#incorrect snowpiercer

[julesnichols]

An Ongoing List of Things that Melanie Cavill has Canonically Stolen

#1. Snowpiercer

#2. Snowpiercer (again)

3. A gun

#4. A gun (again)

Bonus:

Our hearts

[ray-green-wicked4good]

*On The Pirate Train*

Ben: They told me you were sick.

Alex: *weakly* Yeah.

Ben: Well, I brought you a special present.

Alex: What is it?

Ben: Open it.

Alex: ...a book?

Ben: A very special book. Your mom used to read this when she was under the weather and it always lifted her spirits a lot. So I thought I might try reading it to you.

Alex: *sighing* Does it have any sports in it?

Ben: Are you kidding? Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True Love. Miracles.

Alex: That doesn't sound too bad. I guess I'll try to stay awake.

Ben: Well, thank you very much. That's very nice if you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.

Ben: *clears throat* 'An Introduction to the Construction of Tunnels by Blasting and Boring' by J. Paul Guyer. "Firstly let it be noted that this publication is adapted from the Unified Facilities Criteria and other resources of the United States Government which are in the public domain, have been authorized for unlimited distribution, and are not copyrighted." Now isn't that a wonderful beginning?

Alex: ...what the actual hell is this?

Ben: Shhh. It'll help. You'll see. "Chapter One, Part one, General Rules. The Design team must be composed of design and construction engineers and geologists experienced in underground construction. Methods and sequences of excavation affects the..."

*Bonus*

Alex: *after several mind-numbing hours* Ben, wait. Just--wait.

Ben: Are you confused? Do I need to go back a little and--

Alex: I guess I am a little confused. I mean, where's the sports? And the torture? I mean, when's it get good?

Beh: Were you not listening to the section all about horrible mistakes that can lead to cave-ins in Chapter Two: Tunnel Excavations By Drilling and Blasting? That was exciting, right?

Alex: -_-

[pzyii]

Snowpiercer but it's all imbrandonfarris (always has been >:) )

[wingsofhcpe]

Ruth, entering the Hospitality break room: is something burning?

Melanie: just my love for you.

Ruth: ...Mel, the toaster's on fire.

[ruthiesrambles2]

Melanie Cavill wakes up shivering.

"Ruth?" she calls out, hearing the telltale whistle of the kettle in the kitchen. "did you turn up the air conditioning again? I had the most horrible dreams...the whole world was frozen and we... "

She shivers again.

"Sorry my love," Ruth says, carrying two cups of tea into the bedroom. "Hot flush."

(@drewsaturday is at least partially responsible for this)

[missaudreystiara]

You are ridiculous @train-pirate

That duet between Wilford and Milius was better than any of Audrey’s performances to date 😱

Might need to change my blog name to MiliusHelmet at this rate!

[maskofmilves]

Incorrect quote✨

Melanie: *opening eyes first time since track scaler* ...am I...in heaven?...

Wilford: *popping his head in the doorway* Mel! You're awake!

Melanie: Nope I'm in hell.

[communistkenobi]

okay i'm very curious to hear your thoughts on snowpiercer because i hated that movie when it first came out too but i haven't seen it since and i've been wondering lately if i need to reevaluate it

I was told that movie had an extremely basic and obvious premise, that the train was a metaphor for capitalism, that it was going to directly deal with climate change as a result of capitalism, so it was going to be one of those movies that hits you over the head with its theme. so I’m like ok cool I’ll watch it. But it doesn’t make sense as a metaphor for capitalism because it’s formulated in a fundamentally stupid way - the underclass, who are allegorised to be undocumented people (they boarded the train without a ticket) kinda just sit around doing nothing lol? They are provided for by the upper classes and are only occasionally called upon to do very particular types of labour (ie the guy who knows how to play a musical instrument). Yes their lives aren’t great, but they have a lot of free time to just like, plan revolts lol. That’s just like an offensively incorrect way to depict labour exploitation and wealth inequality. It’s also just kind of racist and weird about non-white characters, and I don’t like Chris Evans as an actor very much so I just was not a fan of that whole set up lol. Like by default I’m not going to care about a white guy revolutionary helping non-white people, and the movie did nothing to make that compelling. There’s other stuff I really disliked about the movie but it’s been a while since I watched it so I’m struggling to remember. I enjoyed Tilda Swinton’s character at least, she was really good at being an evil english politician.

And if it’s not about capitalism, if it’s just about some fucked up fictional society that lives on a train, then it’s a movie that says nothing and is about nothing, that ends with crashing the train in the frozen wasteland that is earth. It was just especially shocking bc I’d watched Parasite beforehand and enjoyed it, but Snowpiercer fucking sucks lol

[sapphicbraincell]

[julesnichols]

This is how it went, isn't it??

[ray-green-wicked4good]

Roche: Oh, there you are Engineer Knox. Thank God. You have to help me with this woman.

Ben: What woman?

*overhead, musical notes sound*

Melanie's voice: Attention all passengers, Wilford Industries wishes you good morning...

Layton: *points up* That one.

Till: Yeah, that-that Head of Hospitality ice queen is interfering with our investigation!

Layton: You ever deal with her before?

Ben: ...

Ben: On and off.

Till: Yeah, she's a real piece of work.

Roche: Honestly? I think she just needs to get laid.

Ben: I can assure you with 100% certainty that that is not the problem.

Layton: Interesting.

[ruthiesrambles]

[wingsofhcpe]

Mel, on the phone: did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Ruth: you bet.

Mel: at what temperature?

Ruth: 535.

Mel: that's the clock.

Ruth:

Mel:

Ruth: 536.

[snowpiercer-recaps]

[maskofmilves]

This is so crack but I had to:

WHERE'S

THE LAMB

SAUCE????!!!

Melanie thank you for trying to knock sense into him, poor baby that's really hard work...lemme hold you 🥺

[oswidower]

Snowpiercer afterlife:

Pike complaining about Layton and New Eden. LJ completely understanding and consoling him.

Pike: "... I still can't believe he killed me. It's like, buddy, you're the one who's lying! New Eden!? Seriously? Come on, man. What a joke."

LJ: "It's okay, I understand. They're all fools for thinking New Eden is real."

(video from Annalise Basso's Instagram story)