#including whole groups of people that he regularly interacts with

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

Psych professors: I'm going to assign a movie that is so triggering to people with severe mental health issues

[dutchvanwinkle]

Mr Van der Linde Pt. 10 - Dutch x Reader

This is it, angels! The last chapter of the Mr Van der Linde mini-fic. This has been an absolute joy to write, thank you for allowing me to indulge in my fantasy and for being the most wonderful group of enablers a writer could ever ask for. The response to this story has been much more than I expected, and I’ve had the best time sharing it with you. Thank you endlessly for your support and hype <3

It's on ao3, if you'd rather read there!

Summary: You deal with the consequences of your actions.

Word count: 9,037

Content warnings: smoking, drug use

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | PART 9 | PART 10

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You’d blocked Dutch’s number. It was the only thing left to do.  

It was the first action you took upon getting on that train. You knew that if you heard his voice or read a single word from him, you’d cave.

The level of agony you felt was like nothing you’d ever experienced. Your heart was broken, so much so that you were surprised the thing was still able to beat. All of a sudden, two of the most important people in your life were strangers. The man you loved, and your best friend.  

God, you missed them.  

You missed John’s laugh down the phone, or the way his eyes grew heavy after he’d had one too many drinks. You missed the way he’d snuggle into you while hungover or come and see you just so you could sit in a comfortable silence together. He was about to become a father, and there you went piling more stress onto his already heavy load.  

It didn’t bear thinking about how much you missed Dutch. It was too painful to even list the things you loved the most about him, that you knew you’d never get to experience again.  

It was a miracle that your other friends were still speaking to you. The boys had been quiet, siding more so with John but not quite willing to cut you out completely. The girls still got in touch with you regularly, and you weren’t sure what you’d do with yourself if they didn’t.  

Abigail updated you on her pregnancy over the next few weeks, and it was like a knife to the chest at the realisation that you wouldn’t even be able to meet her baby, at least not for a long time.  

She and Karen had been distraught when you announced the news that you weren’t going to attend graduation, but you’d thought it through for long enough. Everyone would be there, family members included. You daren’t even think about how awkward the whole affair would be. Not going was the most sensible thing you could do, and being sensible was at the top of your current list of priorities.  

You’d received a call a week after the party from the job you interviewed for and were offered a place. Without the ability to share the news with those you wanted to hear it most, it’d only made you more depressed.  

It’d taken you a few days to type out the message to John. You started off by saying you were only going to try getting in touch with him this once since you couldn’t bring yourself to ask for his forgiveness; you knew it wasn’t something you deserved. Then, you’d explained how it happened. Sparing him the details, of course, you ran through the timeline of your and Dutch's relationship and gave him the full truth. It felt false and cliché when you started talking about how you hadn’t meant for it to happen, but it was true. To a point. You’d finished off by saying that you would always be there for him, should he ever decide he wanted to interact with you again. Then you clarified that you’d never expect him to and offered him one final apology.  

He’d read it not long after, and you were already prepared for him not to reply, so it wasn’t too much of a bluster when it went unanswered. There was a small, naïve part of you that clung to the possibility that he could, though.  

Graduation was one week away. You wanted it over with, even though you weren’t going, and had planned to take a social media break while everyone posted their smiling photos with relatives and friends.   

Curled up in bed, hiding from the world under your duvet was your most recent pastime as of late, you huffed and shut the book you weren’t able to read. Ever since that day at the Van der Linde’s, you had an awful tension headache that wouldn’t shift no matter what you did. So instead, you shut your eyes, hoping you’d fall into a nap to pass the time.  

After a few minutes, your phone began vibrating and with a tired grunt, you leaned over, becoming instantly more alert at the name that was on your screen.  

John.  

You held the phone in your hands like it would explode if you moved it too harshly, staring at the screen until the call rang out and the vibrating stopped.  

It had to have been an accident. You didn’t want to deal with the awkward scenario of picking up, to be faced with a spluttering John explaining it was a mistake. Then your phone buzzed again, this time with a message.  

Call me when you’re free.  

It was the longest you’d gone without breathing, your body forgetting its most basic survival instinct and going into complete shock. He was finally ready to yell at you, to call you all the names under the sun and explain how badly he wished he’d never met you. You wanted to throw the whole phone away, but he deserved the chance to have a go at you if it’s what he wanted, and you took a deep breath before pressing the call button by his name.  

Time had never moved as slowly as it had during the three rings that elapsed before they stopped, and then John spoke through the phone.  

“Hey.”  

Hearing his voice was enough to make you tear up, but you cleared your throat and willing yourself to remain steady. “Hi.”  

John sighed, and you could only imagine how nauseating it was for him to have to interact with you. “Abigail said you’re not coming to graduation.”  

“No, I’m not.”  

He sighed again, finding his words. “That don’t seem fair.”  

Your eyebrows pulled together, unable to make sense of where this conversation was going. “I don’t reckon I deserve fair,” you said, immediately hearing how self-pitying you sounded. “It’s fine, I don’t want to go anyway.”  

“We both know that’s not true.”  

“It doesn’t matter.” After a beat of silence, your emotions got the better of you. “John, I’m so sorry -”  

“Don’t.” He was stern but softened his voice for his next sentence. “I know we need to talk, but not like this.”  

Unsure what to say, you decided to allow John some room to speak further.  

“Come to graduation. We’re all staying at the house the night before,” you knew that already, just because you didn’t respond in the group chat didn’t mean you weren’t reading the messages, “before we have to pack up and leave.”  

The mere thought of being there with everyone, seeing them all with their families and then seeing Dutch too was enough to send your brain into overdrive. “I can’t.”  

“It won’t be the same without you.”  

You pressed your lips together, hoping to keep your composure just a little while longer. “John, I’m confused. Aren’t you mad at me? Don’t you hate me?”  

“Yes. Mad at you, I mean. I don’t hate you though. Trust me, I tried to,” he sounded reluctant to admit to it. “I’ve had time to think. And I know I’ll regret it if I know I didn’t at least try to get you to come.”  

“You know, I think I’d prefer it if you yelled at me.”  

John laughed mirthlessly. “Part of me wants to, but... it won’t do no good.”  

The silence hung between you, and despite all the things you wanted to say to him, you couldn’t find a single word.  

“Look,” he began. “You still mean a lot to me. You worked hard on this degree and truthfully... I wouldn’t have got mine if it weren’t for you. I want you there with me.”  

You choked, because you didn’t deserve him being so kind and he repeated your name for you to just nod, even though he obviously couldn’t see you. “Sorry,” you whispered, and while it was an apology for your lack of response, you used it as a chance to let out some of the apology hoard you had stored up.  

“Just come, alright? You can leave early if you want. Besides, the others want to see you too.”  

After a shaky breath, you decided it was worth a shot. Even if you went to the house the night before and didn’t attend the ceremony, it was worth a try. You said you’d try to rectify it if you could, and this could be the chance to take the first few steps towards that goal. “Alright. I’ll come.”  

Some of the tension dissipated through the phone, and you waited for John’s response. “Okay. See you next week.”  

Then he hung up.  

After the call ended, your phone navigated to the most recently used app, and you were met with your recent search history, mainly along the lines of can a person run out of tears and is anyone close to inventing time travel yet.  

Had that just happened? You checked the call logs to confirm that yes, it had. John had called you. He hadn’t yelled at you. He hadn’t so much as berated you. He said you meant a lot to him. He said he wanted to talk to you and see you at graduation.  

Holy shit. Your apprehension about not going was immeasurable compared with your apprehension about actually going.  

-

The entire train journey back to university had been spent with you fidgeting, your mind going a million miles an hour at the prospect of what you were about to face.   Karen and Abigail were overjoyed you’d agreed to come, and you had a sneaky suspicion Abigail had played a part in convincing John to get in touch with you, even if she wouldn’t admit it.  

Instead of taking a bus to your rented house like you usually would, you decided to take the walk to stretch your legs, get some fresh air, and prepare yourself for whatever greeted you when you got there.  

But when you did, it still wasn’t enough time. Panic seeped into your veins and your breaths grew short, so you took a seat on the half-wall that acted as a border around your poor excuse for a front garden.   No matter what, you couldn’t still your hands, and reluctantly pulled a cigarette out of the pack that resided in your pocket. You lit it, and once you were halfway done, you heard the front door open behind you.  

You daren’t look around, not wanting to face whoever had caught you wallowing in your guilt.  

But the door clicked shut, and footsteps down the front path preluded John taking a seat beside you.   

“I thought you only smoked casually.”  

“It helps,” you flicked the ash away, not meeting John’s face. “A little.”  

“I see.”  

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, keeping your gaze fixed on the floor with not a single clue on how to have this conversation.   

“How long you plan on sitting out here?” John asked.  

“Not sure,” you mumbled.  

“You know you can’t stay here forever.”  

After a short nod, you plucked up the courage to shift your gaze from the floor and to John. Your dismal state must’ve shown on your face, as he looked at you pitifully. “It's so fucked up,” you began, the tension needling under your skin. “I know it is, I’m so sorry. Sorrier than I know how to express.”   

“I believe you.”  

Why must he be so calm? Where was the John you knew, the one who’d pick a fight at the first opportunity – the one who’d slammed the door open when he’d caught you in the act? “Just yell at me or something, please. I can’t take it.”  

“Don’t rightly think I can, you looking all forlorn as you are,” he hummed, drumming his fingertips on the wall.  

Your face was already a permanent frown, but you felt it deepen. All you wanted to do was cry, even if that was the only thing you’d done over the past few weeks. It seemed a person couldn’t run out of tears, after all.  

John edged closer, and you immediately shook your head. “No, don’t comfort me, I don’t deserve it.”  

“You always do beat yourself up over stuff,” he scoffed gently.  

“No, John. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”  

“You don’t gotta keep saying that.”  

“I don’t know what else I can say.”  

He let out a short breath, stretching his neck out. “I do have one question for you.”  

Your nod in response was almost eager, willing to answer anything he asked.  

“Would you take it back if you could?  

“I –” you stopped to take a breath. “Yeah, of course.”  

“Funny.”  

“Why funny?”  

“Dad said he wouldn’t. And he said that’s what he was the sorriest about, that he’d do it all again given the chance.”  

You weren’t sure what to say, your heart clutching to hear such a thing but not wanting to show it on your face. You’d wondered how he’d taken the whole thing, the urge to ask Abigail had been strong but you knew you wouldn’t have been able to bear the answer either way. It didn't bear thinking about how much you missed him.  

“I have another question.”  

“Shoot.”  

“More of a clarification.”  

“Okay.”  

“You really are in love with each other, aren’t you?”  

You swallowed, shaking your head to look at your lap but you weren’t saying no, and John knew that. “It’s... I...” you sighed, having no more lies left in you. You met John’s concerned gaze.  

“It's okay,” he reassured stiffly.  

“No, it’s not okay. Nothing about it is okay. You mean the world to me,” you pressed your lips together to stop them from quivering as tears gathered in your eyes once more. “None of it matters now,” you added dejectedly.  

John shifted beside you, finally taking his gaze away and instead planting it somewhere ahead of him. “I think it does.”  

“What do you mean?” you asked quietly.  

“He’s been... Well, he’s not been good. He’s sorry, to me, but mainly he’s... Heartbroken, I guess. He’s been so happy recently, we’ve all noticed it, and now he’s just... Not.”  

It pained you to hear how hurt he was. Knowing you were the cause of his pain, denying him even a single word turned your stomach even more. “Oh, I’m... Sorry.”  

John sighed. “I want him to be happy. And I want you to be happy. That’s what means the most to me.”  

“I’m sure we’ll both be fine, eventually. Like I said, it’s not important how either of us feel. We did an awful fucking thing, and I guess we both deserve to feel like shit.”  

“That’s just it,” John paused as you stubbed out your cig with your foot, “maybe being happy is what you deserve.”  

You glanced at him, trepidation and anxiety set into his features. He looked so much older, somehow.  

“I’m not saying I’ve forgiven you. Certainly ain’t forgiven him. I’m not saying I’m your biggest fan right now, either. But I just need a bit of time to get used to it. It ain’t worth losing you,” he said pointedly. “You know what my momma said to me, before she passed?”   John seldom spoke of his mother, and your ears perked up at the privilege of being his audience. “She said one day, he was gonna love someone again. Said she knew it was hard to hear, hard to imagine him moving on, but that he wouldn’t be complete if he didn’t have someone to love. He loves love. Just the way he is. She also said it’d take him a good long while, and it did – I ain’t never seen him in a relationship since her. In her eyes, that meant that when he finally did move on, it would be with someone I could trust. She told me when the time came, to trust him. And to trust that the person he chose would be someone who cared for me, someone I could rely on.”  

Your eyes were brimming by that point, but you didn’t want to do him the disservice of looking away while he was being so raw.   

“She was right,” John shrugged.  

“You really look at what I’ve done,” you said hoarsely, fighting away a sob, “as the action of someone who cares for you? John, if I cared about you I would never have even let the thought cross my mind.”  

“Alright,” he nodded, a challenge, “what about everything else you’ve done in the last few years?”  

You blinked at him.  

“What about when you set me up with Abigail? What about when you convinced me to carry on at uni, even though I wanted to drop out? What about all the times you’ve looked after me when I was too drunk to see? What about all those deep chats we had late at night? What about when Abigail said she was keeping the baby, and you stayed up with me half the night until I finally slept?”  

You didn’t have a response for him.  

“I can’t forget all of that,” he said evenly, “even if right now I am mad at you. I know you, I know that you didn’t intend to hurt me with any of this.”  

“When did you get so grown up?” your face scrunched, John’s words a soothing balm over your open wounds.  

“Can’t expect my kid to turn out alright if I’m still acting like one.”  

“Makes sense.”  

“I’m not saying it won’t be weird, but... I can learn to deal with it.”  

You looked at him with mild incredulity, hardly believing the words coming out of his mouth. “You can’t be serious.”  

“I am.”  

Again, your eyes filled up and you couldn’t stop the tears, holding your fingertips under your eyes to catch them.  

John shuffled closer once again and hesitated, but then put his arm around your shoulders, and you didn’t have it in you to resist nestling into his embrace. “Goddamnit woman,” he scoffed, his voice lighter and more familiar, “will you quit crying already?”  

“Can’t help it,” you sniffed.  

John rested his head on top of yours and you squeezed your eyes shut, wondering what you did to deserve such a wonderful friend.  

After a time, when your tears had dried and your breathing regulated, the two of you ventured inside and were greeted with the sight of your four other friends lazing around in the living room.  

You looked at them sheepishly, but they smiled in response, seemingly relieved to see you and John on the way to being on good terms.  

At first, it was uncomfortable. The situation was somewhat of an elephant in the room, but it didn’t seem like anyone was up for bringing up the topic. These were your final days altogether, the last remaining part of your lives that made you students. After this, while you’d remain friends, you’d never be living together all under the same roof again. You didn’t need another excuse to cry, so you didn’t spend any more time chasing that train of thought.  

Eventually, the conversation flowed easier, and it was almost like you were existing in a time months ago, where you hadn’t made any terrible choices and your friends hadn’t found out about them.  

“Still can’t believe we’re meeting your infamous da,” Abigail mocked Sean, who grinned back at her.  

“Oh, he’s excited to meet the lot of you, too. I assured him you weren’t all a pompous bunch.”  

“My dad’s coming too. Hey,” Javier pointed at you, “make sure you don’t fuck him.”  

You glared at Javier, but at the snorts of laughter around the room you couldn’t help but break into a reluctantly amused smirk. “I have no intention of doing such a thing.”  

“Did you have the intention to fuck Mr Van der Linde?”  

“Can we not.”  

Thankfully, even John was laughing, and while you thought the subject was still too tender to poke fun at, you agreed that this may be the easy way of getting it out in the open.  

“Hey,” John said, “part of the deal with you fucking my dad is that we’re allowed to tease you for it.”  

You shrunk into your seat. “I was not aware of that condition.”   

“No? Would you like my permission to be revoked?”  

You huffed, thoroughly left without a leg to stand on. “No. Fine.”  

Denying John the right to hold this over you, likely for the rest of your life, wasn’t something you could do. If he had to pick on you and tease you, then you’d allow it, so long as it meant the two of you could remain friends.  

The six of you settled into a familiar rhythm, laughing and joking until you were all too tired to continue.  

-

When morning came around and you and the girls began getting ready together, your heart tugged at just how much you valued your sisterhood with them. Despite it all, they’d remained your friends, checked up on you, and attempted to provide a sense of normalcy in your life.  

“Are you nervous?” Abigail spoke into the concentrated silence, all three of you working on your makeup.  

You glanced in your propped-up mirror to see her reflection behind you, awaiting a response. “I assume you’re not talking about walking across the stage.”  

She shook her head in the negative.   Given the past few weeks, you’d had enough practice banishing thoughts of Dutch from your mind that you’d grown rather good at it. That had included today, where you’d disallowed yourself to picture the ways your reunion could play out.   

“I suppose I am a little.”  

“Surely you’re excited, though?” Karen added on, sounding rather excited herself.  

“Why would I be?”  

“Well,” she drawled, “you clearly love the man. Ain’t there a part of you eager to be all lovey-dovey with him again?”  

You turned to frown at her face-on, instead of through the reflection in your mirror. “What? No - I’m not going to carry on seeing him.”  

They observed you, puzzled, and Abigail decided on a response.   “But I thought that was what you agreed on, with John?”  

“He said he’d find a way to deal with it. He shouldn’t have to do that,” you turned back to your mirror and continued preening. “I’m not going to start things up with Dutch again,” you lamented.  

They didn’t question it, but you could feel their confusion in the air. You couldn’t blame them. They decided not to probe the subject further.  

Sure, John had said he’d deal with it. He’d said he wanted you both to be happy. But before all that, you vowed to yourself that you’d do anything to have a friendship with him, and would you really be true to your word if you actively extended his discomfort?  

John’s blessing had been music to your ears at first. But being so forgiving was easier said than done – who's to say he wouldn’t grow to resent you, the damage to your friendship being irreparable? It wasn’t a risk you could take.  

-

Thankfully, the ceremony was the first thing on the agenda that day. There were no awkward encounters to be had, and you got to walk across the stage without falling over and receive your degree in relative peace. Again, you’d actively pushed the prospect of seeing Dutch again out of your mind until you were forced to deal with it in real-time.  

But once the ceremony was finished, it was time for everyone to socialise in the sunny courtyard while the graduates took photos with their family and friends, leaving nowhere left for you to hide. Unless...  

Thanks to your newfound habit, you excused yourself once the six of you had taken a group picture, proof that you had in fact been there, and had at least waited a few minutes before running away.  

There was a quiet alley round the side of the main building, the wall of which you leaned up against and brought your newly lit cigarette to your lips. It was nice to decompress, and with all that’d happened in the last twenty-four hours alone, it was nice to have some peace.  

You took your time, eventually lighting a second cigarette and deciding this would not be a healthy habit to keep up.  

“When did you start smoking?”  

That cigarette was nearly choked into your mouth at the baritone of Dutch’s voice, one you hadn’t heard in a longer while than you cared to admit.  

You had to face him at some point, you supposed. At least this wasn’t in front of a whole group of people.  

Slowly, you turned, the man himself coming into view. His hands were casually in his pockets, and as always, his suit was immaculate, and hair perfectly styled. There was one noticeable difference though; he looked tired.  

“Gives me an excuse to escape. Plus,” you shunted the cigarette up a bit, “I miss the taste.” You looked at his lips, the hundreds of drunken kisses the two of you had shared that always had an underlying hint of tobacco. Dutch brushed his fingertips over your hand, and you pulled away, refusing to meet his gaze.   

“Please, I can’t.”  

“Didn’t John speak to you?”  

“Yes, but it doesn’t matter. He’s not okay with it, regardless of what he says.”  

Dutch’s shoulders dropped, and he leaned on the wall opposite you. His gaze was fixed on you, and you eventually met it.  

The two of you looked at each other for a short while, and it was like you could read his mind, and tell him what you were thinking and feeling without saying a single word.  

You missed him, you were sorry, he missed you, he was sorry.  

More than anything, you wanted to wrap your arms around him and never let go, kiss him until your lips ached, and make a home in the crook of his neck.  

“You blocked my number.” It wasn’t a question.  

“I had to,” you took a drag and rolled the cigarette between your fingers once you’d dropped your hand back by your side.  

“Did you really? You couldn’t have at least said goodbye – after all we’ve been through?”  

“Don’t make me feel bad,” your tone came out angered, and you swiftly reeled yourself in. “I couldn’t feel any worse about the whole thing if I tried. There was no other choice, not if I wanted a chance at earning back John’s friendship.”  

“The way I hear it, the two of you are already getting on.”  

“He’s being kind. Kinder than I deserve and we’re a long way off repairing our friendship.”  

Dutch nodded, and it hurt to see the pain that’d made camp on his face.  

“How are things with the two of you?”  

“Long way off,” he echoed. “He didn’t speak to me for a while, but he’s starting to be civil. I’m surprised by him, truth be told.”  

“Why?”  

“He’s been real grown up about it all,” his lips twitched with an unmitigated fondness, “we talked it all out, and he actually listened to my side of it. That’s two of my boys out-manning me, now.”  

“Is Arthur okay?” you asked at the mention of him.  

“Yeah,” he said noncommittally, “not happy with me either, but can’t say I blame him. Especially not after the Molly business.”  

“I did try telling him you weren’t to blame.”  

“I know.” The look he gave you was grateful, and you couldn’t only imagine the grief he’d received from the two men.  

It was surreal to see him standing there. You wondered if you’d even remember this conversation in a week's time, or whether it’d be some lucid recollection you wouldn’t be able to pick out words from.   

“Did you hear back about that interview?”  

You nodded. “They offered me a job.”  

Despite his saddened expression, a glint of pride broke its way through. “Congrats. You’ll do well there, should you decide to take it.”  

“Thanks.” It wasn’t quite the reaction you’d pictured in your mind before all this nasty business, instead, it’d be Dutch pulling you into a boisterous embrace and immediately coming up with a schedule to ensure the two of you saw each other regularly enough.  

His pained eyes glanced down your form and made their way back up to your face. The crease between his brows was permanently etched there now, it seemed.  

“I’m sorry they found out that way,” he said.  

“Me too. I don’t blame you for it.”  

“Please,” he took a hesitant step towards you. “Reconsider. Is it not worth us trying, at least? John’s okay with it -”  

“He is not. He’s only saying that because he feels obliged.”  

“That’s not true, he came to me to talk about it, said he wants us to be together -”  

“Do you not hear how insane that sounds? Why would he want his father and b- friend to be in a relationship?”  

“Sorry to interrupt,” John’s voice broke into your conversation as he strolled over to the pair of you, “but my ears were burning.”  

You both just looked at him, simmering back into your own spaces – it wasn’t a conscious decision to edge closer to Dutch.  

“You’re arguing,” he observed.  

“I -” you sighed, itching your brow, and abandoned your unformed sentence in favour of another drag from your cigarette.  

“This is meant to be a happy day,” Dutch said guiltily.  

“No, I know. I think I should go –”  

“No,” John put a hand on each of your shoulders, stopping you from walking away from the situation. “Look, I’ll be honest, I’m tired of him moping,” he gestured his head towards his father.  

Dutch slipped the cigarette from between your fingers and brought it to his mouth for a long drag. It was like static where his skin had brushed against yours, and your eyes lingered on his lips as he took a drag. He went to hand it back to you, but you shook your head.  

“Keep it.”  

“And I’m tired of you being so hard on yourself,” he narrowed his eyes at you, before looking between you both once more. “You shouldn’t have done what you did. You shouldn’t have gone behind my back for so long.”  

The pair of you glanced at each other, scolded but in agreement with him.  

“But I understand why you did. For the pair of you to do this, to take it this far – it must be something genuine.”  

More genuine than you cared to admit. Being without Dutch was like being without a limb.  

“You deserve the chance to test it out in the open. Ideally,” he huffed in mild amusement, “not too open. I don’t wanna watch you canoodling. But still. You do have my blessing,” he squeezed your shoulder, “and I’m not just saying that. I’ve thought about it, and I mean it.”  

There were no words, so you rested your hand over John’s that was still planted on his shoulder.   

“Thank you, son,” Dutch said, his voice cracking despite his hardened demeanour.  

“Now,” John lightened his tone and the mood, “from what I hear they’re about to open the bar. And I don’t know about either of you but I sure as hell need a drink.”  

“I sure do,” you agreed quietly, and Dutch beckoned for the two of you to proceed, and you all made your way over to the bar.  

-

After John’s talk, you began to settle into the idea of trying again with Dutch. You were still hesitant, but since Dutch had reminded you to unblock his number, he’d messaged you regularly and gently brought you around to the idea.  

So, you’d started talking more frequently, general chitchat and while it wasn’t quite the same, you found yourself valuing his conversation much more than you had previously. Still, you were hesitant to visit him, but Dutch agreed to ease back into the relationship, and going long periods without seeing him wasn’t an alien concept to you considering that’d been the norm for over two years.  

It was only a few more weeks until John messaged the group chat saying Abigail had gone into labour, and he’d sent you a private message saying it might be a good time for you to go to his house, considering nobody would be there and you could have some alone time together.  

Dutch too had messaged you, and you allowed your chest to grow warm at the thought of them colluding to convince you to come round. He’d confirmed the house was empty save for him, Tilly spending half of her summer staying at Arthur and Charles’ place.  

You decided to bite the bullet and agreed, getting the train that same day before you had a chance to chicken out. Unsurprisingly, Dutch stood firm in his decision to pick you up from the station.  

The car journey to his house had been quiet, the two of you not knowing where you stood or how to approach the situation. Arriving at his house and seeing the big stone driveway was enough to make your heartbeat quicken, the memory of your last visit resurfacing.   

Dutch had made you a hot drink, and the two of you were sat outside in the late evening summer sun, thankful for the chirping birds that filled the silence.   

“If you’re uncomfortable, please tell me. I’ll take you home, and I won’t be offended,” he said gently.  

“I’m not uncomfortable,” you settled him, “it’s just a little strange as all. Didn't think I'd ever be here again.”  

After a long sigh, Dutch shifted in his seat, angling himself towards you as though he had a secret he wanted only you to hear. “I have a plan.”  

You raised your eyebrows at him. “A plan for what?”  

“Making you a little more comfortable.”  

“Let’s hear it.”  

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blunt.  

You couldn’t resist laughing, looking at him in shock. “You want to get high?”  

“Why not?”  

“Because,” you began, though no reason came to mind why you shouldn’t. “Because - is that a good idea?”  

“Course. Might help us loosen up a little.” His charming smile made you feel all fuzzy – his under eyes were less dark than when you’d seen him last and he looked overall more like himself. He was dressed down in a t-shirt and jeans, and you were appreciative of the delightful view of those hairy forearms of his.  

“I didn’t even know you got high.”  

“Where do you think John gets it?”  

“You sell drugs?” your face shifted from shocked to understanding, “no wonder you’re so rich.”  

“I do not sell drugs.”  

“No. Just to your son?”  

“No, I don’t want him buying overpriced shit from some sketchy dealer. If he’s going to do drugs, he’s going to at least do good drugs. Besides, I don’t support the criminalisation of it.”  

“Right,” you laughed, not wanting to spur him onto his well-worn soap box. “Well then,” you plucked it from his fingers to rest it between your teeth and reached into his pocket where you knew he kept his lighter, relishing in the tensing of his thighs, and flicked it on to light the end of the joint. “Let us not waste any time.”  

You blew out the smoke and handed it to him, his face looking close to boyish with his grin in response. “I like your attitude.” Dutch took an inhale of his own, and either you really did have a thing for guys when they smoked or this was some strong stuff, because you began to feel all tingly.  

Relaxing back on the bench, you took in the view of the garden and tipped your head back, allowing the sun to graze over your face. “I have missed being here.”  

“I’ve missed having you here,” Dutch said, and you cracked an eye open at him, to see him observing you fondly. “I’m glad, in a way.”  

“About what?”  

“It happening the way it did.”  

“Why?”  

“We don’t have to hide it any longer,” he rested his arm on the bench behind you, “the sneaking around was growing tiresome.”  

“I suppose,” you took the blunt from him and brought it to your lips. “Still, not sure I’ll ever recover from that look on John’s face.”  

“Let’s not go back there right now. I’ve spent too much time in that space recently.”  

You handed the joint back to him thoughtfully. “Has your mental health been okay?”  

Dutch chuckled knowingly. “It has not. Thankfully, I’ve learnt to recognise the unhealthy thought patterns, and I was on a higher dose of medication for a while.”  

“You’re not now?”  

“No,” he shook his head, blowing out the smoke. “After John’s talk, after I could speak to you again – it all calmed down.”  

“I see. I’m sorry you were suffering.”  

“That’s alright,” he shrugged, passing the joint over to you. Dutch was going to say something else when your phone buzzed, and you pulled it from your pocket, expression brightening at what greeted you on the screen.  

“Congratulations are in order,” you tilted the screen towards him, and he looked over your shoulder at the photo of a baby clutched in Abigail’s arms with John leaning over, a tired grin on his face.  

Dutch’s face softened into excitement, and he took his reading glasses from his pocket to place them on his face and get a better look. “Oh my, look at that.”  

Another photo came through, a close-up of the baby accompanied by a message from John sent to the group chat.  

Jack’s here. Abigail had a tough delivery, but she was great, and we now officially have a healthy son. Can’t wait for you all to meet him.  

Very to the point, and very on-brand for John. “Jack,” you crooned, “that’s lovely.”  

Dutch patted his pocket, scoffing. “My phone’s in the kitchen, let me go text him.”  

“You remember the weed, but not your phone while your grandson is being born?”  

“Oh hush,” he muttered as he walked into the house.  

He returned a few minutes later, while you’d messaged your congratulations along with the rest of your friends.  

“How’s it feel to be a grandfather?”  

“Good, oddly enough,” Dutch settled beside you, noticeably closer than he had been previously, but you didn’t mind. He took the joint from you and had a couple of drags.  

“He’s gorgeous,” you smiled, and the two of you settled into a rhythm of smoking and chatting while the sun bathed you in its rays.   

It was a lovely evening, and it wasn’t long before the joint was burnt out and you’d slowly slipped to be nestled into Dutch’s side, his head resting on yours and fingertips running over your palm.   The two of you remained like that, fully relaxed and happy just to be near each other, the odd shift in position the only thing to break the peaceful silence.  

The movement of Dutch’s fingers had transmuted to the brushing of his palm up your arm, and you tilted your head to look at him. His hands felt so good, so firm and warm, his rings leaving a cool trail in their wake.  

He glanced down at you, face content, and you couldn’t help but admire how gorgeous he was.  

“I’m hungry.”  

“I can order -”  

You cupped his jaw and attached your lips to his, not sure you could wait a single moment longer. The two of you still hadn’t shared a kiss since you’d arrived, and the weeks of longing to have his lips on yours had been agonising.   

“Oh,” he said once you’d pulled away.   

You laughed softly, edging closer despite already being pressed up against him. His eyes had already grown hungry too, and you realised you weren’t hungry at all. You were ravenous.  

The two of you demanded the next kiss at the same time, one not nearly enough to make up for all those you’d missed out on. He gripped your waist, and you twisted your hand into the collar of his shirt, the two of you not willing to part with the taste of each other's mouths.   

“Darlin’,” he breathed when you both finally surfaced for air, and you touched the tip of your nose to his. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed that.”  

“Believe me,” you pecked the corner of his mouth, “I do.”  

He ran a hand over your hair and tilted his head when your expression turned devious. “Do I even want to ask?”  

You shook your head and stood, leaving him still leaning forward where your body was now absent. “I’d rather show.”  

With that you walked into the house, Dutch’s rushed and uneven footsteps soon following behind.  

“What are we doing?” he said, excited, as you led him towards the study.  

Once there, you sat on his desk and parted your legs. “I believe we have some unfinished business.”  

“Oh,” he smirked and stopped in his tracks, running a hand through his hair and visibly less rigid thanks to the herbs in his system.   

His eyes were fixed on the spot between your thighs as he stalked towards you, reaching his hands out and gripping your thighs once he was close enough, pulling them even further apart and growling from his chest as he nestled his crotch between them. You bit down on your lip when you felt how hard he was, becoming acutely aware of how much wetter you were than usual, likely a mix of your heightened senses and the given circumstance.  

“I do admire your thoroughness, miss,” he murmured into your ear, trailing his lips over your lobe and down your neck.  

You sighed weakly into the air and let your eyes fall shut, thighs attempting to tighten around him, but his grip was like iron as he kept your thighs in place. Then his lips were gone, and you opened your eyes to see that he was too. You looked down to find him knelt between your legs. “Thirsty?” you teased, and he grinned up at you, black pupils taking up almost all of his iris’.   

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” he pushed the material of the dress up your legs and nuzzled his nose into your mound. “I do love you in a summer dress,” he murmured, and you could feel the vibrations from his baritone.  

Dutch chuckled at your feeble attempt of pushing your hips closer to him, not relenting with his grip.   

“Don’t worry sweet girl, I don’t have it in me to tease you right now.”  

There was no time to answer before his mouth was on you, pressing over the wet material of your underwear. Dutch licked up your slit, tangling his tongue with the fabric and you whined, placing your hands behind you on the cool wood of his desk.   

“That’s it,” he said, taking your underwear between his teeth to move it to the side, “let me hear you.”  

You glanced down at him, the infatuation plain on his face as he stared at your dripping pussy. “What happened to not teasing me?”  

“This is not teasing. Do you want to see teasing?”  

“Dutch,” you warned, and he could hear the seriousness filter through your playful tone.  

“Not tonight,” he decided, and dived right into his favourite meal.  

Dutch kissed and sucked your skin, the responsiveness of your pussy providing him with more hydration than he could manage to take in, but he appeared up for the challenge. Gentle flicks of his tongue over your clit turned into a deep drag of it over your inner walls and you gasped his name repeatedly as he thoroughly lavished you with his tongue.  

Your ecstatic orgasm came around fast, and you were sure you didn’t breathe for a minute straight as he drank up all you could give him. His hands had you trapped in place so you were powerless to buck your hips and instead had to let it all go right there, and Dutch was panting when he removed his mouth from you.  

“Du -”  

He pulled you into a kiss by the back of your neck, using his other hand to undo his jeans and shuck them down far enough to pull out his cock and ease into your accommodating cunt.  

“Good lord,” he groaned, unable to focus on kissing you as your walls tensed, begging for his cock to never leave the home it found itself nestled in. “I never,” he gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger once he’d pulled himself together, “want to go so long without your pussy again.”  

“Deal,” you kissed him, spotting the small window of opportunity while he was distracted to pull your legs from his grip and wrap them around his hips, coaxing him even further in and he let out a pained whimper.   

His hands grabbed the swell of either side of your ass, experimentally offering a few slight thrusts, but the sensation was enough to drive you wild. His thick cock felt perfect, and you mused whether that was the extra limb you’d been missing all this time.    

The small thrusts turned to longer, languid ones that had you whining, Dutch obsessive with the way he clung to your body and began fucking you stupid.  

Nothing else mattered aside from the euphoric pleasure racing through your body, being drilled into and marked by Dutch in what you assumed was every way he could think of. Nips to your collarbones, fingertips digging into your flesh, pussy fucked so deeply the skin felt raw. You didn’t care. The two of you were together again, and as was always the case when you fell into each other’s arms, the world was right again.  

“Shit,” Dutch grunted, blinking his eyes tightly as he watched himself disappear into you at a reckless pace, now not the time for tender loving. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pressing your nose against his neck and breathing in the sheen of sweat on his skin. He was being greedy, his brain chasing one thing, the only thing that mattered at that moment. “It’s like you were made for me,” he began to babble to himself, and you knew he was close, so you held your own approaching orgasm until he was ready, “you’re so perfect, s-so fucking -”  

Even words began to fail him as your body overtook every one of his thoughts, and that was a sentiment you shared as he fucked you deep and you cried out Dutch, because what other words were there?  

He came hard, leaking into you as he pressed his hips forward, the desk jolting with the motion and you allowed your release to finally come too. His hands searched for an anchor, landing on the small of your back as he held you to him until he was completely empty.  

The air around the two of you hummed, your bodies becoming soft and pliant at the familiar comfort of having your arms wrapped around each other. Eventually, each of you inched away to get a good look at the other.  

Dutch’s eyelids were heavy, lips still shining with the remnants of you, and his hair had fallen around his face. He took in the view of you too and relaxed into a content smile, leaning forward to press his lips to yours, a tender act considering how hard he’d just defiled you. Neither of you had anything to say that would surmount the feelings you were experiencing in that moment.  

So, you remained silent, breathing in one another until you were finally ready to face him pulling out.  

As he tidied himself up, you leaned back on his desk and glanced to the side of his desk, noticing a picture frame. You took it in your hands and laughed minimally at the subject of the photo. “I can’t believe you have a picture of me here but not John.”  

Despite the situation, Dutch'd made sure you get a photo with you at your graduation, you not realising he’d intended for it to take pride of place on his (now tainted) desk.  

“I look better in this photo,” he said matter-of-factly. His expression softened when you raised your brows in questioning. “Or, perhaps you just make me look good.”  

You shook your head, for him to shrug himself of judgement and join you in admiring the photo after he’d planted a kiss on your forehead.  

It was true; you did look good together.  

-

You’d intended to only stay at Dutch’s for a few days but found yourself not wanting to leave his side. In the end, you’d gone home for a single night to grab more stuff and made your way back to him first thing the next morning.  

The day finally came when Abigail and John returned, and you watched them from the window as they made their way up the driveway, a carrier in hand. Dutch’d been fretting about the nursery – which the blue spare room had been turned into, and you were glad you hadn’t needed to part with ‘your’ room even if you did stay in Dutch’s - and whether it had everything it needed, despite already buying far too much stuff. Little Jack was surely going to be spoilt.   

While you were overjoyed to get to spend so much time with the baby, Abigail and John were also happy to have you and Dutch on hand to take over when they needed a break, you ended up returning home for a time after being there for a couple of weeks, the start date at your new job just around the corner.  

Since you spent the majority of your time working from home, it didn’t matter whether you stayed at your house or Dutch’s. Not wanting to rush too much into your relationship, or crowd the new family under the roof, you and Dutch agreed to a few nights a week at his place, then you'd spend the rest of it at yours. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t attempt to convince you to stay one extra night every time you had to leave, though.  

Being around John while staying with his father had been awkward at first. But soon, as with all change, it became the new normal. It was nice, really, having him and Abigail so close by. It hadn’t taken long for Jack to become your favourite member of the family.  

It was a few months down the line, and the Van der Linde house was full. John had worked through his nerves, but having family on hand, he’d begun taking fatherhood in his stride. He’d been grateful for you too, and you couldn’t deny that you were secretly pleased about having the advantage of the chance to be Jack’s favourite Auntie, aside from Tilly of course.  

You were all in the garden after Dutch’d done a small barbeque, you stood by the table bobbing little Jack in your arms. “I do love being an auntie,” you expressed to the group, infatuated with the baby’s gorgeous cheeks.  

Abigail turned to you; her face pensive. “Wouldn’t you be his step-grandma?”  

Not that you’d expected anything less, but even Abigail had taken to the now-popular hobby of teasing you. Somehow, even Dutch had gotten in on the action. He snickered, John’s laugh echoing from the kitchen (his selective hearing was truly a wonder) before he walked outside and gave Abigail a proud kiss on the head.   

“Isn’t your momma just the funniest?” you said down to Jack, after taking an offended pause.  

She grinned at you, and you couldn’t help but return the smile.  

Eventually, you’d parted with your nephew (no, he was not your step-grandson no matter what anyone said) and began taking the plates into the kitchen, loading them up into the dishwasher.   

Dutch seized the opportunity to pat your ass as you were bent down, and you scoffed at him. “Perv.”  

He laughed easily, bringing in the cutlery and loading it in himself. After you’d turned on the washing machine, you both took to watching the small family through the window, sitting on a mat on the grass and marvelling at Jack who’d recently learnt how to roll over.  

“Now that kid will be a genius,” hummed Dutch, and you tutted at him.  

“Will you leave the poor boy alone before you start locking him up with the books?”  

Dutch ran his hands around your waist, holding you comfortably from behind, his warm and inviting torso a perfect cushion for your back. “I’ve half a mind to lock you up.”  

“Oh, I’m sorry – do I not allocate enough time to you?” you quipped, and he chuckled into your hair.  

“Not nearly enough to satiate me.”  

You tsked through your teeth, resting your hands on top of his.  

“I’m serious,” he added, and you glanced round to catch his eye.  

“Oh, come on, what now?”  

“I’ve been thinking...”  

“I’ve learnt to view that sentence as a warning.”  

Dutch’s eyes crinkled with his amusement, and he placed a kiss on your temple. “All I’m saying is I would love to have you here permanently. I say it not as a demand, not for something to do right now, but something to let brew in that wonderful mind of yours.”  

“And you say I’m the one always jumping to the next step,” you kissed him sweetly, and he tightened his hold around you as you looked back out the window.  

“It’s a mere suggestion, darlin’. Something for you to ponder when you find yourself bored.”  

All you could do was smirk, this irrevocably charming man always willing to prove his need to have, which you’d deduced was just another name for a more potent form of desire; a thing he seemed to have in bucket-loads for you. You rested your head back against him, revelling in the promise of comfort and belonging that kept you company whenever you found yourself in his arms.  

“Whatever you say, Mr Van der Linde.”  

a/n: hopefully none of you need the reminder but pls don't fuck your best friend's dad, author does not condone it. also I know Dutch would probably be an absolute nightmare on weed given his paranoia, but in this universe that’s not a thing because I don't want it to be :)

[proofwhisky]

regarding the post i made earlier; i was told that cillian murphy is a problematic face claim to use as he himself is a white man and not romani in any way, and i said i would be removing all content involving him from my page. this is an update on that. please read it so that you can make an informed decision about whether or not you continue to follow or interact with me.

i completely agree with the sentiment that tommy was miscast and agree with the fact that romani people are regularly pushed out of media spaces and misrepresented when they are included. i agree that peaky blinders is not at all an accurate source of roma culture or people and, in fact, i think the show is blatantly harmful in many aspects when it comes to romani representation. i agree that all representation is important and i agree that i, as someone writing a fake british man for free on the internet, do have some degree of responsibility when it comes to accurately portraying a roma character.

i have done, and will continue to do, as much research as possible when it comes to even the smallest details of tommy's roma heritage and culture. i have always, since the beginning of this blog, included the fact that tommy is roma and all that it entails in his own life as often as possible in every thread, headcanon and verse. i have never dismissed, denied or even downplayed his being romani. there has always been a section in my rules about roma culture and my portrayal of it, which i have recently updated to include my opinion of the way peaky blinders treats roma culture and people. i do not use slurs and only reference prejudice or racism as a necessary part of tommy's story, not as some arbitrary plot point or source of conflict.

that said: i will not be remaking my blog or discontinuing my use of cillian murphy as a face claim for thomas shelby.

i recognize that, when confronted with an opinion from a member of a culture about something in my portrayal that is wrong, it is my duty to fix it and continue on, not repeating the mistake. i have done this and will continue to do this. i also recognize that, due to the context and culture here on tumblr regarding things like callouts and cancellation, anything other than complete and utter obedience to any demand or accusation from a member of a marginalized group will be met with some kind of blowback. i recognize that many will assume that this is me desperately clinging to or defending a conventionally attractive white man even though this post is not about the face claim, it's about the culture that has even made this an issue in the first place. i also recognize that it will likely be considered as me dismissing or ignoring the voice of said marginalized group of people when i say, emphatically, that i have not made any sort of harmful mistake.

the person who approached me about this is roma and stated extremely valid facts about (and their issues with) media representation as a whole. i agree with their grievances about this whole heartedly. this person has also stated that they are an avid supporter of only necessary callout posts, not the airing of personal opinions. i hope that my response will not be considered fodder for any kind of callout.

i have been on tumblr under the same pseudonym, gami, for over 14 years, and have never once been involved, even passively, with any sort of drama or problematic behavior. unfortunately for all of us, i have as much a right to be here as anyone else. i will not hold it against you if you cut ties for your own health and safety in the event that a callout or some such involving me does happen, but i will not be going anywhere either way.

the single issue with which i was confronted lies with the fact that a white man was cast for a romani part. the fact that he was cast was and is wrong. i acknowledge and agree. the fact that his entire family was cast with white actors for romani people is wrong. i acknowledge and agree.

that does not change the fact that they were, unfortunately and wrongfully, cast. it also does not change the fact that i did not cast them. i did not produce or write peaky blinders. cillian murphy has never said anything harmful regarding romani culture or people. he is not profiting financially from this blog. i am also not profiting financially from this blog. i am not officially affiliated with peaky blinders in any way. i have always done, and will continue to do, my absolute best to respectfully portray tommy's race and culture and to do better than the source material did.

i do not personally believe that using the only content available to me, through no fault of my own, while frequently and vocally disagreeing with much of the source material's content here and on discord is wrong. i am not any kind of influencer, i have never claimed to be someone who is a source of romani culture, nor do i claim to be an authority on anything, including what is and is not problematic.

if my reaction or this post has made you feel as though you would rather not be seen interacting with me, i understand completely and i wish you the best. do whatever you need to do to keep yourself comfortable and safe. all i ask is that you block me on everything and do your best to tell people the truth about me if they ask.

happy holidays.

[catknifetime]

dni lists are so weird to me, because literally what are they supposed to do? They’ll often include various kinds of bigots, but do you really think that an aesthetic carrd linked in your bio will genuinely keep bigots away? Or sometimes they’ll include people who disagree with you on some hot topic internet discourse, I think the most common ones I see are for “transandphobia truthers”, “proshippers”, “transmasc lesbians/their supporters”, and whatever stance you don’t hold on AI art. But again, what is this actually supposed to do? Like maybe someone who disagrees with you will just not follow you or block you, but this is the internet. More likely they’ll see that and try to start a fight. And also, how many people do you think actually read every blog they follow/interact with’s dni list? Like even as someone making a post talking about this, I’ve read very few dni lists. I’ve also seen dni lists that just include really unrealistic and kinda silly things, I think the most common one I see in this category is men dni. It’s so weird because like oh yah, you sure got 49% of the planet’s population with that one. Not a single man will interact with this blog, not even by accident because he didn’t read your dni list. And it’s the same for others in the category, they’re usually such large groups (btw I mean groups not based on beliefs, but on fundamental things like gender/race/sexuality) that it’s a little ridiculous to try and put them all in the “I don’t want to see you” bin. Actually I just remembered maybe the only reasonable dni which is minors dni for adult content. Obviously minors will still interact with adult content no matter how hard we try to make them stop, but it’s always good to put a warning for adult content. Coincidentally minors dni is about the only dni I regularly see outside of a full dni list.

Really the whole idea seems more like a performative thing for other people who already share your beliefs than a way to keep away people who don’t. Part of the reason I think so is that most blogs that actually have a dni list (especially a carrd) I’ve seen, have very similar lists. The whole thing feels kinda immature, like it has the same energy as a “no girls allowed” sign on a 10 year old boy’s tree house.

[palpipeen]

Fic Concept

Y'all know the drill, no childrens I'm far too old y'all bye

CW: Zombie apocalypse, OCs (??? EGADS, WRETCHED VIBES. Jk y'all are cowards for not interacting with peoples' work with OCs, mine included. <3), and weed. Lots of weed.

So anyway back when the cast of TLoU the show was pitched I was like 'oh no. My obsession with Joel will increase.' And at the time I was also coming down from my manic-high point of my obsession with Mando,so I was like 'well fuck I still like the dude's whole vibes and I know I will EVEN MORE. What do??'

Then I started smoking weed regularly and was like 'oh shit, what if weed dealer during zombocalypse'

Thus Green's Pastures was spawned in the hellscape of my brain

So the idea is this. At the beginning of the pandemic when I first pitched this idea to a friend they said, 'yeah the pandemic has really shown me how valuable weed dealers are' and I was like 'yeah shit they are.' Thus I got it in my head that a weed dealer would probably be seen as a VALUABLE resource during a zombie apocalypse, and I made a character named Koryn Dunn, who most people call 'Green' (For really funny and not at all stupid reasons)

Green has managed to keep a plot of land for growing purposes, where they have an entire pack of dogs and two roommates who've been with them since the start of The Event. One day Green wakes up to their roommates not being there and a few of the dogs are gone. This is normally not an issue, but then one of them turns up with three people with their hands tied up and all of their possessions taken because the leader of the trio was 'stealing ammo'

The leader who has two children with him.

Enter the leader: Benedicto, aka Ben or Benny, a retired military man who was forced back into the role of a soldier following The Event. He's not exactly like Joel but ANYWAY

the whole fic is just about the groups merging and Green having to leave their pastures for

wait for it

greener pastures

ANYWAY felt like sharing it, might write like 50k words about it then delete HAHAHA

[cylidae]

A Detailed Consideration of Every Peter Ship

I ship Peter from Divergent with literally everybody. For the sake of this, I'm throwing out my own version of Peter (for the most part) because my version is gay, and that'd eliminate a lot of people on this ranking. I wanna give my thoughts on the ships in terms of chemistry, not just say "He's gay, no." to every ship with a girl. The girls may rank lower due to this bias, though. I'm skipping over people who are significantly older for obvious reasons along with skipping people Peter's never met because I'd have nothing to talk about. Without further ado, let's start.

PETER X TRIS:

No. Just no. I despise this ship so much. We get to see inside Tris's mind, and not once does she ever have a kind thought about Peter. My headcanons about Peter associating Tris with his sister really doesn't help with my distaste for this. I don't like Tris and I adore Peter.

PETER X MYRA:

I almost didn't put this one on the list because I'm not sure that Peter and Myra had any notable interactions, but I included every other initiate from their group, so it felt rude to leave Myra out. I don't like this idea, sorry. In my Edward is abusive AU, I can imagine them bonding and comforting each other over that, but it's platonic for me. I've never been a fan of the trope where characters escape an abusive relationship and can only move on and feel okay again by dating somebody else. As if you need a partner to "save you." Plus, trauma isn't a great relationship foundation.

PETER X ERIC:

This is a hard one for me. On one hand, I go off of the books, and in the books, Eric is 18. On the other, he's 24 in the movies, and some part of me still sees him as that. I also don't love shipping things with a huge power imbalance. It's essentially teacher x student, and I'm not comfortable with that. I do use this pairing occasionally as a situation where Peter is being abused/groomed, but other than that, it just rubs me the wrong way.

PETER X CHRISTINA: I have to admit that I don't care much for this ship. While I'm all for enemies to lovers, Christina doesn't have object permanence for Peter after the first book. If there was more of an arc to their relationship or if they continued being bitter to each other throughout the whole book series, I could get behind this. As is, though, it feels like they slowly fade out without any fanfare.

PETER X MOLLY:

Ehhhh... See, this is where my gay Peter bias shines through. I do like the idea of these two absolutely atrocious people just chilling as the world's worst couple, but I just can't quite get behind it. No real reason, but it doesn't appeal to me.

PETER X FOUR: Technically, this has the same teacher/student problem as Peter and Eric, but due to the facts that Four is 18 in both the movies and books, Four is just a trainer while Eric is a faction leader, and after book one Four has no power over him, this is better. I can't say I love this ship or that I'll ever make any content for it, but it's serviceable. I can think of a few good ideas.

PETER X AL: I've never considered this one before making this tierlist for some reason, but I'm fond of this idea! I like the idea of putting Peter, an absolute wreck, with a total sweetheart. It's even more interesting when you consider that he helped Peter try and toss his friend off a cliff. Perhaps there was a bigger reason than rankings he tried that?

PETER X WILL: Another one that I never considered before this list, but I like it a lot for some reason. I'll always be a slut for enemies to lovers, but enemies and lovers at the same time is even better. I'd love to see Will talking with Tris and co about Peter and he say something like "Well, he's not that bad..." and everybody just stares at him in horror. I can't rank this any higher due to Will's early death, but it has potential.

PETER X EDWARD:

This is the first ship on the list that I actually use regularly. These two have huge bitter ex boyfriend vibes and I'm here for it. The situation also isn't as black and white as it seems. Edward claims that the reason Peter stabbed him was a physical altercation that Peter did not emerge the victor of. What... what did you do, Edward?

PETER X MOLLY X DREW: I had to edit to add this. Don't know how I forgot it considering I loved this ship for a while a couple years back. Anyways, this is awesome. I love the idea of these three demons just casually and happily dating. Fantastic.

PETER X DREW:

Now this. This is where it's at. Drew is the person who sticks by Peter and the only person who I feel genuinely likes him. He's constantly taking the fall for Peter's actions without complaint. I love framing these two as an unrequited love situation, where Drew will do anything for Peter to notice him, and Peter takes advantage of that again and again. Drew gets hurt for it and Peter never has to grow as a person since Drew will never give him consequences for his actions. It's terrible for both of them and I love it.

PETER X CALEB: Anybody who knows me knows where this is ranking. C'mon. These two are awesome together. Throughout the entire second book, the two would have been in Erudite together without the rest of the cast. Anything could've happened. Not to mention, Tris sees them together chatting on the plane, and when Four tries to talk to Peter, he mentions that he and Caleb are in a "Tried to kill Tris club." You just know that these two are bonding over their shared guilt at being horrible people. Plus, Caleb volunteered to go turn off the memory serum (and died in the process) and that's when Peter did the Divergent equivalent of committing suicide without ever knowing Caleb backed out. Maybe things would've been different if he had known.

[robynchallinor]

How a Museum Art Program Benefits those with Alzheimers Disease

With the number of older people increasing steadily across the United States, approximately 10 percent of men and 17 percent of women will experience dementia. Affecting behavior and mood, the broad neurological condition also consists of confusion, memory loss, and challenges with language and problem-solving. Programming for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia takes a variety of forms, including art and visiting museums.

Since 2006, the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in New York City has offered “Meet Me at MoMA.” The program makes art accessible for those with dementia and their family members and caregivers. Held regularly throughout the year, the interactive program is led by museum educators and highlights various galleries, from current exhibitions to the permanent collection.

As detailed in MoMA Alzheimer’s Project literature, engaging with art significantly benefits those with dementia and their caregivers. It provides intuitive and intellectual stimulation and allows for exchanging ideas about art and those who create it. Art's universality allows individuals to interpret it as they see it. The experience of viewing and discussing in a safe, supportive environment often triggers discussion of personal experiences among participants and unlocks suppressed memories and stories.

An Americans for the Arts report describes the unique MoMA program as one that came about at a time when few programs dedicated specifically to bringing those with Alzheimer’s disease into the broader community and encouraging them to participate in fun educational activities existed.

The Meet Me at MoMA events follow a standard pattern. Participants gather in the lobby before the mid-afternoon start time, “exchanging greetings, hugs, and stories.” This instills a sense of civic pride and becoming part of the group, encouraging therapeutically beneficial socialization. At 2:30 pm, the educator starts the event with a preamble that singles out the four to five artworks that participants will focus on. For example, in an early January event, the educator selected “New Beginnings” as the theme.

Next, the group moves to the appropriate gallery and views the first painting on their list. The educator asks questions to elicit answers, such as “What do you all see in this painting? What do you notice first?” The questions encourage participants to describe pointillism techniques and how the dots blend fractious elements of color and light into a cohesive whole. Afterward, the educator contextualizes the artwork in the broader story of Impressionism of the era and Seurat’s personal story.

Participants state that one of the hallmarks of Meet Me at MoMA is its inclusivity and welcomeness. Even when fielding queries on the phone, staff have a caring, participant-first attitude that sets the stage for receptivity during the event. MoMA staff print tags with first names, which allows for a back-and-forth familiarity between participants who have never met each other. With social barriers eased, participants walk from gallery to gallery at a comfortable pace. One participant said, “I find myself grinning with a strange feeling of joy. I love the Museum environment. Being there without the crowds is a gift.”

Another participant notes that much of the event's enjoyment comes from educators' enthusiasm: “Watching him and talking to him afterward about how much he got from it — and he was so excited about it — that just meant so much.” Finally, one participant noted that one of the hallmarks of Alzheimer’s is not knowing if one’s memory is correct. The program provides her confidence that she has retained a full appreciation of art and can zero in on important stylistic elements of the pieces presented, “verbalizing that perception.”

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Star Trek: Voyager Season 4 (3 of 7)

Episode 9: Year of Hell (Part 2)

Plot (as written by me):

Following the events of part 1, Voyager has taken refuge in a nebula to elude the Krenim and effect repairs, but the nebula is proving to be as much of a hinderance as a help.  Janeway begins taking ever-riskier courses of action, including over-exposure to an area of the ship flooded with nebula gas and getting herself burned to access deflector control.  At one point, the Doctor attempts to relieve her of command, but with no functional force-fields or security personnel, there is no means by which Janeway can be forced to step down.

 Meanwhile on board the time-ship, Chakotay and Paris finally begin to interact with their hosts.  Annorax, the ship’s creator and commander, reveals his involvement in altering the time stream and asks for the help of his “guests”, claiming that he could get Voyager home and restore the Krenim Imperium all in one stroke. Paris is reluctant, but Chakotay remains open-minded, asking if they could do it without harming any sentient beings.

 However, it soon becomes apparent that Annorax is not the enlightened man he likes to think he is.  He makes an incursion that only restores the Krenim Imperium by 52% while wiping out an entire species.  He also reveals that while his first use of the weapon allowed the Krenim to prosper, the second wiped out his whole family, and every incursion since has failed to correct this.  Annorax believes that time itself has punished him, and he will not rest until he has forced time to return what he has lost.

 Paris, meanwhile, learns that Annorax’s crew want their mission to end and make do with whatever iteration of their Imperium that now exists.  Chakotay, finally realising Annorax can’t be reasoned with, endorses a plan that involves a mutiny against Annorax from within while Voyager attacks from outside.  In the interim, Janeway has formed a coalition fleet equipped with temporal shielding.  Receiving the message from Paris, Janeway orders an attack on the time-ship, scattering the senior staff across the allied vessels while staying behind to pilot Voyager alone.

 When the attack begins, Paris and Obrist, Annorax’s first officer, take the time-ship’s temporal core off-line.  As a result, Annorax is forced to deal with the coalition fleet using conventional weapons, while Obrist beams Chakotay and Paris to one of the attacking ships.  Most of the fleet is soon incapacitated, but victory goes to Voyager when Janeway uses her vessel to ram the time-ship.  Before she does this, Janeway orders the fleet to disable their temporal shields, theorising that destroying the time-ship will reset history to its normal course.

 Janeway’s gamble pays off, as everything re-sets to the timeline that would exist without Annorax’s manipulations.  As a result, Voyager is restored in form and crew, and simply changes course when warned by the Krenim that their space is currently in dispute.  Meanwhile, Annorax is back on his home colony, and abandons calculations for the time-ship concept to spend the day with his wife.

Review:

As I noted when I reviewed part 1, the ‘Year of Hell’ two-parter’s main overall problem was a lack of recognition from our characters when they started encountering the Krenim.  This betrays a lack of consideration for the show’s continuity, which is not unsurprising considering that producer Rick Berman was going against the writers trying to do this story as an entire season of serialised story-telling.  The problem is Voyager, by its very nature, was serialised; it’s about a group of people on a journey home, so every story should be in order along the physical path of that journey.  You’re not rotating characters out regularly like the Enterprise or Deep Space Nine could, you’re not nipping back-and-forth across the Federation’s back yard all the time. It’s one linear progression from start to finish, and what happens on the ship will follow the characters along that progression.

 As such, from Kes’ experiences in ‘Before and After’, and the subsequent report she wrote, part 1 should have shown some initial recognition of the Krenim, and part 2 should have done likewise when the timeline was restored to default.  However, part 2 has its own problem, namely that its ending makes the entire two-parter a waste of time.  Because no one remembers anything that happened, there is no impact, no substance to the episode.  The ending is also very formulaic and rushed, and begs an obvious question; if destroying the time-ship would have achieved the restoration of the time-line, why didn’t Annorax just hit self-destruct and abandon ship the moment he cocked up and lost his wife?  It’s such a simple and obvious solution for resetting everything, it seems absurd that it never occurred to Annorax to try it.  Paris was right; the bloke was just nuts.

 All that said, the episode is well-performed and hits the customary action quota for Voyager over its two parts, but it remains an absurd and hollow farce by taking two parts to do nothing that sticks for the long-term.  For me, this episode only warrants 6 out of 10.

Episode 10: Random Thoughts

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Voyager is orbiting the Mari homeworld, a race of telepaths. As the ship's crew trade for supplies, they find it difficult to haggle and bargain with mind readers. While all of this is happening, Voyager's Vulcan Security Chief, Lt. Commander Tuvok, and the city's Chief Examiner, Nimira, talk about security and maintaining order. Nimira states that her job is slowly becoming obsolete with their methods of crime prevention. There has been no violence in their society for years, and she is one of the last security officers among the Mari. Sharing a curiosity regarding crime and punishment in their own society, Tuvok offers to transport her aboard Voyager to demonstrate their ways of security enforcement. While Captain Janeway and her half-Klingon Chief Engineer B'Elanna Torres are negotiating for a resonator coil, someone bumps into Torres, momentarily irritating her. She manages to calm herself, shrugging it off as an accident. Moments later they run over to find the man who bumped into Torres beating another man bloody. The beaten man is severely injured as Janeway stops the aggressor. The aggressor seems surprised at himself and says he does not know why he did that.

 While aboard Voyager, Nimira is puzzled about the ship's brig and the concept of incarceration as a form of punishment, only to be called back to the surface regarding the attack. After questioning the crew, Nimira determines that B'Elanna's angry thought earlier that day was transmitted telepathically to the aggressor, and thus she is the more guilty of the two. She is sentenced to undergo memory modification to remove the thought, as is the aggressor. Janeway protests, as the modification process carries the risk of neurological damage. Before Janeway can unearth enough evidence to try to get Torres out, another attack occurs with the same memory, indicating that it is still in circulation. Unfortunately, this attack ends with an old woman plunging a knife into the body of an attractive young woman whom Neelix had become attracted to. Tuvok goes undercover and finds an illicit memory trade in which the salesman of the resonator coil is a key figure. He determines that B'Elanna's memory was goaded from her in order to be resold, but it was too violent for the illicit Mari tradesmen to contain, and this caused the outbursts among the Mari. Torres is released due to this new evidence, just moments before her brain was to be probed. Nimira herself is shocked to find that all thoughts of violence have not disappeared from her people.

 Later at the end of the episode, Seven of Nine urges the Captain not to visit alien worlds to avoid such dangerous complications in the future. Janeway, however, turns down her suggestion and remarks that Voyager was built for the purpose of human exploration, and that the crew will continue to visit new worlds and take in new experiences because this is a part of the crew’s natural curiosity, as well as the ship's mission.

Review:

This episode is much better than the last instalment in that there’s a lot of issue exploration going on here, some of which I don’t think the writers intended.  The main sparks for the episode, according to the Trek wiki site Memory Alpha, were around the idea of broadcast violence, the notion that violent content on TV and in other media somehow incited violent behaviour.  The illegality of violent thoughts in the episode and how the guest aliens react to them is also a metaphor for recreational drugs, and comments on the ineffectuality of criminalising substances by showing what actually happens when that happens.  Treating drug use like a crime doesn’t prevent it; the practice is just forced to the fringes of society so it can carry on without any safety protocols in place, making the problem far deadlier than if drug use is treated like the medical problem that it is.

 Going beyond these surface issues, however, we also find that the episode can be considered as commenting on the idea of whether or not it’s right to police people’s thoughts.  This is an issue that is very relevant to society at the moment because of the concept of hate crime, and some people believe it’s wrong to start criminalising the thoughts behind crimes in case it leads to a criminalisation of any thoughts that disagree with the state.  While that is something to be wary of and carefully avoided, the reality is that classifying an offence is not about criminalising certain thoughts. It is about criminalising discrimination and bigotry in all forms.  It is about opposing oppression and hatred of people for being different to what some narrow-minded morons deem “normal”.  As long as the penalisation of hate crime remains within those borders and no one over-steps those common-sense bounds, thought remains free of criminalisation.

 Now it’s interesting that in the episode, the Mari police officer emphasises how in her society, people are responsible for their own thoughts, because it seems like the Mari are being a bit too open with their thoughts at times.  One of the key concepts of telepathy I’ve picked up from X-Men comics is that telepaths generally need to develop strong mental barriers to prevent the thoughts of others coming in unsolicited.  In effect, the greatest issue with telepathy isn’t the telepaths playing peeping tom with the minds of others.  Rather, it's that telepaths can go mad without the mental equivalent of noise-cancelling headphones.

 To my mind, it therefore seems strange that the Mari, and indeed telepaths of all kinds in Trek, have never played to these rules.  While the episode deals with violence committed among telepaths due to a deliberately extracted thought, the premise of B’Elanna being accused of a crime is based on the idea of accidental mental transfer.  If the Mari had really taken the responsibility for their own telepathic abilities and thoughts as claimed, accidental transfer would be impossible except with younger Mari and any with conditions that inhibited typical development of telepathic control.  Frankly, seeing this episode, I’m thinking the Mari could stand a cross-franchise visit from Professor X.

 As for Seven’s insert at the end, not impressed. This seemed like a desperate effort to shoe-horn in the new character just to show her off, and in the process just made her look a bit silly to anyone that’s a dyed-in-the-wool Trekkie. To the more objective or cynical fans, Seven makes a decent point in a overly blunt way that some exploration is better off avoided, but to some of the more die-hard fans, this critique of Trek’s main mission probably goes over like a lead balloon.  Overall, this episode is good but not great, and falls short at 8 out of 10.

Episode 11: Concerning Flight

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

An enemy uses a high-energy transporter beam to steal items of technological value from Voyager, including their computer core and the Doctor's mobile holo-emitter. Captain Janeway and the crew track the stolen goods to an alien world that is an active centre of commerce. As Tuvok and Janeway beam down to search, Tuvok locates an item with a Starfleet signature: a holographic Leonardo da Vinci, from Janeway's Florence holodeck program, who was downloaded into the emitter. His program is designed to only think in 16th century terms, so he is astounded at the technology. Leonardo speaks of his "patron", who provides him with everything he needs.

 Back on Voyager, Chakotay interrogates one of the traders and learns that a man named Tau sells weapons and technology that he steals from passing ships. As it turns out, Tau is Leonardo's patron. Janeway has the inventor bring her to one of Tau's parties, posing as a buyer, where Tau reveals that he has Voyager's computer core for sale. Armed with Leonardo's accurate topographic maps of the region, Tuvok and Seven of Nine locate the storage facility where the processor is kept, but a dispersion field around it makes transport impossible. Janeway will have to infiltrate the facility and initiate a power surge that will produce a signal strong enough for the transporter beam to lock on. Unfortunately, Tau overhears Janeway talking to the ship and trains a weapon on her. Leonardo knocks out Tau, then he and Janeway flee for the facility.

 Once they find the processor, Janeway successfully executes Tuvok's plan, but the arrival of an armed guard prevents the pair from beaming up with the computer. Leonardo is shot, but being a hologram, he is unhurt, though he cannot comprehend how. Janeway knocks out the guard, and eventually explains to Leonardo that the world is filled with things beyond comprehension, and it is a poor student that does not eventually surpass their master.

 Janeway and Leonardo deduce that more armed guards will be on the way. Instead of transporting back to the ship, they use a site-to-site transporter and beam themselves a good distance away into the countryside. They board a fixed-wing glider constructed by da Vinci and take off just as Tau's guards open fire. Finally, Voyager is able to get close enough to the planet to beam aboard the Captain and Leonardo.

Review:

This is an episode I think the show could maybe have done without.  As much as I enjoy seeing John-Rhys Davies as the holographic Leonardo Da Vinci, the episode doesn’t use him to do either of the things Trek episodes should do; to explore an issue or explore a character.  Da Vinci is Janeway’s childhood hero, yet nothing in this episode explores the why of this or how that informs Janeway’s character.  The closest we get to issue exploration is the odd line of dialogue.

 When Da Vinci asks “When are we not in prison? Hmm? When are our lives free from the influence of those who have more power than us?”, that is a valid point in our modern world, where a handful of world leaders and the few uber-wealthy hold sway over the bulk of humanity, yet that is not explored.  When he talks about how his own unfulfilled desire to fly caused him to be as unreliable and uncommitted as he was brilliant, it’s right at the episode’s end and nothing gets looked into.  While Memory Alpha says the original writer was unhappy because he got brow-beaten into doing a show too focused on the tech-and-adventure aspects, I think he’s right to feel that, but also that the episode should never have even been conceived. It would have been far better to do an episode or two taking the dialogue I’ve noted and building something around that.  At least then we’d have a Trek episode of substance worthy of John-Rhys Davies showing up.  You don’t waste an actor of that calibre on a phasers-and-technobabble episode.  For me, this episode is only worth 7 out of 10, and it's largely John-Rhys Davies’ performance that keeps the score that high.

Episode 12: Mortal Coil

Plot (as given by me):

While attending to his various duties as chef, morale officer and godfather to young Naomi Wildman, Neelix is assigned to an away team with Chakotay and Tom Paris.  Voyager is coming up on a nebula containing protomatter, and Chakotay wants Neelix on board the shuttle due to his expertise dealing with the substance.  The away mission goes ok until the shuttle’s transporters cause a reaction in the protomatter, causing an energy discharge that strikes and kills Neelix.

 When the away team returns to Voyager, too much time has passed, and everyone believes Neelix is dead for good. However, Seven reveals that by using nanoprobes, they can bring Neelix back.  While the Doctor is dubious, Captain Janeway determines that Neelix means too much to the crew not to take the chance.  The procedure is successful, though Neelix will require daily injections of nanoprobes unless and until his body begins to function on its own again. Neelix is ordered to take some time to recuperate, and outwardly appears to be mostly his usual self.  However, Neelix has deep-rooted spiritual beliefs that helped him deal with the loss of his family years ago.  Not experiencing his people’s version of an afterlife despite being dead for over 18 hours, Neelix begins to think there is nothing after death, and wonders what the point of living is.

 When Seven visits Neelix to perform a medical scan, Neelix becomes agitated with her before experiencing an attack of some kind. It turns out Neelix’s body began rejecting the nanoprobes, causing some of his cells to begin necrotising.  After the incident, Neelix asks Chakotay to guide him in a vision quest.  Chakotay agrees, but warns Neelix that vision quests are part of a process, not a quick fix, and he’s not guaranteed to find the answers he's seeking.  Neelix’s visions seem to reaffirm his doubts in his beliefs and that life is pointless without something to look forward to after it.

 Neelix takes these visions at face value and begins exhibiting behaviours that suggest he will somehow leave Voyager.  In fact, Neelix has become suicidal and attempts to beam himself into the nebula.  The bridge crew block the first attempt, and by the time Neelix is ready for a second try, Chakotay has reached the transporter room.  He manages to poke holes in Neelix’s interpretation of his visions and extols his importance to the crew.  Ultimately, it’s little Naomi Wildman needing Neelix to check for monsters in the replicator that finally pulls Neelix back from the brink.  In Naomi’s room, the little girl is sad because she was told Neelix was “sick”, and asked him if a monster got him. Neelix says that was kind of true, but he’s now chased the monster away.  In her dreams, Naomi visits the Great Forest, the Talaxian afterlife that Neelix told her about earlier to help her sleep.

Review:

As a rule, I don’t much care for Trek, or anything, dealing with spirituality.  As an agnostic (respect for all faiths, belief in none) and as a Trek fan, I tend to take the view that while faith can be a good thing to have, and that each one probably contains some elements of truth among all the mistaken guesses, ultimately it is not anything to be embraced to an excessive extent. In other words, have faith in your life, but don’t mistake belief for fact and don’t your faith your life, and what happens to Neelix in this episode is part of why I have this mindset.

 For Neelix, his beliefs have become the sole basis for how he has coped with being a survivor of a WMD attack on his people. He lost his whole family and carried one, sustained solely by the idea that he’d meet them all again in his version of an afterlife.  Once Neelix dies and then comes back with no experience of this afterlife, his entire sense of purpose and identity evaporates out from under him, and that experience ultimately drives him to attempting suicide.  Thankfully, despite Chakotay trying to suggest he can find a “stronger faith”, it’s actually the more grounded and secular fact that Neelix has a goddaughter who needs him that draws him back from the precipice.

 To me, this episode makes one very clear and basic point; we shouldn’t get so caught up in death and what lies beyond the life we have now.  When we do that, we risk putting ourselves in a vary precarious position where our beliefs, which are often very fragile things, can undermine our mental health the moment anything throws them into doubt.  If you need a purpose to life without depending on religion, here it is; to make the most of the life you’ve got while you’ve got it, in whatever way works for you without unduly impairing anyone else’s life.  You can work, play, spend time with friends and family, create and make the world a better place, all without having to believe in any gods or afterlives, and frankly that should be purpose enough.

 The episode also allows us to explore Neelix a bit as a character by delving into his spiritual side, which is actually a refreshing change considering that up to now, Chakotay has been the heavy lifter on that side of Voyager episodes.  We also get our first episode featuring Naomi Wildman since she was born late in the show’s second season, featuring the second of four actresses who would play the role over Voyager’s run.  We also get additional issue exploration just in looking at how the Voyager crew deals with Neelix and how that relates to how society in general picks up on people being suicidal and tries to prevent it.  It’s a bit worrying that by the 24th century, we’re still letting people get as far as Neelix does before intervening.

 Throw in a funny little dig at the Kazon from Seven, and the episode is pretty much perfect Trek.  Yes, what Seven says about the Kazon does differ from Locutus’ little sales-pitch in TNG’s ‘Best of Both Worlds’, about how the Borg want to improve quality of life for all species.  However, that’s exactly what Locutus was giving back then; a sales-pitch.  He’s not being honest; he’s trying to sell Riker and the others on the idea of being assimilated.  Seven, being an ex-Borg with no assimilation agenda, gets to be much more brutally honest and take a good dig.  Plus, her difficulty socialising in the mess hall is another autism-like moment that helps make good use of her character beyond the deus ex machina of her nanoprobes being the means of Neelix’s resurrection.  For me, this episode easily racks up 10 out of 10, even though it is a spiritual episode of Trek.

[xjoonchildx]

Hey Ana! Um, this is going to be a long ask, and it may be kind of stupid and if you choose to ignore it that's totally fine too - it's just that I'm feeling very lost and I can't talk to any of my irls about this, and since your blog is a comfort place to me and you give me very comforting big sister vibes, i thought I'd come here for advice.

So I started my master's degree about three months ago, and i immediately made a big group of close-knit friends, including this one dude that I developed a massive crush on. Crushboy and I have since become very close friends, we sit together in class almost all the time, I save him a seat on the bus, we remind each other to have meals on time, we've worked in multiple group projects together, we've fussed and scolded each other when we both fell sick one after the other, you get the idea.

None of this helped my crush on him, and I still like him a lot. All of my other friends (they haven't met him) who I've told about him think I'm being an idiot and i should ask him out.

Here's the problem: he's hot, and he knows it. He's worked hard on his body, and understandably, he's been very vocal about wanting to be with a girl who's as into fitness as he is. I am... literally the opposite lol. I've been a fat girl my whole life, tried multiple times to get fit but it's never quite worked out. The only thing in common his fantasy girl and I have is curly hair. I had just about made peace with the fact that I'll never be the model type, and just about started feeling comfortable in my body, but because of this my anxiety about my figure has jumped back up again.

I'm never going to tell him I like him because I know that'll break our friendship, so that's out of the question. I guess what I'm asking advice about is whether or not I should continue being as close to him. I value our friendship too much, but I know it'll hurt watching him dating around, and I'm scared of seeing him fall in love with someone else.

At the same time I'm anxious that I'm irritating and annoying him by trying to be so close to him, and that one day he'll just yell at me and break our friendship anyway. He's already pointed out the fact that I constantly touch and pick on his hands, so I've stopped doing that (I'm very conscious about physical touch, and I'm only touchy with people i feel comfortable with, so this was a huge deal for me).

Idk, I'm just exhausted :/ - crushed anon

crushed anon!

as an only child, please allow me to luxuriate in your compliment about big sister vibes 💕💕💕

okay, so first -- i want to congratulate you on the work you've done in your master's program. that's a major accomplishment and i hope you're patting yourself on the back as much as i am.

it sounds like you have a really great interaction/relationship with crushboy. leaving the romantic aspect out of it, it's great to have a supportive friend who you can lean on through what i'm sure is a stressful time.

i don't know enough about your situation to be able to know if there is more than friendship between you and crushboy, but it certainly makes sense that you would feel that way about him given what you've told me here.

the number one thing i want you to accept -- no matter what happens with crushboy in the future -- is that being plus-sized or curvy or whatever term you want to use absolutely does not stop you from being attractive. i see attractive people of all shapes and sizes on IG getting love from people all over the world. they carry themselves with confidence and rock the bodies they have and you know what? other people see it and love it.

this idea of a fantasy girl/guy is just that -- a fantasy. it doesn't necessarily translate into real life wishes and wants. i come on here and regularly simp for a man who's 5'10, 110 pounds soaking wet but my IRL guy is 6'4, 225 pounds and i assure you i am very attracted to him 🤣 don't be discouraged by this idea of a dream woman or man, because what we love/appreciate in celebrity culture isn't necessarily what we want in our own personal lives.

i think it's very likely crushboy is attracted to you. there are probably a lot of things about you he appreciates, beyond your friendship. and while i can't know if he's attracted to you in a romantic way, i want you to accept that he absolutely could be -- despite his fitness level and yours.

there are so many pieces that make up the whole and they all play a part in how we feel about the people in our lives.

i'm glad that you said that you're becoming comfortable with your body and i think your confidence (and obvious smarts!) are only going to grow.

we (speaking to myself here, too) are often our own worst critics and i promise you, the version of us other people see is probably much kinder than the one we see in ourselves 💕💕💕

[demonsandmischief]

Sleepy

Ghost Adventures - Zak Bagans Imagine

Zak Bagans x Female Reader, 1200 words

-Sleepy-

Imagine Zak is very grouchy when traveling and filming. He learns that you are his best remedy.

----

You had just arrived at the filming location which was a pretty isolated mining town. You worked for Travel Channel doing photography, and some setting up and taking down, but you never got up close and personal with the Ghost Adventures crew - Billy, Aaron, Jay nor Zak. You got along great when working, but that was as far as the interaction went.

Because the ghost town was in the middle of nowhere, staff was limited for the episode. Those that you worked with regularly would only be around for today before flying home tonight. You, however, were needed the whole time. This meant you would be staying in an RV with the crew. Three days and two nights.

You were extremely apprehensive about the whole thing. The mobile home was huge and luxurious, easily sleeping up to 8 people and there were only 5 including you, but you didn't really know any of them that well. They were like that group in high school who only hung out with each other, and you were the outsider.

"It's a slumber party," Aaron grinned, taking the bags that you were clutching nervously in your hands as you took in the beast of an RV.

You followed him up the steps. Billy was sitting at the dinette, working on his laptop. He greeted you kindly.

Jay had followed you in with multiple bags of his own, and you quickly moved out of his way so he could dump them onto the plush couch.

"All of those are cameras for set-up later," Jay said, seeing your perplexed look.

"Has anyone seen Zak?" asked Aaron. "The first person we're interviewing should be here within an hour."

"Y/N," Billy started, catching your attention. "Zak sleeps in the room with the queen sized bed. The rest of us will crash in the other room which has four bunks. I'm assuming you won't want to be in there. The couch folds out into a bed."

You laughed softly, imagining the tall men sleeping in beds meant for children. "I'm good with that, thanks. Who exactly will be sleeping on that top bunk?"

The three guys exchanged looks before Jay spoke, "Bill is the shortest."

"There's no way I am, dude," Aaron chuckled.

"I'm shortest by like an inch," Billy argued, shutting his laptop.

"That inch matters," Aaron retorted.

"Y/N can pick then," Jay said, and they a turned expectantly towards you.

"No way," you shook your head. You didn't want to get in the middle of it. "Draw names or something."

"If Zak chose, he definitely would pick Aaron," Billy said teasingly.

"Whatever," Aaron rolled his eyes.

Speaking of the devil, Zak climbed into the RV right into where you and the guys were talking. You've always had a small crush on him. Zak was very good looking and very intelligent, but you had never really had a conversation with him. Today, he had a deep frown on his face, his eyes also dark. He was disturbed by something.

"Come on. There's lots of things to get done. We don't have all day, guys," Zak said, before leaving. They could all feel the tension.

Billy blew out some air before standing up with his laptop and leaving. Aaron and Jay followed.

You dug through your bag to pull out your favorite camera along with the right lens. Your job was to take promotional pictures for the website, social media and whatever else. It had to be one of the best jobs you have ever had.

You were startled when Zak came back in the RV.

"Hello," he greeted, not even looking at you. He had a small bag, carrying it with him into the bedroom.

You fiddled with your camera, checking the settings and battery. You decided it would be a good idea to start walking around and taking some pictures. The place was huge.

You stood up, nearly knocking into Zak who had left the room so quietly you didn't even notice.

"Watch it," he said, clearly irritated. You didn't know if it was because of your presence or what you noticed earlier, but it still bothered you.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, but he was gone once more. You frowned, a million thoughts running through your head.

You kept to yourself the rest of day, until night came and everyone headed in early. Tomorrow was set-up and it started as soon as the sun was up for you, Billy and Jay. You were lucky you didn't have to stay up all night like they did.

----

You were startled from your sleep by someone making a lot of noise in the fridge right by the couch.

You sat up with squinty eyes, trying to clear and focus them.

"Shit, sorry Y/N. I was just getting some water," Zak whispered. He was in sweatpants and a t-shirt, the black was illuminated by the light of the fridge. His hair was ruffled, and he had deep bags under his eyes.

"It's fine," you mumbled. It looked like he hadn't slept at all, yet he was dragging on his feet. "Are you alright, Zak?"

"I'm fine," he said dismissively, shutting the refrigerator harshly.

"You're going to wake up the whole RV," you said, becoming more awake by the minute.

Zak released a breath, cursing something under this breath. He was agitated by something.

"I can listen, Zak. I promise I won't say anything," you patted the bed beside you.

He hesitated, before sitting with his back against the wall. It was silent between the two of you.

"I might fall asleep if you don't start talking," you yawned, leaning your head on his shoulder. Your eyes were becoming heavy.

"I've been irritated since that last investigation a few weeks ago. I can't shake it," he whispered. His low voice vibrated your whole body and it was quite soothing.

"Have you slept?" you murmured.

You could feel him shake his head no, and you sighed. "Zak, you're going to get sick. It's been weeks."

"I can't sleep undisturbed anyway."

"You should try. Just close your eyes," you were struggling to stay awake. Zak had started running his fingers through your hair, and combined with his voice, you were comforted like nothing else.

Zak smiled down at you, but you couldn't see. He was beginning to like you. He had noticed you before, but had never taken the chance to get to know you. That clearly was a mistake. His head was surprisingly quiet in this moment, and he felt like he could truly fall asleep if he wanted to.

----

The more he thought of it, the more it threatened to take over. He could feel your soft breathing even out. You had fallen asleep, and he wasn't too far behind. He rested his head on yours and sleep found him.

Here's Part 2

A/N: I love this one. So soft and simple 🥺. I think it deserves a part 2. What do you think?

[bayleavesfromthevine]

Some thoughts about the different teaching styles in JJK

Well. There’s only two that we really know so far: Gojo’s and Utahime’s. And I think the differences in their teaching styles are really interesting. 

Gojo is a very hands-off teacher for the most part. Yeah, he taught Yuuji from the ground-up, but only because he had no other choice - and even then he didn’t do the best job (more on that later). Megumi had to specifically ask to train with him, the implications being that Gojo does not regularly train with his students. Lastly, as far as I remember, Gojo has never even spoken directly to Nobara (outside of when they first met and he called her over to their group). Please correct me if I’m wrong, but he’s only spoken to her when he was referring to the trio as a whole, which is an issue I won’t get into here. Needless to say, he’s not much of a present mentor in his students’ lives.  For all I know, Gojo might be lazy when it comes to his job - I don’t get the sense that he’s all that enthusiastic about the instructional aspect of teaching as much as he likes the final result. Basically, as he’s stated before, he wants strong allies. He wants a jujutsu society in which he is not the only pillar holding it together. He also wants his students to be strong enough to help him change jujutsu sorcery from the bottom-up. Ergo, him entrusting his students to trainings and missions without his guidance seems to be a “tough love” type of approach: they’ll grow when they reach their breaking points, but that will only occur when he’s not around. As such, Yuuji, Nobara, and Megumi are strong on their own. Like Gojo himself.   (Also, he’s only the instructor of the first-years, soooo? Who are the second- and third-year instructors? Ah, whatever. That’s not the point of this post smh.)

Utahime, on the other hand, is very different. She actually trains with her students. She teaches them, guides them, and clearly has a personal relationship with each of them, which I picked up on in just the brief interactions we saw in the exchange event. (When Mai and Miwa were talking about Maki during their break in Miwa’s flashback?? And then they... went back to their training session with their instructor??? .... Guys... Gojo could NEVER.) As a result, the Kyoto students are far superior at working as a team (well, sans Todo lol, but he’s a special case) and they have a better understanding of each others’ techniques, which, of course, we also saw in the exchange event. (Yes, yes. I know Yuuji and Nobara are a powerful duo, but that is an anomaly and seems to have formed from their chemistry and talents, not Gojo’s influence.) There’s also a stronger sense of “family” amongst the Kyoto students that must have been due to Utahime’s influence. (Not to say that the Tokyo students don’t have a similar vibe to them, but it’s just not as prominent imo.)  I can’t help but notice that Utahime focuses on her students supporting each other and working together presumably because of her own experiences. This is only a theory, but, while we don’t know her cursed technique yet, it seems likely that she requires time and support from others in order to use her abilities in battle. It would make sense for her to instruct and nurture her students to be able to support and function with a variety of techniques as a unit - including those that aren’t as convenient to use (Mai’s ability comes to mind here).   I think it’s fair to say that Utahime wants roughly the same thing as Gojo: to build up strong sorcerers that will one day take charge of their society and build a better future. However, the big difference between the two, in my opinions, is that Utahime seems to acknowledge the distinction between herself and her students - she knows she is a mentor whose job is to nurture them into full-fledged sorcerers. There will always be that teacher/student or adult/child aspect of her relationships with them, even, presumably, after they graduate and become legitimate, adult allies. She’s a normal teacher like that (I assume).  Obviously, I think Gojo knows that his relationship with his students is the same deal. However, I can’t help but feel like his actions and words bely that fact. He said he wants allies, and he treats his students as such. I think you can see this the most in his relationship with Megumi. As many people have acutely pointed out, Gojo is all about treating children and teenagers with respect for their agency and allows them to make their own choices. This is a beautiful thing and I love that about his character, but it does add an interesting layer to his teaching style. Mainly: he views his students as equals from the get-go, despite the fact that they are relying on him to guide them. Now, I’m not saying that he shouldn’t treat them as equals - he should because they are, especially when they’re putting their lives on the line and are more likely to die than he is in any given situation - but the student/teacher relationship is an important one for those on the student end of things. When Gojo doesn’t uphold his end of the bargain, certain things are lost and left up to the students to figure out for themselves. (Prime example: Yuuji’s divergent fist. Gojo knew it wouldn’t work long term, or against special grades, yet still said nothing, forcing Yuuji to learn the hard way. Had Nanami and Todo not been there to say something / do Gojo’s damn job for him, Yuuji’s growth might have been stunted or, worst case, he would have been killed.)  (Utahime never would have let it get to that point, but we’re not here to slander Gojo lol) So anyway, my point is: Gojo wants his students to be strong enough to not have to rely on others, believing that jujutsu sorcery is an individual’s game.  Utahime also wants her students to be strong, but she also acknowledges the value in relying on others so that no one person (or small group of people) is responsible for holding up the entire jujutsu world.  And I just think that’s neat.  

[pointnumbersixteen]

How do you see The Captain's coming out, and growth in confidence and self acceptance thereafter taking place?

I like this question! …and I’m probably going to elaborate on it a bit more than many people will want to read (I noticed back when I was regularly writing essay length posts that they did not get a lot of love) and it’s probably going to get even more ramble-y than usual (brain has not been braining as cooperatively as it should recently and the decision to drink half a bottle of wine right before answering this- sorry- probably does not help), but here we are.  

 About coming out scenarios, none of mine are particularly elaborate. While I do think he needs to come out for his story line to progress, I can’t imagine him making a big thing out of it (long or elaborate announcements, heart-to-hearts, emotional displays of bearing his authentic self or any of the like), either with the group, or person-by-person, for several reasons:

First off, that sort of a coming-out to-do is a more modern notion, and I doubt he was a particularly modern person even when he was alive, seventy-five years ago. His notions of privacy and propriety are probably much more conservative than ours, and I feel like that makes it unlikely that he’d go into any sort of detail, at least at early in this process, about his feelings/emotions or the specificities of his attractions. We’re talking about a man who doesn’t even use his own name. It’s difficult to picture him going into depth about his desires and love life.

Secondly, he’s a bit of a social coward. (He’s not a physical coward, of course, he jumped on that bomb in the garden without hesitation, and acknowledged after the fact that he gotten caught up in the moment, and therefore hadn’t really thought about how a bomb couldn’t hurt him.) And I get it, I’m a bit of a social coward, too, so no judgement. He probably faced a lot of ridicule in his life. Being a social coward is totally fair. But he doesn’t put himself into situations that might involve awkward interpersonal interactions if he can help it, and legs it whenever interactions he’s already in become to awkward for him. I feel like he’s probably quite desperate (although he’d never admit to it) to save face and protect what bits of his ego remain unscathed.

Think about it: he could have spoken to Fanny on his own about her nightly screaming disturbing him in s1e1, they have a clear association established at the outset of the show, they leave Heather’s room together at the end of the very first scene, but he doesn’t do so until he has the weight of the whole group to back him up about the screaming at their meeting. He had to buck up his courage and give himself his little ‘over the top we go’ pep talk before going to speak to Alison in Gorilla War. Also, if there was actually something wrong with his soldiers’ horseplay after hours in Reddy Weddy- if it was breaking regulations or even his own orders for quiet hours- and he heard it, he could have gone down directly when he heard it, confronted whoever was involved and order them to stop or put them on report. But no, instead he addressed the entire group of soldiers in a sixteen point morning brief. He even dispatched Pat to confront Alison about the party in s2e2, instead doing it himself… and spit out his apology/reconciliation with Pat at the end as fast as possible. And as for legging it when things get awkward, see his retreats following the group confronting him in Getting Out and after Alison telling him he wasn’t needed in the Grey Lady- and on a more figurative than literal level, but most relevantly, his quick turn from ‘I’ll miss you’ to ‘we’ll miss you’ with Havers in Reddy Weddy.

This is not a man who wants to be in awkward or embarrassing situations. And I think that coming out, at least at first, will probably be a bit embarrassing for him- it was scandalous in his time, and I think it will take him longer to get over that feeling and come to terms with himself than it will to finally acknowledge that he’s gay. So I doubt he’d make more of it than he utterly feels he has to, at least at first. And of course, he’d have to be a bit afraid that people would judge him or stop associating with him over it, as sadly, in his own time many people would have done, and most of the ghosts are from even earlier times than he was. So that might add more hesitation…

And thirdly, he doesn’t like and/or respect many of his house mates. The other twentieth century ghosts are the only ones he spends much time with. I doubt he’d go out of his way to communicate much of anything to the rest if it wasn’t “mission related” much less discuss his sexuality with them. He mostly disregards Humphrey. See his, “Oh, it’s you.” Mary obviously doesn’t like him and he only associates with her when it might be useful for his ‘missions.’ He clearly doesn’t think much of Thomas and doesn’t really even bother including him in his plans. These aren’t people he’s going to have heart-to-hearts with.

With those constraints in place, here’s a non-exhaustive list of possibilities by which I might see his coming out finally happening. They’re really just scenarios I made for myself on how I might see him coming out and I like to keep my options open (the first three are strategies he might go for, the last is an alternate scenario, presented in decreasing levels of directness on his part):

1) The ‘pull the bandage off quickly and hope it doesn’t sting too much’ strategy.

The Captain waits for the end of one of their various group activities or meetings, where all announcements seem to be made, gets up, clears his throat, stammers a bit, announces it tersely, using the most proper popular word for homosexuality that existed in his time (think: “Heh-hem. Er. Um. Well. It has recently come to my attention that I am- er- well- as it happens- gay. I, uh, thought it should be noted. That is all.”), and then beats a hasty retreat, so he doesn’t have to try to cope with the potentially negative aftermath. Of course, there isn’t a negative aftermath, because many of the ghosts already have guessed and the rest don’t really care. Someone, probably Pat, because he does the bulk of the emotional labor in the group, and more importantly, he’s Cap’s closest friend, would have to go after him. He would of course be initially defensive, and Pat would have to sooth his feathers a bit- or maybe just spit it out over his defensiveness- that he guessed a long time ago and so had plenty of other people, and they were just waiting for him to be ready, and really, it’s fine, and no one’s going to disown him for it.  

2) The ‘well maybe I should tell my friends with the hope they support me’ strategy.

He gets together with a small group, the people whose company he actually values, definitely Fanny and Pat, maybe Julian, probably Alison either at the same time or after he finishes with his ghosts pals, and says it in much the same way as the previous scenario, but waiting for their reactions rather than retreating straight away. Pat and Alison, I expect, would answer with something like ‘yeah, we figured that one out a long time ago, actually, and it’s completely fine’ and Julian’s reaction would probably be something like, ‘well, obviously.’ Fanny’s had a lot of character growth since season one, when I expect her reaction would have been very shrill and judgmental, probably still would be a touch less warm and/or nonchalant, but I picture it as something like a sigh, followed by a pat on the arm and something like, ‘well, I still like you better than everyone else here, anyway.’ Word would eventually trickle to everyone else by way of social osmosis. Or not. No one seems to care if Humphrey or the plague ghosts are well informed.  

3) The ‘I’m not brave enough to actually go through the process of actually telling anyone anything about me so let’s just drop hints and hope everyone figures it out without making a big deal about it’ strategy.  

The indirect approach (I’m rather fond of this one, but mostly because it was my own primary coming out approach)… he first sends out feelers to certain people on the topic of homosexuality, probably Alison, since she’s modern, hosted a lesbian wedding, and very much implied that she’d be ready to keep scandalous secrets for him in Reddy Weddy, and  possibly maybe also Julian, as he’s the most sexually experienced/knowledgeable, and after Alison spent a while inundating him with ‘it’s okay to be gay’ messages (along with a sudden and entirely unexplained influx of LGBT media) as she’s socially clever enough to see that’s what he’s looking for and after Julian spent a while telling him probably far more than he ever actually wanted to know about the potentialities of gay sex, that might boost the Captain’s confidence enough to let him start dropping hints to people, instead of telling them outright (consciously commenting on the attractiveness of men they see rather than occasionally accidentally blurting it out- see ‘the handsome one’- occasionally putting forth an opinion or stance on the LGBT world ‘it would have been nice if gay marriage was acceptable when I was alive,’ maybe occasionally mentioning how certain men would make cute couple), expecting them to meet him in the middle and figure out the point on their own… of course, many of them have already realized, so this isn’t a problem. It’s entirely possible, though, that Mary (world view not terribly grounded in reality) and Kitty (lack of life experience and/or instruction about life, see the how are babies made subplot) never pick up the hints on their own and someone else eventually has to tell them.

4) The ‘someone puts him out of his misery’ scenario.

Cap acknowledges to himself that he’s gay first and then, wishing to avoid embarrassment or lack of acceptance, obviously, awkwardly, painfully tries to disguise it and in doing so draws attention to it, until a third party decides to put him out of his misery and tell him that many of them figured it out ages ago and that everyone is fine with it. Maybe Pat. Maybe Alison. I kind of like the idea of it being Fanny (with her lovely character growth and her couple of suspicious glances his way in the Perfect Day), actually, by way of something like ‘You know, I was entirely prepared to continue on living with my husband, George, keeping his secrets, about the, uh, sort of person he was, and you’re at least one better than him, given that you at least never murdered me- or, for that matter, never married some poor woman you had no interest in to shield yourself from scrutiny… and so, what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t turn my back on you for being the, uh, sort of person you are, either, and maybe things have progressed enough that you don’t actually have to keep secrets at all.’ Cap would take all of this in with a mixture of mortification and relief. I’m rather fond of this scenario, too.  

 As for the second bit of the question, once his sexuality is out there, though, and no one judges him or hates him for it- and some are quite supportive- I do see him becoming more self-accepting. If no one’s judging him, does he need to judge himself so harshly? And also more confident. Because some of those things that he’s always felt different about and in the past has probably been ridiculed about in the past (even if he’s in denial about being gay, he and quite a few other people had to at the very least note that he’s not particularly interested in women), are, apparently just fine now. So he’s a bit more just fine now himself. And that weight of always trying to be someone else, someone who’s just right, can lift and he can relax a bit more. And that would probably help him a lot, too. I see it as a slow sort of thawing process. No matter what way he comes out, I still see Alison as very helpfully providing a variety of LGBT media to help this process along. And maybe he’d eventually get to the point where he processed enough and warmed up enough to be able to talk more in depth, at least with his friends, about what it was like being him in repressed pre-war Britain, and what sort of men he’s attracted to (I enjoy the idea of him and Fanny- gradually overcoming her own repression- scoping out hot men together). Maybe he’ll even luck out one of his male housemates will decide (or has already decided) that bisexuality is a valid option and he’ll get a date (insert whichever ghost y’all ship him with here). I bet Alison would totally help him set up a nice date, too, with her convenient still-functional-in-the-mortal-realm hands. And it would be nice to maybe see him get a taste of actual happiness.    

[simonalkenmayeris-still-dead]

So. I've been wanting to say this for a while, but I always hesitated because I didn't take screenshots of the incident and there's no way to retrieve the archive (which I've regretted constantly). So I understand if people are skeptical. There used to be regular movie nights hosted on the website rabb.it, before it closed down and got rebranded as Kast. It had Simon and his fans interact regularly. This incident happened sometime mid-2017.

One time, there was a screening of D'jango Unchained, and one of the viewers was black. They mentioned the movie was reminding them of when white people called them racist slurs in college. The other viewers gave their sympathies. The black viewer said something to the effect of, "Like I'd ever care about the opinion of a white person."

Simon took GREAT offence to that statement. He asked them things like, "Why would you single out an entire group like that?" and, "But you have so many white friends here, are you saying you don't care what your friends think? That would surely make them very upset." The Black viewer made it clear Simon was making them uncomfortable. Said that they could budge on many other topics, but not racism. Simon said that he'd "seen what happens when one vilifies a whole group in his many years of living", or something like that. Black viewer responded that this whole conversation was making them pretty certain Simon was a white human.

Another viewer said that Simon was the only one who seemed to be offended. Because, other viewers (including the white ones) in fact supported the black viewer when they said they didn't care what white people thought. Simon said, "So I'm only here for your enjoyment, then?" and left the chat. Black viewer left too.

Kris' account entered the chat soon after, asking what happened. No one wanted to talk about it, so Kris supposedly "asked Simon directly." Can't remember if he rejoined the chat that night, but he announced one way or the other he would never come back for movie nights.

I don't recall Simon ever saying outright he wasn't white in this whole situation, just saying he knew better than a black american about racism, to their face, because he was supposedly a monster. Still pretty damning.

You're completely right to be hesitant, because we all know that without proof, his biggest fans will be like "pics or it didn't happen".

Which is really all that needs to be said about that.

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

more of tauriel’s hellfamily adventures! there’s still a couple of gaps in my conception of this au, which is why these are bullet points and not an actual fic, but i think i’ve got enough to progress the plot, such as it is. certainly got a bunch of anecdotes i think are funny

i’m not even going to bother explaining how tauriel ended up in one of the fëanorians’ boltholes being treated for mild injuries

nothing super serious, but enough that she’s out of action for the rest of the night. the palace is on fire

the bolthole opens, and celegorm (who’s doing first aid) turns his head. his preemptive scowl melts away instantly. ‘hi elrond!’

the former lord of imladris just sighs. ‘please tell me you idiots haven’t abducted tauriel’

legolas has concerns, apparently. he saw celegorm vanish into an alleyway with her slung over his shoulder and immediately started panicking

‘i've talked him into delaying his rescue mission until i had the chance to check that she was safe’ elrond finishes, sounding absolutely exhausted

tauriel confirms that she is doing fine, as much as she can through the concussion. celegorm’s like ‘if he’s so worried about her why doesn’t he just come up here’

elrond disappears, and a few minutes later legolas scrambles inside

he’s glaring at celegorm. celegorm tells him where the first aid kit is, punches him on the arm, compliments his tracking skills in a vaguely threatening manner, and jumps back out to assist with the chaos

legolas collapses by tauriel’s bedside, still clutching his bow. tauriel pats him on the thigh reassuringly

neither of them are surprised elrond knows the fëanorians - they stayed in his place in tol eressëa for a while, dude knows literally everyone - but they don’t really know why

closer to dawn, elrond’s voice drifts up into the hideout. he’s going on this long irritated rant that climaxes in an extremely exasperated ‘valardamnit dad!’

maglor cackles. tauriel’s like ‘huh didn’t know that.’ legolas makes a face like he accidentally swallowed a spider

by this point, tauriel’s known the brothers hellspawn for long enough legolas has been unnervingly close to a kinslayer way more times than he’d like

this is the longest he’s spent in proximity to them by far, but it’s not the only time he’s interacted with them. they seem to like tauriel, and he knows she can take care of herself

but like still

it keeps happening, though. as tauriel further ingratiates herself with these awful awful elves, her two separate social circles keep bleeding into each other

take the time legolas and co visited the aulendili

before they left middle-earth, gimli whipped round every dwarf they knew and assembled several volumes of complaints. they refuse to confirm or deny whether aulë is the maker, but they are determined someone’s gonna hear their grievances

and thus a small wagon train of wood elves head up into the mountains. including tauriel

tauriel offhandedly mentioned the upcoming trip to the twins, and amras was like ‘hey we’ve got family up there!’ a few messages went up and down the funicular, and now gimli and crew have a place to crash up there

they’re put up by some of the fëanorians’ less murderous (if equally loud) relatives. it’s a pretty interesting trip

half the town is redheads. several people still mistake tauriel for a fëanorian. it’s been happening a lot in the wider noldorin territory lately, it’s weird

caranthir stumbles up into town about halfway through their visit. he gets into an extremely long philosophical argument with gimli that somehow ends with a mutual dwarven nod of respect

he also ends up fighting back-to-back with tauriel in one of those debatebrawls so common among the noldor. neither of them is quite sure how it happens

that’s the way it goes, isn’t it. there’s no big official moment when tauriel becomes part of the family

she just grows closer to them over her time in valinor, as they do to her

she merges into their social world. she develops a rapport with maglor’s wife - a first age mountain sinda and a third age forest avar don’t have that much in common, but they are both looking at noldorin culture from the outside. they have so many injokes about ridiculous bling

(it goes the other way too. this childhood friend oc of hers i’m developing - pretty sweet guy, the token sane man in the legolas-tauriel-him trinity - gets along really well with celebrimbor)

this one time tauriel punches a guy out for calling elrond a traitor. it doesn’t matter that he’s like three times her age, he is babey

she gets chewed out by maedhros and tests out new devices for curufin and drops in on nerdanel for tea. even though she doesn’t permanently live in the definitely-not-fëanorian quarter, she has her own personal space in its innermost warren

she’s one of them long before anyone consciously realises it

what causes that realisation is, admittedly, partially the conspiracy theories. if you say something often enough, you’ll start to believe it, and while the tauriel origin stories circulating through the noldorin rumour mill vary a lot in the details they all agree she is a fëanorian

but that’s a gradual long-term thing. it’s one more thread that leads to the moment

because there has to be an inflection point, i think. the fëanorians have plenty of family friends within the ranks of their definitely-not-minions. some are even as close to them as tauriel’s become

something has to happen to show she’s something more. fortunately, as demonstrated by the darkening and the númenorian invasion, no matter how peaceful it seems, history never stops

shit goes down. the exact details i’ll admit i don’t know yet, but at some point some sort of massive crisis rocks all of valinor. it’s during that crisis that tauriel does stuff that makes it blindingly obvious she’s not just on her side, but one of them

what stuff? again, i don’t know yet. i have this mental image of her leading a strike team that’s half definitely-not-minions and half legolas’ people through a burning city to do... something badass, but that’s as specific as i can get atm

what i am certain about, is that throughout the unfolding of the crisis, tauriel is permanently on the fëanorians’ side, just like they’re on hers

it’s one thing to be someone’s friend in bright happy days. it’s another thing to stick by them when everything’s falling to pieces and the whole world is against them. it’s in the depths of this crisis that both parties have the chance to fully prove their worth to each other

that probably wouldn’t be enough on its own, but combined with the friendship and the conspiracy theories and just the general way she is, once the dust settles it’s blazingly clear that tauriel is a daughter of the house of fëanor

there’s a little debate about where exactly she fits on the family tree, but not much. our sample size is admittedly small, but third generation fëanorians tend to have the slightest modicum of common sense? elrond and celebrimbor both have a fair degree of self-awareness and at least a few brain cells

tauriel does not. tauriel is mad, bad, and dangerous to know, just smart enough to understand that her sheer chaoticness is something she can channel but not nearly close to regularly thinking through the consequences of her actions. she’s loud and violent and does whatever she wants whenever she wants without a single thought towards what people will think of her

and more than that, she doesn’t relate to the second generation fëanorians the way the third generation does. she’s their friend and partner-in-crime, not one of their precious perfect must-protect children. she gets jerked around and bullied and does all that stuff right back, and while she doesn’t have a solid place in the second generation’s internal hierarchy yet she would easily slot in

no, tauriel’s a second generation fëanorian, one of fëanor and nerdanel’s horrible children. the fact that fëanor is currently indisposed and unable to provide an opinion on the matter doesn’t seem to bother anyone

she gets inducted into the family in a massive group hug, and from then on out the brothers hellspawn are the siblings hellspawn

her new family doesn’t replace her old one, of course, she has a long talk with elrond wherein she hashes this out. she’s still a silvan of the greenwood

she’s just also the little sister of the most bloodthirsty elves in history

(that sound in the background is legolas screaming)

[lizardthelizard]

Top 5 Lost Kids scenes in OUAT because I saw your tags on that Neal post and now I need to know your thoughts about them ☕

tHANK YOU Serena for sending an ask that allows me to ramble about the Lost Kids 💕💖 because oh boy...I have so many thoughts and feelings about these four.

So firstly, for clarification to those that aren’t aware, the Lost Kids are Emma, Neal, August and Lily (although Lily regularly doesn’t get included/gets overlooked because she wasn’t introduced until s4 and the Lost Kids were most popular around s2 I guess?)

The REASON the four of them are in this group together is because they’re all characters that were born in the Enchanted Forest but were thrown into The Land Without Magic at a young age, pre-curse.

I get unbelievably emotional about the Lost Kids every so often, and the differences and parallels between the four characters are fascinating and I love exploring them.

Anyway, here are some scenes specifically involving the four of them that give me HEAPS to think about.

1. Emma and August in 6x11 (Tougher than the Rest)

(SINCE I was already rambling about this in some tags the other day, it seems like a good time to bring it up again. I'll try not to repeat myself too much but...)

For me, this scene is about the implications. It's about the fact that we have no idea what August's life is like right now, but we can assume that...it's probably not great. The way he talks with Emma here, combined with him directing her to someone that help her off the streets, implies to me that he's been there. He's already gone through all that and he knows how awful it was.

And this is him trying. We know that later on, he gives up a little bit. And that, the more he spirals into doing bad things (stealing, lying, drinking ect ect) the more ashamed he is to see his father...and therefore, the less he cares about the curse breaking at all. But 14 year old August? Maybe he cared a little more?

Anyway, this scene is super sweet and I can't thank the writers enough for this episode in general tbh.

2. Literally every interaction between August and Neal.

I’m sorry but I really don’t know why the show didn’t let these two interact more. They were SO unintentionally funny together, in like, every single scene. (Ignoring for a moment the whole 'sending a 17 year old Emma to jail sounds like a good idea and not traumatic at all' thing) I genuinely really enjoyed their on screen interactions.

August straight up tackling Neal to the floor? Funny af. The 'I know you're Baelfire' reveal? Ridiculous. The fact that NEITHER of them can send post normally as both of them only ever seem to communicate to people via carrier pigeon or whatever. Amazing. August casually telling Neal that he's turning back to wood, whilst the pair of them are in the middle of a busy New York street, and Neal just standing their awkwardly like 'oh damn sorry, yikes'? SO FUNNY.

And there's even a moment later, after August has been killed off de-aged and is little baby Pinocchio again, where Neal talks with Emma about seeing him when he was at the park with Henry. And Neal goes "he's actually a lot cooler as a kid. Steals less of my money." Firstly, SO RUDE considering August has literally just had his character destroyed by the writers, and secondly, also really funny???

Not to mention I just ADORE the parallels between these two and no one ever really brings them up?? How actually, the things that Rumple said to August in 1x19...were actually lines that August probably needed to hear from his own father. About how he shouldn't have left him and let him cross "the barriers of time and space", and if he can ever forgive him for it.

And then, on the flip side, you have both Neal and August actively avoiding going to Storybrooke because neither of them want to see their fathers. (There's wayy to much to unpack in one post tbh, but you get the point).

3. Neal and Emma talking about home at the theme park in 3x22 (There’s No Place Like Home)

(Quick disclaimer here before we start but...I’m indifferent about swanfire. It’s a ship that happened and it was important to the plot and an important part of Emma and Neal’s lives. I know there are a lot of fans here that are REALLY big on the ship...and I ALSO know there are a lot of people on here that really, REALLY hate it with a passion. Personally, I just don’t wanna get in the middle of any big opinions or arguments rn. So, I won’t.)

What I will say, however, is that I kind of DO love this scene in particular. I like the hints that we get to Neal's past and his relationship with his dad. Him and Emma feel like they're really on the same page as one another here.

And I love the quote at the very end of this scene. His line about how you know you've had a home because "you just miss it." Not only is it a really powerful quote in general but it's SUCH a powerful quote given the context of all of the Lost Kids and their situations, none of whom really have a home at this point. Especially Neal and August, who both had good homes once upon a time, and have since been completely disconnected from their fathers.

Also? I love the parallels between this scene and the scene with Emma and August at the well in 1x13. With both Neal and August bringing Emma to an unusual location for a drink and Emma there like 'when you said let's get a drink, I thought we'd go to a bar or something.'

4. Lily and Emma at the bus stop in 4x20 (Lily)

oh.....the angst.

This scene is so emotionally charged. So painful.

We know that these two are...I guess cosmically connected? Tied together by fate. But they also seem to repel one another as well.

Part way through this episode Lily says that Emma was: "the first person that ever really understood me. Like we were meant to come into each other's lives."

And then later, at the bus stop scene, she says : "It's like my whole life is darkness and when you're around things are brighter."

It's kind of heartbreaking tbh. How Lily is so drawn to Emma but Emma pushes Lily away because she's spent her entire life being rejected by people and it's just what she's used to by now. And Lily, who has spent her life pushing people away (always by accident) ends up being rejected by the only person in the world she ever felt really safe and happy around.

The scene...it's just...it makes me emotional.

5. Emma and Ingrid at the fair in 4x11 (Shattered Sight)

This is not technically a scene with the Lost Kids interacting with one another but I still feel like it’s worth mentioning purely because of some of its ties to Emma's backstory.

I've mentioned this scene in posts before, but that's because it's so good! It's SO sweet and it DOES make me tear up a bit every time I watch it. Because, after being rejected time and time again, Emma finally has a home and a family with someone. Ingrid was going to adopt her and she actually had the chance to be with someone she loved and someone that loved her. Emma even tells Ingrid her that she loves her!!

And, like pretty much every Lost Kids related scene, that sense of home gets ripped away when we discover that Emma ran away from that opportunity (because Ingrid was talking to her about magic) and then had all those memories stolen from her. And so she was once again convinced that she had spent 28 years of her life completely alone, abandoned and betrayed by everyone. IT BREAKS MY HEART!

[descendantofthesparrow]

Interlude - Rewrite POYW- Harry Hook x reader - Part 7 - Plans coming together

=

-1 year and 11 months later(January 2019)-

Ben placed his hands on his hips and smiled, looking up at the large entrance doors to the newly appointed VK shelter. Everything was finished, from the kitchens to the smallest tile in the bathrooms. it was all ready, over 100 people were hired and ready to make food, repair damages if made, counselors, therapists, caretakers. Everything Ben could think of was implemented and ready to go. The CPS still had some paperwork to be approved and worked through, so Ben was looking at late July early August for the six new vks to be in Auradon.

Which would be six-seven months from now but, at least it was only six to seven months and not the 3 years it's been since he promised and started on getting more vks off the isle, including the start of production of the shelter and CPS system.

Ben pulled out his phone and smiled, in only a few days it would also be the 3rd anniversary of the first six vks arrival, they had arrived about two weeks before his birthday and his birthday was also the third anniversary of his time as king and his 18th birthday.

January had a lot to celebrate, didn’t it?

He knew the vks were planning something for him, and they were all keeping most of the information secret so they could surprise him. The only thing he knew was that Evie rented out a place for the party, invited Ben's closest friends that weren’t the vks. (Audrey, Jane, Doug, and Lonnie. Chad was invited too but Jay and Carlos told Ben about Chad’s very sus behavior about Ben when they told him about Bens capture on the isle so Ben was slightly wary of his old friend)

Ben had planned for a party for the 3rd anniversary of the original six vks arrivals for the vks but they wanted to wait until the next group came to Auradon, wanting to celebrate with their fellow villain kids. So Ben now mentally rescheduled the party to be in August, not knowing the exact date they would be getting the vks.

“We’re getting closer!” Ben couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he turned to see Mal walking towards him, her plum-colored shoulder-length hair in a low messy bun and wearing her favorite poison green jacket and purple and black dyed jeans. “Just a couple more months and we can finally get more kids off the isle” Ben hummed and looked back at the shelter, nodding to himself and tossing his arm over Mal's shoulder and leading her back towards the car where Luis, his chauffeur, was sitting in, waiting for them to be done looking over the building.

“Yep, I’m glad (y/n) and I were able to get the council to agree to us transferring kids twice a month, so it won't be as slow a process” Mal nodded along in agreement, remembering when (y/n), Evie, and Ben had emerged from the meeting room with shit-eating grins, telling Mal and the others that they had tricked the council into agreeing with their new terms.

“Yeah, twelve kids instead of only six a month, who knows maybe by next year we’ll already have most of the isle empty, other than the people that actually deserve to be there” Mal narrowed her eyes as her mind flashed to the thought of Captain Hook and Cruella, two of the cruelest parents on the isle “not a single kid deserves to be there a second longer”

“No they do not, but we need to do this carefully, I don’t want to risk anyone dangerous getting off the isle.” Mal nodded in agreement, stepping to the side as Ben opened the car door and let Mal slide in first, stepping in after her and closing the door, buckling up and nodding at Luis to head back to the castle.

Luis nodded and drove off, Mal and Ben continuing to talk quietly in the back. “So we’ll definitely have to have security guards, though last time we didn’t really need them?” Mal nodded again in agreement, remembering when Ben and the others had gone to grab Harry's sisters, the twins, Sammy and Dizzy, it had basically gone off without a hitch, but that might have been because of Harriet's crew acting as security for them.

“Yeah, we can see how the first one goes and if we see any sign of potential danger or someone trying to get out, we’ll get some guards to follow us to and from the side, maybe on bikes so they don’t have to do the whole getting in and out of the car. But we should probably wait on guards for a bit, having so many adults from Auradon that they don’t see regularly might make them antsy, I know I would be.” Ben nodded, they didn’t want to make the vks still on the isle think they didn’t trust them, so they might have to wait on guards at least for the first few pickups.

“Yeah, good idea” Ben sighed, slouching in his seat and looking out the car window, watching the forest go by as Luis drove back towards his castle. “still kinda sucks It's going to be at least another 6 months from now until we can even pick the kids but…at least somethings happening?” Mal placed her hand on Ben's shoulder and gave a reassuring smile.

“Hey, you’re doing your best, we all know that, the vks on the isle know that. It’s not your fault that the council is preventing you from doing what you want or need to do” Ben gave Mal a watery smile and leaned into her as she wrapped her arms around him for a moment before she pulled back.

“Thank you Mal” Ben murmured, sitting back up and unbuckling his seatbelt as the car pulled up to the castle and Luis pulled open the door, Ben and Mal slipping out and making their way into the castle, continuing to talk about the plans for the isle.

“VK day huh?” Ben chuckled, remembering Doug and Evie’s suggestion to make the selection days for the new vks a whole day for them, to let the children enjoy a day just for them. “That doesn't sound bad, if Evie wants, I can buy out that old abandoned warehouse downtown and you can all do whatever you want with it to make it like the party place, so you can have your own isle place in Auradon” Mal beamed, looking up at Ben with her eyes shining.

“That actually sounds cool! Yeah! Let's do that! I can spray paint the walls n stuff and-and Jay can-“ Ben let Mal ramble on as he pulled out his phone and texted Lumiere about the new plan, who quickly texted him back that he would take care of it.

Ben put his phone away and looked to Mal again, who was still rambling about the isle and the precautions they should take.

Ben grabbed her arm and led her to the garden balcony, where the rest of their friends were waiting. “Beasty boy~!” Harry cheered, Evie holding her arms out as Mal snapped out of her rambling and skipped toward her friend, halfway crawling into Evie's lap and snuggling into her, Evie giggling as Mal did so. “Yeh finally made it, and ‘ere I thought yeh got assassinated”

“I’m sure if I was you would be the first to know and avenge me” Ben smiled, sitting next to Carlos and Jay, picking up the plate full of fruit and taking a chunk of mango off the pile. Harry hummed and shrugged.

“Depends on who assassinated yeh, if it was (y/n)” Harry gestured to you, who was curled up next to him reading a book “I wouldn’t do a damn thing” Ben nodded in understanding.

“As you should” Doug and Lonnie looked at each other at Ben's nonchalant attitude towards Harry's morbid sense of humor, then shrugged. Over the last three years, the two had gotten used to the vks humor and way of interacting with the world so it hardly bothered them nowadays, especially when Ben reacted in a way that played along with the vks.

Harry took out his phone after it vibrated in his pocket and raised his brow, then laughed “CJ forgot why it's like spring in January” Ben laughed at that, shaking his head.

“Didn’t we tell her like, three times now?” (y/n) said from her spot, peeking over Harry's shoulder to look at the text from CJ.

“Aye, but yeh know ‘er, she forgets what she deems unimportant” Harry mumbled, texting back CJ with the answer to her question.

“Isn’t ‘January is charmed by FG to be spring weather for Ben’s birthday’ an important thing?” Lonnie asked, tossing marshmallows at Doug as he attempted to catch them in his mouth.

“You would think?” Harry snorted, pressing the send button and setting his phone on the table, leaning back in his seat and hiking his feet on the table, crossing his ankles and arms with a smirk “But CJ doesn’t think so apparently.”

Ben let out a small laugh, his eyes drifting over to Carlos, who was hunched over a small metallic object, wires poking out the top and sides, sparking as he messed with the object with a metal-tipped tool. “Carlos watcha’ doing?”

“Making a thing” was all he said, sniffing as a spark shot at his nose and burned him slightly, Evie leaning over and rubbing his nose as he leaned away from the object “um-project-high tech thing” Ben smiled as Carlos pushed Evie’s hand away gently, giving her a reassuring smile as he went back to his work “I’m tryna make a portable projector that can connect to my phone, I don’t feel like getting out my laptop every time Jay or Mal want to watch a movie but are too lazy to go sit on the couch to look at the tv”

“It's always so far away!!!” Mal justified her laziness, a pout on her lips as Ben and Evie gave her a look, a teasing smile on their faces. Carlos just pressed his lips together and Mal stuck her tongue out, pulling back as Carlos leaned forward and attempted to touch her tongue with the metal-tipped tool “hey!”

“Don’t stick your tongue out at me then! You all know I always have something electric on me, be annoying get shocked” Carlos cackled, spinning the tool between his fingers then getting back to work, Dude resting his face on Carlos’ leg and whining for attention from his favorite person. Jay leaned down to see Dude and picked him up, setting the dog on his lap and feeding Dude a slice of turkey.

Dude had long lost the ability to talk, the truth potion gummy Evie had made two and a half years ago wearing off soon after cotillion, for it was never intended to last longer than a day or two. Carlos was slightly relieved when it wore off, while it was nice to talk to Dude easily, Dude talked too easily and had been prone to reveal things Carlos and Jay hadn't really wanted to be revealed.

Besides, Carlos could still speak dog so it didn’t stop any communication between the two. Though the rest of the teens were relieved to be free of Dude’s sometimes badly timed jokes and begging for butt scratches.

Ben relaxed in his seat and sighed, enjoying a quiet moment with his friends as they ate and talked, pushing down a smile as he noticed Harry messing with (y/n)s ring finger on her left hand, she continued to only pay attention with her book, letting Harry do what he wanted.

Ben sighed again and closed his eyes, pushing back his hair on its back legs, feeling the charming spring breeze gently caress his face.

Only 8 more months till the awaited day, and there was so much that was going to happen in between it all.

His and Jays birthday this month, his 3rd anniversary being king, the 3rd anniversary of the original 6 vks arrival in Auradon, the applications being finally sent out in July, the cps set to be finally finished in May, most of the vks and aks graduation from Auradon prep in June, and Harry had something planned for (y/n) that he had only told his sisters and Ben so far.

And so much had happened before! Some of the group had turned 19 within the last year and we're beginning to find career paths in the world. Mal was looking at art collages to become a full-time freelance artist, Jay was looking at a professional tourney career and was looking at Sherwood Forest University for their tourney program, Evie was already deep into the fashion world, half of Auradon already wearing her brand and was designing a whole line for the upcoming spring, and Carlos already had an internship ready to go at Stark industries.

Harry was being scouted for multiple modeling jobs thanks to Evie hiring him as her model for almost three years now, (y/n) had a solid ‘at home’ job as a freelance digital artist, Lonnie was planning a temporary professional R.O.A.R career then joining the Chinese military to be at her mother's side as a general like her parents.

Doug was Evie's financer and personal assistant; Jane would be trained to become the next Fairy godmother so FG could retire. Audrey; he didn’t know exactly what she was doing but Ben heard from Chad that she was thinking of publishing her stories she had been writing for years now, Chad wasn’t planning for much, probably just going to live off his parent's money and live his life as a lavish prince (which no shame to Chad, Ben sometimes wished he could just chill with no worries about the world)

But all that wasn’t exactly something Ben had to worry about for a bit, right now he had nothing to do other than relax with his friends. He smiled as he heard Jane and Gil walk onto the garden balcony, the two separating as Gil sat next to Carlos and Jane next to (y/n). The two were temporarily broken up as Gil was now a legal adult at 18 (he was turning 19 in March) and Jane two years younger than him at 16. While no one, including Jane’s mother, had a problem with their relationship, the two decided to take a break until Jane was 18, if only because the two didn’t want any dirty looks from the old-fashioned Auradon folks.

Ben closed his eyes again and rested against his chair, ignoring Harry as the pirate began to balance oreos on Ben's exposed forehead, Mal snickering and helping Harry in his quest.

-one week later-

Ben stepped out of his car and walked into the jewelry shop, smiling as he saw Harry, CJ, and Harriet in the corner of the shop, Harry messing with his black-banded ruby ring with his fingers as he talked to the shop worker. “And her ring size?” the shop worker asked, holding out his hand as Harry handed him the ring.

“um-(ring size)” Harry offered, leaning on the counter and peeking over his shoulder as Ben stepped next to him and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. “Hey beasty”

“Hello, Harry” Ben hummed, a bright smile on his face as the shop owner looked over the ring and its band “getting it resized?”

“Aye, I've let (y/n) wear it before but it didn’t fit any of her fingers other than ‘er thumb, so” he gestured to the shop worker who started to sketch out the band design so he could copy it into the newly sized metal once made. Ben nodded and peered over Harry's shoulder to see CJ busying herself looking over the rings in the display box, Harriet's hand on her arm to prevent any thievery.

“Why bring them?” Harry looked at him through the corner of his eye.

“Harriet demanded ta come cuz it's our ma’s ring, an’ CJ threatened ta tell (y/n) about it if I didn’t bring ‘er” Ben winced, CJ did want Harry to marry (y/n) so ‘she could finally get a cool sister’ (which always resulted in a slap to the head from Harriet) but she was a brat and held the threat of telling (y/n) about Harry's plan over Harry's head to get what she wanted.

Harry turned back to the shop worker as he called Harry's attention, informing him of the time, price, and pick-up date of the ring resizing. Harry nodded and handed the shop worker his debit card, leaning on the counter as the shop worker walked off to go complete the transaction.

“Plus I wanted some family support” Harry muttered, a shy smile on his lips. Ben laughed softly and patted Harry’s back, rolling his shoulders and pulling down his plain sky-blue t-shirt as he looked around.

“When you thinking of asking?” Ben inquired, smiling as Harry bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I dinne kae, we’ve already talked about the possibility of marriage, I wanted ta make sure she was okay with it and she's all for it, but I have no clue when or how I’m gonna ask ‘er” Ben patted Harry’s back again in sympathy, not really having any advice for the flustered Harry.

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out” Ben laughed, standing straight along with Harry as the shop worker returned with Harry's card and handed it to him.

“Thank you, Mr. Hook, it should be ready next month, we’ll give you a call about any updates and when it's finished. Thank you for coming to Doc's jewelry shop” Harry nodded and put his card in his wallet, nodding at Harriet as she grabbed CJ and dragged her out of the store following Harry and Ben, CJ pouting as she stared at the shiny rings.

“Ice cream” CJ demanded, wrenching herself out of Harriet's grip and looking up at Harry with a pout, but she was wearing Harry's hoodie, which almost encased her body completely and it made her much less threatening than she usually was with that ‘Hook’ glare on her face.

“I jus’ bought a fukin’ ring CJ, I ain't buying yeh nothing, yeh have money, use it” Harry snapped, glaring back down at his little sister as she puffed her cheeks and slapped his arm.

Ben laughed loudly and nodding his head towards the ice cream down towards the left end of the strip mall “Come on, I’ll buy” CJ cheered and raced towards the ice cream shop, Harry and Harriet giving the king a look of thanks as Ben trailed after CJ.

-end of part 7-

part 7 bbys~ yep, everything's coming together~ we officially getting to the timeline of D3 and interlude is finally in 2019 yall. and i knoooow Gil and Jane broke up, but while i don't have problem with age gaps, Gils 18, janes 16 (turning 17 that year but still) it looks a bit weird and while FG approves of their relationship the two decided it would be best to wait until Jane is a legal adult. anyway, yep, Harrys gonna propose...HAVE FUN WITH THAT!

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