#inshallah this fall will be better

[wormheamer]

sorry professor but your teaching style and my mental illnesses are a match made in hell

[occamstfs]

Ramadan Recitations

Here's a Arab/Muslim Cultural TF, figured I may as well throw it up for Eid! May not be for everyone, but may those who enjoy have at it! Happy Eid! -Occam

It’s the end of March and Allen’s roommate has been listening to the Quran out loud for the length of Ramadan. He’s out of town for the weekend and Allen is uncomfortable sitting alone in the silence of their apartment. Now that he hasn’t heard the consistent background melodies of a recitation in a couple days he realizes what delight they brought him. He goes to find the playlist that Mo had been using. Suddenly feeling the golden cross that hangs from his neck everyday he briefly reconsiders before deciding to put on the recitation anyway. Jesus is in the Quran right? It’s not like there’s any harm to appreciating someone else’s culture.

Assuming Mo wouldn’t mind Allen using his speakers he throws on the Tilawa, Mo would be playing it now himself anyway. Allen starts to work as the reciter begins his melodic reading. He almost tunes it out as he starts reading and responding to emails in their shared living room. His body sits at ease as the rhythm of the man’s speaking reverberates through him.

Allen doesn’t speak a word of Arabic, but as he continues to type up droll responses to even duller emails he finds himself paying more attention to the verses than work that he needs to get done. As his distraction rises he tabs away from work and decides to take a break and see what exactly the verses that he’s so fond of are saying. He scans a translation but his eyes glaze over as he remembers Mohammad telling him that to really understand the words of the prophet one must read in his tongue. 

Instead Allen just decides to just close his eyes and listen to the deep melodies of the mother tongue. The patterns and unfamiliar tonality provide him a comfort he doesn’t understand. He listens and the song only grows sweeter to his ears, he lies back against the couch as he begins to hum along uncertainly to the music. Allen harmonizes better by the second as he feels some sense of understanding over the distinctively not western scales, however he doesn’t notice as the chain of his necklace breaks, falling to the floor. He doesn’t hear the cross hit the floor instead remaining focused on his serene enjoyment of the man singing scripture to him.

Continuing to hum along, Allen notices that despite trying to keep a steady note, his tone seems to be getting deeper. He clears his throat and finds it’s not only his humming but his voice entire that has lowered in pitch. He rises from his serene reverie to go and find some medicine worried now that he is coming down with the flu. Standing he also notices that the temperature seems as if it’s rising in the apartment as well. Allen goes to grab some medicine, under his breath saying “inshallah I’m not sick eh?” Mo had been teaching him Arabic for some time now, but he always avoiding using it, Inshallah in particular since so many kids who certainly don’t appreciate Arabic culture are throwing it around. At this moment though Allen says it as if it’s an instinct, as if he has been using the language for some time. 

Walking to a medicine cabinet Allen doesn’t notice as the volume increases on the speakers to still reach his ears. Words continue to steadily flow into his mind, standing in front of the cabinet he finds alongside the still increasing warmth there is a soreness starting to appear through the whole of his body. He groans in his deeper voice, feeling his Adam’s apple rest strangely on his throat as he tries to stretch out his soreness. It’s like he hit the gym this morning, though he certainly has not. He takes deep slow breaths as he bends down to work out the pain in his legs and torso, unaware as his body begins to lengthen in height. He feels the aircon blow up his shirt as his midriff is now exposed, he pulls it down in vain before reaching to grab medicine, accidentally overshooting thanks to his added height.

Allen makes his way back to the living room, dry swallowing his flu medicine before sitting back down to enjoy his repose. This time not only does he have an instinctual understanding of the melody and rhythm, but he finds himself knowing what words are to come next in the verses. Surely he hasn’t heard recitations that much right? He doesn’t even speak the language how could he possibly, nevertheless he starts whispering under his breath the words he feels should be next and finds himself right on the money. His whispering slowly grows in volume as he finds himself beginning to sing along with the tapes, “Bismillah al-Rahman al-Rahim…” he continues on with the verse, singing as if classically trained.

He shoves his hand over his mouth in shock and finds another surprise awaiting him on his face. He is perpetually clean-shaven for work and yet all of a sudden there is stubble growing on his face. Allen rushes to the restroom to inspect his face and finally finds something impossible happening to him. He sees the roots of his hair growing darker, pushing thicker out from his head. Not only has he suddenly grown stubble but the scruff on his face is rapidly approaching a full beard. As he clutches at his hair and beard in inspection he finds that the changes are not isolated to his face.

He sees his arms stretch further from his shirt than they did this morning and feels the awkward gaps on his waist and ankles, and feels the air blow against the dark hairs beginning to spread up his stomach and legs. He sees hair thicker than his pubes begin to grow on his wrists spreading indeterminably up his arms. The reciter’s voice grows stronger as Allen inspects himself, his eyes racing from one part of his body to another seeking any sign of normality. He feels an itch in his pits and on his chest as the song rises in pitch and volume. There is a drive in his chest to continue singing along but as he makes eye-contact with himself in the mirror, seeing the blue eyes he’s always loved swiftly staining themselves the color of coffee before darkening even further he knows that there can be no explanation for this other than that man’s voice.

He clenches his jaw to keep himself quiet as he races through the living room to shut off the speakers. His longer legs trip over themselves as each frantic breath he takes begins to expand his chest. Beyond the physical changes to his body he feels a change begin to take root in his mind. Allin feels he must be big, he must be strong. It is as Allah wills it. He stumbles in front of the speakers as he finds himself torn on what to do. He sees his arms darken under the still growing forest of hair on his arms, his biceps tearing his sleeves as they tan. Growing chest hair tickling his shirt he feels muscle surge from his chest as he raises his hand to yank the speakers from the wall. 

The voice of the man singing grows to a din as it is joined by a chorus of other voices within Alin’s head. Thousands of recitations, of songs, the Quran and countless Hadith surge into his mind in a horrible cacophony. He yanks the power cord from the wall and the dissonant symphony within his mind vacates. And Alin is once more left alone with himself, his ears ringing and his vision blotchy. Slowly recovering and laying on the floor he begins to hear himself groan through the tinnitus. Even his moaning sounds changed as the man begins to lose his English vocabulary to learn the only tongue that shall truly matter to him now, that of the sacred book.

He whines to himself switching between eloquent Arabic vulgarities and English more accented by the second, he sees a cross necklace next to him, calling out quite loudly, “Madha? What is this?” Must be a prank from Mo, ach he needs to work on his material eh. Sitting alone in the living room Alin tries to think of what to do to distract himself, both from the silence surrounding him and from the flood of information storming in his head. Suddenly everything becomes simpler when he decides to just do what he always does, turning to the East Alin sees Mo’s prayer rug, always lying out for convenience’s sake. Alin grimaces and briefly considers phoning Mo for his lack of dedication, but upon seeing the skintight outfit he is wearing to pray he reconsiders. He should focus on correcting himself before fretting over even his friend.

Alin closes his eyes once more, languishing in the quiet for one moment before he begins his own, his deep voice ringing out as he sings verse in praise, “Ah, Allahu Akbar.” His chest growing to hold more breath and his pecs begin to surge large enough to honor Allah with his body. He hugs his stomach as he continues “Subhanakal-lahumma wabihamdika-” He feels his biceps pull against his massive chest and almost smirks as he thinks about them, he feels an urge, a desire to flex the them before clicking his tongue at himself to stay on task.

“Subhanna rabbeeyal adheem-” he bends down, feeling his thighs and ass push out behind him, ripping large tears into his pants At the same time Alin sees the bulge in his pants grow larger, popping his zipper and escaping from his pants. He sharply inhales as he feels everything is suddenly more intense. He feels his body grow beyond the limits of his clothes. He feels his already larger cock begin to grow erect and Alin, continues to sing “Rabbana walakal hamd-”

Finally he prepares to do his favorite part of Rakats, he gets to his knees before fully prostrating himself. Continuing the prayer as he feels his beard grow heavier on his face. His forehead touches the floor and he smiles, feeling a warm itch in his crotch as his briefs strain to contain him, pubes spilling out every way, “Subhanna rabbeeyal ‘alaa”

He rises back to seating, the motion creating an intense pang of pleasure throughout his body as he struggles to maintain control of his senses. He ekes out, “Rabbigh-fir lee…” becores cumming in his briefs. He finishes the Rakat in his solid pants before promptly leaving to regain his dignity and change into actual prayer appropriate attire, changing into a thobe and doing two Rak’a ending with a Tashahhud as one is to do.

Ali smiles as he sits in reflection having finally quieted the chaos within his mind. He feels his strong body hidden under the thobe and comforted in his time spent worshiping. His final thoughts before he decides to do another round of Rak’a is a conviction to thank Mo for sending him that playlist of Quranic Recitations. He does not know who he would be without it. Inshallah he shall get the chance to bring his light to others. He rubs his hands down his powerful body as he stands. Wallah, they don't know what they’re missing.

[zaurae]

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇

𝘊𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘺𝘭𝘦

The first step to achieving a new goal; identity; a lifestyle is to overcome laziness. I am myself was and sometimes have my lazy moments; however, to really make a change and accomplish the goals you desire first starts with changing your current lifestyle to the one you want; the person you want to become; and to work hard for the goals you want.

Of course, with that being said, do not change your whole lifestyle in one day. That is overwhelming and impossible, you will just go back to your old ways and become worse. Others say to have a new goal each day; however, for a more stable and consistent change, have a new goal every month. For instance, this month you will focus on balancing your meals; and then the next month is to be consistent through your sunnah namaz.

Each time you make these monthly goals, it shifts your one percent better than before. And as always be kind to yourself if you ever fall back or feel like giving up. Change can be difficult and that is why it is also important to go at your own paste even if that monthly goal turns to a year. Try your best and have faith in yourself!

Inshallah these steps help you!

𝑭𝒐𝒄𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒉

When you begin to prioritize Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala I swear your life changes. You begin to have inner peace, confidence, a burst of imaan and happiness. No matter who you are, no matter what your past is, dont ever let it stop you from becoming closer to Allah the Almighty.

We all have a past, guilt, a deed we committed that we are not proud of. But let me tell you something, Allah forgives every sin, Allah loves those who repent and try to change, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive those even if they sinned their whole lives, and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala loves us no matter what.

So, who are you to say you are not worthy of forgiveness? I heard doubting your lord's mercy is a sin itself. That just shows how much our lord loves us, how merciful Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is.

I sometimes do have that feeling of me not being able to be forgiven but please remind yourself how much of a merciful lord we have that even if we repent just now, we are forgiven.

The most important steps to focus on Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and be better is to do the following:

Be consistent and on time with your five daily prayers (Fajr, Dhuhr, Asr, Mahrib, and Isha)

I know Fajr is hard for others or any of the prayers; However, try your best and pray to Allah to make it easier for you, to be consistent, to be engaged in prayer and to connect with it too, Start by setting up an alarm for each of the five prayers, strengthen your imaan by looking up the benefits of the five daily prayers; perform wudhu 10-15 minutes before (I tried this and it definitely made it easier for me to be on time and to be more engaged in namaz).

Perform Dhikr (Whether you have tesbih or the tesbih counter, always repeat Allahs most loved words like Subhanallah; Alhamdulilah, Allahu Akbar; La illaha Ilalah; Agstafurillah, and the 99 names. Even when you are working or at school--no matter where you are repeat these words as they are light on the tongue but heavy on the scale.)

Read the Quran (Sometimes life gets in the way, and we become very busy and that is why I recommend downloading a Quran app so no matter if you're at school or not you can read an ayat or two which is still heavy on the scale. And also learning how to read the Quran. No matter what level you are on learning how to recite the Quran, try your best and know that you can do it!)

Perform goodness (Try your best to give up those bad habits, those bad deeds and replace them with good ones. No matter how big or small those good deeds are, always be consistent with them.)

Make dua (For everything I listed, always make dua to make it easier for you, to ask for the things you want and need, and of course before you even ask for anything always repent and ask for forgiveness, as your lord is the most forgiving)

𝑪𝒉𝒂��𝒈𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒆𝒕

Mindset is everything! Shift your mindset to a positive one! stop thinking that you deserve every bad event. Stop thinking that bad incident was the end of it all; or how that rejection you got is the end to your happiness.

There is something I stand by and believe, and that is whatever did not work out for you is an opportunity for something better to happen.

Regardless of what is happening in your life right now, just know it is a test, a test that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is making you go through because why? Allah subhanahu wa ta'alaloves those he tests and is going to grant something way better. What you need to do is for you to believe something better will happen and to never give up.

Along with changing your mindset--change your mind set about yourself as in stop thinking your this and that, that your "ugly" or "weak". First of all, your beautiful and beauty should not define your inner beauty. Change the way you view yourself, just like affirmations think and believe you are beautiful, your amazing, successful, smart, and going to achieve your goals.

When you start to think of yourself as the person you want to become--you start to become that ideal identity. As you think about how beautiful you are, your face becomes more brighter, or how you began to think on how smart you are, you begin to work harder. Believe it or not but mindset is number one in taking action for change so please think good about yourself and life and shift those bad events to better opportunities.

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓

Character is very important! By changing and improving your character, it overall changes your how you act and think. Character in islam is especially talked about. Following how our Prophet Muhammed sallallahu alaihi wasallam used to speak and his mannerism is an excellent example we should all follow.

Speak softly and to not speak unnecessary words (gossiping, lying, swearing)

Appear approachable (Have a positive demeanor and stop glaring at others!)

Have manners (Fix your posture, know your limits, and be polite)

Smile (Its sunnah!)

Know your limits (As mentioned before, being polite and to smile often; however, there are some people who take kindness the wrong way so make sure to be kind but you don't always have to be that cheerful bear. Make sure you are comfortable and know when to say no.)

𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒚

Education is soooo important!

I know some people hate school and listen I hated school too but! School is so important--education is. Jobs now days only look at your education history and whether you have a diploma or not, which is why you should focus on your studies and go to school!

Others, including me, have had no idea what to study--what to become and at times like that it is very hard and discouraging and I understand. I finally applied to college after finding a program where it did not seem too hard, and it seemed like a program that I could like.

That being said, if you are having trouble to find a career path to pursue, write down your skills, what you're interested in, and what you are good at. For instance, you like to write and like to talk to others--consider Office Administration as you are required to write a lot. Point is, find your passions and research what career you could put your passion in to. And trust me, it won't be easy (pray and make istikhara which career path to take) but I believe we will all figure it out and find that career inshallah.

Take advantage on the ability to be able to study and get that education!

I hope this helps!! and remember to have a good day!

[chainsawcorazon]

i still have to read the second half of tim drake: robin, so i have some hope that bernard functions as more than just The Boyfriend, but i also wanna note that every day i thank allah that he’s not a fitzmartin OC, because that would be plain tragic 😂😂😂 even if he doesn’t gain a personality outside of those killer booty shorts, at least we still have the OG bernbear appearances to fall back on to build out future stories. she couldn’t have chosen a better character, and i will admit, i have no idea why bernard and not tim’s other canonical civilian homies he had much better friendships with, BUT. it works to our advantage, even if he doesn’t fit within fitzmartin’s cookie cutter American BL mold. inshallah a good writer will come along and give us the c4c (cunt for cunt) timbern we really deserve.

[mrsq8geek]

Ramadan Challenge 2024, Day 1

What are your goals this Ramadan? Possible suggestions: 1 habit to build, 1 habit to break, and one accomplishment you hope to gain!

It's early on the first day as I write this, my suhoor hasn't even digested yet.  I wish I had a nice answer for this question, but the fact is I'm just trying to survive it in one piece.  Ramadan this year falls in a somewhat difficult time for my family where we can't afford, well, time.  It's wishful thinking to assume our schedule will allow for any additional thing when we're already living in half-hour chunks from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep.

That being said, I do have goals! They're just not what you'd expect, like trying to do a khatma.  That's unlikely.  Instead, besides just trying to survive, I'm really hoping that the schedule change during Ramadan allows me to implement any one of the changes I'm trying to do anyway.

1. Be more mindful when I read Quran (even 5 minutes of mindfulness is better for me than 20 minutes of blind reading).

2. Be more consistent in my son's education at home (30-40 minutes skills work before school isn't that much time per day but it'll have a huge impact over time!).

3. Carve out time in the day for my physical health (even if you manage 5-10 minutes of walking before or after futoor, it's something!).

4. Do better at housekeeping this mess (~1-2 hours regularly or daily beats 4 hours once or twice a week).

5. Dedicate time to support husband's Ramadan goals (sitting with him for 15 minutes to keep him on track is still more than letting him rely on his poor executive functioning skills).

6. Tackle the backlog.  There's always a backlog, but right now a few items that have been left undone too long are having consequences, especially the things affecting my health and my family.

7. Mental health.  The way I've been letting it decline hasn't been helping anyone. It's hard work to sit with your demons, but it's Ramadan, so they're all chained up!

8. Bite the bullet around well-meaning but ultimately tactless family and/or friends. Socializing is difficult.

I wish I had time to do all of them, but getting even one or two going would be nice.

They're mostly the kinds of goals that are stepping stones on the way to more luxurious, privileged goals like having the time, health, and resources to attend taraweeh daily.  Maybe in another year or two, inshallah we'll see easier Ramadans.

There is nothing more I can do for our brothers and sisters in Palestine than what I'm already doing.  If nothing else, put in a daily click.

Oh, and I really like this goal setting sheet from this year.

Day 2

[chaiaurchaandni]

These past two months have filled me with nothing but tears. I was looking for a post I reblogged from you two years ago about the “warnings” Israel sends Palestinians before bombing their homes and cried reading it aloud again. May Palestinians one day be free and may their oppressor’s grey heads go down to the grave in blood.

ohmygod i know exactly the post youre talking about anon! i went back and looked at it also in the first week of israeli bombing this october bec zionists online kept bringing up those 'warnings,' as they always do, to justify bombing civilians. it's insane that this is seen as a mercy.

honestly, i've never felt so deeply heartbroken. i dont feel like watching a new show or reading my silly little poems or listening to taylor swift anymore. every waking moment of mine is consumed with the desperate need to do something - anything at all - for palestine. to spread awareness, and encourage people to donate, and deconstruct israeli propaganda bec this is all i can do now. i dont want to fall into despair and im doing my best to cultivate revolutionary optimism and hope!! i've cried and had nightmares and messed up my quizzes bec i cannot stop thinking about everything that's happening in palestine but!!! every single time, i have picked myself up and reminded myself that this is also a battle of perseverance, and we cannot afford to exhaust ourselves to the point that we cannot look after ourselves and therefore, cannot contribute to the cause.

my heart goes out to you anon and i hope you know that we are all united in our solidarity, in our collective pain and also in our collective struggle!! and youre aways welcome to reach out if it gets overwhelming and if you just need someone to talk to <3

(just a side note: i have personally been able to cope better with the despair ever since i started following more palestinian resistance-centric sources, e.g. the telegram channel, resistance news network + accounts like mellow.falahi on IG or revolutionaryem on X/TWT just to mention a few. these sources report on the activities of resistance forces + translate messages from different resistance factions + share news ab israeli aggressions all over occupied palestine, while also speaking about the long history of palestinian resistance/sharing speeches from iconic palestinian revolutionaries/sharing revolutionary artwork, etc. i think it's rlly imp to remember that palestinian resistance has existed ever since zionism landed in palestine (even before 1948) and that this is just one of many battles fought by the resistance. every single time, the palestinian people have survived and the palestinian resistance has survived. this time will be no different inshallah.)

[urlocallesbiabs-reblog-sideblog]

i really hate how pervasive usamerican cultural & political influence is. russian separatists are posting about biden, bashkort nationalists are posting about biden, financial advisors are posting about biden, an idel-ural news outlet is posting about biden, my old ukrainian acquaintances are posting about biden, my friends and loved ones are talking about biden! even me, despite my better judgement! everywhere, all around the world!!! why should i care, why should i know! inshallah may this country fall to pieces

[theplotofdeen]

The Situation with Palestine

Palestine is a beautiful place.

But, it is also a place ravaged with cruelty and the slaughter of our brothers and sisters. It is shocking to witness the horrors that unfold in the conflict between Palestine and Israel. It is a sad reminder of the conflict the world will fall to before Yawm-Ul-Qiyamah.

Are we going to stand here, in our comfortable homes? While the members of our Ummah continue to be ignored? Children, Women and people of determination all fall to this violence. It is truly terrible that our children and brothers and sisters all have to face something truly as awful as this. If you really have been living under a rock for so long. Let me educate you on this. According to Wikipedia,

"The Israeli–Palestinian conflict is one of the world's most enduring conflicts, beginning in the mid-20th century." A conflict arising from Israel claiming the whole of Jerusalem as its capital, while the Palestinians claim East Jerusalem as the capital of a future Palestinian state. Because of the difference of beliefs, segregation on many different things have risen. Tensions between the two states grew, and with it, violence too.

Pray for our families, friends and comrades. Inshallah, we will see the peace that they have always desired.

More details for this can be found here-

@freetheummah.__ on instagram. May Allah make our world a better place and end our misery.

[gleeandshame]

Gbbo 2022 finale is here, spoilers

Abdul I want your shirt

Oh yeah no offense to Abdul but I wasn’t that wowed last week but he did deserve star baker

Sorry there are previews and recaps and I’m easily distracted

Tbh these are for me (and also for me to keep track of when becca has watched gbbo, hi becca!)

Syabira flavors, beloved

Noel :/ y’all can’t stay healthy for one season, lol

I mean at least picnic makes sense and has baking but hope they can get the time right

No porky pie 🐷

Sometimes I forget vegetarian and vegan exist. Vegan bakes would probably be… difficult that’s different

Deep throat cackle from that “American accent”

We love a redemption Sandro, good luck

Awwww Sandro’s family, his mum :’)

Inshallah you will win :’)

Sandro miming a handshake

I would jokingly call Syabira a madlad hugging a tree but she did actually have some like Halloween makeup holding that cake, lol so she is a weird one

Remember her spider cake I mean

Is boyfee british boyfriend slang?

I should try to bake something one of these days 😫

I hate buying ingredients tho, lol.

Did Sandro make a tiny “nah” or “nya” sound at time call?

Not sure what cress is……..

I think for signatures technically Abdul and Syabira baked better than Sandro since his pie was under?

British people really like elderflower or something?

I don’t know what a bombe is. It looks weird….

Syabira and Abdul know about the boiling

Idk what bloom it means… make a slurry?

Tbh I forgot what the kisses looked like already

Have they ever done the bread like that before, gift of your old bread

This is such a weird recipe

Oh no Sandro, but like not a common thing to know I’m sure

Pray to Beyoncé 😝

No one knows wtf that bake is and I don’t blame them

Sandro’s round head movement for the nod / shake

Abdul’s first technical win, shut up Paul

Group hug :’)

But faster than God :O

Rainbow, gay

bees

Lol, okay Syabira, I hope it comes out nice

They should give them 6 hours….

Oh dear. Lots of baking issues with Sandro, but uh yummy and pretty intricate

This is ugly as sin Syabira, lol

But yummy and pretty skilled, just uuuuugly

Abdul is like half and half, good and issues, hmmmm

I am falling asleep it is 2am lol

Lol I do not want to see hate for the winner in the tags, I’ve seen it a couple times

I can’t believe they don’t win money, but just huge marketing and publicity and celebrity

I do love Syabira, she’s so funny and weird

Also her flavors

Sandro about to cry, positive?

I do believe they all are happy for Syabira also

That was a pretty weak where are they now :’(

Sandro measuring a thick and tall cake like ooookay, lol.

I guess I was a little underwhelmed with the finale. But regardless I did like the finalists and happy with the result. They’re all superstars

The season as a whole? Not my fave but I think there were funny moments (all baker provided not by hosts or judges), and seemed everyone liked each other and Janusz got to say trans lives matter Basically so nice for that

The negatives in general throughout: Tired of all the cooking in technicals and time crunch throughout and weird appropriation-esque food (weird or incorrect judging) and bad jokes on cultures for challenges. But yes. If the straw ever breaks me back I’ll let you know

I’m big sleepy I don’t have any deeper thoughts

[lovergirlswineverytime]

lover girls (ME!!) are losing.....

6/22/24

Ok first of all, losing is kinda of a stretch. I think the number one thing I need to keep in mind is to be grateful, so sitting up here with a roof on my head and food in my fridge and a hulu subscription and say I am having a terrible time is wholly incorrect.

BUT...

I don't know what is is about the approach of the month of July that makes me feel so inadequate and unhappy. Truly, I feel like I am drowning. I am feeling this way for several reasons:

I failed a class last quarter and had to drop a major

I am failing at sticking to a diet and workout and I gained weight

I am just generally feeling unhappy and unfullfilled

But the problem is I have been feeling this way for a while. In fact, since the beginning of this calendar year, I have felt terrible more often than not. SO instead of continuing to MOPE I am going to make and actionable plan so I present to youuuuuuu:

PROJECT DO BETTER!!

(The name is still under construction but the sentiment is there)

Inshallah, before September I am going

Pass my summer classes

Secure a fall job and/or internship

Strengthen my relationship with god

Feel beautiful in my skin

I don't want life to pass me by. I don't want to constantly yearn for the past or future. I want to be HAPPY!!!!!!! Inshallah, I will.

[mrsq8geek]

Ramadan Challenge 2024, Day 4

Day 4: Ramadan is the month of the qur'an. What is an ayah from the Qur'an that has changed your view of things or impacted you deeply (this year)?

وَمَن يَتَّقِ ٱللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُۥ مَخْرَجًۭا (٢) And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make a way out for them, وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُۥٓ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ بَـٰلِغُ أَمْرِهِۦ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ ٱللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَىْءٍۢ قَدْرًۭا (٣) and provide for them from sources they could never imagine. And whoever puts their trust in Allah, then He ˹alone˺ is sufficient for them. Certainly Allah achieves His Will. Allah has already set a destiny for everything.

— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran Surah Al-Talaq aya 2-3

This isn't from this year, it's actually from April 2013.  I was going through such a hard time and completely losing hope in everything.  It was one of the few times in my life I actually felt ungrateful to god because I couldn't see the point of everything I was going through.  I felt embarrassed for being ungrateful as soon as I felt it, because clearly I was doing better than a lot of people.  I was just lost and couldn't think what to do next.  So I said whatever dua came to mind for guidance, just prayed from the heart because I felt helpless and powerless in my situation.  This was the aya that got me through an incredibly dark time, a crucial fork in the road when I really needed courage to speak up for myself or risk suffering potentially devastating consequences for the rest of my life.

I still keep the ajr in mind for my daily tasks, even if I don't specifically refer to this aya in particular in daily life.  But it's always there for me to fall back on.

Diary for today:

Writing this before I go do the final preparation for futoor.  Today the hunger pangs are working together with PMS cramps.  I can't even cough without feeling it.  The PMS headache and lower back pain aren't helping either.  I have the privilege of being able to be kind to myself today: since I'm too physically weak for much, I mostly slept, then when I woke up, did less than usual.  I have that option and the rest will allow me to recover my strength inshallah.

I saw that the Oscars are trending on tumblr these past couple of days. Listen, I understand celebrating our website-wide certified holiday, the Ides of March, but y'all really said let's not talk about the Oscars and then did.  And you know what?  I get it.  Unless you're the one in the situation, you won't be able to keep on that one note, because you've got a life outside of it. 

Maintenance is hard work.  These fights are marathons, not sprints, although the sprints definitely help, too!  I'm wondering to wear for Eid even as I hold my breath over the inevitable atrocities they're planning for Palestine's Eid.  I just hope that even if people don't turn up for Palestine every day, enough of them do for some change to take place.

Daily click as much a reminder for myself.

Day 1 | Day 3 | Day 5

[oreocoffee]

I stopped talking to people that were wasting my time. I need action not half assed broken promises. Anyways,

This boiiii said to keep talking he likes it😏😭🙈 but uska aur mera Kabi hogi Nai. Shaddi. I literally said that the convo is ending because he said ok 😂 yeh larka mera nakhre bhi samal tha hai 🥺but Nai Nai, yeh Nai hosakta. Shareef Banda hai, jatt hai tho🙈

Moving on…

I’ve been having heartburn so haven’t been to the gym in three days. I’m excited to go back eventually when I’m better, I will have a hotter body in June & I will find me a massimo/hirthik roshan ❤️&! Ima travel the whole state.

In fall ima catch a flight to Fiji and sign the divorce papers, inshallah. Or hire a lawyer or whatever.

[dragonsdreamoffire]

Okay, time for the monthly newsletter in which I check in, beg for your forgiveness, and write a convoluted introduction!! I’ve decided to change the style from letter to newspaper— in honor of your recent ventures into the newspaper with your club!! WHICH IS SO COOLLLLLLLLLL FOR THE RECORD

En specifique, I’m writing this as a Letter to The Editor! (Journalism class is coming in clutch for this, our first unit was on all the different types of news in a newspaper)

Well, if I really wanted to make this look like a letter to the editor, I guess this would have to be formatted into a tiny column on the sodes of the opinion section of the newspaper. Hm…

Anyway!

I’m looking through my inbox to catalog the things you’ve told me that I didn’t get a chance to reply to that I’m so sorry for but also very excited to reply to and this is a run on sentence stopping it here let’s go:

YOUR SUNFLOWER SNEAKERS ARE ADORABLE, AND YOUR FIT WAS ADORABLE THAT DAY. I love the floral, you looked stunning, Dream. Well, you always look stunning, so that’s not a surprise

Newspaper. Details. Now. (Please, Pretty, Pretty, Please) How’s it going? Who’s joined? Do you like it so far?

My Carrd only speaks the truth! Maybe I should make that part in a bigger font. Can never express how much I love you with words, but maybe the size of the words will help.

THANK YOU for the happy birthday <3 I appreciate it. That day was not a good one, but you did make it better. I managed to make my first quarter grades look decent in the end!

Perennially I concern myself with whether or not you’re overworking, so I think I’m gonna start including “please let dream be having a good, restful day inshallah” in my my daily mantras

I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO THE THE HOTSPOT THING YOU DID WITH MY NAME. Well, not exactly. I am gonna change my airpods’ name to something referring to you, though

How’s debate going? Oh, and the moves? Oh, and school?! Honestly. How are you, Dream? Answers optional to any of the points brought up in this ask, but I’d love to hear <3

I love you,

Lusy

The newspaper writing style is terrific thank you <33

I will say that tumblr does format this into tiny writing so I can certainly imagine this on the side of a newspaper

Thank you I love those sneakers and I love that you love them 🥺

The newspaper!! Well my partner Jack has been great, I’m hoping he falls in love with me because that’d be aesthetic. I’m kidding, but we’ve got a few members, less than I’d hoped but we’re still spreading the good news 😌 I’ve been glad of the progress we’ve seen though, and we’ve got great ideas going :))

Oh you should absolutely make it in into a bigger font, declare to the world your love, and I’ll spend some time making a card too so we can match~

I’m glad I’d made your birthday feel a little better <33

Awwwwwww Lusy 😭 you’re so sweet I’ll cry, I’m going to do that too you’re so terrific

I love that for us, my hotspot is named after you and I, and your AirPods are named after us, positively adorable

The debate stuff is going meh, and school is also kinda meh. I’m just paying attention to the little things in life and finding joy where I can, it’s how I’ve found easiest to keep sane.

Recently I’ve realized something about how I would want a relationship if I was interested in it. (I’m both scared of parental retribution and relatively ok with the arranged marriage thing and also dislike guys my age and I couldn’t date a girl because that’s far too risky with my parents around)

I’d probably like a reverse friends with benefits. Instead of just unholy things without romance (and commitment because it’s friends), I’d like to have purely a romantic agreement, no s*x (and still no commitment). I’m not going to exactly go out and look for it or try to have it, but I have found I dislike the idea of a relationship and I dislike s*x, but I crave hugs.

My friends are all unfortunate not super big huggers and I’m sort of looking for a 30 minute hug, so I’m unfortunately out of luck haha

I also went to my cousins wedding, and I figure an arranged marriage wouldn’t be that bad, but it brought to mind that talk we had. I saw my cousin who married last year with his wife, I love her she’s wonderful, except. How does marrying someone immediately qualify them as more important than your friends. Or that you trust them? It seems to be working just fine for all the 20-something Muslim adults I know who are marrying, the system of finding someone relatively compatible and just marrying them and I get why. Making a choice to commit to someone is more important than simply chasing feelings because relationships are about dedication, but I don’t understand how other relationships are considered less of a priority because of it, or how people view romantic relationships as tangential to platonic ones, they share some things but they ultimately diverge.

Anyways I’ll send a few pictures from the wedding later :))

[everyday-is-brighter-with-you]

are you warm this winter?

[ GIF ID: A younger Kamal Bora and Dr. Habit sit on a pink snow covered bench, with some icicles on it. 

Kamal wears a baggy blue hoodie and grey pants with red sneakers. A purple sweater is tied around his waist and he has on a black cap with a pompom and two hanging extensions at the sides with pompoms. It shadows his face. His hair is short. He has a silver ring with inscriptions on one finger, An open tiffin of masor tenga sits on his lap with the tiffin box beside him. Habit wears a black school sweater with white sleeves and a red skirt, the logo of the school is of a faceless angel with a cross. He has black gloves and socks with bandages on his legs. A red striped scarf from his neck intertwines them both.

Kamal and Habit hold one of their hands together, smiling in content. Kamal’s smile is somewhat awkward. Habit has some of Kamal’s food unwiped near his lips.

On the bench, two dark-eyed juncos nestle in the snow. To the bottom left of the bench a patch of snowdrops grows. A Carla snow-figure is seen with a carrot for a nose, wax lips, one swirly eye dug in and the other a button with a green leaf as an eyebrow, red wax lips, a branch for a hand.

A great big tree grows out from behind, branches twisting and spreading out into fuzzy white leaves and many bunches of red berries. The bark is a pale brown with jagged swirl patterns.

Behind the tree, far away is a icy lake with skating shoes near it. There are two snow angels nearby, one big and one small. Below the far end of the tree, to the bottom and right, is a glowing lamp post which a red jay flies away from. Below it three sparrows are flying down and below them, near the bench are four dark-eyed juncos flying away.

The bench disintegrates into pale swirls. Near the lamppost, in cursive dark blue is written the lyrics to Once Upon A December -

‘Dancing bears, painted wings

Things I almost remember

And a song, someone sings

Once Upon A December

someone holds me safe and warm..’

A grown up Dr.Habit is behind the bench, holding the lamppost, bending the bottom. He is ghost- like in inverted blue and black, a stark contrast to the color around him. His face is covered by his hair, expression anguished. Some of his glow reflects on the two kids below.

The image overall has a bright, pale white overlay to evoke winter. The GIF shows snow particles falling. end GIF ID]

[ IMAGE ID: The same picture but without any GIF effect. This version has a slight noise and glitch effect on the colors. The overlay is a slight dark vignette and subdued grey-blue. It looks softer and less bright. end ID]

TALK UNDER THE CUT

This isn’t how its supposed to go...

(Text reads : ‘This isn’t how its supposed to go...’ This text links to a version of Once Upon A December that is slowed and reverbed. )

so can anyone guess what this is about BHFHJHDBKDGBJN. Maybe I’ll tell you if you ask nicely ;-)

---

ANGST ON MAIN ANGST ON MAIN

---

Another drawing done in time for December, yahoo!!

So like. The end of the year huh. Honestly? I’m not feeling it. Time just went by in a flash. Another year, another life, another candle held. My exams are starting so...super stress.

I got a routine! So things are better.

It doesn’t really snow here, but all the flies and cockroaches come in LOL

I don’t celebrate any holidays now hmm..

I like winter though. Its my birthday month, and its so delightful to be cozy and have hot food! Plus it has a beautiful sunrise.

I hope you are warm this winter, and the next year brings you joy and blessings inshallah.

[queen-haq]

First of All, i hope your dad is getting better, or at least all the help he needs. And i hope you are ok(ish) as well.

Second. The paaaain, the huuuurt... this chapter.... i needed some time to gather my thoughts (still not really ready...) but woa...

I just... hrghs. I can understand both, reader and billy. And i'm kind of on both sides. But ouch...

But to the chapter!

I would cuddle the heck out of billy. He always seems unaprochable, but with reader he is all touch feeling and marking his territory.

I understand the pull to just go back to the security he offers, he was her save heaven. It would be soooo easy just to slip back... but i understand why she is not doing it. As friend i would even tell her not to. What would then be the difference between her and her mom?

But maybe... it dosn't need to be the difference between her and her mom but the difference between billy and her dad. Do i make sence? In my head it sounds logical...

"Losing you changed me" - "i can't let you hurt me" "i know" 😱😭😰😨😱😭 pure sobbing. This broke my heart into tiny tiny pieces...

The Rest i can't put into words right know (maybe later, i just need to sort it a bit) i'm just... hrgn...

I don't see how you going to get to the happy ending (for them) i just don't know. There is so much broken, so much burned earth...

And reader is so hurt and lashing out. To send those files to karen is really going to burn bridges and fuck up things, for both of them. This will break Frank and billys friendship, curtis trust, anvil... and even if billy is waiting for it, going to suffer through it is different. Woa.

I don't know how you going to manage it, but i'm really exited for the next part of the story.

Take care!

Thank you so much for the kind wishes about my dad. He's in the process of traveling back to Canada and Inshallah will be fine.

And I'm happy you're able to understand and sympathize with both. And I really like what you said about maybe it's not that she's like her mom, but that Billy is different than her dad.

Ultimately this fic is about building trust when someone breaks your heart. How do you do that? It doesn't come easy, the betrayal changes you and scars you, but if the love is worth it How do you get past it?

I guess I see AWS as two broken people falling in love, and AWR as exlovers rebuilding trust.

Thank you for the wonderful feedback. I'm excited about the next chapter as well because it'll be the gala!

[julaibib]

Hello

Nowadays I feel like I'm not a good Muslim and I'm just thinking about leave the Islam for who worth it not me

How I can deal with this problem

Not: I'm depressed girl

Who asked you to be perfect? We all have bad things in one way or another, but can you imagine just because you failed an exam and left education completely / Nobody does this and whoever does this has lost himself, and the most important thing is life, which is a journey of crossing to Jannah and in your journey you will face difficulties and challenges so you must always try to be Better in your deen and whenever you fall try again and Allah will accept you every time as long as you are sincere

You need to take refuge in Allah. Offer salat, sister -- worship him. Make duas -- ask him for guidance, ask him for refuge from what's hurting you. Humble yourself before him and ask him for the willpower to help you hold on. Think about your life since being a Muslima and ask him to shed light on your flaws so you can know them well and correct them, inshallah. Many people are sinning and don't realize it. We all need to be self-aware.