#insecure!dan

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Insecure (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

A Visit from the Lesters (ao3) - analester

Summary: "It’s the first time that Phil’s family is seeing the house since they moved, and they want to make a really good impression on them."

Or

Dan is a bit insecure and nervous about hanging out with Phil's family, even after 7 years.

After the Storm (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan survived the car crash, but he has to relive it every night in his nightmares. Luckily, he has Phil to comfort him.

Growing Pains (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: a quick oneshot of Phil feeling a bit insecure about his age and Dan comforting him.

helplessly helpless: I’m alive, can you hear me? (ao3) - MANIAvinyl

Summary: Dan’s been in a relatively good place. He’s kept his head screwed on tight recently. So because the worst of the storm has passed he feels like it’s on him to help the world to de-stigmatize talking about mental health. When he mentions this to Phil, though, it’s finally revealed how much the last few years have impacted his best friend, too.

I'll hold you right (ao3) - Sacirin

Summary: As Dan is 'putting himself out there more', Phil gets insecure about their relationship and his own role in it.

I'm Almost Me Again (ao3) - MaybeALilCringey (probablysecretlyawitch)

Summary: Dan feels insecure like he hasn't in years. Phil reassures him.

Memories Turned into Daydreams (ao3) - apoetacriminal

Summary: He stood there in the middle of an empty room; thinking of the life he had before. Or five times Dan felt insecure and one time he felt comfortable with himself.

My Shot (ao3) - companionsthroughlife (maggie_1277)

Summary: He finally looked at his phone and saw it was only 6 am. He couldn't go back to bed now that he had left the room, he went to his desk.

He knew he wasn't young anymore, and that he shouldn't be working this hard but he felt like nothing he was writing was good. He wasn't good enough, he felt like he was throwing away his shot of fame and youtube. He was working harder than he had in the past because of this.

He just sat and worked for hours, never looking away from his screen. He needed to finish this thing and then maybe it would be good enough. He didn't think that it would be even after writing and rewriting for days.

or a look into Phil's mind.

Only Us (ao3) - Lizzyboo

Summary: It hit him gradually, all the ways in which Dan had grown.

He couldn’t pin point the moment it dawned on him. The moment when he looked towards the person next to him and realized, oh shit, he’s an adult.

--------------------------

Phil is starting to think that maybe what he has to offer Dan just isn't enough anymore.

Pride (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase (BirbWatcher)

Summary: It's Pride, and Dan is feeling insecure.

reassurance is easily forgotten (ao3) - januarysnow

Summary: dan has a lump under his duvet every morning, phil is growing insecure.

run from the lights, run from the night. (ao3) - commonemergency

Summary: "This isn’t his first hangover but it always feels like the first time whenever he drinks too much," or Dan is hungover and insecure and Phil still loves him anyway.

She Used To Be Mine (ao3) - companionsthroughlife (maggie_1277)

Summary: Dan woke up that day knowing that this day was going to be bad, like the past few months. All he felt was empty.

He got out of bed after an hour of just sitting there, staring at his wall and his phone.

He went to the bathroom and just looked at himself. He didn't recognize his own face anymore.

So We Meet Again (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: One night Dan forgets that he was supposed to hang out with Phil, playing his favorite MMO instead. Dan beats himself up for being the worst best friend ever. Meanwhile, Phil wants to understand what keeps Dan coming back to the game, so he creates an account to investigate firsthand.

souls in flowers (ao3) - ywgttn

Summary: Phil has imposter syndrome and his insecure mind is making him see flowers and stars, Dan can bring him back though.

He always can.

stand beside my own reflection (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: The creation of individual merch has Phil stressed and anxious, for personal reasons.

When You Leave Me (I'm Not Going Anywhere) (ao3) - fisshhhh

Summary: Sometimes the thoughts are just too much. Sometimes Dan breaks. Sometimes he finds himself drowning on the kitchen floor, unwilling to ask for help and too insecure to think that anyone would want to help him anyway. Luckily, Phil loves him.

Set in 2009 or early 2010, shortly after they met.

Basically, Dan has a panic attack and Phil is there for him. A little dark but with a fluffy ending.

Words Left Unsaid (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil are out clubbing with some friends. Dan feels insecure that no one can hear him in the crowd.

Wrapped Around His Finger (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Phil finds himself feeling a bit insecure and even jealous when his new boyfriend receives a flood of attention from men and women alike. Dan, who has agreed to keep their relationship a secret, finds it harder and harder to appear single. Phil sees another male hitting on Dan and feels the need to make their commitment known to others.

You're Perfect To Me (ao3) - ticklishraspberries

Summary: Dan is feeling insecure about his body, and Phil can’t have that.

Jumping on the Bandwagon Isn't So Bad (ao3) - ticklishraspberries

Summary: Dan decides to jump on the ‘boys in crop tops’ trend.

[blairwld]

.......

[dandp]

Ok last m&g post I had to share this clip because my outfit was so purposely Dan bait and I'm delighted at how immediately into the pants he was and he was sooo smiley about it I love him so much

[gremlin-pattie]

i cannot express how much i have missed the gaming channel

[dykephan]

Is that the guy that once uploaded a video where he plays some kind of video game and talks about how rude Dan was when he met him? I can't find it anymore, but I swear it was real lol

believe it or not that was actually a DIFFERENT person who was praying on dan's downfall 😭 that was matt, he used to be friends with phil (he worked with him on apartment red) and felt replaced when he met dan. he said dan was an asshole to him and that phil never wanted to talk to him anymore after they met. i'm on mobile so i can't link it exactly but the clip is around the 4 minute mark here (this whole video is a wild blast from the past btw)

[selinabrookheimer]

i feel like dan gives off this idc what u think energy but u could tell he was floored when Kent was like “the VP office is as successful as youll get”. Like that shit got to him majorly

[123pixieaod]

oh my god your girl daniel was so amazing!!! it was such a treat to read and if you ever have any more thoughts about that universe i would love to hear it!!! <3

Anon, do I ever!!!!

Firstly thank you so much for the kind words 💖 I had never written girl Daniel before so I'm so happy you think she works :)))

Secondly, yes. Yes I do. You have either opened Pandoras Box or a can of worms, depending on which allegory takes your fancy, because I literally cannot stop thinking about insecure Girl Daniel, and what would happen next to her (so I apologise in advance for the upcoming rambles lol).

So, after the time in the gym, Daniel phones Michelle and Michelle has about zero sympathy for her because she is a Working Mother™️ and thinks (possibly correctly) Daniel is a single millionaire professional sportswoman and has no right to be having problems (again going back to this deep rooted misogyny that for a woman having a family is the most important calling for them, and everything else paled in comparison).

And basically Michelle tells Daniel that of course Max would say and think that because Daniel always acts like a 'one of the boys', even as a little child, and dresses as if she doesn't care what people think of her (jealousy now from Michelle that she never felt like she could be that free???)

So Daniel gets off the call and basically decides to change, and the first thing she does is gets fake nails put on. And she goes for these little gell ones with flowers on because Flowers are Feminine.

But at the next race weekend, walking back after the press conference with Max, she realises that the nail onher ring finger has fallen off and just starts to ... cry. Because it feels like the universe's big fat way of telling her she's never going to be desirable and no man will ever want to marry her (and ofc by no man she means Max, but accepting how utterly in love with him she is feels like defeat in a different way). And Max is walking with her to the motorhome of Red Bull/ Alpha Tauri and is slightly freaking out because 😰why is Daniel just staring at her hands😰why is she nearly crying😰 and he asks and that does make her burst into tears because she just feels so pathetic in that moment, and the only thing she can say is one of her new gel nails fell off and she walks away before he can say anything else.

That evening she pretends she's feeling a bit unwell so gets to stay in her driver room and eat dinner alone and feels slightly less miserable because she now has an Even Better Plan ™️ and so she pulls off all the fake nails (flowers? How old is she, six?) and calls her mum asking for advice and is half way through listening to her mums step by step process for straightening her hair when there's a knock on her door and it's Max holding out the lost nail. And as soon as Daniel opens the door he marches in complaining that she should be more careful and that it was under the couch and he got such strange looks from the staff so the next time she should not be so upset over a nail and instead just take another from the box and replace it, and all Daniel is able to say is she didn't buy the gell nails in a box she got them done directly at a nail salon and Max just blinks out at her. And then nods, and mumbles that Kelly orders her online and they come on a box with extra. He looks away as he gentle places the sole gell nail down on her table.

"I suppose it is a good thing then I got it for you, if you had no spares," he mumbles, cheeks suddenly warm, and Daniel just nods and stutters a "thank you" and Max nods again as if they've both been caught doing something embarrassing and leaves quickly. And then Daniel is staring at the nail that Max went back and searched for and found, just for her, and then goes to retrieve all the others she ripped off and begins to carefully glue them back on, refusing to think about what any of it could mean.

ANYWAY then it's time for Daniel's Big Plan™️. This is where she gets her hair professionally straightened and begins to smile with only her lips and tries not to laugh because Girls Don't Have Loud Honking Laughs and wears long sleeves to hide her tattoos and when she's going out she wears dresses and she finally shaves her legs and she learns to wear makeup and trims her eyebrows and waxes the hair on her upper lip and begins to wear jewellery (but only clipon earrings because her race engineer tells her she would be a fucking idiot to try and get her ears pieced and then expect them to not get infected while wearing a racing helmet).

And for a while, she feels good. She feels really good. She likes the way her mother keeps texting her photos that the f1 photographers take of her and telling her how beautiful she looks now. She likes her sister texting her advice on which shoes go with which dresses and saying she's glad Daniel's finally grown up ("usually the tomboy phase only lasts a few years, not two and a bit decades, but at least you're out the other side of it"). She gets attention too, papers writing of "Ricciardo's New Look!" and articles on her "killer figure previously hidden under oversized clothing".

She likes it and she lives for the moment at at a party when they're both drunk and Max brushes his fingers over her long, silver, dangley earrings, saying "pretty," and Daniel feels her chest contracting and Max suddenly drops his hand as if the silver burns, and he looks at her and she looks back and he blinks, Maldives-blue eyes meeting her dark ones lined with eyeliner. "Thanks," she whispers, and he just jerks a nod and then takes a step back, as if there wasn't enough oxygen for the two of them that close together.

But then it slowly turns sour. She gets tired of constantly trying, constantly waking up early to do her makeup and constantly ignoring her favourite, baggy clothes in favour of new, tight shirts and dresses her sister recommends. Her mother sends her another photo, but this time it's just accompanied with "That's a bit revealing don't you think Dani?" When she facetimes her dad with her new smooth, straight hair and makeup and a smile that's always closelipped, he looks sad as he smiles back at her.

She comes P3 at the race before the summer break, and goes out wearing a sequined purple dress her sister encouraged her to buy, which once she wouldn't even consider wearing (she knows her mother would call it borderline obscene with its plunging neck line and high hem). At the last moment, she puts on the earrings Max complimented, refusing to think about the warmth in her chest as she clips them on.

At the party, she gets drunk and finds Max, and he's drinking and Kelly is there too, and she just looks so perfect, and suddenly Daniel feels like a little girl playing dress up. It all comes so natural to Kelly. She doesn't have to try to be feminine and beautiful. She just is. And Max isn't. No matter how many dresses she buys or makeup, she wears or hair heels she nearly twists her ankles on, she won't be Kelly. That's the sort of beauty you're born with, the sort Daniel is so clearly deficient in.

She wants to leave, but Max sees her before she can and weaves his way to her. His cheeks are flushed from drink, and he's wearing a white shirt with the top buttons undone, and he looks so good that she wants to die. "Your earrings," he says, blinking at them before meeting her gaze. "I talked to Victoria. About you."

"Cheers for letting me know," Daniel tries to make a joke but it sounds too bitter to land. Max frowns, no doubt picking up on her tone.

"No, I mean... what I said about you earrings. Last time. About them being pretty."

Daniel suddenly can't breathe. The club is too busy, too dark, too noisy, too much. She wants to leave, wants to suspend this moment in Amber and let his sentence stay unfinished.

"I did not mean it."

And Daniel barks a laugh, her chest aching like it's being crushed. She's so fucking stupid.

"No wait," Max says quickly, cheeks growing hotter. "I did not - I mean, of course I meant it. But they are just earrings. They are pretty because you are wearing them, and you are pretty. I do not -"

"Hi," Kelly materialises beside them, wrapping a perfect, unblemished arm around Max's waist. "Congratulations on the podium Daniel," she says in her sensual accent, the cadence smooth and so unlike the musical, messy lilt of Daniel's Australian one.

She forces a smile. Close lip. She refuses to look at Max. She makes up some excuse about not having a drink. She leaves them.

And then the night gets even more messy and Daniel gets even more drunk and ends up on the dance floor with some creep who keeps putting his hands on her ass no matter how many times she grabs them and raises them to her waist and then a tiny voice is asking her what the fuck are you doing and she leaves and the air is cold on her cheeks and her bare arms and shaven legs and her smooth hair keeps flying into her eyes and she's hugging herself as she's walking aimlessly, and then someone calls her name and it's Max, looking exhausted but significantly more sober then before.

"I did not mean what I said," he continues stubbornly, an echo of previous words, the moment that triggered her desperate attempt to change, sparking this whole fuck up.

"I looked for you," he says with a frown as if Daniel was a misbehaving child.

She snaps, "Maybe I didn't want to see you," and he blinks as if she's slapped him, as if the thought never even occurred to him.

"Yes you did. You always mean what you say." Daniel hugs herself tighter. She looks away. She wants to cry.

"Yes," he allows after a beat. "Okay, I meant what I said but I did not say it how I meant to. I just meant that the earrings are not the things which made you pretty, that -"

"And Victoria told you to say that, did she?" Daniel says, voice back to bitterness.

"No, she didn't," Max replies, his own tone beginning to sound annoyed, like Daniel is intentionally vexing him. "But she did tell... well, she made me think, and what I think is that you are not very happy, Daniel."

Daniel jerks her head up, staring at him.

"What?"

"Happy," he repeats, brows knitted together. "I do not think you are happy."

Nobody has said that to her. She has been praised or accused, her new look attracting attention and labels and names. But in all the rush and noice and chatter, nobody had said that.

"I am happy," she says after a pause, mind racing. "Of course I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be happy?"

His lips thin. "You do not smile any more. Not like how you used to."

Daniel barks out a laugh, feeling something in her chest constrict even further.

So then they have a Big Argument and Max says he does not understand why she has changed her appearance so much if it's making her so miserable and he does not like how she dresses and acts because she's not laughing or smiling anymore and she is not happy. Daniel snaps back that maybe she doesn't give two shits about what he thinks (the irony burning her from the inside out) and the argument gets even worst and eventually Daniel storms off and Max doesnt follow her.

When she gets home she just lays on her bed and cries and doesn't even bother taking off her makeup, even though she knows her mother would scold her and say she'll get spots.

It's summer break and Daniel watches as Kelly posts photo after photo of Max on holidays with her family, and Daniel just... gives up. She didn't care. It was never possible, because she's not like women like Kelly. She's Daniel, and no amount of straightened hair or revealing dresses will change that.

So she throws it all out. She bags all her new clothes into bin bags and leaves it anonymously outside a charity shop. She throws out all her makeup. She gives her straightener to a alpha tauri worker for their daughter. She lets the hair on her upper lip grow back. She goes back to her baggy shirts and ancient ripped jeans and frizzy hair. She stops caring, and it's one of the most freeing things she's ever done. She's Daniel again, Daniel with the crazy curls and oversized shirts. Daniel. Herself again.

Everyone is disappointed. Her mother barely speaks for the entire facetime they do, her lips thin in disapproval as she takes in Daniel's altered style. Her sister snaps at Daniel for wasting her time looking for advice if she was just going back to not bothering about how she looks. The papers declare "Babe-cardo is gone" and publish photos of her wearing dresses and make up as if it's a eulogy.

She is nervous to see Max again, waiting for his expression to fall as he sees she's back to being messy, ugly Daniel. Instead, his face lights up when he walks into the meeting room and sees her. They haven't spoken since their fight, haven't even texted, but Daniel blurts out a stupid joke about how even under the Mediterranean sun Max still has the colouring of a sickly Victorian child, but Max laughs and then Daniel laugh, back to her honking laugh which makes everyone turn and look at her, and just like that she knows her and Max are back to normal.

Only it's more than normal. When everyone else looks at her like she's a let down, Max smiles as if he never quite wants to stop looking at her. When some reporter asks in a patronising manner if she was trying different hair textures to see which is more aerodynamic, Max replies before Daniel can even begin to form a polite PR answer, pointing out George now has a middle parting, and surely that's much more important news then Daniel's curls, and everyone laughs and looks at George as he blushes and tries to stammer out a response. But Daniel just looks at Max, who looks back from across the opposite side of the interviewing coach. And she grins, and then Max grins back and laughs softly, looking away.

And this is pretty much the point where the tags on the fic begin. Max and Daniel are somehow closer than ever. Max keeps giving her compliments, which is new, but they're always such Max compliments Daniel can't help but laugh as he says them. Like "you are only a few seconds behind me, they is very good" or "Daniel, is your bagpack new it is very lovely and big" about a rucksack he's definitely seen her with about a hundreds time before (((but the compliments are never about her physical appearance, which Daniel never actually realises and possibly Max doesnt even realise it either. She's just Daniel, and it's her smile and her sense of humour and her liveliness which makes her beautiful to Max, not how she styles her hair or which clothes she wears))).

So then Daniel finally wins a race and Max is the first to hug her tightly and tell her how amazing she is and how lovely her drive was and of course if be hasn't had engine problems then she would've had a proper fight on her hands but he is sure it is the first of many podiums they'll share and Daniel's just laughing and hugging him back and on the podium she gets Max to do a shoey but holds her shoe to his lips and watches as the champaign runs down over his lips and the buldge of his Adams apple moves with his swallowing and she suddenly feels very drunk and slightly ill, knowing she can't have any of it but now after making her peace with it.

And down below Kelly is like 🤨🤨🤨 and doesn't understand because Max definitely didn't desire Daniel when she tried to be pretty (not very successfully either, she thinks) so how could he find her desirable now in a sweaty race suit and with inked arms dusted with dark hair and wild curls which are more frizz then anything else and a smile which seems almost cartoonist its so unnaturally big???? But she knows what she saw, watching him gently brush a few wayward curls away which had been glued to Daniel's forehead and cheeks by the champaign, watching him drink from her shoe, watching him smile at Daniel as if she's the only thing he can see.

So that night she gives him an ultimate. He has to stop seeing Daniel, or else she'll leave. And Max is like wtf Kelly isn't like other girls she's secure!!! And it's just Daniel!!!! And Kelly just snaps its pathetic and embarrassing how obviously he pines after the weirdo, and Max just goes very still and Kelly tells him Daniel is probably a lesbian anyway from how she dresses (we bringing all types of internalised misogyny in this fic🫠) and they wouldn't make any sense but him and Kelly are perfect, and Max just nods because he doesn't... him and Kelly make Sense. She's beautiful and classy and his dad tells Max that he picked well with her and people in f1 always tell him how lucky he is to have such a beautiful girlfriend and his mum writes "Max and Kelly" in letters now and somehow Max nodding is equating to him texting Daniel, Kelly dictating exactly what to say.

And Daniel gets the text and just sort of feels herself falling apart and it's so unfair because he said her earrings were pretty and then took it back, how could Kelly possibly think she's a threat to her?? But Daniel does what Max asks and doesn't text him and he doesn't text her and at the next race they acknowledge each other as nothing more then professional coworkers and Daniel wonders if this is what heartbreak is like, and how losing Max as a friend is a thousand times worse than when she admitted to herself he'd never find her desirable.

She goes back to Monaco for the two week break. She buys a photo of a shark, this one swimming and alive and looking so real she swears his eyes follow her. She hangs it in her living room. She loves it. She buys flowers. She cleans her apartment. She tries to learn to bake.

Then, a knock on her door. She's half way through baking a possibly unsaveble batch of brownies (she got the salt and sugar mixed up :((( ) and opens the door with an old Red Bull apron, a lá a Red Bull PR Christmas videos from years back, and hair in a wild mess and tattered Aussie slippers and there's Max. And even before she can comprehend he's standing there with a bouquet of especially drooping flowers he's marching in past her, going to the cabinet to get a vase all while complaining about how awful the florists in Monaco are and how they fucked up his order and how one day he will take her to the Netherlands, proper, not just for a race, and show her the tulips fields and then she will get proper flowers and and and and -

And Daniel is just standing by the still open door, staring at him, distantly wondering if she's astronomically fucked up the oven temperatures and this is CO2 poisoning. Max suddenly stills, stopping mid sentence to worry his lip before turning and blurting out "You're not a lesbian, are you?"

And Daniel is so shocked she bursts out laughing and Max's cheeks flood warm and he quickly says that of course it would be fine if she is, he has lots of gay and bi friends and besides, he knows he likes Daniel in a lot of ways and he would be happy having her as a friend because she's his best one and he -

And Daniel takes pitying on him and finally says no Max I'm not a lesbian and Max just sort of nods and looks away, and Daniel finally shuts the door but can't stop staring at him and then she laughing again, but in delight and happiness and joy as she finally realises what he said and what he meant, and then Max is laughing too and she can still feel the smile on his lips when they kiss.

And they have wonderful, pent-up-longing-finally-released make out session in her kitchen and then Daniel's alarm goes off and they spring apart as if they're teenagers caught misbehaving and Daniel looks at Max and Max looks back at her and then she grins and he looks so relieved and smiles back.

"I have wanted to do that for a long time," Max admits softly, cheeks blazing as he helps Daniel cut the brownies into squares. She looks at him but he won't meet her eye and then it somehow comes out in mutters and blushes that he's liked her for literal years, but of course she would not like someone like him, she's too cool and free and extroverted, and he moved on and Daniel just can't believe it (((Max loves her for things which aren't her physical appearance!!!)))) and tells Max he's an idiot and when he looks up at her in surprise, she kisses him.

And then Max tries her brownie and Daniel is weirdly afraid something mightve changed between them now but he takes one bite and makes a face and tells her she has always been a bit of a shit cook but this is astronomically shit and Daniel laughs and playfully shoves him and then tries a piece and can't even pretend to enjoy it. They throw it out and Max orders from their favourite Chinese and then life gets bigger and bigger and Max doesnt care if Daniel dresses smart or casual or shave or wears make up, but the one thing he insists on is she not straighten her hair again because he likes to wind the curls around his fingers and tug softly on then. Daniel somehow smiles even more and her laugh is even louder but she no longer cares, and the shark painting in her living room continues to watch her with bright, black eyes and Max eats all the ice cream left in her freezer that she hasn't been able to touch and each time she thinks she can't get any happier, Max will or complain about her thick hair clogging up the shower drain or ban her from cooking unless he's there to supervise and keep the salt and sugar separate or or or

And it goes on like that, happy and in love :)))

[jennifersminds]

dair: exists

🪑’s, for some reason:🤓😩why did they have to ruin the friendship?!?! 😫smh no romantic chemistry😤😤,,, their friendship>>>>😌😇

[obv10usly]

my digital scrapbooking art for @amazingphil !

happy birthday phil 💕 thank you for letting us be a part of your journey and for brightening our days along the way. love you!!

(pls zoom in to see the back breaking details that mobile screens can’t do justice 😭)

[betweensunflowersanddaffodils]

Justin and Cait were truly top tier, both off screen and on screen 🥺

I don't know if I miss more kevison or Justin and Cait together lmao. Maybe both? Yes, both is good.

Seeing these idiots having fun together, getting closer, bonding through their mutual love for kevison, keep giving their all in their kevison scenes even after finding out how the writers were going to ruin their endgame for absolute no reason, still sitting next to each other and hanging out together on set untill the end, was an absolute pleasure. These chaotic duo will forever be one of a kind! ❤️

[bidgoodphan]

THE LAST JEDI DIDNT MAKE S? WHAT THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM

[isekyaaa]

Sometimes I think that people make up a male and female character having a "sibling relationship" because deep down they have something against het ships. Like a male and female character can simply exist as friends, but because people really cannot comprehend the fact that friends exist, they immediately tag friends of the same gender as gay and male/female friends being siblings. It's this odd level of insecurity and forcing romance into everything that I just do not understand.

[atomic-sludge]

Getting invested in a show that's been cancelled for 10 years and has a fairly small fanbase from when it aired was not something I expected to happen to me this year.

[simping-on-the-daily]

i'm going to give the trailblazer so much fucking angst. thank you dan shu and kafka for this opportunity to make stelle suffer

[how-bout-i-tell-you-anyway]

so i was rewatching sierra burgess is a loser because as someone who is plus-sized and was in high school, it's something i relate to so, so much (minus the cute romance), and i noticed that in this final scene where sierra and veronica are hugging, veronica is wearing a SUNFLOWER RING. and that just makes me so emotional..

because it's one thing to tell your plus-size friends that they really are beautiful despite the stupid stigma of society (which no matter how true it is, they will never believe) and it's another to show them that they are beautiful BECAUSE of the way they are

maybe i'm making this into more than it is because i want so badly for it to help me heal, but this movie (and especially the song "sunflower") were already so touching to me and veronica's whole-hearted love and support just makes it all the more meaningful

[whoviandoodler]

I sometimes feel bad for skinny people bcs they'll gain a bit of weight (often via natural weight fluctuation) and immediately have a system failure and thirty two identity crises and then start weeping instead of considering their relationship to fatness and the implications of being terrified to no longer be skinny like. this your first rodeo bud?