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Celebrating Christmas Without the Community I Once Knew and Loved
Christmas has always been one of my favorite times of the year because it’s a season filled with warmth, connection, and traditions that bring people together. From the twinkling lights and festive decorations to the joy of giving and reflecting on the year, the Christmas music and cookies, get togethers and gift exchanges, it’s a time that feels both magical and meaningful. Growing up as part…
#anxiety#baptist#beauty#beauty blog#belief#belief system#beliefs#blog#Christmas#church#church group#critical thinking#cult#faith#Fundamentalism#Fundie#God#grace#healthy lifestyle#High control group#ideology#IFB#independent fundamental baptist#individual thought#jesus#Lifestyle#looking joli good#mental health#mental wellness#Merry Christmas
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#TO CLARIFY ON THE SECOND POINT: VAMPIRES *HAVE* A REPRODUCTION METHOD THAT IS NOT SEX-BASED#THAT IS THE MAJOR POINT OF THAT ONE. THAT VAMP REPRODUCTION IS BASED ON CONVERTING INTO UNDEAD AND NOT PREGNANCY#what i think i keep coming back to is that a vampire is like. a form of pathogen or perhaps parasite#is the individual vampire meaningfully distinct from that? maybe#sort of a made up question#but that’s not a mammal#so neither is a vampire#but also like. a human is a mammal#this question sponsored by my friend who said she was done keeping mammals bc ‘they have so much fluid in them’#and my thought that a vampire Wouldn’t#not a lot of fluids. happening there
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How Michael and Jermey became friends in FNAF
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#jeremy fitzgerald#fnaf 4#fnaf 2#security breach#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#jeremike#what’s better than this? just guys being dudes#I like the idea that Michael and Jeremy are dumb guys vibes#like individually they are smart#but anytime they are together truly just dumb dudes silly mode no thoughts#I think it’s on brand they fought and found a common ground#resulting in this forever friendship#hey if you can’t outfight someone might as well befriend them pff#definitely more to it but a Bonnie always need a foxy and vice versa
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some scenes ⭐
#isat#isat spoilers#drew these earlier this year and never posted them cause I thought I was gonna do more#during the early game there were some scenes or bits of dialogue that were especially endearing or impactful to me#and as the game went on it became harder to pick individual ones to draw#isat act 2 spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#isat act everything spoilers#siffrin#isat siffrin#isat odile#isat isa#Ive noticed some tags and just to clarify#none of these scenes are self harm or suicide#the first one is the first death to the king#and the loop back is the transition to act 5
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if there's ever going to be a big bad butch slasher for real, my only demand is that they have to film her from the dicksucking angle at least once in the course of the movie. maybe even twice
#need to be able to see each individual seam and detail on the front of her pants thanks#thought about a wallet chain or a carabiner dangling in full view too but no that'd be too obscene
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@easthigh's wiztober 2024 event 🔮 week four: beyond
↳ 2008 vs. 2024
#wiztober 2024#wizards of waverly place#wizards beyond waverly place#david henrie#disneyedit#disney channel#disneychanneledit#wowpedit#wbwpedit#userjessica#userrobin#rogerhealey#userhallie#singinprincess#usermagic#usercharisse#usergoose#tuserheidi#tusernath#*edits#many thoughts about the new logo/ids but i will not get into it here#he got to use his justin wand in the group id but not for the individual one and i'm sad about it bc they don't match now </3#once again i was gonna do something else for this prompt but then changed my mind at the last second so enjoy this isduhfusdfh
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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My brainrot today is thinking about just how incredible for a character Eowyn is.
Genuinely. The series might not have many female characters but the ones we do get go so fucking hard.
To me, Eowyn is literally the definition of defining being a woman for oneself. She rejects the roles she is given despite acknlowdging the importance and its mostly because she knows part of the reason is that she is a woman.
The reason why she is obsessed with Aragorn isn't because she loves him but because she wants what he has. She wants the freedom and courage and bravery that Aragorn has at every turn. She literally has multiple conversations during the Two Towers about how what she fears most is a cage. All this girl wants is the freedom to be and not be forced into a role. The best thing is that she literally gets that.
The segment of Return of the King about Eowyn and Faramir is literally about her piecing together what she truly wants. She doesn't want Aragorn. She wants freedom and the ability to choose. Faramir does nothing but encourage that in her. Their love story is literally one of the healthiest love stories I've seen in a long time because at the heart of it, their love is a place to return home to for both parties. Both go off to lead and help their people for a considerable amount of time before returning to each other but that does not diminish their bond. Even Faramir, I believe, falls in love with her bravery and dedication to her loved ones. The reason she went to Pelenor Fields and Gondor with the troops of Rohan was because she had things she wanted to fight for. She wanted to fight for herself, her people, and her loved ones. She is the one who protects Theoden after he is killed so that his body gets the treatment it deserves. She encourages Merry and helps him go to the battle because she sees her struggle in Merry. They feel helpless standing around when there are things to be doing.
Let's also not forget the fact that she was around Grima Wormtounge just as much as the King was. She was exposed to the same poison and awful words that eroded the king. It's even implied that her care for him is part of the reason why Theoden was savable when Gandalf showed up. She had the same power and bravery as everyone else even if she didn't see it in herself.
Then at the end of the day, SHE decides where she wants to go and what path she wants to walk. She walked the path of a warrior. The path of a princess/ruler. The path of a caretaker. But in the end she decides which elements truly mean something to her outside of gender definitions. That is what makes her character so incredible to me. In this she literally kills one of the biggest enemies in that battle with such a badass line.
#i could talk for ages about how i see the struggle of defining being a woman for oneself in her#she rejects the feminine roles given to her but she also doesnt quite want the masculine ones#she just wants the freedom to choose and have the same respect that men are given#she doesnt want to be belitted because she is a woman#thats literally what Faramir gives her and why she stays with him#Faramir loves her for her not anything else#he respects her as she does him#i am someone who is a woman but rejects the definitons of being a woman because they are toxic and caging#all i want is the freedom and respect of being a HUMAN being#i lend more masculine because that is where that freedom is more often but i also see how toxic that relam is too#niether side is good which is why i choose my own path and defintiom#the fact that eowyn gets such a similar story in a series written by a man in the mid 1900s is incredible#i am someone who would love to have more female characters but i do not want them at the expense of them being proper characters and humans#ive read a lot of fantasy women do not always get the agency they deserve#i would rather take fewer well written women then a bunch of poorly written female characters#lotr has that#eowyn arwen and galadriel are all given agency and the space to be their own individuals which makes them incredible characters#thats what i want out of books and ficition#god im making myself insane about my own thoughts lol#i could talk for ages im not kidding#eowyn#eowyn of rohan#lotr#lotr rambling#lord of the rings#the two towers#the return of the king
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Have to feed my own AU needs 🥲🥲🥲
Continuing off of villain Lao au
Bonus ~
Which was 50% inspired by @helsensm and 50% inspired by the MMA post 🤣😅
#fanart#digital#my art#art#doodle#mortal kombat 1#kung lao#doodles#mk1 raiden#railao#villain au#evil Lao au#idk what to call it#I don’t normally post so close together in one week#but I had so much fun drawing these with individuals who made my shitty couple of weeks so much better#and it turned out great ! so I thought why not#and my individuals I mean the clown caravan 🤣
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Reader is Yuu with an implied family with siblings. Not re-read or edited.
One day you realise that there is just a bit too much food on the table. It takes eating with the others to truly notice, but it starts with Grim complaining.
"We've been eating the same thing for days now!" And you laugh because it's true. After eating it fresh the first day, you tend to pack up and store the rest equally in the fridge and freezer because, yes, it's a lot. Dishes that are soups, or meals that are cooked in the larger pots and pans. Food that is to be served with rice on the side, portions that are bigger than your face. That isn't to say that you had a lot of thaumarks on you as you're just good at making bulk purchases worth it.
Everyone laughs at Grims moping, remarking of how he should be greatful you're feeding him at all. The banter is great.
But you're picking at your packed lunch now.
Why do you cook so much? Why do you reach for the bigger pots and pans? Why are your portions always for more than one?
From the fog of your mind, you see... your kitchen. Or you think it's your kitchen. It's not the kitchen back at Ramshackle, but the one from before Ramshackle. You're bustling around the counter, chatting to a faceless figure by the table, and reaching for seasonings without even looking. You're opening cabinets and finding what you need easily and asking the figure to make some rice to accompany whatever is in that pot. There's the squeals of children and hearty laughter from the other room. And hands, there's a hand at the small of your back and you think it's a motherly touch because how else can you describe the gentle way they press you to the side of their body.
For the next few days you can't eat properly. There's weight at your gut that substitutes for food and you don't make anything more. When your friends come over to invade the living room of Ramshackle, you don't have much snacks to offer them.
Peering into the fridge only reveals the stacks of containers of food you were eating days prior. You're mulling about maybe something you can make for them when,
"Whoa, talk about excess. Grim wasn't kidding." Ace's voice is right behind you.
"Ugh, sorry guys. i don't think I have anything proper to really feed you guys--"
"Is that some sort of egg salad?" Deuce's hand slithers forward to grab at one of the containters. "You have bread?" Nodding you gesture to the other cabinet. "Then I'll snack on this-- Er, if you wouldn't mind."
Epel peers from the doorway. "You don't happen to haf' some meat in 'er do ya?" Your fingers linger, before meekly pulling out a corrisponding tupperware.
"It's a bit stiff though, Epel."
"Hah, I'll jus' throw it on tha' stove or somthing. If it's still tough, I dun' care. Sometimes just gotta eat the greasy foods." He takes the tupperware and slaps it into a pan to heat it up. The aroma of sizzling meat is quick to attract both Sebek and Jack who add to the noise of chatter amongst the others, the former mostly.
You find yourself to the side, watching as they scour through your leftovers, opening and nodding at the meals inside before choosing which to heat up. And it's loud, but not grating. They're navigating through your space with expertice, slipping past each other and peering into cabinets. Jack's making rice and Sebek is counting the plates (whilst also making sounds whenever he sees a chip in the odd one or two). Over the stove Epel and Ace are jerking their hands into the pan, nipping their fingers to the corner pieces of the meat to just 'check if it's ready to eat'. Gathering the spoons and forks, Deuce nibbles on a piece of his egg salad sandwich before disappearing in the living area where everyone is setting up.
The dinner table has been set. You don't feel entirely there, floating to a cushion on the floor as your left overs are bought over to the table plate-by-plate. Everyone sits around you, Grim settled into your lap as he nibbles on a piece of fried fish, and they're passing the dishes around.
You've eaten these things before but you've always eaten them with Grim or alone when Grim takes his naps early. Instead of one set of cutlery scraping at porcelain, there's multiple sets-- a symphony playing to their hunger as they gather more to pile onto their plates.
#and then i didnt want to write anymore#JDSIFASF just a thought fr#i was talking to my friends who moved out for uni and we were all just talking about meals and specifically family meals#i got really sad just thinking about it#in my culture we dont really have individual meals and instead have meals where its quick and convenient that can feed quite a few#and we eat it with rice so its like long lasting too icl#anyways i have a lot of thoughts but my writing is soooo bad lol#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#x reader#jack howl#epel felmier#ace trappola#deuce spade#sebek zigvolt#grim#twst yuu#>hilt.rambles
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obviously erasure of gay relationships in history does and has existed but ngl it irritates me when people specifically latch onto the word "friend" as something you're somehow not allowed to call gay people & that by calling them "friends" you're somehow denying their gayness. because the fact of the matter is that a lot of gay people in history would and did call themselves friends & did not see that as excluding the possibility of romantic love or sex. like it's a perfectly fine word to use provided you're acknowledging the possibility of the full breadth of what that relationship could mean, and in fact a lot of times to assign other words to them is to make assumptions about how they viewed their relationship and potentially to impose concepts on them they wouldn't have seen themselves in
#also like. it would be much better to focus on the broader issues that result in gay erasure than to fixate on the individual words#sorry to complain I was looking at the notes on that last post & all the 'historians would call them friends' is once again giving me hives#thoughts
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Thank You, Trump and MAGA, but Definitely Not for the Reasons You Think
For much of my life, I found peace and comfort in my Christian faith and the community my church provided. The people I worshipped with, those I prayed beside and shared fellowship with, were not just friends; they were my spiritual family. Together, we espoused values that were at the core of Christianity—compassion, love, humility, and integrity. These teachings gave me a sense of purpose and…
#anxiety#baptist#beauty#beauty blog#belief#belief system#beliefs#blog#church#church group#criminal#critical thinking#cult#delusional#faith#Fundamentalism#Fundie#God#grace#healthy lifestyle#High control group#ideology#IFB#independent fundamental baptist#individual thought#jesus#Lifestyle#looking joli good#maga#mental health
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AUGH I’d love to see more time looping odile if possible,,,,, how do you think she’d like; “devolve” over each of the acts as compared to Siffrin over time :O
ok im gonna be honest i did like portrait edits months ago and just never finished them. so here you go
act 3:
act 5:
#some of them are still missing... I'll edit this post if I finish them as well#isat#isat spoilers#odile loops au#day 108#isat odile#i'm too lazy to individually export them in transparent atm...#tell me if yall ever need it#edit: I FORGOT TO ANSWER THE QUESTION#I mean yeah technically the portraits work but I do have Thoughts about this#I just think that throughout the loops odile becomes more. annoyed. and irritated#Like by act 3 fighting isn't really amusing anymore#dying/getting frozen is. ah. welp#But by act 5 she's just speedrunning#Just super irritated. like die already i've got variables to test#act 3 frozen is a momentary rest; the break is nice and she knows she can get back next loop; it's fine. act 5 is ugh seriously#tired. annoyed. unamused. what a waste of time#anyways wait how long has it been since I posted#(sees date of last post) OH. um#sorry guys I've been busy job (internship) hunting#will I post more from now on? No promises <3#Thank you for sticking around nontheless... I appreciate all the stuff yall send in my inbox <3#isat au
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assortment of vw (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#somehow i feel more comfortable uploading a collection of vw comics on here as opposed to one by one...#iv been thinking a lot of their quieter moments / less tense moments as opposed to anything heavy#and naturally i like to think of vash's thoughts / his witnessing of wolfwood as an individual / how he knows him and sees him#but theres still a sense of inevitability for what happens next#i think vash having lived the way he has understands that too well. so even if he sought change with wolfwood he didn't know how to#get wolfwood on that same page / or there couldv been an assumption they already were on the same page but ofc that was never communicated#sigh </3 theyre silly - always will be#ruporas art
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as soon as i added a very vague letterbox review for this film some guy from work texted me and it took me .5 seconds to realize he had no idea what the plot was actually about… certified ‘bruh’ moment lads
#arghghhghghhhhhhh straights leave us alone challenge#i read his review for it and he thought it was just about lost childhood and that the main character acted a lil weird#sigh#i saw the tv glow#isttvg#justice smith#a24#a24 films#brigette lundy paine#jane schoenbrun#i saw the tv glow owen#the pink opaque#pride#queer cinema#ps this isnt to say cisgender individuals cant relate to the film in differing ways#more like theres a lot to take away from the movie and its ironic that for some the main theme flies completely over their heads rip#🤪#🥲
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there they are… the hermit crabs
#not really sure what the point of making this was I just got an idea and thought it was funny#locus fandom time#not gonna tag individual characters because I’d feel bad lol#hermitblr#hermitcraft#shitpost#if you don’t know who’s who they’re in alphabetical order btw#edit: the alphabetical order is a bit messed up because it’s based off the website which has 50% nicknames 50% full usernames#sorry! scar is after Ren and beef is before Wels and Jev is after iskall
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