#inspired by my despair buddy

[thatbuddie]

MARIA HIIIIII i would love love love “What’s worse is, this is the first time I’ve genuinely felt this way about someone.” if it sparks inspiration 💕

oh my god it definitely sparked inspiration but i don't know how it ended up being this kskskks i hope you like it, kris *mwaaah*

never ask for any of it back

buddie | 2.4k | outsider pov, getting together, love confession

“Yeah.” Eddie nods. “I’m his best friend. I can’t count the number of times Buck’s said that to me. His best friend.” Hen has heard Buck use those exact same words before, as well. She’s heard him say them jokingly, in passing, earnestly, in joy, in despair. She has always, always, been able to hear the meaning behind them. She wonders if Eddie has ever been able to tell that when Buck says best friend he means soulmate. “Well, isn’t he yours as well?” Hen asks him. “Of course he is,” Eddie needlessly confirms. “He’s the best friend I’ve ever had. But I’m greedy, and I ruin everything, and I want more. I want so much more. I want him. All of him.” So have him, Hen thinks. Eddie, let yourself have him.

(read on ao3.)

[ineffable-opinions]

Top 10 BL Novels I Read In 2024

10. Love Supremacy Zone by 화차

Adapted into a manhwa Love Interest Zone, and live action in 2024 Love for Love's Sake which inspired me to watch it. When I started watching the series, I felt that something was off. That I was missing out on a great deal. So, I jumped right into the book. Novel was not only more detailed, the storytelling was so brilliant that it brought about overwhelming emotions – despair, relief, happiness, etc. Going in, I had lots of theories in my head about the identity of many characters including the author-sunbae. I had expected Cha YeoWoon to be the author and Tae MyungHa to be his junior (because of military service) since Tae MyungHa’s life before transmigration and the story of the stalking horse in the novel (which was turned into game) were so similar. Cha YeoWoon is one of the best younger gong (Korean for seme), I have come across in a while. While this one and I, A Gangster, Became a High School Student had older people occupying younger bodies, I liked the latter better. I felt that some of the game assigned tasks were not making much sense towards the end, especially those involving gathering followers on social networking sites. The game system seemed to be acting up as it pleased without much rhyme or reason, which I found difficult to stomach. Extras are really good in this one.

9. Deadlock volume 1 by Aida Saki

Aida Saki passed away this year. While there are other works by the same author that had left a deeper impression on me, this one stands out for being the most political among them all. From prison politics to hybrid identities, there is a lot that the uke deals with as a half-Japanese with a Hispanic upbringing who serving sentence for the murder of his buddy cop in the USA. Maybe the foreign setting offers Japanese authors like Aida-sensei more liberty when it comes to dealing with complex social, political and economic issues, within and outside the prison. Unfortunately, the seme wasn't very impressive - that's an Aida Saki thing, I guess.  Recommended for those who enjoyed Manner of Death, Spare Me Your Mercy and BL comics like Under Grand Hotelby Sadahiro Mika (manga) and Shutline by Kyou (manhwa).

8. Try Me เสพร้าย สัมผัสรัก (ChaiWin story) by MAME

gif by @boosnbugs

The moment Chai appeared in Love in the Air, I wanted to know his story and was super-excited to discover the novel when he was main character. Win fell for Chai in his early youth. Years later, he is yet to move on properly after being rejected by his mafioso cousin's righthand man. Chai is bound by duty. Win and Chai's lives keep colliding. Win returns to Thailand amid situations that force Chai to personally provide him with security. Meddlesome ex-lovers and uncle shenanigans to complete the clusterfuck the start of their romance is set to be. Recommended for those who liked TulHin from the novel Breath or from the series Love by Chance Season 2: A Chance to Love as well as the Taiwanese BL series Kiseki: Dear to Me. Even though I read Try Me (PakinGraph story) before this one, it can be read as a stand-alone.

7. I, A Gangster, Became a High School Student by 호롤

Adapted into a manhwa and a controversial bromance live action High School Return of a Gangster in 2024 which inspired me to read the novel.I was glad for it. The book is an absolute delight. It is pretty different from the live action. The transmigrator and his lover have to overcome many difficulties on the way. I had expected the original soul to take hold of the body the gangster was occupying at the end at least based on certain rumors on the internet. But that was not the case. Even though the body was that of a teenager, gangster was a middle-aged man, with all corresponding life experience and attitude. Author did a good job of maintaining that throughout. Certain parts of the novel, especially the face slapping parts, were very makjang. While I think it was dealt better in the novel than in the series, I wanted something different. While the su was a responsible older person in a teenager’s body, gong was the opposite for most parts. the interaction between gong’s father and su were really nice. I also found the bully’s relationship with original soul versus his relationship our su pretty sad, on both counts.

6. Why? ทำไมต้องร้าย...ทำไมต้องรัก (Part 1) by Yeonim

gif by @pharawee

The main couple in this one Nan (Day’s friend) and Mac (Day’s love rival). Nan is an excellent self-aware psychopath for whom Mac is an interesting plaything. There is a great deal of back and forth between them that keeps readers engaged throughout. Nan is kind of a yandere character, especially when it comes to those whom he wants to toy with. Mac is no saint but his cruelty is warped and oft amounts to nothing when faced with the different issues the couple has to face, marking how different his relationship is with what he wanted with Itt. Meanwhile, both of them dotes on each other. The time they spend in Nan’s house, especially the veranda with the little pond in front, is some of the best I have ever come across in a BL. The side CP in this one between Dew and Three, who were interested in Mac and Nan respectively and bond over that. They go from being comrades to lovers with some Nan’s non-consensual exhibitionism being the trigger. Link to Part 2.

Honorable mentions:

The Missing Piece by Kun Yi Wei Lou I love Kun Yi Wei Lou’s works in general, especially her older works with fantasy and historical setting. Among the novels with modern setting this one and Ex-boyfriend are my favorites. It has one of most exciting tropes – substitute lover! But then there are misunderstandings too. So, things aren’t exactly what they seem.

The university set BL Test Love and salaryman, yakuza BL OatShin Diary by MAME – I read it to read about Oat who is mentioned in Love Storm novel as the best racer and got his illegal racing parts replaced with Prapai in Love in the Air and with Kawai Fuma in Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan. I loved their story the best too. Test Love offers glimpse into Phayu’s campus life as a student of architecture and shows us where his reputation as a famous helpful senior comes from. Test Love also has Phayu’s twin brother and his girlfriend. Many characters from Love by Chance are friends with characters in Test Love and there is a cool seaside vacation get-together.

กูจะร้าย...ให้มึงรัก (GearNight story) by Yeonim I got into novel through the movie Love Syndrome: The Beginning that focuses heavily of the murky start to the characters relationship. The characters we encounter in Love Syndrome III have journeyed through lot of ups-and-downs and the novels are really engaging, especially for me as I love meriba endings a lot. They grow as a couple a lot between the immature couple they are in the novel and the awesome couple they are in later novels (where they appear). The side couple FourGus had a troubled start consisting of an early sexual debut that ultimately left Gus pining and Four repenting. It was one of those when-will-they relationships that stands out in the novel. There are so many couples in Yeonim’s universe, it is overwhelming. Thanks to @mygwenchan for this excellent list of Yeonim’s works.

5. Love Sand by MAME

I have been trying to get into Thai BL novels for a while now with varying degrees of luck. This one had me hooked. Khom, the main character in Love Sand, has been familiar to me through TharnType and Love Sea dropped so many little details of his relationship with Connor. While Khom was great, Connor was the most thought-provoking, to say the least. This work tackled different aspects of sex work - gratification and pecuniary reward, romance and emotional toll, racism, race as fetish, etc. I had previously commented on how certain characters MAME created reads like ethnography. This one takes it to areas that are difficult to talk about from one single dimension alone. Moothon (2019) did intersection right and that's why it is the banner of this BLog. Love Sand gave me a close enough experience. Recommended for audience interested in intersectionality with focus on a white Canadian with Thai-upbringing via doting step-mother of Thai origin, as well as those who love wife chasing crematorium, with significant value gap.

4. 服了生育刑的alpha by 星河蛋挞

An omegaverse story about a remorseless alpha arrested on charges of sexual assault choosing to undergo multiple births rather than spend long years in jail. Even though the novel was written in 2022, it deals with a lot of issues that’s in discussion currently, especially in the West, post-US elections and Gisèle Pelicot’s courageous legal battle in the Mazan rape case, such as reproductive rights, sexual crimes, sexism, righteousness, punishment, reformation along with issues such as sex work and law and order and justice system from cops to courts. The novel is available on patreon.

3. 虎三不哭 (Third Tiger, Don’t Cry) by 间歇性咆哮

This is the tale of a crybaby tiger and his haughty lover deer (all in their animal forms throughout but with human like thought process, motivations and emotions). They have to struggle through the different challenges that nature and nurture have placed in their path. Recommended for those who enjoy older danmei as well as those who enjoy animal characters or characteristics such as in Caged Again and Choco Milk Shake.

2. Mr. Zhang and Mr. Zhang 《张先生和张先生》 by 王泡小泡

I started reading this with plans to write a post on Love in the Big City. This novel has been adapted into live action Kinematics TheoryandThe Ambiguous Focus. This is about a couple who are about to celebrate the anniversary of having spent a decade together. They get caught up in the whirlwind of seven ten-years-itch and more that threatens to uproot not only their relationship with each other but also with those around them. Recommended for those who enjoyed Love in the Big City and its adaptations, and for the fans of Fei Tian Ye Xiang’s 北城天街 (Bei Cheng Tian Street).

1. Utsukushii Koto by Konohara Narise

A gynephilic man falls for a crossdressing salaryman from the same company but different department. While this is not the best work from Konohara Narise, I enjoyed it the most among all the BL novels I have read this year. Recommended for those who enjoyed Mood Indigo, Smells Like Green Spirit or Wait for Me at Udagawachou.

Top 20 BL Live-action of 2024

[danganronpadedication]

DAY 7: DANGANTOBER

Day 7: Fandom Crossover

Once again, I was inspired by another person here on this wonderful hellsite I call home, @lobotoboy and their post about a Ride the Cyclone x Danganronpa AU, so that's what I will discuss.

Fun fact for all of you, I am a recovering theater kid. Yes, I manage to get more cringe each and every day. One day, I shall absorb all the cringe in the world and ascend to godhood. I was not one of the crazier ones, I wasn't talented enough to be in the inner circle and actually do shows after a while. But I was engrossed in certain shows, mainly horror ones like the Hatchetfield series, Jekyll and Hyde, Carrie, and We Are The Tigers (this one is underrated, it's Bring It On meets Scream). The musical that managed to get me to relapse a while ago, is Ride the Cyclone, whose soundtrack I'm listening to as I write this.

Without spoiling the show, because I highly recommend it to anybody with even a little bit of interest in it, here is the general plot. It follows a group of choir kids, consisting of two girls, Ocean O'Connell Rosenburg, a go-getter girl with big dreams and a superiority complex, and Constance Blackwood, a sweet girl who's spent her whole life in Uranium City with no plans on leaving. The boys of the group are Noel Gruber, a nihilist with a...certainly unique method of escapism, Mischa Bachinski, a Ukranian rapper with an online lover he met in the YouTube comment section, and Ricky Potts, a disabled boy who, despite being mute, has a certain love for cats.

These five get their fortunes read by an animatronic fortune teller, named The Amazing Karnak, before getting on the Cyclone rollercoaster. The rollercoaster derails at the apex of the loop, and they fall to their deaths. They wake up in purgatory, in a game ran by Karnak, who actually has the ability to predict people's deaths. He wants to give them another chance at life, and decides to have them each plead their case to him for who deserves that chance the most. Of course, what's a game without a twist? Karnak introduces a new character, dubbed Jane Doe, since no one was able to identify her headless body in the accident. She was supposedly another member of the choir, but no one knows for sure. The show is each of them pleading their case to Karnak and learning more about each other, until it is decided who gets another chance.

In the original post being discussed here, the cast was as follows: Junko Enoshima as The Amazing Karnak

Monokuma as Virgil the Rat (a rat buddy of Karnak's that will one day lead to their mutual destruction)

Nagito Komaeda as Noel Gruber

Leon Kuwata as Mischa Bachinski

Kaito Momota as Ricky Potts

Hajime Hinata/Izuru Kamukura as Jane Doe

Ruruka Ando as Ocean O'Connell Rosenburg

Chiaki Nanami as Constance Blackwood

No notes, none at all. This a perfect casting in my eyes. I think that, for the most part, all the characters fit.

Let's start with the easiest one, Monokuma as Virgil the Rat. It simply just makes sense in my monkey brain. Virgil is a rat that is slowly chewing through Karnak's power cords, and will one day bite down on a live wire, killing both of them. Karnak chooses to depict Virgil as a super cool bass player. I would KILL to see Monokuma absolutely wrecking it on bass, or really any sort of instrument. Someone needs to give Ibuki a fanmade execution, and it's just Monokuma absolutely SHREDDING an electric guitar, ala Guitar Hero. Next up, Junko as Karnak. Karnak is a lot kinder than Junko would be in this position. I feel like she would relish the despair of knowing when other people would die, including when she herself would die. In this AU, she'd probably set this little game up, not out of the want to give someone another chance at life, but in order to see the other's desperation. She'd still give that chance to whoever won, but I could totally see her just adding new rules to spite the contestants. It'd be like one big trial 6, where everyone else is having a crisis, and she's just being silly.

These two are a dynamic duo and would absolutely ruin everyone's days, lmao.

Next to be discussed, Nagito as Noel Gruber. One look at this guy, and if you're familiar with Noel, there's really no analysis needed. I can see it in my mind's eye, Nagito in his little Remnant get-up, doing the absolute MOST for Noel's Lament. He's a little diva, and we love him for that.

I know I teased it, and I swear this really isn't a spoiler, but Noel, given the title of 'the most romantic boy in town', is gay, a nihilist, and has fantasies of being a hooker named Monique Gibeau in post-war France. Like Noel, Nagito is very hung up on his particular ideals, to an near infamous degree. Nagito definitely goes further with his devotion to hope, but in all fairness, Noel also isn't a war criminal. In this AU, I could totally see Nagito absolutely just rolling with whatever is happening, no matter how absurd. He probably wouldn't even want to win the second chance at life, believing someone else is probably more deserving of it. He'd have fun with the whole situation, and be an absolute showstopper.

The more I rant about Nagito, the more I understand how much he needs some serious therapy, STAT.

Next up, Kaito as Ricky Potts. Ricky is disabled, having been mute while alive, and used crutches to help him walk. Despite this, he's 'the most imaginative boy in town', and he has a wonderful fascination with outer space, as described in 'Space Age Bachelor Man'. Yep, that song is only about space, nothing else, please believe me, I'm totally not lying to you.

Obviously, Kaito is all about space. I've also seen people equate Kaito's illness when comparing him to Ricky, but I will not comment further, as I do not feel like I have the knowledge to accurately do so. Jumping more to character, Kaito is a very encouraging and friendly presence in v3. He takes Shuichi under his wing, being his close friend and helping him get better and more confident. Ricky does something similar with Jane, not treating her as a monster like the others, and seeming to really try and understand her as a peer. Ricky is a very selfless character (for reasons I will not spoil) and so is Kaito. Kaito participated in Kokichi's plan in chapter 5, without the intent to survive for himself, but in order to help the others. He got the last laugh in death, passing away from his illness and not Monokuma's execution, and effectively setting off a chain of events that led to the end of v3's game. In this AU, I don't see there being many changes, just maybe more confidence and brashness like Kaito.

Leon as Mischa is a really fun choice. Mischa, a Soundcloud rapper, and known as 'the angriest boy in town', is a very fun fit for Leon. Admittedly, I'm not the biggest Leon expert, but I really liked him in THH, and I think his voice actor did a phenomenal job the entire time he was on my screen. The only acceptable ginger /j

Leon has aspirations of being a musician, and so does Mischa. Leon admits in a free-time event that he's pursuing that pathway to get more girls, and Mischa is a self-described 'passionate lover'. However, like Mischa, I think Leon has a genuine desire to pursue music, as School Mode suggests that he sees baseball as a launching point for his music career.

The songs he'd get would be 'This Song Is Awesome', and 'Talia', which could be about whatever Leon ship you want. For my purposes, I will assume it's Sayaka, since I don't really ship him with anyone. Leon can be both aggressive and passionate, as well as friendly. Both characters can also be seen as stereotypically aggressive, but underneath those more intimidating surfaces, they're really nice people. Mischa is supportive of the other contestants, and makes the effort to make everyone feel included and happy. In this AU, Leon would still fight for that second chance, but I could also see some chivalry in how he handles himself.

When Leon died in the anime, I was near tears, give that voice actor an Oscar. No matter your opinion on Danganronpa, you must admit that the voice actors bring their A-game.

I think pulling Ruruka from the anime as Ocean is an INSPIRED choice. I'll be honest, first time around, I did not like Ruruka. She reminded me of every self-centered, fake person I've ever come into contact with. Second time around however, I found myself really seeing her, and understanding her mindset. Yes, she's still a bad friend, certified, but everything leading up to her death later-on in the anime really made her impactful. I know that I have felt similar sentiments regarding the friends I've made, and I do see where she's coming from in certain areas.

Same with Ocean, as much as Ocean is self-centered, she's also just a kid. A kid who died only a few hours ago, and is being faced with the chance to get a second chance to do all that she wanted to do. She's only seventeen, and didn't even leave her hometown, it's sad and I can see how potent her desperation is. Granted, she doesn't go about it in the best way, Social Darwinism is not a take I can get behind. Ocean's desperation is reminiscent of late-anime Ruruka, willing to betray the people closest to her in order to ensure her own safety. Like Ruruka in earlier episodes, such as ones where she's shown as a little girl, you can see how kind she sees herself as. I think her and Seiko's relationship was one that could've thrived and been great, if Ruruka respected boundaries. Ocean eventually starts to get better through the show, apologizing genuinely to her friends, and even towards Jane, who she'd been very wary of.

I wish we could've seen more of Ruruka, I think she has the seeds of a very nuanced character within her, and it's just underutilized. Though, I doubt she's 'What The World Needs'.

Uh oh, it's big rant time. I haven't talked about Chiaki during Dangantober yet, but Chiaki is my friend's favorite character, so of course I know a lot about her. I also really like Constance, she's my second favorite, after Jane. Constance, called 'the nicest girl in town', is a girl who had grown bored of life. She had no aspirations to go anywhere beyond Uranium, but also didn't want to stay in her hometown. Over the course of the story, she gains an appreciation for the little things in life, like pizza nights, holidays, hanging out with her family, and most notably, how pretty the sky looked when she was falling to her death.

Chiaki, mainly talking about her when she's alive, not an AI, is definitely one of the kinder characters in Danganronpa. She's the only one who seems to take an interest in hanging out with Hajime, who's merely a reserve course student in the anime. Despite his lack of an ultimate, she still looks forward to hanging out with him at the school fountain, and playing video games. As an AI, Chiaki grows to have an appreciation for all the things in life, and grows to love the people around her. Imagine being the Chiaki AI, knowing what these people have done, and yet still caring for them.

Constance, despite being mistreated by her best friend Ocean, can't really bring herself to hate Ocean. She eventually tells her off in the show, but she never cuts anything off. Constance grew to appreciate life, which harkens back to the most heartbreaking Chiaki moment for me.

''All I wanted, was to play video games with you, one last time..."

Curse you Kodaka, for making me hear that at 2AM on a Thursday night.

Constance's song is what makes me the closest to crying, that and the ending. Sugar Cloud is a celebration of her realization of the beauty of life, and how she now appreciates what she had and got to experience. I could talk about Chiaki all day, let's be real here.

I can hear you all already. "WE GET IT MOD TSUMUGI, YOU LIKE HAJIME!" Yeah well, he's my favorite, and so is Jane Doe. Told you guys he'd get talked about over and over again.

Anyways, Hajime is a very good fit for Jane. I'll try not to spoil, but it may be difficult from here on out, so proceed with caution. First of all, it's heavily implied that Jane was part of the choir, yet no one remembered her. This is like Hajime being a reserve course student, he's at Hope's Peak with everyone else, but he's more on the outside looking in. Very few people actually take note of him. He wants a talent so badly that he undergoes the Kamukura Project, and effectively, Hajime is erased to make way for Izuru. Like Jane, that original identity is forgotten, for this new one that people regard as a bit more intimidating, despite not inherently being so.

I'm referring to this one comic where Izuru is just a helpful guy who just so happens to be helping the wrong side in the canon timeline of events.

This is an image from an official, I believe non-canon or semi-canon comic.

Jane wants to know who she was originally, mourning the fact that she will never know in "The Ballad of Jane Doe" (which actually isn't a ballad, it's a lament, and Noel's Lament is actually a ballad). Over the course of the show, everyone begins to warm up to her, as much as they can when she's got a headless doll in her arms and the doll's head perched on her neck but hey.

This initially looks like a surface level choice, they both entirely lose themselves and they're the only ones in common like that. But both Izuru and Jane can be considered shells of people, as the very things that made them who they were originally, are just gone, with no real way of retrieving them.

As much as you can claim Hajime comes back to himself at the end of SDR2, technically, he's merely an amalgamation of what could be recovered and remembered about him. The original Hajime is truly gone, and what's left are the bits and pieces that could be found. Jane and Hajime, through circumstances largely not in their plan, had everything taken from them.

They both make my heart sad, and yet, I love both Jane and Hajime/Izuru. There's literally so much that could be said, but my fingers are going NUMB so better wrap this up. Please send asks if you want more elaboration.

THIS IS A SPOILER --->: Also they both have their stories end similarly too, with Jane getting a second chance at life, and Hajime/Izuru getting to sort of meld together, both become people again.

------------------------------------------------------------------

When I first watched RTC by myself on a Saturday night instead of being out with friends, I didn't expect it to really be worth my time. I had heard a lot of the songs already from TikTok, so I believed the show was pure, unadulterated nonsense. I was very wrong, and the show made me laugh, cry, and stare at my wall with existential dread. I definitely recommend it for those of you out there who haven't seen or listened to RTC. You may THINK you know what to expect, but trust me, it's a rollercoaster of emotions. Teehee, I made a pun. Anyways, here is my ranking of the songs in RTC, that literally no one asked for <3

[silviakundera]

Best drama love stories? Two characters who will move heaven and earth for each other? Who convince you true love exists by just how much they adore one another?

So I've been thinking about this anon. An upon consideration, the questions you asked are very different things to me!

The drama love stories which truly convince me that maybe true love does exist by just how much they adore one another, by how much I can understand & feel the mutual bond between them... are not necessarily the characters in dramas who I see "moving heaven & earth" for each other.

Why? I guess because in my mind, it's 1 thing to go to extremes when your back is up against the wall and everything is falling apart - because when adrenaline is flowing and heroics are called for, yes it's very dramatic and exciting to jump off that cliff together. Humans get very hyped up and extra like that. But that doesn't necessarily make me think of true love. To me, true love isn't a dramatic act of sacrifice that a stressed & despairing person is driven to, through circumstances beyond their control. It's not the story of the worst months of a person's life and the person they are desperately clinging to as external factors torment them. True love is a connection, tactic understanding, a partnership. It's living for someone and every moment feeling better & brighter because that person experiences it with you; experiencing beautiful moments with someone when living your lives as a pair. A person who makes ordinary life into something extraordinary.

Don't get me wrong: I love dramatics and big hero moments and badass rescues and also my red flag romantic lead!. All of that are some of my fav dramas. But they don't often give me that feeling of wow, I believe in love again, fuck I'm too single right now. and then I'm back on the dating apps.

So I'm going zero in here on some couples who gave me that rush. Ships who have a lot of messy, harsh conflict, or are too surreal for me to personally relate to (like being in love with a god) won't be included.

This is very very subjective and personal! Only what gave that feeling to ME, silvia.

You Are My Glory - devastating relationship propaganda. Watching this drama for the first time really did make me sign up for a dating app again lmao. The last 10 episodes are established relationship comfort couple goodness.

Bad Buddy - Pat and Pran are my gold standard for friends & lovers. By the end of the drama I truly believed nothing could come between them and they would never want to live without each other.

Fake It Til You Make It - a squee-inducing relationship between adult professionals that feels real and obtainable. This is the relationship I want for me & the drama makes it seem not completely out of reach.

A Tale of Thousand Stars - Hallmark channel romance done right. A classic romance novel on screen that just hits all the tropes, with great pining. I know in this one they don't truly hook up until the end, but then we got the 2 episode My Skyy mini-series of established relationship epilogue. also: HE GAVE UP INDOOR BATHROOMS AND THE INTERNET. If that's not true love, what is?

The Princess Royal/The Grand Princess - I'm cheating here because it's truly the novel version of this couple that are epic and unforgettable for me. The drama is good but couldn't capture the rich depth of the otp, in their second time around. But the novel version omgggggg inspiring, someone please marry and divorce and remarry me NOW.

A Journey to Love - a drama that earned it in every way; we see them falling in love and we see their devotion. The way they loved each other exactly how they NEEDED to be loved. I felt that.

Parallel World aka West out of Yu Men - it's easy to make a split second decision to die for someone, it's harder to live for someone and even harder to give up well laid plans & forgive the unforgivable. When all the secrets come out and it doesn't end them... that's when I knew this couple was epic to me. idk but I just felt the connection between them and felt the drama earned my belief that nothing could turn them against each other.

Hidden Love: like sliding into a warm bath. 💕💕💕💕💕 I absolutely believed in their love, in every way.

Story of Minglan: They took a very long time to get there but oh when they do! Beautiful mutual support and a loving relationship of respect and partnership that would have been rare in that time period/setting.

The Spirealm - Reality is whenever you are. Enough said. (Yes, this is a strange one. But I stand by my choice, this censored danmei adaption was ultimately very romantic to me. 😭)

The Rebel Princess/Monarch Industry - There's a certain warmth and passion between them that stands out for me in the sea of other costume dramas.

Just misses the cut:

The Untamed - almost on the list, but disqualified by Lan Wangji leaving the love of his life to go be a politician at the end wtf ??????? sorry not sorry but that it stains the epicness of the romance for me

[spotsandsocks]

✨Inspiration Saturday ✨

Tagged by @hippolotamus

I’m starting to work on my autumn angst fic- had these images in my head when I was driving around plotting pain and despair

Have a little snippet too I shared earlier I a fic ask

It’s hard to work out what’s happened, or is happening. Eddie blinks water out of his eyes and thinks that whatever’s left him wet and confused is still in motion. It’s hard to think for a moment then the past and present colíde and hit his future with cold dread.

Buck, he was with Buck. Where is he? Moving himself as fast as he can he sits up, there a splash as his hand hit the water pooling around him, another splash as he stumbles to his feet, head pounding at the change of position but nothing else alarming except for the fact he can’t see Buck. Has no idea where he is.

Eddie presses his radio and gets an ominous crackle.

😊

And a little tease for something else I’m planning and quite excited about

Tagging the @rogerzsteven @shortsighted-owl @monsterrae1 @heartshapedvows @loserdiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @thekristen999 @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @the-likesofus @buddierights @cowboy-buddie @alyxmastershipper @elvensorceress @bekkachaos @fiona-fififi @giddyupbuck @housewifebuck @honestlydarkprincess @thewolvesof1998 @wikiangela @wildlife4life and anyone else I may have forgotten - 😞

[kotoryba]

It was very interesting year for me as writer:

7 works published on AO3 (14 - because there are UA/ENG versions), 125k of words

3k hits and 133 kudos, bookmarks - wow, someone read my fics and found them edible! Great sincere thanks to all of you, dear readers, you assure me that I'm not a lonely voice in void!☺️

I also found the 4 beautiful muses for my inspiration here (from first to newest):

@kimbapchan , your reverse-AU TGCF comics are incredible! I don't know how it inspired me to the fic with so much angst, good that with with happy ending 🤔😏, but I'm very proud of this work❤️. By the way, the background story of your reverse-AU Shi Qingxuan are so mysterious...😜

@allpiesforourown , I hope that my story about Shen Qinque as fanatical bestiologist was tuned with your expectations 😜. I like to read your writer prompts, there are so many good ideas❤️.

@zukini-01 , the side story idea of the hanahaki curse in TGCF (especially for these two idiots-in-rivals-and-love) was written so easy as it could be canon, really.

@batbusiness-schooldropout : beware this buddy, who inspired me to write my first E-rating MDZS smutt (idk, how I made it, it was hard asf) - and the first comic (about another but also crazy idea) in the same time! Don't read TGCF in the next year, please: I must finish one of my WIPs first 😜❤️

Special ❤️ for @includedisco - your words keep me above the abyss of writer despair sometimes

Thank your all❤️! See you in the next year!

[jeeyuns]

Hello! I’m really excited about your parallel universes WIP and need to watch everything everywhere. It’s been on my list for over a year. I was just wondering if you have fic recs for a related topic: time travel and time loops? For Buddie. Thank you. x

omg thank youuuu parallel universes are my JAM. i hate that i even put up that poll. now everyone chose laundry and taxes and i have to commit to writing this epic alongside bethlehem arghughg hghg ghhh. yes pleaseeee watch eeaao. i'm gonna try to make it make sense without having watched it but it's SUCH a good movie. watch it when you can and in the mood for a mind fuck

i LOVEEEE time loops and time travel! for buddie? ohhhh i GOT you:

burn the straw house down by @hoediaz

(buck gets stuck in time, has a break down and then, relatedly, a break through)

this might have been the second one i read ever with a time loop theme in the 911 fandom and oh boyyyy the emotions! you feel like you're going THROUGH it with buck, you're right there with him. and the breathless payoff at the end. YUMMM. love love LOVEEEE the reason given on how to break the time loop

Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by @cal-daisies-and-briars

(After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken.)

soooo i also have to sneak in another parallel universes rec because this one is GOLD. it's more along the lines of Marvel's Dr. Strange and the book 'The Midnight Library by Matt Haig.' and it was just STUNNING. buck pov with moments ranging from confusion to bittersweet happiness to utter despair. the ending was mwah, mwah, chef's KISS. ughhh i love cal. wish they had a tumblr. i'll just scream in their ao3 comments it's ok. i'm ok i'm ok (THEY NOW HAVE A TUMBLR LET'S GOOOOOOO)

tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by @anxieteandbiscuits

(eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia)

sami is a MASTER at making you scream into your pillow at these two lovable idiots. and boyyyy did i want to just smash their faces together and make them work it out (sorry natalia babe) loosely inspired by the 'Palm Springs' time loop movie. it was just sooooo you HAVE TO have a box of tissues with you. she will eviscerate your heart with her words and MAKE you feel what eddie is going through UGHHHHHH

Benign Fatality by @ardenetoile

(Buck repeats days until he doesn't die in them, has an underdeveloped sense of self worth, and Eddie is the one who wants to step in with him.)

what a fantastic take on time loops! buck only repeats days when he's died. so there could be strings of days/weeks/months where he lives life like normal. and eddie gets brought into it at some point, or more like he shoulders his way in because it's EDDIE and he cares. ending was amazing too, author made it truly make sense! i am so intrigued about the background on buck's ability!

Being Eddie by @cal-daisies-and-briars

(When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him.)

so this is my one time travel rec in this fandom. eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the show 'Being Erica' and BOYYYYY does he. it's currently a WIP and i'm about to read ch16 of 20. Cal is fabulous with making you feel for every aspect of a character. they moved from the prior story of buck pov to this eddie pov with flawless precision and godddd i don't know what it is about their words. they are IMPACTFUL. i read a chapter and have to lean back and think through my feelings, like I'M getting therapized. what the fuck??????????????

the persistence of memory by @anxieteandbiscuits

(Buck gets shot, Eddie has to keep reliving the day until he can figure out what the universe is trying to tell him)

last but DEFINITELY not least is this one, my love. if i can imprint this on my heart, blood and papercuts and ripped out ribs and all, i WOULD. i will never have enough time or breath to speak on this fic. it was one of the first 3 fics i read in this fandom. and FUCKKKK did sami pull me in. i think i wasn't even caught up with the show but it DOESN'T matter. she set it after s4 and eddie goes throughhhh it on time loops. the beautiful prose, the sweeping emotions from eddie to buck. the 118 firefam ensemble comedy. the LOVE CONFESSIONS???? multiple????? each one made me teary and one made me outright cry. they were all different and they were all perfect on every iteration of the worst day of eddie's life. i sometimes turn over my pillow at 3 am and get a visceral flash of buck's shocked and bloody face when REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED and have to take a deep breath and rub my chest because sami did it AGAIN and my brain just likes me to remember these moments i've read and scanned into my brain apparently to play on loop

ANYWAY i got really excited. happy reading anon! thank you for letting me rant about the top 6 fics with these themes off the top of my head. <333

[sigmaelxgr]

Ive never introduced them to you didnt I? Heres what they look like on the ESO european serv:

Here is Sigma-El, also called by Xangr himself "the Child", or "Sun", or "Beloved", "My Dearest", "Gold of my eyes"... He's their primordial aspect, the One that came first, The Truth behind the masks. Sigma-El is made multiple, and some of his aspects have been given or gave themselves names to give meaning to their own existence. Sigma-El sleeps, most of the time, tenderly protected by Sangre/Xangr, that cherishes him like a sweet mother. Sigma-El being the First means their first name of all was Sigma-El, and some dunmers still call them this way. When asked, Xangr tells that Sigma-El means "Fallen from the Sky". Sigma-El is the sweetest being on Nirn, immaculate by nature - his soul splitted in half at a young age to protect him from tragical events. The second aspect is Xangr.

Xangr is the one you'll encounter the most. Very androgyneous in his demeanor, extremely meticulous with his appareance and almost always seeming of an other-wordly beauty and serenity, Xangr is a ferocious mother, protecting the Child in them with both tenderness and cruelty. He's made wise by years of suffering and questionning about his nature, his purpose, his role, he saw glimpses of Oblivion through despair and rage of having no satisfying answer, and grew back to care only about themselves as the lesson he ultimately learned from hideous past and mistakes. Xangr is extremely self-centered, and is an exceptionnaly gifted sorcerer. He may look lonely, but his focusing on Sigma-El, on "Us Both" makes him capable to endure it. It's him, his part of their soul that splitted to concieve Molkhun Dahkem, the Third aspect.

Here comes Molkhun Dahkem. Molkhun is their most recent aspect, born the 20th of Evening-Star, three years ago, on the Chil'a - and Molag Bal's day of invocation. Molkhun has a complicated birth; he's what remains of the part Xangr left behind him when he fleed the Worm Cult, just before the Planemeld stopped. At this time, Xangr used to be so implicated in the Cult, fascinated by the figure of Mannimarco (that defied all things he bitterly learned about Divines and Ancesters, that gave him answers and FINALLY an inspiration, a reason to live, someone he could aspire to be). When Mannimarco betrayed Molag Bal, the Lord of Domination, Xangr was already a talented conjurator - he understood Bal's calls and heard His Voice through every ritual he led... The idea that the Worm King betrayed the Prince hitted him so hard, it's like he reclaimed lucidity a few seconds of clarity. Sigma-El awoke, took Xangr by the hand, and broke his shell that was anchored into the ground like nothing could remove him from the Cult. The broken shell, later, would grow in the shadows to become Molkhun Dahkem.

(note: Molkhun and Sangre share the same name. Molkhun means "blood" in dunmeri and Sangre is the name of a pigment used to simulate blood painting. Dahkem means "ink", inspiring a deep deep black.)

(note 2: the nix-oax's name is Red Curry, and it's Sigma-El's favorite buddy)

[pyropsychiccollector]

A post from a buddy of mine recently got me inspired to do this, myself... But surprisingly not for Makoto. Don't get me wrong, Makoto's a great guy... But I feel like I haven't talked a lot about some of my other ships, they're just kind of... there.

I'm gonna take it easy, though. Don't wanna burn myself out writing these. However, for all you rareshippers out there, I felt it's long overdue to write an "analysis" for at least some of your diamonds in the rough. Tonight, I figured... why not start with Hajime? Let's dust off one of his ships and take a look at it. I'll leave Hinanami alone for now, 'cause that's a pretty well-covered one.

... So let's touch on the other girl that had a presence at the beginning of Hajime's journey in Danganronpa. Let's examine...

Hinazuryu (or Hinatsumi, to distinguish from the... yaoi variant)

Natsumi's often one of those girls that are brushed off by the fans for... reasons. Mainly the fact she died pre-game in Goodbye Despair, and was only there for an episode in Despair Arc. But aside from the brevity of her existence, how canon just speed-runs through the details involving her, in the short time we meet her in the anime, Natsumi is... uppity. Prickly. Whatever word you want to use. Natsumi's not a "people" person, she's picky about who she interacts with. She came to Hope's Peak for one reason, and one reason only: Because her brother's there. And she's a girl seemingly willing to do anything to achieve her goals. Because she's a daughter of the Head of the most notorious yakuza clan in the modern era of Japan, the Kuzuryu's.

Natsumi's not like most people in the Reserve Course. ... I mean, you kinda get that from the way she and Hajime aren't "blue people" from their perspective, but it goes a bit farther down the rabbit hole than aesthetics. People usually join the Reserve Course to get that "prestige" of, "Look at me! I attended the best school in the world, and I wasn't an Ultimate!" Even Hajime gravitated to the Reserve Course because he admired Hope's Peak so much, and hoped that by studying here he'd find the resolve to... be someone. To take pride in himself.

Natsumi already has that pride going for her. For better or for worse, she thinks her criminal family is cool. Powerful. They're so well known that even the general public knows they're crooks, yet the police can't or won't touch them - probably because lack of evidence, bribery, and/or blackmail. Naturally, this means Natsumi's not an angel, she was "born" to be bad, and she hasn't had a reason for reflecting on this because she's still a teenager, a child.

... But Natsumi's not completely happy. Sure, she knows who she is. Knows where she fits in life. But like anyone else, she yearns for something, for someone - in this case, it's her brother. It's not enough to be attending the same school. Because Hope's Peak is the best in the world, and her brother was accepted as an Ultimate, one of the people destined to guide society... at least that's how the academy and the rest of the world look at it. So it's like, Natsumi's here, but she's not here... All she's done is navigate a the huddled masses of society to the front of the line... but now there's a cordoned off area, like when you see celebrities attending a movie premier. She's at the front of the crowd, but Fuyuhiko's canoodiling with the rest of the celebrities. She wants to be out there with him... But she can't yet. Because before anything, Hope's Peak needs to recognize her as an Ultimate like her Big Bro.

And this is where Hajime enters the picture. Natsumi gets to the front of the line, and she meets this other guy that's frustrated to be here like her. Hajime wants to be at Hope's Peak, but above all he wants to find pride in himself. To have a talent, to be good at something. So even if Hajime doesn't completely "get" Natsumi, he at least empathizes with wishing to get into the Main Course. Hajime is a bit intimidated by Natsumi being with the yakuza, but at the same time he's going along with society's grand delusions and thinks that Natsumi's as much a "nobody" like the rest of them because she's not an Ultimate. He does think Natsumi's too high and mighty for a Reserve student, and it doesn't help when Mahiru comes to deliver lunch for Sato, because Natsumi takes that as her cue to start something... because she and Mahiru have history. Natsumi's got some burning jealousy and envy going on, calling the photographer a goody two shoes and threatening her because the way Natsumi sees it, if there's an open slot, then she can squeeze into the Main Course. Be with her brother.

....... It doesn't go that way. Of course it doesn't go that way... Natsumi riles up Sato twice, and it takes Hajime (and Mahiru, the first time) to keep things from getting violent because Natsumi's threatening the photographer. It's not a shining moment for Natsumi, it's not meant to be. She's too goal-driven. Her yakuza blood is seeping through. I've talked with Vergilsama92 a few times about the romanticization of yakuza in Japan, it is a thing to pain yakuza in honorable, tragic lights... But honestly, yakuza are still criminals at the end of the day. and this right here is a good example of the daughter of a kumicho being too cutthroat, too willing to do anything to achieve her goals. Hajime defends her not out of some servitude to the mob, but because as someone that idolizes Hope's Peak, who thinks he and Natsumi resonate as far as that goes... he doesn't want her to get in trouble or lose her chance by doing something stupid. Hajime barely knows this girl. ... And he still empathizes with her.

Unfortunately for Hajime, it's not as simple as Natsumi caring about the academy. About having a talent. Perhaps Natsumi does want pride, to some extent, but it's as she explains it to Hajime: she feels left behind if Fuyuhiko just goes on as the Ultimate Yakuza and she's nothing. Hajime absolutely understands where Natsumi's coming from... 'cause he feels that same "gap" between him and Chiaki, or any Main Course student/staff for that matter. Hajime tries using Chiaki's words of wisdom to cheer Natsumi up, that she doesn't need to have a talent or be an elite. ... But unfortunately, it backfires a little bit - because Hajime's grasping around in the dark for a light switch just like Natsumi is. Chiaki's advice is good... But you need something to fill the void of talent, and Hajime can only assume for Natsumi that would be her relationship with her Big Bro, tries to console her with the fact Fuyuhiko's happy to be with her regardless of title... But Natsumi's just too bitter, frustrated, and depressed. She idolizes Fuyuhiko just like Hajime idolizes Hope's Peak... and she believes her Bro should only have the very best people around him. She wants Fuyuhiko to be proud of her, not looking down from above, to stand by his side.

... And man, poor Hajime just has no idea what to say. Because he gets her. That's the whole reason he's reaching out to a relative stranger in the first place. And here's the ironic beauty of this scene: it's okay that Hajime doesn't know the answers yet. Some people might say, "Makoto would've known what to say, Chiaki would've known, Chisa would've known..." And to that, I say that's not necessarily true. Conundrums like this take time to sort through, and the fact that Makoto, Chiaki, and Chisa are all Ultimates, it would've made it challenging to interact with Natsumi at first - not because they're so arrogant, but because Natsumi would see them as, rightfully or not, people that are superior to her. Natsumi wouldn't be so quick to open up to a bunch of random Ultimates, not at this stage. She's too bitter and hurt.

In this instance, I really would argue that Hajime was the "best" person to connect with Natsumi in the beginning. They're not completely the same; Hajime just wants pride in himself, and Natsumi wants to feel equal to her Bro. Hajime doesn't have the answers yet, they both need to remove their idols from their unreachable pedestals, but with some more time it's possible that he and Natsumi could have settled into this mutual search of "something else". I'll reiterate: It's okay to not know what to say. I read an article recently that talks about how as a society we need to have a ready, immediate answer to every little thing, every eventuality... And that's just not true. You don't need to know how to make yourself presentable, to sell yourself... You just need to be yourself. It's one of the hardest things, I know. XD Employers want this and that, demand you to do this and that, but sometimes you just have to take a step back, to divorce your private life from your job. Just "be you." Not what somebody else tells you to be.

I suppose that's the crux, the tragedy of Hajime and Natsumi here. They're teenagers doing what teenagers do best: Trying to find themselves. Hajime wants to be good at something, Natsumi wants to be her brother's equal. Unfortunately, however, that puts them at the mercy of Hope's Peak's agenda, because all those lies they feed the public? If Hajime and Natsumi want to get their wishes, they'll have to become Ultimates. That's the only surefire way to get anywhere in life, that's the magic spell Hope's Peak has weaved over the general populace. But Reserve Course have no hopes of transferring into the Main Course - they're cash cows. And if on the very rare chance they develop a talent, then they go from being a cash cow to a guinea pig, an animal in a cage purely for observation to funnel all that research into the Kamukura Project. And Hajime's in the most dangerous position of all, being the first potential guinea pig for that Project. The academy's offering Hajime a carrot, and he's really tempted to reach out and take it... But he met Chiaki. Met her teacher. Met Mister Tengan. And now he's met Natsumi... And Hajime's just so lost on what he should do. He only has so much time to make a decision, and it's going to change his life no matter what. He'll either go for the carrot, and lose himself in the process; or he'll be cast out because his family isn't rich enough to keep sending him to school there.

Hajime feels this tug between two ideals - Chiaki's and Natsumi's. He wants to believe in Chiaki, that there's another way... but he jives with Natsumi so much that it hurts.

And then the unthinkable happens: Even though Hajime just met her, Natsumi dies. Sure, the audience could see that Sato was deeply disturbed, that she had her own obsession in Mahiru... And Natsumi threatening the photographer sent Sato over the edge. However, the characters don't have this omniscient understanding of people; Natsumi dies within days of being accepted to Hope's Peak's Reserve department. You might not think that this would impact Hajime so much... but it does. Much like how Darth Maul killing Qui-Gon helped decide Anakin's fate in Star Wars, the same kind of tragedy happens here: Hajime had someone that resonated with him. He had someone that bounced a dialogue off with him to help figure some things out... And now that person's gone.

Say what you will about Natsumi being a terrible role model or a terrible human being because she was a yakuza, but from what we can deduce from her death is that she is a victim in this case. Not a blameless one, but nothing suggests that she truly planned to off Mahiru, unless you take Sato at her word. We're left with this impression that Sato jumped the gun, and now Hope's Peak is in a pinch because of the upcoming exams - so they sweep the murder under the rug because the academy's good name comes first above all else.

Hajime plunges on ahead, oblivious to the politics involved. Because... he needs to find out the truth of Natsumi's death. Even if he barely knew her, he needs to know who killed her, and why... To give himself closure as much as Natsumi. Hajime's still so lost and reeling...

... And he can't catch a break. He overhears Sato and Mahiru talking in the courtyard, and is on the right track with suspecting Sato of the crime... But Sato refuses to talk to him. Leaving Hajime with only one option: Talk to Mahiru. Which... obviously doesn't happen. Because Hope's Peak doesn't let Reserves onto the Main Campus... And Juzo goes rough on him because he's trying to protect Hajime in his own arrogant, misguided way. Because Juzo knows the Steering Committee would bury the kid if he made too much noise about this murder.

It's the last straw for Hajime, however... He's hurt, he's broken... and Chiaki's "hope" rings hollow for him, because he doesn't see how a nobody like him can live in this world where the elite bury the nobodies like they don't even matter, a world where he's so powerless. He still admires and loves Chiaki a lot - but he can't live on like this. and he winds up choosing to take the carrot that Hope's Peak is giving him.

I come to the end of this long-ass summary of canon... to say that this only plays a very small part of my love for Hinatsumi. It's a small, yet meaningful part. Because like how Chiaki's death "snapped" him back to Hajime, it was Natsumi's death that was the trigger to the chain of events that cornered Hajime. Hajime barely knew this girl... and yet she had such a profound effect on his life because they were like reflections in a mirror. Honestly, Hinatsumi has some parallels to Naezono for me, 'cause Sayaka didn't get to live long, either... XD Admittedly, however, Natsumi is not a lovesick puppy for Hajime like Sayaka is for Makoto. ... Not. Even. Close.

Honestly, if Natsumi's death could have been averted, that would just be the starting point to a world of new possibilities. Let's start with the fact that Natsumi opened up to Hajime about her brother in the first place. This is a guy she just met, she's been looking down her nose at all these other "scrubs" that are their classmates... and here's this guy that, as wishy-washy as he can be, has shown that he has some spine. And sure, he whines and quibbles over how they're gonna get accepted into the Main Course, but he wants to get there. He could use some more time stewing in the pot or whatever, but Hajime's not completely hopeless. At least he tries to talk back to her, talk like they're equals; everyone else is so relaxed about being in the Hope's Peak... even though they're frankly not. Whether or not Natsumi realizes this yet, Hajime's someone that she respects on some level. Enough to tell him about her brother and how he deserves only the very best. And hey, maybe it's something that she's been meaning to get off her chest, and she hasn't found anyone to listen to her up until now...

At least it's a start. I imagine if Sato's attempted murder had failed for whatever reason, there'd still be this tension between Natsumi, Sato, and Mahiru; and Fuyuhiko and Peko would probably be dragged into it. But that obvious point aside, as the deadline for Hajime's decision draws closer, Natsumi would most likely press him about what's eating away at him, why he's so hung up on getting into that main campus...

And I think Hajime might just open up to her about his decision, in some capacity. Whether he tells her about the Project, or whether he keeps to the confidentiality agreement, he would still convey that his tuition's running out... And there's something he needs to decide on, if he's gonna stay here or not. Even if he keeps mum about the Project, Natsumi would probably understand it's something clandestine, something a bit too intense for Hajime's current level. ... And she'd probably tell him to just not have anything to do with it. Natsumi has seen shady shit, and it's not stuff that she'd wish on Hajime. If it was money troubles he was having, he should have just told her; I can see that as an attitude Natsumi would have. In a situation where Natsumi is saved from dying by Hajime (and yes, there's a few fanfics out there to that effect), her family would feel this sort of indebtedness to him, and would likely offer a deal for tuition money. But in worlds where the attempted murder is thwarted through other means, and Hajime doesn't have that reckless savior status going for him, I can see Natsumi talking with her brother or her dad to get a "job" lined up for Hajime, whether as a lookout or train him up as a bodyguard, whatever they feel Hajime needs to do to earn that tuition money, and they'd go from there.

Of course... I don't see Hajime all too thrilled to be making a deal with a yakuza group, but the alternative is losing his place at Hope's Peak altogether or accepting their Project when he's still so uncertain. In the spirit of "open-mindedness", I think Hajime would take a shot with working with the Kuzuryu's if he's primarily working with Natsumi or her brother that he hasn't met yet. The reason for that is that he knows Natsumi (... well, a little) and she seems sincere enough that her brother has scruples, too. Maybe he can have an effect on them or their family; and if not that, well, being trained in some capacity isn't a bad thing. Few others seem so willing to give Hajime a chance, and the ones that are honestly have their lives more together than Hajime does.... XD It's just speculation, but based on how he interacts with Natsumi and Fuyuhiko, I think he'd take a shot with them. ... Even if the carrot Hope's Peak is offering is so tantalizing. XDDD

Whatever path Hajime takes, whether it's leaving Hope's Peak or working with the Kuzuryu's... I think Natsumi would stay in touch, at least. Maybe if their friendship deepens, she'd transfer to his school eventually, if he decided to leave. It's just a hunch more than anything, but they wouldn't break off their tentative friendship, regardless of what Hajime does. Without a murder, Hope's Peak is less antsy, and that gives Hajime a much more "friendly" environment to avoid rushing into deciding to do the Kamukura Project. If he stays, chances are he'll meet Mahiru properly, meet Fuyuhiko and Peko, and possibly all of Chiaki's classmates... But as cozy with Chiaki as he is, I have a feeling Natsumi would get territorial before long. Seeing the goofballs that is Fuyuhiko's classmates, Natsumi might even lose a bit of confidence that going to the Main Course is what she wants... Hajime's a lot easier to handle, and some of them would just piss her off.... (人◕ω◕) She probably wouldn't give up going to the Main Course right away, and neither would Hajime, but more time to think about things would chill both of them out.

To properly end this off, I'll get into the more "shippy" reasons for why these two work. And yes, it's not because they're both Reserve Course... though that helps in chilling Natsumi out. That she's not being talked down to.

... *stares at height difference between Natsumi and Hajime* Just don't say anything, Pyro.... (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;;

Obviously, Hajime and Natsumi have different, even clashing personalities. This is great, because they balance each other out! They complement each other. Natsumi is short-tempered, foul-mouthed, bossy, stubborn, but she's got a backbone, and she'd help Hajime build up his. If Hajime works for the Kuzuryu's, it might be touch-and-go at first because Natsumi may be playful and screw around with having him do stuff for her or Fuyuhiko... But she'd also, sooner or later, pick up on his potential for talking to people. That is to say, Hajime might not have the answers to everything, but at least he tries and at least he listens. Natsumi might nudge him to "counselor"-esque positions, maybe at first (jokingly) suggesting to provide counsel to yakuza who want to leave or retire from the gang - Hajime would deadpan back that yakuza don't "retire" like most "professions." Maybe she wouldn't be completely hands-on with telling Hajime where to go, but if he eventually found something himself that he was relatively confident in, Natsumi would support him all the way.

Hajime, on the other hand, may be wishy-washy, uncertain, cautious, and down on himself a lot... But he does have scruples, he reflects, and he'd be down-to-earth which would offset Natsumi's fiery spirit. He might not be able to defuse "every" conflict Natsumi is a part of, but if they hang around each other enough, he'll help chill Natsumi out. In turn, she'll help give him a tenacity, a determination. Hajime would probably meet Fuyuhiko (and Peko) sooner rather than later, and boy would he be nervous. lol But he'd get to know Fuyuhiko a lot, and Fuyuhiko would see the balming effect Hajime has on Natsumi's obsessive drive to be his equal. And Fuyuhiko would approve the hell out of that. Anything to keep her from the stark raving madness that she embodied at the start of the school year.

Hajime and Natsumi would be a slow buildup for a romance... and that's honestly fine. Natsumi would see Hajime as a friend before anything else for a long time, and she'd have these other ideas for "boyfriend material"... And maybe she'd learn the hard way those types aren't what she's looking for. They'd sort of stumble into the romance, with Natsumi getting a bit jealous Hajime's so comfortable around Chiaki... give Hajime the cold shoulder if worse comes to worst, but then find out she misses his company, and tries to make it up to him. Hajime in turn gives Natsumi space when it seems like she needs it, and cares about her; though he'd probably flip a bit if he realized he was falling for a yakuza...

In an ideal world, perhaps Natsumi leaves the yakuza behind to raise a family with Hajime, someday. Like Fuyuhiko, she has scruples; and it's possible that Sato killing her is a sign that Natsumi isn't all hardcore and violent like she puts on. ... Maybe Sato just got lucky, we can't be sure. But I like to think if she keeps on developing, Natsumi will see the criminal underworld isn't all as glamorous as she thought it was, as a kid. Perhaps Hajime would see the conflict between morals and duty, and suggest they get out while they have the chance; Natsumi might not take it so well at first, but... Like Fuyuhiko, she might come to accept she can't "change" the family to the extent that she would want.... 'cause yakuza are criminals at the end of the day. They're not gonna be able to keep up an "honorable" facade forever.

That aside, in general, Hinatsumi is nice 'cause they're two wayward souls that balance each other out. They push and tug each other like the moon and the waves. Chances are, even if Hajime refuses the Project, the Tragedy's still gonna happen, just maybe not as we know it. But at least in this path, Hajime and Natsumi both have a chance to live and fight the good fight with Future Foundation. If the Tragedy never happens, well.... they'll still probably realize Hope's Peak isn't all it's cracked up to be. And they don't need to be Ultimates to live a satisfying life~

Hope you enjoyed my long-ass analysis/speculation on the Hinatsumi ship. Like I said, I wanna do this for some of my other favorite minor ships... Just to spread the love around. :3

[thetruekyle]

It's not an act, btw.. I really Am a Father. And I want so many more kids, but my life has been violently uprooted and tumultuously reformed in myriad ways over these last few years...

The Big Hit was when My Daughter was kidnapped in 2020 by a scornful and unforgiving, post-divorce ex-wife who has since leveraged every violence of the state to target, assault, & injure me to the point of reactivity- to then gaslight me- and point to my reaction while twisting facts against me, and actually claiming my cognitive fitness was endangering my child...

AND even my own family, -who are entirely wayward, unchristian heathens (& who take pride in their atheism so that they are essentially unwitting pawns of satan) banded together with my ex and all the STATE criminals to steal her from her rightful home and my dutiful care- which I had been doing as diligent steward, without ANY real issue since we (my daughter and I) were both abandoned by my ex back in 2015. . . Even as a single parent, I made it work so that my daughter was excelling at school and generally thriving. But that has all changed, and it has been heartbreaking at every turn...

-I have since labored and fought and protested and even began studying law for myself, and each time I came near to reclaiming my rightful custody under my own knowledge and power, or to saving enough money for a good lawyer who might do it for me- I would be blindsided by yet another legalistic curveball and/or direct spiritual attack on my being... but I have always survived, by the Grace of God.

When thus first happened, GOD didn't turn his face from me, and He found me in the depths of my despair to raise me up as something new with His righteous right hand. Even now I am becoming better than I ever was as my old self, and as His new creation -as I walk in His grace with discipline and obedience, -my days are become blessed beyond measure. And even though the weapons continue to be formed against me, I am still- and at peace, by resting in His promise that they shall never prosper ever again.

So many times I've had to start over these last few years as I even now- fight to rescue my daughter from the clutches of all this entrenched institutionalize`d'evil... with no chosen helper or loving partner at my side.

But I yet have hope, and with God, I have truly learned how to recognize and walk the straight-and-narrow path. With God I have been given a higher purpose than merely finding a battle buddy to take on the system. And so even now, finding the time to earn a good woman's eyes has been strained at best, and thus far- fruitless . . .

But then who truly 'finds' a good wife, for her value is far above that of pearls and rubies. So instead I have and keep faith that God has the perfect one for me. The best one, in fact, picked out and likewise waiting patiently on her end for a perfectly risen, and reborn me, chosen by God, to be hers.

And so I am patient, because it matters, and ever since giving my life to Christ I have found every success to feed my faith and hope. I Am still building a life that is meaningful, writing a story for me that is inspiring, and nurturing my own Holy Spirit of Truth that is absolutely founded on the rock that is my pure Love for our Lord GOD.

~And so- in earnest love for our Lord GOD;

FATHER I rest on [Your] promises, and keeping faith in [Your] Word -I pray [You] send my helper into my arms so very soon.

I really want her here.

But all things in [Your] perfect timing, Lord. For it is not my will, by Thy will be done. For it is not my dominion, but Thy Kingdom come. And so I thank [You] with all my heart, with all that I Am, and shall Ever Be, and with Gratitude All Ways, always, in Jesus' name, amen. 🙏😌

[erisenyo]

❤️ BB-Verse ❤️

I just want some nice Sokka+Azula Spite compilations ❤️

In "Every Door" Azula motivated and kinda inspired him and I thought Sokka and Zuko would have to be married for Sokka to properly work for the FN Government. Or would that work as long as he is officially Zukos Fiancé?

Please tell me we'll be getting some Toph|Azula or Sokka|Azula snippets. ESPECIALLY those cactus juice ones. That shit sounds hilarious

The Sokka-Azula post-figuring-their-shit-out dynamic is everything to me lol. They live to get one over each other. They gang up on Zuko at the drop of a hat. They exchange bitchy opinions on stuffy ministers in a glance. Their prank wars cause property damage. They have that buddy cop dynamic down. Zuko despairs of it and not so secretly loves it.

As for Sokka working in the FN Government -- it would probably depend on just how official that fiance thing is. There are a few steps/stages (in my head), going from the initial proposal and as marriage approaches, which increasingly formalizes the relationship. At some point that would open up the option to actually be a part of things.

The big factor of course being if Sokka wanted that kind of work, as he figures thingss out. He and Zuko would both be very conscious of not putting Sokka in a position where he was going to run into a conflict of interests, and Sokka post-To Open Every Door is definitely taking some him-time to feel out the work stuff and reflect on what he actually wants that to look like.

As for Azula shenanigan snippets, especially cactus juice based...no promises but honestly sounds perfect for the next time I'm doing prompts on tumblr. It certainly cracks me up lol

[cinderellaenjoyer]

DR2 AU Remnant Dashboard simulator

💜Rachies-Fave-Remnant follow

'Your fanfic is cringe' you are jealous that I'm the Queen of the Universe and a werewolf hybrid. Also Leo and Aria are killing you so.

🎭tragic-hope follow

I just wanna bite into Kiki's skin and never let go ever is that too much to ask?

🔁tragic-hope

The other remnants are sending me hate in the notes. Little they know the despair I feel from their hurtful comments will inspire hope in me to keep Kiki posting

🐰despair-bunny follow

Having (literally) talented friends is fun. They're out here making despair-inducing art and killing people in creative ways and then there's me. With my Normalcore Knife.

🗯 comicroom follow

Brain? Buddy? Pal? I know we miss our friends but the point of locking ourselves in our room is to drive ourselves insane and feel despair. You can't be doing this right now.

➕plusdespair99 follow

Taking a break from managing the group's finances to go kill people brb!

🔁plusdespair99

Just had publicly execute the person I left in charge while I was gone. I love being the auditor but can other people please get stuff right the guillotine is getting rusty.

🎸rockoutagain follow

'Stop telling people to kill them selves' look I can't hold concerts 24/7 sometimes you need an everyday way to cause despair.

[bespectacled-bookwyrm]

Heyya! Hope life treats you kind, buddy :)

And, for the ask game.. 4, 5, & 7!!

Hello, hello! Same to you, my friend! ^°^

4: What are some themes you love writing about?

I quite enjoy the theme of "things may be terrible right now, and you're hurting and in pain and want to hide away, but things will get better, and I'll be right by your side every step of the way".

So does hurt/comfort count as a theme? XD (in a way, I suppose it counts as an exploration of the themes of hope and despair!)

I also really enjoy the themes of "light is not good" and "dark is not evil" - they're fun subversions of typical tropes, especially those seen in things like the fantasy genre, and I really enjoy playing around with them.

5: What inspires you to write?

Lots of things! Music and mythology and folklore, mostly, but sometimes a lovely piece of art someone has made (be it writing or a painting, etc.) also inspires me!

Sometimes, though, things just pop into my head with no rhyme or reason! XD

7: Create a character on the spot. . . NOW!

Meet Greg!

His real name can't be pronounced, so people call him Greg instead (not that you'd want to hear his name - apparently, it drives people more than a bit mad!)

He is an incomprehensible eldritch being from beyond the stars, covered in eyes, and has more tentacles than a plate of calamari.

He also has a habit of ripping open cracks in space-time and (accidentally) driving people completely nuts.

Despite his incomprehensible nature, though, he's a pretty chill eldritch being. He tends to be summoned by people who think he's a world-destroyer, but all Greg wants to do is play poker and raid libraries. He just wants to be friends! (But don't stare into his eyes. Things can get. . . weird.)

Thank you for the ask! :)

[birdstooth]

Inspired by/Based on Fics

(sorted alphabetically by author)

@alwayssunnyinedensgate

SERIES - Be Thee Wolf or Sheep

Masterlist - All shall love me and despair!

SERIES - The Second Mrs. Rogers

Chap 2 - Anything you can do...

Chap 3 - This is Spartaaaa!

Chap 4 - Commit to the Bit

Chap 5 - You got the stuff?

Chap 6 - Dances with butlers

Chap 7 - coming soon!

Chap 8 - HMS Peggy

Chap 9 - coming soon!

@charnelhouse

SERIES - The Grey Man AU

Stop All the Clocks - we found kittens!! (Lloyd, Six)

Late Night Discussions - St. Courtney patron saint of trolls 🙏 (Lloyd, Six)

@darkficsyouneveraskedfor

SERIES - Campus AU

Quick Study - Wolfish + pt 2 + pt 3 (Bucky)

SERIES - Hopelessly Devoted

Chap 1 - Rachel but she's Malibu Barbie/a nice Regina George 

Chap 2 - Andy but he’s a Pomeranian 

SERIES - Hue and Cry

Masterlist - READ IT

Chap 1 - advanced psychological warfare (Bucky)

Chap 9 - kill each other!! (Bucky and Steve) + Heraldry + Medal ceremony

SERIES - One

don't look!! (Steve, Bucky)

SERIES - Resistance

Pt 3 - The Triumvirate (Steve/Tony/Bucky) + NEW crew member lmao

SERIES - Unexpected

Animal Crossing Crossdressing

SERIES - Unsolicited

Chap 26 - Humpty Dumpty Allegory? (Lloyd but he’s an egg)

Chap 30 - I’M GONNA BOP YOU feral dog.gif

SERIES - Who's the Boss

Asks/Headcanons:

Lloydlander

Suzanne, defender of interns (kind of)

Bonnie and Clyde CLloyd

Who's the (Cake) Boss

Elle Woods aesthetic

Gotta love Craigslist 

Chap 1 - Americano for GABRIELLE

Chap 17 - spiritual heaven equivalent of your choice ft. bunnies

@delaber

To Let You Win - Bucky with “training weapons”

Saturday Mornings - marginally related doodle (Bucky)

A Date - dates are the #1 cause of 70% of global warming (Borky)

Warrior/Worrier - Hallmark's top sellers

@georgiapeach30513

SERIES - All or Nothing 

This story hasn’t been written yet but we’ve already chosen sides lol

Definitely not the plot but also maybe bc anything is possible

SERIES - Closer to Heaven and Closer to You

Pt 2 - A BULL TELLING YOU A JOKE ABOUT BULLS 

Pt 3 - How Bucky gets his robo arm

Pt 5 - BUNNY & CLYDE + coloured version

Pt. 7 - everything everywhere all at once

SERIES - Stained Like Georgia Clay 

Masterlist - THE MOVIE POSTER (Mr. Peanut, Bumblebezo$, Loretta, Hal)

Chap 5 - Loretta but she's Tom Sawyer (Loretta, Hal, various sheep)

Chap 11 - Loretta gets ONE (1) bacon + alternate scene (Bumblebezo$, Loretta, Hal)

Chap 14 - Captain Wayton Toe & First Mate Loretta 🏴‍☠️ (REDACTED for spoilers, Loretta)

OTHER

Jan 2023 Masterlist - just a St. Bernard sleeping :)

@heli0s-writes

SERIES - A History of Touch

Midnight City - RIP caterpie (Steve)

@imyourbratzdoll

My Pearl - Jewlery heist (Ari, ft. special guest Princess ARIEL)

Drabbles

female character x reader

@lloydsbitch

SERIES - Secret Sierra

Chap 10 - "my two dads"

@navybrat817

The Truth Will Set You Free - dress rehearsal (Nick Fowler, Max Burnett)

Follow You Home - you forgot your Rose! (Bucky x reader)

@rustytricycle

SERIES - The Lion's Mouth

Chap XV - Right now, right now? (Peter Parker) + Idiot Sandwich (Suzanne and Lloyd)

Chap XVI - Poor Suzanne lol (Suzanne and Lloyd)

@secretswiftymarvelfan

His One Weakness - Lloyd vs a spider 

SERIES - Memory Served

What's in a name?

Part 1 - Ransom vs doggos

Part 4 - surprise cameo

@slyyywriting

SERIES - F1 Series

Oversteer (Bucky x trainer!reader)

@straywords

Drabbles

Best Friend! Bucky x Avenger! Reader

Natasha Romanoff x Avenger!Reader x Bucky Barnes

@thenhewaswrongaboutme

SERIES - Your Hands Have Made Some Good Mistakes

Chap 25 - Steve eats a yucky appetizer :(

Epilogue - she wants to order (Bucky)

Barbed Wire & Bare Hands (blurb) - No Steeb, only us!!

SERIES - Northbound & Reaching

Spring Chicken (blurb) - good job buddy!!

SERIES - After You, Hell Should Be Easy

Chap 1 - surveillance time lapse (Winter Soldier)

Build-a-Bucky

dividers by @firefly-graphics

[the-voidful-and-the-blasphemous]

writeblr/artist intro, as i am looking for more people to encourage artistic growth of all kinds with. I wish for a supportive community to receive my art as I receive theirs, with love and curiosity and wonder. Feel free to DM and start a conversation if you see this, I love chit chattin'.

hello, i am Ythene. I like to make things and write. It is my intention to do NaNoWriMo or whatever it's called this year.

Things my art tends to center around:

- meditation as process and theory

- body/cosmic horror

- medieval fantasy tropes

- erotica / smut / kink / etc

- anarchism / over throwing authority

- how to be a human being who lives fully in the world

- being gay and also trans (if you're a TERF not only can you fuck off but I will tell you your art bears no fruit)

- hands (fuckin love hands. Drawing em, modeling em, 3d printing them)

I've written some fanfiction in the past, and you can check out some of my stuff at ao3/YtheneTheJoyful. Elden Ring and Spy X Family are my main fic wheelhouses.

I'm happy to read works upon request as a beta reader, just an FYI I'm not equipped for in depth editing. Also to check in and do accountabili-buddy things. I'm only trained as a software developer, so take whatever I say with a grain of salt. But I've got an Eye of sorts, and I'm good at asking guiding questions.

If you're interested in collaborating/improving with a curious they/them in their late twenties who has finally felt their artistic audacity kick in, hmu.

A lil taste of what my NNWM thing will be about:

When should a monk hold a sword?

A desolate kingdom struggles amidst a brewing war, and material abyss. A monk named Rhea, seeking truth, watches in horror as the teachings are twisted by a ruthless king, who seeks prosperity through conquest. Rhea despairs as her fellow monks contort their words towards war, elevating their king to a godly stature.

Can she find the truth at the root of all things, stay alive, avert a war, and kill a god before it is born?

This piece is very inspired by the book Zen At War. It's something I'm thinking about as I navigate my own meditation practice.

[lesbianinthenightosphere]

Laios goes Toothless

To anyone reading this, sorry in advance /s. The autism enchiridion in the original inspired me to write a short story where Laios snaps because he can't find the final dragon on his hunting log.

*Laios spawns in Hiccup's bedroom*.

Hiccup wakes up, sees blood and guts splattered everywhere. Out of the corner of his vision he sees golden eyes staring at him in the darkness.

"Who the fuck are you and what did you do to my Toothless?"

"Oh, was that your buddy? Its skin was kinda tough but Senshi set me up with this tenderizer for the road. Here, wanna try some?", he says while sketching an almost indistinguishable grin on his cold face and extending his bloody hand with a slab of dripping meat in it.

"You don't want my meat, viking boy?", says Laios while laughing hysterically. "Trust me, it's been thoroughly seasoned, unlike you".

Hiccup starts screaming and sobbing in despair. He retreats into a fetal position, leaning with his back to the wall, his hands covering his face as if to protect him from being grabbed.

"Please! Don't you fiends have any moral code where you come from?"

"Damn, thinking of it, Marcille did say we should avoid cannibalism as long as we don't have to revive someone. You do look pretty tasty though, which is a shame. Now I'm kinda bummed because I don't know what to do", Laois says scratching his chin in confusion. He extends his hand towards Hiccup as if to comfort him.

Hiccup pulls a knife from underneath his pillow and stabs a hole through the tall-man's hand. He starts bleeding out profusely, then he starts licking his hand as if he got bitten by a mosquito.

"Marcille, can you hear me? I'm feeling kinda sleepy. So. Much. Blood".

Out of nowhere, Laios gets poofed back to the dungeon.

*hands meat covered in black scales to party*

"Quick, MUST TASTE YUMMY DRAG'-DRAG' !"

*Marcille stares in PTSD*

He starts wobbling while munching on his fresh night fury wing. He collapses to the ground, his hand dropping the treasure.

Hours later, he wakes up topless and covered in bandages, his back covered in claw marks.

"Laios, did you kill someone's familiar again? You know we're already being hunted by the Lord for doing black magic. Are you also trying to get us killed by vikings?"

"Meh, I was hungry and I wanted to relive mom's story that she always read to me. Plus, it's not like those Senshi-looking knock-offs could ever figure out how to teleport out of Berk".

*Marcille's tummy starts rumbling*. She knows full well they've been out of rations for days now.

"C'mon, Marcy! Just think of it as eating your girlfriend", says Laios with a stupid grin on his face.

Marcille picks up the dragon wings with a defeated look on her face and sits down in the corner, sobbing, as she secretly enjoys the carnal pleasures of dragon meat.

you know he would have been one of Those kids

inspired by this pic: