#insert [and they were both bottoms] meme

[outlanderalien]

Izzy x Ricky premises (I might write):

. Undead!Izzy hunts Ricky down and they become nemeses that fuck nasty between battles

. Izzy is taken captive by the navy, Ricky bothers him daily until the sexual tension overflows and they fuck but Izzy uses it as an opportunity to escape, leaving Ricky feeling jilted.

. Ricky is taken captive by the revenge, Izzy bullies him daily until they decide to fuck (with instant regret)

. Ricky chooses to spare Izzy and bring him with him, but his ship is destroyed in a battle. The two are left stranded and survival demands they work together

[brokendreamscreation-moved]

“This game is fun~” - (taususfeathers) 😉

“Golly you sure got a lot of bingos indeed!” Counting them up, Lucid offers 6 candies. “You are super sweet, Hermes. Here’s some treats to match!”

[aheckinmess]

Day Twenty-One: Kinktober 2024 - MHA Edition

Read on AO3.

Tags/Warnings: Hate Fuck, Female Reader, Fingering, Grinding, Hickeys, Biting, Degradation Kink - A Bit, Pro Hero Bakugo, Pro Hero Reader, Katsuki Bakugo, Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight, Dynamight, Bakugo Shits On Your Technique, You Don't Take It Lying Down, Both of You Turn Feral, Insert Markiplier Meme, "And if You EVER Come in Here Again With a Goddamn Opinion, I'll Shove It So Far Up Your Ass It'll Never See the Light of Day Again," Weather's Nice, Aged Up, Of Course, My Sleep Deprivation Demon Now Fears Me

Word Count: 550 words

Summary: You really, really hate Bakugo.

Day Twenty-One: Hate Fuck -> Katsuki Bakugo

Bakugo is a bastard and he knows it.

Every hard stare, every grind of his teeth – he fucking pisses you off and even though he knows it, he’s still an asshole to you. Especially because he knows it.

“Your technique is sloppy, you damn extra!” He sneers. 

“Your attitude is sloppy, bitch.” You blow him a kiss. “Besides, if you’d moved faster, we might have caught the villain.”

“You were here before me, dumbass! If anyone needs to be faster it’s you!” He’s chest to chest with you, sweat glistening on his neck as he works himself up again.

“I don’t recall asking for your goddamn opinion anyway, Dynamight!” 

When he grabs you by the neck and kisses you, your entire body lurches. Your hormones beg to get closer, but on principle you rear back and deck him in the face.

In the next move, you grasp the collar of his costume and yank his bloody, smirking face forward to kiss him again. God, he might be an asshole but he exudes sex appeal.

He slams you back against the wall, his teeth digging into your flesh and leaving love marks there, despite the definitive lack of love between you two. You’re just aching to put him in his place. This is a challenge. A feral competition to force each other into a vulnerable position.

You want him to need you.

The only problem is that you need him, too. Your fingers claw at any bare skin you can find, lingering around his shoulders and along his neck. As your hips grind against his covered cock, his greedy hand rubs between your legs. The skin tight costume leaves little to the imagination as it allows you to experience his rough touch through the thin fabric.

However, the costume causes some difficulty when he goes to reach inside your bottoms. With a growl – Bakugo is never one to be shown up, after all – he forces his hand in until his fingers greet the wet puddle you’ve made for him.

“You like this, huh?”

“I don’t see why not. Your cock certainly seems to like it.” You grip his hair and pull back, exposing his throat to you while you grind against his hidden erection.

You work on sucking a hickey into his neck while his finger makes quick work of your sensitive nub. He starts slow and works up to teasing flicks until you’re squealing – you arch into the wall and leave scratch marks on his back as he nearly tips you over the edge.

When you finally shatter, he silences your loud shrieks with his free hand. His eyes never leave yours as you ride through an angry amalgamation of ardent hatred and underlying affection.

Dammit, you will not fall in love with this man!

You reach for his cock next, determined to return the favor and prove you’re more than capable of making him feel just as good…but he stops you.

“Meet me at my place tomorrow night.” He demands, holding out his hand for your phone and punching in the address before returning it. “And make sure your technique at sex is better than your technique at fighting villains.”

You watch him leave with a reminder flaring in your head.

Bakugo is a bastard and he knows it.

Continue with Day 22

Tag List: @loll82829, @enigma-and-oasis

Interested in JJK, too? Check out Day 21 with Geto.

[bitchapalooza]

Zosan but they both prefer to bottom so it's always a fight who gets to bottom this time (and they're so serious about it for literally no reason, you'd think one of them killed the other's hamster, but nah it's mostly foreplay lmao)

(insert "and they were both bottoms" meme)

[blackynsupremacy]

redk!clark shenanigans part 3

part 1

part 2

taglist: @afrogirl3005 @rosiestalez @stereotypicalbarbie

synopsis : redk!clark is the type of dude when you drop him first (because you’re honestly just fed up!) and you’re finally in a good place in life, he would text you out of the blue to reel you back in. he doesn’t really want you to walk out of his life, so you’re not getting rid of him that easily, girl.

if you’ve ever seen those memes with future texting, it’s those type of vibes.

pairings: redk!clark x fem! y/n (i’m imagining her as meagan good again. reader can do a self insert or use another fc. the choice is yours and i want to be inclusive!)

fandom: smallville (2001-2011)

also featuring: chloe sullivan and kate ross (pete’s twin sister/oc fc: tatyana ali)

warnings: long asf, swearing, redk!clark, toxic behavior, a little bit of angst, some suggestiveness,manipulation, implied hook up, y/n regretting her decisions, y/n being weak in the knees again!

congratulations to y/n for finally dropping redk!clark kent, smallville’s local gentleman turned badass and player. anywho, her skin is glowing, her grades are showing tremendous improvement, and life has just been better in general. she’s smiling a lot more!

she’s not going through this alone though. fortunately, she has chloe sullivan and kate ross to help y/n properly get over him. they haven’t seen him around in a few days. if they did happen to run into clark at school or around town and he asks about her whereabouts, they would make up an excuse that she was really busy with (an extracurricular/job) or she got a new number. he’s gonna find out soon enough that was some bullshit.

it’s a friday night and the girls decided it was time to get dolled up and go out to celebrate y/n’s freedom from clark’s fuckery. they’re all chatting and filling their table with laughter when y/n hears her cell phone vibrate. she flips open the device and looks at her text messages, skimming through each word cueing her deep sigh and eye roll..here we go again. y/n closes the phone down and places it back in her purse. it vibrates again and again..now kate and chloe are getting suspicious, giving each other knowing looks. let’s just say that the silence was indeed loud.

“so, uh…who’s blowing up your phone at this hour?” chloe inquired, tilting her head.

“it’s just my mom reminding me to do something when i get home.” y/n replied as she shrugged her shoulders to ease the tension.

“oh, so she’s reminding you five times?” kate asked, her elbow on the table with her chin resting on her knuckle. she raised a brow then narrowed her eyes before finally addressing the elephant in the room.

“it’s clark, isn’t it?”

“no.”

“bullshit!” the girls exclaimed.

“fine! it was clark. he said he hated how things ended between us and that he was blind to how really important i was to him. he also said that without me, he feels so weak.” y/n confessed.

these were his words. he wasn’t blind to shit considering he has x-ray vision. not weak either because the guy had super strength.

chloe and kate couldn’t help but to roll their eyes and shake their heads at this foolishness, but who were they to judge? they both fell for the charming farm boy they grew up with at one point during their lives. hell, they even both attempted to cross that line of confession and dating him for real, but they let that go to preserve their friendship with each other and with clark. it’s messy, but it was clark kent. smallville’s local knight in shining armor. how could any girl let go of him completely once they’ve been attached? it was just his new bold and unpredictable attitude that rubbed them the wrong way. hopefully it’s just a phase.

“he also said to meet at his place so we could talk things over. if he really wants us to work things out, i should be there in the next 10 minutes…” with each word, the volume of y/n’s voice started to diminish as she looked around and bit at her bottom lip to avoid the awkward, yet frustrated glares of her friends. “maybe i should go to hear him out and get some closure…”

“wait, wait, wait!”, chloe objected shaking her head. “if my memory serves, you said that last time was the last time. did you not catch him in another lie of him seeing lana before taking you out, correct?”

“….yes, but he sorta made it up to me.” y/n’s face heated up as her mind wandered to the semi-passionate endeavor her and clark shared in her bedroom after the argument that concluded their last date. she thanked the Lord above that her parents were out of town and that clark respected her enough to not push any further than what she was comfortable with. kate and chloe's eyes widened from sudden realization to complete astonishment.

"before you guys shame me, no, we didn’t go that far, but you know how guys are always saying i can’t drop clark due to the fact that i’m always wrapped around his finger?”

(reference to pt 2 iykyk)

y/n recited her friends past warnings as her fingers signaled air quotation marks.

“i guess you can say that literally and figuratively.”

silence filled the trio once more before they all heard another vibration. y/n flipped open her device and checked her text messages again. her eyes skimmed over the text for a few seconds before her fingertips made a few sounds to type a response to the person on the other end. after one press of the “send” button, she stood to her feet and pushed in the chair before greeting her friends a formal goodbye, “that was mom again. she said she needs me home asap. i’ll catch you guys at school?” the girls gave her nod and a “mhm!” before they watched their friend power walk out of the restaurant to her parked honda accord.

after they saw the car speed off into the night, kate sarcastically chuckled and shook her head before gazing at chloe, finally breaking the silence.

“we both know damn well that she went to go meet up with clark right?”

“i know…” chloe replied.

“yeah.” kate nodded and gazed below at the ground with a tight lipped smile as she fiddled with her fingers.

meanwhile…

10 minutes. it sounds like a lot of time, but not so much when you’re deciding on which path to take. right for the l/n’s house, left for the kent’s. her eyes darted in both directions, her heart thumping in her chest. it was only a matter of time before she could switch the turn signal up or down. she began to think. think of the times her friends were there for her at her lowest. the temper tantrums. the late night rants on the phone. the fake smiles for her parents. the tears that soaked her pillow. all because of him. his arrogance, his brutal honesty yet he lies, his shameless flirtation with other women. his eyes…his words…his kiss…his touch…his affection. damn, damn, damn! her mind was finally made up. she put the car in drive and made the turn onto the path of her destination for the night.

“hey, look, i got your messages. you said you wanted to talk things over, so let’s talk, clark.”

y/n stood with her arms crossed against her chest and faced the male before her standing outside the kent house as if he were expecting her already. he looked comfortable in his black tank top and grey sweatpants with his hands in the pockets. even under the moonlight, y/n could still see that same lady-killing smile of his and icy, blue eyes that she adored so much that it made her heart swell.

“it’s about time you showed up, beautiful. you don’t know how much i’ve missed you lately.” he pulled his pink lips into a smirk and took a few steps closer to her as his eyes never did pull away from her own. “i don’t think talking out here in the dark would do us any good, so how about we go somewhere more quiet and…” he took a beat of pause, “private.” tilting his head in the direction of his loft in the barn.

y/n sighed, licked her lips, and started walking in the direction towards clark’s loft with her arms still crossed. little did she know that his eyes carefully zeroed in on the sway of her hips with each step she took and possibly even the sultry, black matching set underneath her clothes.

oh, this was going to be a long night.

[yesterdays-xkcd]

That helmet won't save him.

Secretary: Part 2 [Explained]

Transcript

[Blondie as a news anchor sitting behind a desk is reading from a paper she holds in her hands. There is a picture of Black Hat on a screen behind her. There is a caption below the picture.] Blondie: Breaking news—the President has made a nomination to the new post of Internet Secretary. We know little about the man, shown here. Caption: Possibly a haberdasher?

[Blondie keeps talking over a scene showing her standing with a microphone in front of a water-filled moat that has been dug between the road and a house. A small stair up to the house is just on the other side of the moat. Behind her is Cueball with a large TV camera on his shoulder pointing towards her and the house.] Blondie (narrating): Attempts to reach the nominee at home were unsuccessful. Blondie: What the hell kind of apartment has a moat?

[Back to Blondie behind her desk, the paper is gone, and she leans one arm on the desk. There is no screen behind her.] Blondie: To understand the culture from which he came — and which he may soon administer — we sent a reporter to what we're told is the source of that culture. Blondie: Tom?

[This panel is much larger than the three previous panels and partly hidden behind the last. Tom, looking like Cueball with a military helmet with camouflage marks strapped under his chin, holds a large microphone in front of him while standing in front of a large screen. The screen shows a message board with four picture posts. Each picture has a text to the right, but those are unreadable scribbles. The top drawing is of a man with wild hair who holds out his hands with thumbs up. The next is text. Then there is a circle with a smaller circle in the middle and at the bottom what appears to be a Cueball-like man with a fencing mask. Blondie still speaks to him from off-panel left.] Tom: I'm coming to you live from the 4chan /b/ board. Despite the tube cloggage, nascent memes are flying fast and furious. Blondie (off-panel): Why are you wearing a helmet, Tom? Tom: I'm not sure. Image with text only: /b/

[Ponytail is sitting in front of a large control unit using the two levers coming out of it from below two buttons that are again below the lit screen. A voice comes from off-panel left. Above the top of the panels frame, there is a frame with a caption:] Meanwhile in Ron Paul's blimp. Ron Paul (off-panel): Ahoy! What news of the blogs?

[Zoom out showing Ponytail, who has turned around on her office chair away from the controls towards Ron Paul drawn like Cueball but with a cane. She holds up a piece of paper with a small square insert visible at the top. Apart from that, it is white.] Ponytail: Dr. Paul! The President's named his nominee! Ron Paul: It's not me?

[Ron Paul's blimp is shown from the outside. His voice can be seen coming from the airship. There is text on the blimp, with the four letters after the first written mirrored to spell another word.] Ron Paul (from inside the blimp): Wait! I remember that guy from the campaign! He's a notorious troll! Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION

[Back inside the blimp, Ron Paul points to Ponytail, while his other hand is lifted to his chin. His cane leans against his legs. Ponytail looks at him from her chair, the paper now held in her lap.] Ron Paul: They mustn't put him in charge. Quick, call the capitol!

[Ponytail turns around on her chair towards the controls and takes hold of one of the sticks. Ron Paul has taken the cane in his hand again.] Ponytail: Can't, sir. The tubes just went down completely. Ron Paul: Blast!

[Ponytail now holds onto both sticks as Ron Paul lifts his cane up into the air pointing away from her up and right.] Ron Paul: Then we'll go ourselves. Full speed ahead!

[A full view of the blimp hanging in the air to the left over a broad landscape. There seems to be a small lake just in front of the blimp. The horizon is shown all along this full width panel, and after the lake, there are five small mountain peaks, two behind the three in front. After the last of these, there follow one more peak and a small mound. Features are shown on the ground. In the air in front of the blimp, there are a small cloud inside the panel at the end of the lake and a large cloud breaking the upper frame over the end of the five mountains stretching over the next peak and mound.]

[Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely, taking the tip clearly over the lake. Beat panel #1]

[Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely again. Beat panel #2]

[Same image, but now the two speak from within the blimp. The blimp has again advanced minutely so the gondola below the blimp is now also almost at the edge of the lake.] Ron Paul: I said full speed! Ponytail: It's a blimp, sir.

[slashers-sister]

(This is something that happened, so I'm making a story, just imagine phones exist back then for the sake of this story)

Imagine you are on your phone on Pinterest, you found it fun, why?

Organizing, making cute and or deranged unsettling (Possibly ones about cannibalism people think are "AeStHeTiC!1! 😍🤪", you always did question which ones where and weren't actual cannibals..) moodboards.

Look, ya are quite lonely, and your brothers aren't always fun.

Actually you're in the barn hiding from your chores at the moment. You really didn't want to clean up all those knives :(

You like to keep random things, your room is FULL of stuff you've found around the farm. You got a lot of your personality from the twins, and Bubba. You spent most of your time with them.

..or stuff you've taken but that's besides the point!

You had bottles from 1947, your oldest glass bottle is from 1937! You also have old pins, which you and your brother Chop-Top do have a rivalry over who has the coolest.. Nubbins is the mediator, saying usually something along the lines of "Ya both tied, they are both equally cool." In reality he just can't choose who he likes more sometimes

You were on your phone, you heard Drayton calling. Oh no. You put it on a hay bale and immediately jump down from the hayloft. It's.. big but you fuck around and find out too often and have quite a high pain and heat tolerance.

"(Insert your full legal name), Get yer ass out here!"

To say your stomach filled with fear was definitely.. an understatement.

What did you do to piss off Drayton now? No idea but you went to go see what he needed. Hoping you weren't in for a beating on the head or back, why? He didn't whip you, he smacked your back so hard with a broom you heard a CRUNCH. Yes, you were fine. Well mostly, definitely traumatized a wee bit.

——————————————————————————

Meanwhile, guess who also had chores in the barn! The twins!

Guess who didn't lock, sign out, and brick their phone? You!!

Immediately they are nosey. What's their precious little-

..They didn't find porn, or anything like that.

Nah they just found the Spotify account, the notepad, which you definitely had a few issues. Specifically anger issues, you had some notepads you had to take 5 minutes to scroll through bottom too.

Your Pinterest was full of weird stuff. Odd animal pictures that look weirdly funny and distorted? Funny lil cannibalism boards, memes, a mountain of memes because you are either chronically yeehaw or chronically online, take that as you will.

They found a few moodboards about them, about our(? Your? Their? Ya get the point) Brother Drayton. Honestly it matched his personality.

Bubba's was cute and full of taxidermied roadkill, you had made both of theirs earlier, and rearranged it perfectly.

Then they found theirs.

When Nubbins saw it, you even had a picture of his knife and camera almost exactly, how cool!

You had Chop-Top's favorite band, maybe you do listen!

Then Chop-Top started hysterically laughing.

"W-w-what? What's s-so funny?"

Chop-Top gladly pointed it out.

Nubbins couldn't tell if he should laugh, cry, be offended, or plot your murder.

Meanwhile Chop-Top is dying (almost literally) of laughter. "That is the funniest shit I've ever seen her do, that takes the meat!" (You guys often don't say "take the cake", but "take the meat" as a joke.)

Fun fact, nobody actually went to school.. you guys were all homeschooled by big bro dray.

Chop-Top calmed his twin down after a while, still looking through the board, you had found many things you thought they would, it did like. You got almost everything right.

They are definitely plotting how they both can get you back tho.

——————————————————————————

No, Drayton wasn't too pissed off. You just forgot to tell him where you were, and scared the ever-loving shit out of this poor man.

Once you got back to the barn, you climbed to the hayloft.. and noticed your phone was moved. You immediately went through it, but surprisingly nothing was out of the ordinary.. except your notepad had a new note.

"you'll end up worse<3"

Cheeky little bi-

You silently live in fear waiting for what prank they'll do next :(

[buggyboba]

This Will Be The Day

── •✧• ──

A/N: Hello yes, lesbian sword fight…that is all. The prompt is from this list; x.  I listened to the RWBY soundtrack, and this is the result…it wasn’t going to be a sword fight in the beginning, but listen….The Master is a swordsman, ergo Missy is a swordsman, and Reader is well….reader, enjoy!~ This has been another episode of Buggy pulling from other media, but this time I haven’t actually listened to the masterful audio drama but shut up sword fight in a castle. 

Also, someone please send help, I said it was going to be a drabble, it’s a whole ass short story….insert the babadook meme here ‘Why can’t you be normal’ ‘screaming’

Pairing | Missy x Fem!reader.

TW| I don’t think there is any real ones, please let me know if I missed any, there are petnames. SPOILERS FOR THE MASTERFUL AUDIO DRAMA.

Wordcount| 4000

A03 Link | x

── •✧• ──

Things were quiet, which wasn’t terrible, but you knew a silent Missy was a dangerous one, as with her previous incarnation. So you slipped out of your room, checking the usual places that Missy would be. When you didn’t find her, you sighed and started towards the console room. As you entered the console room, so did she; only she was coming in the front through the tardis doors. The distinct smell of smoke from a fire hits your nose. Her usually pressed and perfect plum skirt was singed along the bottom and higher up; she had a bit of soot on her cheek. 

You moved to go take her umbrella, gloves, and hat, putting them where they went. The umbrella in the umbrella rack, the hat on the hat rack, and the gloves on the little shelf nearby. After a moment, she walked over to put her jacket on the rack too. The smell of smoke was heavy; what did she do—skip through a bonfire or something? 

“Nice stroll?” You grinned a bit. “Burn down any towns?” you teased, to which Missy raised an eyebrow, but then let a small little smirk escape. 

“Only a little one; well, there are going to be a few; I may have accidentally started a teensy little wildfire.” She gave a slight chuckle. 

“Missy! Accidently?” You sounded exasperated. “Why would you start a wildfire in Siberia?” you asked.

“Don’t worry, your pretty little head; while I was there, I thought, I haven’t taken you on a proper date lately,” she mused.

It was true, unfortunately. The last date you had got crashed by the Doctor and his companion, and the one before that, she took you to some really unsavory planet, where a plant almost ate you. Before that, it was 1940’s Paris. The one before that you were having dinner at a nice restaurant on Darillium, and Missy had taken you to see the singing towers, The Doctor and a woman had shown up but left you and Missy alone, and she made it a point to leave them alone. It was Christmas after all; that one wasn’t so bad, but still, needless to say, the last few dates had not been good; you both needed a good proper date. You looked at her and nodded. “Oh? Can I pick something this time?” you asked lightly. Missy seemed to think about it for a long time before she nodded. 

“Oh! Okay!” you said excitedly, racking your brain. “I want a picnic,” you decided. Missy looked almost offended. Out of everything you could pick, you decided on a mundane picnic? All of time and space, and you wanted to sit on a blanket and eat sandwiches? You were not allowed to pick the date again, but she would give you that. 

“What’s wrong with your face?” You asked, crossing your arms. 

“A picnic, who do you think I am? The Doctor? A picnic,” she muttered. 

“Yes, it would be nice to just sit down and relax, talk, and eat.” You spoke, trying to make your case for a picnic. 

“We do that when we eat dinner together.” Missy pointed out as she stalked towards the console past you, leaving you following her. “Why would you want to eat outside, fighting off bugs and the elements for your food….I could always release bugs into the dining room.” She teased, and you made a face.

“You wouldn’t; you don’t like bugs, and you wouldn’t want them to escape into the tardis.” You said.

“Yes, that’s true, but what is your interest in picnics?” She mused, her icy eyes sliding over you. 

“It’s romantic,” you said, nodding and leaning against the console next to her, watching Missy as Missy turned her attention back to the console. 

“I could think of other romantic things to do that don’t involve picnics.” She mused. “More private things,” she trailed off. 

“Mis! Fine, we have a picnic, but you pick the location; is that a fair compromise?” You asked softly, trying to find a middle ground. She was quiet for a few moments before she nodded. 

“Deal,” she purred out. “Now go make the lunch... at least pack something good,” she said, her hand grazing your hip as she pushed you off the console. 

“No, just because you said that, it’s going to be all jelly babies and crisps.” You laughed and moved away. You walked down the long hall, slipping into the kitchen. You immediately began taking out things to make simple sandwiches; you found some French bread, cheddar, and ham, and you found cream cheese and fruits. Which gave you an idea: you would make some sweet sandwiches and some savory ones. 

You would bring some strawberries along, wondering if you could find chocolate to go with them. You really wanted to make this romantic; you knew Missy had a secret soft spot for romantics. Even if she would never admit it, let alone never show it publicly, there had been things she had done for you that made you believe she liked them. Well, it was that or she was using manipulation, but you chose to decide it wasn’t that. 

She didn’t show love normally; it was more like a mix between a cat leaving presents and someone who was actually good at seduction. It was a mixed bag, but she kept things interesting. She was also very possessive when she brought you out for adventures; there were so many rules, and god forbid someone looked at you in a way she didn’t like. You had watched her disintegrate no less than six people this way, and she never mentioned it after it happened either. 

You made quick work of making the food for the picnic, wrapping everything carefully, searching the kitchen for anything to carry it in, and for once, Missy’s tardis seemed to be on your side because you found the perfect picnic basket. You packed everything you needed. You even snuck in some wine and some jelly babies and crisps, so those would be the first things she pulled out when you sat down. You were pleased by your little joke. 

You felt the rumble of the tardis moving; apparently, she had picked out a place. You heard her heels click by the kitchen, heading towards her room, no doubt to change. You should probably do that too; you wanted to look good for the date. You put the basket in the fridge just for now before quickly heading to your room to change into something comfortable since you were going to be outside, but something nice that Missy would be fine with being seen out in public with you. A nice little black summer dress and flats that you could walk in since you knew you would be carrying the picnic basket. 

You finished up getting ready. You moved to go fetch the basket, bringing one of your blankets with you and moved to wait in the console room. 

You heard the footfall, but no heels. You turned and blinked a few times, opening your mouth as you saw her. She wore a white ruffled top; the shoulders were still puffed but the sleeves were tight against her arms; she wore a pair of black pants; they were tight against her legs; she wore a black corset-like belt; she wore boots, but they weren't heeled. Her hair was pulled up, and a clip held it in a fanned-out ponytail. You had never seen her in anything else but her skirts; you didn't know she owned pants. She knew you were staring, and when you finally looked up to meet her eyes, she was smirking, making a motion with her mouth and hand to tell you to close your mouth as she walked past you to the console.

You closed your mouth and licked your lips subconsciously before you followed her a bit. “Should I put pants on?” That was the stupidest thing that could have slipped out of your mouth, but it was the only thing that wasn’t pining over her or questioning, How come you had never seen her in pants? And why was she so incredibly hot?

Missy snorted at your question, shaking her head. “Now now, my pet, I think your attire is fine. If I wanted you to change, I would tell you to do so, would I not?” She grinned a cat-like grin as she watched you open your mouth a few times to say something, but you shrugged and nodded instead. 

“But, um, you usually...” You spoke and pointed a bit at her outfit.

“Something wrong, dove?” She asked, to which you shook your head, and you finally noticed the long black case she had brought with her. 

“What’s that?” you asked. 

“You know not to ask questions you don’t really want to know the answers to.” She smiled and poked your nose with her red-painted nail. You recoiled a bit and sighed. "Plus, I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise,” she said with a self-satisfied grin. “You wanted a proper date; well, this will be better.” She gave a small nod, like she had picked the perfect location and had the perfect idea to elevate this silly little picnic you wanted her to go on with you. 

You frowned a bit but nodded. You would just have to wait and hope whatever it was wasn’t bad, or part of some other plot to destroy the doctor, or take over Earth, or Mars, or whatever Missy decided she wanted to do. It was fascinating watching her plan and scheme because you never knew what you were getting; sometimes she could be playful, and then other times it was very much watching a whole different person working, the intricate planning, and just how brilliant she was. You hoped whatever this was was playful and fun; you really needed a good date. 

You shifted the picnic basket and blanket before starting over towards the door. Missy followed after a sort of sway to her steps as if she were mentally rehearsing something; you didn’t question it. You opened the door and slipped out, pausing when you stepped out. It was not the picturesque setting you had hoped for; it was desolate and the sky was clear, but you could see so many stars and a rather large moon, maybe. You felt the air shift behind you. Missy stood behind you, leaning her chin on your shoulder as she looked up. 

“Rather pretty, isn’t it?” She breathed into your ear, and you could feel her lips press against your neck before she walked past you. “Kiamet, or what is left of it, but the sky isn’t why we are here.” She moved to motion behind her tardis, which had disguised itself as a lone burned tree. You looked and paused when you saw a large, imposing black castle. 

“Spooky,” you breathed out.

“Is it? Oh, come on, maybe there are ghosts, monsters, or Tim Curry in fishnets.” She chuckled and grabbed your hand, pulling you up the hill towards it. You kept up pretty well with her long strides. 

“So why are we here for a spooky castle?” You asked her. Her grip on your wrist slid down, so she was holding your hand, but neither one of you acknowledged it. 

“Adventure... and the courtyard is nice; we should have a few hours of peace.” She nodded once again. Her movements were swaying as she continued to practice something in her mind.

“A few hours of peace?” You asked lightly. 

“Oh yeah, collapsing universe, a double paradox now that I am here, bit sticky, but if I’ve timed it right, we won’t run into them.” She grinned a bit.

“Them?” You breathed out, suddenly not so sure about any of this.

"Oh, the other me’s, long story, silly little play for lives, I am ever so naughty and really can't be trusted even by my selves...don't worry about it, pet.” She nodded, pushing the door open to allow you entry. The castle was decorated in all black. “Don’t mind the decorations; he is so dramatic.” Missy shook her head. “I would have added pops of color—some purples, more red.” She hummed as she led you past rooms; it was like she could feel your questions rising, and she looked over you, her eyes dancing across your features. "Oh, don’t worry about it too much, my dear; I am fairly sure we will have enough time…”

“Okay, one, who is he? Who’s castle is this?” You spoke quietly as you took in the decor; it was very heavy, black, with deep reds and flashes of gold. It felt cold; whoever owned it must be a real –

"Oh, technically mine,” she said. “Well, long story, past regenerations, an arse of a man,” she smirked. “Maybe you remember the short-lived Harold Saxon?” 

“The ex-Prime Minster...” You asked, "Wait, you were the Prime Minister?" You shook your head in disbelief.

"Yes, I was incredibly charming, wasn’t I? I said all the right things. Well, I said some right things. Well, I mostly used high-grade, low-frequency mind control to suggest everyone vote for me, but I digress. Yes, you see, I had some adventures, and I was a bit of a naughty boy.” Missy grinned a bit in thought, looking around. “Killed the doctor, then called all my past regenerations here and didn’t invite me, which was so rude, and you know how I feel about manners.” Missy teased.

You were quiet for a few minutes, trying to think of what to say. You decided to skip over the fact that she said she killed the doctor and called previous regenerations, as fun as the thought could be, the implications that she had managed to kill the doctor as Saxon, and then called her past selves to celebrate. Well, not really celebrate; you remember her saying something earlier about stealing lives? and not being able to trust her past selves, paradoxes hurt your head, and you didn't know how Time Lords could handle remembering events during paradoxes.

“Well, I didn’t vote for you.” You smirked a bit watching her reaction; there seemed to be a few moments where she was deciding what to say to you. "Not my prime minister,” you teased in a playful manner.

“Now wait a minute.” She started. “I was pretty decent….did you not find me charming? You find me charming now.” She said, grabbing your arm a bit, slowing the pace of your walk. 

“Well, now you are a gorgeous woman, not a baby-faced man.” You nodded. 

“Babyfaced? Babyfaced?” She gave the most offended pout, her lips curled down, and an exaggerated frown. “Take that back,” she muttered a bit. You moved to keep walking, not knowing where you were going. “Hey! No, now, pet, you don’t get to walk away from that; only I’m allowed to be mean to my past selves,” she said.

“But, like you were, I mean, not my cup of tea, but you were a golden boy; everyone wanted you; at least that's how people were talking.” You laughed a bit. “Round babyface,” you doubled down, knowing it was a dangerous game, but it was thrilling to be able to tease her. 

"Yeah, it was a bit round... None the less, you should say sorry, or I’ll have to punish you.” She grinned. 

“You won’t; you like that I have some fight in me.” You replied. “I’m not a meek little thing; I bite.” You nodded softly.

"Yes, I suppose I do like the challenge, as long as you know your place at the end of the day.” She nodded, once again taking the lead and leading you out a large set of doors. You were once again outside; the courtyard was large; there was what looked like what used to be a fountain, but it had long since dried. You figured it might have been a beautiful courtyard at one point, so you decided to put the blanket down there, setting the basket down. You busied yourself fixing the blanket; there was a moment when you felt cold steel against the underside of your chin, forcing your gaze up. Slowly, you looked up, and you found yourself at the end of a rapier. Missy was staring at you with a stoic look until your eyes met, and a small smirk twitched at the corner of her mouth. 

“W…what?” you asked. She let the blade tip trail down your throat slowly, not hard enough to hurt but definitely catching your attention as she lightly stopped prodding the middle of your chest, but slightly to your left where your heart sat. “Mis?” you asked. 

“Get up.” She said firmly, there was almost a predatory growl at the end. You hurried to your feet as you felt her bump your hand with the hilt of another rapier. Your fingers curled around it, and the moment you took it, she gracefully moved away, spinning away and into a proper stance. 

“Missy, I don’t know how to swordfight,” you said quickly.

“Sink or swim, lovely. Nothing like a sexy sword fight to get the blood pumping, don't you agree, my dear?” She grinned, and in a movement, she was on the offensive. Her movements were fluid, like a dance, yet she held such learned power. You held the blade like you had seen in movies, but it didn’t feel right, and her blade crashed down against yours, forcing you to step back sloppily. She tutted at you, and with a gliding move, she swiped up, barely missing your cheek because you had flailed the hand guard up at the last moment. You tried to put space between Missy and yourself, watching her movements. You were not ready for this impromptu sword fight, but you had to admit that watching Missy was definitely doing something for you. While in your thoughts, Missy moved again. This time you saw it and moved to let the blade crash against hers, moving to lunge forward, but she moved her foot around yours, using your momentum against you. She pulled her foot back, causing you to fall forward, but she caught you by the arm, so you didn’t hit the ground. Her blade against your throat for a moment before she laughed. “You are bad at this.” 

“I’ve never sword-fought before!” You whined exasperatedly, and as you breathed more rapidly, the cold metal on your throat made you shiver.

“Reset, try again, watch me, follow my moves, calculate, feel the movement, and follow through.” She instructed and moved the blade, letting go of your arm, so you fell the rest of the way. You got back up and brushed yourself off before awkwardly holding the blade in a pose you thought could be proper, which only got an amused look from Missy before her eyes darkened again, and she was moving forward again on the offensive, forcing you into the defensive. The sound of metal whipping together filled the courtyard as you backpedaled, trying to watch her and the blade at the same time, trying to calculate. She was fast and fluid; this felt very one-sided, like a child with a wooden sword fighting Zorro or something. You tried to lunge and swing back, but she easily dodged or blocked; she peddled you all the way to the fountain, forcing you to move onto the lip, backing up more, and she followed gracefully. 

You tried to get her to go on the offensive by stabbing at her shoulder, but it didn’t matter; she used the guard to block and the pommel to shove you away from her. You almost fell off the lip of the fountain, but you caught yourself, feeling your ankle almost twist. You stood and were about to try to tap out when you felt a sting against your cheek, and a playfully teasing giggle came from the woman. 

You blinked and felt something thicker than water against your cheek; she cut you. How rude. Her smirk made it so much more: "I can't wait to wipe that wicked smirk off of your smug face." You moved forward with a bit more gusto and a lot more anger; your movements were not graceful but much stronger; you actually got her to step back a few times, putting her on the defensive for the first time; you were certainly not using the rapier in the intended fencing way, but that was fine; you had an excuse. “Oh…there she is, think you can? Then come on, wipe it off my face.” You heard Missy tease. "Are you mad? Are you so hurt that I gave you a love tap, my dearest?” She giggled again, "I had to give you a reason to fight back, not be such a scaredy cat... go on, hit me, try it lovely, make me sad and cry.” She said her tone was goading. You made valiant attempts, but she dodged them or parried them away. That was until you caught her arm. You both looked at each other in shock for a moment. Your eyes were wide as a dangerous smirk crossed her lips. "Well, now that we’ve both drawn blood, the fun can really begin.” She said, “This is fun…you are having fun being awful at this, I’m having fun watching you try so hard...now I am really going to play.” She said with a grin. You didn’t like the sound of that; you could tell she hadn’t been really going hard on you, but now you feared what would actually happen when she went after you for real. 

It happened so fast. She had locked your blade against hers, forcing you back off the fountain, staying right on you as you tried to keep backing up to unlock your blades. Your back hit the wall hard, and you felt her tighten the blades, pushing harder against you. You forgot how strong she was. The blades slid up almost against your throat. You did the only thing you could do. You leaned forward, suddenly throwing caution to the wind as you crashed your lips against hers. Your eyes closed as you felt her seem to think of what she wanted to do here before she kissed back. It was chaotic and so passionate, but there was biting and tongues. Her free hand grabbed you right above your hip, keeping you pinned as her tongue forced its way past your slightly parted lips. There was a soft sound that escaped your throat as she moved to pin you with her body instead. You managed to get your blade free before you tried to pull back, but she wouldn’t let you go. She let her blade go, and it clattered, causing you to jump. She grabbed yours roughly and yanked it from you. It also clattered on the floor, but then her hand was cupping the side of your neck. Before it slowly moved down, the pads of her fingers traced slow patterns down to your thigh before pushing past the hem of the skirt you wore. There was a moment you assumed she was going to go further, but she didn’t; instead, she stepped back just a bit, licking her lips some as she watched you open your eyes. Your skin was blushing, your body was hot, and your breath was heavy as you stared at her, her hand still lingering on your upper thigh, almost your hip under your skirt. 

“That was almost a good strategy,” she said calmly before she slipped her hand away as she moved to sit down on the almost forgotten picnic blanket. 

You stood there for a moment and then eventually moved to follow. Sitting down, she grinned at you, "Oh, my dear, you seem flushed. Just wait until I get you back to the Tardis.” She said in a playful tone, but you knew it was anything but playful; it was a promise of something more intimate.

She threw open the picnic basket and paused at the jelly babies and crisps. “You think you are funny,” she said, looking at you, and you nodded with a soft grin. 

“I am.” You nodded, ready to have a romantic picnic on a desolate planet in a collapsing universe, trying to race the clock before her past selves showed up. It was so crazy, but you were definitely looking forward to what she had planned for you when you got back to the Tardis. 

[zerosuitsammi3]

I'd say smash except (insert "and so they were both bottoms" meme)

Come off anon and smash me like a real bottom!

Also im a switch 😉

[f1nns1deblog]

(meme stolen from u/FeweF8's post)

If you've seen photos of F1nn with incredibly realistic looking cleavage:

but have also seen photos of him that show he's flat-chested:

you may be wondering how he can do both, especially since he isn't currently on any form of HRT.

Well, wonder no more! F1nn's cleavage is indeed made using his own flat chest, but it's been clamped into position using a Misses Kisses "strapless", backless bra!

Here's what one version of these contraptions looks like on a person with an endowed chest:

F1nn's model is slightly different from this one as it features a straight bar directly below his cleavage. (F1nn purchased his multiple years ago, so all current models may be different from the exact one he uses!)

Once F1nn is strapped into this contraption, he layers a bra over it so that he can slide in whichever bra inserts were on sale on Amazon to fill out the bottom and outer sides of each cup. Depending on the day, he might finish the look with a bit of contour makeup brushed down the center cleft to make it appear deeper, something even the Kardashian girls have been known to do.

Now, F1nn has employed other methods of mammary manifestation! Drag fans will be familiar with the concept of a breast plate, as seen here on F1nn:

However, F1nn hates wearing them because of how hard they are to put on and take off, how hot and sweaty they get, and how they limit which outfits he can wear due to having to hide the neck and shoulder seams.

Now, the Misses Kisses mechanism isn't the most comfortable, either, to the point that F1nn tends to take it off after a few hours of streaming. This is why streams featuring F1nn with visible cleavage aren't all that common. Instead, F1nn's more likely to either wear a cleavage-hiding top and pop on stick-on breast forms with or without a bra, as seen here:

or, and far more often, he'll simply let the built-in padding of his bra or outfit do the work without any additional fillers, as seen here:

(Transparency note: F1nn's exact process for each of these example photos may be slightly different from what I've described! We only know what he's mentioned on stream, and he's never given a step-by-step tutorial as that would likely get him banned on twitch or censored on youtube.)

[mere-mordel]

prompted by @volskayadottxt , here are some of my headcanons for sojourn/junker queen..... my beloveds..............

also these are based on the storyline i have for my soj/JQ fanfic, which you can read the current 5 chapters of HERE !

Originally did not like each other over drastic differences in life ideologies (JQ’s “every man for himself” and Sojourn’s “Fight for the protection of others”). But by working together after their original meeting and subsequent missions, they came to an understanding of how each other adopted these stances based on their personal experiences growing up

they’re friends for a few years before dating, learning a lot about each other’s likes, dislikes, quirks, and opinions over that period

Pre-relationship, JQ instigates a lot of flirty stuff but Sojourn chalks it up to “Ah there she goes again, that kidder haha” because she kinda does it to everyone and Sojourn would only occasionally respond back with something equally as flirty in an obviously joking manner.

Sojourn initiated their first kiss, but JQ turns out to be very affectionate in terms of kissing and physical intimacy as she was much more casual with it when dating men and women in the past. Sojourn doesn’t have much experience being in a relationship due to focusing more on her career in the military.

JQ sits with Sojourn in the Overwatch headquarter's workshop/garage when Sojourn is fine-tuning her cybernetic limbs or checking for damage. She will ramble on about ideas for new extremely unrealistic weapon/body augments that she thinks would look cool as hell in battle. Sojourn will listen while she works and humor JQ’s ideas with questions about how exactly they would work or be made

Always casually touching, like leaning against one another when they watch TV together in the HQ break/rec room or hooking their arms together in crowds to avoid being separated. Physical contact just becomes a common occurrence once they’ve been friends for a while

Sojourn likes to mess with JQ’s hair when its not braided and styled, JQ likes to hold and examine Sojourn’s hands and run her thumb over the intricate mechanics between her palm and fingers

They each bring out something in the other. JQ’s confident “fuck what anyone else thinks” attitude encourages Sojourn to be less reserved. Soj’s mindfulness helps JQ stop and think about what she’s doing. However, these traits can also cause them to not see eye-to-eye in certain situations.

JQ was VERY nervous about meeting Sojourn’s sister, Valentine, and the rest her family during their first holiday trip together as a couple but Sojourn’s family loves JQ (although they do think she’s a bit odd upon being introduced)

JQ thinks Sojourn has a very cute pouting face, mayhaps she does small things that irk her just to see it

Sojourn likes how goofy and animated JQ can get with her body language when she’s telling stories

Neither of them wants children or to be parents to anything besides Sojourn’s dog, Murphy

*insert the “and so… they were both bottoms” meme but replace the word “bottoms” with “tops”*

*Sojourn and JQ going out for lunch at a local restaurant*

Soj: “aw man, i said i didnt want pickles but that’s alright, i’ll just-”

JQ: *already shoving the restaurant kitchen door open* “She Said She Didn’t Want Pickles”

Alexa, play "Soft Bitch" by Rio Romeo

[manyothermusingsofmine]

Strings Painfully Attached || Drabble

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3   Wordcount: 1880 Warnings: Nothing but angsty feels here Authors Note: "Thank you, for the dance. I won't forget it." hAHAHAHA OW. -insert emotional damage meme here-

Summary: After having to, again, romantically reject someone she only sees as a good and close friend, Willow is struggling to process feeling like the bad guy for having to state her boundaries. And the only one who notices she's not doing as well as she likes to (badly) pretend she does, is Halsin

------------------------------------------------

It was incredibly late at night at the last light inn. Most people had turned in for the night, including the chaotic bunch of people that had gotten roped into the inn last. Halsin was among them, and also one of the rare few still awake as thoughts of Thaniel haunted his mind. With a quiet sigh, he decided to look for some company in the hopes of easing his mind for a little while. And where better to find company than at the bar?

He greeted Wyll on the way there, as the latter went down the hallway and turned into one of the rooms to call it a night. At the bar sat Astarion and Willow, seemingly enjoying each other's company in silence while sipping from their mugs of ale. Well... enjoying?

Looking at the purple tiefling again, something about her body language gave away to Halsin that she was incredibly tense, occasionally looking into the hallway behind him before looking into her mug. He decided to not bring it up, sitting down next to the pale elf instead to give her some space as he also ordered a drink.

"So, anything new?" Halsin asked

"Not really," Astarion answered, and Halsin couldn't deny that he had actually wanted the answer from Willow. Still, he decided to listen.

"We were discussing a plan of attack earlier, when Willow told me she wanted to just sit at the bar for a spell and think about what to do next. Or at least, which problem we should tackle first."

Willow just nodded, still staring into the liquid in the mug, as if she was hoping to find an answer written on the bottom of it if she just looked hard enough. In a moment that seemed to take a lot more thought than it should, she carefully lifted up the mug to her lips to take a sip.

"We were talking about maybe splitting up the group so we can cover more ground. Willow seems keen on keeping you, me and Karlach around herself, so in any case we should assign someone to keep the rest occupied while we're exploring. And out of everyone there, my vote is on the only one with some semblance of sense, Wyll-"

Both men flinched for a moment as wood collided with wood in a hard thud; the silence of the inn only amplifying the noise to the degree that it sharply interrupted Astarions out loud planning. They both looked to Willow for a second, and Halsin frowned as the tiefling trembled a little for a moment, before pulling all her emotions back in and exhaling out deeply for a moment.

She then suddenly got up, leaving the mug, and walked off to the doors that would lead her out of the inn.

"Where are you going?" Astarion called after her, making her pause halfway in her stride.

"Outside. I need air."

Halsin just frowned once more at how weirdly clipped and carefully monotone she kept her voice.

"Don't wander too far," Astarion teased, "I don't think the others would appreciate me having to rudely wake them because you got yourself into a bad part of these shadow cursed lands that we need to fish you out of."

Willow just muttered something about how she didn't plan on wandering off, before going outside and slamming the door behind her, the sound once again amplified in the quiet inn.

It stayed silent after that. For what felt like way too long, Halsin and Astarion sat in silence, with Halsin just intently looking at Astarion. Had this supposed coy vampire really not picked up on any of the signs that something was seriously bothering Willow?

It took a while, but Astarion was starting to feel the piercing gaze of the druid onto him, looking at him from his peripheral and then away again a few times before it actually started to bother him.

"..... What?!" he eventually asked in a snappy tone, the silence having turned weirdly eerie with Halsin staring at him like that.

"....... By the Oakfather," Halsin huffed, absolutely incredulous that Astarion really hadn't picked up on this, "You're dense, mate."

He ignored the indignant protesting noises from Astarion as he got up, deciding that if Astarion wasn't going to go and talk to Willow, he would. The girl was clearly in need of a friend to talk to, so he decided he would be that friend.

"What is that supposed to mean, Halsin?!"

Halsin just threw his hand up in a dismissive manner, signaling that he wasn't sticking around to listen to Astarions protesting.

He gently pushed open the doors of the inn, and just as gently closed them behind him. In the moon shield domed courtyard, the air was calm and quiet. Everyone was asleep, so the mood was incredibly serene. If you ignored the soft sobs coming from the front of the blacksmith's abode, that is.

Halsin quietly made his way over there, finding Willow balled up on the ground. She was sobbing into her knees, that she hugged close to herself. He sighed softly, kneeling down in front of her.

"What happened between you and Wyll?"

The sobbing stopped. Willow flinched, looking up in a panic as Halsin had immediately found the source of the issue.

"Oh, come now, Willow," he said, voice kept soft and comforting.

"You all but slammed your mug down on the table when Astarion said his name. Just because he couldn't see that reaction for what it is doesn't mean I can't. What happened?"

She bit her lip, as her eyes filled back up with tears. Halsins gaze softened, as he stayed in his kneeled position; he wasn't sure if she would appreciate any kind of physical comfort.

"What keeps happening," Willow eventually settled on, her voice betraying the amount of heartache she was currently feeling. She got up, slowly, the trembling of her body returning and becoming more intense by the moment as guilt, grief and frustration started to mix all together in a vessel that couldn't contain it anymore. A bucket full of water, with the last few drops put in making it spill over.

Something gave out.

"What fucking keeps happening! First it was with Gale- Gods, the weave is amazing. And feeling any kind of connection to that is like playing with divinity, it was a wonderful feeling! A feeling I had to cut short because he was looking at me in some kind of way like enjoying it in any sense meant I felt something more for him than I do.

Then it was Karlach. She's finally untouchable no more; and I am so incredibly happy for her. I want to be able to touch her, to give her high fives when she did an amazing job, to hug her when she clearly needs a hug- what I never wanted her to do is interpret that as me wanting to drag any of that physical nature across the line of platonic!

And Wyll..."

Her eyes filled with tears once more, as she clutched fistfuls of her hair into her hands as a tidal wave of guilt came in.

"Gods, Wyll, I just want him to be okay. He got dealt such a shitty hand, and I want to tear his patron to shreds for what he's been put through, and all I want for him is to find solace and company in our group. He is so smart, and so dependable- I finally had someone I could just talk to and get an objective opinion about what to do; he's like a brother to me. So when he asked me to dance, of course I wanted to dance! Of course, anything to see him happy, if only for a little while, but-"

Tears poured down her face like an unrelenting waterfall as she recalled the look on his face when she pulled back, drew her walls back up, and rejected him in a romantic sense. She felt like his disappointment, and yet gentlemanly acceptance of her choice, was seared into her mind.

She knew he would never hold it against her, or act like he was somehow entitled to a kind of affection that she didn't have for him. But that did absolutely nothing to lessen the guilt that had a death grip on her heart.

"I'm sick of it!" she snapped at Halsin, who had said nothing the whole time as he realised all of this needed to come out of her so she could finally start to process these emotions.

"I'm just trying to keep this group together, and alive! They deserve the world and I want nothing more than for all of them to be okay. To be okay, and be happy, and be my friends. My friends.

Gods, Halsin, I am so tired of trying to help them overcome the adversaries they're up against because I want them to be happy, only for them to read more into it than there is to it! I don't want that, I don't want to keep hurting them because I don't feel the way they do. I want them to be my friends, just my friends!

I know that what I want is something I can't have, and- they- they keep showing me what I could have, and I don't want it. Not like that! I... I... I'm a monster. I keep leading them on, making them think I love them- I do, but not like- I just- I don't-!"

She trembled, still, as frustration and anger took hold.

"I'm not kind. I try to be, Gods know I try to be. But, clearly, I'm not, if it keeps fucking being interpreted as something it's not! And the only one, the only one, who doesn't see my kindness as some inevitable, telltale sign of something obviously deeper and more valuable than platonic adoration.... is Astarion.

Am I stupid for preferring his coyness and teasing over everyone's direct pining for me? Maybe. Probably. But I prefer how that feels over constantly breaking the hearts of my friends. And I just, I- They- With...."

Grief won. Willow just started full on sobbing, the pain of her deep-seated guilt pouring out in full force as a lot of this had been building up since the group first got together. And pouring it out to Halsin, who had been watching from the sideline, and only just got more involved and thus had no stakes in the manner in any way?

He could see that it had been a storm she had been desperately needing to weather, without anyone to turn to in order to weather it out together. Everyone else was either too involved, or not emotionally available to listen. Halsin closed the gap between them, quietly and gently pulling her into a protective hug as she cried her heart out on his chest. He softly hushed her, smoothing her hair down with his free hand.

"It's alright, Willow," he whispered, deciding he would be the life buoy she could hang onto while she felt like she was drowning.

"You are kind, or all of this wouldn’t bother you as much as it clearly does. I promise you, it’s going to be alright."

[beigeshiba]

I love this political compass meme so much. Of all of them, it speaks deeply to my soul. Pretty much the only thing it'd need to be perfect is a grey crying centrist soyjack captioned "If we keep going the way we are now long enough, the consequences will form the apocalypse myth of the new religion of the tiny remnant of humanity which survives" See that blue one? That was me getting a fucking clue during covid. Hanging out with Indians and Turks was pretty much the main thing that kept me from losing my mind entirely and attempting a necromantic ritual to bring Temujin and Pol Pot back from the dead and unleash them upon a Melbourne that I felt sorely deserved their tender ministrations.

Because all the brown people understood that what was going on was bullshit while it felt like 90%+ of white people were all like "FOLLOWING ORDERS IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL KEEP US ALIVE WE MUST FOLLOW ALL OF THE ORDERS ALL OF THE TIME OR ELSE WE'LL DIE! THIS IS SOMEHOW PREFERABLE TO DYING"

That was another important realisation I had during the Covid lockdowns. I figured out where the hell the line was drawn in terms of "Circumstances of living I would regard as preferable to death". And you know, it's awfully liberating understanding consciously what you would prefer to die than endure on an indefinite basis. Because if you are the sort of person who will tolerate anything just in order to stay alive then eventually you will find yourself having to tolerate just about anything, because people who can tell you feel that way, will exploit that.

Being willing to die gives you power over people, never forget that.

What this ultimately has to do with me being politically "Catholic" is that to me, the Roman Church offers the ability for both the Blue and Red quadrants to get what they want.

Catholicism is a religion that simultaneously promotes both the focus on charity, compassion and equity that Red Quadrant (at their best) is trying to achieve, while also having the focus on Family, Hierarchy and Tradition that Blue Quadrant (at their best) is trying to achieve.

And if you've ever been to different Catholic parishes, you'll notice: The more trad it is, the younger and more ethnically diverse the parishoners. If you're wanting a more traditional lifestyle, you gotta learn to love multiculturalism. If you want a more charitable and equitable society which recognises the dignity of workers, you gotta learn to love religion.

As for bottom quadrants, sorry fellas as far as I can tell, y'all are shit outta luck. Karl Popper with his "Paradox of Tolerance" already made it abundantly clear that open societies will inevitably undermine the very social foundations required for them to perpetuate because they will just keep letting in people who aren't interested in living that way.

It's actually kinda hilarious seeing Popper Gang focus with laserlike intensity on the "Nazis and Chuds" and being too busy othering and fetishising migrants they let in to understand these are mostly people who find liberalism to be decadent and alienating. What we have now is incoherent screeching about (insert minority here) "White Supremacists" and that's too little, too late. You already brought in the people that Team Blue will bring into victory, to own Team Blue. Thanks Team Green, you really gave us the what for! As for Team Yellow, yeah that's a realisation I came to after I left university, started working in private enterprise and very quickly came to the unpleasant realisation that corporations are owned by sociopaths who simultaneously fancy themselves as the absolute rulers of their own private little fiefdom, while being utterly incapable of governing themselves in anything remotely approaching a sustainable fashion. Capitalism's mostly been able to function adequately due to government regulators being able to get out the bonk stick when companies do stuff which undermines the specific economic, social and legal environment required for market based economies to function. Lately there's been way too few companies getting bonked and way too many companies doing things which deserve a good thrashing so don't get too attached to capitalism, kids, it's going away! As Marylin Manson said: Capitalism has made it this way, old fashioned fascism will take it away! He was really only wrong about the old fashioned bit. Turns out fascism doesn't need to be socially conservative at all, it's actually just as happy murdering people for corporate profit when wrapped in a pride flag as it is when doing so with a Swastika.

[thetentaclecommander]

For Emoji ask: 🤡🙋‍♀️🦅

What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh? Bringing back Domesticity again, in the Reindeer Games chapter there was a scene where Nem and Jill run off into the woods to ‘frolic’ away from Sia. This scene also had the other BSAA operative watching them try to hide and not get caught. This forces the man to hide in fear in the hot sun and watch while Nemmy rails Jill very noisily and enthusiastically. He narrates this in the most offended ‘why God why I don’t get paid enough for this’ commentary, just fucking upset that this monsterboy is dicking her down and this woman is just ‘fuck harder, you can do so much better <3’ with topping from the bottom realness. The guy thinks such gems as ‘The Agent swore even from here he could see an outline of that bastard’s cockhead plumbing for gold-‘ and it makes me giggle so hard. Also, the reveal of how much of a trolly dick Nem is at the end knowingly making the agent wait till he’s done fucking his waifu to deal with him is just peak Nemesis is a mean dick that gives zero fucks about your existence but WILL end you for watching

Do any irl people know you write fanfic? Yup! They know about my monsterfucker tendencies too, I make no secret about it. Probs helps I run in kinky and nerd circles and have been for years, so they are very open about things. Also, helpsx2 some of them write their own fic!

Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants? I tend to write like this: 1. Idea usually a shower thought that seems neat to play with comes to mind 2. Write more around idea when not in shower, making idea move to become a basic main plot 3. Organize plot into outline* of planned actions so I can later flesh them out. This is where side plots begin to form/get added. 4. Filling in gaps (pantsing) between outlined sections with free writing/stream-of-consciousness writing to connect all sections to main plot 5. Edit/pare down for flow to have basic draft 6. Sit on it for a week or so and edit. *if fic is part of AU, insert elements of it to link them together Longer (3+ chapter/10k+ word) fics get the above outline treatment. For example, OaDWs has a set plan/outline and because it follows a larger plotted narrative across 5 other stories, while shorter fics like a gosling only seeks the warmth of his mother tends to be free written and not using the above process with small sections being shifted around because it’s shorter, is one extended scene/plot and has less moving parts to worry about. So I do basically both, but typically lean on outline more for long/more complicated/heavily plotted fics. Then there’s outliers like Necromancy where I freewrote all of it because all the words were prompts (so each was its own story), then went back and rearranged each chunk/rewrote a few/added 'connecting sections' to make a longer overarching narrative. Prompt memes I almost always write this way. So yeah, my writing process is a chaos-level blend of plotting/pantsing. Thanks for the ask!

(in response to this)

[michaels-office-hours]

Ok sorry got rant. Feel free to ignore. This is mostly for my lady.

My lovely wife keeps comparing herself to other women, and I’ve told her over and over she’s drop dead gorgeous to me. But NOPE “I don’t have [blank] that [insert female character I like] has. So it’s awful”

And the main one rn is the size of the lady’s boobs.

*you hear grumbling as I shuffle my papers about how stupid I think this is*

Sure, I like characters with big tits. Yor Forger and now Falin with the “WOAH HEY” meme. But it’s not for that.

NO HATE TO THOSE WHO IT IS FOR THAT! AGAIN IM MAKING A POUNT TO MY WIFE!!!

I like them because of the role they play in the group/over arching story? Or how the character acts while being the “HEY HOT GIRL HERE WATCH THE SHOW FOR HOT GIRLS” (will be honest… I do click for that… more to judge them though)

I grew up in a time where having that body type meant they wrote your character… a certain way. Usually the lady knew what she had and flaunted it. And was a bit of a bitch about it too. WHICH IS FINE! I actually really like some of those characters! But when it’s every. Single. One. It gets old. Especially when I don’t think some writers were handling it with the … tact… it needs.

Now I’m seeing ladies who are very much the thirst trap characters. But they either don’t know it? Or that isn’t everything to their character. In fact it’s usually more on the back burner now. Are they proud of it? Usually ranges depending on the character/story. Do they acknowledge they’re hot? Again. Ranges on the story.

Which is why I like it! I’ve known people who are “gifted” in that way. And if that isn’t the most mixed bag I’ve ever seen, idk what is. Some ladies hate it and think they’re ugly even with having a knockout figure, others know what they have but would rather die than get that much attention. Others still have the mentality of “yes? That’s me. Anyway I can also…” and they focus more on actions, while also excepting that they are very attractive.

THAT! Thats why I love those characters. Because surprisingly? I’m not all that into the whole “LADY GOT BIG KNOCKERS” thing.

Am I a dude? (Arguably yes… system crap lol).

Do I find them attractive? Yeah.

Do I think it’s the only thing we should focus on? Heck no. Have you seen Yor forger’s legs when she kicks? Dang dude. What the heck. That’s hot. And Falin has… BOTH HUMAN AND CHIMERA NOW?! APPRECIATE THE LADIES FOR THAT TOO! Also both have such cute hair in such different ways.

The reason my Love panics a bit, is she’s smaller chested than most… in the breast department. She has a big rib cage to hold lungs that can hold a note for hours though. Seriously. She can sing. (That’s some of what I don’t understand too. Doesn’t your rib cage mean your chest area is bigger???? Am I missing something?)

She has hair the color of midnight, and it sparkling in sun light in a way that looks like a thousand stars dancing across it. She’s hilarious, she’s kind, she has amazing legs. I stare at her way too much. Wear shorts pls. *cough* who said that? Anyway.

She gets hung up on one thing that isn’t “the height of femininity”. But that changes by fashion. Small breasts were a fashion too. Hourglass shape, pear shape, round, slim, short, tall. All have been fashionable if you look through history. And there are some hot ladies in history. Those Greek statues knew ladies. Aka pls stop starving yourself your gorgeous go eat pls I’m begging you.

I love my wife because she’s everything that makes me go crazy. I’m not saying everything I’d like to say cause I try to keep most of my weird… *ahem* wishes? Between me and her. But I absolutely love how she looks. She’s everything to me. She’s beautiful. She’s gorgeous. She drives me out of my mind. From the top of her up-done hair, to the bottom of her feet. I love her to death do us part. And nothing will change that, ever.

So if you’re ever worried that you aren’t attractive enough? You are. Just be you! Wear what you like, be who you are. Someone will find that mind destroyingly hot. I promise.

And yes this is all coming from the guy who thought he’d never love anyone. Turns out I’m Demi and just wanna see my wife everywhere. XD

[ingrindthe3rd]

Insert “They were both bottoms meme”

Not what I was thinking but ok