#incorrect remus lupin

[incorrectwolfstar]

sirius: just found out james is shagging regulus

remus: and??

sirius: therefore me and you need to get together so we can give him a taste of his own medicine

remus: how would that remotely affect james

sirius: i don’t know but we should still do it anyways

[skylarinfinity]

remus : harry, i'm sorry but me and professor male reader leaving hogwarts for good [give harry sympathy smile]

harry : [angry] are you fucking serious?!

male reader : [shocked] how do you know about us and sirius?!

harry : [confused] what-

remus : [sighs] male reader, it's serious not sirius.

male reader : oh...

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[faerycross]

sirius taking a "is my boyfriend autistic" quiz on his pc at the kitchen table and james making tea behind him like "yeah i took that yesterday. your brother is autistic by the way"

[percyweasleyapologist]

Remus: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Remus, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

[outromoony]

Sirius: I don't know how to tell all of you this, so I'm going to whisper it to James, who will inevitably shout it out in surprise.

Sirius: *whispers to James*

James: YOU'RE DATING MOONY?!

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Remus: how did Reggie first came out to you?

Sirius: well there were always signs, but when he really did, he did it by giving me a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

Remus: That's cute

Sirius: It was NOT cute!

Sirius: I thought he was pregnant.

[moondustinfj]

James: He hates me! Why does your uncle hate me Sirius??

Sirius: Oh...Because I told him you were the one who smoked pot in my room when I visited him in 5th year

James: WHAT??

Regulus *coming inside* : Hey, what's going on?

James: Sirius told Alphard that I smoked pot in Sirius' room in 5th year!

Regulus: What? Were you even there?

Sirius: ...I told him he flew out of the window

James: And why did he believe it?

Sirius: Because I told him what an excellent quidditch player you are :)

James: awwww :) you really-

Regulus: NO. Don't even start. Sirius, James and I are supposed to tell him that we live together TODAY and we can't do that if he hates James!

Sirius: Okay! Okay...I'll tell him.

(1 hour later)

Regulus: So. Did you tell him?

Sirius: Yeah about that. I was thinking of maybe writing him a letter-

Regulus: Okay you know what? You had your chance.

Regulus *goes up to Alphard*: Uncle. James didn't smoke pot in 5th year, Sirius did.

Sirius: YOU ARE SUCH A TATTLETALE!!

Alphard: Is this true Sirius?

Sirius: Yes..

Regulus: And uncle. Sirius was the one who melted your collection.

Sirius:

Sirius: REGULUS' ONLY FRIEND FOR YEARS WAS OUR HOUSE ELF

Regulus: *gasp*

Regulus: SIRIUS AND REMUS BROKE UP, GOT TOGETHER AND BROKE UP. AGAIN!

Sirius: REGULUS BECAME A DEATH EATER THEN WENT ON A SECRET MISSION TO FIND THE HORCRUXES. ON HIS OWN!

Regulus: SIRIUS IS GOING TO ASK REMUS TO MARRY HIM!

Remus: what

Sirius: YOU LITTLE- REGULUS AND JAMES ARE LIVING TOGETHER!!

Alphard: ....That is a lot of information to take in 30 seconds. I will have a word with both of you later. And James.

James:

Alphard: You have been Sirius' best friend for years, stuck by him through his drug problem

Sirius: Oh come on, it's not like he never-

Alphard: And now you've taken on Regulus as well. I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.

James: Thank you, sir

Alphard: Please. Call me uncle.

James: Okay...uncle.

Remus:

Remus:

Remus: Okay so am I supposed to ignore the fact that-

[saah4r]

remus/james: has anyone ever told you that they love you?

sirius/regulus: do parents count?

remus/james: yes

sirius/regulus: then no

[liv45no]

Ted: dating a Black is great.

James: so great!

Remus: the best!

Ted: but they tend to be a tad judgmental.

James: almost punitive.

Remus: they are monsters.

Ted: that’s why the three of us formed a secret alliance to help each other cover up our little mistakes :)

[yourgalgremlin]

REMUS: I spent most of 5th year in & out—

SIRIUS: of the hospital wing?

JAMES: of detention?

REGULUS: of Sirius?

REMUS: …of depression.

[incorrectwolfstar]

sirius: i was gonna say we could do a marilyn monroe and john f kennedy roleplay but i’d get too much into it

remus: how?

sirius: because you’d be all sexy and say “come to bed, mr. president,” and i’d be like “i can’t, i need to increase the amount of american military advisors in south vietnam by eighteen.”

[moutainrusing]

Sirius: Look! It’s my teeny weeny brother!

Remus: Are we looking at James or Regulus?

Sirius: Regulus is teeny weeny, James is ickle wickle.

Remus: Well, ‘teeny weeny’ looks like he wants to kill you, and ‘ickle wickle’ looks like he’ll help.

Sirius: They’re bonding!

[spiritstar477]

Sirius: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Remus: baby, I’d make you a lovely little enclosure with all the dirt and compose you’d ever want. I’d hold you and take you places in my pocket and kiss you good night. I’d—. . .

vs

Remus: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Sirius: *thinks* yeah, I’d fuck a worm

Remus: *looks at the camera like in the office*

—————————————————————————————————————

James: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Regulus: it depends… were you always a worm or were you transfigured into one? The former, no, we’d never have met. The latter, then yes, and I’d figure out how to turn you back.

vs

Regulus: would you still love me if I was a worm?

James: yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

—————————————————————————————————————

Barty: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Evan: I’d cut you up so I could have a bunch of you

vs

Evan: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Barty: I’d cut you up so I could have a bunch of you

(bc they’re both batshit insane)

[kingstarkingslay]

Remus: I can't believe you've done this.....

Sirius: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Remus, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

[honeylemonntea]

Remus: “They’re just so frustrating.”

Remus: “Regulus has been dropping obvious hints that he likes James and he still doesn’t get it!”

Sirius: *wearing a ‘PLEASE SNOG ME, MOONY’ hat* “Wow that’s crazy”

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: i've only said i love you to three people. my brother, Pandora, and James when he got hit by a bladger and was dying from the head injury . I only regret one of those.

Remus: which one?

Regulus: James. he recovered like 2 days later so I just looked like an idiot

James: we're married

Regulus: still.