#inserting my little bug freak into it

[catsharkzzz]

MOAR C00LKIDD !!!

look at my weird freak creature thang . my son + a refrence for myself for his pattern/layout of his eczema yuuuppp you know i heard skin condition and went projection mode

[pissfaggit]

you ever find art you don't remember making

[teacupfullofroses27]

I finally got around to drawing my self insert character, Rosie, interacting with the cast!

I think gangle and Rosie would get along the most, since I relate to her the most out of the main cast

Idk enough about Zooble yet to know if this would be the case, but I think Rosie would think that Zooble doesn’t like her. I tend to have a hard time figuring out how people feel about me if they’re not deliberately warm and nice.

I think Rosie would like listening to Kinger’s bug facts. I really like moths :>

Rosie’d get so attached to Ragatha, seeing her as a mother figure essentially.

Y’all Rosie would DESPISE Jax. He’d target her because she’s ✨emotional✨ and a ✨woman✨ Yeah she’d have no patience with him.

I think Rosie’s a little too right brained to be besties with Pomni, but I think they’d get along well :>

I think Caine would freak Rosie out- but at the same time Rosie would try to figure him out like a puzzle. She’s got like 17 different theories.

Anyway- thanks for indulging me if you got this far! This took me way too long

[ihavethedreamies]

Deserted | Hoshi [NSFW]

Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi - Seventeen)

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~5k

Pairing: Hoshi x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Sci-Fi AU!, Reader-Insert, Smut, Some Plot, Hookup/One-Night-Stand/Strangers to Fucking

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Pet Names (Sweet Girl, Baby Girl, etc.), Swearing, Kissing, Oral (M! & F! Receiving), Deepthroating, Unprotected Sex (Use a condom!), Added some piercings for ~flair~

Author's Note: I had my best friend read this the other day and she said it was a little much for her, but still enjoyable and she was sure others would love it.

I am planning on doing something like this for each member, so stay tuned!

-> Series Hub <-

-> Woozi's <-

-> Wonwoo's <-

-> S.Coup's <-

-> Mingyu's <-

Revised (1/30/25)

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! Share, even if its to the other sites! Let me know if you want to be on the taglist!

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me." You groan as your sand-rover grumbles in protest, slowing down before it halts. The engine not only shuts off, but it lets out a giant puff of black smoke. The smell of burning rubber stings your nose and you groan louder, grabbing your bag off the passenger seat. Throwing the door open, you're glad this happened as the sun is setting and not when it was high in the sky. The desert, however, can be very cold at night. A gust of wind blasts against the door, almost slamming it shut on your legs. With a yelp, you swing out your arm to catch the door and sigh when it doesn’t keep going. Unwrapping the thin scarf around your neck, you rewrap it around your head and face to protect you from the blowing sand. Slipping your goggles on over to cover your eyes, you wince when the leather cracks further. Getting another strap will be a pain in the ass. Grabbing the door, you let it slam closed and sling your bag over your shoulder. Walking around the vehicle, you notice that is was hit harder than you anticipated. Since your rover is just that, you have no gun mounted on it, so when the acid-spitting space worm shot out of the ground, you could only flee. The back tire has finally been eaten away enough to go flat and there’s also a hole that leads to the gas tank. Only a bit of the fuel drips out and you know there’s no chance of getting the now wrecked rover anywhere. Climbing up on the other back wheel, you get the hatch in the back open so you can grab your bigger pack. Grunting, you swing it onto your back and cinch the straps tight. Turning back to the last outpost you had been at is a no go. There’s a huge alien monster in the way. You aren’t sure where the next outpost is, so you pull out your old, beaten up holo-tracker. When you turn it on, the holographic screen glitches, so you slam the body of the device against your thigh a few times and then it evens out. Clicking the buttons, one of which keeps getting stuck, you see that the next outpost is miles away. Walking that far will be an absolute drag but at least it’s night.

"Freaking desert planets…" You grumble as if you’ve ever lived on a different one. You grew up on Sierra-Victor-Tango, but after taking a trip to several other human worlds, you learned that your home is…well, a shithole. Everything is old and falling apart. In the cities, crime is rampant, and the smaller outposts and towns are poor. When you told your mother you were going out to scavenge through the desert, she was unsure. Not because she was worried for your safety, but she had no idea what you hoped to find. It’s a sandy wasteland inhabited by weird space bugs and lizards. You’ve never known earth like your grandparents so when you learned Terra animals and bugs look so different, you understood why your grandma was so skeeved out.

Looking back at the wrecked rover, you wonder if it can give you some credits for scrap, but the work to get all the way out to it isn’t worth it. Hiking up your pack again, you set off, holding the scarf to your mouth as a gust of wind blasts you. A little blinking cursor flashes on your holo-tracker indicating where you are as you walk toward the setting sun. Behind you and to the right, the two different moons rise higher and get clearer. Twinkling stars begin to appear and the cold is starting to set in. In the distance, you see a giant rock outcropping and you head for it. It’s off the packed-in road, so you can’t go very fast in the shifting sand.  When you reach the rock, you walk around to the other side, looking for a crack or something you could wedge into for shelter. What you’re not expecting is some kind of shelter erected against the stone. It looks semi-permanent and constructed around some kind of indent in the giant rock.

Creeping closer, you see someone sitting at a fire pit, their back to you. What startles you the most though, is a giant feline-like shape lying next to the fire as well. You’ve never seen one that big and it looks like a tiger from the books your grandmother brought from earth. Instead of orange with black stripes, it’s black with white stripes and has long top fangs. The wind shifts; it’s coming straight behind you instead of at you. The beast lifts its head, beginning to growl. At this, the person turns around and you see it’s a man. He has a scar across the bridge of his nose and his ears are heavily pierced. Another piercing accents his right brow, and he has a long narrow tattoo behind his ear and down his neck. You immediately shoot your arms up in surrender and he motions his tiger to lay down.

"Who are you?" He calls and you dare not step closer.

"Uh…(Y/N), of Morgran Town." You’d never seen someone like him before. He’s incredibly attractive, and his poncho-like cloak hits right at his ribs, and he has nothing on under it. His muscles are toned, and his skin is smooth other than a scar near his hip. Tight leather pants cling to thick thighs and his big boots highlight his long legs. Even his arms are well defined, a belt holding some sort of flask wraps around his right bicep. His eyes are bright yellow, and you don’t know if that can happen naturally, and his hair is white with black tips, reminiscent of his tiger.

"Morgran Town? You’re a long way from home." He replies, motioning with his hand for you to come closer. Finally, out of the shadow of the rock, he can see you in the double moonlight. You feel…tiny. He isn’t super big, not like some you've met, but he isn’t short either.

"Well, I'm a traveler, my rover broke down a few miles back." You finally let your arms down and instead move to grip the straps of your pack.

"Headed to Korvo?"

"Yes."

"Don't."

"What? Why?"

"Two weeks ago, they got hit by slavers, it’s a ghost town." The man motions you closer and toward a stump he’s carved into a seat. Slowly, you walk the long way around, avoiding the cold gaze of the animal. You remove your pack, letting it thump next to your seat, but you don’t take off your other bag; just in case you have to flee. Now that you’re closer, you can tell that some kind of meat is being roasted on the fire.

"It won’t taste too good because I can't really cook, but it’ll be cooked." He flashes a smile, and it takes you off guard. He’s…adorable.

"You'll share?" You look at the roast, your mouth watering. You haven't has fresh meat in months, only dried stuff. You wonder if he makes the kill or his pet.

"Don't worry about Horanghae, he won’t bite unless I let him." He waves at the animal, and you nod, still feeling nervous in its gaze.

"I'm Hoshi." He holds out his hand to shake and you shyly return the gesture, and he sits back down at a long bench.

"You're a traveler? What do you do that for?"

"Oh, uh, I'm mostly looking for old wrecks of likes shuttles and ships and stuff." You shrug. It takes forever to find things like that, but you gained a knack for it, and it gets you a crap ton of money sometimes. While not official, you basically work for the International Assembly as a freelancer, so you do jobs at your leisure.

"That must take a long time." He smiles and you shrug.

"Sometimes. What about you?"

"I'm a Ranger." He holds up a medallion hanging around his neck that has an upside-down triangle-like logo on it. You’ve heard of them before, there aren’t too many of them, it’s hard to get accepted. They travel the desert and work as bounty hunters. That's all people really know about them.

"So, if Korvo is a bust, where should I head next?"

"Hm. There's nowhere close really, not that you can get to easily by foot…I can't leave here for a few days, so you can stay with me till then. I'll give you a lift after." He juts his thumb over to a hover bike that’s resting next to his abode.

"Oh! Thank you. That's very generous." You let out a sigh of relief, you were beginning to wonder what you were going to do. You’re really bad at hunting and have only so much water in your canteen. He tells you about his situation as you wait for the meat to be done. He has a well that’s in the back of his tent, which is half in the rock. He had blown a giant cave into it with a grenade and set up his home. Horanghae hunts for him, and he has a communication relay set up as well to talk with the rest of the Rangers.

"I only have one place to sleep though…" He finishes off his explanation and you wave him off.

"I can sleep on the ground, not the first time I've had to."

"No way. What kind of person would I be if I let my guest sleep on the ground?" He shakes his head. Thanking him, he declares the food done and hacks off a chunk for you. Hoshi spears the meat on a wooden skewer and hands it over. Eagerly eating the food, he watches in amusement at your ravenous behavior and then eats himself.

"Thanks. I can't begin to thank you; I would've been a goner." You shudder at the thought. If you had arrived at Korvo and found it wasted, you might have had a breakdown.

"Don't worry about it!" He takes the rest of the meat off the spit and gives it to the tiger. He leads you inside his hut, even carrying your big pack in for you. It’s nice and cozy inside, beautiful colored Afghans and rugs are laid out everywhere. The front room is like a living room and has a pile of pillows to sit at and even has a fairly nice holo-screen set up. There’s a curtain against the left wall that he tells you leads to the bathroom. The next room is the bedroom essentially and he tells you to go in and make yourself comfortable, he’ll sleep in the front room. Thanking him again you scurry into the back. That's where he has his communication equipment set up, and there’s an actual bed in there! Under all the blankets and pelts, there’s not just a sack of straw or even a crate; it’s an actual mattress. You haven't slept on one in almost a year. Taking your boots off, you jump on and groan at the comfort. Pulling the softest Afghan over you, you drift off quickly and sleep better than you had in a while.

A soft beeping stirs you from your sleep. Glancing at your watch, you see it’s almost sunrise and so you sit up, stretching with a groan. The beeping is coming from the monitor he’s set up. Not wanting to invade his privacy, you get up to go into the other room and inform him. He’s still asleep, spread out across the floor and pillows. His tiger must be outside. It would have been cute to see him sleep like that if it wasn’t for the fact his torso is now completely uncovered and only his lower half is covered by the blanket. Not just that, but his tight pants are thrown over a chair in the corner, and the blanket is tented in a very obvious way. The realization makes you squeak in embarrassment, and you flee back into the other room. While you haven’t been with too many guys before, you know for sure what he’s hiding under there. The soft beeping continues from the monitor, and you wonder what you should do. If he goes in there to check on it, he might not realize he has a…problem. Living alone probably allows him some freedom, but you’re here, and you aren’t sure he’ll think of that.

Dashing from the back room into the bathroom, you realize how bad you have to go. Once that’s done, you realize in shock that the plumbing is…actually plumping. Kind of. It’s one of those high-tech situations that vaporizes the waste into nothingness. The sink actually gives you water and it seems so will the shower. As you’re still in there, staring at your face in the mirror, you keep thinking of how to wake him. All of a sudden, the beeping gets loud enough for you to hear in the other room and when you peak your head out, you see he’s stirring. That solves that problem. Peering through the curtain, you watch him get up and your jaw drops as the blanket falls. Luckily, he’s at least wearing undergarments, but they’re tight and hide very little. He’s very nicely defined, his muscles aren’t huge, but he still looks extremely good. His hair is messy, and you’re enraptured watching him stretch. He trudges into the back room, scratching his chest and seemingly ignoring his morning problem. You hear a ding, and he speaks to whoever’s on the other line. His voice is rough from sleeping and you know you’re in danger. How is it that you managed to find such a gorgeous man out in the middle of the desert? Another voice responds to him, but you can’t pick out any specific words and soon their conversation is over, and you jump back into the bathroom and away from the curtain.

"(Y/N)? You in there?" He’s standing right on the other side, and you swallow before answering in the positive.

"I, uh, need in there, but…" You know why he’s hesitating and for some reason, some stupid little voice in the back of your conscience screams loud enough for it to come out of your mouth.

"I can help you with that." You blurt and gape at yourself in the mirror. He doesn’t say anything, and you kick yourself. Why, why did you say that? Before you can say anything else, the curtain pulls back, and you see him behind you in the reflection of the mirror. His look is much different than the night before. His yellow eyes that shined with laughter have turned sharp. It makes you shudder as you make eye contact with him indirectly through the mirror.

"I-I mean, I don't know how to thank you for helping me…So, I uh, can help with whatever." You’re glad the mirror don’t goes too low, otherwise you’d definitely be staring. You can see him slowly, look you up and down and you freeze under his gaze. It’s like what the tiger did to you last night, but ten times worse. You feel like a deer about to be eaten, and it turns you on to no end. Wandering around the desert for a living doesn't exactly afford many opportunities for romantic or sexual escapades. You figure the case is probably pretty true for him as well, if not more. You realize you’ve shed your shirt in the night; you’re just standing in the wrap-around you use as a bra and your leggings. Because of the heat of the desert and the tightness of said leggings, you usually go commando, and you wonder if you’re wet enough for it to soak through the fabric.

As he steps into the small space, he lets the curtain fall behind him but don’t step completely through the entryway.

"Are you sure?" He stares you in the eye, once again through the mirror, you do not yet have the courage to turn around. While you want to say you’re joking, that it’s just an impulse to tease, you can’t. Seeing him to begin with was enough, let alone in his current state...

"Are you sure?" You shoot back. You think yourself rather plain with no distinctive features. Your freckled skin from years of sun exposure is highlighted strangely by the tan line that formed around your goggles. You’re covered in dirt too because of wandering out in the blowing sand. His poor bed is probably covered in sand too. Not easy to find somewhere with running water, let alone hot water, your hair is pulled back into a braid but isn’t exactly clean. You’re glad that body odor had been genetically eradicated decades ago. Plus, compared to him, you’re painfully average.

When he don’t verbally respond, you grow even more nervous, but he steps in further till he’s standing a few steps behind you. He peers at the mirror from behind, and he’s nearly a head taller than you. His stare is even more intense now and you shiver. Taking a deep breath, you finally work up the courage to turn around, and he’s immediately on you. His kiss is searing, and you immediately groan. Nothing about it is gentle, it does truly feel like he’s trying to eat you. He bites your bottom lip, and you moan, his tongue quickly flicking against your own. Something cold and round hits your teeth and you realize his tongue is pierced. Oh Lord. Hoshi's hand comes to rest around your throat, under your jaw, but in no way harsh or tight. This way, he can angle your head just right. Your neck protests some and so you prop up on your tip toes, tipping your head and allowing the kiss to deepen further. His second arm wraps around you, almost encircling you while his hand grips your ass. The hand on your jaw moves to the back of your head and you wrap your smaller hands over his biceps. Pulling back for air, his fingers bury further in your hair and yanks your head back so he can kiss down the column of your throat. You moan as you feel his teeth bury slightly into the flesh, then he sucks hard, definitely leaving a mark. As he presses you so close to him, you can feel his covered hard-on against your bare stomach. Your head swims as he sucks on your earlobe and his hand leaves your head to wrap around your back.

"Jump." He orders and you follow, his mouth landing on yours again as he leaves the bathroom. The man easily carries you and brings you to the bedroom, "Put me down a sec." You tell him. Hoshi raises his eyebrow in question but does so. You immediately sink to your knees, and he groans before you even touch him.

"You sure?" He asks.

"If I goes to do something, I'm sure." You tell him, implying for him to stop asking. He nods and you nervously but quickly reach for the waistband of his only item of clothing. Exhaling, you remove the garment and gape as he steps out of it. Swallowing a build-up of saliva, you no longer have to imagine. What shocks you the most however is the two metal spheres adorning the head of his cock. A full reverse prince albert. That’s…the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

"Good?"

"Yes." You clear your throat, wiggling your jaw a bit then reach for him, swirling your tongue around the head, the metal imbedded there surprisingly is just as warm as his skin. He swears as you begin to descend. Your jaw protests some, but in the best possible way. You see his eyes widen in shock then narrow as he moans, your nose reaching his pelvis. Swallowing around him - the piercing is an odd sensation- you pull back as little as possible so you could still breathe. Once you find the proper depth, you pull off him and give him a look, spreading your legs more and placing your hands on the floor.

"(Y/N)?" He asks and you simply opens your mouth wide, tongue out.

"Fuck." He practically growls and he adjusts your jaw by the chin and then he slides in. Keeping your teeth covered is a little difficult with his girth, but you manage. You can focus on that while he does all the movement. He’s notices what you’re doing and makes sure not to go too deep but every so often so you can still breathe. Your gag reflex is pretty much gone at that point for several different reasons, but with his size (and the piercing) you let out a small gag every once and a while. Hoshi's hands dig into your hair as he uses your mouth, very quiet but high-pitched moans flowing out. Feeling him twitch, you know he’s close, and he almost pulls out. While part of him wants to see your face covered, he much prefers it when you grab the back of his thighs and bury him completely in your throat.

"Oh, fuck." He groans, throwing his head back as he cums. You moan at the feeling yourself and the vibration rolls his eyes back. When he’s done, you swallow to make sure everything goes down and he pulls out fully, still half-hard. Licking your lips sensually, he huffs and reaches down to lift you up under your arms. You yelp at the ease to which he does this, and he literally tosses you onto the bed. Grabbing the fastener of your breast band, he roughly pulls it open and off, the motion flipping you over onto your stomach. He’s manhandling you with such ease. Hoshi moves your braid out of the way and starts to lay seething kisses along your spine and over your shoulders. His hand comes under you and runs down your stomach till the tips of his fingers reach the waistband of your leggings. He pulls your waist up, his now fully hard cock wedged between the cleft of your ass. You’re definitely leaking through the fabric. Placing a final kiss on your shoulder, his hand hooks into your bottoms, and he tugs hard. You flip over once again and as Hoshi drags the last of your clothes off, he also tugs you to the foot of the bed. Before you can get your bearings, his hands grip your thighs - tight- and presses your legs open. You know you’ll have bruises there in the morning and his hot breath on your core makes your hips seize.

"W-wait-!" You gasp as his tongue licks a hot stripe up to your clit. You’ve never had this done before, just never really cared to. It’s something new for sure and it’s almost too much. The slight cold of the ball piercing his tongue makes you flinch. You can feel his lips curl into a smirk against you at this and catch him looking up at you. The sight is overwhelming, and he sucks hard on your clit, you head slamming back into the bed.

"You taste amazing." He groans against your skin. His hands move from your thighs, and he wraps his arms around your legs and buries in deeper. The holds he’s on you prevents almost all movement and your upper body squirms to compensate. Hoshi's tongue seems like it shouldn't be as long as it is, nor as strong. The piercing brushes right against your entrance and hits your clit over and over. He’s like a man starved, dehydrated, and he’s sucking your soul out.

"Ah!" You almost scream when he comes back to your clit and your orgasm hits you, hard. It’s stronger than you’ve ever experienced and lasts much longer. He groans against you, his continued tongue movements dragging it out. When it finally calms down, he pulls away as the overstimulation begins to sting. The man lets you catch your breath and when you’re able to open your eyes to look at him and he’s drenched.

"Oh my god!" You gasp and he just laughs, wiping his mouth and sucking everything else off his hand and fingers.

"You ever squirted before?" He asks and you shake your head, mortified.

"It’s okay, pretty girl, that was sexy." His smile is too cute for what he just did to you.

"You need a minute?" He asks and you rest back again with a nod. Delicately, instead of what he was doing before, he picks you up and shifts you higher up the bed. His lips come back to yours, gentle at first and growing heated again. There’s something about his kisses; they alone make your head swim. Is it him or his skill? The tongue piercing? Who knows? As he feels your body become less tense, his arms wrap around you and tilt your hips up so he can grind against you. You’re still somewhat sensitive so even just the slight friction is so good. Already knowing this from when he was straining your jaw, you know that his cock’s going to stretch you so good. The sting will be so worth it. It’s been a long time since anyone filled you up and no one ever has as much as you know Hoshi is going to.

"You ready, princess?" He finally lets your tongue go and you can’t form a thought to make words, so you nod. He smirks and the head pokes at your entrance. As he eases in, the sting is more intense than you though it would be, but so, so good. The stretch isn’t the only thing that takes your breath away. That gosh darn piercing perfectly hits your clit and rubs against your walls as eases in. At least he’s self-aware of his size because he goes slow, but knows he isn’t hurting you. Your hard exhales are tinged with a moan, nearly imperceptible. He’s big, you know part of it’s because you’re quite small, but his cock is impressive on its own.

"So tight." He grunts, grinding into you and your clit throbs.

"J-just give me a sec." You grip his shoulders, breathing through the delicious stretch. It feels incredible despite the slight pain. After you sit for a bit, he shifts some and then moves slowly, hiking your leg up over his elbow and he goes even deeper.

"Fuck!" You moan, your head tossed back, and you almost cum again right then.

"You okay?" He chuckles some, he can tell by how you clench that it feels good, not that it hurt. That fucking piercing brushes right against your sweet spot. Hoshi has already ruined you for any other man, and hasn’t even moved yet.

"Ready?" he asks, massaging your hip. You nod and the hand on your hip tightens its grip, and his arm hikes your leg up higher. He barely pulls out, maybe an inch, then his hips snap, and you cum.

"Ohgodohgodohgod." He grunts as you walls clench him tight and he’s growing smug at the pleasure he’s wreaking on you. In truth though, he’s trying really hard not to cum already himself. He knows he’ll have some time before he can again given he’s already came, but it has been a while. However, every other time he’s waited this long, he can go for many, many rounds. If he could, he’d keep you in his bed and in his hold for the rest of the day. He wants to make it so you can’t walk by the time he can bring you to the outpost. Honestly, he wants to make it so you never want to leave. When your orgasm dies down, he waits a bit longer, you lay limp in his arms.

"You're gonna have to do all the work now." You tell him with a tired giggle, likes he wasn’t already doing that. He smirks, notching your other leg up over his arm, then proceeds to fold your legs up to your chest. He presses your thighs down with his hands, forming more bruises and you prepare yourself. His next thrust is almost hard enough (it seems) to dislodge a kidney. It knocks the wind out of you and your sensitive skin burns. You’re in for a ride. His thrusts are not even as hard as they can be, you know. Hoshi only pulls his cock halfway out before he buries as deep as he can go. After every thrust, he grinds down into your clit, the metal ball inside rubbing your g-spot. Your moans are getting harder to contain, you almost want to scream. Drool pools out of the sides of your mouth; your entire body is on fire.

"Don't hold back, baby girl, let me hear you." He grunts out, his thrusts slowing but no less deep. Finally getting permission to be loud, you whine, and he unfolds you and leads you to wrap your legs around his waist. Up on his knees, he positions you to rest your lower back on his thighs and he rolls his hips to snap his cock into you over and over. The new position let that stupid piece of metal scrape perfectly against your walls, the head of his dick probably bruising your cervix. You’re ruined, no thoughts in your head. You’re letting out slurring moans of his name and pleas for…you aren’t even sure at this point. He’s fucked you stupid.

"(Y/N), pretty girl, where can I cum?" His thrusts have gotten more erratic, he isn’t able to hold back anymore.

"I-inside." You moan, able to form a complete thought.

"Yeah?"

"Please~!" You cry out and this sends him over the edge. Getting as deep as he can, he swallows your moan, sliding his tongue back in your mouth, painting your insides white. The hot sensation gives you another orgasm, not nearly as strong though, and it’s a relief. As the spurts of cum stop, he pulls away from your mouth and he chuckles at the fucked-out look you have.

"I'll let you rest, sweet, but then I'm going to fill you up again."

-> Series Hub <-

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Seventeen Master List

Taglist: @gaslysainz

[desceros]

i saw on your queue list that you’re wanting to do a papatello au!!! wondering if you would spare some headcanons????

ps your writing is great!!

[with heavy sarcasm] oh no, not someone asking me to discuss one of my favorite fic ideas, the absolute horror

after a terribly unfortunate incident (donnie learns he has a breeding kink and doesn't check to see if the two of you are biologically compatible before enjoying it, thoroughly, over a long period of time) it is discovered that you are pregnant. oops

after a days-long conversation where he freaks out because he's terrified about your safety when he runs some tests and the fetus is very much going to be a turtle with a shell inside of you, the two of you decide to... try. to try and keep it. it feels a bit like a miracle, after all, though he's very very careful to monitor the entire time. and well he should, as it's a difficult pregnancy; they actually end up taking her out a little early and putting her in an egg-like incubator for the last month or so when he starts getting concerned about some pain you're having.

the two of you name her lavinia, after splinter's naming conventions. but very quickly, mikey shortens that to lavi. she's very much a softshell turtle mutant, but she has your smile and (as she grows older) black hair just like papa splinter from having more human DNA.

lavi is the actual poster child of being a daddy's girl. from birth, she favors him for almost everything: being held, being fed, being bathed; if donnie's not doing it or close, she's fussy.

donnie is the actual poster child of being the world's most obnoxious father in the entire world. he's that guy who will insert his kid into every conversation, bending or even snapping its relevance to shoehorn her in. he has pictures upon pictures. videos of lavi doing absolutely nothing except being cute.

and she is so fucking cute. but she's also a bit of a demon, just like her father. wicked smart and always getting into trouble. worse still, if she gets caught, she just looks at donnie with big eyes like 🥺 and it's over. she's not getting in trouble.

lavi also really loves her uncle raph, and she has taken to stealing his catch phrases because she thinks they're funny. you have a video on your phone of her running agilely away from donnie with something very fragile and important, giggling and yelling 'stealing LIKE A BOSS' as donnie chases her, teeth clenched and hands outstretched, going 'lavi, dearest, sweetest little bug whomst i love endlessly and forever, please give that back to papa Right. Now.'

her favorite uncle tho is probably uncle leo. he has cool comic books and watches fun tv shows. she likes to climb onto his shell and curl up to take a nap. a picture of leo crying the first time she did that remains your contact photo for him for a long, long time.

this whole au is just an excuse for me to dump cute headcanons about donnie being the best dad in the world and no one has stopped me yet, so. yeehaw

[whollyjoly]

okay with that first promo i am ON the murder hornet theory for s8 so hard

here me out:

the thing with murder hornets are that the stings are SUPER painful, and getting multiple stings could potentially be lethal even if you aren't allergic

(also apparently, there's some reports of them being able to spray their venom?? in people's eyes??? what the actual FUCK)

anyways, thinking about one of the 118 being allergic to bee stings, and gerard ordering them to go out on a call anyways. gerard doing the whole "it's just a bee sting, don't be such a wimp" (or, more likely, insert some derogatory statement) thing

like i could just SEE him refusing to take it seriously and endangering the team!! especially if one of them got stung, even if whoever it is isnt allergic, i feel like he would refuse to let them go to the hospital, going on about how "this is all a bunch of nonsense, they're just a bunch of bugs what are they going to do?" or even "afraid of a little sting? if you cant handle that, maybe you can't handle being a firefighter"

(bonus points if someone makes a "sure, you know all about little pricks joke", cause i would lose my goddamn shit)

im not convinced gerard is only going to be there for the opening emergency - i have a feeling he'll be around til the mid season finale at least - BUT it still could be a great way to show his blatant reckless endangerment for the 118

...also can you imagine the shenanigans of them freaking out if a single bee made it into the station?? it'd be maurice the chicken and the alpaca on hollywood boulevard all over again 🤣🤣

plus, we could see more of them in their bee outfits from 6x08!!! why are they so adorable!!!!

anyways, apparently im ✨manifesting✨ murder hornets for s8 2k24??? lets go!!!!!!

[crybabypupper]

Disney's Tarzan Agere Headcanons:

- Tarzan would definitely be a baby regressor imo, since he lost his parents at that age, and wasn't accepted by the troop his adoptive mother belonged to. He probably regresses partially due to trauma.

- His regression would be completely involuntary, and on many occasions he will start to panic and try to hide the fact that he's regressing.

- It's pretty much impossible to convince him to wear clothes, although he has reluctantly agreed to wear adult diapers while he's regressed, and pullups to bed. The poor guy has a lot of nightmares, and the pullups help keep the bed dry.

- He will insist on sleeping in his cg's bed, and really likes cuddles. He will lay right on top of his cg or spoon them.

- He probably has a bunch of stuffed animals, as well as a few sensory baby books about animals. In regards to toys, he would probably play with blocks and those little bug stuffies.

- Even in littlespace, he loves playfighting, especially with his cg. He gets a little too rough sometimes, and then gets upset about it. He ends up needing to be comforted afterwards.

- Do NOT show him anything related to leopards, or else he will get very scared and start crying. The subject of them is a bit of a trigger for him...

- He still sleeps with his old baby blanket. When his cg had first tried to wash it, he got very fussy and cried quite a bit. It did get washed, though, and now he doesn't really freak out whenever it needs to get washed again.

- He's not a big fan of naps, but is still willing to take them without putting up much of a fight.

- He still sounds and talks like an adult, even while regressed. However, he does become more clingy and physically affectionate.

- Bathing him is a difficult task, since he's not used to using soap while bathing. He tried to eat some of the foamy soap the first time... That did not go well for him.

- He gets pretty nervous during diaper changes, and will fuss quite a bit. He figured out pretty quickly that it's not considered "normal" for an adult to still wear diapers sometimes. He just needs a bit of reassurance, and eventually he will calm down.

Btw if y'all are wondering why I didn't specify a cg, it's because I wanted y'all to be able to insert a character you like into these scenarios. I also keep imagining the adult version of my persona being his cg, for reasons that are probably pretty obvious by now. 😅

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 1: A Fiñata Full of Death Bugs

~The Man Cave~

So, the secret was out. Jasper knew about Henry being Kid Danger and reluctantly, Ray had agreed to take the kid under his wing as yet another helper in his store and secret hideout. Honestly, he needed to stop taking children into his employment, the place was starting to be so crowded. 

It also didn't help that Jasper was the latest addition. He was a sweet boy, who'd never hurt a fly, but he was clumsy, a blabbermouth and let's face it, a bit annoying and weird at times. Henry wasn't worried and neither was (y/n), they knew he'd be fine, a little excitable at first, but fine. However, the same couldn't be said for Ray, who was frantically pacing a groove into the Man Cave's floor the next morning.

"I don't know about this, man, I dunno." He panicked, making Henry and (y/n) roll their eyes at him as they watched him from the couch. The young woman was still in her pyjamas, having wanted to stay comfy for the first part of Saturday and was happily munching her cereal as Ray worked himself up over the Jasper predicament.

"Come on, it's gonna be great," Henry told him, not seeing what the big deal was.

"Yeah, everything's gonna be fine." (y/n) shrugged, seeing that Ray was in one of his drama-queen fits again. If he got out of hand, she'd be the one to say some soothing words and cuddle him until he smiled again, but for now, it was best to just ride the wave.

"Oh, that's exactly what you said when you talked me into eating one of those women's energy bars. Then I couldn't stop reading books about princesses!" The large man pouted, not liking how Henry and (y/n) smirked at the memory. It was pretty funny to see such a muscly guy reading about Princess Sugarplum and her rainbow unicorn magic land. 

"Dude, I've known Jasper my whole life." The boy told him, but it didn't calm his boss down.

"That does not mean he's qualified to have a job here!" Ray pointed out, thinking that you needed special skills and references or some shit to work for him. 

"Ray, you hired me when I was twenty. I didn't exactly have qualifications, apart from my degree. Literally, no life experience." (y/n) gave him her annoyed face and he backed off. He hated and loved when she was right.

"Dah!" He groaned, not liking how his morning was going. Maybe Charlotte's enthusiasm could cheer him up. 

"Happy Saturday morning!" She smiled at her friends after coming down the tube with a grin on her face. Well, she was certainly full of beans.

"Yo." Henry returned her smile, glad to see that Ray was the only one freaking out about having Jasper around now. 

"Hey, Char." (y/n) greeted warmly as she scooped the last of her cereal from the milk in her bowl. She'd have to get dressed soon, but she could wait a little longer.

"Maybe you're happy," Ray grumbled, walking past the young girl to lean on the couch with his back turned on his friends. He was such a child sometimes.

"Char, will you tell Ray that Jasper working at Junk-N-Stuff isn't gonna be a problem?" Henry asked his friend, who usually was another voice of reason around the Man. Cave, but it seemed like she was sceptical of Jasper's abilities to stay calm and collected too.

"I can't tell lies before breakfast." She shrugged and sauntered over to the auto-snacker so she could get some food. Ray was glad that someone was seeing sense, but Henry was about to ruin his mood again.

"Here ya go." The boy said and held out a candy bar for Ray to eat.

"What's this?" He asked, reading the scientific nonsense printed on the packaging. Something about protein or micronutrients and he was so busy deciphering the mumbo-jumbo, he didn't see (y/n) snickering as she slurped the honeyed milk left from her breakfast. 

"Lady bar." Henry deadpanned and milk erupted from (y/n)'s mouth as Ray shrieked and threw it away in terror. He looked at her with an expression of playful betrayal as she dabbed the milk away from around her mouth and shared a smirk with Henry. She was so beautiful like this; no makeup, no one to please, just her as natural as she could be, laughing and joking around with his beloved sidekick. It managed to melt some of his apprehension away as he admired the delightfully innocent scene.

"Scrambled eggs," Charlotte instructed the auto-snacker, wanting to get some food into her growling belly.

"Ew, I can't believe you like those." (y/n) grumbled to the girl as she overheard her order. She much preferred her cereal to start her day, probably because it didn't smell gross like scrambled eggs.

"Oh, he's here." Henry's announcement drew everyone's focus away from Charlotte's eggs for a moment and they all looked at the supercomputer. The monitor showed that Jasper was waiting outside Junk-N-Stuff's door and Ray groaned loudly. As (y/n) snuggled into his side last night (insomnia had put her there, would you believe it), he had been praying for Jasper to suddenly change his mind or magically forget about Henry being his sidekick, but his wishes hadn't come true. 

"Hey, what's up?" Henry pressed the button that connected the computer's microphone to the speaker outside the store and Jasper smiled brightly. Ray frowned at the sight of the boy and (y/n) came over from her cosy spot on the couch to see what all the fuss was about. 

"Hey! Jasper Dunlop, here to see Captain Man and Kid Danger!" Jasper saluted his new boss, who blanched at his loud tone and quickly cut the link before the whole neighbourhood heard his yapping.

"Shhhhh!" Henry tried to quieten him down, but it was too late; Ray's feathers were ruffled.

"Did ya hear that? He's gonna blab all our secrets to the whole world!" He squeaked at Henry and (y/n), both of whom had to admit that Jasper had messed up there, but he'd only been at work for three seconds, they had to give him a chance.

"No, not after we show him our video," Henry said calmly, taking (y/n)'s advice that to deal with an overreacting Ray, you had to be the calm one. Henry didn't have her feminine qualities to help him win over Ray, but he could definitely be cool-headed.

"It's probably just first day nerves and excitement coming through. Give him a chance, Raymond." (y/n) stepped forward and loving rubbed her palms against his chest in a soothing manner, which was her special technique to get him to let go of his anger. It had taken a few years to suss out, but it was a good method and one that Ray enjoyed more than he let on.

"Fine. Just get him down here, get him down here." Ray caved and sent Henry off to collect Jasper from the store so he could show him the way into the Man Cave. 

"Hey, I think something's wrong with the auto-snacker," Charlotte commented to the adults as Henry disappeared into the elevator. 

"Oh, god, not again. What's the problem?" (y/n) asked as Ray grumbled. More problems? Typical, like his day could get any worse. 

"I ordered scrambled eggs and I'm still standin' here, eggless," Charlotte told her, but Ray wasn't up for solving anyone else's issues, just his own.

"Well, I'm stressed out! I need my wireless headphones." He replied and turned around to grab them so he could block out the world and all the annoying teenage boys it brought into his home.

"What about the...scrambled eggs! Eggs-o-day scramble-dee-oh-so!" Charlotte gave up trying to get help from Ray and thumped the machine for her food. Geez, she was starving and she just wanted one plate of eggs. Was that too much to ask?

"Mashed potatoes." The automated voice returned, making Charlotte frown.

"What did I say that sounded anything like mashed potatoes? (y/n), help meeee!" She whined and turned to the young woman for assistance. She knew about electronics and circuit board stuff, maybe she could get her some eggs.

"Ray, can you come help---ah!" She was taken by surprise as her best friend grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a bone-crushing embrace. She fell into his crossed-legged lap and instinctively snuggled against him as he caged her in and refused to let go.

"I'm sorry, I need to listen to my meditation music and hug my best friend and calm down my inner parts." Ray panted in hyperventilation and swiftly shoved his headphones over his ears and held (y/n) to his chest. 

"Aw, poor baby." (y/n)'s bottom lip quivered at how worried he looked and immediately set about doing everything she could to soothe his nerves. She had no idea he was this stressed and she stroked small patterns onto his skin with her pointer finger. He felt his anxiety smooth out as he let the soft music and the sensation of having the essence of his girl carry him off to his happy place.

"Ugh, useless...Ooh, here we go. " Charlotte groaned when she saw them shut out the world just so they could get some cuddle time in. No matter, she could figure this out herself and things were going well as the snack machine's hatch opened.

"Sweet girl, oh my god, I'm freaking out," Ray mumbled in a chanting voice as he pressed his lips to her head, hoping the fruity, familiar scent of her shampoo would ground him.

"Just relax, I'm here." She whispered and brushed her hand over his eyes so they would flutter shut. She just needed him to stay calm, so she ran her fingers through his floppy brown hair in an attempt to do so.

"All right, where are my scrambled eggs?" Charlotte pondered and foolishly stuck her head in the machine to see if she could yank them out. As expected, it didn't go to plan.

"Om--maha is not the capital of Nebraska." Ray carried on chanting, silently loving the way his girl was fawning over him. He always had her to help him through the bad times and now, his spine was tingling from the way fingers ignited his skin and her warm breath tingled against his neck.

"Get me out of here!" Neither of them saw how Charlotte had been sucked into the auto-snacker as her screams for help were drowned out by Ray's music and (y/n) had dozed off when the warmth of Ray's body seeped through her thin pyjamas and lulled her to sleep. 

"Ommm...Masaki is when you let your sushi chef choose your sushi for you." Ray continued to say random facts to himself as he cradled the young woman in his arms and the sound of his voice blocked out Charlotte's shouting. He was more than happy to let her sleep in his arms and to see her peaceful face was the most soothing thing she could've given him.

~Meanwhile, in Junk-N-Stuff~

Henry had welcomed Jasper into the store and the boy was full of enthusiasm for his first day working as Captain Man's secret assistant. This was his dream come true and he was adamant that he was gonna make a good start. 

"Why are you wearing a tie?" Henry asked as he noticed Jasper's unusually formal outfit. All he would be doing was serving customers in a junk store, he didn't need to look so fancy.

"Oh, 'cause it's my first day at work and I wanna make a good impression." The curly-haired boy explained, but Henry knew that he didn't need to put in so much effort. Ray was a stickler for formality, in fact, he kinda loved being goofy.

"Take off the tie," Henry instructed him and Jasper stroked the material sadly. He thought it looked rather dashing. Still, he followed after Henry and the two friends walked into the back together so they could take the elevator.

"Whoa, the back room." Jasper gasped at the unfamiliar territory, even though it wasn't that cool. It was just another front full of junk that kept the real wonder down below a secret.

"Uh-huh." Henry just nodded and stepped into the elevator, wanting to see the real surprise on Jasper's face when he saw the Man Cave.

"Now, uh...don't get scared." He warned him as he pressed the button. Everyone's first trip in that damn elevator was hell and it was certain that it would leave Jasper shaken.

"Dude, this ain't my first elevator ride." He shrugged, thinking that it couldn't be that bad. Oh, how wrong he was. As soon as the bottom was released from Henry's finger, the elevator dropped, making Jasper scream in terror as he felt his body go weightless. Henry, on the other hand, was perfectly cool and collected as he had had nearly two years to get used to the roughness of the trip down. They landed with a bump and the door slid open to reveal that Jasper was clutching Henry's leg for dear life. 

"Oh." He realised that his brush with death was over and he quickly got to his feet before anyone else saw how scared he had been.

"Okay, I got him," Henry told Ray, who had gotten over his anxiety enough to release (y/n) from his arms and let her go get dressed. He was waiting for her to get back and in the meantime, was bringing the floating TV down from the ceiling. 

"Hey, boss!" Jasper smiled brightly, feeling so proud that he was standing in the actual, real-life Man Cave and was reporting for duty to the Captain Man. 

"Good morning, Jasper," Ray replied in a strained voice. God, his cheeriness was annoying. 

"Guess what I'm wearing." The boy said happily, not realising that he was grinding down Ray's gears.

"A goofy tie?" The large man guessed, praying that his girl would hurry up and talk to the kid so he didn't have to. She was so much better at being nice to everyone than he was and it was probably why they fit so well together.

"No, what I'm wearing down here." Jasper pointed to his pants and everyone could guess what he was referring to.

"Okay." Henry cringed, wishing that Jasper could have said anything but that, especially to Ray and on his first day.

"Son, I uh...don't wanna know--" Ray tried to say that he didn't want to see anything like that from Jasper, but it was too late.

"Captain Manderpants!" Oh god. The sight of Jasper's underwear was too much for Ray and the knowledge that the kid was walking around with his face in his...made it even worse. 

"Henry?" He squeaked at his sidekick and now, he was thankful that (y/n) was still getting dressed. This wasn't something a sweet, innocent lady needed to see.

"Put your underwear back in your pants, you're making him uncomfortable." Henry hissed at Jasper in a mortified tone and he quickly rearranged his clothing as Ray pretended to text. Jesus, someone needed to break the tension and that someone was on hand to do it.

"Hey! Oh...hello, Jasper, nice to see you survived the elevator ride." A fully-dressed (y/n) smiled as she descended the stairs from the sprocket and gave her new friend a warm and inviting smile. If anyone could make him feel welcome, it was her.

"Yeah, thank you, Miss Danger," Jasper replied politely, not wanting to upset anyone else. 

"Oh, (y/n)'s fine, you don't have to be so fancy with me. And might I add that you're wearing a devastatingly handsome tie." She joked when she saw the hotdog pattern and her friendliness put the teen at ease. Her mere presence took the edge off the awkwardness for Ray too.

"Uh, where'd Charlotte go?" Henry asked suddenly, looking around for his other friend who had mysteriously disappeared.

"I dunno, probably somewhere." Ray shrugged, still feeling a little off at having a new, unwanted face in his Man Cave. 

"She was around here earlier, maybe she went to the bathroom." (y/n) offered, making sure to keep her manner pleasant since Ray was being so moody around Jasper. She didn't think the boy was so bad, sure, he was a bit silly and odd, but she was certain that he'd grow to be a valuable member of their team. Little did anyone know that poor Charlotte was still kicking and screaming inside the auto-snacker.

"Now, Jasper..." Ray started, but Jasper's exuberance got the better of him.

"Yes, Captain?!" He asked excitedly and gave a salute, which really pissed off Ray.

"First, never do that." The large man told him harshly, making the boy immediately drop his arm. Geez, Ray could be scary when he wanted to be.

"I don't know, I still kind of like the saluting." (y/n) commented, not afraid of Ray and his temper. Well, she was a bit, but she wouldn't let his childish anger walk all over her.

"Secondly, if you're gonna work upstairs in Junk-N-Stuff, the most important thing to remember is to never reveal my identity or Henry's or (y/n)'s," Ray stated firmly, brushing over (y/n)'s silly comment. To see her so formal around him would be too unnatural for him, even if it was a joke and he just wanted her to be herself around him.

"I get it," Jasper confirmed, understanding that secrecy was their survival. He would never let his friends get hurt and he knew that Captain Man could count on him to keep his identity safe.

"You will get it," Ray replied huskily, confusing the woman and teen on either side of him. 

"Just show him the damn video." (y/n) rolled her eyes at his dramatics and Ray pressed the play button on his remote.

"Never tell the secret. Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger. If you are watching this video, that means you know their true, secret identities, Ray Manchester, Henry Hart and (y/n) (y/l/n)." The video started and showed a photo of Ray and Henry smiling together as the large man held a beaming (y/n) in his arms. It was cute and one of their best ones together as a crime-fighting trio.

"I love that pic of us," Ray smirked at Henry, knowing that he and his sidekick looked awesome.

"Yeah, we look good." Henry nodded, thinking the same, although he was certain that he'd never drool over (y/n) the way Ray was now.

"Big-heads." The young woman shook her head at their huge egos and didn't see the way Ray was admiring her features on the screen, nor did she see how he took the time to gaze at her in real life. A goddess amongst mere mortals. 

"Help!" Charlotte yelled from inside the auto-snacker, but they were all too focused on the video, so her shouting fell on deaf ears. 

"Revealing the secret could have terrible consequences. Such as tragedy, the end of the earth as we know it and loss of bladder control. And now a personal warning to you from Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger." It was a crappy video and a bit too dramatic, but it got the message across, even if (y/n) hated seeing herself onscreen.

"Never reveal the secret. Or this could happen to you. Or worse, punk!" The three superheroes said in turn, trying to sound cool, but Henry's outstretched hand covered his face and when Ray tried to move it, it broke the cool façade.

"Hey, friend, guess what? Captain Man is really Ray Manchester and his best friend, (y/n) (y/l/n), she's Miss Danger. And Kid Danger, he's a boy named Henry Hart. Ain't that a juicy secret?" Yeah, it was a weird video. Anything that includes a talking and giggling watermelon, is weird.

"Don't do it." The video ended with Henry, Ray and (y/n) frowning at the camera as they shook their heads and fingers solemnly. If that didn't get the message into Jasper's head, nothing would.

"Any questions?" Henry asked his best friend, who, being an odd boy, had a peculiar one.

"How'd you get that watermelon to talk?" He gasped in amazement, making Ray look at Henry with a pissed off face. This was what Henry wanted to bring into his Man Cave? God help him.

"We have them specially trained." (y/n) replied sarcastically and was surprised when Jasper took her words literally. She could already guess what it was going to be like working with him.

"Help! Help me!" Charlotte yelled from the auto-snacker, where she had managed to get her hand out of the hand.

"What was---Charlotte!" Henry exclaimed when he saw her hand clawing for freedom. The four of them ran over to the machine, but they had no idea how to get her out.

"I'm uncomfortable!" The girl shouted. It was dark and extremely warm in the auto-snack and not somewhere you wanted to stick your whole body into.

"Help me get her out of here!" Henry told Ray and the large man tried to use his superior muscle to prise open the door.

"Charlotte, sweetie, you're not meant to get into the machine just for some eggs!" (y/n) shouted back to the girl, who wasn't up for taking any criticism at that moment. Suddenly, the alarm blared in the Man Cave and the surprise of it made Henry and Ray let go of Charlotte's free arm. Well, that was all her progress undone.

"Uh-oh." Ray aid as he heard it and (y/n) was the first to rush to the computer.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked in confusion as everyone rushed away from Charlotte's problem and onto another one. He just went along with it, thinking that Captain Man probably knew best.

"Ah, geez. Something's going down at the airport." (y/n) groaned as the brief summary of the emergency flashed up onscreen.

"Ooh, is a flight delayed?" The curly-haired boy questioned, even though that wasn't a superhero's area of expertise. Bad guys and end of the world situations, yes, lost baggage and bad food, no.

"No!" Henry told him as Ray bit his tongue. If he said anything bad, it'd just upset his girl and he didn't want that.

"Not really in our job description, curly." (y/n) joked to Jasper, deciding that he should have a nickname to help him fit in. 

"Come on, kid," Ray told Henry and they both moved off to the side of the room as (y/n) kept Jasper back.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked, wondering what all the commotion was about. He was so excited to see Captain Man and Kid Danger, he could barely contain his burning questions.

"We've got a crime to thwart..." Ray started, trying to puff out his chest and appear all cool so (y/n) might look at him would adoring eyes. She did that anyway, always, he just never noticed.

"...At the Swellview Airport." Henry finished, smirking at how good he and his boss sounded.

"Whoa, do you guys plan those rhymes?" Jasper asked as (y/n) giggled. Only Jasper could take away a superhero's confidence just like that.

"Uh, no, no."

"No, they're super organic." Ray and Henry frowned, eager to just get off and go help whoever needed assistance at the airport.

"Aren't you taking Miss Danger with you?" Jasper asked yet another question, but at least it was on a topic Ray was more than happy to talk about.

"Nah, I'll sit this one out." (y/n) smiled at the boy as Ray pouted. He liked it when she came with him and fought the bad guys, it was like they were getting extra time together.

"You sure?" Henry asked, seeing the way Ray was getting all whiny and grumpy from her staying behind. Ugh, that meant he'd be pining all day until they got back.

"Yeah, go save the world without me, one flight at a time." She smiled and Ray begrudgingly accepted that she didn't always want to go out for every emergency. It wasn't a huge job, so three crime fighters seemed a little excessive and there was work to be done in the Man Cave.

"Wait, what about Charlotte?" Jasper asked, but Ray and Henry were already in the middle of blowing their bubbles, so any more questions would have to wait. The boy grinned in wonder as he watched them transform together for the first time and before they set off, Captain Man and Kid Danger ran over to the auto-snacker, where (y/n) had wandered over to check on Charlotte.

"Hey, Charlotte, how's it going in there?" Ray asked her like it was a nice getaway vacation or something. 

"It's going bad! Get me out of this thing!" She yelled back, feeling all sticky and claustrophobic from the hot, tight space she found herself trapped in.

"We can't we got an emergency," Ray told her, even though his best friend was determined to get her out whilst they were gone.

"I'm an emergency!" Charlotte whimpered back, making Ray feel a teensy bit guilty that he wasn't going to stick around and help.

"Can you breathe okay?" Henry asked, wanting to know how bad the conditions were for his friend.

"She's been in there for like two hours, if she couldn't breathe, she'd be dead." (y/n) pointed out and then Charlotte snapped back with some incoherent mumbling.

"Okay, what'd she say?" Henry asked the two adults who were none the wiser.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure she said, "Hey, I'm good, you guys go do what you gotta do"," Ray lied, making (y/n) roll her eyes at him. 

"You two, just go. I'll try and get the machine to spit her out." (y/n) told them and they nodded. She had no idea how she was gonna do it without some expert knowledge, but hey, she'd give it a go.

"Okay, Char. Schwoz will be back in two to three hours to help (y/n)." Henry told his friend as the young woman gave Ray a quick hug goodbye and a peck on the cheek. 'For luck', she kept telling herself like she wasn't just doing it because she loved to feel his skin under her lips.

"Two to three hours?!" Charlotte gasped, but Ray and Henry had already run off to the tubes.

"Wait! What am I supposed to do while you guys are out fighting crime?" Jasper asked the heroes as they slapped their belts and the tubes came down. 

"Just go up to Junk-N-Stuff and watch the store," Henry told him and Ray agreed. That was basically all Jasper had to do for a pretty good salary.

"But I have some questions about my job." The boy whined and Ray had the perfect solution.

"(y/n) can answer all your questions right after we say up the tube." The large man told the boy, making his best friends eye widen at how sneaky he was.

"Raymond Manchester, you get back here or--" She tried to run forward and give him a slap on the arm for leaving all of Jasper's questions to her, but it was too late.

"Up the tube!" They shouted and within seconds, they were gone, leaving (y/n) alone with Jasper and his book full of questions.

"Okay, um...when a customer comes into the store, am I supposed to tell them to leave or act normal?" He asked the woman, who smiled politely and sat down on the couch with him. At least they were starting off easy.

"Just act normal. Sell them whatever they want, but if they start getting weird or try to get in the back, press the emergency alarm behind the counter." She answered, glad that he was asking questions that she knew about.

"Okay...what do I do if a criminal comes into the store and threatens me?" He asked next.

"Run like hell and alert us down here that you're in trouble. We'll come and help you." She smiled, but it got a little tight as another question was asked.

"Okay..." This could take a while. Charlotte better sit tight.

~3 hours later~

"KEEP PULLING, SCHWOZ!" (y/n) yelled to the genius as they fought to get Charlotte out of the auto-snacker. He'd finally returned after hours of waiting and now, he was helping the young woman get her out. She'd tried everything, yanking, pulling, being nice to the machine, but nothing had worked, so it was nice to have an extra pair of hands around. 

"I've got the head!" He replied as he pulled from the sides of Charlotte's head whilst (y/n) kept the door from closing. They were grunting and straining from the effort when Ray and Henry came down the tube after their mission. 

"Hiya!" (y/n) smiled at them breathily as she used all of her strength to keep the hatch from closing.

"Ooh, what a pretty fish you have." Schwoz turned around and saw that his boss had a multi-coloured, cardboard and tissue paper fish thing in his hands.

"You're squeezing my head too hard!" Charlotte whined as she managed to her arms out. Just a little more and she'd be free.

"Well, what do you want us to do?" Schwoz asked her sternly, thinking that they were doing their best to help her and all she was doing was complaining.

"Let go!" The teen directed him, not realising what the implications of that action would be.

"Kay-kay." Schwoz smiled, more than happy to give his aching arms a rest from all the pulling.

"Wait, no, no, no! Schwoz!" (y/n) groaned as the girl was released back into the machine, undoing all of their hard work. Well, there was no point in holding the door open now.

"Uh, did Charlotte just get sucked into--" Henry started, but the young woman was too agitated to hear it all out loud.

"Yes. Yes, she did, meaning that the last hour of us busting our asses to get her out has been for nothing. Right, Schwoz?" The young woman hissed and looked directly at Schwoz, who wasn't that worried about the problem or her anger.

"Relax, I'll get her out in a minute." Schwoz brushed her off, which made her fold her arms and sulk at his complacent attitude.

"What's that?" She asked her best friend, strolling over to him in hopes that he'd give her a hug and make her feel better.

"This thing is a fiñata." Ray smiled at her, but she eyed the "fiñata" suspiciously when she heard a buzzing noise come from inside it.

"Yeah, see, it's like a piñata, but, like, fish-themed," Henry explained, making Schwoz roll his eyes at how they were infantilising him.

"I know what a fiñata is." He said in an obvious tone.

"Um, Ray, why is your fiñata buzzing?" (y/n) asked as she poked one of the fish's fins, which probably wasn't a good idea. Ray manoeuvred it out of her reach and she got the message that it was dangerous in some way. 

"Well, I bet you didn't know that this fiñata is filled with live Zom-bees." He told Schwoz and shook the thing at the little guy, making him and (y/n) step back and hide behind the couch.

"Ayee!" Schwoz cowered as (y/n) covered her ears and glared at her best friend. That was a mean trick.

"Raymond, you can't bring Zom-bees into the Man Cave. If the fiñata breaks, they'll fly into our ears and eat our brains and y'know, I'm quite fond of mine!" The young woman pointed out and used her cutest eyes to make Ray get on her side. 

"Well, you'd be okay 'cause your super regeneration would repair your damaged brain cells, but we'd all die!" Schwoz corrected her, which made (y/n) feel worse. Why did she have to be the survivor of the Zom-bee attack and see all her friends get their brains munched on?

"We know," Ray told the genius and gave (y/n) his most calming smile. He didn't want her to be afraid.

"Yeah, so, how do we get rid of it?" Henry asked his boss, feeling just as nervous as (y/n) and Schwoz around the Zom-bee-filled thing.

"Uh, take it upstairs to Junk-N-Stuff. I'll call animal control and have 'em come pick up that fiñata of death." The superhero replied and gave the colourful fish a dark look. He wanted that thing gone before it freaked his girl out even more. 

"Okay, I'll bring it upstairs." Henry nodded, being careful not to break the fragile casing. He'd be the first one to have his brain eaten if they escaped and he definitely didn't fancy that.

"Don't forget to change your clothes." (y/n) reminded him, seeing that Henry was headed straight for Junk-N-Stuff as Kid Danger. That would be a hard one to explain if a customer saw him.

"Oh, yeah," Henry responded and tried to get his tube out whilst balancing the fiñata under his arm, which didn't go well. He stumbled and nearly dropped the thing, spooking the adults as it nearly split open.

"Hey, hey!" Ray gasped as (y/n) squeaked and hid her face in his chest, making his arms instinctively curl around her body to protect her.

"Geez, Henry!" Schwoz breathed out as the fiñata didn't break and the boy tucked it carefully under his arm again. 

"Be careful with that thing!" (y/n) whimpered against the red and blue material of Ray's tunic, her best friend running his hand up and down her back to calm her down.

"Guys, chill out, I'm not gonna drop it," Henry reassured them, not seeing why they were getting so worked up about everything.

"Do you have it?" Ray asked, just wanting to make sure he could manage.

"Yeah." Henry nodded, feeling like they were being a little too cautious. Didn't they trust him?

"Are you good?" (y/n) asked, also feeling a bit nervous at the thought of giving a load of death bees to a teenager to look after. 

"It's fine." He sighed, pressing the elevator button so he could just leave them to their worrying.

"Are you good?" Ray reiterated, not liking how his girl was still clutching him in fear. He wanted to ensure that Henry knew what he was doing.

"Ray...it's fine. Just...hug (y/n), she looks scared." The boy calmly told his boss and smirked when the large man gave him a grumpy look. It was like Henry wanted the woman to see that he was madly in love with her, what a dick.

"Okay." Ray let it go and returned to petting (y/n)'s hair, only Henry was a bit clumsy and on his way into the elevator, he nearly dropped the fiñata again, making the adults look at him with fear as he struggled to catch it before it hit the floor.

"AHHH, THEY'RE COMING TO GET US!" (y/n) screamed and jumped so her legs could wrap around Ray's waist like a koala, clinging to him tightly as she covered his ears. She didn't want to be left alone, so she'd sooner protect his brain than hers.

"See what you've done?" Ray deadpanned to Henry as he supported the girl he was now carrying. The boy just hit the button and the elevator door slid closed, leaving the man to reassure his girl into letting go, not that he was complaining about how she had chosen him to protect her.

"Come on, sweet girl, it's okay, there's no Zom-bees." He cooed at her and rested his hand on his cheek so he could touch the one covering his ears.

"I don't want them to eat your brain." She mumbled, pouting as his eyes met hers. She couldn't bear the thought of him getting hurt, he was her protector and provider, what would she do without him?

"I'm okay, sweet girl." He chuckled into her hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she smiled bashfully into his neck. What would he do without her?

~In Junk-N-Stuff~

"And here's your receipt." Jasper smiled at a customer as he made another sale. 

"Thank you." The woman accepted it graciously and Jasper had to admit that so far, his first day working for Captain Man was going great. 

"And enjoy your vintage waterbed." He said to the customer, who was planning on using it for or...with her cats. Weird. 

"Uh, do you me to help you carry that to your car?" Jasper offered the woman, seeing that the waterbed was too large and heavy for one person to carry easily.

"Please." The woman agreed and they made small talk as they shifted the water-filled bag out of the shop. It probably would be easier to empty the bed before moving it, but no one thought about that.

"Hey, Jasper?...Yo, Jasp?"Henry yelled as he walked out of the elevator and looked around the front of the store for his friend. He had no idea that Jasper had stepped out to help the crazy cat-lady with her waterbed and he was about to make a massive mistake. Henry's whiz watch began to beep and he plonked the fiñata down on the counter.

"Hey, what's up?" He greeted Ray as he checked to see if any customers were coming.

"Schwoz, (y/n) and I are trying to pull Charlotte out of the auto-snacker and we need another pair of hands," Ray grumbled as he glanced at his friends who were still trying to get the girl out of the damn machine. Why it wouldn't spit her out was anyone's guess.

"Okay, I'll be down in a sec." Henry nodded and snapped the watch closed. There was never a dull moment with his job.

"You know I flaunt ya, 'cuz girl I really want ya. And you're looking nice, got me cooler than a bag of ice, now freeze, freeze, freeze." He mumbled to himself as he walked back to the elevator. Five Fingaz To The Face had been in his head all day and it seemed like it was in Jasper's too.

"Drop it fast and move it real slow, oh! What? You smell so fruity, I'm pirate and you're my booty, argh!" Jasper sang, shaking his butt as Piper and her friend came into the store. Well, this was embarrassing.

"Oh my god, are you rapping?" Piper cringed as she saw the older boy, who didn't see anything wrong with a little boogie in the workplace.

"Yeah." He confirmed, thinking his moves were pretty sweet.

"Well, don't." She snapped. God, it was so embarrassing to see her brother's dopey best friend dance and rap in front of her friend.

"Hey, I work here now, so you have to be nice to me," Jasper told the little girl, but she didn't care. She was only nice to a few select people and Jasper wasn't one of them.

"No, I'm here as the customer, so you have to be. nice to me...THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!" She yelled in Jasper's face when he tried to disagree and he quickly fell into line. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of Piper and her fury.

"Hey, we're gonna be late." Piper's friend said as she looked up from her phone for the first time since she walked into the store.

"Late for what?" Jasper asked as he took in their outfits. Both girls were dressed to the nines in some really cute clothes and he wondered where they were going.

"A birthday party for our friend. So help us pick out a present, would ya?" Piper instructed him, peering around the junk on the shelves. There had to be something in this crappy store that would suit her friend.

"Does she like dogs?" Jasper asked, having something in mind, even though it wasn't remotely apt for an eleven-year-old girl.

"Yeah." Piper's friend said and Jasper walked over to a freaky skeleton on display.

"This is a dog skeleton. Woof, woof, woof...we'll keep looking." The curly-haired boy quickly discarded the creepy thing when he saw Piper's displeased stare. Maybe not.

"Hey, is this a fiñata?" The other girl said, picking up the deadly thing that Henry should've put somewhere safer. Obviously, someone would think it was just another piece of junk on sale and Jasper was none the wiser to its true, dark nature.

"Oooh, cool, how much for the fiñata?" Piper asked Jasper, thinking that it would be the perfect addition to her friend's party. 

"Lemme check," Jasper said and started to roughly turn the fish around in his hands so he could look for the price tag. If he knew what was inside it, there was no way he'd be shaking it so much.

"We don't care if it's a boy or a girl." Piper sassed as she watched Jasper shuffle the fish around.

"I'm checking for a price tag! I don't see one anywhere." He said, scouring the paper-covered fish for anything that could tell him the asking price. Of course, he wouldn't find one, it should be locked up, not sold to a child.

"Good, it's free then, thanks." Piper snatched the fiñata from Jasper's hands and made a break for the exit before he could stop them.

"The customer is always right!" She yelled at him when he tried to call after them, silencing Jasper as his second sale of the day made off without paying. That fiñata was about to cause him a load more trouble too.

~The Man Cave~

"Pull!" Ray yelled to his three friends as they tightly clutched Charlotte's ankle and tried to yank her from the auto-snack. It just wouldn't let her go.

"She's still stuck! Let her go, you piece of shit!" (y/n) growled and thumbed the hatch with her fist as Charlotte screamed. No matter how hard they pulled, Schwoz's invention kept her prisoner and it sucked her deep into itself, leaving her friends stumped.

"Well, how are we gonna get her outta there?" Ray asked as they panted. Physical exertion was futile.

"Hey, how about this?" Henry suddenly had a bright idea and smacked his palm against the screen.

"Charlotte." He ordered like he was ordering some fries or a milkshake.

"Charlotte." The auto-snacker confirmed and the young girl came flying out the hatch before bellyflopping onto the floor. 

"It worked! Nice one, Hen." (y/n) high-fived Henry as they all celebrated their success. Well, that was easier than they had thought. 

"You okay?" Henry asked his friend as she stood up and dusted herself off. Man, that was an ordeal and she was still starving.

"No, I am not okay! And I still never got my scrambled eggs." She said, walking over to the machine and bending down to look through the window of the machine. This time, however, it seemed to understand her order and a load of hot, steaming scrambled eggs were fired at her face.

"You, uh, you got something..." Ray pointed to her cheek as bits of egg plopped onto the floor.

"That's why I order cereal. Eggs are just bad news." (y/n) quipped, thinking it was pretty funny to see Charlotte's unimpressed face covered in the mess. However, her giggling was soon interrupted when the computer started to beep.

"That's Jasper, upstairs." Henry recognised the special beeping and realised that it was the signal from Junk-N-Stuff.

"Oh god, I told him to press it when there was an emergency." (y/n) panicked, thinking that he was being held at gunpoint or the store was on fire or some other disaster. 

"Hey, Jasper, what's up?" Henry opened the link and saw his friend on the monitor.

"There's two guys here from animal control, asking about some Zom-bees?" He told Henry as Ray and (y/n) wandered over. Well, at least he was using the line correctly, it was better to ask and make sure he was doing the right thing than just assume.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." Henry nodded and remembered that he'd left the dangerous insects upstairs, unattended and with a boy who knew nothing about them.

"Yeah, yeah, Jasper, the Zom-bees are inside the purple fiñata," Ray told him, thinking that the matter would be swiftly dealt with, but things were about to get complicated.

"Oh, I sold the fiñata." He told them, making Henry and (y/n) choke on their own saliva as Ray took a minute to process his words.

"Great, then just give it to the guys--you sold the fiñata?!" Ray exclaimed in horror as Jasper remained oblivious to the cock-up he'd made.

"Yeah, and a waterbed." He smiled happily, thinking that his sales so far were good, even though one of them hadn't been paid for.

"Shit on it, wh-who'd you sell it to?" (y/n) asked frantically as she rested her hand on Ray's bicep and looked up at him in worry.

"Piper," Jasper replied, making Henry gasp. His sister? Seriously? Ray ended the call prematurely and peered at his friends with nervous eyes.

"Do you realise what'll happen if those Zom-bees get outta that fiñata?" He questioned the boy, who was seriously freaking out. He couldn't have his sister die from a bee eating her brain!

"Okay, okay, let's not panic about this. I'm sure that Piper just took it home and put it in her bedroom or something." (y/n) told the boy calmly as she theorised that Piper probably wanted it as a decoration. Little did she know that it was currently at a pre-teen's birthday party, being whacked viciously by a load of children looking for candy. They needed to get Jasper with them immediately.

~10 minutes later~

As soon as Jasper had closed up the store and stepped into the Man Cave Henry was all over him, interrogating him about the sale of a ticking time bomb to Piper. There was only a matter of time until the fiñata was smashed open and a load of people were killed.

"How could you give my little sister a fiñata full of death bugs?" The boy asked his friend sternly as Ray paced behind him, just as angry. (y/n) didn't think Jasper was to blame that much, he was just doing his job as they had told him. In the middle of all of this bickering, Charlotte had found a towel and was wiping the egg mush from her face as the argument went on and on.

"Oh, come on! It's not Jasper's fault!" The young woman defended the boy, wanting to be the one who was on his side since everyone else seemed so unfairly angry with him.

"I didn't know there were bugs in it!" Jasper stressed, glad that (y/n) was being so kind to him. He'd never endanger Piper deliberately, especially on his first day at work.

"Well, there are! There's at least fifty Zom-bees inside that fiñata!" Ray hissed, making the poor kid feel worse. He really didn't mean any harm. 

"Okay, yelling at Jasper isn't gonna help anything." Charlotte stepped in too, joining (y/n) in defending Jasper.

"Thank you." He said. He was starting to get the picture that they were the reasonable ones around these parts.

"Do you realise how dangerous those bees are?" Ray looked at the two teens as Henry walked around with his hands on his head. 

"Ya! They fly into your head, through your ears, and then they feed upon your brain!" Schwoz showed them the information on his PearPad and tried to sound all dramatic. He really knew how to stir the pot and make things worse.

"You should not have worn that tie," Charlotte mentioned to Jasper, as she noticed the hotdog pattern on it. Was (y/n) the only one who liked it?

"Okay, just...did my sister say where she was going anywhere?" Henry asked Jasper, who bit his lip as he recalled every word Piper had said to him. There was a lot of shouting from her, but also...

"Uh...yeah! Some friend of hers' birthday party." Jasper remembered and it triggered Henry's memory about something his sister had been banging on about for weeks.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Uh...Gabby Birch." Henry said the name as Ray and (y/n) dashed over so they could hear everything.

"Who's Gabby Birch?" Ray asked, too panicky to put two and two together.

"Her friend, duh!" (y/n) said as she and Henry reached for their gum tubes. That's right, she had her own tube now, all hers, no one else's and it made her feel like one of the team.

"Come on, let's blow and go," Henry told Ray, who remained still. Why wasn't he snapping into action like them?

"No, are you insane?" He asked them halting their movements before they could pop a gumball.

"What? We need to go grab that death fish!" (y/n) pointed out, but Ray had a fairly good point for holding back.

"We can't just run in there as Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger and be like "Hey, kids! We're here at the party because we were worried that some killer bugs might fly into your heads and eat your brains, happy birthday, Gabby!"," Ray rambled and the sidekicks got the message. They certainly didn't want to freak out a load of children and their parents.

"All right, all right, then...we just gotta sneak in, grab the fiñata and get outta there fast." Henry theorised and the adults agreed. It seemed simple enough, right?

"Oh, come on!" Charlotte protested, seeing a million things wrong with what Henry had just said.

"What?" The boy looked at her, thinking that his plan was perfect.

"How are you guys gonna sneak into a birthday party without being seen?" She asked, making a good point. They could just walk in unannounced, they'd get arrested for trespassing or for being creeps.

"We will need a cunning disguise." (y/n) smirked and rubbed her hands, knowing exactly what would get them into the party. Every kid had them when it was their birthday and it was a sure-fire way to be let in, no questions asked. Hopefully.

~Gabby Birch's Birthday Party~

Well, the party was in full swing: there were balloons, food, cake, music, toys and, of course, the fiñata, which was still being sadistically beaten by numerous little girls. Henry, Ray and (y/n) sneaked in and winced when they saw the rough treatment of the cardboard fish. Their disguises weren't bad, (y/n) had cleverly chosen them to be clowns since they always came to kid's birthday parties, even though no child ever wanted one. Sure, they were creepy, but it gave them the perfect way in.

Both males were wearing alarmingly bright, wacky clothes, face paint and wigs that gave them the clown aesthetic and hid who they were. (y/n) looked equally ridiculous, but also kinda cute in a way and she was sure that as long as no one looked too close, they'd be able to grab the fiñata and get out of there.

"Shit, Henry!" (y/n) gasped as nudged Henry as she saw the fiñata taking its beating and the boy quickly started shaking his boss's shoulder.

"Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray!" He panicked, gaining the man's attention fairly quickly as he pointed to the tree where the fish has been strung up.

"What? What?" Ray asked annoyedly, but he was soon gulping like his friends when he saw how the girls were minutes away from breaking the fiñata.

"They're whacking the fiñata!" (y/n) said as Ray gasped, making him put himself in front of her so he'd be the first to be eaten if the Zom-bees escaped. He didn't want his girl to munched on, even if she would be fine, especially since she looked so cute in her little dress. God, it fit her perfectly and he was more than happy to admire her figure.

"I don't get why this stupid fiñata won't break." A girl yelled and her friends began to hit it even harder. This wasn't going to end well.

"Here I found a shovel." Piper came in and was immediately encouraged to beat the fiñata with it. Okay, the superheroes had to act before these kids released the death bugs.

"Dear God, she's using a shovel." Ray cringed as he watched the fish bounce from the shovel to the fiñata sticks and each blow was painful to witness.

"We have to do something." (y/n) hissed in his ear, but before they could, a cheery woman with a drink in her hand addressed them.

"Hello!" She smiled, making the clowns panic. How were they supposed to lie to this mom about being the entertainment at her daughter's party?

"Uhhh...hey."

"Hi, how are you?" Ray and Henry greeted her politely as (y/n) just smiled and waved. This was gonna be fun.

"Oh, I'm Mrs Birch, the birthday girl's mom." The woman introduced herself and shook hands with each clown, all of whom were feeling pretty awkward. They had no idea how to clown around and entertain kids, they just needed to grab the damn fiñata.

"Nice to meet you." (y/n) smiled nervously, but thankfully, Mrs Birch didn't pick up on it.

"Okay, so, which one of you is Burples and which one of you is Schmutz?" She asked, making Henry and Ray both choose the one that sounded better.

"I'm Burples." They said together, not liking the idea of being called Schmutz, but then they both sounded weird.

"I'm Schmutz." They then said together, confusing Mrs Birch and making (y/n) facepalm. This wasn't a good first impression.

"You know, we swap."

"We trade-off." They excused their weirdness and luckily, Mrs Birch took it to be a funny clown joke. 

"You two really are clowns." She laughed, thinking it was a compliment and the annoyed look on the boys' faces made (y/n) giggle too.

"Yes, they are." She confirmed, loving how the woman had called out Ray and Henry's bumbling behaviour, but then, Mrs Birch stopped and thought about how she had one too many clowns in her garden.

"Sorry, I thought we paid for two clowns." She looked at (y/n) who took a moment to think of a believable lie.

"Uh...well, I'm on work experience. Yep, and I'm just gonna be observing these two...being clowns. Free of charge." She punched out nervously, making it up as she went along and the mom seemed to be fine with it, thank god.

"Oh, lovely, what's your clown name?" Mrs Birch asked and again, (y/n) had to think on her feet for something clownish.

"Uhhhh...Phalange. Yeah, I'm Phalange the Clown." She giggled, reverting to her favourite made-up name for every time she went undercover. It was an oldie, but a goodie and it was convincing enough.

"Well, I'll just leave the entertainment up to you guys, then." Mrs Birch smiled and Ray, (y/n) and Henry could let out a sigh of relief as the woman returned to the other parents.

"That'll be great, ma'am, thank you." Ray nodded at her politely as he tried to channel his inner clown. It should be too hard for him, after all, he was a pretty goofy guy.

"Yes, we are professional clowns." Henry tried to sound convincing like he really was a guy who painted his face and wore baggy pants to entertain kids.

"Ain't that the truth." (y/n) added, smirking at the boy as Ray pulled them to the side. They got up to so much mischief, they probably could pass as clowns sometimes.

"Dang it, they're gonna break that thing open any second!" Ray complained as he watch the kids still whacking the fiñata.

"And then snack time for all those Zom-bees and bye-bye brains for everyone here." The young woman freaked out too, looking to her best friend for any ideas.

"Uh, ooh, I got a plan, I got a plan," Henry told them and before he could discuss it with the adults, he stepped towards the children and started to work his inner clown.

"Hey, kids! Hey! Hey kids, over here!" He yelled at them in a funny voice, baffling Ray and (y/n) as the kids looked at the weirdo trying to get their attention.

"What are you doin'?" Ray asked the boy, thinking that he looked and sounded ridiculous, but it was fine. Henry had a plan.

"Shhhhh!" Henry shut him up and returned his focus to the bored expressions of the children. Yeah, no one likes clowns.

"What?" Piper asked, feeling just as annoyed as all her friends at the rude interruption. She was gonna break this fiñata open if it was the last thing she'd do. And if she did, it probably would be.

"You wanna know what's more fun than whackin' a fiñata?" Henry jumped up and down and acted like all the clowns he'd seen at the birthday parties he'd attended over the years.

"Tell us!" The kids demanded, hoping that his suggestion would be worth them stopping their attack.

"Whackin' Burples the Clown!" Henry pointed at Ray with a huge grin on his face as (y/n) and Ray shared a nervous look. Why did Ray have to be the one who got beat up? Just because he was indestructible, didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.

"No, no, no, no, no." Ray rejected the idea as the kids cheered. Whacking a real person seemed a lot more fun than whacking that stupid fish.

"You're indestructible!" Henry hissed to Ray, thinking that he was the best candidate for the job.

"So?" Ray looked at his sidekick in offence and then at his girl for help. She wasn't keen on the idea of seeing him getting beaten by a load of children, but they didn't have a better idea.

"So just take it or (y/n) will have to be the one who gets whacked!" Henry hissed in his ear and Ray swiftly sucked it up. Damn Henry, he knew his weakness; he'd never let his sweet girl take the pain when he was more than capable of doing so and the boy knew it. That's why he was busy dragging (y/n) off to the side as the kids ran over with their bats, sticks, shovels and planks of wood. Oh dear god, this would hurt.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Ray groaned at the first few hits came in and (y/n) whimpered at the sight of him being treated so cruelly. Why did these children have to love hurting people so much?

"(y/n), come on, he'll be fine," Henry promised the young woman and she knew he was right. Taking advantage of all the focus being on Ray as he tried to escape the kids' malice, the boy and woman sneaked through the garden and avoided the parent's gaze as they went for the fiñata.

Henry tried to snag it from the tree, but it was no use. Whoever had tied it on knew what they were doing and it would take more than a few tugs to set the fiñata free.

"You're gonna have to pull harder!" (y/n) hissed to the boy as he used all his weight to try and snap the string. Things were never easy; luckily, Ray was taking to blows like a champ and the parents were too busy nattering to realise what was going on. Seeing that he had an opportunity, Henry jumped onto the fish and used all his strength to climb up the string to the branch whilst (y/n) kept a lookout.

"Keep going, Burples!" She cheered on her best friend as he was hit by the hammers and bricks, but they soon had another problem on their hands. The garden gate swung open and two more clowns joined the party. Oh, shit, here came the real Burples and Schmutz.

"Hey, hey, who are those clowns?" Henry and (y/n) looked to see that they had company and gulped when the new clowns gave them some very dirty stares. 

"That clown ain't supposed to be here!"

"Yeah, we booked this job!" The real clowns snapped as the kids stopped whacking Ray, who was suddenly just as nervous as his sidekicks.

"Uh, look uh, there's a perfectly rational explanation---" Ray tried to keep things calm between himself and the men, but they were obviously very protective over their gigs.

"Why don't you shut up and get outta here!" A clown squared up to Ray, who wasn't the sort of guy to take that kind of attitude lying down.

"Keep trying to get that thing down!" (y/n) hissed to Henry, who nodded as she went to stand in between Ray and the angry clowns.

"Uh, are you guys threatening me?" Ray asked the men as his best friend came to his side, but he wasn't going to let her get hurt, not against these losers.

"Maybe..." The clown replied and jabbed Ray in the nose with a mean right hook, shocking (y/n) and Henry as they watched their friend take the hit. Oh, it was on.

"Ah!" Ray clutched his nose as he waited for the pain to fade, but (y/n)'s temper had flared and she wasn't going to let these two clown jerks hurt the man she loved.

"Okay, Burples, is that how you wanna play?!" She hissed at the man, her eyes burning with fury as she stepped up to the plate. She was taunting them, daring them to make a move and then, she'd give them what for.

"Go back to the gutter, bitch. It's where you belong." The other man growled at her, not realising that he could insult or hit Ray all he liked, but insulting (y/n) made the superhero furious. She didn't deserve to be spoken to so rudely, not be some two-bit clown in a crappy costume and Ray wasn't going to let them get away with it.

"Oh, that's it! You don't talk about her like that! You're going down, clown!" Ray growled at them as he stepped in front of his girl, ready to defend her honour. It enraged the man to see her be mistreated and the protective streak in his DNA told him to keep her safe at all costs from the morons and their harsh words.

"Come on!" The clowns put up their fists, preparing to swing again, but they didn't realise that they had just picked a battle with Captain Man and insulted the woman he loved. They were playing with fire.

"Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight!" The kids and parents began to chant with Piper being to ringleader as Ray circled the two men and Henry tried his hardest to get the fiñata to budge.

He jumped up and down on it and finally, it gave way, but Henry couldn't control his landing and he accidentally squished the fish as he fell on the ground. He and (y/n) watched in horror as the death bugs began to fly out of the fiñata, searching for their targets.

"The Zom-bees!" Ray shrieked as he saw the insects spread out and his hands flew to his head to protect his brain.

"Everyone! Cover your ears!" (y/n) screamed to the kids as she got in front of them, hoping that the bees would pick her brain to eat on and not theirs. However, it seemed that they were particularly focused on the two asshole clowns, who had covered their ears too late and were screeching in pain.

"It's hurting my brain!" They screamed as Ray opened the gate for them to run out and they took the Zom-bees with them. Well, that was that dilemma solved. Wherever the bees would go, it wasn't their problem anymore. All they had to worry about was how to explain what had just happened to the terrified kids and their parents.

"Uhhhh...Happy birthday, Gabby!" (y/n) nudged the boys for them to join her and they all smiled as brightly as they could at the little girl. Now, they just needed to get out of the garden before...

"Whoa, clowns? Mister and Missus Clowns?" Mrs Birch stopped them before they could open the gate and the three looked at her sheepishly, hoping she wasn't gonna call the cops on them.

"Yeah, what's up?" Ray and Henry asked politely, hoping that whatever she wanted wouldn't take too long.

"You're supposed to stay and entertain the children until five o'clock. That's, uh...two more hours." She smiled at them as she checked her watch. Two hours, ew, no thank you.

"Oh, uhhhhh." Ray stumbled and looked to (y/n) for an excuse. She was normally good at making things up.

"Oh, well, ma'am, the thing is, you see---" The young woman rambled, wracking her brain for an excuse, but she was cut off when Piper ran over to them with something to say.

"Hey! Gabby wants you clowns to make some stuff with balloons." She told them and Mrs Birch smiled at the idea. That would give them something to do.

"But we gotta go..." Ray shuddered at the murderous glare that Piper was giving him and his excuse dried up in his mouth.

"So do it." She hissed. Looks like they had no choice.

~

Well, this sucked. Making balloon animals was a lot harder than it looked in the movies or on TV and Henry was struggling to come up with something good. At least Ray and (y/n) had an idea of what to do.

"Look, kids, aeroplane." Ray presented his balloon creation with a bored voice and twirled the propeller to make them clap. To be fair, it was quite impressive that he was able to make one.

"Look, kids, a dog." (y/n) showed them her much simpler design and then passed it to a girl at the front as she rubbed her sore hands together. The balloons had snapped and rubbed them as she twisted the latex into something resembling an animal, but at least they were soon healing over. The perks of being a superhero.

"How people do this for a living is beyond me." She grumbled quietly to Ray as they waited for Henry to finish his masterpiece. Ray saw her discomfort and took a hand into his so he could try and massage away the pain. They'd get better on their own instantly, but he wanted an excuse to hold her hand and she was happy to let him go for it.

"Uh, look I made an X." Henry smiled nervously at the children and held his untied balloons together. He was useless at balloon-art and unfortunately, this was the best he could do.

"Um, excuse me, ma'am. How much more of this do we have to do?" (y/n) asked the woman as Henry was just too painful to watch. Hopefully, they had killed a bit of time making their works. 

"An hour and fifty-five minutes." Maybe not. They still had ages left and barely any energy.

"Oh, god." Ray groaned and Henry handed him his balloons. It was mundane and agitating for the couple, who knew that they had much better things to do with their time than mess about for children, but it was okay.

Much better things were about to come their way.

[necroromantics]

Tobin dynamic with other Creepypastas.... and also Tali :3333

OK LMAO Here is my toxic confession.

So way back when I first started developing Ticci Toby for my AU I literally just projecting myself onto him so bad. And then. I projected people I knew IRL onto the other characters.

Like I write Clockwork based on my gf, I write Eyeless Jack, Brian, and Tim based on some friends I had in high school, I write Nina and Kate based on people I knew/know too. It switches around a bit who I base certain characters on (like Nina and Kate and characters Ive developed less) but the general rule of thumb is that I heavily project my IRL shit onto what I write for the Creepypastas, with fiction and source material in there obviously cuz theyre still just characters

BUT THEN. I ended up making Tobin. A self insert. And my gf made Tali. A self insert. (Once again with fiction shit mixed in for storytelling purposes) but then it created a dilemma for me cuz both Toby and Tobin were characters I projected onto. They were both an extension of me in a way.

And so when it comes to writing shit like Tobins interactions with the canon Creeps, it always ends up being how Id write Toby with those characters.

Tobin would be close friends with EJ cuz I base EJ off my best friend in HS. If they interacted Tobin would definitely try and get a reaction out of him but to no avail, and EJ would see him as a pet project, probably would mostly hangout when he was patching Tobin up after he got into shit. EJ would be a good, stable influence for Tobin

Tobin would beef with Jeff cuz I... Base Jeff off someone I hated in HS.... My bad... LMAOOOO Theyd always kinda compete with their egos in mind. He'd just hate Jeff's superiority complex like hes above everyone and he'd be grumpy as shit around him, always talking back, picking fights a bit, he just doesnt like him

And Tobin would be friends with Nina and Kate, cuz theyre characters I base off people I was friends with. He'd see Nina as a little sister type almost, and at some points he'd get frustrated with her and her attachment to Jeff, her boy issues, her emotions. They'd bicker like siblings too, he'd tease her a lot, but ultimately look out for her. Hes awkward when it comes to emotions, and Nina has intense emotions, so a lot of the times he doesnt know what the fuck to do, and probably gets pissy.

Tobin with Kate would be mad chill. He loves dogs, hes good with dogs, hes dealt with fighter dogs, and so when Kate becomes the Chaser and is just this animalistic beast of a girl, hes pretty good at "taming" her to an extent. I think they both understand what its like to be treated like something less than human. But for Kate herself, theyd be like stoner friends without the weed, mostly. Just chill, jokes around, Kate would probably randomly give him money cuz she has no use for it and I hc her love language to be gift giving, and Tobin would joke and call her his sugar momma.

I think the same would go for Tali/Clockwork but my gf made Tali into her own character more than I did with Tobin/Toby so a bit less there....

Tali would be fine with Jeff, but she listens to Tobin when he doesnt like someone so she wouldnt befriend him or anything. She would befriend Nina, if Nina bugged her enough. She has a soft spot for those girly girls that mean well. Tali would be chill with Jack, but not close with him, just appreciative of his maturity and how its like a breath of fresh air being around some nonhuman who acts more human than the freaks around her

[wufflesvetinari]

OK, so I totally adored your take on the Laddy Jannath's Estate quest and I'm still working on a long, loud comment. But are you thinking of writing anything about Mystic Carrion's quest? I've been turning it over to write myself, because the parallels with Astarion's are driving me insane and I may have to adjust my personal canon to this being before his personal quest. It's just such a good parallel.

ooooh thank you, and fun question!!

i hadn't thought to write anything on mystic carrion but i am picking up what you're putting down re: astarion. i remember being kind of surprised he didn't approve/disapprove more during that quest? (or maybe that was because in my 2-player game my approval messages were sometimes bugged). that sounds like a very very good fic concept

and re: moving cazador's mansion around in your personal canon: relatable lol. one side quest thing i WOULD like to write at some point is the "save vanra" quest, which i'm pretending we completed right after cazador for Astarion Projection Reasons and also inspired by the multiple times he approves during that quest

i'm envisioning a narrative where everyone's a little weirded out by how...well/even-handedly....? astarion has been handling the death of his life-long tormenter and his own consignment to the shadows? i mean yeah, he had his 2-second sob on cazador's floor, but then he gets eerily calm the next day...until you get the quest to save this helpless little girl from becoming a monster, born of another monster and beholden to her. and he gets extremely into it, and everyone is getting a little freaked out because that's like an explicitly selfless thing to get worked up about

and he works himself up into a kind of protective mania, and it ends with him being extremely defensive of vanra (and of that impulse) until lash/insert-love-interest-here is like "hey by any chance are you projecting"

and he's like oh :') and has the deferred breakdown

[welcomehomerandomness]

Welcome Home Website Update Reaction Notes (7/22/2023) Part 1 (SPOILERS)

Hey guys! Today I'm gonna show you my reactions to the Welcome Home website via my notes on Google Docs. I wrote 5 pages and spent around 5 or 6 hours exploring the website lol. Hope you enjoy it! Here's Part 1!

NEW HOME ART

The little Home doodle is so cute omg

FRANK AND BARNABY’S VOICES IN “ANSWER” OMG

Barnaby’s voice is honestly like a mix of Rowlf and Fozzie from the Muppets which matches well with his personality

Frank’s voice is like a mix of Gonzo from the Muppets and Gyro from DuckTales (the 2017 one)

THERE’S A GLITCH AT THE END WHAT

The Frank and Julie sprites on the FAQ page is so cute

THE STICKERS ARE SO CUTE

THE SEASONAL BANNERS

Wally and Barnaby (Winter), Frank and Eddie (Spring), Sally and Julie (Summer), and Howdy and Poppy (Fall/Autumn)

I just realized the golden flowers on Home’s sticker give me Undertale vibes

The Frank and Julie sprites on the News page is so cute too

Question Answerer seems sus

THE NEIGHBORS HAVE AUDIO WITH TEXT TRANSCRIPTS I REPEAT THE NEIGHBORS HAVE AUDIO WITH TEXT TRANSCRIPTS

“That’s the most!” Awww Wally

The drumroll on Barnaby’s audio and his little awkward laugh I love him

Yes Julie let’s play a game with a pogo stick, a bowl of pasta, and a pair of roller skates and cause chaos in the Neighborhood lol

I swear I will be depresso if Frank, Eddie, and Howdy get hurt or die…Those three are on my top 3 favorite WH characters (in no specific order) :(

I should make a list of favorite Welcome Home neighbors lol

Anyways

YES FRANK YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

I love Eddie’s Southern accent and the way he talks sorta reminds me of Launchpad from DuckTales (the 2017 one)

Awww Eddie is scared of a bug and he wants Frank’s help awww

Eddie doesn’t want his paper chains to be ruined :(

I realized the Frank and Eddie one is also called “answer” and so far the two videos mention bugs and Frank is in each video

HOWDY’S VOICE

He definitely sounds like one of those people working on radio stations

I feel like if he’s not a shopkeeper, he would definitely work on a radio station

Howdy’s Radio Podcast when???

Sally’s voice is so dramatic and I love it

*insert scared Poppy chicken/bird noise*

Also is Poppy alright? I’m kinda worried :(

The voices of the neighbors are fantastic so far the voice actors did really great in their roles :D

Poppy and Frank = best cooking/baking duo

I wonder what those seed things taste like…They probably taste good

Frank mentions Wally eating with his eyes

The third “answer” video with Poppy and Frank mentioning butterflies

I love the Sally and Howdy sprites on the Merchandise page

The “duet” page with Wally on the phone is kinda eerie

Wally sounds dead inside

I love you too Wally lol

The rimshot and horn honk on Barnaby’s phone audio lol

Don’t worry Barnaby your jokes always make me laugh

I love Barnaby’s little “Buh bye!”

I reread "It's-For-You!" Talking Telephone Toy page, I thought it said “Mario, Inc.” instead of “Marlo, Inc.”

Super Mario is canon in this universe jk

Julie’s voice is freaking adorable

I wanna listen to Frank’s bug facts everyday

Frank freaking slanders Barnaby

I love Eddie’s jingle

I wanna get some school supplies from Eddie now lol

I love Howdy’s laughs lol

Protect Howdy at all costs

I love the “ta-da!” jingle from Sally

“…I said ‘Hellooo!’ That’s your cue!” Sally radiates theater kid energy and I love her

Poor Poppy doesn’t know how a phone works :(

*insert more scared Poppy chicken/bird noises*

Howdy’s and Frank’s letters to Wally are so wholesome

I love the insect sketches

Sally calls Julie “Juliet” that’s a cute name

Eddie is the most OP character lol

But can Eddie beat Goku tho???

I think Howdy is OP too but who knows

Julie asking Eddie to catch him is basically the “If I run and leap at Terry” scene from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Also I actually don’t watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine btw I just know the memes

Anyways

When Frank said “Oh my”, I imagine them blushing asdfghjkl

I forgot to put this here but I love when Frank calls Eddie “Mr. Dear” that’s so cute

I love Julie and Frank’s besties dynamic in the “answer” video

PUPPET WALLY’S REFLECTION ON ONE OF THE RECORDS

I wanna buy every single merch if they are real lol

The live interview reminds me of those Muppet and Sesame Street interviews and it’s quite charming ngl

“Oh no, I don’t know. I love everyone. I love my friends.” Wally poly confirmed???

The interviewer’s name is Rick (and Morty asdfghjkl)

Miss Beagle is mentioned!!!

“I tell ya, we got a neighbor who's got an arm like a professional baseball player! It’s not easy!” Is Barnaby talking about Julie or Eddie?

I want to watch the "Julie-rella" segment so bad

Also Fairy "Dog"-mother lmao

Hopscotch To The Max wtf hahaha

“It took us an hour to get you down off Howdy's roof, and we still don’t know where the green chalk went…” Julie, you played hopscotch on Howdy’s roof???

I love Frank’s and Julie’s singing voices

I love how Barnaby just barges in and Frank is like “wtf”

I love Barnaby’s singing voice too

“Aw. I wanted to learn the colors.” Awww Wally is so adorable

“Wally, don’t look! He’s INDECENT!” That actually made me laugh even as I’m rereading the transcript and typing this down

A wild Howdy appears! *insert Pokemon battle music*

Also some of the “Just So” song demo seems to be distorted…That’s sus

The concept art of Julie’s “Just So” Bowling Dress is so cute

I also love how Frank and Julie wear outfits that match the games they play that’s so wholesome

Howdy’s laughs cure my depression

I love Howdy slapping the countertop when he laughs

Sole and Lyco awww

Awww Frank’s little “thank you”

“I’m sorry, I’ll see what I can do.” AWWW

I love when Julie translates to what Frank’s plants are saying it’s so wholesome

Eddie: *talks about the entire plot of Jack and the Beanstalk which involves Jack climbing up the beanstalk, encountering a giant, and cutting down the beanstalk with a big ax*

Poppy who is dressed as the beanstalk: Haha. I’m in danger.

Wally’s puppet hands are holding some yarn in “answer” but he seems that he’s not moving…

I can barely hear Poppy and Howdy’s dialogue in the videeo since I don’t have headphones on but I assume it’s a friendly conversation as usual since I can hear Howdy’s laugh lol

Wally’s hand trying to grab the cup of tea??? coffee??? in “answer”

Poppy and Sally talking about plays as usual lol

A human hand??? With a glove???

I don’t know who this human is but I’m pretty sure she’s a Howdy fan lol

I’m answering the Welcome Home worksheet because why not lol

1) Barnaby 2) Sally 3) Poppy 4) Julie 5) Wally

Now where’s my prize/j

I’m guessing that Wally replica puppet is going to come to life lol

I wanna go to this exhibition so bad if this is real lol

Awww the Poppy and Barnaby sprites…

I accidentally clicked the “Hello” doodle on the Guestbook and I’m scared

The page is called “Find”

Wally??? Wally you ok???

[nihiltism]

new pinned babeyyyy this time with pictures. hi im veebert deebert im cute put weevils and grubs in my askbox and be my friend

recommended spoiler tags to block: #hatoful spoilers, #holistar spoilers (if you havent played the second game), #live a live spoilers, #isat spoilers, also #bugs and #suggestive and #nsfw and #body horror for Non spoiler tags I might end up posting

#veespeaks - general talking tag

#the beasts they are demonic in nature - my dog + past pets

#veesketches / #look at my art boy - unfinished and finished art respectively. i dont have shit in the way of finished art

#blorbos from my brain / (insert name here)posting - oc posting!

#ratclips - me showing off in mad rat dead <3

#veedia 2023/2024/etc - reviews of stuff i just finished so i can remember what i just finished. i dont actually update this much but i should.

#veepaganda - recommendation posts

i have some others but those are mostly used to keep stuff organized for myself. anyway while youre here look at my emotional support little freak his name is nigel he looks desolate all the time

[lensman-arms-race]

What would you do if you met Cygnus in real life?

(Context for anyone who didn't know: Cygnus is a TV-unit who appears in most of my fanfics (there's a link to those in my pinned post). The reader-insert character nicknamed them Cygnus because their serial ends in 22, 'like two little swans'.)

If by 'real life' you mean exactly as it is now, not in the Skibidi Toilet universe, I'd think 'sick cosplay' until I realised they were an actual robot. And then freak out because intelligent robots don't exist in real life! What the hell! Hopefully we could become friends so I could show them cool bugs and play videogames on their face.

If I existed in the Skibidi Toilet universe and was taken in by the Alliance, I guess events could proceed in similar fashion to the fics. The reader-insert character is meant to be 'you', but because I'm the one writing it, the human probably has the same flavour of autism as I do. (That said, the human is definitely a cooler and bolder version of me, because I want to have fun writing them and create something that's fun to read.)

[georgierre]

21 for the prompts only bc we’ll both hate it

send me a goretober prompt + george (or another driver ig, maybe guanyu) !

21 ; george + needle

i scared myself making this lol i hate needles so much

tw: blood, trypanophobia, bugs, knife, horror

it's not the miniature pinch akin to a wasp bite that terrifies george. it's not even the blood. when he got his first vaccine shots as a kid, he thinks: there is a rod of metal piercing into my skin far longer than it should.

don't get him wrong; he believes in vaccines. he also means no ill will to those with metal rods substituting bones in their bodies. it's just specifically the injection, and its intrusion and foreign presence to his blood cells. to his naked eye, the needle disappears into layers of skin, but he cannot measure how deep. how does the millimeters-small void space imprinted by the needle get filled in? how does the skin part and pucker around the needle?

it disgusts him.

it disgusts him to think about it, but reverse psychology, he thinks of it more.

he once stabbed a tomato with a knife he randomly found in the kitchen. it's not the same as an injection, but it's in the same vein of painful, metal intrusion. he watches the knife disappear in the semi-translucent layer of skin, juices squirting out of the hole. when he pulls the knife out, he puts two thumbs on the sides of the intrusion and pulls, and he sees disgusting layers of red mush and seeds that were obviously once whole but are now abruptly corroded and separating.

george leaves the tomato there in the pile of other fruits for a week, his mom not noticing. what she does notice, though, is the maggots that somehow started growing out of all their fruits, and the biggest one— chunky and lacquered and hungry— stands daringly on a rotten tomato.

george does not sleep for a week, tracing his veins.

when he's older, he searches more. there are different ways to insert injections. the degree it stands above the skin is important, and it has to do with depth, precision, and destination. there are four layers, three of which could contain a bundle of veins. the deepest vein one can inject are those in between the subcutaneous tissue and the muscle, and george thinks, how does the muscle not jerk and hit the needle as it passes through his skin?

and with that forbidden fruit of knowledge comes with the overwhelming awareness of what his skin is made for, and the little, trypophobic pores that decorate it, and the way body hair is burrowed into the skin, even sometimes bundling up far too much than what's required, and there's even germs and bacteria that peer into these miniscule passageways, and george—

george feels sick.

he gets hospitalized in the future for a mild crash. the doctors tell him they need to administer an iv. he panics, but only internally, because what aspiring world champion freaks out over needles?

but now he's resting alone in his hospital room, iv now four hours in place. the needle is bigger than he remembers needles to be. the nurse fails to push it into his left wrist, blood squirting out from a hole that looks too large for his liking, then they put the same dirty-tubed iv into his dominant hand.

and so the iv is there, secured with too much strips of medical tape.

he feels his bloodstream tingle. this is not okay. he watches his hand with tired eyes. it's shaking, but then he realizes his whole body is too, like his body is aware something is wrong, and he feels it, he feels it— he feels every portion of his skin, and everything under it. how is a vein coated? how does a vein build around the intrusion of a needle? how about his tissue? do they build around it like a tree root navigating its way through urban cities? how clean was that needle? how much blood cells have passed through and touched that needle?

the nurse did look quite rushed a while ago, opening the needle packets in a congested emergency room. the aircon was also broken then, windows splayed open.

blood starts spewing through the tubes attached to his iv bag. hyperventilating, he thinks, what was on that fucking needle?

and then something— something writhes in his wrist.

[il3x]

actually, never mind, I'm gonna post the uriel rambling now. uh. tw for mentions of child abuse.

uriel clements my favourite little guy of all time ever. i rewatched the beach episode today and OUGH. tiny little freak who was made in a lab to be annoying and has been treated So Badly all of the time by everyone. he's like if jean-paul was fourteen and LARPed as a CEO. i want to give him a hug.

like it's inherently very fucking funny to imagine this little eidetic memory motherfucker following you around popping his head up around rocks and suchlike like a jack-in-the-box but the beach episode is a comedic take on the characters' authentic personalities. their traits are exaggerated for comedy. beach episode is distilled characterisation! this is the same stealth-factor that made him come off as creepy in canon. and with the later implications that uriel was physically abused this becomes also very fucking sad. guy who melts into the background when you look at him because it's not safe for him to stand out. guy who decides to express "I like you" by [stalks you] and "I want an ice cream" by [stares at you], in light of Isaac's fucking attitude (spoilers but he Really Does Not Care what his kids want), becomes guy who doesn't express anything he wants because he has learnt that no one cares. my god. and on the 'shitawful social skills' and 'very good at quickly becoming unobtrusive' front, i mean. there's Also the fact that he is used as a tape recorder by his dad. more notably he is used as a bug. little guy who is constantly inserted into situations where his very presence and purpose are Infuriating to Everyone because he is Fucking Spying On Them so he's just accustomed to everyone hating him. made in a lab to be annoying (;-;).

just. idk. i think there's something particularly insidious about casting your child in a role (tool of corporate espionage) that will inevitably draw hostility and make everyone view him as "that little bugger" and an obstacle to be eliminated. i think that's a devastatingly effective manner to make sure no one recognises him for what he is: a kid in an abusive situation. they're so busy pre-emptively countering Uriel the Spy that no one thinks "hold up, that's a 14 year old and this family dynamic is FUCKED". it's vaguely similar to how heartbreaker from worm uses his kids as tools of violence, though that's much more extreme.

and now thinkigm about how eve in canon was the one to go "hold up, that's a 14 year old in need of medical assistance" and reach out to him. and. OUGH... eve... ;-; <3 i love you eve i would also follow you around for 3 hours <3

and this already shows! thinking about how beach episode uriel tagged along after eve so much and eventually gave her his number because 'she seemed friendly' and thinking about distilled characterisation and thinking about how uriel Still pissed eve off So Much but she humoured him the way an average adult would an average child, because she's a nice person, and FUCK. little guy for whom being treated like a kid instead of a corporate weapon is so revolutionarily kind that he is Never Ever Gonna Let This Person Go because they're clearly one in a million. I'll have to rewatch the main canon, but I do wonder whether any of Uriel's fascination with Eve was just liking for someone who showed him kindness in accordance with nurse bot procedures. This could tie in to the "no one cares what he wants" thing; guy who digs up blackmail on you to force you into being nice to him and/or help him out of a shit situation because it doesn't even cross his mind that you'd do so without being forced. [Cough.] Kenzie Martin energy. I so badly want to make them go panopticon vs panopticon.

I think beach episode exposes a very real loneliness in Uriel. And a very real desire to be helpful. Which now has me wondering how much of that was biologically hard-coded into him to make him more obedient...

anyways. yeag. fascinating little guy. [sobbing]

[burning-sol]

insert bugs cleaning themselves and their colonies all the time and rolan definitely inheriting that trait and getting really upset when things aren't kept clean. the classic "oh he's just a bit uptight, he's a lawyer, whatever whatever, its in character" meanwhile he is pulling out hairspray and a lighter to destroy whatever trace of mould he finds like he's NOT normal about it. even more than a regular person he sees a mess and his brain starts firing 50 different alarms. also, quite noticable after finding out he's bugged, he gets just a LITTLE more disorientated when he hasn't cleaned himself in a while. which happens like never but it is of note. bug anatomy go brr.

anyways so this is the complete opposite of rand who doesnt stay clean ever and is gross and is a firm believer of the 5 second rule like "eh its still salvagable" and rolan slaps his gross ass sandwich out of his hand before he can take a bite. this wasnt an issue when they were younger and not living together for extended periods of time but um??? moving in together????? oh they IMMEDIATELY started having issues. rolan gets it like "oh you cant get out of bed and do shit? i understand that" but also if it goes too far he's taking things into his own hands im throwing your gross bong out the window and forcing you into the bath. then rand gets annoyed too like "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK" but after complaining he then cuddles up to rolan later and is happy like "im glad someone is here to help me with difficult stuff like this, even if it's because he is a weirdo freak".

imagining little moment in my head where rolan is like "if you're having trouble managing your mess and stuff then just tell me!! i dont mind helping!!" and rand tries not to have this whole emotional moment because he's been struggling with this shit for so long and didnt realise how much he needed help until rolan offered it.

sorry gay neurodivergent ppl in my head and they're making out.