh failed Azula and that part of the reason she was how she was fell on him and I don’t think that’s fair. And this post by @withyoutilltheendofthecredits articulates why: 

the ideas “azula was a victim of abuse who was manipulated and hurt by ozai” and “azula had a hand in a lot of trauma for zuko due to her awful treatment of him” can and should coexist

I think it’s important to keep in mind whenever we talk about Iroh, Azula, and Zuko how their dynamic was in season 2. Firstly, Iroh’s priority through this show was to keep Zuko safe. In season 1, he wasn’t so much there to actively help Zuko find Aang (and on multiple occasions seemed to work against Zuko’s mission), but rather was there to stop Zuko from making stupid decisions that would get him killed while offering emotional support and training him to be a better firebender. Does he actually want Zuko to kidnap the Avatar and return to his awful, abusive father? No. But he does want Zuko to have something that gives him hope, something that keeps him going. And Iroh’s priority is to be there to make sure this kid doesn’t do anything too reckless. 

 In season 2, Zuko technically no longer has his mission as he’s deemed an enemy of the Fire Nation and Iroh more explicitly works to help his nephew mentally and emotionally extricate himself from the family members that hurt him. At the beginning of the season when Zuko is excited about going home after Azula lies to them, Iroh voices his suspicion because unlike Zuko, who’s still holding onto the idea that he can win his father’s love, Iroh is able to look at the situation objectively and knows that if Zuko goes home, he’s not going to be safe and he is not going to be met with any sort of love. 

Zuko: Did you listen to Azula? Father’s realized how important family is. He cares about me. 

Iroh: I care about you!

And through the rest of the season, Iroh tries his best to take advantage of their new freedom by showing Zuko that he does deserve control of his own life, happiness, and unconditional love. He’s trying his best to help him through this difficult time because part of Zuko’s emotional struggle in this is reconciling with the fact that no, his father doesn’t want him, at all. When he was banished, he had the ‘if I get the Avatar I can go home’ thing to cling onto, but Iroh and everyone else knew that Ozai never actually intended for Zuko to succeed or return. So Zuko has to deal with that in season 2 and doesn’t get to that point, he still tries to capture Aang and he still joins Azula in Crossroads of Destiny because he’s not ready to let that little bit of hope that he could return home go. It isn’t until he takes a stand against Ozai with the “it was cruel and it was wrong” speech that he really discovers who he is and what he wants and the main reason he’s able to come to that conclusion is because of Iroh’s treatment of him in season 2. 

In season 2, Iroh not only protects Zuko from physical harm and takes care of him in regards to sickness, food, and water, but tries to drill into his head that he didn’t deserve the treatment from his father and shouldn’t throw his life away trying to please him. That he can have and deserves a peaceful life. And Zuko keeps going down the self destructive path because he’s been convinced for so long that him proving himself to his father is more important than his personal safety or happiness. Iroh just wants him to put himself before the man that abused him. He hates it that Zuko almost gets himself killed multiple times for the sake of Ozai. There’s their talk in The Avatar Day and their fight in Lake Laogai that bring this to the forefront: 

Iroh: Even if you did capture the Avatar, I’m not so sure it would solve all our problems. 

Zuko: Then there is no hope at all 

Iroh: No Zuko, you must never give into despair. 

Iroh: And then what?! You never think these things through. This is exactly what happened when you tried to capture the Avatar at the North Pole. You had him and then you had nowhere to go. 

Zuko: I would have figured something out. 

Iroh: No! If his friends hadn’t found you, you would have frozen to death! 

Zuko: I know my own destiny. 

Iroh: Is it your own destiny? Or is it a destiny someone else has tried to force on you? 

And as Iroh acts as Zuko’s protector and tries to break him away from his self destructive mentality, how does Azula fit into that? Here are the interactions between Azula, Zuko, and Iroh in season 2: 

Azula trying to take Zuko and Iroh as prisoners to the Fire Nation with no remorse 

Azula attempting to shoot lightning at Zuko in the first episode of season 2 and Zuko only being saved by Iroh redirecting it at the last second 

Azula shooting Iroh and seriously injuring him (it could have been lighting, but I think it was just fire) 

Azula trying to capture Iroh and Zuko in Ba Sing Se and succeeding 

Azula manipulating Zuko into going back to Ozai 

Objectively, Azula is a threat against Zuko’s safety and there’s a good chance she would have killed him in the first episode of season 2 if Iroh hadn’t stopped her. He knows exactly how dangerous she is and made the decision that he was going to do what it took to keep Zuko safe, which he did. With this exchange in Bitter Work. 

This isn’t Iroh saying ‘I have no sympathy for my niece whatsoever and am choosing to ignore her’. This is Iroh saying ‘Azula has proven herself to be an objective and real threat and I need to keep Zuko safe from her.’ And he was correct. I feel like this stance is reasonable when the last two times she saw them she tried to shoot Zuko with lightning and actually shot Iroh. 

And the reality of the situation is that Iroh shouldn’t have had to be the one to raise Zuko or Azula. He wasn’t their parent and he shouldn’t have had to be responsible for them. Ideally, Ozai should have been the one to do that, but that wasn’t the reality of the situation. And Iroh was faced with a choice: go with Zuko who was banished, injured, and lost, or stay with Azula who was not in a good home with a good influence, but who was still the favored, prodigy princess. He had a choice of which kid to stand behind and I think it’s fair to say that Zuko needed Iroh more when he was banished. 

Ideally, there shouldn’t have been a choice for Iroh. Ideally, Iroh shouldn’t have had to raise his nephew. Ideally, Azula should have had a better parental influence who didn’t encourage her violent streak. But it was by no means an ideal situation. Azula was dangerous and remorseless and Iroh was entirely correct when he saw her rising to power and realized ‘if she isn’t stopped now, there is no telling what she’s going to do’. Because he knows exactly who raised her.

[fakeikemen]

The "Cave of Two Lovers" foreshadows the Zutara interactions in "Crossroads of Destiny"

[And maybe after that too; (yeah this part will be purely based on speculation)]

(See also: A meta that everybody has already written but I haven't because I was living under a rock and watched Avatar very recently)

Like seriously, it is so obvious? I see people try to interpret "The Legend Of Oma and Shu" in so many other ways; like yeah, you're free to interpret it however you want but— most people try to make sense of it while thinking that the tale is just a random occurrence? But it's not.

And here's why:

(I'm so sorry, I tried to add the "keep reading" link here because this gets kinda long but it just won't work) (Also click on the pictures if you want better resolution).

The tale of Oma and Shu is about two lovers who belonged to villages that were at war against each other. To continue meeting each other, they learnt earthbending to create caves in the mountain that divides the two villages. But one day Shu didn't come to the caves. He'd died in the war. So Oma unleashed a terrifying display of her power. And then when people were willing to listen to her, she called off the war and strived for peace between both the villages. As a result the city of Omashu was created— as a monument in remembrance of their love.

So in comparison:

1. Two people belonging to the opposite sides of the war

(Other than the 100 year old war that has been going on, Zuko and Katara are involved in a very fundamental conflict: Capture the Avatar Vs. Protect the Avatar.)

2. With the same colour scheme:

3. Share intimate moments in a cave lit by green crystals:

A popular argument for this comparison is that; Oma and Shu had a positive impressions of each other when they first met. Unlike Zuko and Katara where Katara's first impression of Zuko was pretty negative because he invaded her village.

Zuko and Katara's first proper conversation happens in "Crossroads of Destiny" i.e.; the scene I'm talking about here. After this interaction that they have, I think it's safe to say that they did have positive impressions of each other. (Until Zuko made the wrong choice.)

Other than that, about the colour scheme being a coincidence: Here and here are posts by @marsreds about how the colours are definitely not a coincidence.

But seriously guys? Oma and Shu were the FIRST EARTHBENDERS and yet, instead of greens and yellows they were designed with RED and BLUE?!? (I'll take about Oma's green dress below.)

And on that note, why were Zuko and Katara the only ones who were thrown into the catacombs when everybody else was being held at the dungeons? The dungeons wouldn't have been easy to escape, neither for Zuko nor for Katara.

It's because Zuko and Katara were meant to share an intimate moment in a cave that was supposed to jog our visual memory to remind us of the caves built by Oma and Shu.

(Seriously though, I wasn't really paying attention during CoTL and thought that the Omashu legend was just put in to consume screen time, so I missed the red/blue thing. But then I watched CoD and saw the catacombs and I was like: "Isn't this like that cave made by the lovers?" And then I proceeded to have an oh shit moment because, I knew that Zutara was not canon so I never even considered the possibility of the narrative hinting at anything between them but then this happened. I mean, it's pretty darn obvious).

The colour of the crystals being the same in both caves is no coincidence either— if they just wanted two random caves with crystals, then they could've used a different colour because crystals of different colours exist:

Moving on,

The Visual Cues:

According to the colour coding Zuko = Oma (red) and Katara = Shu (blue).

So,

EXHIBIT A:

I feel like this one speaks for itself.

(I personally think that in this parallel Oma is in red because Katara at this point still sees Zuko as the face of the Fire Nation.)

EXHIBIT B:

This sequence of frames show Oma (dressed in green, like Zuko was in the catacombs) and Shu (dressed in his usual blue), standing on neutral territory and reaching out to each other and then being torn apart by the war.

Pretty much like:

The first time they are in each other's presence without the cause of their conflict (i.e. the Avatar), Zuko and Katara reach out to each other empathetically and attain bone deep understanding of each other within a matter of minutes. This whole encounter is in Ba Sing Se, which counts for the neutral territory because it hadn't been completely taken over by Fire Nation at that point.

And honestly? The raw vulnerability and intimacy of this scene and the high emotional energy of their powerful dynamic is just— wow. (I put off my binging spree for a whole day because I didn't have the heart to see Zutara not become canon after all of this.)

And soon after, Zuko and Katara face each other in battle, their tentative friendship torn apart, as they fight from their respective sides of the war.

EXHIBIT C:

Whenever Oma and Shu appear in the same frame during the visualization of the legend, Oma is always on the left half of the frame and Shu is on the right.

Similarly, throughout all their interactions in the Catacombs, whenever the frame exclusively includes Zuko and Katara, Zuko (like Oma) is on the left half of the frame and Katara (like Shu) is on the right.

The parallels (or foils rather):

#1

In CoTL, we see Song who is a healer (cures Iroh of his poisoning). She mentions that she hasn't seen her father since a Fire Nation raid took place in her village. Zuko empathises with her and says that he too hasn't seen his father in a long while. But then he refuses to say anything else about it.

Later Song tries to reach out to Zuko and tries to touch his scar— which Zuko prevents her from. She shows Zuko her own scars to show that she understood him.

And yet, Zuko doesn't open up to her.

After a while of life-changing and eye-opening experiences, in CoD, when Katara has her meltdown and cries while saying that her mother was snatched away from her by the Fire Nation; Zuko sees an opening to offer an olive branch and he takes it, he empathises with her and tells her that how his mother was snatched away by the Fire Nation as well.

Then Zuko opens up to Katara in a show of complete vulnerability. He openly talks about his scar and what he feels about it. In response, Katara offers to heal his scar and then Zuko lets her touch his scar.

It was nothing but a deliberate choice to make Song slightly parallel Katara (a healer, lost a parent because of the war) and then making Zuko not open up to her and not let her touch the scar, only for Katara to be the one he opened up to and allowed to touch the scar.

#2

After being trapped with Aang in the cave in CoTL and sharing an intimate moment with him, as soon as they find their way out, Katara runs straight ahead without looking back.

But after her time with Zuko, trapped in the Catacombs in CoD, while leaving she turns back to look at Zuko.

Judging by the amount of time the animation puts into showing us Aang's disappointment at Katara running off and into making it clear that Katara did look back at Zuko and that Zuko looked right back at her, to me, it feels like the choice to show this was pretty deliberate.

(Turning back to look at a person while leaving is a romantic trope that has been overused to death? Or is it just bollywood?)

Also I wouldn't have paid this much attention to this small detail if not for the fact that just a hint of the Omashu legend theme is played here?

No, I swear I'm not making it up.

The Omashu legend theme is used in CoD:

The Omashu legend theme is largely dominated by the music of a stringed instrument (forgive me, I don't know what it's called) alongwith a steady melody playing in the background.

In CoD, when Katara and Zuko start conversing for real, (i.e.; when Katara says: "I'm sorry I yelled at you.") what sounds like a variation of the background melody in the Omashu legend theme, starts its subtle ascent as the background score, but sans the music of the stringed instrument.

It is when Katara says: "Maybe you could be free of it." [About Zuko's scar], when then first hint of the stringed instrument is heard. It is only a single note of the strings but it's there. And this "single note" sound keeps on repeating at regular intervals with the melody building up until Aang and Iroh burst into the catacombs.

But then, when Katara is leaving with Aang and she turns back to look at Zuko, this time the music that plays for a few seconds at best, is dominated by the stringed instrument again and this time it's unmistakable.

Also I don't think this music is used anywhere else in the course of the whole show? So it can't really be a coincidence? But I don't really know. I'm saying this on the basis of as far as my memory can reach.

And this is as far as canon stands testimony to what I am trying to say here.

But what about the second half of the story yk, the dying thing, you say?

Well this is where the speculations come in.

Speculation Time:

#1

As a thumb rule, a romance foreshadowed by a tragic tale is meant to have a happy ending.

So this time when Katara's (Shu) life is in danger (Azula's lightning bolt), Zuko (Oma) steps in at the nick of time to save her life (by jumping infront of Katara to intercept the lightning).

(Since I have crossed the limit of images in a post, here is a post by @araeph which illustrates this point.)

Yes, I am completely aware that Zuko taking the lightning bolt for Katara is not his declaration of love for her. What I mean to say is that the whole scene was so very painfully obviously romantically framed (the immediate change in music when Zuko realises where the lightning bolt was headed, both of their expressions, Zuko's agonized "Nooooo", the slow-mo throughout the shot).

I am also aware that Zuko would've taken the lightning bolt for anyone. But it is the narrative that demands that Zuko take the lightning bolt for Katara and Katara only. Because this has atleast 10 different payoffs (a direct callback to the Book 2 finale where Azula had shot Aang with the lightning; the grief of which was for Katara to bear but this time Zuko himself stands between the lightning and Katara instead of being the silent spectator, the culmination of both Zuko and Katara's personal character arcs, Zuko's scar would parallel Aang's: Aang got it because he chose Katara over the world and Zuko got it because he was willing to give up the world to save Katara, etc, etc).

Tl;dr: The lightning scene wouldn't hold all that much weight if it wasn't Zuko taking the hit for Katara because the narrative literally demands it.

#2

This is where we start wading into really murky waters.

From mucking around on Tumblr due to Zutara feels™, I came across this post where some of the ideas for Book 4 were written:

• The Southern Water Tribe experienced the longest series of attacks from the Fire Nation. Zuko and Katara become political partners and work together to help end the animosity and repair relations between their two nations.

• Just like how Zuko learned to appreciate the Earth Kingdom, he would learn to appreciate the Water Tribes. Katara also learns to respect the complexity of Fire Nation culture. There is no such thing as an “evil” nation.

And that basically means that Zuko and Katara would've been working together to de-escalate the hostility between their respective nations and improve the relations between the two nations, while learning about each other's cultures simultaneously as the world would be in the process of being rebuilt after the war and they would be major role-players in shaping the new world.

Which is quite similar to how Oma strived for peace between the two villages and then as a result of the improved relations between the villages, the city of Omashu was built as a monument to the love story of Oma and Shu; which might just be symbolic of building a new world where both the villages could live in peace due to the initiative taken by Oma on behalf of herself and Shu.

The story would've come a full circle; that's all I'm saying.

If you've stuck around for this long, thank you for taking the time to read this long ass post with points that you may already have read ♥️

[steampunkforever]

I’m immediately enchanted by First Reformed, an unsurprising fact to those of you who understand how obsessed I am with 1.33:1 aspect ratio, but the way the narrative treats Ethan Hawke’s character was especially well done.

Firstly, compared to productions like The Clovehitch Killer that get the general feel of ____ Flavor of Christianity correct but don’t understand the nuances and convictions of actual Christians enough to treat them as more than shallow caricatures, First Reformed is elegant. 

Where Clovehitch Killer gets the aesthetics of trad christianity down to a T but crashes and burns trying to understand how these people actually think, First Reformed Flies on wings of sophistication when dealing with the faith crisis of Hawke’s pastor character. It GETS it, and tries its best communicating the themes in a way that gives the parties involved dynamic, well-rounded characters.

The megachurch congregation that Hawke’s character interacts with is definitely lampooned, but in a criticism of organized religion that I feel is largely fair, and not too cheap a shot even if very 2D in its portrayal.

The youth group scene was the only real strawman I saw (I cringed so hard when watching it), to the extent that it portrayed young christianity the same way that “reefer madness” portrayed young pot smokers, but any secondhand embarrassment I had for the writers was soon erased by how well they captured the inner struggle of a pastor attempting to reconcile environmental damage and climate change with the biblical command to be good stewards.

From a plot and story structure standpoint, First Reformed uses Hawke’s pastor character and that of the extremist as foils for each other. Both of these men have the same strong convictions and ideals, but where the extremist isolates from Amanda Seyfreid’s central figure and ultimately meets his demise, Hawke’s pastor character instead draws closer to her and the connection between them is what prevents him from following in the footsteps of the man whose explosives-laden vest he inherited. 

In a way the pastor steps right into the shoes of the extremist, holding the same struggle with authority, feeling the same despair at the irreparable state of the world, and ultimately the same affections for Seyfreid’s semi-angelic presence. This is where the conflict of the film hinges. Will one man follow in the footsteps that he seems destined to, and will that put him in the same grave as his predecessor?

And to top it all off they shot it in 1.33:1. Exquisite.

[beyond-far-horizons]

Analysing the Zutara Cave Scene from a Writing and Psychological perspective

Forgive me, I’m an enthusiastic newbie to the ATLA fandom and Zutara (mainly because I knew the ship was perfect for me but was not canon and so I held off watching it for years.) So I know you’ve heard it all before but I wanted to break down this famous scene in more depth from my background as both a writer and a student of psychology. It’s also important since the age old ship wars are being resurrected (which I want no part of) and Zutara and this scene has been looked down on and belittled from some quarters. 

Warning - Wall of Text TM incoming!

The main thing that gets most people is these mortal enemies going from hating each other to being open and vulnerable in about five minutes of screen time. I get the impression more time and therefore more conversation has gone on off screen, but it’s amazing that Katara goes from tirade at the literal face of the Fire Nation (a country whose plagued her people and killed her mother, and Zuko himself who has hunted her and her friends, captured her at least twice and has had several intense fights with her) 

to tenderly touching Zuko’s face and “let me use our one of its kind Holy Water TM to maybe heal your face.” 

Also as others have pointed out Zuko lets this ‘peasant’ (who defeated him, wounded his pride and foiled his lifelong goal several times) touch his scar when he doesn’t let anyone else do that at this point, even girls he’s been close to. 

I doubt many Zutara shippers think this happened because the two suddenly decided the other was hot, even though there might be an unconscious physical attraction under all the animosity. But no-one can deny the writers were trying to show a shared connection that makes them open up to each other. That to me makes the relationship much deeper whether it’s platonic or romantic. 

Katara, despite her understandable rage at Zuko, is surprisingly open to forgiving and helping him as soon as he  -

a) mentions they have something in common - the Fire Nation being responsible in some way for the loss of their mothers.

b) his resolution to make his own destiny and overcome his difficult past associated with the scar.

I just love this about her character. She’s passionate, feisty and full of integrity but she can’t stop herself wanting to help make things better, even to one of her worst enemies. Her compassion is such a strength and it comes out even more when she realises she’s accidentally hurt his feelings re his face.

Zuko in turn is softer with her than I’ve ever seen him with others, even Iroh most of the time. He doesn’t get angry or even really defensive and he opens up about his mother for the first time. Extraordinary considering he’s talking to an enemy.

But this isn’t the first time he’s tried to win Katara over against his normal combative persona. When he captured her in Ep 9 you’d expect him to threaten her, especially surrounded by his men and bloodthirsty pirates. Instead he asks for her understanding and tells her (the little peasant and enemy of the Fire Nation) about his lost honour.

He then goes momentarily into full skeevy villain mode (which I loved) and offers her necklace back by placing it round her neck. (As an aside, yes this was totally the wrong tactic considering it was her mother’s who the Fire Nation killed, but I do love that he unknowingly offered her a Water Tribe betrothal necklace.)

Analysing it more deeply from a writing and psychology perspective, I’d say Katara represents the integrity and vulnerability that is at the core of Zuko’s character - the thing that got him that scar and banishment from his warlike family. 

The same side he struggles with and that Iroh tries to heal and encourage within him. It’s masterly from a writing POV that they brought this mirror up and allowed Zuko to connect and own this aspect of himself again briefly before Azula (the opposite representation and Zuko’s ‘shadow’) literally crashes the party. This is truly his ‘crossroads of destiny’, raising the stakes and therefore making us  - the audience - ache all the more when Zuko makes the wrong but understandable decision to choose Azula and his family’s version of him and betray not just Katara but Iroh too (dat angst.)

(As an aside look at the framing of the above shot. They do this alot showing him literally caught between two sides. In the previous scene with Azula and Iroh, they show both the unscarred and then scarred profile of Zuko to show the ‘two sides of him’ symbolically represented by Azula and Iroh.)

Two sides, Fire and Water, the battle of opposites and the bringing of balance is of course the core of ATLA, and Zuko and Katara’s fraught relationship sums this theme up perfectly. Another reason so many still ship them and feel aggrieved by the non-canon ending. 

I think Zuko is so wounded by Katara’s refusal to forgive him and so determined to earn that forgiveness is because she represents his true ‘honour’ - the right way to be - to fight for balance and justice with integrity no matter what. Thus he must make amends to her, not just as someone he has wronged, but as the mirror of that aspect in himself. 

Thematically this is tied up beautifully in him asking her to join him to defeat Azula in the final season and them working together to do so. 

(As another aside, the theme of balance and Yin and Yang is also mirrored in Zuko and Katara’s relationship and character development. At the start Katara is the caring, altruistic almost motherly sort and Zuko is the angry, aggressive pursuer. However like Yin and Yang that contain an aspect of the other within them, whenever Katara meets Zuko she becomes more aggressive and is allowed to process her grief and anger, unlike with her friends. Zuko, in turn is often softened by her, reawakening his compassion and deeper feelings. Yes these aspects are also fostered by others, but Season 3 highlights this dynamic to Zutara allowing Katara to address her anger and Zuko to practice caregiving and support.)

Coming back to the Cave Scene -  the most poignant part for me isn’t actually the face touch (even though I love it). It’s the final glance between them as Katara and Aang leave. Katara looks back worried, it’s as if she can sense the threshold Zuko is on and feels torn between staying and supporting him and her duty to Aang. I feel if they had had more time together Azula would have had less chance to turn Zuko. 

He looks back at her softly and there’s a beautiful musical cue, hinting at things unsaid and unfinished, she gives him a final lingering glance, still anxious, then goes. 

We all know what happens next. 

Conclusion

Looking at this from a purely plot point of view it - 

raises the emotional stakes and therefore make Zuko’s betrayal hurt worse.

Sets up Zuko knowing about Katara’s healing abilities and Spirit Water so he knows there is a possibility the Avatar could be saved. This all plays into the shenanigans of Book 3, letting Zuko go back to the Fire Nation, Azula giving him the credit and then letting down her father etc.

Giving Zuko more character development work to earn everyone’s trust esp Katara’s when he finally makes the right choice.

However I’m surprised that Bryke didn’t realise how this episode would look to the eyes of most fans esp Zutarians. Yes you could say it’s hetero-normative and why can’t they be just platonic etc but it was the Noughties, it’s a kids show and they are blatantly playing into those well known tropes - Zuko’s previous verging-on flirtatious treatment of Katara, his uncharacteristic softness and openness with her, her touching his scar, the music, their lingering glances, Aang’s jealous look (you could argue it was animosity towards his enemy but while we get this from Zuko, it is definitely played as suspicion about a potential rival so close to ‘his girl’ from Aang’s side.)

Ultimately the writers didn’t choose the romantic route, which I feel is a real shame and missed opportunity because of the depth of feeling and potential there. But what I really resent is when people act like Zutarians were stupid and/or biased for seeing and loving that potential. I hope this analysis has shown that the romantic subtext was strong (and much more believable for me than with Katara and Aang) and in line with the core themes of ATLA itself. This also refutes the suggestion that Zutara was somehow dark, toxic or shallow cos ‘he’s a bad boy’ or something. 

Zuko was owning his own struggles, emotions and destiny in this scene, it’s why Katara finally opens up to him. She doesn’t have to ‘do the work for him’, but she supports him in it as he supports her later on when he earns her forgiveness. And that’s why I love it!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk...

[tundrainafrica]

Hi, i saw some time ago you compared Royai to Levihan, would you mind elaborating more on their similarities? I ship both and looking at they compared blow my mind

YES. Beautiful ask anon! As always, sorry for only getting into this now, my inbox is still a mess I am currently trying to make sense of. But legit, I could talk about this for hours. Cause I’m that fucking simp who just randomly goes on Youtube and watches the Riza breakdown vs. Lust  scene just to see some GREATTT acting and some great crumbs. 

So anyway, will be moving on now to this really long and--mind you--uncurated rant. 

Disclaimer though: Although I have watched all the fullmetal stuff, from the first anime, to brotherhood to the manga and have lurked in the fanfiction sites long before (like fam, this anime is literally my childhood it’s such a big part of my life that when I hear ‘mustang’ I think of roy mustang not the car), but at this point, the main story line for me is a blur and I probably just remember only the Roy scenes and the Royai scenes well. 

I was not a big fan of Edwin for multiple reasons. 

Warning: Spoilers abound for FMA so read at your own risk. And for people who watch FMA but not AOT, spoilers abound for AOT is well.

So there are a lot of similarities between Levihan and Royai and I think this is the reason why Levihan definitely appealed to me a lot as a couple. Royai after all was my OG ‘I think I wanna be in this type of relationship’ type of couple. 

Military Setting

I’ve always found these types of relationships interesting cause I like to think, you’re in such a high stakes and very stringent atmosphere where you could die at any moment and you’re constantly doing such morally grey things. And with that, people have the tendency to either close in on themselves and just keep to themselves or just go crazy over time. Yet you have people who find the time to form CLOSE and almost ROMANTIC bonds with your fellow soldiers

And I just like the process of exploring how this happens. And you know what makes it juicier? 

    2. The commander to the subordinate dynamic (with a twist)

The boss to the follower dynamic because Royai and Levihan are both incredibly healthy and stable relationships but they both come from something taboo right? A commander to subordinate relationship? So we ask ourselves? How did they both make it work? 

Well, what I notice is despite the implied respect Riza and Levi both hold for Roy and Hange respectively, due to their positions in the military, do you notice Hange and Roy still have respect over Levi and Riza’s opinions. I cannot remember all the scenes in both shows but remember that scene where Riza would just stop Roy half way into fighting when it’s raining because sometimes he does forget that he can’t do his fire thing when it’s raining? It shows obviously that Riza could undermine his decisions if she finds them completely idiotic or out of the blue. Or that scene where Roy was curbstomping Envy when he found out Envy killed Hughes? 

So, the thing is Levi and Hange worked like this too. Even before Hange became commander, I think there was an already implied hierarchical difference between being ‘squad leader’ and being ‘team captain.’ Squad leader’s are generally in a higher position and command a much larger group and do you see how Levi approaches Hange? Like when telling her off about risking her life when trying to capture the titan? 

And even when she was commander, that telepathy scene?? Can we appreciate, that when Hange became commander (compared to when Erwin was commander), Levi took the reins of a lot of the leading in the survey corps, as if he understood his job wasn’t just to follow Hange but to take care of her? 

Like I’m sure Riza saw her job more as a caretaker to Roy more than his subordinate and seeing this in Levihan was just fantastic.

And another thing I love about both of them...

  3. They were just the two competent level headed people

This is such a trope for me. I cannot handle couples where someone is just not competent or is so obviously underpowered compared to the other. Like I want them to be able to handle themselves without the other. And even when they’re alone they’re doing shit and you just find out later, by the way I have this bf/gf/partner who is equally competent. But when we’re together we just share one brain cell because we can practically melt when we’re safe with the other. 

And the thing is since they’re in a military setting we don’t see them ‘practically melt,’ we can usually just pick out the crumbs (ehem 126), and the fact that these crumbs are such rare gems, makes it all the jucier. 

And here’s the thing, in animes and in stories, this ‘competent people’ couple is usually supporting cast cause I dunno? Nobody wants to hear about the competent couple who just figured out they like each other and they just like hanging out with each other for some reason? 

And most adventure stories are underdog stories where we watch people start of as dead weight and get stronger which is not boring per se but I dunno, these couples usually dont’ appeal to me fsr because I’m all for the power couple dynamic and the protagonists always have something going on making them doubt their strength so yeah.  And there’s usually this token love interest who’s not as strong and tries not to be useless but is kinda dead weight.

4. Their special abilities? 

Levi and Hange are a power couple the way Roy and Riza are. When these two couples were introduced into their respective stories, they were all well established as bad asses. We have humanity’s strongest, humanity’s smartest then in FMA we have the flame alchemist one of the strongest alchemists and we have Riza who’s crazy good with a gun. 

5. They were never that in your face couple

As said above, I really love competent people ships but nobody really likes reading about people being competent and having their level headed shit together so these characters end up with more of supporting character energy who have their ‘big damn heroes’ moments where they swoop in and save the protagonist. 

And the thing is, since they’re supporting characters, there’s so much more room to move when contemplating such couples because the crumbs are there? But at the same time they’re not there? And since I like exploring my own headcanons about those ‘boring’ yet incredibly stable and mature relationships, these tend to be my favorite characters to shoehorn into my spotify playlists.

Edwin and Eremika respectively have more ‘in your face’ crumbs and I dunno, their crumbs for me always seemed to be too obviously there where I was like ‘okay cute relationship’ but  ‘I wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship like that’  kinda way. 

And since main protagonist romantic subplots crumbs are already ‘in my face’ I end up thinking to myself, what’s there to headcanon?

And like they go through so much more problems romance wise since obviously they are the protagonist. But I guess for me, I never liked those couples who were so obviously together and go through problems that bystanders are aware of. Because I dunno, people might not agree with me but it doesn’t sit well with me when EVERYBODY knows about the problems between two certain people in a relationship. 

I always liked those couples who just start off as two people hanging out together and then like five years you find out, they live together and have five cats and it turns out they’ve been married for two of those three years. 

And power couples just make it work? Because the stories tend to focus on them being competent people more than being in love so when the coupling actually happens it’s like: 

“Wow you live together and have five cats, you worked so hard for it, I’m so happy for you.” 

Instead of you know, watching people go through like 3456 instances of miscommunication drama just to end up in a still seemingly doubtful relationship.

6. Iconic scenes for Levihan and Royai? 

And here’s the beautiful thing about the crumbs of both of these ships, they are incredibly apparent when the stakes are high and this is *chef’s kiss.* This is literally the climax, the peak to such subtle crumbs. Like okay, fine it’s satisfying to see the main protagonist and their main love interest doing shit and loving each other when the stakes are high like in Season 2 of AOT with Mikasa thinking she’s gonna die so she confesses to Eren or maybe that Naruto and HInata scene in the Pain Arc where Hinata just pops in and saves Naruto and kinda dies in the process

But can we all agree that there is something very very very satisfying about seeing two people who are probably not or are probably dating just going crazy for each other when the stakes are high? Like yo, come on. 

My favorite scenes for Royai: The Lust fight scene, the Envy fight scene and lastly, the scene where Roy opens the gates to save Riza and goes blind. Can we just appreciate the fact that Roy risked his Colonel dreams to save Riza by going blind??

And for Levihan? I’m sure Levihans are tired of hearing the chapter numbers but 115? That’s fucking iconic, Hange ltierally jumped into the river with Levi and please tell me that is not a parallel to Roy opening the gates for an already half dead Riza. Mind you, Hange did not even know if Levi would make it or not and she probably didn’t know if she would make it or not either. Any of the soldiers could have literally just shot into the river and nicked them with bullets.  She just literally abandoned everything and wooshed to the river. 

And I had this convo with a few other people and we were thinking about what if it was anyone else who found Levi. And we came to the conclusion that IT HAD TO BE HANGE. Because somehow, I feel like Hange would have been one of the only few, if not the only one who would have gathered up the courage to jump into the river and risk their own life to save Levi. 

And for the next part... Disclaimer: This is just my opinion, please let’s not start a ship war.

Like with the war on twitter “Levihan vs. Eruri,” I started to reflect as well on whether or not Erwin would have saved Levi if he was there instead of Hange but I think it is less likely that Erwin would have saved Levi. Erwin probably wouldn’t have agreed with the rumbling definitely but I cannot help but think, Erwin approached his commander position like a chess master and with this, approached Levi as a superior while Hange approached Levi as an equal and a best friend. 

So if, saving Erwin was just going to mess with plans let’s say to manipulate the Yaegerists for some greater purpose, would Erwin have just let Levi die? 

7. The magic is no one fits Roy or Riza perfectly.

I had these same thoughts with Shikatema vs. Levihan and now Royai vs. Levihan. So comparing their dynamics, I just have to say, that none of them fit each other perfectly. Hange has Riza and Roy crumbs and Levi has Riza and Roy crumbs too. 

Like Roy is some ridiculously strong (Levi) superior (Commander Hange) with a seemingly goofy personality (Hange). Riza is the subordinate (Levi) who’s equally reliable but not as overpowered (Hange) with a very strict but very obviously emotionally constipated personality (Levi) 

Like if you put Levihan in some of the token Royai moments. Like the Lust fight? I think Levi would have done something similar to Riza. Okay, he wouldn’t have broken down right then but he would have done something similar to what Roy did when he found out Envy killed Hughes. 

I’m convinced Hange would have had a breakdown which is more of an in between between what Roy (Envy fight) and Riza (Lust fight) had in their respective fights. I mean 115 is proof enough that Hange ain’t playing when her bebeluvs is in danger. 

8. And towards the end of the series?

Okay this is where the comparisons just kinda diverge because this part makes me sad. In the end game, Royai worked together. Riza became the eyes of Roy when he was making shit explode in the final battle coz he was blind. 

And Hange and Levi were completing each other towards the of the AOT end right? Not just with the jian bird references with having parallel injuries. In the final battle though when Levi was out of commission due to the explosion, Hange was the one fighting with the crew until 132. And the moment she died, Levi stepped up and fought right? 

Like they had something similar going on, where these two were covering for each other and taking care of the kids. It’s just that compared to Royai who were explicitly working together, we have Hange covering for Levi right after he got injured and Levi stepping up to cover for Hange after she died. 

AND I can’t help but think, literally post time skip just could not handle Levihan working together huh? Is that how competent Levi and Hange are as soldiers that Yams couldn’t let them work together just one last time? Like he knew it would mess with the story if he lets Levi and Hange lead at full power?

Which brings me to last point, and the point that makes me saddest.

9. About them being endgame? 

Okay, so it wasn’t confirmed that Roy and Riza ended up together because Roy still had his fuhrer goals but AT LEAST THEY HAD A CHANCE? Like their last scene in the show was still them together? And Riza still at least got to follow him? 

Levihan… They just… shit just happened and we all know what happened and now I’m reading fanfiction and crying over fcitoonal characters to pass the quarantine.

Anyway, if you reached this point, thank you for reading. And thank you for the question anon!